270: WEIRD Here to Help: Hester's Got Her Groove Back & Crawl Space Nightmare

Summary

Podcast Summary: "WEIRD Here to Help: Hester’s Got Her Groove Back & Crawl Space Nightmare"

We’re Here to Help – Episode 270

Air Date: March 13, 2026
Hosts: Eric Edelstein & Steve Berg
Guests/Callers: Hester (Virginia), Will (Philadelphia)

Episode Overview

This special Friday the 13th episode of "Weird Here to Help" finds Eric and Steve leaning into themes of superstition, resilience, and the joys (and perils) of helping others with truly bizarre life situations. Two thoroughly unique and engaging listener calls anchor the episode: Hester seeks help breaking out of a streak of bad luck and emotional malaise, while Will needs advice on what to do with his ex’s eerily lifelike, human-sized sculpture—currently stashed in his crawl space.

The episode is full of the hosts’ characteristic humor, pop culture tangents, and genuine empathy, blending the absurd with meaningful advice.

---

Opening Banter: Friday the 13th, Superstitions, and Horror (00:52–09:46)

• Eric and Steve riff on the superstition of Friday the 13th, mixing folklore, religion, and pop culture.
• [03:45] Steve Berg: “Show me one building in the United States that has a 13th floor.”
• The tradition is traced to religious and historical events—Last Supper, Knights Templar, etc.
• They segue into a loving discussion of the “Friday the 13th” movie franchise, specifically its impact and enduring appeal.
• Hockey masks, Canadian toughness, and rooting for Corey Feldman (and Ethan Hawke at the Oscars) get animated discussion.
• Candid talk about how seeing older people smoke feels like “winning at life,” but also that vaping is “worse” (08:17–08:30).

---

First Caller: Hester from Virginia – “Hester’s Got Her Groove Back” (13:18–36:22)

Introduction & Desert Island Picks (13:22–17:21)

• Hester introduces herself; Eric and Steve banter about her unique name and Virginia music trivia.
• Hester’s picks:
  • Movie: The Mummy (1999) (“…meets all your basic survival needs.”) [14:39]
  • Book: Collected Works of Rumi (transl. Coleman Barks) ("Every time you read it, you get something different out of it.")
  • Album: Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds – The Boatman’s Call

Hester’s Situation – Burnout, Bad Luck, and “Hexes” (17:30–20:48)

• Hester starts 2026 feeling “hexed”—dumped amicably, rejected by her dream grad school, sick, and stuck indoors from a snowstorm.
• [19:19] Hester: “I was trapped in my house. I was sick, I was heartbroken, and my whole template for what my year was going to look like… just kind of went away.”
• She’s a healer by profession but feels depleted.

Hosts’ Advice – Reset, Self-Care, and Enchantment (20:48–24:42)

• Steve diagnoses it as a “Stella needs to get her groove back” moment.
• Eric urges active enchantment: “Enchant your life today… crank Nick Cave, burn some sage, have some me time, get the scallops…” [21:01–22:23]
• Both suggest intentional rituals (sage, Palo Santo) to “bid goodbye” to recent negativity.

Finding New Energy – Adventure, Hobbies, and Legend Tripping (22:53–35:06)

• Steve recommends a rejuvenating solo adventure, “a sojourn… find a hobby or interest that has nothing to do with work or making money.” [22:53]
• Hester loves nature, art, writing, music; wants to do more hiking and backpacking but hasn’t prioritized self-care.
• Sedona, Arizona, is pitched as the ideal destination:
  • Known for “vortex” energy sites, weird New Age culture, and stunning nature.
  • Hosts recommend going solo for maximum self-rediscovery and “embedding” in a different, folklore-rich environment.
  • Also mention Taos, NM (stay in Dennis Hopper’s house), and the value of collecting local folklore.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• [28:01] Steve Berg: “I’m not particularly into New Age stuff, but I love being around the ephemera and the people. Honestly, it’s like going to another planet.”
• [34:48] Hester: “I feel better just thinking about [the trip].”
• [35:25] Steve Berg: “I think the name of this episode is how Hester got her groove back.”

Resolution & Takeaways

• Hester commits to planning a Sedona trip, feeling energized and hopeful.
• She's tasked with sending a postcard and a trip update.
• The hosts urge self-compassion and adventure, riff on local food, folkloric tours, and solo travel.

---

Second Caller: Will from Philadelphia – “Crawl Space Nightmare” (38:31–58:32)

Introduction & Desert Island Picks (38:40–41:13)

• Will has a deep, radio-ready voice ("Voiceover’s big loss. You have an incredible voice.” —Eric, 38:52)
• Album: New Peaches album (So Rude)
• Movie: Before Sunset (“That’s Ethan [Hawke], your boy.” —Steve, 40:16)
• Book: Someone Who Will Love You in All Your Damaged Glory by Raphael Bob-Waksberg

Will’s Dilemma – The Ex’s Human Sculpture (41:19–43:40)

• Will’s ex, an artist, left a lifesize soft sculpture—eerily human, wrapped in plastic—in his crawl space after moving to a smaller place.
• The sculpture is a “self-portrait,” with molded hands, feet, and the ex’s face—now “kind of looks like a dead body.” [42:03]
• “[It’s] terrifying… If someone [opened the closet], they’re jumping out the window if they’re smart.” – Steve, 47:15

Hosts’ Reactions & Initial Advice (43:40–48:18)

• Eric: “As long as that sculpture’s in your home, you’re entrenched with your ex.”
• Is Will just storing it until the ex can take it? Yes, but it’s already been months.
• Steve: “Three months is generous! …Every inch counts.”

Solutions and Comics Relief (47:41–55:01)

• Eric & Steve brainstorm:
  • Suggested Will “lean into it” and display it (not wrap it up creepily).
  • If the ex’s face is an issue, decorate it with masks for holidays and local icons: “Elvis, Santa, Hanukkah Harry, Bryce Harper, Allen Iverson…”
  • Create rotating “costumes”—make it fun and harmless, rather than something that looks like evidence in a crime doc.
  • “[If left in the crawl space,] you’re going to have people cutting through your screen door to escape.” —Eric, 48:18

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• [49:38] Will: “So I wasn’t down for displaying it as is, but I think decorating it…that is a great idea.”
• Steve imagines dressing it as David Lynch, “with a nice black blazer, black tie, put an American Spirit in the fingertips.”
• Will and hosts riff with giddy energy about future possibilities—dressing it as Steve, Eric, Ethan Hawke, or local Philadelphia heroes.

Broader Takeaways & Resolution

• Will is encouraged to embrace the weird, celebrate the sculpture, and “honor” his ex’s art (and their friendship).
• Promises to send photos as the “outfit” changes seasonally or with local events.
• [51:14] Eric: “There’s a lot you can do here, Will. Honestly, I think the idea of hiding it because of dates…is something you lean into.”

---

Standout Quotes (with Timestamps)

• Steve Berg [03:45]: “Show me one building in the US that has a 13th floor.”
• Hester [19:19]: “I was trapped in my house. I was sick, I was heartbroken, and my whole template for what my year was going to look like… just kind of went away.”
• Eric Edelstein [21:01]: “Enchant your life, go out there, have some fun, have some me time...crank Nick Cave, burn some sage…”
• Steve Berg [28:01]: “It’s like going to another planet…full of deep weirdos. You will see a guy with a triangle on his head he’s had since 1979.”
• Eric Edelstein [47:18]: “[The way it’s wrapped up], it’s crazier than hell…people cutting through your screen door to escape.”
• Steve Berg [50:32]: “Even if no one’s looking in that crawl space, knowing that that thing’s in there, that’s one of the scariest pictures I’ve ever seen.”
• Eric Edelstein [56:04]: “We often—a thing we do on this is lean into it…we're gonna lean into this glorious piece of art.”

---

Key Moments & Timestamps

| Time | Segment | Notes | |-----------|--------------------------------------|--------------------------------------------------------| | 00:52–09:46 | Friday 13th/superstition intro | Folklore, horror movies, rooting for Corey Feldman | | 13:18–36:22 | Hester's call | Burnout, bad luck, finding magic and solo adventure | | 22:53–35:06 | Sedona trip brainstorm | Hosts suggest transformative adventure; folklore focus | | 38:31–58:32 | Will's call | Storing ex’s “dead body” art in a crawl space; what now?| | 47:41–55:01 | Display/decorate the sculpture | Bizarre, funny, community-celebratory suggestions |

---

Tone, Language, and Atmosphere

• Playful, irreverent, but deeply empathetic—hosts weave jokes with real advice.
• The show leans into the “weird,” encouraging listeners to own their quirks and odd situations.
• Advice is honest but always supportive: acknowledging pain, but steering towards joy, humor, and connection.

