219: We're Here to Chat Vandy Camp Special

Summary

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Podcast Summary:

We're Here to Help
Episode 219: We're Here to Chat Vandy Camp Special
Release Date: October 17, 2025
Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Main Guest: Eric (recurring caller/friend, Vandy Camp attendee)

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Episode Overview

This special episode centers on Eric's in-depth, first-person report from the highly anticipated and somewhat infamous “Vandy Camp”—a live event hosted at Dick Van Dyke’s Malibu home. The discussion is a mix of comedic riffing and genuinely heartfelt storytelling about celebrity fandom, event logistics gone awry, and the weirdness (and joy) of meeting a living legend at 99 years of age. The hosts dig into every aspect: the shuttles, the crowd of Disney adults, the Q&A quirks, the emotional highs and absurd lows, and most importantly, whether Dick Van Dyke is truly enjoying himself or being held captive by his own event.

The episode is a wild ride through event logistics, fandom, interpersonal drama, and surreal celebrity moments, all filtered through the comedic and self-deprecating lens of the hosts and Eric’s storytelling.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Vandy Camp Hype & Community (01:26–03:30)

• Listener Demand: The episode opens with the hosts acknowledging massive listener interest in the “last chapter of Vandy Camp.” Jake and Gareth jokingly banter about Dick Van Dyke "riding your coattails" and the fervor of the event’s fandom.

  • “That’s not a tribute to me, that is a tribute to Mr. Dick Van Dyke.” — Eric (01:47)

• Attire Banter: Running joke about Eric’s detective-like “Mannix jacket” setting the undercover tone for the event.

2. Arrival Chaos & Shuttle Drama (02:40–08:14)

• Initial Impressions: Eric navigates confusing logistics at a yoga studio shuttle pickup, gets picked up by Chris Isaacson (the event’s main organizer), and notes “Mary Poppins extras” vibes among attendees.

• Neighborhood Not Thrilled: The spectacle creates friction with local residents, as dozens of costumed Disney adults converge on the gated Malibu community.

• Shuttle Snafu: Only one shuttle is running, leading to tension and delayed arrivals. Eric notes event co-host Arlene Van Dyke (Dick’s wife) is upset about the chaos.

  • “Chris said there was an incident at the gate and he couldn't get through... poor Chris sweating, doing this makeup show.” — Eric (06:11)
  • Some paid guests missed out or were late, with Instagram comments and live comments reflecting the commotion.

3. Event Entry & Odd Dynamics (09:10–15:28)

• Eric’s Villain Arc: Eric, candid about his “mad email” demanding a refund from Chris when Dick was once absent, is now regarded as a minor antagonist in the fandom.

  • “That’s on me and my anger issues and my unreasonability... that we have to look inward.” — Eric (08:18)

• First Come, First Serve Seating: Eric scores a prime seat near the stage with a 50-year-old “child” and older parents, amused by the average attendee’s age and the surreal social dynamics.

  • “A child of 50 is a shocking line.” — Gareth (11:56)

4. The Main Event: Dick Van Dyke Takes the Stage (12:08–18:52)

• Showtime: Dick Van Dyke, nearly 99, sits front and center, cheerful and charismatic. Before the Q&A, he leads a singalong of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

  • “15ft in front of me, beaming out like the sun, friends, is Dick Van Dyke... biggest smile on his face.” — Eric (12:08)
  • “He has the biggest smile on his face. He is all there. He's dancing in his seat.” — Eric (13:32)

• Hosts' Skepticism vs. Eric’s Optimism: Gareth and Jake needle with dark jokes about elder abuse and Dick being “held captive,” but Eric insists Dick’s enthusiasm is genuine.

  • “Eric, you believed him to be there of his free will at 99?” — Gareth (13:48)
  • “Absolutely, yes, at that point. There's gonna be a little snag later.” — Eric (14:04)

• Event Setup: Outdoor courtyard, large house, Mary Poppins-themed staff and volunteers, elaborate but logistically challenged.

5. The Q&A Debacle: “Conversations,” Not Questions (19:01–28:00)

• Q&A Ruined by Fans: Instead of concise questions, audience members deliver rambling, emotional monologues and trauma dumps, often incomprehensible to Dick due to hearing and memory challenges.

  • “Here it is a rambling, narcissistic dialogue tribe with some trauma dumping and an answer.” — Eric (20:01)
  • “He can hear someone from far... he was lit up like a Christmas tree and so darn happy.” — Eric (17:57)
  • “He said my memory is bad and I can't hear anything... I'm not a bar to hold it up against. But I'm just letting you know that right the now while we're–” — Eric & Steve (22:43)

• Arlene’s Role as Protector: Arlene translates long stories for Dick, sums them up in a sentence ("Grandfather dead, mother sick, loves Mary Poppins"). She’s firm about shutting down autograph requests and managing fan expectations.

  • “Arlene hilariously just sum[s] it up: grandfather dead, mother sick, loves Mary Poppins.” — Eric (24:05)
  • “I wanted to hug Arlene for stopping the autograph request in its tracks.” — Eric (30:23)

• The Funniest Viral Moment: When asked about his 100th birthday, Dick jokes, “God, wouldn’t it be funny if I didn’t make it to 100? It was like, if I died.” Most fans are horrified; Eric laughs out loud. This becomes mild tabloid fodder.

  • “It is the thing that got put in clickbait... Dick Van Dyke says it would be funny if he didn't make it to age 100.” — Eric (28:04)

6. Aging Grace, Performance, and Aftermath (32:21–36:16)

• Dick’s Vitality & Closure: Despite frailty, Dick stands, waves, and exits with dignity, protected by Arlene and security. Eric leaves “feeling incredible,” while some fans grumble about lack of group pictures.

