213: Trash Hole Shark & Wrestling Gators (with Andy Roddick)

Summary

We're Here to Help: Episode 213

Trash Hole Shark & Wrestling Gators (with Andy Roddick)
October 1, 2025 | Headgum

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Episode Overview

Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds are joined by tennis legend Andy Roddick and recurring guest Steve Berg for an irreverent, advice-filled episode. The gang tackles two main listener calls: one about a competitive approach to taking out the trash called "Trash Hole," and another on how to find friends (and maybe more) as a sober, non-athletic participant in a small-town run club. As always, their advice is part empathetic, part off-the-wall, and full of signature banter.

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Meet the Crew and Guest

• Hosts: Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds
• Guests:
  • Andy Roddick (tennis legend, host of the Serve podcast)
  • Steve Berg (actor and frequent contributor)

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Banter: Acting, Pickleball, and Tennis [01:09–10:54]

Highlights:

• Jake and Andy talk about acting together on "Dink":
  • Jake confesses his anxiety playing sports in front of extras on set.
    • “I look at that pickleball and I’m like, I don’t want to be hitting right now. I hate this.” (Jake, 02:15)
  • Andy reflects on nerves as a pro athlete:
    • “It’s basically just scary because of consequence...I was scared because I’m not as good as the person I’m trying to beat today.” (Andy, 03:19)
• Fun discussion on the importance of legs in tennis, led by Brad Gilbert’s leg obsession:
  • “Before you knew it, I was like looking at every man’s legs and being like, now that guy’s got some powerful legs.” (Jake, 05:24)
• Stories about Brad Gilbert’s texting style:
  • “Like 70/30 on spelling any word correct, by the way.” (Andy, 06:46)

Memorable Quotes:

• “You’re throwing a goddamn snowflake.” (Andy, 24:28)
• “My favorite part about the Gilbert text is the amount of just unnecessary emoji after emoji…” (Jake, 07:17)

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2. Advice Call #1: Nadine—Trash Hole Shark [14:44–39:19]

Caller: Nadine, 32, from Oakland (calling from Ibiza)

Issue:
She invented a game called "Trash Hole"—tossing her trash bags off her home landing into the trash bin below. It was fun until a few misses led to her fiancé banning the game. She wants advice on getting her groove—and "Trash Hole" privileges—back.

Key Discussion & Advice:

• Jake reframes the call as being about “the yips” (loss of a skill due to nerves):
  • “Now, I think what this call’s really about is the yips. Nadine, have you ever heard of the yips?” (Jake, 18:42)
• Andy and Steve dig into “training” and practice:
  • “Even Michael Jordan practiced free throws. Are you opposed to like, going out there and, like, training?” (Steve, 22:07)
  • “Trash hole montage.” (Andy, 22:16)
• The crew brainstorms bet-based solutions:
  • “Listen, you don’t like touching the bags. I don’t like not pin trash hole. Let’s meet in the middle. Let’s both play Trash Hole. Winner stays on.” (Andy, 25:27)
  • “What if you challenged your fiancé to a round of Trash Hole with real fun stakes?” (Jake, 25:04)
• Engineering the practice routine:
  • “Grab a black garbage bag that are stronger and…find anything that weighs the same…then start moving your target…” (Jake, 28:43)
  • “Get the terms of the bet while he thinks you suck at this.” (Andy, 29:58)
• On authentic engagement:
  • “You don’t have the yips because there’s no way someone would say, let’s gamble on your problem. And you go, yeah, that sounds great.” (Andy, 27:10)

Action Plan Recap [31:09–39:19]:

• Write up a contract with specific terms: trash in = reward; trash miss = Nadine cleans up.
• Film practice montages and the competition.
• Treat it as a hobby: get a "Trash Hole" jersey, review tape, engineer practice bags, have fun.

Notable Exchange:

• Jake (re: Nadine practicing):
  • “Turn it into a Rocky montage.” [29:42]
• Andy: “We’re gonna get you to be the number one Trash Hole in Oakland.” [38:34]

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3. Advice Call #2: “Anonymous"—Sober at Loggers & Joggers [39:48–61:34]

Caller: 26, recently sober, recently single, living in a small town.

Issue:
Wants to meet friends (and maybe date), but the local brewery’s run club (“Loggers & Joggers”) involves running and drinking, neither of which appeal to him. How to participate and fit in?

Key Discussion & Advice:

• The crew explores angles for participating without running or drinking:
  • Andy: “You organize the run club. You are responsible...You get to help with all the things.” [41:24]
  • Jake: Suggests faking a mild injury to explain non-participation: “I’m hurt, but I want to power through a little with you. You know how much credit you would get for running one mile with a wrap on your ankle?” [45:06]
• Calling out comedic extremes:
  • Jake: “I think a cast is fun. I think it’s way too much commitment.” [46:24]
  • Andy (when finding out caller is sober): “You don’t want to jog or drink. And Loggers and Joggers. This is madness.” [48:08]
• A genuine conversation about loneliness, community, and authenticity:
  • Jake: “The game of trying to socialize as a single 26-year-old while sober is a fucking nightmare.” [49:09]
• Proposal: become the group’s unofficial caterer (craft wings/pigs in a blanket/gator dogs) as a unique way to build rapport and community:
  • “If you brought gator dogs, dude, shoot… that’s like making an old war buddy in five minutes.” (Steve, 52:50)
• Execution plan:
  • Attend, attempt a jog, mildly "injure" yourself in real time (“tweak the ankle”), become the cheerleader/snack-bringer, and build friendships from there.
• Andy warns on overdoing fake injuries:
  • “Don’t undersell the pain...you’re understated from there on out, but it’s a big yell understated.” [59:34]

Notable Quotes:

• “You better make enough gator dogs, man.” (Andy, 57:46)
• “If two guys both have scooters and they’re handing me gator dogs…and they didn’t run—not my friends.” (Jake, 55:41)
• “What were you doing? Catching the gator.” (Jake, 56:04)

Outcome:

Caller commits to trying the show’s approach—joining, faking an injury during the run, and bringing special food to become the group’s social glue.

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Memorable Moments & Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “You’re throwing a goddamn snowflake.” — Andy (24:28)
• “Turn it into a Rocky montage.” — Jake (29:42)
• “Get the terms of the bet while he thinks you suck at this.” — Andy (29:58)
• “You don’t have the yips because there’s no way someone would say, let’s gamble on your problem. And you go, yeah, that sounds great.” — Andy (27:10)
• “The game of trying to socialize as a single 26-year-old while sober is a fucking nightmare.” — Jake (49:09)
• “You better make enough gator dogs, man.” — Andy (57:46)
• “If two guys both have scooters and they’re handing me gator dogs…and they didn’t run—not my friends.” — Jake (55:41)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:09–10:54] — Actor-athlete banter, pickleball, and tennis philosophy
• [14:44–39:19] — Caller: Nadine (“Trash Hole Shark”) — practice, bets, and mission to reclaim her title
• [39:48–61:34] — Caller: “Anonymous” (Run Club) — navigating social spaces as sober and non-athletic, community creativity

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Episode Tone and Style

• Playful, irreverent, comedic, and supportive.
• The hosts and guests riff, tease, but also deliver surprisingly practical, empathetic advice—always prioritizing the caller's agency and fun.
• The group’s style leans heavily into bits, but lands on genuine warmth and camaraderie.

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Summary

This episode delivers the quintessential "We're Here to Help" experience: comedic problem-solving from a panel who takes the caller’s perspective, not themselves, too seriously. Whether it’s inventing “trash hole” sports contracts or hacking small-town social circles with gator dogs, the hosts and Andy Roddick model the spirit of supportive, outside-the-box friendship—with plenty of quotable nonsense along the way.