---

Final Takeaways

• For Hester: Adventures—especially in strange, magical settings—can be healing. Self-care isn’t selfish, and embracing one’s passions and “legend-tripping” is a legitimate way to reset.
• For Will: Hiding (literal or metaphorical) baggage doesn’t help; leaning into one’s story, with humor and creativity, makes life richer (and a lot less spooky).
• For Listeners: Life’s weirdness is best met with laughter, openness, and sometimes just a fresh coat of paint on your emotional “sculpture.”

---

End Note:
Listeners are invited to call in with their own problems—no matter how odd. “Weird Here to Help” will always offer the best (or weirdest) advice they’ve got, and a warm welcome to everyone who dares to join the fun.

Transcript

[Eric Edelstein]

This is a Headgun podcast.

[Morgan Nally]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Morgan Nally]

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[Eric Edelstein]

A refundation. We're here to help. We're here to help. No more days till Halloween,

[Steve Berg]

ladies and gentlemen.

[Eric Edelstein]

You are here and we're here to help. Very special Friday.

[Steve Berg]

It's Jason and for day for you kids and animals out there, Eric. I love Friday 13th. You know why?

[Eric Edelstein]

Because I don't know a thing about the history of Friday 13th. I just know I get scared leaving my house on Friday 13th.

[Will (Caller)]

Smart.

[Steve Berg]

You should be.

[Eric Edelstein]

That was a bit.

[Steve Berg]

You should be. You should be. Yeah, A bucket of.

[Eric Edelstein]

What's the history Friday 13th? Tell us.

[Steve Berg]

I don't really know. All. Okay, so there was 12 apostles in the old. That little. That book called the Bible. And I believe there was like. I think, I think there was like a 13th that was like a naughty, like a naughty one and then that 13th. Maybe it is. I don't. I know. I don't know jack. All about the Bible. Never read it. Never been to church to worship.

[Eric Edelstein]

Nine years of Catholic school, buddy.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, I got nothing. I got nothing. My dad's an atheist. So, you know, what am I gonna do? We'd have pancakes on Sunday when my brother and my mom would go to church and my dad and I would eat pancakes and.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, that's it. I don't think I knew this. No.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, we always, we split it up. He gave me the choice. I was like, Hell no.

[Eric Edelstein]

The food for you.

[Steve Berg]

I was a UFO kid.

[Eric Edelstein]

We know what like, hey, Ste, want pancakes and Toys R Us? Or you want to go hear about the lowers?

[Steve Berg]

Exactly right.

[Eric Edelstein]

Jesus. I think I want those delicious pancakes and a Star wars figure.

[Steve Berg]

Sign me up with a flapjack, stat.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. Here we sit.

[Steve Berg]

Well, yes, Hot cakes have turned me many other direction. I will say this. I will say this. The number 13. So, folks, when. Whenever I'm into, like, you know, I. I'm talking about folklore, superstition, supernatural. I was like, oh, that's like dumb stuff. However, people don't understand how important superstition is to even, like, American culture. And you wouldn't think that that's being such a new country. Show me one building in the United States that has a 13th floor.

[Eric Edelstein]

Very true.

[Steve Berg]

They do not. Office buildings do not. They. I mean, it is rare. Why is that? It's because of the superstition. That is how powerful folklore and these mythologies and these stories are, they are literally infused in architecture's minds when they're creat building. Think about that.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's amazing, Steve. And I will say I looked it up. And despite you eating flapjacks and avoiding church, you correct. According to Christian tradition, 13 people attended the Last Supper and Jesus was crucified on a Friday, making the combination ominous. Now, this is the one I'd always heard about. It's a was a bad day for the Knights Templar.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, I love the Knights Templar.

[Eric Edelstein]

A lot of stuff. Steve, watch Oak Island. Or don't. It's a quagmire, guys. On Friday, October 13, 1307, King Philip IV of France ordered the mass arrest and torture of the Knights Templar, a date often cited as the historical origin of the superstition. There's also north mythology, and then there's something called the 13th Club, where Captain William Fowler in the late 19th century created a group to combat this superstition by hosting dinners in groups. The 13th. On the 13th day of the month. And that's what we're doing here.

[Steve Berg]

That's exactly right.

[Eric Edelstein]

Celebrating and leaning into Friday the 13th.

[Steve Berg]

Absolutely.

[Eric Edelstein]

Get a great day, friends.

[Steve Berg]

Can I also say. Can I also say what? Look, look, I love the first, like most of the Friday the Nightmare, Elm street series, but if you were to give me just in terms of like, the 80s, the 1, not the ones that are made in the 90s, the 1980s of a horror movie series, a slasher series. Give me Friday the 13th, the original all day long. One through one through six are incredible, but one through four especially the fourth one, starting with Corey Feldman playing Tommy. So good. You have Crispin Glover in there playing like a little stoner teenager. You have Corey Feldman at his peak facing off with Jason Voorhees. Great film. It is so good. I love the Friday 13th series so much. So much so that it's still. I can't even, like, go to a hockey game, so I'm scared of the hockey mask, Steve.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's sad.

[Steve Berg]

It is sad. Plus, it's on ice. I don't understand it. There's no ball. A puck. I don't get it. I don't get hockey. I respect hockey.

[Eric Edelstein]

I think hockey's like jazz. I think you get it as you get older in life. I saw four goals. It was awesome.

[Steve Berg]

I'm scared of people who play hockey because I know they would just pulverize my soft little ass. They would kick my ass.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. Five, seven. Guy from. From Ottawa will just destroy us.

[Steve Berg]

They don't feel pain. They're used to the cold.

[Eric Edelstein]

They're so tough up there because they grew up in that weather. They grew up in polar vortexes getting. Getting pucks flung at them.

[Steve Berg]

Absolutely.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's a. That's something we don't.

[Steve Berg]

They got maple syrup in their blood, dude. It makes you tougher and stronger.

[Eric Edelstein]

Canadian maple syrup, Steve. I seek it out. I buy it. Also, we're rooting for Corey Feldman. He's in the news right now. As of recording on Monday, previous Friday 13th, he's not been invited to the Stand By Me reunion. Why? Oscars.

[Steve Berg]

That's bullshit.

[Eric Edelstein]

I don't know. He says it's because he's called out.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, well, yeah, yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

But I hope that that gets fixed. I hope that two days later on what? Sunday the 15th. We are really, really rooting it one. Corey Feldman is there.

[Steve Berg]

He should be.

[Eric Edelstein]

Friend of the pod. Our guy Ethan Hawke walks away with that Oscar.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. We love Ethan.

[Eric Edelstein]

He is such a great human, such a great scene partner. And he does things his own way. He's an independent. He's a rogue.

[Steve Berg]

Does he still smoke? Does he still smoke cigs?

[Eric Edelstein]

I don't think so.

[Steve Berg]

You know, he was hanging out of

[Eric Edelstein]

the Mercury Lounge with the crew. He's a magical human being.

[Steve Berg]

You know, he was one of the people who made me want to smoke cigarettes when I was young. I remember, I saw. He would probably not love hearing that. I saw reality.

[Eric Edelstein]

I feel horrible.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, no, man.

[Eric Edelstein]

Steve, don't smoke.

[Steve Berg]

No, no, no.

[Eric Edelstein]

You don't want to smoke.

[Steve Berg]

There is a scene with Ethan and the wonderful Winona writer towards in the third act of reality by. It's a great movie. I love. I love also, I have such reverence for those older Gen X people. They're all my heroes. But here's a scene where he's like, well, all I know is I got this two day old coffee and in two. In a. In a crush pack of camo unfiltered cigarettes. And I remember, like, that's the coolest thing. Plus he didn't wash his hair a lot. I thought that was cool.

[Eric Edelstein]

Like, he wash your hair and don't smoke. Steve, he'd be the first to tell

[Steve Berg]

you, well, I don't smoke anymore. I quit a long time ago, man.

[Eric Edelstein]

He does not smell like cigarettes and his hair smells amazing.

[Steve Berg]

I will say, you know what? I wish he did smoke. I do. Yeah. Smoking. Smoking is bad. But I will say this. When I see an like a gentleman or a man or woman and they're like, they're like 75 and they're smoking, I'm like, you won't. You won life. You beat the odds. You did it.

[Eric Edelstein]

You did it for this. But when I see someone smoking now, I'm like, to me, that's like somebody playing records. They're bringing it analog. And I think the vaping's worth. I think it gives you popcorn lung. I think your lungs have an easier. I vape filtering out that dude.

