Loading summary
Steve Berg
Well, good afternoon. This is your little friend, Stephen Berg, and this is a message going out to all you fantastically brilliant vasectomy doctors. I have a little proposal for you all. My wonderful friend and brother, Gareth Reynolds is looking to get a vasectomy done because he is making the choice to not bring children into this world. And you know what? I respect that opinion. Nobody wants a bunch of little garrets running around. Boy, try saying. Try pluralizing Gareth with a lisp. That's not easy. Nobody wants a bunch of little Garrett's running around when Gareth himself doesn't want that. So, doctors out there, what we are looking for, what we are wanting, if possible, is for you to give our friend Gareth a vasectomy. Now. We'll pay for it. He's got cobra. He's got great insurance. That's not the issue. Here comes the little angle we're taking. We would like to document this on a little thing called videotape. This is a plea. This is a call to all vasectomy doctors in the lower 48 in the United States. Please, oh, please, let our little friend, Gareth Reynolds get a vasectomy and let us videotape it. We're talking to Hi8. You know, like a gritty. You know, it'll look good, it'll be classy, it'll be artsy. You will come off looking like an absolute hero. That's a Burgundy. Thank you. Enjoy this message and enjoy this episode. Bye. Bye.
Katie
This is a Headgum podcast.
Eric Edelstein
Ladies and gentlemen. That's right, it's time again from Omaha, Nebraska, and Colossal Park, Los Angeles. It's weird. Here to help with Steve Bird and co host Eric Edelstein. Steve, we're gonna help some more people today. How you doing?
Steve Berg
Oh, Eric, I am just so great. It's Friday. I got the Friday vibes going. You know, I'm feeling very good. Footloose and fancy free. Ready for wild fun, mysterious weekend. It's cold. I'm in the tundra here.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, just stay in. Make yourself some cocoa, big daddy.
Steve Berg
Oh, there is going to be a lot of. I'm going to be making a lot of things. And you know what? Cocoa is a good idea. Treat. I should treat myself.
Eric Edelstein
I love it. I make my own pecan milk. Steve, we talked about on the Patreon yesterday, but this is worthy, I think, of Maine. We talked that there's some changes in how they're setting up hotel rooms. Yeah. And they're about to do a massive remodel. And because they figured out they lose a lot of power and money, apparently, with a bathroom door. So the new hotels, they're going to eliminate the bathroom door, and we are taking a stand against any hotel that's doing that.
Steve Berg
Well, before. Before I fall on my sword for the bathroom door in hotels across America. I like. Look, your concern is valid because. Look, I want a bathroom door, you know, all the time. You're sharing a hotel room. Sorry, we can't always have our own hotel room, people. We're not all.
Eric Edelstein
Your wife needs a bathroom door. My wife needs a bathroom door.
Steve Berg
They do want the separation stuff I do in there.
Eric Edelstein
Steve. Nobody needs to hear it. Nobody needs to be a part of it. Nobody needs that sensory overload.
Sabrina
No.
Steve Berg
Oh, no. In fact, you just describing it might have been too much sensory overload for me.
Eric Edelstein
It is, and I apologize. That's why we need you on this with us. We're reaching out to Marriott, jj. We're reaching out to. I'm a Hyatt Points member. I'm canceling my Hilton credit card.
Steve Berg
Oh, that's big.
Eric Edelstein
Well, it is. It is. I believe that Hilton franchisees have a right to rent to whoever they want. Stephen.
Steve Berg
Eric, I asked you a question about that. So, like, please. Here. Here's Eric's theory, basically, is that he thinks hotels are trying to save money by taking out the bathroom doors for an airflow heating, cooling situation.
Eric Edelstein
This is. This is a fact. First, they came from my bathtub. And I'm devastated. And I'm devastated because I. Like an Epsom salt bath.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
I check into a hotel, I get Epsom salts, and I pack some eucalyptus.
Sabrina
Steve.
Eric Edelstein
I pack some essential oils. Hold on.
Steve Berg
Where are you staying? Look here. And it is a serious question. You and I, are we equal 13ft together, right?
Eric Edelstein
Yes.
Steve Berg
That's just good science.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah.
Steve Berg
That's math.
Eric Edelstein
It is.
Steve Berg
I have found. And look, I'm not. I'm not. I don't take a lot of baths in hotels simply for the fact that they appear way too small. And I feel like I get stuck and I wouldn't be able to get out. And I'd have to have some, like, poor bellboy or bell and come to the room and, like, I'm like, excuse me, ma', am, Miss. Help me, sir. Like, I'm stuck in the bathtub because.
Eric Edelstein
I'm a real thing and I'm having to do yoga positions to get out. Like, I was just in the tiniest bathtub, but I just wanted to soak grandpa's legs. I've been walking in the snow.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
I've Been running, literally running. And so I got epsom salts, put it in there, and then I had to basically turn over, do like a downward dog pose, and then pull myself up using my Pilates upper body strength. I do have now to get out of this tub, but it sucked. That there's a grace in an art to a great hotel bath. The Male hotel in Tulsa has one of the great baths in the world. I do worry sometimes about being stuck in a bathtub, but they figured out it just makes more sense for them financially to eliminate the bathtub. So most places you go, Chaco Hotel in Albuquerque, they have no bathtub bathtubs. It's a giant bummer. Now they've done the math and they want to save money with energy and heating because I'm sure you get a lot of people like me. The second I get in there, I'm setting that AC to 60 degrees.
Steve Berg
Me too. I think I. I one time like froze. Was in a cheap hotel and froze over. I turned up so high that it was like one of those, like wall units. Not like, you know, not that you. The big, like white machine that's like attached to the wall in the window. I turned down so low that it started, like, leaking Freon. And I, like, had to move rooms. It was a whole ordeal.
Eric Edelstein
That's on them. That's not. You should be able to have a 60 degree hotel room without a problem. That's on them. And they're freon. You have a lawsuit.
Steve Berg
I'm like Letterman. I like the room cold, babe.
Eric Edelstein
No, I do too. I do too, man. We need it. We're big guys.
Steve Berg
Well, especially I'm eating a lot of spicy food in a hotel room.
Eric Edelstein
Well, of course. Oh, man, I had to do different. Well, this is the other thing is now again, they use the environment as an excuse or Covid.
Steve Berg
I was going to ask.
Eric Edelstein
They won't do your sheets unless you ask. Which meant twice during my trip, I had to call down to the front desk because I'd spilled dim sum sauce on my sheets.
Steve Berg
Now, specifically, what kind of humbling call.
Eric Edelstein
That's not a call I should have to make in a. In a nice hotel, Eric. I would please clean my sheets. There's hoisting all over my.
Steve Berg
Thank you. All I wanted was some specificity on what sauce was. I mean, you can't.
Eric Edelstein
There's hoisin, There was chili oil. Then I'm. I'm working on people pleasing, but I used towels as napkins. Then they were covered in chili oil, and I spent probably half an hour trying to get the chili oil out of the towels. And I'm like, why am I spending a half hour of my life? Well, I didn't want the judgment from the maid. No. I care deeply about what a maid thinks.
Steve Berg
I tip well.
Eric Edelstein
You have to tip well because we're not doing anything good to that room. Did I ever tell you when two maids try to have an intervention on me?
Steve Berg
What?
Eric Edelstein
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Steve, this was amazing. So I went back to the hotel, and there were two. Two maids kind of waiting for me, right? And one of them looked like she was about to cry.
Steve Berg
Oh, God.
Eric Edelstein
And they said that they're praying. They're saying that they're going to pray for me. And they wanted me to get help. And I. I was so confused. And I'm like, is this. Is this a language thing? I'm. What?
Steve Berg
What?
Eric Edelstein
I don't know what happened at that point. I hadn't drinking, like, seven or eight years. Then I went in the hotel room. Now when I sleep at night, I have to take magnesium.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
So I had that calm. Magnesium powder.
Steve Berg
Yeah. Oh, boy.
Eric Edelstein
And there was a pile of it.
Steve Berg
It looked like a pile of yak.
Eric Edelstein
It looked like Belushi's final day. It looked like the biggest pile of cocaine you've ever seen in your life. And I already bonded with them. You know me, I. I bonded with him. I talked with them.
