278: Ya Filthy Animal & The Real London

Summary

Podcast Summary: We're Here to Help

Episode 278: "Ya Filthy Animal & The Real London"
Air Date: April 6, 2026
Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds embrace their self-appointed, “barely qualified advice-givers” personas as they respond to listener dilemmas with their trademark combination of earnestness, comedy, and long-time-friend banter. This episode’s major themes include confronting irrational (and rational!) fears, spicing up repetitive life experiences, and using humor to reframe everyday annoyances. Listener calls cover:

• How to convince a partner to go backpacking despite bear-phobia
• Surviving endless tourist duty in London without losing your mind
• Dealing with camping, wildlife, and international friendship validation

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter: Aging, Parties, and “Fridge Sigs”

[00:44 - 07:19]

• Jake and Gareth commiserate about getting older, preferring bed over bar hopping, and how home life changes post-party years.
• Introduce the millennial/Gen-Z term “fridge sig” (what Gen Z calls grabbing a Diet Coke)—Jake finds it accurate and amusing.
• Cigarettes vs. vapes vs. Diet Coke as “adult treats,” and deep-dives into the aesthetic failings of vaping:

  “Bed’s the new alcohol.” – Jake [01:43]
  “If you’re going to do one, don’t smoke a box with a little tube out of it. Just smoke a cigarette.” – Jake [03:30]

• Commentary on how “cool” products always seem to get bought out by big corporations (chips, pretzels, etc).
• Riffs on old comedy bits and references (“Chris Rock - How much for ribs?”).

2. Caller 1: Backpacking in Bear Country — How to Address Fear

[11:06 - 36:00]
Caller: Dane, from Jackson, Wyoming
Dilemma: Dane’s girlfriend (Kelsey) is afraid of backpacking in grizzly territory, despite loving the outdoors. He seeks advice to help her overcome her fear so they can finally camp overnight in the Tetons or Yellowstone.

Key Details:

• Dane and Kelsey both have outdoor experience—Kelsey is specifically worried about sleeping in bear country.
• Grizzlies are a real concern in Jackson Hole: ~1,100 in the region.

Hosts’ Pitches:

• One-Night “Watch Duty”: On the first trip, Dane stays up all night, “on watch,” so Kelsey can rest and break the mental seal of sleeping in grizzly country.

  “You don’t sleep that first night. She does. ‘Cause you want her to get comfortable doing this.” – Jake [17:02]

• Scare Bear/Decoy Tent: Set up a fake tent farther away, equipped with sound (Home Alone audio, bells, or recorded “get outta here” warnings) to deter bears.
• Humor-based Distraction:
  • Play movie soundbites: “Keep the change, ya filthy animal!” from Home Alone on a loop in the decoy tent, theorizing this will scare off curious bears.

Call Highlights & Memorable Quotes

• “I guess they just brought the hammer down.” – Dane on his friends partying harder than he does [01:28]
• “My only concern with something like that is … park rangers might wonder about hearing gunshots from Home Alone.” – Dane [24:30]
• “I gotta say, all those cultures—I hate cigar shops.” – Jake [04:25]
• “Never sweeten the meat.” – Gareth, warning against honey-soaked decoy clothing [27:34]
• Dane’s own ideas (all gently skewered by the hosts): honey-soaked decoys, gaslighting, VR simulations, snoring/farting decoy tent, and ‘Jewish men in bear costumes’ as practice “cage matches.”
  • “I don’t hate a fart machine... but probably it would attract an animal.” – Jake [29:24]

Collective Solution

• Combine the decoy tent (with low-volume sound) strategy and document the experience (audio, video).
• Encourage safety first: food in bear cans, hang scented items far from sleeping area, and prevention as key.
• Dane agrees to the plan and will involve the hosts for a follow-up with Kelsey.

  “If we never hear from them again, we don’t need to claim responsibility.” – Gareth [31:42]

---

3. Caller 2: How to Enjoy Playing “London Tour Guide” for Endless Guests

[39:18 - 55:03]
Caller: Hannah, an American from Chicago living in London
Dilemma: She’s “cranky” from playing host/tour guide for a stream of visiting friends and family. She loves her people but dreads another round of bus tours and cucumber sandwiches. How can she make it fun (and not resent it)?

Core Problem:

• She’s not burned out on her people, but on repeating tourist routines.

Hosts’ Solution: Gamified Fake History & Tour Quizzes

• Use humor and subversion: Start injecting fake facts with real ones (“3 truths and a lie” about each location).
• For extra fun, print up a “quiz” for visitors at the end of the outing, revealing the fake facts over drinks.

  “Most of these bricks are from, like, 1740. But the brighter ones? 1931. There was a whole thing…” – Gareth, riffing on fake history [44:09] “For every three real facts, give one that you made up… It becomes a game.” – Jake [47:03]

• Suggest creating an “itinerary” sheet (The Hannah Guide), with three true facts and one “ringer” for each stop, to keep everyone guessing.
• Let visitors in on the fun at the end so they’re included, not tricked.
• Use leaderboard or rankings (who scores highest on the quiz?) for long-term entertainment.
• Bonus: Try to coordinate with restaurant staff to treat her guests as “the mayor of London” for extra memorable moments.

Hannah’s Take:

• Loves the “gamify” angle, relieves her boredom, and keeps guests engaged.
• Plans to start the quiz that very night!

---

4. Callback: Resolution & Bear Safety Education

[56:08 - 75:08]

• Dane and Kelsey return for a live verdict on the camping plan—Kelsey gets to weigh in.
• Kelsey clarifies: She’s not phobic, she’s cautious because she has actual hiking/camping guide experience.

  “It’s not all bears that do this; it’s the ‘problem’ bears… Most bears want to avoid you. Just take your precautions!” – Kelsey [65:55, 67:51]

• The show pivots: Kelsey becomes a mini-expert and public service announcement for rational outdoor safety.
• Final plan: Kelsey controls all bear safety; Dane agrees to follow instructions (no ego, just obedience).
• The couple will document their June/July trip for the podcast audience, providing proof and reassurance.
• Kelsey plugs the value of wolves in Yellowstone as “keystone species” and encourages listeners to look up the impact of their reintroduction.

  “If anybody listening is interested, look up the Yellowstone reintroduction of wolves. It’s so fascinating…” – Kelsey [70:14]

---

5. Listeners Around the World: Thai and Slovenian Callers

[77:31 - 78:57]

• Thai and Slovenian fans call in to confirm the show’s global reach and thank the hosts.

  “The show is really important to the Thai fanbase, as Jake mentions!” – Thai caller [77:31]
  “Now I’m finally caught up, I don’t know what I’ll do with my free time!” – Zala, Slovenia [78:44]

---

Notable Quotes & Segments

“Bed’s the new alcohol.”
— Jake, admitting his new version of “cutting loose” is just sleeping [01:43]

“Never sweeten the meat.”
— Gareth, warning about attracting bears with honey-soaked clothing [27:34]

“You don’t have to play it loud—just enough so if a bear’s hunting, it comes out of nowhere.”
— Jake, on playing Home Alone audio as a bear deterrent [24:44]

“For every three real facts, give one that you made up… It becomes a game.”
— Jake, encouraging Hannah to spice up repetitive “tour guide” duty [47:03]

“Most bears want to avoid you. Just take your precautions!”
— Kelsey, demystifying bear danger [67:51]

Timestamps of Key Segments

• [00:44] Partying, aging, and the “fridge sig”
• [11:06] Dane’s bear-country camping dilemma
• [17:02] “Watch duty” as first-night bear reassurance
• [24:30] “Home Alone” decoy tent solution
• [39:18] Hannah’s “tourist fatigue” in London
• [44:09] Riffing on fake British history
• [56:08] Follow-up with Dane & Kelsey: bear safety, consent, and education
• [70:14] The ecological value of wolves, per Kelsey’s passionate mini-lecture
• [77:31] International listeners call in

---

Episode Tone & Takeaways

• Playful, sometimes absurd, but grounded in genuine concern and community—a mixture of “tipsy uncle wisdom,” real talk, and improv.
• Hosts deftly balance humor with empathy, never ridiculing real fears or problems, but always offering a side of laughter.
• Listeners are encouraged to submit their own dilemmas and to follow up with “proof” of advice in action.
• Practical Tips: when facing repetitious life annoyances, gamify the experience; when facing big fears, break them down, add humor, but respect real risks; always “never sweeten the meat” for wildlife.

The “We’re Here to Help” mission is clear: help people feel less alone in their weird worries, and always keep things fun.

Transcript

[A]

This is a Headgum podcast. This is a Headgum podcast. And we are back. So you went out. You got a dollop show live. You went out and got drunk with the team last night.

[B]

Yes. I was saying this to you. We were up until. I was up until 2 and I was like, I gotta get out of here. And Dave, who I do the dollop with, is. He's. I think he's 11 years older than me, but, I mean, he just can go. And they stayed up till 4:30.

[A]

It's wild.

[B]

It's just foreign to me. But I. I learned that the. When we first started going on the road, I always thought he would be the guy who would be, you know, like, we should go. Because he's like, he's the adult. It feels like, yeah. And instead he's the guy who's like, they have a. There's a house we could go to now. This girl. And I'm like, what are you talk. You were 54 years old, sir. You didn't. We should not be doing this.

[A]

It's over.

[B]

It's over. It's time to go. And so I just always leave. And I left last night. He just. I guess they just brought the hammer down.