Transcript

[A]

This is a headgun podcast.

[B]

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[A]

And we are back and officially starting and we got a special one today. First of all, I brought Steve Berg with because Andy, he's being cool about it, but he's geeking out right now.

[C]

He is not geeking out more than I am. I listen to this show all the time. I'm the crazy person who texts Jake and he's like, just fuck off.

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have the great Andy Roddick with us. Andy and I did the movie Dink together and that was, by the way, you are so funny in it, man.

[C]

Should we talk about the part where I'm the former athlete and I got laid up and couldn't walk one morning from playing pickleball and you were like Cal Ripken.

[A]

No, well, hold on. Let's. Let's live in reality. Half the time there was a guy who looked just like me who was playing.

[C]

That is true. You got. The outfits were just.

[A]

And the breaks helped a lot.

[C]

The breaks. I. I don't know you.

[A]

You.

[C]

I'm just telling you, I don't. Don't undersell your. Just. You're just physicality, Jake. It was impressive, by the way.

[A]

It was at least from my end of was really hard and truly stressful playing in front of those extras. I don't know if you felt any of it because you've done this a bigger stage, but I look at that pickleball and I'm like, I don't want to be hitting right now. I hate this.

[C]

You were there, you were nervous in front of the P.E. people that were scripted to cheer for you no matter what you did.

[A]

Because guess what? If I keep hitting it into the net, all of a sudden the director is going to start Getting mad. Everyone's going to get mad. Every time. I was like, oh, tennis and pickleball. I was like, this is a different level of pressure, man. I don't like this.

[C]

He did. And the thing is, I think you feel the stresses when it's, like, your thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You probably feel stresses that other people don't when they're just kind of along for the ride.

[A]

Yeah, that makes sense. How stressful. I know this is a stupid question I asked you a little bit while we were together just because I love talking to athletes because it's similar to our game, but very different. How scary was, like, playing at the US Open, like, how aware were you mentally where you're like, this serve really matters?

[C]

Yeah, I don't, I mean, it's scary, but it's basically just scary because of consequence. Right. Like, I have, I've talked to people on our podcast, you know, where we just nerd out on tennis stuff, who are like, great players, like, win multiple Slams, and they go, I got scared because I didn't want to play in front of people. I never really felt that. I was like, I don't want to. I'm scared because I'm not as good as the person I'm trying to beat today.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Like, it's very different stressors. Right. So I didn't really pay attention to people in the whole thing. It was more just like, can I actually do what I need to do to not suck?

[A]

Right. Yeah. Berg, you got any deep dive tennis questions you want to get into really fast?

[D]

I want to know. Andy. Mr. Roddick, by the way, I texted.

[A]

Him, I said, you can ask a couple of deep divers.

[D]

How in the hell was your sir? Is your sir so powerful? Like, I mean, like, you are a big, strong guy, clearly, but are you doing something different to, I mean, honestly, your first serve is the greatest first serve in the history of the game.

[C]

That's generous. That's not true.

[D]

It is true. It is true. I think I know a little bit more about Ted than you do, Andy.

[C]

Yeah, I, I, that's, I, I maybe victim of the moment. Hot take there. But I, it's, I don't know, I, like, I just swung really hard. Like, the one thing I will say, and this is probably boring, this is like, this is like an ambient for your listeners right now. But I, I do think this, like, the, the Europeans, because they grow up playing soccer all the time, their footwork's great, and everything we do with baseball, football, everything, have great serves, just, I think everything's overhand I think everything they do is like footwork and it, you know, comes out in the wash. You.

[D]

You, you weren't doing some leg stuff? I mean, were you? Like, I mean, like, I feel like.

[A]

There was some legs. I know that Andy is into leg stuff and I know that Brad Gilbert's into leg stuff. You know where I'm going with this?

[C]

You got. So Brad Gilbert, coach, like legendary tennis coach. Like, when he sees someone, he, he starts analyzing the way their body moves. And so he would just be like pointing out random like, oh, man, that, that legs. And Jake just thought it was the funniest thing of all time.

[A]

Yeah. And then. But Roddick got it. I thought Gil. Because he would literally, he would, we'd be talking about like some 17 year old tennis player and I'll go like, he's pretty good. And he'd go like. Gilbert would go like, yeah, but he doesn't have the stems, man. He doesn't have the legs. Now look at that guy's legs. Now. That guy can hit. And before you knew it, I was like looking at every man's legs and being like, now that guy's got some powerful legs. And I brought it up to Roddick to have a laugh. Yeah. Goes. There's a lot of truth to it. I look at a lot of men.

[C]

Yeah. So I got. My wife catches me, she's just like, what are, are you breaking down that person's gate? I'm like, yeah, that's what I'm doing.

[A]

Oh my God.

[C]

Yeah, I, it's. But it was weird because, like, I, I was, I saw an instant lane for bullshit between takes with Jake, obviously, like, and I wanted to know all the stuff. And so he comes up to me, he's like, Brad keeps talking about people's legs. I'm like, he's not wrong. I, I wanted, I wanted to participate more than my memory would let me because I knew, I knew what Brad was talking about. Normally, I'm happy to jump on board with anything that gives Brad shit.

[A]

I love bg, man. I was just texting with him last week. I'm not letting that one go.

[C]

You can't.

[A]

I was like, he's just such a great character. He's so fun. He sends so many weird emojis and texts.

[C]

He doesn't know how to spell.

[D]

He doesn't need to.

[C]

Like, I guarantee you, if you pulled up Jake, if you pulled up like your last four texts from him right now and count the misspelled words, it would be like, he's, he's. Like 70, 30 on spelling. Any word correct, by the way.

[A]

7030 is a terrible ratio.

[C]

Terrible.

[A]

If you're at a spelling rate to 70 30. No, it's gotta be above 85.

[C]

That head before you. If you told him to spell gorilla, it might have a C. There definitely would be, There would either be 1 or 7. Ls.

[A]

My favorite part about the Gilbert text is the amount of just unnecessary emoji after emoji where he'll go like, how's it going? And I'll be like, good, man. Grind. And then it'll be like a tennis player. And then it'll be like, good. No punctuation. And then it'll be like somebody dancing salsa. And I'm like, I don't get the salsa. I know you're a tennis guy. Yeah, but what's the salt? And I'm like, it'll just be one after the other. And I'm like, love these.

[C]

Well, the weirdest part about that is when it's when, when you said when he said good, it was spelled G U D.

[A]

Steve, in our group of friends, is the big tennis player. Steve and I have played one match in our life. Yeah. He'd been, he'd been bragging about tennis forever.

[D]

I had the flu. I had the flu.

[A]

Well, and his whole thing is I played in high school. I'll dominate you, Johnson. I'll kill you. You're just a little rat. I'll destroy you. You don't have a chance against a guy like me. I'm Omaha built. You're just a rat from outside of Chicago. You have no chance. Yeah. All I hear about is power serve, how graceful he is.

[C]

Graceful?

[D]

Completely.

[A]

He's claimed three crazies.

[D]

Completely. I'm a dancer.

[A]

We go out on the Los Feliz course, and I'm expecting to get murdered. You know, he's way better. Yeah, I probably played five times.

[C]

I saw you, man. I saw you playing pickleball. You have the heart of a lion.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

He's a winner. He's a gamer.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And ask Gareth what I did to him.

[A]

What'd you do to Gareth?

[D]

I just.

[A]

So what happened between you and me, Big Dad?

[D]

You won because I had the flu. I, I, I felt like sick. I had a fever.

[A]

He was getting in his head. He was freaking out. And I'll never play him again.

[D]

Let's play again. I'll give you three games.

