257: Mouth Tape Nightmare & Montage It Up (with Shabana Azeez)

Summary

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We're Here to Help

Episode 257: Mouth Tape Nightmare & Montage It Up (with Shabana Azeez)
Release Date: February 4, 2026
Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Guest: Shabana Azeez

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Episode Overview

This episode of “We’re Here to Help” features Jake, Gareth, and guest Shabana Azeez (star of "The Pit") fielding wild listener dilemmas, riffing on viral umbrella grievances, and embarking on two headline calls: one about “mouth tape nightmares” in a relationship, and another about what to do with a mystical, unwanted wedding dress. Expect the gang’s signature mix of sincerely–dubious advice, infectious banter, and low-stakes investigatory “science.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Guest Introduction: Shabana Azeez and the Great Umbrella Conundrum (02:00 – 09:29)

• Shabana’s Opening Bit:
  Shabana launches with a “non-self-promotion,” focusing instead on her existential frustration with umbrellas—specifically, why closing them is so ungainly compared to the satisfying, “spy-like” snap of opening them.

• Key Bit:

  • Shabana: “I find the experience of opening an umbrella incredibly fun. I feel like a God. And then I put it back in … and it’s a big moment to get it back in there.” (02:21)
  • She wants an umbrella that closes as thrillingly as it opens—sparking a comedic Shark Tank–style search for innovative umbrella brands.

• Relatability of Umbrella Annoyance:
  Both Jake and Gareth admit to umbrella aversion, with Gareth declaring, “I don’t use umbrellas. And part of the reason I don’t use umbrellas is the close.” (05:11)

• Running Jokes:

  • Height fibbing (Shabana’s casting page claims she's 5’6”): “My lawyer will be present next time I answer questions about this.” (06:01)
  • Shabana is evasive about where she currently lives, embracing “anywhere between 4’10” and 6’ and open to work worldwide” (08:10).

2. Call #1: M’s “Mouth Tape Nightmare” Relationship Challenge (13:25 – 33:38)

Problem Presented:

• M (the caller, age ~21):
  Her boyfriend uses mouth tape for snoring/breathing, but when he does, M suffers recurring, nearly traumatic nightmares themed around being voiceless or in peril (e.g., “my mouth couldn’t open and no sound was being produced”). (19:12)

Discussion Highlights & Approaches:

• Therapeutic Comedy:

  • Gareth: “How is he getting water with mouth tape?” (21:40)
  • Shabana (as "the doctor," jokingly): “What if you went to bed with him and he didn’t wear mouth tape and you did? ... Maybe you’re becoming sort of codependent in some way and you’re like, he’s my mouthpiece. We are one.” (19:41)

• Pitches & Advice:

  • Role Reversal Exposure:
    • Shabana suggests M try wearing the mouth tape herself, or have friends/siblings do so, to experiment whether the nightmares persist independently of the boyfriend. (19:54 / 28:13)
  • Gradual Desensitization:
    • Gareth proposes boyfriend put on mouth tape after M’s asleep, avoiding visual triggers. (21:04)
    • Jake: “What if he spends a day with the tape on his mouth … trying to normalize it outside of sleepy time?” (27:33)
    • Eric Edelstein (guest): “Exposure therapy. Expose yourself more often.” (27:58)
  • Relaxation/Meditation:
    • M notes pre-bed meditation helped reduce nightmare intensity, suggesting it as a continued coping strategy. (25:10)

• Meta-Moment:

  • The hosts invent a “mouth tape” study with M’s sisters, and encourage a “sleep experiments journal.” (29:12)
  • “Let’s try a night of you maybe putting on the mouth tape. … Keep a little bit of a tracking journal for us.” (31:12)

• Deeper Insights:

  • Psychology Today is referenced: “Recurring dreams often resolve from underlying anxieties … reflecting subconscious fears.” (21:54)
  • Shabana: “But in all of this, know your worth is not tied to you using the dress [or, by extension, the mouth tape]. And your life doesn’t happen in your mum and God’s timelines and you’re doing great.” (53:31, later in context.)

• Memorable Quotes:

  • M: “I would have these like terrible nightmares that would kind of incorporate the mouth Tape. … I would try to get help from the dream version of my boyfriend, but it was as if the mouth tape was stitched into my face.” (19:12)
  • Jake: “None of these ideas work if you’re normal.” (48:11)

Action Plan:

• M will:
  • Run a “mouth tape sibling experiment” at slumber parties.
  • Try role reversal (wearing mouth tape herself).
  • Boyfriend puts on tape after she’s asleep.
  • Possibly try white noise/meditation before bed.
  • Report back to the show in approx. a quarter (5–12 weeks).

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3. Call #2: Honora’s Unworn $3,000 Wedding Dress (43:12 – 55:57)

Problem Presented:

• Honora:
  Five years ago, Honora’s mother (after a “message from God”) bought her a wedding dress, promising she’d meet “the love of her life and get married within three months.” Neither occurred. Now Honora feels the dress is a source of family/godly disappointment and is stumped what to do with it. (43:17)

Discussion Highlights & Pitches:

• Key Quotes:

  • Honora: “Now it’s been five years and I just have a wedding dress sitting in my closet.” (43:57)
  • “I want to change my point of view on it. I want it to be something that, you know, brings me joy every time I see it instead of daunts me.” (49:51)

• Pitches:

  • Jake:
    • Organize a Denver “wedding photo shoot” with local bachelors in tuxes, vote on best faux-couple (46:23).
  • Gareth:
    • Leverage the dress for free/discounted experiences by pretending to be newlyweds or tragically abandoned (“raccoon eyes with mascara … like you just got stood up”). (48:04)
  • Shabana:
    • Have a “fancy dress” party where everyone wears an item they never get to use, or host a “Denver area women of divorce wedding gown party night.” (51:01/50:26)

• Themes & Tone:

  • No suggestion is off the table, so long as Honora’s into it. Everyone agrees the dress’s power is symbolic, not destiny-defining.
  • Shabana: “If anybody tries to hook up with you while you’re wearing a wedding dress, that person is not a life partner.” (49:07)

• Resolution:

