266: Law & Order: Toe-rgy

Summary

We're Here to Help Podcast: Episode 266 - "Law & Order: Toe-rgy"

Podcast: We're Here to Help
Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Guests: Stone (recurring caller), Sam & Aaron (callers), Tyler (friend/intermediary)
Release Date: March 2, 2026

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Episode Overview & Main Theme

This episode, dubbed by Gareth as their “Law and Order” episode, gets wild as Jake and Gareth investigate a bizarre reputation crisis: a married couple, Sam and Aaron, have become the subject of an unsettling rumor at their climbing gym. Allegedly, they've been spotted publicly interlocking their toes in an intimate, almost romantic fashion. The hosts embark on a semi-serious (but mostly hilarious) journey to chase down the origins of this rumor, clear Sam and Aaron’s names, and determine the truth—complete with unconventional investigatory tactics, a cast of connected friends, and, of course, the input from the show’s resident foot enthusiast, Stone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing the Toe Controversy

• [01:46–06:29] Jake and Gareth set up the scenario: they’re trying to help Sam and Aaron with an unusual but surprisingly distressing predicament—a rumor affecting their reputation in their gym community.
• **Hosts banter Law & Order-style roles (“I’ll be Jerry Orbach”) and tee up the bit as both interrogation and detective case.
• Notable Quote (Gareth, 02:17):
  "When you listen to the episode and you get to like the third quarter of it, just know that's where we currently are right now. We're going to bring one of the stars of it, a big detective helper."

2. Meet Stone: The Foot Enthusiast

• [03:17–06:40, 31:08–35:40] Stone, a recurring self-aware "foot guy," offers lighthearted commentary on what makes feet attractive, peppered with playful admissions about his interests. He later frames the episode’s foot drama as having personal stakes.
• Notable Moment:
  Stone is often asked to quantify what percentage of his sexual attraction is foot-based, using a pizza analogy.
• Quote (Stone, 33:27):
  "Nobody's eating your toe pie, kid."

3. The Accused: Sam & Aaron Share Their Side

• [09:52–16:23] Sam (37, Tennessee) explains the rumor: after a regular gym session, a friend brought up that someone at the gym claimed to have seen Sam and Aaron “interlocking toes” in public.
• Aaron joins, confirming the rumor is “100% not true” and explaining the physical impossibility due to tight, sweaty climbing shoes.
• Both express embarrassment and confusion at having such a strange story attached to them.
• Notable Quote (Aaron, 13:37):
  “…someone at our climbing gym spotted us interlacing toes—like you hold hands palm to palm—in this really weird, bizarre, kind of icky way. And the problem is: we have never done that and we don't want to be known for doing that.”

4. Chasing the Paper Trail—Detective Work

• [16:46–29:54] The hosts and the callers trace the rumor to a bakery employee who also climbs and who may have mistaken Sam & Aaron for someone else.
• Jake and Gareth brainstorm a variety of approaches, including:
  • PI-style surveillance at the gym (“go at different times, look for the real toe-holders”)
  • Light-hearted suggestions about making flyers (shot down as it would only reinforce the weirdness).
  • A “chain of custody” approach: contacting every person in the rumor’s chain to verify and ultimately confront the original source.
• Notable Quote (Jake, 19:43):
  “I think we're going to have to engage with the community...I think we need to trace it to the original person, get them on a call with us and go, who told you? And then they're going to go, I saw it with my own eyes...Then you get on and you say hi, we're here too."

5. The Foot Fetishist’s Perspective

• [31:32–34:29] Stone is again called in to weigh in on the rumored activity from the perspective of someone who does appreciate feet. The hosts ask him to rank the importance of “feet” within his overall attraction on the “pizza chart”:
  • Face: 2 slices, Boobs: 2, Butt: 2, Feet: 1, Personality: 1.
  • Stone reflects on how he has “grown” and feels “normal,” to much laughter.
• Notable Quote (Jake to Stone, 35:01):
  “You mean my Hollywood icon Jake Johnson just told me I'm a normal pizza?”

6. The 'Witness' & The Telephone Chain

• [37:40–46:51] Tyler, the friend who heard the story third-hand, is brought on. Tyler recounts—with dramatic flair—how the story came to him via a bakery worker, through another friend, and how much it “troubled” him.
• Tyler insists he didn’t start the rumor and passes the investigative baton to the original bakery employee.
• Notable Quote (Tyler, 39:39):
  “One of these wonderful, trustworthy bakers…looked over and saw Sam and Aaron with their bare feet out...interlocking their toes, trying to sort of simulate the hand holding intimacy of a normal person...”
• The group agrees the only scientific way to clear things up is for Sam and Aaron to attempt to recreate the alleged act and document their (in)ability.

7. The Toe Interlock Test—Video Evidence

• [59:34–64:18] In a follow-up, Sam & Aaron (sheepishly) attempt to interlock their toes on video. The attempt is awkward, clearly difficult, and unsuccessful—proving the act is simply not physically possible for them.
• Jake, Gareth, and Tyler review the video ("giggles sounded smurfy") and agree it’s exonerating.
• Notable Quote (Jake upon reviewing, 62:32):
  “Their feet are going together. They are pushing. They are giggling…and what the audience can't see, it’s Tyler’s line, is the toes. Because of Sam's feet, his toes don't stretch at all.”

8. The Case Stalls—The Source Refuses to Go On Record

• [64:24–67:41] Tyler tries to get the original source (bakery worker) to come on the show; ultimately, the source declines, feeling it’s not fun and potentially “embarrassing.” However, she still seems to believe what she saw was Sam and Aaron.
• The group discusses the probable truth: someone saw a different couple, or it was a misunderstanding, but the story has been accepted by some as fact, making it hard to fully clear up.
• Notable Quote (Jake, 69:25):
  "She told people they were interlocking their toes…. That's the downside to hearsay."

9. Stone’s Final Judgement: The Foot Guy Rules on the Evidence

• [73:51–77:28] For final closure, the video is shown to Stone (“Stone style”) for a “foot guy’s” honest take:
  • He finds the feet too rough from climbing and cannot see how anyone would confuse them for “intimate” feet.
  • Declares the rumor “refuted”—Sam and Aaron are, in his expert opinion, not physically able to do the act described.
• Notable Quote (Stone, 75:49):
  "It's pretty much out in the open that they cannot interlace all of their toes. So it's refuted. Refuted."

10. Case, Kind of, Closed—But the Lesson Remains

• [77:40–end] The hosts reflect that the truth sometimes doesn’t matter once a rumor is loose. They give a final shoutout to all parties, including their global audience, and encourage letting go of small-town myths with humor and compassion.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Gareth (on the rumor):
  “You’re gonna definitely come off as the toe holders.” (23:26)

• Jake (on taking this seriously):
  “If the glove don't fit, you must acquit.” (47:36)

• Tyler (the storyteller):
  “When you find out something is ruined, it really makes you call into question the relationship.” (38:43)

• Stone (on what he wants from feet):
  “I’m looking for…feet that have never been harmed in any way, I suppose…feet that have been bathed in all sorts of lotions and creams. Just a foot that’s been taken care of, you see? And those feet are strong; they're salt of the earth." (76:28–77:03)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Time | Segment | |------------|---------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:44 | Hosts introduce “the saga”/Law & Order theme | | 03:17 | Stone joins, discusses foot fetishes humorously | | 09:52 | Sam shares the rumor and context | | 13:02 | Aaron describes how the rumor made her feel | | 16:46 | Tracing the rumor’s “paper trail”, brainstorming “PI” plans | | 31:08 | Stone evaluates his “pizza slice” of attraction | | 37:40 | Tyler, intermediary, tells the third-hand rumor | | 47:36 | The “toe interlock test” is proposed—‘If the glove don’t fit’ | | 59:34 | Sam & Aaron present their video attempt (Follow-up call) | | 63:00 | Hosts analyze video: giggles, failed toe interlock attempt | | 73:51 | Stone provides final “foot guy” analysis of the video | | 75:49 | Stone: “Refuted. Refuted.” | | 77:40 | Hosts give closing thoughts, read email from source |

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Final Thoughts / Takeaways

• Even the silliest rumor can feel very real and affect reputation in tight-knit communities; trying to trace its source is tricky, and the original “witness” might still cling to what they believe they saw, regardless of evidence.
• The hosts’ advice: approach such situations with humor, openness, and the understanding that you may never “clear your name” to everyone—but you can definitely create a killer podcast episode in the process.
• Gareth sums it up:
  “It feels like everyone has their walking orders. Pardon the pun…thank you for being a part of the wildest call we've had!” (54:16)

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For listeners who missed it: This episode delivers a rollicking, genuine, and hilariously investigative journey through gossip, social anxiety, and absurdity—anchored by sharp wit, empathy, and a willingness to go to extreme (but always comedic) lengths just to help someone out…with their toes.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

Back.

