"We're Here to Help" Episode 265: A Noticeable Boner & Accordion Mistress

Date: February 25, 2026
Guests: Jake Johnson, Gareth Reynolds, Michael Angarano

Episode Overview

This episode continues the candid, comedic advisory tradition of Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds, joined by guest (and old friend) Michael Angarano. The main themes circle around two notably odd (and highly entertaining) listener problems: one about problematic workplace napping-erections, and another about one man’s quest to own and play an accordion despite his wife’s objections. The trio offers laughs, surprisingly practical advice, a deep-dive into wrestling boners, and proposes heartfelt (and hilarious) solutions.

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Catching Up with Michael Angarano

(03:13–14:33)

• Reunion & Career Reflections
  • Jake and Michael reminisce about filming Ceremony (2011, dir. Max Winkler) and Michael’s iconic Cadillac days.
  • Touch on working together on Minx (now on Netflix).
• Wild Stories from Filming in China
  • Michael shares stories about filming The Forbidden Kingdom with Jackie Chan and Jet Li, directed by legendary choreographer Yuen Woo-ping.
  • Insane martial arts training with only two weeks’ notice: “I had two weeks. So I was like this little Italian kid, 19 years old, out in China... I was really just struggling hard. And I would train for eight hours a day.” (05:04–06:15, Angarano)
  • Getting almost choked for real on set: “Wo Ping, who barely spoke English, comes up to me. Woo Ping. And he just goes, 'Michael, your eye.' And then he goes, 'Almost died.'” (06:40–07:12, Angarano)
• Jackie Chan: A Living Legend
  • On Jackie’s charm and massive entourage: “Really, really charming... always traveled with, like, a posse. Like, a huge amount of people... and always invited me out to dinner with his whole crew.” (07:43–08:19, Angarano)
  • Anecdote: Jackie leaves mid-filming for a one-day commercial: “Do you know how much they pay me? $10 million. Shampoo. And I was like, great. I guess I would go to Hong Kong.” (09:09–09:55)

2. Caller #1: Greg’s Workplace Nap Boners

(14:33–40:18)

Problem Setup

• Greg, 33, works in a small office; he unpredictably gets extremely tired and has to nap—each time leading to a full erection, which he insists is not sexual.
  • “Every single time this happens, I become fully erect. Just... So.” (15:40, Greg)
  • “You pass out at work and get rock hard.” (15:50, Jake)
• He’s seen doctors; no cause found. Now, he seeks advice on how to conceal these episodes from coworkers.

Laughter, Empathy, and Can-It-Really-Happen?

• The guys try to clarify: “Is this a problem outside work?” (road trips, at home—yes).
• Greg: “It's just this one specific feeling of where I can't help but close my eyes... I get it. Yeah, happens every time.” (21:38, Greg)
• Quick side quest on wrestling boners (see below).

Memorable Advice & Solutions

• Tuck and Cover (Clothing Strategies)
  • Tuck before sleep, wear loose/long shirts, untuck for naps, or add a “night shirt.”
    • “You gotta preemptively move that dick in a position, assuming it's gonna get hard. So tuck your dick into the top of your pants before you go to bed.” (21:49, Jake)
• Constriction Approaches
  • Extra-tight underwear, women’s girdle, athletic cup: “If you wear an athletic cup... and you get one of those old school… But you make sure it's tight enough that it's not moving.” (29:08–29:41, Jake)
• Physical Distraction
  • Draping a sweater or using a lap napkin.
  • “You have a sweater that you take off over your button down… you don't throw it on the back of your chair. It's on your lap.” (23:20, Angarano)
• Cold Deterrent
  • Crack-cold packs in pants as a “chill-down” Boner Blocker.

Hilarious Side-Tangent: The Wrestling Boner Debate

(31:00–37:49)

• Michael insists wrestling boners are frequent; Jake is skeptical.
  • “Wrestlers have boners, Jake. Let him live.” (30:47, Gareth)
• They bet on whether there's verifiable video evidence, and actually search YouTube live on the show.
• Michael wins: “Mike, I owe you a dinner. And I will tell whoever serving us the reason I'm paying tonight ... because I didn't think wrestlers got boners. And they in fact sometimes do.” (36:54, Jake)

Practical Outro

• Greg commits to trying the cup and reporting back:
  • “Probably the most effective would be the cup, but the most feasible is the sweater... I'll give it a shot.” (38:36–39:27, Greg)
  • Hosts urge him to call back with results for “science.”