Steve Berg
Absolutely.
Eric Edelstein
We're having a good old time. Anytime somebody cleans your hotel room, especially if there's dim sum sauce in the bed, that's five bucks.
Steve Berg
I'm in the middle of trying to convince my wife to let me get a skateboard because I want to prove to my friend that given six months, I can do a K foot by Ollie. So I'll let you know how that goes. Maybe on the next intro we can readdress that and I'll.
Eric Edelstein
Susie, if you're listening. No. The answer is.
Steve Berg
She's like, I don't want to take care of you.
Eric Edelstein
I now have a financial partnership with your husband. Susie. The only way to fuck this up is to give this giant man very close to 50 a skateboard. My financial system is tied in with Steven. Do not let him get on a skateboard. We all know how this movie ends. Yeah. Do not be a parody of yourself.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
I can't do an episode of this. There's no replacing you.
Steve Berg
Stop it.
Eric Edelstein
I can't do it. If you're in a coma, you have head damage. No. No skateboard.
Steve Berg
It could be interesting, though.
Eric Edelstein
No. I vote no.
Steve Berg
I'm voting no.
Eric Edelstein
We're going to put this to Jake and Gareth. The skateboard is officially now on hold up for a vote.
Steve Berg
They absolutely not like the skateboard idea either. Yeah, okay.
Eric Edelstein
Of course not. Steve.
Steve Berg
Eat your heart out, Tony Hawk. I'm coming for you, baby. Enjoy this episode. Folks.
Jake Johnson
This episode of the podcast has been brought to you by Dell. Have you been waiting for the perfect time to upgrade your tech? Good news. The wait is over. Dell Tech Day's annual sales event is here and we're celebrating our best customers with fantastic deals on the latest PCs like the Dell 14 plus with Intel Core Ultra processors.
Gareth Reynolds
We've also got incredible perks like Dell Rewards, fast free shipping, premium support, price match guarantee and more. And while you're upgrading your PC, you may as well go all out because we're offering huge deals on our premium suite of monitors and accessories. You know what that means? That's right. You can get a whole new setup with amazing savings. Clearly this is a sale you don't want to miss. Visit Dell.com deals that's Dell.com deals.
Eric Edelstein
And.
Gareth Reynolds
We are brought to you by Squarespace. Oh Squarespace, how we love you. Squarespace is where you go to create an online present to appear professional. You launch your passion project with Squarespace. We love Squarespace. We use Squarespace all the time. My website, GarethReynolds.com is a Squarespace website. We use Squarespace to help people on the show build their they're. Well, honestly to corroborate their fibs and their white lies. We use Squarespace for that sometimes. But other times people will use Squarespace for trying to build up their business online. I was working with someone who we were going to start a whole ear business and it completely fell apart. But we were going to use Squarespace because there's no other place to go. It's an all in one website platform that is designed to help you stand out and succeed online.
Jake Johnson
Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. Plus streamline your workflow with built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. So go to squarespace.com for a free trial when you're ready to launch. Use offer code Gil sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode is brought to you by Quince.
Gareth Reynolds
Quince gives you that well built wardrobe that holds up over time. Premium materials, thoughtful designs, everyday staples that feel way easier to wear. You can rely on them as the weather shifts.
Jake Johnson
I got a real Quint story here. So I got a bunch of Quint shirts. Really nice black shirts. I've been wearing them a lot. I'm doing an Apple press day to talk about the dink, the pickleball movie, the networks, going back to my days when I first started. Don't really like how Jakester dresses himself at these events or they do it to others, I don't know. But they always hire a stylist just to oversee what the old Jakester is wearing. I've used the same woman, this woman, Annie, she's excellent. She came to the house the other day. She goes, what have you been wearing? Let's try to find something that works with what you're wearing. I go, I've been wearing these black shirts from Quince. She says, oh, I love that brand. I go, oh yeah. She goes, yeah. She goes, why don't we just wear one of those with a little jacket over it? What kind of pants you like? I like Quince pants. She goes, let's order some of those. So I will be wearing the Quince shirt because of the Quintz sponsorship and I'm becoming Mr. Quince.
Gareth Reynolds
Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com heretohelp for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns on and now available in Canada. So that's Q-U-I-N c e.com here to help. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com here to help.
Eric Edelstein
Hello. Hello, friend. You are in the other realm with weird. Here to help with Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein. Caller, what is the name you're going with and what is the location you're going with?
Michael
Oh, my name is Michael. I'm from Connecticut.
Eric Edelstein
Michael, Connecticut. Love it, love it.
Steve Berg
Famous for that pizza. Everyone's saying Connecticut's got the best pizza. Is that true, Michael?
Eric Edelstein
Oh, yeah.
Michael
I just got some from Clays.
Steve Berg
Now you're coming. You got. Y' all are coming from like kind of a crispy thin, like a little bit char on the bottom if, if memory serves. Is that right?
Eric Edelstein
Yeah, yeah.
Michael
If you're going down to New Haven, that's, that's the name of the game.
Eric Edelstein
Streets in the town of New Haven.
Steve Berg
Down on the streets in the town of New Haven. Well, that wasn't bad on my part, actually.
Eric Edelstein
No, that's a pretty Good. Your mojo's rising on Sunday.
Steve Berg
I hit that.
Eric Edelstein
Wow. Okay, friends, speaking of mojo, Jim Morrison. You're on a desert island. You can only bring one book, one album, one movie. What's it going to be?
Michael
Ooh. One of each.
Eric Edelstein
One of each.
Steve Berg
And no thinking about Michael. It's just rapid fire. Top of your head.
Eric Edelstein
We want to know who you are by what you consume.
Michael
I'd say at least one of the Harry Potter books.
Steve Berg
Okay.
Eric Edelstein
Beautiful.
Michael
From for a album. Oh, God.
Steve Berg
Don't even need to think about it. Go with your gut.
Michael
One of the Led Zeppelin ones.
Steve Berg
Okay.
Eric Edelstein
Hell yeah. Hell, yeah. I just saw Robert Plant, by the way. He was incredible.
Michael
Oh, that's so cool.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, he still got it. Still hit those notes.
Michael
For a movie, I'd do the Hangover.
Steve Berg
Okay, awesome. Okay, awesome.
Eric Edelstein
What food are you gonna bring? You can only have one meal this whole time. Is it going to be Connecticut Tavern style? Pizza?
Michael
Pasta?
Eric Edelstein
Yeah. There you go.
Steve Berg
You are a man after my own heart.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, yeah. Well, you already, friend.
Steve Berg
You don't get to bring all the sauce if you want. I mean, yeah, you can.
Eric Edelstein
You can find stuff on the island and cook because I'm in charge.
Steve Berg
This. This island is.
Eric Edelstein
There's garlic, there's cream sauce, there's cashew cream, pecan cream.
Steve Berg
Why would you not just want to be at the. That doesn't make any kind of sense.
Eric Edelstein
But it makes every bit of sense. You can, like, you know, hang out. We'll talk off the air about this.
Steve Berg
We'll talk off the air.
Eric Edelstein
And use that pasta water. Use that pasta water to make the beginnings of your sauce.
Steve Berg
I'll tell you what they call that. The Tears of God in Italy.
Eric Edelstein
It is. It completely is. It changes everything. It's a binder, Steve.
Steve Berg
It emulsifies things. We all know that. It's wonderful. I made a result last night.
Eric Edelstein
Come on, Michael. We have a sense of you now, and we already really like you. I mean, I just saw Robert Plant three weeks ago. You mentioned Led Zeppelin. Everyone go see Robert Plant on his tour. He's playing for the Turnstiles by Neil Young. Michael, what's going on? How can we help you today?
Michael
I am a. I'm a New York jets fan.
Steve Berg
Okay.
Eric Edelstein
Sorry.
Michael
Which is a. It's a tough thing to be.
Eric Edelstein
It's a real tough thing.
Michael
I want to do my part to help. And so I thought if I bought myself a velvet tracksuit and wore it when they played.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Michael
Then I could make, like, a lucky tracksuit and it would, like, combat some of the Universal bad juju they got going on.
