287: Mr. BMOC & Double Coverage (with Casey Wilson)

Summary

We're Here to Help — Episode 287: "Mr. BMOC & Double Coverage"

Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Guest: Casey Wilson
Date: May 6, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode features actors/hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds, joined by comedic actor and podcaster Casey Wilson, as they answer two listener questions: one about finding the perfect show name for a beloved horse, and another regarding an ongoing family tension about public breastfeeding. True to the irreverent, improv-heavy style of the show, the trio riffs, debates, and role-plays their way through each dilemma—striving for advice that’s both helpful and hilarious.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. The "I Adopted a Chimp" Hat Saga

[00:54 – 08:40]

• Listener Voicemail: Lakota shares experiences wearing the show's charity hat, which says "I Adopted a Chimp with Jake and Gareth." The hat attracts lots of public attention and odd conversations.
• Jake & Gareth Reflect: Both hosts relate; Jake acknowledges it gets the same reactions “from strangers at a mall,” prompting the need for a succinct, fun explanation for wearers.
• Role-Play Solutions: The hosts improvise various responses hat owners can use—ranging from sincere (“It’s a charity from a podcast, we're saving chimps”) to intentionally bizarre (claiming partial custody, showing chimp photos, or muttering “chimp dads” and walking away).
  • Memorable exchange:
    • Jake: "How about this? Yeah, but they didn't even put my name on the hat."
    • Gareth: "That's good. And then the turn. Yeah, yeah, they didn't even put my name on the hat. Knuckleheads." [07:19]
• Final Takeaway: “Make it interesting and fun for you and make it weird for them that they don’t want to follow up.” Listeners are encouraged to share their own post-hat-interaction stories.
• Notable Moment: Plan to share social media photos of chimps wearing the hats.

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2. Call #1: Taylor Needs a New Show Name for Her Horse

[14:39 – 41:12]

Introduction & Background

• Caller: Taylor, professional horse trainer from Georgia, age 30.
• Horse: “Big Red,” a retired racehorse, heading to a national championship. Taylor wants a unique, memorable show name (not “Big Red”) for his jumbotron debut.

Exploring the Horse's Personality

• Taylor describes Big Red as:

  • The “high school jock”/“big man on campus”—well-liked, alpha but kind, wins popularity contests among horses.
  • Top of the social hierarchy in the pasture, “elder statesman” and “gentleman,” but not a jerk.
  • Physically impressive and emotionally supportive; a crowd favorite at shows.

• Notable Quote:

  • Taylor: "Out in the pasture, he is number one... he gets exactly what he wants, but he's not a jerk about it." [24:10]

Name Brainstorming

• Rejected Fun Ideas: “Big Sexy” (too racy for juniors/parents), “Perm” (can’t alter horse’s look), “Ear Candy” (requires explanation), “Mr. Pin Back” (references ear gestures), “Big Daddy Red.”
• Casey’s Contribution: Suggests names inspired by Southern football lingo and sibling dynamics (she and Gareth once played siblings in a TV pilot).
• Funny Tangents:
  • Styling debate: Could the horse have a perm, sunglasses, gold chain, or “pimp” persona? Dressage rules prohibit flamboyant apparel.
  • Casey’s anecdote: Her dad once got a perm to look like Andrew Jackson on a $20 bill.
    • Casey: “He brought a $20 bill into the barber, and he said he liked the way Andrew Jackson looked... so he said, ‘Jackson me.’” [25:34]

The Winning Name(s)

• Front-Runners:

  • “Cadillac" (cool but not unique)
  • “Mr. BMOC” (Big Man On Campus)
  • “Big Man on Campus” (as-is, without “Mr.”)

• Why BMOC?

  • It encapsulates his confident, admired, leader-of-the-pack status and plays well over the loudspeakers.
  • Casey: “BMOC is an American idiom... representing the dominant male student and popular kid since the 1930s.” [36:49]
  • Jake: “That’s an alpha dog, right? He’s not some punk when he puts his... when his ears get pinned back. They all listen.” [36:20]

• Mock Announcer Trials:

  • Taylor and Gareth role-played announcing, settling on “Taylor [Lastname] riding Big Man on Campus.”

Outcome & Closing

• Taylor is thrilled: “I think that’s cool... it feels like a horse name.” [39:05]
• Listeners are promised follow-ups and photos when “Big Man on Campus” hits the ring.
• Memorable Exit:
  • Gareth: “Tell Big Man on Campus hi.” [43:38]

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3. Call #2: Bailey's Breastfeeding Conundrum (“Double Coverage”)

[49:40 – 83:06]

Situation Setup

• Caller: Bailey ("not real name"), 20s, North Texas
• Scenario: Her sister-in-law breastfeeds at family gatherings by removing her shirt and bra, exposing both breasts, without warning or covering up—leading to discomfort for Bailey's boyfriend, dad, and others.

The Panel's Response

• Casey and Hosts Seek Clarity:
  • Distinguishing between discreet, one-breast-at-a-time nursing and full toplessness.
  • Confirmed: “Two titties, both.” [51:21]
• Notable Quote:
  • Jake: “Titties are out.” [51:20]
  • Bailey: “No cover at all.” [51:36]

Advice Brainstorm & Comic Set-pieces

• Joking but revealing address of discomfort and taboos:

  • Jake and Gareth propose increasingly outrageous ideas for “solving” the problem:
    • Gifting a nursing cover (risks shaming the mom).
    • Going through Bailey’s brother/husband (third party) to gently raise the topic.
    • Casey points out the thin line between helpful suggestion and judgment.
    • Jake jokingly suggests having Bailey’s boyfriend use a fake boner ("dildo-in-sweatpants") in response to the toplessness, to force the issue through reverse discomfort.
      • Jake: “Every time those tits come out, so does the dick.” [61:46]
      • Gareth: “He won’t get to three boners.” [62:18]

• Panel’s Ethical Debate:

  • Weighing a mother's right to breastfeed openly against family awkwardness and boundaries.
  • Advice veers from “do nothing, let her be” (Casey) to “fight weird with weird” (Jake’s fake boner).
  • Notable insight:
    • Casey: “Sometimes the advice is to do nothing, and that’s actually the hardest thing for people to hear.” [60:05]

Trying Out the Advice (Role Play)

• Bailey role-plays explaining the fake boner plan to her boyfriend—everyone acknowledges the plan’s high risk for family disruption.
• Jake: “I don’t think you do the dildo thing. I think you gotta leave it alone. ...This could create a real crack in the family dynamic.” [81:17]

Resolution

• The group, especially after role-play and Casey/Natalie’s audience perspective, leans hard toward: Don’t intervene; just look away or quietly move to another room.
• If compelled to act, a gifted nursing cover or gentle heads-up should be done only with extreme sensitivity.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On "I Adopted a Chimp" Hat:

  • Jake: “We need to give [wearers] an answer... What’s like a clean line anybody wearing this hat could say?” [04:02]
  • Gareth: “I think what we’re saying... Make it interesting and fun for you and make it weird for them.” [07:31]

• On Horse Name:

  • Casey (on Southernism): “BMOC is an American idiom... since the 1930s.” [36:49]
  • Jake: “He’s not some punk when... his ears get pinned back. They all listen.” [36:20]

• On Breastfeeding Dilemma:

  • Casey: “Is there any... Are you close with her aside from this?” [56:36]
  • Jake (fake boner pitch): “Every time those tits come out, so does the dick.” [61:46]
  • Casey: “Sometimes the advice is to do nothing.” [60:05]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• I Adopted a Chimp Hat Story: 00:54 – 08:40
• Taylor’s Horse Naming Call: 14:39 – 41:12
  • Horse’s Traits & Story: 21:05 – 25:00
  • Name Brainstorming & Role-play: 31:04 – 39:41
• Bailey’s Breastfeeding Dilemma: 49:40 – 83:06
  • Situation Recap & Discomfort: 54:01 – 57:15
  • Fake Boner Pitch / Role-play: 58:22 – 81:17
  • Resolution / “Let it Go” Advice: 81:17 – 83:06

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Episode Tone & Style

The tone is highly comedic, loose, and improvisational. Jake and Gareth’s banter borders on the absurd but always circles back to genuine attempts at empathy and problem-solving. Casey Wilson brings both comedic timing and practical advice, balancing the hosts’ more over-the-top ideas with grounded, real-world suggestions. The style is unfiltered, warm, and often self-aware about the silliness of their own advice and personas.

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Summary Takeaways

• For show “inside jokes” (like the chimp hat): Embrace the weird. Make up confident, funny stories; enjoy the social experiment.
• For landmark decisions (like horse show names): Gather character insight, involve those close, and look for a name that stands out and reflects personality. “Big Man on Campus” (BMOC) was the creative, consensus pick.
• For tricky social etiquette/family dynamics: Sometimes, direct action risks doing more harm than good. Accepting discomfort and letting minor grievances go is often healthiest—though this show is happy to brainstorm risky, comedic alternatives.

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This summary captures the laughter, unpredictability, and surprising thoughtfulness that defines the spirit of “We’re Here to Help.”

Transcript

[A]

This is a Headgum podcast. This is a Headgum podcast. And we are back. We just had a banger of a day, didn't we, Gareth?

[B]

It just never stops, really.

[A]

Never stops. We had Casey Wilson on today. I don't know if she's gonna be on this intro or she's gonna already air, because now our intros are sometimes different times than the main. But I love her. She's incredible.

[B]

She is the best. I really the best.

