282: Game Daddies & Barf-a-Rama

Summary

We're Here to Help – Episode 282: Game Daddies & Barf-a-Rama

Headgum | April 20, 2026
Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Special Guest: Steve Berg

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Episode Overview

This episode of We're Here to Help brings Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds together with guest Steve Berg for their signature blend of comedic, unqualified advice. Listeners call in with a range of peculiar and practical problems—including an aspiring reality show contestant’s quest for a winning backstory, a sibling rivalry settled (or sabotaged) on the running track, and a relationship dilemma involving condiments in the bathroom. The trio delivers earnest but ridiculous pitches, reinforcing their unfiltered, supportive “bartender/uncle” approach.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

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1. Festival Stories, “Cash Cab” Spinoffs & Game Daddies (00:35–15:00)

• Catching Up:

  • Jake, Gareth, and Steve riff about recent film festival appearances (Cinequest, SXSW), with plenty of jokes about the perks (overpriced car services, lanyard mishaps).
  • “If you're a surgeon, that means you're a good tennis player. But I also demand that we don't play at the country club, but we play at the city courts because I'm a man of the people.” — Steve Berg (01:09)

• The Driver Bit:

  • Jake shares the absurdity of paying for elite “town car” transport at film fests, suggesting (half-jokingly) that his brother Dan should be the driver and turn it into a disco cab.
  • “Wouldn’t it be fun if my brother was their driver and we didn’t tell anybody, and he turned it into, like, a disco van?” — Jake Johnson (03:47)
  • Brainstorming “Cash Cab”/Uber prank show hybrids with the crew as drivers entertaining or confusing unsuspecting passengers (04:03–06:44).

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2. Caller 1: Nina’s Reality Show Backstory Dilemma (“Game Daddies” Segment) (15:07–33:05)

• Setup (15:07):

  • Nina (Pittsburgh) is days away from filming a reality competition show. She seeks help crafting a compelling “backstory”/personality to use on TV.
  • “I teach fitness classes based on, like, tread intervals, and I also run ultra marathons. I just love to run.” — Nina (15:45)

• The Dilemma:

  • Nina is torn: Should she play up her empathic, friendly side or lean into her competitive ultramarathoner persona—especially when voting others out?
  • She’s also just left an 8-year relationship and is seeking adventure.

• Hosts’ Advice & Memorable Moments:

  • The “Game Daddies” bit is born (Jake & Gareth take parental/coach personas):
    • “We're obviously very excited to be, dare I say, your game dads. I think that's a fine term.” — Gareth Reynolds (18:47)
    • The “game daddies” vs “game daddies” debate (19:01–19:09)
  • Jake and Gareth brainstorm the perfect backstory for maximum TV/producer appeal:
    • Near-death running experience with a twist—she was listening to their podcast, which “saved her life” and led to her new adventure-seeking persona.
    • “But then a train almost hit her. But you want to know why? She was running with her headphones on, listening to the We're Here to Help podcast...She jumped forward in that moment, Nina, when her life flashed before her eyes. She said, if I kept going with my regular life and I died right then, I'm not impressed with myself.” — Jake Johnson (23:37)
    • “You started calling yourself House Money.” — Gareth Reynolds (25:12)
  • The hosts rehearse a “producer interview,” coaching Nina to lead with the near-death anecdote and her new philosophy: “no fear,” “only live once.”

• Strategic Advice:

  • Don’t fixate on a rigid game plan—stay adaptable and play with integrity.
  • Emphasize alliances and being true to herself for both gameplay and good TV.

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3. Caller 2: Kendall’s “Barf-a-Rama” Revenge (33:44–57:35)

• Setup:

  • Kendall (Boise, 24) wants her marathoner sister to stop coercing her into St. Patrick’s Day 5Ks. Options: get out of the run or make her sister regret ever inviting her again.

• Pitching Chaos:

  • Jake & Gareth escalate from simple excuses (feigning illness, “celebrating too hard with green beer”) to a full prank: faked drunkenness or staged vomiting.
  • “If we're trying to get her to never invite you again...you actually barf at the beginning of the race, and it's where everybody has to run.” — Jake Johnson (38:49)
  • “We're going to use this event as a way to send a lifetime note: Don't do this again.” — Gareth Reynolds (37:17)
  • After deliberation, the winning plan: fake a mid-race vomit using a camouflaged water bottle filled with applesauce/corn/chicken noodle soup, simulating a messy, humiliating barf on her sister during the run.
    • “You're gonna hold it in your mouth, right? You're not gonna be able to talk through it, so...take a sip, all that after the puke.” — Gareth Reynolds (52:18)
    • “Either way, it's going to win. It's Gareth is right. It's either karate or Krazy.” — Jake Johnson (55:42)

• Execution Plan:

  • Kendall must act the part fully (“Don’t break, don’t laugh after”) and can practice beforehand.
  • Discussion of logistics, alibis, and the enduring consequence: her sister will never invite her to run again.

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4. Caller 3: Susan’s Condiments-in-the-Bathroom Boyfriend—A Follow-Up (57:47–68:17)

• Recap:

  • Susan previously called about her boyfriend’s midnight habit—eating corn dogs/pretzel dogs on the toilet (with the shower running), leaving condiments in the bathroom.

• Resolution:

  • She followed the hosts’ advice: initiated a gentle, honest conversation setting boundaries (“please don’t bring condiments into the bathroom”).
  • Live playback of their real conversation:
    • “Does having condiments in the bathroom give you the ick?” — Gareth Reynolds (61:03)
    • “If that bothers you, I'll...I will pre-time condiment before the bottle comes into the bathroom.” — Susan’s boyfriend (61:27)
  • Hosts praise the mature, non-confrontational resolution; marvel at how quickly her boyfriend agreed and reflect on how this is a model for adult relationship communication.

• Deeper Reflection:

  • Jake and Gareth joke about the notion of “turning on the lights” on weird habits and the boundaries of domestic compromise.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Honestly, to me, the craziest part, the shower being on. But again, this is your world. So we've got the condiments out of the show.” — Gareth Reynolds (68:37)
• “We're talking about...this is a lifetime pass to get out of this. So if you're in, you're in. If not, we could offer up some other stuff, but sometimes we'll do a follow-up and someone’s like, I loved all your stuff, but I just ended up calling in sick. We want you puking on the back of her.” — Gareth Reynolds (44:13)
• “When you have a near-death experience and you need to do something crazy, what's crazier than the show?” — Jake Johnson (30:35)
• “This is wheelhouse, guys...You might be with somebody who's a sweetheart, who you love. He eats corn dogs in the bathroom while it's running...So have a conversation. Say, can you just leave the condiments in?” — Jake Johnson (63:32)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Film Festival / “Cash Cab” Riffs: 00:35–06:44
• Reality Show Backstory Coaching (“Game Daddies”): 15:07–33:05
• Sister vs. 5K Prank (“Barf-a-Rama”): 33:44–57:35
• Condiments-in-the-Bathroom Follow-Up: 57:47–68:17
• Outro/Production Credits: 68:17–end

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Final Thoughts

Episode 282 highlights Jake and Gareth’s greatest strengths: quick-witted improv, sincere interest in caller outcomes, and a willingness to take even absurd dilemmas seriously. Their comedic “advice” is ultimately in service of empowering listeners to find their own voice and comfort with weird solutions, while embracing the value of honest conversation and personal boundaries—one fake barf or disco cab at a time.

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For more or to submit your question, visit here to help pod.com or email [e-mail]. Watch new episodes early on Hulu, or catch up with older episodes on Patreon.

Transcript

[Nina]

This is a Headgum podcast. This is a Headgum podcast.

[Jake Johnson]

And we are back.

[Steve Berg]

I thought I'd come in late, kind of steal the fender a little bit. Hey, guys, it's Steve Berg.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Steve, you're. You're.

[Jake Johnson]

We've.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is our second intro. We've done some ads. You are particularly spiced up today. Is it. What's going on? What's the combination inside of you right now? What have you done?

[Steve Berg]

I woke up, I played tennis with my friend Brad, who's a foot surgeon, and I got the best of him, and so I'm feeling pretty. Pretty good.

[Jake Johnson]

He had a foot surgery?

[Steve Berg]

No, he's a foot surgeon.

[Jake Johnson]

Right before the match.

[Steve Berg]

If you're a surgeon, that means you're a good tennis player. But I also demand that we don't play at the country club, but we play at the city courts because I'm a man of the people.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, this is the worst.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I apologize.

