283: Leave It Inside & Dating A Newsie (with Jess Rona)

Summary

WE’RE HERE TO HELP – EPISODE 283 SUMMARY
“Leave It Inside & Dating A Newsie” (with Jess Rona)
Released: April 22, 2026

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OVERVIEW

Hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds are joined by special guest Jess Rona (Jess Rona Grooming) for an episode that lives up to the show’s reputation: providing heartfelt, unserious, but creative advice to real listener dilemmas. The episode’s two central themes revolve around communicating awkward truths—first, how to handle an elderly father’s confusion about conception, and second, how to approach a promising new relationship where a partner's vintage hat obsession becomes a dealbreaker. The trio blend wisdom with laughter, roleplay, pitch advice, and ultimately lean into empathy and playfulness to address each problem.

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EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS & KEY DISCUSSIONS

1. Pop Culture, Comedy, and Inspiration (00:35–08:43)

• Jake and Gareth muse on formative movies (Back To The Future, Groundhog Day, Bottle Rocket) and stand-up inspirations (Louie Anderson).
• They nostalgically recall the days of collective TV/movie experiences, contrasting with today’s fragmented viewing habits.
  • "You would know when America would all laugh together… that’s what’s missing." —Jake Johnson (03:39)
• Memorable anecdotes: Jake’s time working with Rob Reiner on New Girl.

2. ADVERTISEMENTS (Skipped in summary)

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3. CALLER #1 – JENNA: “Does My Dad Think I Don’t Know How to Make a Baby?” (14:19–41:42)

Situation:
Jenna from Cincinnati is bewildered: her 78-year-old father earnestly believes she and her husband don’t know “how to have kids”—specifically, he vocally wonders if they know the importance of “keeping it in.” Her sister relays this concern; Jenna wants advice on how to set Dad straight without unbearable awkwardness.

Discussion Points:

• Introductions to Jenna, her cat (Lizzie), and establishing the comedic tone around pets with human names.
• Clarification: Jenna and husband want children; problem is NOT about wanting kids or family pressure, just the confusion about “the mechanics”.
• Reluctance to directly tell her father, “I know how to have sex.”
  • “I don’t know if I can look my dad in the eyes and be like, I know how to have sex.” —Jenna (21:03)

Advice & Roleplaying:

• Straightforward vs. Indirect Approaches:
  • Jess proposes a calm, no-nonsense conversation in a neutral place (coffee, Chipotle) but group consensus: too awkward.
  • Comedic, indirect ideas take over: using humor, innuendo, and misdirection.

Notable Advice Bids:

• Animal Documentary Bit:
  • Have Dad over, put on a wildlife mating documentary, and feign ignorance—"Dad, what are those rhinos doing?" to force him to explain reproduction out loud.
  • “You make him do the talk. He’s talking behind your back... what you say behind someone’s back, you better be able to say to their face.” —Jake Johnson (25:44)
• Visual Montage Plan (WINNING IDEA):
  • Make a humorous video montage: include animal mating, euphemistic visual metaphors (rocket taking off, oil drilling, fireworks).
  • Jess & Gareth offer to record fake David Attenborough-style narration: “And now he’s finished inside you… that’s how babies are made.”
  • Overlay Jenna and her husband addressing Dad directly at the end: “Hey, Dad, we know what we’re doing. Please stop talking about us behind our back. We’re on our own schedule.” (35:06)
    • “What if it’s you two in bed, holding the phone up like you just had sex, and go ‘Hey, Dad, we know what we’re doing…’” —Jake Johnson (36:59)
• Execution:
  • Jenna will film her dad’s reaction, send the video in for help editing, and hopes the embarrassment will make him drop the subject.
• Memorable Moment:
  • The group riffing on how to escalate the video with a bedsheet reveal, animal sex montage, and Jenna’s real message.

Outcome:
Jenna enthusiastically commits to the animal-documentary prank, planning to capture her Dad’s stunned reaction for the pod. She leaves energized and grateful:
- “I am so excited that you guys have helped me with this. This is going to be great.” —Jenna (41:20)

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4. CALLER #2 – HALEY: “I’m Dating a Newsie (and His Wardrobe)” (43:13–73:34)

Situation:
Haley from San Francisco, an educator, has been happily seeing a new guy (“Ryan”) for six weeks. He checks many boxes—but she shudders at his recurring headwear: specifically, old-fashioned “Newsies” caps. Discovering a wall-mounted collection of similar hats at his home, she worries about introducing him (and his hats) to friends and seeks advice for tactfully addressing her aversion.

Discussion Points:

• Haley’s dilemma: not just one hat, but several; dislikes hats as a style point, especially “flat caps” and fedoras.
• Admits: “I’m not trying to yuck your yuck… but this is a Haley call.” (47:15)
• Jess points out that in relationships, you rarely love EVERYTHING your partner wears—but concedes it’s more “endearing” than “embarrassing” once you’re invested.

Advice Pitches:

• Become the Bit:
  • Jake proposes Haley get a matching cap: “There’s nothing dorkier than a couple in matching newsy caps… you become the hat person so that he doesn’t want to wear the hat.”
• Compliment Better Choices:
  • Over-compliment when he wears hats/outfits you like, ignore the ones you dislike.
  • “You in a baseball hat and a white T-shirt—whoa. Then that night, do what comes natural.” —Jake Johnson (60:47)
• Intervene at the Source:
  • Gareth: Wear full “flapper” gear in ironic response, see if he objects and open up a dialogue: “If he’s not into it… I have some issues with your wardrobe; I don’t love those hats.” (57:15)
• Hide/Remove the Hats:
  • Jess: Organize the hats into storage boxes, quietly remove visibility. Out of sight, out of mind.
• Borrow-for-the-School-Play Gambit (WINNER):
  • Use her school’s production of “Newsies” as cover: borrow Ryan’s hats for costuming, so they’re “in use” (or out of sight).
  • “The charm’s been worn off… Children were wearing these, my bad. Let me take you hat shopping as a mea culpa.” —Gareth Reynolds (66:30)
• Associate Hats with the Play (Subtle Messaging):
  • Every time he wears one, laugh and say, “You look like one of the kids in the Newsies play I’m directing.” Connect the hats with childishness, gently eroding their romantic appeal.

Key Quote:
“If all of a sudden I have to change based off your compliments… where’s my center?... You might have me wearing a hula hoop on my head chasing a compliment.” —Jake Johnson (62:53)

• Hosts offer comic sabotage pitches: hot sauce in the hats, faking a lice outbreak at the school as a reason to ditch the hats.
• Acknowledgment: If the fashion gap becomes symptomatic of deeper mismatch, accept that and “throw the fish back.”

Outcome:
Haley chooses the play-related plan: she’ll begin referencing her school’s “Newsies” production whenever Ryan wears a cap, and will try to borrow the hats for costuming, subtly nudging him away from his retro hat phase without direct confrontation.
- “I like this. I think it’s great.” —Haley (67:14)

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NOTABLE QUOTES & MEMORABLE MOMENTS

• "We're not here to give perfect advice, but we're doing our best." – The general ethos, shown throughout.
• “I just feel like it’s so weird…I don’t think I could say ‘finishing inside’ to my father.” —Jenna (21:01, 28:10)
• “Eric’s a walking estate sale… That’s my man.” —Jess Rona (54:17, 70:00)

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TIMESTAMPS TO IMPORTANT SECTIONS

• 00:35–08:43 — Pop culture, comedy, & TV nostalgia
• 14:19–41:42 — Jenna’s “Does Dad Know I Know How to Have Kids?” dilemma
  • 23:45–35:10 — Developing & finalizing the animal documentary prank/solution
  • 36:59 — Suggestion for “bed selfie” ending to video
• 43:13–73:34 — Haley’s “Dating a Newsie”/wardrobe intervention
  • 47:15 — Haley’s discomfort established
  • 55:38 — Matching hats “become the bit” solution
  • 59:38–61:16 — How to positively change a partner’s wardrobe
  • 66:01–67:14 — The play “borrow” solution
• 73:35 — Episode wrap

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SUMMARY TONE

The episode is playful, honest, and invites the guest Jess Rona into the hosts’ trademark dynamic of empathy-meets-comedy. Jake and Gareth model real friendship—teasing, supportive, and endlessly improvisational—offering not just solutions, but also affirmation that even life’s weirdest practical problems are better faced with humor.

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For Those Who Haven’t Listened:
You’ll laugh, cringe, and (maybe against your will) want to make a video of animal mating rituals to show your relatives. And if you’re dating someone with too many hats, rest assured: there’s a solution—though it might involve school plays, vintage shopping, or strategic sabotage.

