197: Dog Communication & Don't Cry For Me, Season Tickets (with Judd Apatow) - We're Here to Help

Summary6 min read

Podcast Summary: We're Here to Help
Episode: 197: Dog Communication & Don't Cry For Me, Season Tickets (with Judd Apatow)
Release Date: August 13, 2025
Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Guest: Judd Apatow
Knowledge Cutoff: October 2023

Introduction

In Episode 197 of We're Here to Help, hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds welcome renowned filmmaker and comedian Judd Apatow as their special guest. The episode delves into two personal dilemmas brought forth by callers: Andy grappling with his father's peculiar habit of communicating solely through their dog, and Aaron struggling to fairly split Detroit Lions season tickets following a breakup. Judd Apatow's participation adds a unique blend of humor and insightful advice, staying true to the show's ethos of offering well-meaning, albeit unconventional, guidance.

Guest Introduction: Judd Apatow

[00:24]
Gareth Reynolds opens the episode by introducing Judd Apatow, expressing their admiration for his work in New Girl and Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. Judd shares his passion for helping others, emphasizing that’s why he’s part of the show:

Judd Apatow: "You help people and that's important to me because that's the only reason why I'm in this, is to help people."
[00:30]

He also discusses his latest project, a book titled Comedy Nerd, and talks about his involvement in re-releasing his classic films Trainwreck and The 40-Year-Old Virgin in theaters to celebrate their anniversaries.

Call 1: Andy's Dog Communication Issue

Caller Details:

Name: Andy
Location: Nashville area
Age: 25
Issue: Andy's father has developed a habit of communicating exclusively through their dog, Bella, making interactions awkward and indirect.

[16:21] Andy's Dilemma

Andy explains his predicament:

Andy: "So my dad does this one thing that I need some help on. So he likes to talk to the dog. He only interacts with us through the dog."
[17:02]

He describes scenarios where his father asks questions to Bella instead of directly addressing Andy, leaving Andy unsure of how to respond appropriately.

[17:23]
Jake and Gareth probe deeper into Andy's relationship with his parents and the specific behaviors of his father, considering whether there might be underlying mental health issues or a communication barrier.

[19:54] Judd Apatow's Initial Suggestion

Judd steps in with a humorous yet thought-provoking idea:

Judd Apatow: "What if you got a bunny and brought the bunny in and you talk through your bunny while he talked to his dog?"
[19:55]

[21:08]
The discussion evolves into practical pitches:

Hiding the Dog: Temporarily place Bella in a closet during interactions.
Introducing a Second Pet: Bring in another animal (like a fish or a bunny) as a means to shift the communication dynamic.
Role-Playing: Engage in a "dog voice" to mirror the father's behavior, demonstrating how it feels to communicate through an animal.
United Front: Involve Andy's husband in addressing the issue to present a coordinated approach.

[24:14] Judd Apatow's Personal Anecdote

Judd shares his own experiences with pets during COVID-19, illustrating how close relationships with animals can sometimes lead to unusual behaviors:

Judd Apatow: "We got a cat during COVID because we wanted something to cheer us up... sometimes they'll all sit on our cutting board... We just love the cats, and we're like, that can't hurt us."
[24:13]

[25:03] Formulating a Plan

Gareth and Natalie guide Andy to implement a structured approach:

Use a Second Animal: Andy decides to introduce a goldfish to divert the father's focus.
Consistent Communication Strategy: Andy commits to talking to his father using the "dog voice" when Bella isn't present.
Follow-up with Husband: Involve his husband to discuss the effectiveness of this strategy and potentially request the father to reduce reliance on communicating through the dog.

Notable Quote:

Jake Johnson: "I like the goldfish idea. I can do that."
[25:25]

Conclusion for Andy's Call:

Andy agrees to the proposed solutions, particularly the introduction of a goldfish and altering his communication style to address his father's behavior. The hosts encourage him to monitor the situation and follow up with them on the progress.

Call 2: Aaron's Season Tickets Conflict

Caller Details:

Name: Aaron
Location: Detroit
Age: 33
Issue: Aaron and his ex-partner, Sophie, purchased Detroit Lions season tickets together before their breakup. They now face the challenge of fairly deciding who retains the tickets.

[36:05] Aaron's Dilemma

Aaron outlines the conflict:

Aaron: "We've been together for four years... We finally got season tickets this year and about a month ago, we broke up... we're not sure how to decide who gets the tickets in a fair way."
[37:00]

He mentions that initial suggestions like splitting the games or conducting a coin flip were rejected by Sophie, who is competitive and prefers a judged competition.

[40:24]
Judd Apatow proposes a creative solution: a singing competition where both parties perform a piece from "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina," with Judd and Gareth acting as judges.

[43:58] Gareth's Proposal and Sing-Off Setup

Gareth lays out the rules and stakes:

Gareth Reynolds: "Don't cry for me, Argentina... you're in a whole new era with this relationship... we have to get to the bottom of this one way or the other."
[56:54]

[55:26]
The sing-off begins with Gareth performing first, followed by Aaron. Judd and Gareth evaluate their performances humorously, highlighting Aaron's lack of familiarity with the song and Gareth's unexpected talent.

[66:50] Outcome and Reflection

Despite the playful competition, Aaron doesn't secure the tickets through the sing-off. However, the hosts suggest alternative strategies, such as offering Sophie a compensatory gift aligned with her interests (e.g., woodworking supplies) to buy out her share of the tickets.

Notable Quote:

Gareth Reynolds: "This is a good zone, Andy."
[35:13] (Though pertaining to Andy, it reflects the hosts' supportive nature across calls.)

Judd Apatow's Insights and Humor

Throughout both calls, Judd Apatow interjects with his trademark humor and practical advice. He balances the light-hearted atmosphere with genuine attempts to resolve the callers' issues:

On Andy's Situation:

Judd Apatow: "People get too close to their animals... you lose all sense of how you're supposed to behave."
[24:14]
On Aaron's Conflict:

Judd Apatow: "That's putting me in advantage... I have no idea how Garrett sings, so that's more interesting. I'm gonna crush it."
[60:07]

Judd's participation elevates the episode, making the advice segments more engaging and relatable.

Wrap-Up and Conclusions

As the episode progresses towards the end, Jake, Gareth, and Judd reflect on the challenges presented by the callers. They acknowledge the complexity of interpersonal relationships and the nuanced ways individuals seek to connect or distance themselves.

[66:58]
Gareth and Judd encourage both Andy and Aaron to pursue the suggested strategies, emphasizing the importance of honest communication and creative problem-solving in resolving personal conflicts.

[68:37]
The episode concludes with a reminder from Jake and Gareth about how listeners can submit their questions and access video episodes via their Patreon. Judd Apatow extends his appreciation, reinforcing the collaborative and supportive spirit of the show.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

Judd Apatow on Helping Others:

"You help people and that's important to me because that's the only reason why I'm in this, is to help people."
[00:30]
Andy on His Father's Behavior:

"He only interacts with us through the dog."
[17:02]
Judd Apatow's Suggestion for Andy:

"What if you got a bunny and brought the bunny in and you talk through your bunny while he talked to his dog?"
[19:55]
Aaron on Season Ticket Conflict:

"We've been together for four years... We sold our house, bought another... now we're not sure how to decide who gets the tickets."
[37:00]
Gareth's Sing-Off Challenge:

"Don't cry for me, Argentina... let's see who can perform it better."
[60:00]
Judd on Aaron's Performance:

"She has some upspeak. She's doing some upspeak on Evita... the truth is I never left you."
[61:21]

Final Thoughts

Episode 197 of We're Here to Help masterfully blends humor, personal anecdotes, and heartfelt advice to tackle unique and relatable issues. With Judd Apatow's guest appearance, the show not only entertains but also provides practical, albeit unconventional, solutions to its listeners. Whether it's bridging communication gaps within families or navigating the complexities of post-breakup agreements, Jake, Gareth, and Judd exemplify the show's commitment to being the friendly local bartender offering the best advice they've got.