[A]

I have become a Always leave early. You have. And, and, and by the way, I'm not mad about it.

[B]

Bed's the new alcohol.

[A]

It is. I was finishing work yesterday and I. I was like, you know, it's the last day. And when I wasn't in the past, what I would always do is either get drunk or smoke some weed and blah, blah, blah. But I'm like, you know what? I'm not. I don't need that right now.

[C]

Nothing.

[A]

So I just, I just didn't. You know, my kids came, my wife and kids came. We all hanging out on set.

[B]

That's cool.

[A]

Came home, did homework. I was like, it just didn't have that old party vibe. It was nice, but it was just different. But the one thing I did is I went in the. A little crafty cooler, and I grabbed a Diet Coke. And this guy, this guy goes to me and he goes, oh, you're grabbing a fridge Sig. And I go, fridge Sig? And he was, you know, a generation younger. He goes, yeah, we call Diet Cokes fridge cigs. Wow. And I went, that's accurate.

[B]

That is accurate.

[A]

I am grabbing a fridge Sig because it felt.

[B]

I was like, yeah, it's like a treat.

[A]

I'm having a segment. And back in the day, it would go, you know what? I'm Gonna do. I'm in the alley with some of the crew. Hey, man, can I. You got spirits yellow. Can I bum one of those? And they would go, yeah, no problem. And you go, holy cow, does this taste great. Remember those days, smoking a cigarette in 2026. That's insane. And I'm not doing a vape like a goofball. I'm not gonna smoke a flashlight and be.

[B]

I used to vape this week.

[A]

Me too. But I was like, this stupid box. This is what you had, the box. This is what vaping looks like. Hey, man, it's the dumbest thing. Oh, it looks terrible. It's crazy terrible.

[C]

It's.

[B]

No matter what you say, cigarettes, terrible for you. Glad I quit them. But the look, the aesthetic.

[A]

Going to do one. If you're going to do one, don't smoke a box with a little tube out of it. Just smoke a cigarette.

[B]

No. Well, that's also.

[A]

Don't do either. But if you're going to do one.

[B]

If you're walking by someone vaping, it's hard to look cool when you're like, hey, man, that's cool. Cinnamon.

[A]

Yes, exactly.

[B]

Nice donuts.

[A]

There's also way too much exhale smoke.

[B]

Oh, it's crazy.

[A]

It looks like a sports car that's doing donuts. Where they're like. You'll be sitting next to somebody in traffic and they'll exhale. And I'm like, is there a fire in your head?

[B]

When I vaped, I remember going into a vape shop a couple times, and the hang culture in the vape shop, to me was one of the most disturbing things I've been around. They were having, like, plume competitions.

[C]

No.

[B]

Were like blowing O's. And then they were walking through the plume like it was. And I was just the worst. I was like, I can't be associated.

[A]

I gotta say, all those cultures. I hate. I hate little cigar shops. Yeah, I. I agree. Like nine guys sitting around and there's so much cigar smoke. And you're like, stop it. This is not as cool as you guys think.

[B]

I agree. And when you. Again, when it becomes like a defining characteristic. But vaping was like. If hacky sacking could be.

[A]

Vaping would be like. If Scar had a place.

[B]

It was Scar smoking. It really was. And you were just like.

[A]

It was that whole culture.

[B]

Look, do it. If you try to quit cigarettes, we don't know what you're doing yet. But it's maybe better than cigarettes. Run away from the cultural aspects of this. Run away.

[A]

But I will. I do Remember that there was two brands of cigarettes, one American Spirits back in the 90s. I was told that it came from a Native American tribe.

[B]

Same.

[A]

And it was just tobacco.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I remember literally being like, it's good for you. In some ways, I remember thinking that I'm not an idiot smoking a Parliament Light.

[B]

No.

[A]

I'm smoking what a native guy would have smoked. And guess what? In some ways, I'm healthy.

[B]

Yeah. It felt like you were like, look, I'm apologizing to the indigenous cultures.

[A]

Yeah. But also, this is the same. It came from the earth. What's the difference between this and a veggie? Besides that I'm smoking was grown from the earth. The reason I don't like Marvel Lights is because I get it, man. I know the man is cutting that with chemicals. And then while I was in it, they're like, you know, this was bought out by the people who dude marvels. And I went like, I'm just not gonna listen to that. I'm not prepared to listen to that.

[B]

Every time. Every time you find a little brand where you're like, hey, cool. It's a mom and pop, you're like, oh, Hershey bought it. That's a shame.

[A]

Well, they just did. There was, like, a potato chip or not a potato chip. Some, like, tortilla chip. That was like a baked chip. And it was like, these are pretty good. They were. You know, and then all of a sudden, they're like, it's owned by the people who do LAYS now and Pepsi. And I'm like, I hate you guys.

[B]

I know. That happened. Dot everything you ever have Dots pretzels? No, Best pretzels in the world. Then all of a sudden. Yeah, sold it then. Now they're. It's like six. It's you. It's like buying an eighth of weed. If you buy a bag of Dots pretzels, they are. It is like $25 a bag. She's lost her mind.

[A]

Yeah. By the way, hearing the term an eighth of weed takes me right back to being 20 and being like, okay, I've got 25 to $32. Can I get an eighth, please? You know, whatever. You got the Chris Rock scene, and I'm gonna get you, sucker.

[B]

How much.

[A]

How much for ribs? $2.50. How many you give it a five. All right, how much for one rib? How much for Diet Coke?

[B]

Pour it in my hand. Got changed for 100,

[A]

everybody. Enjoy the show.

[B]

Hey, everybody, we just want to remind you, if you want to watch new episodes of we're here to help. It drops a day early on Hulu so you can watch the new episode a day early. And we're also dropping a bunch of older episodes from season one and season two, so get involved.

[A]

This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Omaha Steaks. I always got my protein, my chicken, from grocery stores. Then I saw some ad about how disgusting it is and how the food just sits on the shelves and I was like, I don't know, that's a little nasty. I don't like this idea of nasty protein. It's disgusting. And then I looked into Omaha Steaks and I liked how they were doing stuff. They partnered up with us and I got a box of it and the food was excellent, clean and it was easy. And it worked for Jakester.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

We have used Rocket Money on the show for a ton of stuff. We love Rocket Money, but, you know, we download all these apps or you get a free trial for something and you pay for it once and you go, oh, I'm done paying for that. And then you forget about it. Well, Rocket Money is here to remind you of it. Rocket Money will give you all these things that you're paying for and it'll be like, are you sure about this? And you'll go, I'm actually really not sure about this. And then you can get rid of it. But it also helps you save money in a ton of other ways. I was paying for a Packers radio station for years. I had fitness app accounts. I'm not proud to say. I think I kept thinking, you know, I'm going to get in shape soon. And then I was like, oh, God, no. I failed myself. And now I feel guilty. But I still got rid of It So I worked the thumbs out.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Hello.

[C]

Howdy, guys.

[A]

Hey, how are you?

[C]

Good. How are you guys doing?

[A]

Good. I'm loving the accent when I hear howdy. Where are you calling from?

[C]

I am calling from Jackson, Wyoming. Ultimate is Jackson Hole.

[A]

Jackson, Wyoming is great. You know, my family took two medications when I was growing up. One to Jackson Hole and one to New York city, both in 1986.

[C]

Oh, my goodness. The year before I was born.

[A]

The year before you. We eve decided to take some trips that summer.

[B]

What a run. What a year.

[C]

Awesome.

[A]

So have you been out here?

[B]

I have and I love it. There's not a. There's not a good comedy club out there though, is there? There's like small.

[C]

No, there's not.

[B]

Yeah, I've done. I was gonna do a show there in like some hotel coming up. I can't remember, but it was a great place.

[C]

Yeah. Please come out.

[A]

Can we get your name, please?

[C]

Yeah, my name is Dane. Like a great Dane.

[A]

That's cool as hell. How old are you, Dan?

[C]

39. Born in 87. Year after your trips.

[A]

Just a little baby, about to be 40 soon. So, J D from Jackson and what are you doing Wyoming?

[C]

I actually work in administration for Jacksonville Mountain resort or big ski resort out here.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

Are you from Wyoming originally or did you move there?

[C]

I moved Here. I'm originally from St. Paul, Minnesota, so another Midwesterner. And that was about 12 years ago. I came out for a summer and that long left.

[A]

All right then, well, take over, big daddy. What you got? What's your problem?

[C]

Yeah, well, first off, thank you so much for letting me be on the show. This is amazing. Great to meet you both. Yeah, well, like I said, I've lived out here for almost 12 years in Jackson Hole in the valley. My girlfriend, who is also from St. Paul, Minnesota has been out here for about five years. And both big outdoor enthusiasts have done a lot of hiking and backpacking in Minnesota and out west and stuff. But my girlfriend, we have not. In the five years that my girlfriend has been out here, we have not gone backpacking in Grand Teton national park or Yellowstone national park because she is terrified of grizzly bears and grizzly bear attacks. As you can imagine. A very reasonable laundry, I think. So my question or what I'm looking for is I'm seeking advice on how to persuade my girlfriend to finally go backpacking in our disappear country here.

[A]

What should we, what should we call her?

[B]

Let's give her a name. Dane.

[C]

You can just call her Kelsey.

[B]

Kelsey, what you say?

[A]

Timmy Treadwell.

[B]

Timmy Treadwell's great. Go Timmy Treadwell.

