236: ROCKET MONEY BEST ADVICE EPISODE 4 (with Steve Berg)

Summary

We're Here to Help – Episode 236: ROCKET MONEY BEST ADVICE EPISODE 4

Host: Headgum
Guests: Steve Berg (special guest), callers Max, Talia ("Tally"), Mikey, Anna, Kelsey, Kyle
Release Date: December 3, 2025

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Episode Overview

This “Best Advice” installment features Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds joined by actor Steve Berg. The trio takes calls from listeners who each share the greatest piece of advice they've ever received. Amid irreverent riffing, impressions, and endearingly chaotic humor, the group mines genuine wisdom and celebrates the quirks of friendship, the weirdness of growing up, and the little things that help us get by—including, unavoidably, the show’s sponsor, Rocket Money.

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Key Conversations & Advice Highlights

1. Birthday Antics & Impressions with Steve Berg (00:47–08:10)

• Kicking Off with Chaos: Steve Berg opens by “singing” Happy Birthday, blending joy with bits of stand-up riffing. The guys roast each other about attention-loving, their energy, and general podcasting mayhem.
• Childhood Bits: Steve reflects on why he's always been popular with moms: “They got the keys to the kitchen, baby.” (02:41)
• A Parade of Impressions: Caller Max steals the show by performing spot-on impressions of Eric Edelstein, Steve Berg, Gareth, and Jake—much to everyone’s delight (05:09–06:47).

Memorable Quote:
“Do you want to know why Steve Berg has always been so warm to moms growing up?... They got the keys to the kitchen, baby.” – Steve Berg (02:29–02:41)

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2. Best Advice Calls

a. Knowing When to Shut Up – Max’s Story (08:16–11:51)

• Context: Max shares a lesson from his early wine sales career, involving a disastrous dinner where he argued with his boss. Afterward, a friendly mentor gave him this gem:
  • Quote: “Arnold Palmer once said, sometimes what’s more important than knowing what to say is knowing when to shut the fuck up.” (10:10)
• Hosts' Reflection: Jake and Gareth agree, noting this is wisdom “you learn way more as you get older.” (10:42–11:02)
• Sidebar: The conversation derails briefly into jokes about Arnold Palmer, LBJ, and “big hogs” in presidential lore.

Notable Moment:
Jake calls it “such good advice, especially for young people.” (10:42)

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b. “Just Call Me Tally” – Navigating Name Mistakes (Talia from Cincinnati, 13:30–20:01)

• Situation: Talia’s neighbor Jeff has called her “Tayla” for years. Embarrassed to correct him after so long, a friend advises: just say, “All my friends call me Tally.”
• Quote: “That way he knows I’m his friend. And he calls me Tally now and still offers me weed every day.” (18:02)
• Hosts Share: Gareth talks about using a friend’s fake ID and transitioning names at the bar—a relatable bit about identity and rolling with social awkwardness.
• Lighthearted Side: Much laughter about the neighborly excess of homegrown zucchini and weed.

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c. If You Think It’s Funny, Don’t Do It – Mikey from Brooklyn (24:29–26:58)

• Story: Mikey recalls his dad’s favorite warning after years of childhood mischief:
  • Quote: “If you think it’s funny, don’t do it.” (24:50)
• Reflection: Jake reframes it as, “If you think the mean joke is worth it, think again. Or make sure you know who you’re delivering it to.” (25:53)
• Discussion: They commiserate on growing up as “attention-seeking little shits,” learning humor’s limits, and the times jokes have landed poorly.

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d. Shit or Get Off the Pot – Anna from Washington (33:27–37:34)

• Advice: Anna’s dad’s blunt guidance during a driving lesson:
  • Quote: “You either have to shit or get off the pot.” (35:07)
• Application: The crew agrees it’s perfect not only for driving but also for decision-making in life, creativity, and collaborative ventures.

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e. Always Consult Children (for Surprising Wisdom) – Kelsey from Connecticut (42:23–46:55)

• Story: As a middle school special education teacher, Kelsey asked her students for advice for her sister. A child responded: “She needs to get a Slinky…it’ll take her mind off things.” (43:45)
• Lesson: “Always consult children. Even though they don’t have life experience, they weirdly get life, remind us to have fun and find the good in all moments.” (45:33)

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f. Give More Compliments – Kyle from Oregon (52:03–59:24)

• Setup: Kyle’s wife teaches his reserved family a lesson during a vacation by adding a new rule to their game night: instead of paying to the pot, you can give another player a compliment.
• Quote: “My mom audibly said, ‘Oh, fuck.’... We’re not a very affectionate bunch. We’re emotionally repressed…” (55:19, 56:04)
• Impact: The forced affection leads to “20 minutes of everyone giving compliments,” sparking sweet introspection and warmth.
• Group Compliments: The hosts and Kyle then go around giving each other heartfelt compliments, ending the segment on a genuine high note.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “If you think it’s funny, don’t do it.” – Mikey’s Dad (24:50)
• “Sometimes what’s more important than knowing what to say is knowing when to shut the fuck up.” – Max’s Mentor (10:10)
• “You either have to shit or get off the pot.” – Anna’s Dad (35:07)
• “Always consult children…they weirdly get life.” – Kelsey (45:33)
• “Give more compliments.” – Kyle’s wife (53:30)
• “They got the keys to the kitchen, baby.” – Steve Berg (02:41)

Memorable Bit:
Steve’s comic riff about why he loved moms growing up, just hanging around for adult snacks, is a show highlight.

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Running Gags, Inside Jokes, and Recurring Themes

• Steve's Compliments: Listeners are invited to take a shot every time Steve compliments something or someone—be it a city, a vegetable, or a caller. (“Oh, I love zucchini!” – 16:17)
• Host Dynamics: Jake’s grumbly pragmatism, Gareth’s lightning-fast wit, and Steve’s bottomless positivity create a recipe for both genuine advice and comedic chaos.
• Impression Olympics: Max’s impressions delight the crew and set a playful tone for the advice segments.
• Eric at the Vet: Prolonged running jokes about Eric Edelstein “being at the vet” (“He’s getting neutered…”) add to the episode’s absurdist humor. (13:51)
• Plugging Rocket Money: They weave Rocket Money references throughout, ultimately framing “saving money” as the single best advice, with mock-gravitas.

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Listener Takeaways

While the advice veers from the profound (“know when to shut up”) to the practical (“correct a name mistake with a friendly nickname”), the episode’s throughline is how seemingly simple advice can change perspective, ease awkwardness, or open hearts. Amid digressions, jokes about presidential “hogs,” and slinky therapy, the hosts always circle back to the genuine purpose: finding help and humor in the mess of modern life.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:47–03:27: Birthday song & mom’s kitchen keys story
• 05:09–06:47: Caller Max’s impressions
• 08:16–11:51: Arnold Palmer advice: “Know when to shut the fuck up”
• 13:30–20:01: Talia’s story: “All my friends call me Tally”
• 24:29–26:58: Mikey’s story: “If you think it’s funny, don’t do it”
• 33:27–37:34: Anna’s driving lesson: “Shit or get off the pot”
• 42:23–46:55: Kelsey’s story: “Always consult children”
• 52:03–59:24: Kyle’s advice: “Give more compliments”; hosts exchange compliments
• 60:44–68:18: Reflections, gratitude, and closing banter

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Final Thoughts

Jake Johnson (61:00):
“There’s a purity, but also just one of the funniest people on planet Earth…”
(on Steve Berg, after the round of compliments ends in classic chaos)

Steve Berg (62:47):
“I would love items very refined palette at a young age, especially for tomato based products…what a perfect way to end a Thanksgiving episode. This is what we’re grateful for.”

The episode concludes with a (tongue-in-cheek) plea to lift the show’s own “ban” on discussing a friend’s Dick Van Dyke-related project and one last heartfelt thanks to Rocket Money—for providing structure to the chaos and, as Gareth puts it, possibly the best advice of all: “save your money.”

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

Guys, what we're doing right now is a special Rocket Money ad, which you guys know we're taking best advice. We want to thank Rocket Money. We talk about them a lot in the episode. But as you guys know, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So start saving [e-mail] help.

[Jake Johnson]

Everybody. Welcome to the show. We are doing a little intro now. We will probably cut back to the intro, but we have callers on right now. Steve, go ahead.

[Steve Berg]

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Gareth and Natalie Happy birthday to you Gareth.

[Jake Johnson]

He has been so jacked up.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, you're supposed to sing with me, Garrett.

[Jake Johnson]

He has been so jazzed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me ask you this. I love attention. I love it. Wouldn't I be reveling in this, in your little theory? Steve is even a nightmare.

[Jake Johnson]

Steve is even more today. Why?

[Steve Berg]

Why are you. Why would. Why would you not be happy? I mean, I sing a pretty nice birthday rendition to you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You did great.