[A]

I don't want to stoop to your level. And then, Andy, before we start the calls, what is the name of Your podcast, what are you doing on it? Let's tell our group about it.

[C]

Thanks. Serve podcast. It's basically just a place to go for like super nerdy tennis talk. Every year Earth plays, it pays attention to tennis for like eight weeks a year during the Slams and we can tell stories every Tuesday. And that's, that's basically it. That's YouTube, Apple Spotify.

[A]

That's fun. And you just started doing it on your own and it just has kept kind of building.

[C]

Yeah, it's, it's, it's been, it's been a lot of fun. We couple of dudes just talking some tennis. Luckily, you know, we've been lucky enough to have, you know, the Agassiz and the Nadals and the Sharapovas and the Navratillo. Everyone comes on and talks and it's fun because they kind of like let their guard down and we can talk for more than like 10 second sound bites.

[A]

And then in terms of your serve and I think I, I talked to Gilbert about this. I don't know if I brought it up to you, I truly can't remember, but we. I was doing a thing where he was teaching me serves and he was saying was teaching you. He would, you guys would sometimes do stuff where you would like change your leg position and not even worry about getting it in. Cuz I was getting really overly like focused on trying to make it and he moved my legs and just had me hit and everything went faster. And he said there would be jumps like that with Andy where we could just like, you could just like move everything about what he was doing and just say like, just relax.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then everything like then you start aiming. But he would jump up miles per hour.

[C]

Yeah, I think he might have been lying about that. But yeah, the way you set up, like people always think about like arm angles and swinging hard and all this other stuff. Like if your base setting is, is messed up like you're, you're kind of hopeless.

[E]

Right?

[C]

Like it's kind of everything in tennis and, and you know, for high level pickleballers like yourself, Jake, thank you.

[A]

Thank you. I appreciate that.

[D]

Elite athlete, Jake.

[C]

Elite athletes. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

All right, let's get. So Andy, you know how this show works. We're going to take a couple calls. We haven't heard anything. There's no rules to, you do whatever you want.

[C]

Great.

[A]

It'll be my job to kind of get us towards an ending and if we don't get there, that's okay too. This episode is brought to you By Google Gemini.

[F]

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[A]

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[F]

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[A]

You.

[F]

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[A]

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[F]

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[A]

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[F]

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[A]

Hello. Hello. How are you?

[G]

I am good. How are you?

[A]

Great. What's your name?

[G]

I'm Nadine.

[A]

Hey, Nadine, where are you from?

[G]

I am from Oakland, California. But I'm calling you from Ibiza.

[A]

Spain. Exotic. What you doing in Spain?

[G]

Yeah, a little bit of a vacation here.

[A]

Oh, just vacationing in Spain.

[D]

Are you getting all wild and clubbing and doing E and dancing and stuff? That's what that place is known for, you dropping?

[G]

Yeah, I did one night of clubbing and it almost killed me. Me. So we're here in bed.

[A]

That sounds funny. So you did. You did. Steve Spain night.

[G]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Evil.

[A]

How. How old are we? Just so I can get a gauge of a number.

[G]

I am 32.

[A]

32. You could still survive a party night in Spain. Oh yeah, you got it.

[G]

You think so?

[A]

But yeah. So you're here with obviously Steve Berg. And then we got a special guest. The great Andy Roddick is with us today.

[G]

Oh, cool. Amazing.

[C]

That'd be great. Ask your dad.

[A]

About all three of us.

[C]

Yeah, just ask your dad. It'll be fun.

[A]

Hey dad, I was talking to three geezers. Have you ever heard.

[D]

Love me?

[A]

So, Nadine, you're in Spain on vacation. You're 32, you did a bunch of E. What do we got? So.

[G]

I have tried many times. Well, okay, my. My fiance is in charge of trash duty at home. So he is in charge of taking out the trash and recycling, but he does not like touching the actual trash bag.

[A]

Come on.

[G]

So I have been taking out the trash.

[A]

Come on.

[G]

Which is fine. I don't mind. But I found I invented a game called Trash Hole where I throw the trash bag off of our, like, landing in front of our front door into the big trash bin down below in our driveway. It's about two and a half stories, or, like, two and a half. Yeah. Steps down, so it's pretty far. And I have to swing it to get into the trash bin. And I was very good at it until I wasn't. And now the trash bag has been, like, exploding in the driveway. And he's not happy about it. So he said, I can't play Trash Hole anymore. But it's so fun. And that's my, like, one contribution to the trash. So I would love to find a way to convince him to let me play Trash Hole.

[A]

And it's just fun. And by the way, Nadine, everything you're saying is making a lot of sense. I can guarantee we're all going to be on your team here. Andy, your first thoughts? You seem perplexed.

[G]

How.

[C]

I am perplexed. And also perplexed. Jake. How is he in charge of trash? But explain touching the trash bag. Is it all plastic bags? If you go to, like.

[D]

Is it a germaphobe thing?

[C]

If you go. If you go to McDonald's and there's a. Or you get a grocery bag or Walgreens. Does he not, like, touch. Is it touching any plastic bag or is this just a convenient excuse for the trash?

[G]

No, it's just the trash. It's just our trash bin. Why won't he touch it in the kitchen? Is like. It's really old and kind of gross. And so I get it. It's, like, smelly and weird, but.

[A]

I.

[G]

Mean, so I don't. Yeah, it's a little bit of a Gerber Foe thing. I don't mind it, though. Tie it up and put it out the front door.

[C]

Is this as simple? This is me as short as Culver. Is this as simple as just getting a new trash can?

[A]

No.

[C]

No.

[A]

I'll tell you why. It's not.

[C]

That ruins the show. That ruins the show.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[A]

I'll tell you why. This is why I think Nadine. And tell me if I'm wrong. You're not complaining that he doesn't touch the garbage. You just want to keep playing Trash Hole.

[G]

Exactly. Yes.

[A]

That is the problem.

[G]

I love it. It's so fun.

[A]

She just found a game. Now, I think what this call's really about is the yips. Nadine have you ever heard of the yips?

[G]

The what?

[A]

Okay, so there's a thing. It's the. Yes.

[C]

Don't say it out loud.

[A]

The yips are something that. There is a baseball player. I can't remember his name. Chuck Knobloch. Yes.

[G]

That's not a real name.

[A]

Yes, it is a real name. Unfortunately. He was a second baseman and he.

[C]

Was good and Rick Heel with the.

[A]

Pitching and then he all of a sudden had to go to play center field.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

This was something that happened in like a 10 year period, in the 95 year period. And then it's gone away. But all of a sudden, Nadine, this was a major league player. He was an all star. I believe from second base to first base is very close. He forgot how to throw his arm.

[G]

Second to first.

[A]

No, A demotion. No, it's. He's throwing the ball. You big.

[C]

You big baseball fan?

[G]

No, clearly.

[A]

Big sports fan or just trash? No.

[D]

She's dropping in, dancing all night.

[A]

The only point that matters, and I love that the idea of the second baseman, the first baseman is a demotion.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So like the third basement. He throws the first.

[C]

He had to go. He had to go to Paul Tuckett.

[A]

Jake. He got demoted by the first. But what happens is what I think happened is what we got to figure out is why you got the yips and why you used to be good at trash hole and now you're bad at trash hole. My thought and tell me if you want something else is how do we get your confidence back, girl?

[G]

Yeah, I feel like I need a way to practice that's not going to piss him off and explode trash everywhere.

[A]

Because he didn't care when you were making it. Like every great coach, he just hated when you started losing.

[G]

Yeah, he was impressed when I would make it.

[D]

Have you. Did you get so good and so comfortable with that you start phoning it in and you weren't concentrating? Or is it just like you, you feel like you lost the skill.

[C]

Any injuries, Nadine, any injuries?