Transcript

[A]

This is a Headgum podcast. This is a Headgum podcast.

[B]

And we are back. We were just going on the classic movie. I'm gonna get you, sucker.

[C]

That was just something fierce.

[B]

Gareth. What's a movie that, when you watch, just kind of defined it for you, just said, like, this is it. I want to get in the business. I love this movie. This is just what I like.

[C]

You know, when I was a kid, I fancied myself a Michael J. Fox. So Back to the Future.

[B]

Oh, my God, I've never seen that comp for you.

[C]

Back to the Future was like it for me. And I. I remember I used to go to super cuts.

[B]

Adorable, Garrett. I used to go to super cuts.

[C]

And every now and then someone would be like, you kind of look like Michael J. Fox. And I would be like, you don't say. The chemicals in my body are reacting in a way that I'm going to have trouble containing my enthusiasm for what you've just said.

[B]

I gotta say, I never saw that. But you got a little Michael J in you.

[C]

That was. He was it for me.

[B]

What is it?

[C]

Everything. I mean, I had the hard Casualties of War casual. Well, I mean, I liked it, but I was more the hard way. Like, I would watch. I would watch his bad movies over and over. I would be a staunch defender of doc Hollywood.

[B]

Interesting. What did you love about Michael J.

[C]

I just thought he was. I don't know, I thought he was. I loved Family Ties. He was funny on Family Ties. And then Back to the Future was just one. I mean, it was. You know, we're getting back to it now. But when movies were enormous events. Like, I watched Jaws the other day on a plane.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And. And then after, I was just kind of googling around about it. It's like that was that changed culture, the movies that absolutely shook a season of entertainment. And it was everywhere. And Back to the Future, I just, I. I just liked Michael J. Fox's style. I don't know. What about you?

[B]

Well, in terms of changed culture really fast, when we were doing New Girl, Rob Reiner, the great Rob Reiner came on and was Zoe's dad. And he would just fill the set with stories. He was just one of those. Like, he was exactly who you wanted him to be.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Funny and warm, sharing, sharing. But jokey. Willing to improvise. He and he and Zoe doing, like, song numbers in between stuff. And we got to talking about TV and we were all just saying what we love about it. And that is like, you know, a lot of people see it and it become parts of culture. And then he would go, you know, it's different. He goes, the numbers keep going down in TV as. There's different ways. But he goes. When I was doing all in the Family, he said you would record a joke that you knew hit and you'd go like, oh, that's a huge laugh. And he would go, and it happens at the 13 minute mark of the episode. So you would know when America would all laugh together. Because as it would be coming up, you could almost feel. Because everybody watched it at the same time.

[C]

Crazy.

[B]

And I thought, man, that's what's missing.

[C]

I agree.

[B]

Like that.

[C]

I agree.

[B]

So nice that culturally everybody watched the same movie when it opened, yet we were all affected.

[C]

Yeah. I.

[B]

It. It doesn't exist anymore.

[C]

It doesn't. I mean, well, New Girl was one of the, you know, I mean, even then you can. What? But there was different.

[B]

But people find it in their. New Girl is still. People are still finding it for the first time.

[C]

Oh, yeah. But that's the luxury of the secondary

[B]

era was you saw it together and it happened. And then creatives all adjusted to it. Then it influenced other Sopranos.

[C]

Like, when that was like ending, you were. Everybody, for the most part, was finding. Even if you had hbo, you'd find someone who had hbo, whatever it was. And you watch it at the same exact. Like, think about the Sopranos finale.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Everybody watched it and was like, what the. Just h. I mean, it was crazy. Fully a shared.

[B]

That used to happen back in the day with Mike Tyson fights.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Sports is the only thing that's still. It's still.

[B]

Sports still go on. Yeah, sports still goes on.

[C]

It's different. But it. It really was. I mean, you just had. This is so get off my lawn. But you just had less options.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So you savored what you had more.

[B]

Yeah. When I was a kid, it was always Bill Murray. It was. Well, he just. He looked like my family. He talked like my family. It just felt like he also was weird looking. He had acne scars.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you know there was like a certain. Yeah, but there was like a. Certain people pretend on TV and movies they have a certain look. And I was like, those people never make me laugh. The guys who make me laugh are like, my uncle who's so funny, or that, like, random guy is so funny. And Bill Murray was the beginning of like, I would watch him and be like, that's just a guy in the restaurant completely.

[C]

And he'd be a love interest and he would be.

[B]

But Even as a love interest, you'd be like, his shirt doesn't look good.

[C]

No.

[B]

I'd be like, he's balding. And then he would be so charming. You'd go like, I think she might like him.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was like, for me, Groundhog Day, I was like, this guy was incredible. But then it was. It was that for a while. And then when I saw Bottle Rocket and Swingers, that.

[C]

Yeah, because you felt like you could achieve.

[B]

No, because I felt like I was never a big. I was an SNL guy as a kid, but I stopped being into that in like fourth, fifth grade. So I liked all that stuff. But by the time I was in like high school, I was like, I don't know what it is. I was like, my dream is not to be. I don't want to be doing. You know, I just, There was a lot of. I was like, I don't want to be on that. Yeah, I would. I want it, I need it. But that's not the dream. And then when I saw Bottle Rocket, I was like, I. I want to be in that. I literally want to be dign. I don't want to do something similar. I want to be him. And I want to be in a movie where I have the crew and then I get ripped off. And then at the end I'm in jail. And then right after that was like, when I saw Swingers and then I saw Maid, I was like, oh, I want to be in a connection with like a John Favro. And I want to be Vince Vaugh or I'll be John Favreau. I don't care. I loved. Then I saw Rushmore and I was like, yeah, I was like. And then those guys did the bigger ones, like the old school. And I'm like, that's the bigger studio version, but it's funny as hell. Really quick question, then we'll get out of this intro. Who are the standups you looked up to?

[C]

The first stand up I loved was Louie Anderson.

[B]

Interesting.

[C]

I. I remember him doing bits about his mother and I was just. I thought that he was the funniest person on earth. Then I started to get. Once I started watching Robin Williams, but. But I literally remember watching, you know, going to Blockbuster and renting Louis Anderson stand up specials and just watching him do impressions of his mom. You know, the cat licks the butter, then the cat's dead. And I just was like, I was just. I was just dying in heaven. I mean, he just did impressions of his parents the whole time. Because in the 80s. I mean, you still have this to some extent where you've got to, you know, stand up, will make fun of their appearance or whatever the fuck that is not appealing to me. And he had to do that. That was like the, you know, the opening he had about how big he was or whatever. But the second that he started to talk about his family, you know, his dad was just. Yeah, his dad just kind of this acerbic, aggressive, ultra American man. His mom just paranoid about everything. He's got those big doughy eyes and he just killed me.

[B]

That's amazing. Everybody, enjoy the show.

[C]

Hey, everybody, we just want to remind you, if you want to watch new episodes of We're Here to Help. It drops a day early on Hulu, so you can watch the new episode a day early. And we're also dropping a bunch of older episodes from season one and season two, so get involved.

[B]

Yes. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. If you want to know what's great about Squarespace, Gareth Reynolds, tell them about your website.

[C]

Well, every, I, I keep building different websites because it's so easy with Squarespace, but I, I've been working with Squarespace for a while. Could not be more user friendly. They make it very easy and your website looks great. And we've built multiple websites on this show because it's so easy. They really, they help you find the domain, they help you get.

[B]

By the way, here to help. Pod.com is our show website that is constantly evolving. And one thing I want to say, and that's a Squarespace. Guys, check out the website because it's starting to evolve a little bit. So we've gotten emails from people being like, where do I find the blank in the blank? Well, go to heretohelppod.com which is a squarespace website, to get all the answers you need. Squarespace gives you everything you need. It's got cutting edge design, it's got, you can put donations on there, fund directly on your website if you want on there.

[C]

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[B]

Cool.

[C]

I think optimization is good.

[B]

There you go.

[C]

Wow. Coming in at the end.

[B]

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[C]

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[B]

Gil, it looks like your microphone is not plugged in. Brother.

[C]

So sorry, I didn't understand how that was. Anyway, Squarespace slash Gil Sent me we're back.

[B]

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[C]

We're back baby. Hello.

[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[B]

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[B]

Hello.

[A]

Hi.

[B]

Hey, how are you?

[A]

I'm good. How are you?

[B]

Good. Can we get your first name, please?

[A]

My name is Jenna.

[B]

Jenna. Where are you calling from, Jenna?

[A]

Cincinnati, Ohio.

[B]

Cincinnati, Ohio.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Hi, Jenna.

[B]

That's Jess.

[A]

Hello. Hi.

[E]

You sound so excited. I'm so curious to know what you're gonna say.