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Transcript731 lines

[00:02]
Jake Johnson
This is a Headgum podcast.
[00:25]
Gareth Reynolds
We're here with Judd Apatow. Judd, do you know anything about the show? We're happy to tell you about it.
[00:31]
Judd Apatow
You help people and that's important to me because that's the only reason why I'm in this, is to help people.
[00:37]
Gareth Reynolds
You know what hearing your voice just made reminded me of about you, which I. First of all, thanks for joining the show. We're both big fans, man.
[00:45]
Judd Apatow
Happy to be here.
[00:47]
Gareth Reynolds
But your start when you would send, when you would try to interview people as a little boy, I know what.
[00:54]
Judd Apatow
You guys feel like trying to get guests on your podcasts.
[00:57]
Gareth Reynolds
Garrett, do you know about what Jed did?
[00:59]
Natalie
Oh, yeah, no, there's some great. There's some great stuff there. And the Garry Shandling documentary. There's some great stuff in there too.
[01:07]
Judd Apatow
Oh yeah, the fact that the audio exists of me at 16, before my voice broke, talking to my heroes because every once in a while you want to like play it for someone as a joke, but it is so embarrassing because it's like. So I know you like to do.
[01:23]
Gareth Reynolds
Comedy, but do you also like to do acting? But it just took such guts. Do it, man.
[01:30]
Judd Apatow
I think I was trying to invent the podcast.
[01:34]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, you were.
[01:35]
Judd Apatow
I love long form. No one was into long form back then. So all those people had never done long interviews. Maybe they did some morning radio or something, but no one ever interviewed them. That's why they said yes. Because nowadays everyone is doing long form interviews all the time. And back then, if you ask Seinfeld, it's like there was nothing on his calendar.
[01:56]
Gareth Reynolds
Right.
[01:57]
Judd Apatow
You know, so he would just do it. Not even ask questions like, how old are you?
[02:03]
Gareth Reynolds
Everybody had their plan bits. So what we do on this is we're going to get a couple of calls. Gareth and I have not heard the calls either. We are going to pitch on it and figure out what we can do. There's no rules to right or wrong pitches. We just kind of see what happens.
[02:19]
Judd Apatow
I am ready.
[02:21]
Gareth Reynolds
And what have you been up to these days? Are you doing more stand up or what's your kind of.
[02:24]
Judd Apatow
Well, I have a book called Comedy Nerd which is a. It's like an autobiography in scrapbook form. So I, I went through all my photos, all the memorabilia, all the notes from the studio, just every bit of ephemera and wrote essays explaining what it all was.
[02:46]
Gareth Reynolds
Cool.
[02:46]
Judd Apatow
And it's just a nerd hoarders paradise so that you can pre order that it comes out in October and all the money goes to people affected by the fires.
[02:58]
Jake Johnson
Oh, great.
[02:59]
Judd Apatow
In LA. And to 826 that does a free tutoring. So I gave away all the money. I should have gave away some of the money.
[03:06]
Gareth Reynolds
Yes.
[03:06]
Judd Apatow
Yeah.
[03:06]
Gareth Reynolds
Because it's a lot of work.
[03:07]
Judd Apatow
Yeah. But like it was two years work and then I was like, I should have gave away like a quarter of the money and all of it.
[03:14]
Gareth Reynolds
And is the book about standup or everything you've done, from directing to writing to everything.
[03:19]
Judd Apatow
It's everything about my comedy obsession. So it starts with me as a kid and just shows my list of what impressions I thought I could do. I had a notebook and I listed like, I could do Henry Kissinger.
[03:34]
Natalie
Oh, wow.
[03:35]
Judd Apatow
I can do Jimmy Carter. It starts there and then moves up through high school and the interviews. And then I literally put part of my college essay in the book. Because my college essay at USC was I told them what buildings I was going to donate. You know, I just described my donation, which is funny because that became quite a scandal in America. But in 1985, that was my funny essay was how much money I was going to give. It's very specific detail.
[04:08]
Natalie
And now you're giving away all the money from the book, so.
[04:12]
Judd Apatow
Yeah, but not to usc. They don't get a penny. The end of that joke is that I never give money to usc, even though I really promised it.
[04:21]
Natalie
Yeah.
[04:23]
Judd Apatow
I guess I'm supposed to mention to you, please, depending on when you're airing this, that at the end of August, they are re releasing trainwreck and the 40 year old virgin in movie theaters for a week.
[04:34]
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, no way.
[04:35]
Judd Apatow
Which is fun. It's gonna be on 800 screens. We just redid the 40 year old virgin so it looks good and sounds better.
[04:43]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, man.
[04:44]
Judd Apatow
Because it's the 20th anniversary and the 10th of train wreck.
[04:49]
Gareth Reynolds
Great.
[04:50]
Judd Apatow
So I'll even tell you the date. It's. What day is it coming out? August 22nd for a week. And so, you know, people say there's not a lot of comedies in the theater, but you could watch old ones, which if you haven't seen with people, they get laughs. It's worth the time. We did it.
[05:04]
Gareth Reynolds
What a blast, man.
[05:05]
Judd Apatow
We did a 20th anniversary screening at the Academy of Film Museum and there was a thousand people there. And I hadn't watched it, honestly, in 20 years. So it was the first time I ever watched it where I had forgotten about 70% of the jokes, where I could actually laugh at it. And I was, I was happy. I thought, you know what you didn't screw that up.
[05:25]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. It's such a killer. What's your kind of favorite role these days? Do you think it's more doing standup writing, producing, directing? What kind of brings you the most joy?
[05:34]
Judd Apatow
I. I've been doing a lot of documentaries. I'm doing one about Mel Brooks right now.
[05:38]
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, cool.
[05:39]
Judd Apatow
And so we've got to spend a lot of time with Mel. He's 99 years old and sharp as attack and hilarious. And we're also doing a documentary about Norm MacDonald.
[05:50]
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, wow. Oh, wow.
[05:52]
Judd Apatow
And so it's been fun spending, like, a year just watching every Norm clip ever, and it's endless. Like, we all think Norm was the funniest, but when you really start watching it all again, you realize you forgot most. All those talk show appearances. There's so many. And how many incredible jokes he had and moments, weird moments that you forgot about. He did the correspondence dinner back in the day. He really was so funny and took chances that you forget about. Really took some wild swings out there. There's some Weekend Update jokes that you can't believe how harsh they are. They will not fly now. Even those ones they do now where they're like, oh, oh, we're doing edgy ones, and we're, you know, we're. We're flipping roles and you have to read my jokes. The Norm ones are few levels beyond.
[06:47]
Natalie
No, he was, like, bombing OJ Jokes for, like, three years. He was almost, like, performing for the future to some extent, where it's like when he did that roast, when he just read old, corny jokes from a joke book and it was silent.
[07:02]
Judd Apatow
Oh, the sagged roast. Yeah.
[07:03]
Natalie
Yeah. It slowly started to pick up towards the end. Like, people started to be like, this is unreal. He's hanging in there.
[07:09]
Judd Apatow
So those. I mean, those are fun. I really like making the documentaries and trying to organize it, because I feel like in the future, we will need the documentaries to know who these people were. It'll be like the portal through which you decide you love Norm, and then you'll go down a YouTube rabbit hole.
[07:25]
Gareth Reynolds
And find all the shit.
[07:27]
Judd Apatow
Yeah. So that's fun for me because I think in a way, all I ever did want to do is just watch all this stuff, you know, I think I just made stuff to get access to the world, but now that I'm in the world, I'd rather go back to watching stuff and not making stuff.
[07:43]
Gareth Reynolds
I do catch myself in scenes a lot of the time that I feel like I'm just watching the other person and I'm thinking like, because I loved TV so much and I'll be in like a cross covered thing and I'll be like, God, they're so fun to watch. I'm like, I have such a great shot of this unthinkably funny. And they're doing exactly what I like.
[08:01]
Judd Apatow
Oh, absolutely.
[08:02]
Gareth Reynolds
They're doing that thing that they do that's so fun. I'm like, wow. And then I'm like, fuck, I have a line, asshole.
[08:07]
Judd Apatow
When I would produce on those Will Ferrell movies and there wasn't like an enormous amount to do once we started shooting and McKay and Will wrote those movies and they were just beasts on the script. So most of the time I'm just watching and just dealing with if it rains, what are we gonna shoot? It really becomes like pure, like line production. Like your creativity disappears because it's just so well in hand. And I would just find myself on set, you know, watching them sing Afternoon Delight and Pretty fun Tuesday, right? Yeah. As a fan, I'm like, I know what's happening. Like, I like, this is like you're sitting and watching the Marx Brothers make Duck Soup.
[08:49]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, totally. When you and Sandler were roommates, did you. Because Gareth and I are 20 year old friends. We got our buddy Steve Berg and Eric Gattelsen and we've all continued to work and we all kind of knew when we met each other that this group would keep going. Did you guys have that kind of thing where you're like, we know there's something here with this team. Or were you? Yeah.
[09:09]
Judd Apatow
Well, it's funny because I saw Sandler in New York. I didn't know him. I saw him at the Comic Strip, maybe I was 20 years old or something. And he used to do this joke where he would come out and he'd be wearing sweatpants and he would go, this is my impression of Mikhail Baryshnikov. And then he would just take the top of his sweatpants and pull up high so it was like balls protruded. That was the whole joke. And he was just so charismatic and so funny. One of those people, the moment you saw him, you were like, oh, that's the guy.
[09:47]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[09:48]
Judd Apatow
He's gonna be the guy that wins. And, you know, I've seen thousands of people since then, but there's almost no one where you go, yeah, he's the next Eddie Murphy.
[09:56]
Jake Johnson
That's.
[09:57]
Judd Apatow
I just saw him. And then we met maybe later that year more formally and lived together. And then across the street, Rob Schneider lived And down the street, Spade lived. And then Jim Carrey was always around, and I was trying to help him write sketches for In Living Color.
[10:13]
Gareth Reynolds
And where in LA was this?
[10:15]
Judd Apatow
