214: Too Wholesome for Doggy & Ethiopian Jazz

Summary

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We're Here to Help

Episode 214: Too Wholesome for Doggy & Ethiopian Jazz
Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Date: October 6, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lighthearted and chaotic episode, Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds navigate their way through hotel mishaps, audience connections, and multiple advice segments ranging from tattoo regrets to timeshare woes to bizarre doll adoption. In true "We're Here to Help" fashion, they deliver earnest, irreverent advice, blending personal anecdotes with wild bits, keeps listeners laughing, and sometimes genuinely helping.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Travel Woes, Fans, and Hotel Hijinks

• Jake's Fort Wayne Story: Jake shares how a listener and hotel worker helped him secure a late checkout, underlining the supportive community behind the podcast.
  • "The community is strong." (Jake, [01:59])
• Gareth's NYC Adventure: Gareth recounts a frantic adventure in New York after losing his phone post-filming, and the spiral of bizarre problem-solving that ensued:
  • Begging hotel staff to use their computer
  • Failing two-factor authentication
  • Random car rides in Brooklyn hunting for a film studio
  • Desperate attempts to buy a bottle of booze as a thank you
  • Learning to ride a deli guy’s delivery scooter at 11 p.m.—and being recognized from "Let's Be Cops"
• The ordeal concludes with Gareth returning to the hotel after riding a scooter and laughing about the wild series of events.
  • Notable Quote: "When you’re in hell, burn up." (Gareth, [09:21])
  • Notable Quote: "That is as wild of a night as I've had in ages." (Gareth, [17:30])

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2. Advice Segment 1: The Disney Tattoo Dilemma

Caller: Jordan (Florida)

Context:
Jordan’s newly divorced friend wants to cover a tramp stamp with a large Disney-themed back tattoo celebrating her kids. Jordan’s husband objects, saying it’ll hurt her dating life, but Jordan feels awkward advising her.

Discussion Points:

• The hosts point out the sensitive nature of the tattoo placement and content:
  • Covering a lower back tattoo with a Disney scene, especially featuring kids, could be awkward for future romantic partners.
  • Jake: "It's like imagine if during sex someone was like, hold a picture of my family. It's insane." ([29:29])
• Advice: Friends have a duty to voice concern if a loved one is about to make a big, potentially regretful decision.
  • "If you love somebody, you got to tell them if you think something's crazy. That's the job." (Gareth, [29:35])
• Help Jordan compose a gentle text using her husband as the ‘bad cop’ to express concern while supporting her friend’s autonomy.
  • Drafting and editing the message live together, with an emphasis on being succinct, caring, and leading with, "my husband wanted me to mention…"
• Jordan sends the text live during the show, expressing relief afterward.
  • Notable Quote:
    "This could save this woman's back." (Gareth, [36:19]) "I think you're a good friend here. I really do." (Jake, [39:26])

Timestamps

• Start of caller segment: [24:11]
• Main advice & text drafting: [32:04–37:30]

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3. Advice Segment 2: Timeshare Presentation Escape Plan

Caller: Ashley (San Diego)

Context:
Ashley’s family relies on her sitting through a timeshare presentation to unlock a big vacation discount. She’s anxious about navigating aggressive salespeople alone, fearing she’ll cave.

Discussion Points:

• Hosts brainstorm how Ashley can get the discount while escaping the presentation unscathed.
  • Emphasize she just needs to show up and sign a form; the aggressive pitch is optional.
  • Propose going in as an exaggerated, “unsellable” character to actively repel the pitch.
    • “Shockingly light-hearted and not erotic… or very erotic.” (Gareth, [50:38])
  • Jake pitches a radical idea: have Ashley wear an earpiece, with Jake and Gareth feeding her absurd responses and questions as she interacts with the sales rep, inspired by Johnny Depp’s earpiece listening to Ethiopian jazz while filming.
    • "What if we send her in there, her hair's down over her ears... and we talk... and we set it up and you let us tell you what questions, maybe the best catch you’ve ever had in the history of our show." (Jake, [54:11])
  • They devise a plan to coordinate Ashley's timeshare meeting with a live podcast recording for maximum mischief and minimal risk.
• Ashley is enthusiastic and commits to the prank, promising to keep them updated.

Timestamps

• Start of advice segment: [43:29]
• Earpiece scheme pitched: [53:54–56:11]

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4. Follow-Up: Virginia the Crocheted Doll’s Fate

Caller: Alex

Context:
Alex previously called for advice on what to do with their large, hand-made doll "Virginia." Attempts to launch her into the world through dating app profiles failed (blocked), but Instagram offers came flooding in after a podcast mention.

Discussion Points:

• The most interesting offers include:

  • Using Virginia as a feminist mascot
  • Comedy group “My Totally Real Girlfriend” wanting her as a sketch mascot
  • A formal acquisition offer from the Gadsden Museum of Art in Alabama

• The hosts call the museum live to confirm intent; Alex expresses excitement but needs to arrange shipping for the sculpture.

  • Notable Moment:
    Alex insists Virginia be displayed "in her natural glory, nude," and everyone agrees to honor the artist's wishes. ([69:01])
  • *"Alex, you called into a podcast about what to do with this doll. How do you feel about this as a sol." (Gareth, [70:51])
  • Alex: "I think you can ring the bell. I am very, very happy." ([70:56])

• The museum agrees to host Virginia in rotation and promises to promote shows; the hosts are elated to give Alex closure.

Timestamps

• Intro to follow up: [58:09]
• Alex reads intentions: [62:08–63:54]
• Live museum call: [68:10–70:37]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jake: "The community is strong." [01:59]
• Gareth: "When you’re in hell, burn up." [09:21]
• Jake: "It's like imagine if during sex someone was like, hold a picture of my family. It's insane." [29:29]
• Gareth: "If you love somebody, you got to tell them if you think something's crazy. That's the job." [29:35]
• Jake: "What if we send her in there, her hair's down over her ears... and we talk... and we set it up and you let us tell you what questions..." [54:11]
• Gareth: "Alex, you called into a podcast about what to do with this doll. How do you feel about this as a sol." [70:51]
• Alex: "I think you can ring the bell. I am very, very happy." [70:56]

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Structure & Flow

• Intro: Warm, personal anecdotes and banter, hotel stories
• First Advice Segment: Live advice and text-crafting around a controversial tattoo
• Second Advice Segment: Comic plotting for a timeshare sales defense
• Follow-Up: Closure on a peculiar doll adoption saga
• Wrap-up/Production credits

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Episode Tone

Casual, hilarious, irreverently empathetic. The hosts prioritize honesty and vulnerability, never failing to riff or make themselves the butt of the joke.

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For New Listeners

This episode encapsulates the show's best qualities: weird real-life problems, supportive (if unconventional) advice, and humor in every corner. Even the most trivial dilemmas are met with sincerity and levity, making the advice genuinely helpful and the stories unforgettable.

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Transcript

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[Jake Johnson]

And we are back. Jake, we both got something you want. Let me do mine real quick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do it.