[B]

Well, first of all, that is Jess Rona. Jenna from Jess Rona Grooming. She's an actress.

[E]

That is where I'm from.

[B]

But she has created such a monster of a business, apart from her other talents. That is impressive.

[E]

Wow. Thank you so much. I received with gratitude. Thank you.

[B]

With gratitude and love.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

So, Jenna, you also got the Care Bear. Gareth Reynolds is here.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

He hasn't created a side business like just run a grooming that exploded on social media for you, Joss.

[C]

It really did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Jess made these videos. You would put like a song to a dog.

[E]

Yeah, that's old school. I used to make these videos of dogs blowing in the wind in slow mo and then the song would crescendo as the hair would blow and the eyes would block into camera.

[A]

It was very epic.

[E]

And that's kind of what got it all started.

[D]

Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah.

[B]

So, Jenna, anything you should know about you before we start? Got any dogs?

[A]

I don't have any dogs. I do have a cat.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

What's the cat.

[A]

Her name is. Her name is Lizzie. She's the best.

[B]

Did you name. How come you came up with the name Lizzie for a cat? What made you think of that?

[A]

Well, so when we got her, we thought she was a boy, so we called her Grizzy. And then when we found out she was a girl, I didn't care having her name Grizzy, but apparently my family cared, so they were like, let's make it Lizzie. And I was like, okay, now she's got like a human name, but it fits her. It's great.

[E]

That's so cute.

[B]

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

[E]

I love that.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Now did you know that?

[B]

Go ahead, Jess.

[E]

I was just gonna say like, like human people names like Chris for an animal. It just cracks me up. There's really no dog named Chris? No, there's just really no dog named Chris. But I, I doubt. I bet this is the only Lizzie the cat.

[B]

I feel the same way. It's just such a regular name.

[C]

Dave Anthony has a dog named Larry and it's endlessly funny.

[B]

I love that Larry, but Larry's a funny name. Yeah, Lizzy or Chris as a dog,

[D]

like, yeah, you know.

[B]

Oh, by the way, Steve Berg has a cat named David and he has one named Steven Jr. Yeah, but David killed me.

[C]

David. David Berman, I think is its name.

[E]

That is so funny. How did I not know that?

[B]

Yeah, that's pretty good.

[C]

Steven Jr.

[B]

Yes, Jenna? What is the problem today? Take over.

[A]

So my problem that I need help with you guys today is how do I explain to my 78 year old father that my husband and I do in fact know how to have children and how the process works. We just haven't yet.

[B]

Explain this problem. What does it mean?

[A]

So he lives with my sister and he apparently over the last couple of months has been talking to my sister, worried that my husband and I don't know how to make a baby. Apparently he thinks that we don't understand how to conceive a child. And the reason we know this is because he looked my sister dead in the eyes and goes, do you think they know they need to keep it in?

[B]

Oh my God.

[C]

What?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So my sister calls me and she goes, you have to have a conversation with dad. He thinks you don't understand how to have kids. And I have reassured him multiple times that you guys know what you're doing, but he thinks you just don't understand how it works.

[B]

Okay, And I just, I'm gonna jump in something for Jess and Gareth here. This call Is not about. Does Jenna want kids? And it's not about the dad's behavior about anything regarding his desire to be a grandpa.

[C]

It's not about telling the dad, no, we're not having kids.

[B]

And it's not even having that conversation. This is. How do we explain to Jenna's dad? Or how does Jenna that she and her husband actually know how to have sex and make a baby if they want it? Is that correct, Jenna?

[A]

That is exactly right. And yes, we do want kids. It just. It just hasn't happened yet. But.

[B]

Yeah, and also. But this is stuff you need to talk to your dad about.

[E]

Yeah, I'm picturing a scene.

[B]

Why do you keep going?

[E]

I'm picturing a scene where we're in neutral ground so there's no emotions. We're just neutral. You know, maybe there's like, a cup of coffee, a Chipotle.

[A]

Great.

[E]

Well, yeah, okay.

[B]

Yeah, cup of coffee, sure.

[E]

Just something. And then you can just sit. Sit dad down and just say, hey, can we talk?

[B]

Keep going.

[E]

And just keep it really grounded. Connect eye contact. And then just let them know, like, you understand how babies are made.

[B]

Jess, let's do this really fast.

[E]

Yeah, let's.

[B]

You and me in the scene. I'll be the dad.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Let's see how that plays, because that feels. I'm hearing it, but I'm not positive. So we're in a neutral area, and

[E]

you call your dad dad. You just say dad.

[A]

Yeah, Yeah, I call him dad.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Here you go.

[E]

Hey, this is like. Okay, we've already scheduled this thing.

[B]

Yeah, we're just hanging.

[E]

We're just hanging. Dad, I was wondering if I could just talk to you for a little bit.

[B]

Of course.

[E]

Okay. I've heard that you don't think that I know how babies are made. Well, is that true? No, I just.

[B]

Well, you don't have a baby. I don't know if you guys know what you're doing, because it's not that

[E]

hard to do, but, like, you really think we don't know as adults?

[B]

I mean, you don't have a baby. I don't know. You don't have a baby. You know, it's not that hard to do.

[E]

So the only way you would think me and your mom made you is if we aren't. Right.

[B]

Me and mom made you.

[E]

You know, have it. Has it ever considered. Have you ever considered that we don't want a kid and we know how to have a baby?

[B]

Jess, that's not what this is about, okay?

[E]

You're Right. I thought about right when I said that.

[B]

That is not what this is about.

[E]

You're right. Okay.

[B]

This is why I wanted to run it.

[A]

I don't know if I literally, like. I don't know if I can look my dad in the eyes and be like, I know how to have sex. I just.

[B]

Okay, so, Jenna, hold. Let's do this really fast. Okay, but Janet, before we do that, really fast. Gareth, you're the dad. Jenna, let's hear how you would say it to your dad. Let's hear you do it.

[A]

Oh, okay. Hey, dad, can I talk to you for a second?

[C]

Absolutely. Jenna.

[A]

Yeah. Hey. So I know that you love kids. Love them all. Right.

[C]

Love them all.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And I know your work. No, you're right. I know that you're worried maybe that why we haven't had any kids yet. I want to let you know there's

[C]

got to be a reason, so.

[A]

Well, I know you're. You might think that we. We don't know what we're doing, but I. I promise you, Dad, I know how to have sex. Okay. I know what I mean, but.

[C]

Well, did your sister talk to you?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, she told me.

[C]

The problem is not the sex. It's. The very end is really the key to all of this stuff. Yeah, you have to. There's the last part, which maybe you don't know. I don't think I explained it right. When you were kids.

[A]

Well, I. I think mom had that conversation with us, but I. I should have been there.

[C]

I was working.

[A]

I.

[B]

Really interesting take on dad.

[A]

You did a lot. You did a lot for us, dad.

[B]

Also not what the call's about.

[C]

Gareth, I'm in the middle of something.

[A]

Yeah, I'm also. I just. I know that you're worried that we're not keeping it in long enough, but I promise you, we are done. We are.

[C]

He's done. Done.

[B]

All right, Jenna, I'm gonna. Jenna, I'm gonna jump in here. Your instincts to kill. This was right. This is not something that could happen with you and your dad.

[C]

I've enjoyed it.

[A]

It's insane. I can't believe this is even happening to me that I even have to have this conversation.

[B]

Okay. But I wanted to run that by. Because it was our first pitch and I wanted to see. I don't think we do. A lot of people listen to the show and go. Just go the straight shot. So we tried the straight shot. I think that would be a really weird thing to do with your dad. Jenna, what are you kind of feeling right now, are you feeling. You want to walk away from the straight conversation and see if there's another way to do it?

[A]

That's what I would. I would like to do. I mean, if I have to talk to the street, I'm sure I could, if you maybe help. I just think a different way might be better.

[B]

Okay. In your heart of hearts, if the what zone are you kind of thinking? Because we can just start pitching.

[E]

But yeah, like, also, like, what if you made it light, like a joke? What if you're. What if you're, like, you know, cleaning up after dinner, and you're just, like, making a joke of it? You know, like, oh, dad doesn't think I know how to have baby. But, you know, I don't know.

[B]

That's interesting.

[E]

There's not a joke, but just, like, that kind of energy.

[C]

I got some ideas along that line, which is like, you could just set up a series of moments, like, have dad over for eclairs. And as you're making the eclairs, you fill the eclair, and either you or your husband go, leave it in. Finish on the inside. Just like, making a baby, huh, dad?

[E]

Or that's a good one.