[C]

We got a.

[A]

We got a big one. Gareth, on this, buddy.

[B]

We're. We're living it still.

[A]

So we were just all trying to figure it out. So this is a saga.

[B]

Yeah. This is the call.

[A]

Today gets wild.

[B]

Yeah. You're gonna go through a timeline, as we did in real time, trying to kind of solve a very.

[A]

Yeah. And I'll and tell you as while we're doing this intro, Gareth and I don't know the ending.

[B]

Right. We. We have someone to join us, but we still are in the midst of it. We really.

[A]

When you listen to the episode and you get to like the third quarter of it, just know that's where we currently are right now. We're going to bring one of the stars of it, a big detective helper. Gareth refers to this as our Law and Order episode.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

If it's Law and Order. Really quickly, Gareth, who's who.

[B]

Okay. I will be. You'll be Jerry. What's his Orbach?

[A]

Which one's Jerry Orbach?

[B]

He's kind of the old grizzled guy. Again, not physical. I'm just talking energy.

[A]

Sv. I was thinking svu. Who are you in Shark Tank?

[B]

I don't want to be Robert on svu.

[A]

You're Robert on SVU and I'm Barb. God damn it. All right, so let's bring on the real. Who is it iced tea or iced tea?

[B]

Yeah, iced tea.

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, if you're a fan of our show, you know this man is Stone. And if you're not, I think his name is Stone.

[B]

Yeah. Stone. Are you with us?

[D]

Only as a voice.

[B]

That's.

[A]

That's cool.

[B]

Sounds upset.

[A]

How you doing, Stone?

[D]

I'm doing good. How are you guys?

[A]

Good. So we're not going to get too much into it on this intro because it's a long episode, but we've got something we're gonna show you, and it has to do with feet unprepared. What's going on with you and feet these days, my man? What's the latest?

[D]

I don't know. It's just been good accepting myself for who I am and everything I'm into, I guess.

[A]

How's that love story going on with you and your lady?

[D]

Amazing. We're about to finish our improv class together. Yeah.

[A]

Has the improv class together brought you guys closer?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Do you?

[D]

There's nothing sexier than a girl doing an old man voice in the scene.

[B]

Thanks for the call.

[A]

I don't. I don't agree, man.

[D]

No, no. I'm just kidding about that one.

[A]

Yeah. But is improvising going back to your chart? My king is improvising and being funny. A slice for you,

[D]

I would say. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So when she's funnier, you like. Golly, man. I like her even more.

[D]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[A]

I also like the idea of this idea of. You know what? I'd like a lady to be a boss.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

You know, it's a big old turn on. CEO. Come on, mama.

[B]

Funny. And again, he lost us with the old man voice. But outside of that, I think we embrace the point, which is true.

[A]

It's so what in terms of 10 slices? But I agree with Gareth 100 about the old man voice in an improv. That was kind of gross. It's tough, but you got. You got 10 slices. Is a full one being funny. Now, don't try to be charming for the audience. Don't worry about the comments. Is it a full slice? Two slices? Half a slice. How important is in your sexual desires?

[D]

Oh, sexual.

[A]

I think the wits part of it, it's a turn on.

[D]

I'm gonna have to give it a garlic breadstick side.

[A]

That's the most fair answer I've ever actually had. And I appreciate that.

[B]

I didn't know we were dipping into sides, but go.

[A]

I didn't. But what he did, which I really liked. And this is sometimes what I get mad at you about, Gareth. I get mad about Eric and Steve about catering to the audience. He didn't say, oh, there's going to be a bunch of women, three slices. He goes, oh, sexual. And he goes, I'm not gonna ever on a porn site, Google like funny improv set. And he said, but it is a turn on set for me. So that is, I want garlic knots with my pizza. So, Stone, what we're gonna do now is we're gonna end the intro and then at the end of the episode, we're going to come back to you and the audience is going to see why, but you're going to button the episode with your thoughts on something. So for now, everybody cut that. Please.

[B]

Don't. Let me tell you one thing. I know you love feet, but don't step on Jake's action.

[D]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[A]

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[B]

Hello.

[E]

Hey there.

[B]

Hi. How are you?

[E]

Great. How are you?

[B]

Great. Welcome to the show. Now, we know that we probably have someone else joining us, but let's start here. What is your name, please?

[E]

My name is.

[B]

Okay, Sam. Where are you calling from, Sam?

[E]

Calling from Tennessee.

[B]

Beautiful Tennessee. And how old are you, Sam?

[E]

37.

[B]

37. You've answered all the questions properly, Sam.

[E]

Am I doing well?

[B]

You did crushing. Absolutely crushing. No notes. What's going on, Sam? What can we help you with?

[E]

Well, my wife and I. Hopefully she'll be on in a second. My wife and I have a strange rumor going on around about us.

[B]

A strange rumor?

[E]

A strange rumor.

[B]

Yeah, sure. What? Keep going.

[E]

So we met with some friends relatively recently. We had a nice dinner for the friends, and towards the end of the dinner, our friend said, you know, I heard something interesting about you two. We said, oh. And he said, someone told a friend of ours that they go to the same climbing gym as you. My wife and I like to climb pretty regularly. They said that this person that was at the climbing gym Saw us take our climbing shoes off at the end of the night and interlock toes with one another. Kind of like how. Kind of like how someone would do if they were romantically holding hands down. Down. You know, walking down the sidewalk.

[A]

Weird.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

With your feet and your toes.

[E]

What's that?

[A]

With your toes interlocked. They said you guys did this in like the locker room area.

[E]

Not even the locker room. This is out in the middle of the gym where. Where people kind of swap. There's kind of like some. Some cubbies where you swap your shoes. Yeah, sure.

[A]

Image of it. Yeah. So, Sam, really quickly. This is a hundred percent true.

[E]

This. This story is 100 true. Interlocking our toes is not.

[A]

And so when they told you this. This is great. This is shocking.

[F]

We've got the wife in whenever you

[C]

guys want to bring her in.

[B]

What's her name? Sam.

[E]

Her name is Aaron.

[B]

Aaron.

[A]

Okay. Bring Aaron. Yeah. Unless. Sam, should we wait or should we do it?

[E]

No, no. Bring her in.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Hi.

[B]

Hi. Welcome to the show. We were just talking to Sam, 37 Tennessee.

[A]

But, Aaron, let's just get into it. Will you retell the problem of this one? And I want to hear you say it because maybe we can get another perspective on this insanity.

[E]

Sure. So there's a weird rumor we learned going around a. About us. I don't know what Sam's told you already.

[A]

I know. You just go. I want to hear it all again because maybe there's going to be new info.

[E]

Okay. Well, a friend of ours told us that he had heard a rumor about us, which, like, we are fairly average people, so didn't know what could possibly be going on. And that rumor, he told us, is that someone at our climbing gym spotted us interlacing toes. Like you hold hands palm to palm in this really weird, bizarre, kind of icky way. And the problem is we have never done that and we don't want to be known for doing that. It is not true. And we don't know how far this rumor has spread. Why?

[A]

Same. I would hate this if I were.

[B]

This is not like a thing in the class. The climate community that happens. This is complete fabrication.

[A]

It's also really embarrassing.

[B]

It's not like another couple did this. This is just very.

[A]

I would be really embarrassed if people thought my wife and I held hands with our feet for some reason after class.

[E]

This is exactly why we're calling in Jake.

[A]

Yeah, I get this. I would not want people thinking I did those. Sweaty feet.

[B]

No. Especially after climbing like that is the grossest Time to do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Let's add a little context, which is that these shoes, you know, I don't know if you all have been climbing, but the shoes that you wear are gross, like Gareth just said. But also, like, you're supposed to use at least a size smaller than your street shoes. So your shoes are. Your feet are totally cramped in these tiny shoes. And when you pull your feet out of your tiny shoes, the last thing you would want to do is, like, crack your toes open and interlace them with someone else.