[Jake Johnson]

Steve asked if he could enter a little late, and he came in playing a guitar, but he wasn't Mike. So he just walks in with a guitar in the background.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was really think. Did you think I was gonna be on that? What was the thinking there?

[Steve Berg]

I thought was I wasn't sure. I had to go to the bathroom. So I thought.

[Jake Johnson]

I was hoping, you know, the show coming in out of focus with a guitar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can we play a game real quick? Just real quick.

[Steve Berg]

Love games.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Has he had a hit a pot today, yes or no?

[Steve Berg]

No, I haven't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The eyes tell a different story.

[Steve Berg]

Look at them. They're white. I would have put Vizine in them because I'm a professional. I should have stock and vicine.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you want to know why Steve Berg has always been so warm to Mom's growing up? You know how he's, like, so sweet to everybody's mom all the time?

[Steve Berg]

What is your. What is Gareth? What does your mom think of me?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You better than me.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but do you want to know why that is?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, there's the lisp.

[Jake Johnson]

Helps. Why Steve?

[Steve Berg]

They got the keys to the kitchen, baby, I just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The half hour was too long. Snack.

[Jake Johnson]

Snack. Scarif. All the boys would run downstairs to play Nintendo and he gets adult snacks.

[Steve Berg]

I get adults. I get leftover baked ziti. Maybe like a little, you know.

[Jake Johnson]

Offer it up. They'd be like, do you want one of these? And he'd go, sure, Mrs. Brownstein.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And by the way, we don't have to tell the other kids. This can be our little secret.

[Steve Berg]

Put your feet up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, they don't thank you enough.

[Steve Berg]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my God. You know what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Put the chip clip down. Not going to need that for a while.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, let's take the first call.

[Steve Berg]

Chip clip.

[Jake Johnson]

This is the best. This is a best advice episode. We are taking people. They're giving us their best night. This is sponsored by Rocket Money. Let's see what else we love. And we have Gareth Reynolds and Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein passed. Not away.

[Steve Berg]

He's. He died.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's alive.

[Jake Johnson]

We can't even joke about that. He passed on doing it.

[Steve Berg]

No, he's at the vet. He had a good reason.

[Jake Johnson]

What do they what? He should go to a real doctor. He's a man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No wonder he passed away.

[Steve Berg]

Brother.

[Jake Johnson]

If it could fix a cat's heart, it could fit to mine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's clipping my tail.

[Jake Johnson]

This vet is a healer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The human body and that of a feline could not be more close.

[Jake Johnson]

Go to a real doctor.

[Steve Berg]

Hello.

[Caller/Guest]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

How are you? Welcome to the show.

[Caller/Guest]

Thank you so much. It's very exciting.

[Jake Johnson]

It's exciting for us, too. You've got Gareth Reynolds and Steve Berg and Eric Edelson is at a vet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He passed.

[Caller/Guest]

He's at a vet.

[Jake Johnson]

He's at a. A vet. Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, no.

[Jake Johnson]

We don't know why. Yeah, it's for one of his animals.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, his paw is a little tender right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He got a thorn in his paw.

[Jake Johnson]

That old bear is getting himself checked out.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

That old grizzly checking out the body.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Take my temperature again.

[Jake Johnson]

Can you get your name rectally, please?

[Caller/Guest]

Rectally.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Eric's got a little shaving where they drew blood on it. They took it out of my arm, dude. They had to put my fur down.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we get your name, please, sir?

[Caller/Guest]

My name is Max.

[Jake Johnson]

Max, and I heard you SN snuck in an Eric. Can you do another error compression really fast, Max.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, let's go with. I'm sitting here looking at a Louisville Slugger, so might be the best invention that God's ever created.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's all wood.

[Steve Berg]

That is really good, actually.

[Jake Johnson]

Good. Max, can you do a Steve Berg?

[Steve Berg]

Let's hear Max.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay. I'm also sitting here looking at a bottle of wine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it is.

[Steve Berg]

I love wine.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, the Cliffs lady rhythm is really. It accentuates notes of acid, but it's still distinctly Napa. And that's something that I want to have when I'm making any mixed green salad that I'm doing tonight.

[Steve Berg]

Matt, that is really good. What do we have? We have our rich little over here.

[Jake Johnson]

How about Gareth?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, God, Gareth, I love you. It's not a perm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's definitely something I've yelled.

[Jake Johnson]

How about. Yeah, how about me? Max.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, Jake. God.

It'S.

[Steve Berg]

Don't even think about it, Max.

[Caller/Guest]

The. One of my favorite little. Go back and forth between you and Cece about the. The. The popcorn maker was.

It stinks.

You have to clean it.

[Jake Johnson]

You have to clean it, Max. That's one of my favorite bits from that whole show.

[Caller/Guest]

I. I am obsessed with that.

[Jake Johnson]

I think it was one of the best written bits of that. I've talked about that since. A bunch. I thought that was perfect kind of sitcom write in. It was.

[Caller/Guest]

It really was. And it was so, like. It was so tongue in cheek. For what? How like it was so explicitly tongue in cheek.

[Jake Johnson]

I totally agree.

[Caller/Guest]

Very dirty.

[Jake Johnson]

When Zoe comes. So Zoe's character thinks Hannah Simone's character wants to fuck me and that I might want to be with her, and she's trying to be cool about it. But really what it is, is Hannah Simone's character wants to put a popcorn machine in the bar. And so Zoe's character walks up and goes, hey, have you given any thought to, you know, the whole CC thing? Basically saying, like, do you want to be with her? And I go like this. I don't know. That old box is pretty gross. Well, I wouldn't say that. And I go, yeah, all those oils just cooking in that hot box. I go, oh, drunks reaching in. Yeah, not for me. And I go, it's not sanitary. She's like, it's sanitary. The smells alone will make a man sick. And she's like, oh, I think it smells just fine. And it was just the day we shot it, they had so many jokes. Oh, we were just sitting there. I was like, oh, my God, I could play this game forever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, that was beautiful.

[Jake Johnson]

A great intro. You nailed it. What do you got, big daddy? What's the best advice you've ever gotten?

[Caller/Guest]

So this was about almost 10 years ago now. I was just starting into my. My wine sales career, and I didn't like this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I love only all.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

So it was the first big dinner I got invited to. It was like five months into my. My career.

[Steve Berg]

Huge dinner fan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Food's amazing.

[Steve Berg]

Sorry. Steve, turn the air conditioning on.

[Jake Johnson]

He. He is. Max, Steve is on fire today.

[Steve Berg]

Wound up.

[Caller/Guest]

I know. I can tell okay, keep going. So somehow I got seated. There was like a ton of bosses there. It was a huge dinner, ton of bosses there. Somehow I got seated across from my. My biggest boss. And he was, you know, an old school company guy.

[Jake Johnson]

Love old school company.

[Caller/Guest]

And yeah, no, he was. He's right up your alley, Jake. But he, towards the end of dinner and after a ton of drinks, he kind of was like, yeah, so how's it going? And I was love loving so many old fashions. And at the end of it, he was like, so how's it going? How's your new job? I was like, it's great, but, you know, I think there's a lot of waste in a bunch of systems that we have agree. And yeah, I still agree to this day. But he did not take that well at all. And we proceeded to get in kind of like a drunken fight for the next, like 45 minutes even.

[Jake Johnson]

Not great with the.

[Caller/Guest]

Not great.

[Jake Johnson]

No, not great. Believe me. I say that because I've been you a lot where I'm like, I'm arguing with the wrong person.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. Well, also, I made a mistake of thinking that he was a friend because I'd known him a long time. I went to school with his daughter.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

And so I thought it was just going to be like a normal back and forth, but he did not take it that way. We got into this huge.

[Steve Berg]

He will.

[Caller/Guest]

Basically he just yelled at me for 45 minutes and then we went to another bar. And after they left, him and his wife, my other boss, Bobby, who's now. He's one of the funniest people I know. And he's now one of my best friends and like a dad to me. But he. He comes up to me very calmly and he said, you know, Arnold Palmer once said, sometimes what's more important than knowing what to say is knowing when to shut the fuck up.

[Jake Johnson]

Amen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, amen.

[Caller/Guest]

And that's. That's one of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten.

[Jake Johnson]

That's such good advice, especially for young people. You learn it way more as you get older. So many times in my life now, I'm like, you know what? And then I go, nobody cares. Yeah, I made a dinner with all new people. It'll be like a cast dinner with a new group. Someone will say something. And I go, I got three opinions on that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And I'll go, and nobody cares, so just shut the fuck up.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, just shut the fuck up.

[Steve Berg]

Well, there was also a piece of information that was revealed about old Arnold Palmer in the last six months. Did you guys hear about that?