[A]

And then something happened this morning that I heard that I. I wanted to get your thoughts of. Mostly we. You know, I'll see. I'll get these voice notes, and Natalie and I, or Jesse and I will. One of us will send it in, and then we'll put it to the end of an episode. But this one I would like you to hear, and then we can start trying to respond to it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. So then, Jesse, whenever you're ready, sir.

[C]

Hello, this is Lakota. Big, big fan of you guys. I've been listening since the very beginning. And I. The proud owner of a chimp hat slash co chimp parent with you all. And I just needed to share that every single time I leave my house wearing this hat, at least one person stops to talk to me about it. And it's ranged from someone being very concerned that I actually did have a chimp at home to a woman who decided to give me unsolicited advice and information about chimps at some research facility that were being tested on and thought she was bonding with me about chimp research when I had to tell her that it was actually a sanctuary situation to save chimps from that exact fate. So, yeah, I just wanted to let you guys know that it's been a real adventure since getting this hat about three weeks ago. So thank you so much for that. And I'm not sure if I'm the only one that this is happening to or if anybody else out there who has one of these hats gets to talk to a wide array of characters every time they leave their house and is wearing it. So thanks again. Okay, bye. Love you guys.

[A]

So I gotta say, to start, Gareth, because I wear my. We had two made. I adopted one with Jake Johnson. Then we go, you know what? We forgot Gareth so that we made the others. I adopted chimp with Jake and Gareth, and that is the one that I wear. I get so many goddamn comments on that hat. I am totally with her. Where they'll go, what? And I'll go, what? And they'll go, strangers at a mall. Your hat says you Adopted a chimp. And I'll go, yeah. And they'll go, a chimpanzee. And I go, yeah, it's for a podcast. It's a charity thing. And they'll go, a chimp, A chimp. And I, I realized we are asking a question for these hats and for those buying and being part of this. This charity. We need to give him an answer. Gareth.

[B]

Well, I was also going to say that it's different for you because your name's on the hat. So it's a little if. If you are wearing the hat and you have no name association.

[A]

That's why.

[B]

Weirder.

[A]

But that's why without the Johnson, it's Jake and Gareth. It's like, yeah, that's why I brought. It's. Well, just. You just see a hat that says, I adopted a chimp with Jake and Gareth. And she's right. People go, huh? What does that mean? Like, you shouldn't. I've also seen that hbo. And you shouldn't have a chimpanzee in this neighborhood.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so let's think of a very clean line. Obviously, there's an easy one, and that is. It's a. It's at a sanctuary in Kentucky where the hats are to raise money. So I am a 1-500th or whatever the number would be. We haven't had that many hats sold, but with the Wheel of Fortune money, too, whatever that would be. So we don't want to do all that. But what's like a clean line? Anybody wearing this hat, if somebody asks, what could they say here?

[B]

I mean, they could say it's a charity from a podcast. We're saving chimps.

[A]

Yeah. Charity from a podcast. What about just, we're saving chimps? Or what about, yes, I adopted a chimp. He's currently living in Kentucky with his.

[B]

I kind of. I kind of like that. I. I got a chimp. Yeah, I kind of like that. I kind of like making it a little bit funnier versus.

[A]

Yes, me too.

[B]

Easy.

[A]

How about this? You adopted a Jake. A chimp with Jake and Gareth. Yeah. He lives in Kentucky with some other chimps. And you just. It's confidence.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who's Jake and Gareth? These dads or other chimps? Well, you didn't adopt the chimps with other chimps.

[B]

No, that's true. Okay, so.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah. So I. I like that. So I'll be the person.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What's your hat? You would. You adopted chimp with Jake and Gareth?

[A]

Yeah, I adopted three chimps.

[B]

What do you mean you have them

[A]

yeah, they're staying in Kentucky with a bunch of other chimps. That's where they live. Huh huh?

[B]

Are you hung my.

[A]

Huh huh?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Too aggressive.

[B]

I like it.

[A]

Let me give it to you.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's a. Interesting hat. I adopted a chimp with Jake. You've adopted a chimp?

[B]

Bunch of them. They're in Kentucky getting better.

[A]

Ooh, getting better. Or you know what? A bunch of them there in Kentucky living large, eating.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Bananas. Playing on swings.

[D]

Oh, wait.

[B]

Okay, okay, I got. I got an aggressive one.

[A]

All right.

[B]

This is just so you can say no to it.

[A]

All right, let me go to you. So I see you. That's a unique hat, young man. You adopted a chimp with Jake and Gareth.

[B]

What a bunch of them. They're living in Kentucky. Better than you.

[A]

Unnecessary.

[B]

You're right. I just wanted us to know that what we didn't want.

[A]

But I think we're close.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I love. I'd ask me.

[B]

Yeah. Adopted a chimp with Jake and Gareth. What does that mean?

[A]

Yeah, I've got a chimpanzee, but it's getting raised in Kentucky. I don't get to see it that often.

[B]

I like a somber one, like, you lost custody.

[A]

Yeah, I did, but. And Jake and Gareth are the bad guys.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

They're the dad. Yeah, I did. Yeah. They're in Kentucky with their dad's Jake and Garrett. They didn't even put my name on the hat. Oh, how about this? Yeah, but they didn't even put my name on the hat.

[B]

That's good. And then the turn. Yeah, yeah, they didn't even put my name on the hat. Knuckleheads.

[A]

Then you go like this. Chimp dads and walk away.

[B]

Yeah, I like that.

[A]

Chimp dads, they're all.

[B]

I think what we're saying, since it can't be succinct, make it interesting and fun for you and make it weird

[A]

for them that they don't want to follow up.

[B]

And if this happens, how about a recording post game and you tell us how it went? This is fact finding.

[A]

Oh, you know, we could also do. We'll post on social media the. And they already did the rescue. Did photos of the chimps with the hat. Because they have the hats in the sanctuary now. So the chimps are playing with them going this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You want to see photos? Did you show them a couple photos of the chips with a hat? And then you go like this. Really nice to meet you.

[B]

Yeah, I like that. Have it in your save photos. Screenshot it in your Save photos.

[A]

And then in the end, they go like, you walk away and they go, I don't get what happened. Yeah, I guess she. I guess that nice gal adopted a chimp. Two guys named Jake and Gareth, and her name's down on the hat. And the chimps are in Kentucky, but she's got photos.

[B]

I'm going to also recommend the Napoleon Dynamite exit, which is you run off.

[A]

I don't want to hear that.

[B]

Something. There's options.

[A]

I think we. I think we have solved another problem.

[B]

Another problem that emerged from Chimps Enjoy the show. Without further ado. Hey, everybody. We just want to remind you, if you want to watch new episodes of We're Here to Help. It drops a day early on Hulu, so you can watch the new episode a day early. And we're also dropping a bunch of older episodes from season one and season two, so get involved.

[A]

This episode of the podcast is brought to you by booking.com booking.com helps you get it ridiculously right, so you can find exactly what you're booking for. G man. You're on the road constantly. The hotel you're in. Did the show book it or did you book it using booking.com?

[B]

you know what I've been doing, Jake, is I have to switch hotels so often that I've started asking the clubs if they'll just give me a buyout and then I'll find a hotel that's in between the places. I'll go to booking.com I'll find a place that is kind of equidistant and I get a couple nights in the same hotel. They couldn't make it easier.

[A]

Booking.com offers a wide array of hotels and vacation rentals from across the US you can find exactly what you're booking for. There's something for everyone, even those who are impossible to please. I would say of this trio, no, I'm impossible to please.

[B]

Is that right? Yeah, I think Steven's also like that. But that's what booking.com does. Now, Steve, if people where would be somewhere you would go on a vacation where you would use booking.com. oh, when I'm. Whenever I'm traveling to Point Pleasant, West Virginia to go to the Mothman Festival, I would always use booking.com.

[A]

find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com booking. Yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Butcher Box. I have used Butcherbox. Have you guys too? Because I actually had. Yes, absolutely. I love it. I love it. And I've really. So Butcherbox sends you food.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Well, every, I, I keep building different websites because it's so easy with Squarespace, but I, I've been working with Squarespace for a while. Could not be more user friendly. They make it very easy and your website looks great. And we've built multiple websites on this show because it's so easy. They really, they help you find the domain, they help you get.

[A]

By the way, here to help. Pod.com is our show website that is constantly evolving. And one thing I want to say, and that's a Squarespace. Guys, check out the website because it's starting to evolve a little bit. So we've Gotten emails from people being like, where do I find the blank in the blank? Well, go to heretohelppod.com which is a Squarespace website to get all the answers you need. Squarespace gives you everything you need. It's got cutting edge design. It's got. You can put donations on there. Fun. Directly on your website if you want.

[B]

You can put content on there. There's also is the SEO tools, which for a while I just kept saying it and I didn't know what it was, but I don't know what it is. I'm gonna tell you. It's search engine optimization. So it's like if someone's looking for what you provide, they help you get higher in the search, which can be huge.

[A]

That's cool.

[B]

I think optimization is good.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Wow. Coming in at the end.

[A]

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[B]

Jake Johnson, SEO Tools. Talk about being left behind in the search. That would be Gilbyu, Canada. An island by himself. Things are still going good. I've been talking into a microphone, but it's actually a shoe. I'm still in the closet waiting for someone to come find me.

[A]

But actually, Gil, it looks like your microphone is not plugged in, brother.

[D]

Sorry.

[B]

So sorry. I didn't understand how that was. Anyway, Squarespace SL Gill sent me. We're back.

[A]

Save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain using Gil sent me.