  • “He just grabs his cane, pushes himself up, stands and waves. And then they just take him through the garage.” — Eric (32:39)
  • “I truly left there feeling incredible.” — Eric (33:21)

• Fanbase Critique: Eric is sympathetic to the fans meeting their hero but notes their lack of restraint made things harder for Dick and muddied the event’s tone.

  • “All of you just punished him and made him listen to your diatribes. That’s his energy." — Eric (33:25)

• Arlene & Chris’s Spat: Arlene blames Chris for shuttle issues via Instagram Live; Chris points to security gate problems. Underlying tensions are aired publicly.

  • “It’s so clear. There weren’t enough shuttles.” — Eric (34:03)

7. Reflections, Lessons, and Reinvention (36:16–End)

• Eric the Antihero: The hosts and Eric riff on whether he’s the event’s "villain" or secret hero; they suggest Eric should run the next Q&A for its much-needed discipline.

  • “The person I would bring to the next Q&A, who would definitely do it pro bono... would be Eric.” — Gareth (37:11)

• Dick’s Real Take: Dick’s performance, humor, and energy are lauded by all—he’s “still got his fastball.” Despite physical challenges, his spirit shines and he addresses contemporary issues, urging positivity and condemning hate.

  • “The key for me is not hating. I choose love every single day and I don't understand why people hate.” — Eric paraphrasing Dick (34:43)

• The Hosts’ Final Word: Having lost their cynicism, Jake and Gareth assert that “our read was dead wrong”: Dick is loving it, is “basically like a 75 year old," and the event is worth seeing (if it ever happens again).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Logistics & Surrealism

  • “Neighbors... do not look thrilled to see what looks like the extras holding tent for Mary Poppins being ushered into their neighborhood.” — Eric (02:59)
  • “A family of three is now sitting with this giant guy who immediately just turns his seat opposite to them. And I'm dead in, locked in with Dick Van Dyke.” — Eric (14:24)

• On Dick’s Humor & Mortality

  • “God, wouldn't it be funny if I didn't make it to 100? If I died?” — Dick Van Dyke, via Eric (28:06)
  • “He still, believe it or not, has his fastball. I mean, it was a hot show.” — Eric (29:10)

• On Arlene's Protection

  • “She’s like, he's not signing that. Put it away. And then they started to move. They wouldn't take no... and she's like, put it away. And I wanted to hug her.” — Eric (29:42)

• On the Event’s Emotional Impact

  • “I left feeling completely inspired. And I did not expect it. I didn't think it would be that great... he seemed like somebody that was like 75 years old that still had his fastball. And he ran that show.” — Eric (34:43)

• Hosts’ Comic Spin & Satire

  • “Dick Van Dyke is not only held at gunpoint, there's probably a car battery hooked up to whatever he's sitting on... and Arlene, without question, is Al Qaeda.” — Gareth (37:32)
  • "Arlene and I shared a kiss." — Gareth, in his recap parody (39:45)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment Summary | |------|----------------| | 01:26 | Introduction to Vandy Camp, listener demand, and Eric’s attire | | 02:40 | Shuttle fiasco and neighborhood reaction | | 04:44 | Eric’s egg salad anecdote and shuttle delays | | 09:10 | Eric’s “villain” status and refund email saga | | 12:08 | Arrival at the event, seating adventure | | 13:32 | Dick’s entrance and opening songs | | 19:01 | Q&A ruined by attendee monologues, Arlene’s protective role | | 24:05 | Arlene’s hilarious question summaries | | 28:04 | Dick’s viral joke about not making 100 | | 32:21 | Dick’s dignified exit and attendee reactions | | 34:43 | Dick’s positive life philosophy and anti-hate message | | 36:16 | Reflection on Eric’s role, the hosts’ change of heart | | 37:11 | Gareth’s pitch for Eric to run future Q&As |

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

• Language & Tone: The conversation is conversational, irreverent, self-mocking, and peppered with affectionate jabs at fandom and showbiz culture. Eric’s warmth for Dick Van Dyke is clear; Jake and Gareth alternate between skepticism, goofball antics, and genuine enthusiasm.
• Final Message: Despite initial worries (and a healthy dose of satire about elder celebrity “cults”), the event turns out to be wildly inspiring. Dick Van Dyke’s vitality and humor shine, while the main complaint is about unruly, self-absorbed fans during the Q&A. The episode affirms the joy of meeting your heroes in all their flawed, human glory.

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For listeners: If you missed Vandy Camp, you’ll come away with a vivid sense of the chaos, the community, and the magic of seeing a legend light up a room (courtyard)—plus plenty of laughter at the human circus around it. If you ever attend, consider keeping your monologue short and your autograph request in your pocket.

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Transcript

[A]

This is a headgun podcast. Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

[B]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[A]

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[B]

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[C]

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[C]

And we are back on a Friday because why, Eric?

[A]

Well, we're finally going to have the last chapter of Vandy Camp.

[C]

What did the people do when I asked them yay or nay? How did the people of the world respond?

[A]

Eric? A lot of yays. A lot of yays. That's not a tribute to me, that is a tribute to Mr. Dick Van Dyke. I don't know Aaron, a lot of yays. I think DVDs riding your coattails at this point. Japanese reindeer coattails. Oh, that is. This is the Mannix jacket. This is rainwear. Looking great again.

[C]

We also saw a comment on there, Eric, that I sent to you, Eric, looking hot in the Mannix jacket.