[Jake Johnson]

Go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

Our president. Our president came out and said he's got a huge hog. People in the shower were always like, wow. He's like, at the clubhouse, everyone's always marveling at his thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We want to thank Rocket Money for coming on board. We really appreciate it. Him so much. And I, I just. The. Their willingness to attach themselves to this has just always been exceptional to us, and we appreciate them. Rocket Money. You want to save money, get some Rocket Money.

[Steve Berg]

Beautifully executed, G. Beautiful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love Rocket Money.

[Jake Johnson]

Great call. We appreciate it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great impressions.

[Jake Johnson]

Great impressions.

[Steve Berg]

Impressions.

[Jake Johnson]

And happy holidays, big daddy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Gobble, gobble, Max.

[Caller/Guest]

Thank you, guys.

[Steve Berg]

Get after it.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. Thank you guys so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Donate hog.

[Jake Johnson]

I heard that same thing about the big hog about Richard Nixon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really? Lbj, they said really?

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, that's who I was thinking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

LBJ is the one. LBJ apparently had to have very. There's a call where he's calling his tailor, and he's basically saying he needs more crotch room, so.

[Steve Berg]

Are you serious?

[Jake Johnson]

And he was supposedly in public bathrooms. Yeah. When he had. Not, like, public. Public, he wouldn't be like a Burger King, but if there was a big meeting, he would go pull his hog out and then turn a little bit while continuing talking. So that if he just had, like, a big meeting, you had to be like, jesus, God, the President of the United States is enormous.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He got. He was put into office because JFK was killed and then he wouldn't run again. Like, he had a very sweet look. He was just like, whatever. Yeah, I got a few years here. Look at my penis.

[Jake Johnson]

I was born with this big dick. I fell into it.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. Yeah. It's been easy for me, by the.

[Jake Johnson]

Way, having a really big dick and bragging about it. You didn't earn that.

[Steve Berg]

No, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Agreed there's no skill involved. But also still works on us.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you mean?

[Steve Berg]

Don't speak for all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

What does that mean?

[Steve Berg]

A lot of revelations today. Me with why I like moms, why he loves lbj. I mean, look, it works on us. We love lbj.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, caller, are you there? Sorry about Steve. How are you?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, I'm here. How are you? My name is. I go by Tally, but my full name is Talia. It's relevant to the story, I promise.

[Steve Berg]

Like Talia Shire. Francis Ford Coppo's sister did a table.

[Jake Johnson]

Read with her with Eric Edelstein for. This is my friend.

[Steve Berg]

Did you really?

[Jake Johnson]

She was gonna play the mom.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, Adrienne.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Back in the day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Tally, just so you know, Eric Edelstein couldn't be here today. The vet is. He's at the vet. They're taking. He's getting neutered stuff. Yeah, we're fine.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, no.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I don't need these nuts. They get in my way.

[Steve Berg]

They're encumbering.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They're ruining me, dude.

[Jake Johnson]

The things, they make me think. All right, Talia, what do we got?

[Caller/Guest]

So like I said, my name is relevant to this. So I moved into my house about four years ago. I'm in the Midwest in Cincinnati.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ooh.

[Caller/Guest]

And my. My neighbor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One second.

[Jake Johnson]

Is there any place anybody could ever say that you wouldn't pretend to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Excited about anything or anything you don't love?

[Steve Berg]

I can find something beautiful about Cincinnati.

[Jake Johnson]

Somebody commented about the weird hair to helper. They emailed and they said as a drinking game, every time Berg compliments somebody they say or every time Eric goes. But literally it's a huge realization.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The last guy said Max said, I'm looking at a bottle of wine. Oh, I love wine.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but it's from. I'm from blank and it's gonna get a. Oh, I love that. Which means you love.

[Steve Berg]

Well, there's something wonderful about every city.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In every town I live in hell, I'm the devil.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, we love it when it's hot.

[Steve Berg]

During the weather's always nice there, isn't it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, God, Satan seems so cool.

[Steve Berg]

They got all the good music there.

[Jake Johnson]

Blues from the Delta.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, Slayer dancing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sally, please start salad.

[Jake Johnson]

Back to you.

[Caller/Guest]

I appreciate the love. And so I was newly divorced, moving into a house by myself in the Midwest and my neighbor Jeff, who's in like his 50s, came over to introduce himself to me and I don't know how he already knew my name either he went through my mail or a package or something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I love stalkers.

[Caller/Guest]

And he called me Tayla. So he said, hey Tayla, I'm your neighbor Jeff. And I thought to myself, when am I ever gonna interact with this man again? I'm not gonna correct him. So I didn't. And then he would say hi to me over the fence and our dogs started playing with each other through the fence. The man has an excellent green thumb and he gave me hand like homegrown tomatoes and zucchini every single summer.

[Steve Berg]

I love zucchini. Were they early grown tomatoes? I bet they were. If it was.

[Caller/Guest]

Sorry, I had no clue. I did send pictures.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, please do. They were definitely early girls. I mean in the Midwest we just have the soil for it.

[Caller/Guest]

They were amazing. One time.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, those are heirlooms.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, wait, what about your confidence?

[Steve Berg]

Well, I mean, I stand corrected. You can't.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, we've got a photo of some fruits and a zucchini Louise.

[Steve Berg]

That is a nice bounty.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. And then one time. So he. Marijuana became legal in Ohio.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, we got a little bit of the. What do we got there? Does that look like the. The devil's acorns.

[Steve Berg]

Devil's cabbage.

[Jake Johnson]

It is.

[Caller/Guest]

He grew weed. And he dropped off those two bags of weed to me and said, what is that?

[Jake Johnson]

If you want a half pound. That's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a. That's a. That is. That is a close to. We're near about a half ounce there, wouldn't you say?

[Steve Berg]

I would say there's probably an ounce in each bag. That look, it looks pretty leafy, not super nug heavy. So, yeah, I would say it's like shake. Great for joints.

[Jake Johnson]

Wow. Okay, so he dropped off a ton of weed.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes. And he, every time I see him, offers me more weed. Like more than I know what to do with. So he's an excellent neighbor. And so then I was like, three years in. I can't tell him. You've had my name wrong for three years.

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Caller/Guest]

Because that felt real crappy. And I was asking everyone, what do I do? He has my name wrong. And my friend from grad school came up with the most simple solution. And he said, next time he talks to you over the fence, he'll say, hey, you know what, Jeff? All my friends just call me Tally.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, that's great advice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What a great pivot.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Caller/Guest]

And that way he knows I'm his friend and he. He calls me Tally now and still offers me weed every day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, do you have other people calling you Tally? Did you lean full in or is it just him?

[Caller/Guest]

No, everyone calls me Tally because it. So my name is Hebrew. So it's hard to pronounce in English. I didn't grow up in the States and so I usually just go by. I actually did go to international school, but I don't have an accent. I went in Mexico City.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, I was in England.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, you weren't. That's great talent.

[Steve Berg]

London. Really?

[Jake Johnson]

Berg was there?

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. Trip.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cheers. Well, we should tell people. We should tell people.

[Jake Johnson]

What you gonna do, Nigel?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, stop.

[Steve Berg]

Years we've been on a field trip to Stonehenge.

[Jake Johnson]

Remember his dad has a lot of quid.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Not mo. I was from the orphanage.

[Steve Berg]

Perfect accents, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We almost did a podcast called Mates. Do you remember when we talked about doing this?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was just going to be us doing that. All right. Cheers.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you know that Steve and I recorded an episode with Scott Gimple?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? It was our idea.

[Jake Johnson]

Kinda. You were the third.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Accent is too good. It bothers you, too.

[Steve Berg]

It was too good. It was not.

[Jake Johnson]

Why Steve? I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My first stop, my first fake ID was my friend Steve's actually.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And when I used to go to the bar, like I went to the bar all the time and they would call me Steve and all that. And then I turned 21, so I was like, well, I'm gonna start using my id. So I was like, what am I gonna do? So I was in there one day and I was talking to the bartender who was like, my buddy. And I was like, I think I'm gonna change my name to Gareth. Everyone's like, what?

[Caller/Guest]

I was like, I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I just slowly. Over like five months. Got it.

[Jake Johnson]

That is really funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bouncers were like, hey, Steve. I was like, hey, what's up?

[Jake Johnson]

I'm going by Gareth now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Call me Gareth.

[Jake Johnson]

That is really funny.

[Steve Berg]

It's almost impossible to believe because why would you do go from a perfect name like Steve to a complete name like Garrett? Makes no sense. No one will believe that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I love Garrett. No one would.

[Steve Berg]

Who needs it?

[Jake Johnson]

So tell one quick question about this. You and this neighbor. How much weed you smoke into his. How is it?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my God.

It.

So I ended up giving some away to people. My mom told me to sell it, which was not the right advice from her Jewish mother.

