192: Jump at the Chance & The Death of Gaia Moondancer

Summary

Episode Summary: "Jump at the Chance & The Death of Gaia Moondancer"

Release Date: July 28, 2025

---

Introduction

In Episode 192 of "We're Here to Help," hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds of Headgum, listeners are treated to a blend of heartfelt advice and humorous banter. The episode revolves around two primary callers, Alyssa and Alana, each seeking guidance on unique and quirky personal dilemmas. True to the podcast’s style, Jake and Gareth navigate these challenges with a mix of earnest suggestions and comedic interludes, occasionally bringing in their friend Eric Edelstein to add more flavor to the discussions.

---

Caller 1: Alyssa and the Bouncy Castle Conundrum

[14:00] Alyssa's Dilemma: Alyssa calls in from Iowa City with an unusual predicament: she’s fascinated by her adult neighbor’s bouncy castle and wants to jump in it with him. However, her attempts to connect have been thwarted by the neighbor’s reclusive behavior.

Alyssa’s Story: Alyssa explains that her neighbor owns a bouncy castle but only uses it alone, creating an awkward barrier for her to join in. Despite her efforts, including leaving a friendly note, the neighbor remains distant, partly due to her fear of being perceived as creepy or intrusive.

Notable Quote:

Alyssa (14:08): "If he sees me come outside, he'll deflate it and go inside."

Jake and Gareth’s Initial Suggestions: Jake suggests Alyssa rent her own bouncy castle to create a sense of community, making it easier to approach her neighbor without appearing confrontational.

Jake (18:06): "I think you put a sign that says, you can jump on mine if I can jump on yours."

Gareth adds to this by proposing Alyssa demonstrates her interest indirectly by showing she’s part of the bouncy castle community herself.

Alyssa’s Follow-Up Efforts: After implementing their advice by leaving a creative note and attempting to engage directly, Alyssa updates the hosts that her neighbor has continued his solitary bouncing habits, even acquiring a new bouncy castle despite her efforts.

Jake and Gareth’s Continued Support: The hosts remain supportive, offering further strategies such as face-to-face interaction and maintaining a positive demeanor. They emphasize the importance of Alyssa expressing her genuine interest without overwhelming her neighbor.

Notable Quote:

Gareth (22:21): "That's a rom-com right there. This is a love story in the making."

As Alyssa continues to seek advice, Jake and Gareth navigate the complexities of neighborly interactions, balancing Alyssa’s enthusiasm with her neighbor’s apparent discomfort.

---

Caller 2: Alana and the Dungeons & Dragons Dilemma

[37:00] Alana's Dilemma: Alana, a 34-year-old from Long Beach, California, calls in with frustrations about her boyfriend serving as the Dungeon Master (DM) in their Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) campaign. Despite her boyfriend’s passion and engagement, Alana finds the sessions monotonous and uninteresting.

Alana’s Story: Alana has been part of a D&D group for seven months but struggles to enjoy the game. Her boyfriend, as the DM, is deeply invested, creating intricate plots and characters, which paradoxically makes the game less appealing to her. She revels in not wanting to burst his enthusiasm but finds herself bored to the point of wanting to step away.

Notable Quote:

Alana (38:24): "He's super duper invested in it. ... I just can't stand it."

Jake and Gareth’s Initial Suggestions: Jake proposes that Alana take over as DM, hoping a fresh perspective could invigorate the campaign and align it more with her interests.

Jake (42:14): "Here's what I’m thinking, Alana. I think you do a coup mid-game."

Gareth adds that Alana could subtly introduce changes by planting seeds of new plot twists, thereby organically shifting the game’s direction.

Alana’s Concerns: Alana expresses worries about undermining her boyfriend’s efforts and the potential impact on their relationship. She fears that overt changes might not be well-received by the group.

Additional Host Insights: Gareth empathizes with Alana’s situation, sharing his own outsider experience with D&D. The hosts discuss the delicate balance of addressing creative differences without causing personal rifts.

Notable Quote:

Gareth (44:12): "It was like seeing my dad naked. It was just like, exciting. No."

Final Advice: After brainstorming various strategies, including character-driven exits and alternative engagement methods, Jake and Gareth recommend honest communication. They suggest Alana express her feelings transparently while acknowledging her boyfriend’s enthusiasm, thereby preserving the relationship and possibly finding a compromise or new avenue for shared activities.

Jake (50:35): "Never tell him he's bad at it. That's a really hard thing to do."

---

Interactive Segment: Live Role-Playing with Alyssa

[27:00] Alyssa’s Follow-Up: Alyssa reaches back out to update the hosts on her continued struggle and the neighbor’s elusive behavior. The hosts encourage her to remain persistent yet respectful, emphasizing the importance of personal boundaries.

Live Role-Play Advice: To provide more tangible help, Jake and Gareth engage in a live role-playing scenario with Alyssa, guiding her through the process of approaching her neighbor with confidence and friendliness.

Notable Quote:

Jake (66:00): “I like it, too. And are you a lady who likes to drink alcohol?”

The role-play aims to equip Alyssa with practical language and strategies to break the ice without coming across as invasive.

Outcome: While the role-play is interrupted by Alyssa's real-world commitments, it serves as an illustrative example of the hosts' approach to problem-solving—combining practical advice with humor and empathy.

---

Conclusion

In this episode of "We're Here to Help," Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds effectively navigate two distinct yet equally challenging scenarios presented by their callers. Through a combination of thoughtful advice, creative brainstorming, and good-natured humor, they provide valuable insights while keeping the tone light and engaging. The interactive elements, including live role-playing and ongoing support, highlight the hosts' commitment to genuinely assisting their listeners, all while maintaining the entertaining essence that defines the podcast.

Notable Closing Quote:

Jake (71:09): “Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.”

---

Key Takeaways

1. Community Building: Alyssa’s situation underscores the importance of creating shared experiences to foster community ties, even in unconventional contexts.

2. Effective Communication: Alana’s call highlights the need for honest and respectful communication in personal relationships, especially when addressing differing interests.

3. Balanced Advice: The hosts showcase a balance between practical solutions and empathetic understanding, ensuring that advice is both actionable and considerate.

4. Humor as a Tool: Humor serves as an effective tool in diffusing tension and making difficult conversations more manageable.

---

Final Thoughts

"We're Here to Help" continues to deliver its signature blend of humor and heartfelt advice, making listeners feel supported in their unique life challenges. Whether dealing with quirky neighborly interactions or navigating the complexities of personal hobbies within relationships, Jake and Gareth excel at providing insightful and entertaining guidance.

---

For more episodes and to submit your own questions, visit [e-mail].

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

This is a headgum podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Everyone knows that feeling. Wanting to experience more stories, but struggling to find the time. That's where Audible changes everything. With over a million audiobooks and Audible originals, there's a story waiting to spark anyone's imagination. Take the Paris Apartment by Lucy Foley, the gripping psychological thriller that's keeping listeners on the edge of their seats. Imagine unraveling its mysteries during your morning commute or losing yourself in its twists and turns while doing household chores. That's the magic of Audible. It transforms daily routines into opportunities for thrilling discoveries. The best part? Members get access to thousands of included titles with new content added regularly. From best sellers to hidden gems, every genre imaginable is at their fingertips. And with one easy to use app, switching between favorites or discovering new passions has never been simpler. There's more to imagine when you listen. Start a free 30 day Audible trial and get your first audiobook free at audible.com wondery that's audible.com wondery.

[Jake Johnson]

And we are back. You know, I got something. We're here with Sweet Jesse. Sweet Jesse just had his first home run pitch.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

But I got something. I went to the LA Sparks game.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, that's right.

[Jake Johnson]

And my friend Jessica Williams gave me the seats. I was fraking courtside.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, it looked good.

[Jake Johnson]

I'd never been courtside.

[Eric Edelstein]

I haven't either. What's that like? What is the.

[Jake Johnson]

It's the best. It feels like it's crazy. You're just in the game. It's a different experience.

[Eric Edelstein]

Remember when someone spilled the beer on the court during the game?

[Jake Johnson]

I was nervous about that.

[Eric Edelstein]

Did you have. I was gonna say I could see you having a fear along this.

[Jake Johnson]

I wasn't. I wasn't drinking alcohol, but I had a soda water that my wife got me. And it was one of these, like, she just killed it for me. She got me one of those, like, essentially a big gulps of soda water.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Where I was like, where did you even get this? Cop, you're the best. And then I took a few sips and I'm like, I'm not gonna hold it. I put it on the court and I just saw what could happen.

[Eric Edelstein]

And I was like, oh, Jake Johnson ruined Spark's game.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. O. Then somebody twists an ankle. But I will say I'm becoming a goddamn WNBA guy and I was really enjoying it. And since I've been following the league a little bit more, I did not get into the Caitlyn Clark hype when it started. I missed the all of her in college. I paid attention I thought it was cool what was happening, but I. I didn't get invol. I was like, great. But all of a sudden starting to catch up with what's going on in that league. Listening to shaq Talk about RG3. Have you heard that?