[B]

Or, Jenna, you never say the making the baby. You do it like the movies used to do it, where they're comedically simulated that showing sex happens between two characters. Or where you have, like, a rocket ship takeoff, or you've got, like, a drill bit going over and over, drilling the oil.

[E]

And the montage.

[B]

The montage.

[E]

You could also do something passive aggressive and just leave a bunch of books and literature around. Like, this is how babies are made. So you don't even have to say anything. You could just be like, oh, just doing some light reading. And, like, I. I know all this stuff that's in this book. Oh, you know what?

[B]

You could also do that passive aggressive. Next time he comes over, leave a bunch of condoms in your bathroom so that he's like, oh, they know what they're doing. They just don't want.

[E]

Don't want it.

[C]

That's a pretty good pitch, too. I was gonna also say have him over, have some pizza, and put on an animal documentary. Just, like, random. Oh, let's watch this. But you've cued it up, and it's just wildlife. And you very easily can just be like, oh, yeah, well, they're gonna have some young soon.

[B]

Or, here's a crazy idea. Here's a crazy idea on that one, Jenna. Let's heighten this and make your dad. Because your dad is the Guy who created this problem, not you. So, yeah, put a documentary on of animals and go, dad, what are they doing? You make him do the talk. He's talking behind your back. I'm a big believer of what you say behind someone's back. You better be able to say it to their face.

[E]

So behind her dad, explain it.

[B]

I know it. But then it's gonna kill him. But behind his back, he's saying, I don't know. They know what they're doing. So then go like, dad, what are those rhinos doing? And he'll go like, you know. And you go like this. I don't. And he'll go, rabbit sex. And you go like that. And then have him go like, honey, this is like. And then have your husband go, I've never seen an action like that in my life, sir.

[C]

I love it.

[A]

I think we got a little bit.

[B]

Go ahead, Jenna.

[A]

No, I love that. I think my husband. I think my husband would totally be game because when I told him about this, he was like, oh, my God. Does your dad like, what is your dad thinking? I love that. But, Gareth, what were you gonna say?

[C]

I don't want to talk past the clothes. I like that. You like it. I think it's funny.

[B]

Pitch, baby. Pitch baby.

[C]

My last one was gonna be have him overhear a phone call where your friend is pregnant and of upset about it. And you go, they know, dad. It's kind of weird, but it's like, normally, I guess they don't take a lot of precaution. She's not on the pill. She thought he pulled out, but I guess he finished inside. And now she's so sad.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So, Jenna, the animal stuff is more.

[E]

That's really. Yeah, but I really like a pregnant one.

[B]

Me too. Let's not think fun. Let's think effective, and then we can make effect of fun. What do you like, Jenna?

[A]

I like the idea of turning on something with animals, only because I don't think that I can say the words finishing inside. Like, I just don't think I can say those words. What feels better?

[B]

Well, it's too bad. I don't know if I could say this around my mom.

[E]

Could you say, like, my mother's here right now?

[A]

What about. What'd you say?

[B]

Keep going. We're not. No, no, no. She said, to completion.

[E]

Is that better?

[D]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[A]

I. I just feel like it is so. It's just so weird that, like, I. I just don't think I could say that. I think if we pulled Something up. And maybe we kind of just played dumb and see maybe how he explained it. Yeah, maybe that would get his. Maybe then it would give him the opportunity to say his piece or admit

[B]

in that moment that he's being ridiculous behind your back. And you guys might know.

[A]

Oh, so then, like, tell him like, like once you, like, if he boxed

[B]

Jenna, then you could go, I thought you were telling. What's your sister's name?

[A]

Her name's Allison.

[E]

You could go like, that's my sister's name.

[B]

You could go like, I thought you were saying, Allison, that you didn't know we knew what we were doing. So what's happening here, dad? And then you go, mind if we film it? He's like, okay, you know what? You guys are being.

[A]

Oh, this is like, probably would get him to stop.

[B]

That would get him to go, no, no, no, no, no, big daddy. You want to stay behind our back? I'm an adult woman. This is my adult husband. So will you explain what's happening to us, like the children you think we are? Or I would have your husband do it one on one with him.

[A]

Oh, that might be kind of cool.

[B]

Because then your husband goes to him. He goes on and goes like, hey, sir. Because I'll tell you, I would feel way more comfortable with my wife's family doing something that would mind to go like, hey, sir, I've got a question for you. And he goes, what's going on? But you go, you know, we're interested in kids. And he goes, I've been dying to hear that. He goes, you got any idea how to do it? He goes, what do you mean? You go, how the do you get these things? I've been looking all over for them. How do you make them? And he'll go, what? And you go, he goes, I'm actually being serious, sir. How do you make a baby? So that he has to explain to him.

[E]

Would really have to commit to that, and he'd have to be a decent actor.

[C]

It's the, it's the, it's the third party issue. We've got Jeff.

[B]

Okay, you're right.

[C]

I, I, I, My gut is animal. If you show animals. I mean, this is what I was thinking real quick. Jake. Yeah, we could have, if we wanted, we could have Kyle just edit together a bunch of animals, and it could just be kind of like, what is this? And just throw it on. And then it's kind of random. But then, you know, and that would

[E]

be really nice if we wanted service

[C]

to Jenna, if we wanted, I could Do a fake. I could do. I could do a fake Attenborough over it and keep saying, and he's finished inside.

[E]

And this is how babies are made. And that's why they'll have a little box on screen.

[C]

He's finished inside you.

[E]

You could also, like, do a combo. You got your literature, you got your pregnant friend, you got sex on screen with animals. He could be like, okay, like, that way you don't even have to speak.

[C]

Then you go in the bathroom, there's condoms stuck to the mirror.

[B]

So, Jenna, that's fine.

[A]

On the couch. And there's just condoms everywhere.

[C]

Oh, sorry.

[E]

I don't hate that.

[B]

That's kind of a pinata.

[E]

Vers direct explanation.

[C]

That's. That's.

[B]

So Jenna.

[A]

I re.

[D]

Go.

[B]

Go to you. No, go to you now, because we've given you some pretty good pitches, and I think we've got a winner in this mix. But what are you going to do here?

[A]

I really think that if I have my dad over, maybe just with my husband and maybe my mom, because I don't really know if she even knows what's going on with him, but have him come over, we finish eating, we come in the living room, and I turn the TV on, and it just happens. I love the idea of the commentary with Gareth because then I think it can really get the point across of, you know, that and then just saying, like, hey, dad, what is this? What do you. What is that?

[B]

Jess, would you be willing to be in the commentary, too? Yeah, let's do a Jess and Gareth commentary on it where they're two narrators of this.

[A]

Okay, great. Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

So I think I can. I think I can have it on, and I can say, what is this? And hopefully he's gonna say, well, what do you mean, what is this? I mean, I. And then I'm assuming he'll probably. I'll say, well, I don't even know what they're doing. And maybe then we go. Or, what's the best way for me to verbiage, you think after.

[B]

You know, we could do what they're doing. You know, we could do Jenna at the end of it, Gareth and Jess could say very clearly, we could do this as a prank to your dad. Go, what's happening is they're making babies, because obviously. And say your dad's name, obviously, Craig, Jenna knows how to make babies, and you shouldn't talk.

[E]

Yeah, well, just, like, really just say it. And you can also put text on screen, finishing outside, a very big message.

[C]

Planet Earth's finishing Inside.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So that at the end it finishes and he's allowed to laugh, too. But it's going like, your behavior's crazy, man. And this isn't a talk. This is just getting crazy, dude.

[E]

I think I would actually think that would be really funny.

[C]

I like that.

[E]

I don't know if I should also do the commentary.

[A]

I like that. Because then I think. I think my dad would be like, oh, yeah, no, okay. I. I was out of line. Like, maybe it'll put it into perspective to him that, like, yes. Come on. Like, right, get it together.

[B]

What video do you want from us? What would be the most helpful for you?

[A]

I. I kind of really like the idea of at the end, like, his name is Rick, being like, rick, she knows what she's doing.

[B]

Oh, how about this? How about this, Jenna? What if it goes on and then your voice comes into the thing?

[E]

Oh, I love that. Hey, dad, guess what.

[B]

Hey, dad. And then he's hearing. So he's just watching where he's like, what is this? And it's short. It's like 30 seconds where the whole family's like, ew. Why are we watching these animals having sex? And then they. It's like, you know, whatever you want to say, Gareth, of setting up with, like, sex in the animal kingdom. It's similar to humans. It's the way the world works. And then all of a sudden, it stops at, like, the climax. We'll have Kyle do, like, rockets going off, all the things that simulate the end.

[E]

A sponge squeezing.

[B]

A sponge squeezing. Fireworks, firework, all the stuff.

[C]

Oil drilling.

[E]

That's how it works, people.

