We're Here to Help

Episode 207: Laughing Emoji Laughing Emoji Laughing Emoji
September 15, 2025
Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Special Guest: Dan Johnson
Key Callers: Paige (van update), Chrissy/Christy (Canadian neighbor dilemma)

Episode Overview

This episode of We're Here to Help features two main arcs:

1. A lighthearted, celebratory follow-up with Paige and Jake's brother Dan about the now-famed “We’re Here to Help” van, its adventures, and a surprise proposal.
2. An in-depth, hilarious, and ultimately successful coaching session with Canadian caller “Chrissy/Christy,” who seeks advice on tactfully addressing her retired neighbor’s penchant for topless sex worker visitors—a situation complicated by her inquisitive young children and small-town living.

Throughout, the episode is peppered with the hosts’ signature self-deprecating humor, punchy improv bits, and a recurring riff on emoji and passive-aggressive neighborly texting.

1. Paige, Dan, and the Journey of the "We're Here to Help" Van

[04:01–16:40]

Key Points

• Paige returns to give an update on the van, now wrapped in the show’s colorful logo after the hosts’ prior advice to combat its “creepy plumber van” energy.
• The van, driven daily by Paige’s boyfriend Connor, now garners local fan encounters.
• Paige and Dan (Jake’s brother) recount a key appearance at Ravinia, a prominent music venue and festival, culminating in a “family gathering” by the van at a Maren Morris concert.
  • Notable moment: Dan, in true character, climbs onto the van for “action shots,” declares it “the best vehicle in the greater Chicagoland region” ([06:09]).
• The segment crescendos with the surprise reveal: Connor proposed to Paige the day after Ravinia.
  • The hosts riff about Dan nearly spoiling the engagement by repeatedly alluding to marriage before the proposal, then twice offering to officiate their wedding—potentially on the van roof ([13:03]).
  • Extended bits about best man (or “best van”) duties, the storied “vest,” and Dan’s seriousness as an officiant (“He does take it very seriously. Yes. It will be way more sincere than you expect. He will be as weird as ever at the party after.” – Jake, [13:27]).
  • Visual hijinks: Dan’s overzealous photo ops atop the van, amidst a crowd including a bachelorette party ([10:06]).

Notable Quotes

• Dan: “It might be the best vehicle in the greater Chicagoland region at this point.” ([06:10])
• Paige (on Dan): “Now that I’ve met him, I get it.” ([06:33])
• Jake: “If my brother officiates your wedding, I would love to come.” ([13:09])
• Dan: “The honor cannot be beaten. I am a man of God, and I would love nothing more than to unite you two in holy matrimony—on top of the van.” ([13:03]–[13:05])

2. Chrissy’s Dilemma: My Neighbor, The Daytime Sex Worker Enthusiast

[22:00–70:51]

Background

“Chrissy” (later recapping as “Christy”) is a mother of two (ages 3 and 5), living in a small rural town on Vancouver Island. Her neighbor—a single, senior gentleman—regularly hires local “ladies of the day” who congregate, sometimes topless, on his deck. The real challenge: Chrissy’s young children are fascinated—offering flowers, asking questions about “boo-boos” (mispronounced “boobies”)—and there’s worry about safety after some sketchy, possibly related thefts in the area.

Main Talking Points

2.1. Setting the Scene and Initial Wild Stories

[22:12–34:57]

• Chrissy describes her neighbor’s habits: frequent day visits from “small town” sex workers, sometimes more than one at once (notably, during power outages), with “boobs out” on the adjacent deck ([23:29–24:06]).
  • Jake and Gareth riff on the oddity of daytime, small-town escorts and the “rough” aesthetic (“they look like they’ve been maybe working, you know, 40, 50 years doing this.” – Chrissy, [29:49])
  • Initial incident: Chrissy once filmed a suspicious “visitor” due to theft fears, accidentally texting the neighbor, sparking a bizarre but good-humored emoji-filled exchange.

Notable Bit:

Jake and Gareth break down the surrealism of the neighbor’s response, who thanks Chrissy for scaring away his “friend” and remains unbothered by the illicit context, sending back a string of “laughing/crying emojis.” ([27:17–27:42])

2.2. Addressing the Kids and the Absurdity of the Situation

[34:57–44:30]

• Chrissy’s core question: How to keep the kids from getting overly familiar with the topless guests, and what to tell them?
• The hosts’ advice veers between comedic and earnest:
  • Jake: “Your kids shouldn’t be asking them questions and bringing them flowers. This is a get-away-from-me situation…” ([30:44])
  • Both agree: it’s time for a friendly but direct neighborly message.
• The trio workshop the language, aiming for comedic but clear boundaries (“Could you do me a neighborly favor and ask the hookers to stay inside your house if they’re underdressed? That would be very helpful for me.” – Jake, [34:57])
• Extended riff: How many laughing face emojis are too many—or not enough—to soften an awkward message? ([43:49])