3. Caller #2: Accordion Ambitions vs. The Wife

(43:34–62:13)

Problem Setup

• Greg (again? or new Greg?) wants to learn the accordion. Wife is adamantly against it—says he’s already “loud and annoying.”
  • “She says… I’m already pretty loud and annoying as it is.” (46:10, Greg)
• Also admits to being a “hobby guy” (bought a mandolin, rarely played it), which wife resents.

Insightful Dialogue

• Team probes: Can you learn outside the house? (Yes—detached garage, guest room, even at work.)
• Gareth: “If you wanted to do the above board version... you say to her, I'm going to get the accordion, I'm going to practice when I can in the garage way away from you, and in six months I'm gonna audition for you. And if you don't like where I'm at... you can nix it. And if you think I'm actually on the path ... maybe I can keep my hobby going.” (53:08–53:59, Gareth)
• Jake goes full “secret mistress”:
  • “You're going to put on a show for her... at a certain point you're trying to have your mistress and your wife have a three way.” (50:34–50:52, Jake)
• Michael: Only buy an accordion if you're committed—get lessons, set goals, de-clutter your hobby junk.

Actionable Solution

• The "Voice-Style" Challenge
  • Greg gets lessons for a set period (three to six months).
  • Develop skills in secret or with his wife’s knowledge (choose his path).
  • Audition for wife (and the podcast hosts) at the end; if he passes, he keeps the accordion.
  • If he fails, he must immediately sell it (and other “hobby graveyard” items like the mandolin and samurai sword).
• Hosts even offer to help connect him with a local accordion teacher from the listener base.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Workplace Boners:
  • “So the problem comes… every single time this happens, I become fully erect. Just... so.” (15:37–15:40, Greg)
• On Solutions:
  • “Let's create a cold barrier of the nuts.” (25:53, Jake)
  • “If you wear an athletic cup... that's built to protect it, so it doesn't get kneed or kicked. If you’re getting out of that, I don't know what to tell you.” (29:08–29:41, Jake)
• On Hidden Hobbies:
  • “You are building to a... show for her that is a total surprise... play her a love song under a spotlight.” (50:36–51:16, Jake)
• On Hobby Hoarding:
  • “Sell all the extra stuff you got. I think all your little hobby guys... you're letting her know this isn't what it used to be, the samurai sword...” (59:10–59:24, Gareth)
• On Wrestling Boners:
  • “Can we say this too? Whoever ends up having to pay [the dinner bet] has to tell the server why they're paying.” (31:53, Gareth)

Memorable, Absurd, & Heartfelt Moments

• Live YouTube Deep Dive: The hosts and Michael go all-in on the “wrestling boner” internet bet—a sustained comedic highlight with Jake eating crow with good grace.
• Callers' Willingness for Science: Greg, faced with odd but genuinely tricky dilemmas, volunteers himself for “workplace cup” experiments.
• Refined Relatability: Throughout, the trio deftly balance empathy and comedy—encouraging actionable, honest communication... without ever getting self-serious.

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:13–14:33] — Michael Angarano’s China/Forbidden Kingdom experiences
• [14:33–40:18] — Caller Greg: Work naps & problematic erections
• [31:00–37:49] — Wrestling boner bet and live video investigation
• [43:34–62:13] — Caller (also Greg?): Accordion ambitions and marriage negotiation
• [53:00–55:30] — Constructing the “Voice-style” challenge for hobby accountability
• [59:10–60:00] — De-cluttering to prove seriousness about hobbies

Tone & Delivery

The trio’s dynamic is playful, open, self-deprecating, and always prioritizing the absurd, even with deeply personal or embarrassing quandaries. Colloquial, irreverent, but ultimately kind.

Summary for New Listeners

If you missed this episode, you missed a deeply funny, surprisingly wise romp through male physiology, the perils of niche musical ambition, and one of the all-time greatest on-air wrestling boner disputes. The advice is as good as the laughs—sometimes both astounding and practical, often both at once. The chemistry between Jake, Gareth, and Michael makes the personal universal, the embarrassing empowering, and the ridiculous genuinely useful.

Want in on the next round? Email your problems to helpfulpod@gmail.com. Just be ready for science, sweater-draping, and the possibility of your own Voice competition.