[B]

We're back, baby. Hello, caller. What's your name, please?

[D]

My name's Taylor.

[B]

Hi, Taylor. Where are you calling from, Taylor?

[E]

I'm from Georgia. Not from Georgia. I'm calling from Georgia.

[B]

Okay, interesting. Roughly how old are we looking at here, Taylor?

[E]

Freshly 30.

[A]

Okay, Taylor, Georgia, 30. What? Oh, you are here with the great Casey Wilson.

[F]

Hello.

[A]

Casey and I have known each other for 20 years now.

[F]

Yeah, long time.

[A]

And then Casey, what is your backstory with you and Grand? Cause when you and I were talking at work, we're shooting a movie together, she goes, I love Gareth.

[B]

Gareth, brother, sister and a pilot.

[F]

Powerful, powerful pilot together. That didn't go forward. But I think I love you so much. I think you're just so hilarious.

[B]

I love you. And I will say I don't get to be in a lot of pilots. Casey works all the time for someone like me to be on set with the great Casey Wilson. Was. And I'm playing her brother.

[A]

That's cool.

[F]

No, that was a really good night. Just played your brother Jake. So Maybe. I thought we were a great brother sister team, Gareth.

[B]

I thought so too. I was very. That. What's that look, Jake?

[A]

She put it on you, not me. We just played brother sister too. She didn't think we were.

[B]

She knows. She knows I need the win more, Jake.

[F]

It really just says something about me, though. It's like they're. I'm never romantically. They're like, yeah, you'll be someone's sister,

[B]

but sister to dirt bags, by the way.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't want to be a romantic lead to one of us in a.

[F]

A real.

[A]

Can you imagine downgrade.

[B]

Can you imagine Georgia having to do a meet cute with either me or Jake? That's. That's acting.

[A]

That's. That's bad for the career kind of thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Georgia, what's going on? What can we help you with today?

[B]

Taylor from Georgia.

[A]

Taylor From Georgia, you're 30.

[B]

Georgia from Taylor.

[A]

Go ahead.

[E]

So I'm a pro professional horse trainer and I need help coming up with my horse's show name. So he is a retired show, retired raider race horse and his race name is Big Red Rider and we call him Big Red. I send him pictures. I don't know if you guys got to see them or not, but he is big and he is red and we are heading to a national championship in October. And I don't know if you guys know anything about horse shows, but Taylor,

[A]

we're seeing that horse right now.

[B]

Keep in mind, Jake has no idea what he's talking about.

[A]

That's not trained for horse racing. What's not a joke? Yeah, with the Tom Cruise movie.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I've galloped on horses in England, Garrett and Africa.

[B]

The rank that just got pulled.

[F]

Yeah, always bringing that up.

[A]

I had to train in the desert on one of these for four months.

[E]

Did you really?

[A]

Yeah, I did. It's very scary. It's very hard stuff. But you're a professional horse trainer.

[E]

Yes, sir.

[A]

So what kind of stuff do you do? What kind of training? You doing tricks? You doing like the stand on the horse kind of thing or you're just getting them to jump?

[E]

I do jumping and I mostly go back to dressage now. Where you make them dance. I'm pretty sure it's like Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart did like a little segment on that.

[A]

Yeah, for sure.

[F]

Come dance. I love that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Stuff is nuts.

[E]

Yeah, it's super fun. I like it.

[B]

Clippy, cloppy.

[E]

Yeah, just like that. So at these horse shows, when we enter the arena, they're going to say My name. And then they're going to say, riding Big Red, rider. And I have one chance to rename this horse and put it on the big jumbo screens and for them to announce that. So I am completely stuck on what to name him. My husband wants me to name him Big Sexy. I can't do that.

[A]

Can you, Taylor? Can you not do that because it's not appropriate for the thing or just it makes you uncomfortable?

[E]

I can't do it because it's. I mean, I could do it, but I've got students going with me. I'm trying to get more people to come with me.

[A]

Okay. So it's got a traditionally sound.

[B]

It's a great pitch, though.

[A]

Yeah, agreed.

[F]

And I'm so sorry if I missed this, Taylor, but you can't call him just Big Red because you want a different name. Or

[E]

Big Red is like the. The buddy of dogs or the Bella of dogs.

[F]

Okay. We all got a million big reds.

[A]

Big guy, slim, shorty or short guy length

[E]

rider that doesn't have to stay the name. So, like, my other horse's name, his race name was like Scaramanga, but his bar name is Chewy and his show name is Make It Sweet.

[A]

Hold on, Taylor, you're giving us a lot of info. I'm just.

[B]

A lot is coming at us. Yeah, no, it's great, but there's a lot.

[A]

What do you mean by bar name?

[D]

Sorry.

[E]

Okay, so bar name, as in like. So Big Red. I call him Red. But his. If you go to a stall, it says Big Red on it. So like he's known in the barn.

[F]

I thought you meant bar.

[A]

Me too.

[F]

Sorry, I thought that was like his casual name. Like off hours when he's hanging.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I think at the bar.

[E]

It is a casual name.

[F]

Okay, so it's kind of like actors. Like, you can have your stage name and your.

[E]

Yeah, that's kind of it.

[A]

But. So let me just clear this up for a second. So you're a horse trainer. He's always been Big Red, but you feel like it's obvious because he's big and he's red. So everyone's going to call him Big Red. You are transitioning where you're doing more dancing with this son of a. Now. And it's going to be on the jumbotron.

[B]

So this.

[A]

This is setting up who this guy is, and it's going to set up his. If he's a wrestler. This is a coming out party for the new Big Red.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

And for the artist formerly known as foreigners barely.

[A]

But now it's. And it's essentially. If it was a movie thing, it's. And introducing.

[B]

Boom.

[A]

And then everybody knows. And he does a little weird dance, and everybody loves him, and then people aren't. And then his. Would this also change his barn name?

[E]

No, because he's turning 20 this year, so I can't change it.

[F]

He knows you can't teach an old horse trainer new names.

[A]

So he will always be Red at the barn. We're just coming up with something that. When he goes out dancing.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

Something to make a splash. We need to make a splash.

[A]

So let's do this really fast, Taylor, because it's not about you anymore. In my opinion, it's about Red. Can you tell us a little bit about this son of a. Which is personal, because we. What I know from my. My time on horses, and this is a real thing, those sons of. Are different. Some of them didn't like me. Some of them knew when I was scared. Some of them with me, where you'd be like, I'm doing all the same stuff. And I'd be. I'd realize, this horse is a prick. Then I got on one, and I was like, man, Ryan, he was like a Cadillac. Sweet boy. And I could do everything on that horse because the horse was like, I know you're bad at this. I got your back.

[E]

Yeah. You're not wrong. That's 100% correct on everything.

[A]

So who's Red? Who's our buddy?

[E]

Okay, so, Red, honestly, whenever he's ever been described, he's kind of like the high school jock. Everybody loves him, everybody adores him. And when he goes to horse shows, he's won the horse of the show before, where people have voted for him and he has won a title where he's won a plaque and a big ribbon saying that everyone voted for this horse that he's won. They all love them.

[A]

And what. What do they vote. What do you win? Is. Is it best body? Is it best personality? Big old dick? Like, what is that?

[B]

What is he winning? The question is. Is. Is. Is he winning big? Best penis, Taylor.

[A]

That's one.

[F]

No, he's not. Question, Taylor.

[B]

Okay, Taylor, answer the question, because it might help the name if he has a great penis.

[A]

But, like, what. What. I mean, what do you. What do you vote for?

[E]

Not that. So, like, the best ride. The best.

[A]

That's cool.

[E]

The best ride. Yeah.

[D]

So people love riding them.

[F]

The one thing I want to just point out is, like, back in the studio system days of Hollywood, they Didn't ask, like, what their talents are. They just picked the best name they could, you know?

[A]

That's true.

[F]

They're just given a name.

[A]

Just like, I don't want type thing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But I also think if we go specific. So there's two pitches. Yeah. We can go down any road. And I'm open to the great Hollywood name here, but I kind of feel like that's Big Red, but right now we got. He's. He's a jock. He's essentially like the high school cool guy, and everybody loves him, but he's a great ride. So I'm maybe something like a Cadillac or Oldsmobile, A Cutlass, Old mobile cut.

[F]

The Sierra.

[A]

Cutlass, Sierra. But yeah, give us a little bit more about this guy.

[E]

Okay. So out in the pasture, he is number one. So out. So in the pasture, he goes out with other horses, and he is top dog, where if he pins his. So horses communicate with their ears. So when they pin their ears back, that means other horses usually move away. And when he pins his ears back, all he has to do is step a foot forward and all the horses make a wave and he'll walk through them.

[F]

Elder statesman kind of as well.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, elder statesman school.

[E]

Yeah. He gets exactly what he wants, and he's. But he's not a jerk about it, if that makes sense.

[A]

He's a little bit like the Godfather.

[F]

He's a gentleman. Yeah.

[E]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. All at the same time.

[A]

Now, let me ask you a question, and this I don't mean to make you sad.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

How old do we expect a horse at his size to live?

[E]

Typically, if nothing goes wrong in a perfect world, they can live between, like, 30s and 40s.

[A]

Okay, so he's not old. He's.

[F]

Oh, wow.

[B]

He's halfway. Yeah, he. He's halfway there.

[A]

Mid life.

[F]

I thought this was like a sunset

[A]

ride, but no, this is midlife crisis, changing who he is.

[F]

Midlife crisis.

[A]

You know, he's right at the point, making a big change.