[Eric Edelstein]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

Where RG3 is talking about a player who went to LSU and Angel Reese, she's just an aggressive player, but I've watched. She's fun to watch. And RG3, Robert Griffin, third, for some reason wants to give a million opinions on her.

[Eric Edelstein]

I know, like, everything.

[Jake Johnson]

Like everybody now everybody's got a million. But you know what Shaq said in an interview?

[Eric Edelstein]

Huh?

[Jake Johnson]

Say that again, I'm gonna punch you in the face.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, my God.

[Jake Johnson]

And he goes, he took off his glasses. That's how serious his. Eric Edelstein sent it to me. Because Eric loves Shaq. The closest thing we have to Elvis Presley.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, man, Eric is just loaded with him. That is amazing, brother.

[Jake Johnson]

He is the closest we got to the King. He's in law enforcement, brother. But Shaq takes off his glasses and he goes, leave her alone. You Say another thing, RJ3, I'm going to punch you in the face. It was as real of a threat. I felt like I was in seventh grade.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

When you're like, you might actually. When somebody would give you like, hey, don't say that again. You're like, I'll say what I want. They go like, I'm gonna fight you after school. And you'd go like, I'm not gonna say it again.

[Eric Edelstein]

You know, when I used to do kids birthday parties for my job, for my income, I was one time I went to Shaq's kids birthday party.

[Jake Johnson]

Wow.

[Eric Edelstein]

And I can't remember what I was like one of the X Men or something like that. It was, you know, a very strange little life. But I went there. I mean, obviously it's understated how enormous he is. Like, when you actually see him, you are like, my God. And little kids were like, there was like a Fisher Price hoop. And little kids were trying to like, shoot on a Fisher Price hoop. And Shaq would keep blocking it. And they would be like, no, you don't, Shaq. And he'd be like, I'll do whatever I want. It's my house. And like, it would just. Yeah, it was just exactly like that. It was so funny.

[Jake Johnson]

He's the best.

[Eric Edelstein]

The best.

[Jake Johnson]

I also, in terms of that, when I first moved out here, I used to cater and I catered a gig at some like, wme. Or ca party, whatever it was. And every celebrity we grew up watching was there and I was giving them hors d'. Oeuvres. And what was insane about it was they were all exactly how they are in movies. Like, Robin Williams was doing like full Robin Williams, like, right, like walk up, he'd be in a group with like Billy Crystal and somebody else and he was doing Robin Williams, the scallops.

[Eric Edelstein]

Like, oh, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

But then like they would all be laughing and I was like, this is an incredible show. And then I would walk over and I remember it was a young Vince Vaughn and he was holding court doing Swingers Vince Vaughn. And I was just like, Jamie Foxx was playing a piano and I was like, oh. And I was like, so this is what Hollywood is.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And Mercedesome was rude to me.

[Eric Edelstein]

What was she really?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, she said I gave her some hors d' oeuvre and then she goes, I need a napkin. And I was a very bad caterer. Like I got fire a lot. Very bad. I got like. I've had some really horrific stories as a cater. Not behavior people did to me, but my behavior where I look back and I'm ashamed of myself.

[Eric Edelstein]

But just not a napkin.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, just that I had no sense of how to do the job. I once did a job where I got hired by the guy I was working for at Upper Crust, which was called the Thing. He goes, how long have you been doing this catering? And I lied and said for years. And he goes, can you do one solo? And I go, of course, I can do anything. Of course the money's right. And he goes, 25 bucks an hour, cash. I'm like, done. He sent me to a house up in the hills where it was eight doctors. And it was eight doctors, they had a private chef. And I got there and it was just me and the chef in the back.

[Eric Edelstein]

So he's expecting like a world class waiter.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. But the chef, I thought the chef was my boss. So I'm just hanging out in the back with him, we're cracking jokes and he was a fun guy. And I was like, dude, this shit smells so good. And then he was like, when are you going to like set up the front? And I go, whenever you'd like me to, sir. And he goes, well, I do the back of the house, your front of the house. And I go like, well, who's going to tell me what to do? And he goes, it's your doing.

[Eric Edelstein]

So you're getting 25 an hour for a reason.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And he goes, just Set the table. And I go out like. Like the way I would in my house. It was like, no, this is a seven course meal.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, my God.

[Jake Johnson]

In the middle of it, because I dropped a fish on the floor.

[Alyssa]

Oh, my.

[Jake Johnson]

I picked it up wrong. And the fish broke in half. There's, like, a way to pick up fish.

[Eric Edelstein]

Seven course meal. And it's just you.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. And with. And they would say what they all wanted is. I was supposed to come out and.

[Eric Edelstein]

Say what it is.

[Jake Johnson]

Say what it is.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

But most of it was French Gareth. It. Nobody was laughing. So, you know, sometimes when you're dying. But it's funny. I would come out there and I'd go like, this is the boujon yash. Peppermint. And they would go, what are you saying? And I'd go like, I think he said mushroom. That was boojan yaf. And then they would go, boujon yaf is not a word. And I would go, give me one second. Let me hop back in the kitchen. Then they would go, okay, we got to go with the dessert. And I'm like, I'm still on this thing. My king.

[Eric Edelstein]

Is it buff? I ripped it in half.

[Jake Johnson]

The chef had to start coming out.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh.

[Jake Johnson]

People started complaining.

[Eric Edelstein]

How many people? Eight.

[Jake Johnson]

Eight people. Eight.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's even, like, small. Oh, that is mortifying. So who fires you so you have no boss and somehow get fired?

[Jake Johnson]

Well, it was eight male doctors, and they were having, like, a night. They were all drinking wine and doing their thing, and they were all foodies, and so they spent good money to do this. And then when I dropped the fish, the guy hosting it goes. Because there was only eight pieces. The guy, when I dropped it, he goes like, that's enough. And the chef came out and started doing both jobs. I hung out in the back, and then the chef had me do all the cleanup. And I was like, that's fair, brother. That is fair, brother. And I just sat up there ripping cigs on the curb, being like, this isn't working for a jigster. I was like, this is. I came out to Hollywood to be a big shot. This is really bad stuff. But I will say, beautiful view.

[Eric Edelstein]

Those bottoming out moments are. I have. So when I used to do kids parties, there were so many. When I was just like, no. One time I got booked as Batman when I was repped by WME to do a party on Saturday at wme. And I was like, oh, my God.

[Jake Johnson]

How'd you do it? Did you cover your face?

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, it was partially covered. And And. And, you know, there's a lot of people. There's a lot of people there. So I'm just kind of, like, doing it for the kids. So I'm just favoring.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my God.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. But I was so. I mean, I like, said to my boss after, I was like, never book me anywhere associated with this business ever again. Over and over again, all the time. And then one time I had to go. I took, like, two years off because I was working regularly, and then I had to go back to it.

[Jake Johnson]

Going back to a gig.

[Eric Edelstein]

That gig. Yeah, it was tough. And I. I had an old, like, you know, the old, old Batman outfit. I had that.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, you had like the 60s Batman outfit.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Like, it was like. Should take it out of rotation.

[Jake Johnson]

Why would they put your body in.

[Eric Edelstein]

The guy, like five. And everyone would sometimes get the short end of the stick and you'd get old Batman and at least give you.

[Jake Johnson]

The one with the fake six pack.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, that's what you normally have. Fake six pack. But every night. And so I was in the car in a play near a playground. I was just going. I genuinely was, like, crying. I was just like, this is. This is crazy. And I was like. And I got old Batman because that means the kids are like, what is this? And the whole party, like, it's fine. Like, you spent the whole time cleaning it up.

[Jake Johnson]

The life of a. Of an actor. There is so much humiliation. Guys, we gotta.

[Eric Edelstein]

We have a caller. Jesse, I knew it. I could feel your energy.

[Jake Johnson]

And without further go.

[Eric Edelstein]

WNBA Ado.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode is brought to you by Hulu Anime Hamilton Picture a magnet attracting all your favorite animated shows. That's Hulu animehem, your animation destination.

[Eric Edelstein]

You can catch all the shenanigans on classics like the Simpsons, Futurama, American dad, and many, many more. Hulu animehem is your animation destination. Stream now on Hulu on Disney plus.

[Jake Johnson]

For Hulu and bundle subscribers. Terms apply. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Hulu. Make it a New Girl Summer on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus this summer, folks, it's time to watch New Girl on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus. There's nothing like going back to the beginning and seeing Jess and Old Nick meet for the first time, watching Schmidt chase after Cece and laughing along with coaches and Winston's shenanigans. And then go back to this show and listen to all the episodes where they're on it, because they're on this podcast and they're on a new Girl on Hulu. And just about every guest star is here too. All the laughs, all the hijinks and all the fun, they're all waiting for you to stream. So make it a New Girl Summer Stream on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus. Make it a New Girl Summer streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus. Introducing the new Dell AI PC. Powered by the Intel Core Ultra processor. It's not just an AI computer. It's a computer built for AI. That means it's built to help do your busy work for you. So you can fast forward through editing.