[A]

We sure appreciate that. Thank you so much. Thank you.

[B]

Great. That Eric is wearing a Mannix jacket. A detective. Someone investigating scenes there might be a little out of water on and he is really. He's gone undercover in Vandy Camp and he's blown the lid off the whole thing.

[A]

Everybody please enjoy your first drink. Now sit back, have a pee can because we're about to take you to Vandy Camp.

[C]

Attaboy.

[A]

So I drove out. I was harried, I was nervous. I found out everybody was upstairs at a yoga studio. I started to go up there and then I see a stream of top tier Disney adults coming down. At which point I turn Direction to get back in line for the shuttle, expecting there's going to be four or five shuttles there to get us to Vandy camp, at which point I see one and I see a guy get out and I realize it is Chris Isaacson who we've gone back and forth with. And there is one shuttle and he is driving it. So we pull up. It is Dick Van Dyke's house. There are neighbors that are kind of craning their necks and do not look thrilled to see what looks like the extras holding tent for Mary Poppins being ushered into their neighborhood. And we should also say here that there is a gated community.

[C]

Gareth, your thoughts?

[B]

My thoughts. I am in love with the story and in love with your disposition. You handling the. This is crazy. But it's horrendous. I mean, in every way, it's horrendous.

[A]

This is a.

[B]

It's a tragedy. It's horrendous.

[C]

Eric, you're on both sides of the fence. Head of the spear. Then you'll go.

[A]

And to me, whatever you're thinking right now, no me, this is pretty much just another Sunday.

[B]

But that's, you know, Jake. Jake, that's.

[C]

I know.

[A]

Eric.

[B]

That's Donnie Brasco doing a line of blow because he's around.

[A]

I'm undercover.

[C]

Yeah, he's undercover.

[A]

True.

[C]

It's a guy who in the mafia, dressed as the mafia, doing a line of blow around.

[B]

No wire.

[C]

Case. He's a beautiful wife at all. He has a job.

[B]

He's not in the. He's not in the bureau.

[C]

Take that rain jacket off and go home.

[A]

You're not in the Mafia.

[B]

I. I guess what I'd thought of was the neighbors. Yeah.

[A]

Community.

[B]

And I never thought of the neighbors.

[A]

I bet.

[C]

I never thought. I didn't. I didn't assume it was a gated community. I thought he had little on the area.

[A]

Well, we're going to get back to the neighbors and the security checkpoint very quickly because as we talked about the other day, I get let back in and I have a big smile on my face. I'm sitting there housing egg salad, having a Fitz Willy Fizz, which I am drinking right now.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And just waiting. And they're waiting for these shuttles to show up.

[B]

Eric, very quickly. Temperature of the egg salad.

[A]

Great, great. Didn't. Was not concerned about being sick. Caterer knocked it out of the park. This was a good egg salad with water.

[C]

What answer did you expect there?

[A]

When Eric's in this mode, Gareth, I'm happy, I'm excited. I'M also thinking about.

[B]

I thought, I thought maybe a little warm, but I figured I could make it.

[C]

I'll promise you it was a little warm.

[A]

It was a tiny warm. It was room temp, but good. Also. While I'm back there, I have my face. Truly. I'm not hanging out with anyone else. I'm mostly by myself. I'm also thrilled that we called Jake's bluff and he wasn't there. Because I can imagine he was sitting in this backyard. The look on his face, what he'd be saying to me. This would be the lowest point of our friendship.

[B]

He wouldn't have made it on the van.

[A]

So we're there in the backyard a while because we are waiting for Chris and his shuttles because it's 10 minutes in, 10 minutes back. And a little spoiler later on this week. The Instagram live. Arlene definitely seemed to have some issues with Chris and was saying, I can't believe there weren't more shuttles. At which point Chris said, and I'm willing to believe this guy Chris said that there was an incident at the gate and he couldn't get through. So I can just see Chris sweating, doing this makeup show. It's Dick Van Dyke's house and some Malibu security officers. Like, you're bringing 60 people in. No. Or somebody in front of him. But Chris is sweating. But there were shuttles that were not there by the time the thing finally started.

[C]

Oh. So some people paid and didn't get.

[A]

In or got in late. And I watched Chris like bend over backwards trying to accommodate them, getting them scones. And they were also the people up front. So they probably also got there a little late. Top tier that that table was not full. Other people came in and filled it. Then Chris kicked them out later when they showed up and people were putting in the Instagram comments like we were at the yoga studio on time. There's no reason we weren't there. It's basically now people doing what I'm doing of now, trying to get another free show out of it because there was an issue with the show. He wants another one.

[C]

He might be right.

[A]

Oh, I don't need anything else.

[C]

We're jumping to the end a little bit too fast.

[A]

I'm just telling you. Arlene is not happy with the shuttle situation at all. Arlene is keeping Dick alive and Arlene is Dicks wife, Arlene Van Dyke. And Chris is defending himself in the comments during the Instagram live, saying, it was an instant at the gate. Arlene, I couldn't get in like almost like they're not totally talking. And Arlene is not happy because I think it was their friends that couldn't get in. So. And then they had to kick everyone out of that front table because it was like squatters rights, Disney adults, they're just grabbing up front. So I can just imagine poor Chris, who I really like. Trying to get to the idea now. You really like Chris? I sure do. Chris and I have a lot more in common than I care to admit. The only big show I've ever organized in this town was an. Was a birthday party for my 90 year old friend and a 98 year old Eva Marie Saint canceled on the day. Like I have a lot more in common with Chris.

[C]

Isaac, what about you and Chris and all those harsh emails going back and forth.

