WEIRD Here To Help: Seance At The Cheesecake Factory & Workplace Whimsy

Summary

Podcast Summary: "WEIRD Here To Help: Seance At The Cheesecake Factory & Workplace Whimsy"

Podcast: We're Here to Help (Headgum)
Episode: 289
Hosts: Steve Berg & Eric Edelstein
Date: May 8, 2026

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Episode Overview

This wild and hilarious episode of We're Here to Help centers on two key themes: the unexpected chaos of workplace social dynamics (including a legendary seance attempt at the Cheesecake Factory) and creative ideas for fostering fun and whimsy in the modern office. Steve and Eric, true to their offbeat friendship style, zigzag between personal anecdotes, caller dilemmas, and absurd advice, delivering both belly laughs and surprisingly sharp insight.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

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Catching Up: "Tick on Dick" Update & Haunted Lectures

Timestamp: 00:00–10:25

• Tick Incident Recap: Steve updates listeners on his infamous "tick on dick" from a prior episode. He reports he’s healed with no Lyme symptoms, attributing recovery to “teacher plants and vitamin D.”
• Eric's Concern: Eric wonders why Steve didn’t go to a doctor (“sheer laziness,” says Steve).
• Ghost Hunting Story (Malvern Manor): Steve recounts giving a lecture on “anonymous light phenomenon” at a haunted manor and ghost-hunting with "professional ghost investigators.”
  • Notable moment: Steve, the only man in a group, is called a “bitch” by a supposed ghost via a spirit box ([06:06]).
  • Humor: Eric cracks, “I love you, but she had you pegged. I mean, I am a bitch. That’s why we do the show together.” ([06:32])
• Paranormal Skepticism vs. Enthusiasm: Despite the fun, Steve admits skepticism about ghosts but can't explain the "bitch" moment.

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Caller 1: Beatrice from Minnesota – "Seance at the Cheesecake Factory"

Timestamp: 10:25–36:09

Setting the Stage

• About Beatrice: Works in HR in the Twin Cities; loves ABBA, Tolkien, and Schitt’s Creek.
• Minnesota Chat: Regional food (hot dishes, tater tot casseroles) and regional niceness get a shoutout.
• Problem Introduction: Beatrice’s boss (her HR manager, soon retiring) tried to conduct a seance during a work dinner at a Cheesecake Factory. When a religious colleague asked Beatrice to help her escape, the boss was offended and later formally reprimanded Beatrice for “inappropriate behavior.”

Key Discussion Points

• Legendary Boss Behavior:
  • “She’s an HR manager trying to summon spirits at the Cheesecake Factory. Long may she run.” – Eric ([17:55])
  • Both hosts agree the boss’s actions are “legend behavior,” but crossing personal boundaries is inappropriate.
• Consent & Rituals: Steve stresses, “You should never force anyone or put anyone in [a] position where they’re feeling bad about not participating in a ritual.” ([18:41])
• Should She Report the Boss?
  • Steve: Leans toward reporting, since it’s an HR violation and Beatrice is at the start of her career.
    • “If I’m the boss, I feel like you know what, Beatrice is not scared of…seniority…something inappropriate happened and she had the guts to report it.” ([23:53])
  • Eric: Hates “snitches,” but admits, “I think this is the rare time. I think it helps you and…your poor coworker was made to feel very uncomfortable.” ([32:27])
  • Suggestion: “Snitch in a funny way,” with a “little rye smile.” ([32:45])
• Inviting the Boss on the Podcast: Eric suggests the retiring boss should appear on "Weird Here to Help" to do a public seance (“She can get the southwestern egg rolls and talk to the dead. We'd have her on.”) ([24:21])
• Backstory Bombshell: It’s not the first time—the boss did a one-on-one seance with Beatrice on her first business trip ([28:26]). Beatrice found the scripts repetitive and unconvincing.
• Final Advice:
  • Report the incident, but do it playfully.
  • Follow up with the show to update what happened during the actual seance—“We need to know what went down at that seance. It’s crucial to our show.” ([34:48])

Notable Quotes

• “A forced seance by your boss at the Cheesecake Factory on paper is the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.” – Steve ([34:12])
• “This call is what we're all about.” – Eric ([36:12])

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[Sponsor Breaks & Skipped Sections]

Brief mentions of Squarespace, Booking.com, Mint Mobile (timestamps: 36:30–41:40).

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Caller 2: Carrie from Philadelphia – "Workplace Whimsy"

Timestamp: 41:40–64:11

Setting the Stage

• About Carrie: Philly native, big on American Dad, loves Tyler Childers’ “Purgatory,” and treasures personalized “Storyworth” books from her grandparents.
• Eric and Steve Praise Philly: Warm discussion of Philly’s food, music, and quirks.

Problem Introduction

• Carrie’s New Role: Taking over event planning and employee experience at a small, young consulting office. She wants to inject fun and “whimsy” into daily office life—not just big events.

Key Discussion Points

• Eric’s Immediate Suggestion: “Mad Men”–style booze in the office (with 2020s appropriate caveats), but admits maybe this isn’t for daytime.
  • “An incredible shortcut to whimsy is a spirit or a beer or wine.” ([47:31])
• Small-Scale Whimsy Ideas:
  • Off-site lunches at fun, kitschy chain restaurants (e.g., Cheesecake Factory, Chili's, IHOP).
  • Spirit Week for adults: Dress to support local teams, wear retro jerseys, themed casual Fridays.
  • Ben Franklin Day: Philly icon. A “Benjamin Franklin impersonation contest” ([50:30]), or reciting famous Philly quotes.
    • Carrie: “I could hold up a key, but I don’t think that’s good enough.” ([51:15])
  • Office Video Game Competitions: Mario Kart, GoldenEye; “March Madness”-style brackets with small prizes or PTO.
  • Karaoke Lunch: Mandatory/flexible, with prizes; great for bonding.
  • Consulting Cosplay: Fictional crisis consulting for companies (Enron, Jack in the Box, McDonalds coffee lady).
  • Show and Tell (Remote Work Days): Employees present pets or beloved items. “You are taking Spirit Week to a new and fun adult workplace.” ([60:04])
  • Potlucks/catered themed meals: Not just at Thanksgiving, but to mark holidays or summer (“Fourth of July potluck as Ben Franklin”).
  • Walking tours & bus tours of Philly for team outings, leaning into “tourist joy.”
• Big Picture: Emphasize inclusivity and low time commitment to avoid participant burnout.
  • Steve: “I would start off small with these things…get people used to these kind of weird little things every once in a while.” ([60:59])

Notable Quotes

• "Make Ben Franklin weird again." – Eric ([59:27])
• “You already have the skills to emcee this and be the ultimate karaoke host.” – Eric ([53:43])
• "Thursday is kind of like that—it's like a spicy Friday." – Steve ([49:39])
• “We are definitely curious. We'd love to have to do a follow up up. But in the meantime, we're very excited for you. You…are going to bring the whimsy back.” – Steve ([63:38])

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Memorable Moments

• Steve getting called a “bitch” by a ghost ([06:30])
• The phrase "a seance at the Cheesecake Factory" repeatedly making the hosts crack up
• Eric’s refusal to use Ouija boards due to Catholic trauma and Benadryl nightmares ([20:27])
• The sincere celebration of regional weirdness—hot dish, Ben Franklin, Tyler Childers concerts in Hershey, ghost legends, corporate seances

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Tick & Ghost Stories: 00:00–10:25
• Caller 1 (Beatrice) – Seance at Cheesecake Factory: 10:25–36:09
• Ad/Sponsor Segments (skipped): 36:30–41:40
• Caller 2 (Carrie) – Workplace Whimsy: 41:40–64:11

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Overall Tone & Takeaway

Rambunctious, irreverent, and deeply human. Steve and Eric toggle between supportive advice and absurdity, validating the weirdest situations while championing kindness and inclusivity. Legendary “weird here to help” behavior abounds—from HR bosses channeling spirits over cheesecake, to ideas like Ben Franklin cosplay and pet show-and-tell. Above all, both hosts encourage confronting workplace weirdness with humor, clear boundaries, and a willingness to lovingly “snitch” when required.