[Steve Berg]

I'm the Woody Guthrie of tennis, you know, so it should be. It's a sport for the people. I'm. You know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, tennis.

[Jake Johnson]

Tennis is a sport for the.

[Steve Berg]

It is. It is very egalitarian.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth, you just were at a film festival for your movie. How was it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was great. We had Give it up at the Cinequest Film Festival, and it was great. I mean, seeing it on the big screen and all that. But I'm curious what. Cause I've been to south by Southwest. You were just there, and I'm curious what your experience is. You know what I did that I think is not the move. I went to all the screenings, not just the big screen one. I went to all of them and I was like, I shouldn't have done this.

[Jake Johnson]

You don't need to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's what I said.

[Jake Johnson]

The d. The director needs to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right. He did.

[Jake Johnson]

So some. Yeah, somebody should. I. What I do is I fly in, I do the premiere night, I do the press date, and then I fly out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's smart.

[Jake Johnson]

It's. I. I don't think it's. I don't think it's there to party to. It's like you're in and out, you're presenting it. It's like the audience, while you're all there, they're there for the whole festival. If you're in it, it almost feels like a four day birthday party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Awesome.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's really. Also.

[Steve Berg]

I would. I would be a pig in shit. I'll be there for 40 days, man. Long after it's over.

[Jake Johnson]

You should create the Steve Burke, Film festival.

[Steve Berg]

I should.

[Jake Johnson]

Mr.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your lanyard doesn't work. We're a different festival.

[Jake Johnson]

It's called how did it go, Jake?

[Gareth Reynolds]

How was it? And the big question is, and I already know the answer, but for our audience, did Dan end up being your driver?

[Jake Johnson]

So the bit Steve, was, you know, because we also financed the movie. So while we were looking at the day, you know, like, on those press days, there's like, everybody gets their own, like, town car, but you're really going three blocks at a time. Yeah, but it's like, who could put. What actor could possibly walk across a street? And so you're literally in a town car to, like, drive four buildings. And so our producer Ashley goes like, hey, just so you know, it's a crazy markup. And it's like 25 to 2. It's like $2,000 to 25,000 dol. 500 per car, per person.

[Steve Berg]

Jesus.

[Jake Johnson]

And I was like, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. But I was like, but we can't do Ubers. I'm not going to ask, like, Dakota Fanning to be in an Uber. And so she said, what if we got, like, a big Escalade and hired a driver?

[Steve Berg]

There we go.

[Jake Johnson]

And I was like, then we're all together, which is better anyhow. And then I thought, wouldn't it be fun if my brother was their driver and we didn't tell anybody, and he turned it into, like, a disco van.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, my God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Give him, like, the gloves.

[Jake Johnson]

Give him a little karaoke mic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, perfect, right?

[Jake Johnson]

That's.

[Steve Berg]

It's like Cash Cab.

[Jake Johnson]

That was the exact inspiration I had where people first get in and Dan's looking away, and then he goes like, it's the cast of the Sun Never. And people go like. And the way the vibe everyone

[Gareth Reynolds]

with no money is just a strange cab

[Jake Johnson]

or cab or cab you take away. It's just cabin. Oh, my God. You know what show? We should produce a version of Cash Cab, but with our guys. So, like, Steve drives a cab, you drive a cab, I drive a cab. Eric. Uncle Dan. But you literally, we. You know, we could maybe do is, like, get partnered with, like, an Uber or a Lyft. And it's all set up with cameras, and people come in and they're just like, hey. And then Steve goes, like, to the airport.

[Steve Berg]

How about a quick pit stop?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, I've got an idea.

[Jake Johnson]

Would be wild

[Gareth Reynolds]

that we could do that. I like so much. I'm gonna wait to pitch it till we're done recording.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's hear it. Come on. Give us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What if we. What if we tried to pair with Waymo and we either get Eric or Steve to be in the front so someone thinks they're getting a driverless Waymo, but there's, like, some.

[Jake Johnson]

They wouldn't get in the car.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's some way we legally before.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, Gareth, that's not safe. If I was driving a robot car and I was like, you know what? I just want to get in, and Eric or Steve is in the front seat with that energy, I would walk up and they would go like, this you, Jake? I'd go, I'm not on your way. Robot car. I popping in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's no other driver with Elvis chains on.

[Steve Berg]

Well, do you know the fun thing about spring salads is you can have a lot of different fun with fresh produce. I mean, I would be going on and on.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what you could do, Steve? Which actually I think people would love. We could combine it with your cooking stuff. What if you had, like, a little grill, Like a little, like one of those little, like, things you have like a foreman.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. And you're just. When people get in, you go like, hello, hello, hello, hello. And then you go, where are you up to tonight? And they're like, the bar. And they go, can I offer you some finger food?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got a pitch on that. What if we. What if with doordash. What if with doordash, someone gets to order nine ingredients to Steve and he has to make a meal without knowing what the ingredients.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, how fun. And such a challenge.

[Jake Johnson]

You know, this is also stuff they could just do on YouTube. They do things where like. But honestly, that. Like last meals and stuff like that. These guys. That guy Josh, who's great, who's done our show, he'll just do things where he'll, like, pull up to a place and say, like, you like this restaurant? You want to chat? So we could literally head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We could definitely do that.

[Jake Johnson]

It's like, it'd be really fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kyle would definitely do that.

[Steve Berg]

I'm available and I work at a reasonable rate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Strange twist. Anyway, okay, so quickly, before we get into that, so. So what happens, Jake? So Dan's all set up to be the driver in your head.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, but remember, Gareth, the setup where Dan. So then I thought, Steve, if I pitched you that idea now, it be different if you were in the movie. But let's say you weren't in the movie.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You'd be like, sure, but everybody loved you. It was like he and Dakota and Joe. Everyone gets along really well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a fun way to be incorporated into the.

[Jake Johnson]

And also honestly, to be the star.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right. Yeah. Spotlight. Yes.

[Steve Berg]

I don't get attention.

[Jake Johnson]

He gets the spotlight the whole time. He gets to rouse me whenever I go like, hey, my man. Honestly enough, it's. And he goes like, oh, oh. And I. He has the mic.

[Eric]

I don't.

[Jake Johnson]

Right. Just. Just fun. So my brother goes, I don't know. Maybe have a PA do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's on text.

[Jake Johnson]

Group text, pa.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And why though? But the motivation is partially because he's like, you're gonna need me. Like, he kind of in his head is like how a child pictures go into like, you know, your dad takes you to work day where you're like, I'll run the meeting.

[Steve Berg]

Actually, I'm gonna go with. Dan needs the. He's the one person of the group who needs his own town car.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. You know, that makes you shell out the two grand just so Dan gets a separate ride.

[Jake Johnson]

But I will say he did. Ashley hired another driver who's a total boar. The guy didn't make any jokes. He was just a professional 65 year old driver.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Regular driver.

[Jake Johnson]

He was just a driver, but doing his job well. Yeah, but it. It ended up being really fun. But we're going long, so everybody. Stevie, will you take us out with a quick song?

[Steve Berg]

Fifth. Okay. Film, film, film, cinema, cinema, cinema. What is it good for at the end of the day? For entertainment. That was a little Lou Reed talking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Way to end.

[Jake Johnson]

You take us out with a little excitement to get to the comedic podcast.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, lights, camera, action. A film festival coming your way. And what a bestie. Oh, he's got something cooking real big.

[Jake Johnson]

See? But it has nothing to do with film festivals, right?

[Steve Berg]

Oh, it doesn't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He wanted you to throw to the podcast.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, the podcast we're about to start.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, we're here to help. And we're going to find out if they actually help this time with Jake and Garrett. Jake and Garrett. Garrett and Jake.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll take care. Without further ado.

[Steve Berg]

That was pretty good. I like that one. Moving on. Good gate. Checking out a new deal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, let's actually take a meal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Without further ado. Hey, everybody, we just want to remind you if you want to watch new episodes of We're Here to Help. It drops a day early on Hulu, so you can watch the new episode a day early. And we're also dropping a bunch of older episodes from Season one and season two. So get involved.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. If you want to know what's great about Squarespace, Gareth Reynolds, tell them about your website.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, every, I, I keep building different websites because it's so easy with Squarespace, but I, I've been working with Squarespace for a while. Could not be more user friendly. They make it very easy and your website looks great. And we've built multiple websites on this show because it's so easy. They really, they help you find the domain, they help you get.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, here to help. Pod.com is our show website that is constantly evolving. And one thing I want to say, and that's a Squarespace. Guys, check out the website because it's starting to evolve a little bit. So we've gotten emails from people being like, where do I find the blank in the blank? Well, go to here to help pod.com which is a Squarespace website to get all the answers you need. Squarespace gives you everything you need. It's got cutting edge design. It's got, you can put donations on there fund directly on your website if

[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Steve Berg]

I think optimization is good.