[A]

That's on me and my anger issues and my unreasonability. That's on me being a dick that we have to look inward. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. He ripped you off? Essentially, yeah. You refunded me. Yeah.

[B]

He didn't want to. Eric, after your mad email.

[A]

After your mad email. Yeah. That's my biggest quibble of him.

[C]

You don't say when you try to get Sybil tickets.

[A]

No, I know. I'm not ever getting free from Chris again. I don't want to. I don't want to ruin your angle, but I mean, no, no, I putting and unreasonable to say. When you bought the ticket, it said no refunds, to which I said yes. I bought a ticket to Dick Van Dyke, didn't show up. Then I took it to an 11. Kind of seemed unreasonable. Started with my friend Shanna. Called a little bit of a Dick Van Dyke villain arc. But I'm fine with this. I'm absolutely fine.

[C]

But by the way, Eric, I will say with this whole thing, I think you've become the villain to the Dick Van Dyke thing.

[A]

Oh, I'm sure. Because when we think I may not be allowed to buy tickets for the hundredth.

[C]

No way. I think, well, you're just kicking dirt.

[B]

All over this thing because he's in. It's a cult that's falling apart. Yes. It's like it's.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

It's the last act of a cold Com.

[A]

This is the part of Waco where they just got to Africa. This is the nice part of Jonestown. The Kool Aid hasn't even been thought of yet. Okay. All right. Everything is awesome. I'm a big part of this. All right.

[B]

Oh my gosh.

[A]

We're still. They're kind of talking about holding for a shuttle, and then not. And then there's some whispering. And then they're like, okay, everybody start lining up. And I'm like, what is this going to be? Are we going to line up to, like, see him in his house, people?

[B]

One by one?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Here's your 372 bucks, pal. So we just start lining up, and I'm like, are we going into the house? Is he even able to be down here? What's going on? So I jump in line, trying to get as close as I can, and they start letting us in. And you go into this, like, courtyard. And if anybody knows, Dick Van Dyke did a Coldplay video at his house. Cause that's where he's most comfortable. When this is the. A few years ago, like four or five years ago. And he danced beautifully. Gareth.

[B]

When he was in the 90s, he was in a cult, and they made him dance.

[A]

Yes, yes. That checks out. No. Yeah. And so I walk in and somebody leans to me and says, seats are first come, first serve. Grab something quick.

[C]

Who said that to you?

[A]

A Vandy Camp employee was like, very quick. They knew there was going to be an issue.

[C]

That sounds like he just went for him.

[A]

No, no, no. How big is the staff at these events? It's probably. I mean, there's a big staff, and then there's also Dick's band. The staff is probably eight to ten, I'm sure, volunteers. They're dressed, Mary Poppins stuff, and they're ready. And someone leaned in and is like, get a seat quickly. And almost nudge me to the back. But I look ahead and I see the numbers that say reserved. And then I see I'm. Believe it or not, I'm one of the few people there by myself.

[C]

Incredible.

[A]

So I look, and there's the first table that's not reserved. And there's a family of three. And I just jump and I take the first seat closest to the stage.

[B]

What's the youngest member of this family?

[A]

Yeah, it's a child that's maybe 50. And then an older parents and people had flown in, and I grabbed this seat.

[C]

A child of 50 is a shocking line.

[A]

It sure is, Big Daddy.

[B]

So then I grabbed a regular, a regular child.

[A]

And then I look before me, friends, I think we've all been on this journey. You're going to know what this meant to me. 15ft in front of me, beaming out like the sun, friends, is Dick Van Djk. And he's sitting there, his wife Arlene is sitting in there with The Dangler appears to be older than Dick, and he has the biggest smile on his face. He's nodding, smiling to everybody. And then we all kind of get situated. There's some weirdness, I can tell, with the empty tables. And then other people are filling it in and we're all sitting there and he looks amazing. And he's like, welcome, everybody to our house. And he, like, apologized for not being there and then he just. I was prepared to meet a caged animal that I'd been warned about on the van. And instead it is Dick Van Dyke. It is what I'd seen in these videos of him smiling. He's like, should we sing a song? And then out of nowhere, he leads. The band leads in and he starts singing. Super Califragilistic xp. This is the biggest bad acid trip. No. Yeah, it was a great acid trip. No, he has the biggest smile on his face. He is all there. He's dancing in his seat.

[C]

Can we stop for a second, Gareth, please?

[B]

Amount of red flags. I mean, dancing in his seat.

[A]

Yes. Well, no, that's not the reveal. There's a lot of videos online that everybody else can go and find this stuff. All right, Eric, I sent any of it to you because I didn't want to spoiler.

[B]

Eric. He is 99, two months away from 99. And yeah, in all sincerity, you believed him to be there of his free will at 99.

[A]

We are going to get into that. But absolutely, yes, at that point.

[B]

Yes, at that point. Very interesting.

[A]

There's going to be a little snag later.

[B]

One more question, please.

[A]

I'm here all day.

[B]

The energy at the table that you sit at, when you sit down, welcoming. A little strange doubt by you.

[A]

A little strange doubt that a family of three is now sitting with this giant guy who immediately just turns his seat opposite to them. And I'm dead in, locked in with Dick Van Dyke.

[C]

I will say something I respect about Eric, is that moment doesn't make you feel uncomfortable.

[A]

No, I want the best seat for Dick Van Dyke.

[C]

It's a wild trait that I really respect that you don't care about that moment. You'll just sit with the family.