  • Honora decides she wants to have a fake wedding—a montage day out in the dress, hopefully with a show-arranged “low-rent groom.”
    • The show “puts the bat signal out” for Denver men in tuxedos with no shame to contact [e-mail] to be part of the adventure. (55:55)
  • Further suggestions: join a “wedding dress bar crawl,” or, after the day of fun, sell or donate the dress for closure.
  • Shabana clincher: “Your life doesn’t happen in your mom and God’s timelines and you’re doing great.” (53:31)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Context | |-----------|-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:21 | Shabana | “I find the experience of opening an umbrella incredibly fun. I feel like a God.” | | 06:01 | Shabana | “My lawyer will be present next time I answer questions about this [her true height].” | | 14:58 | M | “He finally got vulnerable enough to start sleeping with mouth tape. … I would have … nightmares where I’d wake up sobbing.” | | 19:12 | M | “It was as if the mouth tape was stitched into my face. … Every time I tried to scream … no sound was being produced.” | | 19:54 | Shabana | “What if you went to bed with him and he didn’t wear mouth tape and you did? … Maybe you’re becoming sort of codependent in some way and you’re like, he’s my mouthpiece. We are one.” | | 27:33 | Gareth | “What if he spends a day with the tape on his mouth … trying to normalize it outside of sleepy time?” | | 28:13 | M | “Should I ask [my sisters] to sleep with mouth tape and see what happens?” | | 31:12 | Gareth | “Keep a little bit of a tracking journal for us. … When you come back for a follow up, we know what’s the leader.” | | 48:11 | Jake | “None of these options work if you’re normal.” | | 49:07 | Shabana | “If anybody tries to hook up with you while you’re wearing a wedding dress, that person is not a life partner.” | | 53:31 | Shabana | “Know that your worth is not tied to you using the dress … your life doesn’t happen in your mom and God’s timelines and you’re doing great.” |

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Call Timelines

• Umbrella bit / Shabana intro: 02:00–09:29
• Call #1 “Mouth Tape Nightmare”: 13:25–33:38
• Call #2 “Wedding Dress Dilemma”: 43:12–55:57

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Tone and Banter

• Frequently self-deprecating (“None of these ideas work if you’re normal.”)
• Emphasizes playful groupthink (“We’re all sharks now” in the umbrella scene)
• “Doctor” jokes referring to Shabana’s character on “The Pit” (“Put on her cape!”)
• Careful to balance comic mayhem with genuine care for the callers.

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Conclusion & Follow-Ups

• M will run experiments with mouth tape (her, boyfriend, siblings), noting effects, and check back in with results after a “season.”
• Honora will have a montage day in her wedding dress—possibly including a staged wedding photoshoot—and the team is soliciting Denver volunteers to help.
• Shabana Azeez’s umbrella quest and career shenanigans are woven throughout, amplifying the show’s fun, irreverent energy.

Final Notes:
This episode exemplifies the series’ blend of humor, empathy, and outlandish but heartfelt problem-solving. Both key calls are left open for follow-up, inviting listeners and community participation—whether it’s in the search for tuxedo’d “grooms” or the perfect, dramatic umbrella.

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Transcript

[A]

Well, good afternoon. This is your little friend, Stephen Berg, and this is a message going out to all you fantastically brilliant vasectomy doctors. I have a little proposal for you all. My wonderful friend and brother, Gareth Reynolds is looking to get a vasectomy done because he is making the choice to not bring children into this world. And you know what? I respect that opinion. Nobody wants a bunch of little garrets running around. Boy, try saying. Try pluralizing Gareth with a lisp. That's not easy. Nobody wants a bunch of little Garrett's running around when Gareth himself doesn't want that. So, doctors out there, what we are looking for, what we are wanting, if possible, is for you to give our friend Gareth a vasectomy. Now. We'll pay for it. He's got cobra. He's got great insurance. That's not the issue. Here comes the little angle we're taking. We would like to document this on a little thing called videotape. This is a plea. This is a call to all vasectomy doctors in the lower 48 in the United States. Please, oh, please, let our little friend Gareth Reynolds get a vasectomy and let us videotape it. We're talking to Hi8. You know, like a gritty. You know, it'll look good, it'll be classy, it'll be artsy. You will come off looking like an absolute hero. That's a Burgundy. Thank you. Enjoy this message and enjoy this episode. Bye. Bye.

[B]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[C]

Now, what do you got, Shabana? How do you like working on the pit?

[B]

I like working on the pit, but are we allowed to promote things that aren't anything to do with our careers?

[D]

Absolutely. That's exciting.

[B]

Great. There's this umbrella brand that I'm really looking into right now because I find it quite upsetting. Okay. Immediately going badly.

[D]

It's going great.

[B]

I. I find the experience of opening an umbrella incredibly fun. It just comes out.

[E]

Whoa.

[B]

I feel like a God. And then I put it back in. I'm not the strongest person in the world, and it's like a big, you know, a moment to get back in there. And so there's. There's some brands have been pitched from people on Twitter who've been really kind, but. But I really want to actually almost put a call out to the world to ask them to. If there's a Kickstarter, if there's, like, a startup company that has an umbrella that is as to close as it is to open.

[C]

So basically, is. What you're looking for is this is a version of Shark Tank. Have seen Shark Tank?

[B]

I've never seen Shank, but I've heard of it.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

You know of Shark Tank? So Gareth and I are in a spin off version of Shark Tank called We're Here to Help. You're also a shark. And what we're looking for is umbrella companies.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

That we could invest in that are easy to open and easy to close.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

I want to say it's not so much about ease as it is about. I mean, it is about ease, but it's also about. I don't know if I can swear.

[D]

But that's your second.

[C]

Did you say. I didn't. You were saying.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

What the hell is with an umbrella?

[B]

Oh, so because, you know, when you open, you press that button and it goes. And I feel like I'm a Russian spy. I feel like I'm a spy.

[D]

Peacock.

[B]

Yeah, it's like a big. Yes. Thank you. And so I want that experience of feeling like a Russian spy when I just close it. You know, it's.

[D]

I. Jake, I don't know how you feel. I do feel like this is a fair problem. It. You do. I don't get it. Well, you feel. When you open the umbrella, you feel very. It's. I've arrived. And then you're kind of this little weirdo, like, excuse me while I put my stuff away.

[B]

Imagine. Imagine if you had. If you had a ballpoint pen that every time you opened, it was like. But when you closed it, had to wind it away.

[D]

I mean.

[C]

Okay, I do get it that you get it.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Interesting.

[D]

Now, wait, Shabana. But you've been talking about this online enough where people are. This is a big enough problem where you've really been going through it with this.

[B]

I have decided I'm not. I'm not about fame necessarily, but I have a few followers on Twitter. And I went, oh, what I can do with this is outsource you. They're like, my chat GPT. Instead of using AI, I use people on the Internet to be like, if I wanted bread, that was good. How do I get that?

[C]

You know?

[D]

Yeah, I think we all do that. But it.

[C]

Outsourcing everything. It's the best.

[D]

But it's also an amazing one to be like, I have a problem. How do I get this umbrella away? And I look smooth.

[B]

And I look smooth.