[A]

Do you know Timmy Treadwell? Because guess what? It ended badly.

[B]

Ah, sure did.

[A]

I gotta say this is because Dan Grises are scary.

[C]

I am sorry, guys.

[A]

It is scary as grizzlies are the real deal and they're Jake's.

[B]

Automatically Jake.

[A]

No, I'm not. I'm on the side.

[B]

No, no, no side.

[A]

I'm just talking. I think you're right.

[B]

I think the difference here is this is not a. This is not a wild unfounded fear.

[A]

No, we're not talking about black bears. We're not saying. No, no, they're straight up grizzles.

[B]

Now which one are you supposed to. Because one of them you're supposed to play dead. One of them you're supposed to run and one, you're supposed to make yourself bigger.

[A]

You don't make yourself bigger against a girl. You make yourself bigger. A little against a little black bear, a little brown bear. But grizzly, they're coming to fight, homeboy.

[C]

So what?

[B]

You run, grizzly, you run.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

But I mean the tactic before you

[A]

die is right, here's the tactic. You make peace,

[D]

shake hands.

[C]

You look each other in the eyes.

[A]

Yeah. So Dane, tell us what have you done and what. I'm so sorry. Let's not do Tim Treadwell. But what were you calling, what were you calling your lady's name?

[C]

Tim Treadwell, works with me. I mean, that's fine.

[A]

All right, well, Kelsey.

[C]

Kelsey. Yeah.

[A]

Okay, Kelsey. So Kelsey loves the outdoors, but she is legitimately afraid of grizzly bears.

[C]

Correct. And to be fair, so am I. I think I just had exposure.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

What have I done to try to

[A]

get her less afraid of grizzies?

[D]

Sure.

[C]

I've tried to talk her into going. That hasn't worked so far. Yep, that's where we're currently at. And again, we've done tons of day hiking here. You see grizzly bears all the time. It's just the backpacking and overnight camping in the backcountry. That's the real.

[A]

Oh, so you see grizzlies all the time when you're hiking?

[C]

Oh yeah, there's a lot of grizzlies. There's about 1100 grizzly bears in the greater Yellowstone ecosystem. That's like the two national parks and the five national forests around it.

[A]

So Dane, explain to me and some of our audience what really is the difference in her eyes between hiking near a grizzly and sleeping near a grizzly? Is it just what's. Because I wouldn't want to even hike near a goddamn grizzly.

[B]

I definitely wouldn't want to sleep.

[A]

What's the difference exactly?

[C]

I think, I think it's the unconscious nature of having to sleep in their territory kind of more than anything because we carry bear sprays and we know how to use it in case you do have some kind of negative encounter. But yeah, I think it's just kind of leading yourself to the elements once you're, once you're asleep. And I mean I've camped and backpacked several times in this area.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So I got my first pitch and it's terrifying.

[A]

I got my first pitch.

[B]

Go.

[C]

Yeah, please go ahead.

[A]

Because it changes it for me that she's able to walk by them and feel fine in terms of you're not by them. But when you're hiking, seeing them isn't a nightmare for her. It's just the sleeping.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So here's my pitch for you. It's going to be the first time you do it. It's a one night trip and we're calling it for you Bunker. You know those great Vietnam movie, Vietnam War movies where they're sleeping out in the jungle and one of them is to stay up all night watch days with Charlie Sheen on watch and the hours go by and they get delirious. Well, Dane, here's What we're pitching. You don't sleep that first night. Oh, I like she does because you want her to get comfortable doing this. So you go, here's what I want to experience. She goes, this is crazy. You go, I know it's crazy, but I'm crazy for you and I want to do this together. She just needs to break the seal. So that first night, you're on goddamn watch like you're in a war movie and you've got the spray can in your hand and you go, hey, we need you to sleep, honey. So you have a great day and you're going to be tired tomorrow, Dan, but you push through it because that's what you want. And then the next one you go, how about we do this, honey? I'm gonna wake up every couple of hours and just check. But I'm gonna be the first one by the door. So we do the tent. Me, you in a corner, spray can near me. If that bear comes, it's on me. But the first night, total watch, second time, half watch, third time, quarter, until you're just sleeping out there.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

I think that's a pretty good pitch, Dane. I like that a lot. I've got some other stuff that I'll supplement with, but I think, I think at minimum for the rip the band aid off first one. That's great. You're basically saying, I will sacrifice my time to make you feel more confident.

[A]

I want you to do this with me.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I love you. I'm willing to do this. So I will do the first night watch. Honorable mention Pitches that I have are get a. Get like a. A bear pelt or some like fake thing like that. And you kind of build it up as you're building your tent to be outside, so it almost looks like there's a bear hanging out there. But I would say kind of interesting.

[A]

Gareth.

[C]

Well, like one of those owl

[B]

Scare bear. Yeah, a scare bear.

[C]

A scare bear, yeah.

[A]

Interesting because it just, if they see it, they go like, I don't know what that thing is that guy's got. The only problem is you got to make it really big. So I would get.

[C]

Hanging the sock in the door.

[A]

Yes. Somewhat different because that's what you're having sex in there.

[C]

Yeah, very different.

[B]

I often put a bear outside the room in college. Yeah, that's what I did.

[A]

But if you're going to do this, I would go something like a ten foot pole with a sheet on it. Oh, that grizzly turns a corner and

[C]

got to be like, intimidate.

[A]

I Can't make out what that fucking thing is. But I like scare bear Gareth scare bears first.

[B]

My second is let's pack an extra tent and we're going to do fill it with me. I wouldn't do. Believe me. I thought me. But what let's just build a fake tent just to have their almost like a little in a little bit more of a precarious zone, maybe like less hidden so that if there is something the bears are going to go to the fake tent first and that'll rouse you and maybe even put some bells on the fake tent so that if any bears are intrigued by this by the tent.

[A]

So I'm going to go away from fake tent but I am going to take from you on that a bell perimeter.

[B]

Yeah Mel, perimeter is good because if

[A]

you just go around and do a belt and it's excessive but if you do a bell perimeter that grizzly's walk in the dark and it hits some accord and go like it's going to go like get me out of here. I also think it's.

[B]

I just. Well I just think from the pe. Like I would not want to go sleeping in a tent in grizzly country. So I'm just, I'm just thinking as a person who that would make me feel more comfortable.

[A]

Yeah. Let me, let me pitch one other thing. You give her and you, you bring earplugs and then you bring a little speaker and play either a clip we make right now or just episodes of our podcast on loop so that it never gets quiet out there. And you, you play it on the outside of the tent so that you guys are in there and outside of it like four feet from you all night. That bear just is to hear us gabbing and I got to tell you it'll just be like shut up.

[B]

I gotta say, I gotta say I. I love it and I am. And I think we record something new and I think we would do it soon. And it's just looped up and it's just anti. We're just gonna hit them with like ant, get away from your beautiful.

[A]

And then, and then that night you guys have headphones. I mean you guys have earplugs in. So really quickly let's just record what that audio would be just so you have it. We're gonna go back to you Dane and we're gonna ask what you want to do. Okay. And Dane, do you want to be part of these sounds?

[C]

You're welcome to I would say do the first one just you guys.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. And then Dane, feel free. If there's any direction, we're happy to take it.

[C]

Sounds good.

[A]

And then Dane will go off your count. So give us a three, two, Piggly and Mo.

[C]

Three, two, Piggly. Oh, I missed one. Sorry. Three, two, one, Bigly and Mo.

[B]

Get out of here.

[A]

By the way, you mostly don't see the one. You mostly say three, two, and just. Who cares? Who cares?

[B]

Jake cares.

[C]

Who gives a shit?

[A]

Who gives a shit?

[C]

All right, counting down again.

[A]

Thanks, buddy.

[B]

Who gives a shit?

[C]

All right, down. Down again. So we're going three, two, one, and Magic.

[B]

Okay, Dane, listen. It's not a big deal, but now that we're actually on the precipice of doing it, it's a three, two, Igli and Mo. There's no one.

[A]

But if you want to go with Magic. It's not three, two, one, magic and go.

[B]

Yeah, it's the one is getting replaced by Piggly and Mo. Or there's no Piggly and Mo.

[A]

Or by Magic.

[C]

Oh, I did it right the first time. I see.

[A]

Okay, yeah, let's try again.

[B]

No, but. Okay, keep going.

[A]

Actually, and then he said he skipped one.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's right. He did. Right? Yeah. Right?

[C]

Oh, I did. Yes. Okay.

[B]

Okay, we're getting warmer.

[C]

Going from three, two, Bigly and Mo.

[A]

Perfect.

[B]

Out of here. Get out of here. Get away.

[A]

Hey, bear.

[B]

Nothing here. No. Kelsey, get out of here.

[A]

You

[B]

already a bear here. We don't need yous.

[A]

Get out of here. Keep the change, you filthy animal.

[B]

Get out. No, you don't.

[A]

Gareth.

[B]

What?

[A]

Hold on. Pause. What if we just play the clip from Home Alone?

[B]

So funny how early in that pitch I knew where you were going.

[A]

We just. What if we just play the Home Alone clip with the pizza delivery?

[B]

Well, there's one in Home Alone too. So you can just merge the trip.

[A]

You just go like this on repeat, like, I don't want your filthy money, you animal.

[B]

I'm gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your. No good.

[A]

Yeah, so we call that one the Home Alone. Yeah.

[C]

Okay. The Home Alone pitch.