[A]

No. And when I turn my seat away from them, so I'm facing Dick, they were. And there were. There were scones and finger foods and cookies. I don't. I'm not. I'm not about. I'm just saying what was there. So there was the illusion of people sitting together. And it's called Van Dyke High Tea and Van Dyke High Tea Van Dyke, this is. How much effort was that? No, that. That the tea was free, but. But a lot of people didn't get it.

[B]

That's the Kool Aid, Steve.

[A]

They encouraged you. That's the Kool Aid that he gave everybody but Dick. He had his.

[B]

You know, life's full of those little moments when you're sending money and it can make a big difference. So why not do that with Zelle?

[C]

Gareth and I send money to each other via Zelle when we are in the hole to the other guy. The easiest way to do it is Zelle. We both use it. We both know that it works. Pay and or request. Request money. Send me some money via Zell. Why? Because you owe to me a little rat. Time to send me the money you owe me. My brother, the great Danny J. And I do something for each other that to us, it's sincere and it's sweet. We always send each other money as gifts, and we do it randomly and we use Zell. We'll just every once in a while, he'll get $7 and 50 cents from me with a big subject that says, you deserve it.

[A]

It.

[C]

And even though he sends me money back, I know in his heart of hearts for a moment, when he saw that $7 and 50 cents on a Tuesday morning at 7 before work, he thought, my brother loves me. And sure, when he sends me less back, do I think my brother loves me less? Sure, maybe a little.

[B]

Whether it's a big moment or a small moment, Zell is here for you, so you can be there for them when it counts. Send money with Zell.

[C]

So you're sitting there, it's about 80% filled. The front.

[A]

It was sold out. It will all be filled eventually. There was shuttle on the gate.

[B]

Well, there was only one van that.

[C]

Sat six, but Dick's already come out at 80% capacity and started singing.

[A]

He. When we come in there, he's already sitting there and I'm in Stone Cold. Oh, okay. So you walk.

[C]

You walk. I thought you wanted the big reveal chair.

[A]

No, I saw Dick Van Dyke and.

[B]

Still they had to get him in there first. They had to, like, put him in a wheel, prop him up. So, yeah, saw. How awful.

[C]

So in the room he's in, is it a theater? Is it a living room?

[A]

No, it's outside. It's this, like this giant courtyard. I cannot explain to you how massive his house is.

[B]

Well, he's working.

[A]

Think about residuals. Like back when you really got paid residuals. Diagnosis Murder, I think, was huge.

[B]

But Eric they can't be that good. I mean, he is still.

[C]

He's still working.

[A]

No, he wants to, I promise.

[C]

All right, so Eric, keep you guys.

[A]

I've seen a lot of older musicians we know. Like, I saw Glenn Campbell and they were like, we are keeping him on the road because that's what keeps him going. He looks forward to this. The show he didn't show for Eileen's, like, we're. We're going to. Arlene said, we're really going to try to keep him going because he looks forward to these and gets excited.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

When I walked in and saw him. I understand. And I love your guys. Bits about elder abuse. And he doesn't want to be there. He was lit up like a Christmas tree and so darn happy.

[B]

Ok.

[A]

Okay. And I was so darn happy to see him. I positioned myself directly in his eyeline, 15ft away. As. As an actor, I think I'm a very good listener. And my goal then was to be the greatest active listener in my life for Dick Van Dyke and to send him energy back. And I couldn't believe I was looking at him and I was just so darn excited. So he does two or three songs and then there's just kind of a pause and she's like, so what do you think? You want to take some questions? And he's like, sure, sure. And he's smiling. And then this is where we are going to get to my biggest issue with the event. And they are planning on at least two more. And I have a feeling they'll be listening to this. So this is my.

[C]

Do you think they're listening?

[A]

I have a feeling, yeah. Chris definitely knew who I was and kind of lean and said, I'm very glad you're here.

[C]

He said that?

[A]

This is my.

[C]

Wait, hold on, Eric, when did that happen?

[A]

That happened right when I got dropped off in the shuttle.

[C]

So what happened?

[A]

I don't think there's any way. If he didn't at least Google me to see who is this psycho that's demanding a Dick Van Dyke refund?

[B]

Well, we talked about the pod too.

[A]

So I sent him a long email that you guys email.

[B]

We offered him a spot on the pod.

[A]

Right. Which.

[C]

Yes. We just went out on social media asking Dick Van Dyke to come on.

[A]

And I tagged Arlene, so hopefully he's aware for sure. He's all over. I tagged at vandymanor.

[C]

Oh, you did?

[A]

I sure did. I shared in stories and. And she's done. She's gone live about three or four times. Today. And she's gone live. And definitely.

[B]

When was the last time Dick went live?

[A]

The day I saw him. That's the last proof of life we have.

[C]

Okay, so you loved the show. Now, I just gotta know this now, Eric, because I don't want a different story at lunch. That's why I'm a little bit confused.

[A]

No, no, give it to me. I'm here for. I'm about to explain the. Where the show struggles.

[C]

But I will say this. The vibe of the Eric I'm getting right now, I'm just wondering if. If this is because you think that Arlene might be listening. You don't want to offend.

[A]

I think that bridge has been completely.

[C]

Because I don't think Arlene and Chris are listening.

[A]

No, I can promise, even if they are, they will. That bridge has been burned.

[C]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

My emails are. Chris, I promise you, I am not here looking for the. The acceptance of Arlene Van Dyke.

[C]

But. So Chris says to you when he sees you, because that's a big part of the story.

[A]

Yeah, well, he just leans in, says, I'm glad you're here, and I'm really glad you could make it. And I'm like, I got the sense he knew who I was. My name's definitely on the list to be checked in. There's a lot of security. And so I have a feeling he knew who I was.