[Steve Berg]

I vaped for about six months on the set of when I was working on the show, Idiot sitter. And people actually, like, gave me an intervention because I couldn't. I wasn't sleeping very much. I was like, this is great. It's like, you can smoke and it doesn't hurt you. I my. I was like baseline, like, my heart was like 200 beats per second. I was like on the verge of a heart attack, dude. And finally, like, Garrett was like, dude, you got like, you're going to hurt yourself. Am I? And then they have like a talk with me and I just stopped vaping. They wouldn't allow me to do it.

[Eric Edelstein]

There's a lesson. Everybody stop faking. Have a cigarette once or twice a year.

[Steve Berg]

But Ethan, it's European. I bet Ethan's got to sneak whatever once in a while.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, I hope he sneaks one after he wins the Academy Award because I've also bet a lot of money on him on these betting markets.

[Steve Berg]

Are you a. Do you polymarket bet Ethan Hawk would win?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, a lot. I bet on Benicio Del Toro just for a few marks.

[Steve Berg]

I love him.

[Eric Edelstein]

He's great. They're big underdogs and he was not supposed to win. So you bet like $3. You can win a hundred. Tell you what, I think big daddy Ethan's gonna gonna Benito del Toro, another

[Steve Berg]

great older Gen X smoker. That guy could smoke a cigarette on screen.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'm sorry. I understand. I haven't seen the SARS guard performance. How you cannot give him the Academy Award for sensei and a few small beers. I don't get it. A few small 13th slash Oscars. Preamble.

[Steve Berg]

That's right.

[Eric Edelstein]

Steve, are you ready to take some calls?

[Steve Berg]

Oh, I am. I'm footloose and fancy free. I'm fully juiced, tanked up, ready to go, brother.

[Eric Edelstein]

Let's go. You're on Weird. Here to help on a very Special Friday the 13th.

[Morgan Nally]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Morgan Nally]

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[Eric Edelstein]

That was it, brother.

[Steve Berg]

That was it. Jim the Leathers. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Hello.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, my friend, expecting anything professional anyway. Steve, are you kidding?

[Steve Berg]

Come on. We were doing Rayman's Eric Bits and also we just noticed that there's a collar on. Well, my friend, it seems you have found weird. Here to help with Eric Elstein and Stevie Oberg is there. Could you please tell us what your name is and where you're calling from?

[Hester (Caller)]

Sure. I'm Hester and I'm calling from Virginia,

[Steve Berg]

the great state of Virginia. Okay. I'm trying to think of, like a piece of trivia. Well, I'll tell you. UVA is where Steve Malkimus, David Berman and Bob Nostanovich all went to college together. Basically, essentially where the. The band Pavement and Silver Juice comes from.

[Hester (Caller)]

You're not going to talk that so, you know, Thomas Jefferson can go to hell, I guess.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Thank you. Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Because you know what? Malcolm David Berman never had slaves.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, that's true.

[Hester (Caller)]

There you Go.

[Eric Edelstein]

There we go. Yeah. Come on. Poor Sally Hemings.

[Steve Berg]

So, Hester, first off, lovely name. You were the first Hester I think I've ever spoken to him in. In my life. Yeah. So I love, love the name. Beautiful. Now, if you were on a deserted island without thinking, giving this much thought, you can take one film or premium television show, one book and then one album, what would they be?

[Hester (Caller)]

Okay. I feel like movie is the easiest because I would take the 1999 the Mummy with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weiss.

[Steve Berg]

Love it.

[Hester (Caller)]

Kind of meet all your basic survival needs, you know?

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, it does. It does. It's like a. Yeah, but canon for

[Eric Edelstein]

this podcast is the only mummy that matters is the Jake Johnson one.

[Steve Berg]

True, true, true.

[Eric Edelstein]

Sorry. He signs our paychecks, he blows Brendan Frazier out of the water. Frazier's probably better playing a fat guy.

[Steve Berg]

I thought you were just gonna say he blows Bren Frazier in the Mummy.

[Eric Edelstein]

I. We can get that green lit.

[Steve Berg]

Are you kidding?

[Eric Edelstein]

If Jake's willing to take off his judgment hat, we can really move something now. Watch that, man. Jake, it's just skin. They're offering you a lot of money, buddy. But, no, that. That mummy's a great. And Brendan Frazier, I'm just gonna say he's a friend of the pod.

[Steve Berg]

He.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, I think we'd love him.

[Steve Berg]

We gotta get him on.

[Eric Edelstein]

Such a great human being. I love him.

[Morgan Nally]

School ties.

[Steve Berg]

Fucking classic. Come on.

[Hester (Caller)]

He seems like a sweet man, you know? Like one of those people who seems like a real guy.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, he is. I've never heard of bad. This town is like a bunch of gossips. And it's a kind of like a tiny little small town. I've never heard one bad word about it. People love.

[Steve Berg]

No. We're on team forage over here now. What book would you bring?

[Hester (Caller)]

Book is really hard. I think I would do poetry because I feel like every time you read it, you get something different out of it.

[Steve Berg]

Sure.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's smart for an island.

[Steve Berg]

Endlessly fascinating. Yeah. Like, do you know what book of poetry or an author, I think maybe,

[Hester (Caller)]

like, I have a Collected Works of Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks, that I really like a lot.

[Steve Berg]

Great. Rumi it is.

[Eric Edelstein]

I have a Rumi book, friend.

[Steve Berg]

We'll allow it.

[Eric Edelstein]

I can't lie to you, though. It's just been on my bookshelf. I gotta get in the right framework to finally tackle it, but there's so many roomy quotes.

[Steve Berg]

I'll tell you what. When I was working at Barnes and Noble In Santa Monica, 3rd Street Promenade back in 2001, Rumi books were flying off the shelf. They were flying off the shelf. You couldn't keep them in stock.

[Eric Edelstein]

People want enlightenment by the ocean.

[Steve Berg]

Oh yeah, they do.

[Eric Edelstein]

Romeo helped get them there.

[Steve Berg]

They do. And then, then that's where the all fascist yoga started anyways. Oh, that's neither here nor there.

[Hester (Caller)]

Yoga off the island.

[Steve Berg]

I'm not blaming Roomy had nothing to do with that, but I. What album would you bring?

[Hester (Caller)]

I would do Nick Cave and the Bats.

[Steve Berg]

Hell yeah.

[Hester (Caller)]

The Boatman's Call.

[Steve Berg]

Okay. That is a great record.

[Hester (Caller)]

Yeah, he's like a lot of really great listen throughs, but that's my favorite Hester. Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

Let me ask you a question, and it's very serious. How do you think Eric Edelstein and old Steve Oberg can help you today?

[Hester (Caller)]

Well, so I have felt this year like I started off 2026 with a little bit of a hex, and I think I need some help removing it because I've taken hexes off of friends and I've also, like, I work in a field of healing and caring for people and I feel like I put a lot of good energy out there, but I feel a little bit stuck in some negativity recently and I don't know, I just, I need a hard reset.

[Steve Berg]

Okay, well, do you don't know the root cause of the negativity? Like, did something happen or is it just kind of an overall like, like feeling of, you know, like, blah, like blase? You're like, nothing excites me right now. Or is it just like you feel like dreadful, like, oh, this is a nightmare.

[Hester (Caller)]

So, like in, in within the span of two weeks, really toward the beginning of this year, I got dumped.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, man.

[Hester (Caller)]

You know, was, you know, it was amicable and I wish my ex all the best and hope that he finds the journey that he needs. But then, like, him?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, I was just gonna say mistake. Yeah. He's the legitimate enemy of the podcast we have. And I'm putting a hex and I'm putting spiritual. All right. I'm kidding.

[Hester (Caller)]

I don't need him to be a vil to have a happy ending.

[Eric Edelstein]

You know, you're more enlightened than us. You want to host this? Yeah, I needed this. You are a healer. I can tell. I was ready. I was ready to go suck this guy.

[Steve Berg]

You just brought me back to my

[Eric Edelstein]

divine feminine and I thank you.

[Steve Berg]

You unhatched Eric. Thank you truly.

[Hester (Caller)]

Oh, wow. Oh, cool. Well, that's really something. If you ever want me to. Come on, give you some advice. I'm happy to do so.

[Eric Edelstein]

I need it. Yeah.

[Hester (Caller)]

Oh, you're so cool, though. But, yeah. So I got dumped nicely, but it hurt. And.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Hester (Caller)]

Then, like, right after that, I got rejected by a grad school that I really, really wanted to go to that a lot of people, including people who taught there, thought I was pretty certain to get into, and I didn't even get an interview, and that hurt. And then right after that, I got a sinus infection that lasted, like, two weeks.