2.3. The Real-Time Message Draft and Send

[44:30–45:28]

• In a truly meta moment, Chrissy opens Facebook Messenger and, with the hosts’ live input, crafts and sends a carefully worded note:
  • “But my kids are starting to ask a lot of questions that I frankly don’t have the answers for 😂😂😂😂😂. For example, my son is commenting about boobies that he sees bare on your patio from our patio…” ([44:30])

2.4. The Resolution & Neighbor’s Response

[45:28–70:51]

• Steve (the neighbor) replies quickly—first with a laugh react, and then, in classic small-town style, feigns ignorance about any toplessness: “As far as naked ladies on my deck, I really can’t ever remember any topless chicks in my backyard. [...] But I’ll make sure their tops stay on. 😂😂🤷‍♀️” ([46:06–47:00]).
• Chrissy and the hosts analyze the continued passive-aggressive layers—everyone’s using emojis to take the edge off very direct talk.
  • The hosts note this is peak Canadian conflict avoidance meets emoji arsenal.

Follow-Up & Bell Ring Moment

• Three days after the call, there’s a power outage. Steve brings in his friends… but keeps them inside and closes the balcony door ([66:16–66:31]).
• Later, they have a slightly awkward face-to-face (“Thankfully, he didn’t bring up the hookers.” – Chrissy, [66:54]), and Steve tries to distract from the issue by gossiping about another neighbor's alleged money laundering.
• The hosts officially call this a win, a “bell ring” moment (show’s tradition for successful resolutions), since Chrissy’s core request is achieved—no more topless guests in full view. ([66:31–68:09])

3. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Humor is rapid-fire throughout, but a few lines stand out:

• Chrissy (on neighbor’s guests): “They look like they’ve been maybe working, you know, 40, 50 years doing this.” ([29:49])
• Jake: “Your kids shouldn’t be asking them questions and bringing them flowers.” ([30:44])
• Jake (on emojification): “LOL. Can you keep the neighborhood a little safer? LOL. See you around. Heart emoji.” ([35:33])
• Gareth (on messaging): “The amount of cry-laughing emojis... it’s insane. This conversation in any regular person be like, ‘Hey, why don’t you guys just have an honest conversation?’” ([56:02])
• Jake (after follow-up): “He’s keeping the hookers inside. I think we’re on a bell ring.” ([66:31])
• Chrissy: “I was ready to parmesan that deck.” ([67:34])
• Gareth: “How concerned should I be? Laughing emoji. She seems a little elderly. Question mark.” ([53:10])
• Chrissy: “They’re gonna be inside in their warmer habitat.” ([69:00])

4. Timestamps for Key Segments

• [04:01] Paige re-intro, van update, meet Dan Johnson
• [06:36] Paige gets invited to bring van to Ravinia
• [08:03] Proposal story revealed
• [13:03] Dan’s officiant offers; “on top of the van” riff
• [16:40] Segment transition; main caller “Chrissy” (“Christy”) intro
• [22:12] Chrissy details neighbor’s sex worker visits
• [23:29] “Ladies of the day” sunbathing topless; impact on curious kids
• [29:49] “Small town escort” banter
• [34:57] Decision to message neighbor; emoji strategy
• [44:30] The message is sent live
• [46:06–47:00] Neighbor’s reply (“never topless chicks in backyard… but I’ll make sure their tops stay on 😂😂🤷‍♀️”)
• [66:16] Power outage test—neighbor keeps friends indoors
• [68:09] Official bell ring: “I feel it’s a win.”
• [69:00] Chrissy: “They’re gonna be inside in their warmer habitat.”

5. Takeaways & Tone

• Tone: Fast, irreverent, improvisational—a mix of heartfelt encouragement and comedy of the awkward.
• Takeaway Lessons:
  • Clear, direct communication (even when buffered by 12 laughing emojis) often works, even in the weirdest neighbor situations.
  • Small town life + big personalities = big stories.
  • The We're Here to Help approach isn’t about perfect advice, but about camaraderie and creative problem-solving—with a comedic twist.
• Hosts’ Role: Jake and Gareth are guide/facilitators, supportive but always ready to chase a tangent or milk an over-the-top visual. Dan Johnson adds fraternal chaos, whether climbing vans or offering to marry strangers.
• Pop Culture Tie-In: Frequent references to TV shows (“My Strange Addiction”), light meta-commentary on the medium itself, and a running gag on emojis in digital-age communication.

6. Conclusion

This episode blends palpable humanity, mobius-loop comedic bits, and genuine advice in equal measure. Whether you want the saga of a community van that helps (sort of) or a masterclass in how to text your neighbor about his topless guests, We're Here to Help delivers—a reminder that sometimes, the best you can do is add five laugh-cry emojis and hope your neighbor keeps his parties inside.

For future topics or to be on the show, email helpfulpod@gmail.com.