[C]

But nothing more than that.

[A]

Yeah, not beyond that. And then this is where I'm telling you it was truly an incredible, amazing show. And I really do look up to Dick Van Dyke a ton.

[C]

I know you do.

[A]

And that's where we had a problem because they turn it over and Dick's like, sure, I'll take questions now. Something I learned when I first came to Los Angeles is that the Q and A's here are very different than the Q and A's I encountered in Portland and Spokane. There it's a question and answer. Here it is a rambling, narcissistic dialogue tribe with some trauma dumping and an answer. And so I was really hoping for the best, but these were people that had. They had to get out to Dick Van Dyke. And also. This is gonna be ammo for you guys.

[C]

Yeah. I was singing and I asked a question that went 25 minutes.

[A]

It got so bad. I did not ask a question because I did not want to be associated with people because Dick was up front early. He's like, I can't hear and I've got. I can't remember anything.

[C]

Jesus, Eric, listen to yourself. And they're gonna make him perform. And he loves it. He can't hear it.

[A]

Hey, he can hear someone. If someone from far.

[B]

You said this was one of the.

[C]

Best shows you've ever seen.

[A]

It was. I was 15ft away from Dick Van Dyke, radiant, beaming light out of him, and I was so inspired, I can't breathe. Oh, God. My memory was a classic legend being self deprecating because. Steve, laugh all you want. Dick Van Dyke's memory is so much better than yours. I'm sure it is, but that's. I'm not a bar to hold it up against. I know, but I'm just letting you know that right the now while we're.

[C]

Laughing about Eric, is. Is. He said. He said my memory is bad and.

[B]

I can't hear anything. Literally. Literally.

[C]

We were making fun of his name.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no, you're not. I know you're not. What this was was a consummate showman trying to steer the direction of the show. And unfortunately, that bus could not be steered.

[B]

Imagine if you said before a Q and A to someone. What would be the two worst things to remove from you right before?

[C]

Can't hear, can't remember. That would be it, Gareth.

[A]

But you could already tell the. Because already one song, somebody threw it out and he went, oh, okay. And he started remembering song lyrics. And then he's like, those are the last to go.

[C]

But if you can't hear and you can't remember, you can't do a Q and A two songs.

[A]

No, no, no, he can hear. He's just letting. What he can hear is what Arlene says to him in his ear or the band leader.

[B]

And like, we made 24,000 give it to him.

[C]

You just got to give it first.

[A]

Right next to him when he. When it. And It's a microphone 30ft away. He can't hear. And unfortunately, every. Not every person, 80% of people, when they said first, I want to say, you're like, this is really bad. And when I've done this, when I've been on the other end of these Q and A's and I've emceed, I said, I know we all have amazing opinions about the movie we just said we just saw. Let's keep them in for ourselves. I would have said to these folks, we're going to play a magical game that Walt Disney and Goofy invented where you aren't allowed to say the word odds because every single one of these person gave just a ramble up top that Dick couldn't hear. And he go, can't hear, can't hear. And then. So they would seriously do this thing. Like, When I was 14, my father was diagnosed with lupus and my grandmother had passed away. The one thing my father loved was Mary Poppins. And when my dad. When we went to Wichita and like, the longest thing. And then Arlene would hilariously just sum it up like, grandfather dead, mother sick, loves Mary Poppins. And he'd go, oh, okay. Then they would ask a question. His command was shocking how good he was. His memory was insane. It was. You're sitting here, a guy talking about dropping out of high school, senior year to enter World War II. Like, they bring up stuff. You go, oh, cubby broccoli, sure. You know, he offered me James Bond. He calls me up and he says, yeah. I'm like, they're already giving me hell for my accent. I used to Marry Poppins. You don't want me as James Bond. I'm up the phone. But yeah, they offer me James Bond, his memory. I wanted to ask him if I had about Colombo. I'd go, oh, yeah, Peter was lovely. His memory was incredible. And again, so much better than Steve Berg's.

[C]

Hold on. I'm trying to keep up here, pal.

[A]

Please, let's take a breath. Why are you attacking my memory? I'm not.

[C]

I'm not.

[A]

I'm getting attacked on all sides.

[C]

No, you're not getting attacked. You're just. It's a little all over the place, baby. Okay, so we understand you're defending Dick Van Dyke. It was the best show you've ever seen. He is not the best.

[A]

It was amazing. It was a very amazing inspirational.

[C]

So Dick just killed it. And then what happened?

[A]

Dick killed it. But then the stories from the Disney adults would not stop. And eventually, I was close enough to be able to hear him off mic.

[B]

How long are we talking for the. How long is the total run time of this Q and A?

[A]

The entire show lasted an hour and 45 minutes. But did you have gone long time? It would be broken up by songs, and the songs were great. Then one family said it was their kid's birthday and the kid was there. You know, the kid was like 7 or 8. And Dick organized everybody to sing Happy Birthday to him. But at one point, this one person would not stop saying how they devoted their life to charity after seeing Mary Poppins and Dick off Mike Ozer. He's like, I didn't think this was going to be a conversation. And she's like, well, it's your show. And he goes no, it's your show. And that was off Mike. And I think what he meant by a conversation is like, let him talk. Why are we listening to all these random people?

[C]

Eric, Eric, can I ask you a question, please. Dick Van Dyke said to his wife mid show, it's not my show, it's yours. Meaning she's the one that wants to.