[Jake Johnson]

So I'm in Fort Wayne, Indiana and we're recording. I'm on. So I'm on the east coast. So it's kind of in that weird hotel zone. Like if we record around now, I've got to kind of figure something out of like a late checkout check in. So as I'm trying to figure that out, when we said we're gonna do today, I go through my email and I'm looking for the hotel where the club is putting me up to see if I can get in there a night early or whatever. And I see an email that was sent to my website from someone who worked at a Hampton Inn in Fort Wayne, a fan of our show. And she was just basically like, I won't say her name just because maybe, I don't know, she doesn't want that out there. But she's like, hey, I work at the Hampton Inn. I saw you're gonna be in Fort Wayne. If you and any of people want a room, an easy, cheaper room, let me know, I'll set you up. So I call her directly and she gets me a super late checkout on a room that I book. And so that's how I'm able to record.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I was just like, is that happening right now?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, I'm right now in this Hampton Inn in Fort Wayne. Yeah. And I just was like, ah, it's great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's awesome.

[Jake Johnson]

And I call it. She was. I'm like, this is Gareth. And she's like, from, we're here to help. I'm like, yeah. I'm like, and I need your help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a great.

[Jake Johnson]

The community is strong.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I got one. I don't know if we have time, but I told you the story when I was in New York and I said I had a weird story for you.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I've been shooting this show, having a blast, loving it. When it comes out, we'll hopefully have a bunch of the cast on, but it's a really special one. It's been a lot of fun. I've been flying back and forth a lot and I'm doing it in New York, but I'll fly in on like a Tuesday, shoot on a Wednesday, fly on a Thursday. I always self drive in my life. I don't like drivers, I don't like getting picked up, Nothing. I can't do that. So transpo picks me up outside of the hotel. I sit in the car, we drive to Staten island or Yonkers or the Lower east side or wherever we're shooting, Brooklyn or Queens, I shoot. I go back to the hotel. Gareth. I'm like a child. I know nowhere of where we're going. I barely know the names of the hotels I'm at on this one because I'm so out of it with timing. I only tell you that because of what happens. So I fly in. I think I'm on two and a half hours of sleep. And then just a banger of a day. Like five scenes, four scenes, 12 to 13 hour day. @ the end of the day, I am cooked. It's 7pm I get in transpo, drive from somewhere, Greenpoint to some hotel, some clubs, outside with a bunch of young people. In Williamsburg. Kill me. Walking into a packed elevator with a bunch of drunks being. Talking so loud. And I'm like, I'm just trying to get to a room to sleep, you animals. My. I'm getting picked up at 5am to get to the airport. Scream. Talking all around me. Just get me in my room so I can shut the goddamn door. I'm nearly 70 years old. I walk in the room, I close the door. Paradise. Take out my wallet, put it down, reach for my phone. Reach for my phone. Where the is my phone? Oh, my God, where's my phone? At that moment, I realize how dependent I am. Gareth.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, when you have these moments, you are like, oh, no, that was my first.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not a forgetful guy.

[Jake Johnson]

Of your phone? Of everything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gareth. I'm in a hotel room.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. What do you do? Where do you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I literally froze and left and went, huh. I don't know where my phone is. I have no way of contacting production. I'm in a Hotel in 10 hours. I'm getting picked up by a car service that I didn't book. The emails coming in, I don't have my flight info. So I then go like, all right, well, be calm, be cool. I'm so tired. I feel like I'm in a lucid dream. So I'm like, just chill out. Get your head together. So I walk down to the lobby of the hotel, and I go to the woman at checkout, and I go like, hi, a quick question for you. Do you guys have a business center? A place I can use a computer.

[Jake Johnson]

Where weirdos go to print?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, exactly. She was like, watch. What she wanted to say is, this is like a hipster hotel. Everybody here just fell out of an Apple store. She's like, where do you think you are? In Des Moines at a Holiday Inn, where I am.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But that's what I'm used to.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, give me the big room with nine computers. And she goes, no, I'm so sorry, we don't have that. And I go, like, huh? And I go, I need that. And she goes, why? And I go, I left my phone at work and production is ending in about 30 minutes and they're going to shut everything down and I don't know how to get in touch with them, so I just have to get on my email somehow so that maybe I could email production. Right.

[Jake Johnson]

You had your phone on the drive back? No. Oh, my God. So you don't even know where it is?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have no idea where it is.

[Jake Johnson]

God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The drivers and I, it's a great group of transpond this job. And everybody's chatty.

[Jake Johnson]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we're just. I'm sitting front seat, we're fully gabbing. We are just getting it, gabbing. We all got bits, we all got stories. Let's rock. I can't remember the last time I saw that box, AKA my phone. So I go to the woman and I go. And she goes, I guess you could use this one. Well, Gareth, it was the computer they have at checkout. So I walk around the counter, people are checking in. I'm on the computer.

[Jake Johnson]

Excuse me, sir.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you know me, I can't help but talk. How you doing? You mind using that lane over there? Thank you so much. Have a great stay. I hope you're enjoying it. Can't help but show off. But I'm also in a panic. I get on my email. Great, okay, this is going to work. Type in my thing. It says, this is an unfamiliar computer. We're going to send a code to your phone. What?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. You're set up for two factor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I'm behind the counter, there's now a line of people. There's two computers. She's doing everything. There's a guy standing next to me needing the computer. I can't get on my phone. It's getting dark out. And I go, well, that's crazy. I don't have my phone. That's why I'm doing this. And she goes, this sweet woman goes, well, do you know the name of the studio you were filming at? And I go, nah, nope. She goes, do you know where it was? I go, I think Greenpoint. So she goes, why don't we just look for studios? So we Google studios in Greenpoint and look at images, at a certain point, Gareth, they all look the same. I just went that one. So then she calls me a car, charges it to the room. I get in a car, we're just driving to Greenpoint. We get to the place, the guy goes, all right, it's not the place at that moment. Gr. What do you do now? It's 8:30 at night. Flight is at 7, but I need my board in pass.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's nothing at the hotel, and it's a party hotel. There's clubs everywhere. So what do you do at this point? The car pulls up to the studio. It is not the studio, but you.

[Jake Johnson]

Don'T know where any other studios. You don't. This is a perfect time to use your phone for help. Yeah, I honestly, I think what I would do is. Yeah, I think I would. If I were you, I would call my wife, and I have a payphone. Well, from the hotel.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Or you're. You're right, now that you're out there. Yeah, I would have, I would say to the driver, look, we're totally screwed. Can we drive around Greenpoint a little bit and look for some production vans?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Smart.

[Jake Johnson]

See if there's a production going on?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't play that smart.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. What'd you do?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got out, said goodbye to him. You want to know why?

[Jake Johnson]

Because you felt bad?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, because when you're in hell, burn up.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Don't bring others with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And also, it's the same thing if you're. Like when you're younger and you're drinking too much and it's 145 and you're gonna barf, and then you look over, there's a bottle of tequila. Have another shot.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're in hell.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Pour it on your head on a plane. So what'd you do, Gareth? I just started running.

[Jake Johnson]

What is going on with you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

So tired.

[Jake Johnson]

What are you doing? You just start running? What are you, Forrest Gump looking? Looking for what? The production vans.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Vans.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, well, we're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know. We're in the zone.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it feels industrial.

[Jake Johnson]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I used to live in Greenpoint.

[Jake Johnson]

Start running.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just. But when I say running at that point of the night. Jogging, trotting, trotting, doing a weird hop. So skipping. Walking, sleeping, staying at the hotel.

[Jake Johnson]

There's no show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's no show. I, I, I, I quit. And by quit, I mean fired for doing a terrible job. They said, hey, podcast boy, your acting days are over. You're doing a terrible job.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so you're running.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I start Running. I go, I'm just running. And I'm in a moment in my head going, you know when you walk through the steps in your head? The steps in my head were this. I'm going to run around for a while.