[Jake Johnson]

There you go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Coming in at the end.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake Johnson, SEO tools. Talk about being left behind in the search. That would be Gilbyu Canada. An island by himself. Things are still going good. I've been talking into a microphone, but it's actually a shoe. I'm still in the closet waiting for someone to come find me.

[Jake Johnson]

But actually, Gil, it looks like your microphone is not plugged in, brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So sorry, I didn't understand how that was. Anyway, Squarespace slash. Gil sent me. We're back.

[Jake Johnson]

Save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain using Gil Sent me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're back, baby. Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

Hello.

[Nina]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

How are you?

[Nina]

I'm good. How are you?

[Jake Johnson]

You're here with the G man and I. What's your name, please?

[Nina]

My name is Nina.

[Jake Johnson]

Nina. Where are you calling from, Nina?

[Nina]

I'm calling from Pittsburgh.

[Jake Johnson]

Pittsburgh. And Nina, if you were gonna write up, if there was a book written about your life, what would the title be?

[Nina]

Oh, my gosh.

[Kendall]

Wow.

[Nina]

Running Forever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow, that's great.

[Jake Johnson]

That's cool. Is there anything about you do, track or just.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why am I writing it down?

[Nina]

Well, so I teach fitness classes based on, like, tread intervals, and I also run ultra marathons. I just love to run.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So that's great title.

[Kendall]

Thanks.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so what's up, Nina?

[Nina]

Okay, so I'm so happy that you all took this call because I really need help with coming up with a strategy for hypothetically, if I was selected to be on a reality competition TV show. I just. I feel like I need some sort of, like, anchor strategy to help me make decisions.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, Nina, is this more specific in terms of shows that you don't want to mention?

[Nina]

Well, so I'm still in the process of applying for it, and I. I don't know if I'm allowed to say the title, but I can maybe give details.

[Jake Johnson]

Tell us and we'll beep it out, but I can't live in the vagueness. I need the meat and potatoes a little.

[Nina]

Oh, okay. Okay. It's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Kendall]

Zane.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so isn't that fun?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Nina]

Where.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where in the process are you of.

[Nina]

I'm leaving next week to go on the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God. Okay, great.

[Jake Johnson]

Great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Jake Johnson]

That's what. Because I remember this email. I wanted to make sure this was the same person.

[Kendall]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's also great that there's actual stakes. I'm making my video for Survivor. What should I do?

[Jake Johnson]

I'm making it, but I don't know. I was like, mina, we can't help with that. If that was this one. I was like, okay, okay. So you're going to be on the show. We might have to. You know what, Natalie, should we just beep out the name of it and then whatever else? And Nina, is this your real name or a fake name?

[Nina]

It's a Fake name. I don't know what I could say.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, great.

[Kendall]

We should do a fake name.

[Nina]

We'll be about that. She said it one time. And then we'll just call it the show from now on.

[Jake Johnson]

Exactly.

[Nina]

So many times.

[Jake Johnson]

I love it.

[Nina]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Kendall]

Thank you so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so you're going on the show and you leave in a week?

[Nina]

Actually, a couple of days. Yeah, I leave in a couple of days.

[Jake Johnson]

So quick question. Just because the production side of these I find exciting. Gareth and I are big challenge fan. How long are you blocked off?

[Nina]

So they block you off for up to two weeks.

[Jake Johnson]

The whole thing is only two weeks always.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So, yeah, Strange, Jake, because what. Jake. What you thought was about to be said was three months.

[Nina]

They do, like, isolation for two days in a hotel room where they take all of your stuff, and then you're in this hotel room doing orientation, and then they put you in the actual game, and then if you get eliminated, it's like, I could be out in, like, I don't know, a couple of hours.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're gonna be gone for two weeks.

[Nina]

But I hope I'm gone for two weeks. Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You must be pretty excited. But what are. Yeah, of course. So what are you. Where are you at in your prep and what do you need from us? Do you want to give us any more? Lay the foundation. We're obviously very excited to be, dare I say, your game dads. I think that's a fine term.

[Kendall]

I like it. I like.

[Nina]

You're my game daddies. Yeah. So, okay, so I took a weird

[Gareth Reynolds]

turn when you said daddy, just so you know. For me, I thought it was weird

[Jake Johnson]

when you called us the dads.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, but then it said daddy, and it was. I was surprised you supported it, if I'm being honest.

[Jake Johnson]

I was trying to be positive, but it was a little bit cute with a cat. K E W T. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But now we're game daddies. And by the way, I'm back in. I like game daddies. Keep going, Nina.

[Nina]

I like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like it, too.

[Nina]

Yeah. Okay. Okay. So I feel like I have two helpful traits for this kind of thing. Like, I'm very empathetic. I can make friends easily. Like, I can form bonds quickly, which is great. That's, like, one aspect of it. But then I'm also very competitive. Like I said, I do these, like, ultra marathons. I teach these fitness classes. And so I'm not sure what side I should lean on more heavily. And, like, I don't know if, for example, we have to all choose to vote someone out. Like, the empathetic side of me will want to be like, no, let's save them. But then knowing that that can eliminate someone and then get me closer to winning, you know, then I would maybe want to eliminate them. So I feel like I'm just like torn between who I should, you know, what to focus on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Obviously Gareth and I could create a character that we would be excited about, but what are you excited about here? What kind of person do you want to be? What are you really specifically thinking you want help with? Of, like, we can talk strategy, but a lot of the strategy is you gotta adjust on the fly. You gotta see what the game is and be good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, that. That a part of yeah is. Is being skilled at luck. I mean, that's the intersection. But yeah, go ahead.

[Kendall]

Right.

[Nina]

I'm honestly just mostly excited to play. I feel like I just want. I'm on this like, quest for adventures in my life right now. And like, it just seems fun to meet a bunch of people into, like, be in this weird environment, like, learn something about myself. I don't know, just like play these games, try to win.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about this, Jake? What if she just got out of a long term relationship and she's here to sort. Okay, there we go. So you're here. So your angle is you're here, you're playing with house money, you're excited, but you think that a lot of this puts you in the headspace where you can win because you just want to win for yourself versus the. The kitty, the prize.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, well, let's do this really fast. Let's get crazy. Nina, tell us a little bit about yourself. How old are you?

[Nina]

I am 30.

[Jake Johnson]

Long term relationship, when did it end?

[Nina]

It ended like six months ago. Eight years.

[Jake Johnson]

Eight years?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Me?

[Nina]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And how did it end?

[Nina]

I know I. I ended it. I don't know. I felt like we kind of stopped growing. It was totally fine.

[Kendall]

We were all good.

[Nina]

We probably could have gotten married. It was fine, but I just felt like we deserve more of something and I wasn't sure what that was, so I was like, let's just take a break and, you know, I'll live on my own. Never lived on my own. I'm feeling great. I know. Thank you. I think he's doing well. So.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so that's very good. Now let me ask you a question. Economically, when you're running these classes, how are you doing financially?

[Nina]

Oh, well, that is like my fun job. I teach fitness and yoga for fun. But I have a Corporate remote, you know, 8 to 5, job that pays well.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so you money's not going to be your play.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, money might not be.

[Nina]

I don't know. Because if I did, I would feel better about maybe starting like my own gym or wellness center, something that I'm more passionate about that I don't want to do right now.

[Jake Johnson]

This could be good, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It could be. But let me tell you, whenever I watch these things and the per like it, like. Okay, look, I'm gonna confess. I've watched a lot of guys grocery games. If the person's like, I get to pay off my house, I go, hey, I like that. If the person's like, I want to take my kids kite surfing, I'm like, I don't care. It's the fantasy into hot like the hobby.

