288: Pineapple Suspicion & Squatters Rights

Summary

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We're Here to Help – Episode 288: Pineapple Suspicion & Squatters Rights

Podcast by Headgum | Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Guest: Steve Berg | Callers: Julie, Curtis, Whitney
Release Date: May 11, 2026

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Episode Overview

This lively, advice-driven episode cycles through the signature blend of irreverent banter and genuine attempts to help listeners with real-life conundrums. Jake Johnson (“New Girl”) and Gareth Reynolds (“The Dollop”) are joined in the opening by actor Steve Berg for an unexpectedly graphic mushroom-foraging story, before diving into three caller dilemmas: a daughter seeking to discover if her parents are swingers (“Pineapple Suspicion”), a janitor dealing with a bathroom squatter (“Squatters Rights”), and a powerful ongoing update from “Popcorn Queen” Whitney, who shares her journey to find a kidney donor for her husband and plans to establish a kidney transplant support foundation.

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Segment 1: Steve Berg’s Mushroom Foraging & Tick Tale

[00:35–07:57]

Key Points & Memorable Moments

• Steve Berg recounts a harrowing experience mushroom hunting in the Midwest. After his outdoor adventure, he discovers a tick burrowed into his “junk”—sparking both alarm and panel-wide laughter.
  • Steve details the full-body tick-check ritual: "You got to. Bro, you Spread your cheeks open to see if. Because, like, they like to hide in crevices." (03:14, Steve)
  • "A tick climbed into your dick. You're done climbing the dirt." (07:00, Jake)
• Jake and Gareth advise him to give up mushroom foraging:
  • "Guess what? You're on television. Go to a restaurant and get those truffles." (06:30, Jake)
• Shared personal animal-related misadventures on the farm.

Tone: Playful, a bit gross, mock-solicitous

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Segment 2: Caller #1 – Julie’s “Pineapple Suspicion” (Are My Parents Swingers?)

[12:31–36:30]

Main Theme

Julie, a 24-year-old from Ohio, wants to figure out—without directly asking—if her newly-retired parents are swingers, based on clues like an abundance of pineapple decor, cruises (notorious in some circles for swingers), and finding condoms in her parents’ bedroom.

Key Discussion Points

• The Clues:
  • Pineapple motif throughout Mom’s decor; mom’s recent weight loss with Ozempic; parents frequently cruise and travel; mom's new ankle tattoo (palm tree/"beach" themed); box of condoms present even though mom’s post-menopausal.
• The Analysis:
  • Gareth connects pineapple as a known “swinger” code on cruises ("they put a pineapple upside down on their door and that's how they go. Hey, yeah, they've co opted the pineapple, these swingers." 13:51, Gareth)
  • Jake and Gareth interrogate Julie on her parents’ personalities and habits: private, previously prudish mom; more gregarious dad.
  • The team explores possible innocent explanations for the condoms, discarding each as implausible, prompting Gareth to joke:
    • “No man has ever said, 'Let's get latex involved.'” (21:46, Gareth)
    • “Why would they buy a box of condoms, not just one, but a box?” (22:50, Jake)
  • Julie considers plausible deniability but admits the evidence is mounting.
• Advice On How to Handle:
  • The hosts script a scenario for Julie to “test the waters” by referencing a hypothetical friend's open marriage and observing her parents’ response.
  • “You're just going to have a fact-finding reaction when you see what one of them or both of them look like.” (27:46, Gareth)

Notable Quotes

• “Maybe we should have sex but have it feel worse for both of us.” (21:45, Jake)
• “I think they're swingers. But what do you think?” (24:43, Jake)

Audience Participation

Jake and Gareth encourage listeners to “drop a pineapple” in comments if they think Julie’s parents are swingers, setting up a community poll ([36:06]).

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Segment 3: Caller #2 – Curtis’ “Squatters Rights” (The Bathroom Problem)

[42:02–54:46]

Main Theme

Curtis, a janitor from near Hamilton, Ontario, seeks a diplomatic way to encourage a factory worker who habitually occupies the bathroom for 30–40 minutes, making it impossible for him to do his job on schedule.

Key Discussion Points

• Curtis’ Constraints:
  • Works for an external company, enjoys solo weekend shifts, wants a non-confrontational solution.
• Hosts’ Pitches:
  • Small talk strategy: Jake: "When he's in there, you go like this. It's, 'Hey, bud, where you from?'" ([44:23])
  • Classical music tactic: Gareth: "You could maybe put on some orchestra or wrap-up music." ([47:20])
  • Light sensor trick: Jake: "Walk in, hit the lights, walk out."
  • Stall neighbor discomfort: Gareth: "If you go in, sit in the stall next to him... most people's thinking is—I've got to get out of here."
  • Playing the podcast out loud: Advises Curtis to play this very discussion in the bathroom as “meta” encouragement.
    • “If you’re in a stall and you’re at work and you take long 40 minute dumps...our pal's a janitor and he's got to clean up after and wait for your 40 minute dump.” (50:38, Jake)
• Humorous Reprimand for Squatters:
  • “You’re the customer who walks in at 9:50 and stays as long as you want. We close at 10.” (51:03, Gareth)
  • “Could you imagine a dog taking a 40 minute dump? You know what you’d do? You’d call an emergency vet.” (51:42, Jake)
• Resolution:
  • Curtis decides to play the show’s “move it along” segment in the bathroom as an indirect nudge.

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Segment 4: Caller #3 – Whitney, the Popcorn Queen: Kidney Donor Search Update

[55:00–70:48]

Main Theme

A dramatic update from Whitney (the "Popcorn Queen"), chronicling the amazing response from the “We’re Here to Help” community in her ongoing quest for a kidney donor for her husband, and her new mission to establish a transplant support fund.

Key Progress Updates

• Popcorn Quirk Recap:
  • Husband’s medical issues led to a popcorn obsession post-brain surgery, which the show previously workshopped.
• Kidney Donor Outreach:
  • Ten listeners stepped forward as potential donors; five are mid-hospital vetting, one (Win from Birmingham) already close and now a friend.
• The “Transplant Recovery Fund” Idea:
  • Whitney discovered many transplant candidates can’t accept organs due to inability to afford recovery; she aims to found a fund to support these costs.
  • “If I have 10 people that are willing from a podcast about popcorn and problems to get a kidney, there's no way that this other stuff can't happen. So... it's going to be a transplant recovery fund.” (59:11, Whitney)
• Calls to Action:
  • Seeking listener expertise—anyone who can help organize a 501c3/charity or who can donate should reach out.
  • Email is given live on air.
• Broader Community Impact:
  • Hosts promise fundraising efforts, possibly a live benefit show or telethon.
  • Whitney has resources for other would-be donors, including past donors willing to speak firsthand.

Notable Quotes

• “You are making a difference. He has two young kids who want to play with him. Giving him the chance at life again is huge.” (66:12, Whitney)
• “Anybody who donates to anybody we want on the show.” (68:20, Jake)
• “This takes it from something that is lighthearted and fun to actually making a huge impact.” (68:39, Whitney)

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Memorable Moments & Episode Quotes

• Comedy Amidst Sincerity: Hosts frequently balance heartfelt moments with irreverent humor—reminding listeners, "just to be clear, the integrity and the strength and the change is coming from you. And we just happen to be near somebody doing great stuff." (66:18, Jake)
• Host Tag-Team: Gareth: “It's important for Jake to point that out...” (67:12)

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Timestamps: Key Segments

• Steve Berg tick story: [00:35–07:57]
• Julie’s swinger suspicion: [12:31–36:30]
• Curtis the janitor’s squatter issue: [42:02–54:46]
• Whitney/kidney update: [55:00–70:48]

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The Show’s Advice Style

Throughout, the hosts exemplify their “friendly local bartender” tone: advice is offered with warmth, seasoned with absurdity, and grounded by their guest or audience’s own insight. The tone is irreverent but supportive, holding humor and empathy in creative tension.

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Final Community Engagement

• Listeners are prompted to chime in ("drop a pineapple" if you agree Julie’s parents are swingers).
• Open calls for help with Whitney’s transplant fund—any listener can get involved, even if not a medical match.
• Those interested in being future callers or audience contributors are urged to reach out at [e-mail].