[Steve Berg]

Okay.

[Hester (Caller)]

And then the snowstorm happened, and we were all trapped in our houses. So it's like I was trapped in my house. I was sick, I was heartbroken, and my whole template for what my year was going to look like starting this doctorate program just kind of went away. And that was when I wrote to you guys, because I was like, I. I bet they could help me fix this.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, we can. So let me. Essentially, I'm going to use this metaphor. Stella needs to get her groove back.

[Hester (Caller)]

Yeah, I think so.

[Steve Berg]

Right? Stella needs to get her groove back.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, and that is. It's one of Steve's favorite movies. I can't tell you how many times he smokes a joint, throws on Stella, gets a groove back, he starts crying.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, it's crying.

[Eric Edelstein]

And like. Like real tears. It's just. It's a very sweet thing, an ugly cry. But I also do want to say, with the spirit of enlightenment, love that grad school. Yeah, they made a big mistake. But I will also say this just to start some of the things I've been most disappointed in life and was couldn't believe it ended up being the best thing ever because another opportunity, in an amazing way, like, I've lamented jobs I didn't get. And it's. I was so upset. And then something else truly magical happened. And you.

[Morgan Nally]

You.

[Eric Edelstein]

I can tell from your energy, you kind of know you're in a flow. And you. I don't think you were supposed to go there or at least not supposed to go there then. And this other, you know, your ex. I think you graduated, you learned, you moved on. But, like, all this now and, like, you know, it's. At least it all came at once. And a neti pot's great for sinus. It's just incredible, right? Some saline, little essential oils. We've talked in here before about the idea of enchanting your life. And I think this is an incredible invitation to start enchanting your life today. And, like, having a whole bunch of. I can tell. Also, sometimes you have a Spiritual deficit if you're helping and not care enough about yourself. So I'm giving you first off, full permission. Enchant your life, go out there, have some fun, have some me time, get the scallops, have some fried food, crank Nick Cave, like. And then I would also say with all, do it in an intentional way. Burn some sage, burn some Palo Santo and bid goodbye the grad school, the X, the sinus infection, all that stuff and blast Nick Cave and then put on, put on some happy music, put on some Kenny Loggins and just forget everything ever happened.

[Steve Berg]

Eric, I think that is all wonderful advice. This is kind of a personal question. Would you possibly have a little. I know you're a student. A little extra money to take a weekend trip?

[Hester (Caller)]

Yeah, I actually, so I'm not currently a student. I'm. I was going back into school, so I'm lucky in that, you know, I'm, I'm doing pretty good. In fact, going back to school would have involved a big amount of sacrifice, but I could totally get away for a little bit. Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

Like, because here's what I'm thinking, friend. Like whenever, like something in my career goes sideways or in life goes sideways, what helps me is to find a hobby or an interest that has nothing to do with work or making money. I think you need to go on a sojourn, a journey of, of, of a chance to your life doing something even maybe you're a little nervous to do. Is there something you've always wanted to do but you're like, oh, I don't know, maybe in my next life. Like if there's something you've always wanted to within reason, obviously, like, you know, you can't go to the moon just willy nilly unless you. Well, maybe you can yet, Steve. Not yet. Not yet. We'll be offering trip soon. But like, like, is there something you've always wanted to do but that kind of felt out of reach just with like, oh, I don't know if I have, you know, the fortitude to do something like that. But like, like what are your, what are your interests in life that do not have to do with work?

[Hester (Caller)]

Yeah, well, I love nature, I'm an artist, I make music, I write. You know, I, I've been wanting to do more hiking and camping and maybe like some backpacking because I. Yeah, you kind of hit the nail on the head that I, I definitely have a deficit. I give a lot and I don't always necessarily balance that with enough self care.

[Steve Berg]

Right, right.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, it's hard because I Think Steve and I are both people that try to give as well. But you realize, and I'm sure you know this, that sometimes it's harder to give if you're. If you're not in your best place. So it's just taking a little. It's not selfish to take more me time and to recharge your own energy. Now in Virginia, are you in like the D.C. maryland, kind of near there?

[Hester (Caller)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay. There is a shaman spiritual hero and life coach named Beatrice polygamy that I've heard some amazing things about. Waitress.

[Steve Berg]

What you've heard because you just.

[Eric Edelstein]

There's a buzz. There's a buzz.

[Steve Berg]

Wait.

[Eric Edelstein]

Because they have a online reviews that I'm seeing that I like.

[Steve Berg]

They have a website. Eric's like, I'm hearing great things. They've got, they've got a website.

[Eric Edelstein]

She's got space, energy, clearing. She's got shamanic healing. Look, we, we can also. It's very important that our healers also have healers. Steve.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, okay. Sure, sure, sure. It's like a dentist needs a dentist. They can't give herself a root canal.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, they can. If they do, it probably won't go well. There's not enough nitrous in the world to get through that.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

So there is Beatrice Poligny at allowing the light and so you can look her up. But also I'm gonna ask you this. Is there like a secret kind of dream you have or something you wish that you've done that always seemed a little bit too crazy to kind of pursue that you're like.

[Steve Berg]

That's where I'm getting at.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, that doesn't. That, that's. That's for down the road or something. It might be now. Do you have like you do?

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. Like an experience or something.

[Eric Edelstein]

What is it?

[Hester (Caller)]

I mean I spend. So I went through the Southwest when I was on tour with my friend's band a few years ago.

[Steve Berg]

Oh yeah.

[Hester (Caller)]

And I really fell in love with it. And the thing that I've really been longing for that might not be like easy for a weekend or whatever would be to go back out to New Mexico or Arizona just to like a really long through hike. I love like multi day hikes.

[Steve Berg]

I got a pitch for you. Okay. Usually I don't pitch this, but it seems like a one stop shop. And Eric, I think this might satiate what you.

[Eric Edelstein]

I think I know where you're going.

[Steve Berg]

A little place called Sedona, Arizona. Oh, okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

You know about the portals?

[Steve Berg]

There is. I have a Book behind Orbs of Light. There's a haunted ranch around there.

[Eric Edelstein]

But also, stay away from the haunted ranch.

[Steve Berg]

Stay away from the haunted ranch. I'll give you the coordinates. I went. I went.

[Eric Edelstein]

The vortexes. You will feel them. And only problem, you know how you have to get there. Yeah. Hike.

[Steve Berg]

Yes.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's a glorious hike. There's also. I would highly recommend. You could do it in one trip, too. Taos, New Mexico.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Steve, do you know that you can rent Dennis Hopper's old house?

[Steve Berg]

Oh, God, yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

It is now a retreat. You can stay in his room where he edited Easy writer for like 160 bucks a night.

[Steve Berg]

I bet there is. I bet there's cocaine stuffed in those walls somewhere.

[Eric Edelstein]

Probably. I looked. It's. It's. You know, we'll see.

[Hester (Caller)]

Should I bring a straw?

[Steve Berg]

I think so.

[Eric Edelstein]

Absolutely. Don't get cheated, but just get a paper straw. But Steve is so right. Steve, just. Sedona, will you explain the science behind Sedona and what those vortexes are? Because they're powerful. And I went with a skeptical friend who was kind of quiet in the car, like, all right, there's something there, but I think it's more. There's a scientific reason. Spiritual. But, yeah, there's something there.

[Steve Berg]

Well, that draw for to soda for me isn't necessarily like the new wage economy there, because it is full of charlatans. No offense, Derek. I'm sorry, but I think it is.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'm a friendly charlatan.

[Steve Berg]

I wasn't saying you're a charlatan. I am.

[Eric Edelstein]

I admit it.

[Steve Berg]

Podcasting.

[Eric Edelstein]

I'm a Danicin for the new age.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. You. Well, that's. I wouldn't argue with that. But the whole economy there is New age. How? Well, however, I think it doesn't matter if you're into that or not. I actually am particularly not into New age stuff, but I love being around the ephemera and the people because it is honestly like going to another planet. You will see a guy with like a. A triangle on his head, you know, that he's had in his head since 1979. It is full of total deep weirdos. It draws people from all over the world because of the quote, unquote, vortex energy. I went on the vortex tour. Didn't feel a thing. But I love the lore in the folklore behind it.

[Eric Edelstein]

Because your inner child's dead.

[Hester (Caller)]

Yeah, I think you're probably right on both level, I feel.

[Steve Berg]

I think you're probably right.

[Eric Edelstein]

There's also. Steve, did you do the alien, the UFO tour? When you were there.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, I know.