[Jake Johnson]

But Gareth, this is what I'm saying. If she wins, she's gonna open up a fitness and wellness company because it's her passion. She just got out of a long relationship. She got out of it because she thinks there's more. She thinks there's a better life and she wants all these people to experience it. She is earnest, she is honest. She thinks there's a way to play this game with integrity. There's just a way to do things. I've been running my whole life.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love it. This is. But this is a safe space, so I'm gonna pitch something, please. Near death experience woke her up. Realized she wants to do her passion instead.

[Jake Johnson]

I love it. I love it. Here's why I love it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, hold on, Nina. Let your two game daddies get weird.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, and here's why I love it. Everything about your story is so close to being a home run for the producers of the show. Eight years, gonna get married, corporate job, me and wife have kids. What a boar. But then a train almost hit her. But you want to want to know why? She was running with her headphones on, listening to the we're here to help podcast. And literally as she was running, the train was coming. One of the guys on the show went quack as a joke, talking about some stupid duck thing. She looked up the train to hit her. She jumped forward in that moment, Nina, when her life flashed before her eyes. She said, if I kept going with my regular life and I died right then. I'm not impressed with myself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This happened six months ago. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So I'm do. So I broke up with him because even though I love him, we're both doing great. I'm not being true. I'm the kind of person. I'm so scared to be here, but I have to try these big adventures because what listening to we're here to help. Did it help save my life? Taught me you only live once.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think it's right. I think you let fear dominate the first 30 and the next 30. That's not. You're going to dominate fear, and that's what brought you here.

[Jake Johnson]

And, Nina, how you're gonna play the game, and you say this on camera is no fear. So if that means you have to be make a harsh decision, you're going to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You started calling yourself House Money.

[Jake Johnson]

House Money. That's exactly right. So your nickname, your. Whatever your real name is, AKA House Money, they say why? And you tell that story. Your thoughts, Nina?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Nina]

I love this. This is really helpful, actually, because I think that's something I can. I could use. I could say that that's like almost a real story. I was running, listening to we're here to Help. And then I got maybe a car. Maybe I almost got hit by a car.

[Jake Johnson]

I love it.

[Kendall]

There's a lot of cars in Pittsburgh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Nina]

Yeah. And that made me not fearful. I love it. This is great.

[Jake Johnson]

So now we're gonna play a quick game. Nina, Gareth, and I are going to be producers of the show. Let's practice really fast, us asking you your backstory.

[Kendall]

Okay?

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. So they're bringing in a room. There might be some other contestants, too. They might do, like 10 at one where they just kind of go around. It'll feel like a weird camp. Okay. All right, so, hey, everybody. How you guys doing? Thanks for coming to the show, season three. I'm Jake, everybody. This is my partner in crime, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi. Really excited, everybody.

[Jake Johnson]

You guys are great. You were selected for a reason. Do not forget that. Have fun. Be confident. Remember, this is a game. Okay, so now what we're gonna do is we're gonna go around and everybody's gonna. We're gonna ask you guys some questions and just, you know, speak from the heart. You got anything, Gareth?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I think that's true. Look, just be honest. We want you to be compelling, but, well, like Jake said, this is a game. So let's go around.

[Jake Johnson]

And don't forget. Don't forget, don't forget. I can't say this enough. It is a TV show, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. And a game.

[Jake Johnson]

And a game. So we are thinking about energy, fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right?

[Jake Johnson]

Think about the people watching at home a little bit, but don't get in your head. Let's start with you, ma'. Am. Is it Nina Yes.

[Nina]

I'm Nina.

[Jake Johnson]

Nina, hey. Tell us a little bit about yourself. What's your story? What brings you here to the show?

[Nina]

Yeah, so I'm from Pittsburgh. I'm 30 years old. I currently work a corporate job, but I also teach fitness classes and yoga on the side. That's like my, my passion, my fun job. I really enjoy running. And so what actually made me apply the show is that I was out running in Pittsburgh early morning. It was kind of dark. I had my little headlamp on, going pretty fast. I've got my. My head fully bomb.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm liking where you're going. And yeah, it's annoying I interrupted you, but that whole setup. Snoresville. Okay, start with crazy story of why I'm here. We can learn all the other details. You like to run as it goes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's right. Headline, then story.

[Jake Johnson]

Exactly. Okay, so now let's go to you guys. Let's ask some questions. So you ma', am who looks like a runner, what's your name?

[Nina]

My name's Nina.

[Jake Johnson]

Nina, what brings you to the show? Why are you here, kid?

[Nina]

Yeah, I'm glad you asked. It's a crazy story. I was out running around 6am one morning in Pittsburgh. Really dark. I have my headlamp on. I'm running pretty fast. Listening to We're Here to help. Love that podcast. Check it out if you haven't. Really funny. And I. And I did not notice the walking sign was not in my favor. I continued running across the street at this intersection and just this huge Ford truck is flying at me. Sees me at the last second stops, I jump out of the way. But I had like a near death experience and I just felt like I needed to make some changes in my life after that because life is short. I've had a great life up until this point. Lots to be grateful for, but I just felt like it was time for some changes and some adventures. So I actually ended my eight year relationship. I got my own apartment. I started applying to crazy shows and just putting myself out there. And so that brought me here. So I'm excited.

[Jake Johnson]

Great Circle star, all the stuff. If I am the Jake character. Jake and Gareth characters are both their hearts are beating fast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. It's exciting.

[Jake Johnson]

You were 10 out of 10.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My only note would be start it with I'm here kind of because of a near death experience and then get into it.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, I like that. That's better than crazy story.

[Nina]

Yeah.

[Kendall]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And then after, once you're in it a little bit more then you could Say, you know, I have a corporate job. I wanted. My dream is this. But I realized that, period, you know, after the breakup and all this, I gotta make these changes. And part of me being here and I'm terrified to be here. This is so not. My personality is you only live once. And something like this show is a perfect opportunity for somebody like me who goes, how am I here? What? So that they get to get a promo also for their show where you go, like, I thought, what's the craziest thing I could do? And it was apply for the show. And I wouldn't say you're applying for a bunch of shows.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree.

[Nina]

Yeah, it's. I agree too. And that's not even true.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's crazy.

[Kendall]

Lie.

[Jake Johnson]

But it's only.

[Nina]

I don't even know why I lied about that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is why it's good we do this. This is the rehearsal for the spotlight.

[Jake Johnson]

But it's only this one, because what. When you near that, when you have a near death experience and you need to do something crazy, what's crazier than the show that's. They go like this promo. She gets it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Stick to that. And remember, you know, really go. Leave it all out there. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And in terms of one of your questions at the beginning, how should you play? Don't have a game plan. You have to actually. You got to be fluid in these situations. You can't go in at times, like, play with your heart. You seem like somebody who wants to have. Playing it like a. A game full of integrity and do the right thing. I just watched be. I'm watching Beast games. And you also see.

[Nina]

I haven't seen it.

[Jake Johnson]

It's fun. But you also see, like, certain people play the snake game. Certain people. People play the sincere game. You want to build alliances and play the sincere game.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do it.

[Jake Johnson]

See if you can get people together that you guys are loyal to each other and you play a real game. So who you are as a player can be closer to who you are in life. Who you are to the cameras and interviews and is a big story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And I also think when you're doing it, don't let the nerves be your thoughts. I think that all the time. Like, I think back to when I used to, like, start doing. I mean, it's very different, but yeah, you almost have to control that, like, negative voice in your head that tries to overtake, get it out, breathe through it, and just go for it. It's gonna be great.

[Jake Johnson]

Nina, how you feel?

[Kendall]

Okay, I feel great.

[Nina]

I really appreciate this. Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

Will you call with a follow up and we can ask you a bunch of questions of how it went, but you probably can't tell us what happened.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we probably. We could probably have a light follow up maybe about how the story played out, but then.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then once it airs, we can

[Jake Johnson]

actually have you back on. We'll have you back on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's exciting, though.

[Nina]

I think this is really good.

[Kendall]

You guys are good at this.

[Nina]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you're gonna be great at this.

[Jake Johnson]

Go kick ass on the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go get them.

[Nina]

Oh, my God. Thank you.

[Kendall]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

See you, buddy. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Quint. Lately, I've been more intentional. What I wear day to day. Leaning into pieces that feel easy, comfortable and put together just makes getting dressed simpler. Quince has been my go to. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are clean, and everything just works without needing to overthink it. This is real talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Literally tomorrow, going on the road for about 11 days and it's all quints. It's all quints. If it's not Quince, it's because it's soon to be Quince. It makes getting dressed easy. And I know that maybe sounds wild to some people, but Quince is my go to. I know that I look as good as I can.