Steve Berg
Yes.
Michael
And it would keep my sanity.
Steve Berg
I think this is a great idea. How can we help you in terms of. Are you looking for us to, like, help you? Say yes and feel good about this tracksuit? Talk to me.
Michael
No, I. I need your guys's help with. I sent a couple photos in of tracksuits, but I'm more interested in how do I make the tracksuit lucky.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, God. Did you.
Steve Berg
Boy, did you come to the right place, brother.
Eric Edelstein
We can embody that well, I mean, first, once you get the. Okay, do we have pictures of the tracksuit? I'd like. Ye. I've got some options. You. You get a good one first off.
Steve Berg
Yep, yep.
Jake Johnson
All right.
Eric Edelstein
Get a good one. Go for quality.
Steve Berg
Let's get a gander. Oh, hello.
Eric Edelstein
Okay, this is it, Michael. You're a man of quality. We got options. We got options. That is the right. Right there, dude. In the velour.
Steve Berg
Yeah, I think the velour. I'm going the velour.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, the puma, Michael. What I like. So I recently got a tracksuit and I just got the Amazon velour one and it was horrible. It was full of microfibers. I think I probably took about six months off my life whenever I was inhaling. What you have sent me are the incredible brands you want. You know, I want Puma, you want Sergio Takini. You might even want to dip a toe in the. The Fila waters. Fila makes a great one that Mr. Taylor. That's a little.
Steve Berg
So Mr. Taylor. I'm out on Mr. Taylor.
Eric Edelstein
I'm out ON Mr. Taylor.
Steve Berg
Unless you like that green. Doesn't even see. Now that looks that.
Eric Edelstein
That's a great look.
Steve Berg
That's.
Eric Edelstein
That's a great look.
Steve Berg
Jet colors. Okay, so here's look.
Eric Edelstein
But look at the Sergio Takini.
Steve Berg
I mean, it's really nice.
Eric Edelstein
And that's such a classic one.
Steve Berg
However, I think we got to move away from the pictures because the listeners just can't see what we're. What's happening?
Eric Edelstein
No, they want to see Steve.
Steve Berg
Bur. So here's here. Well, they can't see anything because most of them are listening Patreon.
Eric Edelstein
Tons of them are on that Patreon. Five bucks a month.
Steve Berg
It doesn't matter. People are listening. The majority are lifting in their cars on the way to work right now. They can't see it. But folks. Okay, so, Michael, I think you got some decisions to make. That's a personal choice. However, how can Eric and I help you make it Lucky Pal. I think he came to the right man. First off, I am going to recommend. Do you have a relative, like an uncle or a cousin or a grandpa or a grandma who you felt close to, who you have any relics from? Yes. Okay.
Michael
I mean, I. I could. I could dig something up. Not, like, physically, like, literally, but, yeah, I.
Steve Berg
If you have, like, an old brooch from, like, Grandma Nancy or, like, you know, Uncle Chuck's, like, you know, like, saxophone read, I would get that in the pocket, fasten it to that thing. Using that ancestor magic is really gonna make that thing sing. It's gonna make. It's gonna make that trust very powerful.
Eric Edelstein
Preferably if that person was also a Jets fan.
Gareth Reynolds
Right.
Steve Berg
That would. That would be nice, too.
Eric Edelstein
I will burn some sage.
Steve Berg
Yep.
Eric Edelstein
I will. Santo Palo Santo.
Steve Berg
Absolutely.
Eric Edelstein
Let it waft all over that jumpsuit and say, wash on it.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, yeah, don't have it.
Michael
Queen State.
Eric Edelstein
And then I would say, while you're doing that, read a sacred text which in. This is clearly going to be Joe Namath's autobiography. Eric, you need to put on the Joe Namath episode of the Brady Bunch and read from Joe Namath's autobiography. He has some incredible passages about the passion of Matt Snell and that team. And, like, you need to embody that jumpsuit with the passion of the jets when they were winning.
Steve Berg
Eric, I think that's a brilliant idea. I think reading Joe Namath passages, go through the book, pull out some really nice passages. However, along with that, I would sit down, take your tracksuit, put it in the most comfortable chair in front of the tv, and have it watch Flash Gordon. The original Flash Gordon, or the 1980s one where Queen did the soundtrack. Because Flash Gordon, folks, he is obviously a fictional character. However, he was the quarterback of the New York Jets.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, that's it.
Steve Berg
And that's. That's gonna. That's gonna. And. And Michael, you already said you were reading like a. You know, you like Led Zeppelin, you like Harry Potter. Those are fantastical movies in the. You know, Led Zeppelin, they practice the dark arts. So, like, using infusing a little bit of magic via Flash Gordon, I think would really kind of put you, the jets, like, in a great place for next season.
Eric Edelstein
And the other thing that I love putting on, you know, after Jess goes to bed. Vintage NFL films with the voice of God, John Fenza. Yeah, he is the greatest. Those vintage NFL films things are art. I download the soundtracks because it's some of the most brilliant instrumental stuff. It's right up there with Angelo Badalamente. In terms of very good phonic scores. So like you're embodying this jetsu with a winning culture. Yeah, a winning culture with a winning culture. And I just am to say this when the jets start to turn it around and I do think it's going to happen soon. We know. And everyone listening knows it's because of you in this jumpsuit.
Steve Berg
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to be seen as a hero.
Eric Edelstein
Throw on Top Gun. Throw on the volleyball scene in Top Gun. Those are jet fighter pilots. That's what you want. You want playing with the boys. Kenny Loggins energy in that jets. In that jet suit.
Steve Berg
I think that's a good.
Eric Edelstein
And we're calling it a jet suit. Also get a bomber jacket like they had real cool with the army surplus. They have like fighter pilot bomber jackets. You can put that on as well. And I mean those. That's just a great look. Anyway, it's. It's cut short, so I try to get a longer.
Steve Berg
Eric's always trying to help the military industrial complex.
Eric Edelstein
Never. No, I am not. Do you have any rituals already around watching games?
Michael
No. Most of the time it's just trying to like, sit down somewhere quiet away from everybody.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah, I get that you're a real fan.
Steve Berg
Yeah. I don't know. You know, like, I also think like, you know, people are like, oh my God, I stained my favorite shirt. Sometimes I like stains because I like to remember delicious meals. You know, like, I mean, the stains are just. They tell the story. They're just like historical relics. So if you want to, like, you know, maybe. Maybe get some like buffalo sauce on that. Don't be afraid to have a little cheese and I would never wash this thing. I would like. If you do, it's. It's obviously dry clean only I would not, you know, hand wash that thing.
Eric Edelstein
And I'd say wear it to a game that you think the jets will initiate it. Try to put in where, you know, where it's not too cold or you can wear a parka over it. But like, look at that schedule. Like, we're winning this game. I'm baptizing this jumpsuit with a win.
Michael
That's a great idea.
Eric Edelstein
Do I. When I'm.
Michael
When I'm having it. Watch Flash Gordon and.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Michael
Jets greatest moments.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Michael
I feel like I should be wearing it during that. And so.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes more sense. The voice of God John Vincenzo will embody that.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
Name with hands off to.
Steve Berg
That's exactly right.
Eric Edelstein
The Reaper Defense Congress. The jets fly high again. You're getting all that energy.
Steve Berg
You are. That is seeping into the deep fibers down to the atomic level. I mean, you're. Basically, what we're doing is we're working with quantum physics here. Yeah, we're going down to subatomic level and we are observing matter do a different thing. So we are infusing. What we're trying to do is decrease randomness. We are. We are performing a little bit of magic. We're trying to get randomness to not be so random and to work in your favor and so imbuing all this tracksuit with all the magic. Eric, you've had some amazing suggestions.
Eric Edelstein
I'm trying. It's a power of positivity.
Steve Berg
Let the past be the past. We don't need to dwell in the past. We're moving forward. We're starting a new regime change of positivity for the jets. It all starts with you getting this beautiful velour tracksuit. I think you should take some of these suggestions. Show up Flashcord. Show it these old films. Teach, like, let this track suit know that this team is a winner. Starting now.