[Eric Edelstein]

You see so much stuff out there. There's ideas that aliens. I can't believe I'm the one saying this is not you.

[Steve Berg]

No, no.

[Eric Edelstein]

Again, my friend that was skeptical said they saw tons of crazy, unexplained.

[Steve Berg]

There is a woman named Melinda Leslie who gives nighttime UFO tours. She provides infrared glasses and, well, you drive around pink jeeps. And it's actually a very fun tour. Her name's Melinda Leslie. But the thing is, this kind of ticks all the boxes because going from Virginia to Sedona, you are. It's just going to be such a huge 180 difference from your normal environment. I think getting out of your everyday environment is so healthy and wonderful. And also you will go there and you will laugh at some of these people. Go and take like, have a spa day while you're there. Go take like a weird seminar about, like, you know, like, astral projection. Honestly, if anything, it will give you this. It's, I think for me, when I'm down and in a little bit of a rut, but how I bail myself out of it is weed. Well, of course, that's. That's step one.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay.

[Steve Berg]

Right. But then once I get. I get the weed in my system, I plan a adventure. An adventure doesn't mean I'm like, going to the Amazon jungle. It could be like I'm driving to a small town, South Dakota, where a Bigfoot was seen crossing the street and then turned to a bunny rabbit. Like, I love folklore so much. So I'm kind of a. I'm kind of a legend tripper. I suppose my idea of a big a vacation is to go somewhere where weird stuff is happen, then embed myself in that. And I'm telling you, I have wrecked people who are total normies in my life. I have told them to go do this, and they all love it because, like, getting out of your comfort zone helps you grow. And I'm telling you, the moment you book yourself a trip, you're going to start feeling better. That is going to be just actually doing the action of planning. And then you can. I mean, like, you go with a friend if you want, but I also recommend doing a solo. How? Still got her groove back.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, right. We're both big solo travelers. Hester.

[Steve Berg]

Huh?

[Eric Edelstein]

There is something, right? It's so fun and it's great. You have to worry about anyone else. You know, you have anyone worried about what you're ordering. Like, you can get eggs with a side of eggs.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

And like, nobody's there to judge you also, you know, you get those red and green chilies in the Southwest. I'm getting them delivered now.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

But, like, it always comes back to the meals for us, as you know. But I. I truly think, like, there's mag solo traveling, and you'll. You will find what you need. We just want a postcard.

[Steve Berg]

You sound like you. You already like nature. I think you kind of are maybe one. I think, like, you know, we all get stuck in these, like, weird little zones in our middle age, and I think you snap yourself out of it by putting your embedding yourself in a very weird environment.

[Hester (Caller)]

I like that. You know, I. I collect a folklore ghost storybook everywhere I travel. I have, like, two full bookshelves of them now, and I feel like I could probably fill a third in se. From the sense of it.

[Steve Berg]

Right. Well, Sedona is just the first place that comes to mind because it's. It's a different environment than Virginia. The landscape's different, the folklore is going to be different. The people are absolutely going to be different, because there's really nowhere like Sedona. I mean, there's a couple places that are, like, you know, New age havens, too. But if you want, like, the most quintessential freaky, like, little town Sedona, Arizona, is your bet.

[Eric Edelstein]

And those are the Palatki Heritage Tours and the Honanki Heritage Site, and those are both indigenous. They will take you on tours. And these. These pictographs and petroglyphs will blow your ever loving minds.

[Steve Berg]

They're. They're amazing. It's one of the best things ever did, to be honest.

[Hester (Caller)]

Oh, that sounds so incredible. Thank you, guys. I'm excited. I think I'm gonna start looking at dates.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Do I love it? I love it. And if anything weird happens, you just call Steve Berg. And he knows people in Sedona. He's basically the mayor out there.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

They had Bigfoot sightings. Just drop. Drop that name everywhere.

[Steve Berg]

You'll get a table anywhere in town. Anywhere.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And by the way, his restraining order's up. That was just a bunch of, you know, that was. That was a disagreement with the diner owner.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will say this, too. The food is very good there. They do a lot of Southwestern kind of style, like, stacked enchilada. Like, you know how they do New Mexico. It's close enough to where they get the same chili. They'll import the chilies over from New Mex. So, I mean, like, you'll Eat well, which is very important to me. I will not go anywhere where the food's not decent.

[Eric Edelstein]

No.

[Hester (Caller)]

Oh, I agree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

I'm not an animal.

[Hester (Caller)]

That seems silly.

[Steve Berg]

So, Hester, what do you think? Like, what's grabbing you about some of these ideas? Do you think maybe there's something you consider. I mean, like, and this location. The location is really arbitrary. Wherever you, Whatever is calling you, I would say go to.

[Hester (Caller)]

Honestly, I think Sedona is calling me. Like, here's the thing is that for, like, the last couple of years, I've been talking with my best friend Gwen, who helped talk me into going on the show today.

[Steve Berg]

Hell, yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Please thank her.

[Steve Berg]

Right on, Glenn.

[Hester (Caller)]

Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I've been trying to find a time to do a Southwest trip, and nothing really felt right. Like, it just. Just. It didn't feel like the right time or I couldn't think of the right itinerary. But the more you guys talk about Sedona, it actually, it checks off a lot of boxes because I'm a legend tripper, too. And, like, Gwen and I go to a lot of local legend spots together. I collect ghost storybooks. I love it on both levels. Like, I love letting the believer part of me get into it and feel the vibe. And then I also love the sort of observer part of me. Just enjoy the weird and the people watching.

[Steve Berg]

That's it.

[Hester (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

That's the good stuff.

[Hester (Caller)]

Yeah, I. I think it sounds like there's just a lot there for me. Like, a lot that I find energizing and spiritually fulfilling and amusing and fun. It sounds nice. Like, I feel better just thinking about it.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, to see. That's so good, right? I mean, Eric, adventure is. It's a. It's life sustaining, you know, I mean, it's my life.

[Eric Edelstein]

And you can tell she's, you know, she's one of us.

[Steve Berg]

Hester enjoys. This is your sojourn. This is your time. This is all about. I think the name of this episode is how Hester got her groove back.

[Hester (Caller)]

Oh, my gosh. Oh, goodness.

[Steve Berg]

That's got to be the time.

[Eric Edelstein]

It's Hester time. We're living in Esther time now. Yeah, we bow to you. And we want a full update and report about your trip. Okay.

[Steve Berg]

Yep. Like, Devin has to run all those balls back.

[Hester (Caller)]

Okay, I will let you know.

[Steve Berg]

Terrible sports joke. Terrible sports.

[Hester (Caller)]

I have no idea what it means. It's fine.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, Hester print is a good one.

[Steve Berg]

I barely do either in a show. Hester, good luck. Have the best time. This is Gonna. This is gonna open up a whole new world of possibilities. And fuck grad school. They suck that. Whoever that boyfriend was, he's a deadbeat. And you go focus on yourself, sister.

[Hester (Caller)]

Okay. Thank you so much, you guys. You made me feel a lot better.

[Steve Berg]

Good.

[Eric Edelstein]

We're so glad that makes our day, Hester. And you're stuck with us. So let us know about your trip.

[Hester (Caller)]

Yep, I will. Thank you so much.

[Eric Edelstein]

And if you're playing music out here, if you're touring to la, you let us know because, you know, live music's our thing.

[Hester (Caller)]

Yeah, I will. I will.

[Eric Edelstein]

Done.

[Steve Berg]

Done.

[Hester (Caller)]

Thank you.

[Steve Berg]

Bye, buddy. Bye, friend.

[Morgan Nally]

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[Eric Edelstein]

Well, well, well. Steve, we have a caller.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, caller.

[Eric Edelstein]

What is your name or name you're choosing to use and where are you calling from?

[Will (Caller)]

I am Will and I'm calling from Philadelphia.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, I love Philadelphia.

[Steve Berg]

Brotherly love you.

[Eric Edelstein]

You have an incredible deep voice. Are you enhancing and changing your voice slightly?

[Will (Caller)]

I'm sorry, no, I'm not enhancing or changing it. I can go higher though.

[Eric Edelstein]

You are voiceovers. Big loss. You have an incredible voice. Better than mine. And I do it for Iraq. It truly, my friend. I love Philadelphia. By the way, I think, Will, that the whole city of brotherly love thing in Philadelphia is incredibly true. I found some of the nicest people in the world in Philadelphia.

[Will (Caller)]

I agree. I'm not from here originally, but I moved here a few years ago and I. I love it.

[Steve Berg]

Where'd you go?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, where are you from originally?