[C]

Everyone knows Rick, you just have to finish inside.

[B]

But then. No, not you. Then she jumps in, hey, dad. Hey, dad.

[E]

Yeah, hey, dad, guess what? Hey, Rick, me, Jenna. You can also have Rob. What if we have Jenna and Rob and just being like, hey, dad, it's us. Guess what? We know how babies are made.

[B]

So you don't.

[D]

For watching.

[B]

Yes, we. And we're on our own schedule. We know what we're doing. We don't need you talking anymore about it. This is really embarrassing stuff, and we hope you're as embarrassed as we've been. And then it's like the last shot is an animal having sex again, where you're just like, ew. And then it goes off.

[A]

I think that that would be. I. I love the idea of having. Hopefully Rob would be game to do it. I think he would be game for having the voice at the end. And we could say, listen, dad, clearly we know what we're doing.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Stop talking about us behind our back.

[B]

I love this.

[A]

We will do it.

[E]

You know what I'm also picturing?

[B]

I love this.

[E]

Yes. I'm also picturing the montage being like. I know you said 30 seconds, but, like, you know, giraffes fucking cheetahs fucking. Just like, boom, boom. All these different animals, like, crazy. And then over that, like a calm voiceover. Hey, dad. It's just like, the crazy. I think that would be really fun. Just, you know, I love the idea of, like, the finish, like, the rocket and stuff. That could be a fun ending. A big crescendo.

[D]

Super fun.

[E]

You get, like, a little music in the background.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And even put yourselves on camera. Put yourselves on camera. It could be really low.

[A]

Low buds.

[E]

Just like, get yourself on camera.

[B]

Film yourself. You're just talking about talking on the iPhone where they're on the camera. Oh, my God. What if it's you two guys in bed?

[C]

Yeah, I was just gonna say love that.

[E]

With like. Yeah, you're just. You're in bed.

[B]

You're holding the phone up like this, and you guys are laying on your back with your shirts off, and you're. It's above the shoulders, so it's like you just had sex and go like, hey, dad, we know what we're doing. We just don't have kids yet. Stop talking about us behind our back.

[E]

So direct and also funny. Because we wanted dad to laugh a little.

[B]

Yes. But be humiliated.

[E]

Sure, sure.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

He would.

[A]

He would definitely be like.

[D]

All right.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, he would probably be, like, backpedaling like crazy.

[B]

I didn't say. I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

[C]

So I love how.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Just to my dad.

[A]

Yeah. He'd be like, your sister is making this up. And I'd be like, no, he's not. No, no.

[B]

You know, we could do as a. As a button. There's a beat, and then you pause it. And then if your dad says that, then you get video of your sister going, I'm not making this up. Dad really asked. And then it's the direct quote. Oh, that's because then he's. And it's also a nice lesson. Stop talking behind each other's backs. Shut up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So tell us now what you're gonna do.

[A]

I am going to have them over, and we're gonna have a nice time. Act like nothing's going on. No big deal. We'll come in the living room, and I'm gonna turn on the tv. And just say, oh, let's watch this. Whatever, turn it on. And it will be the montage. And there will be some kind of all of these different animals living their best fucking life and doing everything. And then hopefully some good overlay with some Gareth remark.

[E]

Do you have an Apple tv, Jenna? Joanna?

[A]

I do.

[E]

Because you can. You can just stream it straight from your computer. So you can make it on your.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And you can get it on the Apple tv.

[B]

Well, we're gonna have. We're gonna have a guy make it. So Gareth with Kyle.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, perfect.

[E]

So then I'm down to do voiceover if you need. I just feel like it's more authentic to just have the one guy's voice.

[C]

Well, do we even need the voiceover? I mean, do we just want to have them thing? And then at the end you just kind of say what it is. Like we just do the montage. Fireworks, Oil pump. Then you film your thing and then you just cut it in.

[A]

Oil pump.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, like. Like drilling for oil. Yeah, yeah, like oil. Spl. Oil.

[A]

That's.

[C]

And. And then you just go, hey, dad, it's us. We're also animals and we know how it works. We're on our own timeline. Love you.

[B]

And Jenna, you could film that. Gareth is going to hook you up with Kyle, who's going to do the editing of this. And so if you film that, he'll just put that in the clip.

[C]

Yeah, so we'll give you a fuck montage of 45 to a minute and then we'll just end it with you and Rob in bed explaining to your dad, hey, we get it.

[B]

So all we need from you, Jenna, is that 20 second clip to email in. And then the next thing you're going to get is the video.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then we need you.

[E]

This whole problem.

[B]

Yeah, and we need you to film the whole thing. Your dad watching it, the reaction after.

[C]

Yes. Set the phone up near the TV for when this happens.

[A]

Obviously I can abs. I can absolutely. I could get like a. I could set my phone up in the corner on my dad.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I can have like my husband's phone on the TV and we can get like a full. I can only imagine. Like this is. I hope now he learns.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So this is fantastic.

[C]

Next up, Jenna, film you and Rob in bed. Send that to the show, get it to me. I'll work with our guy Kyle and we'll get that back to you. Then you can set up the sting.

[B]

Huge win and we'll go. So just to be clear, yeah. Jenna, are you excited about this?

[A]

I am so excited about this. And my, my, my parents live so close. Like, we could do this very quickly. Like, it could happen very quickly where we. As long as, you know, I give this stuff to him, we'll get it back. I mean, we could do this quickly and hopefully he can just. Just fill the F out.

[D]

Not.

[B]

So I want to talk to Kyle today.

[C]

Sure. Send that video in and then we'll get the rest done.

[A]

I am so excited that you guys have helped me with this. This is going to be great.

[E]

And it was an honor helping you.

[A]

I'm. I can't wait for the rest of you.

[D]

I'm so thankful.

[B]

Thank you for the call.

[A]

Probably not the craziest thing that you guys have heard, but it's pretty great.

[C]

I mean, solves great. All right, Jenna, send that in.

[B]

Set us. Send it back to us. We'll be in touch with you. And thank you so much for the call.

[C]

Thank you, Jenna.

[D]

Thank you guys so much.

[A]

Nice to talk to you.

[B]

You too.

[E]

Thank you.

[A]

Bye.

[D]

Bye.

[C]

Bye.

[B]

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[B]

I have bought probably nine Quint shirts. I do a bunch of the black T shirts and lately I've done the short sleeve collared shirts. And I'll tell you why. I can wear it on the pod. I could wear it out socially to a lunch, easy. But I could also wear it to a business event.

[C]

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[A]

Hello?

[B]

Hello.

[A]

Hi.

[B]

Hey, can we get your name, please?

[D]

My name is Haley.

[B]

Haley, where are you calling?

[A]

Hi, Haley. Hi.

[B]

That is the great Jess Rona from Jess Rona Grooming.

[E]

That's me.

[D]

Hi.

[A]

Oh, from Jess Rona Grooming.

[E]

Hi. Do you know. Do you know who that is? Do you know?

[D]

I. Are.

[E]

It's okay if you do tell me.

[D]

Are you?

[E]

Don't even worry about it.

[D]

But I don't want to embarrass myself.

[B]

What's your thought?

[A]

Are you.

[D]

Are you married to Eric Ecclestein?

[E]

I am. I am Eric Echelon.

[D]

Oh, my gosh. I've definitely looked you up on the Internet before.

[E]

I'm so glad. Yeah, I've been just like, you know, Lucille Ball, like, waiting behind the curtain, ready to hop onto this fucking podcast. Is it my turn yet? Hello?

[D]

My. My question really involves grooming in some way, so you're really the perfect party.

[B]

All right. Haley, where are you calling from?

[D]

I'm calling from San Francisco.

[B]

San Fran. Cool. And how old are you, Haley?

[D]

36.

[B]

You got any dogs?

[D]

No dogs. I would say I lean a little bit more Cat.

[B]

But you don't have.

[D]

I appreciate your work, Jess. I don't have any pets right now.

[B]

That's cool. And what do you do in San Fran? What keeps you busy?

[D]

I work in education. So I've had lots of different jobs from teaching, leading in schools.

[A]

A whole.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Range.

[B]

What do you think of all the hot take stuff?

[D]

I love the hot take stuff. I think it's great. I think that when you're getting kids excited to be sharing their opinions and just excited to come to class every day, that translates to so much else.

[B]

I totally.

[E]

Kudos.

[B]

And have you seen the new website that was made?

[D]

I have not.

[B]

Www.www.hottaketuesday.com Gareth, I don't know if you know about it.

[C]

I don't think I've seen it.

[B]

But we've been emailing back and forth and they've made an official Hot Take Tuesday curriculum, made a website for. To send to teachers and educators to try to spread this around schools.