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For more:

• Find video versions of the podcast and archives at heretohelpod.com (built on Squarespace)
• Whitney’s email (spelled out live) and further details are to be posted via the show for anyone interested in contributing to the kidney project.

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[End of Summary]

Transcript

[Whitney]

This is a Headgum podcast. This is a Headgum podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we are back.

[Jake Johnson]

Guess what I'm drinking out of Gareth?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cymbal. Oh, cheeky monkey.

[Jake Johnson]

Cheeky monkey. And guess what else? Eve Johnson's moving to la.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's official.

[Jake Johnson]

She's coming out I think in about two and a half weeks.

[Steve Berg]

Hey sweethearts, how you doing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Uh oh studios.

[Steve Berg]

I'm here. I'm right in time.

[Jake Johnson]

We're literally talking moms. And he pops up and I'm assuming now this was your surprise, Gary, because if he just hears mom and join

[Gareth Reynolds]

Zooms is just like the milk Beetlejuice.

[Jake Johnson]

Not even milf, just moms. It's not about fucking with Berg, it's about talking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, that's very true.

[Jake Johnson]

I love mothers. I'd like to have brunch with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's into mills. I'd love to brunch.

[Steve Berg]

This is so true.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth. What's going on with you, King?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I actually Jake, I did invite Bergon for a specific reason because I was. We were talking on Patreon and he and Eric have talked about this in an intro, but I did think. I haven't listened to it. I haven't heard the story, but I did think there was something juicy enough.

[Steve Berg]

Jake will like it. Jacob, like this one.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm dying. So Stevie, you got a story?

[Steve Berg]

Well, Jake, every April in the Midwest there is a glorious seven day period where morel mushrooms pop up in the. In the tree lines.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He starts talking, it's like a camera. Pans down slowly, then it's working because

[Steve Berg]

that's exactly what I'm picturing. So anyways, I was out at this beautiful property by the Platte river foraging for wonderful. Morales had a great.

[Jake Johnson]

Like a little pig.

[Steve Berg]

Like a little pig.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, they send pigs out to fudge and then you dig them out. Did a farmer send you out?

[Steve Berg]

Correction, they sent pigs and me. Literally I was on all fours and

[Jake Johnson]

boy did I brother buddy, of course didn't fuss into Steve Berg story.

[Steve Berg]

Oh, I'll get a good feeding time

[Jake Johnson]

for this fussiness to Jake and Garrett story.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, it is, it is. When you're, you know, in the forest, you know, being an outdoorsman myself, you always come home and you do a thorough tick check. That means you're looking at full body mirror. I did, I took my shirt off and I did see a tick crawl like from my back to my shoulder.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm like steve, Steve, do you do the full like, do you do cheeks mirror?

[Steve Berg]

You got to. What is bro? You got to tell him you Spread your cheeks open to see if. Because, like, they like to hide in crevices.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, dude, like Jake. At the end of a successful day of mushrooming, Steve lays down his tick mirror spreads and checks.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, I'll call you guys on speakerphone next time I do it. So, Jake, I. I assume my tick check is through. I go about my day. Well, later that night at about, you know, you get a little older. Yeah. You pee at three in the morning or something like that. So I get.

[Jake Johnson]

Every night, brother.

[Steve Berg]

Right. You know what I mean? I get to pee. You know, I have to turn the lights on in my bathroom, otherwise I just pee all over the place. And that's not. That's no good.

[Jake Johnson]

Crazy.

[Steve Berg]

I know, right? Maybe I need to work on my aim. It's not amazing.

[Jake Johnson]

Or just remember where the toilet is.

[Steve Berg]

It's hard because I'm in the hypnagogic state, you know, And I'm between waking and sleeping. I'm not all there. So I turn the lights on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's lucky.

[Steve Berg]

I looked at my junk. There is a tick halfway brought into my job, into my. Into my bathroom area.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Steve Berg]

And it's on the not.

[Jake Johnson]

How did it get there? You're not blessed.

[Steve Berg]

Brutal, brother. I am. That is not blessed at all. I mean, it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He thought his penis was

[Steve Berg]

very blessed. I'm very blessed.

[Jake Johnson]

That's like a tick burn into a piece of rice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's like a tick on a tick.

[Steve Berg]

I love that he referred to it.

[Jake Johnson]

I thought it was mating.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He just said, you're not blessed.

[Jake Johnson]

It's the first comment.

[Steve Berg]

He is.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm looking around. What do I do? And then he goes like this. Oh, it's another ticket.

[Steve Berg]

Okay, I want to hear, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Two ticks. It's like a clock.

[Steve Berg]

I look down there, and there is one burrowed into my deal.

[Jake Johnson]

And I. Oh, my God.

[Steve Berg]

Freak the out. I. I immediately, like. I know you're supposed. There's like a protocol for removing it.

[Jake Johnson]

What is it?

[Steve Berg]

It's out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Burn it off.

[Steve Berg]

I wasn't gonna go. I wasn't gonna go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just wanted to burn it off because that gets its little thing to release.

[Jake Johnson]

Get that goddamn supposedly there.

[Steve Berg]

But I ain't waiting around to put fire. So, dude, I just ripped that thing out with my fingernails. Freak out, lay in bed the rest of night. And I kind of convinced myself, like, well, since it burned into my. My junk, I'm gonna have to get like. Honestly, like, there was a part of me. It's like I probably am going to get call, go to the doctor tomorrow and they're going to tell me that they have to cut my dick off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what happened, Steve?

[Steve Berg]

It's crazy. Well, hon, then honestly, like, you know, like, you have to. I did. I did not call my doctor until a few days later, but he was like, well, it's not really anything to worry about until it turns into a bullseye looking bite. Then you got limes.

[Jake Johnson]

Is such a nightmare, brother.

[Steve Berg]

I was like, really? Like, I was like, man, I really can't have Lyme disease right now. That's like, right?

[Jake Johnson]

Gonna.

[Steve Berg]

Really?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, like, look, Stevie's having a moment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know.

[Steve Berg]

I am young ghosts, but I. Yeah, so. But it turns out, guys, I have passed the safety window. I'm okay. There's no limes. And maybe I'll never go more hunting again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I think.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I would say quit crawling around the dirt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, I mean, what are you doing? Ain't worth it.

[Jake Johnson]

Guess what? You're on television. Go to a restaurant and get those truffles. You can't. You can.

[Steve Berg]

You can't get morels.

[Jake Johnson]

You can't. By the way, the reason they're picking them is to sell them. Yeah, yeah. It's just so you can.

[Steve Berg]

But boy, the amount I got. Oh, my freeze are all prepared. My freezer. I'm going to make it into a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? What? A swan song.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, it.

[Steve Berg]

It's probably one to go out on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What a way to go.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Stevie, you're right. No more digging around the dirt, my brother.

[Steve Berg]

Fair enough.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fair enough.

[Steve Berg]

I. I will. I can't promise anything.

[Jake Johnson]

A tick climbed into your dick. You're done climbing the dirt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Someone sent you a message. No more dirt play.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, there's a. There's a moment in life where we make adjustments, right?

[Steve Berg]

Okay, fair enough. I like adjustments.

[Jake Johnson]

Where like. Well, why you go. What were you doing? Well, me and a bunch of pigs were climbing around the dirt looking for mushrooms, I think. What happened? Cuz I'll tell you, pigs get that all the time. I told you when I had a worm crawl into my foot when I cleaned a pig.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And this is one of my favorite stories.

[Steve Berg]

Yeah, it's horrifying. Your Costa Rica thing is incredible.

[Jake Johnson]

Crazy. Well, you know what the problem was? I was messing around with a pig. Shouldn't get on top of those guys and clean them. Yeah, you. You act like a pig, you're going to get. You. You know, you ask stupid questions, you get stupid answers. You act like a pig, you get pig problems.

[Steve Berg]

I got pig problems right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Problems.

[Jake Johnson]

Guys, everybody enjoy the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think the morale of the story is don't go looking for mushrooms anymore. Thank you.

