258: WEIRD Here to Help: Velour Jet Suit & The Special K's

Summary

Podcast Summary: We're Here to Help – Episode 258: WEIRD Here To Help: Velour Jet Suit & The Special K's

Host: Headgum
Date: February 6, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode features a lively blend of comic banter, heartfelt advice, and quirky listener dilemmas. Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein host a special “Weird Here to Help” edition, fielding calls from listeners on everything from creating a lucky Jets tracksuit, to workplace nickname snafus, to embracing a possible family “witch” legacy. The show maintains its signature blend of playful sarcasm, goofy asides, and genuine attempts to help, offering advice as wise as it is weird.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Opening Banter – Hotel Bath and Door Outrage

Timestamps: 02:00–09:37

• Steve and Eric riff about the disturbing hotel trend of removing bathroom doors and bathtubs for cost-saving and “energy efficiency.”
• Eric laments, “First, they came for my bathtub, and I'm devastated, because I like an Epsom salt bath.” (04:17)
• The duo swap stories about hotel mishaps, tipping etiquette, and accidentally alarming housekeeping (e.g., Eric’s magnesium powder mistaken for “the biggest pile of cocaine”).
• Steve debates getting a skateboard to prove he can still pull off a K-footed Ollie, to the horror of his wife and Eric.
  • “Susie, if you’re listening: No. The answer is no. Do not let this giant man get a skateboard.” – Eric (09:00)

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2. Caller #1: Michael – Making a New York Jets 'Lucky' Tracksuit

Timestamps: 13:42–27:15

Background:

Michael from Connecticut wants to use a velour tracksuit to channel good luck for the long-suffering New York Jets. He seeks advice on how to make the garment “lucky.”

Advice and Bits:

• Steve and Eric help Michael select a quality velour suit (preferably Puma or Sergio Tacchini – avoid the Amazon knock-offs).
  • “What you have sent me are the incredible brands you want. You know, I want Puma, you want Sergio Tacchini… Fila makes a great one…” – Eric (17:58)
• For maximum luck:
  • Attach a relic from a beloved family member, ideally another Jets fan.
  • Waft sage and Palo Santo smoke over the suit for “ancestor magic.”
  • Read passages from Joe Namath’s autobiography to the suit, infusing it with Jets legacy.
  • Set the suit in front of the TV to watch Flash Gordon (the hero is a fictional New York Jets quarterback) and vintage NFL highlight reels with John Facenda’s voice.
  • Don’t fear stains—each one tells a story: “Sometimes I like stains because I like to remember delicious meals. The stains tell the story.” – Steve (23:04)
  • Initiate (“baptize”) the suit at a likely Jets win or at the next draft.
  • Consider pairing the tracksuit with a bomber jacket for full “jet pilot” vibes.
• Visualize the Jets winning while in the suit:
  • “Our collective subconscious is an amazing thing. Start visualizing those Jets winning in that jumpsuit.” – Eric (26:40)
  • Eric votes for Sergio Tacchini: “You can wear that to formal events, you can dress it up, dress it down… That thing’s gonna play anywhere you go, you know, big time.” – Steve (27:00)
• Michael promises to document the ritual and report back.

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3. Caller #2: Katie – The Workplace “Special Ks”

Timestamps: 31:40–51:40

Background:

Katie from Minnesota’s Twin Cities works on a team overflowing with Kates, Katies, and Kats, leading to the (unfortunate) nickname “the KKK.” She seeks a better group moniker and fun individual nicknames to avoid the problematic abbreviation.

Advice and Rebranding:

• Immediate agreement that the current nickname is unacceptable.
  • “Not today. We’re going to fight back.” – Eric (34:16)
• Suggestions:
  1. Special K (after the cereal and beloved local treat).
     • Katie explains, “It’s like… Special K cereal, caramelized, with a layer of chocolate over it… That’s a Special K bar.” (41:14)
  2. The Special Ks / Special K’s – fun, positive, and unique to Minnesota, with local affection.
  3. Individual nicknames:
     • Boss: “Stacks” (for her authority)
     • Production Assistant: “K-Swiss” (Swiss Army knife pun)
     • Katie herself: “Cat Attack” (a nickname she’s thrilled to inherit from another, reflecting leadership and versatility)
• The team should roll out nicknames organically and get higher-ups (notably “Steve,” the boss) on board to make them stick.
  • “Just be like, 'We loved so much the idea of Katie 1, 2, and 3. But logistically and synergistically, we thought this might be a little better.'” – Eric (49:45)
• Eric and Steve offer to perform at the next work retreat in Minneapolis (only half joking).

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4. Caller #3: Sabrina (Follow-Up) – Family Witch Lineage

Timestamps: 52:17–63:37

Background:

Sabrina previously called seeking advice on whether to “embrace her family’s witch legacy” after her mom claimed they descend from a line of witches.

Update & Reflections:

• Sabrina connected with her 90-year-old aunt (who doesn’t use the term “witch,” but upholds that the family is “special”), learning family stories of uncanny intuition and heroism (like a great-grandmother rescuing her husband from a buggy accident).
• The terminology “witch” is more about spiritual connection and family lore; no pressure to decide now.
  • “Enchanting your life… infusing a little bit of magic in your life is wonderful.” – Steve (58:02)
• Sabrina did a tarot reading with her mom and felt the process brought them much closer.
  • “If nothing else, it’s definitely brought me and my mom closer…” – Sabrina (58:00)
• Steve and Eric invite Sabrina (and maybe her aunt or mom) to do a live tarot reading on their Patreon.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Eat your heart out, Tony Hawk. I’m coming for you, baby.” – Steve (09:42)
• “What you have sent me are the incredible brands… You want Puma, you want Sergio Tacchini…” – Eric (17:58)
• “Sometimes I like stains because I like to remember delicious meals. The stains tell the story.” – Steve (23:04)
• “There’s three K’s. No good comes from that, friend.” – Eric (34:22)
• “You’re not a number. You’re so much more than a number, friend.” – Eric (42:36)
• “My blood is half giardiniera.” – Steve (63:03)
• “Enchanting your life, like making your… infusing a little magic in your life is wonderful.” – Steve (58:02)

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Structural Flow

• Opening bit: Hotel rants and comic stories.
• First call: Comedic deep-dive into sports superstition and “charging up” a Jets tracksuit.
• Second call: Workplace group identity and nickname brainstorming, with a local Minnesota flavor.
• Follow-up call: Heartfelt update on family connection, embracing tradition, and the magic of personal history.
• Throughout: Banter is peppered with inside jokes, gentle ribbing, and regional references.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Hotel room/bathroom door rant: 02:00–09:37
• Making a Jets lucky tracksuit: 13:42–27:15
• Special K’s and workplace nicknames: 31:40–51:40
• Family witch legacy update: 52:17–63:37

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Conclusion

This episode is quintessential “We’re Here to Help”: chaotic, compassionate, and delightfully weird. Steve and Eric embrace each problem with the same irreverent energy, offering as much laughter as they do earnest solutions. Whether invoking ancestor magic for a football team, rebranding workplace groups to escape problematic nicknames, or encouraging listeners to lean into family “magic,” the hosts keep the tone supportive and playful. And yes, they’re always up for a follow-up—especially if Special K bars or live tarot readings are involved.

Transcript

[Steve Berg]

Well, good afternoon. This is your little friend, Stephen Berg, and this is a message going out to all you fantastically brilliant vasectomy doctors. I have a little proposal for you all. My wonderful friend and brother, Gareth Reynolds is looking to get a vasectomy done because he is making the choice to not bring children into this world. And you know what? I respect that opinion. Nobody wants a bunch of little garrets running around. Boy, try saying. Try pluralizing Gareth with a lisp. That's not easy. Nobody wants a bunch of little Garrett's running around when Gareth himself doesn't want that. So, doctors out there, what we are looking for, what we are wanting, if possible, is for you to give our friend Gareth a vasectomy. Now. We'll pay for it. He's got cobra. He's got great insurance. That's not the issue. Here comes the little angle we're taking. We would like to document this on a little thing called videotape. This is a plea. This is a call to all vasectomy doctors in the lower 48 in the United States. Please, oh, please, let our little friend, Gareth Reynolds get a vasectomy and let us videotape it. We're talking to Hi8. You know, like a gritty. You know, it'll look good, it'll be classy, it'll be artsy. You will come off looking like an absolute hero. That's a Burgundy. Thank you. Enjoy this message and enjoy this episode. Bye. Bye.