[Steve Berg]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

So. But very solid Jewish mom advice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Steve Berg]

Jake agrees with him.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm with mom.

[Caller/Guest]

I have drinks always at home.

[Jake Johnson]

I see other greaters always have. You just always have joints now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Correct.

[Caller/Guest]

And I've given a lot away because my partner doesn't smoke. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

That I shared the love.

[Steve Berg]

That's so awesome.

[Jake Johnson]

And is it legal or illegal in Cincinnati?

[Caller/Guest]

No, it's legal. And so he actually told me that me and my partner can each grow six marijuana plants if we wanted to.

[Jake Johnson]

That's cool.

[Caller/Guest]

And so he grew all six plants. And my yard smells like weed.

[Jake Johnson]

Every summer I stopped smoking weed probably five, four, whenever we went to Landers. What was that, four years ago?

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. But you had not been smoking no decade alone.

[Jake Johnson]

Since New Girl, I basically stopped. But I've always fantasized about growing it and just having pounds of it. And I think it's because of growing up in the 90s when it was so hard to Get. And all of a sudden you get like, somebody's got, like, eighth of good weed, and you're like, here's 35 bucks. And I'd have, like a really great weed in my drawer. And I'd be like, I can't believe I have this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it was crazy. It was exciting not knowing what the strain was.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, the idea that I'd be like, all right, I'm gonna smoke a bunch of sleepy weed and start my day.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, you just had, by the way. It didn't matter.

[Steve Berg]

It didn't matter.

[Jake Johnson]

It was just weed.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

What a great turn. What a great turn.

[Caller/Guest]

Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

Before we go to the next call, gentlemen, your thoughts on the format.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Love it.

[Jake Johnson]

Fun. I'm enjoying it better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we found it.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm kind of enjoying it.

[Steve Berg]

I am, too.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, next caller, please. Hey, Stevie, you want to start us?

[Steve Berg]

Hi, buddy, what's going on? My name is Steve Berg. I'm here with my two best buddies, Gareth Rounds and Jake Johnson. Really?

[Jake Johnson]

Exclusive of Eric's. Dave, look at you. He would cut him out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He would have been.

[Steve Berg]

He would have been in two.

[Jake Johnson]

Look at you, you little rat. Trying to get on the Monday shows. Try to get on Friday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You should be at the vet because you're a rat. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a snake in the grass. You cut the grass, you see him slithering around. Look, trying to leave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can do it on my own. This. This snake has a lisp.

[Steve Berg]

Hey, Eric, Steve Berg doesn't need you guys, okay? Like, look.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Eric, why don't you go to the early? Oh, good idea, buddy. Hey, Gareth and Jake, I'm available.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey. Hey, Eric. So sorry. They switched the time on me. I think we're starting now. Question mark.

[Jake Johnson]

This was. And Eric goes. Didn't work. Whoops.

[Steve Berg]

Guys, this is. This would never happen. Natalie, cut this out. This is all garbage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't talk to her. He's in. Natalie's doing another podcast in another room.

[Steve Berg]

Good.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, caller, what's your.

[Steve Berg]

What's your name? Good friendship, buddy. How you doing? Where are you calling from?

[Caller/Guest]

How's it going? This is Mikey from Brooklyn.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, yeah?

[Jake Johnson]

What part of Brooklyn, Mikey?

[Caller/Guest]

Cobble Hill.

[Jake Johnson]

Fun, beautiful, gorgeous.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you got, Mikey?

[Caller/Guest]

And, well, I just need to say, man, I'm happy Steve's here.

[Steve Berg]

I love you, man. Hey, well, you're okay with me, pal. I like you. We're old friends.

[Jake Johnson]

Way to act like you've been there before. With a compliment, Steve.

[Steve Berg]

Honestly, dude.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, Jesus.

[Caller/Guest]

Wow.

[Steve Berg]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sweet God. What's your venmo? Pal.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm gonna pour some gasoline on my feet and light him for no reason.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, what's your closest airport? I think I'm gonna come out to Cobble Hill. I'd like to shake that hand.

[Steve Berg]

You got an extra chair at the Thanksgiving table for me?

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, Mikey, take us away.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. So the best piece of advice I ever got was from my dad, who it wasn't really like, this, like, one big moment, but I was a little shit of a kid, and he used to scream at me all the time, and he would say, if you think it's funny, don't do it.

[Steve Berg]

Ooh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh.

[Jake Johnson]

That is really interesting advice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's tough for my brain to process. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And, Mikey, how have you processed that? And at what moment did you almost do it, but not do it and then think? Dad was right, you know, recently?

[Caller/Guest]

So 31, now this. It's just ingrained in my head now it's second nature where I'm like, you know, it'd be really funny if I did this. And I'm like, don't do it. My cousin was. You know, he was getting married, and he was engaged before. And right before the wedding, he got it canceled. And so he called me up right before his actual wedding that just happened, telling me how nervous he was, and, like, it didn't work out. And I almost stopped him to say, oh, wait, that wedding's still happening. And I chose not to. I was like, you know what? That's only going to be funny for me and probably wouldn't be the best thing to say in the moment.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, this makes more sense. I think it's more. For me, the advice is, if you think the mean joke is worth it, it think again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you need a moment.

[Jake Johnson]

If you're, like, depending, or if you think the mean joke is worth it, make sure you know who you're delivering it to. Yeah, yeah. Because I've definitely made mean jokes to people and then realized, like, oh, we're actually not old friends.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And now I have to go like. But also, I'm a big piece of. So, yeah. Total joke. Do you want to punch me in the face? Because I genuinely like you. I literally thought you were gonna laugh. And, yeah, I think I hurt your feelings. I said it because I like you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Steve's br.

[Caller/Guest]

As a kid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead, Mikey. Oh.

[Caller/Guest]

I was gonna say, as a kid, the amount of things you do to get just attention.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my God.

[Caller/Guest]

I thought it was gonna be funny. So I did whatever. And I was just like, no, don't do that.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, that. That's a big part.

[Steve Berg]

I think. I think the three of us could probably. Could probably take a little of this lesson.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Glad that end.

[Steve Berg]

What happen.

[Jake Johnson]

Being funny, Steve.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I love jokes.

[Steve Berg]

I love a good guffaw.

[Jake Johnson]

You know, my old man gave me advice once during his pre. Getting sober thing that I think about quite a bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He.

[Jake Johnson]

We used to play a game in his car. He would take us out, like, maybe once a month on a Thursday. And at a certain point in the evening, he was ready for the night to be over. So he created a game called the Silent Game, which was whoever was the most silent one. And me and my siblings wanted his attention so bad and approval. We would be like. And then if anybody talked, we'd be like, you've lost. And he would drive us back to the house. And one time he got in front of our suburban house, and he's in this, like. You know, he had a car dealership, so he was in this, like, great 80s Corvette. He was so boozed up and swerving like this down. I remember driving. We told my mom and my mom's like, no more being in the car with him. And we're like, it's really fun when he drives because it's like. And he goes in passing. Just remember, there's no problem in life that's too big that you can't run away from.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is remarkable.

[Steve Berg]

That is such.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're dead.

[Steve Berg]

Yes, he's right.

[Jake Johnson]

He's right. He also taught me when he got sober. But when he got sober, we became friends. He was the one of the first people who's like, you know, everybody says you can't quit. You can't quit quitting so bad. Sometimes quitting's fine. And I was like, you're totally right.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

This idea of, like, never quit. But what if it's wrong?

[Steve Berg]

And what if you're wasting your time? Life is short.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. Quit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's no problem. Too big that to run away from.

[Steve Berg]

Run away from that is.

[Jake Johnson]

I kind of like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do, too. It's a wild thing to let a kid in on.

[Jake Johnson]

It's a very different philosophy, but it's not. You're like, yeah, it's kind of true. There is a way. Stephen. Gareth. Anyway, wild paternal or maternal advice you've gotten that still sticks in the craw.

[Steve Berg]

My. Mine is like, the most boring. My dad's like, always park far away in a parking lot to let old people or people who can't. Who can't. And Jake, I mean, you guys probably know if you've been a car with me, I will go to a parking lot and park the. As far away as possible from the.

[Jake Johnson]

Place, will have parking for us, and he'll park two blocks away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think I've seen this, Steve.

[Caller/Guest]

My dad did the same thing.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, my dad's like, don't be lazy. You have two legs. Use him. You're young and healthy. He's like, save it for people who can't, like, you know, have problems, physical problems. I'm like, okay, well, his whole thing.

[Caller/Guest]

Is you're not gonna get a shopping cart that's gonna go stray and hit your car if you park all the way in the back.

[Steve Berg]

That's true, too.

[Caller/Guest]

If you park in the front, the shopping carts may get loose and then hit your car.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, you're saving that true code on the. On the paint in the car.