[A]

You know, it's. It's the same kind of heat a belly button gets into. You dig into that belly button, you're gonna find something.

[E]

You're gonna find something.

[A]

You don't want to push open belly buttons with your lover and go, should we just jam these into each other? No. In public, let's pretend we don't have these.

[B]

It is gross. That is disgusting.

[A]

All right, so what did you guys say when the friend told you that?

[E]

Well, we told him we have never done that before.

[A]

Sure.

[E]

And a little embarrassing is when he heard this rumor. He said he wasn't confident enough to debate it.

[A]

Says a lot about you guys.

[B]

You guys have that vibe.

[A]

Says a lot about you guys, I think.

[E]

I think that was one of the more heartbreaking parts of this.

[A]

I believe that. I agreed.

[E]

Yeah. So we said, we haven't done this. We. We don't know why or how. I mean, we don't know this, like, physically possible, you know, I don't even know if it's possible.

[B]

Oh, it's possible. It's definitely possible, but it's probably diff. I mean, Jake works with chimps. He knows the answer. Possible. It's possible.

[A]

By the way, our caller Stone right now has never been harder. And he's. Right now he's about to faint because there's no blood in his body besides his genitals, and he's going, I don't have a foot fetish. And he passes out.

[C]

Should I try to get him on the line?

[B]

My God. At least for the end, we can just reach out. What's going on? Oh, yeah, reach out. Put the feelers out.

[A]

I'm not interested at all. Can I see photos of that, please? Yeah.

[B]

Let me see what they're saying.

[A]

I'm not interested at all. Boobs are the. They're the sauce. Oh, your feet are interle.

[B]

Boss is still.

[A]

Okay. So, Sam and Aaron, there was a rumor. I agree. One of the worst parts about it is that your friend went like, yeah, I wasn't sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But you guys said to that friend. That's not true. Did you say to the friend, which would have been my question. Who told you this?

[E]

Yes. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay. So you know. Okay. And who told you this?

[E]

Yeah, So a mutual friend. We have our friends who told us this. One of their friends works at a bakery, and apparently when they're needing bread or killing time or whatever at this bakery, they gossip about people in town.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

What else are they going to do?

[E]

That is where this rumor came up. One of the people who works at the bakery also goes to our climbing gym, who we never met, by the way.

[A]

We.

[E]

We did not know this person really even existed, which makes it that much stranger they knew our names.

[A]

Well, because what's happening here, guys. What's happening, guys, is somebody started this, and it's spreading, and it's no longer malicious. There was when I was in junior high, there was a guy named Andy, and I'm not going to say his last name. That a rumor spread that he used to put peanut butter on his genitals and his dog would lick it off. We've all heard of this kid, to God. I was in my late 20s, and somebody said somebody at their school did that. And I went, oh, somebody did it at mine. And then we both went, oh, my God, that poor kid didn't do that.

[B]

It's like the kid who climbed the fence and lost the testicle. That kid existed in every generation, in every town for us.

[A]

One ball, Kevin.

[B]

Yeah, the kid who had the one ball, he tried to get in the

[E]

pool late at night.

[B]

Now he's got one less ball.

[A]

It happened when he was a kid. So, yeah, I never brought it up to him, but I knew the kid. I knew Kevin who had one testicle, but I never talked to him about it.

[B]

Same with peanut butter, though. Yeah, it's just such an easy, slanderous statement.

[A]

It's so crazy, but it's true.

[E]

You know, most of those. Most of those happen again when you're, like, in middle school or elementary school. I think you've confirmed that I am 37. It's a weird time to be trying to put out rumor.

[A]

It never happens at 37.

[B]

You know, this is what I think I Do you think this is born out of thin air, Jake? Because I feel like it's another couple does this.

[A]

I. That's what I. I think it's a misunderstanding.

[B]

I do, too. I think there's a couple that does this, and you have been cast as that couple. But there's a Real person out there's the one armed man is out there.

[A]

But here's what I really think we need to do, guys. And it's going to be even more embarrassing at first, but in the end it's going to solve the problem in my opinion. My opinion.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

I think we're going to have to engage with the community and I think what we're going to have to do is this call is going to be in parts. I think next we have to have you two and the mutual friend. Then that mutual friend, the person who told them they're going to have to reach out to. We're going to have to do a follow up with them too. Yes. We need to trace it to the original person, get them on a call with us and go, who told you? And then they're going to go, I saw it with my own eyes at that point. Sam and Aaron, you will. We will. You have not have been on. Then you get on and you say hi, we're here too. And then we might have to. You send a photo and they go like this, that's not them. And you go, so what you saw was a couple interlocked their toes like chimp hands, but it wasn't us. And they'll go, I'm sorry. And we'll say would you like a Steve Berg calendar?

[B]

That's going to be the solution to a lot of this stuff going forward for anyone listening, by the way.

[A]

But what do you guys think of paper trail?

[E]

Well, we know, I think we know who started it.

[A]

Oh you do?

[E]

Like I think.

[B]

Okay, so what she started. Do you think she saw Ms. Saw or do you think she's just trying to sour your, your, your name?

[E]

Oh, I have no idea.

[A]

You guys don't know her to our gym.

[E]

We, we know who she is now and she goes to the gym. We, we know what her tattoo looks like. So we can always pick that out when she's out there.

[A]

What does her tattoo look like?

[E]

Oh, it's two feet. Anonymity here.

[A]

Nice. Jesse.

[E]

We can pick her out. Like she's at our gym all the time. So now it's kind of like does she know that we know? Do other people at the gym. No.

[B]

Do we want to have them do a little recon and talk to anyone who works at the gym and asks if they know who the toe holders are? Because then if we did that and if, because I believe there are toeholders. So I think that if we found out who the toe holders were we could potentially get some insight into that. So that when. If we get a woman to talk to us on the show, we could say, we understand that you believe there's toe holders. But our two friends over here are not.

[A]

So Sam and Aaron going off of that pitch, which I think is also strong. Would you guys be willing to walk around the gym and go, hey, have you seen a couple linking toes after work?

[B]

Or what if we just put a couple signs up? Are you the toe holders?

[A]

Not like though. Not like that, no.

[B]

Yeah. Right.

[A]

But close to that. Hi. What doing? Working on a fun creative project.

[B]

This flyer just got jaked up at the best way.

[E]

Looking for a couple with flexible toes

[A]

that can interlock them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Some say impossible.

[E]

I can see this not helping our reputation. If we're walking around.

[A]

Don't do that. You guys will look like you're swingers and looking for weird.

[B]

You're gonna definitely come off as the toe holders.

[A]

I would go like this. I don't care what they say. They're perverts and they're looking for others. Get them out of the gym. Hey, doing a creative project. Can you link your toes with me and my partner?

[B]

It's a lot of pineapples on that flyer.

[A]

Exactly. We're gonna go on a cr. A bunch of people with weird long toes. Get out of here. I also don't know why. On my Instagram.

[E]

Talk about it.

[A]

Yeah, it gets worse.

[E]

The more we talk about it, the more we protest, the more guilty we seem.

[A]

It's true.

[E]

That's the problem that we're having.

[B]

So that's why I would start here. I would talk to someone who works at the gym. I would. We don't need to get like too fletchy in this, but why not go up to them and say, hey, which. Do you know if there's a couple here that holds toes that people think it's us, do you just ring a bell? Start there. See if you get anything off of that.

[A]

Or start going at different times that you usually do. Watch. Well, try to find a couple private investigators.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A couple that looks like you. And then at the end, don't go near them. Give them space to do their weird stuff. If they do it, snap a photo.

[B]

I mean, a hundred percent photo if you can.

[A]

And then you could go to the bakery and go, hey. Aha.

[B]

That'll be done on the show. That last part will be done.

[A]

You've got to do it like Colombo. I heard you've been talking. One more thing. Does this look like us?

[B]

Yeah, kinda.

[A]

Yeah. Because you didn't get the faces.

[B]

Well, it isn't.

[A]

Well, it was far away and I was nervous.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Because I people thought I was a toe pervert. I didn't want to get caught taking a photo of other toe perverts.

[B]

My thumb was over part of the screen. But that's not my wife and I. Enough.

[A]

And then she says in the bakery, I don't feel comfortable with me show you coming in here and showing me photos of. Okay, so you're doing the thing.

[B]

Well, we're crazy. Yeah.

[A]

This is one more thing.

[B]

A Danish. So

[A]

Sam, Aaron, we have two paths.