[Eric Edelstein]

Images, designing presentations, generating code, debugging code, running lots of apps without lag. Creative line translations and captions, Summarizing meeting notes, Extending battery life, enhancing security, finding that file you were looking for, managing your schedule, meeting your deadlines, responding to Jake's long emails, leaving all the time in the world for more you time and for things you actually want to do. No offense, Jake. Get A new Dell AI PC starting at [e-mail] AI PC how those ahead? Stay ahead. Hello?

[Alyssa]

Hello.

[Eric Edelstein]

Hi.

[Alyssa]

Oh my God. Hi.

[Eric Edelstein]

You're not prepared for this. Welcome to. We're here to help. Can we have your name, please?

[Alyssa]

My name is Alyssa.

[Eric Edelstein]

Alyssa. Okay, Alyssa. Where are you calling from?

[Alyssa]

From Iowa City. Jake's old stomping grounds.

[Eric Edelstein]

Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

Have you gone to George's bar?

[Alyssa]

I have. Do you want me to go get a drink there tonight?

[Jake Johnson]

I would like you to get one of those hamburgers from the back, that tin little grill they used to use.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

How about Deadwood? You ever going to Deadwood?

[Alyssa]

I have a couple times.

[Jake Johnson]

That's where I watch carrie wood throw 20 strike. Coach, back to you.

[Alyssa]

Nice.

[Eric Edelstein]

All right, Alyssa, so you're going to go there?

[Jake Johnson]

Hopefully.

[Eric Edelstein]

And how old are you roughly? And what would your memoir title be? Let's hear it.

[Alyssa]

I'm 24. And my memoir would be something like Metamorphosis or something, or Plot twist, something like that.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, sure.

[Alyssa]

It's great.

[Eric Edelstein]

Love it. All right, well, what's going on, Alyssa?

[Alyssa]

So my adult neighbor bought a bouncy castle and I really want to jump on it. Ideally he would invite me over, but I think he's scared of me.

[Eric Edelstein]

Jake, can we just say how perfect this question is for this show?

[Alyssa]

This is a Gareth one.

[Eric Edelstein]

This is perfect. This is perfect. So your adult neighbor Jake 1.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a garret.

[Eric Edelstein]

100%. So your adult neighbor. Oh, can we could see it now? Now this is a full time bounce castle your neighbor has.

[Alyssa]

Yeah. So the first one. There's two. I sent you two pictures. He had a blue one at first, and that one was a lot bigger. Yeah, I think he returned it, but I'm not sure because it seemed like he struggled getting it into his living room. And so he got a smaller one, and now he uses that one often.

[Eric Edelstein]

So he's taking these down and putting them out for, like, just.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a college town. This is Iowa City.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, but he's not. We are not in a college area.

[Jake Johnson]

You're not.

[Eric Edelstein]

And it's just him in the picture we're seeing. It's just him in the bounce castle.

[Alyssa]

Yeah. He only jumps in it alone. He did have a bouncy castle party.

[Eric Edelstein]

One time, but he's very comfortable going out there and hanging out in a bounce castle on his own.

[Alyssa]

Yes. But if he sees me come outside. So my porch overlooks, like, their front yard area where his bouncy castle is. And if he sees me go on the porch, he'll deflate it and go inside.

[Eric Edelstein]

So he's embarrassed about his lifestyle?

[Alyssa]

I think so. But it's also in a very visible spot.

[Jake Johnson]

Does he have kids?

[Alyssa]

No.

[Eric Edelstein]

And you don't have kids either?

[Alyssa]

No.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay, so we've got a guy with a bounce castle. You want to jump in. He has no kids. He goes out there alone. When you check it out, he runs away scared.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Is this the beginning of a love story?

[Eric Edelstein]

It's got to be. This is rom com.

[Alyssa]

Well, I live with my girlfriend, so.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, that's great for the story. That's great for the story.

[Jake Johnson]

It's called throttle.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

I don't think that I should say anything because she doesn't think I should embarrass him or, like, make him paranoid that we're watching.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, it's not about that. Right.

[Eric Edelstein]

I got a pitch.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah?

[Eric Edelstein]

What if. Because I think you're. It's weird. It's. It's going to be strange for you to go out there and be like, hey, what's up? Can I bounce? That's strange.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

For him. What if you rented a bounce castle yourself for a day? Just have it out there and show him that you're in the community, that you're an ally.

[Jake Johnson]

I kind of love it.

[Alyssa]

I wanted to do that. I wanted to buy my own bounce castle, but I don't have anywhere to store it, so I thought about renting one.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

The only spot to put one is in his spot. So I would have to put the bouncy castle in his spot in his.

[Eric Edelstein]

Spot, meaning you share a shared space.

[Alyssa]

I think that's like, one flat spot big enough.

[Eric Edelstein]

I think that's okay.

[Jake Johnson]

I think you put a sign that says, you can jump on mine if I can jump on yours.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's opening the conversation. Yes.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

I think you rent it. I think you put it in that spot. When he doesn't have it there, he's going to be like, wait, what's going on? There's another dog in the neighborhood. And then you're going to be jumping in it, and then he's going to see that. And then I think, yeah, you put a sign out there. Something like that. Way more inviting. Then at least he's not going to run away. Shamefully, when you go out there and check it out, at minimum, and then you can start the conversation.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's another pitch on that pitch, Alyssa. Okay, so when he's out there jumping, the reason you haven't gone out there is your girlfriend thinks it will embarrass him.

[Alyssa]

That's part of the reason. Also, I have, like, tried to compliment his bouncy house. I've gone out there, too. Well, I got too nervous. I think he's gonna think I'm, like, annoying or stupid for wanting to open his bouncy house.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, hold on, hold on, hold on. So he's out there jumping alone in a bounce house?

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And you want to jump with him or you want to jump when he's not there?

[Alyssa]

Well, ideally, I would have a bouncy castle friend.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so you're looking to jump with him, but you're embarrassed that he's gonna think you're weird for wanting to jump in a bounce house with a grown man.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Alyssa, you see how the logic's a little strange?

[Alyssa]

Yeah, it is a little strange.

[Jake Johnson]

I would say 100 strange, though.

[Alyssa]

That's why I called you guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Well, look, this. I think this is an easy fix, okay? I don't think a man puts a bounce house in his front yard so that others don't want to jump.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

I think he's at minimum okay with.

[Jake Johnson]

Someone else jump and would maybe like it.

[Eric Edelstein]

Jump at the chance.

[Jake Johnson]

So I think it's just. I'm not a hundred percent sold, but if you like it, I could lean in. Because if you got another bounce house, he might feel competitive and be like, I don't know, that's her bounce house. Because what we're trying to do is say, maybe we can bounce together.

[Eric Edelstein]

You know what we could do? You could rent a bounce house and you could have Trouble setting it up and knock on his door and say, I just look so good that I wanted to get one, but I'm having a little trouble. I know you have one. Can you help me?

[Alyssa]

That's better, too. What if I rent a bounce house and he's not home the day I rent the bounce house?

[Jake Johnson]

Then you're bouncing in the bounce house alone.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, worst kid. Then you got to do it again.

[Alyssa]

True. I still get a bounce in a bounce house.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but. But that's. I mean, that's not. In my opinion, that's a win. But it's a different kind of win. Because you called in because you want to bounce in his bounce house.

[Eric Edelstein]

We're getting there.

[Alyssa]

That's true.

[Eric Edelstein]

So we're getting there.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's another thought. And this might be running a mile to go. A weird block. And this might be wrong. What if you left him a note that said, are you open for friends? Are you open to new friends bouncing with you?

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Or is this a personal bounce house?

[Alyssa]

I like that. Is this a personal bounce house part?

[Jake Johnson]

So is this a personal bounce house or open to the community?

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay, and then we leave that note on the bounce house.

[Jake Johnson]

In the bounce house.

[Eric Edelstein]

I would maybe tape it to the bounce house.

[Alyssa]

He takes the bounce house with him. Never alone.

[Jake Johnson]

The bounce house is never alone. Now I get it. He goes out, sets it up, and bounces.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, and it's weird times, too.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, he's a weird guy.

[Eric Edelstein]

I. It seems.

[Alyssa]

It's.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's. It seems. It seems to me like you grease the wheels a little bit if you rent a cheap one, put it out there, either bouncing it, or seem to be struggling with it, and then you engage him, because if he's taking it in.

[Alyssa]

Can I make a suggestion?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

What if you have your own bounce.

[Gareth Reynolds]

House party and you leave an invite.

[Eric Edelstein]

On his doorstep or in his mailbox? And then he knows that you like bounce houses, too, because he already had one.

[Alyssa]

True. He did have a bounce house party. We. We thought that he was having this party that no one was going to come to because he had, like, a table set out with drinks in the bounce house, and he was just jumping in the bounce house by himself. And then, like, 30 minutes later, like, 10 people showed up to his bounce house party.