[Katie]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[Eric Edelstein]

Ladies and gentlemen. That's right, it's time again from Omaha, Nebraska, and Colossal Park, Los Angeles. It's weird. Here to help with Steve Bird and co host Eric Edelstein. Steve, we're gonna help some more people today. How you doing?

[Steve Berg]

Oh, Eric, I am just so great. It's Friday. I got the Friday vibes going. You know, I'm feeling very good. Footloose and fancy free. Ready for wild fun, mysterious weekend. It's cold. I'm in the tundra here.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, just stay in. Make yourself some cocoa, big daddy.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, there is going to be a lot of. I'm going to be making a lot of things. And you know what? Cocoa is a good idea. Treat. I should treat myself.

[Eric Edelstein]

I love it. I make my own pecan milk. Steve, we talked about on the Patreon yesterday, but this is worthy, I think, of Maine. We talked that there's some changes in how they're setting up hotel rooms. Yeah. And they're about to do a massive remodel. And because they figured out they lose a lot of power and money, apparently, with a bathroom door. So the new hotels, they're going to eliminate the bathroom door, and we are taking a stand against any hotel that's doing that.

[Steve Berg]

Well, before. Before I fall on my sword for the bathroom door in hotels across America. I like. Look, your concern is valid because. Look, I want a bathroom door, you know, all the time. You're sharing a hotel room. Sorry, we can't always have our own hotel room, people. We're not all.

[Eric Edelstein]

Your wife needs a bathroom door. My wife needs a bathroom door.

[Steve Berg]

They do want the separation stuff I do in there.

[Eric Edelstein]

Steve. Nobody needs to hear it. Nobody needs to be a part of it. Nobody needs that sensory overload.

[Sabrina]

No.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, no. In fact, you just describing it might have been too much sensory overload for me.

[Eric Edelstein]

It is, and I apologize. That's why we need you on this with us. We're reaching out to Marriott, jj. We're reaching out to. I'm a Hyatt Points member. I'm canceling my Hilton credit card.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, that's big.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, it is. It is. I believe that Hilton franchisees have a right to rent to whoever they want. Stephen.

[Steve Berg]

Eric, I asked you a question about that. So, like, please. Here. Here's Eric's theory, basically, is that he thinks hotels are trying to save money by taking out the bathroom doors for an airflow heating, cooling situation.

[Eric Edelstein]

This is. This is a fact. First, they came from my bathtub. And I'm devastated. And I'm devastated because I. Like an Epsom salt bath.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

I check into a hotel, I get Epsom salts, and I pack some eucalyptus.

[Sabrina]

Steve.

[Eric Edelstein]

I pack some essential oils. Hold on.

[Steve Berg]

Where are you staying? Look here. And it is a serious question. You and I, are we equal 13ft together, right?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yes.

[Steve Berg]

That's just good science.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

That's math.

[Eric Edelstein]

It is.

[Steve Berg]

I have found. And look, I'm not. I'm not. I don't take a lot of baths in hotels simply for the fact that they appear way too small. And I feel like I get stuck and I wouldn't be able to get out. And I'd have to have some, like, poor bellboy or bell and come to the room and, like, I'm like, excuse me, ma', am, Miss. Help me, sir. Like, I'm stuck in the bathtub because.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'm a real thing and I'm having to do yoga positions to get out. Like, I was just in the tiniest bathtub, but I just wanted to soak grandpa's legs. I've been walking in the snow.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

I've Been running, literally running. And so I got epsom salts, put it in there, and then I had to basically turn over, do like a downward dog pose, and then pull myself up using my Pilates upper body strength. I do have now to get out of this tub, but it sucked. That there's a grace in an art to a great hotel bath. The Male hotel in Tulsa has one of the great baths in the world. I do worry sometimes about being stuck in a bathtub, but they figured out it just makes more sense for them financially to eliminate the bathtub. So most places you go, Chaco Hotel in Albuquerque, they have no bathtub bathtubs. It's a giant bummer. Now they've done the math and they want to save money with energy and heating because I'm sure you get a lot of people like me. The second I get in there, I'm setting that AC to 60 degrees.

[Steve Berg]

Me too. I think I. I one time like froze. Was in a cheap hotel and froze over. I turned up so high that it was like one of those, like wall units. Not like, you know, not that you. The big, like white machine that's like attached to the wall in the window. I turned down so low that it started, like, leaking Freon. And I, like, had to move rooms. It was a whole ordeal.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's on them. That's not. You should be able to have a 60 degree hotel room without a problem. That's on them. And they're freon. You have a lawsuit.

[Steve Berg]

I'm like Letterman. I like the room cold, babe.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, I do too. I do too, man. We need it. We're big guys.

[Steve Berg]

Well, especially I'm eating a lot of spicy food in a hotel room.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, of course. Oh, man, I had to do different. Well, this is the other thing is now again, they use the environment as an excuse or Covid.

[Steve Berg]

I was going to ask.

[Eric Edelstein]

They won't do your sheets unless you ask. Which meant twice during my trip, I had to call down to the front desk because I'd spilled dim sum sauce on my sheets.

[Steve Berg]

Now, specifically, what kind of humbling call.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's not a call I should have to make in a. In a nice hotel, Eric. I would please clean my sheets. There's hoisting all over my.

[Steve Berg]

Thank you. All I wanted was some specificity on what sauce was. I mean, you can't.

[Eric Edelstein]

There's hoisin, There was chili oil. Then I'm. I'm working on people pleasing, but I used towels as napkins. Then they were covered in chili oil, and I spent probably half an hour trying to get the chili oil out of the towels. And I'm like, why am I spending a half hour of my life? Well, I didn't want the judgment from the maid. No. I care deeply about what a maid thinks.

[Steve Berg]

I tip well.

[Eric Edelstein]

You have to tip well because we're not doing anything good to that room. Did I ever tell you when two maids try to have an intervention on me?

[Steve Berg]

What?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Steve, this was amazing. So I went back to the hotel, and there were two. Two maids kind of waiting for me, right? And one of them looked like she was about to cry.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, God.

[Eric Edelstein]

And they said that they're praying. They're saying that they're going to pray for me. And they wanted me to get help. And I. I was so confused. And I'm like, is this. Is this a language thing? I'm. What?

[Steve Berg]

What?

[Eric Edelstein]

I don't know what happened at that point. I hadn't drinking, like, seven or eight years. Then I went in the hotel room. Now when I sleep at night, I have to take magnesium.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

So I had that calm. Magnesium powder.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. Oh, boy.

[Eric Edelstein]

And there was a pile of it.

[Steve Berg]

It looked like a pile of yak.

[Eric Edelstein]

It looked like Belushi's final day. It looked like the biggest pile of cocaine you've ever seen in your life. And I already bonded with them. You know me, I. I bonded with him. I talked with them.

[Steve Berg]

Absolutely.

[Eric Edelstein]

We're having a good old time. Anytime somebody cleans your hotel room, especially if there's dim sum sauce in the bed, that's five bucks.

[Steve Berg]

I'm in the middle of trying to convince my wife to let me get a skateboard because I want to prove to my friend that given six months, I can do a K foot by Ollie. So I'll let you know how that goes. Maybe on the next intro we can readdress that and I'll.

[Eric Edelstein]

Susie, if you're listening. No. The answer is.

[Steve Berg]

She's like, I don't want to take care of you.

[Eric Edelstein]

I now have a financial partnership with your husband. Susie. The only way to fuck this up is to give this giant man very close to 50 a skateboard. My financial system is tied in with Steven. Do not let him get on a skateboard. We all know how this movie ends. Yeah. Do not be a parody of yourself.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

I can't do an episode of this. There's no replacing you.