[Jake Johnson]

I have bought probably nine Quint shirts. I do a bunch of the black T shirts and lately I've done the short sleeve collared shirts. And I'll tell you why. I can wear it on the pod. I could wear it out socially to a lunch, easy. But I could also wear it to a business event.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not kidding. I have a closet rack in my Honda Odyssey. This is getting sad, but I do. And it's just all Quint's stuff. Refresh your everyday with luxury. You'll actually use head to Quince.com here to help for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com here to help for free Shipping and 300 subscribers. 65 day returns. Quints.com here to help. Hello.

[Susan]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi, how are you?

[Kendall]

Good. How are you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great. Can we get your name, please?

[Kendall]

Sure. It's Kendall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi, Kendall. Kendall, where are you calling from today?

[Kendall]

I'm in Boise.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Boise. Beautiful. Whereabouts? I did a year in Boise.

[Kendall]

Oh, really? Yeah, just downtown. Regular Boise near the co op? Yeah, actually it's interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sounds like someone just got validated for living there for a year. Kendall, you ever. You ever DM'd a celebrity on Instagram to get him on your podcast and didn't hear back?

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Gareth felt more about you and less about her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, completely agree. Kendall, how old are you?

[Kendall]

I'm 24.

[Gareth Reynolds]

24. All right, Kendall.

[Jake Johnson]

Just a kid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Boise kid A Boise.

[Jake Johnson]

Kendall, your voice and your tone sounds older. Yeah, I thought you were gonna say

[Gareth Reynolds]

40 more adult kids.

[Kendall]

Yeah, I can go higher.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me hear that. Just as an option.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, let's start again a little higher. And let's hear what you think a 24 year old. You think I think a 24 year old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, here, we'll go from the top here. Hi, can we get your name, please?

[Nina]

Hi, it's Kendall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Kendall, where are you calling from today?

[Nina]

I'm in Boise.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're where? Sorry, you're a little quiet.

[Kendall]

I can't do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, all right, we'll stick with the natural one.

[Jake Johnson]

24, let's go. Natural.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Kendall, what's going on? What can we do for you?

[Kendall]

So my older sister is making me do a St. Patrick's Day, like, 5K Wraith, and I don't want to do it. I can't run very well, and so I want to get out of it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What does that mean?

[Steve Berg]

You don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're out of shape or you actually

[Jake Johnson]

have, or you just hate running?

[Kendall]

I just hate running. I just don't. I don't enjoy it. But she's all into running.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, okay. So what is the question? Tell her no. I don't know. She's pretty straightforward.

[Kendall]

Well, I wanna. I wanna get out of it or find a way to make her regret making me do it.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, I love the second half of your question here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I got pitches right off the bat.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, amazing.

[Kendall]

But.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But okay. Anything else we should know?

[Nina]

Not.

[Kendall]

She like, runs marathons. I can run. I just really don't want to. Like, I'm capable of it, but I just don't want to.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Special K, what are you looking here for more? You want us to get you out of it, or do you want us to get her to regret it? Because. Great. Both. Great options, but let's pick. Let's narrow it down to one. What you want more in your heart of hearts?

[Kendall]

I feel like it would stop her because she's been asking me for, like, three years to do this, like, trying to make me do it. It would stop her in the future from making me do it if I make her regret it now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like that for us too. I like make her regret it. So we're going to participate, but we're going to use this event as a way to send a lifetime note. Don't do this again.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a wheelhouse, Gareth one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like this a lot.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because I actually. Well, I've had this come up over the years, and my life. I think life eventually becomes a series of things where you said yes to something and you go, why the fuck did I say that? It's like future you is having to pay the bill for past you agreeing to do stuff. But I think you're right. You're young enough. Where if she's trying, she's trying to lead you in a direction. Look, there's a lot of great excuses surrounding a St. Patrick's Day 5K. And my first instinct is, let's involve alcohol. Now, you could do the straightforward, hey, I've been celebrating with green beer all week. So much that I'm pissing green. I can't make it. I'm too hungover. But I think we go one better where you get nice and tipsy and maybe embellish how intoxicated you are for the run, and we maybe even go as far as faking a green puke. But I think showing up to this tipsy, drinking at this, too drunk to perform.

[Jake Johnson]

Nailed it. If we're trying to get her to never invite you again. Kendall.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You actually barf at the beginning of the race, and it's where everybody has to run.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a total party killer over the barf.

[Kendall]

Yeah. She's intense, though. Like, she's a marathoner. She'll probably be like, suck it up. Why did you drink? Let's keep going.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. You know, I do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I think. I think we listen. These are two forces fighting. This is like the good guy, the bad guy shooting. We're fighting each other in the. But I do think drunk will beat persistence.

[Jake Johnson]

Right now you're going to run with her?

[Kendall]

I guess that's the idea. She said she would slow down for me.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. So she wants to do. Because for her, she's like, 5k is nothing. Let's just run and gab the whole time.

[Nina]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake, I'm gonna add. I'm gonna add a little to my pitch. I think this is what I think we do. I think we let her know you've been drinking the past two days. You're too drunk to do this. She says, I'm a marathoner. You can do this. You just gotta dig deep. I did it one time. Okay. I'll do It. We're gonna make a little fake green puke. And when she's on one of those moments where she's waiting for you, you're gonna barf the green puke on her shoulder.

[Jake Johnson]

When you hear Kendall, when you're hearing this, the idea of fake drunk and barfing, are you liking this path or no? Should we stay on it and heighten it, or should we go another direction? Where are you at?

[Kendall]

It is like it's within something I might do realize.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's. Here's why that's better or worse. Here's why this. We're. We're. We are going. You know, we're blitzing. Yeah, we're blitzing because we're trying to say this play doesn't work on us anymore. If you puke on her shoulder, down her neck a little bit, it's a ruiner for her. She's not going to be happy with you. But you did say, I don't want to do this. I've been drinking, and she's been pushing this healthy lifestyle. You're basically saying, look, I. You did this.

[Jake Johnson]

We can also change. And so I think we've hit something with the barf a little on her. What if we do this? What if we took away the drinking? And you just go like, I. I don't like these five kids. I'm just doing it for you. But I don't like to run. And she's like, it'll be great. Then as you're running, when you get towards the end, you start talking about, like, I don't feel well. Like this. I don't do this. Then take, like, a kids. A pouch of kids food that's just that, like, soft mushroom so she doesn't see. Fill your mouth with it and go like. And she'll be like, are you okay? Lean over like you're feeling weird. And then she'll be like, ken, are you okay? And make gargling sounds. And then, like, grab her into a hug and just spill the stuff out of your mouth a little so it goes down her back so she can't see it, but she just feels warm, wet applesauce, but it's, like, mixed with pears and grapes of garlic or corn. And she goes, actually, you go like this. Sorry, I don't feel good. And you go, I think I just barfed in my mouth a little bit. Then you finish it, and she'll go, I am never inviting her again. She fucking barfed on my neck.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's what we're gonna say. We're gonna say that you have a water bottle that is gonna be filled with the fake puke. And what you're gonna do is you're gonna take a big sip of it, hold it in your mouth as you're coming up behind her. You're gonna sludge a bunch on her back, and when she turns around, you're gonna let her see it come out of your mouth so that she thinks we got a belly full, not a mouthful.

[Jake Johnson]

And all you need to do is hit the back of her legs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

May I go one further? I want it on the number. These stupid running numbers. You puke on that may these p. They hold on to these numbers like they're, you know, like they're first place ribbons. You yarf on the back of that number. That's over who the is. You're not gonna get invited to another

[Jake Johnson]

one of these, by the way. Kendall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

I think he's right about the chicken noodle soup vibe. A little thing of soup or a little mixture. She doesn't know what's in your thing. Yeah, yeah, we're doing a couple things. Yes, yes, this is called, for lack of a better word, lard ass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Because if you go back to stand by me. Yes, we're doing run by Me, and that is we are setting up for the bar for Rama.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. Yep.

[Nina]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You sludge some on the number. Get a mouth, you get a mouthful, then you sludge it on her number. You put the lid back on, she turns around, you give her shoulder. Just ruin both numbers. The front, back numbers. Humans don't need license plates. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

[Jake Johnson]

If you really do this, Kendall, and it work and you pull it off and it's real and you don't break, you don't laugh after.