[B]

It's a hard one.

[A]

Both I think will succeed. Do you want to find the toe people on your own through PI work? Not through signage. Less throws, less from asking around. Because you guys don't want to be the perverts asking everybody about this. But really subtle PI work. You're going to different times. You're going alone. You're looking for couples that are close to maybe being mistaken for you guys. And you're looking for the aha moment. That's a long play. If you get it, big win. The problem is, is once you get it, then what? Then you've got to go to the girls bakery and go like. And you also don't want to have this interaction with the girls. The bakery. Hey, you know how you spread a rumor about us?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

It wasn't us. It was them. I took photos of them. And she goes like, okay. Can I help you? I'm working.

[B]

I do want that moment.

[A]

Yeah, I know, but it's not good for Sam and Aaron.

[B]

I want that. I want her to call the show to have that moment on air. That's what I want.

[A]

That'd be a great moment.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Now, the other player, by the way, I gave that a negative pitch at the end, but I am still sold. That could work. The other play is the mutual friend goes to distinct tattoo. Or you give distinct tattoo a letter saying Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. And we're here to help. Would love to chat to you about a funny issue on their podcast. You could look up their podcast. They asked me to give this to you, and then we talked to her without you guys. The follow up is we bring you

[B]

all together and you clear your name publicly.

[A]

But first we get her story.

[E]

Right. This feels like a good combo. We do a little PI work.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

If we're on whether. Whether we. Whether we come across exculpatory evidence or not, we.

[A]

If you get the evidence, it helps us for that follow up anyhow.

[E]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Because then we could present to her the photo.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Right. We'll be like, you haven't seen us at the gym in a while because we got kicked out for taking photos of people's feet. But you might remember us.

[A]

No, you like this. We got kicked out for masturbating while looking at the photos we took of people's feet.

[B]

Press or the sauce

[A]

interlactoso. The sauce.

[B]

Now, do we want them to say this is about the toe holding?

[A]

No, Gareth, but it's gonna be. Stop.

[C]

It's gonna.

[E]

It might be a little obvious. This is the. Literally the only connection we have to this person.

[A]

Yeah. So no way. No way. You don't bring up that. Because then she knows harder.

[B]

I just picture you handing that her something that's like, email this show, but

[A]

you write it in a way. Fun light. I don't want to say, like, bubble letters, but this idea of, like, this is.

[B]

The more I hear this, the more I think you want to add a little toehold to it. Tell me why this? Because otherwise it's like, hey, call this podcast. That's sort of like, meet me in this parking lot. Like, I think it would be better if you were just like, hey, it's us, the toe holders.

[A]

Insane.

[E]

No, Gareth, they're not the toe holders.

[A]

This is what I mean. You're off, my brother. Hey, it's us, the pervert.

[B]

All right?

[A]

Each other with our toes, you weirdo.

[B]

You. And the bakery girl. A letter. What does it say?

[A]

It says, hi. We know how weird this is. We're doing something kind of fun slash silly. Nice little words with the podcast.

[B]

Sounds like a Torgy. This sounds like she's getting invited.

[A]

Here's a torgy. Hey, we're the toe couple.

[B]

Yeah, I. I'm not loving mine, but

[A]

I'm saying so then I would go. We're doing something really similar funny with the podcast. We're here to help. If you've never heard it, check it out. It's really fun. Anyway, it's. You're involved in the story we're doing. Indirectly, possibly. And the guys asked if you would be interested in getting more information from them.

[B]

Why?

[A]

This is all just gonna be. We're trying to get to the bot something.

[B]

I agree. You're closer than I was. Why don't.

[A]

Hey, this is the toe people.

[B]

So I regret it. We all regret that moment. Why don't we have them talk to the Mutual and extend the olive branch to call the show?

[A]

But. So Mutual hands the letter to Baker.

[B]

Mutual just offers and just Goes, hey, will you call? You know, all the stuff you're.

[A]

So then we need to talk to Mutual. Sam, Aaron, can you text Mutual right now and see if they can get on?

[B]

Oh,

[E]

Aaron, you want to text? Get on the podcast?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Call right now.

[B]

Climb the wall.

[A]

Hey, we just finished a workout. Let's take off these tiny shoes and interlock toes.

[B]

Get these toes together now.

[E]

Now we're talking.

[F]

Just now, guys, to be aware that we have Stone in the waiting room whenever you want.

[A]

Bring Stone in.

[F]

Should I bring Stone in now?

[B]

Funny that his name's Stone too.

[A]

Okay, I'll set this up, Gareth.

[B]

Yeah, you better.

[A]

Good luck. Yeah. What's up, Stone? Hey, how you doing, Stone?

[C]

Speaker. Hey, what's up?

[A]

Everything good with you guys?

[C]

Need my help?

[A]

Yeah, we do. Everything good with you? Yeah.

[E]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, yeah, we know you don't have a foot fetish, brother.

[B]

That's clear.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

I don't know, man.

[E]

What do you mean?

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

I think. I think I've come to terms with a lot of things and I don't know. I think I. I think I do. I just don't like the word fetish.

[A]

Okay, walk us through what's been happening. This just turned into your follow up. So you got a foot thing, my king?

[E]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah, like a minor one.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. Lose the term fetish. You think feet are sexy? They're the sauce.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So if it's a pizza.

[C]

Since our last call, I've had my feet in many a pie.

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

Well, I'm just dating someone now, so.

[B]

Yeah, okay, but.

[A]

So you put her foot in her pie.

[B]

Many a pie. Yeah.

[A]

What does that mean?

[C]

Well, I was just trying to be eloquent, you know?

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Classy.

[A]

But you've leaned into. In your relationship. You're like, I like defeat.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I've accepted it. I've dabbled. Dabbled with the pads, you know.

[B]

With the what?

[E]

Pads. The feet.

[B]

Oh, you've dabbled with the pads.

[A]

Oh, like you thought it was toes, but it's pads you're into. That's shocking. Yeah, I didn't think anybody liked it.

[E]

I'm sorry.

[C]

You guys wanted me for something, right?

[A]

Yeah, but this is important.

[B]

So really quickly, I think this call might really. Yeah, to Jake's point earlier, you might. You might be reaching for the pads.

[A]

Yeah. So Stone, really fast, really quickly. And Sam and Aaron, sorry, we're getting to this. We hope you're texting and reaching out to that friend of Yours. Seeing if we can get them on. But it stone really fast. If you got a slice of pizza, you got eight slices, and this is about your desires. How many slices are feet?

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

At least one.

[E]

For sure.

[C]

least a devote. Yeah, I'd say.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, there's a lot more I like about a woman than just sure.

[A]

All right, so give me the breakdown. What are. What are the. Your slices.

[C]

Okay, so one is feet. So we have seven left.

[A]

Correct.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Face. Can't forget the face. Because that's. That's classy to remember that.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

How many slices are face?

[C]

Definitely two.

[A]

Okay, so now I'm gonna go.

[C]

Let's just get rid of six slices here. Two for face, two for boobs, two for butt, and I guess one for the personality. And we can send that pie off.

[B]

Nobody wants to eat it, but that's a solid breakdown.

[A]

So you've got.

[B]

Nobody's eating your toe pie, kid.

[A]

You are sexually attracted. And I agree. Actually, personality is part of it. They pretend it's not for men, but it actually is.

[B]

Oh, of course.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Personality is right. Not right. You can get the ick.

[A]

And then I. I agree.

[B]

Well, then she's not going to let you sniff her sneakers.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. So you got one slice for personality, one for feet, two for face, two for boobs, two for butt. You know what's happened to you, Stone, since last we talked in this new relationship of yours? I think you grew up a little bit young man. This feels. This feels like a normal pizza,

[B]

honestly.

[A]

Damn it.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[F]

No.

[A]

Hey, Stone. Welcome.

[C]

You mean my. My Hollywood icon Jake Johnson just told me I'm a normal pizza?

[A]

You're. You know. And I say that as a thing. Stone, you're growing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is a normal pizza. You didn't say anything like boobs are the sauce. But that's. Now. Now we got your bag. We followed up. Happy to do it. We miss you. We hope you're doing great in life. Here's where we're at. Sam and Aaron, will you guys tell Stone what's happening? Yeah.

[E]

Okay. Stone.

[C]

Oh, nice to meet you, by the way.