[G]

I think I lost my swing.

[A]

Interesting. No, not in the movie City Slickers. Let's get. You'll get your groove back.

[D]

Stella got his a long time ago.

[A]

Okay, so, Nadine, this is getting interesting, in my opinion. So you take a garbage can out.

[G]

How?

[A]

Who touches it first is not the issue. Nadine is fine taking it. You would reach over. There was a big trash can. You go, I'm gonna play a game called trash hole. You throw the garbage out, it goes in a trash hole. You go, this is fun as Hell, your husband's out, your fiance's happy, you're happy.

[C]

It sounds fun.

[A]

Sounds fun. One day you throw it, you miss trash all. It's a mess. A couple days after you miss it, he goes, stop throwing the trash out the window like an animal. You're turning our yard into, like, a raccoon.

[G]

Exactly.

[C]

I have a question, Nadine. Was it. Was it like, once you missed it badly? Once? Did your confidence get shook immediately or has this been, like, a gradual. I'm just kind of gradually getting worse?

[G]

No, see, I. The next week, like, when it was trash day, I was like, can I throw it in? And he was like, no, because, oh.

[C]

It'S just one miss.

[A]

I was like, well, wait, whoa.

[G]

Okay. No. But then I tried again and I missed. So I think my confidence definitely got here.

[D]

Here's what I'll say right off the bat. Is that. Is that even Michael Jordan practice free throws? Are you opposed to, like, going out there and, like, training as soon as you can hit 10.

[C]

Yeah, training, like, montage. Trash roll montage.

[D]

Yeah, absolutely. So you can say to your husband.

[A]

I hate this man.

[D]

You can say to your fiance, it's like, look, look, I will not play trash until. Until I can consistently hit 10 for 10 shots in. And then once I've done that, I'm Michael Jordan again.

[C]

You just gotta find some similar weight.

[G]

That doesn't practice with. Yeah, it's just not trash.

[D]

No, you load it up with you. You. You do a triple bag, right? You make a dummy bag and you load it with some, like, you know, cans and whatnots. And so you have some weight because you want to have accurate weight. I'm, you know, three to four pounds maybe.

[A]

So I think we're in a very good zone here, Nadine. But I want to just pitch something first. Earlier you said either two stairs or two floors up.

[C]

That's different.

[A]

Where are you in the building?

[G]

Yeah, it's like two floors.

[A]

Two floors.

[G]

So I'm standing outside our front door on the landing, reaching over the railing, like, over the driveway where the trash cans are.

[A]

Could you walk one floor down, lean over and throw it in?

[C]

It's not as fun.

[A]

I know, but hold on. I know, but hold on.

[D]

That's not what the game is.

[A]

I know, but hold on.

[C]

Make a layup before you shoot a jumper.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Do a layup for a week straight and then say to him, I've been practicing. And then you get your groove back by taking easy shots.

[G]

Okay, but the problem is, I think the fun of it Comes with the challenge because I have to, like, swing it a little bit, but not too much. If I swing it too much, it's going to go, like, past the trash can. If I do it too little, it's going to hit the other, like, recycling bin.

[A]

So.

[C]

Great.

[G]

And if I go down, like, one flight, I just drop it straight down. That's no fun.

[D]

Everyone loves club's game time and a lot of people don't like practice, but I think what you're missing is the practice.

[C]

Sorry, I haven't. I have another. I have a. I have a technical question here. Nadine, now that when you've missed. Have you gone back through what you've thrown away that week? Is the bag heavier? Are you good at three pounds and bad at six pounds? Are we. Do we need to. Do we need to pay attention to what. Because it's like not every bag of trash. No bag of trash is the. Is the same weight. It's off by a little.

[A]

You're throwing a goddamn snowflake.

[C]

So maybe you just have to adjust your motion based on weight. May, I don't know, get a scale. I don't know what this is like. I don't. I just want you to succeed.

[D]

That's.

[A]

This is why I'm happy we have a professional athlete on. Yeah.

[D]

Thank you, Jake.

[G]

And it's relatively the same every week. Like, I would guess maybe, like, I'm. I'm throwing between 6 and 10 pounds, so heavy bag.

[C]

That's a big differential. That's a big difference. That's 100% difference, almost. That's a huge difference.

[A]

So let me. Let me throw something out because we're giving you some good stuff here. Nadine, this sports one of the margins.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

A little bit different at you. And just to hear what you think, what if you challenged your fiance to a round of trash holes with real fun stakes?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Something that you guys.

[G]

That's what I'm looking for. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[G]

I'm better at trash hole than he is.

[A]

And I think if you can get him to do it once, he might like it. Andy, go ahead.

[C]

If he can, you just say, hey, listen, you don't like touching the bags. I don't like not pin trash hole. Let's meet in the middle. Let's both play trash. All winner stays on. So if I keep making it, I get to keep doing it. If not, you have to do it the next week.

[D]

I love this. Yeah, a bit. The super bowl of trash hole.

[G]

Winner takes the court.

[A]

Yeah. So like in basketball, it make It. So if you make now, if you, if you miss it, it's his trash.

[G]

Okay.

[A]

But if you.

[G]

As long as I feel like that's a loose lose for him because he doesn't like doing the trash.

[C]

I don't like doing a lot of things that my wife makes me do. At some point he's gonna have to grow up.

[A]

Yeah, right now, Andy, it's from fiance to get married. He's gonna have to grow up soon. But right now he still has his leverage.

[C]

Let's. Let's. Let's get you two married. Let's get after it, slugger. I don't know. This is a good stressor. This might save everyone time if we can't get through this.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

What if we just started going five bucks a throw.

[D]

I like this.

[C]

What if there was a way for like, hey, listen, I got to get it back. I'm willing to pay it off. I enjoy this thing. Five bucks a week, you up? You up for it?

[D]

Slug cash on the floor, you get.

[A]

Interesting and you do more. Or you could go back massage. 30 minute back massage.

[C]

Let's gamble.

[A]

30 minute foot massage. If I make you give me a 30 minute massage, if I miss, I give it to you.

[G]

That feels right up our alley. Okay. I mean, up his alley. That does not sound fun to me, but I will do it.

[A]

What doesn't sound fun to you?

[C]

What are you talking about? You get to throw some trash around.

[D]

Yeah, you're still throwing trash massage.

[A]

Right.

[G]

I don't want to touch anyone's feet.

[C]

Okay, so forget whatever the thing is. Whatever the thing is. But you ready? You ready for the good news, Nadine? You ready for it? It is that you don't have the yips because there's no way someone would say, let's gamble on your problem. And you go, yeah, that sounds great. If you had the yips, you'd be.

[A]

Like, no, I think that's exactly right. I think you just missed a few times.

[C]

Bet it.

[A]

I would say, what, Nadine? What do you want to propose to him that you are betting on? If you don't like the feet, what is something that you want him to do to you or for you and something you're willing to do for him for a certain time limit, say 30 minutes.

[G]

Okay, I would take a foot massage for 30 minutes. I would take a back rub, slash scratch for 30 minutes. Scratch is a lot for 30 minutes.

[A]

I agree. They're all 30 minutes of rubbing somebody's foot.

[D]

10 minutes is fine forever.

[A]

I want it to be that's a lot of time.

[C]

That's a lot of time.

[A]

Do I say 15 minutes?

[G]

15. Background would be fine. But I'm thinking, like, I do want to practice, though, because I want to be good at it. Because being good at it is fun for me.

[C]

No one's stopping you.

[D]

But I get the.

[C]

Get the best trash, Nadine. Get the bet set in place before you start improving. He needs to think you're shitty so you can get the best terms on your bet. And then you practice.

[A]

This is an easy way.