[A]

Do this or she's the one that planned it. He was so fucking sick as I was of these people rambling and trauma dumping and talking about their life when he can't hear them. She would get in his ear and sum it up, be like, uncle died, mom died, World War II vet. A 96 year old lady was like, I used to hear you on the radio. And this was somebody who did have a memory issue because he goes, were you in Danville, Illinois? I did radio in Danville. That's how I started. And she's like, I don't know, I just know I heard you. And he's like, ah. Like he was so shockingly together and which surprised me. I didn't know what to expect out there. But the people rambling really brought it down I think for him. And that's what he meant when he said I didn't know this was going to be a conversation and that you.

[C]

Said there was something that got caught and there was an off color joke that went viral or something.

[A]

This was really awesome. And this would probably go in with Yalls point that perhaps he was not where he wanted to be. So they start going, they start going into what the next show's gonna be and other stuff. He just kind of shakes his head a little like Uncle Bill in American Movie, like. And then somebody's like well, what's yours? And he said many times he gave his wife all the credit for him living to be this long. And he rattles all these great one liners and at one point he goes, ah, if I knew I was gonna live this long, would have taken better care of myself. And then he says a line that horrified the Disney adults. And I blurted out laughing where someone's like, so your hundredth, are you gonna do another party or are we gonna be here? Malibu goes, he just kind of looked at it, goes, God, wouldn't it be funny if I didn't make it to 100? It was like if I died. And then I cackle and people look horrified that he would even say this. And it is the thing that got put in clickbait is Dick Van Dyke says it would be funny if he didn't make it to age 100. And a lot of people didn't laugh. I thought it was kind of the funniest moment in the whole thing because he gave this look. And I do think he looked at me because I was laughing. And it was just. That's his sense of humor. And he still, believe it or not, has his fastball. I mean, it was a hot show. It went viral. I mean, a 50% show.

[B]

Okay, so, Eric, so what happens to him after all of this? What is the removal process? I'm gonna make a guess. Please, everyone leaves before he's taken off stage.

[C]

No, no, he's gotta get out of there.

[A]

Dude, it was am.

[C]

If it was me. Pulled me out by my fucking ear.

[B]

Is he walking? Is he walking?

[A]

Yeah. Well, near the. Somebody gave a two minute rambling thing about their whole family gathered around a VHS tape and watched Mary Poppins. And this is where I saw how Arlene is his bouncer. And then they pull out the VHS tape like it's a great honor for Dick to sign it. And he looks at him, kind of is like, what? And. And then Arlene just goes, he's not signing that. Put it away. Away. And then they started to move. They wouldn't take no. And like, I just wanted to do any. And she's like, put it away. And I wanted to hug her. And then other people wanted a picture. And there's like, well, we're gonna get pictures. And then it was clear that he'd been punished by these punishers enough.

[B]

Hug who? Arlene.

[A]

I wanted to hug Arlene for stopping the autograph request in its tracks. Also, as much as I'm ripping everyone for their trauma dumping and. And unfiltered, they're meeting their hero for the first time. And I. I was definitely did that When I met Neil Young at the In N Out Burger, I definitely did not. Did not keep myself. Why I moved to la, brother Scott. My Jeep got robbed. They took my. I did it too. So I'm no better than them.

[C]

But do an honest impression of what you said to Neil Young when you saw him.

[A]

Neil, you. This is my buddy. We moved down. Well, first of all, he just did this concert called Greendale and he played a whole album. People hadn't heard yet. And so they mostly booed. I walked in to the In N Out Burger, not knowing he was in there. And then he's looking around at signs. He's like, ah, animal style. What's animal style? And then I just go, oh. And he looks back at me in my Greendale shirt. And he just goes, ha. Starts laughing. And then I charge over to him and Scott Sayre, and I just start telling him how much we loved Greendale, which is kind of the only thing he wanted to hear at that moment because he just got booed at the Greek Theater. Like, we loved it. We love Sun Green. Carl, Michael. God, Greendale rules Neil. And then I started telling him how his music made me move down to la, all this other stuff. Then his tour manager came in. I'm like, I'm about to get tased. This is about to stop. And then he's like, guys, why don't we go outside and take a quick picture? So Neil took a picture with us. He's beaming in the picture and happy. And he got a kick out of me. But I definitely did the same thing these folks did to Dick Van Dyke.

[B]

But sounds different.

[A]

Neil's not different. You were. I was. And now I go out of my way to never bother him again. And I've had great moments with him at concerts, but, like, my friends open for him, my friends in his band now. And I don't go backstage. I want to keep it how I left it, and I don't want to intrude. I like that because I intruded on a lot of people.

[C]

So Dick had a great time. Arlene ran a great thing. Chris did really good. He made one mistake. The problem was the fan base was a little bit pushy, but other than they got him off, Arlene did a great job of getting him off into security. And then what happens? Everybody just leaves?

[A]

No, he even. I'm like, how are. How are they going to get him out of here? I don't know if he can walk. I don't know anything. And he just grabs his cane, pushes himself up, and then stands and waves. And then they just take him through the garage. And then I very quickly am like, I got to get an early shuttle. So other people are milling around trying to get stuff from Dick. Or, like, is he gonna get pictures? You said in the email we're gonna get pictures. The email said. Somebody even showed the email. Like, the email said, we're gonna picture we paid 700 bucks. And then I just go back. I know there's not gonna be many shuttles. Then I go back with Chris Smart in the second shuttle. So there's not too bad of a wait. And then I go back, and I truly left there feeling incredible.

[B]

What's the vibe on the shuttle ride back? People are over the moon.

[A]

Yeah. Mostly there's Some discussion that he didn't do pictures. But I want to be like. All of you just punished him and made him listen to your diatribes. That's his energy.