[E]

Nice to meet you, by the way. Stone, Sam. Good to meet you. We have a friend who told us that we live in kind of a smaller city, the kind where you run into people, you know, all the time. A friend of ours told us that. That he heard a rumor going on around us wherein my wife and I were seen interlocking bare feet. Interlocking toes in the middle of our climbing gym that we attend Every.

[A]

Every week.

[E]

It's not true. Oh, man. It's infuriatingly low stakes rumor. But it is. But it is. But it's clearly spread. Yeah.

[A]

Can I ask you a quick question really fast?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

What do you like about the pads? What's sexy about.

[E]

You know, it's like salt of the earth.

[C]

They, like. They generate the friction to propel you on your day. You know, they're. They're the strengths.

[A]

I agree. I respect the foot pad, but sexually, what are you doing with it?

[D]

It.

[A]

You just look at it. Yeah. Don't put your dick on it. I hope.

[B]

Well, what are you doing?

[A]

Footpad.

[C]

It's got all.

[E]

It's.

[C]

It's the friction giver.

[A]

Oh, foot jobs.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. Okay, so Jake, I have the source in the waiting room.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

This call is enormous.

[A]

So, Stone, just. Just keep up. You're gonna see what happens here, Stone.

[B]

And keep your hands where you can see him, pal. You're about to hear a lot of footsteps.

[E]

He is in an airport. So the sound.

[A]

But also, Stone, really fast. If you're getting foot jobs, it's than one slice, brother. We're going to talk about that later.

[B]

Yeah, that's okay.

[A]

All right. And what's this? Sam. What's this person's name?

[F]

Or.

[A]

Aaron.

[E]

Tyler.

[A]

Tyler.

[E]

Yeah. Tyler.

[A]

Okay, let's bring Tyler on. I'll. I'll start us. Gareth.

[B]

Yeah, please.

[A]

Hey. Hey. Tyler.

[F]

Yes.

[A]

Hey, it's Jake Johnson. Gareth Stone. Sam and Aaron, thank you for joining us. We got a quick question for you and we need a little bit of help from you.

[C]

Is this a train call show? Is this what is happening right now?

[A]

Is this what, crank?

[E]

Yeah, it's now. It's very much crank. No, it's not a prank.

[C]

This is real.

[E]

You're on a podcast, pal.

[A]

Tyler, you. Well, you are on a podcast. That's not a. We'll see about that. You will hear this, but the question to you is, was there a situation that happened at a bakery where somebody told you a rumor about Sam and Aaron?

[F]

Yes.

[A]

Will you tell us?

[C]

It was the most. One of the most troubling stories I've heard in my life.

[B]

Go there.

[C]

When you know people. As long as I've known Sam and Aaron, you think that you know every nook and cranny of their life. And so when you find out something is ruined, this is this. It really makes you call him a question about relationship.

[B]

Let him emote.

[A]

Yeah. Do not get mad at Tyler.

[B]

Yeah? This is a safe space.

[C]

If I'm on a podcast If I'm. If I'm on a podcast, I'm going to soak up every millisecond of this airtime.

[A]

So I regret this.

[E]

I regret this already.

[C]

So what I know to be true is this. There's a bakery in Knoxville. I don't know if you want me naming names, which I will do happily. And there are some people that work at this bakery that know the Knoxville community.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And because they care. This is a community space, so they care about the people and what they're doing in the community.

[A]

I like what you're doing here.

[C]

Well, as it happens is one of these wonderful, trustworthy bakers was at a climbing gym in Knoxville and loves Sam. And Aaron, has so much respect for them, which is what makes what she saw so troubling. She was finishing up her routes and looked over and saw Sam and Aaron with their bare feet out from their sweaty ass climbing shoes. And what they were doing was they were interlocking their toes, trying to sort of simulate the hand holding intimacy of a normal person or a normal couple. And instead they were squirming their little piggies.

[A]

Hey, really fast. Stone. Stone. Hold on. Tyler.

[B]

Tyler, we have a foot fetishist on the. On the line. Real quick.

[A]

How hard are you, brother?

[B]

Harder than stone.

[E]

Crystal.

[A]

Diamond. You're cutting diamonds. King. We got three out of the eight slices. All right, keep going, Tyler.

[C]

No, I think. I think we've laid into the plate.

[A]

Okay, Tyler, I need to. I need to ask you a real question. Now,

[C]

was that not a real question? I mean, I am plumbing.

[A]

Tyler, Tyler, Tyler. Now we. We. Now we gotta cut the socks off. And look at these feet. Did you start this rumor to mess with salmon, Aaron? No.

[C]

A hundred thousand percent.

[A]

You swear? So who started it? Who told you this? Because now I know you're a funny guy. And Gareth and I prank our friends once.

[C]

What I will say is this. What I will say is this. I'm getting this information third hand, my friend. Well, I don't know third foot. What are you guys into?

[A]

Yeah. Stones and defeat.

[B]

Yeah, that's half the pie.

[A]

He likes to get foot jobs because the pads are the friction of earth.

[C]

This baker told my friend, who's also a baker, what they witnessed and were troubled by. And this close, trustworthy friend told us, okay? So I swear on my life, I did not make this up.

[A]

All right? So, Tyler, here's what I need from you. If you're willing to. Yes.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Okay, I need you to go to the baker who told you and ask them if they would be willing to talk to us on the podcast. All for fun, but it's clearing your name. So right now you're the accused. So we just got to get you to go to the person who told you and say, no one's in trouble, bro, but will you talk to them?

[C]

But you will be the accused until we.

[A]

But I want to get to. Here's what I believe happened, Tyler. Either this whole thing is just you guys doing a little prank and trying to get on a podcast. God bless, which I don't believe, and I hope it's not, or two, somebody either saw people interlocking toes and mistaked it for Sam or Aaron, or two decided to just say, those two are weird and I'm making up a rumor. Either way, I think we owe it to America. And one guy in another country. Greenland, actually. Unfortunately.

[B]

Yeah, closer than we thought. Wow. I haven't even had a moment to reflect on the twist of faith for a Greenland fan.

[A]

Well, we got some fans in the Philippines and they want to know the truth too. So, Tyler, I'm Philippe.

[C]

Yeah, I'm sure they do.

[A]

You are Stone.

[B]

That's.

[C]

Yeah, half. I'm a hop.

[A]

No way. What's the other half?

[B]

Foot.

[C]

It's some white guy.

[E]

I don't know.

[A]

So you're four slices of Caucasian, four slices of Filipino.

[C]

Yes, sir.

[A]

That's a nearly perfect mix. King,

[B]

that was the greatest little moment. Off to the side.

[C]

This is you guys?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. I thought this was just Sam and Aaron and their weird ass friends.

[A]

Well, it kind of is, in a way.

[C]

Jake and Gareth.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Hi, Tyler.

[C]

I thought this would be some weird little freaky thing. Well, it was like national, baby.

[A]

You know what, Tyler? More than national, we got like three people in the Philippines.

[B]

King and a Greenland guy.

[A]

And Stones, half Filipino.

[C]

Here's what it troubles me. What we have not considered in your

[A]

scenario you weren't supposed to talk about.

[C]

Him and Aaron were doing this freaky little thing. So you are coming here believing

[B]

we believe that.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

Tyler, you don't call a show if this.

[A]

Sure you do. Tyler, haven't you ever watched Colombo?

[B]

Yes, we talked about Columbo.

[A]

One more thing.

[B]

Yeah, but what?

[A]

I got footage of Sam and Aaron doing the weirdest thing that only Stone would masturbate to.

[B]

We were very close.

[C]

I didn't even know you could do that.

[A]

Agreed. Chimps can.

[B]

Don't open that can of worms for Stone.

[A]

Hey, Stone, do you think chimpanzees feet are sexy?

[E]

I think.

[A]

Whose feet chimpanzees Chimp feet.

[C]

No. God no.

[A]

Okay, moving on. Zero slices.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So Taylor, tell Tyler. Tell us what you're about to say, bud.

[C]

Who knows? Who knows, brother?

[A]

I'll make.

[C]

I'll make a deal with you guys.

[A]

Please.

[C]

Now that I know that this has some legs.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[C]

Some feet to it.

[A]

I will.

[C]

Are we trying about like getting in touch like in real time? Like in this moment.

[A]

We can do a follow up.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

We know you're at the airport.

[C]

I. I think that can happen.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

As long as Sam and Aaron admit that since this came out they've experimented a little bit.

[E]

They've.

