298: Sexy Baby & Blame It on the Cheese (with Murray Bartlett)

Summary

We're Here to Help – Episode 298: "Sexy Baby & Blame It on the Cheese"

Host: Headgum (Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds)
Guest: Murray Bartlett (Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed, The White Lotus)
Release Date: June 15, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this uproarious episode, Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds welcome acclaimed actor Murray Bartlett for a dynamic mix of stories and advice-giving. The episode features two memorable audience calls: one from a concerned father whose wife persistently nicknames their baby "sexy baby" (to his horror), and a second from an Australian musician in Paris navigating post-romantic awkwardness with the alluring proprietor of his local cheese shop. Throughout, the trio bring their signature blend of irreverence, honesty, and side-splitting humor, all while genuinely trying to help their listeners.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Murray Bartlett Joins the Pod (00:39 – 07:00)

• Background & Banter: Jake and Gareth are thrilled to host Murray Bartlett, plugging his new show "Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed" (Apple TV+) and reminiscing about his iconic performance on "The White Lotus."
• Jake’s White Lotus Audition Story: Jake recounts being (loosely) approached for Murray's White Lotus role and learning about the infamous "butt-eating scene," leading to hilarious debate about their comfort with such a role in a deadpan, comedic tone.
  • Quote: “There’s a scene where you would eat another man’s butt. And, Gareth, I thought that was like an old 90s joke.” —Jake Johnson (02:35)
• Behind the Scenes: Stories about talk show promotions, Jake’s mom’s cross-country travels, and the nuanced business of streaming platforms.

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2. Caller 1 – “Sexy Baby”: A Parental Nickname Crisis (11:50 – 35:15)

The Situation (11:50 – 15:25)

• Ryan from Annapolis, MD calls in. His wife lovingly bestows unusual (and increasingly embarrassing) nicknames on their kids. Their baby son, Jack, now hears only "sexy baby," even in public.
  • Quote: “How do I get my wife to stop calling our infant son Sexy Baby?” —Ryan (15:18)
• Other Nicknames: For their three-year-old, it's "Chunka Chicken," which the hosts find cute—at least for now.

The Hosts’ and Murray’s Reactions (14:42 – 24:10)

• Universal discomfort mixed with sympathy for Ryan.
  • Quote: “Sexy baby is shocking.” —Gareth Reynolds (17:10)
• Murray’s initial advice: Replace the nickname with an even-cooler, catchy alternative ("Bodhi Bunny," "TV Ready," "Mr. Huggies," "Maverick").
• Discussion of the natural, sometimes excessive, parental urge to lavish affection with odd nicknames—and when it crosses a line.

Strategies & Pitches (24:10 – 35:00)

• Shame Her Lightly: Jake’s playful, in-situ pitch: every time the wife utters “sexy baby,” Ryan should respond, “not sexual,” to highlight how weird it sounds—nudging social awareness rather than confrontation.
  • Quote: “You’re just reminding her that even though she’s a mom and in this cocoon of warmth and love and baby stuff, other people aren’t in that cocoon of safety.” —Jake Johnson (22:34)
• PowerPoint Presentation: Drawing on Ryan’s Air Force communications background, Jake develops an elaborate plan:
  • Highlight Leslie’s historic nickname brilliance with a slide deck
  • Confetti for "Chunka Chicken," a "boo" for "Sexy Baby"
  • Academic, light-hearted explanation of why “sexy” + “baby” is an awful combo
  • Quote: “All the PowerPoint presentation is loosening the grip of ‘sexy baby.’ It is not about locking in a new one.” —Jake Johnson (31:20)
• Community Accountability: The solution: present the best possible case for change in a fun, positive way, involve the podcast community for moral support, and urge a follow-up with video evidence so listeners can see the outcome.

Ryan’s Plan & Hosts’ Wrap-Up (35:00)

• Ryan is enthusiastic and grateful for the creative direction and promises to compile a PowerPoint documenting Leslie’s nickname journey, ultimately leading her to retire "sexy baby."
  • Quote: “This is so outside what I was thinking… This is genius.” —Ryan (33:30)
• The hosts ask for a recording of the PowerPoint intervention as “the tab” for the free advice—setting up an anticipated future follow-up.