[A]

I've never heard of it.

[D]

I'll send it around.

[A]

It's fun stuff.

[D]

Oh, it's a beautiful website. It's super cute. Okay, sorry. Distracted?

[B]

No, but it's really nice. So, Haley, take over. What do we got today?

[D]

Okay, I am calling in because I started dating someone about a month and a half ago and seems like a great. He's really supportive and seems really great. We're obviously still getting to know each other. And our first date was on the phone, which, you know, circa 2020. And we had a great conversation. So much overlap. Interesting. Same things. And then first date in person. We went out to dinner. Instant chemistry. Feeling the good vibes. And he was wearing, like, jeans and a sweatshirt.

[A]

I was like, okay.

[D]

I didn't really, you know, nothing stood out about his outfit. Date number three. And he showed up wearing one of those flat caps, like a Newsies cat cap for the musical. And it was. It was.

[A]

It's really bad.

[D]

It's so ugly.

[B]

I think that's an Eric cap.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait.

[C]

Oh, he does. He does.

[E]

Are those bad?

[C]

I don't think it's bad, but third date is sort of like, what is this, a child?

[B]

If you now say he was wearing a trench coat that he got at an estate sale, I'm now worried. It's good.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That. Erica.

[D]

I would say I hold my ears, and then. We're not into it.

[C]

Yeah, I. I could see both sides, but I get you.

[B]

You like it on air.

[D]

I'm not trying to yuck your yuck.

[B]

Yuck. No, it's a good.

[E]

But this is a Haley call. Fun. Sure. Yeah, of course. So you're horrified by this.

[D]

I'm not into the hat. And he. Yeah, he wore it on a third date. He wore it again this week. And I'm, you know, I'm gonna start introducing him to people in my life, and I'm really worried he's gonna wear this hat.

[C]

So he's really ugly. I mean, so this is a hat take problem.

[B]

This is a perfect problem for our show.

[A]

My hat take is. This is really bad.

[D]

It's a bad hat take.

[A]

And the first time I went to

[D]

his place, he has a whole wall of hats.

[E]

Oh, no.

[C]

Of this kind of hat.

[A]

It's really bad.

[C]

Of this style of hat.

[D]

There were many of this style. So I'd say five or six, which is five or six too many. He's a hat guy.

[B]

You hate hat guys.

[D]

And I.

[C]

It's this type.

[A]

I think if you're gonna wear a

[D]

hat, it's especially this type of hat.

[A]

Like this.

[D]

Or a fedora. No go. But I also generally.

[E]

Why don't you like Haley? Why don't you like that?

[D]

They're really unattractive.

[B]

I gotta say. I'm kind of with Haley on this. Like, really?

[E]

What about, like. What about, like, a British guy, like, with a scarf and, like, he's, like, getting his.

[D]

Maybe.

[C]

Maybe but it does look like he

[B]

really doesn't sound like that guy.

[A]

No.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Older.

[C]

A fox hunt.

[B]

But, like, I'm a big fedoras on men under a certain age. I'm with you.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

The newsy cap on. Because I've seen Eric so in it so much. But anybody besides Eric I'm not a fan of.

[C]

That's how I feel. Eric, yes.

[E]

Everyone else, fedora.

[B]

Okay. But. So, Haley, he's got. What are we calling this guy? Eric?

[D]

Let's call him Ryan.

[B]

Ryan. Okay. So, Ryan, do you like everything else about Ryan?

[D]

Well, I think his wardrobe in general is. Is. Is not ideal. That's a larger question. Beyond the hats.

[E]

Yeah, but you're, like, really embarrassed.

[D]

So far, so good on everything else.

[B]

And what would you describe his wardrobe besides the hats? What is the wardrobe? What is this guy looking like?

[A]

Okay, so the sec.

[D]

That date that he wore the hat. He wore a camo polo shirt and kind of quasi dress pants. We were going swing dancing, so maybe that's why. But other people wear their normal clothes when they go out dancing.

[B]

He wore a coat the other night.

[A]

He wore. Yeah, it was bad.

[D]

It was really bad.

[B]

It was not good.

[E]

I didn't even know they made polo shirts in camo.

[D]

Yeah, he wore another polo shirt the other night. And he's not preppy. He's an artist. He's not.

[E]

Is he one of those guys that tries to dress in a different era? You know, like, they're kind of trapped in that other era. Is he one of those guys?

[D]

I don't know. I haven't broached the conversation about his wardrobe yet. It feels a little too soon.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

Okay. I have to tell you guys something.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I don't. Okay, this is my experience. I don't love all the things that Eric wears.

[A]

But.

[E]

And I know. And it's too different.

[B]

I can't handle this. It's too real. My heart's gonna break.

[E]

Hold on. No, no, no. I love him so much that I don't care. You know? And I see and I want him to feel good and be happy.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know, but you don't like when he wears. I'm not going too deep.

[B]

Jaz. You don'. When he wears garbage from an estate sale.

[E]

I actually love that. It's just, you know.

[B]

You don't like when he wears a jacket with dirty Kleenex from another man.

[C]

When he uses Peter Fox handkerchief.

[B]

That's not a background where he goes, dude, he used this while sick.

[E]

Could you say that every single person loves everything their partner wears. There's got to be a time when you don't like what your partner agrees, when you're like, oh, I don't love that, but I'm not going to say anything.

[B]

I agree. But here's what's different about this one.

[E]

It's only, this is a new.

[B]

This is a new relationship.

[E]

So when you're mortified.

[B]

Well, it's also. Yeah, I'm guessing. Haley, it's more of, do I try to fix this, or do I move on? But we had. So what is the. Because now we have a pretty good sense of what's going on lightly between you and Ryan. What is the specific question we could help you with?

[D]

How do I steer him away from wearing these hats ever again?

[B]

That's a such a hard question. I was hoping it wasn't that, because that is such a complicated one. He's got a wall of hats.

[E]

Yeah. Okay. Are there hats you do like? Let's start with that. Do you like.

[A]

Okay, yeah.

[D]

When we're out hiking wearing a baseball hat. That's fine.

[A]

Like a.

[D]

A more felt, felt hat, but specifically the felt. The flat, brimmed hats.

[B]

Haley, I got a crazy pitch. You go. You go. I want to hear what you were going to say.

[D]

Well, I just want to acknowledge what you're saying, Jess. And I have thought about it a lot, and I don't think trying to change your partner is a great strategy or.

[A]

Or.

[D]

And wanting them to feel comfortable and good in how they feel is very important. So I hear you. And I ultimately aspire to be as enlightened as you.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh, wow. Yeah. Thanks. I feel seen. But you can also distract hats. You can get a Get. Continue buying him hats you like so that he will wear it to make you happy. What if he did that and you're, like, overly complimentary when he wears a hat that you like and then don't say anything when he wears a shitty hat.

[B]

Yeah. Is there an outfit that Eric wears that you hate so much that you have done a strategy to get? Because we know. And I'm a guy who's got bad style.

[C]

Tell.

[B]

But sometimes Eric will. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

But sometimes Eric will. I'm just wearing black. I look like a stage manager at a theater these days because I've just given.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But Eric, every once in a while, will show up to a lunch, and I'll just go, wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow. And then he'll go, what? As if I'm the crazy one. And I'll go, I'm not even Getting into. He'll go, you got something to say? And my real thought is just, wow, sure. Is there anything that you're like, that's too much for me? It doesn't change my love for the man, but I have to get him away from that article of clothing.

[E]

I don't have the bandwidth or energy to do that, and I don't care.

[B]

Perfect match.

[E]

I never have.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Good.

[E]

Do you, baby, you want to wear the thing you.

[B]

Yes, babe.

[C]

You want to go out?

[E]

You love it. You do.

[B]

Loving it.

[C]

Eric's a walking estate sale.

[E]

Sometimes I took him to that Mannix estate sale, by the way. That was me taking him. And I got a pair of pumps and a purse and a cardigan.

[B]

Were there any garbage in any of those things? And you kept it?

[E]

Unfortunately, no.

[B]

He did keep it. It was the garbage that got the garbage. Yes, he did. He was excited about it

[C]

from when he was sick.

[D]

Sick.

[B]

He goes, brother, he was sick and used this. And I'm like, yeah, stop it.

[E]

That's not a flex.

[B]

It's not a flex. But, Haley. So I've got a crazy pitch for you.

[C]

I got a couple, too.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And I'll tell you what I think would work. I'm putting myself in the shoes of Ryan, and he's like, you know, I got this new gal. It's working. I'm a cool artist. I got a cool style. The ladies seem to like it, but he's kind of the star with his clothes. What if you got matching hats and wore them, too? Because there's nothing dorkier than a couple in matching newsy caps. He thinks he looks cool in it, but he would not think both of you looked cool in it. So you become the hat person so that he doesn't wear a hat. Then you lose your hat, and then you do the jesting. You compliment him so much without the hat.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I like the idea of getting a hat and joining the bit.