[Steve Berg]

Thank you,

[Jake Johnson]

everybody. Check out our show on Hulu. It drops a day early and there's also back catalog episodes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right. So we're here to help. Is now on Hulu a day early. If you want to listen to the back catalog, we're dropping those from season one and season two. It's just. Join us. Let's go.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello, can we get your name please?

[Julie]

Yeah, my name is Julie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi Julie. Where are you calling from, Julie?

[Julie]

I am from Ohio.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Julie, how old are you? I don't mind asking.

[Julie]

24.

[Gareth Reynolds]

24. And what are you? What Are you doing, Julie? School job. What's up?

[Julie]

Working. Working in finance.

[Jake Johnson]

You know, it's a weird thing, Gareth, a woman born in 2002 is working finance. How does that make you feel?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not old and failed, by the way.

[Jake Johnson]

2002 and having a job and fine. Being born in 2002 means you should be. Just be getting out of diapers. Julie, what's going on?

[Julie]

Yeah, well, I have a question. I am trying to find out if my parents are swingers without directly asking them.

[Jake Johnson]

I love this question. Can you give us all the information you got? Take over, Julie. Take your times.

[Julie]

Yeah, so my parents, they have recently retired in the last couple years and they've been going on a lot of cruises, which, I mean, that's kind of a, I don't know, a common thing, I guess. On cruises.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that.

[Julie]

It's a. They have a high swinger community.

[Jake Johnson]

I didn't know that about cruises.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

Really, you just go like room to room.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a whole, like they put a pineapple upside down on their door and that's how they go. Hey, yeah, they've co opted the pineapple, these swingers.

[Julie]

Yeah. So with pineapples, as a note, she has a lot of pineapples. They're not, say, upside down, but she just has a lot of them in her house. And then no. And then a couple years ago at Christmas time, my sister called me into their room and there were condoms on my dad's nightstand. And my mom has gone through menopause, so there's not really any reason that he would need those.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake, you know what this is right now? This is like. This is like. This is like someone saying, well, I found weed rolling papers and lighters. Do you think my son's smoking pot?

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Julie]

Yeah, I mean, they just like, aren't. It would just almost shock me. But like, I don't, I don't know. My husband, he is convinced that they are. I, I don't. I don't know if they are not with all these things. I'm like, I don't know, but I just want to know because if they aren't, then I'm gonna tell my husband I told him. So. But that's why I'm just trying to understand. I don't understand. Want to directly ask them? Yeah, I don't want to directly ask them. They'll be like, hey, like, you know, I'm not going to do that, but I don't know a way to.

[Jake Johnson]

Why don't we do this, Julie? Why don't you Give mom. And why don't you explain who dad is, who mom is. Give us a little taste of who these characters were before you were born and who they're at while you were growing up and who they are now. Let's get a sense of mom and dad before we start passing judgment.

[Julie]

So before. My mom's pretty. I don't know the best way to put it. She's pretty. Like, she doesn't talk about anything to do with. Like, she would never talk about any of this with me. Like, she would never want to talk about sex or any boys, anything.

[Jake Johnson]

She was never, like, private woman. Okay.

[Julie]

Pri. Yes, very private.

[Jake Johnson]

Is she, like, a little prude?

[Julie]

Yes. Yes. A little prude. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

This is leading in your direction. Does she swear?

[Julie]

She didn't until I was, like, in high school. Like, she never would.

[Whitney]

She would.

[Julie]

She would not let us say. Oh, my God. She would have to say, okay, yell at us and say, oh, my gosh.

[Jake Johnson]

Religious people.

[Julie]

No, I mean, like. I mean, they say they, you know, they are, but they, you know. Yeah, they aren't. Yeah, they're not really.

[Jake Johnson]

Another quick question. Another quick question about. Mom started to be doing detective work here. Did she recent. Did she recently, in the last few years, have a health change, a health scare, or get in much better shape?

[Julie]

No, she got on Ozempic, but.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so that's what I'm talking about. When. When did she get on Ozempic?

[Julie]

Probably about six to eight months ago. Last summer maybe.

[Jake Johnson]

And how many lbs did she drop?

[Julie]

I don't know. Probably. Look, I don't know. Maybe about 30, 40.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so this was exactly what I was talking about. And when do you think the Pineapples and the Swinging started?

[Julie]

Well, the Pineapples have been. Since. For the past. Well, I would say probably like six or seven years. Okay, but we started.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, Gareth, we don't know. It's the Pineapples ever. If she said six to eight months ago, it was obvious. But what were the clues? When did they start? When did you start thinking, what's going on here? Are they swinging? Okay, so more than six months ago.

[Julie]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Okay. Any other things about your mom we're missing? And don't tell us in 20 minutes. Don't tell us in 20 minutes. Think about it. Is there anything else about your mom in the last couple of years? Does she dye her hair a lot more. Does she. Does she. Is she in a much better mood?

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's been whistling.

[Whitney]

No.

[Julie]

Once they retire, they're. They're traveling like crazy. I Mean they're not. I mean, not just cruises, they're just traveling. Like for the past since they retired. They're just going off, going crazy.

[Jake Johnson]

So. Gareth. And just be having fun. Brother Jake.

[Sponsor Voice]

I love you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The pineapples for the

[Julie]

condoms.

[Jake Johnson]

The condom is really hard to get around.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, you can and there is no hate. We are simply. We're simply trying to find our way through this. In my medical opinion.

[Jake Johnson]

Take the sperm.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's impossible.

[Jake Johnson]

You get stuck in there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In my medical opinion.

[Jake Johnson]

Please.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Your parents are swingers, but we're not

[Jake Johnson]

ready to say that yet. So can you tell us about dad just the way you did mom?

[Julie]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

He's more.

[Julie]

He's very loud. Just in general, he's had the loud voice. He is a little more gruff. He still is. He isn't. He is. He'll swear he's not as prude or anything. He's very sailors. He's a manly guy.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. Chest hair, mustache.

[Julie]

No, neither. He did in the past. Like couple. Like a couple years. Probably three or four years ago he started getting up, growing a mullet. So my mom loved. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, this is becoming pretty obvious. Did he get a tattoo in the last few years?

[Julie]

No, my mom. My mom did. She did. But. But my dad has not.

[Jake Johnson]

So in the last few years. Your mother got a tattoo. What? You're right. Please, come on. We're dealing with a 24 year kid. She was born in 2002. Let's take our time. Okay, so what tattoo did your mother get?

[Gareth Reynolds]

An upside down pipe.

[Steve Berg]

Right.

[Jake Johnson]

Right above her butt. She got. She got a swing set and it said, I'm a swinger. She got a palm tree.

[Julie]

Palm tree.

[Jake Johnson]

And where did she get that?

[Julie]

On her ankle.

[Jake Johnson]

I wonder why she got a palm tree. Julie, why do you think she did?

[Julie]

So she likes the beach.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pineapples.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, that makes sense. But could it be a pineapple tree?

[Julie]

I don't think so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think so.

[Julie]

Yeah. It has a wave with it at the bottom. It's like a little.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, he says she wants to sip like a pineapple pina colada or like a pineapple smoothie on the beach.

[Whitney]

Oh, so she doesn't drink.

[Julie]

She doesn't drink. My dad does. I mean, there's no reason that she doesn't. She just. Okay, she said that she's gotten drunk once in her life and she doesn't want to do any. She doesn't like it. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So she's searching for vices.

[Jake Johnson]

She's searching for fun in her retirement. This is the last chat this is a big chapter of her life. So I've got a question for you, Julie. So we got a sense of mom and dad. By the way, I'm happy that your parents are together and happy they seem to be living this part of life. Great. Which is lucky for you at 24, happy parents are a great thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, definitely.

[Jake Johnson]

But just a question for you here, bud. Your mom went through menopause. Why would they have a condom in the bedroom?

[Julie]

I don't know. I don't know. My sister, my. Well, my sister, she. She saw them and then had to share that with me so that I also had the wisdom of that. So I don't know. They were just. There was a whole box. It wasn't a huge box, but it was a medium size box.

[Jake Johnson]

I'll tell you one of the. But, but let's talk this out. They've been together forever. If they're not swingers, they don't have any diseases, any sexually transmitted diseases because it's only been each other and they can't get pregnant. So do you think they're like, maybe we should have sex but have it feel worse for both of us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No man has ever said, let's get latex involved.