We were in North Hollywood, so we were like, to Hunga in Riverside.
[10:20]
Gareth Reynolds
Great.
[10:21]
Judd Apatow
And in a $900 a month apartment, my rent was 425amonth. And, you know, so you could live on that. Like, I had a job. I would try to write jokes for people. I'd get 50 bucks here and there. And then I would write jokes for Roseanne, get a couple hundred bucks from her and Tom, do some spots of the improv. So, like, suddenly you're like, oh, my God, I can pay my rent.
[10:40]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, I'm doing the thing.
[10:41]
Judd Apatow
I can go to Red Lobster here and there.
[10:44]
Gareth Reynolds
Yes.
[10:45]
Judd Apatow
And then Sandler, he was on mtv, so he was doing remote control at the time.
[10:50]
Natalie
Oh, my God.
[10:51]
Judd Apatow
And so he had a thing like he would PJ on mtv. And back then that was gigantic. And so everyone felt like, oh, the Sandler thing's gonna happen. There was no one thinking, the Judd thing's gonna happen. But there was a lot of the Sandler thing is gonna happen. You know, when's the Jim Carrey thing gonna happen? You know?
[11:07]
Gareth Reynolds
You know, Sandler's roommate. That guy's gonna do it.
[11:10]
Natalie
Yeah.
[11:11]
Judd Apatow
And Spade came to town, and everyone was like, oh, there's this guy from Arizona. And Rob Steiner came from San Francisco, and he had the coolest, weirdest act. And then me, I was like, I like comedy too.
[11:22]
Gareth Reynolds
I've got a tape recorder with me as a boy.
[11:24]
Natalie
Does anyone wanna know how old Sein.
[11:29]
Judd Apatow
I want to write jokes for you.
[11:32]
Gareth Reynolds
Hey, Natalie, we got a caller.
[11:33]
Jake Johnson
Yeah, we have our caller.
[11:38]
Gareth Reynolds
This episode is sponsored by Skylight. Skylight calendars are the at home calendar that takes the old school calendar and makes it digital. They became a sponsor because I became a customer. I saw this on Instagram. I knew my wife would love it. We used to have that big calendar in our kitchen where everybody could see it. Now we've got it with Skylight. You could also put kids chores on there. You can do lists. It is very easy to do. I've been a big fan of it. And if you're not 100% thrilled with your calendar in the first four months, you can return it for a full refund.
[12:13]
Natalie
It basically syncs a multiple calendar household into one. I've actually started to link calendars with some people that I'm working with. And what Skylight does that is so exceptional is it gives you that kind of United wall calendar vibe so it can put into the Skylight calendar. Jake and I organically were talking about it on the show before we started working with them because Jake was like, I can actually see what my whole week looks like, my whole family's week looks like. I just personally like having the fact that I can have a calendar up on the wall. I could see my stuff up on the wall. I'm still hooked on the wall calendar. That's just how I am. It couldn't be easier. It syncs seamlessly with my Google calendar. The people I work with have Outlook. It's putting it all up there and making it so easy to use. You can assign people colors, whether it's your family members or whatever, so everyone knows what everyone else is doing. You're done forgetting stuff right now.
[13:11]
Gareth Reynolds
Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch calendars by going to skylightcow.com heretohelp go to skylightcow.com HereTo Help for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. That is skylightcal.com here to help this episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.
[13:43]
Natalie
Hey. Oh man, we love Rocket Money here. How could you not love the sweet ol Rocket Money? I've told you about numerous times where I've had an app or I've signed up for something and I've forgotten about it or thought I still needed it. And then Rocket Money has held me accountable. People forget. People don't notice.
[14:01]
Gareth Reynolds
So I started using Rocket Money when they first sponsored our show and I was shocked how much money I actually saved. It cancels subscriptions that you have that you don't even think about. It saved me money. I feel like there's no reason not to try it. If you've got a goal you'd like to save for, Rocket Money can analyze your accounts to find the best time to put extra money aside. Get alerts if your bills increase in price, if there's unusual activity in your accounts, if you're close to going over budget, even when you're doing a good job, Rocket Money helps with your money, which is very helpful.
[14:37]
Natalie
Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, with members saving up to $740 a year when they use the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to Rocket Money.com help today. That's RocketMoney.com help. RocketMoney.com help me. And we are brought to you by Cachava.
[15:01]
Gareth Reynolds
Oh, boy.
[15:03]
Natalie
I love cachava. This is the best protein powder I have ever had. Without question. It has the best taste. It is the highest quality. I recently was doing vanilla, but then I had chai, and just as there it. It is the greatest. I cannot say enough good stuff about cachava.
[15:22]
Gareth Reynolds
They also have flavors that taste good. I don't like things that taste like junk because I got the taste buds of a child. You can get chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, acai. I stick to the basics, chocolate and vanilla. I'm not against the swirl. Taking me back to my TCBY days. Throw some M&M's on that. Now I'm getting hungry.
[15:40]
Natalie
I put it in with, like, greens. So I put it in, like, with a green smoothie. And it goes from a green smoothie where you're like, ah, I'd rather, you know, drown than drink this to being like, this is delicious. I mean, this, it is as good as it gets. I am addicted to cachava. Kachava's called me and have been like, hey, you need to stop. And I'm like, hey, you need to stop. So there's a bit of friction there, but it's only because I love the product. So fuel your daily adventures with Kachava. Go to kachava.com and use code here to help for 15% off your next order. That's Kachava. K A C h a v a dot com. Code here to help for 15% off. Hello.
[16:22]
Jake Johnson
Hello.
[16:22]
Natalie
Hi. Welcome to the show.
[16:26]
Jake Johnson
Thank you.
[16:26]
Natalie
You're welcome. Can we get your name?
[16:31]
Jake Johnson
I'm Andy.
[16:32]
Natalie
Andy. And, Andy, where are you calling from?
[16:35]
Jake Johnson
Calling from the Nashville area.
[16:37]
Natalie
Okay. How old are you, Andy?
[16:40]
Jake Johnson
Roughly 25.
[16:43]
Natalie
Jake, do you care about Andy's memoir title?
[16:46]
Gareth Reynolds
Kind of. You got any questions for Gareth?
[16:48]
Natalie
I mean, we could do a memoir.
[16:49]
Jake Johnson
Andy.
[16:50]
Natalie
Let's say you got a memoir, okay? Looking back on your life. What a life. What do you call it?
[16:58]
Jake Johnson
Probably something along the lines of, somebody help her.
[17:03]
Natalie
Well, you've come to the right place with the right premise. Well, you've got me, you've got Jake, and we have a guest helper. We have Judd Apatow on the line to help solve whatever your problem is, Andy.
[17:14]
Gareth Reynolds
You're in a good zone, Andy.
[17:16]
Natalie
Yeah. So this is. We feel there's a high confidence level Here. So what's going on? What can we help you with?
[17:24]
Jake Johnson
All right, so my husband and I are in a house transition. So we sold our house, and we're in the process. We bought another house in the process of moving in. So we've been crashing with my parents for a while. It's fine. It's great. We love my parents. We all get along. But my dad does this one thing that I need some help on. So he likes to talk to the dog. He only interacts with us through the dog.
[17:57]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, keep going.
[17:58]
Jake Johnson
So instead of asking. Instead of asking us questions, he'll ask the dog questions. So, like, if we're leaving the house, he'll say, like, where are they going? Bella? When are they gonna be back? Bella. He'll drop a. Bella, they're leaving you.
[18:17]
Gareth Reynolds
Andy. This is exclusive. So your dad's always going dog first.
[18:22]
Jake Johnson
Always dog first.
[18:24]
Gareth Reynolds
And what do you do when it happens?
[18:27]
Jake Johnson
So right now, I kind of just stare at him. I don't really have the energy to. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't, like. Do I talk back to him through the dog? That feels wrong, so I kind of just wave it off. But that just feels. Feels kind of awkward.
[18:51]
Judd Apatow
What if you put the dog in a closet?
[18:55]
Jake Johnson
If I put the dog in the closet?
[18:57]
Judd Apatow
Yeah, just hide the dog.
[18:59]
Jake Johnson
Or if I'm coming in the house, it'll be immediately, oh, Andy, who's. Or Bella, who's home. Did Andy come to see you? So that wouldn't really.
[19:11]
Gareth Reynolds
So Dad's doing everything through the dog. Did this start when you just moved back in it?
[19:17]
Jake Johnson
You know, it's been going on for a while. I think maybe I've really noticed it now that we're there all the time. And I also feel like it gets worse kind of daily. Oh.
[19:33]
Natalie
You said you're living with your parents, right?
[19:36]
Jake Johnson
Yes.
[19:37]
Natalie
What does your mother think? Does your mother notice? Does she care?
[19:40]
Jake Johnson
She has no care in the world about that.
[19:43]
Natalie
Doesn't notice. Doesn't care.
[19:44]
Judd Apatow
Is he ill?
[19:47]
Gareth Reynolds
It's a fair question.
[19:49]
Judd Apatow
Is there something like, is he having a mental issue or neurological issue?
[19:55]
Jake Johnson
It's possible. And maybe I should have called a therapist.
[19:59]
Gareth Reynolds
That's the issue. This is the wrong place because we're gonna pitch some really stupid.
[20:05]
Jake Johnson
No, no, no.
[20:06]
Gareth Reynolds
Y. It can't be that. Andy, if it's really that, we're in a lot of trouble here.
[20:13]
Judd Apatow
Let's guess.
[20:13]
Jake Johnson
The medicine. He's a pretty normal guy.
[20:17]
Judd Apatow
What does he do for a living?
[20:19]
Gareth Reynolds
Fair question.
[20:21]
Judd Apatow
What's his occupation.
[20:24]
Jake Johnson
He works with trucks. So, like, mechanic, all that kind of stuff.
[20:29]
Gareth Reynolds
All right. Yeah. So. So, Andy, what is this? So your dad just talks to you through a dog? Have you ever then said, while he's doing that, if you go, I'm going out, and he says to the dog, is she going out? What do you say? Do you go, yeah, dad, I'm going out.
[20:44]
Jake Johnson
Yeah.
[20:46]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. What. Which do you. I'm trying to get a sense of what the real problem here is and what the question is. I get a sense of. This is really weird. Your dad's doing it. But if I was around somebody who was just talking to a dog around me, I would kind of call him out on it. Do you ever call them out?
[20:58]
Jake Johnson
Right. I don't. And. Because it feels awkward. So that might be one of the questions is, how do I call it out without being like, dad, stop.