[Steve Berg]

Stop it.

[Eric Edelstein]

I can't do it. If you're in a coma, you have head damage. No. No skateboard.

[Steve Berg]

It could be interesting, though.

[Eric Edelstein]

No. I vote no.

[Steve Berg]

I'm voting no.

[Eric Edelstein]

We're going to put this to Jake and Gareth. The skateboard is officially now on hold up for a vote.

[Steve Berg]

They absolutely not like the skateboard idea either. Yeah, okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

Of course not. Steve.

[Steve Berg]

Eat your heart out, Tony Hawk. I'm coming for you, baby. Enjoy this episode. Folks.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Eric Edelstein]

And.

[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Eric Edelstein]

Hello. Hello, friend. You are in the other realm with weird. Here to help with Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein. Caller, what is the name you're going with and what is the location you're going with?

[Michael]

Oh, my name is Michael. I'm from Connecticut.

[Eric Edelstein]

Michael, Connecticut. Love it, love it.

[Steve Berg]

Famous for that pizza. Everyone's saying Connecticut's got the best pizza. Is that true, Michael?

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, yeah.

[Michael]

I just got some from Clays.

[Steve Berg]

Now you're coming. You got. Y' all are coming from like kind of a crispy thin, like a little bit char on the bottom if, if memory serves. Is that right?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael]

If you're going down to New Haven, that's, that's the name of the game.

[Eric Edelstein]

Streets in the town of New Haven.

[Steve Berg]

Down on the streets in the town of New Haven. Well, that wasn't bad on my part, actually.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, that's a pretty Good. Your mojo's rising on Sunday.

[Steve Berg]

I hit that.

[Eric Edelstein]

Wow. Okay, friends, speaking of mojo, Jim Morrison. You're on a desert island. You can only bring one book, one album, one movie. What's it going to be?

[Michael]

Ooh. One of each.

[Eric Edelstein]

One of each.

[Steve Berg]

And no thinking about Michael. It's just rapid fire. Top of your head.

[Eric Edelstein]

We want to know who you are by what you consume.

[Michael]

I'd say at least one of the Harry Potter books.

[Steve Berg]

Okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

Beautiful.

[Michael]

From for a album. Oh, God.

[Steve Berg]

Don't even need to think about it. Go with your gut.

[Michael]

One of the Led Zeppelin ones.

[Steve Berg]

Okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

Hell yeah. Hell, yeah. I just saw Robert Plant, by the way. He was incredible.

[Michael]

Oh, that's so cool.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, he still got it. Still hit those notes.

[Michael]

For a movie, I'd do the Hangover.

[Steve Berg]

Okay, awesome. Okay, awesome.

[Eric Edelstein]

What food are you gonna bring? You can only have one meal this whole time. Is it going to be Connecticut Tavern style? Pizza?

[Michael]

Pasta?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. There you go.

[Steve Berg]

You are a man after my own heart.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, yeah. Well, you already, friend.

[Steve Berg]

You don't get to bring all the sauce if you want. I mean, yeah, you can.

[Eric Edelstein]

You can find stuff on the island and cook because I'm in charge.

[Steve Berg]

This. This island is.

[Eric Edelstein]

There's garlic, there's cream sauce, there's cashew cream, pecan cream.

[Steve Berg]

Why would you not just want to be at the. That doesn't make any kind of sense.

[Eric Edelstein]

But it makes every bit of sense. You can, like, you know, hang out. We'll talk off the air about this.

[Steve Berg]

We'll talk off the air.

[Eric Edelstein]

And use that pasta water. Use that pasta water to make the beginnings of your sauce.

[Steve Berg]

I'll tell you what they call that. The Tears of God in Italy.

[Eric Edelstein]

It is. It completely is. It changes everything. It's a binder, Steve.

[Steve Berg]

It emulsifies things. We all know that. It's wonderful. I made a result last night.

[Eric Edelstein]

Come on, Michael. We have a sense of you now, and we already really like you. I mean, I just saw Robert Plant three weeks ago. You mentioned Led Zeppelin. Everyone go see Robert Plant on his tour. He's playing for the Turnstiles by Neil Young. Michael, what's going on? How can we help you today?

[Michael]

I am a. I'm a New York jets fan.

[Steve Berg]

Okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

Sorry.

[Michael]

Which is a. It's a tough thing to be.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's a real tough thing.

[Michael]

I want to do my part to help. And so I thought if I bought myself a velvet tracksuit and wore it when they played.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Then I could make, like, a lucky tracksuit and it would, like, combat some of the Universal bad juju they got going on.

[Steve Berg]

Yes.

[Michael]

And it would keep my sanity.

[Steve Berg]

I think this is a great idea. How can we help you in terms of. Are you looking for us to, like, help you? Say yes and feel good about this tracksuit? Talk to me.

[Michael]

No, I. I need your guys's help with. I sent a couple photos in of tracksuits, but I'm more interested in how do I make the tracksuit lucky.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, God. Did you.

[Steve Berg]

Boy, did you come to the right place, brother.

[Eric Edelstein]

We can embody that well, I mean, first, once you get the. Okay, do we have pictures of the tracksuit? I'd like. Ye. I've got some options. You. You get a good one first off.

[Steve Berg]

Yep, yep.

[Jake Johnson]

All right.

[Eric Edelstein]

Get a good one. Go for quality.

[Steve Berg]

Let's get a gander. Oh, hello.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay, this is it, Michael. You're a man of quality. We got options. We got options. That is the right. Right there, dude. In the velour.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, I think the velour. I'm going the velour.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, the puma, Michael. What I like. So I recently got a tracksuit and I just got the Amazon velour one and it was horrible. It was full of microfibers. I think I probably took about six months off my life whenever I was inhaling. What you have sent me are the incredible brands you want. You know, I want Puma, you want Sergio Takini. You might even want to dip a toe in the. The Fila waters. Fila makes a great one that Mr. Taylor. That's a little.

[Steve Berg]

So Mr. Taylor. I'm out on Mr. Taylor.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'm out ON Mr. Taylor.

[Steve Berg]

Unless you like that green. Doesn't even see. Now that looks that.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's a great look.

[Steve Berg]

That's.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's a great look.

[Steve Berg]

Jet colors. Okay, so here's look.

[Eric Edelstein]

But look at the Sergio Takini.

[Steve Berg]

I mean, it's really nice.

[Eric Edelstein]

And that's such a classic one.

[Steve Berg]

However, I think we got to move away from the pictures because the listeners just can't see what we're. What's happening?

[Eric Edelstein]

No, they want to see Steve.

[Steve Berg]

Bur. So here's here. Well, they can't see anything because most of them are listening Patreon.

[Eric Edelstein]

Tons of them are on that Patreon. Five bucks a month.

[Steve Berg]

It doesn't matter. People are listening. The majority are lifting in their cars on the way to work right now. They can't see it. But folks. Okay, so, Michael, I think you got some decisions to make. That's a personal choice. However, how can Eric and I help you make it Lucky Pal. I think he came to the right man. First off, I am going to recommend. Do you have a relative, like an uncle or a cousin or a grandpa or a grandma who you felt close to, who you have any relics from? Yes. Okay.

[Michael]

I mean, I. I could. I could dig something up. Not, like, physically, like, literally, but, yeah, I.

[Steve Berg]

If you have, like, an old brooch from, like, Grandma Nancy or, like, you know, Uncle Chuck's, like, you know, like, saxophone read, I would get that in the pocket, fasten it to that thing. Using that ancestor magic is really gonna make that thing sing. It's gonna make. It's gonna make that trust very powerful.

[Eric Edelstein]

Preferably if that person was also a Jets fan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Steve Berg]

That would. That would be nice, too.

[Eric Edelstein]

I will burn some sage.

[Steve Berg]

Yep.

[Eric Edelstein]

I will. Santo Palo Santo.

[Steve Berg]

Absolutely.