[C]

But it's interesting, though, because you're totally right. I don't use umbrellas. And part of the reason I don't use umbrellas is the clothes.

[D]

Wait, wait, Wait, do you mean you exclusively will not use an umbrella?

[C]

I don't use umbrellas.

[D]

I mean, that's wild.

[B]

No, no, no. I also avoid umbrellas. Are you short or are you tall? Or maybe this is a triggery question to ask a man I don't know.

[C]

No, it isn't. I'm a medium king. 5 10.

[B]

Medium king. Great. I'm. I am 5 3, and I'm lying about that. And so you're less than five three? Yes.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I'm quite short. And my thing is, whenever I'm holding an umbrella, I have to hold it up here so that I'm not being an to the people that are six feet tall.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Otherwise, I'm going straight for the jugular.

[C]

So you lied about five three. What do you walk around at? You five' one?

[B]

My lawyer will be present next time I answer questions about this.

[C]

Well, guess what? I'm representing.

[B]

I, I actually, I was looking at my casting profiles. I was in a meeting with a casting director the other day and she showed me my casting profile that my, my management have organized for me, and they've got my Height listed as 5 6.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

Wow. By the way.

[D]

With a number.

[C]

You know what that is in real life, though? In other who cares News, Because I'll tell you what, you're just really going against the whoever number one on call sheet is, however tall they are.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

What.

[C]

Did I get lost?

[D]

No, you. No, I mean, you bl. You seem to be thrown by that shabone.

[B]

No, you.

[E]

Wow.

[C]

The lead actors. Five foot five.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's a. He's a star and it's an action movie. Yeah, well, he's six foot two for the movie's point of view. And if you are five one, then you heard six, then you're five ten.

[D]

That's wild.

[B]

Yeah, I've had actually multiple people come up to me after screenings of things and be like, look significantly above my head and be like, oh, I thought you'd be taller. Like, you seem tall on tv and that shit feels good. But then it feels bad because they've.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, it feels good and bad at the same time.

[B]

Yeah, like most good things. Yeah.

[C]

Where are you from?

[B]

Australia. Australia. My parents are from Fiji. I'm from Australia.

[C]

Cool. Where do you live now?

[B]

That's a great question. Wherever. I'm just begging people for a job. Just like on my knees. So I'm on the pit. When I'm on the pit, I'm in la. And then otherwise I'm. I'll go to the Romanian wilderness and live in the tent. I don't care. I just want to be employed. I've been unemployed for a long time, and I don't want to do it anymore.

[D]

So you will not even disclose where you actually are located because you are open to being anywhere so much.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

As long as they have an umbrella that closes quickly.

[C]

Yeah. So here's what we've learned about you, okay? You don't want to do any promotion.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[C]

Umbrella company. You will not talk your height. You will not say where you live. You're anywhere between 4, 10 and 6ft, and you are anywhere available.

[D]

Romania is an option.

[B]

Yeah, great. Well, that's what we know.

[D]

People should watch the Pit, even though.

[C]

Where can people find you?

[B]

People can find me on the Pit on HBO Max or Spectrum TV or. Or I don't know what it is in the UK now. You can find me on the Pit, which is great. It's a great show.

[C]

Very bad job with her money.

[D]

It would be great for a pin episode for someone to come in with an umbrella for you to be like, my God, it won't close.

[B]

Probably I'll pitch it.

[D]

Yeah, okay, great.

[C]

If there is a. If anybody on the creative side of the Pit is listening or hears this, please start having Shivani. Use umbrellas every chance you've got. And right in. She has to close it on camera. Yes. We can get one moment of you from this closing umbrella on camera. That feels like a win.

[D]

And likewise to our audience, if you have any umbrella solutions or any leads, I think that's. Let's talk.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, we're here to help. I guess I've been the first person you've helped today.

[D]

That's. I. I think that's fair.

[B]

That's beautiful.

[C]

I think that's fair, too.

[D]

We haven't helped yet, but we're on the path.

[C]

Yes, Natalie, we got a caller.

[B]

We do have a caller. Also, we have Eric, and I don't know why.

[C]

Send him in.

[D]

He's just gonna join us. How did he get. Did you send him the link?

[C]

I sent him the link. We were gonna have him in. We'll just do a. Briefly. He'll join the call for a little bit, then we'll get rid of him. For over 50 years, Walden University has helped working adults turn ambition into action through flexible distance learning. Today, our mission is simple. Provide access to education for professionals ready to level up and create real change. Walden is where students get the w. Those big and small wins that help them move forward and create the change they want to see in their lives, careers and communities. With a hundred plus degrees and certificates, it's never been easier for students to find a program that matches their goals. With graduate degrees in nursing, social work, counseling and psychology, as well as undergraduate and certificate programs, Walden empowers students with the skills and the guidance to get it done.

[D]

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[C]

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[D]

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[D]

Hello there.

[F]

Hello.

[D]

Hi.

[A]

Hi.

[D]

How are you?

[F]

I'm good. How are you?

[D]

I'm good, thank you. Can, can we get your name please?

[F]

Yeah, I'm gonna go by M today.

[D]

M? Just the letter. Okay. Em, how old are you roughly?

[F]

I'm about 21.

[D]

You're about 21.

[C]

Em, we gotta stop you for a second. Eric Edelstein just jumped on as well.

[E]

Hey, I'm here.

[F]

Hi, I am. What a privilege.

[E]

Thank you. I appreciate that.

[D]

So we have, we have Eric, who just joined us. You have Jake, you have myself, and we also have one of the stars from the pit, Shabana Aziz is here joining us too. She's looking for umbrella solutions, but we'll leave that alone for now. But so you've got a lot. There's a lot of people who are going to help you. This, this actually feels a little like the pitch about it. Like we're kind of surrounding the problem and we'll be attacking it as much as possible.

[B]

Exactly. Like the Pit.

[D]

Okay. Okay. So where are you calling from? And then tell us what your issue is today that we can help you with.

[F]

Okay, so I'm calling from the general northeast area. And so basically my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now, but most of it was long distance because he was studying abroad. But he came back last semester, so we were finally dating in person and it was going great. You know, we were like responding and we. No, it's still going great.

[D]

Keep going.

[F]

But he finally got like vulnerable enough to start sleeping with mouth tape. And I had no problem with this, I thought. But every time he started sleeping with mouth tape, I would have like borderline traumatic nightmares where I'd wake up sobbing and would have to sleep with the lights on and watch TV just to go back to sleep.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Why? That, I think is just to put a finer point on that for us, if you can. You. You sounded fine with it, but then you'd wake up horrified and cry. Is that.