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Best Quotes (with Attributions and Timestamps)

• Steve: “A forced seance by your boss at the Cheesecake Factory on paper is the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life and is such Guinness Book, like, legend behavior.” ([34:12])
• Eric: "I'm about no snitches. I'm about no narcs. ... But I think this is the rare time. I think it helps you and ... your poor coworker was made to feel very uncomfortable." ([32:27])
• Steve: "Thursday is kind of like that—it's like a spicy Friday. You know, it's like you're feeling kind of wild." ([49:39])
• Eric: "Make Ben Franklin weird again." ([59:27])

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a masterclass in finding comedy—and occasional wisdom—in even the strangest situations. Whether you're debating reporting a supernatural HR violation or brainstorming ways to make the office fun again, Steve and Eric offer permission (and ideas) to embrace the weird.

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Interested in being featured? Email your stories to [e-mail].

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End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

This is a Headgun podcast. We're here to help. We're here to help. Ladies and gentlemen. It is that time, that place, and that greasy bit of action. It's weird. Here to help with your hosts, Steve Berg, Eric Edelstein. Now, our last episode, we had a doozy of a problem. No one has ever been in more need of help than our brother, Steve Berg. Steve, you had a tick on your dick. A lot of listeners writing in, A lot of people concerned. A lot of amateur advice, a lot of professional advice. Please give us an update. You look okay. Your color looks good. You seem okay. But a lot of people wanted you to go get tested for Lyme. They wanted you to get on a dose of antibiotics. They said the bullseye is not always an indicator of Lyme disease. Please update our good listeners.

[B]

Things are good. We're healed up. Zero symptoms, no bullseye. Should I go to a doctor and get an antibiotics? Maybe. Should I go to a doctor in general? Maybe. However, I'm sure I'm choosing the. The natural path on this one. A lot of teacher plants, some vitamin D. Well, I mean, that's. It's medicine and, you know, okay, it's perspective.

[A]

What about all the people? Like, if you. Because I, I, I've learned so much about ticks since this incident. I've been reading all the comments on Reddit, on Patreon.

[B]

Are they a CIA creation? I don't know. Like, you know, you might, you might be a smart.

[A]

Well, there's some interesting articles I found on that, which I won't get into now.

[B]

No, we'll get. That's for another show. That's for another show.

[A]

Yeah, but a lot of people are saying, just go to the doctor immediately if you're bit by a tick and get those antibiotics so it doesn't turn into Lyme. Yeah, you know me. I am a worrier. Why didn't you do that?

[B]

Oh, sheer laziness, Eric. I'm a roll the dice kind of guy. I like to wait till the problem appears and then freak out and go to the doctor. But, yeah, I didn't, you know, because, I mean, look, look, I've. I like to fly fish. I'm an outdoor kid. I've had so many ticks in my life. I've had. And this is the first time I've had one. I've had one deeper embedded in me, and I've just never. I've, you know, I've just been kind of the school, like, hey, man, like, it's okay. Like, people get bitten by ticks. Also, I will say Nebraska doesn't have a huge Lyme problem. Like, we. I think we. We don't. I don't know if we have. Is it the deer tick that carries slimes a lot? It hasn't really reached this part. I mean, like, look, there is Lyme disease here, but it's not, like, a huge problem. Like, it is in, like, Pennsylvania and New York and stuff like that, because.

[A]

Chris Maloney from Law and Order.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

All the time. And I get scared every time. I know it's not a joke. And he looks like it's. He's been through hell.

[B]

No, I trust Maloney, but, yeah, so far, I'm good. And maybe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, big Malone.

[A]

I'm a Malone. Is there, Steve, a mark or a scar on your phallus? Don't say phallus to me. God. You're walking around the phallus, buddy. And Buzz coming out of the Midwest as you're packing a full lunch king. Is your phallus intact? Is there. Is there a mark on.

[B]

It's okay. It's okay. Yeah. I mean, maybe a slight mark, you know, but I banged it up, put a lot of vitamin E ointment on it and Neosporin. So. No, we're healed up. We're. We're. We're operational again. We're open for business.

[A]

You're open for business? Oh, my. Somebody called.

[B]

I. I do want to slightly switch gears because. Please, I. I had a.

[A]

Bring us out of this hell, the one you created.

[B]

I admit it.

[A]

I admit it.

[B]

Yeah, you brought it up.

[A]

But you did something this week. Talk about my amazing. This week I did.

[B]

Last weekend, I was invited to speak at the. At Malvern Manor, which is a historically haunted location in Malvern, Iowa, and I gave a lecture about anonymous light phenomenon, actually, on the Patreon. I made a little mini documentary of that situation, which will be up very soon. But I. What was the. The lectures went great. The small. I love small towns, right? So to spend a week in a small town is like I. I am in heaven. There was, like a thousand people there. One great diner that everyone. It was like basically Grand Central Station. Everyone goes there, and the food was so good.

[A]

What you get?

[B]

I. Weirdly. Weirdly, I want. Because, you know, before I speak, I don't like to go heavy, so I want. I want to be light and lively. So I got a Greek salad. Normally, I would not recommend doing that in a small town of a thousand. However, it was incredible. Lots of. Very generous with the Kalemallow.

[A]

Spread everywhere you get out there.

[B]

They did, they did. In fact, I think ethnic food is always a good bet in small towns, in my opinion. But Eric, what was really fun and special about this weekend is I went ghost hunting in this place at night with some professional. I mean, I'm using that in quotes. Ghost hunters, ghost investigators. And it was genuinely very scary. Very, very.

[A]

You don't get scared much.

[B]

I don't get scared much. But this place was very vibed out. People had all kinds of instruments, EMF readers, dousing rods, ghost boxes, and like little things would pop up. One ghost called me a.

[A]

No, call me a serious.

[B]

We went into a room where supposedly. How did it know? I don't. They said before I was like one of the few males on this little thing. It was mostly these wonderful women and they were like, hey, so be warned before we go into this room. Gracie doesn't like male energy. And I was like, oh, well, you know, I'm friendo female, you know, like

[A]

I. Yeah, you spend your life winning over elderly women.

[B]

Absolutely. That's exactly right. As we've said multiple times, we're in touch with our divine feminine. But we went in there, they were running instruments. And then they said. They said something to the effect some kind of question like, what do you think about the man in the room? And then all of a sudden it goes, bitch. And so I got called out for being a bitch by a disincarnate voice, which is a first. Checked off the bucket list.

[A]

How many people can say that, though?

[B]

Not many.

[A]

I'm going to be honest. I love you, but she had you pegged.

[B]

She had me pegged. I mean, I am a bitch. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

That's why. That's why we do the show together.

[B]

I'm catty, you know what I'm saying?

[A]

Oh, please. I'm the yenta of Glassell Park. Yeah, please.

[B]

But it was a great experience. I will say. I've always been kind of like a little bit like. I mean, look, I was very. I'm very skeptical about like whether we were actually communicating with non human intelligence. I know.

[A]

If it called you a bitch, I think you were, I think.

[B]

Right, you think? That's the. That's the science. That's the.

[A]

I think you just proved ghosts, man. How else would it have known? So were the EMF readers going off like in Ghostbusters and the dousing rods,

[B]

you know, on the bottom floor we got like a lot of action. And in the bottom FL is. I had been to this place one time during the day on a hot July day. And I was very scared during the day, very sweaty. There was not a lot of AC in this house, and insulation is questionable. But I. There is this one hallway where people and two people who I know personally, who I really believe that they experienced this to their knowledge, not saying what it was, but there is this shadow figure, like a shadow man that chases people out. And so I actually went down and sat by myself in this dark hallway. Couldn't see my hand in front of my face, and sat down there and waited for the shadow person to come. And it was the scariest, like, four minutes of my life. I was terrified.

[A]

Did you see anything?

[B]

No, I saw nothing. I found out.

[A]

See, you know me, I would not do that. I would not invite it in. I'm terrified of shadow figures. I used to see them in my sleep and I thought they were trying to kill me. And then my friend Tegan told me to not take Benadryl.

[B]

Yeah, Benadryl makes the hat man come.

[A]

It truly did. It was terrifying. And I had recurring nightmares and night terrors, and I run around. Then I quit taking Benadryl. And it's the difference. Hydramine, hci. So thank you, Tegan Quinn.