[G]

Become a trash hole shark.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

Yep. You hustle him.

[A]

Okay, you asked how you practice. Here's how you practice. You do have a scale in your home.

[G]

Yes.

[A]

Take the bag out when it's full, tie it up, put it on the scale, whatever it weighs. Grab a, go get a black garbage bag that are stronger and find. Go to a Home Depot and find anything that weighs the same as that. So you could get towels, you could get, you know, the stuff you put on the floor. Now we're talking, but we're just trying to get this exact weight and you're just throwing that locking down over and over. Then start moving your target. So you could start throwing it to the right, you could throw it to the left. Do 10 throws a day for a week straight.

[G]

That's my problem, is I can't aim when I have to swing it. So I need to, like. Yeah, I think that's the. That's my issue.

[A]

Hey, Andy, were you serving aces the first time you picked up a goddamn racket?

[C]

No, Jake, it took a lifetime of work. I think Nadine's trying to take shortcuts here. You need to get to work, Nadine.

[A]

Just practice.

[D]

Train, train, train. You have to train.

[A]

Turn into a rocky montage.

[D]

If you want to be a champion, you have to train.

[C]

But wait, it sounds pretty simple because she's saying. She's saying, I want to practice. I want to be the trash hole shark. Like, just get the term. Get the terms of the bet while he thinks you suck at this.

[A]

I think that's right.

[F]

I think we need to get a montage. I think we need to bring a friend in. I think we need to film. That's going to be good for the show.

[D]

Of course.

[A]

I think you're.

[F]

And then you're going to get the reps in and it's going to be no problem them.

[A]

And then will you, Nadine, will you film the montage and will you do one other thing? Will you film the throw when the bet is officially on? So that we can see the actual take.

[G]

Yeah, I will. I will definitely try and do that.

[A]

And then you can ask him to film it.

[G]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Can we?

[C]

Can we? Also, I need to. I can't get over this. Right? And I've thought about it multiple times while we've been on this call. She's laying in bed in Ibiza, talking about throwing trash off her front porch and how much she misses it. That's. That's strange, right?

[D]

Yeah, it's. It's unique.

[G]

Nah, I've been in Visa for six days. I'm tired.

[A]

As she's ready to get home. Yeah.

[C]

The sunshine. Let's go throw some trash.

[A]

Throw trash in Oakland.

[D]

Your feet hurt from dancing too much? You're actually hungover.

[A]

Got on top of you playing trash hole back home. Nothing's better.

[C]

Becoming a shark.

[A]

So, Nadine, here's what we're asking you to do for the show. Oh. We're asking you to write up a contract with your fiance that the. If it goes in, you owe him this. You. If it goes out, it's your job to clean it up and figure it out. And then you. Every day, you get to do that same challenge or every time the garbage goes out. Both. Sign it, and then send us a copy of signed contract. Second. All right, start practicing. Weigh the bag, and then just get out there with towels or whatever you want, newspapers, whatever. Adds up to the same around weight. Make a little montage video so you get ready for it. And then do the challenge and try to film that actual first one.

[C]

Andy, I have one more. Just. So when you're saying weight, Weight's not always distributed the same way. So don't put, like, a parking cone that weighs the same as, like, something that's like a melon in a ball. The shapes need to make sense, too, while you're doing this.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Every time, every day of practice, it should have a different shape.

[C]

Just be conscious of it.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

Okay. So should I just, like. Should I just get, like, the same food every day, eat the same thing every day and.

[C]

Seems extreme.

[D]

You can approximate. No, I would just approximate. Yeah. You know, and also, remember, okay, you're. You're practicing something that you clearly have passion for. You love this game. You love this game. So practice should not. Not be a chore. It shouldn't be something you have to do. It should be like, all right, you know, finish work. I get to go home and practice.

[A]

It's like, right.

[G]

Well, the other thing I forgot to mention, our trash can got stolen like, a couple Months ago. So we got a brand new trash can. So he was very adamant about not dirtying up the new trash can.

[C]

It's a trash.

[A]

Okay, here's the other thing.

[D]

Like they're supposed to be dirty.

[A]

Right.

[C]

There and what it's called.

[A]

Is he in the room with you?

[G]

No, he's not.

[A]

Okay, here's what we're gonna do. If he has an issue with you throwing trash in a trash can, he's got a call and we gotta talk to him. We're entering a world that's crazy.

[D]

It might go deeper.

[A]

Yeah, it's a trash can. We just got to get him to agree to these terms. And if he's being a stickler, then as your lawyers, have him. Have him get on the zoom.

[E]

Yep.

[A]

Because I think we can get him to. If he's a reasonable human being, he will agree to allowing you to throw the trash out that he won't touch because he's not into germs. How you want to in a new trash can. I think he'll be fine. He does.

[G]

That's what I'm saying.

[C]

He doesn't get to tell you about the trash can when he wants nothing to do with it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's your territory.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Own it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, then the other. I mean, so the other thing is you're. You're the trash lady and you can do what you want, but I think you're calling in, how do we do it in a fun way with him.

[G]

Exactly.

[A]

And the fun way is the bet. And the fun way for you. Because what you don't want to have do is set up the whole bet and then get the yips and miss Knoblock demotion. That would be. Nadine, don't.

[D]

In your head.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. If all of a sudden camera's on in the big day.

[D]

Yeah. You got to visualize. You got to be thinking about this.

[C]

All damn day while you got to hydrate.

[D]

You got to hydrate.

[A]

And then I think part of the contract is if you miss, you clean up every piece of garbage. Yeah. Because then what could he be mad about?

[G]

See, that's the thing, is I don't want to do that either, but I do feel like that's fair.

[D]

Then get good, girl. Get good.

[A]

I want to play trash hole hole. And you miss the trash hole. It is your job to clean it. And that should be in the contract.

[B]

Did you make him clean up the first time you missed with you?

[G]

No, he just did it. And I was standing there.

[C]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This. I feel Like, I'm taking crazy pills so he won't touch a trash bag. But he got right in there without being asked to do it, when it was something that you called.

[A]

Paused.

[G]

No, but he wasn't happy about it. And I offered, but he was like, no, it's fine. I'm already down here, so.

[A]

Gotcha.

[C]

I know he didn't throw parade, but.

[A]

All right, I'm cleaning this one up, Nadine, and then we're getting out of here because that is totally new information. It's insane that he picked up the trash after you missed it. Trash.

[C]

I get it now.

[A]

I get it, too.

[C]

Finally.

[G]

I know. And.

[A]

And the first thing you say in the contract is, that'll never happen again. That was insane.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

If I'm playing Trash Hole, it is not your job to clean up my mess. Yeah. And he'll go, I agree. And you'll go, but with that in mind, I'd like to continue to play Trash Hole. He's gonna get a little bit like. And you go, but if I miss, I clean. And then he'll go, like, okay, but what? And then he goes, gonna go, it's a new trash can. And then you go, but I want to make it interesting.

[C]

Yeah, you need to support my passions.

[D]

Yeah, no, exactly.

[C]

No, I begged. I'm sorry. I'm a Trash Hole player. You can't take it away from me.

[D]

This is who you marry, Nadine.

[A]

Here's another pitch.

[C]

This is me.

[A]

Here's another pitch. We go Handy Roddick, and you start wearing a uniform and a headband, and you claim it's your passion and it's who you are, and if he loves you, he has to support you.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

You're a Trash Hole play player.

[G]

Wait, so can I get a jersey, like, with Trash Hole in the back?

[D]

I think you should. I think you should.

[C]

Only if you have Google.

[D]

This is going to take over.

[A]

I mean, by the way, if you got a leak little. If you got a top and matching shorts that said Trash Hole a number headband.