[Eric Edelstein]

Let it waft all over that jumpsuit and say, wash on it.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, yeah, don't have it.

[Michael]

Queen State.

[Eric Edelstein]

And then I would say, while you're doing that, read a sacred text which in. This is clearly going to be Joe Namath's autobiography. Eric, you need to put on the Joe Namath episode of the Brady Bunch and read from Joe Namath's autobiography. He has some incredible passages about the passion of Matt Snell and that team. And, like, you need to embody that jumpsuit with the passion of the jets when they were winning.

[Steve Berg]

Eric, I think that's a brilliant idea. I think reading Joe Namath passages, go through the book, pull out some really nice passages. However, along with that, I would sit down, take your tracksuit, put it in the most comfortable chair in front of the tv, and have it watch Flash Gordon. The original Flash Gordon, or the 1980s one where Queen did the soundtrack. Because Flash Gordon, folks, he is obviously a fictional character. However, he was the quarterback of the New York Jets.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, that's it.

[Steve Berg]

And that's. That's gonna. That's gonna. And. And Michael, you already said you were reading like a. You know, you like Led Zeppelin, you like Harry Potter. Those are fantastical movies in the. You know, Led Zeppelin, they practice the dark arts. So, like, using infusing a little bit of magic via Flash Gordon, I think would really kind of put you, the jets, like, in a great place for next season.

[Eric Edelstein]

And the other thing that I love putting on, you know, after Jess goes to bed. Vintage NFL films with the voice of God, John Fenza. Yeah, he is the greatest. Those vintage NFL films things are art. I download the soundtracks because it's some of the most brilliant instrumental stuff. It's right up there with Angelo Badalamente. In terms of very good phonic scores. So like you're embodying this jetsu with a winning culture. Yeah, a winning culture with a winning culture. And I just am to say this when the jets start to turn it around and I do think it's going to happen soon. We know. And everyone listening knows it's because of you in this jumpsuit.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to be seen as a hero.

[Eric Edelstein]

Throw on Top Gun. Throw on the volleyball scene in Top Gun. Those are jet fighter pilots. That's what you want. You want playing with the boys. Kenny Loggins energy in that jets. In that jet suit.

[Steve Berg]

I think that's a good.

[Eric Edelstein]

And we're calling it a jet suit. Also get a bomber jacket like they had real cool with the army surplus. They have like fighter pilot bomber jackets. You can put that on as well. And I mean those. That's just a great look. Anyway, it's. It's cut short, so I try to get a longer.

[Steve Berg]

Eric's always trying to help the military industrial complex.

[Eric Edelstein]

Never. No, I am not. Do you have any rituals already around watching games?

[Michael]

No. Most of the time it's just trying to like, sit down somewhere quiet away from everybody.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, I get that you're a real fan.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. I don't know. You know, like, I also think like, you know, people are like, oh my God, I stained my favorite shirt. Sometimes I like stains because I like to remember delicious meals. You know, like, I mean, the stains are just. They tell the story. They're just like historical relics. So if you want to, like, you know, maybe. Maybe get some like buffalo sauce on that. Don't be afraid to have a little cheese and I would never wash this thing. I would like. If you do, it's. It's obviously dry clean only I would not, you know, hand wash that thing.

[Eric Edelstein]

And I'd say wear it to a game that you think the jets will initiate it. Try to put in where, you know, where it's not too cold or you can wear a parka over it. But like, look at that schedule. Like, we're winning this game. I'm baptizing this jumpsuit with a win.

[Michael]

That's a great idea.

[Eric Edelstein]

Do I. When I'm.

[Michael]

When I'm having it. Watch Flash Gordon and.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Michael]

Jets greatest moments.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Michael]

I feel like I should be wearing it during that. And so.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes more sense. The voice of God John Vincenzo will embody that.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Name with hands off to.

[Steve Berg]

That's exactly right.

[Eric Edelstein]

The Reaper Defense Congress. The jets fly high again. You're getting all that energy.

[Steve Berg]

You are. That is seeping into the deep fibers down to the atomic level. I mean, you're. Basically, what we're doing is we're working with quantum physics here. Yeah, we're going down to subatomic level and we are observing matter do a different thing. So we are infusing. What we're trying to do is decrease randomness. We are. We are performing a little bit of magic. We're trying to get randomness to not be so random and to work in your favor and so imbuing all this tracksuit with all the magic. Eric, you've had some amazing suggestions.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'm trying. It's a power of positivity.

[Steve Berg]

Let the past be the past. We don't need to dwell in the past. We're moving forward. We're starting a new regime change of positivity for the jets. It all starts with you getting this beautiful velour tracksuit. I think you should take some of these suggestions. Show up Flashcord. Show it these old films. Teach, like, let this track suit know that this team is a winner. Starting now.

[Eric Edelstein]

Starting big time. Big time.

[Michael]

I gotta break it.

[Steve Berg]

What do you think about that, Michael?

[Michael]

I gotta break it in.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, buddy. Well, first you gotta get it and, you know, then you gotta get to know it and you're gonna introduce it to the wonderful film flash Gordon. The 80s version. The 1980 version with Queen did the soundtrack. Great movie. But you'll love if you've never seen it. You're gonna be like, oh, my God, I can't believe I'm just seeing this movie now. But your tracksuit is just gonna be charged with magical Flash Gordon power.

[Michael]

Okay, I'm gonna. I'll. How about I. I'll wear it for the week. Like the weekend.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, I'll have.

[Michael]

There you go, Gordon. Going on in the background. Highlights going on for the entire weekend. And then I'll wear it.

[Steve Berg]

Yep.

[Michael]

For the. The draft, maybe.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's what I'm saying. The draft. Maybe you'll get that kid from Indiana. Yeah, that changes everything. And then hit some big picks in the second and third round.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, get offensive line to support them. I mean, you're. You're. You're sitting pretty in that situation. So, Michael, do you think. Is there anything else you think we can help you with? Is there any other kind of suggestions or do you think you're in a good place? And also, I'd say we're going to really need some pictures of you in that New tracksuit, pal.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, yeah.

[Michael]

I gotcha. I'll document the weekend.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. Model some pictures.

[Eric Edelstein]

And I'm hoping, Michael, we get an update from you next year. You're calling in after the jets have won their 10th game. And you and I and Steve know that it's because of this tracksuit. Yeah, yeah. Imagine you turn.

[Steve Berg]

You turned a football team around.

[Eric Edelstein]

You got to visualize. We live inside a dream. Our collective subconscious is an amazing thing. Start visualizing those jets winning in that jumpsuit. And I vote Sergio Takini, because you can wear that for. To formal events. You can dress it up, dress it down.

[Steve Berg]

That's Internet.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's a nice, nice. Yeah, you could you start wearing that on flights. Cancel Christmas. Yeah, it's gonna be awesome.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, you could be a fashion week at the Met gala. You could be in the Pyrenees mountains of France. I mean, like, that thing's gonna play anywhere you go, you know, big time, big time.

[Eric Edelstein]

In Sergio we trust.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. Michael, best of luck to you, pal. We look forward to hearing back to you, man. Go Jets.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Eric Edelstein]

Welcome. You are here on Weird. Here to help with Eric and Steve Berg. What is your name or fake name and where are you calling from? Or a fake place you're calling from?

[Katie]

Hi, I'm Katie and I am calling from Minnesota.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, we were just talking about Minnesota.

[Eric Edelstein]

Love Minnesota. The friendliest place on earth that I found truly the nicest people in the world. Where in Minnesota?

[Katie]

Yes, Twin Cities.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, The Twin Cities. St. Paul and Minneapolis.

[Eric Edelstein]

Love it there so much.

[Steve Berg]

It is great. What a great music scene. The replacements. Who's could do you know? I want to ask you, Katie. Well, yeah, of course, but that's an avenue. Yeah. And Prince. I just got scolded by Eric.

[Eric Edelstein]

Katie, thank you.

[Steve Berg]

Have you ever had a pasty? It's a traditional Scandinavian, like a kind of pocket thing, you know what I'm talking about?