[Eric Edelstein]

Wow.

[Jake Johnson]

So, you know, I mean, I was.

[Alyssa]

Really happy he wasn't alone.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth, to you, the idea of a guy digging up a body in his backyard is weird. This is weird.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, I did just have a giggle thinking of how often we've said bounce house. With great seriousness.

[Jake Johnson]

But it's crazy to me. A guy in his in college house.

[Eric Edelstein]

I don't, I don't relate to this guy. I, but I, I, I don't relate. I mean, more than the guy digging up Orville. Way more. But this is like, I'm not trying to. Nobody's get, nobody's going to get haunted because someone was bouncing. It's very strange to me to be bouncing in a bounce house alone. He's definitely high.

[Jake Johnson]

That's interesting.

[Eric Edelstein]

And I think, but I think I like Nat's pitch. I think you can do that. I also think that, you know, you might just be able to get there quicker with just one struggle in the yard to set up your own bounce house and say, it looked so fun. I rented one. I'm having trouble getting it up.

[Alyssa]

You mean something. I'm having trouble getting up my bouncy house.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, listen, I'm with you. You know what? You know what I really think you got to do here? And this reminds me, I don't remember the call, I just remember the term, but it was open a window and yelling. You like in that tub?

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, yeah, I remember that.

[Alyssa]

Yeah. I was thinking about the hot tub episode.

[Jake Johnson]

I think this is similar where while he's doing it, you got open up the window and going, how's that bounce? And he goes, it's great. And then you go, like, looking good, man. That's a great bounce house. He's like, oh, yeah, I love it. You go, can I bounce?

[Alyssa]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

You know, you just yell, can I bounce?

[Alyssa]

That was the original plan, but we think it's going to scare him.

[Eric Edelstein]

I worry it is too.

[Jake Johnson]

It's the same as when like a VW bus drives by and they do the headlights at each other. You're just saying, like, I'm in the community.

[Eric Edelstein]

I think the best way to show you're in the community is to get your own bounce house. I think you're right. This guy is taking his bounce house inside every single time. I think he's, there's a, there's a bit of.

[Jake Johnson]

He's embarrassed or he doesn't want people destroying his bounce house.

[Eric Edelstein]

Maybe there's rules for bounce house.

[Jake Johnson]

Shoes, no shoes.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's the only rule. There's one rule to bounce houses. There's not a 10 commandment list for about. There's literally one no shoes. There are rules.

[Jake Johnson]

It's not a pool. I agree. That's it. My favorite pool rule, which I still always love, is if you have diarrhea, don't Go swimming.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's the hot tub, too. That's always the one where you're like, yeah. To have to put it on the rule list.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, guys, if you have explosive diarrhea, don't jump in a hot tub.

[Eric Edelstein]

The same for you.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

We're asking you kindly to respect the others.

[Jake Johnson]

And then somebody goes, I have diarrhea, but I'm taking a tub.

[Eric Edelstein]

I mean, it's not terrible.

[Jake Johnson]

It didn't. It wasn't on the sign. It wasn't on the sign.

[Eric Edelstein]

I didn't know.

[Jake Johnson]

So you don't want to just yell, can I bounce?

[Alyssa]

I do, but I'm scared he's not going to bring the bouncy house out anymore after that. Yeah. Because he seems pretty chai. He seems like a nervous guy.

[Eric Edelstein]

I would.

[Jake Johnson]

How about this? Do you know where his door is?

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

How about this? As a note, thank you for brightening up the neighborhood with your bounce house. My girlfriend and I love it. We love seeing you. Are you comfortable allowing me to bounce with you? If not, that is totally fair, But I would love a chance to jump with you either way. All good. And then leave your phone number and just say. You could just text yes or no.

[Alyssa]

Okay. I like that a lot.

[Jake Johnson]

And then you go, if it's a no, I'll never follow up. And please don't stop bouncing. I love it either way. Just want you to. Just want to ask, but don't want to take away your joy.

[Alyssa]

And if he says no, I'll get my own bounce off.

[Jake Johnson]

And if you say no, you call back, and then we'll have some new pitches.

[Eric Edelstein]

Mine will remain the same. You will be renting your own bounce.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree, but I don't think he's going to say no. I think.

[Eric Edelstein]

I don't think he is either.

[Jake Johnson]

I think he'll write, okay, yes. All right, tell us, will you write the note as we're talking?

[Alyssa]

Yes, I'm taking notes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. But now you just go wild and you do the note. Let's hear it. And then, you know, we're going to do. You're on a cell phone, right?

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

We're going to finish the call with you walking over and delivering the note.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, wow.

[Alyssa]

Okay. I do have to get somewhere in, like, five minutes.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's go.

[Alyssa]

But I'll do it fast. Okay. Thank you for brightening the neighborhood with bounce House. What was the next part?

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you for. With the bounce house. Would love to bounce with you.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, okay. Would love to bounce with you.

[Jake Johnson]

But if you're not comfortable with that, I don't want to stop your joy.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Either way, I'm fine with your answer. Here's my number. Text yes if I can bounce with you. Text no if you would rather bounce alone. Either way, thanks for brightening the neighborhood with your joyful bouncing.

[Alyssa]

All right, I'm gonna write ps. My cats like to watch you bounce.

[Eric Edelstein]

Your cats like to watch you bounce. I would not do the ps.

[Jake Johnson]

I would.

[Alana]

Jesus.

[Eric Edelstein]

Wait, but can you.

[Alyssa]

Sitting on the porch. I think he can see them.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. My cat's like. Okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Natalie, what were you gonna say? Do it fast. We're losing her.

[Eric Edelstein]

Just your neighbor, Alyssa. So that he knows you're not just some random person walking by.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. And then, Alyssa.

[Alyssa]

Yeah?

[Jake Johnson]

Keep the phone to your face. And I want you to full sprint to his house. I want to hear the breathiness.

[Alyssa]

Okay?

[Jake Johnson]

And we're gonna time it. Okay? Ready? Tell me when you're ready to go. I'm gonna time you. How long do you think it's gonna take you to get there, drop it off, and get back?

[Alyssa]

I don't know. We'll see.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think? What do you think? You think you can do it in under a minute?

[Alyssa]

Yeah. Not like two minutes. Give me two minutes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. On your marks, get set, go. Okay, go. Are you going?

[Alyssa]

I'm running.

[Jake Johnson]

How fast are you running?

[Alyssa]

As fast as I can.

[Jake Johnson]

Faster. Sprint. Sprint. Okay. What are you doing now?

[Eric Edelstein]

Did you fall?

[Alyssa]

Okay, okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay.

[Alyssa]

I ripped off the next part of the paper.

[Jake Johnson]

What happened?

[Eric Edelstein]

What?

[Alyssa]

I just. I ripped off the good part of the paper.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

What?

[Jake Johnson]

Just. Okay, then. Are you.

[Eric Edelstein]

Slow down.

[Jake Johnson]

Are you. No. You near his place?

[Eric Edelstein]

She's gonna just walk.

[Alyssa]

Oh, God. I did it.

[Jake Johnson]

You didn't.

[Alyssa]

You.

[Jake Johnson]

Where'd you put it?

[Alyssa]

On his front porch.

[Eric Edelstein]

Just left it there?

[Alyssa]

Well, yeah, I was being timed.

[Eric Edelstein]

How much of it ripped? How much of it ripped?

[Alyssa]

Well, I got the note part.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay, so part of the paper just ripped where the note wasn't?

[Alyssa]

Yeah, I ripped off my. I wrote it on the same paper I wrote the question on, so I had to rip that part off.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so.

[Eric Edelstein]

So it's just sitting there on the porch?

[Alyssa]

Is it.

[Eric Edelstein]

Is it attached to anywhere? Is it just gonna.

[Alyssa]

Door in the wind, it might pull away.

[Jake Johnson]

Under the door.

[Eric Edelstein]

You gotta put it, like, in the screen doors, something. Or bring tape.

[Jake Johnson]

No, no tape. Don't put it under the door. Go.

[Alyssa]

Quick.

[Eric Edelstein]

Come on. Run faster.

[Alyssa]

I'm running on the neighborhood sho list.

[Jake Johnson]

Alys, go.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, it's not like you don't like fun Go.

[Jake Johnson]

And then when you.

[Alyssa]

The best part.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

Is you can see where the bouncy house was because all the grass is matted down.

[Jake Johnson]

Great. Are you there in front of the house right now?

[Alyssa]

Yes. I did it.

[Jake Johnson]

Where did you put it this time?

[Alyssa]

I put it on the doormat, like, underneath the edge of it.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, great. So it's stuck. Are you still there? Did you run back?

[Alyssa]

I'm in my driveway.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, great.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay. All right. There you go. Well, you've got to go. You did great. You've got a note there. It's sitting under a doormat.

[Alyssa]

Did you.

[Eric Edelstein]

Did you.

[Alyssa]

Timer, Jake?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. I stopped when she. She was at 54 seconds. She know I did it.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay. He did do it.