[21:09]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, so you don't want to go confrontational with your dad. That's not your relationship with him. So. But you want this to end. So what is the specific question we can try to help you with?
[21:19]
Jake Johnson
Okay, so how. How do I get him to stop doing this? And. Or how do I respond when he does?
[21:30]
Natalie
I. I mean, there is something to the idea of put. Like, when you have. When you and your husband are going to go do something to Judd's pitch of you kind of put the dog somewhere else and see, like, the dog's not around always. You have to. At some point, you are having communication with your father, right? I mean, like, yes, yes. There.
[21:49]
Jake Johnson
There is some human interaction there.
[21:51]
Natalie
So then it's really about how we got to kind of confront him. You got to find a way to just be like, dad, talking through a.
[21:56]
Gareth Reynolds
Dog is saying, I got a pitch.
[21:58]
Natalie
Go.
[21:59]
Gareth Reynolds
I think you heighten it. I think he talks to the dog. You talk to the dog exclusively. And I think we got to show him how weird this behavior is. So he talks to the dog. Then what happened there, Andy?
[22:14]
Jake Johnson
I was gonna say, that's the thing is, I don't. I don't know if he realizes how weird it is.
[22:19]
Judd Apatow
What if you got a bunny and brought the bunny in and you talk through your bunny while he talked to his dog?
[22:25]
Gareth Reynolds
Do you have any other pets, Andy?
[22:28]
Jake Johnson
No, no, it's just the one.
[22:30]
Gareth Reynolds
And who else in your immediate group does your husband also think it's weird? Because you said, mom doesn't care, right?
[22:37]
Jake Johnson
My husband thinks it's weird, but he will kind of engage him and, like, play the game.
[22:43]
Gareth Reynolds
And what is the Game and talk.
[22:45]
Jake Johnson
Yeah, talk to the dog. Talk to the dog with. With dad, if that makes sense.
[22:50]
Gareth Reynolds
Give us a demo.
[22:51]
Jake Johnson
So when. So when dad is saying, where are they going, Bella? Are they leaving? My husband will say, we're leaving, Bella.
[23:03]
Natalie
You gotta cut. He's gotta cut that out.
[23:05]
Gareth Reynolds
Gareth, you got any crazy pitches?
[23:07]
Natalie
I mean, it's tough.
[23:09]
Gareth Reynolds
I.
[23:10]
Natalie
It is tough. I like when Judd said, a bunny. There is something to getting a fish. Like, that's a low lift. That's easy. You can have your communication fish. So every time your dad is talking through Bella, you talk through your fish. And maybe there's a way that. That starts to make him be like, oh, that's interesting. The other thing I was thinking is you could. You and your husband could kind of fake a fight through Bella in front of him, and maybe that's a way to show, like, the insanity, but you kind of need a united front. Mom should be a part of it too. I would say if you all make a decision on one day to talk through Bella to him and to each other, it'll really ruin any actual communication because it's. It's totally insane.
[24:03]
Jake Johnson
Right?
[24:04]
Natalie
It's not nuts, but fairly practical in the sense that your dad has a dog translator.
[24:10]
Judd Apatow
But I get it. You know, people get too close to their animals.
[24:14]
Gareth Reynolds
Yes.
[24:14]
Judd Apatow
You know, like, we. We got a cat during COVID because we wanted something to cheer us up. And then we got a second cat because we wanted to be twice as happy as we were from the first cat. And then by the end of COVID we had four cats. And sometimes they'll all sit on our cutting board, like, all four of the cat on the cutting board. And we don't care because we just love the cats. And we're like, that can't hurt us. And we're. That's what you get. You get, like, too close to your animals, and you. You lose all sense of how you're supposed to behave.
[24:46]
Jake Johnson
Hey, Andy, I definitely think that's what's going on here.
[24:50]
Gareth Reynolds
Do you think your dad would like to talk with you more?
[24:54]
Jake Johnson
Yes.
[24:56]
Gareth Reynolds
Do you think the dad's using the dog because he feels awkward around you?
[25:01]
Jake Johnson
Yeah, probably.
[25:04]
Gareth Reynolds
So here's what. Here's what I'm thinking, Andy. Here's what I think you got to do. I think you either have to have another animal with it. I think you have to talk to something else you have to ignore, or you have to fully have such a long conversation back and forth with the dog so that a certain point, your dad thinks you're weird.
[25:21]
Natalie
Get a stuffed animal, Talk through that.
[25:24]
Gareth Reynolds
What do you think, Andy? What are you gonna do?
[25:25]
Jake Johnson
I don't know. I like the goldfish idea. I can do that.
[25:33]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, do it. Let's see what happens. Do it to the fish. Do it. Let's see what happens. Try to get a goldfish talk back, and let's see what happens.
[25:42]
Jake Johnson
I might do that.
[25:43]
Gareth Reynolds
And then will you follow up with us?
[25:46]
Jake Johnson
I will.
[25:46]
Gareth Reynolds
All right. Thank you, Andy. Thank you for the call.
[25:49]
Jake Johnson
Thank you, guys. I appreciate it.
[25:51]
Gareth Reynolds
All right, goodbye.
[25:52]
Natalie
Bye.
[25:52]
Jake Johnson
Bye.
[25:53]
Gareth Reynolds
I think she got a little nervous around old Judster.
[25:56]
Natalie
Yeah, she definitely was.
[25:57]
Judd Apatow
Like, I didn't get that at all.
[25:59]
Gareth Reynolds
She got so quiet. One wordy. Yeah, People don't get nervous around old Jake and Gareth. No.
[26:06]
Natalie
God, no. No. They're actually quite rude to me.
[26:08]
Gareth Reynolds
They tell us how badly.
[26:09]
Natalie
Yeah, yeah. They'll tell us we were fat or something like that. So she definitely was like, okay, cool.
[26:15]
Gareth Reynolds
She was like, that should be fine. Yeah. It's like, well, you did call us.
[26:19]
Natalie
Yeah. And honestly, I'm starting to be on the dad's side 100%.
[26:24]
Judd Apatow
There's not a lot of good communication happening in that family direction.
[26:28]
Gareth Reynolds
Let's call her back and see if now she took a breath. If we can kind of get to the bottom of this.
[26:33]
Jake Johnson
We have so many weird dad calls. Like, so many of the advice calls are like, my dad is doing really weird shit, and I don't know what to do about it.
[26:43]
Judd Apatow
It's so easy to become the weird dad.
[26:45]
Gareth Reynolds
It's almost impossible not to.
[26:47]
Judd Apatow
I mean, at some point you're just bored and frustrated with your job and talking to the dog too much and just hanging. Hanging by your fingertips. In life, you just get some weird hobby or some weird obsession. Your kids are like, what is wrong with you?
[27:04]
Gareth Reynolds
I went to a lunch with Eric at Allstein today, and we were talking because I got two daughters myself, and last year one of them played basketball. And so I could sometimes drive the team from school to the game. But my lease is running up, so I'm looking for a new car. And Eric was like, he's trying to sell us on Cadillacs. He wants Cadillacs to come back. And I said, like, I hear. And he's like, elvis had a Caddy. I'm like, I hear you, man. I was like, but I want a little bit bigger in case I get to drive my daughter and her friends in the car. And he goes, so you could trap them and they have to listen to you. I realized, like, yeah, that's the exact reason. So they're stuck in my car and they can go like, you know, you win a basketball game by grabbing the loose balls, by setting picks. And I'm like, you guys can't believe it's a 40 minute drive. I want you locked in the back of a car. I control the music. And let me just turn Bill Eilish down a little bit and just say this. Hey, guys, defense does win championships. And my daughter will just die inside. And I'll just turn it right back up.
[28:01]
Judd Apatow
How old is she?
[28:02]
Gareth Reynolds
I've got twin girls who are entering sixth grade.
[28:05]
Judd Apatow
Oh, wow.
[28:05]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. So I'm ready.
[28:06]
Judd Apatow
That's a good era.
[28:08]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, it's the best.
[28:08]
Judd Apatow
I never wanted my. My daughters to play sports because I didn't want to go to sports events. And then that worked for a while. One of my daughters took basketball. And there was this one girl on her team, Pilar, and they were like 8, and she was just a ball hog and just shot every time. And I'm like, see, this sucks. Let's never do this again. Then she never played sports again.
[28:33]
Gareth Reynolds
You talked her out?
[28:34]
Judd Apatow
I talked her out of it. And then my other daughter wasn't into it. Did volleyball, wasn't into it. Then out of the blue, competitive cheerleading.
[28:45]
Gareth Reynolds
Sure.
[28:46]
Judd Apatow
Next thing you know, I'm in Sacramento and I'm in Riverside and Vegas, and then it's so boring. You have to watch so many, you know, cheers, and then you just start praying for them to fall off the pyramid, literally. Hoping there's terrible accidents.
[29:05]
Natalie
Sports would have been better.
[29:07]
Jake Johnson
We have Andy back, but we also have our next caller about to jump on, too.
[29:10]
Natalie
So do you want to. Do you want to see if the next caller can get anything out of her?
[29:16]
Gareth Reynolds
Let's bring Andy back. When the caller jumps in, we'll get off with Andy, okay? I just want one last swing at Andy. One last swing.
[29:22]
Natalie
All right, Jake.
[29:23]
Jake Johnson
All right. She's. Hey.
[29:25]
Gareth Reynolds
Hey, Andy, you back on?
[29:27]
Jake Johnson
I'm back.
[29:28]
Gareth Reynolds
You know, I was thinking the memoir was called Somebody help her. Somebody help me out. I don't know if we helped you. Are you happy with this solution? Andy, Talk to me here.
[29:37]
Jake Johnson
I think so, but what do you want to do?
[29:40]
Gareth Reynolds
Your dad's talking to the dog, right?
[29:43]
Jake Johnson
Yeah.
[29:44]
Gareth Reynolds
How do we stop it? Andy, do you want to get loud with him? Do you want to call him out? Do you want to talk as. Do you want to answer to the dog? What do you want to do?
[29:52]
Jake Johnson
I don't want to answer the dog. I want to stop the Dog talk for sure.
[29:57]
Gareth Reynolds
And what do you think would be the most effective in your house?
[30:03]
Jake Johnson
Let's see. I mean, he's not really an emotional guy. So any sort of like, confrontation like that is not.
[30:12]
Judd Apatow
That's what we're really talking about.
[30:14]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
[30:15]
Judd Apatow
This is the meat of it.
[30:16]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. He doesn't want the confrontation, which is fine. We don't want it either.
[30:19]
Judd Apatow
But he doesn't want to talk, period, is what I'm getting setting.
[30:22]
Gareth Reynolds
Is that right, Andy?
[30:23]
Natalie
This is.
[30:23]
Judd Apatow
This is a symptom of a larger dad shut down conversation.
[30:29]
Jake Johnson
Yeah, that feels right.
[30:32]
Gareth Reynolds
So if he talks to the dog, what if you answer in letter form?
[30:38]
Jake Johnson
Letter form?