Eric Edelstein
Starting big time. Big time.
Michael
I gotta break it.
Steve Berg
What do you think about that, Michael?
Michael
I gotta break it in.
Steve Berg
Yeah, buddy. Well, first you gotta get it and, you know, then you gotta get to know it and you're gonna introduce it to the wonderful film flash Gordon. The 80s version. The 1980 version with Queen did the soundtrack. Great movie. But you'll love if you've never seen it. You're gonna be like, oh, my God, I can't believe I'm just seeing this movie now. But your tracksuit is just gonna be charged with magical Flash Gordon power.
Michael
Okay, I'm gonna. I'll. How about I. I'll wear it for the week. Like the weekend.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah, I'll have.
Michael
There you go, Gordon. Going on in the background. Highlights going on for the entire weekend. And then I'll wear it.
Steve Berg
Yep.
Michael
For the. The draft, maybe.
Eric Edelstein
That's what I'm saying. The draft. Maybe you'll get that kid from Indiana. Yeah, that changes everything. And then hit some big picks in the second and third round.
Steve Berg
Oh, get offensive line to support them. I mean, you're. You're. You're sitting pretty in that situation. So, Michael, do you think. Is there anything else you think we can help you with? Is there any other kind of suggestions or do you think you're in a good place? And also, I'd say we're going to really need some pictures of you in that New tracksuit, pal.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, yeah.
Michael
I gotcha. I'll document the weekend.
Steve Berg
Yeah. Model some pictures.
Eric Edelstein
And I'm hoping, Michael, we get an update from you next year. You're calling in after the jets have won their 10th game. And you and I and Steve know that it's because of this tracksuit. Yeah, yeah. Imagine you turn.
Steve Berg
You turned a football team around.
Eric Edelstein
You got to visualize. We live inside a dream. Our collective subconscious is an amazing thing. Start visualizing those jets winning in that jumpsuit. And I vote Sergio Takini, because you can wear that for. To formal events. You can dress it up, dress it down.
Steve Berg
That's Internet.
Eric Edelstein
That's a nice, nice. Yeah, you could you start wearing that on flights. Cancel Christmas. Yeah, it's gonna be awesome.
Steve Berg
Oh, you could be a fashion week at the Met gala. You could be in the Pyrenees mountains of France. I mean, like, that thing's gonna play anywhere you go, you know, big time, big time.
Eric Edelstein
In Sergio we trust.
Steve Berg
Yeah. Michael, best of luck to you, pal. We look forward to hearing back to you, man. Go Jets.
Jake Johnson
Thank you. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Wayfair. The new year is here. Get back into an at home routine you love and elevate your space with Wayfair. From bedding and mattresses to storage solutions for every home in the house, Wayfair is your one stop shop. Refresh your living room with accent pillows, mirrors, and faux plants. For way less.
Gareth Reynolds
When my mother comes over, she always is going, oh, you need one of these. You need one of those, you know? So I used Wayfair to get some like end tables for. For lamps. You would call it home decor. I'm not doing an all around refresh, but that's up to you if you'd like to do that. But they offer a ton of stuff at Wayfair. It's very easy to shop there. You really get a sense of what it is, what it'll look like, its size, all those things. And really, they have everything. I could not believe the amount of stuff that they had on there. Everything. Literally everything.
Jake Johnson
So get organized, refreshed and back on track this year. For way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop online. All things home. That's Wayfair. W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by 1-800-FLOWERS. Valentine's Day is almost here and I want to let you in on my secret. That wins every year. 1,800flowers.com My Pammy deserve something that shows I put thought into it, effort and a little bit of love. And that's why I trust 1-800-FLowers.com they've never let me down. It's always stunning bouquets, high quality, delivered on time every single time.
Gareth Reynolds
1-800-Flowers.Com They've never let me down. I've sent my girlfriend flowers a number of times. Stunning bouquets, high quality, delivered on time every single time. So Valentine's is right around the corner and the best arrangements are selling out fast. If you wait too long, you might miss out on the deal. 1-800-flowers.com has been doing this for over 50 years. They source roses from the freshest high altitude farms that produce big blooms and rich colors. Now see, I didn't even know about this high altitude angle, but I guess we're talking mountain roses.
Jake Johnson
I actually used 1-800-flowers to send a couple thank you gift packages to some family friends. Bush charcuterie board, some fruits, some chocolates. Very solid. Win very easy. And this is that's the truth.
Gareth Reynolds
So don't wait until it's too late to get Double Bloom's offer. Buy one dozen, get two dozen roses free. Go to 1-800-flowers.com here to help right now. That's 1-800-Flowers.com heretohelp to double your roses for free.
Jake Johnson
This episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Mint Mobile. Every group has someone who insists on doing things the hard way. Eric, actually me. That friend still paying for subscription. They forgot they had that one friend refusing to update their phone because it still works. Eric not wanting people to have phones in bars so they can check him when he's lying about a story. That's weird. I used to be that person too. Especially when it came for over pain for wireless. Then I switched to mobile. And I'm glad that I did. Here's the reality about Mint Mobile. We gave a promo code to Brian Patrick Farrell. My dear friend. I said, what do you think? And he said, the reception is just as good. He was scared to do it. He kept his number. He said it was simple to do. And then over the whole year, he's going to stick with it. He's like, I'm saving real money and I did not lose any quality.
Gareth Reynolds
Ready to stop paying more than you have to. New customers can make the switch today and for a limited time, get unlimited premium wireless for just $15 a month. Switch now@mintmobile.com heretohelp that's mintmobile.com heretohelp upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for 12 month plan required, $15 month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only over 50 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy and capable device required. Availability, speed and coverage varies. Additional terms apply. See mintmobile.com hello caller.
Eric Edelstein
Welcome. You are here on Weird. Here to help with Eric and Steve Berg. What is your name or fake name and where are you calling from? Or a fake place you're calling from?
Katie
Hi, I'm Katie and I am calling from Minnesota.
Steve Berg
Oh, we were just talking about Minnesota.
Eric Edelstein
Love Minnesota. The friendliest place on earth that I found truly the nicest people in the world. Where in Minnesota?
Katie
Yes, Twin Cities.
Steve Berg
Oh, The Twin Cities. St. Paul and Minneapolis.
Eric Edelstein
Love it there so much.
Steve Berg
It is great. What a great music scene. The replacements. Who's could do you know? I want to ask you, Katie. Well, yeah, of course, but that's an avenue. Yeah. And Prince. I just got scolded by Eric.
Eric Edelstein
Katie, thank you.
Steve Berg
Have you ever had a pasty? It's a traditional Scandinavian, like a kind of pocket thing, you know what I'm talking about?
Katie
No.
Eric Edelstein
No.
Steve Berg
Okay, well they're supposed to. Well, shit. All right, thanks for calling. Bye bye. Okay, well maybe you should. Maybe you should try them because they're very famous in Minnesota. They even make a breakfast past you, which I'm very curious about. So Katie, tell us how Eric and I can help you. Friend.
Katie
Yeah, so I started a new job in May at a pretty large company here in the Twin Cities.
Steve Berg
Okay.
Katie
And my boss's name is Kat.
Steve Berg
Really quick, what do they have you doing at this company?
Katie
I am working for their in house production team. So we create a whole bunch of content for internal and external use and so in the production field but in corporate now.
Steve Berg
Okay, great, great, great, great, great. You're creative.
Sabrina
Yeah.
Katie
So my boss. Yes, yes, my boss's name is Katie. Obviously I'm Katie. And then another person that we work with, her name is Kate.
Steve Berg
Oh my gosh.
Katie
We have. Or since I started, we've also hired three other forms of Kate. Katie or cats.
Steve Berg
Wow.
Katie
So Kate and Kat and I work very closely together and when I first started they had already been there. So I was the third kid. So naturally people would call us the.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah.
Katie
So my question is how can we avoid people calling us that? And what is a new nickname that we could have?
Eric Edelstein
Yeah, I think you're right. We don't want to really Lean into the whole, hey, it's the KKK girls that's making a comeback these days. But not in this office. Not in Minnesota.
Steve Berg
Not.
Eric Edelstein
Not today. Not today. We're going to fight back. So there's three K's.