[F]

Yeah, like, like, I thought I was fine with it, but then when I went to sleep, I would have these like terrible nightmares that would kind of incorporate the mouth Tape. So I think that secretly my brain for some reason is interpreting it as an enemy or like a threat to my well being. So I don't know how to train myself to stop thinking like that. Because our solution now is that he just stopped using it. But I feel like that's not sustainable.

[D]

Just very quickly. Okay, we're all calibrating here.

[B]

He.

[D]

He is. The reason he wore the mouth tape was to stop the snoring.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

And then now you're comfortable with him not wearing the mouth tape. Is he snoring and is it bothering you just maybe less than the mouth tape nightmares?

[F]

I mean, he snores, but yeah, I'll take snoring over the nightmares. But he does want to keep using the mouth tape because it helps his breathing.

[D]

The goal here. Go ahead, Shabana. Yeah, jump in.

[E]

We have a medical professional here.

[D]

Yeah, we do have Shabbana.

[B]

I'm a doctor and I just wanted to ask, have you ever taped your mouth?

[F]

I have not, but that is okay. So just to give some context on the types of dream I have.

[A]

It.

[F]

Is kind of incorporated. So the first dream, both of them have been like a pseudo reality situation where I can't tell what's real and what's a dream because I'm having a nightmare within a nightmare essentially every time he sleeps with mouth tape.

[A]

Wow.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Jesus Christ.

[F]

It's very complex.

[B]

Do you live together permanently?

[F]

No, we don't.

[B]

Do you still have the nightmares when he's wearing the mouth tape in a separate. In his own house?

[F]

I don't know, actually, I haven't. I don't really ask him when he.

[D]

That's a great, great question, Shabana. Are you pitching. They break up. Is that what you're.

[B]

I'm pitching a documentary.

[D]

I am agreeing to also throw some money at that.

[B]

Can you tell if other people are wearing mouth tape? Like, like, would you do an experiment for a week if you gave a random selection of your friends mouth tape? And then every morning I think she. Zoe was wearing mouth.

[D]

We're asking a lot of everyone to give everyone mouth tape. Okay, so, em, let me ask you this. The problem we're trying to solve, just bottom line it for us real quick, just so we know we're helping you in the right direction before we start taping the mouths of your friends, which I'm open to, by the way right now.

[E]

It's the best solution.

[D]

Absolutely, of course. Is that what we're going for here?

[F]

I mean, I'm open, I guess, to asking my friends to tape their Mouths. But I think the broader issue. So basically every dream I've had has resulted in like. Or it's consisted of some sort of terrifying events. Like the first one, I was being possessed by a demon and I was trying to like, scream out and like, wake up my. Because my boyfriend was sleeping in my dream. So something bad would happen to me in my dream that was really scary. And I would try to get help from the dream version of my boyfriend, but it was as if the mouth tape was stitched into my face. And so every time I tried to scream, like my mouth couldn't open and no sound was being produced. So every time he sleeps with mouth tape, I have a nightmare where my mouth is like stitched shut and I can't get help.

[E]

Wow.

[D]

We have gotten a clear question basically, right? And the clear question is basically, how do we, how do we kind of bridge the gap between keeping him satisfied with his mouth tape and not snoring, which is not giving you a good night's sleep? And how do we find our way to you not having extreme stress nightmares over mouth?

[F]

Exactly.

[D]

Over him wearing them.

[F]

Exactly. That's the question.

[B]

Can I pitch some science?

[D]

Absolutely, sure.

[B]

I know I already pitched the experiment with the friends, but also, what if you went to bed with him and he didn't wear mouth tape and you did? Would you still have.

[E]

Brilliant, Brilliant.

[F]

So I should try the mouth tape.

[B]

And he doesn't wear mouth tape. You know, maybe you're becoming sort of codependent in some way and you're like, he's my mouthpiece. We are one. What if you can't talk and he can.

[D]

I also, I kind of love that.

[E]

I think we just moved from tiddlywinks to chest.

[D]

That's quite a leap. Eric. I don't know if we. I don't know. We did it.

[E]

You know why? Because the good doctor put on her cape.

[D]

I want to be clear that Shabana is not an actual doctor.

[E]

She plays a medical student on TV in a pit show.

[D]

I understand that point.

[E]

That's the same thing, Gareth.

[D]

Without question. This is what I would say to you is, I like that pitch. We're probably going to have to do a follow up and find some of the results of what this is. My pitch would be, does he show you that he's putting the mouth tape on before you guys go to bed together?

[F]

Like, yeah, I know when he's putting it on.

[D]

I'm curious if he lets you go to sleep first and he almost doesn't because I actually go on the road with a guy for standup and I share a room and he does the mouth tape.

[E]

What?

[D]

It's not great. My life could be better.

[E]

Are you kidding me, buddy?

[D]

My career could be better without question. But what I'm wondering is if you go to bed and he lets you pass out first, then he self hostages his mouth so that you don't have to see it, maybe it's a. Since it's out of sight, out of mind sort of thing would be my question.

[F]

I think that could work. The only concern with that is that whenever like he wakes up at night, like to get water or something or go to the bathroom, I also wake up a little bit. So what if he's trying to put it on?

[D]

How is he getting water with mouth tape?

[F]

I think you can take it off.

[D]

But doesn't it lose its adhesive? For those just listening, Siobhan, it did do a pretty. It was excellent tutorial on removing it.

[E]

I am looking right now at Psychology Today and it says recurring dreams.

[D]

I thought they blocked her.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

No, no, that restraining order went away. Often resolve from underlying anxieties. Insecurities are unresolved issues in the relationship reflecting your subconscious fears. So you know, this is new and I, I think the suggestion of you putting on mouth tape is world class.

[D]

I like it too.

[E]

I think that would start to do it. But I think it's beyond the mouth tape and it's definitely triggering something that's deeper in the relationship than just mouth tape.

[D]

But on the surface, for now, without unearthing too many of her inside anxieties. Mouth logistics, Mouth tape. Eric. I also like shabanas. Do you have any ideas as far? I mean, as a snorer, do you have any outside solutions? Eric Edelstein?

[E]

I mean, I. This is. We're getting close to home here, but I've had this lingering bronchitis and my wife has slept the last few nights in our guest room. And there's also an issue. I'm a sweater. So she has this feather bed, a koyuchi. It's some Japanese linen. We're getting deep here. Shabani and I can't have that on the bed. So now the thing is, her perfect cozy bed is in the guest room. So if I start to snore, she very gleefully goes in the guest room. But we don't want to turn into sleeping in another room. But that's why I went.

[F]

Have you tried Scandinavian sleeping?

[E]

No. What's that?