[C]

People might take that the wrong way.

[G]

Yeah. Kind of sounds horrible.

[A]

It does, actually. You're the best at trash.

[D]

Oh, we can rebrand.

[C]

You know, your parents are going to be proud. I'm just telling you this. This is going to be great.

[D]

We always knew she had the physique, you know, A natural.

[A]

So look at that.

[C]

Look at that army.

[A]

What do you. What are you thinking of doing here?

[G]

I think I'm definitely going to write up a contract, so it's fair, you know, like, whether I miss or make it either I get something or he gets something.

[A]

Great.

[G]

And. And I love the idea of a jersey. So I can like, really turn it into a passion, a hobby.

[A]

I do too.

[G]

And then, yeah, I will try and like turn my ring camera so we can get the.

[D]

There you go. A nice wide shot.

[C]

So now you're thinking.

[A]

Great.

[G]

All right.

[D]

You can watch your form later, too.

[C]

You can watch tape playback.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

You can watch film.

[A]

You can build efficiencies.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Why don't we do this actually? Why don't you do some shots, bring it back on. If Steve and Andy are around, we'll try to come back and watch.

[C]

Okay. I. I don't. If you let me back, I need to see this. I need to be in this portion.

[A]

Yeah. Let's find a time to all come back and we'll just do a quick follow up where we'll all watch your game tape and just talk technique a little bit just to see if we can kind of get you even better. We'll get you to be the number one trash hole in Oakland. You have a.

[D]

An legend like Andy Roddick willing coaching your technique.

[C]

I just, I need to like, figure. I need to know the biod. Let's go. We're going. We're gonna. We're gonna win this. This is amazing.

[A]

We're gonna win this.

[D]

Let's win.

[G]

We're all.

[D]

We're invested.

[G]

So Nadine is my super bowl, so I'm into it.

[A]

So you got this trash.

[C]

Trash hole is our Super Bowl.

[A]

That's exactly right.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So, Nadine, get yourself a jersey. Get yourself some practice. As soon as you've got any sort of video you could send us, send to Nat and we will schedule a follow up.

[D]

And don't sleep. If you're doing this in flip flops, you're not serious. If you're doing it flip flops, you're not serious. You really got hanging up after that.

[A]

Sweet.

[C]

Jesse here.

[F]

Our next caller requested that we remove any identifying information from his call. So please forgive the bleeps and enjoy.

[A]

All right. Hello. Hello. Hey, how you doing?

[E]

I'm good. How are you?

[A]

I'm doing great, man. Can I get your name, please? Hey, where are you calling from?

[E]

I'm from.

[A]

Wow, that's our first. Yeah. And how old are you?

[E]

I'm 26.

[A]

26. Well, you got a special one. You got. The great Andy Roddick is joining. We did a movie together, became buds and I'm really happy to have them. And then you got old show standby Steve Berg with us.

[E]

Awesome. Wow.

[A]

So take it away and start letting us know what your issues are.

[E]

So I live in, and there's not really a terribly great way to meet people. And I'm current. I recently got broken up with and me and my buddy both kind of got broken up with at the same time. So we're kind of trying to, you know, find a new way to put ourselves out there and stuff like that. And through our searching, we found that one of the breweries in town does a run club called Loggers and Joggers.

[D]

Oh.

[E]

And yeah, we really think that would be a cool way to meet people. But we both don't really like working out, so we want to be part of the run club, but we don't actually want to do any of the running.

[C]

I mean, this, this is administrative. You're the organizer. You get to be around all the stuff. You get to help with all the things. You get to save the day when they're tired.

[E]

Right?

[C]

I mean, this is. This.

[A]

Walk me through that, Andy. So you're saying he should just become part of the administration.

[C]

You organize the run club. You are responsible. You are like the guy for the run club that puts everything together. Oh, I. I can't run the full time today because I have to make sure everyone has Capri Suns at the end.

[A]

It's like soccer when you're in what you're saying, yes. Become the home host slash parent. You would love to run, but you and your buddy, you got to make sure all the drinks are ready, everything is ready.

[C]

But then you can constantly reference Run Run Club. And it's not like you're being a poser because you're a very important part of it.

[D]

Yeah, you're wearing the shirt. Maybe you have a windbreaker, you know, like. And I like your idea, but the pre sun snacks, I mean, like, you know, yeah, you would love to run, but you got the administrative work responsibilities.

[E]

I love that.

[D]

That's bulletproof.

[A]

Let me. Let me ask you a question. What's your. What's your buddy's name?

[E]

His name is.

[A]

And why'd you get dumped? You know what happened? You guys both got dumped at the same time. What's cooking there?

[E]

So, yeah, so we're both friends from college, so I got dumped. Just. They didn't see a future with me because.

[C]

Because he was out of shape.

[A]

He's like, we jog.

[D]

Think of sweat for wor. Your life.

[A]

Jesus, your cardio. You're. You've been on top of me for eight seconds.

[C]

You. You literally Only own flip flops. You've never had a sneaker in your.

[A]

Life for heat of your heart exploding. But what was the. What was the breakup? Just roughly around. It might not mean anything. I'm just trying to see if there's something there.

[E]

It was about like a month ago, though.

[A]

Okay. Early just happened. And how long were you with the. Your partner?

[E]

Not super long. It was about like six months. Nothing too terrible, but.

[A]

And so you want. So basically it's you and this one guy hang out and is loggers and joggers. Is it a way to meet ladies or are you trying to meet. Or gentlemen. Whatever you into. That's what it's called, I believe. Is that right?

[E]

That is what it's called.

[A]

Yeah. But are you looking to meet. Meet a significant other or is it just you looking for friends? I'm trying to get. What is the point of this thing?

[E]

So I. I'm kind of just looking for friends, but good old pal might be looking for something else. So I'm just trying to help him.

[D]

Out, you know, let's. Let's admit you wouldn't mind if a little action came your way either for of the female variety. Am I right about that?

[E]

I mean, you're not mad at that?

[D]

Okay, so.

[C]

Okay, so I mean, you're basically trying to figure out how to meet fit people, right? Slash women while not actually having to be fit yourself.

[A]

I think that's what the question is.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

How do you join a loggers and joggers club without jogging? Is it that clean in order to.

[C]

Make friends, do more logging?

[D]

Well, lean into the logging.

[E]

So that. That is true. I could lean into the logging. So just that. But also just like finding a way to kind of just put ourselves out there, I guess.

[A]

Well, so then why don't we. So let's lean into loggers and joggers. Let's get you guys situated into that group. I like what Roddick's saying about being the head of it. I'm going to lean into a fake injury and I'm going to lean into. All you guys need is go to a CVS or a Walgreens gets a neck brace. You get a ankle brace or one crutch. You show up to loggers and joggers and you're here for it. You're wearing the shirt.

[C]

This is drinking the drinks. Jake, this is fantastic. Because then you can be like, I'm hurt, but I. I want to power through a little with you. You know how much credit you would get for running one mile with A wrap on your ankle. You could be the hero.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

And you're there. As soon as this is healed, I'm all in. But right now I'm just cheering you guys. Getting to know everybody. I'm gonna, I'm gonna drink extra loggers cuz I'm doing less jogging. But I wish I was doing 50. 50. And you guys are the injured mascots who cheer everybody on.

[C]

Great attitudes.

[A]

Great attitudes. You're so pissed.

[C]

Always on time.

[A]

Always on time. Maybe you both had neck braces cuz you were in a car accident together and you got equal whiplash.

[C]

That's a tough one. I know, I just. The neck braces thing, it's like if you're going. If you're, if you're leaning into the logger part and you, you've ripped five.

[A]

Of them, you're going to take the.

[C]

Neck brace off or you're just gonna be like, huh?