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3. Caller 2 – “Blame It on the Cheese": The Parisian Cringe (39:31 – 62:52)

The Situation (39:31 – 45:14)

• “Jonah” (alias), a 32-year-old Australian musician living in Paris, lives above a hip cheese shop. Proprietor Pierre (tall, cool, French, no English) unknowingly asks out Jonah’s wife. Now Pierre is awkward, withdrawn; the rapport that made the cheese shop so great feels broken.
  • Quote: “My issue here is that the guy from the cheese shop who was hitting on my wife—his morale seems low since he found out that WE’RE together.” —Gareth Reynolds (44:22)

The Breakdown: Humanizing Pierre (45:15 – 48:02)

• The hosts and Murray are bemused and empathetic—Pierre seems to have withdrawn out of accidental disrespect.
• Discussion of the international/lingual dynamics (“My French is like a four-year-old’s”), the social peril, and the impossibility of holding a grudge.

Pitches & Advice (49:28 – 61:19)

• The Hangout Approach: Initial suggestion: host a wine night with the cheese guys and friends. Murray and Jake push for a less ambiguous, more direct approach.
• Befriending Pierre:
  • Buy a nice bottle of red wine, approach Pierre on his own turf (outside, after work), cigarettes in hand.
  • “Hey, man, I know maybe there was a little awkwardness at some point… We think you’re super cool… it’s all good.” — Murray Bartlett (53:00)
• Utilize the Translator: Jake’s final, most pragmatic advice: relay your feelings and assurance through the one English-speaking cheese worker if direct language fails, ensuring Pierre knows there are no hard feelings.
  • Quote: “It would be weird if he didn’t ask her out.” —Jake Johnson (60:47)
• The Song Pitch: Jake suggests a lighthearted song in French about having a beautiful wife that anyone would ask out, but worries it may be too “romantic” and send mixed signals.
• Community/Friendship over Awkwardness: All agree: transparency + friendliness is the path to restoring the vibe.

Jonah’s Plan & Final Thoughts (61:17 – 62:52)

• Jonah summarizes: he’ll attempt a friendly wine hangout with his wife and the cheesemongers, prepping to express (in French, if possible) that all is forgiven and friendly. If awkwardness remains, he’ll escalate to a direct conversation—possibly with his English-speaking cheese shop intermediary.
  • Quote: “I would go to the guy who speaks good English, and you would say, hey man, is it me or has there been a little bit of weirdness? Can you please tell Pierre we have no weirdness?” —Jake Johnson (60:21)
• Murray reiterates: There’s no single right way; trust your gut, be friendly, and use a go-between if needed.
• Gareth makes sure Jonah knows that "blame it on the cheese" is a reliable escape if things get tense.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Awkward Nicknames: “It’s gonna be fine until like right around six, when she has friends over, she’s gonna say, stop calling me ‘Chunka Chicken.’ That makes itself.” —Jake Johnson (16:46)
• On Parenting Comfort Levels: “Sexy Baby is like a bridge too far.” —Gareth Reynolds (19:37)
• On the Cheese Shop Situation: “Let him have sex with your wife.” [deadpan] —Jake Johnson, immediately followed by all laughing (44:18)
• On Security vs. Jealousy: “My issue here is that the guy from the cheese shop who was hitting on my wife—his morale seems low since he found out that we’re together. It's not a problem I'd call in with. I'd be like, how do I kill this cheese guy?” —Gareth Reynolds (44:22)
• On Solutions: “All the PowerPoint presentation is loosening the grip of ‘Sexy Baby.’ It is not about locking in a new one. She is the nickname queen.” —Jake Johnson (31:20)

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Key Timestamps

• 00:39–07:00 – Guest intro, White Lotus/Jake’s butt-eating story, plug for "Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed"
• 11:50–35:15 – Caller 1: "Sexy Baby" nickname crisis
• 35:15–39:31 – Ad break (skipped)
• 39:31–62:52 – Caller 2: "Blame It on the Cheese" / Paris cheese shop saga
• 62:52–65:00+ – Outro, follow-up requests, credits, and teaser for other Headgum shows

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Tone & Style

The episode is fast-paced, irreverent, and loaded with comedic asides, but underpinned by a genuine commitment to helping callers. Jake and Gareth’s rapport allows for sharp improvisation, especially as they riff off Murray’s warm, thoughtful advice. The tone is playful, self-aware, and just a bit mischievous, especially in how they approach difficult conversations (e.g., weaponizing PowerPoint against embarrassing nicknames, semi-sincere bromances with French cheese dealers).