[Jake Johnson]

You're so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what I thought.

[Jake Johnson]

You.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What happens? What do I do? Eventually, I can find a cab. It's New York. I can get to the hotel. I have my wallet. I can pay.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do I do when I get to the hotel? I could call my wife. What could she do? She doesn't know the name of any of these productions.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Maximum Pleasure guaranteed. Apple.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where? It's not even online. The showrunner is a guy named David Rosen. Could you find him? Do you have his number?

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The actresses I'm working with, Tatiana. What's her number?

[Jake Johnson]

Don't know. I'm sweaty at Green Point.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. She would say, what would you like me to do?

[Jake Johnson]

So what do you do? So you're just. So I'm walking, running around Greenpoint, jogging.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I see in the distance production vans.

[Jake Johnson]

He must be like, this guy's out of his mind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just run to them. There's a driver in there. Never seen him before. I go, hi. Are you part of a Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed? He says, no. I go, but are you in the transport union? He goes, yeah. And I go, so you must have a walkie. He goes, no. And I go, he gotta help. He said, no. So I just keep running.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I see another van. Same thing, another van. Then, Gareth, up in the distance, about a block and a half, things start looking familiar. So at this point, covered in sweat, in a panic. Yes, I get to the stages, but I'm coming from a way I've never been, so I'm almost like, is this real? Is this not? Get to the stages, the doors happen to be unlocked. Get to the third floor where my dressing room is. See my phone?

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I'm like, holy. So then I'm like, great. So I get a lift, I get back, and then I think I'm buying a bottle of booze for that woman at reception.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because she did not need to be nice, and she was. So I go to the liquor, the deli right next door, and I walk in and I'm looking around and there's no booze. And the guy working there goes, hey, let's be cops. And I go. I go, my man. But I'm not in the mood. I'm not there, Gareth. I go like this, hey, man, do you got Any booze? He goes, let's be cops. And I go, please, man, please. What I wanted to say is I literally thought I was gonna die. I might have died tonight. I'm at a low, my friend. And he goes, no. And then he goes, I like that movie. And I was like, please, man, I need. I gotta go to bed.

[Jake Johnson]

I hate you.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I hate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I hate me. And then he goes. I go. He goes, no, we don't sell that. I'm not getting her a bag of chips.

[Jake Johnson]

There's some ham.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not going in there with two sandwiches.

[Jake Johnson]

I choose a potato salad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I go, this is New York. A liquor store has to be a block away. So I go, where's the closest liquor store? Fucking guys is a mile away.

[Jake Johnson]

Why did you get out of the lift? Why didn't you. Why didn't you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right neck. I wasn't thinking straight.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, you're not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

First of all, covered in. So I was in a panic.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So then as he gives me the directions, he's like, you got to go down Bedford and tickle right here. I was like, this is not gonna work. And then he goes, why don't you just borrow my scooter?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let'S be cops at this point. What do you do?

[Jake Johnson]

Take the goddamn scooter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I said, I'm 47 years old, man. I'm so tired. I don't want to fall on a goddamn electric scooter. He goes, you're crazy. I'll teach you.

[Jake Johnson]

10 o' clock now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

11. I say, okay. He goes in the back. He gets the delivery scooter. Gareth. He gives me a tutorial in the deli. There's other people in line watching me. And the guy, he was cooking, he walked from behind. You know the guys who make the eggs?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was making the sandwiches.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

He.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There was people waiting for their food. He stops, walks out. We're going in little semicircles. He's teaching me how to use a scooter. And he goes, that button goes faster. And he goes. So you go 10, 15 miles an hour. No problem. And I go, okay. And then I go, what do I do when I get to the liquor store with the scooter? And he goes, don't leave it outside, man. Somebody will steal it. That's a thousand bucks. So I go, okay. Goodbye.

[Jake Johnson]

At this point, who cares?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what I thought. Gareth. Next thing I know, I'm cooking down the middle of the street on a scooter. I'm going about 15, 20 miles an hour. It's the weirdest experience I'd been in in years. Just driving around, getting recognized, people going like, hey, man. And I'm on a delivery scooter. I'm just going like this. How you doing? Yep. Hey, man, like, new girl. Thanks, brother. I get to a liquor store, I bring this scooter inside.

[Jake Johnson]

So you have to. It's not great at all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But it's also. This happened to be like, a nice wine shop. It was not appropriate to have a scooter in there. The guy comes out and goes like, hey, can I help you? And I go, first, I want to apologize for bringing an electric scooter in here. Your shop.

[Jake Johnson]

Have you ever seen let's Be Cops?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he goes, no problem, man. What can I do for you? So I get the thing, buy a nice bottle of Mezcal, go back, drop the scooter off, got give the guy a big hug. I get behind the counter with him, we take a photo. I'll post it on social media. And then, oh, two people were in line, and me and this guy are talking like old friends. He's like, how was the scooter? And I'm like, you're a king. You saved my life. I loved riding it. He's like, oh, thanks, man. And these two guys go, are you who we think you are? And I go, yeah. And they go, do you know that guy well? And I go, I just met him 30 minutes ago. Then the guy goes, we need a photo, Garrett. I just walked behind the counter, handed these guys my phone. I go, take one of me to my friend. We're taking photos. As I'm walking out, he's like, I'll see you soon. And I was like, I'll see you later, baby. I love you, man. I got to the hotel, sat down and just started die laughing. And I was like, that is as wild of a night as I've had in ages.

[Jake Johnson]

Un fucking real.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I swear to God, that has no exaggerations.

[Jake Johnson]

I also. It's really. There's so few people who would function like this in that. There's just such moves. I know, but it's like, here's what's. This is the thing. Your moves are wild until you're pulling them off. And you specifically. Even back in the day, I remember when you would. And I'd be like, what is he talking about? And then you be in the movie, and you'd be. And I'd be like, wow, this guy's actually like, this is.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

He's.

[Jake Johnson]

It Made no sense to me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Makes no sense to me.

[Jake Johnson]

But it still works for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I didn't know what all. That's why I kept asking you during it, because I kept thinking. I told the story to my brother and I did. He said, I told my brother. And he goes, why'd you run?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, what was. It's crazy. The run's crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was like, what am I gonna do? Go back to the hotel? I'm a dead man.

[Jake Johnson]

It. It's just crazy. It's crazy. It worked, but I don't know if there's a lot of people that that version of a plan would have worked for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I don't think. Well, I also don't tell the stories when they don't work. All right, everybody, without further ado.

[Jake Johnson]

This.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace has sponsored us for a long time and we appreciate them. We use them a lot. Go to garethreynolds.com to check out Squarespace. Or if anybody out there is list listening and wants to make a Squarespace website for us for the weird here to help, we'd appreciate it.

[Jake Johnson]

Love Squarespace. I've been using Squarespace. I think as long as Squarespace has been around, every website I'm associated with. Is Squarespace easy place to put your videos? They help you find the right domain, you could do donations. They really just help you build up your brand. The SEO tools that is Search engine optimization, baby. Guess who's speaking the language. Squarespace just makes it so easy. Can monetize your content, you can add paywalls, you can do whatever you want to. So you have no choice but to go check out squarespace.com Gil sent me for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code. Gil sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This episode is brought to you by Zelle. If you need to send money in an easy and convenient way, I use Gareth uses Zelle, Eric and Steve use Zell. So we all know Zell works.