[C]

What is then what is Arlene mad about? You said she was doing lives and. And you might not like you.

[A]

They started coming to the stage, wanting pictures, wanting autographs. And then. Oh, the live later was. She was like, well, we didn't have enough shuttles. Chris. We didn't have enough shuttles. And then he's putting in the comments. Arlene. They stopped me at the gate. Arlene. The gate wouldn't let me through on the fourth shuttle. I was waiting there forever. We had enough. It's so clear. There weren't enough shuttles.

[C]

So what is. So here's Mike. What is the. Because you've been texting us for about a week. Can't wait to tell you. Holding it in. What are you holding in? Just that he did a good job.

[B]

But he was there.

[A]

Dick Van Dyke ran that and put on a great show.

[C]

The thing you're holding in is that he crushed.

[A]

That's why when he said. I didn't expect this was going to be a conversation he made. Why am I hearing all these people? Yeah, his memory was amazing. It was shocking how good he was. The stories he told, the inspiration. I'm also. He got a little bit political and I was here for it. I thought it was just awesome.

[B]

What'd he say?

[A]

He'd give these little lessons. He's like, the key for me is not hating. He's like, I choose love every single day and I don't understand why people hate. He gave a rant about anti Semitism. He just said, you have to focus on the positive every single day. It was basically like Stein tology. What you'd expect from my great grandfather if you were up there. His life, what he thinks of. And I left feeling completely inspired. And I did not expect it. I didn't think it would be that great. I didn't know what. What he was capable of. But he seemed like somebody that was like 75 years old that still had his fastball. And he ran that show like.

[C]

Well, that feels like. I think the takeaway is then happy ending. Dick did a great job. I don't know why Arlene would be upset with you at all. So if she's got tickets for you, she should definitely hook you up. You didn't say one bad thing about her. I think Chris seems like he ran a great festival. I will speak for all of us when I say, it seems as if our read is dead wrong. He loves it. He's passionate. He's basically like a 75 year old. He has his fastball. He could not be doing better. The only downside to this entire event is people talking at a man who can't hear and can't remember but where Eric's coming from and where we're coming from. The premise of this show is we're with the caller. And on this one, Eric was the caller. Sounds like Dick crushed it. Everybody, if you get a chance, go see the next Vandy Camp and then let's make this the last time we ever talk about.

[B]

Can I make a.

[A]

Let.

[B]

Allow. Allow me to make a.

[C]

Cause I am personally done with this.

[B]

We left it.

[C]

We left it.

[B]

We left it all out on the field. And my pitch would be this. Eric has not only embedded himself, he's been a positive force in the world of Vandy Camp.

[C]

Yeah, agreed.

[B]

The only issue is he's not a villain. The only issue that you alluded to is the Q and A was run maybe a little improperly, maybe a little too polite. What they should have in that role is someone not only with a passion for Dick Van Dyke, who understands what he's comfortable answering and not answering, but someone who not only can set rules, but lightly and politely enforce them. Which is why, if I were at all involved in Vandy Camp, the person I would bring to the next Q and A, who would definitely do it pro bono for love of the game, would be Eric. I would suggest Eric runs the next Q and A. If they're interested, we have contact. If they are listening.

[C]

Wow, what a crazy thought you just had. That's the whole propaganda of this entire.

[A]

Episode, was that, Gareth, you're pretending you just.

[C]

And Steve's like, wow, that's a great idea. He should think it's been propaganda. No, listen, it's just a sales pitch. I did not realize we were gonna spend an hour. He was auditioning.

[B]

No, I will, actually, just to move away from North Korean propaganda, I fully believe that Dick Van Dyke is not only held at gunpoint, there's probably a car battery hooked up to whatever he's sitting on where they are elect. They are electronically stimulating him when he falls short of an answer. And every time he has to sing Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. We know those testicles have a little bit of feeling left in them and they're getting zapped. And Arlene, without question, is Al Qaeda. However, my personal feelings aside, Eric would be a fantastic liaison from crowd to the God Dick Van Dyke.

[C]

Gareth, I'm going to ask you before we get out of here, will you retell the story of Dick Van Dyke as Eric from your point of view? Do you mind doing it?

[B]

I will do the synopsis version because we're not going to do another hour. Jake the day was flawless. We got in a van. Sure there were some problems, but the energy inside of there could have powered it with no gasoline. The only issue there was the Gestapo gatekeeper who kept giving Chris the business. Chris, a new close friend. Someone I would not only call an amigo, but a brother. We went to Vietnam together. That day I walked in, I ate an egg salad sandwich that was colder than the energy of the people who I sat at the table with. With a young child aged 58 years old. Dick came out. He rocked. He hit the set list. He knew where to hit his marks. The only issue was these Disney princess adults who made everything about themselves. Not only was I sick of it, there might have been something in the egg salad. It might have been a little warmer than I alluded to earlier. I did do a tight spew in the corner of the Maddox jacket. Thankfully I still had kerchiefs from the 70s detective show in there. They absorbed him like a sponge. They made them different back then. My brother Dick was carte. I got in the early van out of there. Chris and I made a secret handshake. We've been texting. There's a strong chance, strong chance that I will go outside of the union and work the next Q and A for the DVD party. And Arlene and I shared a kiss.

[C]

Everybody, thank you for listening. We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPodmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] hereto help pod to see our entire catalog.

[A]

We're Here to Help is produced by.

[B]

Rabbit Grim Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis.

[A]

Associate producer Jesse Thurston Editing, mix and.

[B]

Master by Chris Faller Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fossil, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[A]

All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th.

[B]

Go to patreon.com heretohelpod.