We're Here to Help

Episode 203: Lotta Cheese in London & Selling a Lemon
Release Date: September 1, 2025
Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Key Callers: Freddie (London), Celia

Episode Overview

This episode blends classic “We’re Here to Help” energy: a balance of goofy banter, meandering bits, and earnest (if unconventional) advice. Jake and Gareth handle two main calls—one from Freddie in London, seeking guidance on how to tell his parents about an adult circumcision, and another from Celia, the designated “social glue” at her company, who’s worried about her impending farewell going uncelebrated. There’s also a bonus follow-up from Freddie, a rare "full-circle" closure for one of the podcast’s more memorable advice arcs. Along the way: Cockney slang, food jokes, riffing about cheese, and an extended analogy about selling lemons (used cars) that embodies the show’s unique tone—equal parts warmth, absurdity, and self-sabotaging honesty.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Successful Past Advice: The Dummy for Dogs Experiment

(01:19–07:42)

• Jake recounts trying the show’s old advice in real life to help his brother’s neurotic, anxious dog ("Po").
• Together with his brother, they dressed up a stuffed dummy ("Jeremy") in a Clippers sweater and sat it by the dog for comfort, drawing from a previous on-show pitch.
• Over time, Po became attached to "Jeremy," at points mistakenly treating the dummy like a real person (and, eventually, as a humpable companion).
• They also experimented with “treats in the pocket” and discussed the future possibility of looping voice recordings to soothe pets.
• Notable Quote:
  • Jake: "They started to call him Cheramy. And then over the course of time, Jeremy developed a bit of a drinking issue." (03:06)

Takeaway: The “dummy in the chair” gambit kind of works, especially as a transitional aid for anxious pets, though success is variable.

2. Listener Letter: Podcast as Birth Companion

(08:10–12:25)

• Jake and Gareth read a heartfelt letter from a listener, Michael, who credits the show with helping his wife through a frightening C-section childbirth.
• The wife tuned in to “We’re Here to Help” during the procedure to drown out medical anxiety, and Jake and Gareth embrace a tongue-in-cheek sense of accomplishment for “delivering a baby” by proxy.
• Notable Quote:
  • Michael (read by Gareth): “She asked if she could have headphones in so she wouldn’t hear the medical talk… what she wanted to listen to was the most recent episode of ‘We’re Here to Help.’” (10:32)

3. Main Call #1: Freddie’s Foreskin Dilemma – Circumcision at 35

(18:00–53:00)

Freddie’s Context:

• Freddie, 35, from southeast London, and his wife are trying for a baby. He discovers — due to pain during unprotected sex — that he needs a circumcision, owing to a lifelong issue with a tight foreskin.
• His main challenge: how (or whether) to tell his parents about the surgery, especially since he hasn’t told them they’re trying to have children.

Notable Exchange & Cockney Bit:

• The segment is peppered with Cockney slang, British banter, and comedic role-playing as Jake and Gareth attempt (and fail) to “out-Cockney” each other.
  • Gareth: "A lot of cheese in London." (28:25)

Advice Evolution:

• Initial Ideas:
  • Should Freddie tell his parents at all?
  • Could he engineer a casual setup (e.g., Sunday lunch with mates who’ve had similar surgeries, planting the seed via “normalized” pub talk)?
• Refinement:
  • Focused on a private, matter-of-fact conversation with his dad—since his dad is already circumcised, and Freddie remembers this from childhood.
  • Rehearsed the likely conversation (“Did you ever have this as a kid / is this hereditary?”), using roleplay to give Freddie confidence.
• Comic Relief:
  • “Should I just ask my dad, did you ever have problems with your Hampton Wick?” (Gareth, 35:14)
• Consensus:
  • The cleanest route: a direct, non-dramatic 1:1 chat with Dad, omitting graphic detail and leaving mum out of it for now.
  • “I think you do it that way. I think that’s the straightest route.” (Jake, 52:09)

4. Main Call #2: Celia—How to Get Your Own Goodbye Party

(54:07–82:45)

Celia’s Situation:

• She’s been the “social facilitator” at her remote job for three years, organizing all team celebrations.
• She’s leaving for grad school and worries no one will step up to celebrate her—in part because she’s always been the one keeping that spark alive, and her colleagues are introverted programmers.
• The workplace is remote; her team is around 8 people; she's closest with her boss through a family connection (her sister-in-law is best friends with the boss's wife).