[F]

He's having an affair, but kind of. It's emotional.

[A]

Getting a Miata sports car.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, put.

[A]

Put an earring on his left ear, Gary. Sorry. Give him a perm.

[B]

Nothing wrong.

[A]

Wait, Casey, your dad got a perm?

[F]

He did, after my mom died. It was like a version of a midlife crisis. He got a perm. Tight barrel.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[A]

How old was he?

[F]

He was, like, 60, and then.

[D]

No.

[F]

I have a photo of it. I'll send you. He sent it to me when the rollers were already in and he was under, like, a lamp, because you know why he got it? No, I'm not kidding. He looked at a picture of a 20 bill, and he said to himself, the way I would look at, like, a, you know, clipping of Jennifer Aniston and be like, oh, that hair would look good on me, and bring it to my stylist. He brought a $20 bill into the barber, and he said he liked the way Andrew Jackson looked, and he felt they had a similar look. And so he said, jackson me.

[A]

That's.

[F]

And he has long, flowing hair like Andrew Jackson.

[A]

He said, give me the Andrew Jackson. And they said, let's just permit out.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Anyway, that's what happened to me.

[A]

Had a perm for about a year and a half.

[B]

No. I looked at money, and I was

[A]

like, I want the money.

[B]

I was like, yeah, I want to. Give me the money. I want the founding father.

[A]

So I've got a question about Big Red for a second here, Taylor.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Just because as we come up with this name, can we change his hair? And I say that I just saw an Instagram clip where they gave a horse bangs.

[B]

You know, like, oh, my God.

[A]

They just think I took some Sears and cut it, and within 30 seconds, it was hilarious.

[E]

My best friend did it to her horse, and I gave her on it. It didn't grow back for another year, but clip ons.

[B]

Wait, wait.

[A]

But, like, we could also permit a little bit. We could curl.

[E]

Yes, I can do this. Whenever I braid it for horse shows, it comes out all per.

[D]

Like.

[E]

Like perm. Like, I can send you guys pictures of that.

[A]

There's a world where we can kink the hair a little bit and create a. And put, like, a different, you know, a little vest on this big guy.

[B]

Dude, we're in a really good spot here. Taylor. I don't want to give commentary while we're in the pocket here, but if we can give this horse a little perm, I mean, there's a chance we're in a really good zone. Okay.

[F]

We're looking at something big.

[A]

Yeah, I feel the same way.

[B]

Big things are happening. Middle part can go itself. We're talking about horse perms.

[A]

That's exactly right.

[E]

Okay. If we can figure out how to give him a permanent perm.

[F]

But you have to commit to doing this every time he's in public. This is, like, his look.

[D]

I'm out there.

[E]

I'm out there. The only thing for horror shows is that whenever we go into the arena, we have to have braids in. But then whenever we're done with the show. The braids come out.

[F]

That works.

[A]

Oh, that changes it. So in the show. So he would just have. It would have to make his perm then be his barn name. Because you're talking about Showtime. He's in braids.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't need him at the bar. And with a no, we have to move on. I want him showtime, damn it. Yeah, I think you're right, Casey.

[E]

Sorry. I don't make the rules. They do.

[A]

No, but I appreciate it. We're figuring it out.

[B]

It's a terrible rule, but.

[A]

So it's braids.

[E]

It has to be.

[F]

But they're all in braids.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. But here's my question about. Here's my question about the dance he's doing. And I just say this now because you brought up Snoop Dogg. Is it a bit of like a crep walk? Because sometimes you see those guys where you see those horses, and it's a little bit, you know.

[B]

Yeah, it is kind of cool where

[A]

you kind of get a little bit like. It's similar.

[F]

What's his signature move?

[E]

It's similar.

[A]

It is similar, isn't it?

[E]

It's very, very similar. His favorite thing. It's like a very, like, long. It's a crip lock, basically, but it's a very big floaty trot. Yeah. I'll have to get videos for you guys. I'll send them all.

[F]

And does that separate him from the other horses? Like a move you could do every time?

[E]

So every test we do. So there's tests that are already pre. They make the test out in a couple years in advance, and then they change them. I think it's every two to three years. Don't quote me on that. But you get to practice the test. But you get to pick what test you get to go in and do. So I get to pick the test that's going to show him off the most.

[A]

Here's where I'm leaning. Here's where I'm leaning. Because I loved where we were going with Perm. I'm thinking Charlie Murphy vibes. I'm thinking the kind of. You take that kinky hair, but you then put it in braids. Then I'm thinking the kind of pimp style he had in the Chappelle show at some times where you could almost have, like, a purple. Like a satiny purple little jacket on this guy.

[B]

Can we put a satiny purple jacket on your tail?

[E]

I was like, let me. So dressage is the golf of all sports. It's very Classy. Like, we can't. It's very black and white. Like, literally, like, we can't have. They're just starting to come out with letting us have navy and burgundy and country.

[B]

We can't put outfits on, and we can't give them a perm.

[F]

It's not a lot of wiggle room, guys. They're giving them prescriptive things to do. We just need a name that makes the audience go crazy. No one goes, is that who he is on the inside? Is that.

[B]

She's right.

[A]

Right?

[B]

She's right.

[F]

We just need a banger.

[A]

Yeah, you're totally. I just was. I went down the wrong path.

[D]

No.

[A]

And I want to connect it up

[F]

to a story, but we can make up the story later.

[A]

Yeah, you're not wrong.

[B]

It's true. But it's good to know. Jake, just to defend your honor. It is good to know what we can't do. So we know what we should.

[A]

So we're not changing his look. His bar name is the same. We're just coming up with a name that, when introduced, it's feel splashy. Big Sexy is really good.

[F]

Sexy is where I keep coming back.

[B]

I know, but you like Big Sexy.

[F]

But we can't do that one. But I think that's in the right area because it's funny and it tells us about his kind of.

[A]

But we also got. She's a trainer and wants students. So you got to think about parents of those students. The name can't be edgy at all, because then you go, I'm really into this classy thing. I like the old school nature of it. I don't want to see this horse looking like a pimp with a perm

[F]

doing a crip walking.

[A]

So that's not what I'm paying for.

[B]

He looks like a casino blackjack dealer by the time we're done with him.

[F]

And her husband keeps saying sexy everywhere. I don't like this.

[A]

Yes. Big Sexy's got a big old smoke in his mouth.

[B]

Yeah. Blue. We put, like, a little cocktail on his hoof.

[A]

Everybody has been.

[B]

And he goes big as he's dressaging. People are unenrolling.

[A]

God, that would have been cool.

[F]

All right.

[A]

I would die. I would die.

[B]

Horse smoking.

[A]

Yeah. What's going. And then all the lights get dim and you go like, hell, yeah. Horses go, like.

[F]

Put glasses on them where their eyes fall out, you know, because they really like their energy.

[A]

Does his little crip walk. Every female horse gets pregnant.

[B]

The Inseminator.

[A]

The Inseminator.

[F]

That would be a Good one, Gareth.

[B]

All right, I got a pitch on a name.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

I mean, honestly, I've. I've taken up a lot of space here with names that we've gone through. Cadillac.

[A]

Cadillac's cool.

[B]

I've enjoyed.

[E]

You like Cadillac.

[B]

My first pitch outside of Cadillac is ear candy.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

Because the ears turn. He's kind of the eye candy. He's ear candy.

[E]

I was like, where did ear candy. I was just confused on where the ear came from, but that makes sense because the ears.

[B]

Well, Taylor, you got to give me a second to explain it, okay? We can't put magicians vests on it, so just give it a second.

[F]

I could not love you more. I just don't know if we want ones we have to explain only because we just have one second. And I love these ideas, though, Casey.

[B]

This. This is the process. I need this.

[A]

I don't think it's ear candy, because my thing is, then I'm thinking the food with the ears. But I love where you started with ears. What about something like pinned back?

[B]

I like that, because you were saying,

[A]

when the ears are pinned back, the other horses know you mean business. So like mister pinned back.

[B]

I like a mister, by the way.

[A]

Mr. Pin back.

[F]

I like a mister.

[B]

I like a mister.

[F]

I'm just throwing out three. Then please go mister mister. That's one. Number two is big daddy, which is a name in the south that they call like the. The. The football. What do you call it? Like the. I went. What do they call the quarterback? Yeah. Or Big Daddy Red.

[B]

I really should have. I apologize. What is it?

[F]

Well, Big Daddy Red or bmoc, which is the big man on campus. That's what that stands for.

[E]

Ooh, I kind of knew like that.

[A]

B. Big man. BMOC.

[F]

BMOC. Yeah.

[A]

Mr. BMOC. Big man.

[F]

I think people know it, but I don't know. It's a.

[A]

Definitely not even if it's Mr. BMOC. The parents with the kids are like, oh, great. Mr. BMOC is great.

[F]

Just the one.

[E]

I know.

[A]

Mr. Big man on Camp was Mr. Pin back. Ears. Mr. Candy. Candy.

[B]

And then, you know what? We're two years away from permit.

[A]

Oh. Then, yeah, he walks in the barn,

[B]

put a little cane on him.

[A]

No. Then when you take the platforms.

[B]

Platforms on him.

[A]

Miss time. I'll get you, sucker.

[B]

He's got goldfish.

[A]

I kind of love Mr. Bmoc.

[B]

I do, too.

[E]

I. I really do, too. Okay, so because you have to put it together. So I'll be like Taylor Blank riding Mr. BMOC or Taylor Blank. Rid big man on campus. And then it'll say, first place goes to Taylor Blank on Big man on campus.