[F]

So that's when. So you have like two people like sleep In a bed together, but you have separate comforters. So, like, if one person's a hot. Like a hot sleeper, they can just take it off, but it doesn't affect the other person.

[D]

Have you heard of this?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

[D]

Thoughts, pro?

[B]

Well, I. I mean, I love it. Conceptually. The only reason I date men is because of their body heat, because I don't produce my own body heat. And so the Scandinavian situation is sort of antithetical to the own. The reason I would date a. Which is to feel warmth at night.

[D]

That's really the only. The. The main reason is for the.

[B]

The heat and think. And think about it and you're not questioning it. Think about.

[D]

No, I. Honestly, as a man, I get it.

[E]

The number one thing I can actually bring to the world is body warmth, But I don't.

[B]

I'm cold, period. Like, I don't. I'm like a lizard. And so it's really. Yeah. The Scandinavian thing is not for me, but I think it's for you, maybe. Eric? Yeah.

[D]

Have you tried white noise Mike?

[F]

Oh, for his snoring? Yeah, I think for him, I mean, I don't really care about the snoring. I'm a deep sleeper. But he is really into, like. He likes the mouth tape because of, like, it forces him to breathe through his mouth.

[D]

I'm not. I'm not pitching. I'm not pitching. He doesn't wear the mouth tape. I'm wondering if that maybe does something to your stress sleep. Maybe it covers the tracks of that a little bit separately.

[F]

I can try that. I can try that. I mean, this. So the second time I had a nightmare, the nightmare was, like, significantly less scary. And it's because we meditated before bed. So I'm wondering if, like, a soothing situation could be good.

[D]

Well, why did you stop? Why did you do it? Why would you not go back to the meditation?

[F]

Well, well, because I still had a nightmare. Like, it was still scary. It was just, like, less scary. And it was, like, during finals. So I didn't really have. I couldn't afford to not sleep well. So the solution was just to just not use mouth tape.

[E]

I mean, this was my first pitch, but I don't want to be a parody of myself. And this is my lane. But David Lyncher say, if you do just a little bit of meditation before you go to sleep, there's a very good chance you're not going to think of horrific scenarios of your partner in dreamland.

[F]

It's true. I believe it.

[B]

Do you speak out for yourself? In your real life.

[F]

Oh, yes.

[B]

Fascinating. I really thought you, you there was some. You were yourself in some ways. You're saying it's about real life and you're having these dreams where you can't speak up. Your boyfriend's mouth tape is fusing onto your mouth.

[F]

No, I would like maybe argue that sometimes I speak up too much.

[D]

Interesting. Interesting.

[E]

Or is that just what you think? I think we like you speaking up in general. I think the, the benefit of mouth tape is a man can't speak. I would, I would think.

[D]

Right. I think, I think we're what we're.

[E]

All ten of our brains. It's like we're just evolved.

[D]

But we're so hot. We are warm. And we're like sharing a Super 8.

[E]

With a touring stand up comedian.

[D]

I wish. Super.

[E]

That's the problem, buddy. We're getting the deeper stuff with all of us here right now, Shabana seems like the only sane one.

[D]

I wonder if there's a way to create an even safer environment. And since you feel like he's like, if there's a way to safeen up the room for you a little bit, what we're going to honestly have to do is we're going to have to have you go off. Have you told him you're calling the show? Is he aware of how much this is affecting you? Probably for yourself.

[C]

So much.

[D]

Okay. Yeah. I think you are going to have to go off in the field and do some of these.

[B]

Shabana, I have an idea.

[D]

Let's go. Umbrella.

[B]

It's not good. I'm going to preface it with that. This is not.

[D]

None of them are.

[F]

That's okay.

[B]

But, but I. Have you seen those videos of people talking with their mouth closed?

[D]

No.

[B]

Why don't you learn that language, babe?

[F]

Oh, oh.

[E]

Common ground. And pitch a tent.

[D]

Wait a minute. That actually leads me, that leads me to an idea. What if we did this him? What if he spends a day with the tape on his mouth casually hanging and talking to you and we're sort of trying to normalize it outside of sleepy time.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

So it's not like an enemy, it's just like part of normal day.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

I believe they call that exposure therapy. Expose yourself more often.

[F]

Of course.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

I might have an idea based on an earlier pitch.

[D]

Go. What do you got?

[E]

Give us.

[F]

So our early pitch was that I should try the mouth tape. But I am back home now and he's at his respective hometown right now. We're not together for winter break physically. But now that I'm at home I have slumber parties with my sisters. So I'm wondering, should I ask them to sleep with mouth tape and see what happens app.

[D]

So pardon my French. Fucking lutely.

[E]

Brilliant. Yeah. You're close to the source, sister. You're. You're close. The meditating. This idea, I think we're really coming on to something here.

[D]

Shabana, this was kind of your idea. Will you co sign this as our first port of call?

[B]

Yeah, co signed. Get the sisters to do mouth check. Also, you're already having nightmares. Don't make yourself meditate and do extra stuff. Get other people to do the labor for you.

[D]

So, okay, there's a, there's a, there's a.

[B]

The doctor knows the siblings are four.

[E]

All right, all right, you're good, you're good.

[C]

Kidding.

[D]

So, all right, and here's where we're at. Our first thing you're gonna do is you're gonna go to wherever the hell they sell mouth tape, a CVS or something like that. You're gonna get it, you're gonna present it to your siblings. You're gonna tell them that probably tonight they need to put mouth tape on for your adult slumber party. We'll find out the results of that, maybe start. If you could maybe keep a little bit of a tracking journal for us. So you know, and that when you come back for a follow up, we know what's the leader. Then when you and your boyfriend get back in person together, let's try a night of you maybe putting on the mouth tape. Let's try maybe him putting on the mouth tape before dinner for an evening. You watch a movie. Like Shabana said, he learns to speak through his tape like someone who's been thrown in the back of a van without his permission. Then we will also maybe do a version where he tell. Doesn't tell you that he's putting on mouth tape. He lets you pass out first. He puts on the mouth tape after you're asleep. I think that's pretty much it. It's obviously.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

For her to do.

[D]

I say I could see us doing this in 14 days. We could come back with solid. I'm serious. Let's set a deadline for this. When can you get back in touch with us and we can find out the results of your weird sleep tape study?

[F]

Okay, so I am at home until January 13th, so I won't see you while 14th? Yeah, it'll be a while.

[D]

What do we want to say? We want to say maybe five weeks. You check back in Shabana?

[B]

Yeah, I Can give her a season. Let's give her, you know, like. Give her like you.

[D]

What do you want to talk. You're talking leaves off trees.