[B]

Yeah, there's like, yeah, there's like Reddit threads about people taking their. About people reporting their Benadryl experiences. First off, do not take Benadryl to trip out and see the hat band, folks.

[A]

That is a warning, allergy ridden soul. There is nettles. But, like, I would see these terrifying shadow figures that were trying to, like, steal my breath when I slept. Years. And then finally Tegan's like, do you take Benadryl? I'm like, oh, yeah, I take it to sleep and for allergies. And they went away. But I. What happened in that house, Steve, that it's so haunted?

[B]

Well, it was an old care center. A lot of people. I think there's been 200 confirmed. Yeah. And it used to be. It started out.

[A]

It started out way I'd go.

[B]

Started out as a funeral parlor, was a funeral parlor in the 1860s, and then got turned into, like, a care center for like, like, people with, like, psychological disorders like tuberculosis and stuff. But.

[A]

Oh, what are you doing, dude? Don't you ever worry that those shadow figures and ghosts will follow you? Like, I would never walk in there.

[B]

My wife worries about that. I don't, because I'm like, well, that would be great because I could bring it home and then I could study it, so.

[A]

Oh, God, no. Yeah, you're so much Braver than I am. You.

[B]

You know, at the end of the

[A]

day, you're actually not really a that goes lied. I am. I'm so scared. I'd never go back. That ghost lied. I wouldn't even say anything bad about that ghost. That's how scared I really.

[B]

We really came full circle on this, you know?

[A]

You.

[B]

At first, you thought the ghost was riding the money about call me a. And then you saw a reason and saw that I'm a brave, valiant soldier.

[A]

Yeah, much braver than I in the

[B]

world of the paranormal.

[A]

Much braver than I. I'm scared of spiders.

[B]

Well, my friend.

[A]

All right, Steve, we got some amazing calls today. Are you ready to get into it, you little bitch?

[B]

Hell, yes. Okay, E. Dang it. We'll talk off the air. Never call me.

[A]

Sorry. The ghost started it. I'm just gonna finish it. But we have some truly incredible calls today, and we can't wait to get into it. So without any further ado. It's weird here to the hell.

[B]

Don't you ever call me a little bitch again.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Bitch. Well, my friend, welcome to Weird Hair to Help, starring Eric Edelstein and. And your little buddy, Steven Berg. Could you tell us what your name is, where you're calling from, and your favorite book, movie, TV show and album?

[C]

Sure. Okay. So my name is Beatrice. I am calling from Minnesota.

[B]

Where in Minnesota, if you don't mind?

[C]

I'm just the suburbs of the Twin Cities.

[A]

Oh, I love it there. I love it.

[B]

I am a massive Minneapolis fan. St. Paul. I love it. Who's Kerdu? The Replacements. Two of my favorite bands of all time. The people couldn't be nicer. It's gorgeous. Great. You have a lot of Wendigo sightings. Yeah, it's great.

[A]

Have you ever had breakfast or lunch at French Meadow? No, friend. It's so good. And I'm going to say this. This is going to be controversial. To my brothers and sisters and themselves in the Northwest, Minnesota is the friendliest people on the planet. And it's. They're the kindest, nicest, best people. I went there and visited my good buddy Scott Sayerdes. Everybody go to Mill City Sound, his record store. But when I first went there, I was so confused by how genuinely wonderful everyone was there. And I looked it up and I found the Prince quote, the cold keeps the assholes out. And I sure think that's true. Yep, that's the match to Minnesota right there. Oh, yeah.

[B]

So, Beatrice, first off, I love your name. Beautiful name. Yeah. Talk to me about Some of your pop culture thingies. You know, book, album, tv, movie, that

[C]

kind of stuff can do. So I feel like this. I feel like I should answer Prince, but I'm not going to. So please don't come for me.

[A]

I shook his hand once. One day, I'm going to finally tell the story on our first Unk show. But, yeah, you're allowed to. You could also say Bob Dylan. He's from Hibbing.

[C]

That's true. I could say all those. But I'm not going to say. I'm going to say the greatest. The Greatest Hits by abba.

[B]

I love Abba unabashedly. They're great.

[C]

Yes, yes. Books. This might be cheating, but I'm gonna say the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Hobbit. I just have to have them all.

[A]

It's allowed. You're allowed that. This is your world, friend. We're just inhabiting it today.

[B]

Love those books.

[C]

Thank you. Thank you. And then TV show Schitt's Creek, hands down.

[B]

Okay, so great.

[A]

Oh, we miss Catherine o'.

[B]

Hare.

[A]

Schitt's Creek ruled. Finally, they let Seabiscuit out of the stable and let him run the great Chris Elliott. Schitt's Creek. And more Canadian television, please.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

More Canada. Everything.

[A]

Minnesota is, like, Canada adjacent. I feel like. Like the Northwest is kind of. But there's like, a very shared. You know, it's cold. They're funny. They're legends. We love it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, they're legends. They also. They also have a signature kind of pocket sandwich called the pasty. Have you ever had a pasty, Beatrice?

[C]

No. I feel like you're putting me to shame.

[B]

That's okay. That's okay. I haven't heard.

[A]

What about the other Minnesota things? What do they call it, Beatrice? Is it hot plate? Everybody has their own hot plate. And it's like, hot dish. Hot dish, yes. Steve, do you know about hot dish?

[B]

Is it like a tater tot situation?

[A]

It's made for you.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

What's in it? Beatrice, sell Steve on a hot dish. Cause I know he'd love it.

[C]

If you're gonna go for, like, your classic tater tot hot dish, it's tater tots, usually ground beef, some kind of vegetable, like carrots, peas, et cetera. And then a mystery cream, usually cream of mushroom, something of that sort.

[B]

That sounds intense. I'll tell you what, that stick to your ribs, Midwest fare right there. I am all about that kind of cuisine. I'm not good at cooking it. I have a little experience, but Boy, would I destroy a plate of hot dish right about now.

[C]

It might destroy you, too, but.

[B]

Yeah, it might. I have a sensitive belly in my own.

[A]

You had him in mystery cream. He's yours.

[B]

Yeah, careful with the mystery cream.

[A]

Combine together the meat, the potatoes, some hot dishes have cheese on top. Everybody has their own version of it. Like, it's part of what makes Minnesota the best.

[B]

Yeah, it really is. No, no, Beatrice, I'm sure you didn't call in to regale us with the stories of hot dishes and whatnot. Well, if you did, that's fine, too, because we can chat about that for 20 minutes, no problem. But, sister, is there an issue that you think my cohort Double E and I can help you with? I've never called you double E. I like it.

[A]

It felt good. It felt natural. You're crushing today, Steve. If I had a gradient, it makes me sad. Like 7 out of 10.

[B]

It's like a walking bra. A bra there. Like a what? Anyways, never. Never mind.

[A]

All right, we're down to nine. Three. Beatrice, he's plunging. I have no idea what he's. You said hot dish, and now he can' of anything else.

[B]

And now. Yeah, I know. Like, I'm so. I'm confused right now. But seriously, Beatrice, how can we help you today, my friend?

[C]

Yeah, okay, so let me give you a little context, because context is important.

[B]

It sure is.

[C]

Okay, so one. The first thing to note is that my boss is retiring in about three weeks. Okay.

[B]

Okay. Is that good? Off the bat. Off the bat, is that good?

[C]

It's great.

[A]

Probably not listening to the show. I think we're safe here. Yeah, we're putting him in a canoe on the river with a bottle of Bo in a hot dish and saying, you've done your job. Float off.

[B]

Bye. And then we find out the boss has one of my calendars on their. On the refrigerator. So, you know, you never know.

[A]

In that case, we love you. Stop that canoe. Come back in.

[C]

We.

[A]

We're lost without your friend.

[B]

We love you, boss, and we need you. Okay, I'm sorry. Please continue.

[C]

Okay, so a little bit about the situation. I was at work travel, and as part of the work travel, we went out for a dinner, because that's what you do as a team. And we chose the classiest place. We went to the Cheesecake Factory in a mall.

[B]

Large menu. Everyone wins.

[A]

Once. Blew out my sciatica picking up their menu.