Katie
There's three kids. Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
No good comes from that friend. Yeah, I think you got to hire a fourth or someone's got to get fired.
Steve Berg
So are you.
Eric Edelstein
Are you.
Steve Berg
Are you basically. Are you looking for fun nicknames? Because that would just keep it fun and light, or are you, like, literally looking for a better way to communicate? Because the opening gamut for me would be like, call everyone by their last names. Like, a lot of teachers do that, like, in an elementary school, because they don't want to.
Katie
But I feel like last names. Last names are like a dude thing. Like, we have a lot of Ryan's in our department as well, and we just go like last names with it, and that's, like, such a dude thing to do.
Steve Berg
Okay, so you don't. Yeah, you want. You want to stay firmly in the female. The female vibe with the name thing.
Katie
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
I like this one of you three. You draw straws. Someone's got to change the name to Dolores, and there's no looking back. You're just stuck with it.
Steve Berg
That actually is the. That's my. That's going to be my favorite version. And I think Dolores is the perfect name. So it's a fun bit where you have to change your. Your work name. That's.
Eric Edelstein
You draw straws, and that person gets a free lunch because they're having to change your name. And like a good.
Steve Berg
That's tr.
Eric Edelstein
Like a nice Minneapolis steakhouse. I do recommend French Meadow.
Steve Berg
Yeah, but like, creamy spinach for the table.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, cheese sticks.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
Sand dabs. Dessert drinks. But. But you are. For the rest of your time, Dolores.
Steve Berg
That is such a good option. I love it. However, we have some more time, so let's. Let's come up some more. So your initial. What you were kind of wanting. You sounds like you wanted fun nicknames.
Sabrina
Yes.
Katie
Yeah.
Steve Berg
Okay, so. So let's. Let's. Let's break this down a little bit. So we're working with three versions of Kate, Katie, Catherine, whatever.
Katie
Yeah, let's.
Steve Berg
Let's start with one. So for the first candidate, what does she go by? Is it Cat?
Katie
Cat, yep.
Steve Berg
And that's short for Catherine, I'm guessing.
Katie
Catherine with a Y. Catherine with a.
Steve Berg
Y. Oh, that's very elegant. She must be. She must be.
Eric Edelstein
Okay.
Steve Berg
But she's my.
Katie
She's my boss. So we can't go like crazy. Okay?
Eric Edelstein
And we have to respect it. Your boss, but Catherine with a Y, I mean, she's probably drinking tea with her pinky up.
Steve Berg
Am I right? Yeah, yeah. Highborn. That's highborn.
Katie
Canadian, too. So.
Eric Edelstein
Minnesotans are closest to Canadians. And I will say Canadians are more polite. Canadians are on their phone less. That's part of the magic of Minnesota, is it's. It's the Great North.
Steve Berg
Katie are like. Usually nicknames come from, like, something someone did. Like, a certain event that was funny. Like, you know, oh, I spilled the tea. No, now you're spilly. Spilly Joe or something like that. That's a terrible example. But is there, like.
Eric Edelstein
Is there, like, a. Billy Joe is good. Don't you. Don't you say that about my friend.
Steve Berg
It's not bad. So is there. Is there a personality? Is there a personality? Usually they're derived from an event or a personality quirk. So, like, starting with Kate, your boss, we have to tread lightly because it is the bus. But is there. Yeah, true. They're going to have a better sense of humor. Do they have a personality quirk that we could. We could extract from that to give them a nickname?
Katie
I mean, she is like. I know people make fun of Minnesotans because we have an accent, or at least that's what they say.
Steve Berg
Right?
Katie
But her Canadian accent, like, when she says sorry, it's like, sorry.
Eric Edelstein
Sorry.
Katie
Yes. Like, really, like, really emphasizing the O's compared to Minnesota.
Steve Berg
So we could come up with a famous, like, like, Canadian. Like, you call her Trudeau or something like that. That's not a great one.
Eric Edelstein
But, like, you know, like, Tina, Sarah, Neil Young, Joni Mitchell.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
There's so many cool Canadians.
Steve Berg
So. But like, those are like two. Like, we call her Joanie. Like that. I feel like it's got to be like, you know, who was that legendary, like, mayor who, like, smoked crack?
Eric Edelstein
Rob Ford. Was he a kid? He was way ahead of his time.
Steve Berg
Rob Ford.
Eric Edelstein
Ford would run the world these days. God.
Steve Berg
You and I will be auditioning for the. The movie someday.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, I'm ready, Rob. I have plenty to eat at home for videotapes to him smoking crack. But he would be, like, a mainstream politician now. Like, Rob Ford would be like, you know, if we want a moderate voice, let's get the guy smoking crack. That has plenty at home. But I highly recommend. It's a short little Netflix doc, but.
Steve Berg
It was wild, I thought, too. It's great.
Eric Edelstein
And his brother now is one of the top Canadian politicians No, I believe it. Doug was kind of the one behind the scenes running Rob because he's like, this guy's special.
Steve Berg
He's like the Jeb Bush to George.
Eric Edelstein
Absolutely. Doug.
Steve Berg
The one who should have been in power.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna Rob.
Steve Berg
Rob didn't have the charisma of Rob though.
Eric Edelstein
No, man, no. You look great in a hockey jersey.
Steve Berg
So I mean, you know, nickname should be like usually one word. Easy to say like. So is there something that like just like distills Canada down to a one word form?
Eric Edelstein
Can I ask one other question?
Gareth Reynolds
Are you looking for a nickname for.
Eric Edelstein
The whole group to replace Here comes the kkk?
Gareth Reynolds
Are you looking for individual nicknames for.
Eric Edelstein
The three of you?
Gareth Reynolds
Know what I mean?
Katie
I think one. I think one as a group because that's usually how they refer to us as a group. And you know, the KKK is just kind of, you know, we don't like that.
Steve Berg
We don't like that around here.
Eric Edelstein
You know what? I don't mean to be controversial or political. We're against the KKK here.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
Okay. We are anti kkk. They're making a little comeback. We're here to help us against it. The first one that jumps to me is what about Special K? Oh, delicious cereal. And also like. You hear like guys, who do we have on that? Special K is on it and it's gonna be good. The report is coming in next week. Special K. There's also.
Steve Berg
I'm also also. It's also short for ketamine, which is a horse tranquilizer.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah. Which I'm sure you ever. You ever dance with ketamine?
Steve Berg
No, no, no, no.
Eric Edelstein
I haven't either. But I've had friends that have had incredible experiences with it. And it's like psychiatrists.
Steve Berg
I'm out. I'm out.
Eric Edelstein
I'm out. You find your own. You find your own medicine.
Steve Berg
I don't like body disassociation. I'm not into that.
Eric Edelstein
No. The. Well, you feel like you're dead. Isn't that part of it?
Steve Berg
I think so.
Eric Edelstein
We want to steer away from the special. I'm with you, Steve. I love being in my body. I love me. I can't imagine a world without me in it. If we want to steer away from a drug reference, Special K, which is co opted a wonderful serial. There is a 90s rapper named Positive K. Ooh. So I don't hate Positive K or just a very simple ok, who's tackling that project? OK is on it.
Steve Berg
What about the Okdies?
Eric Edelstein
There's something there. The OK Corral. That's a real big thing in history from westerns. The OK Corral.
Steve Berg
For some reason, the Special case is really. Is hitting for me.
Eric Edelstein
The Special case.
Katie
Have you guys ever heard of a Special K bar?
Eric Edelstein
No. What is it?
Steve Berg
What is that?
Katie
Oh, it's like. So it's like. I think people call them scotcheroos in anywhere but Minnesota. But it's like Special K cereal, like, caramelized, and then you put a layer of chocolate over it, and that's a Special K bar.
Steve Berg
Oh, see, that already has a positive association of a delicious treat.
Eric Edelstein
How have I lived 48 years without caramelized Special K? I need this in my life.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
Is there a Special K bar in Minneapolis?
Katie
Well, I mean, it's kind of like, you know, your grandma makes it, and then you just, like, can't.
Steve Berg
Oh, I see.