[Jake Johnson]

I have used Zelle multiple times in my life. I use a lot of times with my mother to buy something she has her eye on and she's saying, oh, I can't afford that. Even if it's a matter of getting her on a plane, giving her money, the Zell is a great way to do that. Zelle is all about those matters that matter most. From sending a little something to your long distance bestie's birthday, to saving the day when your niece's car breaks down. Zelle is there when you need to send or receive money so you can be there when it counts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so. All right, and then is the caller here yet or not yet?

[Natalie Hollis]

No, still not here. A little bit late.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Natalie, what a day you're having.

[Natalie Hollis]

I know. Well, we also had a caller drop out that was scheduled later and I had to. They got cold feet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really?

[Jake Johnson]

Really?

[Natalie Hollis]

Yes, they emailed at least to say that they got cold feet, but can.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You tell us what you can give away their thing because we don't know what happened.

[Natalie Hollis]

So she was calling because her friend is newly divorced and she has a tramp stamp. Tattoo. Back tattoo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gareth, do you have a tramp stamp? I'm not making a joke. Go on, Natalie.

[Natalie Hollis]

I honestly would not be surprised.

[Jake Johnson]

It's the not making a joke that makes it work.

[Natalie Hollis]

Okay, I'll tell the rest of the story because the caller just arrived, but I'm not making.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so Paige, stick with us. We're about to jump into another call.

[Natalie Hollis]

Okay, so her friend's newly divorced. She has a tattoo, a tramp stamp. And she wants to get a full Disney tattoo over it of her kids and her at Disney theme, like full back. And she's really excited about it. And the caller's husband said, you got to tell her not to do that. She wants to get back out there and have a dating life again. No guy's going to want to see that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great email.

[Natalie Hollis]

Sexual position.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Agree.

[Natalie Hollis]

It's just terrible. So you gotta tell Her. And then the caller was like, I really don't want to tell her. She's so excited. It's so awkward. What do I do? But then she backed out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So will you email her? Can I? I'm gonna email her.

[Natalie Hollis]

Yeah. It's in the email now that I know this. Really tattoo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Give me one quick second. Gareth, let's send an email and then we'll just include this to the end of this follow up and see if she comes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is a newly divorced friend?

[Natalie Hollis]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so I'm writing this. I'm doing a reply all really fast.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey.

[Natalie Hollis]

Yeah, I didn't reply to her yet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is Jake. We are currently recording that.

[Jake Johnson]

Just help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your friend told us your story. Please join today. Please, lady, please.

[Jake Johnson]

Spam language.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not with please lady, please.

[Jake Johnson]

No, you're right. That's certainly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I said this is Jake. We are currently recording. Nat just told us your story. Please join today. Please, lady, please.

[Jake Johnson]

Please, lady, pleases. Absolutely. I mean, obviously Elvis took over the email.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And send.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, all right, let's check.

[Natalie Hollis]

I'm gonna let in this new caller.

[Jake Johnson]

Great. Hello.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi, welcome to the show.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Hi, thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

Where are you calling from? What's your name? What's going on?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I'm calling from Florida and my name is Jordan.

[Jake Johnson]

Hi, Jordan.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

And hi. So what's going on is I have a friend and she started out as a mom friend. She is recently single, so she wanted to do something different and took me to a tattoo consult, consult with her. And I thought it was a really sweet idea. It's Disney theme and it's of her and her two kids.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait a second. We just emailed with you.

[Jake Johnson]

I was waiting for you to click it on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you know that?

[Jake Johnson]

No, but I just. As soon as she started, I was like, I think I know what this is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You came on. So now, thank you for joining us.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I did. I'm so nervous. I don't want her to hear. I don't want to hurt her feelings.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, let camouflage everything.

[Jake Johnson]

We'll be respectful and but keep going. But I think we've alluded to this problem and thank you for joining us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you. I truly appreciate you coming on with.

[Jake Johnson]

The email Jake sent towards the end, we thought got a little while we're gonna be able to bait you. But we really appreciate it. Okay, so. So your friend went to a tattoo artist, Disney themed as the concept. Recently divorced.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yes. Yes. And it's. I think it started out small that the guy said it has to go full length of her back.

[Jake Johnson]

Like the tattoo guy said that the tattoo.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, because it's a cover up.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. A cover up of another tattoo.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Another one? Yeah. Not.

[Jake Johnson]

So your friend, recently divorced, is going to cover up a tattoo with a Disney themed tattoo. And the tattoo artist suggests that this needs to be a big tattoo to cover up what's going on.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yes. And her kids are in it too, so why don't. And so I thought it was very sweet.

[Jake Johnson]

What is the COVID.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

It's like a tramp stamp.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And then what is the tramp stamp of?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just kind of like Burt Reynolds.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Exactly. We gotta get rid of that. Yeah, just like a twirly design.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I dated a woman in high school who had a turtle tattoo that was rainbow flag. That I remember. I remember it was in a private area and I thought, yes, that's my concern. Think about a turtle here.

[Jake Johnson]

Was it front?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Front?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, front. See, it's the. The tramp stamp. Obviously had. It's like those tribal tattoos around the bicep or whatever. Like those had a moment where that was whatever, and then eventually it all just kind of becomes muck. Yeah. You're sort of like, that was a weird Hardy. It's like Ed Hardy tattoo.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know, but you got it in your body. Because I remember that the turtle down there, I just, I remember having a thought of, like, it definitely took me out of the moment.

[Jake Johnson]

I was like, yeah, no, I guess.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Things are going great. And I had to think, first of all, significance of a turtle. Second of all, why has it got a rainbow shell?

[Jake Johnson]

But by the way, when you're down there, I mean, finding a complaint, you know, you're really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm one of those guys.

[Jake Johnson]

You're a nitpicker.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, my brain, I can't stop it.

[Jake Johnson]

I. I really do. Whatever. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm a horse. If I, if I go, if I'm a horse out of the blinders, I'm going like this. What's the left?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, no, see, I would just be like, all right, I'm in the end zone, baby.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I wish I had that. I don't.

[Jake Johnson]

So, okay, so she has this tramp stamp, unfortunately, and her plan is to cover it up with a Disney tattoo that involves her family. That's what's going on.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

And I thought it was sweet. Told my husband and he's like, oh, no, you have to stop her. And I said, well, why? And he kind of said what you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Guys just said, but he's right.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

And she starts dating again. This is going to be well, well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because it's it's in a position that you're going to see it a lot in a, if you're, you know, having sex in that position and seeing kids at all. Take away even Disney. Just seeing kids.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

And someone else's kids.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Any kids. It's, it ruins everything.

[Jake Johnson]

It's, it's the idea. It's like imagine if during sex someone was like, hold a picture of my family. It's insane. So, okay, what, what is the design exactly?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

It's kind of them looking at the castle.

[Jake Johnson]

The Disney castle at Disneyland.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's bad too.

[Jake Johnson]

And it's so, it's kind of the back of them sort of wistfully looking up at the castle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's their backs. So no faces.

[Jake Johnson]

I just don't, yeah, it's still two holes. Can you do toho some for doggy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But can you tell their kids or do they just look like little. Okay. No, they're babies.