[Steve Berg]

I'm curious.

[Will (Caller)]

I'm from Long island in New York.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Long Island. De La Soul. Get it? Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

Wu Chang.

[Eric Edelstein]

Wu Tang. You're on a desert island. You can only bring one album, one movie or premium television show and one book. What are they going to be? Will with the incredible Basie voice.

[Will (Caller)]

All right, so I. I knew this was coming, but I did not prepare for this question.

[Steve Berg]

Good.

[Eric Edelstein]

That's fine. We went spontaneity.

[Steve Berg]

We love that.

[Will (Caller)]

Okay, okay. So I just saw Peaches the other day. So I'm gonna go with her new album.

[Steve Berg]

Great.

[Will (Caller)]

So rude. No. Or no lube. So rude. Yeah, Great album.

[Eric Edelstein]

Hell yeah.

[Will (Caller)]

And then it was TV show or film.

[Eric Edelstein]

And then TV show or film.

[Will (Caller)]

I'm gonna go with Before Sunset. That's my favorite movie.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, yeah. That's Ethan, your boy.

[Will (Caller)]

What?

[Eric Edelstein]

Straight?

[Will (Caller)]

Yeah. You're Eric, your former co worker.

[Steve Berg]

Julie Delpi.

[Eric Edelstein]

Don't meet your heroes is bullshit. He's the coolest. Have you seen me in the Lowdown with him?

[Will (Caller)]

I did. And I was disappointed you were not in it more.

[Steve Berg]

Trust me.

[Eric Edelstein]

They milked it though, to get four episodes out of. That's a lot of flashbacks. I'm very happy. Ethan is the coolest. So already, buddy, we're on the big time. Same page with. With that movie. Because Ethan rules as a hero.

[Steve Berg]

What about. What about. What about a piece of literature?

[Will (Caller)]

Friends, I'm gonna go with Someone who will love you. What is it called? Sorry, I'm looking at Someone who will love you in all your damage glory. I always messed up the title. It's a book by. By Raphael Bob Waksberg, who created BoJack Horseman. It's like a bunch of short stories about love and identity.

[Steve Berg]

You have good taste. Great taste.

[Eric Edelstein]

Will.

[Steve Berg]

One of us Will, what's on your mind today? How can Eric and I help you?

[Will (Caller)]

All right, so this question. I don't know if it's weird enough for you guys, but it might be.

[Eric Edelstein]

So

[Will (Caller)]

my ex and I split up about a year ago. They are an artist, and they moved into a smaller apartment so they couldn't store all their stuff. So I agreed to hold on to their sculpture, which, I'm not sure if you guys have the picture, but it's about 6ft tall. It's sort of like a self portrait soft sculpture of a human body with, you know, hands and feet and stuff. And so I wrapped. We wrapped it in cellophane, and I put it on the bottom of a deep closet in my apartment, and after doing so, I realized it kind of looks like a dead body.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, I was gonna say wrapped in plastic. I mean. Yeah, Thematic here. Laura Palmer. Very. I mean. Okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay, Morgan, can we see a picture of this?

[Steve Berg]

Oh, my God.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay, I'm calling the cops, right? I'm calling the f. I think this is a giant front. I think you're playing chess. Oh, I have a sculpture.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, and look at that.

[Eric Edelstein]

There's two neighbors missing. He's in my crawl space.

[Steve Berg]

I was gonna say, by the way. Yeah, that is a literal crawl space. I mean, I'm not just. I'm not just doing like, the whole, like. Oh, yeah, check the crawl space. This is. Actually looks like a dead body wrapped in plastic. In the crawl space.

[Will (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

First question. Like, why aren't you displaying it? Why is it wrapped in plastic? Like. Like, do you not want to display it?

[Will (Caller)]

So, I mean, part of it is I am a single man now, and I think it'd be weird to bring someone over to my apartment with a sculpture with my ex's face on it. Like, it's like a silicone face of your ex.

[Steve Berg]

It's like, I didn't put that together. I didn't put that together.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay, well, I'm gonna start with this. As long as that sculpture's in your home, you're entrenched with your ex.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You can't move on until that's. That's. That's there.

[Will (Caller)]

I Mean, I don't agree with that. Like, we're buddies. Like, I think everything's cool there. But I mean, that's, you know, for another.

[Steve Berg]

I don't know, buddy. I feel.

[Eric Edelstein]

I think it's great.

[Steve Berg]

Your friends.

[Eric Edelstein]

That tells us a lot about you. And you're definitely weird here listener, to be on such great terms with your ex. But, yeah, see why you're not displaying it. But so is the main reason you're calling that you want to know how to diplomatically get rid of this. This.

[Will (Caller)]

Either that or, like, have a way to explain it to people. Like, I don't know, if someone goes to go in my closet to get paper towel or something, say, hey, by the way, it's not a body in there.

[Steve Berg]

You know, I'm gonna reference a fine film of the early 1980s called the naked Gun. And Eric, remember. Do you remember in the first act of the movie where Frank Drebin is driving to that place in San Diego, and there's these two mounds that look like breasts, and he goes. Everywhere I look, I'm always reminded of her, and I feel like we might be in a Frank Drebin situation. Okay. Okay. Well, we have a lot to discuss here, so. Okay, first, I didn't put together that this was in her likeness. Yeah, interesting. I mean, even. Even if your friends. Okay, so is the big want. Like, you want to display it, but you. You want, like, a nice, quick, easy story for any potential dates that might come over?

[Will (Caller)]

I mean, I don't know if I want to display it. Like, it's a great piece of art, I think. But. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe.

[Steve Berg]

Maybe I will.

[Eric Edelstein]

So here's the idea. Question, Will, why can't your ex have it? Why is it at your place?

[Will (Caller)]

So the apartment they moved into is very small or like the storage space, like, they don't have a lot of storage. This is a very big piece.

[Steve Berg]

How long. So you broke up a year ago, right? You said about a year ago. How long have you been store. For a year. In the crawl space?

[Will (Caller)]

No. So for a while, it was actually just, like, sitting out. So I finished out our lease downstairs, and then it was just sitting in the apartment kind of on display a little bit. And then when I moved. So I moved into a new apartment above my old apartment that's smaller.

[Steve Berg]

Okay.

[Will (Caller)]

And that's when I wrapped it up.

[Steve Berg]

And that was how long ago?

[Will (Caller)]

A few months ago. And then it set out for a bit in this apartment until we could wrap it, because rapping it was a Whole ordeal. But it's been in the closet for about a month or two.

[Steve Berg]

I mean, well, look, I mean, obviously we're different people from probably different walks of life, but we have different commonalities. You have good taste in music. So do I.

[Will (Caller)]

Thank you.

[Steve Berg]

Here's the thing.

[Morgan Nally]

Thing.

[Steve Berg]

I, I, I am a big believer on, you know, pushing forward while acknowledging and honoring the past. But I think.

[Will (Caller)]

Right.

[Steve Berg]

I think you have in terms of like the time limit of storing something for a friend. Three months is generous. From where I come from, like, I have been in situations like in Eric, you know, in la, people are coming, they're going, they're moving. Like, oh, okay, start this love seat here. And you're like, sure, man. But after like a month, I'm like, hey, buddy, you need to pick this out or figure out a different situation. Because an apartment is a finite amount of space and every inch counts. And also it's like, I gotta admit, man, like, if I'm going, like, if I was going over to like, someone's house, you know, like a first date, and they're like, hey, wanna come over? This has been a great night. We just had some Philly cheesesteak sandwiches and pictures of beer. Let's go, let's continue.

[Eric Edelstein]

Not. They probably didn't do that, Steve. It's a whole stereotype. Haven't fill at all.

[Steve Berg]

It's a great, it's a great sandwich.

[Will (Caller)]

I mean, how the dates go.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay, all right, all right, I stand corrected.

[Steve Berg]

I'm wrong. It's a great, it's a great sandwich. He gets a whiz. Whiz or no whiz? You know, both. I think so. But if, if, if, if a date comes over to your house and you have this, this first off, if, if they were to accidentally, like, ah, what's this? And they open it up and that's the crawl space. They're jumping out the window. If they were smart.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, you're running for life.

[Steve Berg]

That's that, That's, Yeah, that's a serial killer right there. Now, I'm not saying you are, but, like, if I.