[B]

It could also be Big horse on campus.

[F]

Mr. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

Is it riding BMOC or. I like it when it said riding Big man on campus or riding Mr. Big man on campus that does that.

[A]

I like Mr. Big. So, okay, I like Taylor Blank riding Mr. Big man on campus. Yes. Say it all out, Taylor. Do this. Say your real first and last name. We will beep out the last name and try a Mr. Big man on campus. And let's have the three of us really judge it like we're at a thing, because then keep in mind a big red horse is going to come out. That is Mr. Big Man. I come. It's not a joke. That's an alpha dog, right?

[E]

No. You're not wrong.

[A]

He's not some punk when he puts his. When his ears get pinned back. They all listened.

[E]

You're not wrong.

[B]

Jake, you would be so good at halftime speeches. Just the. The level of just bluster and what you just said.

[E]

He's not wrong, though.

[A]

I know what he thinks she said.

[F]

Sorry, I'm just looking up its origin. I'm still with us. I'm just looking up what origin it comes from the 1930s.

[B]

Big man on campus.

[F]

Yeah. BMOC is an American idiom standing for Big man on campus, representing the dominant male student and popular kid since the 1930s.

[A]

This is great.

[E]

Yeah, I like it. And before. So I wrote him when I was in college and I adopted him after college. That would also. It's fitting.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right, Taylor, so let's hear your first and last name. With Mr. Big man on campus. We will beep out your last name. Let's. Let's see if this is a winner.

[E]

All right, so it's going to be. Now entering the arena is Taylor now writing Mr. Big man on Campus.

[A]

I love it, actually.

[F]

I thought it was great.

[B]

I like it too. I want to hear it more. Announcer. Yeah.

[A]

Gareth, will you do it?

[F]

Gareth, would you.

[B]

Sure, sure.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Now coming into the. Whatever you call it, Taylor writing Mr. Big man on Campus.

[A]

I think it's pretty awesome, actually.

[B]

He's Twenty dollar bills, guys.

[F]

Can I hear it one more time? So sorry. Without the mister. Just to hear it.

[B]

Sure, Gareth.

[F]

Just to hear it.

[B]

Now coming out into the thing, Taylor riding Big man on campus.

[A]

Casey, your thoughts?

[F]

I like it. I wish you'd run the name altogether a little more. And that is just. Just for my ear.

[B]

I honestly didn't think I'd be getting a performance note, but okay.

[F]

So sorry.

[B]

As your brother in this show.

[A]

Sure.

[F]

So sorry.

[B]

Garrett Taylor's writing Big man on campus.

[F]

There we go.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Jake thought.

[A]

Well, I want to. Oh. So Casey likes Taylor. What do you think?

[E]

I really like. I'm still. I'm 50. 50 on both of them, but I think. Okay. So whenever it goes on the scoreboard, it'll say just big ban on campus. So it might just be easier to read up there and then. And then on his name so he'll get a name plate, too, whenever we win things. Because I'm already anticipating doing very well. Because he's. He's a really good boy. And he'll get halters, and they'll say his big man on campus. So I think that'll be.

[A]

I think that's cool.

[B]

I think that's a. I do, too. It also kind of feels like a horse name. Like a horse name. It feels like you don't need them. Yeah.

[A]

Like him walking around with a little holster says, big man on campus. We know horses are smart. That's gonna mean something to his ass.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, well, they can't throw up.

[F]

Fun and elegant. It's like a throwback, too, but it's giving him the status that he so rightly deserves.

[A]

I agree. Taylor, let me ask you a question. You happy?

[E]

Oh, my gosh. Thrilled. I've been trying to come up with this for so long, and all the other names I came up with were quite basic, so I am.

[A]

Well, let's hear what you came up with really fast. Just to hear. Just to judge us against.

[E]

Oh, golly. Okay. It was simply ad redeeming moment. And then my friend said, do Red Taylor's version because Taylor Swift and then Northern attitude.

[A]

Poetic. They're a little more feminine, actually. They're nice.

[F]

I did like the Taylor's version. I think that's kind of fun.

[A]

Yeah, but not for him.

[F]

Not for him.

[A]

He's not listening to that. He does crip walking. He's a bad boy.

[B]

Well, he doesn't, Jake. That's just what we said he would do.

[F]

He doesn't.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like you know Red more than me. We all met him at the same time.

[B]

I know, but it feels like you've decided. Yeah.

[A]

You.

[B]

You're picturing.

[A]

Because you were a brother and sister before you and me were brother and sister. You guys are closer. Who cares? I don't think that before then.

[B]

Casey, what are you doing right now, man? You okay? You doing okay? My Guy.

[A]

No, I'm sitting on an exercise.

[B]

I thought you were bouncy sucks. Why?

[F]

It's like the three of us, I feel like we're sniping at each other because our fourth friend is the leader of us, the big man on campus. He's not here.

[B]

Thank.

[F]

I mean, like, we're like. And he's like, gonna put us right in our place in a nice way.

[A]

He just pins those ears back. We'll all shut up. That's what Natalie mostly does. So, Taylor, will you close us off with one more big announcement where you officially announce big man on campus. But before we go, when is the show? When can we expect photos of it? When can we get video of it?

[E]

Okay, so we have. The big national show is going to be September 30th through October 4th, but we have shows throughout the entire summer. So as soon as we go on the jumbotron, I will get my to get pictures and videos.

[A]

This going to. Is there going to be a look you're going to create for him?

[E]

I can make a look. He already has a red bridal. I think you guys saw that in some of the photos. But I can't use that bridal for the actual H show.

[D]

But use it to ride.

[A]

What are we thinking about his hair?

[E]

It has to be Braden Romer.

[B]

What about a perm?

[E]

Sorry. I can do the perm.

[F]

Satin.

[A]

Have you ever considered glasses and a little smoke?

[B]

What about, like, the outfit the three Stooges used to sleep in?

[D]

What about.

[A]

What about like, boots with no laces in them?

[B]

Really?

[A]

Baggy jeans?

[B]

What about army fatigues?

[F]

Baggy jeans.

[B]

Sergeant big man on campus.

[F]

Baggy jeans, though, too.

[A]

The front is just a white tank top. What about some necklaces?

[F]

Necklaces? I'd be fine.

[E]

I can make a look just for you guys if you guys want.

[B]

You do that.

[A]

Be great one in the barn, will you. Will you do us a favor? If you get inspired, will you one day just dress him up as a little gangster? Please send us some photos or at least perm his hair something.

[F]

Okay.

[E]

A gangster with perm.

[B]

Don't be afraid.

[F]

I also going to do like. I think we should be more expansive. Like, maybe there's a calendar and maybe he's also like, at the soda shop, you know, like, totally. You know, we're back in like, Norman Rock. You know, he's got the milkshake and we're.

[B]

Yeah, he's having a malt. Maybe he's talking to his favorite gal.

[A]

Did you know that we made a calendar of Steve Berg. We did a sexy model shoot of Ste Berg. We could do one of a horse, all the same poses Steve did. We recreate every boat.

[B]

Or we could do Steve and the horse doing like, themed. A themed shoot together.

[F]

Together.

[A]

Pretty.

[E]

Oh, my gosh. Can we make that happen?

[B]

Probably not.

[A]

We might. You never know. Things are getting weird.

[B]

Please

[A]

follow up with us.

[B]

Please, seriously, send us, Send us.

[F]

Keep us very much in step. Taylor.

[B]

Honestly. Yes, I like that.

[E]

I will. But thank you guys so much.

[B]

Thank you, Taylor. Tell a big man on campus. Hi.

[E]

Thanks. I will.

[D]

Bye, y'.

[E]

All.

[B]

Appreciate it.

[A]

This episode of the podcast is brought to you by booking.com booking helps you get it ridiculously right, so you can find exactly what you're booking for.

[B]

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[A]

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[A]

Hello.

[E]

Hello.

[A]

I want to do a big introduction of our guest right now. Casey Wilson is with us. Casey Wilson, you might have seen on snl, Happy Endings and so much other stuff.

[E]

Hello.

[F]

I'm so happy to be here.

[A]

Casey, what is the name of your podcast that you have now been doing as an og?

[F]

It's called Bitch Sesh.

[A]

Bitch Bitch Sesh.

[F]

It's about the housewives in Bravo and it's all comedians talking about garbage, television of all stripes.

[A]

And then you're also hosting a show, a cooking show.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

How you liking that?

[F]

What'd you say?

[A]

How you liking it? How is it?

[F]

I love it. Hosting is the greatest job in the world. People bake and I just chit chat and do some small talk, call it a day.

[B]

So good.

[F]

That's what we do on these podcasts.

[A]

That's it. And then you and me are in a movie right now. How you feeling about that experience?

[F]

I think we'll see how the scenes turn out with based on the partner that I'm working with. No, I love it. I love seeing you.

[A]

Can we get your name, please?

[D]

Hi, I'm gonna go with a fake name today. My name is Bailey.

[A]

Hey, Bailey. Where are you calling from?

[D]

Texas.

[A]

Texas. Where in Texas are you?

[D]

North. I don't want to get too specific.

[A]

So then give me this. We're going, Bailey. We're going north Texas. Tell us something about you that you can't. What if you were having a memoir? What would that memoir be called?

[D]

I did it all, comma. I just had to panic first.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Feels like you've thought about that. That was. That, that wasn't off the cuff. That's a great title.

[D]

It. I thought about it last night.