[Jake Johnson]

No woman has ever said, you know what? I would inside my body. Besides your body, latex. In between us, a layer. Why don't we do this? Let's make this worse. Significantly, for no reason.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For longevity is just to remove little things like this.

[Jake Johnson]

Part of the beauty of retirement is you go, want to go on the beach? And guess what? We don't need a piece of latex wrapped around my penis like sausage casing. Terrible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It really is, by the way.

[Jake Johnson]

Kills the moment where you put it on. You're like, that snap thing doesn't feel great. But now I guess it's on that. I'll tell you, nobody in the world has gone, like, that's hot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's nice. Let's pinch that little weird tip on it.

[Jake Johnson]

Is that about the thing or something else?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, the.

[Julie]

That.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you got to put it on. Then you pinch the tank. The. It's like Tupperware. You gotta like pinch the tip of it so that it, it, it cinches a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Julie, we're asking you, why the condoms? Not just one, but a box. Why would they buy a box of

[Gareth Reynolds]

condoms out, not like deep in the closet.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, recent out. So why would they possibly have condoms, in your opinion?

[Whitney]

I don't know.

[Julie]

The only. What? I don't know. The only way I would ever Think of it is, but like you said, it's not enjoyable. I don't know why.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What was you were thinking as a fetish?

[Jake Johnson]

Like, this could be fun. Like, let's make this worse. After 30 years, let's make this worse.

[Julie]

Well, I was like, well, maybe they just. I don't know. Is there like any. No, they're like, go ahead, Joy.

[Jake Johnson]

Let her finish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead, Julie. But the answer is no.

[Jake Johnson]

No, the answer is no, but finish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead. Finish. No, go ahead. No, but go ahead. What?

[Julie]

There's no way. There's no way it would.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But go ahead.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, but here's. Here's why it's. There's no way. I mean, maybe. Maybe we're wrong, so let's talk it out. We're not, but I don't see any way.

[Julie]

There are so many reasons.

[Jake Johnson]

Such as, go ahead, Natalie.

[Julie]

People don't like mess they don't want to clean up. It's easier to contain. There could have been an infidelity. One of them has an STD and they reconciled. And everything you're saying is condoms. Okay, I'm gone now. But those are just some reasons.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's good that we had someone point out those possibilities. The Pineapples is a massive, massive tell here for me.

[Julie]

Well, her whole house is also beach themed. I mean, it's like blue and she has like, like, like blue and the whatever sand color. I mean, like a couple of rooms are beach themed. So that's what I was thinking. But then

[Jake Johnson]

I got a question. I got a question. Because what we're not going to do, what you don't want to do, and correct me if I'm wrong, is put them in a spot where it doesn't sound like you and your mom have the kind of relationship where we want to push this, ask this, set up a questionnaire type game so that your mom answers. Set up a world where you're like, you're considering with your husband. Does she have an opinion? Are you judgmental on it? So from what I gather from you, you're not looking for any pitches like that. You're more kind of going, is there a way to find out without finding out? And that is my opinion. It's more. We could take a vote on this in the comment section or people emailing in and leaving voice notes and get how many people? If it's 80, 20, maybe it's time you start accepting that they're swinging. If it's 50, 50, because to me, I think the thing is going to be 95. 5. I think they're swingers. But what do you think? Is that satisfying to you, or do you want us to pitch on something to try to find more proof?

[Whitney]

I don't know.

[Julie]

I mean, I really. There's a lot of. I guess there's a lot of proof, but then at the same time, it just would blow my mind if they were. But maybe I just need to. I don't know if I just need to accept it or not. I don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think. I think to what Jake's saying, you know, look, it's. It seems very likely now if you are. If you want a sense of proof. I know. You just completely put a dagger in it, Jake. Yeah, but I do think if you went to your dad or your mom, just one on one, and said to them, you know, I've been married to my husband for whatever, a couple years, and it's great and all that stuff. I guess the only thing I struggle with sometimes is I go, how are we going to be able to do this forever?

[Sponsor Voice]

Is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is there a key to anything you guys have done since you've been retired in the last. Like, how do you see yourself going through the marathon?

[Jake Johnson]

You know, you could also do with that, Gareth. You could talk to one of them and go, like, I have a question to ask you guys. One of my good friends, her husband, is bringing up this idea of swinging, and we've all been talking about it. Do you guys think that's a killer for a relationship? I'm not. I don't know. But what are your guys's opinions? If they both go, we don't say anything wrong with it, then you don't have to push. But if one of them goes, like, that's a really bad idea, then you

[Gareth Reynolds]

could know, I think that's good. I also think you're gonna be a. I. What? I. The reason why I think something like this is you're going to be able to see the look on their face. And, yeah, the look is either going to be what? Or the look is going to be, oh, God, she saw the condoms and she knows what pineapples stand for.

[Jake Johnson]

That's exactly right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So.

[Jake Johnson]

But I think. But what do you think of that? Because I think we're kind of close.

[Julie]

Yeah. Yeah, I think that'd be good. Just kind of like nonchalant, like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Julie]

What do you think? You know? I don't know. Yeah, kind of.

[Whitney]

What do you think of.

[Julie]

I've heard people are doing this, or someone was talking about it and, well,

[Gareth Reynolds]

what you could say, you could do something like this. You could say something along the lines of like, oh my, you make up a friend. You know, I think my friend Denise might be getting a divorce because she said to her husband, you know, she wants to open it up and be polyamorous, like a swinger, but the husband didn't go for it. You know, something like just see what they.

[Jake Johnson]

Right, so you're talking about a fictional third person.

[Julie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And that's an opportunity for your parents, if they're swinging, to go. We don't see anything wrong with it. I mean, if, if it's not for you, don't do it. But if it is for you, it could be great for a relationship. And then if they go like, every couple is different. And if it works for the couple, who's to say that's them saying, stop sniffing around this whole bush. And by bush, I don't mean bush. I mean literally like a bush. I'm not great with saying sniffing around it. You know, I'm not great with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But that's crazy.

[Jake Johnson]

You're sniffing for food in there because you're an animal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop. Because that is of all the things you could have just yanked out and just in the middle of this conversation you're doing around the bush because you're a scavenger.

[Jake Johnson]

Dude, I'm sniffing for an animal that was killed but hasn't been fully crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? What animal? If you're gonna call this animal for.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm hoping for a squirrel, maybe a rat. No, raccoon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Careful, because you're getting very close to one.

[Jake Johnson]

A rat? No, a raccoon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop.

[Jake Johnson]

A kitten.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're moments away from beaver, so stop. But Julie, what do you think of that? I think what we could do here is we could do the hypothetical conversation you out and see how you feel. But I do think you can find a way to allude without directly asking. And you're just going to have a fact finding reaction when you see what one of them or both of them look like.

[Julie]

Yeah, I think that'll be good. I like the like pretend like a third person being like, oh, yeah, they, you know, they're having problems now because he brought up this kind of like, not like just bringing it up like that so I don't have like a having someone else do it.

[Jake Johnson]

Julie, let's do this really fast. Gareth, you want to be mom or dad?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure, I'll be mom, but I'll be a grounded mom.

[Sponsor Voice]

Don't worry.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, I'll be dad. Julie, start the con. Wait who are you going to talk to? Your mom or your dad or both?

[Julie]

I probably talk. They'd probably both be in the room.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think both is great.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, we're all in the room. We're watching.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're putting the finishing touches on dinner. We're watching a TV show. We're eating or something.

[Jake Johnson]

That sounds nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I mean, because it's the morning. We're hungry. Run, Zooms.

[Jake Johnson]

Breakfast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Having a breakfast full of coffee. Talking to Julie about fighting her dad's condoms.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, ready? So, Julie, you're gonna run point. We're gonna see how you do. Okay.

[Julie]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Three, two, Piggly and.

[Julie]

Hey, guys, how are you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're having dinner. We've already talked.

[Jake Johnson]

What?

[Julie]

Oh, yeah, the dinner was really great. Thank, yeah, thanks for having us over.

[Jake Johnson]

Of course. You're welcome. Sorry about your mom's insane start to this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't think you should apologize because it was pretty obvious that we'd already been hanging out. So it's weird to start like that.