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Summary

"Sexy Baby & Blame It on the Cheese" is a showcase of what "We're Here to Help" does best: they take your weirdest, most cringeworthy real-world problems, and deliver a mix of emotional solidarity, wild creativity, and go-for-broke comedy. With Murray Bartlett offering both gravitas and game improvisation, the advice is occasionally off-the-wall but never mean-spirited. From rehabilitating household nicknames with empathy (and a little shame), to regaining neighborhood camaraderie one bottle of wine at a time, Jake, Gareth, and Murray leave listeners laughing—and probably more prepared for their own awkward family moments and international faux pas.

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

This is a Headgum podcast. This is a Headgum podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we are back. Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

We got a winner today.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Brother Jake. We've got a great guest today. We've got from Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed. Murray Bartlett joins us.

[Jake Johnson]

The way the audience, he's great. So he's also so good in this show. He plays a. A really fun character on Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed. I highly recommend you check it out on Apple out now. But you would know Murray from season one of White Lotus. He plays the hotel host.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he's great.

[Jake Johnson]

You want to hear a funny story that I guess I'm gonna tell? So Dave Bernad, one of the producers of that show, wrote to me, mind you very clear, was not an offer. Murray got the job because Murray deserved the job. It was not a pass by old Jake Johnson. It was a conversation with a guy who did not have say. Mike White has final say. Dave texted and said, putting together a show with Mike White. I'm a big Mike White fan. He said it was during the pandemic. He said, would you be willing to come to Hawaii for a gig? And I was like, yeah. Problem is, is I got the family and I got the kids, so I can't really disappear from the group during this era. And I was like, but, man, all that sounds really fun. And he was like, yeah, putting it together. Still early stages. And then I go, what's the role? And he said, are you comfortable playing a gay character? And I wrote, of course, I don't care. And then he wrote, okay, that's what I thought. Just wanted to check. And I was like, yeah, truly don't care. And then he said, there's a scene where you would eat another man's butt. And Gareth, I thought that was like an old 90s joke. So I went like, I prefer nothing more. It was something stupid like that. And then moved on. Then we texted a little bit later. So put on. He wrote back later, went another direction, Talks in that whatever. Forgot all about it. Watched the show, loved the show, loved Murray. And right away I was like, they went in the right direction.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I really would have.

[Jake Johnson]

I was like, he is so good. This. Then I see the scene, and I was like, oh, my God. I had a moment. I don't know if I'm mature enough to get through that scene.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just laughing.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't know if I could. I don't know if I could do that with anybody on camera.

[Ryan (Caller)]

I don't.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't give a crap if it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you could.

[Jake Johnson]

You could with almost anybody Easily.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They'd be like, let us start rolling. And be like, I'll just get down here now. Like I said, yeah.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Like this.

[Jake Johnson]

Someone would be like, that's so sad. That raccoon died and got hit by the car. It's got a funky smell. You'd be like, you want me to eat it? To ask you want to film it? And they'd be like, for what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

You'd be like, I'm just driving to a show. I'm not even. It's not even for like any network.

[Jake Johnson]

It's for a stand up show in Wichita.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's for a promo for one nighter in Wichita where I'm at 45 sold.

[Jake Johnson]

Kyle's like, Brother, I don't think we filmed this. And you're like, put it. And then Luke's going, I'll eat the ass first.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll eat Garrett's ass. We can. Human centipede. And I'm like, that's a good bit, by the way.

[Jake Johnson]

Then Kyle goes, the battery's dead on the camera. Guys, I've said, let's just rehearse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's just rehearse it.

[Jake Johnson]

You guys all know, Gareth, you're eating a raccoon's butt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Full rehearsal.

[Jake Johnson]

Luke is eating yours.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll be in Wichita. I get the date wrong.

[Jake Johnson]

Where are you guys from? And then some lady in the front row goes, he's really cute on the Instagram clips, but he smells like a raccoon's ass. Terrible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's really long. I'm on there for an hour 30.