Eric Edelstein
Not a bar bar. Next.
Steve Berg
It's not a dwelling. You thought there was, like, a bar I was in? Are you.
Eric Edelstein
I'm like, this is a kind of bar. I don't do booze anymore. If I could go over and have caramelized special kids and shoot off my mouth and not have anybody correct me with their stupid phone.
Steve Berg
Yeah. Two Gin Rickies and a Special K bar, please.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, my God. I. I will dance with the Shirley Temple ibn. Hold on. Do we just start an incredible business idea?
Steve Berg
I think so.
Katie
I think so.
Eric Edelstein
Okay. I love this. I love this.
Steve Berg
So we have a. I think we have a good candidate for a group name in Special. The Special Cave pluralizing. I think that sounds nice. And it's kind of your own spin on it. Now, do you want individual nicknames as well?
Katie
I. I mean, people have. They're like, oh, we'll just start numbering you guys because there's so many.
Steve Berg
You're not a number. You're here.
Eric Edelstein
You're so much more than a number friend.
Steve Berg
You are. I don't like that. I hate that at all. I hate the number.
Eric Edelstein
That's so dumb. Katie wanted Katie too. It's like, no, you don't have.
Steve Berg
No, no, no, no, no. I think, I think, I think.
Eric Edelstein
What's the name of the person that wants to number you guys? Give me that name. Just throw it out.
Katie
His name is Steve.
Steve Berg
You know what? Steve's are always up to no good. Also, Steve is. If you watch. Watch cinema and TV in theater. Steve is an ex boyfriend name, by the way, is the name of every ex boyfriend in every movie. I'm telling you right now.
Eric Edelstein
That's amazing. None of us notices we're not named Steve. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta fight that back. You're like the ex boyfriend that everyone loves. Like the parents, like. Yeah, she's so much better than Steve. He was a little weird and he took him that haunted.
Steve Berg
He was the one.
Eric Edelstein
This guy's boring.
Katie
They're like, can we get rid of our daughter and have Steve?
Eric Edelstein
Yeah, yeah. Well, the parents are like, hoping, like, what about Steve? Have you come?
Steve Berg
What about Steve?
Eric Edelstein
We're reclaiming good boyfriend with Steve. Okay, but like, that Steve can go straight to hell, and that's ex boyfriend in a Hallmark movie Energy.
Steve Berg
Yeah, it is. It is.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah.
Steve Berg
So you want. You want individualized nicknames. So let's start with your. Your boss, Kate. Kate is obviously the head honcho, the woman in charge. So let's give it. Let's give a nickname. Okay, so let's give a nickname that kind of symbolizes that. And we don't have to stay with. Honestly, we don't have to stay with a K word for the nickname. She has the purse strings. Okay. Yeah, like Caddy Bunny, like. Or Stacks, like stacks of cash.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, I don't hate stacks at all. Yeah, yeah, that's a power name. It's so much fun. Katie, too. Shut up, Steve. Yeah, not you, Berg. No, I.
Steve Berg
No, but look, yeah, but I. I like stacks also. It still represents the strong K word. So.
Eric Edelstein
And then that's like.
Katie
Yes.
Eric Edelstein
And then you can bring in the first, like I asked. Katie Stacks. She signed off on this?
Steve Berg
Absolutely.
Eric Edelstein
That's okay. Stacks go through the budget. Yeah, she did.
Steve Berg
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she did. Yeah. She's always on time. Okay, so then describe the second Katie, and then we'll. We'll end with you. But like, what's the second Katie? What's her full name with her? What are we calling her?
Eric Edelstein
What's her vibe?
Katie
So the second one is Kate, and she is also a Catherine with an eye. And she's more of a production assistant, so she just kind of helps out. But she's like a utility knife. She knows everything and any. She could do anything.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, I like that. Swiss army knife. I mean, K. Swiss.
Steve Berg
Oh, damn. Jesse.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, my God, Jesse. That's why you get the big bucks.
Steve Berg
This is why.
Eric Edelstein
Because we're about to go Swiss army knife of like, Sha.
Steve Berg
I love that.
Eric Edelstein
Nope. K. Swiss. Boom.
Steve Berg
Oh, if Gareth heard that, he'd be so mad that Jesse just nailed that pun in a microsecond.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, my God. Jesse blast 500ft out this ballpark.
Steve Berg
Good God.
Eric Edelstein
You'Re sweating. Anyway, buddy, Good point.
Steve Berg
Good point.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah. You already work. You're schmitzing.
Steve Berg
Steve, I run hot.
Eric Edelstein
My poor wife need a fan.
Steve Berg
You and I run the same temperatures.
Eric Edelstein
No, that's why we share a room.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
Hopefully it's better than the time went to the Queen Mary with Jake, but, like, that room could be at 60 degrees.
Steve Berg
Oh, yeah. Well, don't let Eric plan your hotel visits, because he booked us. Me, Jake, and him. A. A shared room on the Queen Mary is literally the most uncomfortable night of sleep I've ever had.
Eric Edelstein
It was. It was my low moment. It was a low.
Steve Berg
Utter failure.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah.
Steve Berg
We wanted a double tree, and Eric put us in, like, a 1920s, like, stowaway room. Like.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah. And poor Steve was curled up on this couch. We were all in, like, these tiny twin be. And I will say, I'm sure they've improved it since then. The worst piece of fish I've had.
Steve Berg
In my life, literally.
Eric Edelstein
Which is ironic because we're sleeping in a boat. I'm like, you can't go wrong with a fish.
Steve Berg
There was a puddle of water on the plate. It was like. Clearly they just. They just thought it and just, like, gave it to us.
Eric Edelstein
I. They thought it put on a George Foreman grill. Called it good.
Steve Berg
Yeah. And it was.
Eric Edelstein
And I'm not allowed to book hotels for the team anymore. Ever, ever, ever. No, I deserve this. I ain't running from it.
Steve Berg
And now the most important nickname that we will have because it's you and you're a special buddy. Tell us about your personality a little bit and also your function at work. How do. How do you think you're perceived at work? I want this nickname to really sing.
Katie
Yeah. I'm more of, like, a leader, but I'm also like, a swift army knife. I can do pretty much anything we have in our studios and. But I'm mainly a producer, so I like to call the shots and all that stuff. So.
Steve Berg
Okay, you're a producer. You're a little. Because he got. Well, you gotta be. That's okay. You've earned it.
Katie
Yeah. You have to be.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah.
Steve Berg
Someone has. Someone has to keep the ship. The ship moving.
Eric Edelstein
Natalie just texted me. Cat attack.
Steve Berg
Cat attack.
Eric Edelstein
She's willing to give up her nickname. She's willing to share her nickname.
Steve Berg
Are you kidding?
Katie
I would be honored to share it with Nat Attack.
Eric Edelstein
Are you kidding? I think he's such a Cat attack.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Katie
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
Because cat attacks do one thing, they win.
Steve Berg
And then you could also, you know, your friends can all say, like, doobie, da da. The cat Attack. You wanna know by now, Cat Attack.
Eric Edelstein
Is truly top tier. Natalie. Yeah. You saved us again.
Katie
Yeah, I attack.
Steve Berg
I'm feeling pretty good. We got K, Swiss. We got Cat Attack. What was the other one again? I've already forgot Short term memory Stack. I love stacks. Stacks is like. Is a pretty.
Eric Edelstein
Stacks is incredible.
Steve Berg
Stacks is good stacks. Now, how are you going to pitch these nicknames to the ladies?
Katie
Well, I think Special K will be easy to implement.
Steve Berg
I think you should be called. By the way, I think you should be called the Special Kit, but.
Katie
Yeah, the Specialize it.
Steve Berg
Yeah, yeah.
Katie
So easy to implement. Yeah, yeah. As far as the other ones, I'm thinking I'm just going to. Once we get back from our Christmas break, I'm going to just, you know, start using it in my language.
Sabrina
To them.
Steve Berg
Yep, Yep.
Katie
That's the way they catch on.
Steve Berg
Yep.
Katie
Yeah. And maybe recruit the Ryans into this and then have them start calling them by that as well.
Steve Berg
Right.