[Jake Johnson]

Look. Okay. So, and so you were in support of this. You go to the tattoo artist, you're like, this is a great idea. You tell your husband, your husband's like, this takes doggy off the table.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But this isn't with her, Gareth.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

And she's a mom friend, so it's awkward. Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And has she gotten the tattoo yet?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

She is scheduled.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Very soon, but she is scheduled.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think here's what you need to do, Jordan. And I'm a big believer in this and if you hear any of the we're here to chats. You know, I think a friend is somebody who calls people out. I don't think a friend is somebody who just agrees. I think if you actually, the people I don't love are care about, I'll never comment to their face. I don't care. But if you love somebody, you got to tell them if you think something's crazy. That's the job. She's about to do something that is a huge mistake and if she wants to do it, God bless her. But I do think it is your job to say to her before she does it, you're putting children in a position that if somebody you're having doggy style sex, they have to look at kids. I talked to my husband about it. He said there's no bigger boner killer in the world. If she says, I don't care, go with God. Blame him. Blame a man.

[Jake Johnson]

I, I, I, I think you have his angle on it is right. If you're gonna do it because it's the truth. It's not like you sat there like Normally. Right. A call would be like someone. You would be there and you'd be like, this is a terrible idea. And we would suggest blame your husband for this opinion, but this is actually what happened it you supported it, but then you got the man's pov. I think it's at least worth getting off your chest. If she wants to go ahead afterwards, then you can. But.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But literally, how can we help you confront her? Because we have to.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

And I'm very non confrontational. So if there's a way to do it, easy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about a text?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you comfortable with the text?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, I could text.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What if. What if we. What if we put a text together and I don't want you to send this one because we know you're nervous, we know you're sensitive and we. Some callers we know we can push the lady with in Iowa who ran across the street with the bounce house. She was a wild woman. This is not this call.

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we are not going to send until you are 100 ready.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But do you want to open up your text while we're doing this? And don't put any number up there. So you're just writing a blank text right now.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's just form one and then if you like it, you throw her name, you hit send. If you don't, you hit save draft.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You comfortable with that?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, I can do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now we're talking. And then when you're ready. Gareth, you want to start?

[Jake Johnson]

Sure. Ready.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Ready. When you're ready.

[Jake Johnson]

All right.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, so I know you're scheduled to get the Disney tattoo pretty soon, and while I was really supportive, there is just one thing I wanted to bring to your attention before you went through with it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This works.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Tell me when you're ready.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay. Okay. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

I was talking to husband's name. He pointed out that having a tattoo with your kids on your back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is a known faux pas for men. Would maybe not maybe, but it's but how about in man code? That's a big no. No.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

He said it's mainly because of the sexual position, but also in general. It could hinder the new single you a little bit.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Again, you do whatever you want.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think the idea sounds cool, but I wanted to give you a male point of view.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah. Okay. I'll add that also.

[Jake Johnson]

What the are you thinking? No, never mind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so what do you think? What are you thinking when you with this text?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, I think that's pretty. Yeah. I might take out the sexual part.

[Jake Johnson]

Edit, whatever. Edit whatever. Take a look at it, whatever. And then maybe read it back to us with your version of it.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Oh, okay. Let's see. So I said, hey, I know you're scheduled for that Disney tattoo soon and while I am super supportive, there's one thing I want to bring to your attention. I was talking to husband and he pointed out that having a tattoo of your kids on your back and in man code is a no no. Mostly because of that part. I want to maybe fix the dating.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is a no no. But you don't have to say anything more after that is a no no for Avi. You could also write for obvious reasons.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, try that.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay. It's an obvious no no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

His. From his point of view.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay. Yeah. Or the future guys point of view.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Exactly right.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay. And it could hinder the new single you a bit. I thought the idea sounded super cool, but I wanted to give you his perspective.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. And then I like the thing that Gareth was saying, like obviously do whatever you want. I just wanted to let you know what I heard, give a heads up from what I heard from my husband.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay. She might not have thought of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like I didn't exactly.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay, I can do this.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. And then, I mean again, take a minute and you know, read it and think, you know, nice. I think it is. It's. What's very good about it is that this is your husband's opinion, but also.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A friend to all is a friend of none, so. And the kiss ass to everybody is nothing. You're actually being a friend and sometimes, sometimes it's too much.

[Jake Johnson]

You called because you don't want to live with the guilt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And this kind of gets that off of you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This could save this woman's back.

[Jake Johnson]

This could.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This would be. This is going to be a huge mistake. By the way. Cover up the tramp stamp a little smaller. Do that on your arm. You want a tattoo of the kids looking at a Disney castle.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, there's. There's other ways to cover it up. But also you don't even have to cover it up. I mean, you're covering up like you're like a stain with oil. This is a worse cover up. The COVID up here is worse than the crime.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Exactly. Right.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yes. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You want to read it back?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yep. All right. I said, hey, so I know you're scheduled for that Disney tattoo soon, and as I'm super supportive, there is one thing I wanted to bring to your attention. I talked to the husband and he pointed out that having a Tattoo with your kids on your back in man code is a big no no. For obvious reasons from his point of view can hinder the new single. You. I thought it sounded like a great idea and you should still do it if you wanted to. But I just had to let you know what he thought.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what? Can I make an edit?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like this. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

I would take out the part where you. The end. Say you think you should do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree with you, Gareth.

[Jake Johnson]

I think you're selling in the other direction still. So just say. Just, you know, you can get there. So read that last sentence again.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

So I shouldn't say. I thought it was a super. I thought it sounded super cool, but is that true? But maybe you could add. Do it in a different part of your body.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, but no, I think we're entering a world. We don't like it just. I would just get rid of that whole clip.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. What's the ending? If you lose that line, it could.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Hinder the new single you.

[Jake Johnson]

Just a heads up for what it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Worth, I think that's right. I'm thinking this is pretty good.

[Jake Johnson]

I do too. How are you feeling, Jordan?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I feel great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Jordan.

[Jake Johnson]

Natalie. Were you gonna jump in?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Natalie Hollis]

No, I wasn't. But I mean, she can't. She can't do this because you can't cover up a huge cover up tattoo. Like, there's no going back. This is the last chance. So she has to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's gotta maybe think about it.

[Natalie Hollis]

She's gonna think about that.

[Jake Johnson]

It feels impulsive. It feels like she's single and she's like, this is a problem.

[Natalie Hollis]

I don't think you're supposed to get these tattoos right after you have a big life change too. If she's recently divorced, like, sit on in a minute.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jordan, are you good to send this text now?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, I can do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's do it. Let's do it while we're on and then we know we're all in this thing together.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Great. I just sent it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. And how you.

[Jake Johnson]

Good work, Jordan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How you feeling?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Still nervous, but better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. First of all, thank you for calling in.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You admitted you were feeling nervous, but then you did it. We appreciate you. I think the audience appreciates you. Well done.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. And I don't think you overstepped. I think you're a good friend here. I really do.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Thank you. All right, I'll let you know. All right, take care.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This episode of We're Here up is brought to you by Angry Orchard. Welcome to Freaky season. Angry Orchard has partnered with Jason Universe this fall to bring some new sweet treats. A new limited edition Glow in the Dark thriller pack that includes four unique flavors including Blood Orange inspired by the Jason Special collectible Jason Crisp Apple 16 ounce and 24 ounce cans.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Hi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can we get your name please?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, my name is Ashley.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ashley, where are you calling from?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I'm in San Diego.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love San Diego. And about how old are you?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Actually I am 34.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, can I talk to Gareth for a quick second? Ashley, do you mind?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, no, sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I'll tell you really fast, Ashley, this is our third call today and they've both been a bit of a. It's been tough sailing, has it not.