[Jake Johnson]

I want to go really rotten smell to his face.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The mic's just kind of Mike's like glistening. He and the mic are shiny. Wait, I wanted to say something very quickly. The. The story you told. You were on Kimmel to promote Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed. Yeah, the story and the way that segment went on Kimmel was so what a clean segment on a talk show. It is like one of the few times where a segment has a beginning, a middle and an end. And it was. I just was. I was texting you. I was like, it is so funny.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, I talked to my mom last night. She's calling me every night at about midnight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

So we had about an hour and a half.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's still on route with Rick.

[Jake Johnson]

She is currently. I mean, mind you, this is going to air in a few weeks, but today is when we're doing. This is May 21st. I did Kimmel, I think two nights, maybe not yesterday, two nights ago. My mother is currently. Last night. She Was in Texas Amarillo. Today she's driving into New Mexico. But just to give you a little sense of where Eve is at. So she is an iPhone. She texted me today during this. What time is it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi.

[Jake Johnson]

On her phone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is puzzling.

[Jake Johnson]

And rather than look up, she texted, what time is it? So I wrote, it was 8:37 my time. So I wrote 10:37, because that would be her time. She didn't write back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think you threw her.

[Jake Johnson]

Why would you text on her phone, what time is it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think this is my guess. I think she wanted to see the time difference from where you are to where she was. And when she asked that and you said her time, she was probably like,

[Jake Johnson]

now I'm fucking lost.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's lost.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's in the Salvador Dali clock painting right now. Like, what is time? All right, we gotta go. Murray Bartlett, great guest.

[Jake Johnson]

The best.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The best. And then go watch Maximum Pleasure guaranteed streaming now on Apple.

[Jake Johnson]

Just want to mention that all new episodes are released a day early on Hulu.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

We are also having. Our back catalog is going to be on Hulu. We're doing about 20 at a time. So if you have not checked us out on Hulu, then check us out on Hulu. Gareth, Jesse, are we saying any lies?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. And you can get season one, season two, we're gonna have a nice melange on Hulu. But the day early, I mean, there's a lot of advantages.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's another thing. Here's another thing. People going, well, I don't have hulu. You got YouTube because we're there too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Hulu a day early. YouTube for stragglers.

[Jake Johnson]

And also you go, I don't have that. Oh, we got Patreon. Yeah. And they go, I don't have that. What do you want?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, okay, Jake, we're. We're trying to. And be inclusive. And you're yelling at them, but I think you're right. It's just.

[Jake Johnson]

Look, watch this show anywhere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a lot of options. Okay?

[Jake Johnson]

Hulu's early.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hulu's early.

[Jake Johnson]

Audio Day of YouTube. Day of Patreon. No ads.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's the way to remember it. Hulu knew.

[Jake Johnson]

So Nulu, it's not the way to remember. They also have back catalog stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, then that we call. Yeah. All right. It's falling apart.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of the podcast is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah. You guys all know what this is? It's a place where you can go and book the hotels you're going to stay at. If you're going to visit somebody, you're going to go somewhere and you don't know what to do. You book booking.com. it makes it very easy. Booking.com makes it easy to find a hotel or a holiday home. That's just not generically right or right for someone, but right for you and anyone you are booking for. For I am a user of booking.com. i know the gman is booking.com helps

[Gareth Reynolds]

you get it ridiculously right so you can find exactly what you're booking for. We've talked about this a number of times. You have different travel needs. I, I require a kitchen. Jake requires a gorilla. But we're, we're always looking for the specific place so that when you get there, you feel as much comfort as possible.

[Jake Johnson]

So find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com booking. Yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Tiny Health. This is something I am about to do. I looked into Tiny Health. I'm interested. I'm doing the test and I'm gonna tell you why I'm interested to know what's going on with the microbiome inside my stomach. You ever felt like you're getting tired or bloated or just getting older, getting busy, or that weird burrito messed with you? It might be worth getting a clearer answer of what is the real culprit. And Tiny Health can help explain what is going on with your gut health. As you guys know, Gareth and I are getting older and so are a lot of the listeners. Start improving your health with real data from Tiny Health. Tiny Health is offering our listeners their most aggressive offer yet. That's 50 off of your first at home test [e-mail] heretohelp. If you're gonna do this now and save the 50 bucks and don't forget to put in here to help as the code. That's tiny health.com here to help for 50 bucks off tiny health.com here to help. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Earning. Earning is the original earned wage access app that lets you access your money as you work. Instead of waiting days and weeks for a paycheck, get up to 150 bucks a day with a max of $1,000 between paydays and no, this is not a payday loan. This is access to your money.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's no interest, no credit checks, no mandatory fees. Earn and makes money on optional tips and optional fees for features like lightning speed, which gets you your money in minutes. But there's always a no cost option. To help make financial momentum accessible to as many people as possible. Download Earn it on the app Store or Google Play spelled like earning money without the G. Type in here to help under podcast when you sign up. It really helps the show earn in as a financial technology company, not a bank. Excess limits are based on your earnings and risk factors. Standard cash outtakes, one to two business days with no mandatory fees. Expedited transfers available for a fee. Tips are voluntary and don't affect service available in select states. Terms and restrictions apply. Visit Earnin.com for full details. Hello?