[A]

Okay, so my only concern with something

[C]

like that is that, is that the. You know, I'm gonna get a park rang on me because all of a sudden there's gunshots going off and.

[A]

Well, here's the thing. You don't have to play Dan. You don't have to play it loud.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

Because a bear's hunting at night. It just. If you go at like a out of ten volume, you go at a four, but it just comes out of Nowhere that bear is going to go. Like, what the.

[B]

You also can just eliminate the gunshots and just have the old man saying the stuff he says, keep that change, you filthy.

[A]

Yeah, you can also just go, keep that change. Keep the change.

[B]

Seven hours.

[A]

You could literally just do that and then take a two minute break and then have them say again, keep the change. If bear is not gonna like that.

[B]

Or we could just play it though. You could just play Home Alone.

[A]

You could just play Home Alone. You could just play the movie One and two twice. One and two and then the new one in New York.

[C]

Yeah, I'd have to loop it all night, you know.

[D]

Ye.

[A]

The only problem would be if you woke up and there's nine grizzlies just watching and dying laughing. And there's a bunch of records. There's deer. They're all out there going, yeah, would

[C]

it, would it bring more people or more beers?

[A]

It might literally bring the whole community of animals together. The first one, they all want to be home alone. And they go, interesting to find out. Excellent.

[C]

Yeah. It can only be. It can only be the original.

[B]

It's that good.

[A]

The. By the way, the original has turned into my Christmas movie. We watch it every year and it's the greatest movie. Such a good movie.

[C]

I do as well. I do as well.

[A]

All right, so Dane, keep going. Back to you though, big daddy. What are we thinking here? We're so close to a win.

[B]

I think we just want to put you in one of these pitches. Dane, get off the lot.

[C]

All right, so I believe the decoy tent is what I would go with.

[A]

Interesting.

[C]

And it is interesting as an addendum to that, if it's okay with you guys. Since I thought about this for several years, I actually have a short list of ideas that I've already taught on only five of them. But if I would be able to read those two as well. Not that I have to take those into consideration, but Dane, there's some other ideas.

[A]

We would love to hear them.

[C]

Thank you. Appreciate it, Jake. All right, number one, soak my hiking clothes in concentrated honey water so that there's a clear and obvious choice.

[A]

Wait, what? Soak your clothes in honey water. But that's going to attract the goddamn bears.

[C]

That. Sorry, that's where I would go and camp in another campsite probably. That is very true.

[A]

Oh, so you put the clothes further away. I would say dangerous. What I learned from the. What we learned from the gator call with the meat sack is don't ever attract an animal.

[B]

Yeah, there's no point in just creating a. Yeah. Because then he's gonna. Because then if I'm a bear, I go, oh, dinner. And then I go, I didn't realize

[A]

hikers were made of hu. Oh, over there.

[B]

Looks like some meat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I don't think you want that. So we don't want to sweet.

[A]

We never want to sweet.

[C]

Number one.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Never sweeten to me.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

Number two, tell her all the grizzlies just pat enough a Yellowstone and left. But I just realized that that sounds like gaslighting so I'm going to mix that one as well.

[B]

Right. For sure.

[A]

Anyway, look at us going away from gaslighting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Look at us growing up.

[C]

Exactly. Congratulations.

[A]

I'm impressed.

[B]

Low bar.

[A]

But we're not going to gaslight.

[B]

Look at us.

[C]

Number three, develop a VR simulation so we can do a pre trip walkthrough of our backpacking route and campsites. But that would also require for me to engineer a lot of virtual reality stuff which is quite.

[A]

You don't know how to do know how to do that?

[C]

No, I do.

[B]

Well, you know you could do like a Google. You could do like a Google Maps walkthrough.

[A]

Yeah, but that's not scary. You could walk. She. She knows how to hike. She's not afraid of me.

[C]

Just scary enough. Yeah.

[A]

The only way to do that realistically was you do the Google thing and as you're going through it, a bear is also in your living room.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

Because she's not afraid of the hike.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I gotta say, Jake, what I love about this list is first we're beating the first three. Keep going, Dane.

[A]

What I love about this list is I feel like we have a PhD in pitching.

[B]

Honestly, I feel like we're really good. I didn't want to say that, but there's two left so let's hope he doesn't hit it.

[A]

I mean, unless these are great, I don't think they're going to be from the first three.

[B]

He said.

[A]

He said make a version of himself.

[B]

And yeah, my first one was not making a honey. Dane is really.

[A]

And then he goes, but I don't know anything about VR. Not a good fit.

[C]

Yeah. Y.

[B]

Throw Kelsey to the bears. That's four.

[D]

Four.

[A]

What do you got for four?

[C]

Well, number four was going back to. To the decoy tent idea. Set up a decoy tent with big snoring sounds and fart machines. I don't know why I added

[D]

I

[A]

don't hate a fart machine.

[B]

I Don't hate it.

[C]

But it is more realistic.

[B]

Probably I don't hate it at all. Yeah.

[A]

But I don't think I will say. And this could be a really stupid take, but I bet a fart sound would attract an animal because animals fart too. So if they heard snoring and farting. My dog snores. So I bet if they hear stored and farting they go like sleeping meat sack. And then the farts would go full of gases.

[B]

Is that the same for snoring? Do you think snoring also is a.

[A]

Animals snore.

[B]

So. So we're saying no sound effects.

[C]

They do support.

[A]

I would not say make sound effects of vulnerability.

[B]

I kind of agree. I kind of agree.

[C]

It's true. Then they know you're sleeping.

[A]

If you're gonna do side effects. I would go like I'm training karate.

[B]

Yeah, I would. Well, I don't know about that, but I would definitely have some of the audio we gave you earlier or again, home alone.

[C]

Absolutely.

[A]

I would go home alone. Keep the change of filter.

[B]

Yeah. Or Uncle Frank and he's from. All right, number five, Dan, let's hear it.

[C]

But only that. All right, last number five. I do have to preface this. This is an idea from my Jewish friend Noah. But practice cage fighting bears with big hairy Jewish men.

[B]

Okay, so we got nothing on all five.

[A]

Wait, what was five?

[B]

Nothing on all five.

[A]

But Dan, I need to hear five again. I didn't give it. So get big hairy Jewish men.

[C]

Practice page fighting bears with big hairy Jewish.

[A]

Oh, I gotcha. I gotcha. Yeah, I would say our pitches are better Dane.

[B]

They don't involve luring bears with honey ewes. What? So where are you at? Let's. We've got yours out. We've got ours out. It's time to pick. Dan, we got to put you in one of these things before we let you drive off the lot here.

[C]

Sure. You know, I'm still leaning towards the decoy tent with the Home alone sounds and your guys recordings.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But I could also do the. The scare bear slash bearcrow.

[A]

Well, you're saying I can just do

[C]

both at the same time, but yeah,

[A]

Y to three things, my man. So here's the thing.

[C]

I'm combining them.

[A]

You're comb now combining them is okay, but it is a lot of work and there's nothing wrong with that. But we need. What we would love to do is actually do this and try to take photos or video of it with her because our show, our show likes proof.

[C]

They really do.

[A]

Yeah, we like to try to get proof before we air the original if we can.

[B]

And what's great about this one is we if we never hear from them again, we don't need to say we were ever involved in this pitch because you know, maybe something went south.

[A]

Yeah, I don't feel that joke. No way.

[B]

Me either man.

[D]

Me either man.

[A]

That's the cool version of Berg. I'm 100% with you. I hated that pitch. So Dan, what are you actually going to do? And do you want us to talk to your girlfriend after you've decided? Do you want us to pitch it or do you want to pitch it to her?

[C]

Oh, I would love for you guys to pitch it to her.

[A]

Okay. We're going to do it without you though, Dane.

[C]

Yeah, that's totally fine.

[A]

Okay, so tell us what your real plan is and we will pitch it to her.

[C]

My real plan to start with will be the decoy tent with the noises.

[A]

Okay. And do you have a system of how you're going to do the noises?

[C]

I can figure that out. Yeah. I can get like a little speaker.

[A]

I love it.

[C]

And play it on a small computer.

[A]

And are you going to do Home Alone? Are you going to just play that on loop?

[C]

I'm going to do. I'm going to play the full feature length VHS tape of Home Alone.

[A]

Great.

[C]

And then intermix it with your guys's recorded sounds and then start Home Alone over.

[A]

And then what's with the decoy tent? Is that where the sounds are coming from? Or is the sounds coming from yours? And then there's just another tent like 10ft away.

[C]

The sounds will come from the decoy tent if it's attracting animals with the noise. I still want it to go to

[B]

the decoy I think where Jake's head's at, which I just clicked into based off of his facial reaction is aren't we then. And again Dan, we want to put you in one of these pictures real bad but aren't we then suggesting hey, commotion scary tent over here. Quiet sleepy tent over yonder.

[A]

I'll eat a couple of people farting in that other one. Let's go kill them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So aren't we saying we don't want to protect the fake tent so why

[B]

don't we fake tent?

[C]

Right.

[B]

Quiet tent. They can go eat their Home Alone tent. Your tent too chaotic. Me bear. Me no want to go there.

[C]

That's it.

[A]

I would also say I don't know what tent is getting us.

[B]

Fake tent is getting you a. If they're gonna Go eat. They're like, oh, this is the option now.

[A]

Are you putting, like bells around it?

[B]

I, I, my pitch was that there are bells around the fake tent. Yes.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

But now we're gonna be playing home alone, so we're not gonna hear the bells.