[Sponsor Voice]

Start.

[Jake Johnson]

I'll also say cool it a little bit. Yeah, hun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, babe. I always listen to you.

[Julie]

All right. Yeah. So. So one of. So one of my friends, she. Her and her husband are having some problems. Like he brought up, he mentioned that he wanted to start swinging with, you know, going out and on cruises and. No, maybe I shouldn't bring up cruises.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Julie]

Yeah, let's start over here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've got a picture. Fake a text message or a call that you're ignoring.

[Jake Johnson]

You were giving her too much. She's. No, but then to start juggling. If you want it, Julie, you like a text to initiate it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just go. It's my friend Denise.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so how about this?

[Julie]

We don't really. We don't really text convert. We don't conversate via text very much.

[Jake Johnson]

No, no, no, I'm talking about. He's saying you got a text from a friend. Look at it. Then you go, hey, guys, I just got something in the room.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So it's not. Hey, here's a crazy thing.

[Julie]

Yeah, Random thing happening. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, so here's the thing. We're just in a scene now and you're watching tv and when you get the text, you start it. But your mom's going to be talking to your dad and just interrupt when you're ready.

[Curtis]

Okay?

[Julie]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Three, two. You can adopt a chimp with Jake and Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, gosh, it's supposed to be more humid this week. I'm just.

[Whitney]

Oh, gosh.

[Julie]

I just got this.

[Whitney]

I just got this text.

[Julie]

I Just got this text from one of my friends and her. Her and her husband, she's going to stay at. She's asking to stay at our house because her and her husband got in a big fight. He asked her if she wanted to go out and they tried opening up, opening up their.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Julie, are you okay, honey? Are you having a panic?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You seem manic.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, this. You're scaring me with your saying a

[Gareth Reynolds]

lot of extra words.

[Jake Johnson]

Everything's a little bit choppy.

[Julie]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's switch. Julie, I'm gonna be you. You be your mom. Gareth, you be the dad. Okay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is good.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so, Julie, you're your mom. Okay.

[Julie]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Will you lead me in, Gareth?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, absolutely. And the whole video is about how you can gut a fish in five minutes, but you have to wash your hands after you got a fish. Did I tell you that, honey?

[Julie]

No, that's crazy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, because the parasites in some of these things, if you're not washing your hands, you could. If you touch your face, infections can be. I saw this guy who had a terrible nose infection on one of these videos. My whole. What do they call the thing where YouTube recommends stuff? Your

[Julie]

recommended feed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but it's. There's a term for like the computer. The way the computer's telling me that. That's what I want to see

[Julie]

suggesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, but it's like a technical term. The. The thing. The. The thing that tells you. The thing that knows you. What is the thing that knows you? Do you know what I mean? Like, because I've watched a lot of this thing now all its. The technology that they're all talking about, that they're all going for the. The guy, the chipper, the coder guys, the whole. What is the thing? Where it's starting to recommend based on your. What? You know what I mean, hon?

[Julie]

Like on your previous.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's sort of the. I feel like we're playing ten thousand Dollar Pyramid. But it. What is the thing? It's like this term. The term, it ends with like. Like if someone's playing the guitar, they could be like blank or blues or blank and blues. Your. If you're tapping your. Your hands because you listen to the radio, it's because you like the beat. But it's also the. You know.

[Jake Johnson]

Just got a crazy text.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, hey, Julie.

[Jake Johnson]

Algorithm and scene. All right, so, Julie, follow up with us. O.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Julie, you've got this.

[Jake Johnson]

Just got.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Blame it on a friend.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, you got.

[Julie]

Okay, and I'm open for a poll too. I'm open for Outside, just like your parents.

[Jake Johnson]

You're open, let's do this. Julie, you take the lead on it. Everybody in the comments, please. Or leave a voice note. Don't just email in, but if you're going to email, just do a voice note where you either you just can say, I think Julie's parents are swingers, or I think Julie's parents are not, or just write in the comments. Swingers, not swingers. Julie, pay attention to the comments and see where it's at.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Drop a pineapple if you think they're swingers.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, a pineapple. Or no, do it on anywhere you go. So YouTube, we're back on that. We're just starting that again. Spotify, Apple, wherever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't think Hulu allows comments. I don't know how that works, but I don't think if you're doing that, then go to another one too. Yeah. And Julie, pay attention to all the comments. Do this and then follow up with us and we'll talk them out together.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got it?

[Whitney]

Okay.

[Julie]

Okay, awesome. Thank you guys so much.

[Jake Johnson]

See you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bye, Julie.

[Whitney]

Thank you. Bye.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. If you want to know what's great about Squarespace, Gareth Reynolds, tell them about your website.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, every, I. I keep building different websites because it's so easy with Squarespace. Squarespace. But I, I've been working with Squarespace for a while. Could not be more user friendly. They make it very easy and your website looks great. And we've built multiple websites on this show because it's so easy. They really, they help you find the domain, they help you get.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, here to help. Pod.com is our show website that is constantly evolving. And one thing I want to say, and that's a Squarespace. Guys, check out the website because it's starting to evolve a little bit. So we've gotten emails from people being like, where do I find the blank in the blank? Well, go to heretohelpod.com which is a Squarespace website, to get all the answers you need. Squarespace gives you everything you need. It's got cutting edge design, it's got. You can put donations on there. Fun. Directly on your website if you want.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can put on there. There's also is the SEO tools, which for a while I just kept saying it and I didn't know what it was, but I don't know what it is. I'm gonna tell you, it's search engine optimization. So it's like if someone's looking for what you provide. They help you get higher in the search, which can be huge.

[Jake Johnson]

That's cool.

[Steve Berg]

I think optimization is good.

[Jake Johnson]

There you go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. Coming in at the end.

[Jake Johnson]

So check out squarespace. Com gil sentme Ah Ms. Gil. Can we get a taste of Gil Buchanan reading the end of this copy?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake Johnson SEO Tools Talk about being

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

That would be Gilbyu, Canada. An island by himself. Things are still going good. I've been talking into a microphone, but it's actually a shoe. I'm still in the closet waiting for

[Sponsor Voice]

someone to come find me.

[Jake Johnson]

But actually Gil, it looks like your microphone is not plugged in, brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So sorry, I didn't understand how that was. Anyway, Squarespace. Gil sent me we're back.

[Jake Johnson]

Save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using Gil sent me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're back baby. Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Quint. Lately I've been more intentional about what I wear day to day. Leaning into pieces that feel easy, comfortable and put together just makes getting dressed simpler. Quince has been my go to. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are clean and everything just works without needing to overthink it. This is real talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

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I have bought probably nine Quint shirts. I do a bunch of the black T shirts and lately I've done the short sleeve collared shirts and I'll tell you why. I can wear it on the pod. I could wear it out socially to a lunch easy. But I could also wear it to a business event.

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the podcast is brought to you by Mint Mobile Brian Farrell, a dear friend of mine and the Podcast uses Mint Mobile and says he sees zero difference and has no idea why more people aren't switching. He had, I think sprinter at and T1 of the big ones. And I said, tell me what you think. And he said, honestly, it's just as good. The difference is it's way less money.

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[Jake Johnson]

Hello.

[Curtis]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

How are you doing?

[Curtis]

Well, Nissan good.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we get your first name, please?

[Curtis]

My name is Curtis.

[Jake Johnson]

Curtis. Where are you calling from, Curtis? You ever go by Kurt, by the way?

[Curtis]

Yeah, I. I kind of switch back and forth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you a K or a C on Curtis?

[Curtis]

That's okay, actually.

[Jake Johnson]

Interesting. You care if I call you Kurt?

[Curtis]

Kurt's fine by me.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks. Thanks, Kurt. Where are you calling from, Kurt?

[Curtis]

I'm calling from. Well, closest to Hamilton in Canada, but kind of on the boonies.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. What's your. What are. Where are you? Is it northeast? I don't know. Hamilton

[Curtis]

close to the border. Like on the. On Lake Erie? Just on the other side.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Kind of. Any idea what he's talking about?

[Jake Johnson]

And what can we do for you today, Kurt?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, my dumb ass. Mind laying out a map?