[Katie]

No.

[Eric Edelstein]

No.

[Steve Berg]

Okay, well they're supposed to. Well, shit. All right, thanks for calling. Bye bye. Okay, well maybe you should. Maybe you should try them because they're very famous in Minnesota. They even make a breakfast past you, which I'm very curious about. So Katie, tell us how Eric and I can help you. Friend.

[Katie]

Yeah, so I started a new job in May at a pretty large company here in the Twin Cities.

[Steve Berg]

Okay.

[Katie]

And my boss's name is Kat.

[Steve Berg]

Really quick, what do they have you doing at this company?

[Katie]

I am working for their in house production team. So we create a whole bunch of content for internal and external use and so in the production field but in corporate now.

[Steve Berg]

Okay, great, great, great, great, great. You're creative.

[Sabrina]

Yeah.

[Katie]

So my boss. Yes, yes, my boss's name is Katie. Obviously I'm Katie. And then another person that we work with, her name is Kate.

[Steve Berg]

Oh my gosh.

[Katie]

We have. Or since I started, we've also hired three other forms of Kate. Katie or cats.

[Steve Berg]

Wow.

[Katie]

So Kate and Kat and I work very closely together and when I first started they had already been there. So I was the third kid. So naturally people would call us the.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Katie]

So my question is how can we avoid people calling us that? And what is a new nickname that we could have?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, I think you're right. We don't want to really Lean into the whole, hey, it's the KKK girls that's making a comeback these days. But not in this office. Not in Minnesota.

[Steve Berg]

Not.

[Eric Edelstein]

Not today. Not today. We're going to fight back. So there's three K's.

[Katie]

There's three kids. Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

No good comes from that friend. Yeah, I think you got to hire a fourth or someone's got to get fired.

[Steve Berg]

So are you.

[Eric Edelstein]

Are you.

[Steve Berg]

Are you basically. Are you looking for fun nicknames? Because that would just keep it fun and light, or are you, like, literally looking for a better way to communicate? Because the opening gamut for me would be like, call everyone by their last names. Like, a lot of teachers do that, like, in an elementary school, because they don't want to.

[Katie]

But I feel like last names. Last names are like a dude thing. Like, we have a lot of Ryan's in our department as well, and we just go like last names with it, and that's, like, such a dude thing to do.

[Steve Berg]

Okay, so you don't. Yeah, you want. You want to stay firmly in the female. The female vibe with the name thing.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

I like this one of you three. You draw straws. Someone's got to change the name to Dolores, and there's no looking back. You're just stuck with it.

[Steve Berg]

That actually is the. That's my. That's going to be my favorite version. And I think Dolores is the perfect name. So it's a fun bit where you have to change your. Your work name. That's.

[Eric Edelstein]

You draw straws, and that person gets a free lunch because they're having to change your name. And like a good.

[Steve Berg]

That's tr.

[Eric Edelstein]

Like a nice Minneapolis steakhouse. I do recommend French Meadow.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, but like, creamy spinach for the table.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, cheese sticks.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Sand dabs. Dessert drinks. But. But you are. For the rest of your time, Dolores.

[Steve Berg]

That is such a good option. I love it. However, we have some more time, so let's. Let's come up some more. So your initial. What you were kind of wanting. You sounds like you wanted fun nicknames.

[Sabrina]

Yes.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

Okay, so. So let's. Let's. Let's break this down a little bit. So we're working with three versions of Kate, Katie, Catherine, whatever.

[Katie]

Yeah, let's.

[Steve Berg]

Let's start with one. So for the first candidate, what does she go by? Is it Cat?

[Katie]

Cat, yep.

[Steve Berg]

And that's short for Catherine, I'm guessing.

[Katie]

Catherine with a Y. Catherine with a.

[Steve Berg]

Y. Oh, that's very elegant. She must be. She must be.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay.

[Steve Berg]

But she's my.

[Katie]

She's my boss. So we can't go like crazy. Okay?

[Eric Edelstein]

And we have to respect it. Your boss, but Catherine with a Y, I mean, she's probably drinking tea with her pinky up.

[Steve Berg]

Am I right? Yeah, yeah. Highborn. That's highborn.

[Katie]

Canadian, too. So.

[Eric Edelstein]

Minnesotans are closest to Canadians. And I will say Canadians are more polite. Canadians are on their phone less. That's part of the magic of Minnesota, is it's. It's the Great North.

[Steve Berg]

Katie are like. Usually nicknames come from, like, something someone did. Like, a certain event that was funny. Like, you know, oh, I spilled the tea. No, now you're spilly. Spilly Joe or something like that. That's a terrible example. But is there, like.

[Eric Edelstein]

Is there, like, a. Billy Joe is good. Don't you. Don't you say that about my friend.

[Steve Berg]

It's not bad. So is there. Is there a personality? Is there a personality? Usually they're derived from an event or a personality quirk. So, like, starting with Kate, your boss, we have to tread lightly because it is the bus. But is there. Yeah, true. They're going to have a better sense of humor. Do they have a personality quirk that we could. We could extract from that to give them a nickname?

[Katie]

I mean, she is like. I know people make fun of Minnesotans because we have an accent, or at least that's what they say.

[Steve Berg]

Right?

[Katie]

But her Canadian accent, like, when she says sorry, it's like, sorry.

[Eric Edelstein]

Sorry.

[Katie]

Yes. Like, really, like, really emphasizing the O's compared to Minnesota.

[Steve Berg]

So we could come up with a famous, like, like, Canadian. Like, you call her Trudeau or something like that. That's not a great one.

[Eric Edelstein]

But, like, you know, like, Tina, Sarah, Neil Young, Joni Mitchell.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

There's so many cool Canadians.

[Steve Berg]

So. But like, those are like two. Like, we call her Joanie. Like that. I feel like it's got to be like, you know, who was that legendary, like, mayor who, like, smoked crack?

[Eric Edelstein]

Rob Ford. Was he a kid? He was way ahead of his time.

[Steve Berg]

Rob Ford.

[Eric Edelstein]

Ford would run the world these days. God.

[Steve Berg]

You and I will be auditioning for the. The movie someday.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, I'm ready, Rob. I have plenty to eat at home for videotapes to him smoking crack. But he would be, like, a mainstream politician now. Like, Rob Ford would be like, you know, if we want a moderate voice, let's get the guy smoking crack. That has plenty at home. But I highly recommend. It's a short little Netflix doc, but.

[Steve Berg]

It was wild, I thought, too. It's great.

[Eric Edelstein]

And his brother now is one of the top Canadian politicians No, I believe it. Doug was kind of the one behind the scenes running Rob because he's like, this guy's special.

[Steve Berg]

He's like the Jeb Bush to George.

[Eric Edelstein]

Absolutely. Doug.

[Steve Berg]

The one who should have been in power.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna Rob.

[Steve Berg]

Rob didn't have the charisma of Rob though.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, man, no. You look great in a hockey jersey.

[Steve Berg]

So I mean, you know, nickname should be like usually one word. Easy to say like. So is there something that like just like distills Canada down to a one word form?

[Eric Edelstein]

Can I ask one other question?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you looking for a nickname for.

[Eric Edelstein]

The whole group to replace Here comes the kkk?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you looking for individual nicknames for.

[Eric Edelstein]

The three of you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Know what I mean?

[Katie]

I think one. I think one as a group because that's usually how they refer to us as a group. And you know, the KKK is just kind of, you know, we don't like that.

[Steve Berg]

We don't like that around here.

[Eric Edelstein]

You know what? I don't mean to be controversial or political. We're against the KKK here.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay. We are anti kkk. They're making a little comeback. We're here to help us against it. The first one that jumps to me is what about Special K? Oh, delicious cereal. And also like. You hear like guys, who do we have on that? Special K is on it and it's gonna be good. The report is coming in next week. Special K. There's also.

[Steve Berg]

I'm also also. It's also short for ketamine, which is a horse tranquilizer.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. Which I'm sure you ever. You ever dance with ketamine?