[A]

And everyone's gonna know you're totally right.

[C]

Right. Like you can't.

[A]

Totally right.

[C]

Bill's. Bill's doing what?

[D]

And then it's like tough to commit to it.

[C]

And someone's like, did you just regain full range of motion?

[A]

Yeah. You're not, you're not wrong.

[D]

Now if you want some dramatic flare, I think something as simple as a crutch.

[A]

Agreed. Crutch goes a long way.

[D]

And maybe have a cast. Go ahead and get a cast and have people sign it. That's fun. Who doesn't love that?

[A]

I think, I think a cast is fun. I think it's way too much commitment.

[D]

It might be. Yeah.

[A]

Wait, so Steve, they're going to show.

[B]

Up to the first meetup in a cast for running.

[A]

Don't ask him the question.

[D]

I like the. I like it.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

You obviously put it together. It's going to take a little bit of time. Two weeks, four weeks, six weeks.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I don't know. But when you do it, you can say, guys, this is rough. I still want to show up. It's still organized. We're still going to do it. But bad news. I got hurt. You see.

[A]

Hold on.

[C]

You preempt it with the email.

[A]

I don't think they're organized it. I think it's a pre existing thing.

[C]

Wait, wait, wait.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's through a brewery.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You tell us a little bit more about the actual, like how does this club work?

[D]

What are the mechanics behind this. This thing?

[E]

So we kind of scouted it out a little bit. So like a heist. But so we, we pretty much every Thursday at 6:30, the A group just meets up and then they around kind of the downtown area. And then after it's 50 off drinks.

[C]

Whoa, you're just trying to get a discount on your booze, man.

[A]

See, there's always when you dive in deep, man. 30 of college you go. It took us a mile to run a block here, babe. Are you just trying to get 50 off with your buddy? Because I'll tell you, the whole breakup story sounded fishy. You were like, why'd they break up with you? I don't know. Wasn't that serious. The other guy's hurting, though.

[D]

What are you looking for?

[A]

You're looking for a partner? I don't know.

[D]

Is the beer any good? Is the beer great? Because it might be worth it.

[E]

So I actually am a year and a half sober.

[A]

This is now getting so confused.

[E]

I know, I know.

[C]

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So one. One, one, congrats on being sober. Two, you don't want to jog or drink. And loggers and joggers.

[A]

Right? This is madness. This is. You're sending mixed messages to new friends. Friends.

[D]

I'm always thinking, you, like, go the other way and go find like a swimming club.

[C]

Like, you know, how about just downloading a app?

[D]

I mean.

[A]

Yeah, but hold on. So you really don't drink alcohol?

[E]

No, I don't. I'm a year and a half sober. My buddy, on the other hand, does.

[A]

Yeah, but it's not calling.

[E]

No, he's not. I guess for me, I'm 26 and it's. It's kind of like it's been hard putting myself back out there just because.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

People are like, hey, let's go get a drink or, hey, let's go do something. And it's hard to be like, hey, I'm actually a year and a half sober.

[A]

I think the. The game of trying to socialize as a single 26 year old while sober is a fucking nightmare.

[C]

You could do that. You can do the na. You can do the NA thing a lot.

[A]

It's hard.

[C]

Yeah, you can.

[A]

You could do a soda water with a lime that looks like a vodka soda, but it is a different animal.

[C]

I mean, I don't mean to be insincere.

[A]

Yeah, okay.

[C]

But this brings the neck brace back in.

[A]

I don't disagree.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

No.

[A]

And you can't drink because you got a concussion.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Medical advice.

[A]

You would love to have a drink. But no, actually, that's as insane because here's why you're. You're trying to like we have to always go back to reality on this show. And you're looking to make friends, correct?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

You don't like to jog, correct?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

It seems like you're craving community too, right?

[A]

Yeah. But hold on, Steven. You don't like to exercise. That's not your thing. And you don't drink. Why are you going to loggers and joggers?

[E]

There's really not a lot going on in this town.

[A]

Oh, that's interesting. So this for you feels like your kind of people. We just got to figure out how to get you into the group. Group where the fact that you don't jog doesn't matter. And the fact that you don't enjoy the loggers or the joggers, nothing matters. We just want you at that bar with everybody socializing an hour and a half after the jog for once a week because by the fourth week you're gonna be buddies with people.

[C]

Is there a sign up situation? Like you sign up a week ahead of time because the injury can happen anytime before you actually have to physically show up, right?

[D]

Oh yeah.

[E]

Yes.

[C]

So sign up and then you get.

[A]

I think that's exactly right.

[D]

Right. Could be a minor running related injury. Maybe you got plantar fasciitis.

[C]

You're running too much.

[A]

Too much.

[C]

Steve Berg, you're such a genius. Because plantar fasciitis es and flows. It's not like it has a distinct timeline. It can stick around for a while. Great call, Ste Berg.

[D]

And it hurts. It hurts bad.

[A]

Really bad. Now I want to say something to you, another thing and I'm going to tap into Steve for a little bit. There's a move you could do that could get the attention off the jogging and the drink. Drinking the equivalent of Steve Berg bringing a casserole when he comes to somebody's house. What if you bring like homemade chicken wings?

[D]

I love this.

[C]

It's a great idea.

[A]

So you didn't jog, such as the planter in your foot. Yes. You're not drinking. Or maybe you're drinking. You got an N A. Who cares? No one's gonna be like, what are you drinking? You're drinking something, even if it's a soda water. But you're the guy who's bringing the wings or something.

[C]

Something unique.

[A]

Something unique, yeah. We love this thing. We just are joining. This is something we love to do.

[D]

A little Southern hospitality.

[A]

A little Southern. So everybody goes like, I brought pigs in a blanket. I brought pigs in a blanket. People are going, hey, can I have One you go. I brought it for you. Yeah, sure. How you doing? Have.

[C]

Have a toothpick.

[A]

I think this is what is looking for. This is the community he wants. But it doesn't always have to be Thursday night. Onesie makes a couple buds. They could get a lunch on a Tuesday. Totally. He's just using this as the pool of people where he goes. Those seem like my kind of people.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

This is a very easy way in. Is this correct? Yes. Throw the neck brace on and what kind of what can you bring? What's a specialty that's very you. What's your best dish?

[E]

O o. I really like making like. So they have these very unique like br. In town where they're made from like gay gator meat.

[C]

Which.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

The most southern thing I've ever said.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah. If you brought gator dogs, dude, shoot.

[D]

You're a friend. That's like making old war buddy in five minutes.

[C]

Dude.

[D]

Like, you can also, like, I mean, like, honestly, like as it goes on, you become this hero who's bringing awesome delicious snacks. You can start picking off the all stars and form your own group, man.

[C]

Dude. Ricky.

[E]

Oh, right.

[C]

Ricky. You just ran 10 miles. I. I brought gator dogs.

[A]

Way to which you're totally right. Nobody's bragging about time. No. When he's handing out gator dog.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I kind of think we might be on to something here. And that is neck brace, which you can have. You. You sign up, you tweak your neck, it's kind of a drag. And then you bring a bunch of gator dogs. So you start, you run a little bit and then you just go like, it's not it, guys.

[D]

Yeah. You ever seen those scooters that people would like who got like an MCL surgery and they up one leg on the scooter and they kind of scoot themselves. So if you want some dramatic flare. I mean, who doesn't love someone on a scooter? Like, I agree.

[A]

At a bar, especially if someone's got it. And then you be the cool guy. You let people use your scooter, you're.

[D]

Giving babes rides on it. I mean, you know what?

[C]

You know what doesn't you know what does not scream short term injury? Scooter. Yeah.

[A]

Agree.

[D]

That's a dead giveaway.