Katie
And then we'll just see what happens from there.
Eric Edelstein
I hate saying it. You're probably going to have to recruit Steve.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Katie
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
Just to be like, I'll send him.
Katie
The link to this episode.
Steve Berg
And he'll have Steve send him that.
Eric Edelstein
Link and be like, dude, we didn't want to talk to hr, But.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
What you're doing is misogynistic and you can't just lump in women with numbers.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
Susan B. Anthony didn't die for you to do that. And just give us numbers.
Steve Berg
And if it comes to it, yeah, you can have. I could. I could. As a lifelong Steve, I can lecture him in proper Steve etiquette.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah. But you're probably gonna need to bring him on board. Make it seem like it's kind of his idea as well. But, like, you're gonna midwife.
Katie
He's the big, big boss, so he's going to need. Need to think.
Eric Edelstein
Never mind. I take it all back. Kiss his ass. Make it seem like it's his idea.
Steve Berg
Get that bonus.
Eric Edelstein
Don't talk about hr.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
Just be like, we loved so much the idea of Katie 1, 2, and 3. But logistically and synergistically, we thought this might be a little better. Steve, if you're good with it.
Steve Berg
Yeah. And if you need some kind of corporate retreat entertainment, Eric and I work at a reasonable rate where we.
Eric Edelstein
Group rate.
Katie
Okay.
Steve Berg
Yeah. We'd be happy to fly out to Jamaica or wherever the next, you know, kind of like getaway is with the team and entertain you guys.
Eric Edelstein
Dude, I will go to Minneapolis. I'm dying. If I have two nickels to scratch the other. I'll go to French Meadow. I'll go to second Avenue. I will go to Mill City Sound, one of the greatest record stores in the world. Steve, have you been to Mill City, friend?
Katie
Yes, I have.
Eric Edelstein
In Hopkins. No, it's the best people want to say and they want to sound cool, like electric fetus. It's good. Mill City Sound is the 1 greatest jazz section I think in the country.
Katie
Yep. It's so good.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, I love it. I love, you know, Mill City. You're a people friend now.
Steve Berg
Would you be willing to call back in and let us know how these new nicknames and the special case, how everyone's feeling about this? I have a feeling everyone's going to feel empowered.
Eric Edelstein
I'd love a group call if we could talk to the special case and even mix in Steve there. We'll kiss Steve's ass. Yeah, he's so good at that.
Steve Berg
That's what we do, fellow Steve.
Eric Edelstein
And we'll let Steve.
Steve Berg
No, no.
Eric Edelstein
We know how to wind up Steve and let him go. We're real good with that kind of guy. But like, if you're comfortable, they're comfortable with a group call. We would love it.
Katie
Okay.
Eric Edelstein
But we need to be deeply involved.
Steve Berg
In this and Eric and I are very serious about, you know, of course you're gonna have to meet our quote, which is very reasonable. Right. Next corporate retreat. If you need some entertainment, I mean like, you know, entertainment that no one's ever going to forget, you're going to want to hit 13ft Incorporated. That's me and Eric's LLC for our entertainment years.
Eric Edelstein
Jake Johnson gets 27.5% of that booking fee and we're great with it.
Steve Berg
That's fine. That's fair.
Eric Edelstein
It's totally fair. But we are very excited.
Katie
Thank you guys so much for your help. I think this is going to be great. We are going to rid the nickname.
Steve Berg
Such a fun call. Kate, you're an absolute legend. And from now on, may I call you Cat Attack?
Katie
Oh, absolutely.
Eric Edelstein
God, Cat Attack. It was a joy. This is incredibly exciting, Steve. There's not much we love more on the show more than a follow up. We certainly hope we help. Maybe we didn't, but we're about to find out. Call her your name, where you're calling from and refresh us what you were looking for from us.
Sabrina
Hello, my. I used the name Sabrina when I called the first time fun name and yes, the witch. My mom told me that we descend from a long line of witches And I needed help deciding what to do.
Steve Berg
Right.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, my gosh, Sabrina, this is awesome. The second I heard your voice, I knew exactly who this was. And I remember that was one of those. I really hoped we helped, not just on an ethereal witch perspective, but a family perspective. So please let us know. Briefly fill us in on your issue and then let us know how this resolved.
Steve Berg
Yeah, just remind the listeners, you know, the, the. The issue you had and then we'll get into how this all played out. Take it away, friend.
Katie
Right. Yeah.
Sabrina
So the issue is I really did not know what she was talking about. She didn't give me a lot of detail. She just told me that I would need to decide one day if I wanted to be a witch.
Steve Berg
Right. So just for the listeners. So you were basically told that you come, you were the descendant from a long line of witches. Right. And then you were told by a family member that you need to decide if you want to carry on the training. So, yeah, your mom. And so you were calling in to say, like, I don't know, do I need to. Do I pick up the mantle or do I just kind of like let someone else do it? So is that. Is that like a pretty apt summary?
Sabrina
It was more like how. How do I even know how to make this decision?
Steve Berg
Right.
Sabrina
Feel so out of depth.
Steve Berg
Right, right.
Sabrina
So. And I talked to some other family members and no one had any idea what she was talking about. You all recommended that I do more of my own research. And so I talked to my uncle. He also does not think my mom is a witch, but he did connect me to this long lost aunt of ours. So she's like 90 years old and she's a hoot. She's very fun and she, she doesn't use the word witch, but she likes to say, you know, there's something special about our family.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, I love that. Well, the witch branding has kind of gotten away from them.
Steve Berg
Well, also, it's like, I think people take the word witch and apply it to like, any. Any kind of like mad, you know, like, special touch that someone has. So, like, yes, there are witches, but not everything magical is a witch.
Eric Edelstein
No. And if historically you're getting burned at the stake for being a witch, you're gonna. You're gonna lean away from that brand.
Steve Berg
Yeah, you are.
Eric Edelstein
So I. She said some special stuff. And also out the gates, just the fact that you reconnected with a 90 year old aunt already, I feel like we're heading the right way.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah. How cool is that? Oh, yeah.
Sabrina
It's been awesome. She has been very fun. It's really nice to get to know her. She knew my grandpa, you know, when he was a kid, and he died 20 years ago, so it's just been this really great connection.
Steve Berg
How sweet. Yeah.
Sabrina
So then I talked to my mom more. I'm like, hey, I think I want to learn more. I want to learn more about all of this. I'm leaning in. I'm not giving you an answer, but I need to make an informed decision. And so she was really excited. She's like, okay, well, you know, what questions do you have? And I said, well, no one else says, which, like, where did that come from? And she said she was the first one to start using that as a term. She just thought it was easier. But it was more of a spiritual connection that the women in our family have had. I guess there were a few stories she had that were. You know, I'd heard this story, but told slightly differently. There was a great grandmother who was like the late 1890s, thought that something was wrong with her husband and.
Michael
Left.
Sabrina
Her house and just started running until she found he had been in a car accident and dragged him out and saved his life.
Eric Edelstein
What? What?
Sabrina
Yeah, you know, this is.
Eric Edelstein
You have this power, Sabrina.
Steve Berg
Yeah. So was it a horse and buggy? Like, what?
Eric Edelstein
Yeah.
Katie
Yeah, I think it was a horse and buggy.
Sabrina
Yeah, I know he lost his arm. I had known that he had been in his accident and lost an arm.
Eric Edelstein
And you got to.
Sabrina
My mom tells us.
Katie
Yeah, exactly.
Steve Berg
Those horse and buggy accidents can be nasty. I've been in two myself. That's why I had this weird limp.
Sabrina
Is that the truth?
Steve Berg
No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
Eric Edelstein
That's acting right there. That's one of the best actors on the planet.
Steve Berg
That's just my classical training. Sorry.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah, that's it. That's it. That's Meisner right there. The class is working. You can watch him on CBS Ghost doing all that and more.
Sabrina
But, yeah, so I. I actually just got back from a spontaneous visit with my mom. My flight landed today, and now I'm on the phone with you all. So it was a great visit. Yeah, we. We did a little tarot reading.
Steve Berg
That's so lovely. I love tarot.
Katie
It's fun.
Steve Berg
It really is fun. It is fun.