[C]

They.

[A]

Great. Questioned what would this feel like now?

[F]

Admit.

[A]

Great.

[C]

They went into the corners of their freaky little home and took out their wiggly little pig leaves.

[A]

Hold on. Sam, we want exact truth now. Sam and Aaron.

[E]

I. I think this call got away from me. Have you happening anymore?

[A]

Sam and Aaron. Now. Now let's cut the. Since this has happened, have you guys ever at home experimented and even seen if you could interlock toes?

[E]

Thank you. No, 100%. We genuinely have not.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

And. And I'm not here to. I'm not here to yuck people's yum. Like I have no problem with people.

[A]

We.

[B]

We have someone who yums it on the line right now. Honestly.

[E]

But you guys.

[A]

But Sam, But Sam and Aaron, you guys have. Have you ever even touched toes? Not accidentally but like let's just see if this feels good. We need the truth now. Cuz guys, we can't live in at all anymore. The only way we're going to get to the bottom of this, we need to live in Tyler's reality. And that's the truth.

[B]

Truth.

[C]

Thank you.

[E]

We've not touched. Touched toes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Would you have stone venmoed you a thousand dollars?

[A]

Here's what I honestly think we need to do. Honest to God. Here's what I think we need to do this. It's gonna seem like I'm making a joke, but I'm not.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Sam and Aaron, I need you guys to try to interlock toes and take a photo. And here's why. If the glove don't fit, you must equip it.

[B]

I don't hate it. I don't hate it.

[A]

Because what if their toes can't do it?

[B]

I think we should do this is what I think we should do. It's a two pronger.

[F]

Thank you.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

We.

[E]

There's.

[C]

There's something factual here.

[A]

Let's get proof. Trying to interlock the toes.

[B]

Let's get video of that. And then, Tyler, if you could trace back one person, and let's present that evidence on the show to the one

[C]

person back, because then this. This baker can say, is this what she saw?

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

No.

[C]

Absolutely not. Yes, That's. That's exactly what it looks like.

[A]

You know, exactly. Cuz here's what. Here's what we will do. Here's what we will do. If she says yes, you know what we're going to actually do? Pay for a lie detector test.

[B]

I will.

[E]

I will take it.

[C]

I will take.

[A]

I will. Gareth and I will pay. The reason we have a show fund that we hold on to is I will find. We will. I'm sorry. Our producers will find a polygraph expert in Knoxville, and you guys will all go, and we'll film the whole thing. We'll send. We'll fly Kyle down to film it, and we will get to the bottom of this. Okay? Because this matters. And if you're all liars and it's a prank, you just wasted a lot of time.

[B]

A lot of time.

[C]

This is real.

[E]

We will pass.

[A]

Okay, great. So then if you pass it, then the baker will fail.

[E]

It.

[A]

It. So what we're asking everybody do is it's time to get real. So, Sam and Aaron, what we need from you. And it is uncomfortable, it's not cool. No one's happy about it, but this is a trial. Stone is for sure. Three slices. Yeah.

[C]

I think we also need to be thinking about the consequence of all of it.

[A]

You're totally right. We can't. Tyler, we can't do that now because we got to get the baker in the boat with us.

[C]

It's true. They can't come in defensive.

[A]

Yeah, we got to get. We got to get all. Everybody on the boat, and then we'll side whose head gets cut off.

[C]

So I want to know what's happening in this little baker's mind. What are they doing back there behind the counter with their feet?

[A]

All the right questions, King.

[C]

There is a whole. There's a whole universe here that I think we're just.

[A]

It's called spin off, brother. So. And I'm scared. America's scared. The only people aren't scared are people in Greenland.

[B]

And Stone.

[A]

Stone is scared he's gonna die of a heart attack.

[B]

Stone is good. He's gonna run.

[A]

He's gonna sweat to death.

[C]

I'm sweating.

[A]

Been.

[C]

Been silently, furiously listening, quote, unquote.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. So, Sam and Aaron, here's what we need from you. Will you Film you guys trying to interlock toes then.

[E]

I hate this so much.

[A]

We all agree. We all hate it. Then you need to send it in. Stone, here's what we need from you. We watch the footage to make sure

[C]

that it's not A.I. i get you.

[F]

I got it.

[A]

But will you. Will you watch the footage and then honestly tell us if it does anything? You. And how many slices it turned you on? If you loved it, will you do the same thing with your girlfriend and see if it's a hot thing? Agreed, but we're going to do it in phases. So Sam and Aaron, we need the footage. Then the footage comes to us. We are going to send the footage to Stone. Then Stone either make a voice note or call in again, give a breakdown to that. Then Tyler, what we need from you do is to start talking to the baker and get them involved and say, you know, it's a lot of fun, but it's now bigger than we thought it was.

[C]

There are lives on the line here.

[A]

There's no way out. Worst case scenario, there's no way out. Here's the reality. Yeah. We might literally have a crew that shows up at the bakery.

[C]

So either participate and that would be appropriate.

[A]

You got. You might get ambushed. And if you get ambushed, it's never a good look. It'll look like. Like Joey Greco from Cheaters the Goat. I'll do it in a better.

[C]

We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way, but we will find the truth.

[A]

And what's going to happen is there's going to be a polygraph at some point or we can just all start getting real. Is everybody clear on what we're doing? Is everybody. Is everybody willing to participate?

[E]

All right, here's. Here's my suggestion. If we're doing this, we do this

[C]

as real as it gets happening. Sam, this is.

[B]

This is.

[E]

This is.

[A]

But, Sam, keep going because your instincts are right. We got to get away from the silliness we got.

[E]

Right? So that means that we start with our climbing shoes on our feet jammed into these. Into these shoes for.

[A]

Correct.

[E]

An hour. Right?

[C]

Maybe you take a climb.

[A]

Maybe you take a climb. Maybe you just. Maybe just try it at the gym. Hiker.

[C]

That's how we're away from the silliness.

[A]

Yeah. Yes. No, but you're right, Sam. You're. You're 100% right. Make the feet as crinkly and gross as they get. After climbing, keep your shoes on. When you leave, go right home. Take your shoes off there and do the test deal.

[E]

Okay. What if we're good at it? Hey, and what if she says that's what she said.

[A]

Then you have a career. But then you know what? Then you have a career. Who said that?

[B]

Tyler Stone?

[C]

No, I would never say that.

[A]

Stone said, then you have a career.

[E]

Oh, Stone's paying.

[A]

You would make so much money.

[C]

I don't put money anymore, by the way.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

You know, know what's really funny? If the video is really out, we'll create an only fans with one video and you guys get all the proceeds.

[B]

It's only fans.

[A]

We'll give part of the proceeds to the chip sanctuary and you guys get the rest. We'll adopt. We'll adopt two chips with this.

[B]

The government might take this show's Internet away.

[A]

Okay, so Sam and Aaron, if you're good at it, then we're going to cross the bridge. If she says, then we're going to hire a lie detector. Your test.

[B]

Seriously?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. So no matter what, we're not going to stop on this until we get to the ending.

[E]

Okay. I knew I just count on you.

[A]

This is. This is huge.

[B]

I mean it feels like everyone has their walking orders. Pardon the pun. So let's go off make these things happen. We'll be in touch and we'll go from there. And by the way, thank you for being a part of the wildest call I think we've had head for sure,

[E]

baby.

[A]

This is an all time favorite.

[B]

This is insane.

[A]

All time favorite. First, this is in that top five category.

[E]

Hell yeah.

[A]

Really quickly before we go. Everyone's got their marching orders. Let's be really honest for a second, Stone, because I don't think you are honest with your pizza slices. We're just talking about sexual desire now. Now we're not talking about you as a well rounded person. So you're not going to Google on you porn personality traits.

[C]

Ah, yeah.

[A]

What are your slices?

[E]

Three boobs, three butts,

[C]

one feet and some garlic knots. And then last slice,

[E]

Neck.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right, everybody, thanks for joining us.

[A]

Thank you for your honesty.

[C]

That was the most troubling.

[A]

Guys.

[C]

That's the most troubling.

[B]

Booms. Three butts

[A]

Martian. Everybody move on. Stone, I. I like that. And I actually agree with the slice and neck.

[B]

All right, we gotta go see everybody.

[E]

Love y'.

[A]

All. Love y'.

[E]

All.