[Steve Berg]

No, no, no, no.

[Eric Edelstein]

I haven't either. But I've had friends that have had incredible experiences with it. And it's like psychiatrists.

[Steve Berg]

I'm out. I'm out.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'm out. You find your own. You find your own medicine.

[Steve Berg]

I don't like body disassociation. I'm not into that.

[Eric Edelstein]

No. The. Well, you feel like you're dead. Isn't that part of it?

[Steve Berg]

I think so.

[Eric Edelstein]

We want to steer away from the special. I'm with you, Steve. I love being in my body. I love me. I can't imagine a world without me in it. If we want to steer away from a drug reference, Special K, which is co opted a wonderful serial. There is a 90s rapper named Positive K. Ooh. So I don't hate Positive K or just a very simple ok, who's tackling that project? OK is on it.

[Steve Berg]

What about the Okdies?

[Eric Edelstein]

There's something there. The OK Corral. That's a real big thing in history from westerns. The OK Corral.

[Steve Berg]

For some reason, the Special case is really. Is hitting for me.

[Eric Edelstein]

The Special case.

[Katie]

Have you guys ever heard of a Special K bar?

[Eric Edelstein]

No. What is it?

[Steve Berg]

What is that?

[Katie]

Oh, it's like. So it's like. I think people call them scotcheroos in anywhere but Minnesota. But it's like Special K cereal, like, caramelized, and then you put a layer of chocolate over it, and that's a Special K bar.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, see, that already has a positive association of a delicious treat.

[Eric Edelstein]

How have I lived 48 years without caramelized Special K? I need this in my life.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Is there a Special K bar in Minneapolis?

[Katie]

Well, I mean, it's kind of like, you know, your grandma makes it, and then you just, like, can't.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, I see.

[Eric Edelstein]

Not a bar bar. Next.

[Steve Berg]

It's not a dwelling. You thought there was, like, a bar I was in? Are you.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'm like, this is a kind of bar. I don't do booze anymore. If I could go over and have caramelized special kids and shoot off my mouth and not have anybody correct me with their stupid phone.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. Two Gin Rickies and a Special K bar, please.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, my God. I. I will dance with the Shirley Temple ibn. Hold on. Do we just start an incredible business idea?

[Steve Berg]

I think so.

[Katie]

I think so.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay. I love this. I love this.

[Steve Berg]

So we have a. I think we have a good candidate for a group name in Special. The Special Cave pluralizing. I think that sounds nice. And it's kind of your own spin on it. Now, do you want individual nicknames as well?

[Katie]

I. I mean, people have. They're like, oh, we'll just start numbering you guys because there's so many.

[Steve Berg]

You're not a number. You're here.

[Eric Edelstein]

You're so much more than a number friend.

[Steve Berg]

You are. I don't like that. I hate that at all. I hate the number.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's so dumb. Katie wanted Katie too. It's like, no, you don't have.

[Steve Berg]

No, no, no, no, no. I think, I think, I think.

[Eric Edelstein]

What's the name of the person that wants to number you guys? Give me that name. Just throw it out.

[Katie]

His name is Steve.

[Steve Berg]

You know what? Steve's are always up to no good. Also, Steve is. If you watch. Watch cinema and TV in theater. Steve is an ex boyfriend name, by the way, is the name of every ex boyfriend in every movie. I'm telling you right now.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's amazing. None of us notices we're not named Steve. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta fight that back. You're like the ex boyfriend that everyone loves. Like the parents, like. Yeah, she's so much better than Steve. He was a little weird and he took him that haunted.

[Steve Berg]

He was the one.

[Eric Edelstein]

This guy's boring.

[Katie]

They're like, can we get rid of our daughter and have Steve?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, yeah. Well, the parents are like, hoping, like, what about Steve? Have you come?

[Steve Berg]

What about Steve?

[Eric Edelstein]

We're reclaiming good boyfriend with Steve. Okay, but like, that Steve can go straight to hell, and that's ex boyfriend in a Hallmark movie Energy.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, it is. It is.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

So you want. You want individualized nicknames. So let's start with your. Your boss, Kate. Kate is obviously the head honcho, the woman in charge. So let's give it. Let's give a nickname. Okay, so let's give a nickname that kind of symbolizes that. And we don't have to stay with. Honestly, we don't have to stay with a K word for the nickname. She has the purse strings. Okay. Yeah, like Caddy Bunny, like. Or Stacks, like stacks of cash.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, I don't hate stacks at all. Yeah, yeah, that's a power name. It's so much fun. Katie, too. Shut up, Steve. Yeah, not you, Berg. No, I.

[Steve Berg]

No, but look, yeah, but I. I like stacks also. It still represents the strong K word. So.

[Eric Edelstein]

And then that's like.

[Katie]

Yes.

[Eric Edelstein]

And then you can bring in the first, like I asked. Katie Stacks. She signed off on this?

[Steve Berg]

Absolutely.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's okay. Stacks go through the budget. Yeah, she did.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, she did. Yeah. She's always on time. Okay, so then describe the second Katie, and then we'll. We'll end with you. But like, what's the second Katie? What's her full name with her? What are we calling her?

[Eric Edelstein]

What's her vibe?

[Katie]

So the second one is Kate, and she is also a Catherine with an eye. And she's more of a production assistant, so she just kind of helps out. But she's like a utility knife. She knows everything and any. She could do anything.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, I like that. Swiss army knife. I mean, K. Swiss.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, damn. Jesse.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, my God, Jesse. That's why you get the big bucks.

[Steve Berg]

This is why.

[Eric Edelstein]

Because we're about to go Swiss army knife of like, Sha.

[Steve Berg]

I love that.

[Eric Edelstein]

Nope. K. Swiss. Boom.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, if Gareth heard that, he'd be so mad that Jesse just nailed that pun in a microsecond.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, my God. Jesse blast 500ft out this ballpark.

[Steve Berg]

Good God.

[Eric Edelstein]

You'Re sweating. Anyway, buddy, Good point.

[Steve Berg]

Good point.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. You already work. You're schmitzing.

[Steve Berg]

Steve, I run hot.

[Eric Edelstein]

My poor wife need a fan.

[Steve Berg]

You and I run the same temperatures.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, that's why we share a room.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Hopefully it's better than the time went to the Queen Mary with Jake, but, like, that room could be at 60 degrees.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, yeah. Well, don't let Eric plan your hotel visits, because he booked us. Me, Jake, and him. A. A shared room on the Queen Mary is literally the most uncomfortable night of sleep I've ever had.

[Eric Edelstein]

It was. It was my low moment. It was a low.

[Steve Berg]

Utter failure.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

We wanted a double tree, and Eric put us in, like, a 1920s, like, stowaway room. Like.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. And poor Steve was curled up on this couch. We were all in, like, these tiny twin be. And I will say, I'm sure they've improved it since then. The worst piece of fish I've had.

[Steve Berg]

In my life, literally.

[Eric Edelstein]

Which is ironic because we're sleeping in a boat. I'm like, you can't go wrong with a fish.

[Steve Berg]

There was a puddle of water on the plate. It was like. Clearly they just. They just thought it and just, like, gave it to us.

[Eric Edelstein]

I. They thought it put on a George Foreman grill. Called it good.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. And it was.

[Eric Edelstein]

And I'm not allowed to book hotels for the team anymore. Ever, ever, ever. No, I deserve this. I ain't running from it.

[Steve Berg]

And now the most important nickname that we will have because it's you and you're a special buddy. Tell us about your personality a little bit and also your function at work. How do. How do you think you're perceived at work? I want this nickname to really sing.

[Katie]

Yeah. I'm more of, like, a leader, but I'm also like, a swift army knife. I can do pretty much anything we have in our studios and. But I'm mainly a producer, so I like to call the shots and all that stuff. So.

[Steve Berg]

Okay, you're a producer. You're a little. Because he got. Well, you gotta be. That's okay. You've earned it.

[Katie]

Yeah. You have to be.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

Someone has. Someone has to keep the ship. The ship moving.