[Jake Johnson]

Gr. You got any?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. My parents. I raised myself.

[Jake Johnson]

True. I know Pam Garrett lived in a treehouse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I basically did. It's like, monitored. Lord of the Flies is what.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, by the way, somebody wrote in something so funny. Gareth and I are talking about if we ever do a live show, we're calling it Lord of the fl. We're here to help Lord of the Flies. Wait, what were we saying?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't remember. What? Well, you were Ralph, and obviously Steve. We cast you Piggy, and we were.

[Jake Johnson]

Gonna call it Lord of the Five, but somebody said rather than.

[Steve Berg]

That is so funny.

[Jake Johnson]

It's gotta be Piggly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Piggly. Yes. That is so funny.

[Jake Johnson]

Piggly. The. The conch.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Piggly gets the conch, Piggy gets the conch. Jake and I get a conch to share, and you and Eric get one. And then I do think we just landed on. We need to give you a conch box theme.

[Steve Berg]

I would. I would love one, I admit. Also, I really love that character. What a great book.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Mikey, great advice. Thanks for calling in.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, talk to you. See you later.

[Jake Johnson]

I want to create a new fake drinking game. People call it a drinking game on our show. They say, like, drink whenever I interrupt a caller. Drink when whatever. Like, there's just fun things people come up with. There's got to be a drink whenever. Steve just gives a compliment to nothingness when it's just positivity activity.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You'll end up at the vet. It's not going to be good. It's literally. Oh, I love breathing. Oh, I love podcasts.

[Jake Johnson]

This person has cancer. Oh, I love cancer. It is the strongest of all diseases.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, you take your hat off. Hey, say what you will, it's a fighter.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, gosh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you know, we're sponsored today by Rocket Money, and we've all used Rocket Money to save. I've talked repeatedly on the show about how I one time downloaded a special packers radio station to listen to a playoff game. They got me for about four years, and Rocket Money finally came into my life and was like, hey, buddy. Nope.

[Steve Berg]

Here.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's the reality about Rocket Money, and this is to the callers. And I mean this seriously. Why not just try it?

[Caller/Guest]

It?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Because if it doesn't save you money, then you cancel it. But it's going to take a little bit of work. You use our code and you're going to get savings. But the whole idea of it is that you are saving money. And I'll tell you what pisses me off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go, Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

That there's a lot of people who aren't willing to do a little bit of work. Let me say this. Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, with members saving up to 740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Do you not want to save $740, you goofball.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Be part of the club, you goofball. Steve, join in. What do you got? Say something.

[Steve Berg]

Well, I was paying for spice channel for 17 years.

[Jake Johnson]

And.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com help today. That's RocketMoney.com help. RocketMoney.com.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, next caller, please.

[Steve Berg]

Hi, what's your name and where are you from, sister?

[Caller/Guest]

My name is Anna and I'm calling from Washington State.

[Steve Berg]

Ooh, the Cascade Mountains. Home of the Bigfoot. Yakima.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, exactly. The Evergreen States.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, yes, absolutely. Some great record labels there, too. Kill rock stars. K Records.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks for calling the show today. You got Steve. There's no Eric. You know what we're doing? We're working with Rocket Money. We adore Rocket Money. Oh, you're going to save a bunch of money with Rocket Money? Anna, what is this advice you're. You're calling about?

[Jake Johnson]

Also, we don't have to do a Rocket Money commercials while we're doing this, Gary. We're going to do a spot at the beginning in the middle. You're just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love Rocket Money. What can I say? Saved me a bunch of money. I'm sorry. And we will be talking to you more. Don't worry. Steve loves everything. We've discovered. What is this advice? Where did it come from? Walk us through it.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes. So some backstory. This advice came from my dad, and my dad is such a great character. He loves the ymca, he knows everybody in town and he honestly could tell someone to fuck off and they would thank him for it. Like, he's that kind of guy.

[Steve Berg]

I know the time.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes. So he was in charge of teaching me and all my siblings how to drive growing up. And when we got on the freeway, you know, I was kind of nervous being your first time out there and stuff. And he told me I needed to change lanes, I needed to get over in the lane, and I was nervous. And he just looked at me and he said, anna, you either have to shit or get off the pot.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree with this. This is something I say a bunch.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. It's just great advice for life. I mean, I feel like you either have to commit it or don't do it.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, it's true. And even literally, you'll get. You'll cause yourself a hemorrhoid if you don't. If you sit on the pouch along without literally. This advice works.

[Jake Johnson]

Steve, all jokes aside, do you have hemorrhoids?

[Steve Berg]

No, I've never had one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have you?

[Steve Berg]

No, I eat psyllium husk every day. So, I mean, I'm. It's regular over at the Berg hq.

[Jake Johnson]

You call your butt the Berg hq Headquarters. Your butt is headquarters. So most people don't think of their butthole as headquarters.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Meet me at headquarters.

[Jake Johnson]

I wouldn't think of my butt as headquarters for Jake Johnson, but now that.

[Steve Berg]

I'm thinking of it, it is kind of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm at hq.

[Jake Johnson]

I gotta stick these fingers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The husk.

[Steve Berg]

Well, I think that that is really good advice, though, especially in the middle of a, you know, a freeway. It. If you can't, you can't lollygag or dilly dally. You gotta make a decision.

[Jake Johnson]

And it's a certain point, I think people are allowed to go, I might want to do this, I might want to do. And then you're just kind of like, just do it or don't.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, some advice that Jake's dad gave to him is there's no problem too big that you can't run away from.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. So you can always park that car on the shoulder and just run. I don't want to do this anymore.

[Jake Johnson]

But I think your dad is truly right and I wish more people took that, especially. Like, one thing that drives me nuts is when people have, like, a business Idea or a creative of idea. And they'll be like, I don't know if it works. It could be do it or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then see if it works.

[Jake Johnson]

If it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I also hate when you. If you work with someone and you have to, like, drag the reality out of someone that you know already existed. Like, where you have to be like, you don't want to do this. Right. Someone's like, I don't.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't. I don't have time. You're like, I don't have time.

[Jake Johnson]

That's fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great. I'm mad about the way.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm mad about the four months.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Not that you didn't want to do.

[Caller/Guest]

Or like corporate. Yeah. Like during corporate meetings where it's like everyone just talks back and forth and nothing ever gets done.

[Steve Berg]

I think you two are very good at, like, just doing something when you have an idea and you want to do something. I. I'm getting better at it.

[Jake Johnson]

You are getting better at it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She stays on the pot.

[Steve Berg]

I'm historically a little bit staying on the pot too long where I will over intellectualize and think about how everything go wrong and how I'm stupid. It is that I'm not good enough to do it.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't think that's the real reason.

[Steve Berg]

It is.

[Jake Johnson]

You're trying to be likable. No, it is.

[Steve Berg]

No, no, no.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is. It is.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm so bored of this version.

[Steve Berg]

This is not true. But it's a fear of. It's a fear of. Not of failing. J.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're trying to be likable. Gestapo.

[Jake Johnson]

It is. It's too much. I just.

[Steve Berg]

I know, Steve, but you know, I'll over intellectually. You called me 5050 for like three years.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but that's not because of fear of a failure. That's because you'll go, I think I'm gonna actually do this because you mix.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ketch mustard and dipped your fries in it.

[Steve Berg]

I literally do that, by the way.

[Jake Johnson]

No, because you'll go, jesus, this is going to be so funny when I start cooking with that. And I'll go, it's going to be great. And then you'll go, ooh, a little bit of this. Oh, some marinara. And then the next day you'll go, I don't even know if that's a good idea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I don't know. I was kind of thinking maybe that's not the right direction.

[Jake Johnson]

I was so into it, but now I'm like, is it good The Difference was, Gareth and I is, while we're in that manic mood, we'll then write 14 pages, not sleep that night and be like, okay, I think they're good. And in the morning I'll read and I'll go, all right, I had a pot of coffee. Now I wrote page 14 to 50, and now it's bad. So what happened? It's a bad idea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's no second bad idea.

[Steve Berg]

1 out of 10. Those will be good.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed. Or then you get to the first 50 and you go, it's bad. You send it to somebody, they go, oh, cut here. And do this. And you go like, they're my writing partner.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The pot.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I took a. In my pants and they threw some of it in a toilet bowl.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't make it to the pot again.

[Jake Johnson]

Well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And appreciate it very much. Thanks for joining. Thanks for sharing. Just, you know, Steve loves you.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Also, Steve is really insecure and he's just such a sweet guy.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, I'm just a.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, I'm.