[A]

He.

[D]

I think partly he wears a hat because he is not as blessed with Gareth's, you know, permeable, luscious hair.

[E]

She just said Gareth. She didn't say anyone else. Okay,

[C]

try to point out permeable.

[A]

Well, you have perm. Yeah.

[D]

Anyway, so I think that part of it is he wears a hat to cover that up.

[E]

And.

[D]

And I think the hair could also use some assistance. Like, it needs to just be. He needs to accept that he's balding and just cut it back as opposed to kind of, you know, wafting it up in the front to cover up the situation.

[E]

Does he comb it from the back to the front to create fake bangs?

[D]

No, no, no, we're not.

[B]

We got a guy like that doing

[D]

that in China, though.

[B]

We've had that caller.

[D]

Yeah, not bad.

[B]

We got an English guy in China doing that exact look.

[C]

We like, like, we're like. We're an employment agency.

[B]

We literally got a guy who does and little bangs and we got a

[C]

limey in China who's doing that.

[B]

We've dealt with that call.

[C]

Take them out on the tail.

[E]

Nightmare.

[B]

Gareth, what are some pictures here?

[C]

I think, look, like you said, hats are not the problem. I like Jake's attack the hat style. I almost think, what if you just. And this requires some from you, Haley. But what if you just start dressing like a flappers girl? You start wearing some really weird clothes. Almost like you're going out to, like, do the Charleston or something like that. Make him feel a little uncomfortable. And then you could sort of say, do you like my outfit? Something like that. If he's not into it, you could say, I have some issues with your wardrobe. I don't love those hats.

[D]

Oh, man.

[C]

My other pitches. Take them off the wall. Take them, take them and see what he does.

[E]

I was gonna say something just like that. Yeah, say it.

[B]

What were you gonna say?

[E]

Well, like, what if you got some cute organizers from the Container Store? Those, like, little canvas boxes and, like, act as though it's like a thing that you're doing to, like, help him organize. Take it off the wall, out of view. You can't. He doesn't even know what he's got.

[D]

Out of sight, out of mind, out

[E]

of sight, out of mind. Maybe even replace with hats you like. And then anytime he goes to grab a hat, when you're going out for dinner or whatever, just grab his hand and be like, let's go. You look so cute. And just like, distract. It's like, you know, having a toddler, you just distract. It's like, you want the cookie? Want the cookie? Let me get. You know, like, I'm gonna distract you with this toy or whatever.

[B]

Haley, I gotta get rid of this one now.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

I don't think it's a match. I think you. I think you break up. Yeah, let me pitch a couple.

[E]

Break on the hat.

[B]

But it's like, you don't like his hat, you don't like his style. We're talking about changing so many. He's not an unhappy gentleman. He's like, I got. Not only do I like hats, I got a wall of hats.

[D]

So I was talking to a friend, a guy friend, and I was saying, I don't like what he wears. That doesn't feel too materialistic to cut someone out for that reason. And my friend said, well, I would love if someone told me how to dress.

[B]

So you just don't know.

[D]

I don't know if he's attached. I don't know if he's attached to what he wears or if he just

[A]

wears it, because that's what he wears.

[C]

He doesn't know what he's doing. None of us do. Honestly, something like, you could be a force for good cha. This is what I would say. All right, buy him two hats. You find two hats. You like, buy him two hats. You give him two hats. You go, I know you like hats. Here's the two hats. Anytime he's wearing one of those caps, you just start to say, what about one of my hats? Do you not like my hats? Personalize it a little bit. Make it so that your emotions are a little tied to these two hats. And that might eventually, as you get more comfortable, unearth this thing of, like, do you not like my newsy caps? And you'll go, yeah, but do it.

[E]

Do it cute. Do it cute. Like, instead of, like, combative, just be, like, kissing and like, oh, you like it. Like, just, like, be cute about it. You know?

[B]

What do you. Is he, like, a Giants fan in San Fran? Does he like the 49ers? We could go a really easy route.

[D]

Oh, yeah, Maybe a Giant's hat.

[A]

I don't think he's a sports person,

[D]

but he just went to a game.

[B]

But if you could get him, like, a vintage, cool Giants hat.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Where he's like, oh, this is cool. I'm all, I'm an artist. This is. Oh, this was from, like, the 80s. 80s. You're like, yeah. Then he's like, that's cool, actually. And then go, oh, my God, you look so hot in it. And then when he puts another hat on, go like this. Oh, my God, you look so much better in a baseball hat. It's like your face fits it.

[C]

I think that's the right kind of ego.

[B]

And then do just that for a while. Then get him a shirt and go, like, I gotta tell you, you got a nice body. You shouldn't hide it in camo.

[E]

Oh, this is so good.

[B]

And then he's like, you like a fresh white tea. You know, you go, I gotta tell you, you in a baseball hat, in a white T shirt. Whoa. And then that night, do what comes natural.

[C]

Do you know what they keep. Here's the thing. Nobody wants to eat tv. D. Right? He's eating, like, because he doesn't know that there's a better meal out there. If you present a better option and you say you like it, I am very confident he'll start going in that direction. And I think Jake's right. Like, aim it like that. You're gonna win.

[B]

With, like, you. You get three white T shirts and a cool vintage hat. He'll go, I'll just put this hat on. And then he'll always. And then go ahead.

[E]

I was just gonna ask you guys, Jake and Gareth, what if Ryan confronts her and he's like, do you not like my hats?

[C]

This is.

[E]

I feel like we should at least, like, give her some tips. Just. You're trying to change me. Well, start something then.

[C]

You might be in the Jake zone where. Look, if he's. This is. Honestly, my reaction would be this. I would. You know, if he says, would you not like these hats? I'd say, can I be totally honest? I just don't think they're a good look for you. I think you look better in this sort of stuff. I just think. I just think you look really cute like that. And my friends think you look cute. I think it's just a better look.

[A]

Go to the. You look.

[E]

You look good in this versus I don't like this. Yeah, I like that.

[B]

But Gareth, you know me on this. So, you know, if somebody gives a compliment or a comment happens and you start changing for it, I think it's a big mistake. So I'm a believer. I. This. If I were Ryan, this would be a breakup for me. If somebody said, hey, wear this. And I went like, yeah, thank you, you. And they go, you look so much better. You don't look so great. The other stuff. And I go, well, 36. I've been wearing it for a while. And they go like, yeah, I know, but I like you with this. Then in my heart of hearts, I'm gonna go, maybe I should find somebody who likes. I'm an Eric guy in that. Then maybe I should find somebody who likes me for what I like to wear. Because I'll tell you, Haley, I don't give a what you wear. Be happy. And if all of a sudden I now have to change based off your compliments, where's my center? Because all of a sudden, you might then have me wearing a fucking hula hoop on my head, and I'm going, everybody likes it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're chasing a compliment.

[C]

I Think you can at least motivate the conversation this way. And if he gives you that, then you can make that decision, you know? But I. I mean, you very easily then could just back off and just go, look, if you love it, you love it. Go for it.

[B]

I, like, don't want to be with you. I'm not turned on by you when you're wearing polo camouflage. And he goes, then get out of my bed. There's a line of ladies.

[C]

Is there?

[B]

No, you have to.

[C]

There's a wall of hats.

[B]

There's a wall of hats.

[E]

A line of ladies. A line of ladies. You notice when you. When you said you guys should break up, how she was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Like, I know you want to make this work, so that's really good that you want to make this work. And I know it is a little materialistic, a little bit.

[A]

Right.

[D]

That just feels. I'm not that materialistic that I would end a whole relationship over what someone's wearing. People are month of getting. Yeah.

[B]

Also. But you're only a month in. It's like this. If you go to a restaurant and you go, like, really cool location. Great. Oh, Vietnamese, my favorite. I like it. And then you go, menu's weird. Well, don't go, how do I change the menu? There's another Vietnamese place three blocks away.

[E]

Or how do I change myself? And how do I look inward and

[A]

say no and learn to like a

[B]

menu that I don't like?

[A]

Yeah, what if that sounds like legendary restaurants? Lunch.

[C]

Or there. Or you can put that on. Or you could just rub hot sauce on the inside of these hats you don't like. And he'll develop a little bit of a rash. And you say, I think it's something to do with that material.