[Eric Edelstein]

Natalie just texted me. Cat attack.

[Steve Berg]

Cat attack.

[Eric Edelstein]

She's willing to give up her nickname. She's willing to share her nickname.

[Steve Berg]

Are you kidding?

[Katie]

I would be honored to share it with Nat Attack.

[Eric Edelstein]

Are you kidding? I think he's such a Cat attack.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Because cat attacks do one thing, they win.

[Steve Berg]

And then you could also, you know, your friends can all say, like, doobie, da da. The cat Attack. You wanna know by now, Cat Attack.

[Eric Edelstein]

Is truly top tier. Natalie. Yeah. You saved us again.

[Katie]

Yeah, I attack.

[Steve Berg]

I'm feeling pretty good. We got K, Swiss. We got Cat Attack. What was the other one again? I've already forgot Short term memory Stack. I love stacks. Stacks is like. Is a pretty.

[Eric Edelstein]

Stacks is incredible.

[Steve Berg]

Stacks is good stacks. Now, how are you going to pitch these nicknames to the ladies?

[Katie]

Well, I think Special K will be easy to implement.

[Steve Berg]

I think you should be called. By the way, I think you should be called the Special Kit, but.

[Katie]

Yeah, the Specialize it.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Katie]

So easy to implement. Yeah, yeah. As far as the other ones, I'm thinking I'm just going to. Once we get back from our Christmas break, I'm going to just, you know, start using it in my language.

[Sabrina]

To them.

[Steve Berg]

Yep, Yep.

[Katie]

That's the way they catch on.

[Steve Berg]

Yep.

[Katie]

Yeah. And maybe recruit the Ryans into this and then have them start calling them by that as well.

[Steve Berg]

Right.

[Katie]

And then we'll just see what happens from there.

[Eric Edelstein]

I hate saying it. You're probably going to have to recruit Steve.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Just to be like, I'll send him.

[Katie]

The link to this episode.

[Steve Berg]

And he'll have Steve send him that.

[Eric Edelstein]

Link and be like, dude, we didn't want to talk to hr, But.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

What you're doing is misogynistic and you can't just lump in women with numbers.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Susan B. Anthony didn't die for you to do that. And just give us numbers.

[Steve Berg]

And if it comes to it, yeah, you can have. I could. I could. As a lifelong Steve, I can lecture him in proper Steve etiquette.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. But you're probably gonna need to bring him on board. Make it seem like it's kind of his idea as well. But, like, you're gonna midwife.

[Katie]

He's the big, big boss, so he's going to need. Need to think.

[Eric Edelstein]

Never mind. I take it all back. Kiss his ass. Make it seem like it's his idea.

[Steve Berg]

Get that bonus.

[Eric Edelstein]

Don't talk about hr.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Just be like, we loved so much the idea of Katie 1, 2, and 3. But logistically and synergistically, we thought this might be a little better. Steve, if you're good with it.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. And if you need some kind of corporate retreat entertainment, Eric and I work at a reasonable rate where we.

[Eric Edelstein]

Group rate.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. We'd be happy to fly out to Jamaica or wherever the next, you know, kind of like getaway is with the team and entertain you guys.

[Eric Edelstein]

Dude, I will go to Minneapolis. I'm dying. If I have two nickels to scratch the other. I'll go to French Meadow. I'll go to second Avenue. I will go to Mill City Sound, one of the greatest record stores in the world. Steve, have you been to Mill City, friend?

[Katie]

Yes, I have.

[Eric Edelstein]

In Hopkins. No, it's the best people want to say and they want to sound cool, like electric fetus. It's good. Mill City Sound is the 1 greatest jazz section I think in the country.

[Katie]

Yep. It's so good.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, I love it. I love, you know, Mill City. You're a people friend now.

[Steve Berg]

Would you be willing to call back in and let us know how these new nicknames and the special case, how everyone's feeling about this? I have a feeling everyone's going to feel empowered.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'd love a group call if we could talk to the special case and even mix in Steve there. We'll kiss Steve's ass. Yeah, he's so good at that.

[Steve Berg]

That's what we do, fellow Steve.

[Eric Edelstein]

And we'll let Steve.

[Steve Berg]

No, no.

[Eric Edelstein]

We know how to wind up Steve and let him go. We're real good with that kind of guy. But like, if you're comfortable, they're comfortable with a group call. We would love it.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

But we need to be deeply involved.

[Steve Berg]

In this and Eric and I are very serious about, you know, of course you're gonna have to meet our quote, which is very reasonable. Right. Next corporate retreat. If you need some entertainment, I mean like, you know, entertainment that no one's ever going to forget, you're going to want to hit 13ft Incorporated. That's me and Eric's LLC for our entertainment years.

[Eric Edelstein]

Jake Johnson gets 27.5% of that booking fee and we're great with it.

[Steve Berg]

That's fine. That's fair.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's totally fair. But we are very excited.

[Katie]

Thank you guys so much for your help. I think this is going to be great. We are going to rid the nickname.

[Steve Berg]

Such a fun call. Kate, you're an absolute legend. And from now on, may I call you Cat Attack?

[Katie]

Oh, absolutely.

[Eric Edelstein]

God, Cat Attack. It was a joy. This is incredibly exciting, Steve. There's not much we love more on the show more than a follow up. We certainly hope we help. Maybe we didn't, but we're about to find out. Call her your name, where you're calling from and refresh us what you were looking for from us.

[Sabrina]

Hello, my. I used the name Sabrina when I called the first time fun name and yes, the witch. My mom told me that we descend from a long line of witches And I needed help deciding what to do.

[Steve Berg]

Right.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, my gosh, Sabrina, this is awesome. The second I heard your voice, I knew exactly who this was. And I remember that was one of those. I really hoped we helped, not just on an ethereal witch perspective, but a family perspective. So please let us know. Briefly fill us in on your issue and then let us know how this resolved.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, just remind the listeners, you know, the, the. The issue you had and then we'll get into how this all played out. Take it away, friend.

[Katie]

Right. Yeah.

[Sabrina]

So the issue is I really did not know what she was talking about. She didn't give me a lot of detail. She just told me that I would need to decide one day if I wanted to be a witch.

[Steve Berg]

Right. So just for the listeners. So you were basically told that you come, you were the descendant from a long line of witches. Right. And then you were told by a family member that you need to decide if you want to carry on the training. So, yeah, your mom. And so you were calling in to say, like, I don't know, do I need to. Do I pick up the mantle or do I just kind of like let someone else do it? So is that. Is that like a pretty apt summary?

[Sabrina]

It was more like how. How do I even know how to make this decision?

[Steve Berg]

Right.

[Sabrina]

Feel so out of depth.

[Steve Berg]

Right, right.

[Sabrina]

So. And I talked to some other family members and no one had any idea what she was talking about. You all recommended that I do more of my own research. And so I talked to my uncle. He also does not think my mom is a witch, but he did connect me to this long lost aunt of ours. So she's like 90 years old and she's a hoot. She's very fun and she, she doesn't use the word witch, but she likes to say, you know, there's something special about our family.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, I love that. Well, the witch branding has kind of gotten away from them.

[Steve Berg]

Well, also, it's like, I think people take the word witch and apply it to like, any. Any kind of like mad, you know, like, special touch that someone has. So, like, yes, there are witches, but not everything magical is a witch.

[Eric Edelstein]

No. And if historically you're getting burned at the stake for being a witch, you're gonna. You're gonna lean away from that brand.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, you are.

[Eric Edelstein]

So I. She said some special stuff. And also out the gates, just the fact that you reconnected with a 90 year old aunt already, I feel like we're heading the right way.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. How cool is that? Oh, yeah.

[Sabrina]

It's been awesome. She has been very fun. It's really nice to get to know her. She knew my grandpa, you know, when he was a kid, and he died 20 years ago, so it's just been this really great connection.

[Steve Berg]

How sweet. Yeah.