[Jake Johnson]

Slog, sure, we got there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But, but you know, we, we didn't do. Gareth.

[Jake Johnson]

Huh?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ask a lot of weird personal questions at the beginning.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Ashley, if you were going to write a memoir.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Oh my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And what would the title of your memoir be?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I think maybe like I finally made it or Looks like I made it. I don't know. Horny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Finally made it.

[Jake Johnson]

It's good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Looks like I made it.

[Jake Johnson]

It's an airport book.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it is.

[Jake Johnson]

As you see that in the Hudson News.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then, Ashley, if we turn that book over on the back. What did you make? This is a story of what.

[Jake Johnson]

What have you made?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I. I really made it big. At the end of my story, I think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good. On the back of the memoir. I finally made it. It's. I really made it big.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And what.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Exactly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's a quote from somebody who read the book? What's something they're saying about this book?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Oh my God. Shockingly light hearted and a bit erotic. No, I'm just kidding.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't know. Say no more, Ashley.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I might find.

[Jake Johnson]

No more Ashley.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I'm just kidding.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Shockingly light hearted and erotic.

[Jake Johnson]

Light hearted and erotic. There's not a lot of times people combine those.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, if we're talking about Restaurants and fusion.

[Jake Johnson]

That's a good fusion mix is taco and Indian.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is a per. That. I would say Korean and taco.

[Jake Johnson]

That's Korean and taco.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Indian is not for me.

[Jake Johnson]

That existed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, not for long.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't believe it's with us anymore. I think you're right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So therefore it's a bad fusion, brother.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep. Absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. So, Ashley, you finally made it. You're shockingly lighthearted. And you're erotic. You're kidding. What's your favorite band of all time?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I love the Beatles. They're probably my favorite.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You like John or Paul better? Or George.

[Jake Johnson]

Or George is an option.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I like George.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You like George?

[Jake Johnson]

He's.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you like about George?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I just. I think he's, like the best lyricist. He wrote the best songs in my opinion.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gareth, who do you like the most?

[Jake Johnson]

It's kind of become George, not Attack.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Who do you like the most?

[Natalie Hollis]

John? I guess strong stakes on them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's like, I don't know. I just listened to Green Day. Back to you, Ashley.

[Jake Johnson]

Jake, who are you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

John 100.

[Jake Johnson]

John's great. If I had to pick one of the main two, John for sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

John 100. His solo stuff is insane. I love him.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was just listening to he and Paul when they wrote their songs, being mad at each other after.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Love it.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, yeah. The tension.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. How do you sleep? Hey, Ashley. Yeah, we do. What can we do for you today?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

So, yeah, I have a problem. My family likes to do a lot of, like, weekend vacations to, like, Palm Springs and kind of like more Northern SoCal. And we. But we ended up in a timeshare situation where we booked a hotel room not knowing it was a part of this plan. And then my family did the presentation so that we can get a free weekend stay, like, another time for a huge discount, which was great. And we did it already, and everybody had a great time, but now everyone's already done it. And the pressure kind of is on me to attend one of these timeshare meetings so that we can get another discounted stay somewhere else. And it's like a huge discount, like $800 off or something. And I don't have the constitution to face these timeshare salespeople because I'm kind of a people pleaser and I won't have any support system. So I really need somebody. I guess what I need from you guys is help getting out of this sales presentation in a way that is, like, irrefutable. And they will let me leave, but I Still get to go on the vacation and get the perks from attending. This is like a 30 year kind of agreement.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So in this. Ashley, this is. You're trying to get out of it from your. We're trying to get you out of it from your family.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yes. Because they will definitely think of me as like pathetic if I can't go in there and just like hold my foot down and be like, no, I'm not interested.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And explain this to me because I don't get it. So.

[Jake Johnson]

So I think she has to go to like a sales pitch and then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You get 800 bucks off.

[Jake Johnson]

And if she sits through the sales pitch, she's going to get an $800 discount.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put. Put cotton in your ears and put duct tape over them and just sit there and pretend you can't hear and you can't speak to.

[Jake Johnson]

To that point. Well, is there anything else, Ashley? That's pretty much the question. Or is there any.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

No, that's pretty much it. I just need help escaping these people to.

[Jake Johnson]

To what Jake's starting with. I think we just have to kind of build an insane character that these people can't sell. Don't. That they're just like, they're gonna throw in the towel pretty early with this person. So maybe that gives you some fun and maybe we just gotta stack the deck with some kind of weird quirks, I think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Ashley, I'm kind of. So let me just get it clear before we pitch something. That's not going to happen. If you show up at this sales pitch, your family gets $800 off, correct?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah. And they're like huge rooms and they have amazing pools for the kids. It's a really awesome deal. You just have to sit through their.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like major hustle and every family member has to do one sit through. That's kind of the deal.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

It's not. Yeah. I mean, we don't have to do it like the. They're not making us, but like everyone's already done it so we can go on this trip. So it's kind of like, well, are you gonna do your part? And so we can go on another trip. So it's more pressure for my family, not like I don't have an obligation to the timeshare people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you should. First of all, Ashley, I think you should do it. I don't think we should get. Yes. I don't think we should try to get you out of it with your family. They'll let you out, but what are they letting you out of? It's Your obligation to the family. It's an 800 discount.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Out.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think what Gareth is totally right on is we just got to get you to be shockingly light hearted and not erotic at this thing or very erotic.

[Jake Johnson]

We got to make you a bit of a. I, I would say erotic's gonna keep you there a while. I think we've got to make her a bit of a train wreck. A lunatic enough that she's there and they do believe her to be a real person, but train wreck enough where they go, yeah, I don't. This is not going to happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The kind of thing. Here's what we're looking to have happen, Ashley. They finish early because your questions are so bad.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay, I can do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If they start and go like, so we're here, you raise your hand right away and you go like, question. So what we're looking to have you do is you get credit for being there.

[Jake Johnson]

Is it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But they ask you to leave so that they can sell the others.

[Jake Johnson]

Is it a big, like, do I. Is it a big one on one or. I'm sorry, is it a big, like group thing or is it kind of a more one on one or is it kind of both?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I think it's like dependent on just who's using that timeshare property for that trip because it's also a hotel. So I don't, I don't know if it'll. I don't think it'll be a big group. There might be like another person or two. But it's. It's like, I don't know for sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, before we get. And what are the obligations in order to get the 800, do they have to, like, you do you. Or you do just have to literally show up and check a box?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

So you show up and then you check a box, but then they don't let you leave until you like sign some document saying that you attended.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is perfect.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

And during that time they really push you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is perfect. So all we need you to get there is you. If you sign it, you check the box and you sign their documents, your family goes off vacation.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And if, if it's one minute of. They go get her the out of here. It's fine.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, I think so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So let me give you one thought. I heard a rumor that when Johnny Depp acts, he wears a nearly invisible earpiece in his ear. They have these so for actors. So sometimes they'll put. I've had him before. Where you're acting with an actor off screen and they're saying things to you, but you've done it, probably. Gareth, when you're doing, like, the wedding show, like an IFB or whatever, you can't see it. It's the same color as your ear. But he will be listening to, like, weird Ethiopian J and scenes. And it's why he. In those pirates movies, he's always walking around and being so weird. He's listening to music. So another actor will be like. They'll be like, hey, did you get the gold? And he won't respond. It's not. He's not making a choice. Then he'll go like, oh, the girl. He's blasting insanity in his ear. So, okay, maybe we do something like that, Ashley, where we put something full volume in your ear. So when you go and you sign in, they go like, hey, how you doing? And they go like, how long are you thinking of staying? You quite literally can't hear them. But you know that there's a silence. You gotta talk. So whenever there's a pause, say something.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay, yeah, I could definitely do that.