[30:39]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. Dog can't read.
[30:41]
Jake Johnson
What is that?
[30:42]
Gareth Reynolds
He says, you. You getting salad? You want to eat some salad? You write down on a piece of paper, you hand it to him. Just change the form of communication.
[30:50]
Natalie
You could start doing dog voice. You only talk back in dog voice when he does that Goofle Scooby Doo. Yeah. Give a little bit like, well, I'm excited for dinner too. Like something like that.
[31:01]
Gareth Reynolds
Like the commitment.
[31:03]
Jake Johnson
He might just come back. He might come back with that.
[31:07]
Gareth Reynolds
I got another. I got an idea. Andy. Does he. So he uses a baby dog voice.
[31:15]
Jake Johnson
A little bit. Old man baby dog voice.
[31:17]
Gareth Reynolds
Here's what I want you to do. Next time you're sitting on the couch with him with no dog, ask him in a baby dog voice how he's doing. And then what I want you to do goes like, how. In a baby dog voice go like, how's work? Are you a little lonely dad? Maybe he's got to use the voice to communicate. Maybe we could break through of. Is it nice having a baby back at home? Lonely dad.
[31:41]
Natalie
You know what you could do?
[31:44]
Jake Johnson
I love you.
[31:45]
Natalie
Do that for two weeks and then have your husband pull him aside and say, you think that the way that he's talking through the dog is making you do this voice that's driving you crazy. And ask him if he could pull back on that a little bit for your sake. For the sake of your marriage.
[32:02]
Jake Johnson
Okay.
[32:03]
Gareth Reynolds
What do you think of talking to your dad with the same dog voices when the dog is not around, Personal questions about your dad, then trying to get on a one on one with dad. No dog. You're both just talking about your life and your feelings in baby dog voice.
[32:21]
Jake Johnson
I think I could do that. Could you record it? I could, yes.
[32:26]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, keep going. So you think you could do it? You think that what.
[32:29]
Jake Johnson
I think that might get to. I think that might get through to him.
[32:32]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay. If you do that, will you record a voice note on your phone as you're doing it?
[32:37]
Jake Johnson
Yes.
[32:38]
Gareth Reynolds
And then would your, like, can we do Garrett's thing in a week or so of doing that? If that happens, will you have your husband say to him, could you stop with the dog voices? Because my wife is getting really crazy with it, and I want her to stop.
[32:52]
Jake Johnson
Yeah, no, I think that could work. And my husband is the perfect person for that.
[32:57]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
[32:58]
Natalie
Commit to it, though.
[32:59]
Gareth Reynolds
So then, Andy, what are you going to do?
[33:02]
Jake Johnson
I like that. I'm gonna. I'm gonna start talking to my dad, asking him about his day, about his life. In a dog voice. Well, while the dog's not around, the dog is not a part of this conversation.
[33:13]
Gareth Reynolds
Good. And when the dog's around, you speak regular.
[33:16]
Jake Johnson
Speak like a normal. Like a normal human? Yep.
[33:19]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, Andy, give us a taste how he responds. Andy gave us a taste. Okay, let's hear you be you and the dad.
[33:28]
Jake Johnson
Okay. So we're sitting there coming home from work. Hey, dad, how was your day?
[33:38]
Natalie
I mean.
[33:41]
Judd Apatow
Delightful dog.
[33:42]
Gareth Reynolds
Pretty high commitment.
[33:44]
Natalie
I, I, if I could give a note, I would say I don't do.
[33:47]
Jake Johnson
The dog voice much.
[33:49]
Natalie
Well, no, not bad. No, that's not bad. It's a great. I would add a little more gruff Scooby to it, if you could.
[33:55]
Gareth Reynolds
Let's try again, Andy, with a little bit more. A little bit more dog.
[33:58]
Natalie
Got to make it bad for him.
[34:00]
Jake Johnson
A little more dog. Okay.
[34:01]
Gareth Reynolds
Actually, we got one of the best directors in the game, Judd. Are we missing anything here?
[34:07]
Judd Apatow
I think just the longer, the better to just be very, like, extended. You should talk like the dog for at least 90 seconds.
[34:15]
Gareth Reynolds
I mean, that's perfect. So can you give us 90 seconds of a take here as the dog.
[34:20]
Natalie
You'Re about to learn? How long? 90 seconds, Andy.
[34:24]
Gareth Reynolds
Don't worry about what comes out of your mouth. Just commit. Full dog in three, two, one. Action.
[34:32]
Jake Johnson
Well, hey, dad. How was your day? I'm goofy.
[34:37]
Judd Apatow
85 more seconds to go.
[34:40]
Gareth Reynolds
Keep going. Andy.
[34:43]
Jake Johnson
Did you have a good day today? Did you make any friends at work?
[34:49]
Natalie
Oh, my God, that question.
[34:51]
Gareth Reynolds
Keep going, Shooter.
[34:53]
Jake Johnson
What did you eat for lunch today? What are you going to have for dinner tonight? Are you gonna have any sweet treats after dinner?
[35:00]
Natalie
That's great.
[35:02]
Gareth Reynolds
By the way, Andy, if you did that to your dad on the couch and he answers you, you're in a whole new era with this relationship. This is a good zone here, killer.
[35:14]
Natalie
It's good.
[35:15]
Gareth Reynolds
This is a good zone, Andy.
[35:17]
Natalie
I also like making them like Dog centric questions like, are you gonna get a treat after dinner?
[35:23]
Jake Johnson
Same. Yeah.
[35:27]
Natalie
I think it's pretty good. I think it's worth a shot. Lay the foundation and then have your. And then I would say have your husband pull in and make sure to record it.
[35:35]
Gareth Reynolds
Yes.
[35:35]
Natalie
Purposes. And don't get caught recording it.
[35:38]
Gareth Reynolds
All right. Andy, you gonna do it?
[35:40]
Jake Johnson
I like this idea. I'm gonna do it.
[35:42]
Gareth Reynolds
I think it's gonna work. Try it out and then follow up with us.
[35:44]
Jake Johnson
Okay, Awesome. I will.
[35:46]
Gareth Reynolds
Thanks for calling back.
[35:48]
Jake Johnson
Thanks.
[35:49]
Gareth Reynolds
See you.
[35:49]
Jake Johnson
Bye.
[35:50]
Natalie
Good call, though.
[35:56]
Gareth Reynolds
Hello?
[35:59]
Jake Johnson
Hi, how are you? Good. How are you?
[36:02]
Gareth Reynolds
Good. Can we get your first name, please?
[36:04]
Jake Johnson
Yes, my name is Aaron.
[36:05]
Gareth Reynolds
Aaron. How old are you, Aaron?
[36:08]
Jake Johnson
I am 33.
[36:09]
Gareth Reynolds
33. Where are you calling from?
[36:11]
Jake Johnson
Detroit.
[36:13]
Gareth Reynolds
Detroit. There was a memoir about your life, Aaron. What would it be called?
[36:20]
Jake Johnson
Probably Constant Disappointment. That's probably what it be.
[36:29]
Gareth Reynolds
So, you know, damn, Aaron, that's a killer title. That's a brutal start. Especially after that last one we've had. Somebody help me in Constant Disappointment. We gotta stop with these. No more questions. You know, I don't disagree, Aaron. So I. And your problem today, if 10 is the most serious, zeros the least. Where are we at on this? Are we going to be at about a 7? How important is this problem to you?
[37:01]
Jake Johnson
It's pretty important. I'd say we're at like a nine.
[37:03]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, so this is a big one. Well, we got somebody who's going to help, who I'm very excited about. I've been a fan of them for basically my entire adult life. I would say starting about 17, 18. Mr. Judd Apatow has joined. I'm serious. He's here.
[37:20]
Jake Johnson
This is wild.
[37:22]
Gareth Reynolds
This is a. This is a big one. We've got Gareth as well shooting, and we're ready to try to help Aaron. So take it away.
[37:30]
Jake Johnson
All right. So essentially a big Detroit Lions fan here have been all my life. It's been a rough road, but, you know, we've. We've turned the corner last couple years. So I've been in the waiting list for season tickets for forever.
[37:44]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
[37:45]
Jake Johnson
We finally got them this year and my partner at the time went in on it with me to buy them. And then about a month ago, we broke up. So now we're kind of not sure how to decide who gets the tickets in a fair way. So that's kind of where we're at.
[38:05]
Judd Apatow
Tickets to what? I didn't hear what the show was.
[38:07]
Gareth Reynolds
The Detroit Lions, the football games. So probably nine games.
[38:12]
Jake Johnson
Yeah. Well, with preseason, maybe A little bit.
[38:15]
Gareth Reynolds
More, but, yeah, maybe with playoffs.
[38:17]
Judd Apatow
What's the rate for that?
[38:18]
Jake Johnson
And obviously the playoffs. Yes.
[38:20]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
[38:20]
Jake Johnson
I'm sorry.
[38:21]
Judd Apatow
How much does that cost you?
[38:23]
Jake Johnson
So they went up a lot this year compared to last year. So I think now they're like, they want. They were 100 again last year. Now they're like 120 or 140. So that times whatever 8 is. I don't do math, so I got you.
[38:35]
Gareth Reynolds
But. But the thing is, is you both want the tickets.
[38:39]
Jake Johnson
Well, here's the thing. I really want the tickets. I think she just wants the tickets because I want the tickets.
[38:45]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
[38:46]
Jake Johnson
She's in the waiting room.
[38:47]
Gareth Reynolds
She's in the waiting room.
[38:48]
Natalie
She is?
[38:49]
Jake Johnson
Yeah, yeah. She. I had to convince her, like, several days to come on, but she said she would, so.
[38:54]
Gareth Reynolds
All right, Aaron, hold on. Before we bring her on. When did you guys break up?
[38:59]
Jake Johnson
It was about a little over a month ago. Beginning of June, so.
[39:02]
Gareth Reynolds
And how long were you guys together before that? What do we need to know before this?
[39:06]
Jake Johnson
Yeah, we. So we're together for four years.
[39:08]
Gareth Reynolds
It's a long one.
[39:09]
Jake Johnson
And it wasn't like some, like, crazy, dramatic breakup. It was just kind of, you know, when you realize people grow apart and you just would be better as friends. So we just, you know, don't get along in the relationship way anymore.
[39:22]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, so if she decides to give up her half of the tickets, you pay for them. Is that a win for you?
[39:30]
Jake Johnson
Well, that's what I tried. So that was my first suggestion because I. I thought that would be, like, an easy win for me.
[39:36]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
[39:36]
Jake Johnson
You know, giving her the money back and then I get the tickets. But then she said that she didn't like that idea. And then I kind of just tossed out some, like, very neutral ideas. Like, let's, like, each get half the games. We can split the games. Because she doesn't really care as much about the games as I feel like I do. So I feel like her doesn't really matter which four games she goes to or whatever. 5. So we tried that. I was like, let's just do like. Like a coin flip or something easy. That's like. There's no, like, I don't know, just like a kind of luck of the draw type thing. And she didn't like that idea. She wanted. She's very competitive, and so am I. So she wanted to do, like, some kind of competition that could be judged, but then we couldn't find if you won, that would be, like, neutral because we're all friends of everyone.