[A]

It's actually good for you. So, Bailey, I did it all. I just had to panic first. From maybe north Texas. What can we do for you today?

[D]

So I'm calling in regarding my sister in law. She joined our family a couple years ago and she has a 10 month old with my brother. But she without warning will take her shirt and bra off and breastfeed no matter who is in the room. Like we'll have family and like my boyfriend has been in the room before and like she'll just. Without any explanation or like heads up. Interesting breastfeeding.

[A]

This is going to be a controversial call.

[B]

Yeah, well, I mean we have Casey here. Thing Here, two guys. So Jake and I will start obviously and. No, go ahead, Casey, what are your thoughts?

[F]

I just have one question because I think there is a distinction. So is she. When you say shirt off, is she like bras off, but she's lifting her shirt and covering to the best of her ability, you know?

[A]

Or. Or are two titties out?

[F]

Right? Is one titty out or two?

[A]

Because if you got a baby on a titty and then you got the right one just floating about out. Yeah, that's different, actually.

[B]

That is.

[F]

I just want to know what it looks like. Exactly what it looks.

[A]

Titties are out.

[B]

Two titties, both.

[A]

Is that true?

[D]

Yes.

[F]

You know, like a muslin or anything. Like sometimes they have those things you wrap around your neck with like a blanket. Is she trying to keep something and it's falling and she's.

[A]

This is the right question.

[D]

No cover at all.

[A]

Okay, so this is crazy. So you're daily about ripping everything off, Titties flopping in the window, taking a little baby, covering half the body you're eating here, my guy, the other one, let's say the left one in this example, staring right in your boyfriend's face.

[B]

Free tit. Yeah, we got a free tip.

[A]

I mean, at your parents face.

[D]

Yes, my father is.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Sitting next to her.

[B]

Go ahead, Casey. I think you're gonna ask what.

[F]

I'm sorry, I keep asking. No pains are being taken to like the free titty, like an arm kind of covering it or like the bottles covering it or.

[A]

No, I'm just.

[F]

Again, this isn't judgment. I'm genuinely just curious.

[D]

No, but I know it's a tricky situation because I'm. She has the right to breastfeed her baby.

[F]

Appreciate you saying that.

[B]

Yes, I agree.

[D]

She is giving another human being life. I would just prefer cover.

[B]

The other wasn't out. I have an uncomfortable question that I'm afraid to ask, but I think, well,

[A]

anybody care if I masturbate my car about this after.

[B]

May I take my man tit out?

[A]

Yeah. I'm so sorry this is uncomfortable, but like. But I have to gross. If I could see photos and mess.

[B]

I have to ask. May I know exactly where you are? In Texas. I will be there on business.

[D]

Is it next Thursday?

[B]

Probably, actually. Well, why don't you.

[D]

I'm coming to your comedy show next week.

[B]

Well, listen, don't bring this. Let's see what happens. Bring. Bring your. Bring the tit, sister. What is your main issue with this, Bailey? Is it that it is distracting to your boyfriend? My question was going to be how are her breasts rests. Because I'm wondering if that is playing crazy question.

[A]

Gary.

[B]

That's what I was worried.

[A]

But by the way, you should be worried. That's a crazy question.

[F]

But I'm absolutely crazy. That's the last question we ask as kind of a ha.

[A]

That's kind of the. We have nothing else.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But to start.

[F]

And we're gonna ask what everyone's thinking.

[B]

Well, I just don't.

[F]

Sorry. That a Big Gulp has just been flown into me.

[A]

Oh my God. She drinks half Dr. Pepper, half bad Dr. Pepper. Gets one every day.

[B]

Wow.

[F]

So sorry. Please continue.

[B]

By the way, a good title for this call could be Big Gulp. So what is the issue yet?

[A]

We're about to ask.

[B]

No, no, I protracted my question, but

[A]

no, we gotta finish your question here.

[F]

I want to know who's upset. Is your going, I can't watch this? Is your boyfriend saying, this is making me really uncomfortable. Is it you that's the most uncomfortable?

[E]

Where.

[F]

What's the temperature of the rest of the family going into a chair that's like a couple seats away.

[D]

And I keep.

[F]

Sorry. Keep asking like, is there any. Is she going to a chair away or we're really like at dinner, food, you know, we're passing the roles, all of that.

[D]

So there's been multiple incidents. One was we were all watching a sports. Something on the television. It was some game and she's just sitting next to everyone. And then without warning. The main. The main issue is I know my boyfriend is uncomfortable. My dad has expressed that he's been uncomfortable. And I don't want her to have to go to the other room because I've talked to one of my friends who has twins and she said the amount of time that she spent breastfeeding in another room, she was so lonely.

[F]

I'm very sad.

[A]

I have a gift. I have a pitch, but it's a gift.

[B]

I think that I was gonna say this. Yes.

[A]

I think we gift her some version

[B]

of a titty, cover her a swaddle or something. And we say. And we say it as it looks like you're, you're. There's a lot going on. Maybe there's a way to make your life easier.

[A]

Yeah. But it's the same thing.

[F]

Like she doesn't want her life easier. She's going, hey, I'm good. That's what I'm worried about is that you shame her. I'm just, just thinking it.

[A]

But let's just think about it like this. When you park your car out in the sun, and the sun banks all the seats. And it gets so hot, you sit down. If you're wearing shorts, your upper thigh and your aspirants.

[B]

Are you gonna thread this needle right now, do you think?

[A]

Because then you get those little covers and you put it on and it blocks the sun, so. Right.

[F]

But you're grateful for that because you're supposing that you want that. No. Nobody likes the sun on their car. But she doesn't seem to have a problem.

[A]

How about this? I like a hot sun. I don't care if my ass cheeks get a little cooked. What if I'm driving somebody all the time and they buy me one? You know what I'm gonna do? Use it. Because it's easy. I'm not gonna get offended. They go like this. I got you this if you want it. What? It's just when you park your car at my place, if you're gonna drive, I don't want my butt cheeks getting burned.

[F]

Is there a way. Are you close with her aside from this?

[D]

Kind of. She lives very close to me.

[F]

But why can't you turn this over to your brother? Is there a way? Because I'm afraid if you get involved with your mom, that's gonna turn like sister in law. Is there a way your brother could hear from maybe your dad of like, just like, we want her to feel so comfortable. We never want her to feel isolated in the home. She has every right to do this, I think just for dad because he's like, you know, we put this on the older father. Like, I think just dad would love if maybe there's like some cover. But we don't agree with this. You know, you play it like that.

[A]

This is crazy. This is. It's always tough to go through somebody else. We've learned that third party plane gets really hard on this show because if he had an issue, he would have called it in. But he didn't, shouldn't he?

[F]

Can't you think a dad.

[A]

No, I mean the husband. If he thought there was an issue with her, he would be doing this already. He doesn't think there's an issue.

[B]

Does your husband know that anything. Does your husband feel that this is an issue for you, Bailey? Does he understand?

[D]

So my brother has no issue with this?

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Or your brother, right, Thinks that this

[D]

is a completely normal situation. But I will say she is. She's pregnant again.

[A]

We're so. It's gonna get.

[D]

So maybe the gift of the Wrap.

[A]

I'm gonna.

[D]

Could be. Hey, you're having another baby.

[A]

Cover him up. Bailey, can I give you a crazy pitch? Because I'm not positive the gift is going to work, especially because her husband. It might be passive aggressive and aggressive. This is going to get your boyfriend involved, too, and I'd love to. Look, I don't love what I'm saying, but I do know it'll work.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

Next time it goes down, I want him to get like a dildo in his pocket and give himself a fake boner and wear some sweatpants. No, hold on, hold on.

[B]

No, no, stop.

[F]

It would work. It's complimentary to her.

[A]

Complimentary. And she would go, oh, my God. And then he has to go like you are. Hold on, Gareth, now.

[F]

It's too many private parts out at the table.

[A]

We have to stay in his sweatpants. He's just sitting. He looks over and he goes, oh, sorry. And then all of a sudden, what I'm looking for, Bailey, is your sister, your brother. To look over and go, like, you popping a boner and my wife's tits.

[E]

And you.

[A]

And he go, excuse. Hey, I don't mean to my man, all I see is half is a baby. My eyes aren't going there. The other half, I'm a man. That's a woman. And then your dad. Boner.

[B]

The comments on this clip,

[A]

I take back, dad 100. But if your husband gets a fake boner around her, gets embarrassed, stands up with a full boner and walks out,

[B]

this is, you know what's going to happen.

[A]

She's going to cover them titties up.

[B]

There's just. It's very difficult.

[F]

This is a difficult one.

[B]

This is a very difficult one because

[F]

I think we let them be them.

[B]

I think that is going to be. That's going to be.

[A]

That's not the solution. The solution is not. We're not getting involved. The whole premise of this show is.

[F]

I know, but sometimes, like, sometimes the advice is to do nothing. And that's actually the hardest thing people to hear.

[A]

But I don't think that's accurate.

[B]

What about if Bailey takes her shirt off?

[A]

I was thinking that earlier, too, man.

[F]

Great idea.

[B]

Honestly, I'm just saying that, listen, we are looking for.

[A]

She takes her shirt off. Breastfeed. How about this? You take it off, your boyfriend sucks one of your titties.

[B]

See, we just now know that it won't be a good pitch. And that's what I think is good about the stuff we're doing.

[D]

Yeah, I will say my boyfriend Would be down for either the fake boner or sucking my.

[A]

So then, then don't do the second the tit. That's more of a joke. Do the boner 100.