[A]

Wait, you know, you know what you gotta do then? Rather than bells, you gotta put Christmas decorations around for them to step up.

[B]

Well, now we're out of our minds.

[A]

Throw a paint can now in a tree.

[C]

We got the car paper.

[A]

Get yourself a zip line that gets you out of there, man.

[B]

So basically, Dave, we're pitching that you stay up all night and home alone. These two bears, like, they're the sticky bandits.

[A]

Well, here's the reality. Here's the absolute truth of this. There's the so few times are you gonna actually have a run? And this is just to make your partner feel comfortable because the truth is, right, none of this is going to come into play. We're just trying to get her to feel safe. So the tent, the decoy tent, which I would put some sort of sound

[B]

on it, I put spells around it

[A]

and I would put that closer to where you think the bears would come. If it's possible. If there's a path or something, I don't even know, then near you guys, I would do the home alone sounds. So what she sees is the bears got to go through so much different stuff before it gets to us. There's just no chance it's going to happen. And the reason I asked these questions, if we're talking to her, Dane, I think I can sell this. I think, I think there's ways to go. Like, Kelsey, you're being crazy.

[B]

I, I, so I, I, I think Jake's right. I, I think the actual reality of it is really kind of just assuaging fears. So I think we won't point out the flawed logic in the bell sound effect and the home alone.

[A]

Agreed. Because it's just another level.

[B]

We will just. If Jake thinks he can pitch her on that, let's just leave it there. I know my guy's gonna close. We'll pitch Kelsey on this our next session. Okay. So, Dan, So, Dane, your walking orders are you don't tell her anything other than she's gonna call into the show next week. Probably.

[C]

Got it.

[B]

Okay. Don't tell her the pitch. Don't spoil it. There's sometimes I won't say anything to her. Hey, it was a great talk with you guys. I didn't listen. Now you got to do this. We want to Give her. We want to give her the fresh pitch. Okay.

[C]

Fresh pitch. Copy that.

[B]

All right, buddy. Thanks, Dane.

[C]

All right, guys. Appreciate it.

[D]

Love you guys.

[A]

Love you, buddy.

[B]

Love you, buddy.

[A]

All right. This episode is brought to you by Wayfair.

[B]

That's right, Jake. It's way day at One Wayfair. So from April 25th through the 27th, you could score the best deals in home. You can get 80% off with free shipping of everything. Wayfair makes it easy to find exactly what you need in your house if you want decor improvements. I. Yeah, I really. When I went on Wayfair, I was like, oh, my goodness. It's everything. It's overwhelming.

[A]

I'll tell you what I bought on Wayfair was a robot vacuum.

[B]

Yeah, What's. How is that going?

[A]

It's going good. I had had one before.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I. I got an early version of it. So I keep buying them. I give it a name, and then there's a little remote I control, so I can go at my dogs a little bit, and I can go at my wife's feet, and then I can pretend that the robot likes me more than her.

[B]

It's interesting. This took a really. What? You said you named it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do we get to know. We all want to know the robot's name. I got a little, like, a thing for the end of the bed where I put all the bedding like a grown man should.

[A]

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[B]

Oh, sweet Mint Mobile. Jake, listen, I'm like you. I'm like Steve. We like to save money, right? You're using your big wireless carriers, and they take the money. There's all these fees, there's all these things they're adding on, and you just think that's the way it has to be. Well, it doesn't. And, Steve, tell them why.

[A]

Because the thing is about Mint Mobile

[C]

is you're going to save money.

[A]

It's more efficient, and the calls are oh, so clear. I didn't realize there was a change, but my bill is whatever it is. Like $15 a month.

[B]

It's $15 a month.

[A]

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[B]

That's upfront payment of $45 for three month five gigabyte plan required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months plan options available. Taxes and fees, extra Cement Mobile for details. Hello.

[D]

Hi.

[B]

Hi. How are you?

[D]

Yeah, good. How are you?

[B]

Great. What is your name, please?

[D]

My name's Hannah.

[B]

Hi, Hannah. Where are you calling from, Hannah?

[D]

London.

[B]

London? You're a Yankee in London, are you?

[D]

Yeah, I'm from the Midwest.

[B]

Where in the Midwest are you from?

[D]

I was in Chicago for about 10 years.

[B]

This is exactly Jake's trajectory.

[A]

What brought you to London?

[D]

I decided to go to school, so I'm getting my degree, my master's degree.

[A]

Are you near fourth in Cathedral?

[B]

That's not a spot. So, no, I'll answer for it. I'll answer for her. No, she's not.

[A]

Where do you think are you? Near 4th and Cathedral.

[B]

She's not. You've invented an intersection. For the cathedral is merch, by the way, and not a place. It is not a play. For the Cathedral.

[A]

What can we do for you, Hannah? How old are you?

[D]

I'm 32.

[A]

32.

[B]

What are you getting your masters in

[A]

geography? Actually, no, she's just eating.

[B]

Just like. Yeah. For the Cathedral.

[D]

Getting. Getting a degree in, well, project management, which is silly and unnecessary, but it's fine.

[B]

That's the spirit. I'm glad I asked. So, Anna, what can we do for you today?

[D]

Okay, I have a tricky one because, really, the problem is me and kind of like my bad attitude, but I just can relate.

[B]

Yeah, Jade can't relate. He's the bad boy. This is not. That's not that tricky. This will be fine. Go ahead.

[D]

I just moved here in September and I've had so many people, all my favorite people come and visit. I've had three people come and visit. I have five more visitors coming. Someone's coming literally tomorrow. And I am just getting really cranky when I have to go into, like, central London and I'm ruining it. I'm still having a nice night, but the last time I had visitors, I. I just, like, told them to go off and do something and I met them for dinner, but then I missed so much time with them. So I'm wondering if you guys have some suggestions to, like, lighten myself up or help me stay positive with My visitors that these are more enjoyable.

[A]

So.

[B]

So they're obviously not staying with you, but they're just staying nearby.

[D]

Sometimes they do stay with me, which is tiring because I live in. Yeah, Just, you know, not a huge apartment, but I. When they are nearby. Yeah. I just see them all the time.

[A]

So let me ask you a question before we get into that stuff, Hannah. Why don't you like seeing the people you love come visit you?

[D]

No, I love seeing them. I'm tired of going to, like, Borough Market or.

[A]

Oh, okay. So it's not.

[D]

The other day. Yeah. And I didn't even want. I thought if I was going to eat that cucumber sandwich, I'd throw it up. I'm just tired of doing, like, touristy things.

[A]

Right. So everybody's excited that you're in London. They come see, you're excited to see him, but you're like, oh, for sake. I gotta sit on the second floor of a bus again.

[B]

Ugh.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I was trying to say.

[A]

Okay. That makes. I thought it was. I don't want to see these people. And I'm like, I don't know what to tell you for sure.

[D]

No.

[A]

How do we.

[D]

Excited they're here.

[A]

How do we make being a tour guide fun when people visit you when you're not a tour guide?

[D]

Yeah, thank you.

[A]

That makes sense. Is that right? Or am I bullying into you a question that I can understand because I

[D]

wanted to know you're not bullying it into me. That is the question.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think we can crack this, Gareth.

[B]

I do, too.

[A]

What are you writing?

[B]

I'm just thinking of different ways to sort of keep it lively from you. That has no actual impact on their experience. So, for instance, you said the place with the cucumber sandwiches, right. You go there and what if you. What if you invent a person who works there that you thought was going to be working there? And you could be like, is Don here? And they'll be like, don't. Don't know if Don's here. You'd be like, he's the short guy. He always. He told me, like, the whole process of how you guys get the cucumbers. Sorry, I thought you guys were gonna be able to meet Don. He's awesome. You could also go into some. Anytime you're around a person, you could do kind of a fake Madonna accent. Like, you could kind of get a little bit of a weird sort of Jake International weird accent accent.

[D]

You.

[B]

You could just. This is a trope. A little bit, but come up with fake facts since they don't know anything. You could be like, most of these bricks are from, like 1740, but then a lot of them, you could tell the ones that are a little brighter, they were redone in, like, 1931. It was a whole thing. There was a guy, this is John Bishopman, and he had to go through and he had to do a slow replacement.

[A]

You know, this is the first toilet ever in London.

[B]

That's the first toilet. And that was what they called it, a bogus. They call the target right here because they used to use sewage water, like, seriously from the swamp. So they call it a bog.

[A]

Hannah, what about. I got an idea. Kind of going off of Gareth is saying, what if you went to the places before that you were going to take them and you asked somebody who was going to be working that day, could you say like, so my friends coming in, it means a lot to them. They're going through a lot at home. When they come in, could you make it a really big deal that they're here? And so you could maybe get people working at the places to be like, when you walk in, be like, Sarah. And you don't warn them about this so that you just go like. They go like, yeah, I'm Sarah. They're like, great to see you. It's been forever, babe. And you maybe give them like. You go, like, what can I pay you? Can I tip you? Now, this will be a really fun thing. Can we just pretend that she's, like, the mayor of London?

[B]

Well, I like that. First of all, is it Hannah or Sarah?

[A]

She's Hannah. I meant the friend.

[B]

Oh, great. So also, what if we. What if we came up with a fucking. Like, we just make a fake pamphlet of facts. And when you go, you say to these people, when I come in, I'll ask for the Pam. I'll be like, do you guys have a pamphlet? You hand it to me and I can just sort of show it to them and be like, do you know the original, like, within the last 10 years, like, London's population, you know, just weird.