[40:21]
Gareth Reynolds
So, Aaron, we're neutral.
[40:23]
Jake Johnson
Okay.
[40:24]
Gareth Reynolds
What were you guys thinking of competing with?
[40:26]
Jake Johnson
Yeah, well, that's the other thing too, is she, like, really wanted to get, like, feel like, athletic things, and I am not as athletic as her, so I think that already puts me at a disadvantage. So. And then I was like, well, let's do, like, Lions trivia, you know? And then she was like, no, because she knows that she would lose that because I know a lot more than she does.
[40:44]
Gareth Reynolds
What about singing?
[40:47]
Jake Johnson
Yeah, we could do singing. I'm down.
[40:48]
Gareth Reynolds
What if we did a singing competition? Judd, Gareth and I are the judges. Whoever picks the better song gets the tickets. The other one's got to be bought out.
[41:00]
Jake Johnson
I mean, I'm down.
[41:02]
Natalie
What is.
[41:03]
Gareth Reynolds
What is your. Go ahead, Gareth.
[41:04]
Natalie
Well, what is. Yeah, what is your. What is your ex partner's name?
[41:08]
Jake Johnson
Sophie.
[41:09]
Natalie
So what is she like? Like, because this is your.
[41:12]
Gareth Reynolds
We might have to bring her on, Gareth.
[41:13]
Natalie
I know, but I.
[41:14]
Jake Johnson
Well, and that's the thing is she must.
[41:24]
Natalie
I do too, talk to her solo.
[41:27]
Gareth Reynolds
Yes. Let's get. Now we gotta be nervous, but it should event you put us in a really weird situation here.
[41:33]
Jake Johnson
Well, listen, I just, I wrote in because I was like, I need my original question, but I realized it wasn't as fair. I was like, how do we find a way to guarantee that I win?
[41:44]
Gareth Reynolds
I respect the honesty. Aaron. I like this call a lot, but it might get ugly. Okay, so we are on your team right now. We don't know what's going to happen.
[41:55]
Natalie
We talk a jump ship.
[41:57]
Jake Johnson
I'm willing to, like, you know, I, I. Yeah, I can fight for myself. It's all right.
[42:01]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay. I know you can. So, Natalie, let's put in a constant disappointment. So, you know, I know it. Let's put you on pause for a little bit. And Natalie, can you bring in what's her name again? Sophie. Let's talk to Sophie.
[42:15]
Jake Johnson
Aaron, I'm put you in the waiting room.
[42:17]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
[42:17]
Jake Johnson
And then I'll bring you back. All right? Okay.
[42:24]
Gareth Reynolds
Hello? Hey, Sophie.
[42:33]
Jake Johnson
Oh, so she's here but not speaking.
[42:37]
Gareth Reynolds
Maybe she's muted.
[42:39]
Natalie
Sophie, it's okay.
[42:43]
Jake Johnson
Seems like an easy win. I mean, Aaron gets the tickets because she's the only one.
[42:48]
Natalie
So.
[42:52]
Gareth Reynolds
Sophie, are you there? All right, let's go back to Aaron. She's snapping.
[42:59]
Jake Johnson
Natalie, they're both here now. I mean, hey, Aaron. Yeah, we're not here.
[43:05]
Gareth Reynolds
And Sophie, we're here and she's here, but she's not saying anything. Does that sound like her?
[43:09]
Jake Johnson
Let me text her real quick. Hold on. Okay, she couldn't have heard, like, the singing part, right? Because I can see her hearing that hanging.
[43:14]
Natalie
No, she didn't hear anything. Okay, but she's doing this part where we're talking about how she didn't hear anything.
[43:19]
Jake Johnson
Okay, let me text you. Is this showing that she's still online? Yeah.
[43:24]
Natalie
Yes.
[43:25]
Jake Johnson
Okay.
[43:26]
Gareth Reynolds
And how bad did she not want to do this show, Aaron?
[43:28]
Jake Johnson
I mean, I'm not gonna lie. It took me, like, three days to convince her.
[43:32]
Gareth Reynolds
She might have changed her, but she.
[43:33]
Jake Johnson
Does like the podcast because I've listened to it with her a lot.
[43:36]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, so we'll see what happens. We are gonna get to the bottom of this one way or the other.
[43:40]
Judd Apatow
Seems like it's an Evita. Evita sing off.
[43:43]
Natalie
Right?
[43:44]
Judd Apatow
They both have to sing something from Evita.
[43:47]
Jake Johnson
Nice.
[43:48]
Gareth Reynolds
Judge just saw Evita and it was. It was a 10 out of 10.
[43:53]
Judd Apatow
It was pretty great.
[43:55]
Jake Johnson
Okay, so I. She just texted me back and said that she isn't hearing anything on her end.
[43:59]
Natalie
Oh, well, at least it's technical.
[44:01]
Judd Apatow
Yeah.
[44:06]
Jake Johnson
Or is her just saying that?
[44:08]
Gareth Reynolds
Well, we'll give it one more shot and call back.
[44:12]
Jake Johnson
Okay, let me try them.
[44:13]
Judd Apatow
So, like her to try to screw something up.
[44:16]
Jake Johnson
Yeah, well, you know, that's what I'm saying. That's just my life.
[44:21]
Natalie
It's just classic her and you guys.
[44:23]
Gareth Reynolds
So you bought these tickets, you broke up, you want them. You don't think she actually wants them, but she just won't give you the win. She doesn't.
[44:31]
Natalie
She want to go to every game together? Is that her pitch?
[44:34]
Jake Johnson
Well. And that's it. Well, and I was like, I don't. I mean, I haven't told her this yet, but, like, I'm kind of seeing someone else. I would like to bring that person to the games.
[44:42]
Natalie
So you just.
[44:43]
Gareth Reynolds
Aaron. Who dumped who?
[44:45]
Natalie
Aaron dumps over.
[44:47]
Jake Johnson
I honestly would say it's like, mutual, but, like, like 60, 40, me.
[44:52]
Gareth Reynolds
Is she dating anybody?
[44:54]
Jake Johnson
Maybe that's. Is she what?
[44:56]
Gareth Reynolds
Is she dating anybody?
[44:57]
Jake Johnson
Not that I'm aware, but we honestly haven't talked about any of that. Really? To be honest, when I asked her to be in the podcast, that was like, the first time we talked in, like, a couple weeks.
[45:05]
Gareth Reynolds
You're putting us in a real weird situation.
[45:13]
Judd Apatow
How long was the relationship?
[45:15]
Jake Johnson
We started doing, like, right. Like in 2021. About four years. Yeah, right after the pandemic.
[45:20]
Judd Apatow
That's a long one.
[45:21]
Gareth Reynolds
That's a real one.
[45:23]
Jake Johnson
Yeah.
[45:23]
Natalie
You got in a four year ding thing.
[45:27]
Jake Johnson
So.
[45:28]
Gareth Reynolds
All right, so we're gonna give her one More chance, Natalie. If she's not here, we're gonna blow it off and just pitch to Aaron and we're gonna go from there. What's our technical situation with old Sophie?
[45:41]
Jake Johnson
She hasn't called. I just texted and told her. I told her to hang up and call backs, but I've not heard back. So let's see.
[45:47]
Gareth Reynolds
All right, so, Aaron, then we're just gonna go to you a little bit, and we're gonna figure out. So we. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like we're going to be able to do this thing off because I don't know if she's coming on.
[45:56]
Jake Johnson
I mean, I never recorded me. I don't know.
[46:00]
Gareth Reynolds
No, no. I kind of would if it's not going to be kind of live.
[46:04]
Jake Johnson
I know. Yeah, yeah.
[46:06]
Gareth Reynolds
But there's other ways to try to get these tickets for. So one of the things we're learning about her is maybe she's not the most confrontational person in the world.
[46:14]
Jake Johnson
Not at all. No. And.
[46:18]
Gareth Reynolds
One of the things you could say about the tickets, and this could be either a creating trouble or creating a solution, is that you'd like to bring your new girlfriend. I will say this. If my wife and I split and we were doing 5050 on something, and I thought we were doing a little cute cat and mouse game, and then she's like, yeah, get on this podcast. And I'll be like, I will. And then she's like, I want to go to the games with Roger. I'm done playing a cute little game. It's over.
[46:47]
Jake Johnson
Yeah. Roger, right? Yeah. All right. Well, I don't know. Okay. So basically, I don't know, like, what to do, like, how to get her to agree to anything, because I feel like everything I put out there, she says no, but, like, if I can find a neutral thing with, like.
[47:01]
Gareth Reynolds
But she. But she's bailing from these moments.
[47:03]
Natalie
I would bribe her.
[47:04]
Jake Johnson
I know. Yeah, yeah.
[47:07]
Natalie
With something she's more interested in. You do it. You buy her out with another activity.
[47:11]
Jake Johnson
Okay. That's actually a really good idea.
[47:15]
Natalie
So it's like, if she doesn't like football, what does she like?
[47:17]
Jake Johnson
Yeah.
[47:17]
Natalie
What are her favorite things she like to go to shows.
[47:20]
Jake Johnson
Well, I mean, she's, like, very into. She has a lot of, like, expensive hobbies. So I guess I could, like, maybe give her money towards that.
[47:28]
Judd Apatow
Like, what?
[47:29]
Jake Johnson
I know she. Well, she loves, like, doing a lot of woodworking and stuff. That all that stuff is expensive. I know, like, some repairs to her car so I can, like, offer to Pay for some of that, like, as the amount of, like, equal to the amount of the tickets. I don't know.
[47:44]
Judd Apatow
But you give her, like, a big log to carve and she'll be happy.
[47:50]
Jake Johnson
And logs are not expensive, so there you go.
[47:52]
Gareth Reynolds
I think it's kind of bold that she said she was going to do it and then bailed at the last second.
[47:59]
Jake Johnson
I feel like that's kind of to get at me, but that's okay.
[48:03]
Gareth Reynolds
I think so, too.
[48:04]
Judd Apatow
Why do you get a ticket to see the Vikings?
[48:06]
Jake Johnson
And I. I just want to say she will listen to this so we can put her on blast. Like, well, Sophie, we know you backed out. It's okay.
[48:12]
Natalie
What you could say is that we've decided in your favor. Unless.
[48:16]
Gareth Reynolds
I got an idea. Let's do the sign off. Okay.
[48:21]
Natalie
This is for the print.
[48:23]
Gareth Reynolds
So really quick question, Aaron. Who owns the tickets right now? Whose property are they in?
[48:28]
Jake Johnson
That's the other thing. Technically, it's under my name. Like, I made the account and I. So it's technically under my name. So I'm good. I mean, I could just take them, but.
[48:36]
Gareth Reynolds
So they're essentially your tickets. Yes.
[48:40]
Jake Johnson
Yeah.
[48:40]
Gareth Reynolds
She believes she gets half of them.
[48:43]
Jake Johnson
Yes.
[48:44]
Gareth Reynolds
You don't want her to have half of them. You guys agreed to come on a podcast and figure it out. She has bailed on the podcast while we were about to do a sing off of.
[48:53]
Jake Johnson
Yes.
[48:54]
Gareth Reynolds
Don't Cry for Me, Argentina. Judd, Gareth, and I were going to be the judges. The winners of that were going to get the tickets. Correct.
[49:02]
Jake Johnson
Right.
[49:03]
Gareth Reynolds
If she don't show and you sing.
[49:07]
Jake Johnson
Then I get the tickets. Right?
[49:09]
Gareth Reynolds
Then you get the tickets. Give her half the money back.
[49:13]
Jake Johnson
Okay.
[49:13]
Judd Apatow
I look up the lyrics that Don't Cry for Me, Argentina on your phone and let's do it.