[F]

What is your mom saying about all this if I may?

[D]

Her relationship with my sister in law is very complicated.

[A]

Felt that we. We know this everything away.

[F]

Or is she like I don't want to get involved or is she like

[A]

I can answer for her put those titties away. Am I wrong?

[D]

Bailey, you're not wrong. But she also doesn't want to get involved.

[A]

Nobody does. Nobody.

[B]

Nobody does.

[A]

We don't. Well, I do. Nobody wants it so that you guys don't get to see the 10 month old and you like everybody wants to keep the family together because the baby's there. So any confrontation, any verbiage of put those titties away. Not only do you lose mom, but now you're losing brother because he is going to defend her. So then how do you win the argument? Well, you don't do it face on. You said your boyfriend is a. A willing participant.

[F]

It give him the boner.

[A]

Give him a boner and then have him go be sitting there in sweatpants and push it up so everybody sees it and then everybody's uncomfortable. But you don't say anything. Every time those tits come out, so does the dick.

[B]

So this guy has to every event now until these children are grown enough to drink milk on their own.

[A]

Gareth, we ain't getting Gareth, we ain't getting more than three boners. I would willing to bet on it. I will put a steak. I will put a nice dinner at Taylor that if he does this, he never gets to a fourth boner.

[B]

Now see, this is one of those moments where I think he gets three though. We just said. We just set a boner under.

[A]

I don't know if he gets to three, it's Garrett.

[B]

He won't get to three boners.

[A]

But he might get. But he might get to two.

[B]

That's a line. I got it. I got another. Listen, I'm. I'm fine if you want to have your boyfriend walk around at a fake boner her. Here's an alt pitch that I don't think will work because I don't think she cares. Obviously. But I was going to say what you could do is. Where is this happening most? Where? Where is this? At your parents place, did you say?

[D]

Yes. So the par. My parents house is where the main.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Incident occurred in her own home. That's happened before. But she, she's in her house, coming into her house.

[B]

All right, I got nothing.

[D]

I was her tits out if she wants.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

Well, and I think anyone would say that she could do this anywhere. It's you know, like this is. We've established that, you know, this is a fine thing to do. But since you're calling the show know we're pitching ways to solve it.

[A]

Stop trying to live on both sides of the fence. Speak.

[F]

And I guess I do have to ask again.

[A]

I just want to make it very clear. A woman can do whatever she wants.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

So Gareth, what do you actually feel? Do you think it's appropriate for her to whip her tits out at her parents house?

[B]

I think there's a way to do it where it's not like you're about to hook up up like where you're just ripping your clothes off. Like there's like we were sort of saying there's a way to lift it. I mean we see it. You can pull a tit out and breastfeed. That is a.

[A]

You can do that restaurant. Goddamn it.

[B]

It's not even weird. Without question, you can do it anywhere. I will say at the airport, the lactation stations. I'm not sure what's going on in there, but I leave those be. The point is you should leave those be because.

[A]

But even saying that's crazy. I know you're not.

[B]

You don't need to tell me. I'm the guy who asked what her tits were like. Now we know.

[F]

Yeah, that's know that's what you're trying to get back to too with this.

[A]

You're also the guy who says the lactation stage. I leave those be. As if Casey and are going to be like awesome, dude. I'm just saying you do, you pervert.

[B]

I'm just saying buy her a lactation station for your parents house.

[A]

Oh, like a little phone booth, A little.

[F]

Look, I know this. This is a comedic space here. I do need to just say I think women feel very much like, look what we've gone through to bring this kid here. Now I've schlepped this K over to your parents house. Do I even want to be here? Absolutely not. Now I'm watching sports. Now I got to look at a boner on here.

[B]

My brother in law.

[F]

Like I can take my titties out however they look.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

And that's that. Like I'm dealing with postpartum depression. I can do whatever I want. And if everyone else wants to look at my titties so bad, that's on you guys.

[A]

Well then what if. Okay, I go. Look, I'm going through a bunch of stuff like.

[F]

Yeah, great.

[B]

So then the question is, why at airports do they not have cheap jack shacks?

[F]

Oh boy.

[A]

Oh boy is right, cuz we knew there was something about him bringing it up. He wants a masturbation station at airports. By the way, that's a shark tank.

[F]

It's hard, Bailey, because yes, you bail's come to us wanting advice and so we have to sort of suppose we're in Bailey's head space, which is the family.

[B]

That's what we're trying to do.

[A]

But Casey, the thing I'm getting from you after that last speech, which I actually thought was powerful. Powerful.

[F]

Thank you.

[A]

I'm not even teasing. But I do think you brought up a lot of good points. And in the end I just went to the masturbation station because I didn't know how to respond. But the truth is, what would you recommend? What is your pitch then to Bailey? Let it go.

[F]

Let it go. Okay, so Casey's as that fraudulent woman.

[A]

So Casey's pitch is. Let them tits breathe. Let it go. Mine is I would have your boyfriend do the fake boner. That is my genuine pitch. Gareth wants there to be a masturbation station at airports.

[B]

Just the hubs, just where we make connections.

[A]

And he thinks it's really cool that he doesn't go into the lactation stations and try to look at the ladies breastfeeding. I guess, I guess that's why you brought it up.

[B]

I. I haven't even checked to see if they're locked or. I don't know how it works. And I go to a lot of airports. I was in the Atlanta airport yesterday, Casey, where we. Where we shot hail.

[F]

Where we shot our show. Yeah. So you're good, Gareth. Like at Burbank, a smaller airport. You're not looking for him there?

[B]

No. Anything on the coast? No, cuz that's pro. Yeah, we're not that hubs. I'm talking about Charlotte, Atlanta, Dallas, Houston.

[A]

So if you need to transfer planes, you need a time to masturbate.

[F]

How can you have time?

[B]

I think it's good to have the option. I mean, some of these layovers now, if you go on orbits, these are two, three hours. That's right. What are we doing here?

[D]

Here?

[A]

You should be.

[F]

One more question because I. I have to go and I can't believe it, you know, but I have to ask this. Bailey, I know this is so unsatisfactory to hear, but are you. Is there A point in place in your heart where you could be like, you know what? We all just have to let it go. Or does that not feel good to you at all, having talked it out? Because we did talk it out,

[D]

I could definitely let it go. I almost think that I could just say like, like, this is totally fine. I obviously have no issue with it. Do you mind giving us a heads up so we can at least look away or if we choose, we can go to another room.

[F]

I think that's gonna be as inflammatory as giving her a cover. So I think you either say nothing, but also, do you really need a heads up? Like if she starts going like this, we gotta. We know.

[A]

Well, you run like it's a fire. I feel for you, Bailey.

[F]

I'm not trying to not help you, Bailey. I do. I'm just trying to like keep the family unit together and give her her rights.

[D]

I understand.

[F]

I know.

[A]

I still, honestly, I again, I hear what Casey's saying. I know the majority of our fan base will still be with her. I am still into the fake penis because what I really believe. I'm gonna go ahead earth.

[B]

I'm gonna, I'm gonna swing back around on another one. I think if you can frame again. I just. So we're clear. I agree with you, Casey, but if we're trying to solve it, if you gave a swaddle like sheet that was framed as, hey, this is going to be easier on your arms. It also will flag the breast.

[A]

So walk us through how that pitch

[B]

goes, G. I'd rather not because I. Watch your head, family.

[A]

Well, we've got Casey. Thank you for joining us.

[B]

Thank you, Casey. Love you, Casey.

[F]

Bye, guys. Love you, Casey.

[A]

All right, we're still with.

[B]

The boys are here.

[A]

Yeah. Casey's all about the fake dick.

[B]

Casey wrote out a piece of paper at the end, fake dick all the way. And then she signed off just.

[A]

Bailey, Gareth is pitching towards a gift of a cover, which I don't think is a bad idea. Here's what I'm really worried about it for you.

[E]

You.

[A]

I'm worried that your sister in law and your brother are sensitive and it's going to be a whole thing.

[B]

That's why I frame it as you're holding this kid, you got another on the way.

[A]

This could maybe help.

[B]

Yeah, this helps your back. This is a thing.

[A]

Bailey, back to you. What are you thinking?

[D]

I like Gareth's pitch. However, I don't want her to feel any shame or the, the that I would be shaming her for having her Tits out. So I think what I'm gonna do is the fake dick just to see what happens. Because my family is difficult. And I think if I had something that would make me laugh when we all hang out, it would make these times more enjoyable.

[B]

The level of tightrope. This entire call felt like for at the end her to be like, I don't want to make her feel bad in any way, so I'm gonna put a fake in my boyfriend's sweatpants.

[A]

It's the most flattering way to get her to stop. Well, guess what, guess what? Titties are titties.

[F]

What?

[B]

Honestly.

[A]

But there is a truth of it. Like, look, I am a. I'm in full agreement. I'm not saying this because I care what people think. Obviously with my pitches, I think people realize I don't. But I do think a woman should be able to breastfeed anywhere she wants. She's providing for her child. But also if I'm at a cafe and a woman takes her breasts out, I am excited. I'm not going like, you know what? This is nature's course. I'm going. I've been wanting to see these my whole life. In any opportunity, the biggest money maker in the world on the Internet would just be. It's once images popped up and you were like, you can see them. So I get it if you're saying, I don't care if you're some creep at an airport, I'm breastfeeding. You have that right. And I also have the right to deep down go, yes, I'm at a layover in a laugh to l the station. And so what you're doing, your brother in law is saying, sorry, but that's is awesome. And then she has a decision to make. He's not going to be glaring at her. He's going to be looking away. He'll be looking at the tv, but someone's going to notice. Does Carlton have a boner now, Bailey,

[B]

Is he going to do this?