[A]

You know, you could also do that.

[B]

Ben is actually named after a guy named Big Chef Ben Shefford, who was just a guy who used to do fake Bigfoot.

[A]

You know, whatever.

[C]

You.

[A]

You know what you could also do? You could do half the day of the tourist stuff, and then the second half you go, but now let me take you to the real London. And you're just taking them to, like, the weirdest nothing with all fake history. So some of it has real history, but otherwise they're like, so this is just an Indian restaurant? You're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[C]

This is.

[A]

And then we've got a little sheet of paper that you. And they go like, wow. No, wait. But they've never heard of any of the people. So then you go like, okay, have you ever heard of this band? And they go like, no. They're like, okay, that's because they were the inspiration for the Beatles.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, the Beatles ripped them off.

[A]

But they used to have lunch here in 1962 at this table.

[B]

They were the mop tops. They came here in 1940s. They had a picture on the wall that Paul. Paul saw, and then he decided that was going to be the whole vibe for the Beatles.

[A]

What do you think of something like this, Hannah, of fake history just for fun. But be honest.

[D]

I like fake history just for fun. No, I do. I get worried about knowing the real fun facts, but kind of knowing that I'm giving fake fun facts is funny for me. So

[A]

you could go, like, the places that you have to go to. You could give for every three real facts, one fact.

[D]

Yeah, that's a great idea.

[A]

So that they're also. Because you don't want to. They don't want them to go like, yeah, I went to London out of his mind. Some stupid podcast.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But if they go, wait, so that would you go, no, those three things were true. But then that one thing you did woke up. You're right. I lied because I decided to have some fun because I'm bored.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I want to see how far

[B]

I could push it.

[A]

So a 3:1, you could say the

[B]

hats that the guards wear outside of Buckingham Palace. The hat felt used to be originally made of panda. The Thames river used was actually called the Times river, but the guy had such a bad accent when they were making the map that they just thought he was saying tames.

[A]

And the other stuff you could do, Hannah, is you could make. This is what you could do for us. You could make up what the lies are. And then for each place that you're going to have to take people, the five restaurants you go to, you find three real fact box and a fourth one that you've written up. And so when they come, you go, I just tell everybody this. These are the things you gotta know. So we're gonna have this sandwich here. This is the first place for salmon. And you tell the real one, and then each one you change the last Slide to see how far you could get away with it. And each time you heighten and there's a game, and that is if they don't catch you at the end of the night, you tell them what happened. And you say, out of six facts, you fell for all six. Therefore, I get this five out of six is something. Four out of six, three out of six. But you're pushing to see how far you can get on that last one, where you could literally get as insane as you want on the last one for, like, all the extra bonuses you could try to record on a voice note. Then you go in like, well, this place used to be underwater. And they go, really? And they go, yeah. And people would just drink the cafe, but they were neck deep in swamp water and they would. You like. Your mom goes like, whoa. Yeah, yeah. It was just. People used to live like that, I guess, underwater. It's crazy. I love it.

[B]

And what you could do is you could ha. At the end of the night, you could hand them, like, you could have a printed piece of paper out, and they'll be like, what is this? It's just eight facts. And you'll be like, these are the eight tracks that I made up today. Did any of these seem like.

[A]

When I said, gareth, at the end of the day, you could give them a quiz and you could say, you know, I'm happy to do this chore with you. Do this, but, you know, I gave you a lot of facts. So now I'm gonna ask you while you're drinking your wine, you're hangout, just fill out this questionnaire. And now that quiz, Hannah, you can compare to everybody else. And they go, I don't want you to go. For every visitor, you go, like, uncle Jerry. Yeah, you got 85%. You are the smartest. And then somebody goes, they don't remember anything. And you go, were you listening? They go, honestly, no.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You were giving me so many facts, I failed the test. And that could be a fun part of the end of the day. You can tell them at the beginning. You're gonna have to take a quiz.

[B]

I like that. And then what I also like is, you know, fate, like, figuring out, like, trying to improve your score with your. As you get hurt. Like, since you have so many people coming, you could be a tour guide. It's like, stand up. It's like, event. You'll start working out your kinks, and you'll find a better rhythm with your.

[A]

And then you could get to one where somebody like your best friend all All. And you're trying to get more and more.

[B]

This is where the Beatles stole their first. This is where they stole their act from.

[A]

Rod Stewart was born in this cafe.

[B]

You know, they used to do it in half pints until there was one guy who came around and he could dislocate his jaw so they made the mouth wider.

[A]

So what do you think of this idea, Hannah?

[D]

This is great. I really like that it's gamified a little bit where I can give them the quiz or ask them out of, like, these five things. What do you think was bullshit? I just. I think that's really fun to kink because I don't want to. I like that they're included in it totally. A little bit.

[A]

And that's the end of the night. So you're. You're happy to go to do all the things, but at the end of the night, there is a quiz.

[B]

End of the night, you had a couple pops, and that's where you start kind of revealing the truth. You know, some of these things you heard today, I did make up, you know, and you could kind. I mean, you can also kind of give yourself a score if you wanted to. You know, you're kind of like. When I said that, was that weird

[A]

to you at all?

[B]

Like, no. I'll be like, okay, great. This one sound weird.

[A]

What do you think of this, London? Let's go to you, Hannah. What do you think? Break us through, because we got an idea that could work. Now let's start kind of closing it up.

[D]

I think that's it. I really do think we got it. I think it'll work. One time I told my siblings I really thought that the. Well, I just mixed up words, but that the Merchandise Mart in Chicago has its own time zone and they all believe me, and it's really just their own zip code.

[A]

Give us some other lies off the top of your head that you could say in London.

[D]

Oh, no.

[A]

Of the places you've been to. So, like, when you've taken someone on, who was the last visitor who came?

[D]

Like my. One of my great friends from high school.

[A]

Okay. And where did you take?

[D]

I mean, we did all the things. Went to a few markets. Haiti, Westminster.

[A]

Okay, you gotta do all of it.

[D]

Big Ben, Buckingham Palace.

[A]

Okay, so this is perfect. That's the checklist. So, Hannah, here's what I'd like you to do for the show. I'd like you to. If you have kind of an itinerary of where you take people to all the things so that they get to experience London, which is partly your job when somebody visits, when people come to LA who aren't from here, we do the Hollywood sign, we do all the same wall fame, we go to the ocean, we go to the mountains, I go to go to downtown, get some great Mexican food, you do the whole thing. But will you write on a sheet of paper the perfect day itinerary for friends when they come? And so it's like the Hannah Guide. And then will you have three facts of each place and the fourth one is interchangeable, but it's the one and tell people, as a fun thing you like to do is at the end of the day you're going to quiz them and then have the quiz write it up. And so at the end, the last place that you go to is a pub and go to one of the oldest pubs in London.

[B]

Couple drinks in, by the way, it doesn't even need to be one, you just say it is.

[A]

Yes, but you find, like, find a historic place, make them do the thing, a couple things in and then the end of that, tell them what's the lies and what were the truths. And then it becomes like a game and say, but don't tell any of our other friends because everyone's going to do this and I'm going to keep track of everybody's score.

[D]

Yeah, great.

[B]

If I may, Jake, may I throw out a few bullshit ones just for Hannah to have if she likes? I love their own time zone. You can say London has its own time zone. You can say, I hope you're enjoying Westminster because Eastminster is like the eight Mile. You could say people in England call pocket watches Small Ben instead of Big Ben. And that in 1955, clowns were made illegal in Piccadilly Circus.

[A]

So will you take over, do this and follow up with us with a photo of the quiz. And after the first one, the next visitor comes, call us and tell us how it went.

[B]

And maybe after you do the reveal, after you're in this, maybe we get a video of the quiz reaction.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Okay. Yeah, okay, great. Thanks so much, you guys.

[B]

Yes, thank you, Hannah.

[A]

I think it's a win. Hannah, you have to.

[D]

I'm really happy with it. Yeah, I think this will be great. I'm going to start the quiz tonight.

[A]

Make an appointment on your way out with our secretary. We'll see you in about three.

[B]

Yeah, we're going to want to do a checkup real soon. And also I would make a bullshit fact about 4th and Cathedral somewhere you wanted to take them because of something that you couldn't make it for if

[A]

you could make up a lie about International School International.

[B]

This is the biggest international school in the world where accents go to die.

[A]

But you, Hannah, make up the lie. But you could also say this is where the famous 4th and Cathedral used to be before the fire. But like so much history happened here at Forth and Cathedral. Now it's a Chili's, but it used to be. This was where they used to do all the executions.

[B]

Yeah, this was. Yeah, totally.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

This is where the gallows were.

[A]

This is where the gallows were. This is where the kings and queens were thrown at sworn in. Hannah, I want you to make up the 4th and Cathedral. I decided us.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Appreciate you.

[B]

Thank you, Hannah.

[D]

Thanks guys. Bye.

[B]

Can we pitch in and buy Jesse a curtain? Jesse will buy.

[D]

I did let someone in, so they're just.

[B]

Hey, there's a follow.

[A]

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, this is a follow. You might need a little coaching from us about what's going on. Oh, wait.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Hello?

[B]

That was the wrong person. Oh, did I let the wrong person in? You're going back in the waiting room, sir. Sorry about that.

[D]

See you tomorrow.

[C]

Well, how about.

[B]

Oh, never mind.