[Kendall]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

You don't throw it silly and then go, Sarah's on a podcast. If you really do this and she thinks you fucking barfed on her at mile two of a 5K and you're really apologetic and embarrassed and you have to stop the race. And maybe she doesn't finish either. She will be very nice about it. Annoyed with you. She will never invite you to run again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

True.

[Jake Johnson]

And that is what you called about.

[Kendall]

And.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And let me say this before. Before you answer, Kendall, this is what we don't want. Because we like this. We don't want you to say, yeah, I'm gonna do it. And then when we do a follow up, you say, I didn't do the puke, but I. What I did was I sort of Touched the back of her foot and I knocked her shoe off.

[Jake Johnson]

If you're in that I farted.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, if you're in, you're in. Because we like this. And this is. We're talking about. This is a lifetime pass to get out of this. So if you're in, you're in. If not, we could offer up some other stuff, but sometimes we'll do a follow up and something like, I loved all your stuff, but I just ended up call and sick. We want you puking on the back of her with some fake, totally right corned up applesauce in the water bottle. You yarf on her back, then she turns around, you do the mouthful so she sees it come out of you.

[Jake Johnson]

Kendall, take it away. If you talk to us, the only

[Kendall]

potential plot point is me having to carry a water bottle of corn.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But what is the issue there?

[Kendall]

Hold it. That she might notice it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're gonna put it in. You're gonna put it in a water bottle. A plastic, like, not a. Not a. Not a series, not a clear water bottle. Like a Nalgene, like a.

[Jake Johnson]

Like what is the one we've been both getting on the bikes. But also you can do it in like a peloton type plastic.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A little squirty water bottle that does not show the contents.

[Kendall]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, get those for two bucks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, real easy. You're gonna fill that with all the bullshit. You're gonna fake sip at the beginning. You know, put your lips on it.

[Jake Johnson]

Just go there a couple times.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, now keep going. Any others. Any other problems? How are you feeling?

[Kendall]

Well, I'll potentially still have to run

[Gareth Reynolds]

two miles that this, but again, barf early. Here's what we're talking about, though. We are. We are talking about this is your day of sacrifice. You're right. You might have to run.

[Jake Johnson]

You got to do some running.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But this is. We are working. This is the montage of the training montage we're putting you through is not, oh, my God, I'm gonna do a 5K. It's oh, my God. My sister's never going to ask me to do something like this ever. So you might need to run a mile. And if she's waiting for you, that's great. You might even want to say to her before, hey, I don't. Don't get too far ahead of me. I want to do a little bit of this with you. I'm really. I don't want to do this. That way we make sure you're barfing all over her and Like Jake said, you can barf on her real early. You don't gotta wait, like, three miles into this.

[Kendall]

It's true.

[Nina]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Thoughts? Yeah. You talk, Ken. I mean, because Gareth and I love it, but that doesn't mean it's the right thing for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's exactly right.

[Jake Johnson]

It's the right thing for us, but we want it to be right for you.

[Kendall]

I think I can pull it off. The after effect, having to tell my parents. Like, yeah, I puked on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She made you do it. You're the victim.

[Jake Johnson]

But, you know, you tell your parents, I didn't want to do this. She keeps inviting me. I don't feel well.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And she.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, I could start now pretending it's very early. I would say maybe a week, three days out. Maybe you're getting over something. We don't want to make them.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You need to be on antibiotics or anything.

[Kendall]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jake Johnson]

You know. You know what we're. You have something wrong with your stomach.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got a few weeks, Jake. We don't think you might be in hospital for the event. If you start now, I get. I like the enthusiasm. That's great. But you're right. Maybe 24 hours before the event, you know what it is? It's that you make her think you're trying to call out of it by saying you haven't been feeling well the past couple days, and then she's gonna say, oh, you're coming up with excuses. No, I'll still do it. But I'm just telling you, I definitely don't feel 100% at all.

[Kendall]

Right. And then I'm puking, and then you're

[Gareth Reynolds]

gonna spill the concoction on her back and have a mouthful of it. When you do that, you're gonna relid the water bottle, and when she turns around, it's. You're gonna fake the puke.

[Jake Johnson]

I think this is pretty tender.

[Kendall]

That might make me actually puke.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not an issue.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but, Kendall, what do you think? Because I think this works.

[Kendall]

I think it works. I think I really have to just commit.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so now you walk us through specifically what you're gonna do, and only if you're really gonna do it.

[Kendall]

Right. Okay. Three days before. Not now, I start saying, oh, my stomach doesn't feel so good, you guys. My kids make me run this thing. I don't want to do it. Nice. Slowly work my way up to the race. I pack my not clear water bottle of applesauce and corn. Am I still Making it green.

[Jake Johnson]

Whatever you want.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, because now we're saying this is just a genuine aversion to racing this in general.

[Kendall]

I'm not even drinking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna suggest we do apple. No, you're. This is a. So you're now doing this sober. You haven't been feeling well. You're not gonna be drinking. You're gonna do applesauce and chicken noodle. You're gonna mash it up a little bit, and then you're gonna throw some corn in it after, because corn always survives a puke for some reason.

[Jake Johnson]

But here's what I would like, Gareth. I would like now, Kendall, you to stop asking us questions and you start telling us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Agreed?

[Kendall]

Okay. Okay. I put my corn last, chicken noodle soup mixture in my bottle. I take it to the race. I kind of keep it. Maybe I have a little race belt, and I, like, stick it in there, but I pretend to drink it a little bit so she thinks it's water. Then we get a mile at most in, and I collar close, and I lean over her shoulder and I spit up a little bit of the piece on her back.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Kendall]

Preferably on the number.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. And then when she goes, ew, what is that? What do you say?

[Kendall]

Say, oh, I. I puked on you.

[Jake Johnson]

Say it like that, obviously.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right?

[Jake Johnson]

But, Kendall, unless you say, I puked on you in the. With no enthusiasm like that. If you can give that a little heat.

[Kendall]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Which I'm. You know, you're gonna. Your heart's gonna be bone. You're gonna be running. Let's do that moment one more time.

[Kendall]

Okay?

[Jake Johnson]

So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And, Jake, my. May I say let's. The sound sells, too. So maybe we hear Kendall's guttural, pukey sound before the. I puked.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's do this really fast. Kendall, I'm gonna be your sister. We're running. I want to hear the sound. You call me over for the hug and then barf on me.

[Kendall]

Me. Okay. Am I making the sound or. You're making the sound?

[Jake Johnson]

You're the one barfing, right?

[Kendall]

I'm making.

[Nina]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Wouldn't it be insane if I made the sound and then you barfed?

[Nina]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

That doesn't make any sense.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake,

[Jake Johnson]

it's gotta be you, right? That makes sense, right? All right, we're running.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Kendall]

We're running. Hey, McKinnon, I don't. I don't feel so good. Can you come over here?

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, you got it. Let's go, Ken. Let's run.

[Kendall]

No, you need to come over Here. I need.

[Jake Johnson]

I need Kendall. It's a 5K. This is simple. Let's go,

[Kendall]

please. I'm okay. Don't feel so good.

[Jake Johnson]

All right. What is going on?

[Kendall]

Okay. Oh, what the hell?

[Jake Johnson]

What. What just happened?

[Kendall]

I. I had to puke, and I just. I puked on you. I can't do this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't do this. Okay.

[Kendall]

I can't.

[Jake Johnson]

Kind of good, kind of insane.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like it. I got a couple notes. My first note is, here's what you've got to remember.

[Eric]

You.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're gonna need to. You're gonna need to sneak the sip. The puke sip. You're gonna need to sneak.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then you're Go. Hold it into your mouth, right? You're not gonna be able to talk through it, so you can't be on.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, wait up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're just gonna have to. You're gonna have to fight, get call for her, hope that she waits up. Even at the beginning of the race. You could say to her, don't get too far ahead of me. Okay? This is your thing.

[Kendall]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can get ahead. But wait up for me. When you see that she's waiting up, you take a sip. All that after the puke. I love the puke noise. All that's good. She's gonna go, you just throw up on me. And I want you to say, this is your fault. I said I didn't want to do this.

[Eric]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, that's great. All right, let's go back again. So we're running, and let's hear it happen. And you now have it in your mouth, Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can maybe hear a little bit of what we said before, but, yeah, we've got to be very aware that there's going to be a long pause. Right?