[Eric Edelstein]

The way it's displayed right now, it's crazier in hell. Now here's the other. Here's a pitch I have, Will. What if you lean into it? What if you display it And Because I think it's actually a great thing, I think it's great advertising for our buddy Will, the thrill of life. Like, I'm so cool with my ex. I have their art up.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Or if seeing their face is keeping you from moving on or focusing your current date. You go on to Alibaba, you order yourself an Elvis or a William Shatner mask and never look back. Decorated for Halloween. That's Santa at Christmas or Hanukkah Harry. It becomes a totem of all these holidays because I think right now it's terrifying. The way it's wrapped up is terrifying. And you're gonna have people cutting through your screen door to escape. But if you have it up and you're like, oh, yeah, that's my exes. But I'm so cool with them. I'm holding on to their stuff for them. I think that's a gold star in Will's column. Steve.

[Steve Berg]

I. I don't. I don't disagree. I also say that it's funny you said Halloween and that mask, because William Shatner, the Michael Myers mask, is basically based off William Shatters, and I'm not getting any residuals.

[Eric Edelstein]

They made seven pictures, Steve. Not one.

[Steve Berg]

That's not one. He's making a metal album now. Did you hear about that?

[Eric Edelstein]

I, you know, via day one. And I'll be there if he does a signing. I'm going to the Burbank. I'm going to the Burbank Collectors show next month to get my Transform man sign, which I talked to him once about it. I'm like, I blast a Transform man bill with the top down. People love it. Oh, God, do they really?

[Steve Berg]

Quick side. Hey, quick side.

[Eric Edelstein]

Mr. Tambourine Man.

[Steve Berg]

Quick side note, Mr. Tambourine Man. Erica and I one time thought, William Shatner, where the were we? Thousand notes.

[Eric Edelstein]

I mean, yeah, the Candy Club.

[Steve Berg]

I drink. I drink 17 bottles of cheap red wine sitting at the table. I mean, I, like, I remember I couldn't even walk. And it was. It was a shit show for me. I was.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, it was a shit show for all of us because we also went to Wendy's and Burger King, drive through within the same hour. That's what some people might call lomo. Well, Will, what do you think about displaying it? Like, actually leaning into this and putting it out?

[Will (Caller)]

So I wasn't down for displaying it as is, but I think decorating it. I don't know why I didn't think. Yeah, I think that is a great idea.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, have fun. Like, dress it as Elvis, dress it as Santa, dress it as David Lynch. Like, there's so much fun. Philadelphia World Series, right? You throw a Bryce Harper jersey on that thing.

[Steve Berg]

Allen Iverson. Oh, yeah, we love Iverson. We're here to help. Look, I Love the idea of. So, like, I. I really love the idea of taking. Taking like, a Philadelphia icon who you find a person of significance, whether it's an artist, athlete, or just a good Samaritan, and dressing it in their likeness. I think that would be so fun and so cool and probably. I mean, like, I think if you put it up as is. I don't know, man. That's. That's creeps right there. And then I'll honestly. Even if. Even if no one's looking in that crawl space, knowing that that thing's in the crawl space, that's one of the scariest pictures I've ever seen in my entire life. Life, Will, you might have scared me for life.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, because it's. It's not standing. It's on the ground. I bet if you unfurled it, I will. Is clearly only going to be with a talented artist, and I bet they did an incredible piece. And. And now, you know, we're going to bring this thing out and let it be seen. There might be a mask on it at times, but, like, we're. We're, you know, plowing the ground and we're bringing up something fertile.

[Steve Berg]

Now, the sicko bit. The sicko way would be go to get a couple other mannequins and wrap them up in plastic and put them in that crawl space, and there's like, three or four.

[Will (Caller)]

Okay.

[Steve Berg]

Just like,

[Eric Edelstein]

put up a sign that says, you, Mom.

[Steve Berg]

So what I went to. What were we gonna say?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, there's a lot you can do here, Will. And honestly, I think the idea of hiding it because of dates, I think it's something you lean into. Like, the second I heard that you're genuinely cool with your ex, that's how you judge a lot of people. People like. I love those friends where it's like, you go to their birthday parties. Like, my friend, you know, she's friends with three or four of her exes that she lived with for years, and I'm like, what? What a feather in her cap to have all these people. There are no secrets. There's no boundaries. It's all just skin. And they're still friends, you know?

[Will (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

Wait, can you preach that?

[Eric Edelstein]

I don't know. I think.

[Steve Berg]

What is it all. I could. I don't think I got.

[Will (Caller)]

No, I tried.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, he got it, Will. Got it. Well, those of us with deep, beautiful voices understand each other, Steve.

[Will (Caller)]

Yeah, Sorry.

[Eric Edelstein]

Also, Will, you got to do voice work. Like, at least look into it. Like, you have one of the great voices. I've Ever heard.

[Steve Berg]

Well, so let's pitch some ideas of people you would consider dressing up as in terms of likeness. I mean, honestly, the first one that I would probably do David lynch because that hair would be fun to play with. You can really have power.

[Eric Edelstein]

Right?

[Steve Berg]

And put like a nice, like, you know, you know, black blazer, black tie. Put an American spirit in the. In the fingertips. I mean, that could be pretty cool.

[Eric Edelstein]

But you can also do Ethan Hawke from the Lowdown. Get that denim chest. No, but he likes his movie and I like him.

[Steve Berg]

That's a good point. We love Ethan too.

[Will (Caller)]

Eric. To build off of that. I mean, I could do Eric Edelstein from the Lowdown.

[Eric Edelstein]

Thank you.

[Steve Berg]

Now we're cooking, you know, now we're

[Eric Edelstein]

dipping a toe into white supremacy and what I played in that and you know, but I like where you're going.

[Steve Berg]

I like where you are.

[Eric Edelstein]

We could. You could do me from Jurassic World with a big chunk of bitten out of me. But I like where you're going there. And then I'm going to be on a new show called the Burroughs. And I'll send you my sheriff's jacket for that. If you ever want to do that, celebrate that because it comes out May 21st.

[Steve Berg]

Are you Sheriff in that?

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, it's security, but I'm basically a sheriff. Yeah. You'll see, Steve. There's a whole world unwrapped. But like, I love the idea of him celebrating me with this art.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, me too. Me too. I love this.

[Eric Edelstein]

And you, we can mix in you, your ghosts characters dress like Mr. Furley. It's iconic.

[Steve Berg]

It is. I do think I. I can put

[Will (Caller)]

your calendar right next to it, so.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, there we go. There we go.

[Eric Edelstein]

Now we're talking gracing. We're opening the space and things are.

[Steve Berg]

You can have a weird hair to help. I. I love. I think I actually, Eric, when you said the. Because the. The moment you get killed in Jurassic park is so iconic and so fucking amazing. I saw it in the theater. I think we were all together. I know. I think I was with Johnson. I think we were surprising. I think we were hammered.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, I know we were. I know we were.

[Steve Berg]

We used to drink a lot. Will, but.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, palace of wisdom, Will.

[Steve Berg]

Yes, but I. Okay, Eric is dressed amazing in that scene. Look, go. Go back and watch that. Or pull up some. You. You'll easily be able to find some stills of Eric in that. I. That would be my vote because it's Is so iconic. You could even have some phone with it. Like, he. He has A chunk ripped out of him.

[Eric Edelstein]

You could have a little dinosaur next to me. And you can buy that outfit online too.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, my God. Can you really?

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah, you can buy that out and in the Jurassic World. Jurassic park museum in Hawaii, they've got a fake me there.

[Steve Berg]

Are you serious?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

And then in Universal at the Jurassic Ride, they got someone dressed like.

[Steve Berg]

Are you getting residual for this?

[Eric Edelstein]

No, I'm not. They apparently put a fake big stomach on them at Universal.

[Steve Berg]

Okay, we have a lawsuit. We'll talk about that off the air. I know a.

[Eric Edelstein]

You're not invol this. Yeah, you are.

[Steve Berg]

Will, you're gonna get a taste of this.

[Will (Caller)]

I would. I appreciate that. I love a good loss.

[Eric Edelstein]

Well, I think this is awesome because you can also just rotate that up. So you're gonna keep continually dress it up. When Ghost premieres. You're gonna put it in Steve's outfit tonight.

[Steve Berg]

CBS at 8:30.

[Will (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, look at that. Hold on. Does your episode premiere tonight?

[Steve Berg]

It does. It does.

[Eric Edelstein]

Hold on. Are you serious?

[Steve Berg]

Oh, yeah. But no one's gonna hear this live, so hold on.

[Eric Edelstein]

You're head to head with me on Law and Order. Watch Steve.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, no.

[Eric Edelstein]

Watch Steve. No one needs to see me have a child in Steve Berg, please. I support Steve Burger and Ghost more than me having a child in a cage. We're head to Headburg. How about that?