[49:17]
Jake Johnson
Yeah. I do not know that song at all. So they.
[49:21]
Gareth Reynolds
You know what I would do right now? Can you text her? We are doing a sing off for the tickets.
[49:27]
Jake Johnson
Okay.
[49:27]
Gareth Reynolds
Don't cry for me, Argentina. I'm gonna be starting singing in a minute. You're after. If you're not there, we're gonna have to just move on. And the tickets are gonna be mine, and I'll reimburse you. But if you come on and you beat me on the song fair and square, they're happy to give the tickets to you, and then you reimburse.
[49:45]
Jake Johnson
Oh, that's okay. That's fair.
[49:47]
Gareth Reynolds
But I will say I don't feel against Sophie. I wish she would come on.
[49:50]
Natalie
I do, too. Part of me just wants to Call her?
[49:52]
Jake Johnson
Yeah. I mean, yeah, I can give you her number if you want to call her, but, see, should I call her.
[49:59]
Natalie
And try to go to Jake?
[50:01]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah.
[50:02]
Natalie
What's her. What's her number? Aaron.
[50:13]
Gareth Reynolds
And then just put her close to your mic. Gareth.
[50:15]
Natalie
Hear that?
[50:16]
Jake Johnson
Okay, no. Okay, just hold on. I'm texting her right now. Hang on. What was the song again? I already forgot.
[50:27]
Judd Apatow
Don't Cry for Me, Argentina.
[50:29]
Jake Johnson
There we go. Don't.
[50:33]
Judd Apatow
Don't cry for me, Argentina the truth.
[50:37]
Jake Johnson
I feel bad to admit that I.
[50:39]
Gareth Reynolds
Don'T know that he's you.
[50:40]
Judd Apatow
Not through my wonders.
[50:49]
Gareth Reynolds
I think Chad might get the tickets.
[50:51]
Judd Apatow
I want those tickets.
[50:53]
Jake Johnson
I mean, you're better than I am, so. Okay, then I automatically.
[50:58]
Judd Apatow
Do you like Broadway music?
[51:02]
Jake Johnson
You know I do. I just haven't had the opportunity to see a lot of it. But what I have seen. I saw Moulin Rouge, which I loved. That was my favorite.
[51:13]
Gareth Reynolds
Man, I really feel like I'm inside this breakup.
[51:15]
Natalie
I know. It's like Sophie really screwed us.
[51:18]
Gareth Reynolds
What's that? I know.
[51:20]
Jake Johnson
I'm sorry.
[51:21]
Natalie
No, it's not why you moved on.
[51:23]
Gareth Reynolds
It just feels heavy.
[51:24]
Natalie
Right.
[51:25]
Jake Johnson
I think it was a technical issue. I think she could hear everything. Really? Yeah.
[51:31]
Gareth Reynolds
Me, too. Well, we've never had that technical issue. I think she just had the moment. This is heavy for her. So we're not against. So, Sophie, if you want to call in after, we'll give you your two sides of this follow up. If you're listening to this, we'll just talk to you without Aaron. Now, we're committed to it, but we did create a thing with the woman who owns the tickets. All you got to do is sing the song. It doesn't have to be great. It doesn't have to be the whole song. It could really just be the chorus. I would recommend doing some full commitment.
[52:00]
Natalie
Yeah.
[52:01]
Jake Johnson
Okay. I sent her a text. Who? Did you want me to send a screenshot?
[52:05]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, sure.
[52:06]
Jake Johnson
Who do I send it to?
[52:07]
Gareth Reynolds
Natalie.
[52:09]
Jake Johnson
Okay.
[52:15]
Gareth Reynolds
And then. How you feeling? You ready to let this rip?
[52:19]
Jake Johnson
Yeah. I mean, I honestly have no idea what this sounds like, but I have the lyrics in front of me, so.
[52:23]
Gareth Reynolds
Gareth.
[52:25]
Natalie
Yes, Jake?
[52:25]
Gareth Reynolds
You want to get pimped into something crazy for these tickets? You want to compete against her?
[52:30]
Natalie
Compete against Singh. And then when I moved to Detroit.
[52:35]
Gareth Reynolds
How about the. The Detroit Packers? You get. We buy that one from her. Then the Detroit Bears, we buy from her judge.
[52:43]
Jake Johnson
I mean, we're gonna be you, so it's fine.
[52:46]
Natalie
Wow.
[52:46]
Gareth Reynolds
Judd, you interested? So, yeah. I mean, they're Fine. I bet they're 150 tickets.
[52:57]
Natalie
I'll compete.
[52:59]
Gareth Reynolds
So what if we did, Aaron? How about we do this, actually? Aaron versus Gareth. If Gareth wins, we give the tickets to Sophie.
[53:07]
Jake Johnson
I mean, I'll. I'll agree to that.
[53:09]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
[53:09]
Natalie
I think you're gonna be okay.
[53:11]
Jake Johnson
I'm gonna lose, but it's fine. I'll agree with that.
[53:13]
Natalie
Now, this is a long song, so obviously.
[53:15]
Gareth Reynolds
No, no, we're just doing the chorus.
[53:16]
Natalie
Okay. You just want the chorus once.
[53:18]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. Well, Judd, you tell us. What's the best. What's the best thing they should do here? You just saw the play.
[53:26]
Judd Apatow
I think you do the last little run. There's like, the last verse, chorus, you know, like, where it erupts.
[53:33]
Natalie
I think that's good, because I'm definitely going to venture into. I'm not really sure how it goes territory. And that's where I think you're gonna see who's got the more creative juice for this project.
[53:43]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
[53:44]
Jake Johnson
Yeah. I can honestly say I don't think I've ever heard this song in my life. So this is gonna be interesting.
[53:51]
Natalie
I just remember the movie preview when Madonna did it. So I think I gotta leg up.
[53:56]
Gareth Reynolds
Aaron, are you ready to start?
[53:59]
Jake Johnson
Do I have to go first? I don't know what it sounds like. Okay, what part am I starting at?
[54:03]
Natalie
Don't. Right at the end there, where it's Don't Cry for Me, Argentina. And then the end of your audition will be that every word is true.
[54:10]
Gareth Reynolds
Actually. Gareth, you want to go first?
[54:12]
Natalie
Damn it.
[54:12]
Gareth Reynolds
Loosen it up. All right, now, but here's the thing, Aaron. And let's make the stakes real.
[54:18]
Jake Johnson
Yeah?
[54:19]
Gareth Reynolds
Now, Judd and I are going to be the only two voting if Gareth wins, are you going to give these tickets to Sophie?
[54:25]
Jake Johnson
I. I will accept those terms. I will.
[54:28]
Gareth Reynolds
You swear to God, I will send.
[54:30]
Jake Johnson
You guys pictures of her at the games if I lose.
[54:33]
Gareth Reynolds
And if you win, then. I do. Think now, if she's not doing it, Gareth is going to try his hardest. He can sing a little bit or. Judd, do you have any interest in saying it?
[54:43]
Judd Apatow
I just know I'll win.
[54:44]
Gareth Reynolds
And it's unfair because we did.
[54:46]
Jake Johnson
Yeah. I mean, that's putting me in advantage.
[54:48]
Judd Apatow
I have no idea how Garrett sings, so that's more interesting. I'm gonna crush it.
[54:53]
Natalie
What if Judd does it and I. If he gets it, I get the tickets.
[54:57]
Gareth Reynolds
Wait. How about we do this? Judd, do you mind giving it one belt out so they can hear how it's done? Because I don't think either of them know the song? Just the part you know, and that's all. They're then copying with full commitment.
[55:08]
Judd Apatow
Okay. Ready?
[55:10]
Gareth Reynolds
Yes. So, Aaron, pay attention. This is big. Now, this is real stacks.
[55:13]
Jake Johnson
I'm taking notes.
[55:14]
Judd Apatow
I'm taking notes. I'm just doing a quick lyric check here. It'll take me one second, and then you're gonna hear something fantastic. Here we go. Ready?
[55:27]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay.
[55:28]
Judd Apatow
This is it. Hold on. Don't cry for me I, Argentina the.
[55:45]
Gareth Reynolds
Truth is I never left you all.
[55:49]
Judd Apatow
Through my wild days My mad existence I kept my promise don't keep your.
[55:57]
Jake Johnson
Distance that already makes me super nervous, because you. I. Yeah.
[56:04]
Gareth Reynolds
I'm glad you ain't competing against him, kid.
[56:07]
Natalie
I liked it better.
[56:07]
Jake Johnson
I know. I would have lost. I would have given.
[56:09]
Gareth Reynolds
Now, Aaron, get your confidence up. This is for Detroit. Gareth does not know this either. This is a fucking playoff game here, kid.
[56:17]
Jake Johnson
We're even playing field. Okay? Yeah.
[56:19]
Gareth Reynolds
And Gareth is a shooter. He's going to go for it. So, Aaron, get your confidence ready. I do think you could win. We want you to win. But if Gareth takes it, we're voting for him. Gareth, take it away. Whenever you're ready.
[56:32]
Natalie
Don't cry for me, Argentina the truth is I never left you all through my wild days My mad existence I kept my promise don't keep your distance.
[56:55]
Judd Apatow
Beautiful. I got emotional there.
[56:59]
Gareth Reynolds
That was sincere. At first, I thought you were gonna do a goofy accent. You landed the plane.
[57:07]
Jake Johnson
Yeah. Now I'm kind of regretting going second.
[57:09]
Natalie
Just give me the ticket.
[57:10]
Jake Johnson
Okay.
[57:11]
Gareth Reynolds
Holy. Aaron, do you want any direction from Judd before you start? This is big.
[57:17]
Jake Johnson
I would love some direction.
[57:19]
Judd Apatow
I think that, you know, you're. You're trying to connect with your countrymen, and, you know you want to be there for them.
[57:27]
Jake Johnson
You know, you.
[57:28]
Judd Apatow
You are beloved by your people, and you. You love them, but you also don't take any shit. You mistreat them, and this is your. This is your moment. It's very emotional.
[57:42]
Gareth Reynolds
Wow.
[57:42]
Jake Johnson
All right. I'm gonna try to channel everything that you said, okay? All right. So just go whenever for Detroit lion tickets, okay? All right. Don't cry for me, Argentina the truth is I never left you all through my wild days My mad existence I kept my promise don't keep your distance have I said too much? There's nothing more I can think of to say to you but all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true that was probably totally not even the same melody, but it's fine.
[58:23]
Gareth Reynolds
This is hard, Aaron. Aaron, this is not what.
[58:27]
Jake Johnson
We can be honest. You can be honest. It's okay.
[58:30]
Natalie
This is like I said.
[58:34]
Gareth Reynolds
Judd, your thoughts?
[58:36]
Judd Apatow
Well, on one level, you could say it was an incredible show of bravery because of her lack of ability to sing.
[58:44]
Gareth Reynolds
Agreed.
[58:44]
Judd Apatow
And she knew that she had never sang in her entire life, but yet she did it. And she went farther than Gareth.
[58:51]
Gareth Reynolds
I agree.
[58:52]
Natalie
I didn't know that was to the judges. I did not know that was an option.
[58:55]
Jake Johnson
I did look up the lyrics, so I did an extra step.
[58:58]
Judd Apatow
Just the fact that she did it showed a commitment. And I think if you were to do it based on heart.
[59:05]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah, but Gary, too.
[59:08]
Judd Apatow
That's true.
[59:08]
Gareth Reynolds
He did not. He brought the heat.
[59:11]
Natalie
Thank you, Jay.
[59:11]
Jake Johnson
He did. I'll. I'll give it to him.
[59:13]
Gareth Reynolds
I'm gonna give you one more chance here because I truly have a terrible singing voice, and I have no rhythm, and I don't know the song.
[59:22]
Judd Apatow
I'm gonna.