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah, hey. Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quite an opening there, friend. What's your name, please?

[Ryan (Caller)]

Hey, I'm Ryan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi, Ryan. Where are you calling from, Ryan?

[Ryan (Caller)]

I'm calling from, like, the Annapolis, Maryland area.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. And Ryan, how old are you roughly?

[Ryan (Caller)]

38 now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

38. Way to go, Ryan. You've got Jake, you've got me, I'm not gonna lie. We've got a special one for you from the Apple show, Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed. We have the great Murray Bartlett with us. So you've got three bangers for you.

[Jake Johnson]

Murray, I just got to say really fast, before we get into it, you were so good at season one of White Lotus.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So good.

[Murray Bartlett]

Thanks, man. Thanks.

[Jake Johnson]

And you're so good in Maximum Pleasure Guarantee too. But that show is really. When I got to know you as a talent, you just crushed it.

[Murray Bartlett]

Thank you so much. Yeah, that was like, you know, as you can imagine, it was the role of a lifetime, which I was like, geez, I hope I don't F this up. You know what I'm saying? But yeah, it was also one of those things that was, like, shot in the. In the middle of COVID So we were just so happy to be not locked down and on a beach with an amazing group of people with cool scripts, basically on theater camp. That's what it felt like.

[Jake Johnson]

That's really cool. And then you play a. I don't want to give anything away in Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed. But you play a wild character on this one.

[Murray Bartlett]

I do play a wild character on this one. And it's. It's.

[Jonah (Caller)]

You're right.

[Murray Bartlett]

Like, it's hard to talk about it without giving anything away. And one of the great things about this show is, is it's just this, like, roller coaster ride of surprises. So I don't want to. I don't want to give anything away except that, you know, my character is not what he seems to be

[Gareth Reynolds]

and

[Murray Bartlett]

there may be some sociopathic tendencies.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I would say so. It's a really strong show. I really like it. I hope people watch. It's on Apple started May 20th. Ryan, what's going on, brother? What do we got?

[Ryan (Caller)]

All right, so you guys were the first people I thought of when I had this problem, so I'm stoked to be here. Look, you know, when, like, you have, like, really good friends or you have good family or, you know, people you get to know really well, you start developing, like, nicknames and pet names and things for them, you stop calling them their real name and you have, like, this new name, right? Yeah, my. My wife has a tendency to do that for. For everyone, for people. And we have. We have two young kids, and she has done that with them. The older one, nicknames a little bit out there, nothing crazy, but we just had a baby. He's eight months now. And over time, she just started making comments about the baby, like, oh, you're such a cute baby. Oh, you're such a great looking baby.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Oh, you're so awesome.

[Ryan (Caller)]

And then she started calling him, like, you're a hottie. And then now she has landed on this term for him, and she almost exclusively calls him sexy baby.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, no, but I get it, Ryan. You've set this up perfectly. But I get. I hate this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep going, man.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah, so obviously this, you know, as his father, as a human being, this makes me a little uncomfortable. It started out in the house, but she's become very comfortable with this. It happens in public. It happens around friends. Other people have been like, I don't understand why this is happening. And look, I have tried to get her to stop. I have. I mean, we can talk about some of the things I've done, but, like, she. She just doesn't see a problem with it, and she continues to do it. Um, so. So to think succinctly, ask my question. How do I get my wife to stop calling our infant son sexy Baby?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, let's just give a round of applause for your setup. Clean.

[Jake Johnson]

Perfect.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Problem.