[C]

Yeah, that's right. Yes, yes. So we sat down, we're there, we finished dinner. We're in between Dessert and, you know, dinner and dessert. And my boss says, I would like to practice my medium work. And she puts her hands out, palms up. She closes her eyes. She gets ready to call forth the spirit.

[A]

No.

[C]

And my coworker that's sitting next to her, her eyes just like explode. She's a fairly religious person, the co worker. Her eyes explode. She looks at me and she's like, hey, can we please go to the mall just to get something for my husband? And I'm like, sure, let's go. And so she has to awkwardly interrupt my boss as she's trying to call down the spirit to scooch past her in the booth.

[A]

No.

[C]

So she gets out, we escape into the mall. We're out there for maybe 15 minutes. We come back and my boss is livid. She's pissed. And I'm like, hey, what's wrong? Were we gone too long? And she's like, yes. And she beelines it for the car. We all beeline it behind her. The next two days are really awkward. It's just silent treatment. We can come. So then Monday, I get called into a meeting with her, and she proceeds to tell me that my behavior at the work travel dinner was inappropriate because I left the dinner and I didn't have a return time. And. Okay. Oh, I don't know if I mentioned this. She's my HR manager, so I'm an hr. She's my HR manager.

[A]

She's an hr.

[B]

Incredible.

[A]

She's an HR manager trying to summon spirits at the Cheesecake Factory. You know what? Long may she run. I'm seeing why she's retiring. This is legend behavior, but isn't anything I don't want to be around. But like, we have to acknowledge we run across a really, you have to acknowledge legend behavior. This is an all timer, like, Beatrice, congrats. You're already in the top five calls and we're only eight minutes in. Like, don't let that go to your head. But like, this is amazing insane behavior.

[C]

Right?

[B]

It's why corporate America won't have me, because I would do the same thing.

[A]

But Steve, if you did it, you would make sure everyone around you was comfortable.

[C]

Oh, yeah, right.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I mean, like, because, like, look, when you're delving into the dark arts or seances or occultism or esotericism, it is not. You should never force anyone or put anyone in position where they're feeling bad about not participating in a ritual because that sans is a ritual. You're all agreeing to do a separate protocol to try to create an event.

[A]

Go back to that word, Steve. You're all agreeing. You're great.

[D]

Exactly.

[A]

Asking consent. And let me just tell you. So I'll call a caller out. I don't care. You did the most perfect HR thing ever. You got that person that was uncomfortable out of there. You took him to Hot Topic to footlocker Cinnabon, probably got him a couple mini bonds and a mocha. Lot of chill and like handled that situation with grace and decorum. I hope you're taking over your boss's job because out the gates, your behavior was perfect and your boss is crazy. Check her crawl space. I bet there's at least a couple people up there, maybe still alive.

[B]

I'm going to add a caveat to that. I'm going to say your boss. Because Eric, we acknowledge this legend behavior. Yeah, in a lot of respects is crazy awesome. Because like, like, here's where the boss.

[A]

This lady was this cake factory Steven.

[B]

Let's call her Meredith for cheesecake.

[A]

So Meredith.

[B]

Right, right. Right on its face. On paper, what Meredith did is one of the coolest things I have ever heard in my life. However, if you are. If you are going to be mad at someone for not participating in a magical ritual at a public space, then you're. You probably shouldn't be using mediumship or any kind of magical skills because like, first off, you're being selfish. You're forcing people into bending randomness without the consent. And I don't think that's cool.

[A]

What she should have done. Said, guys, I know you know, I'm retiring. I'm going to try to be a medium. I'm going all in. If anybody wants to, you're going to get free dessert right now. Anyone? Not the mall's right over there. Go crazy. Go to footlocker. But to put that on people. Cause I'll say this, and I know I got a reputation for being hippie woo woo. I've never done a Ouija board. I won't go near a Ouija board. Steve teases me and threatens to bring Ouija boards to my home. And I don't want it.

[B]

My wife won't even let me use mine.

[A]

No.

[B]

I'm a Ouija board pariah over here.

[A]

I had nine years of Catholic school and it stuck. And I won't go near those things. And for somebody to do that and also to ruin. You know, we may make jokes about the large menu. I've never had a bad meal at the Cheesecake Factory when I was starving. Well, I've never Really been starving, let's be honest. When I had no money, my parents would come to town and they would take Derek Waters and I to the Cheesecake Factory. And it was every single time. We would put on the calendar and look forward to it so much. They never should have taken the Mile High meatloaf off the menu. We should do a seance for that. That was bad.

[B]

I love meatloaf.

[A]

But you just. I think you already know. You handled this perfectly. But what did your boss say to you in that meeting afterward? Cause to me that should have been an apology being from her and saying, thank you for saving my ass. But this is someone that's quitting. It's not afraid about hr.

[C]

Yeah, right. Because like, so that's my question is like, do I report her? Right? Or do I just let it go under the bridge because she's retiring three weeks.

[B]

Can I ask you a question about that? Let me ask you a question about that because that's what I was just thinking about. It's like, you're about ready to move up in the world, right? And I think you have been kind of dealt a shitty card by this whole situation because it is a quandary. Like, what do I do? I think a lot of times I would be like, you know what? They're retiring in three weeks. Maybe they're going through a weird phase and they're panicking because they don't know what to do with their life and their time after they retire. I'll let bygones be bygones. However, you're in the middle or starting your career and if you, I mean, like, part of your job is to report inappropriate behavior. Am I right?

[C]

Uh huh. Uh huh. Yeah, Absolutely.

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Berg understands what HR is.

[B]

I was, by the way, that was a shot in the dark. I wasn't sure.

[A]

I'm glad he got it right. I'm glad you nailed it. It would have been bad for the

[B]

POD to me, I'm looking after my own. You're in the middle. You have a long career ahead of you. And, and also I think the higher ups are gonna respect that you don't fear a boss. And like, you could even kind of say, like, like, look, here's the reality situation. Meredith tried to do a sentence at the cheese factory.

[A]

It's just a fun sentence to say,

[B]

which is so fucking fun to say. I can say it all day. Right? And like, and like, we acknowledge, like, caveat said, like, this is legend behavior on paper. This is one of the coolest things a boss could ever do. But for you, you've been put in a difficult position. If I'm you, I report it. Because if I'm the boss, I feel like. You know what? Beatrice is not scared of, like seniority and stuff like that. Something inappropriate happened and she had the guts to report it right away. Like, that's just my take.

[A]

Here's my take, Steve. I'm about two things. I'm about no snitches. I'm about no narcs. I don't think you need.

[B]

But you're an HR dude.

[A]

Like it doesn't matter. You're leaving in three weeks. I'm about to offer a solution that on the sum is going to seem insane, it's going to seem crazy, and yet I'm in for it. And Steve, I'm so sorry, I think you're going to have to be in for it too. I think you should go to your boss and say, I'm friends with. I'm a friend of a program that dawels in the paranormal and they would love to have you on to do a seance.

[C]

Oh, God.

[A]

They get big numbers. There's a whole buzz. And we will let her come on and cook. And if she wants to do it remotely from a Cheesecake factory, she is welcome to do it. She can get the southwestern egg rolls and talk to the dead. And I will thank her and, you know. Yeah, right, Steve. We'd have her on.

[B]

Well, and here's the thing, Beatrice. We have two. We have something in common. I have also broken bread with a psychic medium. I'm not joking. Also, she was very pretty. And the whole time I was like worried that she was thinking like, oh, is he like, you know. Anyways, and then. I won't get into that.

[A]

No, I want to. I want to circle back to that. Beatrice, you gotta, if you have a minute. So hold on. No, no, Steve. No, no, no, no. You're stuck in this now. Congrats. You're worried the whole time. Like, I don't want to think she's attractive because she'll know.

[B]

Yeah. So I was like trying to play mine.

[A]

So are you like trying to think of like a pink elephant? Like, don't think she's attracted.

[B]

Exactly. I was like, think about baseball. Think about George Brett. You know, like, think about like.

[A]

I think it's highly sexual to think about George. He inspired the song Royals because he's such an erotic good looking guy in those powder blue.

[B]

Really?

[A]

No, we're not leaving this. Sorry, buddy. Was there a vibe between you two?

