Podcast Summary: "We're Here to Help" – Episode 228

Title: Perverts! & Chickens Are Dumber Than Dirt (With Lennon Parham)
Date: November 10, 2025
Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Guest: Lennon Parham

Episode Overview

This episode is a quintessential mix of irreverent comedy, heartfelt advice-giving (qualified or not), and freewheeling tangents. Jake and Gareth welcome special guest Lennon Parham—actor, comedian, and Jake’s former co-star on “Minx”—to help them field calls from listeners in sticky personal predicaments.
The show’s two main arcs:

• One caller seeks a creative solution after losing a treasured family wedding heirloom.
• Another caller looks for help (and perhaps absolution) after encouraging her neighbor to adopt a giant, perpetually escaping pig.

Amid the advice, the hosts and Lennon deep-dive into behind-the-scenes “Minx” memories, joke about nudity and prosthetic penises, riff on family dynamics, and ruminate on the intelligence of chickens. The tone is loose, affectionate, sometimes profane, and always playful.

Highlights & Breakdown

1. Lennon Joins the Chaos

Timestamps: 01:17–15:51

• Jake ribbing Lennon about her Zoom settings:
  “You do the weird thing with your Zoom where you block the background.” (01:22, Jake)

• Lennon and Jake reminisce about working together on “New Girl,” where Lennon played opposite Bill Burr under Jake’s first direction.

• Quickfire discussion of “Minx” moving to Netflix and the rarely discussed second season:
  “No disrespect against Starz, but no one that I know watched that second season.” (04:41, Lennon)
  “I never saw the second season.” (04:51, Jake)

• The trio descend into an extended, hilarious riff about male nudity on “Minx”:
  “What I remember about that montage is I do remember a couple. . . it just seemed to be pubes.” (07:43, Jake)
  “If the bush is the buns of the hot dog, I didn’t see the meat.” (07:50, Jake)
  “There were some tiny little dicks in that montage.” (05:44, Lennon)

• Lennon earnestly reflects:
  “I wish that I had seen that montage as, like, a tween... It would’ve taken a lot of the heat off, like, the fear of the penis.” (05:51, Lennon)
  The guys demand clarification, leading to a candid and goofy discussion of adolescent sexual anxieties.

2. Advice Segment #1: The Missing Family Wedding Heirloom

Timestamps: 15:51–41:01

Caller: “Kylie” (Phoenix Metro, a pseudonym)

Problem:
Kylie lost a blue, lace heirloom handkerchief after her wedding/divorce—a hand-me-down that every bride in her family has used. Her cousin is about to get married, and the family will expect Kylie to pass the heirloom along. She’s dreading having to confess she lost it.

Discussion & Suggestions:

• The hosts and Lennon propose several solutions:
  • The “Fake Lizard/Replacement” Option:
    “Let’s call this the fake lizard. Let’s get you a handkerchief we beat up... You just go, ‘Here it is.’” (19:16, Jake)
  • The Blame-the-Ex Option:
    “What if you said to your cousin, I think my ex was such a dick that he jinxed it, so I want to start something new.” (28:22, Jake)
  • The Tall Tale Option:
    “What if you sent an email to everybody in the family? ‘FYI, my house was robbed ... they took my jewelry, my underpants, my socks, and the handkerchief.’” (21:35, Jake)
  • The Witch Hex Option:
    “You could say my friend is really weird and she’s really into witch stuff ... she went and did a spell and she burned that handkerchief.” (30:55, Natalie, producer)
• Lennon urges honesty at first, but Jake counters:
  “If your thought is walk in a straight line, you’re not calling us. She’s thinking, ‘How do I get out of this in the weirdest way possible that just might work?’” (24:31, Jake)

Roleplay (35:11–39:44):

• Jake and Lennon act out how the conversation with the aunt might go if Kylie confesses the handkerchief was lost in a (possibly fabricated) burglary.
• Lennon, as the anxious but supportive aunt, exclaims:
  “Oh, my God, they were perverts! A bunch of— I hope you reported it. Send me the police report.” (36:02, Lennon as Aunt)

Eventual Consensus:

• The team encourages Kylie to get ahead of the reveal. She’ll call her aunt, confide the story about the missing/robbed handkerchief, and engage her aunt in creating a new tradition together—thus saving face while respecting the family legacy.
• Kylie agrees and promises to update the hosts on how it goes.

3. Advice Segment #2: The Runaway Pig (“Frankie”)

Timestamps: 45:21–65:10

Caller: Monica (“My real name!”) from Charlotte

Initial Sidebar:
Monica vents about her boundary-challenged parents, but the real concern is the neighborhood pig.