[B]

Stop wearing them, by the way. A little bit. By the way. Put a little bit in that, you know, you could do. You could say there was a. You're in education, right? So you can say there was a lice breakout and you're try on all his hats one day and do a funny thing and be like, look at me in this hat. Look at me in this hat. And then be like, oh, my God, look at me. And then go the next day go, oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed to tell you I have lice. You got to get rid of all those hats.

[C]

You got to shave your head. Oh, my God, you look so good like that.

[D]

You know what's interesting is that the school I work at is doing a production of newsies. So what I could borrow his hat for the production. Tell him.

[B]

Or they all got life, they all have lice.

[E]

Or.

[B]

Or the kids haven't given them back.

[E]

Or. Yeah.

[C]

All pitch to all this is you've just been in newsy's world and you can't shake the fact that he looks like a little newsy boy and it's distracting. Yes. I mean, there is something to the idea. All the students are wearing newsy hats and now my partner's wearing a newsy hat. It's kind of a weird.

[B]

But Haley, I also love. Can I use any of these hats for the kids? Kids now once I've seen little boys and girls wearing them. You like, look, I liked it before. Can I can. Because I ruined this for you. Ryan, Can I just buy you three baseball hats because I'm associating it with kids.

[C]

Can we go take you out for hat?

[B]

I'll pay. Yes, but I. I ruined this for you and it was my fault.

[E]

But then you're the hero.

[B]

But once I associate anything with kids, it is just not sexy. I just see you as a nine year old boy singing on a little box about buy a newspaper for 5 cents.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

So can we please. I. I want to take you hat shopping. Can we. I want to pay for it. But you can obviously keep the hat. But is there any way you can not wear them around me? Is that so rude? So. And he'll go like this. No, I don't care.

[C]

Haley. I think that seems to have tickled all of our fancies. If you say, let me borrow the hats for the production at the school, you take them there when you're bringing them back, you say, honestly, it's kind of. The charm's been worn off. Children were wearing these. My bad. I fucked up. Let me take you hat shopping as a mea culpa. And then you're kind of the new administration without him knowing all the details. Right?

[E]

Or you can also just not give them back and just say, oh, I forgot, I gotta go get them. And just like kind of like act like you just forgot or maybe they were lost, accidentally donated something. And then you can also, like, if you don't want to like be so confrontational.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

What do you think?

[D]

I like this.

[B]

This is pretty good.

[D]

I think it's great.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah, I think it's great.

[C]

Are you signing off on the last iteration of the plan? What are you going with?

[D]

Borrowing the. Borrowing the hats for the kids.

[A]

Hopefully he lends them.

[D]

I don't know if they have sentimental value, but if he said.

[B]

By the way. If he says no, that's okay, Haley. Because it's still the same thing.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

It's still the same style.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Still surrounded by.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just. It's a sex.

[D]

It doesn't matter because I can then go with. Oh, these hats are just a total turn off because I've been swimming in these newsy hats and 12 year olds are wearing.

[B]

You look like a little boy to me.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I'll tell you what he doesn't want. As a balding 36 year old man in a cool newsy hat. You look like a little boy in a musical. That's a nightmare to hear as a man to a woman you're trying to impress. You look like a little boy in a musical.

[E]

In a musical. You look like a little boy in a musical.

[B]

You look like a little boy in a musical and it's cute. And you go like this. No, I'm sexy and cool and I wear a newsy hat. And you go. You literally look.

[C]

I'm a peaky blinder.

[B]

You look like a little boy named like Jonas.

[C]

About below the fold. It's below the fold. Yeah.

[B]

Humiliating.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

All right.

[C]

What do you think, Haley?

[B]

Yeah, this is great. Can you do us a favor? Can you take a photo of the wall of hats? We need to see those. And then could you take a photo or a video of the play so we can see at least like 10 seconds of the newsy play. We can block off the kids faces, maybe a photo so we don't have to figure out how to do that with video because we will put a little black line over the kids faces. But to see the hats of it and then I can. If you can do that. Is that possible or no?

[D]

I don't know if I can take photos of the. I think I could definitely take photos of maybe their costumes.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Lined up and ready to go. As opposed to anything involving.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Children.

[B]

Actually, if someone took a photo of my kids for a podcast, that would be fighting words. You're right. But the. The costumes, I think that's a great idea.

[C]

Yep.

[E]

But Haley, I think for an extra. I'm just saying for an extra bonus, it would be really cool to see what a pol. A camo polo looks like. I don't know if that you guys want to see that.

[B]

I do.

[E]

I just can't picture it.

[B]

Eric.

[E]

I'm just throwing that in there.

[B]

Camo cargo shorts.

[E]

Eric. He does.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. This is how much I know about my husband's wardrobe.

[B]

Yeah. And he wears them with Tie. Dye shirts a lot. And the. And the newsy hats.

[E]

Yep. And some slides. Birkenstocks.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Dude.

[E]

That's my man.

[A]

That's my guy.

[B]

Hey, Jazz, we got that in. That's my man, too.

[E]

That's my little baby.

[B]

That's the guy right there.

[E]

The guy.

[B]

So, Haley, what do you think?

[D]

I think this is great. And if it doesn't work, I'll just, you know, become enlightened like Jess, and I'll let go of it and accept. I love your view of me.

[C]

Hot sauce.

[B]

Yeah. I would say, honestly, if it doesn't work, call back. We'll have just back on again. Yeah, let's. Let's end at enlightened, because the truth is, you might all. You're a month deep. You might also go like, Ryan did another thing that sucks.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then we're gonna say, you know, you go fishing every once in a while.

[C]

You.

[B]

You know, you pull some fish in, they're good. Every once in a while, you gotta throw them back. Back.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Not every fish belongs on the.

[A]

Well, yes.

[D]

And the play is not for another two months, so it's a bit of a long game. But I could start talking about the play and talk about the costume, set it up like, oh, that reminds me of the costume that the kids are wearing.

[B]

Haley, this is it. We might not even have to use the hats. Every time he wears it. You just go, oh, my God, it's so. You laugh. And he goes, what's so funny? And you go like this. I'm just. We're doing newsies at the play.

[C]

I'm dating a newsy, and I feel

[B]

like I'm now on a date with one of the 12 year old boys.

[C]

It's the evening edition alone.

[B]

He'll go like, oh, this isn't a newsy hat. It's more like a cab driver from the 40s hat. And you go, yeah, I mean, it does. Literally where I was looking, those exact hats for costumes. And he'll go, if you start wearing gloves with the cut off fingers, I gotta go.

[C]

If you sell me a paper, I'm out of here.

[B]

Yeah. And so he just starts knowing these cool hats are associated with the newsies.

[C]

Give him the news, give him a quarter and ask him to bite it.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Is that a thing from the newsies?

[C]

I think so.

[B]

They're like, oh, to see if the silver's real.

[C]

Yeah, that's real, isn't it? Yeah.

[B]

Because cheap silver will bend.

[C]

But yeah, it.

[E]

You can even nickname him. Nickname.

[B]

Every time I get a Nickel.

[C]

Nice try.

[B]

Every time I get changed or something, they go 37.

[C]

Yeah. Okay, we're good.

[B]

I've tried biting an ATM card.

[C]

Jake Dentist is like the right side, all silver, biting fillings.

[B]

But Haley, I think this, this works. Are you genuinely happy with the solution and are you going to try it?

[A]

It?

[D]

I'm genuinely happy with the solution. I am going to try it.

[B]

And so what are you specifically. And then we're going to get out of here. But tell us what you're going to do because the plays in two months. You've only been dating for a month. You've got things coming up, art shows with friends that you are a little embarrassed coming up this weekend. So how do we start this right away?

[D]

I think we started right away where when I'm at his place this weekend looking at his hat wall, I pick one off the wall and I say, hey, this is. We're doing this production. This reminds me of what the. What the students are wearing. And so I just start planting the seed that this is to me, costumey.

[B]

And don't be afraid. Don't be afraid to laugh a little too.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, oh, my God, I feel bad doing that.

[C]

But you find it. You find it. But you're right. Start throwing some seeds out there. It's the right way. Long game.

[D]

Great. Thanks so much.

[C]

All right, Haley, thank you. Go get them.

[E]

Thanks, Haley.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Bye.

[D]

Good luck.

[B]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com. and if you want to watch video episodes of We Are Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] hereto help pod to see our entire catalog.

[C]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grim Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike, animations by Andrew Strecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do stand up on the road, go. Go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[E]

That was a Headgum Podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown.

[B]

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that was Us now on Headgum.

[C]

Each episode we're gonna go into a

[E]

deep dive from our show. This is us. That's right.

[C]

We're gonna go episode by episode.

[E]

We're also gonna pepper in epis, guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[B]

Are we going to cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we going to laugh a lot?

[C]

A whole lot.

[B]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.