[Jake Johnson]

You started?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I Was like, oh, yeah,

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. I don't want to say I think I know, but I could be wrong.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I kind of know, but I don't want to talk about it.

[Sponsor Voice]

How about that?

[Steve Berg]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Curtis, Kurt, what's going on?

[Curtis]

All right, well, I sent this one in the other day, and, well, I was actually kind of listening to you guys while I ran into this problem. So I'm. I work as a janitor on the weekends.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Curtis]

At a big factory. And I got a set timeline schedule in which I am supposed to get things done. But there's this one fella who's taken it upon himself to take a really long time in the bathroom, and I can't go in there to. To clean this bathroom when there's somebody in it.

[Jake Johnson]

Awful.

[Curtis]

And so he's occupying up the space of like, half an hour, 40 minutes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Awful for Kurt. Yes. Yeah, keep going, Kurt. Sorry.

[Curtis]

Well, I mean, it's not a place where I want to spend a lot of time anyways, but I got to kind of get things done so my, like, quick and finite. How do I encourage this person to move it along?

[Jake Johnson]

I've got a pitch.

[Julie]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got questions, but go.

[Jake Johnson]

Can we do the questions after the pitch?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Small talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's great.

[Curtis]

You mean you want me to creep him?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I want. When he's in there, you go like this. It's, hey, bud, where you from? And he goes, what? And you go, you from around here? And he goes, yeah. And then you go, yeah. I was raised near Hamilton. I love it around here. You know, I love the fishing and the hunting. And he goes, like, all right, man, I'll be out in a minute. And you go like this, oh, it's all right, man. I'm just cleaning up. And then you go, you like fishing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Jake Johnson]

You like trout fishing? Bass fishing? You like pulling fish out of the water? He's going to wipe his butt. Walk out and go, good, senior. When he goes in there again and you go like this, hey, my friend, you're back. It's me, Kurt. You're going to hear flush. He's going to walk out with a dirty button. Go. I hate that fucking guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's pretty good. I mean, there you could even. I mean, I think small talks are real good. How long is he in there, Kurt?

[Curtis]

So it's not that I love monitoring these things, but it's now, like 30 to 40 minutes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Insane.

[Jake Johnson]

He's not doing well. That's too long. I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, he's. He's doing well.

[Curtis]

I. I don't think he's actually accomplishing business. I think he's just hanging out on his phone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that.

[Sponsor Voice]

The.

[Jake Johnson]

But sitting on the phone for that long. I'm sitting on the toilet for that long. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

With your phone, who. Who. I mean, who's like, I need the. I just need to sit like. Like Donald Duck for a little while and, like, Doom script.

[Curtis]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Curtis, what kind of. Can I throw one.

[Curtis]

One thing in? Can I throw one other thing in for your pitches? Yeah, for me, like, so I don't work for this company. Right. I work for a separate company. And for me, these. These working shifts, they're perfect because I don't have to talk to nobody. This is my peace and quiet time of the week, you know?

[Jake Johnson]

Right.

[Curtis]

So if I cannot actually, actually actively engage with these people, especially when they're on the toilet, that would be ideal for that.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like. First of all, that's because it's house money, I think. Well, look, I. I think Jake's in the right zone.

[Jake Johnson]

Release crickets.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's that?

[Jake Johnson]

Release crickets.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Release.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm serious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, just got.

[Jake Johnson]

No, but I'm serious. I think if you're taking a dump and all of a sudden crickets are running around, you're like, what am I, in an outhouse? I'd rather. I'd rather not. It's not comfortable. We have to make it not comfortable for him to sit in there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, the problem with the crickets is that then Curtis is making, you know, Curtis janitor. So if they're like, we got crickets. That's more. Curtis work.

[Jake Johnson]

Great. He gets. He gets to do fake work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got an idea. Why don't we. You know, one of the. My favorite things is when the. You. I don't watch award ceremonies anymore, but I'm sure, you know, you've been to him, Jake. I mean, you know, when that orchestra starts playing and it starts cutting people off and letting people know it's time to wrap it up? You could maybe put on some orchestra

[Jake Johnson]

or wrap up music.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're done in here. The band's playing you off music. So you could just put your phone in there and just kind of give him a little bit of like.

[Curtis]

I actually. I actually like that, too.

[Jake Johnson]

What about going off of that, Changing the light to a sensor light?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or you could do that.

[Jake Johnson]

Walk in and just open the door and turn the lights off.

[Curtis]

And then if you go pitching that.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, I would just walk in, but don't even say anything. Just walk in, hit the lights, walk Out. And then he goes like, I'm in here. I'm in here. You don't hear that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I like that. And what you could do. Have you seen this guy? You know what this guy looks like?

[Curtis]

Yeah, yeah, I know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would. I would tell him, I would say, just so you know, we've switched the censored lights in there. So you maybe don't want to take.

[Jake Johnson]

No, because what you don't want him to do is go like this while he's taking a dump and move the arms.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've done that though, and it doesn't work. And you're like, it doesn't. There's. There's times where I've been. There's like, certain. I can't remember, but I've definitely been in place. Like comedy clubs, sometimes the green room, bathroom will happen. Have that at mid piss. You'll be like, God damn it, I gotta go all the way back.

[Jake Johnson]

You could.

[Curtis]

Well, off the stage. If we're going that far. I might have to, like, make a trophy after a couple of weeks.

[Jake Johnson]

Hand him a trophy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know.

[Curtis]

I don't handle the trophy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I like how he's pitching stuff that we're both like, too far, Too far, too big. Curtis, slow down.

[Jake Johnson]

But I think, Curtis, I think you've got some options here. What are you kind of thinking when we talk this out? What are you thinking you're actually gonna do?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I've got another one.

[Curtis]

I'm kind of liking the exit music.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know, another one, another one that. You know what always gets me off of the toilet from the public is someone sitting in the stall next to me.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That to me is always like, so, Curtis, if you go in, sit in the stall, next, drop trowel. I just think the most people's thinking is, oh, you're the newest here. I've got to get out of here because it's your time to shine.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, I have an idea also. Go in there, sit down and be on a fake conversation or turn our podcast on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's a great escalation.

[Jake Johnson]

Just take a. Put an episode on. So if you don't want to do the talking, take your headphones off. You're probably. You probably listen to us while you're cleaning. That's what you said. So.

[Curtis]

Well, yeah, that's what. Yeah, I do.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you have? Headphones?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great.

[Jake Johnson]

You got head. You. What do you wear, Kurt? Headphones?

[Curtis]

Yes, yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Take them off, brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, just let him sit in there and go like. And Then if he goes like, hey, man, could you turn that off?

[Steve Berg]

Go.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, this isn't a lobby, brother. Yeah, this ain't a waiting room.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The communication go ahead.

[Curtis]

I guess, best gate. Sorry, I guess, best case scenario, this conversation plays. And I can actually play this conversation while sitting beside him.

[Jake Johnson]

You know what you can also do?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow.

[Jake Johnson]

We could right now play a clip where the three of us just exclusively talk about getting off the toilet. So you don't have to do any talking. You just play this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we can even do this in this, like, it's very meta. But right now, potentially, Curtis is playing this next to the guy in the stall.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So if you're in a stall and you're at work and you take long 40 minute dumps, or right now you're thinking, it's not talking about me. I don't take that long. Well, our pal's a janitor and he's got to clean up after and he needs to wait for your 40 minute dump.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's going on?

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, get off the toilet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Get off. I mean, you know what you are?

[Jake Johnson]

You're done.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're the customer who walks in at 9:50 and stays as long as you want. We close at 10.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. If you want something now, get off the toilet. You're done. And if you're not done after 40 minutes, go to a doctor. Because you're sick, your insides are essentially bleeding out.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But this is not.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a three minute activity, Gary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is. This is you listen. That is the whole thing. Go in there when it's time. It shouldn't take that long. If it's taken that long, you got to go. But you're not the only. This is not. This is a shared space.

[Jake Johnson]

And. Hey, pal, I want you to think about something for a second. We're obviously animals. We belong in the animal kingdom, right? Like the rest of us. We're no different from them. Could you imagine a dog taking a 40 minute dump? You know what you would do? You'd call an emergency vet.