[Jake Johnson]

I like it. Can I. Let me step it up a little.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake, please.

[Jake Johnson]

And I think maybe have a little fun for the show too, please. What if we send her in there, her hair's down over her ears, and we talk. We have her put an airplane and we Roxanne it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And we set it up and you go in and you let us tell you what questions maybe the best catch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You'Ve ever had in the history of our show.

[Jake Johnson]

And then we record it and we. And so you're. We can hear them. And we tell you what we want you to ask in return for the time question, though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gary Worth.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's my favorite pitch you've ever had in terms of idea.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, we asked her memoir, but in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Terms of execution, how do we do that?

[Jake Johnson]

We. We work with her to schedule it. When we're going to do a record, right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We have a phone call.

[Jake Johnson]

It's just a phone call.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Interesting. That attack is this just. She then keeps her phone. She's on, like, the little pocket or her hand right in front of her.

[Jake Johnson]

What we do is we're doing a session. We tell her when she's done with the tour part or whatever that part is, she says she has to go to the bathroom. She goes to the bathroom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She calls.

[Jake Johnson]

We get it set up, she goes. She sits down with the person who's going to try to close her. And she lets us feed her whatever we want to say. And that's how we get her out of it.

[Natalie Hollis]

We can try. I'm worried that you guys won't be able to hear the other person in front of her. And I'm worried that the scheduling of this is not going to be as easy like you have to be at the. It's when you check in or something. Then you arrange during your visit for the timeshare presentation. Right?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, but I, I do think they're a little bit flexible because we've had to change it before.

[Natalie Hollis]

When is this going to happen?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Well, I haven't booked it. I have to look something. So I was waiting to talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think it's.

[Jake Johnson]

They let me schedule it. We've. We've been to these. They let you schedule when these calls are or when these meetings are. If we had her, if in a two hour block, we're like, hey, we're gonna, you know, do a session.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We tell whoever. Give us a second.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're asking you to be quiet for a little.

[Jake Johnson]

We have a thing that is. Timing is key. We're gonna put a pin in your call. We have to talk to Ashley.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think we gotta try it.

[Jake Johnson]

I do too.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And, and guess what, Ashley, if it's a disaster and we can't hear it, all we need from you is full commitment.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I will 100.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So whatever. We. If we can't hear it, we're just gonna say stuff and you just gotta repeat it without laughing.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay, I can do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This will get you out of it for sure.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Oh, perfect. I'm really excited now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This will work. And if it, and if the, and if it's weird and the, you know, we got. And we can't hear them, we'll just give you a bunch of non sequiturs.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Well, yes. Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My dog's name is Stephen.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Oh, I have a dog. I don't think he could deal with that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. My favorite food is mayonnaise.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you know that Johnny Depp, when he acts, puts an earpiece in that plays Ethiopian music? That's why he's such a strange Jack Sparrow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And that comes from them saying, are you looking to travel this fall?

[Jake Johnson]

I'm very.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

I want to tell you a Johnny Depp fun fact.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't, you don't even do transitions.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They go, are you looking to travel this fall? And you go, my favorite food is mayonnaise.

[Jake Johnson]

I love mayonnaise. And then I hate mustard. Isn't that funny?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they go, great, so we have something right now, end of November. And you go, I Like the sun. I like Mars. I like Jupiter. I hate Venus.

[Jake Johnson]

They're starting to crack down on shoplifting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

At Target, so I think this is a very easy one.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I can definitely do it. I'm stoked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, let's try it. We'll see what happens.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Perfect. Thank you so much. I was, like, so thrilled to speak to you and I'm really looking forward to doing it again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, guess what, Ashley? You finally made it.

[Jake Johnson]

Ashley, finally.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I finally made it.

[Jake Johnson]

Awesome. Well, very excited for this.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

This. All righty. Thank you so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

Sweet Jesse here. This next call is a follow up to episode 167, I feel barfy. You're a followup. We don't know who you are. So do you want to just tell us your name and give us a. A reminder?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, yeah. My name's Alex. I called with an issue about my doll, Virginia. The crocheted one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, the big doll you made. You're an artist.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, oh, yes. Right? Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then we were gonna send it to Berg, and then you were gonna put it in a table like it was a coffin, I think. And then you were gonna create dating sets for it.

[Jake Johnson]

She's.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is all that correct?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

That was. Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much. There was a lot of ideas floated, but yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what did. What did you end up doing? What was our pit? What was our pitch? And what'd you end up doing?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, so the pitch was. So started off with the dating websites. They didn't work. Like, I just got, like, blocked on all of the dating websites. She just wasn't. People weren't ready for Virginia. On. On the dating websites.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you create. Did you create a profile for it?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I did, yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can we see it?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can you send it to Natalie?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I think I sent through photos. Okay.

[Natalie Hollis]

It was a little while ago. Let me see if I can find them. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. And then keep going. Elks.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, yeah. So they didn't work. And then. So I tried. I tried going on the Instagram and then once the podcast went up, got a lot more like people. And then I kind of. It was actually overwhelming. Like, a lot of people really wanted Virginia and I didn't know what to do because I was getting a lot of messages.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alex is a shockingly big audience. It's a weird little engine, but it's got a pretty big base to it.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I forgot it was America's number one podcast, you know?

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my goodness gracious Jesus. How do you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You made it pole dancing. But her head's crazy. And she's. Alex, you're out of control. It said, Virginia is officially up for adoption. It is a naked doll strapped sexually to a big white pole. And her sexual.

[Jake Johnson]

Everything with Virginia's sexual, it's just kind of baked in. And her arms are tied around the pole in a knot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then it says, looking for the longest term relationship possible. You're insane. And why is she so high up on the pole?

[Jake Johnson]

There's. There's quite. And are you in an office?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Oh, that was my. That was my art studio.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

For a while.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, Alex. So you post this insanity and a lot of people said, I'm interested. Wait. Get in touch with name, age, rough location and living. Your intentions with my daughter. This is so weird.

[Jake Johnson]

That last one is obviously.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll tell you what, if you have a daughter, you're not advertising an adoption like this.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. You're not throwing her naked on an art studio.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's going on here, pal? I say I'm always on the side of the collar swaying.

[Jake Johnson]

Dude, chicks jumping. I'm jumping. I'm still with you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Best intentions with my daughter. You fall like a stripper.