[D]

I think he will.

[A]

Incredible.

[B]

Do we need. Look, I'm not trying to belabor this, but do we need to step in to help pitch this at all? I mean, this is a wild thing. You feel good enough to do this, Bailey?

[D]

I do.

[F]

Yeah. I don't.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Okay.

[A]

Natalie, make your piece now. Don't make it after we lose Bailey. She's on the call right now.

[F]

I'm just, I'm just trying to think of how you're going to execute this

[A]

in a way where everybody is going to like notice It's a giant. I'll tell you how you do it for. It doesn't have to be giant. We're not calling this guy King Kong. It just has to be standing up. So you can get a mid sized sedan down there and then all of a sudden they come out. It's in his underpants. He just adjusts a little bit. No one's paying attention. There's a baby breastfeeding and there's two breasts flopping about. He just takes it, puts it up, like adjusts the way men kind of do sometimes, then just sits back and keeps watching the tv. Nothing, and I mean nothing's gonna happen the first ten seconds, but maybe minute, three and a quarter. The husband's gonna look over and notice that Carlton has a bone her. She's not going to say anything. Nobody is. And maybe no one's going to realize. As soon as the baby gets put away, very casually knock that boner down. If no one noticed, great, it's over. But if he the husband or she the mother see that boner, they're going to go, oh my God. What? When I was breastfeeding, did you see Carlton got a boner her? Oh, are you kidding me? No. You know what? He's a creep. Just put a cover up on around him cuz he's the weirdo.

[B]

Oh, Bailey just gave me one of those so my back didn't hurt so much.

[A]

Natalie, you seem to hate this idea.

[B]

It's wild.

[F]

I can't wait to see what happens. I don't hate it. I'm just taking it all in.

[D]

It.

[F]

It's a big risky move.

[B]

That's what it's a big risky move. Move. It's big.

[A]

Is it too risky? But Bailey's in. Bailey is.

[B]

Listen, she's deciding. She said yes to this.

[A]

Bailey.

[D]

Yeah, I. I've got to. I've got to do it for the bit. I. I'm just so curious to see what happens.

[A]

Well, I don't want you to do it for the bit because this could go sideways.

[B]

So which is how that penis is going to be when the breasts are covered.

[A]

Yes, that's right. Well, it's gonna be flat.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I wouldn't put it sideways anyway. I'd put it going down his leg. What?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Banana going across your lap.

[B]

I just think it's gonna be easier for him to mast it up if it's anyway the point.

[D]

That's.

[A]

Yeah, that's not the point.

[B]

Not the point.

[A]

So Bailey, walk us through what you're actually going to do while Thinking the sensitivity to a new mother who's also pregnant. Because what we can't do is offend. Yep. When we can't do is create a rift in the family where all of a sudden she and he are gone. And then they go, what happened? You go, I call this stupid podcast, and they told me to put a dick out. And your dad goes, why'd you do it? And you go, don't know. Now everybody's mad at you. And then guess what? We do a follow up. We're not Maddie, but we don't matter. I'm gonna zoom in my goddamn closet on a ball. I'm sitting on a ball these days because my back hurts.

[B]

It's wild up there.

[A]

So, Bailey, back to you. What are you really going to do? Is it a good idea? If so, walk us through how you're going to do it and how we can support you.

[D]

So I'm definitely going to have the conversation with my boyfriend about this pitch about the fake dick. But if he's not down, because honestly, it's strange.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Then I think, depending on what he says, I think I'll try. If he says no, I'll try. Gareth pitch. And I'll say, hey, I'm so excited

[A]

for the new baby.

[D]

The new baby. I read in a parenting magazine

[E]

that

[D]

this cover helps support your back and your arms while you're breastfeeding. Especially now that there's going to be two. Just so that you're more comfortable and you don't have to go to a separate room.

[A]

Wait a second, Bailey. What? When there's two, there's not going to be a problem. They both gotta eat.

[B]

But not like puppies.

[A]

We had twins.

[B]

You did. Well, one at a. At this. You did both at the same time.

[A]

The wife had bomb.

[B]

The wife had bum. Okay. Tony Soprano.

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. So.

[A]

So you might have the baby and the older one, and then guess what? I'll tell you what's not a boner.

[B]

Nature solving problem.

[A]

Doing it. Getting the baby side of it ruins it.

[B]

Yeah, Bailey, nature might cover your tracks here.

[A]

I still think new baby come.

[D]

They're going to be 16 months apart. So six. Six months from now, whatever month, you

[A]

still got a lot of time. Okay, so we got. We got some time. I mean, never mind. Mind.

[B]

And then. Well, one. I mean, to be fair, as well, Jake, at one point they, you know, one of them's going to be off mic and the other one will still be using. Yeah. So there you go. I mean, we. We're. Bailey, just record the Pitch, you know, let's hear what your boyfriend thinks and.

[A]

Well, let's do this before we get

[B]

buckle up for the comments.

[A]

Let's do. Cuz it's feeling heavy. It's feel it's. And it's not feeling heavy to me. I'll be honest.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But since our visitor joined this Brady Bunch, Zoom. It's gotten a little bit more heavy. And she might be the audience though. She might be the audience.

[B]

She is.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

She is.

[A]

I get it. There's a lot of times I love a call, then everybody hates it. I get it. Yeah. So here's what I would like to try. Bailey, can you pretend Gareth is your boyfriend and walk him through the pitch? And Gareth, can you play it? Not for a bit.

[B]

It. I know.

[A]

I just want to hear how this.

[B]

I know the performance you like. I know.

[A]

Okay, so Bailey, can you do this?

[B]

You know what I want to do.

[A]

I know what you want to do. Bailey. Whenever you're ready.

[D]

Hi, babe.

[E]

How was your day?

[B]

That's long. I'm tired. How was yours?

[E]

Pretty good.

[D]

I ended up calling the podcast that I was talking to you about out.

[B]

Oh yeah. That show's supposed to be great.

[E]

Yeah, it is.

[D]

It's really great. I called about. I called about my sister in law,

[A]

Gary, if he's hot.

[B]

Yeah, One guy's on the road a lot. Gareth reynolds.com and then. No, go ahead. If you come to North Texas and family get a party bus. Go ahead, honey. I'm sorry. Go ahead. But we can see.

[A]

Say,

[D]

I called about my sister in law and they actually had some really good advice, but I wanted to ask if you'd be down for it.

[B]

For the advice?

[A]

What.

[B]

What do you mean?

[D]

So they said that maybe the next time we go over to my parents house you could have a dildo with you. And when my sister in law takes of a lot off her shirt and whips out her boobs to breastfeed. Oh, as soon as she takes off her shirt. You could adjust the dildo.

[A]

I'm hearing. Bailey, I'm hearing that you have a boner. Bailey, I'm hearing it. I understand the tone now. Hey, Bailey, this could be a problem here, bud. This sounds pretty Jake.

[B]

Jake went from I'm on the lazy it. Jake went from I'm not the lazy river to I'm doing my taxes and I'm getting screwed.

[A]

I don't. I don't. Bailey, I don't like it.

[B]

Ah, it ain't.

[A]

I think it's gonna go real weird. And then what's that if the dick thing falls, let's do. And they're like, why does he have a dildo in his pants around our child? Those are fighting words.

[B]

So what is the. What are we leaving her with Piggly and Mo? Buddy, I swear to God, I thought about it.

[A]

So, Bailey, I gotta tell you, in hearing it now, I'm just being honest. Guys in a bar, I don't think you do the dildo thing. I think you gotta leave it alone. I think it's. I think this is. I seen Casey and Natalie's response. I think it's, you know, Max Greenfield night. A new girl used to have a joke called the friendship end her and that somebody could say something that's so bad that it's an instant friendship ender. And I think this could be a friendship ender. I think this could create a real crack in the family dynamic. I think you just gotta look away when the titties come out. And if you want, then as a family, you guys could all very casually go into another space.

[B]

I think. I think we are at the point. Point where, look, if you want to do that for you, do it. But, you know, it's. It's like we said. I mean, it. It. This is an Accept.

[A]

It is, yes.

[B]

What you don't like is the way she's doing it and that both are out, but yes, this is kind of one of those. This is rare where we're like, this

[A]

is a problem time.

[B]

Well, and I think the advice here is don't take the advice. Just don't walk away from the titties, walk away from the pitches, because you're probably the juice ain't worth the squeeze. You know, this is just, you know, it'll. Whatever the issue is, you know, these kids will get older and it'll end. And like Jake said, you're going to have a brief period of time where you're going to have double coverage. All right, Bailey, I'll see you soon.

[D]

Okay, sounds good. Thanks.

[B]

Bye.

[D]

Bye.

[A]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com. and if you want to watch video episodes, episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] heretohelp pod to see our entire catalog.

[B]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike. Animations by Andrew Strecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth dust up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only. And all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[F]

That was a Headgum podcast. That was a Headgum podcast.

[B]

Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown.

[A]

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that Was Us now on Headgum.

[B]

Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show.

[E]

This is Us.

[B]

That's right. We're going to go episode by episod.

[F]

We're also gonna pepper in episodes with

[B]

different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[A]

Yeah. Are we gonna cry?

[B]

Yes, a little bit.

[A]

Are we gonna laugh a lot?

[B]

A whole lot.

[A]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was Us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.