[Steve Berg]

Much better actor than you'll be.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, I have a child in a cage. Will. Watch Steve watch Funniest Man Alive. Oh, I love. We're both on TV though, tonight, Steve. That's a good thing, Will, you're part of this. You're part of the celebration. Because we both have had lean moments, so we don't take this lightly.

[Steve Berg]

Exactly.

[Will (Caller)]

Yeah. But no, we can go back and watch both of them, so don't worry.

[Eric Edelstein]

Okay, thanks.

[Steve Berg]

All right. Will.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. Will, you're here to help.

[Steve Berg]

Well, you know, it's like. It's like. Well, I think. I think Will actually helped us and,

[Eric Edelstein]

you know, more than we helped.

[Steve Berg]

That's exactly right. We basically talked him into creating.

[Eric Edelstein]

Do we have to send him our paycheck?

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, exactly.

[Eric Edelstein]

Will.

[Steve Berg]

Check.

[Eric Edelstein]

Jake Johnson's got a check on the way to you, Will. Okay. That first cost is going to be paid for with New Girl residual

[Steve Berg]

Mini Smithsonian of, you know, know your. Your dedication to the show. Enough, buddy. I mean, what more can I say? I think that's this is a dream come true.

[Eric Edelstein]

So, Will, you know what I'm going to say now you are stuck with us and we want to be involved in this evolving costume. So send us pictures. I would also love in the spirit of this podcast, since we think it's awesome you're on such good terms with your ex. I would love a picture of you, your ex, and the costume when it's dressed up. And if they're offended by any mask play, say, these two yahoos on the Internet asked me to do this. But we're also honoring your artistic piece. Instead of having it hidden like a terrifying body in a cross,

[Steve Berg]

just for the sake of the universe and my own me being able to sleep at night, let's get that thing on the crawl space sooner rather than later, my man, because that is truly. Hopefully we can post that when we release this. We'll maybe post a computer, but because people should see this. I mean, if you're okay with it, Will, if we have your consent.

[Will (Caller)]

I mean.

[Steve Berg]

I mean, I'm saying it as a bit. It's very. It's funny, but also it's genuinely terrifying.

[Will (Caller)]

That is what. That's why I'm here.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

We often a thing we do on this is lean into it.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

And we're gonna lean into this glorious piece of art. We're gonna lean into your ex's incredible talent.

[Steve Berg]

Yep.

[Eric Edelstein]

And your incredible, still great relationship with them. And it's just on. I can't wait to see this glorious sculpture dressed as Allen Iverson.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, can you imagine?

[Eric Edelstein]

AI, the answer.

[Steve Berg]

The answer.

[Eric Edelstein]

He called it a question, and the answer was the answer.

[Steve Berg]

Absolutely. And if.

[Eric Edelstein]

Will you feel good health today? I think you helped us more.

[Will (Caller)]

I mean. Yeah, but it goes both ways. I. Yeah. Just to the audience, don't forget, watch Law and Order with Eric months ago, and then watch Go with Steve also probably like a month ago by Paramount. Plus Peacock.

[Steve Berg]

Hell yeah.

[Will (Caller)]

There you go.

[Steve Berg]

There you go.

[Eric Edelstein]

This was incredible. Guest helper Will.

[Steve Berg]

Wow.

[Eric Edelstein]

Co host Will from Philadelphia. We love you. You're stuck with us. We want pictures.

[Steve Berg]

You're one of the greats. Yeah. You're in the hall of fame instantly, Will. Okay. Okay.

[Will (Caller)]

Thank you.

[Steve Berg]

All right, brother, you have a great day. Go get yourself a cheese steak, baby. Got socks. Maybe. Sweet. Like, remember the G special?

[Will (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

I like that young he was singing about. I like high school. I don't know if I can tolerate it now, but, yeah, back in the day, I was a big fan, but again, Kurt Vile. God. God bless. Why am I, like, shouting out every Philadelphia thing I know? Because that's who I am.

[Eric Edelstein]

Because it's the spirit of Steven. It's alive enough.

[Steve Berg]

We Love it.

[Eric Edelstein]

You got it. Philadelphia.

[Hester (Caller)]

Yes.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yes.

[Steve Berg]

Bryce Harper. Ben Franklin.

[Eric Edelstein]

You got it.

[Steve Berg]

All right, my man. Well, hey, you have.

[Eric Edelstein]

Thank you, guys.

[Steve Berg]

Fantastic weekend and enjoy a nice meal tonight, friend.

[Will (Caller)]

All right. Thank you.

[Steve Berg]

And get that out of the crawl space. Okay.

[Eric Edelstein]

Start moving down there right now. We're letting this cage bird out. Out.

[Steve Berg]

Bye, buddy.

[Will (Caller)]

All right, bye.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, I love it. So, Steve, there's a chance this might air the day after it airs Friday.

[Steve Berg]

That works.

[Eric Edelstein]

But everybody watch Ghosts.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Eric Edelstein]

Because Seabiscuit is about to run around that track and I'm seating. Do not watch ghosts before Law and Order. There's no need to see me with a child in a cage. Watch Steve Burb soar on cbs.

[Steve Berg]

Fucking watch. Dude. I'm watching the out of that.

[Eric Edelstein]

How about that? We're both on a tv.

[Steve Berg]

Isn't that a beautiful thing?

[Eric Edelstein]

We're survivors.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah. We are journeymen.

[Eric Edelstein]

We're journeyman.

[Steve Berg]

Right back in.

[Eric Edelstein]

I love it. I feel like we gave Will great advice.

[Steve Berg]

That was a perfect.

[Eric Edelstein]

And we probably just saved him from at least getting detained by police.

[Steve Berg]

I'll be honest. I was not. I was being genuinely serious when he. I saw that picture of that body in the crawl space. It scared me, dude. Good. That's good.

[Eric Edelstein]

I could tell.

[Steve Berg]

But easy. I actually watch true crime. I read true crime books. Was too much for old Burgo.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah. That was just almost too much for me in the True crime. That was. That's it. But I think it's freed. I think it's great. He's got a great relationship with his ex.

[Steve Berg]

I'm very happy that he's. He's put. He's gonna display it and then make it fun and lovely. I hope he does.

[Eric Edelstein]

Yeah.

[Steve Berg]

I hope he does do a Lynch or I hope he does do you from Jurassic like that. That's. That's fun. That's the way to celebrate it.

[Eric Edelstein]

I think he's gonna do you from Ghosts. I think you're. I think the beginning of an iconic character airs this Thursday. And I think hearing how you dressed in that, it's. This dead body is going to be

[Steve Berg]

dressed and I'm very excited. I look pretty cool, I'll be honest.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, that's so great.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, it was. I'll tell you what, the boots very uncomfortable when you're flat footed though. Ouch.

[Eric Edelstein]

They like the cowboy boots.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, Eric, they were thin. They're come. You know, they're like Joel boots from BJ Brian Jonestown Massacre. Oh. Which I felt great in him because, you know, a big guy like me I can't wear boots like that, but I was forced to for work. And so I'm like, look, I'm gonna at least enjoy the moment. But boy.

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, I had a pair of cool cowboy boots, and then the knee pain I had to get rid of.

[Steve Berg]

I've been waiting to get combo boots my whole life, and I just don't think I could do it. I don't. I think.

[Eric Edelstein]

No, heal. Get them without the heel. They're called ropers.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, but I don't. I want that. The heel is cool. I know, but we can't, buddy.

[Eric Edelstein]

We have big guys with knee pain.

[Steve Berg]

Sucks.

[Eric Edelstein]

We are meant to look like Cart Gable.

[Steve Berg]

You're right.

[Eric Edelstein]

Sorry, buddy.

[Steve Berg]

You're right.

[Eric Edelstein]

All right, here's a good reference for you kids. Happily. All right, everybody, we want to thank Will so much. We want to thank Will's ex. Watch Ghost tonight on CBS for Steven Berg. And if this airs on Friday, then that means you should watch the night before. But go see Steve Berg as he begins his incredible run of ghosts. Oh, we love you, everybody.

[Steve Berg]

Bye.

[Eric Edelstein]

Bye.

[Steve Berg]

Bye.

[Eric Edelstein]

Weird Here to Help is hosted by Eric Edelstein and Steve Berg. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your [e-mail] weirdohelp

[Steve Berg]

was produced and edited by the great Morgan Nally.

[Eric Edelstein]

Remember, all the advice given by Weird Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only.

[Steve Berg]

All listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. Right, Eric?

[Eric Edelstein]

Oh, big time. Please. I barely listen to myself. That was a Headgum podcast. That was a Headgum podcast.