[Jake Johnson]

54 seconds. You had gotten back, but we sent you back. It didn't feel fair to keep doing it.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Alyssa, this is great news. Will you follow up with us?

[Alyssa]

Yep. And I'll go have a drink at George's tonight.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you.

[Eric Edelstein]

Can't wait to see where this goes.

[Jake Johnson]

Bye, bud. Thank you for the call.

[Alyssa]

All right, bye.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Skims.

[Eric Edelstein]

Skims men's underwear. I'm a man, and I started wearing skims. They've made it somehow. They have the tech where it doesn't go up your cheeks, your bum cheeks. Remember, I got waxed recently. So there's a whole new world of problems. There's nothing. I'm not going to get into it, but there's no barrier. There's no bouncer at the back. So. Yeah. So, you know, if I'm traveling or even just if I'm, you know, on the move, whatever it is, the Skims boxer brief is, like, the best pair of underwear I've ever worn.

[Jake Johnson]

I personally use the cotton boxer brief, and I like them. They're comfortable, they're easy, they're breathable. If you are somebody like myself, who does not give underpants a lot of thought, if you are somebody like myself who might have underpants in that drawer that are too many years old, get rid of them. Go to Skims. Get yourself some new underpants. If you're somebody like. Stone. Stone, if you're listening right now, I know you probably got some old underpants in that drawer. Enough's enough. Shop skimsmenskims.com and let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select we're here to help in the dropdown menu that.

[Eric Edelstein]

Follows, and we are brought to you by Mint Mobile. We've talked about it, we've talked about it and we've talked about it on the phone before and it's been great because we use Mint Mobile. Look, what you don't need worrying you in summer when you're having your beach trips or your barbecues or your fireworks or your, you know, who knows what you're doing. I stayed at home, so staying at home, I guess is on the list. It doesn't matter. Your wireless bill should not be stressing you out, which is why I have made the switch to Mint Mobile. You get coverage the speed you're used to, but for way less money. And for a limited time, Mint mobile is offering three months off your unlimited premium wireless service for 15 bucks a month. So while your friends are sweating over data overages and surprise charges, you'll be chilling, literally. And financially. I drive all over the country often, traveling all the time. There is truly no drop off between my previous carrier. I don't know why I said carrier like that and Mint Mobile. You keep your phone. You keep your phone number. The only thing that's changing is you're ditching your overpriced wireless and you're getting three months of unlimited service from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month. I use it. I think you'll like it. Can't say enough.

[Jake Johnson]

This year, skip breaking a sweat and breaking the bank. Get this new customer offer and your 3 month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a [e-mail] heretohelp that's mintmobile.com hereto help upfront payment of $45 required equivalent to $15 a month limited time new customer offer for free first 3 months only. Speeds may slow above 35gb on unlimited plan. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. This episode is brought to you by Quince Look, I'm not into chasing trends, but I am all about stuff that fits right, feels good and actually lasts. That's why I keep coming back to quints. They're lightweight layers and high quality staples that become my everyday essentials. If you like clothes that look good and feel good, as Deion Sanders says, look good, play good, play good, pay good, pay good, buy Quinn's clothes and feel good. And the money's not too much money at quints. It's just the best.

[Eric Edelstein]

They've got the breathable flow, knit polos, the crisp cotton shirts. It's comfortable, it's lightweight. People will be like, you look great. And I'll be like, and I feel comfortable. There's got to be a catch but the best part is everything with quints is half the cost of similar brands. I have so many items from Quince. I have a corduroy jacket. I have a, like a blue shirt that has like three buttons on top. I wear them all the time and they're not like falling apart. They are sticking with it. And again, that's because Quince is high quality. So stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from quints, go to quince.com here to help. For free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That feels like a year to me. Okay, that's Q-U-I-N C E.com here to help to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com here to help.

[Jake Johnson]

Hello.

[Alana]

Hi.

[Eric Edelstein]

Hi. Welcome to the show. Can we get your name, approximate age and where you're calling from, please?

[Alana]

Yeah, sure. My name is alana. I am 34. I'm calling from Long Beach, California.

[Jake Johnson]

Beautiful beach.

[Eric Edelstein]

Alana. I mean, we're probably getting tired of this question, so we'll change it up soon. But if you were to write a memoir about your life looking back, what would the title be?

[Alana]

Oh, my God, I was not prepped for this.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's how we like it.

[Alyssa]

I think it would be.

[Alana]

Meow.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay, well, you definitely weren't prepped. So anyone who thinks we prep these people, we do not prep. I mean, you just heard Alana's memoir title. All right, Alana, what is going on? What can we help you with?

[Alana]

So, yeah, I definitely need some help. I have a bit of a situation that involves my boyfriend in our Dungeons and Dragons campaign. We've been playing for about seven months and we've had about seven sessions. And I'm just finding that I absolutely cannot stand it. I am bored out of my mind. And the worst part is my boyfriend is our dungeon master. So he's the dm. He has made everything, the plot, the characters, the campaign. He's super duper invested in it. And I can just tell by looking at him like he's so excited. It's like a dream come true for him to do this, but I am having trouble enjoying it, so I don't.

[Alyssa]

Know what to do.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, very clean setup. Have I told. I don't know if I told you this, Jake. I might have mentioned this on a show, but Berg and a few of my other buddies were in a Dungeons and Dragons thing.

[Jake Johnson]

I couldn't believe that.

[Eric Edelstein]

And they told me that this. They told. They were like It'll be fun. So I joined it. And I'm not kidding, it was like a visceral. It was like my cells were like, this is not for you. It was. I just couldn't. I couldn't do it. Every part of me was like, nope. And it was like, it was like three hours and. And at the end I just was like, hey, I'm out on this. And they were like, come back for one more so we can kill off your character. But it was like, they love it and there's a lot of planning that goes into it and they, you know, it's kind of like you're seeing these. They're playing parts and roles and stuff. And so you're kind of like, uh huh. But I very much empathize with what you're talking about, Alana. And it only complicates it that your husband, the dungeon master, is the one who's kind of planning all this stuff.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, he's just my boyfriend.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, boyfriend, Sorry. But do you. Is he. Are you at all turned off by the way that he's kind of creating this character and kind of at the driver's seat of all this?

[Alana]

It's definitely not a turn on, I'll say that. But I mean, like I said, this is important to him. He's having so much fun with it and I just don't want to like, burst his bubble and tell him that I'm not having fun and he's actually boring me to death.

[Eric Edelstein]

Alana, did you say that it was.

[Alana]

Your idea to start this? Yes, it was actually, because I started listening to like a comedy D and D podcast and on that show it sounded so much fun. Everyone's always laughing. So I was like, oh, we could do that with our friends. And it's just not turning out that way.

[Jake Johnson]

And Alana, what's boring about it, as a guy who does not play D and D, But I'm glad Nat Attack asked that because. So I thought this was going to be. It's his thing with his friends. He included you. There's an easy way out. It's very different. You said, let's do this thing. He said, I'll be the dungeon master. So you could be into D and D. You're just not into his version of D and D. Right.

[Alana]

I think that's what it is. Like, I would have loved to start a campaign where he's also a player and we get to play together with somebody who has more experience and DMing and it's just a little bit more Natural at it. But yeah, like, I would love to play and have fun doing it.

[Jake Johnson]

You just don't like how he runs the show. Is there anybody else. Is there anybody else in your group who you think would be a better Dungeon Master?

[Alyssa]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you. How do you think you would do as Dungeon Master? This might be a run a mile to go A block, you said Good.

[Alyssa]

I think so.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. This is where I'm going with my pitch.

[Eric Edelstein]

You're. I think you're eclipsing my pitch.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's hear yours first because we know where I'm going.

[Eric Edelstein]

How many people are in the league?

[Alana]

It is four players in the dm.

[Jake Johnson]

Is it considered a league?

[Alana]

It's a party.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, it ain't. And is it. It's the same night every week.

[Alana]

No, we need. We try to meet once a month and just with scheduling it's different, but we try to stick to Saturdays at 11am.

[Eric Edelstein]

I was going to say if it was every week. I was going to say you now have a conflict and you just go out with your girlfriend and get wine every night that this happens.

[Jake Johnson]

But she's into the idea, so here's what.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, no, you've. You've turned over some more interesting information.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's what I. I'm thinking, Alana. I think you do a coup mid game. And I say that I don't know much about Dungeons and Dragons, but by the title alone, I understand there's a little bit of conflict. There's some sword play, there's kings, there's takeovers. Do you understand why the spiral staircase and castles are the way they are when you're trying to take over the castle, you're running up the stairs with your sword in your hand. The staircase blocks it, so on top they can chop you.

[Alana]

Okay, so you want me to get on top of a staircase and chop him?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, exactly. Right. What I want you to do is in early on, I want you to start planting the seeds where he was like, we are now surrounded by serpents. You go, we are not surrounded by serpents. There's a new Dungeon Master.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, here the way it would have to. Again, I've only played it.