[B]

There wasn't. She was married, I'm married, and there was two other people there, but we were having a conversation, getting to know each other, blah, blah. I never met her. And we were at a Bigfoot conference. Of course.

[D]

And

[B]

which is. Which is a way I spend my time sometimes.

[A]

But we're not here to judge. Offer this lunatic legend a spot on the show. Steve is getting sweaty.

[B]

I felt like. I felt like I was being.

[A]

His forehead is sweating underneath that fantastic head of hair.

[B]

Well, it's, you know, it's.

[C]

My husband will say grandma butt to help him calm down.

[B]

Oh, that's a good one.

[A]

Take that.

[B]

Did you say he'll think about his grandma's butt?

[C]

Well, to calm down.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that works.

[B]

Is that how you beat a polytime?

[A]

You find yourself insanely attracted to a psychic or a Bigfoot researcher. You think about your grandma's, but you think Beatrice's husband.

[B]

Thank you, Mr. Beatrice.

[A]

This is why we need HR involvement in our show. Yeah, I don't think we need. We need to tell on her. With three weeks left, I think we need to, like, keep it clean and, like, here. Want to create an enemy.

[B]

Here's the thing, though. This could not be.

[A]

Or if you do it, say it in a funny way.

[B]

Okay, I. Eric, you know what? Like, on paper, I totally agree with you. The only thing I think about is if I'm. If I'm just hired someone to do Beatrice's job, and then they were around a very red flagged, egregious, like, you know, foul in the HR world, and they didn't report that because there was other employees there. I mean, it might get back to Jim Bob who's running the whole company, and Jim Bob's gonna be like, dude, why don't you tell me that? Like, Meredith did a seance at the Cheesecake Factory. You know, like, are you. I'm worried about. I'm more worried about you than I am Meredith. Meredith is retiring. She's gonna go be a psychic medium at Casadega in upstate New York and love her life. But you have a long career ahead of you in the HR game. And I think, like, if you start this new position with overlooking something just because it's a superior. I don't know, like, I guess if I was Jim Bob and I ran the company, I'd be like, you know what? That's badass. You had the guts to come to me about this. She should not have been trying to summon the dead. She's gay. Factory in a mall. I mean, like, call me crazy, call me a stickler to the rules, but I believe that is in that. I believe that's in the bylaws. Page 42 Z49 line no seances in chain restaurants.

[A]

That's gotta be.

[C]

We have to put it in the company.

[A]

Yeah, we have to. Now, going forward. Now, here's the question I have because. And I have a million questions. I could talk to you for an hour about this because it's such legend behavior, which you did, but did you get a report on how the seance went after you left?

[C]

Okay, so I didn't. But here's the thing. A little backstory. I've been with this organization for about three years. The first month I started, we were on a work trip in Chicago and she did a one on one seance with me. Just dove right on in.

[B]

She's a freaky weirdo. I love this.

[A]

Yeah. Steve's gonna have to think about his grandma's butt when we have her on the air. Yeah,

[B]

yeah, yeah.

[A]

How did the one on one seance go?

[B]

Is she a silver box?

[C]

Well, yeah. So personally, I don't believe anything she said because she seemed to rehearsed and, like, she kind of says the same thing. And also, it's just not my Pete.

[A]

Not even good.

[B]

Not even good.

[A]

Medium. Yeah, yeah. She's not a medium. She's a low.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I just kind of like hummed and hawed my way through it because I'd only been on with, like, she had only been my manager at that point for about a month. So, like, what the hell do I do?

[B]

That is also.

[A]

Beatrice. It's so great. It's so fun. If you saw the movie, you'd be like, this is not real. What was wrong with that writer?

[B]

This is why I love life. Unfortunately, I think we've kind of come to this place where Eric and I are at a bit of a crossroads, which doesn't happen often. I am 100% for you. And, like, look, you wouldn't think I'm gonna like Steve. Oh, you're the guy who's into the weird stuff.

[A]

Snitches get stitches.

[B]

But however I'm looking at.

[A]

But it's hr.

[B]

But it's HR that literally, you're right. The job.

[A]

Can you do it in kind of a funny conversational way? Like, look, we love this legend. She's leaving, I think. I don't want it to be awkward when I'm eating. I'm assuming she's going to have a goodbye party with Hot dish. Because Minnesota. I don't want that to be awkward for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe we can kind of meld the two. I think Steve's probably right. And Steve is better at day jobs than. I was shut down by the Health Department. You. You were. You were good. Barnes and old employee.

[B]

I was pretty good.

[A]

What. What if you did it in, like, a kind of a whimsical, fun way of, like, look, some legend shit went down to the Cheesecake Factory. I know she's leaving, but just so you know, because that's also taking care of your.

[B]

Your employees.

[A]

Religious coworker who should feel comfortable at work. That was a major, major league intrusion. Breach. Insanity. And for your boss to get mad that you took her out of the situation. What you did was perfect. HR behavior means your boss is truly crazy and truly very welcome to come on here for a special episode.

[B]

We're actually big fans of this lady.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, this is the funniest shit ever.

[B]

All jokes aside, like, if I was writing a screenplay, like, the next thing I ever write, if I ever write anything again, I will absolutely put that scene in there. I'm stealing that because it's one of the funniest. People wouldn't believe it.

[A]

No, they wouldn't believe it. It's so crazy.

[B]

Yeah, it's so crazy.

[A]

It's so crazy. It's hard to ruin a meal at the Cheesy. I do think on that menu, there's something for everyone.

[B]

I agree. Great. And I think Eric kind of nailed it. I think, like, I think you do turn her in, but you soft shoe it and kind of, like, with a smile and a little bit of a giggle under your breath, like, so this is what happened. Pam got a little uncomfortable because she's an evangelical or whatever and, like, had to go to Pepperidge Farm to, like, go buy some summer sausage.

[A]

She went to seize candy, just got a bunch of fudge. She got so much fudge, we let her get extra. I'm actually now turning her in because. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You don't have. You're not, like, you know, the police here. But, like, I do think you could do it in a way. Kind of like how Eric. Eric was pitching where you're kind of giving it a little bit of a soft shoe. It's like this funny thing happened, you know? And then I think your boss probably, like, all right, we're gonna let it go. She's gone three weeks. Just kind of grin and bear it. But thank you for telling me. I'm glad I hired the Right Person. Oh, that, that's my take.

[A]

I'm a lot like Pac. I got a big Tupac streak of me. I don't like snitching, but I think this is the rare time. I think it helps you and it also, your poor coworker was made to feel very uncomfortable.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we want to acknowledge and allow anyone's religion, and that is truly insane behavior.

[B]

Yeah, it should cause satanic panic in the religious co worker.

[A]

I mean, my God, we want to, we want to take care of that person. So I think for this I'm going to let my inner Tupac go and say, let's snitch in a funny way.

[B]

In a funny way.

[A]

Which, Beatrice, you already have such a great way of pitching this.

[B]

You do.

[A]

And I think you do it with a little rye smile already and it will all work out great. And then just have a giant smile on your p. On your face. Bring a nice, bring a nice hot dish for her going away party and then let her know if she wants it, she has a place to do a seance right here with us. And I will have to mute my video to keep from laughing a whole lot because this person is a next level nut. When I hear about someone like this, I applaud them that they've been able to survive this long in this crazy world, being that insane that it took until three weeks before she retired to truly go off the deep end. But retirement's scary. She might be having weird retirement.

[B]

I'm wondering that too.

[A]

I also will think people pass away when they retire because they're not challenged anymore. Maybe she's looking for an amazing new challenge, but I personally do not believe she can summon the dead. But there's only one way to find out. Right here on Weird Here now.

[B]

That's right. Bring her on. Put your money where your mouth is. I would say in the interest of science and research. Ask the other co workers who were at the fans once you left, what went down? Line by line, detail by detail. If you, if you could find out what actually happened in the fans, we love to have you back on. Because like, yes, while the mechanics of us helping you are, are fun with this call. The setup for this call is. I don't know we'll ever be beat. I, I truly and I mean that like the set. A forced seance by your boss at the Cheesecake Factory on paper is the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life and is such like, Guinness Book like legend behavior like Eric said that we Want more. Game recognizes game. And I have a lot of respect for this woman.