[Julie]

That.

[Curtis]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

No, my cat has been pooing for 40 minutes in the litter box, you'd cry. If Jose pooed for 40 minutes, you'd cry. You'd be like this, something's up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ah. I mean, would be in the car. But this guy for you, sitting in the stall, Jose's my cat.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but homeboy, you're doing this on a daily basis. So do me a favor, do yourself a favor and do Kurt the janitor sitting right next to you wipe that butt of yours. Pull your Big boy, underpants on, put your pants on, walk out, don't make eye contact, then walk out, wash your hands, and then tomorrow, maybe do this at home before work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, and if it happens at work, it's just an in and out.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but it's like, this is where I go fast at home. We had a caller the other day, pal, who was saying she likes to stretch her legs out while taking dubs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So do that at home, but not at work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. Yeah, there's. It's a different vibe. So, yeah, wrap it up and get off the toilet. Go get him.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Kurt. Would you rather play this as a whole or get that on a loop and just play that on a loop?

[Curtis]

Both sound like good options. I think, just considering how long it can take, I. I kind of have an idea in which I don't actually. Actually have to sit down. I'm going to play it, leave my phone in the bathroom, and just let that play. Great.

[Jake Johnson]

Take your phone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm into that.

[Curtis]

I. I don't think that'll happen, but.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Maybe put high up somewhere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I like that.

[Jake Johnson]

I think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's. I think that's a good alt plan, and I think. Look, what you can do is you can just set it at the start of this call, and if this is not wrapping itself up naturally, then you can just go to the section we just did, and you can really just. Just play that.

[Jake Johnson]

You can also just play it on a loop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, we can send you a loop if you want. If you want the loop option.

[Curtis]

You know what? Please send me the loop, and if it doesn't work the first time, I'll eat up the temperature a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. By the way. And follow up with us, Kurt. But this is going to work. It might take one or two bites of this apple, but we'll get it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I think this is good. This. Nobody likes the spotlight in this moment.

[Jake Johnson]

No, it's a. You. You're. He's looking for a dark hole to hide from his co workers. Yeah, but this dark hole needs to be cleaned by you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I think part of the issue is that we're on the weekends, so there's not a lot of people there. Yeah, so. So it's like he's.

[Whitney]

Like.

[Jake Johnson]

He thinks he found a secret bathroom, which everybody talks about at work. It's. Everyone uses that, but on the seventh floor, there's a little secret bathroom. Yeah, well, guess what? This ain't it, pal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Squatter. Get out.

[Jake Johnson]

Kurt, will you follow up with us, bud?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Go get him, Kurt.

[Curtis]

Absolutely. Like this idea.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Please go.

[Jake Johnson]

It's gonna work.

[Curtis]

All right. Thanks, fellas.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, thanks, buddy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bye.

[Curtis]

Take care. Take care.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God bless.

[Jake Johnson]

God bless you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God bless you, Kurt. Hello.

[Julie]

Hey. Hi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's your name?

[Whitney]

It's Whitney.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi, Whitney.

[Whitney]

Popcorn queen.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, we've been emailing a little bit.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's remind people, Whitney, and update us a big one.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a big one, Whitney.

[Whitney]

Yep, no big deal. Just trying to find my husband a kidney through popcorn related experiences.

[Jake Johnson]

So walk us. So walk the audience through. Some people, believe it or not, have not listened to the back catalog and they're starting here. So walk us through what the problem was, what we suggested, where we got to, and then walk our audience. Who knows where we're at right now.

[Whitney]

Sounds good. So I had a problem that only the guys could help. As you know, it was very specific. So I called into the podcast because after my husband had brain surgery from a CNS lymphoma, he developed a very weird habit where he would have popcorn obsessively multiple times a day. And it was in the bed and it was on the floor, and it was just a mess everywhere. And I called in because I just needed help with it. It was out of control. Long story short, the follow up call happened. Jake had some. Some suggestions and we did try them. Didn't really work, but it did end up making me come around to popcorn and I just have adjusted to this new life and adapted the role of popcorn queen. And I had it with him and we set some boundaries in the process of all of this. Jake's big monkey gorilla heart that he has. That's so kind. And Gareth, obviously security guard on New Girl, has so graciously said, hey, if we could solve this problem, we can definitely find my husband who's in kidney failure, get a kidney transplant, because we have the best community of people out here and. And we've just been communicating and going through the process so far.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but wait, so we need to jump in for a second. So there were. There were a bunch of emails that came in that I was sending to you, and we. You and I were going back and forth and I said that you've got to vet them because this is now getting real. People are writing in saying, like, I would actually do this. And so I was like, this is above our pay grade to vet. But then you've got some people that you've been vetting, correct?

[Whitney]

Yes, correct. I have some amazing people. So out of the podcast, just from the emails that you've sent and then a couple that have reached out to me indirectly through socials as well. We had 10 surefire people that were

[Julie]

like, I'm ready to do this.

[Whitney]

Like, let's go. Like, take me to the table now. And out of those 10, five have already started the process that, like, through the hospital vetting. So much so that one of them we actually became really good friends with that was a listener of the pod. I think it was one of the first emails. His name was Win and he lives outside of Birmingham. And when we were there last time for Alexa's testing, because we have to go quite often, he met us, him and his fiance. We got lunch, we became friends, and he's the furthest already involved.

[Jake Johnson]

Like, amazing.

[Whitney]

Talk about a full circle experience of the friendship game, meet the kidney game, everything at once.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, here's what we want to do when we find the match for your popcorn king.

[Julie]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

If we've got nine other people who want to do this, be part of the help us find nine other matches.

[Whitney]

So that's what I'm working on. Actually. I have some big things in store. I, I don't think small, I think large. Right.

[Jake Johnson]

We're gonna take this further, see what we can do.

[Whitney]

So. So here's the thing I noticed when I was in Birmingham and we had a meet with, you know, all the people, we spoke to the social worker, and she said something that caught my attention. She asked alexa, how motivated are you for transplant? And I found that question odd because why wouldn't the answer be very motivated? He hates dialysis. It's blood sucking his life away. And she said to me, that's not a common answer. And I said, why? She said, because people will spend their lives on the transplant list waiting, but they can't afford to get a transplant because when finally get the call, there's no funding for them to be out of work for two months. They can't afford it, so they have to turn it down. And I said, that's unacceptable. I'm going to do something about that, because that should not be. If I have 10 people that are willing to form a podcast about popcorn and problems, get a kidney, there's no way that this other stuff can't happen. So everyone that's reached out, we've also had people that work at local charities that just all over the world, different connections. I'm going to start a foundation. I already have meetings set up with the VP of the hospital, and it's going to be a transplant recovery fund. If you can't actually give an organ. You're going to be able to then donate to this cause that people that do have, you know, ready to get an organ can get it. Because that's unacceptable. Because as the donor, you get all the funding, which as it should be. You're giving us your organ. Everything is covered for you as a donor. But there's. We have to be in Birmingham after his transplant for a month, like about eight weeks. I have to miss work. I have to find sitters for my kids. I have to find an Airbnb. There's a lot of expenses. I'm out of work. I have to caretake. Yeah. I'm telling you. So maybe they could hook up with me with a foundation. So we'll see.

[Julie]

But I don't know.

[Whitney]

I just.

[Jake Johnson]

I love what you're doing here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's. Listen, there's so many things we hear about how it works, and you just go, what the. The idea that if you're Don. So how about this? That's great. When you get this h. Do you. I mean, do you feel like you're going to get this off the ground? And if you are, is that going to be. What's your time frame on that?

[Whitney]

I. I have. When I say I am going on a just day by day basis, but. Okay. I did not have it on my bingo card this year to call in a podcast about popcorn and get a kidney. So, honestly, I can't tell you. Garrett's like, this is a really weird situation I'm in, but every day another door opens and we're just walking through it. And I have. We have to go to Birmingham in May. We'll be there May 1st. I'm setting up meetings with the VP with my proposals, and I'm going to try if there's any listener out there that has ever organized a 501C3 that has experience, audience. Email me, call me, text me.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Whitney, put your. Send us the email right now. Tell us an email where people can email you directly.