[D]

Okay, I put him back.

[B]

Okay, so this is. I'm just going to tell you guys what this is. This is the.

[A]

The guy who.

[B]

With the who. Whose girlfriend. He wants to go hiking with his girlfriend and not get eaten by grizzlies. Oh, and at the end of that call, you guys said you were going to pitch the girlfriend on the plan. So we have the girlfriend here.

[A]

We need him first to remind us what the plan.

[B]

So let's bring him in first and then we'll bring him back. Okay, you were right. It was like lady, just go hike.

[A]

But when the show runs, guys, leave all this beginning in.

[B]

Yeah, the chaos of how this actually goes. Hello, sir.

[C]

Howdy, guys.

[B]

Hey, bear buddy. What's your name again?

[C]

Dane. Like a Great Dane?

[B]

Dane. Okay, Dane, we know what's going on. We're gonna pitch your lady here on the bear plan. But we. Look, we do a lot of calls. We don't remember where we landed. So what are we going to be pitching her on? And what is her name?

[C]

Her name is Kelsey. And it was pitching. Setting up a. The. The problem was try getting advice on how to persuade her to go backpacking in grizzly bear country out here in the greater Yellowstone ecosystem. And we landed on setting up a decoy tent and playing the recorded bear noises that you guys are making as well as the full length feature film Home Alone and setting up all the accoutrements of ornaments out. And the tar paper.

[A]

I don't remember this, Garrett.

[B]

I don't think we said tar paper with nails. Date. I think you've taken a little liberty. Yeah. Okay, so we. What we landed on is we made. We made dissuading bear noises. Right? We were like, get out of here. Like stuff like that.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

Get out of here on that speaker. You're also going to be playing Home alone because we wanted to play the part in Home Alone where the guy says, get out of here, you filthy animal. That just led us to just play the goddamn movie. It's a classic. And this is all going to be happening in a decoy tent, you know, not too far away from you, but a healthy distance so that if the bears go there, they're going to be scared on their way to you. Okay.

[C]

Correct. 300ft away.

[B]

Okay. Okay. Jake, questions? Prep, prep.

[A]

I really interested. What have you done at this point? Have you talked to her? Where are we at?

[C]

I told her that I came on here and that you guys wanted to pitch this to her, in which she then demanded that I tell her at least what the topic was, but I did not tell her any of the ideas or solutions.

[A]

Okay. Dane, are you willing to. You do the pitch to her and we're here with you jumping in and supporting you, but so we can hear how you would actually pitch to her?

[C]

Sure.

[A]

Okay, so let's. We'll set it up. We will get her on. We'll get her comfortable. And then you could say this we all came up with together, but I would love this to be between you guys so that she doesn't say yes to us and then gets off and goes like, I'm not doing it. Let's see if we can actually close.

[B]

Can I. Can I give an overall tone note on that? I think, look, there's some goofy in here. We had laugh. We need to be hanging there with the seriousness.

[A]

Agreed.

[B]

This is not a joke to us.

[C]

Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah. We got to get this done. Okay. And then what is her name again?

[C]

Ring the bell. Kelsey.

[A]

Kelsey. All right, let's bring in Kelsey.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Nervous.

[B]

Kelsey.

[A]

She's here.

[D]

Hello.

[B]

Hi. Welcome to the podcast. We're here to help. You're on with Jake Johnson, myself. My name is Gareth. And we've got Dane with you. And I know Dane told you a little bit of why he called in. He had a problem. We had a solution. Jake, you're normally pretty good at these Resets. I mean, what do you think?

[A]

We hear you're a little bit nervous about camping because of the fear of a grizzly bear attack. Is that true, Kelsey?

[D]

You know, I do feel that's been a little bit misrepresented but appreciate you guys having me on but you know

[A]

we would love to do right now. Let's. Let's get on your side of things, Kelsey, because now this is your moment to shine. Dane's in the back shadows. We're all staring at you. You got the microphone. What do you think? What you. So you're not afraid of it? Do you like camping? Where you at here, pal?

[D]

That's great. Well, you know, do I have a healthy respect for bears? Absolutely. They're. That's scary as. But do. And do my knees turn a little bit to jelly if we're out hiking and I see a bear on the trail? Yes.

[A]

Yes. And guess what, Chelsea?

[D]

They should rational.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because you're human.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

But yes, thank you. I appreciate that. And I do have a background as a hiking guide in Alaska and Yellowstone. I've. I've seen some.

[A]

So wait, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

I was in Alaska for all what you seen, man.

[D]

Oh yeah. Well, you know, the bears are real big out there.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, you just real big bears.

[D]

Well, and the bears are like. I. I'm not saying I've seen bears be mall people in person, but you hear some. You hear some stories passed down from your fellow hiking guides.

[A]

You know what kind of stories you hear? Because I've heard some crazy.

[D]

Like when bears start investigating tents. That's not good.

[A]

What do they do?

[D]

They just too smart for their own good, you know? So they smell people as a source of food.

[A]

Scary. So scary.

[D]

And they're too smart. They teach their cubs.

[A]

Oh my God.

[D]

And then it becomes a whole generation of bears investigating tents.

[A]

All these.

[D]

If you're in that tent. I know.

[A]

So you're telling me. I did not know this until. But hold on. I did not know this. These are teaching their cubs.

[D]

Yes, but the. You don't need to worry because the rangers, all the. The staff, they got it covered. They're fine. They're okay.

[A]

But hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. You got a baby cub whose grandfather and grandmother are teaching them. You see that goofball in the north face jacket with the heavy legs talking about myself. He would be delicious. See how out of breath he is? He just started. Let's follow him. And then the young ones go. We're going to teach our kids That's a meat patty sitting in a tent, Chelsea. You're telling me that so I'll never go hiking again?

[D]

Well, no, it's more like, hey, you see that big backpack that guy's got? There's some good shit in there. Let's wait till he sets it down.

[A]

Okay, so I'm safe in the tent as long as the backpack is elsewhere?

[D]

Well, a lot of people don't put their food elsewhere,

[A]

Chelsea. I'm not a idiot.

[D]

You're not, you're not. But a lot of people are, Jake. A lot of people are, but. And so then the bears don't know the difference.

[A]

Okay? So I am legit asking now out of fear. So if I'm gonna go because I just spent.

[D]

I'm so sorry.

[C]

I didn't mean.

[A]

No, no, no, no. I spent time up in Alaska. We made a little movie called the Sun Never Sets. And I did hikes and I was so afraid of grizzlies, but. And then we also went to this beautiful place, Dakota Night, where it's like out in the grizzly country. So you're telling me very cool if I. Thank you. You know how gorgeous it is out there. The sun never sets and then it rises is the weirdest place on planet earth.

[D]

But. Yep.

[A]

Chelsea, if. If I were to go out. Let's say I went out with my wife and we went out camping and hiking and.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And these generationally are teaching their kids not that we're in food. How do I ever feel safe enough to sleep in a tent if there's grizzlies around?

[D]

Okay, so you. You see my. My caution. Crucially though, this does not stop me from outdoor adventuring. This is the part that has been misrepresented. I just approach it with more caution then. Then other people. Maybe you just got to take the precautions. It's not all bears that do this. It's the problem bears, you just have to know your area. You have to take the precautions. Maybe bring a bear. Can. I mean always bring a bear can

[A]

always bring the spray for fair country. So what if you were to go get over my fear of sleeping in an Alaskan tent. It's just because I am like, we are going to go back and my wife does want to camp, so just take precaution. I'm not. Of course I am. I'm not a goofball. So what is it? Just put my food up a tree. Something. I am a goofball. Forget about it. But.

[D]

But yeah.

[A]

So hang the food from a tree and have a Bear can. What else?

[C]

I would.

[A]

Honest to God, my nightmare would be to be sleeping and have a grizzly sniffing around my tent. Like, just like I'm afraid of sharks in the ocean.

[D]

Yep. That seems very rational to me.

[A]

Help me out here, Chelsea.

[D]

Bear spray.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I just want to jump Kelsey. Everything else has been great. Go ahead.

[A]

I'm saying Chelsea.

[B]

Yeah, it's Kelsey. Keep going.

[A]

It's Kelsey.

[D]

Oh, I can't. Yes, it is Kelsey.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I've been saying. Kinda.

[D]

That's. No, it's.

[B]

On my only note,

[D]

I would.

[A]

No.

[D]

Brother, make sure you don't have the. Any scented things in your tent.

[A]

Okay, so deodorant, candles. Deodorant.

[D]

Okay. Yeah, candles. That counts, I think, because, you know, it's all the. It's all the smelly things and just have it. Have it all far from your tent. Bear cans are usually more effective than hangs. Like if you hang, you know, grizzlies can climb trees too. The common thing, people don't. They think only black bears. No, I did think grizzlies can climb trees too. No, they. They just climb them differently. They climb them more like people.

[A]

Terrifying.

[B]

Like awful news.

[D]

Yes, I know.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So sorry.

[D]

I'm sorry to ruin all this.

[A]

Kelsey, you're doing great. You're actually helping and there's going to be a lot of listeners who you are going to help get over the fear. So put the.

[D]

I hope this doesn't stop anyone from getting outside, though. You just take your precautions, have their spray and crucially know how to use it safely.

[A]

Okay. And this is also for our listeners who we don't want to scare off. And you've made your point very clear. I'm scared. But if I take my precautions. Bears aren't vicious serial killers who just want to hurt. But if you make a mistake, you might get yourself in trouble. So will you tell the audience why it's okay to go camping and sleep in a tent? In bear country, It.