[B]

Give her a quarter. Because you've got a lot of science to do. You've got like white noise machines to buy. I don't know what. Financially, what the situation is, but there's a lot of investing.

[D]

We don't get involved in that part. We pretend everyone's rich. No, I'm okay.

[B]

And separately, because I do think. Eric, I think you should start wearing mouse tape.

[E]

Should I? I will do it because I view.

[C]

You as a doctor and this is what I'm prescribing.

[B]

But I also think that it's interesting because you've got quite a bit of facial hair and I'm interested to see if it sticks.

[D]

Well, Em, how do you feel? Do. Do you feel like you've got everything All. All the walking orders or the sleeping orders, as they were for you to go off and once the seasons change, check back in Shabana, maybe you can join us for that so we can really, you know, see where we're at. Because honestly, this is not something you and accomplish now or even in the next couple weeks. Do you feel comfortable going and trying all these or maybe seeing if a combination of these gets you back on track?

[F]

Yeah, I think this is a great plan. Just as of now, we've just been doing nothing, so.

[D]

And then I think Shabbat, worst case, I think what Shabana said, which is break up with him. I mean, I think that is again.

[E]

Really only there for their body heat. Anyway, I think Shabana's stumbled onto that. There's a lot of heat to be found somewhere else and not have nightmares. Right? Yeah.

[B]

Central heat, I suppose.

[F]

I suppose. I think maybe he provides a little bit more than body heat.

[E]

I'm concerned maybe. I don't. I know Gareth doesn't. It's probably why he's subliminally.

[D]

I run.

[E]

Sharing a hotel room with another touring stand up comic.

[D]

I run. I run.

[E]

Which we're gonna discuss after you hang up. Don't you worry, Gareth.

[D]

We're cutting it out of the episode and the conversation.

[E]

We're cutting this out, buddy.

[D]

Well, m. That's what you got to do. So let us know and. And we'll talk to you once the flowers start to bloom.

[F]

Perfect. Sounds good.

[D]

All right, go get them.

[B]

Honored to meet you.

[F]

Have a good one.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Thank you, Em.

[D]

It was an honor.

[F]

Me as well.

[D]

Watch the pit. Em, do you have any umbrella? Ish. Do when you open an umbrella and you close it, do you feel, do you ever close the umbrella and have an issue with how it closes?

[F]

Yeah, I'm not really well versed in umbrellas because I was born and raised in the desert. So I only just got an umbrella for the first time like two years ago.

[D]

Interesting. All right, well listen, we're just, we're out there, we're trying to find some stuff. It's a separate. Yeah, it's a separate sort of thing. All right em, go get em.

[B]

Yay science. Thanks em.

[E]

Thank you.

[D]

Go get em by.

[C]

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[E]

Now, I'll tell you what's terrifying for me is when I go to New York and it's raining and everybody has umbrellas because I'm a tall gentleman and everybody's talking about the points of those umbrellas are all going, she's the one.

[D]

Doing that to you. Oh, well, it might be under 5ft. We're not 100%.

[E]

I'm not built for this world. It's one of those things you do not think about. Jake Johnson is back. Jake just had an incredible phone call. But we have an even bigger issue that I really want to bring you in on now. During the call, Garrett beyond umbrellas. During the call, Gareth just casually threw out. He knows he shares a hotel room, not always with a stand up comic that's opening for him. This kid is sitting at his house, he just taped a special.

[D]

Cut that out.

[E]

Hotel rooms have never been cheaper. There is a deeper issue if you are sharing a hotel room with another man. Please help us out.

[B]

I actually think I kind of really respect what you're doing, Gareth.

[D]

Thank you, Siobhan.

[B]

I think inconvenience is the price you pay for community. And I think this guy wants to be friends with some funny people. He's literally going. He's doing his tour, he's finding people he thinks are funny and he's going, he gonna put them in the same room as me. We can hang out all day everyday, slumber party with a funny person. I don't know. I mean, I've never been on tour. Actually, I used to do comedy.

[E]

Changed.

[B]

I've completely forgot about that. Yeah, I did. Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.

[D]

So there it is.

[E]

I think it's amazing you forgot about that. How long did you do standup tour?

[B]

I. Oh, my God, I can't believe I totally blanked on this. I did musical comedy by accident with a friend who wanted to do musical comedy. And she signed me up for a competition as a duo. And I went to her house and I was like to pick her up for Ted Dago to a movie. And she was like, hey, do you sing? And I was like, yeah. And she was like, great. We're competing in a comedy competition on Thursday. It was Monday. We've never done comedy before, either of us. And then we got to states and then we just kept getting asked to do stuff. So it just got out of hand. It was. And it. We just. And then we'd do like a run on Fringe and then we'd win an awards. We had to turn somewhere else.

[E]

You just Wait, that's where classy standups go, Gareth.

[D]

I've heard of it.

[C]

It's.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I totally forgot I did comedy. Wow. Sorry, that's. I need to talk about my therapist with. I need to talk to my therapist about that. This is not a bad.

[E]

Encouraging that more on this show know it's a good thing.

[B]

Sorry, continue. Let's bully Gareth.

[C]

Hey, Shabana, how did you get started? What were you doing before comedy Before?

[B]

Well, I was acting.

[C]

So what's your origin story? How did you get into this? How did you get into doing fringes? How did it all start?

[B]

Do you have friendship? Do you have friends?

[C]

Yeah, I did.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I used to do a two persons comedy show. We did all the fringes in the States. I loved them.

[B]

Oh, yeah. So I guess we're the same. But. But I started because I. I didn't get to drama school because my parents wouldn't let me be an actor. They were like, that's crazy. We're immigrants. You're being crazy. And they were right, because you don't make money as an actor.

[E]

Or.

[B]

I mean, I didn't for sure for a minute. And then I went. I was allowed to do one drama school edition in my life. And then they were like. And after this audition, we don't want to hear about it ever. If you don't get in, we never want to hear about acting ever again. I crashed my car on the way to the audition, had the worst edition of my life, did not get into Dr. And then I was like, well, that was the deal.

[C]

I'll.

[B]

I'll just shut up about it now forever. And then a few years later, I was doing like an arts media degree, which is actually the perfect training ground, I think, for an actor, because I. I'm not from L. A. I'm not. I have no connections. So I think as an actor, instead of learning how to act, you need to learn how to be unemployed. And an arts degree is actually the perfect way to learn that. I'm so good at being unemployed, it's no issues with that. So. So I did that. And then, yeah, I was working at an office and my boss, who was a producer of films, said, what do you actually want to do? Because this is not what you're passionate about. And I was like, I'd love to act. And within an hour, she got me on audition and I booked it. And it was.

[E]

What was that first job you booked?