Solutions & Pitches:

• Jake’s Angle:

  • Use her sister-in-law as a discreet intermediary to “plant the seed” for a celebration through the boss.
    • “Trust and the path shall present itself.” (Jake, 60:29)
  • Alternatively, just “order yourself a goodbye card/gift" and thank them for it—kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

• Gareth’s Approach:

  • Suggest a misdirection: tell her boss she "heard rumors" of a surprise party and would appreciate being kept in the loop ("I don’t love surprises"), thus nudging him to organize an event without outright asking.
  • If all else fails, send an anonymous “Evite” or card from a made-up person, inviting team members to RSVP for Celia’s going-away.
    • “Write an anonymous email from a fake account that goes to everybody saying RSVP for her going away party.” (Gareth, 76:06)

• Discussion of the 'Self-Made Party':

  • They debate the weirdness/agency of organizing your own sendoff.
  • “What you’re doing is card fishing, and it’s fine.” (Jake, 80:20)

Resolution:

• Celia leans toward using her sister-in-law as a behind-the-scenes suggestion engine, combining stealth and familial connection.
• She finds the idea of sowing her own celebration a funny story to tell later—it's "on brand" for her.
• The hosts liken the advice session to selling a "lemon" (used car)—if you’re happy with the plan, you’ve made the deal.

5. Freddie Follow-Up: Circumcision, Success, and Support

(83:15–95:54)

• Freddie returns to report back on his journey.
• He had the initially tough—but ultimately successful—conversation with his dad, who offered support and shared his own childhood experience (“You might look at yourself a bit differently, which I thought was a very sweet response.” Freddie, 86:53).
• Meanwhile, his wife is now pregnant—a bell-ringing “win” for the whole arc.
• Freddie hasn’t yet had the circumcision (NHS waiting list) but intends to proceed for long-term health.
• Coda: The hosts playfully push for Freddie (and other male listeners) to send the show voice memos of waxing experiences, in the spirit of full (and funny) disclosure.
• Notable Quote:
  • Gareth: “If you have a son, you guys can do it together.” (87:43)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Put Jeremy right next to him, ham on the face, treats in the pocket…” (Gareth, 05:22)
• “England doesn’t circumcise… so do all English men have a hard time if they don’t have a condom on?” (Gareth, 27:37)
• “A lot of cheese in London.” (Gareth, 28:25)
• “My dream is to be Cockney. Because they speak in a weird code around coppers. Freddy. It’s the coolest thing on planet Earth.” (Gareth, 40:39)
• “What you’re doing is card fishing, and it’s fine.” (Jake, 80:20)
• “I think if you want to have that done, have it done. You know, just up to you. It’s yours.” (Jake as Freddie’s Dad, 48:44)
• “We were growing cheesier than a foreskin, Jake.” (Gareth, 91:55)
• “If you have a son, you guys can do it together.” (Gareth, 87:43)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:19 – Testing out past dog advice (Jeremy the dummy)
• 08:10 – “Podcast as birth companion” listener letter
• 18:00 – Freddie joins with his circumcision conundrum
• 28:25 – “A lot of cheese in London” (Cockney joke/cheese riff)
• 53:55 – Celia’s goodbye party dilemma
• 60:29 – “Trust and the path shall present itself” (connecting advice)
• 76:06 – Anonymous Evite/RSVP plot suggestion
• 83:15 – Freddie’s follow up (circumcision talk with Dad, wife is pregnant)
• 91:55 – “We were growing cheesier than a foreskin, Jake.” (comic recap)
• 94:00 – Freddie agrees to send follow-up audio after surgery

Tone & Style

As ever, the episode is buoyant, irreverent, and affectionate—filled with bits, side talk, and lived-in rapport. Jake and Gareth’s humor is self-effacing (“two idiots try real hard”), and their advice mixes practicality with theater. They balance real empathy for their callers, a willingness to play, and the acceptance that sometimes you have to manufacture your own happy ending—even if that means anonymously organizing your own goodbye.

Final Takeaways

• Sometimes the best advice is to take charge of your own predicament—cleverly or not.
• Vulnerable subjects (like adult circumcision) become easier to handle with humor, straightforwardness, and a supportive audience.
• Listeners’ lives (and major moments) are genuinely affected by the show—even if only by giving someone a laugh in a hospital or a little more courage to broach a tough subject.
• You can always make your own celebration (or “potluck” goodbye), but a little social engineering doesn’t hurt.
• There is, apparently, a lot of cheese in London—and not all problems require a parental announcement.

For listeners new and old, Episode 203 is a showcase of “We’re Here to Help’s” best qualities: supportive, ridiculous, and surprisingly heartfelt.