The Dilemma:
Monica convinced her neighbor, Brian (50s, in recovery, chicken owner), to adopt Frankie, a 300-pound pig from animal care. Frankie repeatedly escapes, roots through neighbors' yards, and has become a minor local celebrity—with a dedicated Reddit thread and abundant goodwill but also some understandably frustrated neighbors.

Notable Quote:
“She keeps escaping and she’s causing a lot of ruckus in the neighborhood... She has a Reddit page now because she keeps getting out so often.” (47:52, Monica)

Key Context:

• Frankie is social, likely bored/lonely, and possibly acting out due to unmet emotional needs.
• “Chickens are dumber than dirt.” (54:25, Lennon) becomes a running joke and unofficial episode title.

Solutions and Comic Detours:

• Gift Frankie a buddy:
  “Maybe the pig is lonely. Maybe you need another pig.” (53:33, Lennon)

• Community pig-sitting:
  Jake pitches mobilizing the Reddit community for shared playdates or scratch sessions to keep Frankie engaged.
  “It takes a village to raise a Frankie.” (62:20, Jake) Gareth: “Entertain Frankie more, open Frankie up to new experiences... because the last thing we want in a city named Charlotte is to do anything bad to the pig.”* (61:44, Gareth)

• Build a better enclosure:
  The group jokes about the handyman neighbor trying everything but an electric fence, and how perhaps making Frankie’s life richer is a better solution than imprisoning her further: “I would say rather than trapping Frankie more, let’s free Frankie’s brain.” (64:38, Jake)

Action Plan:

• Monica will post a message on Reddit—crafted with help from the hosts—explaining Frankie’s backstory and inviting the neighborhood to take part in a pig enrichment plan.
• The hosts record a message to include on Reddit, blending earnestness and absurdity:
  “We’re kind of opening Frankie up to new experiences… If you have a family, come see Frankie… we want the pig to be happy.” (61:44, Gareth) “Lennon had a great thought: maybe the pig was lonely or bored because she’s trying to get out, get involved in everyone’s business, and maybe she just needs visitors.” (61:27, Lennon) “I can make you love me if you don’t.” (62:33, Lennon, singing for comic effect) “Get that pig some visitors. Cause chickens are dumb as dirt.” (62:44, Lennon)

Other Notable Moments

• Gareth jokes about sleep divorces: “My wife and I are going through… sleep I Love Lucy style. Yes, exactly. Clear boundaries. We had a sleep divorce.” (02:58–03:10)
• Riff on prosthetic penises used in TV: “The hardest was my penis goes all the way up to the top of my butt crack when you fold it over.” (11:24, Lennon pretending to be Eric)
• Multiple fake pitches about where the handkerchief went: Madonna, burglars, witches, etc.
• Running gags about “tossed salad and scrambled eggs” and Frasier:
  “This song has a whole new meaning. Frasier. How dare you.” (22:53, Gareth)

Notable Quotes & Time Stamps

• On “Minx” and Nudity
  “I wish I had seen that montage as a tween. It would’ve taken the pressure off… like, the fear of the penis.” — Lennon (05:51)

• On Family Traditions & Lies
  “If your thought is walk in a straight line, you’re not calling us. She’s thinking ‘How do I get out of this in the weirdest way possible that just might work?’” — Jake (24:31)

• On Chickens
  “Chickens are dumber than dirt.” — Lennon (54:25)

• On Escaping Pigs
  “It takes a village to raise a Frankie.” — Jake (62:20)

• On Embracing Community
  “If there was a neighborhood I could take my kids to... every Saturday for an hour and a half, nothing to do. 10:30 till noon. Let’s go see the pig.” — Jake (63:55)

Episode Structure & Flow

• 00:00–01:17: Ads, promo, Lennon joins show
• 01:17–15:51: Banter, “Minx” stories, male nudity talk
• 15:51–41:01: Advice Call #1 — Kylie & the Lost Heirloom
• 41:01–45:21: Ads/transition
• 45:21–65:10: Advice Call #2 — Monica & the Escaping Pig
• 65:10–end: Wrap-up, show credits, new “Minx” Netflix plug

Summary

Episode 228 of "We're Here to Help" delivers on its promise of dubious but heartfelt guidance through two memorable listener calls—one about family secrets and wedding heirlooms, another about rural animal antics gone suburban. Jake, Gareth, and Lennon Parham offer a chaotic medley of practical ideas, wild lies, role-plays, and occasional wisdom dressed in comedy. Their digressions on TV nudity, prosthetics, sleep divorces, and animal smarts punctuate a breezy, joke-heavy, and empathetic hour.

If you’re looking for actionable advice… well, maybe don’t—unless you need a reason to laugh about telling your aunt burglars are actually perverts who favor vintage handkerchiefs, or how a pig’s emotional needs might unite a whole neighborhood.