[B]

It was a short film that the place I was working was producing because we were like an emerging filmmakers Hub. And it was. I played a cat that got turned into a human.

[E]

Cool.

[D]

Sure. We've all been there. Do we have a caller? Natalie?

[B]

We do have a caller. Eric, thank you for joining us for.

[F]

The mouth tape nightmare.

[D]

I think Jake is about to take over.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Awesome to meet Shabana. Talk to you later.

[B]

Lovely to meet you. Tell me about the mouth tape.

[D]

Yeah. Fire. Hello.

[F]

Hi.

[D]

Hi. Welcome to the show. Can we get your name please?

[F]

Yeah, my name is Honora.

[D]

What's your name again?

[F]

Honora. Just like Honor.

[D]

And then I bet you're very used to saying that. Honora. Where are you calling from? Honora?

[F]

I'm calling from Denver.

[D]

Honora. We have Jake, we have myself and we have Shabana. Aziz is joining us. So we won't get into her umbrella issues yet, but.

[C]

But they exist. But we know she's little.

[D]

We know she's little and she's probably. Yeah, well, we're not sure. She's between 411 and she might be.

[C]

Or big.

[D]

Yeah, we're not sure.

[B]

Yeah, but we're not here about that. We're here for you, Honor.

[D]

That's exactly right. Thank you, Shabana. All right, Honor, what is going on?

[F]

So, long story short, my mom, who is very religious, sat me down about five years ago and said I'd had a conversation with God. He's told me that if I buy you a wedding dress, you will meet the love of your life and get married within the next three months. So if you let me, I'll buy you a wedding dress. It was not something I wanted to do. I was very single. But because I love and respect my mother, I let her do it for me. Three months went and came. Did not be the love of my life, did not get married. And now it's been five years and I just have a wedding dress sitting in my closet.

[D]

Shabana, this shocked you. Obviously.

[B]

I love God.

[D]

We're seeing.

[C]

Oh my God.

[B]

It's the dress.

[D]

Wow. I don't know if I'm comfortable explaining a wedding dress. It looks. Oh, okay. There you are in the wedding dress.

[F]

Thank you.

[C]

You look good.

[F]

This is a three thousand dollar dress and I feel like it is going to waste.

[B]

Wow, Honore, it's not going to waste. What happened?

[C]

A little bit if it's just sitting in a corner.

[D]

We'll see.

[C]

We'll see. So what is the question? I mean, what can I help you with today?

[F]

Oh, my question is what do you think I can do with my wedding dress? I would love to have a reason to wear it or Showcase it or. I don't know. I just. I'm tired of staring at it and having it daunting me and reminding me that I've disappointed not only my mother, but also God.

[C]

God.

[D]

Well, I think God's okay with it. Go ahead, Shabada.

[B]

Are you yourself religious? On aura?

[F]

Yeah, I believe in God. I would say spiritual.

[B]

Spiritual.

[D]

Are you? Oh, go ahead.

[B]

Well, I was gonna say what you should do is if your mom is disappointed and you're not disappointed, because that's crazy. You weren't gonna meet the love of your life in three months after getting a mini job. Once again, my lawyer is not present. I won't be answering questions.

[D]

You're quite tiny for God if you're God, by the way.

[B]

Who's to say, you know? But wouldn't it be great if you got her to, like, set you up with a bunch of people and then you showed up to each date in that wedding dress? Like, wouldn't that be so fun? You could do a lot of shenanigans.

[F]

She's very religious, and everyone she knows is very religious and not up my alley.

[D]

Okay, okay. So that's not an option. But. But do you feel like you have to preserve the wedding dress? Like, are. Are you okay if we pitch, you know, going out, just hanging out in it, Is that an option? Or are you trying to find something you can do with it that's not as sociable?

[F]

I honestly, I. I don't really have any pushback on anything. I'm happy to hear any pitches, and I don't feel like I need to preserve it. It's been preserved for the last five years and it's done nothing.

[C]

I've got an idea.

[D]

I did, too. Go ahead, Jake.

[C]

What if we. You're in Denver, you said.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

What if we found eligible bachelors in Denver who wanted to get in tuxedos and do a photo shoot with you? And we took wedding photos with a bunch of different bachelors and we voted on who makes the best looking couple together. As a. And we don't play them this, but as a long way to do a weird parent trap to see you take. You got to be single, but you guys take a wedding photo, everybody goes, you look cute together. And maybe this was a weird way that God was right. It wasn't three months. It was five years and a few months in a podcast.

[D]

I actually, I like a lot of that. I kind of had something before that maybe pairs with that nicely. I like that on its own.

[C]

What do you got?

[D]

Well, there Is a unique opportunity to. If you have a wedding dress like Pete, you're people recognize you're in the middle of something big. If. What Jake. If we did what Jake said and let's say we pair you up with someone else in a tuxedo. Who's down for this? You could probably go out and have a very cheap slash free experience in Denver or adjacent areas by people thinking that you and someone else. Everyone wants to buy you a drink, everyone wants to give you things. You might be able to go out there and montage it up pretty big. If we set you up with someone in a tuxedo and it's like you guys just got married and are out having an experience, you know, I want a fake wedding.

[C]

Yeah. What do you. What do you think?

[B]

None of these options work. If you're normal.

[D]

An alt title for the show. To be honest with us, that is.

[C]

An old title for everything. That's merch. None of these ideas work if you're normal. We're here to help.

[B]

So I guess the question is, are you normal or would you do any of those things?

[F]

I, you know, I think I have a wedding dress and have been single for five years, never engaged. I'm a little weird.

[C]

Do you know what I'm thinking you could also do? Throw the wedding dress on, do the makeup, do the raccoon eyes with your mascara and go into places like you just got stood up. Because I'll tell you what's going to happen is somebody's going to go, you what? And you're going to go, I got stood up on my wedding night. And they're going to go, let me buy you dinner. And one of these guys is going to be goddamn Prince Charming.

[B]

That's not true.

[D]

The first part might be though.

[B]

Nobody, by the way, sorry, PSA to all people. If anybody tries to hook up with you while you're wearing a wedding dress, that person is not a life partner.

[D]

I mean, there's, there's rebounds and then there's the Dennis Rodman rebound, which you're talking about. How are you?

[C]

That's true. My I buy you hook up with you while you're wearing a wedding Dr.

[D]

Dress. I heard you had a bad day, life partner. I heard you had a bad day.

[C]

Let me ask you a question. What are you looking for? Just to how to get rid of the dress. Are we giving up on God being right and finding you a partner? Because we could figure out what something fun to do with the dress. But what is the want behind the want on this question, you know, I.