[Jake Johnson]

You know, don't say I believe it.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, I'm. I'm excited for his calendar.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, my God. Speaking of. Of 12:3. It's available on the website. What is the website again? I always do this. Dyslexic is cool. Give me one second. I just. I think it's helpful. Pod. But I just wrote it. Yeah, it's hereto help. Pod.com. we're only making 500, so order them fast. If you order them, I guess before the 9th, they'll get there for Christmas.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

If you want a weird stocking stuffer. I'm asking you to get this for somebody who does not listen to the show if you're doing it. Santa at work.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. And yes, this is actually the use case for it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or you know what else? Order it and put it in on someone's wall that you work with and let them figure it out.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep, yep, this is Steve also delivered little quotes for each month, and boy, are they good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll tell you, the pictures are the star, but we got a real good backup in the close.

[Jake Johnson]

So 12, three, head to the website when they're done. They're done. We're just doing 500 of them. We're keeping them, as Steve says, collectibles.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, I'll be doing press on Kimmel the day before to get the word.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We gotta let you go. Thanks for calling. We really appreciate it. We'll talk to you later.

[Caller/Guest]

Thank you. Bye.

[Steve Berg]

Bye, buddy.

[Jake Johnson]

Stevie, you want to intro this one?

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. And then at some point, I'd like to hear what you guys are thankful for, though. Will you indulge me?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, of course.

[Steve Berg]

Okay, great. Well, hello. How are we doing this fine holiday week? Who are you and where are you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Calling from, host Shade?

[Caller/Guest]

I am Kelsey and I am calling from Connecticut.

[Steve Berg]

Ooh, you guys are famous for your pizza. Everyone's saying that Connecticut has the best pizza in America. Would you conclude.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm not a huge pizza person and I am going to be assassinated by the people in my. I don't like Connecticut pizza.

[Jake Johnson]

Your thoughts on what we're witnessing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to let it cook, but I also have to jump in a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth, please.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, just full host gear on. Ooh. Not connecting with the local information and deciding to pivot it into some real good bits. But they're also super sweet.

[Jake Johnson]

Very sticky. Very sticky.

[Steve Berg]

I don't think I should talk. I don't think I should talk on this one.

[Jake Johnson]

Get out of here, you rat. I'm teing, I'm teing, I'm teing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I give you my home address and will you mail some dough?

[Caller/Guest]

Absolutely.

[Steve Berg]

It's all in the water. It's all in the water.

[Jake Johnson]

So.

[Steve Berg]

So what? What is a piece of great advice that you have found very useful and just top horse.

[Jake Johnson]

Who is this person?

[Gareth Reynolds]

G. I love him. I want.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't know this man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love him. Bottle it.

[Caller/Guest]

So some important context about me is that I am a middle school special education teacher.

[Steve Berg]

Wonderful.

[Jake Johnson]

Good for you.

[Caller/Guest]

Thank you. Yeah, I work with 11 and 12 year olds on a daily basis, and so I get a lot of really weird, unsolicited life advice from kids who do not have life experience. This particular piece of advice came about two years ago when my youngest sister turned. She was obviously very excited, but she was also grappling with this dramatic mourning of her loss of her teen years and her childhood. So part of her birthday gift, I wanted to give her some advice from kids. And so I had asked my students what advice they would give her. And one of my students. Thank you. You gotta use the kids where you can. One of my students said so matter. Exactly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, I love using the kids where you can.

[Steve Berg]

Jesus Christ headquarters.

[Jake Johnson]

Butt.

[Steve Berg]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Whoa.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Steve Berg]

Hell's going on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't use steroids. I use hemorrhoids.

[Steve Berg]

Sorry, Rocket money.

[Caller/Guest]

So one of my students had just said so matter of factly to me, obviously, she needs to get a slinky. And I was like, what? Why? And he was like, well, slinkies are fun and they Take your mind off of things. So I went out and I bought her a Slinky for her birthday. And it ended up being really good because my mom, who is normally a very good gift giver, somehow bought the weirdest assortment of presents. And there was a particular gift that was aggressively confusing, and my sister was very upset about it.

[Steve Berg]

Can we know? I mean, I feel like we have to know what that is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Agreed.

[Caller/Guest]

My sisters and I refer to it as the gay ass frame. When I was in high school, I went on a trip to Europe with my high school, and I got my sister this street art. It was her name in rainbow colors and whatever. And she was 7 at the time, so I thought it was cute and appropriate. She never hung it up or anything. But my mom found it and decided to get it professionally framed in this really horrendous rainbow picture frame. And my sister had just redone her room, and my mom expected her to hang it up. And she was very embarrassed about the whole thing. And everybody ended up in tears. It was a little uncomfortable, but my little Slinky had saved the night because she was upstairs crying in her room afterwards. And I came up and she was just sitting on the floor playing with the Slinky. And we laughed about birthdays and weird gifts and how strangely wise kids can be, and it ended up being a lot of fun.

[Steve Berg]

Did you do the little thing where you take the Slinky at the top of the stairs and you let it kind of go down?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You mean the Slinky?

[Caller/Guest]

Did not. This was a really cheap Slinky Dollar store Slinky.

[Steve Berg]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Only the metal ones will do that.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Kelsey, what is the. What is the takeaway on this one? What is the advice? I don't think it could be always give someone a Slinky. Can it?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, so that was the student' particular advice to me, but the advice that I took away from it was always consult children, because even though they don't have life experience, they weirdly get life. And they remind us to have fun and find the good in all kinds of moments.

[Jake Johnson]

And during the pandemic, I shaved my beard and my hair one day. I was like, oh, my God, I'm not going to be acting for a while. I haven't been able to do this since I started acting. I think 2011. I was like, weird. I'm in control. So I just was in the backyard one day and I just shaved my hair, my face. And my daughter said, don't do that again. And I said, why? And she Goes, you don't have the nose for it.

[Caller/Guest]

See, kids are very wise.

[Jake Johnson]

I went, it hurts my feelings, but you're right.

[Caller/Guest]

And that is 100% my experience in middle school. They hurt my feelings, but they're always right.

[Jake Johnson]

But when I look at. When I looked straight ahead, I was like, dude, I might be a shaved head guy. Cool. And then my daughter, who's at the profile goes, no, cuz it's your nose. And then I looked at the profile and I was like, ew, without hair. I was like, you know, imagine Owen Wilson with no hair. You're like, ew. Oh, right. You're like, part of what works is you're like, yeah, man, that's not right.

[Caller/Guest]

And I'm sure he's had a child. Tell him exactly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

While we're on childhood advice. And you brought up pizzas. Steve, why don't you just very quickly. Because I thought this was really good advice that one of your teachers, your coaches gave you at the pizza party.

[Jake Johnson]

Will you just tell real quick, Steve, just look.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's just nice.

[Steve Berg]

So we were doing a fundraiser, I think, for like, new soccer warmups in high school. And Mr. Gilpin, our coach, who didn't love him, and he clearly didn't love me, what we were doing is we were ordering a bunch of pizzas and we were selling it, like slices. And I was, I was. You know, and this. He shouldn't have had me working the register at this thing, but I was there just housing pizza. Housing it. And he came around and he got angry and pointed at me like, red face. And he goes, haven't you had enough, Steve? Like, in front of. And all my friends and my friends, we, we were, you know, we were ball busters. Like, we were. They actually, like all got quiet. Like, oh, whoa.

[Caller/Guest]

Was it Connecticut pizza?

[Steve Berg]

No, it wasn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. But what it was was he dug into Steve's soul and did the worst thing ever, which was tell. Embarrass him about how much he loved pizza.

[Steve Berg]

He shamed me.

[Caller/Guest]

You should never be ashamed of that.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, he should. A little bit. We say this because we love him. He can eat a lot of pizza. I had a teacher, Gary Clark, and Gary Clark, saying, he's the gym teacher. His whole thing was, I'm 60 deaf in one ear and I'm 40% deaf in the other. So for my book, that makes me 100% deaf. He was an old guy.

[Caller/Guest]

He was not the math teacher.

[Jake Johnson]

He used to do a thing where he'd go. He'd be like, for a Roll call. He'd be Drake. And rather than say here you'd be like, suck my dick. Because it would be. He'd be like, Sarah Ann, and be like, eat my dick. And then it was, it was first period, so I started just missing all of them. And once you get in the pattern of waking up later, I just came to school second period. And then it was later in the year, in my senior year, and I'd missed like 70 days of gym or something and. And this school had found out that I lived outside of the school district. I was taking the train in from Evanston and there was talk of I might get expelled and not to. And I was already a fifth year senior, so I was like, yeah, ooh, can't do six year. And he was losing his temper at me when I came in and I said like, I've missed. He's like, Sean, you've missed. I think it was like 67 days. He's like, you've missed 67 days consecutively and you're telling me you just were a little sick in the morning?

[Steve Berg]

Morning?