[C]

Nine months.

[A]

But if you're all also. And I gotta say, most people with foot injuries that have scooters aren't cool with you letting people use the scooter. They're pretty precious with it. So somebody that's pretty Liberal with the scooter usage is pretty cool. Your leg, it's like my foot's all up. Like it's a cool scooter and you go like, oh. And they go, you can use it if you want. I'd go like, you're letting me use your scooter and you're injured. You're such a cool guy.

[C]

I don't care. I'm chill.

[A]

What if things get like extracurricular though.

[F]

And you want to go home with.

[C]

Somebody or you want to have a.

[F]

Lunch on a Tuesday? Do you have to then have the scooter with you the whole time?

[C]

He's feeling better. He's starting to feel better.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

It was a two to four week thing and I was on week today. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Range, emotions, great.

[A]

Now scooter, I didn't need it today, I'm gonna need it Thursday. When you're hearing all this, where you at, man?

[E]

I think it's all great advice. I think the scooter thing is great. I think the food idea is also a really good idea. Like, I think, I think this is all like really good advice. I can definitely, I definitely try out the scooter thing.

[B]

Do we need two separate injuries for.

[A]

Him and for though didn't call in, he.

[D]

I think that's got to worry about himself. This is, this is every man for himself.

[A]

This is war, man.

[B]

He did say he will follow any advice you're willing to give.

[A]

I don't think we can have two scooters. I think that's insane.

[D]

That's insane. Yeah, we're. We're crazy.

[C]

Especially with gator dogs. You can't have two scooters with gator dogs.

[A]

No. By the way, if two guys both have scooters and they're handing me gator dogs and they did, didn't run. Not my friends.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

If one guy is handing me a Gatorade with his scooter and the other guy has a neck brace, my friends, by the way, throw just a neck brace on.

[D]

Yeah, there you go.

[A]

You guys got injured together?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Doing what? Doing what? What were you doing?

[A]

Catching the gator.

[D]

Maybe. Nick is amateur mma. I don't know, you know, I mean.

[A]

It could be do Sam, what do you think about you guys got hurt together? I kind of say cut off and survive on your own here.

[D]

And also you'll have new friends, man. You'll have a whole new group of friends.

[A]

I think a double injuries. I think a double injury is insane stories. Insane. So back to you, bud. Take us out of here. What are you going to do, bud?

[E]

I think faking an injury sounds like pretty good. Like we can. I'll toys the idea of maybe just doing like a mild injury to maybe the scooter and then, you know, good like buddy will, you know, he can be the supportive friend or, you know, ditching him could also work. But, you know, I can't. I can't ditch him.

[A]

Here's the reality on this.

[C]

Not with an attitude like that.

[A]

Here's the reality. If, let's say Steve and I went to a loggers and joggers and he wasn't jogging because he got hurt, it's not weird for me to say, I'm gonna hang with my buddy tonight. So is allowed to be your plus one on the injury, but one of you needs a valid excuse.

[D]

Andy.

[A]

That's right.

[D]

Andy could also be like this super, like gentlemanly like guy who helps you, like, helps you up off a chair. He's like, you know, oh, he's got to help his buddy who's injured.

[A]

I think if you go too far, can you go.

[C]

Can you bring a plus one? The first time that you're going to a club and not participate in anything?

[A]

Well, he drink?

[C]

Well, no, but it's not part of the who's like, you guys both signing up for the club and then just both not doing anything Think.

[E]

Yes, pretty much.

[A]

You think better.

[C]

You better. You better make enough Gator dogs, man.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And the Mustards have never been, by the way.

[A]

Andy, you're not wrong. Two guys coming in and then not doing it.

[C]

You're plus one the first time. Like, are we throwing hail Marys in the first quarter? What are we doing right?

[A]

Because then that might you here's the only fear. You got some purists there who are like, are these guys just here for the 50% off? Cuz there's always a guy in the group who's a bit of a. A dick.

[C]

What if you went like one or two times and there was like, hey, I have a buddy who wants to come. Is that cool?

[A]

Oh, that's interesting.

[D]

I. Yeah, like, then it's easier.

[C]

It's like you already brought the dogs. You already got a little goodwill. You got a thing.

[A]

I have an idea. I have an idea.

[C]

Yeah, go cook.

[A]

You guys go. You twist your ankle during the job. Helps you out.

[C]

Yeah. And you video it.

[D]

Yeah, GoPro, please.

[A]

So the Gator Dogs is weak to two, but one, you're in shorts and a T shirt, you fake an injury and then when people go, you okay? You Go like this, guys. Keep going, keep going. And if somebody's trying to be cool, you're like, honestly, thank you. And goes, he's my old friend. I'll carry this lug back. We'll see you guys back there. Do not let anybody else stop. You have the best attitude. And then people go like, dude, how's your ankle? You go, okay, next week you're in a scooter, but you got hurt there.

[C]

It was worse than I thought of the group.

[A]

It's. Yeah, it's kind of up. No way. And then goes, I'm going to hang with my buddy. Why? I don't need this guy to be all sad and lonely. He loves fucking joggers and loggers.

[C]

Loves it.

[A]

But he stepped on a rock. Weird.

[D]

I think this is great.

[A]

Where yet ring the bell.

[E]

I think this is. Yeah, I think this is the best. I think that that seriously could work really well.

[C]

Don't undersell the pain, though. Like. Like you can give. Don't go like, oh, don't moan for a minute. It's one.

[G]

Ah.

[C]

And then you're down. And then it's like, oh, man. And then you're understated from there on out, but it's a big yellow understated.

[A]

And then do the stand up. Look mad.

[C]

Try to stop.

[D]

I like the mad. And now, like, he's mad. You can't participate. Like, God, the only thing I want to do was jog today.

[A]

That's wrong, Steve.

[D]

That too much.

[A]

It's. That's Disney Channel.

[D]

Too much. Dial back.

[A]

Yeah. You're mad about the pain, so you have. You have to do this, right? And the thing of. Are you going to actually do this? This.

[E]

Perhaps.

[A]

What do you mean perhaps?

[E]

I'm probably gonna do it. Yeah. I'm probably gonna do it.

[A]

Well, for. So hold on. If part of this show is we're happy to pitch, but then we would like to all agree on something. So if you're not, what are you gonna do?

[E]

Okay, I. I think the faking an injury is probably what I'm gonna end up doing, like, showing up and really, like, selling it really hard.

[A]

So you like that rather than. Than getting hurt during the run?

[E]

Oh, no, no, no. That is. Forgive me. That is. Yeah, that's what I meant.

[A]

Okay, so you're just going to show up like you're there for loggers and joggers. Start the jog minute three. Block three. Just tweak that ankle. You don't even have to go all the way down. You just do like a. Oh, Gosh, Yeah, this can't be happening. Just do that. Like, you kick your leg out. You just go, me, man. And then your buddy goes like, you all right? And you go like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine. Thanks.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I just tweaked my bad ankle and.

[D]

Then all of a sudden there's a doctor amongst the group of jockers. Like, yeah, that looks fine.

[A]

100% fine. No information. Thanks, man. Thank you for the call. Follow up with us. We'll talk to you in a couple weeks for sure.

[E]

Awesome.

[A]

Thank you, guys.

[E]

Have a good day.

[A]

You too, buddy. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com. and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] hereto help pod to see our entire catalog.

[C]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grim Productions executive producers Rob Hollis.

[A]

Jeff Porter and Adam Hollis.

[C]

Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller.

[F]

Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike. Animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[B]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting June, January 20th. Go to patreon.com heretohelpod.

[A]

Basketball game crushed it and the day's just getting started. Now kick it in with my crew.

[D]

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[A]

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[D]

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[A]

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