[Jake Johnson]

Walk me through it, Gary.

[Eric Edelstein]

Twice. What wouldn't he's play? So he's kind of planned out their adventure for the. The game. Right, Alana?

[Alyssa]

Yes.

[Eric Edelstein]

So what you're going to have to do. And again, I don't. I barely know more than Jake. But what you'd have to do is ask him for a peek into what his plan was and Then you, at some point during the game would have to reveal to him and everybody that there was an alternative plan and you were pitching a coup where you. You basically overtake him as the Dungeon Master and you're pitching a different adventure so that it's kind of like everybody participating has to draw, has to now go along with the. Choose your own adventure and maybe there's a vote or something like that. Does that track?

[Alana]

I don't know if, like doing that mid game without him knowing about it and without any of the other people knowing about it either. I'm not sure if that will be well received.

[Eric Edelstein]

So then the alt on that is that you say to him, I want to be the Dungeon Master for a game, and you show him how it's done. This is what I would say. Tell him. I mean, look, this was his thing, right? Originally.

[Jake Johnson]

No, she brought it up.

[Eric Edelstein]

It was your. But. But wasn't it? Because it was kind of his thing.

[Alana]

Well, he's definitely like. He was heavily on the nerd side, so I knew he would be into something like that.

[Eric Edelstein]

Right.

[Jake Johnson]

She heard the comedy podcast.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. But she was trying to do something in the direct direction of something. She thought it would be a fun thing to do together because it was like something for him. So what I would say. So I. I think if you were to be like, hey, I want to be the DM for one. See what he says. And then you do. You plot it out, you do all that stuff, he's definitely going to have his little ego in some way affected by this. So you're going to. After that, one of two things will happen. Either. Or one of three. Either he's going to be like, all right, I got to step it up because you showed me how it's done. Or people are going to be like, you did a great job. You do it. Or there's going to be a little bit of attention and you're going to say, yeah, maybe I just shouldn't do it anymore. Or maybe I do it once every four months.

[Alana]

Here's the other thing, though, that being a Dungeon master, that requires a lot of work.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. I was going to say you don't want it.

[Alana]

I don't really want that.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Alyssa]

I want to show up and be drunk and fight.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay, what if. But what if you plot it out, you do one, and at the end of your plotting, your character dies, you fall on the sword for the good of the group.

[Jake Johnson]

But she doesn't want to leave the group, Gareth.

[Eric Edelstein]

But I think. Well, Alan, I mean, I Don't know if there's the.

[Jake Johnson]

There is a solution.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

I have no idea what it is.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay, but your pitch is, how about this?

[Jake Johnson]

How do we improve the game? Or what is your specific question again?

[Alana]

I just want to know how I can tell him that, like, I would be okay with stepping down and not playing anymore because it's better than being bored for one Saturday a month. So I don't mind not playing anymore and maybe just finding a different thing to get involved with. But I just wanted not to tell him that he's not doing that great of a job, in my opinion, and.

[Eric Edelstein]

I don't want to do that.

[Jake Johnson]

But what could he do to improve it?

[Alyssa]

It.

[Alana]

I. I don't know. I think it just. It's a matter of he's more experience. It's like his first time doing it. And like the dialogue.

[Alyssa]

Chunky Jake.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'm gonna be totally honest, and I. I love my buddies. When I saw them playing, you know, it was like seeing my dad naked. It was just like, exciting. No.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh.

[Eric Edelstein]

Huh.

[Jake Johnson]

Go with what you were saying.

[Eric Edelstein]

What did you say?

[Jake Johnson]

Go with what you were saying.

[Eric Edelstein]

What were you saying? You said a word.

[Jake Johnson]

This will be cut out. You keep going.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, won't be keeping. Was like, it. I. I don't want to. It like, it's not a turn on. So.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, I. I hear that.

[Eric Edelstein]

So she. So she. She's watching bad DMing from her boyfriend.

[Jake Johnson]

It's no bueno.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's embarrassing. So she wants, I think, for this. So that's why I would say tell.

[Jake Johnson]

Him not Dungeon Master.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's not look done properly. I still don't think it's hot Done shittily. You're like, yeah, yeah. So I think I would say to him, you want a DM for one? Show me how to do it. And then surprise everyone with you sacrificing yourself at the end. And at the end, he'll say, what was that? And you'd be like, I just wanted to try it for one. It's definitely more of your thing. You're so good at it. I just don't think it's for me. But I want you to keep doing it because you're great at it.

[Jake Johnson]

Interesting.

[Alyssa]

Wait, so I deal with the coup.

[Alana]

I become the dm, I kill my character, and then I just tell him my honest thoughts.

[Eric Edelstein]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Eric Edelstein]

Did you sound. Did it sound like I was being honest at the end? No. You're lying to him and you're saying, you're so good of it. You're so good at it. I don't think I fit it.

[Jake Johnson]

No, here, here, here's my pitch to you. My pitch to you is ask to be killed off.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's what I did.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. You just say I'm not into it. I don't.

[Eric Edelstein]

Or you want to be evil.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you mean?

[Eric Edelstein]

Like you want an evil character now you're like done with the good.

[Jake Johnson]

But doesn't that mean she's still just in it? Cuz he's a boring dungeon master, so wouldn't he just make her a boring evil character?

[Eric Edelstein]

I don't know. Just say you want to die.

[Jake Johnson]

I think you gotta die.

[Eric Edelstein]

Say you want to die.

[Jake Johnson]

I think you just say the game has bored me to death.

[Eric Edelstein]

I wouldn't say that.

[Jake Johnson]

Just.

[Eric Edelstein]

I mean it's not for me. You're so good at it. It's not for me.

[Alyssa]

I think I could get away with.

[Alana]

Killing my character because she's not very smart. So I could just do something stupid and die.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, you died early on in the game. And then you boogie.

[Eric Edelstein]

You know what I would say? Frame it as you want to take a break. Maybe you'll pick it up in six months and then never do.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think of that?

[Alana]

I like the idea of going out with a bang. I like the idea of killing Gaia Moondancer.

[Eric Edelstein]

And then I like how she's name dropping there. Jake herself. She's like Madeline.

[Alana]

But yeah. And then just like letting him know afterwards, like even though he was doing a really good job, this just might not be for me. But keep playing and keep having a good time.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

But that's what you want? I'm asking.

[Alana]

Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. I just don't want to be involved. He can still DM and you know, I like that if we keep it a little bit open ended and say, oh, maybe I'll pick it back up sometime or maybe we can do join a different campaign both as players and try it out then. But I like that. I think that's fair.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean that's easy. It's. It's a lot easier doing. No, this isn't. That's an easy solution and that's a win.

[Alyssa]

I.

[Jake Johnson]

What's a way harder solution is how you fix his DMing and I thought we could try to get there. If you just want to kill off your character, that's gonna work.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Never tell him he's bad at it. That's really hard to. That's going to be a relationship ender.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's fast.

[Alana]

Right. Yeah.

[Alyssa]

I definitely don't want to hurt his feelings.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's like watching someone be a terrible dancer. It's like, how do you like. It's not. It's not attractive.

[Jake Johnson]

Are you a good dancer, Gary?

[Alana]

That's entertaining, though.

[Eric Edelstein]

If I'm drunk, I'm pretty good.

[Jake Johnson]

If I'm drunk, Explain. What? You're so confident in yourself.

[Eric Edelstein]

Like, you're beatboxing. Goodbye, Nat.

[Jake Johnson]

What does that mean you're good at dancing? Like, what moves do you do?

[Eric Edelstein]

That's what I mean. The alcohol has to get. It gives me the flow, but, like, I find the beat.

[Alana]

Has anyone ever told you you were a good dancer?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yes. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Fans at his show who are looking for selfies? No. Is anyone ever.

[Eric Edelstein]

Wedding.

[Jake Johnson]

Who's your real friend?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

What have they said?

[Eric Edelstein]

Wow, that was surprising. I'm shocked.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, that's not what I expected. Hey, man, the wedding. You got drunk during the reception and that was really surprising.

[Eric Edelstein]

Nobody saw that coming.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, man, this was at the church. Could you please sit down?

[Eric Edelstein]

Hey, save it for the reception. I've heard all the big things, all.

[Jake Johnson]

The compliments that you heard.

[Eric Edelstein]

There was no music.

[Jake Johnson]

You found the beat of life.

[Eric Edelstein]

I found the beat.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Alana, what do you got? What are you gonna do here? What do you think?

[Alana]

I think. I think I'm gonna die.

[Jake Johnson]

Interesting.

[Eric Edelstein]

I forgot what the call was about for a minute. Out of context, I was like, I don't think you've heard us properly.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I think she did after that dancing stuff. And how are you going to phrase it? How are you going to get out of this? Are you going to do it in person, via text, at the game? What do you think?

[Alana]

I think I'm going to.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Alana]

I'm going to, like, rig the game. I'm going to find a way to kill myself.

[Alyssa]

And that would be it.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

And do you want to bring it up to him before, or are you all. Are you just going live seeing what happens?