Sabrina
Yeah. So it was. It was just. It was a really nice visit. And I think, if nothing else, it's definitely brought me and my mom closer and it's given me a new perspective on, you know, that's the stuff that really works for her and if I can lean in and we can have fun with it, then that's good for us.
Katie
Absolutely wonderful.
Steve Berg
Oh my God, that's so great. Well, I'll tell you what, like, you know, I think in this era, I think in all areas. Right. There is nothing wrong with in. You can do it in a multitude of ways. But enchanting your life, like making your like infusing a little magic in your life is wonderful. Like for Eric it is. I like going to see a concert isn't just enjoying music. There is, there's something else happening for Eric.
Eric Edelstein
It's my medicine. Yeah, it truly is.
Steve Berg
But, but it almost is. Like the way you enchant your life, Eric, is through art. You know what I'm saying? Like it's a beautiful thing. So I think you, you know, like you do this with your, your mom and what a, what a lovely thing.
Eric Edelstein
And, and I love how it's brought your family closer together. It's reconnected to you with a 90 year old elder which, oh, we need more of those in your life which then in turn is connected you with your grandfather that we lost 20 years ago and that you're closer with your mom. You're doing tarot, you're dipping a toe in which you don't have to make a giant decision right now with. Let's not use the word witch if I want to bring this special family origin stuff in. But what I love is that it's just been a giant net positive in your life.
Steve Berg
Yep. Also, so let's talk about when you're going to start hexing people.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah. And can we give you names of big guy actors? There's a couple in town that we got that Steve and I battle with parts for. So we're just pretending to be nice guys. We want you to pull out that tarot deck and send a bad flu to a couple 275 pound guys.
Steve Berg
So we helped you. Now it's time for you to help.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah. Nothing's free in this life, Sabrina. Daddy needs to win.
Steve Berg
It's a two way street. Well, now that we have a never.
Eric Edelstein
Never, we love those guys. Our big guy crew is solid. We actually love each other.
Steve Berg
But do you think there's any way you may take some of your magical learning learnings and you know, quasi interest and apply it into like your normie life?
Katie
Oh, maybe.
Sabrina
I mean the tarot reading that my mom and I did was all about my job.
Steve Berg
Yeah.
Sabrina
So I feel like I'll be using Some of what we talked about as I'm, you know, going to work and yeah, I'm not sure if I'll be doing tarot readings to do my job all the time. But it was a helpful way to think about how to look at some things that are coming up.
Steve Berg
It gives, it gives you a new perspective. Eric, you know, it'd be very fun to do like on our little Patreon coffee top show is have once. You know what, Once you get a little more familiar with tarot and feel like you're confident, we will let you do a live tarot chart for Eric and I.
Eric Edelstein
Yes, on the Patreon. My sister do one too. We can have a tarot patreon that will really piss off some people and I can't wait to do it.
Steve Berg
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eric Edelstein
Are you in? Sabrina, could we. After you. Oh, this is. Okay, you're stuck with us. This is happening.
Steve Berg
God, a live tour.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, Steve.
Steve Berg
Yeah. So just really. Jesse, we know we, we have, we have Sabrina's information so we could. I can reach back out to her. Yeah, I will, I will personally set up. I will email you probably next month and sometime in February and we'll record, record it when you know, when you have time. But we would love to do a live on air tarot read. I think that'd be so fun.
Eric Edelstein
And if we can get the 90 year old aunt too.
Steve Berg
Yeah. Okay. Come on. Eric's already angling for the 90 year old and I mean if the 90 year old aunt is in, obviously we'd love to have her.
Eric Edelstein
Yes, Eric.
Steve Berg
Take it easy fellas.
Eric Edelstein
Love it. I can't wait to meet her. I need a mentor.
Sabrina
Oh, I know you put some feelers out.
Steve Berg
I don't know if you, I don't.
Sabrina
Know if you know, convince my mom.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, we would love to meet your mom.
Katie
Any of this yet.
Sabrina
But I think she might be open to it.
Eric Edelstein
I think your mom would be open to it because we got some really net positive results. This is a dream follow up because we do. We think about all of you and Steve and I are kind of improvising here and we just hope we're giving good advice. And it's so nice to hear that if nothing else, this has brought you closer to your mom, reconnected to you with a beloved elder family member and also may have just gotten you on that witchy little path.
Steve Berg
Oh man. Oh, a witchy path. Well, yeah, I mean I think this, I think the live show, we're definitely gonna do that if done. Y' All y' all are down, so that, that sounds like a blast. Marina, I'm so happy this is such a positive experience for you.
Sabrina
Yeah, thank you guys so much. It really has been wonderful. So I, I appreciate all of your advice. It's been a really great couple of months.
Eric Edelstein
Oh, I love this. This makes me so happy.
Steve Berg
Remind me once more where you were calling from.
Sabrina
Oh, I'm in Chicago.
Steve Berg
Oh, wow.
Eric Edelstein
Wow.
Steve Berg
Put some giardinara peppers all over something for me today, will you?
Eric Edelstein
Oh, yeah.
Steve Berg
Those things are so good.
Eric Edelstein
You know what?
Steve Berg
I can't even buy them because I'll, like, put them on cereal. Dude, I'll put them on every single thing. And they don't even belong there. But I, I, I mean, like, my blood is half Jer. It is.
Eric Edelstein
There's a quote for next year's calendar. Are you kidding? Earmark that, Jesse, please. My blood is half jardinera.
Steve Berg
Oh, okay.
Eric Edelstein
Jesse's just earmarked it.
Steve Berg
We're good. We're good. All right, Fred, well, we'll reach out to you in February and we'll get that tarot show going.
Sabrina
Awesome. That sounds great.
Eric Edelstein
See, when we say you're stuck with us, we mean it.
Steve Berg
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Exactly. Yeah. Just let us know your wedding is. We'll be there too.
Eric Edelstein
Yeah, please.
Steve Berg
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have a great one. Take care. Enjoy your weekend.
Katie
Thanks.
Sabrina
You too.
Eric Edelstein
Bye. Sabrina, it was an honor.
Steve Berg
Peace.
Jake Johnson
We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please Please email us your question@ HelpfulPodmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our patreon@patreon.com heretohelpod to see our entire catalog.
Eric Edelstein
We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller.
Gareth Reynolds
Theme song by Oliver Robinson. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.
Sabrina
All video episodes of season one are.
Steve Berg
Available now on Patreon, and season two.
Sabrina
Video episodes will be available every Monday starting January 20th.
Steve Berg
Go to patreon.com heretohelpod.
Host: Headgum
Date: February 6, 2026
This episode features a lively blend of comic banter, heartfelt advice, and quirky listener dilemmas. Steve Berg and Eric Edelstein host a special “Weird Here to Help” edition, fielding calls from listeners on everything from creating a lucky Jets tracksuit, to workplace nickname snafus, to embracing a possible family “witch” legacy. The show maintains its signature blend of playful sarcasm, goofy asides, and genuine attempts to help, offering advice as wise as it is weird.
Timestamps: 02:00–09:37
Timestamps: 13:42–27:15
Michael from Connecticut wants to use a velour tracksuit to channel good luck for the long-suffering New York Jets. He seeks advice on how to make the garment “lucky.”
Timestamps: 31:40–51:40
Katie from Minnesota’s Twin Cities works on a team overflowing with Kates, Katies, and Kats, leading to the (unfortunate) nickname “the KKK.” She seeks a better group moniker and fun individual nicknames to avoid the problematic abbreviation.
Timestamps: 52:17–63:37
Sabrina previously called seeking advice on whether to “embrace her family’s witch legacy” after her mom claimed they descend from a line of witches.
This episode is quintessential “We’re Here to Help”: chaotic, compassionate, and delightfully weird. Steve and Eric embrace each problem with the same irreverent energy, offering as much laughter as they do earnest solutions. Whether invoking ancestor magic for a football team, rebranding workplace groups to escape problematic nicknames, or encouraging listeners to lean into family “magic,” the hosts keep the tone supportive and playful. And yes, they’re always up for a follow-up—especially if Special K bars or live tarot readings are involved.