[D]

Most. Yes, most bears don't want to encounter you. Most bears want to avoid you. So if you just keep that in mind, they, they, you know, most bears are just out doing their thing. You're doing your thing.

[A]

Perfect. That actually helps if you.

[D]

You take your steps to. To avoid an encounter. They'll. They'll be like, oh, cool, I'll stay over here. You stay over there.

[A]

This actually really helps. So, Kelsey, will you do something fun for the show? Will you go camping with Dane and do it so it's really safe? You do it Right. There's no bears. And then follow up with us and tell us what you did specifically while you guys camped out in quote unquote, bear country. And so we can hear this before and then hear it after, and then that's the proof to the audience. We do this one in three calls.

[D]

Sure I will. I do feel like this is tempting fate, but. Yes, absolutely.

[A]

But why is it tempting, Winter?

[D]

Because watch this. Watch us go camping. You know, if you feel like it's a jinx, but sure, I would love to go camping.

[A]

Yeah, but Kelsey, because then you. Now you're scaring me, dude.

[D]

You're like, go camping and. And have it be safe and no bears. And I'm like, awesome.

[A]

Well, but that's the same thing with, like, surfing. Like, no, we'll go.

[D]

It'll be great.

[C]

It'll be great.

[A]

But, you know, it's like surfing. Like, a lot of people surf. There are occasional shark attacks. Random things happen. But also you get hit by lightning. I'm still gonna walk outside.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

You know every. You know how many people get killed by drunk drivers? I'm still on a highway in my car.

[D]

Exactly. People. People are like, oh, I'll just stay home then. And then their house. That.

[A]

Because you sound like somebody outdoors.

[D]

I do. Very much.

[A]

And you sounds like somebody who loves and respects bears, which I think you were misrepresented. I think you fear them because you respect them.

[D]

Yeah, I know too much, if anything.

[A]

And so if anything, you're the perfect person to be out there showing that you could live amongst grizzlies. We don't. And by the way, in California don't have them. You want to know why? Because we all got so scared of them, we hunted him, killed them all. Same with wolves. Maybe if we had a little bit of respect, we could still have grizzlies here where they belong.

[B]

Preach.

[D]

I do have. Yes, preach. Fully agree. Can I say one thing about wolves now that you bring them up?

[A]

Please.

[D]

Okay. This is a. They're one of my favorite, favorite things. They're what's called a keystone species here in the greater everywhere. But in the. If. If anybody listening is interested, look up the Yellowstone reintroduction of wolves. It's. It's so fascinating. Wolves are often vilified as, like this demon creature, you know, in all the video games. I love video games, you know, but I always hate when I have to just kill a thousand wolves. I'm like, they're being misrepresented. They are not aggressive. They don't attack people. And but if they are a keystone species. So when they are gone, prey, like herds of prey animals don't move as much as they should. They don't stay on the move. So they over graze. The grass gets all messed up and these small animals don't move around as much. So the. It affects everything. It affects the, the grasses, it affects the foxes, it affects the rabbits. The grasses get messed up, that messes up the fish.

[A]

You know what you are Kelsey?

[D]

It's crazy.

[A]

You know what you are for this audience and we got people in fucking other countries. We got about five people in Singapore who listen to this show. You are the voice and the action to represent these animals the right way. Let's get out of irrational fear.

[D]

Oh I love that.

[A]

Let's live amongst each other. But with respect. But you can enjoy camping in the woods. You have to be very careful. But you we can coexist.

[B]

Do you feel comfortable going on this adventure with Dane Kelsey?

[D]

Sure.

[B]

Is there anything else right now?

[A]

No. Early spring?

[D]

Yes. No, I'm saying it won't, it won't be for a bit but sure.

[A]

Yeah. So do you feel. Wait, go ahead Galaxy, go ahead.

[B]

Well, I was just gonna say do you, is there anything, is there anything else you want to sort of just stack the deck for safety or do you feel like you can handle. I was gonna say, I mean it feels like you've got a handle on it.

[A]

Yeah. And anything, anything you end up doing, just let us know. Hey Dane, when would you like to go camping with Kelsey? Can you put like a month or a week that we could start planning right now and lock you guys into your first trip together?

[C]

Yeah. With our summer season it kind of depends on snow melts and when places become accessible. But realistically probably June.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

June, July.

[A]

Hey, would you, Kelsey, would you be excited for a camping and hiking trip with your man in June or July of this year depending on the snow?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So can we get you guys pretend I'm a lawyer and we have contracts in front of us. The contract basically says you guys are going to go camping together. You guys are going to determine how many days. Kelsey, whatever you need to do for safety as the expert Dane will execute without any comments. There will never be a. That's unnecessary. He will do everything you agree on and feel you need for safety because you're the expert. Dane, do you agree to that?

[C]

I agree to that.

[D]

Okay, so that's a long pause but okay.

[A]

He was thinking delay. Kelsey, you are in charge of bear safety for you guys. Ed, Dane, Will be part of executing it.

[D]

Sounds good.

[C]

Understood.

[A]

You both okay to sign this contract?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Sign field and delivered.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Gareth, if I may, I'm happy that we closed the deal on behalf of the show. If while you're out there we could get maybe a couple of audio file check ins as the general temperature of the event, how we're feeling, how everything's going. I'm not asking that this becomes a top priority, but maybe three to four check ins, especially the morning after when we feel like we've. We've gotten through it, if that's possible. Thank you.

[D]

Okay, sounds good.

[A]

Hey, and we're excited. Tell us about this camping trip and then after, let us know in those voice notes where you're going so other people can do this too because it might help a little tourism and it might get more people out there. And then also plug what you were talking about with the wolf thing, the reintroduction, if there's any websites, we'll post that along that you guys think are important. We'll connect that with that and we'll post it on our social media too.

[D]

Sounds great.

[A]

Kelsey, you are part of the solution. We're going to take care of these animals.

[D]

Thank you. I love it.

[A]

All right, have fun.

[B]

Thank you, Dane. Thank you. Kelsey, do it.

[D]

Okay, thanks guys.

[B]

All right, bye.

[D]

Bye.

[A]

See ya.

[B]

It's so funny how. So funny how early in that call I knew exactly what you were doing when you were like. I was like, dude, I got it. I was like, I know, exactly.

[A]

I just couldn't. I didn't want you to start teasing me. No, I know. I was like, I know. She's so.

[B]

Right away. Yeah, right away you're like. You're telling me that this car is 250? That's the lowest APR I ever heard.

[A]

Wait, I. That's not. That's not. We'd lose money at a dealership.

[B]

Kelsey, I'm not going out in the forest again. This is terrible.

[A]

News was too obvious. I thought she was gonna be like, look, I know exactly what you're doing. It's not gonna work. But. And then she'd go like, well, I

[C]

mean, do you know about the wolves?

[B]

You're gonna be okay. I am.

[A]

Do you mean it? I found it. Really? When I was like, honestly, at times it felt like when I'm doing one of those moves with my kids where I'll be like, well, just pull your tooth. And they'll be like, you can. I'll be like, well, a guy like me, I could never do something like that, but you're way tougher than me. But I would be afraid. And they're like, it's not that scary. And I'm like, yeah, it is. And they go, no, it isn't. You just go like this. And I'm like, oh, my God, you're like a batter.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

And they'll be like, it's just a tooth. And I'm like, oh.

[B]

I'm like. From watching it.

[A]

Then they'll go like, like, mom, it's bleeding. Yeah, but you got it out. While we were doing another call, we just got an email from Dane from the Dane and Kelsey saga with the camping. And he wrote, thank you so much again to the helpful pod team for having me back on. And I'm so proud of Kelsey for coming on and just being herself. And of course, we'll make sure to follow up accordingly once we have a trip scheduled for June and July and provide audio and even video if that would help, per the guy's request. And please do come out and visit. Take care, Dane. It's a go. That is a bell ring. That is now not even a discussion. They're gonna go camping.

[B]

Yeah, I think you're right. It is. It is. It's a ring.

[A]

Come on. It's a ring. We'll get another ring when they're back on. But this is.

[B]

Yeah, it's a ring. Yeah. Assuming they survive,

[A]

that's the end.

[E]

Hi, I'm from Thailand. I just want to call in and confirm that the Thai fan are reals. I'm reals. And also to thank Jake for all the shout out to Thai fan base in almost every other episode for no reason. It makes us feel very important. And when I say us, I have no idea how big is the Thai fan base here? Or it's just me who's showing up in the system. And I have been listening for more than two years and if there are a really big fan base in Thailand, Hi to everyone. And yeah, I just want to confirm that the show is really important to the Thai fat, as Jake mentioned. So thank you. Hey, Jake and Gareth. I'm Zala. I'm from Slovenia and I started listening to your podcast in December and I've just been listening to it all the time. So when I was done with an episode, I would just go straight to the next one. And now I'm finally caught up, so I'm feeling a little bit lost. I don't know what I'll be doing with my free time now, but yeah, I just wanted to thank you for the podcast and for all the advice you've given it. It's great. You're great, guys.

[D]

Bye.

[A]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] heretohelp pod to see our entire catalog.

[B]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis associate producer Jesse Thurston editing, mix and master by Chris Faller, theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike, animations by Andrew Strecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[A]

That was a hit gum Podcast. That was a hit gum podcast.