[A]

Jesus Christ. This episode has been brought to you by Wayfair. Wayfair is a place that has a bunch of different stuff to sell at discounted rates. I just bought of those robot vacuums from them. I found it online and I found it on Wayfair for $200 cheaper. And I don't see a quality difference. And I'm really into robot vacuums.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Oh, we love Squarespace. We use Squarespace on the show. I use Squarespace in my real life life. All my websites, I have a bunch of them. They've been doing it for a long time. I've been working with Squarespace for a while because they are the best. It's how you build your own brand. They give you all the tools. They also give you ways to showcase what you're offering to people so that when people come to the website, they go, oh, whoa, this person's legitimate. So my personal website, garethreynolds.com Squarespace my film giveitupfilm.com Squarespace space every. Everything is Squarespace. They have it all. They just keep growing and getting better because they know they're dominating and they know they're the only place to go. So they keep offering everything.

[A]

So go to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code. Gil sent me to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or a domain. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see. See it. Unfortunately, big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping my money, too. After years of overpaying for wireless, I finally got fed up with crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees, and free perks that actually cost more in the long run. And I switched to Mint Mobile.

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Mobile for details shop [e-mail] here to help. That's mint mobile.com hereto to help.

[B]

Hello.

[E]

Oh, hello.

[B]

Hello.

[E]

Hi.

[B]

Hi. So there's two of you. We know you're a follow up. Can we get your names? And then we'll just get into what the first call was and where we're at.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Sam here and Aaron. We are your couple that was accused of intertwining our pose.

[A]

Yes, the rock climbers. Okay. So we then recommended you make a video where your feet intertwined to see if you can even do it. Right. Right.

[E]

That's right. And originally we were like, okay, if we're going to do this, we're going to do it scientifically and we're going to wear climbing shoes for like an hour beforehand so that our feet are really cramped.

[A]

Gross.

[E]

But what we. We ended up just like, we put it off for so long because it was so uncomfortable, and we finally did it without climbing shoes. It was already so difficult that we decided that that was probably enough without us trying it.

[A]

Yeah, it's good to know real quick. How did it go?

[E]

Terrible.

[A]

Terrible.

[B]

Jake, this.

[A]

Oh, we got a video. I can't wait to see this video.

[B]

I can't either. So it's.

[E]

It's long, so I think I'm gonna

[B]

play it at, like, double speed.

[F]

I should also say we have Tyler in the waiting room, and he hasn't seen it yet. So I'm wondering if who's.

[A]

And Tyler is the guy who started the rumor and.

[F]

No, he's the friend who's the connective tissue.

[E]

Let us know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Connective tissue, which is what Sam has in between his toes.

[A]

Well, let's bring. I mean, do we bring Tyler in, too?

[F]

I think he's gonna have to watch it.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

You know, unless you want to watch it twice.

[A]

No, no, no. Let's bring Tyler in. Well, well, well, well. Yeah, I forgot about Tyler.

[B]

Honestly, I did, too. Last time we talked to Tyler, he was at an airport. Just.

[A]

Just. I thought we were just Meeting Tyler. I know. Yeah. Tyler, how you doing, pal?

[F]

Good to be back, boys. Good to be back.

[B]

Tyler, I don't remember if we got you there, but where are you on whether or not beautiful. Look at you. Imagine.

[A]

Hello, Tyler.

[B]

Tyler, you're a must for it.

[F]

And you got it, baby.

[B]

And we're very happy. You're easy on the eyes. Where are you on. Do you think that they are the toe minglers?

[F]

I know a lot of jokes have been shared. A lot of laughs. I think. I don't think they were, if I'm going to be very honest. All jokes aside, I think this would be a lot of hullabaloo to go through.

[A]

Agree. If they would rather admit it, but let's do this right now. Gareth, I wish you didn't ask that question because it does take away a little bit of the fireworks show we're about to present.

[C]

We're not live.

[A]

Can we now watch the video that Sam and Aaron made where they're trying to put their feet together as best they can?

[F]

And this is what I've been waiting for. There's Ruby, the dog.

[A]

Their feet are going together. They are pushing. They are giggling.

[F]

And what the audience can't see. This fits like a glove.

[A]

No, it doesn't. It doesn't. So what the audience can't see, it's Tyler's line, is the toes. Because of Sam's feet, his toes don't stretch at all.

[B]

They can't intertwine like they're tied together.

[A]

Okay. Gross. I think. Terrible.

[F]

This is tough.

[B]

I think I've unlocked a fetish.

[E]

Are we able to, like, openly apologize to everyone who watches this?

[A]

Let's pause, please. Pause it. Please. Stop it. Thank you. First of all, putting it in double speed was more than I expected.

[B]

Yeah. The giggles sounded smurfy.

[A]

And how fast.

[E]

I don't remember how long the video is. I think it's like at least 10 minutes trying. Right. It was three minutes, but that feels

[F]

like a long time.

[B]

When you're just watching two toes not puzzled together, it feels like mashed together.

[A]

Jake only made it through a minute and a half.

[F]

Half.

[E]

So can I also point out that I think just our dog's reaction alone really seals the deal that. That we have never done this.

[A]

Okay. And so.

[F]

And I will say another thing I know about Sam. I think he's clocking in at about size seven feet, maybe six and a half.

[A]

Small feet.

[F]

We love them.

[E]

Well, we just, you know, we didn't have big scientifically. Yeah.

[F]

It would have made sense for Sam's little toes to be able to slot in some way there, as far as I'm concerned.

[A]

Yeah. But let me, Let me, Let me get to this now. So we've now seen the video. We know Sam and Aaron's toes do not work where fine. Yeah, they don't inter.

[F]

They don't work together, which is a different podcast, and you guys can figure that out.

[A]

I agree. But where are we at now with Tyler, the person who told. Told you.

[F]

Yeah. So I know that I failed.

[B]

I had.

[F]

I had a big duty here. And boys, I tried. I tried to get him here. I tried to get him into the court of law.

[A]

And they were gonna come on the show.

[F]

Yes. This was the assignment we were trying to get my friend and the original source on.

[A]

Right.

[F]

And we got a little spooked. Didn't. Oh, weren't really you.

[A]

Can you explain to us what happened

[F]

in terms of them saying you bring

[A]

how you brought it up. What happened?

[F]

I started with my friend, and so, you know, the person I heard it from, and she thought it was. This is great. You know, there's. There's a story here. What's going on? Let's find the truth together. Was down the clown. I sort of, like, I didn't want to kind of lead her too much. She was like, yeah, just come on and talk about it. You know, wild story. Right. You know, I didn't. I didn't want to influence our witnesses here. And this is honestly an opportunity, too, for me to see if there's any sliver of exaggeration from her, because there was a world where she kind of did a little twist on truth in the story. And, you know, there's maybe an opportunity for her, like, oh, I'm not going to come on the show if I kind of made this up.

[A]

But she was like, right.

[F]

No, she's like, I'm down. Let me. Let me talk to my friend. Friend. So that sort of passed the first sniff check. And then this original source wasn't really down to talk about it, but also another opportunity to be like, it happened to, like, to make some declaration.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

So, yeah. So she didn't. She wasn't like, oh, I guess I was wrong or whatever. So I think she still believes in all honesty.

[A]

Does the original person, in your heart of hearts, do you believe that they actually think Sam and Aaron did this?

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, so then what we're going to need you to do is show them the video 100%.

[F]

Yeah. Yeah, we can. We can make sure that happens. I will say that I don't know if that's going to happen live.

[A]

No, that's okay.

[B]

Trust us.

[A]

But we. We would you to do now is you sit down with this person and get them to say, like, ask, like, do you really think Sam and Aaron intertwined their toes? She'll go, I saw it. And then go, okay, so this is them trying their hardest. Was it these feet? And whatever she says, just remember the best you can. We'll have you guys on again. But we. I mean, we're not at the bottom of it. Have done their stuff. Tyler, you've done your stuff. We're right there.

[F]

I love the spotlight. I. I want us to keep going. My suspicion is that this person, this original source, they are clamming up.

[B]

That agree.

[A]

But then that's okay. Then they don't have to be on. Show them the video.

[B]

Yep.

[F]

Also, I don't really know this original person, so my only vehicle is via my friend.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But that channel. Exactly.

[A]

And then what we might have to do is get your friend on.

[B]

I completely agree with that.