[F]

I think I'm just. I want to change my point of view on it. I want it to be something that, you know, brings me joy every time I see it instead of daunts me.

[C]

That sounds fun. Okay, so we can stop the parent trap idea. We're not looking for a husband. We are looking to change the point of view of the wedding dress and turn it from this was a sad thing and into this is a really fun thing.

[B]

Do you wear fancy dress often?

[F]

No, never.

[B]

So we can't die.

[C]

I got an idea.

[D]

Go ahead.

[C]

We throw it in the Denver area women of divorce wedding gown party night. You guys go on a bar crawl in your wedding dresses. But you all. The only rule is, is the wedding did not work.

[D]

I as a guy, like it. That's my take. Shabana. What do you think?

[B]

I like it very much. I've heard of these parties where you wear like the outfit that you have, but you've never had the opportunity to wear. Have you heard of those parties? Right?

[D]

No, honestly. But I like it well, you know.

[B]

Like the fanciest dress, the thing you have in your wardrobe that you love, but you're never gonna wear out. And I think you could throw one of these parties with your friends and rock up in a wedding dress. And that's kind of like you would win a prize.

[C]

You would win a prize.

[D]

You know, the dress is honestly, it. It is a tough gift. I mean, that. That's a lot of goddamn pressure. Which is why I think what we're pitching is basically just take the power back and just go find a totally kind of ridiculous, who cares reason over it. So I would say you should. Honestly, I would just find a way to go out and wear it in a way where it's low stakes, just kind of silly and fun. I like Jake's pitch of get. If you want to just. We could like, he said we could float it out there. If there are people in the Denver area or a driveway who want to join up to go out and wear the wedding. Their wedding day dresses that now kind of do hang in this weird sort of limbo of nice. So I don't want to get rid of it. But also, what the. Not like my favorite memory or something like that. Why don't we pitch you guys go out there as like a not, you know, low stakes wedding dress day. Or like we're saying we could set up a photo shoot for you or something like that, or you and a fake groom. We find you can go out and have A free sort of montage day. Or you can look like you got left at the altar and also go see what happens. You know, any number of those Shabana.

[B]

And then after that get rid of the dress.

[D]

There is also that.

[B]

I mean this is not your wedding dress.

[D]

Honestly. There's also that you could try. I think that's kind of true too. So why don't we go have one blowout day with it where you can go do one of the options we pitched and then after that why not try to fucking sell it or go to some bridal store and try to see if they want it. Is that how any of this works, Natalie? Shabbana?

[B]

Or if you have a rage room near you. If you have a rage room near you, you can take the dress to the rage room and destroy it. Unless it's very expensive.

[D]

It's 3K, right?

[B]

That's very expensive.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

It was $3,000. I don't think I want to destroy it.

[D]

I would try to find a way to get something out of it and then I would try to find a way to get some money from it.

[B]

Yes. But in all of this know that your worth is not tied to you using the dress.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And your, your life doesn't happen in your mum and God's timelines and you're doing great.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And your next relations not going to, you're not going to have the dress looming in the back of your mind when you date this next person that you date.

[D]

Yeah. It's also, it's a really weird thing. It's like an archaic idea of, you know, like we got this important dress and all. It's just a lot of pressure. So out of all the things we pitched onra, what do you think you're going to do?

[F]

I think I want to have a fake wedding. I want to get to wear the dress and have people buy me dress and I want a fake wedding.

[D]

Okay, well we're not giving you a fake wedding. We're offering you a low rent groom. That's what we're offering. Fake wedding. The show will not be paying for. We can find you. Now do you want the show to try to help you find a low rank groom or do you just want to talk to someone you know and be like, hey Darren, put on that fucking tuxedo, we're going to go have free shrimp.

[B]

I know.

[F]

No man, I would love for you to put it on the show.

[D]

Natalie, how do we feel about that?

[F]

I feel great about it. I think Jake would be very happy.

[D]

We're going with fake wedding.

[F]

Internet died and he left.

[D]

But he did leave. So here's what we're going to do. We are now putting the bat signal out there. We are asking Denver area gentlemen who have a tuxedo and also have no shame to reach out. And you're going to go out and you and Honora are going to go get some stuff for free. There's also the option if we get a bunch of them, we could could portion a day out into like three different tuxedo people if you wanted. See if maybe there's some weird sparks there. I don't know. Where are you at, Shabana? How do you feel about that?

[B]

I am obsessed with you, Honora. And I think we all are. This is so fun. And also, if you've got more men, if you've got three men with tuxedos, why not? They fight over you, you know, like the best fake groom wins.

[D]

They could. We. Who knows how weird this all gets? But we'll, we'll start here. Here, people. Men of Denver with tuxedos who are looking to go scam the system with Honora. You know, email the show helpfulpod gmail.com and let's just start there.

[B]

Fuck yeah.

[F]

Awesome. Thank you, guys.

[D]

All right, Anra, thank you, thank you. We will be in touch.

[F]

Sounds good.

[D]

All right, thank you, Anra. And thank you, Shabana. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for helping.

[B]

This was a gift.

[D]

What a delightful. Changed a lot of lives today.

[B]

That's. That's right.

[D]

Without question. We've saved one relationship and moved, moved on from the trauma of a non existent one.

[B]

And we're doing a lot. We did some science. We're doing some social experiments.

[D]

Science. Eric yelled a tremendous amount. Jake left, who joined us for a unique situation. But thank you, Shaban and everyone should go watch the pit.

[B]

Everyone. Thank you so much. Everyone should go watch the pit. It's lovely to meet you guys.

[D]

You too.

[F]

I'm a little bit behind on episodes, but I'm listening to the Cal Pen episode and I just have to chime in about Jake and Garrett's confusion about Sarah's response to whether or not she had noticed Connor's hands in regards to the tiny little boy tie. And I get it. As a woman, there's something about a man's hands, you know, so that's not a completely out of line response. Sarah, I'm with you. I get it.

[C]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show. Please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] heretohelpod to see our entire catalog.

[D]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis associate producer Jesse Thurston Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller theme song by Oliver Raleigh the COVID artwork is by James Fosdike animations by Andrew Strlen Lecky and if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[B]

That was a Headgum Podcast. All video episodes of season one are available now on Patreon, and season two video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th. Go to patreon.com heretohelpop hi, I'm Drew Offualo. And I'm Dason Afualo, and we host the Headgum Podcast Two Idiot Girls. Each episode we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at a sleepover with your weird cousins. We talk about all kinds of things, like weird dating, horror stories, maybe a.

[D]

Really bad wedgie you had once, or.

[B]

Even a show you're loving and anything in between. So you can listen to Two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.