[Jake Johnson]

You can't say, come here, then take a sip. It's obvious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's going to be like, why do you have, like, noodles hanging out?

[Jake Johnson]

Mouth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's in.

[Jake Johnson]

Why you taking a sip of soup

[Gareth Reynolds]

and spit soup to a race? Why did you spit soup on me?

[Jake Johnson]

Exactly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you okay?

[Jake Johnson]

Well, that. Guess what, by the way, you'll never get invited back if you do that, even if it fails. But you spit soup on her, and she knows, and you fake barf. She'll go like, my sister's so weird. I invited her a 5k to be together. She brought fake soup in a water thing and pretended to bar soup on

[Gareth Reynolds]

my neck, poured it all over me.

[Jake Johnson]

I literally just wanted to bond with my sister and get some exercise. Exercise.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I guess she called a show about this.

[Jake Johnson]

She. She faked barf and then went like. And then said, you made me do this. I love her. I'll hang out with her in restaurants and bars. I'm never asking her to run again. So either way, you're gonna win. But let's see if we can pull it off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you and I love this lie, Jake, but this is really the truth here. I don't know karate, but I know crazy. We win either side of this.

[Jake Johnson]

Either way, you're not fighting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, so we. We are running.

[Kendall]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Good job, Ken. Huh? Hey, are you okay? Hey, honey, are you okay? Now my. I grab your shoulders. We're close. Are you okay?

[Kendall]

You made me do this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, come on.

[Jake Johnson]

Good shape.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I think we're. We're in good shape. You've got, like. This is our basement. I would. Honestly, this is what I would say. Jake. I. We want an update after the race, for your sake.

[Jake Johnson]

Jesus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Make the fake puke a week in advance and video yourself trying this out into the sink. See how it looks, all that. Do a prep version, film that for our purposes. Then you'll have the rehearsal out of the way. And I think day of the event, if you do something close to that, we're in a good spot.

[Jake Johnson]

We are in a great stop. That's excellent.

[Nina]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Either. Either way, it's gonna win. It's. Gareth is right. It's either karate or Krazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, One of the two.

[Jake Johnson]

The other person who is thinking of fighting you is gonna go, pass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I don't want this.

[Kendall]

This is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't want this smoke. This is crazy.

[Jake Johnson]

Or they know karate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yes. You either threw up or you made fake throw up.

[Jake Johnson]

You either go, you made me do this. And they go, do what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do what? Yeah. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You spit applesauce at me, then you go, yeah. They go, okay, do you want to finish the race? And you go, I'm going to go. And then she has to look around and say to other people, sorry, my sister spit applesauce. I guess I made her do it. And someone's gonna run by and go, don't invite family on these runs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't go to that. I can't go to the bar right after. I have to go shower because my sister threw soup and corn down my shirt.

[Jake Johnson]

Why did she do that? Because I invited her to a 5k

[Gareth Reynolds]

and I wanted her to. I wanted her to run, like, 20

[Jake Johnson]

blocks and then they'll go, don't invite her again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Oh, no, no. No way.

[Jake Johnson]

This is the Life thing, not her thing. I tried to push her into it because I thought if she just did it, she would like it. She's telling me she doesn't like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The amount of work she put into not doing it. She could have just got a train for this.

[Jake Johnson]

But no, we're gonna do something else together.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Kendall]

Yeah, it's perfect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so you have your walking orders or your running orders. A fake puke film rehearsal for you. Good stuff for us to see after the fact.

[Jake Johnson]

I would love to see a rehearsal video.

[Nina]

Go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then day of remember. Time it out. Right. Don't let her see you sip.

[Jake Johnson]

The fake piece is right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get it out, make the noise, give her the beat to be horrified, then hit her with the line. You did this. Or something like that.

[Kendall]

Okay, Kendall, thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's gonna be awesome. This is exciting. All right.

[Kendall]

Yeah, I'm excited. Okay, bye. Hello.

[Nina]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi. You okay?

[Susan]

I'm great. How are you?

[Jake Johnson]

Great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We know you're a follow up. That's all we know. So can we get your name?

[Nina]

Sure.

[Susan]

My name is Susan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Susan. And Susan. What was the first call?

[Jake Johnson]

I don't remember Susan at all.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't either.

[Susan]

I called because my. My boyfriend was eating in the bathroom in the middle of the night and leaving condiments.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Susan, I. I do remember. Not only remember you, I have referenced this as maybe the wildest problem this show has ever had. And I really mean that. This is a wild problem. So refresh people's memories on exactly what was going on, because it's pretty intense.

[Susan]

So in the middle of the night, he just, like, wakes up, he turns the shower on, and he sits on top of the lid on the toilet and makes, like, a corn dog or pretzel dog or whatever and brings, like, mustard or ketchup. I just drizzled it on there and then eats it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so. So he turns the shower on, he sits on the toilet. He's eating pretzels, corn dogs, whatever the hell it is. Again, you're good with all that. Your issue is that he's leaving condiments in there, and you're sort of like, this is a bridge too far. Which is fine. That's. You're good with that. So the problem was the condiments being left in the bathroom.

[Nina]

Bathroom, yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Our pitch that you went with was what I think I remember. Let's make sure.

[Susan]

Was to. To have a conversation with him about it and kind of set the boundary that, like, dude, you can't. You can't be doing this anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And was there any sort of threat of what you would be doing other than the conversation? It felt like we said maybe throw the condiments out if he doesn't fall in line.

[Nina]

Well, yeah, that if it didn't stop,

[Susan]

then, like, you know, the consequence would be like, I could just put his underwear in the microwave or start moving like, his shit in weird places.

[Jake Johnson]

That makes sense to me, actually.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Same.

[Susan]

Right. Jake also recommended maybe bank penning the condiments to the fridge, but that didn't seem very practical.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Susan]

But I did have a conversation and I sent you a voice note about it and it worked. Had an issue.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, we have. We have a voice recording of a conversation between two of them.

[Jake Johnson]

I would like to hear that now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, I would love to play it.

[Susan]

It.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're not sure about whether we're going to be able to use it on

[Jake Johnson]

Hulu because of him, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, because we don't know if we have his permission to.

[Jake Johnson]

Do we have his permission?

[Susan]

I can get his permission.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, we'll get his.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And so, Susan, was this conversation, Were you set up how it went? Was it totally real? Did he knew anything was going on? Did you hide the phone? How did it work?

[Nina]

I just kind of placed the phone

[Susan]

in my lap and I was like,

[Nina]

hey, can I talk to you about something real quick?

[Susan]

And just.

[Kendall]

Right.

[Susan]

Had a very breezy conversation.

[Jake Johnson]

Love this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, here we go.

[Susan]

So you know how like, sometimes, like, you eat stuff in the bathroom and like, there's condiments in there?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Susan]

Like, I would really appreciate it if, like, you didn't leave in bro, first of all, like, if you didn't bring the condiments in there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, first of all, you know, does having condiments in the bathroom give you the ick.

[Susan]

It gives me the egg.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Susan]

And I, and I love you. And I, I just, I want you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. If that bothers you.

[Susan]

Space for you. And like, I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sometimes I like having a corn dog while the shower's running. But.

[Susan]

Yeah, I know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I will. I. I will pre time condiment. If I do that, I will make a note to pre condiment before the bottle comes into the bathroom.

[Nina]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

That's, that's.

[Susan]

Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But, but I do want you to know I'm not like, taking a while I'm eating a corn.

[Susan]

I know you're not. I know you're not.

[Jake Johnson]

But.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Jake Johnson]

If it bothers you, I'll.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll make an effort to not do that. Okay.

[Kendall]

Okay.

[Susan]

Thank you.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, of course.

[Kendall]

You're the sweetest. Thank you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Love you too.

[Susan]

Bye.

[Steve Berg]

Bye.

[Jake Johnson]

You guys got a nice thing cooking. Great communication. That went really well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That came out of nowhere. You just literally set it on your lap, sat down, and initiated that.

[Nina]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Susan]

I'm just sitting on the couch, and

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was like, yeah, I just want

[Susan]

to talk to you for a second.

[Jake Johnson]

Can I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you say? Bye at the end? Yeah, the buy at the end is

[Jake Johnson]

crazy because it went so well.