[Whitney]

Yes, I'm gonna. I already have it drafted. I'm gonna give you everything. I'm gonna give you everything. So I was thinking maybe I could just have a generalized document that you guys could have and they could click on it and if they needed information, it's everything they need. So if they want to be a donor, if they want information about organ donation, Alexa or the foundation, I'll have it all right there. I'll get it all organized. It'll be so simple.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so, Whitney, we are 100 in. But do you have an email right now? Anybody can first and last name.

[Whitney]

Yep. Spell it girl as W, H, I P, any Y. Like Whitney Houston without the crack. And then it's a R, A, N, A. Okay, send it over and I'd be happy to help.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, you're not sending. It's happening right now. This is going to all air. If you're comfortable with this.

[Whitney]

Yeah, go for it.

[Jake Johnson]

So to any listener listening to this right now, will, what we're asking you to do, if, if there's something that you can do to help, if you, if you just know how to do this, if you're a lawyer, if you've done the five, whatever is. And you're like, you know what? This is something I'm interested in. If you are connected to fundraising, if you're connected to somebody with a lot of money, if you want to be on the board.

[Whitney]

I know, I don't know if there, if I know anyone that I'm talking to has money or not.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, we're going to figure it out who could help. But we have a lot of listeners and we're going to look, we didn't know we were going to get.

[Whitney]

People have been amazing.

[Jake Johnson]

So we're going to kind of see what could happen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I will gladly, yes. Fly out there and do a fundraising show. Actually there's. I know a couple great comics out there, so we could easily put together something when you feel like the time is right to.

[Whitney]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do a fundraiser out there.

[Jake Johnson]

We could do a lot of people

[Gareth Reynolds]

that want to help. What we really could do, honestly.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is we could do like we're here to help telethon for this charity.

[Jake Johnson]

That's exactly right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We could do something like that. We could just do it. We could go to Rabbit Grinch and we could just do live some. We could just do it. We could figure out a way to

[Jake Johnson]

do like a, a full on telethon. I just don't know how.

[Whitney]

And I do, you know, I want to thank everybody. I mean, first of all, I wanted to thank, you know, like the podcast. Like, I know it's serious, but it's lives that we're talking about. My husband is the, you know, Chumbawamba. He's been through literally insane things that would take anyone out and he gets up every day and he's so positive and he's so kind and he's just so honored that every one of the people that have reached out just genuinely want to help. And it's amazing in our own family and friends don't even do this. So the fact that strangers on a Podcast do is crazy. And Jake and Gareth, for you guys just taking the time out of your schedules to even think about, you know, us as well, we just wanted to say thank you because you are making a difference. You know, he has two young kids who want to play with them and hang out, and they're always asking, where's dad? And he's at dialysis getting his blood drawn like a vampire four days a week, and it's exhausting. So giving him the chance at life again to enjoy his youth is huge. And we're just so grateful. And the fact that multiple other people could also benefit from this because of other people is even better. And it's turning into something great. They did also give me a couple, couple of other resources. There's people that actually already went through this and donated kidneys that gave me their name and numbers that are like, hey, if anyone wants to talk to me from my side of already giving a kidney, I'm here for them. So I also have those contacts. If you just want to talk it out with somebody because you're, like, curious and, you know, we're still standing on. We're traveling back and forth from Birmingham. It is getting costly and expensive, but we're making it work. Like, my mindset is you don't question it, you just do it, because that's what you do, you know, and you figure it out later. But it's just been a fun experience. And a lot of the nurses in Birmingham heard the podcast and a couple of them went up to us and said, is this the popcorn game? It was really crazy. I mean, the doctors were very confused.

[Jake Johnson]

One thing I want to say, Whitney, is I appreciate, and I know Gareth does too. We do have a lot of fun on this. The fact that this one is getting real. We appreciate you driving the train because what we say on this show a lot is we're just messing around. But when people get involved and do something, that's where we can really get wings because we do have a community. And in terms of the seriousness and the life and death aspect of it, I do need to say the previous caller was a woman calling about breastfeeding and how she takes both breasts out when she breastfeed. And we did pitch that her brother in law should get a fake dildo and make it seem like he's getting a boner while looking at the boobs. So just to be clear, the integrity and the strength and the change is coming from you. And we just happen to be near somebody doing great stuff with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's. It's important for Jake to point that out.

[Julie]

Perfect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's important to point that out so that we can say, hey, you know, we also try to do good stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

It wasn't all, you do good, terrible pitches.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's not all, hey, sneak a dildo in your boyfriend's pants so that one of the things goes away.

[Jake Johnson]

At least we hope not.

[Curtis]

But.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, but I think what, Yeah, I mean, essentially what, what Jake's saying is like, get, listen, use the community for whatever you can and let keep us posted. But once you get something in place and you need us to just.

[Jake Johnson]

She knows. Yeah, just call us right back and we'll be just. We're a bit part of it too.

[Whitney]

I know you guys got her back. I mean, I believe that wholeheartedly. And the community does too. There's no doubt about it. It's just now, like I said, just putting the pieces of the puzzle together and looking for that one puzzle piece. But if you're listening, and again, I'll just repeat it if you're an O blood type and you have a spare part that you want to give and get some podcast attention too, because I know Jake's really excited to see who it ends up being.

[Jake Johnson]

Absolutely. By the way, anybody who donates to anybody we want on the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So if you come through this and it starts graciously as well, we will do a whole thing. If we do that fundraiser thing we do, like, we'll have everybody on. It's like, yeah, it's a big part of the show.

[Whitney]

And not only a part of the show, like, I think too, like Jake and Gareth, this is also big for the podcast. I mean, this takes it from something that is lighthearted and fun to actually making a huge impact that could get like, you know, more national attention. I mean, we do this.

[Jake Johnson]

I know, but Whitney would do the same thing because if that brother in law put that dildo in, that's going to fix that problem too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That could get us attention too. I think that's going to get us some attention as well. To be attention. So, so we need this.

[Jake Johnson]

We just needed to point that out. Knows who they're dealing with.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm offering my kidney. We need to really figure this out.

[Whitney]

I know. Are you an old blood type?

[Julie]

Don't.

[Whitney]

Don't tease me now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't tease me. No, I'm not. I'm not. But. No, no, that is, is, that is, but, but yeah. Like Jake said, like, we're here, so. So get it started and let us know. And we will. We will jump into action when it's

[Jake Johnson]

time and we appreciate you.

[Whitney]

Send an email and we'll create the link, whatever it is.

[Julie]

And.

[Whitney]

And lastly, if you're not O blood type, it is okay. There is a swap program. So your kidding will go to someone else who will go to someone else and then it will go down the line back to our original person plus 5 other people. Computer science has created that machine. Thank you, computers. So yeah, you're not out of the running and you make a difference. And I just. Thank you guys. And we still do eat popcorn multiple times a night if you're wondering.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the big question.

[Jake Johnson]

And the hope is just like we're trying to get a bunch of people to get vasectomies with Gareth in May. We are looking to donate as many kidneys as we can. If we can get to 100 kidneys,

[Gareth Reynolds]

liver, whatever they take out of my testicles, we can. I can give you that. I don't know if we can.

[Jake Johnson]

And you've given enough of that to people. Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay is right. I think you giving it to your hair for a year of this show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've given that to enough people.

[Jake Johnson]

Whitney, we appreciate you. We love you. Our thoughts are with you guys and follow up with us really soon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bye.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] hereto help pod to see our entire catalog.

[Steve Berg]

We're Here to Help is produced by

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rabbit Grim Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdyke, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only. And all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Whitney]

That was a Headgum podcast. That was a Headgum podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Steve Berg]

Sterling K. Brown.

[Jake Johnson]

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that was us now on Headgum.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Each episode we're gonna go into a deep dive. From our show.

[Whitney]

This is us.

[Steve Berg]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[Steve Berg]

Are we gonna cry?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, a little bit.

[Steve Berg]

Are we gonna laugh a lot?

[Gareth Reynolds]

A whole lot.

[Steve Berg]

That's what I'm hoping.

[Curtis]

Man.

[Steve Berg]

Listen to. That was us. On your favorite podcast app or what? Watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.