[A]

Crazy recognizes crazy.

[B]

Crazy. Okay, maybe that's what it is. But please find out what happened and if you can report back to us. I'm curious.

[A]

We need at least one follow up. I feel like this could be a whole.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Spinoff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We need to know what went down at that seance. It's, like, crucial to our show.

[B]

It really is. It really is. So find out what happened there and then whatever you decided with. With, you know, addressing this with your boss, we'd love to know. So please, like, I think this would be a great one for a follow up. So if you wouldn't mind, like, you know, doing what you got to do, you know, get this under your belt, start in your position, but call back and tell us what actually happened at the fans and then how it went, turning her in.

[C]

All right, I'll. I'll think about it. I'm not committing.

[B]

No, no, no, you don't have to.

[A]

That's the HR response. That's a level of discipline.

[B]

Look at that, look at that, look at that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I like it. But let us know. Think about. Meditate on it. Think about what you do. But either way, we need to know what went down at that seance and let her know, for her new career as a medium, she's got a jumping off point on a semi hit podcast. We're ready for her.

[C]

She'll be thrilled.

[A]

Okay, done. Done.

[B]

We also would love to, like, if I'm you, I go so deep into this. I would, like, go back to the Cheese Egg trajectory and try to find the server and go, is this something you've seen before? Like, like, what was you. Did you notice that Fans was being done? By the way, was there an apparition of a weird old man, like, you know, lingering about later in the evening? Oh, yeah, I. Yeah, I have to know what happened. Like, I'm so curious. And if you don't want to come back on, just write it in an email, please. Beatrice, I. I'm begging you gotta know.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Thank you so much for sharing this. You truly made our day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is one of the greatest. This. This call is what we're all about.

[B]

Yep, Yep. Thank you so much, friend.

[C]

Glad to hear it. I aim to please.

[B]

All right, have a good one, Beatrice.

[A]

Rock, you gave us a gift.

[B]

All right, Beatrice. Thanks so much, buddy.

[E]

Yes. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. If you want to know what's great about Squarespace, Gareth Reyn tell them about your website.

[D]

Well, every I, I keep building different websites because it's so easy with Squarespace, but I, I've been working with Squarespace for a while. Could not be more user friendly. They make it very easy and your website looks great. And we've built multiple websites on this show because it's so easy. They really, they help you find the domain, they help you get by the

[E]

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like, where do I find the blank in the blank?

[E]

Well, go to heretohelppod.com which is a squarespace website to get all the answers you need. Squarespace gives you everything you need. It's got cutting edge design.

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[E]

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You can put content on there. There's also is the SEO tools which for a while I just kept saying it and I didn't know what it was, but I don't know what it is. I'm gonna tell you. It's search engine optimization. So it's like if someone's looking for what you provide, they help you get higher in the search, which can be huge.

[A]

That's cool.

[B]

I think optimization's good.

[A]

There you go.

[D]

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[E]

So check out squarespace.com Gil sent me. Ah, Ms. Gil. Can we get a taste of Gil Buchanan reading the end of this copy?

[D]

Jake Johnson SEO Tools. Talk about being left behind in the search. That would be Gilbyu Canada. An island by himself. Things are still going good. I've been talking into a microphone, but it's actually a shoe. I'm still in the closet waiting for someone to come find me.

[E]

But actually, Gil, it looks like your microphone is not plugged in.

[B]

Brother.

[D]

Sorry. So sorry. I didn't understand how that was. Anyway, Squarespace slash. Gil sent me.

[A]

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[A]

Caller. Hello, friend. You are live on the air. We're here to help. We want to help you. What's your name and where are you calling from? And if you want to give us a fake name and location, that's fine too.

[F]

Hi, I'm Carrie and I'm calling from Philadelphia.

[A]

Ooh, hi, Kerry.

[B]

The City of Brotherly Love.

[A]

Philadelphia here. It's awesome.

[F]

It is. It's a great time.

[A]

I've been to shows at the Tower Theater, great food. The other thing. Carrie, I hate to bust you Philly folks. Some of the friendliest people I've ever met. I think the whole City of Brotherly Love thing is real. Batteries on. I keep it quiet. We like you. You showed respect. But Philadelphia is awesome. I love going there. I always say if I got like a long term gig in New York, I'd live in Philly. Just take that train, hang out the legends. Try to live in the neighborhood where David Lynch's old house is.

[B]

Yeah, in the Phillies. They got great uniforms. I mean, no, there's a lot of good things about it. My wife went to college there. She loves great ballpark too.

[A]

And Philadelphia fans are amazing.

[B]

Carrie, case you a very serious. And this question would be. I'm gonna need, if you wouldn't mind telling us, if you would tell us what your favorite movie slash premium TV show is, favorite book and favorite album are just so we can get a handle on who you are.

[F]

It's a great question, one I was expecting, but that didn't help. I would say my. Well, my favorite. I'm not a big movie person, I'm a TV person. And it shifts all the time. But right now I've been doing a lot of American Dad. Really enjoy it. I never got into it when I was like, I don't know, a little younger. And it's just, it's so much fun. So I've had a lot of fun.

[B]

It's hitting now. I like it. Respect.

[A]

Look, I'm not trying to be that guy. And yet I've been dragged into being that guy. You want to see Mayor Woodside and American Dad? It's the big guy. It's me. I've done about seven or eight episodes. It is so much fun. And they're the nicest crew in town, but it is a blast. But you know, get lost. In my episodes of American dad especially, I highly encourage me.

[B]

That goes for all you listeners out there, right? Yeah.

[A]

All right. We love American dad because they've paid me. So that's. You're one for one, friend. You're one for one. Now give us an album and a book. And preferably involving me too. I'd be thrilled.

[F]

So let me think. So my book. Are you familiar with Storyworth? This isn't technically a book, but are you familiar with Storyworth?

[B]

No.

[F]

It's where you give like a grandparent or someone in your life, like basically prompts and then it compiles into a book.

[B]

Oh.

[F]

And so I have that like partially completed from my grandma and my. My grandfather's working on one now, so that'd probably be one that I would always want to have with me.

[B]

Oh, that's sweet. I love that. What a cool idea.

[A]

And I'm so glad he, my dad did that. He has such good stories. It's so cool you're having your grandparents do that. And I kind of now think every other book that every other person's given is. Is second tier because you are going to carry the love of your elders with you. And that's awesome. You know, we love elders on this show especially. We're here to help, but we're here to help as a pro elder. Pro 90 year old experience. So we are. We are accepting Storyworth from you and applauding it and then give us an album.

[F]

Yeah. So probably Purgatory. Tyler Childers, you're familiar.

[B]

Oh, sure. We like Tyler Childers here.

[F]

Love.

[A]

Have you seen him live, friend?

[F]

Yes, I saw him here in Philly and then I'm gonna see him more in like central Pennsylvania this summer.

[B]

Hell yeah.

[A]

That's awesome. We're in central Pennsylvania.

[F]

Hershey, you know, they have the big Hershey.

[B]

Yeah, I hear Hershey.

[A]

Hershey's great. I've been to Hershey many times. The World International Dog Grooming Convention is in Hershey, Pennsylvania. And Steve, imagine a town that revolves around chocolate.

[B]

Yes, please.

[A]

And gets the best live music bands. Bob Dylan's played there. But we want to give a big shout out to Barkley. Doing incredible things in the world of dogs. And we love the World Dog Grooming Expo in Hershey, PA. About Hershey. Also seeing someone country like Tyler that fights the good fight. Hershey's the place to go. You get a little bit out there, you'll get people coming in from the sticks. And Tyler is amazing. One of the best live shows in

[B]

the Planet, I will also add about central Pennsylvania is a hotbed for UFOs and Bigfoot to be seen in conjunction with each other, especially in 1973 and 1974. But Carrie, that is not what you're calling about. I'm guessing might be. If it is, I can certainly help.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

Well, Carrie, talk to us, sister. What's going on? How can we help you?