[A]

So, Sam and Aaron, going back to you guys first second. Because now you're seeing what we're all seeing. Everybody who listens to the show. A couple people in Thailand, one guy in Greenland. The world is watching. Why the Sam and Aaron, do you think that they're starting this weird rumor about you? And when we do the spotlight there. If. If I saw somebody. If I saw Gareth doing something weird and then somebody called and said, hey, they want you to back it up, I would go, yeah. And if I was wrong, I'd go, oh, I'm sorry, Gareth. I thought that was you.

[F]

Y.

[A]

And then we can all have a laugh. But if they now are clamming up and going, no, no, no, then that means they said, want to start a weird rumor?

[E]

You know, I think I know very little about this person. I can't imagine that they would start a rumor just for kicks. I don't know. I don't know them well enough.

[A]

Kicks.

[E]

My guess, we had talked about this. We talked about this on the last show is maybe they saw someone who remotely resembled us.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

But I. I've been racking my brain. I can't think of another couple that I've seen in the gym that looks like us. So I'm. I'm also out of ideas here.

[B]

Very frustrating.

[A]

It's crazy. Yeah.

[E]

We've worked hard at this.

[B]

Go ahead.

[E]

We need to know is that we have not seen this person in person since she. She now knows that we know that kind of situation. We haven't seen her in person at the gym yet. Wow. Gonna have to see each other.

[F]

I'm sorry to say I know for a fact it's gotten awkward. So just be.

[A]

You're talking about the original source?

[F]

Yes.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, guess what, Tyler? It should be awkward. She told people they were interlocking their toes.

[B]

That's the downside to hearsay.

[A]

Tyler, if you could help us, you know, we would really love Mercy. Your friend who told you you could we get her contact information and can I email her directly? Yes. Okay, so here's what we're going to do now. We're going to need that info from you, Tyler, and we are going to see what happens.

[F]

See what spirit does.

[A]

Yeah. So, everybody, thank you guys for joining for part two.

[B]

Jake, if I may.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When we end it, we might want to end with the boom.

[C]

Boom.

[F]

Was that it?

[C]

Was that the end?

[B]

Was that that's just the tease to it. Go ahead. You can wrap it up then. I'll do it. Three, two, one.

[A]

We will. We will talk to you guys all very soon.

[B]

Sorry, I think Sammy talked over that. Whatever. We'll figure we need to clean.

[F]

We need to clean, Sam.

[A]

All right.

[E]

Thank you, everybody.

[A]

And in conclusion to this episode. Yeah, Gareth.

[B]

It's been a real ride.

[A]

It's been a ride. I sent an email to the woman that Tyler. He gave me his. We got one step closer. Can I read what I sent?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So I know this is a uniquely strange situation and we don't want you put you in an awkward spot with your coworker, but we're just trying to get to the comedic end of this intertwining foot sock. Tyler said he didn't think you wanted to come on the show. He didn't want to offend anybody who potentially started the rumor. Is that accurate? Looking for any and all info you might have on this. Again, it's all for fun. There are no real stakes. It's about feet interlocking at a climbing gym. Aaron and Sam are not mad. They more find it funny. I just think it's fun to try and get to the source of this sort of stuff. What do you think? Wanna join this odd Law and Order episode Now?

[B]

Let me just say, very good.

[A]

Thanks.

[B]

But I also believe succinct, enjoyable, not too much.

[A]

But even the person who started this rumor, if they happen to hear it, let it be known you did nothing wrong.

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

Also, this is.

[B]

So we're talking about intertwining potatoes, finding tiny stakes.

[A]

Sam and Aaron, if you Guys are weirder on the person who started, relax. They thought they saw you with your feet intertwining. If the person gets their feelings hurt and then all of a sudden feels weird at the gym, guys all have a laugh. These are not real stakes. Yes, but she wrote back, the situation's tricky. I was excited, but the coworker didn't receive the invite. Well, she felt a little embarrassed and doesn't like this. This sent some other stuff. All very nice. She did say, happy to lay down. My POV Basically just said her co workers cool, but doesn't want to get involved with the game like this. Doesn't find it as much fun. Doesn't. Doesn't know if we're going to punk her. Whatever it is. Great.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Play your game, player. Basically, I heard she witnessed Salmon Aaron at a climbing gym holding toes. And I of course, believed it to be true because they are a hilarious, quirky cub up all. So in closing, she made it seem like she thought Sam and Aaron did it. Tyler has made it very clear that he thought Sam and Aaron did it. The main source doesn't want to be involved. And I get it. She doesn't know if she, she or he doesn't want to get bombarded with, hey, we're doing a podcast. You're the bad guy. And she's like, I'm not having any fun with. With this. It's catfish. She's like, I don't want to be catfished by Neve and some co guy. The point of this is we are not going to get to the ending. Yeah. We are going to let it go. We made a video and so we thought, well, that's not a big ending for our audience. And so we decided to have the great Stone on to watch the video of the intertwining feet.

[B]

Just talk about it in real time, like a real time documentary narration. Stone style.

[A]

Stone style. So without further ado, we take you to stone style.

[C]

Bum, bum, bum.

[D]

All right, so, hi, this is a here to help pod. This is Stone local foot. Enthusiastic. Okay, I'm watching a video here of two climbers. Their toes are very strong. They're.

[B]

Ooh.

[D]

Oh, man, that toe is. That toe is getting in between that other toe. But they can't interlace all of the toes. Oh, and there's a dog. The dog just walked by. He wants in on the action. Okay, they're trying again. They're trying to interlace the toes again. One foot is paler than the other foot, but they are gnarled feet for sure. These are climbers. Foots. They have put those feet through hell, jamming them in all different sorts of ways. These feet have been through it, so you can tell they're good climbers, but they cannot interlace. I will. I will say, oh, and they're showing the dog again. The dog's foot is in. It's not doing anything for me, because I would anyway.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[D]

It's actually interlacing. They got two toes. They got the big toes interlaced, and they got the middle finger toe interlaced, but they cannot interlace all toes.

[A]

Okay, Stone, your thoughts on that video as our foot guy?

[E]

Well,

[D]

it's pretty much out in the open that they cannot interlace all of their toes. So it's refuted. Refuted.

[A]

It is 100 refuted.

[D]

It's beautiful. But no, those. Those. They. They could. They would not have a career in. In. In my circles.

[A]

It did nothing for you. And what about, though, just for somebody who's not in the game.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What's. What's gross about those feet?

[D]

I don't know. You want, like, sort of.

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

I'm looking for, like, toes that have never. Or feet that have never, like, been harmed in any way, I suppose.

[B]

Pure.

[D]

Pure feet, I suppose. I don't know. Feet that have been bathed in all sorts of lotions and creams. Just a foot that's been taken care of, you see? And those feet are strong. They're salt of the earth.

[B]

Right.

[D]

Grind of the sea strong. But they're not. They're just two different types.

[B]

Like, okay, you know, let him go, Gareth.

[A]

Let him go. So keep going.

[F]

Point.

[D]

No, that's. That's pretty much it.

[A]

But do the. The salt of the earth kind of feet that. Does it do anything for you?

[D]

No, no, I'm looking for, like, the princess of feet. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

This kind of goes against our intro a little bit. Remember the whole modern man thing?

[B]

No. It's the end.

[D]

Yeah, I guess you're right.

[A]

Yeah. Stone, you're the best. All right, buddy. Thanks, my friend.

[B]

Thanks.

[D]

All right. Go with the God.

[B]

Okay. Toe with God.

[A]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] hereto help pod to see our entire catalog.

[F]

We're here. Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis Associate producer Jesse Thurston Editing, mix and master by Chris

[B]

Faller Theme song by Oliver Raleigh the COVID artwork is by James Fosdike Animations by Andrew Strelecki and if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[A]

That was a Headgum podcast. That was a Headgum podcast.

[B]

Hey, I'm Gareth Reynolds and I have a new podcast on Headgum called Next. We have now this show is for people with short attention attention spans, which is everyone. I mean you're probably trying to skip this ad right now, but don't because you now legally have to listen to the show. That's how Law works. Next we have is very simple. Each episode has three short segments. For instance, Lisa Gilroy and I write insane revenge Yelp reviews for callers who had bad experiences with a business. The Doughboys play a game called Meal or no Meal and Steph, Tola and I go head to head on a thought provoking game called Guess that Sound. The show is a as dumb as it sounds and we probably have more fun than we should, but it's a great time and you should listen or watch new episodes of Next we have every Thursday on YouTube or your favorite podcast. Apparently.