[Alana]

You know what? I've done seven sessions where I've been completely bored, so I'm going to have some fun for this last one.

[Alyssa]

He's not going to see it coming.

[Jake Johnson]

And.

[Alana]

But, yeah, it's gonna. And if I can take anybody else down with me, I think that would be fun, too.

[Jake Johnson]

I like it, too. And are you a lady who likes to drink alcohol?

[Alyssa]

Yes, I am.

[Jake Johnson]

What about if you had three too many before you did all this? How about let's just bore every session?

[Alana]

I'm wasted every session and I'm still bored. So that Just.

[Eric Edelstein]

You know what? I'm gonna call this a win. Win. I don't think the league's gonna grieve too hard when you're not around. I'll be honest.

[Jake Johnson]

I, I, I would say rather than just. What's your character's name again?

[Alana]

Gaia Moondancer.

[Jake Johnson]

What if you see if Gaia Moondancer doesn't just die, but what if she tries to kill the game?

[Alyssa]

I kind of like that.

[Jake Johnson]

What if you say dancer turn into animals.

[Alana]

I can turn into an animal. I can turn into like a big bear or something.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Alana]

And then just go crazy because what?

[Eric Edelstein]

That's what made a wedding.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. And the big bear going like this. And I found the beat. What if Gaia goes so crazy that you force your boyfriend as a Dungeon Master to actually step up his game and become a good Dungeon Master or sacrifice the game? Because some of these Dungeon Masters these days, they haven't earned their stripes. To become a Dungeon Master, you need to slay all the monsters. How? He just takes.

[Alana]

Yeah, that's the thing. I think if he had had some experience as a player first.

[Jake Johnson]

You're giving him the experience. He went right to headline him fight for it. And if he destroys you, bravo. But if you destroy him in the game, it's because you're simply not ready, baby boy.

[Eric Edelstein]

Here's what's great about this. Jake has no idea what he's talking about.

[Jake Johnson]

That I've never played the game. But what I do know, kind of.

[Eric Edelstein]

He is kind of making sense.

[Jake Johnson]

But I do know if he can't control the game, the game controls him. And he is not the dungeon master, he's the dungeon servant. It's time for you to grab the sword.

[Eric Edelstein]

All right.

[Jake Johnson]

Lay him down. A wonderful dancer at wedding.

[Eric Edelstein]

Alana, we gotta go dance the dance.

[Jake Johnson]

Of knights and princesses. I dance the night away.

[Eric Edelstein]

All right, Alana, we gotta go. So Alana, keep us posted. Keep us posted on what happens. Let us know. No, you do not. Stop it.

[Jake Johnson]

Once upon a time in a far off land, there was a bunch of boys and girls.

[Eric Edelstein]

What?

[Jake Johnson]

And Santo was an elf.

[Eric Edelstein]

No. Jesus Christ. All right, Alana, we gotta go. Keep us close. Stop it. I agreed to a Brazilian. That's all I'm thinking about. All right, take care. A lot of. Keep us close posted. Bye bye.

[Jake Johnson]

Love you.

[Alana]

Thank you so much.

[Eric Edelstein]

Bye. Hello.

[Alyssa]

Hello.

[Eric Edelstein]

Welcome back. Who are you?

[Alyssa]

My name is Alyssa.

[Eric Edelstein]

Alyssa, Jake, anything.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi, Alyssa. How you doing?

[Alyssa]

Good, good.

[Eric Edelstein]

What's. Where are you calling from, Alyssa?

[Alyssa]

From Iowa City. I went to George's and had a drink for you. Hey.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, is this a follow up?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, yeah. Follow up.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, that's right. What'd you think? What'd you think of George's?

[Alyssa]

It was pretty good. I went and sat on the patio. So it was just like a parking lot with a gate around it and some folding chairs.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, there's their patio. Oh, but you went inside that great dive bar, right?

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

There's still a pizzeria right next to it.

[Alyssa]

I don't think so.

[Jake Johnson]

That used to be delicious. Okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

I love, like. Wait, what? Alyssa, what was your first call? Do you remember, Jake?

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, me either.

[Alyssa]

Okay. Bouncy castle.

[Eric Edelstein]

Bouncy castle.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, so, Alyssa, take over. Walk us through the problem for those maniacs who don't go back and listen.

[Eric Edelstein]

Those people are just. They disgust me.

[Jake Johnson]

J. Jake, you're getting Trumpy. You don't want them to be our listeners.

[Eric Edelstein]

Those people are disgusting, Jake. Why do they even bother?

[Jake Johnson]

We don't even want them anymore, so.

[Eric Edelstein]

We don't even want them.

[Jake Johnson]

Tell us what the original problem was. I remember you running across the street, which was incredible, but what's happening?

[Alyssa]

So you guys had me write a note to the neighbor. My neighbor, my adult neighbor, has a bouncy castle, and I want to be friends with him and jump in his bouncy castle.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a happy ending. Keep going, Alyssa.

[Alyssa]

All right, I need some more help.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, shit.

[Alyssa]

The note that we wrote, we put on the porch. And then bad Iowa weather. It was raining for a week, so he did not pick up the note. I felt pretty pathetic watching the note sit on the front porch in the rain for a week. And then I don't think he uses his front door unless he's using the bouncy castle.

[Jake Johnson]

Understood.

[Alyssa]

But then the note was gone one day, and I didn't get a text back because in the note, we wrote the text. Me, yes or no. If he wanted to bounce together. And I don't know if he found it, if it blew away or what.

[Eric Edelstein]

The note is great. Dear Bouncy Castle King is the best start to a letter.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth, will you read the note?

[Eric Edelstein]

The note is under the doormat of the bouncy Castle King. Dear Bouncy Castle King, thank you for brightening the neighborhood with your bouncy castle. If you are interested, I would love to bounce with you sometime. If you are not comfortable with that, it's okay, too. Here is my number. Number Text yes. If you are interested, text no. If you would prefer to be left alone to Jump in peace. Your neighbor, Alyssa P. S. My cats love to watch the castle. It's good.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, go ahead, Alyssa.

[Alyssa]

I have more information. So this weekend, I went for a walk and I saw another bouncy castle. And it was him again, but on the other side of the house, where I can't see it. And he has a new bouncy castle.

[Eric Edelstein]

Wait, so it's not good. Jake, the bell.

[Jake Johnson]

Was he alone? Jumping, yes.

[Eric Edelstein]

This guy. What is with him?

[Alyssa]

My theory is that he. Okay, this is an odd theory, but it's the only thing I can think of. I think he's a bouncy castle tester because he gets new ones all the time, and then they're gods.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't think that's how it works.

[Alyssa]

Okay, well, I thought that would be a pretty cool job.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't think they sent it to your house to just bounce on them.

[Eric Edelstein]

I think, by the way, a factory. Alyssa, what a. What a lovely job you've invented.

[Jake Johnson]

What a thank you, romance novel character.

[Eric Edelstein]

Hey. Hey, Dan, what did you think? New model? Yeah, she bounces pretty good, but, I don't know, a little too much give to me. And by the way, not that haunting. The vampire at the top didn't scare me throughout. How was the netting? The netting was good. The netting was good and secure.

[Jake Johnson]

So what do you think, Alyssa? He's just out there?

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, he. He read the note and he wants to be left alone. That's what he wants.

[Alyssa]

I don't know if he read it or if it blew away because we also had extreme winds that day, but.

[Eric Edelstein]

He moved the bouncy castle to the other side.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, Alyssa, I got a pitch.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Next time he's jumping in there, you got to go face to face.

[Alyssa]

Okay?

[Jake Johnson]

You just gotta do it. You gotta just say, right, hi. Can I jump with you? And if he pauses and doesn't want to and says, sure, go. Never mind.

[Alyssa]

All right.

[Jake Johnson]

Or try to.

[Alyssa]

I don't know when he's jumping anymore. I would have to be a creepy neighbor and go look at the other side.

[Jake Johnson]

So you already are a creepy neighbor. I mean, think of you ran across and put a note there, and your cats watch him jump.

[Eric Edelstein]

You're on a podcast about how to get into his bouncy castle.

[Alyssa]

You're right.

[Eric Edelstein]

He left a note.

[Jake Johnson]

It's too late for you. So now we lean in.

[Alyssa]

Okay. Just, like, sit in the parking lot and wait for him to get in the bouncy castle.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, the other version of this is that you just knock on the Door. When you know he's home, you knock on the door. If he doesn't answer, there you go.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's go. Right now.

[Eric Edelstein]

I kind of. Yes. Is that possible?

[Alyssa]

I can't go right now because I'm. I'm actually at work.

[Eric Edelstein]

Leave work. Quit. Quit your job.

[Alyssa]

Where do I work?

[Eric Edelstein]

Quit your job.

[Alyssa]

I can't quit.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, I am quitting soon, but let's quit today. Well, I think what we should do is the next time, I don't want.

[Jake Johnson]

Her knocking on his door.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay?