[F]

Yeah, so I currently work, you know, it's a corporate company. We're kind of in like consulting. And I am actually taking on a new role this summer within the company. So I'm going to be doing our event planning, kind of running some of like the day to day operations in terms of kind of like employee experience. And we're a pretty small office, like a pretty young small office. And I just wanted some suggestions or ideas of how to kind of bring some, some whimsy back into the 9 to 5, you know, like, I think almost planning some of the big events are kind of the easier part, you know, when it's like a whole day spent somewhere fun. But I think just little day to day, you know, like in school you'd have like spirit week and things like that. Like just little things that aren't going to take. Take too much time out of someone's day, but just make the day a little more fun.

[A]

I like Stephen, please allow me here because I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give it, I think, an obvious idea. I've been watching Mad Men.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And in Mad Men, those guys are drinking at the office all day. And I think it's a tragedy as a society, we've gotten away from that because they do. They were doing great work at Sterling Cooper. And I think an incredible shortcut to whimsy is a spirit or a beer or wine. So that would be my first big pitch is, you know, one. Okay, maybe not during the day, but having some off site activities where people cut loose, have a couple cocktails, everybody stays. Very appropriate. Of course, this isn't the 50s. We don't want some of that other Don Draper stuff going on. But I think, you know, just for afterward, I think some team bonding, like, oh, go to the Cheesecake Factory. Go to Chili's. Go to Fridays, like some cheesecake.

[B]

The shittiest places, like chain places, Chicken Crisp. Yeah. Go get a Bud Light at ihop.

[A]

Shout out to the Chili's at the Tulsa airport. They're such good people. I mean, I think first off, you got to start with having people spend some time outside the office together is so much fun. One.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

And then, boy, when I was watching Mad Men, I just can't believe how much booze people are drinking at work.

[B]

Yeah. And so. And you're looking for, like, little. Little things to, like, generally lift the energy of the office. So I. I hear you like doing these event days. Like, hey, we're all gonna go do a play paintball together, you know, at Joe's Paintball Shack down in Shreveport. That's fun, of course, but, like, I like Eric's idea of adding, like, maybe once a month. I would do it also on a Thursday. Maybe, like, the last, like, you know, just little bit of work. Like, you can. You can. You could, like, cut work the last half hour of the day, and then, like, you know, have some, like, margaritas, something like that. And then, you know, if people want to go to, you know, Shawnee o' Hallahan's down the street afterwards and keep the party going.

[A]

And they do. And they do.

[B]

That would be good. I would not do it on a Friday, because Friday people want to leave and go the fuck home. They want to.

[A]

Oh, that's not.

[B]

To get home and get their weekend started. But Thursday is kind of like that. It's like a spicy Friday. You know, it's like you're feeling kind of wild. Like, Thursday, like, I don't drink a ton anymore, but Thursday is my favorite day to have beers. If I'm doing that. There's something about Thursdays. It's a magical day.

[A]

But I'm the other thing. Steve, I like that idea of spirit week. Like, I think if that's your first idea, I think spirit week sounds awesome. And what if you guys all dressed for, like, a Phillies game? Or if it's Friday and the Eagles have a big old game, have everybody do the ultimate casual Friday. You come in and Randall Cunningham Jersey and never look back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, doesn't that sound. I mean, I think, you know, sometimes the subconscious is an amazing thing. You said spirit week. Bring back spirit week. That was so fun in high school.

[B]

I want to throw something. It's a little angular out there, but what? Like, look, when I think of Philadelphia, I'll be honest, I think of Benjamin Franklin. I think Ben Franklin. What if you held a Benjamin Franklin, like, impression contest one Friday afternoon? Maybe, you know, you bring out some. Some, you know, alcoholic seltzers, some high noons or white claws, whatever. And then everyone. The people who want to participate are gonna, like, do, like, a Benjamin Franklin monologue with, like, the little, like, funny glasses and stuff like that.

[F]

That would be fun. Or even if, like, it was, like, you know, you have to recite something of, like, your favorite Philly person. I mean, there's so many.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Cause I don't know if I could

[F]

do a Benjamin Franklin impersonation. I could hold up a key, but

[B]

I don't think that's good, though.

[A]

That's it. Just don't. Don't take it outside. Messing around. Like. Yeah, we're not legally buying the incredible Philly legends from Allen Iverson to David lynch. That I think having a Philadelphia. So let's get in the weeds a little bit. What kind of business is this? Like, what are you guys making? What are you guys doing?

[B]

Yeah, what kind of beeswax is happening here?

[F]

Yeah, I mean, it's. It's kind of, like business consulting adjacent. So I don't know.

[B]

What does that mean? What does that mean? Like, I. I hear. Because, like, I'm asking. Because I'm. I'm. I'm a dumb actor. I just do make them up for a living.

[F]

We, like, advise, like, other companies are our clients, and we will advise, like, strategic decision making in terms of, like, marketing or, like, talent acquisition. It's.

[B]

I got you.

[F]

Yeah. Very good business.

[B]

Yeah, that's straight up beeswax right there. I want to think of some other, like. I wonder if they're like, this sounds crazy, but, like, what if you got, like, a gaming system? Like, maybe an Xbox or a PlayStation, and you had some, like, dumb games that everyone could play. Not like John Madden Football. Yes, exactly.

[A]

Yes. Mario Kart, goldeneye, James Bond.

[B]

That would be so much fun. And then you have, like, prizes, you know, like, oh, my God, this guy gets a gift card. Or this gal gets, like, you know, something El. But, like, have, like, little prizes, just like, you know, a competition during your lunch break or. And you could like, even, like, have, like, a March menace bracket. It can go through the whole month.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Create, like, a bracket. And then the grand prize, it doesn't have to be, like, a huge monetary thing. Maybe they get a. Get a free day off.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know if you can make that happen, but, like, maybe I can try. Maybe.

[A]

I think that is a good thing. I think she's being humble.

[B]

Yeah. Or they get to show up for work drunk or, like, like, tripping on acid. It's totally illegal.

[A]

Go for that. Go for that.

[F]

We do have a tv, so that makes it easier.

[B]

You're halfway there.

[A]

Well, if you have a car, if you have a tv, then I think the next great Thing you need to do. Two words. Karaoke lunch.

[B]

Oh, brother.

[A]

With prizes.

[B]

Oh, brother.

[A]

And I think, you know, it doesn't have to be mandatory, but it kind of should be. Everybody has to sing one song because there's a magic about seeing people, they're most vulnerable and what they love the most. And that's music.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And if you started doing a karaoke lunch, and I think we can already tell you have the skills to emcee this and be the ultimate karaoke host. But all these things are steering this onto the path of a very, very fun workplace.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Also, since you do consulting, it might be a hilarious thing to do, you know, consulting cosplay. Like, okay, take a nightmare business situation. How would you consult for Enron in 1994?

[F]

Yeah. Some case studies.

[A]

These other companies. All right. Jack in the Box had a horrible E. Coli thing in the 80s. Everybody give your best pitch for a Jack in the Box. Because they almost closed and they were saved because of business consultants.

[B]

Yeah. The lady who got her lap burned at McDonald's by the hot coffee Classic.

[A]

Yeah. How do you fight back from the hot coffee? And you say everyone, like, okay, we are representing a company that just had somebody's lap burned by hot coffee. Give us your best pitches on Friday. Winner gets a half day off, all that kind of stuff. Are people mostly coming back into the office to work rather than remotely?

[F]

Yeah, we have a couple days remote, but for the most part, we're all pretty present.

[A]

Now, I would say if you have a remote day, you do a show and tell where people show their favorite stuff they have at home. And we get to meet everybody's pets. You all get to know each other so much better. You know, Lee the dog makes quite a few appearances ever because he's a very needy poodle terrier mix. And he'll cry. He's 15. He needs his dad. But I think people like it when Lee makes an appearance on the pod.

[B]

They do.

[A]

You know, he has been mean to Steve before.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He doesn't like Steve.

[B]

He's trying to poison me.

[A]

But, like, all of a sudden, things are a lot more, you know, fun at work. If you're like, man, I saw into this guy's soul because he has this cat that he loves so much.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we're a big pro cat podcast.

[B]

Yeah, we are.