[Jake Johnson]

Rough location and living situation. Your intentions with my daughter?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

No, I think that that was actually a really important note to me because without people's intentions, how do I know who I'm sending her to? You know? Okay, I need to make sure that their intentions are awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you, Alex, did you get some of the intentions? Oh, six. Oh, perfect.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I do.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gareth is going to read the responses we got, Alex.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Oh, Gareth is going to read them. Yeah, sorry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's make it easy on you.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. First here, I intend on surprising my friend with your daughter. She will be loved and cherished. She will always have loads of fun with all of us gals when we get together.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

The next one is I plan to dress her in jerseys, shirts of my favorite sports team so that we can cheer them on together. That seems fun. I think she would bring a nice energy to the crib. Maybe we crack open a cold one and talk about the good old days. Go for a long drive and take in the scenic Virginia views. Maybe bring her into D.C. and snag some pics of her with the monuments to Charlottesville to Seer University. I plan to respect her and just let her vibe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like to.

[Jake Johnson]

I like to a lot. The next one. One, dress her up in holiday garb. She deserves to feel dolled up or just any clothes. That's my own commentary. Two, she will be included on Christmas Cards as Virginia is wonderful and deserves to be the topic of conversation at our house, she will be a conversation piece. And the last part is sappy answer coming in. Here in Indiana, I think Virginia could be a great way to normalize women's anatomy and health. And lastly, I have an indie sketch comedy group called My Totally Real Girlfriend. My pitch is simple. Virginia would be my group's mascot and our Totally real girlfriend. At every live show, we would have her fully presented in the front row and she would go down in LA sketch comedy history. Picture it now. Her name and lights V. Well, they spell Virginia. Eager fans waiting to get their picture with her. From the photos, it's obvious she oozes a charisma and has a natural stage presence. We would be honored if you would allow us to be the next space that Virginia gets to shine her light.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So everybody, if you're in la, check out the indie sketch comedy group called My Totally Real Girlfriend. A little shout out to sketch comedy groups. Gareth and I were both in a bunch of them. It's a hard grind, but keep it up. So you got these six. What do you think, Ale? Where were you at?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, so I, I liked. I think there were two of them. I really liked the, the feminist one. I was like, yeah, cool. But then I also really liked the sketch comedy group. I felt like that would be a nice kind of full circle place to send her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She'll get a lot of attention. It'll keep the bit going for a long time.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And the. But then I got an email from. Okay, so I'm not sure because the email doesn't exist anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Now I don't know, but allegedly. So there was the curator from the Museum of Art in Alabama, the Gadsden Museum of Art in Alabama.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

And said they want her as a part of their private collection. And I was like, okay, hold on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we're gonna read it. We're gonna read it. It says reach out if interested. Then you wrote high Ray. That sounds like an amazing. That's how we see. And then Ray wrote back, yes, please send it over. If you decide to send her to the museum, Virginia would become part of the museum's collection. It would not be on display at all time, but would be stored in our archives and we would rotate the work. We would need a shipping estimate should you decide to proceed. I heard about it and we're here to help. We have a phone number. Natalie, will you call that phone number?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alex, is there anything else in there? Did you follow up after that to Ray.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

No, I. I haven't yet because I. I haven't been able to get a shipping estimate and then I got nervous.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, but this is where you would like it to be, correct?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Correct. I think so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Guys, we wanted.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Is that where you guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, absolutely. This is great. Yeah.

[Natalie Hollis]

Okay, so I'm gonna call this guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's call Ray and discuss and see if what he wants to do with Virginia. I could start us, Gareth.

[Jake Johnson]

Sure.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Hello, this is the Gadon Museum of Art. How may I help you? You.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'm looking for Ray, please.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

For me to get your name and number so I can get him to call you back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, is he not around? We're just returning. He's interested in some of our artwork. This is Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds and Alex. Alex is the artist who made Victoria. Ray's very excited about her. Virginia. Virginia.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

I think he stepped out. That's why I need to take your numbers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dang it. Okay, Natalie, will you give the best number he can reach us at?

[Natalie Hollis]

Yeah, can you ask him to give us a call back at.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Okay, I'll get him to call you back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks so much. The sooner the better. If possible, we'd really appreciate you.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

As soon as I see him, I'll run and get him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Does he have a number? Can you text him?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yeah, give me just a second.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You mind texting that while. Can I.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Cat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

His cell phone number is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'll just call him. We appreciate the help.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

You're welcome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, we're gonna. We're. And then just so you know, we're calling them right now to too. Okay, thanks so much.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

You're welcome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have a great day. Thanks.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Bye. Bye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Natalie, you want to try that wildcat, see what happens.

[Jake Johnson]

Get him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What did I say wrong? What did I call the dog?

[Jake Johnson]

Victoria.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Victoria. Virginia. Yeah. Okay. Hello? Hey, is this Ray? Yeah. Hey, Ray, it's Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, man, how's it going?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. Hey, how you doing, bud? I'm good, man. We have Alex C. On the line with us. We would like to speak to you a little bit about Virginia at the museum. Okay, I'm ready. How you feeling about this wildcat? You're going to display this thing? Yeah, I mean, it's not going to be on display all the time, but.

[Jake Johnson]

When we have shows that are relevant.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'Ll put it out on display. What are you going to do about underpants? I mean, we're going to display it the way the artist wants us to show it. Okay. And Alex is an artist. Alex, how would you like it displayed?

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

In her natural glory, Nude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so, Ray, Alex is figuring out how to get an estimate of shipping. She has no idea how to do that.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

That.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know how the post office works in Australia.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

No, there's just a maximum shipping capacity that I'm trying to work with. So I'm having to make a few modifications.

[Jake Johnson]

Modifications?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got to get a. A stunt sculpture. No, we want the whole thing, Alex.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

No, no, you'll get the whole thing. I'm just trying to figure out if I can, like, compress her in some vacuumed. I don't know. I'm trying to figure. Okay, I work six days a week, so just bear with me, please.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. And then for the museum, is there any night that you would think that could be an opening that maybe, you know, we could help promote and maybe Alex could try to find her way at it?

[Jake Johnson]

Alex in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, definitely let you know as soon as it gets here. We can put it on the schedule of when it's going to be on display. I love it. We will post about it on our Instagram. We will do a hard push to get everybody around to check that out in the museum, but anything would help us. Yeah, we love it. Well, you're helping us, and so you're helping give this, our project in Virginia, a really nice home.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Definitely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it'll be in storage in the property of the museum for in perpetuity. Incredible. Alex, you called into a podcast about what to do with this doll. How do you feel about this as a sol.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Guys, I think you can ring the bell. I am very, very happy.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we ring it already?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ring it. It's going to museum. All right, well, this is a happy ending. Alex, follow up with us and then please follow up with us about the when it's going to be shown at the museum and anything we can help do to post about it and try to get people visiting.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Oh, thank you, guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Get her in the mail. Get her in the mail.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get her in the mail asap.

[Jake Johnson]

One more dilly dallying. Come on now.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Get her ready for the premiere, for God's sake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you, guys. All right, well, we appreciate you both. And both of you guys follow up with us, please.

[Jake Johnson]

Will do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you, guys.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

Thank you so much. Bye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ Helpful Pod Gmail.com. and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help. You can go to our [e-mail] hereto help pod to see our entire catalog.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grim Productions executive producers Rob Hoffman, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis associate producer Jesse Thurston Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller theme song by Oliver Rowley the COVID artwork is by James Fosdike animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Caller (e.g., Jordan or Ashley)]

All video episodes of season one are.

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Available now on Patreon, and season two.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th.

[Natalie Hollis]

Go to patreon.com heretohelpod.