[59:23]
Gareth Reynolds
I'm gonna let you go. You versus me.
[59:26]
Natalie
Yes.
[59:26]
Gareth Reynolds
But, Gareth, I really respected how you did it. Judd, I thought you were a great leader on this. But, Aaron, I will go heads up against you, and I'll try my hardest. But if I beat you, too, you don't deserve the tickets.
[59:38]
Natalie
So if you beat her, Sophie, who didn't call in, jerked us around, is going to get tickets to go see the team that she doesn't really.
[59:45]
Jake Johnson
I mean, I knew the risk calling in. It's fair. I'll take it.
[59:48]
Gareth Reynolds
But now, keep in mind, Aaron. Yeah, you should be able to beat me, but I'm not handing it to you.
[59:53]
Jake Johnson
I really. Did you hear what I just sang? I don't know.
[59:56]
Gareth Reynolds
Do you want to go first or second?
[59:58]
Jake Johnson
Wait, I'm going again. Okay, you go first.
[60:00]
Gareth Reynolds
You sure?
[60:02]
Jake Johnson
Yeah. You go first.
[60:03]
Gareth Reynolds
And then as soon as I'm done, don't even take a pause. Just start.
[60:07]
Jake Johnson
Okay.
[60:07]
Gareth Reynolds
And now Judd and Gareth can judge it.
[60:10]
Jake Johnson
Okay. Go.
[60:11]
Gareth Reynolds
Ready?
[60:13]
Jake Johnson
Go.
[60:14]
Gareth Reynolds
Don't cry for me, Argentina the truth is I never left you Although my wild days my mad existence I kept my promise don't keep your distance have I said too much? There's nothing more I can think to say to you but all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true.
[60:39]
Jake Johnson
Wait, one note real quick. I felt like there was some speaking in there over singing. Am I allowed to speak the lyrics?
[60:45]
Natalie
Aaron, you're not allowed to even talk to Jake. It's so unorthodox. Get into your audition.
[60:53]
Jake Johnson
I'm just saying, I. Okay. All right. All Right. Don't cry for me, Argentina the truth is I never left you all through my wild days My mad existence I kept my promise don't keep your distance have I said too much? There's nothing more I can think of to say to you but all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true Judd.
[61:21]
Gareth Reynolds
Honest opinion. Who wins their mirror?
[61:23]
Judd Apatow
She has some upspeak. She's doing some upspeak on Evita. So she goes. My mad existence. Like, she goes. She. She's like. She's going the other way with it. Like, don't cry for me I didn't see. No, the truth is I never left you. Wait, quick question.
[61:40]
Jake Johnson
As someone who's never heard the song before, was I even close to melody or not at all?
[61:43]
Judd Apatow
I think if you went. All through my wild days yeah. Existence yeah.
[61:49]
Jake Johnson
Okay.
[61:50]
Judd Apatow
My promise, like, don't up.
[61:54]
Natalie
Speak it.
[61:55]
Judd Apatow
Try one more time and see if that helps you.
[61:56]
Jake Johnson
Oh.
[61:57]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay. Go ahead.
[61:58]
Jake Johnson
Oh, God. Okay. Okay. Don't cry.
[62:03]
Judd Apatow
Really hit the Don't Cry for Me, like, loud.
[62:05]
Gareth Reynolds
Yes. That's.
[62:08]
Jake Johnson
A Louder Volume 2.
[62:11]
Natalie
Lions Stadium, for the tickets.
[62:13]
Judd Apatow
You can win it with passion right now.
[62:15]
Jake Johnson
Okay. All right. I'm trying to visualize. All right.
[62:19]
Gareth Reynolds
Don't.
[62:20]
Jake Johnson
For me, Argentina the truth is I never left you all through my wild days My mad existence Give the note.
[62:31]
Gareth Reynolds
Give the note. So all we've got to do is the. Don't cry for me, Argentina the truth is I never left you all through my wild days My mad exist I kept my promise to. Don't keep your distance. That's all we're doing.
[62:47]
Jake Johnson
Yeah. One singing of me is better.
[62:48]
Gareth Reynolds
So you want her to go up? Judd.
[62:51]
Judd Apatow
All through my wild is my mad existence I kept my promise don't keep your distance and I think you can win it if you just really sang don't cry for me, Argentina really, really loud. Just loud. And just stretch it.
[63:10]
Jake Johnson
Okay, so just that one line. Just really bring it.
[63:14]
Gareth Reynolds
No, but then finish the. Less of the thing. Just. He's saying you could win it there, but then take us home with the next lines because you could also lose it with those other lines.
[63:22]
Judd Apatow
That's true.
[63:22]
Jake Johnson
Well, that's okay. All right.
[63:25]
Gareth Reynolds
We're not giving it to you here, Aaron.
[63:27]
Jake Johnson
I know. I don't want it to be given to me. I agree. I. I appreciate the pressure.
[63:33]
Gareth Reynolds
Well, you think a Lions game is easy when they play the Bears?
[63:36]
Jake Johnson
No, no, it's. Well, when we play the Bears.
[63:38]
Gareth Reynolds
That's good. Keep going.
[63:40]
Natalie
It's an easy Win.
[63:41]
Jake Johnson
All right. Well, last year, 2. 0. All right. Don't cry for me. Argent. Oh, my laptop blacked out. The lyrics.
[63:54]
Judd Apatow
Don't cry.
[63:55]
Natalie
Okay, I'm doing.
[63:55]
Jake Johnson
I'm going too low. Okay. Don't cry for me, Argentina the truth is I never left you all through my wild, my mad existence I kept my promise don't keep your distance.
[64:14]
Judd Apatow
Very close. Very close. I thought that was a big advice. I have one idea that I think will help you, which is let's do it together.
[64:22]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah?
[64:22]
Jake Johnson
Me and you.
[64:23]
Judd Apatow
Here goes. And a one and a two and a three. Don't cry. No, no, stay with me. Like Simon and Garfunkel. Ready? 1, 2, 3. Don't. Don't cry for me.
[64:44]
Gareth Reynolds
That's a good idea, though. Aaron, can you do it with Judd? It's very close. Just on his three. You start at the same time as him, right?
[64:52]
Jake Johnson
Okay. Okay.
[64:53]
Gareth Reynolds
Gareth, you want to jump into.
[64:54]
Natalie
I don't hate it. Sure.
[64:55]
Jake Johnson
We could have, like, a whole chorus.
[64:56]
Gareth Reynolds
Okay, so then Judd's gonna lead it. Aaron, you come in second. Gareth and I will find our way in, but you're coming in second.
[65:03]
Judd Apatow
Here we go. And I'm plowing, so just, you know, catch up. One, two, three. Don't cry.
[65:19]
Gareth Reynolds
You have to say the same lines as it. Don't start a beat after. Just catch up.
[65:24]
Natalie
It's not a round.
[65:25]
Jake Johnson
I told you guys. On a constant discipline.
[65:28]
Gareth Reynolds
Listen, Aaron, he's gonna say, don't cry for me. Just say Argentina with him. Don't start with.
[65:33]
Jake Johnson
So don't even. Don't even start till Argentina.
[65:35]
Gareth Reynolds
No, no, let's just. Yeah, just stay.
[65:38]
Natalie
Blend in with Judd.
[65:40]
Judd Apatow
Here we go. One, two, three. Don't cry for. She's gone. You just lost. You just lost.
[65:53]
Jake Johnson
I'm sorry.
[65:54]
Judd Apatow
You just lost.
[65:55]
Jake Johnson
I'm so sorry. That was.
[65:57]
Gareth Reynolds
I think you might have to lose the ticket.
[65:59]
Natalie
I cannot believe that you have entered a competition where there's no one to compete with, and you might walk away with nothing.
[66:06]
Judd Apatow
And you have a disappointment. You've been a disappointment.
[66:08]
Jake Johnson
Yeah. That's just my life. You know, it's.
[66:11]
Gareth Reynolds
Aaron, we can't end with you not winning, because I don't even believe she wants the tickets. I think you're the only person who actually. I think she's just being mean. She said she was coming on this call just to be mean. She said she wants him just to be mean. You have to win this. Give us one.
[66:29]
Jake Johnson
I don't sing.
[66:30]
Gareth Reynolds
All right, we have to get out of here. But say this. Give us One with a lot of heart. Don't cry for me, Argentina.
[66:38]
Jake Johnson
Just that line.
[66:39]
Gareth Reynolds
Yes.
[66:41]
Jake Johnson
Okay. All right. Manifesting. Okay. Don't cry for me, Argentina. There you go. Great.
[66:50]
Natalie
You're going to the Lions game. Go get a four by four and put it on Sophie's lawn.
[66:54]
Gareth Reynolds
Do we all agree that that is good enough?
[66:57]
Judd Apatow
That was good. That was a big.
[66:58]
Jake Johnson
A big change.
[66:59]
Gareth Reynolds
That's a big change. The last one.
[67:01]
Natalie
Now, we could have got her there.
[67:03]
Gareth Reynolds
I.
[67:03]
Natalie
Real quick. I mean, real quick.
[67:04]
Jake Johnson
Can I, like, sign up for both local lessons? Like, I mean, this is great.
[67:09]
Gareth Reynolds
Yeah. What were you gonna say? Gareth?
[67:12]
Natalie
I just want to. Real quick, before we drop everything, I would love to hear Judd's thoughts on your rendition, Jake, because we kind of jumped over it. We never really talked about your version.
[67:21]
Judd Apatow
It had like a William Shatner's nephew kind of vibe.
[67:27]
Gareth Reynolds
I felt that in the middle of it.
[67:28]
Judd Apatow
Yeah.
[67:29]
Gareth Reynolds
I realized I was talking.
[67:30]
Jake Johnson
There was. I. Well, there was some speaking. So I was like, okay.
[67:33]
Gareth Reynolds
That wasn't a choice. When I started, I thought, where is the don't cry for me, Argentina? And then I realized I started at a weird spot. Never got the chorus. Just a bunch of lines I'd never seen before in my life. Yeah. Hey, Aaron, as of now, you have won. Jud, thank you for the time.
[67:51]
Natalie
Thank you, Josh.
[67:52]
Gareth Reynolds
Aaron, if you talk to Sophie, will you have her call in? Because I do think we could bring her back and we have some time before the season starts.
[67:59]
Jake Johnson
I think if I get on her enough, she'll do it. Yeah.
[68:01]
Gareth Reynolds
Let's do a follow up with her and make sure she approves of this and she will have a chance to sing if she comes on. Judd, Gareth and I are huge fans. We really appreciate the time. Thank you.
[68:11]
Judd Apatow
I am a fan.
[68:13]
Gareth Reynolds
All right. Thank you, guys. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod Gmail.com. and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our patreon@patreon.com hereto help pod to see our entire catalog.
[68:37]
Judd Apatow
We're here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller.
[68:48]
Natalie
Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike. Animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.
[69:08]
Jake Johnson
All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com heretohelpod hey, I'm Gareth.
[69:20]
Natalie
Reynolds and I have a new podcast on Headgum called Next we have Now. This show is for people with short attention spans, which is everyone. I mean, you're probably trying to skip this ad right now, but don't because you now legally have to listen to the show. That's how Law Works Works. Next we have is very simple. Each episode has three short segments. For instance, Lisa Gilroy and I write insane revenge Yelp reviews for callers who had bad experiences with a business. The Doughboys play a game called Meal or no Meal and Steph, Tola and I go head to head on a thought provoking game called Guess that Sound. The show is as dumb as it sounds and we probably have more fun than we should, but it's a great time and you should listen or watch new episodes of Next we have every Thursday on YouTube or your favorite podcast, Apple.