[A]

So I think on those remote days, you do old school show and tell. And just like, I think your idea of Spirit Week is so brilliant, you should straight up do Spirit Week for Philly Sports March Madness. Get Going Villanova Temple, you've got some incredible sports teams there. But like go retro, bring it back to show and tell spirit week, all that kind of stuff. And I think even some people that are maybe a little eye rolly at first, once they're holding their cat or gerbil, they're going to be loving it.

[B]

I love the pet thing is unique in such a great angle, like. And also that's something everyone can participate in. And if you don't have an animal and may inspire them to get one, I will also just say I'm not sure what the petty cash situation is at the old business. You're. You're there.

[A]

Stephen,

[B]

Eric.

[A]

I'm sorry, Warren Buffett.

[B]

I'm sort of getting there. But for like an end of the year blowout blast, I mean, you know, for a southwest flight in a shared room in Philadelphia, you can bring Eric and I out and we'll do a little in office show. Maybe we'll do an act from the true west. You know, do a little.

[A]

Do a little two handed for who plays.

[B]

Yeah, well, maybe we're both, you know, Eric's. Eric's a natural baritone. I'm a natural bass. We harmonize well together. We come sing some Sinatra classics.

[A]

I'll sing Sammy.

[B]

Yeah, we'll. We'll lead everyone. Lead everyone in line dancing. I'm talking about part. We'll go out with everyone one afterwards.

[F]

We'll have Reading Terminal market.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Oh, yeah. And I think off site lunches sounds so fun to me.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Where you just go off site. We're going to look the other way if Don from accounting orders a cocktail. But like there's a whole bunch of fun in that. And I think the thing is, as people are going back to work, we all got pretty darn comfortable at home. For me right now, it's a massive achievement that I am wearing pants and they may not be there for the next.

[B]

Not by choice. It's not by choice.

[A]

I made him put like if you start doing stuff like this to make coming back to work more fun and free meals and contests and spirit week and show and tell when they are working remotely, I think you're really going to build some team building and you're clearly the right person for this job.

[F]

Well, thank you.

[B]

Another easy thing you can do that I honestly think is so fun. And call me like I'm a very Midwest mother like this, but it bring a covered dish day and you have like an appetizer like you know, late afternoon, like, you know, like. Yeah, maybe oh, you know, Carrie brought her famous ambrosia salad. Oh. Oh, look what Toby brought. He brought bruschetta with little crustinis. Like, you know, like.

[A]

Yeah, Steve, a potluck.

[B]

Love a potluck.

[F]

We do a Thanksgiving potluck, but we don't really. We don't really do one anytime else. We could do like, you know, like fourth of July. I feel like that's the time people have potlucks.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's when you have people dress up like Ben Franklin. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

We should have a centennial party. Is it a centennial? Is that what it is? Did it already happen?

[B]

That sounds about right. I think so.

[A]

It's 250 years. What's that called, Steve boy, I'm not. What's that called?

[F]

Something.

[B]

I'm not a math guy.

[A]

It's called something. I'm sad about the state of a Kansas degree and a Gonzaga degree. That neither. Steve. Is it a sesquitennial?

[B]

Maybe that sounds about it.

[A]

Maybe that's a big swing. But yeah, you have to do something because Philadelphia is the birthplace of America. And let me also say this. We're thinking Ben Franklin. That guy was deep into the life. He was boozing, he was swinging. He was having himself a good old time.

[B]

He's also performing dark magic with the Hellfire club.

[A]

Is that true?

[B]

I think it is.

[A]

I don't mind a little bit of dark magic.

[B]

No. I'm pro dark magic.

[A]

No. Have a Ben Franklin day and be like, this is not the Ben Franklin from grade school. Leave your kite. Leave your key at home. We're getting really weir weird.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

We're getting very strange here.

[B]

Make Ben weird again.

[A]

Yeah. Make Ben Franklin weird again. I don't know why we. We went away from it, but he was loving life. He was having a good old time.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Deep in the skin game.

[B]

And he was in the skin train.

[A]

Yeah. And like, you know, obviously we're going to have healthy boundaries for all this stuff, but I think we're really getting an exciting way of all these events to keep stuff going and. And keep checking in with us because we have more and more and more ideas.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

But I think already we got 10 great ide. And then it's just like fine tuning, getting stuff cleared for work. But I think if you start doing Thursdays at these theme days.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think you started us off at spirit Week. It's just. You are taking Spirit Week to a new and fun adult workplace.

[B]

Yep. I love it. I love it. I mean, no. Is There any. Are we missing any kind of like vibe or tone that you're trying to create? Like if. I know, I know, like when you came out and said, like, look, the big events are easy, are kind of easy to plan. It's these little things. And I feel like we have given you some little things. Summer bigger in scope than others. But do you feel like you have enough ammunition to get a good start on this?

[F]

I do, I think, you know, in terms of like the vibe, honestly, it is, it's cliche, but it is very like, work hard, play hard. I don't think anyone takes themselves too seriously. So I, I do think there would be a lot of fun. I think my concern is just I don't want to make it too much of a commitment where it's like a couple people are really going to hardcore and then everyone else is kind of like, I have to work.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[B]

That's why I would like some of the ideas about like my Ben Franklin impression contest. That may be for like year two. But like I would start off small with a lot of these things, you know, like whatever is the most, like whatever is the most, like everyone, like player friendly. Like everyone could participate in like I do think it's starting slow and then like getting people like used to like, oh, we're doing these kind of weird little things every once in a while while.

[F]

I really like the video games and I really like the karaoke as well. And actually one of my co workers saw a karaoke bus. Have you seen those?

[B]

No.

[F]

She saw one of those go by and she was like, we have to do it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You could also do like a fun walking tour. I did the tour of Philadelphia when I was there. I'll tell you what else I did in Philadelphia that's shockingly fun. The bus. The bus tour.

[F]

It's a lot of fun.

[A]

And you go to, to you go to all these different Philadelphia spots and I actually love doing that. Whatever city I first get into, it's like, let me see the most basic stuff. Let me be a tourist. I always thought it'd be really funny to do like a dark, bleak, toned Bourdain style travel show. Then it's just me getting on those tour buses. But you see a shocking amount of history in an hour doing the Philadelphia one. And it might be a bunch of fun. And the idea, our secret goal for this is to bring the quiet folks out of their shell. There it is to let people into their life and see who they are, whether it's them showing off their dog at home or getting them on a double decker tour bus and seeing where America was born in our 250th anniversary. And I think you gotta go all in for the 250th.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Philadelphia birthed America. Let's lean into it, sister.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Yay. I'm excited.

[A]

Okay. So we feel good.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. As you know, you're stuck with us. Any other tweaking on these ideas? We stand ready. We are here. Producer Wendy now has a very vital email going for weirdhere to helpmail.com but please keep us involved. And I know we threw a lot of fun ideas out at you, but we want to hear what you're doing, how you're doing. Then you also clearly can take a nugget of these ideas from these two big weirdos and take it to glory. And we can't wait to see what you do.

[F]

Yeah. No, I love it. And I. It'll be a few months until I'm, you know, really, really in it, but I will definitely follow up and send some pictures of. Of some of the events once we get rolling.

[B]

Well, that's perfect. Like end of summer, you'll be taking over right as autumn starts. Oh, it couldn't be. You're lined up for success. Trust me, starting anything new in the fall is a good time to start,

[F]

let me tell you. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

[A]

Whimsy unlocked.

[B]

Whimsy unlocked. Carrie. God Tier. Boom, boom. Carrie. Well, if you have any pictures, let us know how it goes. We are definitely curious. We'd love to have to do a follow up up. But in the meantime, we're very excited for you. You, you are going to be. They hired the right person. You're going to bring the whimsy back.

[F]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

[A]

All right, awesome. And lean into Ben Franklin's weirdness. It's what made America.

[B]

He was a ritual magician.

[A]

Weird Hellfire club.

[B]

Look it up.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Let's go. Bye, friend.

[B]

Bye, Carrie.

[A]

Weird Here to Help is hosted by Eric Edelstein and Steve Berg. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@weird hereto

[F]

helpmail.com hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[B]

Sterling K. Brown.

[A]

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that was Us now on Headgum.

[F]

Each episode, we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show.

[A]

This is us.

[B]

That's right.

[F]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[A]

Are we gonna cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot. A whole lot.

[B]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that. Was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify new episodes every Tuesday.