[Nina]

And she said the same thing. She goes, why did you say bye?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because you knew. You were, like, on a Donnie Brasco mission. I. My. This is what I mean. It's amazing. Here's what creased me is his early, like, the way that he said, well,

[Jake Johnson]

he was wondering, how. How sideways is this gonna go?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He realizes this is not okay.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what I think, Susan? I think this is the goal of the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree.

[Jake Johnson]

Because we. You did not embarrass him. We weren't. He wasn't mad. It didn't make it worse. We didn't have to do this insane thing. But in the end, he goes, just so you know, I don't. I'm not eating a corn dog while I take a shit like a crazy person. I just like to eat corn dogs and put my condiments on while the shower's going. Why he likes that? Who the knows? But he does. So you said, I'm totally cool with that, but could you just leave the condiments in? And he goes, yeah. And guess what? If he makes a mistake and forgets it's gonna happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Nobody's perfect. But he knows, and, you know, he's working us it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

That, to me, is a healthy thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. You got a.

[Jake Johnson]

This is big.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bell rings.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, to such a. This is for everybody right now. There's a lot of issues where people go. People's expectations are too high of each other. It's why no one's in relationships. This is wheelhouse, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I agree.

[Jake Johnson]

You might be with somebody who's a sweetheart, who you love. He eats corn dogs in the bathroom while it's running.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Y.

[Jake Johnson]

He puts mustard on him in there, there. So have a conversation. Say, can you just leave the condiments in? And he's gonna say, babe, I hear you, and I'll try my hardest.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he.

[Jake Johnson]

He's a love story. Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This really is. I mean, again, it's. I, I. You know, if I'm. If I'm. Susan, I've got more issues than this. But you're happy he's Happy. That was a lovely conversation. He gets it. As he should. He's leaving mustard in the toilet. It so. But I agree. This is if perfect.

[Jake Johnson]

Sit down on the couch and goes like, hey, honey, I've been thinking. And I go, what's up? You're getting a little weird with the chimps. Yeah. And I'd go, huh. Just kind of a lot of chimp stuff these days. And I'd go, yeah. Well, I mean, because of the podcast, you go, not because of the podcast. You're getting a lot of chimp stuff. And I'll go, okay. And she'll go, how about five chimp things in our house? Other than that, let's be done. I'd go, seven. She goes, six. I go, I'll try, honey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love you.

[Jake Johnson]

And then I'll go, when I'm out there. And I go, that chimp thing would look great in our kitchen. I would go, she doesn't want it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Because, you know, you got caught doing the crazy thing. This guy knows he got caught. Like, the jig is honestly, he got caught it.

[Jake Johnson]

He's thankful that he had.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This got amazing. But he caved so quick because he's like.

[Jake Johnson]

He knew. It's weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is wild that I've been able to leave mustard in the bathroom.

[Jake Johnson]

I wanted it all, and you're giving

[Gareth Reynolds]

me 90% I love you. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. I also. We both know I can't. That I've been getting away with something weird.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And if you didn't say anything, I'm two weeks away from eating Thanksgiving in the bathroom with the shower on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honestly, I mean, I eat a whole turkey in there. The larger lesson here is that if you sometimes need to come here. Here for confirmation that you are right and you need us to just put some wind in your sails to say further your journey, because you have every right to say to your boyfriend, quit leaving barbecue sauce near where poop happens.

[Jake Johnson]

Preach. I didn't know that's what our show was evolving into, brother, but you nailed it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's an option. This show's a Swiss army knife. There's like eight tools. But I'll tell you what. But they all get used.

[Jake Johnson]

Even at Quarks Group, there's. There's definitely two tools. You and me. So, Susan, congratulations. How. How are you feeling?

[Kendall]

Thanks.

[Nina]

I feel great about it.

[Susan]

It worked. I did, like, was not as hard to. To. To do as I thought it was going to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Susan]

Just addressed it.

[Kendall]

It was.

[Susan]

Yeah, it was great.

[Jake Johnson]

And what's been going on since any Mustard in the bathroom? Him?

[Susan]

Nope, not a thing.

[Jake Johnson]

Has he had a corn dog in there or you don't even know?

[Susan]

I don't even know, but I have not seen any condiments.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Jake Johnson]

Then that's all that matters. He wants to eat a full sandwich in there. Do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is like turning lights on when raccoons are eating out of the bins. They know they're busted. They'll scatter.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what? It's also kind of like turning the lights on, and you got a guy dressed like a raccoon eating out of the bin, and you just go, hey, Randy. I see you, brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm sorry. I love you.

[Jake Johnson]

You do?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't know why I like to pretend to be a raccoon and eat garbage. And you go, well, I see you. And he goes, all right, you know what? I'm gonna keep doing this, but I'm not gonna leave all the garbage scattered on the driveway.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll clean up.

[Jake Johnson]

I'll throw it. I'll clean it up. And you go, thanks. And he goes, thank you. Actually, I should have been cleaning up the whole time because I'm not a raccoon. And you go, you're not Randy. And he goes, goes, yeah, I'm going to still eat out of the garbage. And you go, I love you. He goes, I love you so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's true. You've just. You've turned the lights on this little raccoon, and he still gets his garbage. He's just got to clean up. So total win, basically. Way to go. Great lesson here in communication. You did it in a loving way. It's a big win for us. So great work. And, yeah, let. Let him know we say hi.

[Jake Johnson]

Tell that guy, man, I might even try it one of these days. I've never had food in a bathro with the steam coming out.

[Susan]

Don't, don't, don't. Don't start it. Don't.

[Jake Johnson]

But all of a sudden, the idea of a moist corn dog. Why not the idea of a dry sandwich gone wet. Great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I didn't realize. Look, I think what Jake's saying is that maybe. Maybe this guy's on to something. Because if making food naughty, there's an

[Jake Johnson]

appeal there are making food wetter ste with capturing all the smells of a bathroom in the air with that moisture, putting it right and soaking it into the bread that you have with your soup.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I do like that he's eating a spongy item, so it can really. It just. He goes.

[Jake Johnson]

It kind of just Smells like, clean, like detergents, like really tough bleach for the toilet bowl as well as crap,

[Gareth Reynolds]

now that we're talking about it, honestly, to me, the craziest part, the shower being on. But again, this is your world. So we've got the condoms out of the show.

[Jake Johnson]

But Gareth, he likes moisture here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Doesn't. Doesn't clean up my issue, but I'm happy that the mustard is in the fridge.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, I'm gonna go eat a bowl of chili near a hot shower. Why? Because I'm a raccoon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because I. I don't know. Something must have happened when I was, like, 10.

[Jake Johnson]

Why are you doing that? I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, Susan, thank you for the call.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Way to go.

[Jake Johnson]

I wish you the best. Yeah, way to go.

[Susan]

Thanks, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Thank you very much.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Jake.

[Eric]

So I saw Hulu. I was watching some of the big show, and I got to see the one where I was on, and what do you know? I kind of feel like I'm on Real Housewives, and I'm one of those people that are like, you turned me into the villain. I wasn't so like that. I can't believe what the editors did, because you and the editors basically turned me into a punching bag because you just like making fun of me. Which is fine because I just make fun of you back. But not on Hulu, because on Hulu, it's all edited. So every time I'm about to say something back, it's like the Matrix where I can't talk anymore because zip, go on to the next one. It is shocking, shocking how biased this show has become on Hulu with your, like, magic editors. And it's very kind of, like, babyish of you that you're like, oh, make

[Jake Johnson]

sure I look good.

[Eric]

And, you know, you could beat up my brother, but don't let him say anything back. It's ridiculous. I. I feel like one of those people. People that are like, I can't believe what editors do. I'm not a monster. I'm a. I'm a nice person, but not on your show. So here's, like, the memo, like, for you and your editing team. You don't have to make you out to be, like, such a. A wise, cracking, smart guy and your brother, like, a punching bag dummy.

[Jake Johnson]

You don't have to.

[Eric]

It's, like, not necessary.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] heretohelp pod to see our entire catalog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grim Productions Executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdyke, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Nina]

That was a hategam podcast. That was a Headgum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Steve Berg]

Sterling K. Brown.

[Jake Johnson]

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that Was Us now on Headgum.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Each episode, we're gonna go into a

[Nina]

deep dive from our show.

[Susan]

This is us.

[Steve Berg]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Are we gonna cry? Yes. A little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot?

[Gareth Reynolds]

A whole lot.

[Jake Johnson]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to. That was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify.

[Steve Berg]

New episodes every Tuesday.