[Sabrina]

So then I talked to my mom more. I'm like, hey, I think I want to learn more. I want to learn more about all of this. I'm leaning in. I'm not giving you an answer, but I need to make an informed decision. And so she was really excited. She's like, okay, well, you know, what questions do you have? And I said, well, no one else says, which, like, where did that come from? And she said she was the first one to start using that as a term. She just thought it was easier. But it was more of a spiritual connection that the women in our family have had. I guess there were a few stories she had that were. You know, I'd heard this story, but told slightly differently. There was a great grandmother who was like the late 1890s, thought that something was wrong with her husband and.

[Michael]

Left.

[Sabrina]

Her house and just started running until she found he had been in a car accident and dragged him out and saved his life.

[Eric Edelstein]

What? What?

[Sabrina]

Yeah, you know, this is.

[Eric Edelstein]

You have this power, Sabrina.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. So was it a horse and buggy? Like, what?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Yeah, I think it was a horse and buggy.

[Sabrina]

Yeah, I know he lost his arm. I had known that he had been in his accident and lost an arm.

[Eric Edelstein]

And you got to.

[Sabrina]

My mom tells us.

[Katie]

Yeah, exactly.

[Steve Berg]

Those horse and buggy accidents can be nasty. I've been in two myself. That's why I had this weird limp.

[Sabrina]

Is that the truth?

[Steve Berg]

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's acting right there. That's one of the best actors on the planet.

[Steve Berg]

That's just my classical training. Sorry.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, that's it. That's it. That's Meisner right there. The class is working. You can watch him on CBS Ghost doing all that and more.

[Sabrina]

But, yeah, so I. I actually just got back from a spontaneous visit with my mom. My flight landed today, and now I'm on the phone with you all. So it was a great visit. Yeah, we. We did a little tarot reading.

[Steve Berg]

That's so lovely. I love tarot.

[Katie]

It's fun.

[Steve Berg]

It really is fun. It is fun.

[Sabrina]

Yeah. So it was. It was just. It was a really nice visit. And I think, if nothing else, it's definitely brought me and my mom closer and it's given me a new perspective on, you know, that's the stuff that really works for her and if I can lean in and we can have fun with it, then that's good for us.

[Katie]

Absolutely wonderful.

[Steve Berg]

Oh my God, that's so great. Well, I'll tell you what, like, you know, I think in this era, I think in all areas. Right. There is nothing wrong with in. You can do it in a multitude of ways. But enchanting your life, like making your like infusing a little magic in your life is wonderful. Like for Eric it is. I like going to see a concert isn't just enjoying music. There is, there's something else happening for Eric.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's my medicine. Yeah, it truly is.

[Steve Berg]

But, but it almost is. Like the way you enchant your life, Eric, is through art. You know what I'm saying? Like it's a beautiful thing. So I think you, you know, like you do this with your, your mom and what a, what a lovely thing.

[Eric Edelstein]

And, and I love how it's brought your family closer together. It's reconnected to you with a 90 year old elder which, oh, we need more of those in your life which then in turn is connected you with your grandfather that we lost 20 years ago and that you're closer with your mom. You're doing tarot, you're dipping a toe in which you don't have to make a giant decision right now with. Let's not use the word witch if I want to bring this special family origin stuff in. But what I love is that it's just been a giant net positive in your life.

[Steve Berg]

Yep. Also, so let's talk about when you're going to start hexing people.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. And can we give you names of big guy actors? There's a couple in town that we got that Steve and I battle with parts for. So we're just pretending to be nice guys. We want you to pull out that tarot deck and send a bad flu to a couple 275 pound guys.

[Steve Berg]

So we helped you. Now it's time for you to help.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. Nothing's free in this life, Sabrina. Daddy needs to win.

[Steve Berg]

It's a two way street. Well, now that we have a never.

[Eric Edelstein]

Never, we love those guys. Our big guy crew is solid. We actually love each other.

[Steve Berg]

But do you think there's any way you may take some of your magical learning learnings and you know, quasi interest and apply it into like your normie life?

[Katie]

Oh, maybe.

[Sabrina]

I mean the tarot reading that my mom and I did was all about my job.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Sabrina]

So I feel like I'll be using Some of what we talked about as I'm, you know, going to work and yeah, I'm not sure if I'll be doing tarot readings to do my job all the time. But it was a helpful way to think about how to look at some things that are coming up.

[Steve Berg]

It gives, it gives you a new perspective. Eric, you know, it'd be very fun to do like on our little Patreon coffee top show is have once. You know what, Once you get a little more familiar with tarot and feel like you're confident, we will let you do a live tarot chart for Eric and I.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yes, on the Patreon. My sister do one too. We can have a tarot patreon that will really piss off some people and I can't wait to do it.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Are you in? Sabrina, could we. After you. Oh, this is. Okay, you're stuck with us. This is happening.

[Steve Berg]

God, a live tour.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, Steve.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. So just really. Jesse, we know we, we have, we have Sabrina's information so we could. I can reach back out to her. Yeah, I will, I will personally set up. I will email you probably next month and sometime in February and we'll record, record it when you know, when you have time. But we would love to do a live on air tarot read. I think that'd be so fun.

[Eric Edelstein]

And if we can get the 90 year old aunt too.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. Okay. Come on. Eric's already angling for the 90 year old and I mean if the 90 year old aunt is in, obviously we'd love to have her.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yes, Eric.

[Steve Berg]

Take it easy fellas.

[Eric Edelstein]

Love it. I can't wait to meet her. I need a mentor.

[Sabrina]

Oh, I know you put some feelers out.

[Steve Berg]

I don't know if you, I don't.

[Sabrina]

Know if you know, convince my mom.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, we would love to meet your mom.

[Katie]

Any of this yet.

[Sabrina]

But I think she might be open to it.

[Eric Edelstein]

I think your mom would be open to it because we got some really net positive results. This is a dream follow up because we do. We think about all of you and Steve and I are kind of improvising here and we just hope we're giving good advice. And it's so nice to hear that if nothing else, this has brought you closer to your mom, reconnected to you with a beloved elder family member and also may have just gotten you on that witchy little path.

[Steve Berg]

Oh man. Oh, a witchy path. Well, yeah, I mean I think this, I think the live show, we're definitely gonna do that if done. Y' All y' all are down, so that, that sounds like a blast. Marina, I'm so happy this is such a positive experience for you.

[Sabrina]

Yeah, thank you guys so much. It really has been wonderful. So I, I appreciate all of your advice. It's been a really great couple of months.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, I love this. This makes me so happy.

[Steve Berg]

Remind me once more where you were calling from.

[Sabrina]

Oh, I'm in Chicago.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, wow.

[Eric Edelstein]

Wow.

[Steve Berg]

Put some giardinara peppers all over something for me today, will you?

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, yeah.

[Steve Berg]

Those things are so good.

[Eric Edelstein]

You know what?

[Steve Berg]

I can't even buy them because I'll, like, put them on cereal. Dude, I'll put them on every single thing. And they don't even belong there. But I, I, I mean, like, my blood is half Jer. It is.

[Eric Edelstein]

There's a quote for next year's calendar. Are you kidding? Earmark that, Jesse, please. My blood is half jardinera.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

Jesse's just earmarked it.

[Steve Berg]

We're good. We're good. All right, Fred, well, we'll reach out to you in February and we'll get that tarot show going.

[Sabrina]

Awesome. That sounds great.

[Eric Edelstein]

See, when we say you're stuck with us, we mean it.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Exactly. Yeah. Just let us know your wedding is. We'll be there too.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, please.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have a great one. Take care. Enjoy your weekend.

[Katie]

Thanks.

[Sabrina]

You too.

[Eric Edelstein]

Bye. Sabrina, it was an honor.

[Steve Berg]

Peace.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please Please email us your question@ HelpfulPodmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] heretohelpod to see our entire catalog.

[Eric Edelstein]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Theme song by Oliver Robinson. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Sabrina]

All video episodes of season one are.

[Steve Berg]

Available now on Patreon, and season two.

[Sabrina]

Video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th.

[Steve Berg]

Go to patreon.com heretohelpod.