[Murray Bartlett]

Phenomenal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I am tickled.

[Jake Johnson]

I need to know really fast, Ryan, what do you do for work? Because it. I feel like it's going to have something to do with setting up cleanly. Communication.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Jonah (Caller)]

No, I see.

[Ryan (Caller)]

So you guys nailed it perfectly. So actually, I'm finishing up my career in the air Force, but I did public relations and communications.

[Jake Johnson]

This makes perfect sense. Excellence. Really quick.

[Ryan (Caller)]

I'm gonna use it as my resume builder.

[Jake Johnson]

Excellent. Excellence. Ryan, what is the nickname of the first baby?

[Ryan (Caller)]

Okay, so nickname of the first baby. I Gotta give you some background. So first baby, she was a little bit of a chunky baby. So, you know, you do the baby thing. Oh, you're so, so chunky. You're so chunky. She started calling her Chunka, like, as. Like a nickname, but then started, like, attaching animals to it. So now we have landed on. And it is still her name to this day. Her name is Chunka Chicken.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How old is this child? How old is that child, Ryan?

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah. Three.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Three years old.

[Ryan (Caller)]

And so actually, now we're at the point where obviously she's. She's three and a half. You know, it's kind of cute. Still fine.

[Jake Johnson]

It's still a chunk of chicken's great at three and a half.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Jake Johnson]

Gonna be fine until, like, right around six, when she has friends over, she's gonna say, stop calling me chunk of chicken. That makes itself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Murray Bartlett]

But it's good that you didn't land on chunky chicken. Like, chunk of Chicken sounds like it's a little cute chunk of chicken. So I like that.

[Jake Johnson]

Chunky chicken is definitely different.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. It's a tough one.

[Jake Johnson]

Not a.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Not a terrible nickname. This is not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, compared to Sexy Baby, anything's awesome.

[Jake Johnson]

Sexy Baby are shocking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Chicken and Sexy Baby. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Excellent Christmas cards.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Absolutely.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so now, Ryan, what is your nickname from your wife?

[Ryan (Caller)]

Well, so I will tell you that I've had a nickname from, like, the beginning. We started dating, and I don't know, you'll have to bleep it or something because it involves my last name, but she calls me mister.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, that's clean. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And do you have a nickname for her?

[Ryan (Caller)]

No, I'm not a nickname person. I'm very straight to the point.

[Jake Johnson]

Like, so you got Mr. Chugga Chicken, Sexy Baby, and Linda.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Her name is Leslie. I'm going to call her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Very close.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. So we're trying. Murray, we're trying to get away from calling a little baby boy Sexy Baby.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Is there any questions anybody's hearing right now? Do we get in the world of pitching, where's everybody at? Murray, where's your head at?

[Murray Bartlett]

I mean, immediately I went to, you know, come up with a really cool, catchy name that you just start calling the baby, and hopefully it'll catch on. But that's, you know, that's maybe a long game, and it might not. Might not catch on. So I don't know, but that's.

[Jake Johnson]

That's out of it. Murray, with a cool baby nickname, what

[Murray Bartlett]

do you think in here instead of Sexy Baby.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Wow.

[Murray Bartlett]

What's the, what's the other baby?

[Jake Johnson]

Chunk of chicken.

[Murray Bartlett]

Chicken

[Gareth Reynolds]

just does sound like a fast food restaurant.

[Murray Bartlett]

It does, yeah. What does the. Excuse me calling your baby a sexy baby, but what does the sexy baby look like? Is there sort of a physical attribute that might sort of give itself to

[Jake Johnson]

another Magnum PI but as a baby mustache exterior.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

That great hair, has a little assistant butler with him at all times, drives a Ferrari, chest hair butler.

[Murray Bartlett]

I think that's going to bring me back to sexy baby.

[Jake Johnson]

I have to say, I always got a 9 millimeter somewhere on his body.

[Murray Bartlett]

Yeah, I don't know what about. Is, is the, is the sexy baby male or female?

[Ryan (Caller)]

Sorry, yeah, it's, it's a boy. His name is Jack, and he's, he's objectively a cute baby.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure.

[Ryan (Caller)]

So, I mean, it's not like, it's

[Gareth Reynolds]

not fitting, but Ryan, Ryan, I'm gonna tell you right now, it doesn't matter how cute your kid is. Calling it sexy baby is like a bridge too far.