[Jake Johnson]

And I was like, yes, sir. And I'm really asking for another chance. And I was doing my whole sales pitch. And then he goes, you know, I've got five students who are mentally handicapped and I consider you one of them. And I went like, I don't think you could say that, dude. I was like, looking back, I'm like, I know it's the 90s looking back, but I was like, yeah, Gary, I think you just got in trouble, man.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, you missed five days, Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, he, you over fired.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He.

[Jake Johnson]

Then he had me, then I had him. Tone changed. And then he goes, you know, I'm going through a lot going on. He goes, obviously, I didn't mean that. And I was like, hey, I'm. I'm not mad at you. But I was like, you, let's make it right. And he said, why don't you stay after school and do some physical activity? So I was like, can I play basketball? He goes, yeah. And I go like, gary, we got a deal, big daddy. There you go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Kelsey, thank you so much for the call. We appreciate it.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you so much.

[Caller/Guest]

This was so fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Enjoy the pizza, sister.

[Steve Berg]

Hey, and Kelsey, kick the tires and rocket money. Save yourself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, hey. And Kelsey, Kelsey, don't be afraid to eat so much pizza that you get sick and the teacher yells at you too much.

[Caller/Guest]

You know, as somebody who does not care for pizza, I probably will be doing that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Chelsea, we're done with this.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm so sorry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm kidding. We love you, sister. Thank you. DM me say hi. Appreciate it. Love my fans. Thank you.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, real quick, could my sister. My sister whose 20th birthday was two years ago, her birthday is coming up again in a week. Could she just get a quick shout out?

[Steve Berg]

What's her name?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's her name?

[Caller/Guest]

Julia.

[Steve Berg]

Julia. Julia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you, Kelsey.

[Caller/Guest]

This was splendid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Steve Berg]

Happy birthday, Julia. All right, Gareth.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, Stephen, go again. You're hot. Your cash money.

[Steve Berg]

Hey. Welcome to an episode of We're Here to Help, starring Gareth Reynolds, Jake Johnson and special guest star Steve Berg. Coming at you live from Omaha, Nebraska. What is the best advice you've ever got?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's your name, caller?

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, what's your name? Where are you calling from? Damn. So close.

[Caller/Guest]

My name is Kyle. I'm calling from Oregon.

[Steve Berg]

Oregon?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

You ever seen a Bigfoot?

[Caller/Guest]

I have not seen a Bigfoot. I've seen.

[Steve Berg]

People have actually. Jake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What'S the biggest one where someone's seen a Bigfoot? Steve, what's the most notable they ever find the bones?

[Steve Berg]

The Patterson Gimlin film.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Steve, they ever find the bones?

[Steve Berg]

Well, Jake, that's if you believe in a flesh and blood Bigfoot. I do not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a 30 was Bigfoot got run through them.

[Steve Berg]

It's a manifestation of the Gaia Earth energy, just like UFOs are and ghosts are. It's. It's all just localized. They don't come from anywhere else, they come from here.

[Jake Johnson]

So it's just energy? Well, because then you're asking, have you seen any energy in Oregon?

[Steve Berg]

I mean, that's actually stripping it down. That's actually a very intellectual way to look at it, Jake. I'm going to take that into consideration.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Super weird that Jake's done no research or spent any time on it and he just put it the best way you've heard.

[Jake Johnson]

Professor too.

[Steve Berg]

He learned through osmosis from being around a genius like. Like myself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sir, there's no better word for Steve to say than osmosis.

[Steve Berg]

You were.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead.

[Steve Berg]

You were gonna say something. Kyle, shut up.

[Caller/Guest]

Say there's tons of energy in Oregon. We've all seen that.

[Steve Berg]

Thank you, dog. No, proceed with your best advice, please.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we mute the best advice?

[Steve Berg]

No.

[Caller/Guest]

This came from my wife to my family when they were visiting and she said, give more compliments.

[Jake Johnson]

We don't need this advice for Steve.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a great one. And I love your wife. She sounds great.

[Steve Berg]

She's a genius.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's the last thing she made in the oven over 350.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. What's your favorite?

[Jake Johnson]

The advice is give more compliments.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. Which may be a face value. Doesn't sound super interesting, but she did it in the way that she deployed this compliment upon my family, I think is probably. It was just a job well done. Had a big impact.

[Jake Johnson]

Walk us through what happened. How did it come and what was the impact? And Steve, please don't talk. Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

So my. My parents were visiting and my parents and my sister were visiting from Minnesota.

[Steve Berg]

Minnesota.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's so exciting about Minnesota, Steve?

[Steve Berg]

Oh, great place. The Wendigo creature. The Twin Cities, great music scene. The Replacements. Who's Purdue? I could go on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep going. Kyle, I have apologize.

[Jake Johnson]

Your new nickname is.

[Steve Berg]

Thank you.

[Caller/Guest]

So we rented a condo out at the coast. We're hanging out, watching whales and stuff. And then during the evenings, I'll typically sit around the table and just, you know, we'll play like dice and card games.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Caller/Guest]

For a couple hours. Have a couple of beverages.

[Jake Johnson]

Have a couple of jiz.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Adult beverages.

[Jake Johnson]

Froze for a second on mine.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love it.

[Steve Berg]

We hear what we want to hear, don't we?

[Jake Johnson]

Keep going.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right, Stephen.

[Caller/Guest]

Anyways, so yeah, we play games. They take about five minutes a game. Everybody puts in a buck. You know, winner gets the pot, money, that type of deal. And then the person who wins the game gets to pick the next game. And then they also. We also get to just make up rules for the games.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Throw the rule book out. Do your thing. Go ahead. Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

So my wife wins and she makes a rule, picks a game, and then the game has some condition. You know, Everybody starts with 3/4 in front of them and then 75 cents.

[Steve Berg]

Just to catch money.

[Caller/Guest]

And then there's some condition in the game that makes you put a quarter in the middle. And then once everybody's out of quarters, you can win the pot. So what she. The rule that she made was instead of putting the quarter into the pot, interesting, you could give somebody at the table a compliment.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, I love this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's a spicy little garden pepper, isn't she?

[Caller/Guest]

When she made this rule of my mom audibly said, oh, fuck. And just everybody at the table immediately, you know, looks like fearful in their eyes and their nervous. This. We're not a very affectionate bunch. We're all kind of emotionally repressed a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

This is nice, Kyle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is nice.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. Getting that to happen, I think was. It was just great. And then. And so one, everybody at the table sat around and like gave compliments to each other for like 20 minutes. Super nice. And then, you know, probably forced us to do a little bit of introspection to be like, why does it feel weird for me to give my family compliments?

[Steve Berg]

It shouldn't, Right? It's those frigid Minnesota winners, perhaps. Are you from Minnesota yourself, sir?

[Jake Johnson]

Seems to be the wrong question at the moment. Yeah, Not interesting question.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're sort of nodding with sort of an intellectual, sort of pensive nature. But I think what Jake's saying is. That was a misstep.

[Steve Berg]

Let me make some notes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, we don't need the pen for this.

[Jake Johnson]

No, Kyle, I think that's really great, actually. So it's just adding a lit. So I think the thing that I jumped on where I was wrong is I imagined your family is all Steve Bergs. But the reality, if everybody's a little Jake Johnson's. They're all Jake Johnson.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

If everyone's a little bit too tough, it's nice to go around and have to do like. Like a, what do we like about each other? And then you go, well, there's plenty. And it does create a sweetness. That's really nice.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Like, my wife told my dad, she said, you're really good at decorating for Christmas. And I told my mom, I like that you say whatever the you're thinking whenever the you're thinking it.

[Steve Berg]

Kyle.

[Jake Johnson]

So let's do this really fast. Kyle, you're part of this too. Let's all go around and say something nice to everybody on this.

[Steve Berg]

Zoom.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, oh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Around the horn. I love it.

[Steve Berg]

I'll start. It's very easy for me.

[Jake Johnson]

Go ahead, Steve.

[Steve Berg]

Gareth, you are comedically the fastest person on the planet. That's great. Jake, you are an absolutely, truly talented actor. I can watch a movie with you and not like and forget it's you and that same something.

[Jake Johnson]

And for Kyle.

[Steve Berg]

Kyle, buddy, you feel the energy. You obviously have had many Bigfoot encounters, and I feel like you are in touch and tapped into the greater Gaia consciousness. And that is something you can't teach, pal.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kyle, I love your bravery and I love the fact that you were brave enough to call in and share that thing about your family. Jake, you are truly. You're the most savvy business thinker I've ever worked with and also a great communicator. Steve, you are the most pure person I've ever come into contact with.

[Steve Berg]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you never get rattled at being pure.