[Jake Johnson]

We don't know if he's a psycho.

[Eric Edelstein]

We do actually know he's a psycho. He's bouncing in a bouncy castle. Alone.

[Jake Johnson]

Alone. I want her in the safety of a front yard bounce house.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And I think what you gotta just do. Alyssa, on warm Saturdays, check the front of the property.

[Eric Edelstein]

Or. Jake, we just renote.

[Jake Johnson]

But she's not reading those notes.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, the.

[Alyssa]

So my original plan, when it blew away is I was gonna write a second note, front door. And I'm an art teacher, so I made a miniature ceramic bouncy castle replica. And I was going to.

[Jake Johnson]

You got a pick of it?

[Alyssa]

Put it on his front porch. No, because it exploded in the kiln. So I have to remake it.

[Eric Edelstein]

I don't know if that helps or hurts. I don't. Alyssa, I God love you, but I think putting a ceramic bouncy castle on there is. It's. Maybe. I think maybe the kiln did you a favor.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Alyssa, do you want to re. Note and go to the front door?

[Alyssa]

So the front door is where I left the note. The garage is the other side. So I could tape something to the garage.

[Jake Johnson]

I. I feel like this is a bad idea.

[Eric Edelstein]

I was going to say. Well, no, I think you got to.

[Jake Johnson]

Go face to face, dude.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

We tiptoed in the dark. It ended up weird. It got all rainy and windy. Let's not play the same game twice and expect different results.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay, I. I agree.

[Alyssa]

I think I'll start going on more walks. And if he's out there.

[Jake Johnson]

And if he's out there, you just say, start with this beautiful bounce house.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Then he'll go, gareth, let's do it. I'll be her, you be him.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Beautiful bounce house.

[Eric Edelstein]

Thanks. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

It's a new model. Yeah.

[Alyssa]

Huh.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's just the latest one. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

How she bounce?

[Eric Edelstein]

Good.

[Jake Johnson]

You testing him for a job or for pleasure, brother?

[Eric Edelstein]

Testing them for a job.

[Jake Johnson]

Is that your job? To test?

[Eric Edelstein]

I'm asking you if you're asking me that.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Eric Edelstein]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

So it's for pleasure.

[Eric Edelstein]

Was. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You mind if I jump with you?

[Eric Edelstein]

It's pretty tight in here.

[Jake Johnson]

No, it isn't. It's about 12 by 12.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'm bouncing on all the zones right now.

[Jake Johnson]

I'll stay out of your way. Ginger Rogers, Fred Astaire, huh? With dance partners.

[Eric Edelstein]

Maybe I could leave it up and you can bounce in it when I'm done.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm gonna leave you alone.

[Eric Edelstein]

Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

Now, let's give her one that's a little bit more positive.

[Eric Edelstein]

All right. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

How's the bounce?

[Eric Edelstein]

Good. Today?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

It's a new model. No.

[Eric Edelstein]

I don't know. I'm not sure. I. I just wanted to get one that was like. Like a firehouse.

[Jake Johnson]

That's cool. You mind if I bounce?

[Eric Edelstein]

Will you take your shoes off?

[Jake Johnson]

Of course. I know the rules.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's the only rule.

[Jake Johnson]

You got it.

[Eric Edelstein]

Get in here.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm Alyssa. I'm in love with you.

[Eric Edelstein]

Of what?

[Jake Johnson]

Alyssa, what do you think?

[Alyssa]

I like it.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Alyssa]

And I can take no as an answer. So.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. And if you go like this, and if you. You'll get a read. You'll go, how's the bounce? And if he's just cold, you go like this. Have a great day. Keep up the great bouncing.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And then, you know.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Just a cold guy. Who wants to bounce with a cold guy?

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

I. I like it. I. Him moving it to the other side is concerning, so. Yeah, I think that's the safe way. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. But just say, how about this, Alyssa? I'm gonna be the guy. You're you. I'm bouncing, and I'm gonna try to be as honest as I can about this.

[Alyssa]

Okay?

[Jake Johnson]

So you walk out.

[Alyssa]

Out.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm sweaty. I'm in a pair of shorts and a T shirt, socks on, no shoes. I'm bouncing in Iowa City. I was at Deadwood last night, and I went to the bookstore across the street, and I went to the PED Mall.

[Eric Edelstein]

All right. He's thinking of more places. He's out. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Kate Asbergren was the best teacher there.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

She now teaches that, I think. Cole.

[Eric Edelstein]

All right. Action.

[Alyssa]

Hey, Bouncy castle King.

[Jake Johnson]

What's that?

[Alyssa]

Nice bounce house.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks.

[Alyssa]

New model.

[Jake Johnson]

Do I model?

[Alyssa]

No. Well, sure. Do you model for bouncy houses?

[Jake Johnson]

I don't know what you're asking me.

[Alyssa]

I like your bouncy house. Can I jump?

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Alyssa]

Okay, bye.

[Eric Edelstein]

Hey, could she stop your neighbor? Could she have. If she didn't do the model thing, yes. Okay. I'm gonna go back to my house.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you, neighbor. Let's try again. I'm bouncing. I'm working up a little Glisten. Not quite a sweat.

[Alyssa]

Nice castle.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks.

[Alyssa]

Does it jump nice?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, it's got a nice bounce to it. It's not too firm. It's got a nice bounce to it.

[Alyssa]

What? Have you ever thought about jumping with someone else?

[Jake Johnson]

Say that again.

[Alyssa]

You ever thought about jumping with someone else?

[Jake Johnson]

I don't know how to answer that.

[Eric Edelstein]

Hey, I'm. I was just coming outside from next door real quick. Maybe just be polite and ask if you can bounce in there. Get to it. All right, I'm going inside. Why?

[Alyssa]

Can I please bounce out of your bouncy castle?

[Jake Johnson]

Not after that weird thing you did before, but maybe we could start over. All right. I have a full sweat at this point.

[Alyssa]

Hi. Nice bouncy castle.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks. Yeah.

[Alyssa]

Jump on your bouncy castle, please.

[Jake Johnson]

What?

[Eric Edelstein]

Hey, I'm the neighbor. Let me just do it with him and then just do what I did.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. Okay. Hey.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey.

[Eric Edelstein]

Bounce today, huh?

[Alyssa]

Huh?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

You mind if I get in there and bounce a little with you? Is that a cool.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, just take your shoes off.

[Eric Edelstein]

Thanks. All right. Try that. Alyssa. I'm gonna go back in my house.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm bouncing. I'm fully sweating.

[Alyssa]

Hi. Can I bounce?

[Eric Edelstein]

Hey, it's me from next door. Remember when I said do what I did and then you forgot a part of it?

[Jake Johnson]

Truly the worst at this.

[Alyssa]

This is.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, listen, take a breath. Take a breath.

[Alyssa]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. I'm bouncing out of the bounce house.

[Alyssa]

Hi. I like your bouncy castle.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks.

[Alyssa]

Can I bounce with you in your bouncy castle?

[Jake Johnson]

Sure. Just take your shoes off.

[Alyssa]

I can do that.

[Eric Edelstein]

There we go.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey.

[Eric Edelstein]

Hey.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think?

[Alyssa]

I like it.

[Jake Johnson]

Will you record it when you do it?

[Eric Edelstein]

And then you go in there and your phone drops out and he sees you recording it, he's like, what the Is this?

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

You feel okay?

[Alyssa]

Sounds good. Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay. I feel. I feel you're a little nervous that it hasn't even happened yet.

[Alyssa]

I am a little nervous, all right. I feel extremely creepy.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, let me remind you one thing. This guy is in a bouncy castle, alone, jumping.

[Alyssa]

Correct.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

You're okay.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree. And you're outside.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. You're fine.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, look, if you don't feel safe, do not do it.

[Alyssa]

It's not that I don't feel safe. I feel fine. I just feel like a creepy person.

[Jake Johnson]

Alyssa, you are. But he bounced in another man's bounce castle.

[Eric Edelstein]

But he's alone. It's He's. He's. Look, he's not Pee Wee Herman. It's a bit of a bizarre thing to begin with. So it's not like you're walking up to a person you don't know and being like, can I watch TV in your house? He's in a bouncy castle alone. All right, Alyssa. So take more walks. See if you see him. If you see him, do not approach right away. Get your phone out, hit record, put it in your pocket. Start the small talk. Make it short but nice.

[Alyssa]

Okay?

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay.

[Alyssa]

Deal.

[Eric Edelstein]

You got this?

[Alyssa]

I got this.

[Eric Edelstein]

Go get him.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod Gmail.com. and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] hereto help pod to see our entire catalog.

[Alyssa]

We're Here to Help is produced by.

[Eric Edelstein]

Rabbit Grim Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis.

[Alyssa]

Associate producer Jesse Thurston.

[Eric Edelstein]

Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Rollins. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike. Animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Alana]

All video episodes of season one are.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Available now on Patreon, and season two.

[Jake Johnson]

Video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go to patreon.com heretohelpod.