[Steve Berg]

Feel free to elaborate. Gareth, A little more, if you would. You want?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

Kyle, I'm going to start with you. You have opened up with your question. A sweetness in the show, where I didn't know there were any in this. I thought we were going harsh to finish, because we're just about at the end. So my compliment to you is your openness and your ability to pry open a box that I didn't think was open opening. Gareth, you're one hell of a partner, buddy. You are not only really talented, you make hell of adjustments. And even though you're very sensitive on air, you're not sensitive in real life, where you and I will be able to, like, talk things out and figure it out. And not a lot of people have this, but you'll see the goal. Even if it's like, I know, but it's a little muddy here. But it's not personal. We're just trying to get here. You're very easy to see that goal together and go like, oh, yeah, we can make this thing work, and likewise. But there's just been a lot of people. There's not a lot of people like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That, that you're like, we're getting caught.

[Jake Johnson]

Up in these little. Why are we getting caught? Like, it's not. This has nothing to do with this. We're trying to go there together. Steve, similar to what Gareth was saying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why are you acting like a kid who ended up in a hotel room?

[Jake Johnson]

There's a purity, but also just one of the funniest people on planet Earth. I mean, going from this idea at 8, saying to mom, this is what he said before Gareth. Because I was trying to get to psychologically on the Patreon, I was like, why are you always so nice to mom? Moms? Like, there was a kid, Mike Lyons, who was always nice to moms, but I was like, that's because he had a tough mom. He just wanted a little sweetness for moms. Yeah, I don't think that's it with Steve. And I was like, so what is. And he's not like, the joke of, like, the Stifler of, like, he wants to bone him. I'm like, that's not Steve. So I was like, what? That would be you, Gareth. He'd be like, I'd love to see her underwear drawer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, why don't you take me to the room where you hide all the snacks? We can go get some for Steve together.

[Jake Johnson]

But I'm like, I don't psychologically understand why Steve likes this so much. And then he finally said, they hold the keys to the kitchen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is amazing.

[Jake Johnson]

It's one of the funniest. I will think about that on my deathbed. A little boy going to all the kids, being like, the kid going like, you guys want to come over? Go in the basement. I got like, I got baseball stars on Nintendo. Yeah, yeah. And Steve goes, I'll be right down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He fake walks with the group and then shuts the door behind them.

[Jake Johnson]

Mrs. Branstein, how are you?

[Steve Berg]

Good, Linda, how are you?

[Jake Johnson]

Linda? Linda. What? Can I ask a question? What is that smell?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, good lord. You are whipping up something fancy.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, you know what, Steve? Are you. Do you want to try some? It's. I'm just cooking it up for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, if you need a second set of taste buds, I'm always here.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, this is the best gazpacho I've ever had.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Feeding a child. Cold soup. Even Steve likes cold soup.

[Steve Berg]

I would love items very refined palette at a young age, especially for tomato based products. You know, I will say, guys, what a perfect way to end a. A Thanksgiving episode. This is like what we're grateful for. Isn't it sweet?

[Jake Johnson]

It is sweet. And a little shout out to Eric, who's at the vet.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, let's say this, let's say this.

[Jake Johnson]

I will say mine to Eric is that more than any other human I've ever met on planet. Planet Earth. They broke the mold when they made that one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

He is in such rarefied air on planet Earth that anybody who encounters them and gets to know him a little bit, the big takeaway is it's, you want to know what's deep? I have seen Bigfoot. He shaved a little bit with them once a week.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He shaved a little.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He fell in love with letter grade C Chinese food restaurant.

[Jake Johnson]

But I'll tell you why I'm not interested in UFOs or in Catalina. I'm not interested in L looking at the sea to see if something jumps out because I get Chinese food with the wildest week.

[Steve Berg]

He is our ufo.

[Jake Johnson]

A life fascinating guy where you just get to go, what's going on, King? And I'll go, Smokey Robinson. He's like, man, it's crazy. But let me tell you what's interesting about Smokey Robinson. And I'm like, that's 20 minutes of intel. How did you know that? I threw that out at random. And he's like, how do I know about Smokey Robinson? I read nine books on him. Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

I'm like, when I will say about Eric, I feel like I've never ever met a human being who is living Life to the absolute fullest. There's no downtime for him. There's nothing like I'm a homebody, like I. It is hard to get me out of the house. Especially after 7 o'.

[Jake Johnson]

Clock.

[Steve Berg]

Even when I was younger. Really I need to be getting paid to leave the house. But Eric is like there's no wasted day. A Tuesday, also a Tuesday is a Friday night for him.

[Jake Johnson]

But here's another adjustment that guy made because we all copied that based off Belushi and Farley and the idea of the hard party and act. Who lives in shifts.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Belushi used to live in eight hour shifts. So when we were all young improvisers that meant you were talented.

[Steve Berg]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Eric has converted and done that sober.

[Steve Berg]

Totally.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. He used to be the hard partying guy who could out drink everybody. Now it's like he's doing all these concerts. He's not drinking at them.

[Steve Berg]

No, he's totally sober.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, shocking shock.

[Steve Berg]

And, and, and, and that is so true. Like that guy like is just. He is, he is living so hard.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Steve Berg]

And I don't mean like hard in a way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Every day's a Friday.

[Steve Berg]

Every day Friday to him.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like I will say Eric is a. There is a actual gravitational pull to Eric.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Unlike anyone.

[Steve Berg]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

This is right.

[Steve Berg]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Every wild is pulled in.

[Steve Berg]

He's a magnet. Yes. He's a giant magnet.

[Jake Johnson]

So thank you for everybody who is listening. This is going to air post Thanksgiving but we hope you guys all had a great Thanksgiving. And last but not least, and I hate to say this because I've really tried to close the door on this but can anybody in the Vandy camp family please allow Eric to go to.

[Steve Berg]

The Hundred.

[Jake Johnson]

And Steve were saying mean stuff about it, but really just to teach he's Eric.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's true.

[Jake Johnson]

We have really no opinions on the actual show. I don't know anything about it. What's gone sideways is it felt like we were teasing his new wife or we were teasing Chris or we were teasing the people. Who else went. The reality is we're just teasing Eric.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And Eric truly loves it and has nothing in him besides a deep desire to celebrate Dick Van Djk. There is no spin on it. There's no angle on it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It.

[Jake Johnson]

We are happy to not talk about it on the show but a Christmas miracle would be lifting the ban. We will not bring it up on the show if they don't want or if Dick or his wife or anybody wants to come on the show and advertise for it. We are happy to have you. We have zero bad blood.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, undo the bandy camp.

[Steve Berg]

Unboo the bandy camp.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But undo.

[Jake Johnson]

If you did it for anything we have said on this podcast, Podcast, we all apologize. It's all just for stupid bits. And the reality is the intention was to tease our friend who is dying to celebrate Dick Van Dyke 4. I'm not sure why, because I will say this to that community, he was not a Dick Van dyke Huge fan 10 years ago, but become such a big one recently that, well, he's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Extremely old and that's a little young 10 years ago.

[Jake Johnson]

He loves Dick Van Dyke in a way where Eric and I are talking one on one and I like, what is going on. He was like, I'm sorry you have a negative attitude. Okay, it's me. I guess I'm the crazy one. So if you guys could please lift it and if you don't want us to talk about it, we won't. If we can, we'd like to have you guys on. But out of the real love of Eric, let's get that guy advantage.

[Steve Berg]

Unban the man.

[Jake Johnson]

Unban the man. Guys, I love. Love you.

[Steve Berg]

Love you too. Fellas. What a great one. Great calls today.

[Jake Johnson]

Great calls, Great chat.

[Steve Berg]

Great Rocket Money too.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ Helpful Pod Gmail.com. and if you want to watch video episodes of We We Are Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] hereto help pod to see our entire catalog.

[Steve Berg]

We're Here to Help is produced by.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rabbit Grim Productions executive producers Rob Hollis.

[Jake Johnson]

Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go to Gareth Reynolds dot com. Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only. And all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Jake Johnson]

We've learned a lot about ourselves. That was a sweet ending. Was it not?

[Steve Berg]

Real nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Got real cute. And I'll tell you, cute on you.

[Jake Johnson]

I'll tell you what, never would have happened if they wouldn't have had that sweetness without Rocket Money sponsoring his new friends format. So we want to say thank you to Rocket Money and if you don't know by now, then you're not a fan of the show. But Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. If there's anything the premise of this show is about, that's as Weird Uncle's trying to help you. The number one thing we want to help you with is saving your money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It might be the best advice the show's given. Steve.

[Caller/Guest]

Steve.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where can people start saving today?

[Steve Berg]

Rocket Money, folks. Head on over to Rocket Money. You find them on the Internet.

[Jake Johnson]

He's wrong.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where you want to go is you Want to go RocketMoney.com Help.

[Steve Berg]

Absolutely. Save that money. So you go on the vacation you've been wanting to go on, huh? Cancun? Mount Olympus? The moon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No more.