[Jake Johnson]

I gotta, I got a pitch going off of Murray's pitch. What if you start calling Jack TV ready? Oh, because you're saying there's no denying Jack's a cute baby. So sexy baby. We gotta get sexy out of there. From mother to son. Now I get why she's doing it. A lot of people do this with kids where they're like, oh, my God, they're scrumptious. I want to eat them. And you're like, enough. It's too intimate. But TV ready is taking a step outside and you're going like, or like, commercial baby. Or, you know, Mr. Huggies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, I, I like that. Let me ask you this because very quickly, has it, have other, have you seen other people hear your wife use that name and sort of be like, whoa, yeah.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Oh, absolutely. So, like, I have, I have an older daughter. I have a teenager. And, and she's like, every time she said it, she kind of does that, like, office stare at me, like, is this happening right now? It happened with, like, other family members. Like, no one, no one's, like, brought it up to her. But I'm like, no, this is like, this is weird. I promise you. People are uncomfortable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so then Jake's pitch of find a more more mainstream way of talking, calling out the child's good looks. What do you think about something like that, Ryan?

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah, I like it. So I, I, like I said, I'm not a nickname person, but I've kind of like, you know, nicknamed him like Jackie. You know, he's like, Normal stuff like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I've been trying to, like, just, Just more.

[Jake Johnson]

He's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The kid's name's.

[Jake Johnson]

He's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The idea that you're trying to hang with Leslie on the nickname game, like, yeah, she calls the baby Sexy Baby, but I'm also. I got a bunch of. Nick, I'm calling Jack, Jackie.

[Jake Johnson]

We're all crazy in this house,

[Ryan (Caller)]

Actually. It doesn't hold a. It doesn't hold a flame.

[Jonah (Caller)]

I know.

[Ryan (Caller)]

I got something.

[Jake Johnson]

I got something really fast, actually, that you could take away the fun of. Sexy baby. You're just gonna have to commit to it being uncomfortable.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is where I'm headed.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Gareth, do me a favor and be her for a second, okay, and talk about the baby. And I'm gonna give you an example, Ryan, of what I think you should do every time she says sexy baby.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Okay, Great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, gosh. Just changed his diaper. Look at this. Sexy baby.

[Jake Johnson]

Not sexual.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, of course not. What?

[Jake Johnson]

It's just the baby. I just, I was making it very clear that it's not sexual.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm just. He's a very cute baby. Sexy.

[Jake Johnson]

Sexual.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sexy baby.

[Jake Johnson]

Not sexual.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? What, what are you doing? Yeah, pretty good.

[Jake Johnson]

Because you're just putting, like, an asterisk. You're just saying she doesn't mean it's sexual. And she's gonna go like, what are you talking about? You're just reminding her that even though she's a mom and she's in this, like, cocoon of warmth and love and baby stuff, other people aren't in that cocoon of safety. So you're letting people know she is not giving your son a sexual nickname even though she's saying sexy. Murray, your thoughts?

[Murray Bartlett]

I think, Yeah, I think I, I think that's the way to go. I think. Shame her. Is that what you mean, Jake?

[Jake Johnson]

Kind, well, kind of.

[Jonah (Caller)]

It's.

[Jake Johnson]

Pretend to be giving an explanation to others.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I, I, I was kind of headed in a similar direction, but I do think what you're going for there is better. And then I think your first pitch comes into play after that. That's when you bring your other pitches for the different nickname to the table. But it is a Uncomfortable.

[Jake Johnson]

Actually, I have another. Go ahead, Murray.

[Murray Bartlett]

No, it's just. Yeah, it's finding a way to kind of d. Sting or kind of neutralize or, or sort of shine a light on what this name is actually kind of bringing into the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's, it's kind of presenting her with how you feel. So it's like she's making you feel like it's a bridge too far. So then when you say that, you're sort of calling out what you feel and she's going to be like, what the are you doing?

[Jake Johnson]

I have a better. I have an idea that I think is going to work for you, Ryan, and it's going to use what we've got to know about you. They want you to do a PowerPoint presentation for your wife. You're great at communication. You're an Air Force guy, you're disciplined. The PowerPointation is going to be very good. It's going to be very thought out. And what it is is you need to. She can nickname everybody in the family. She's the nickname expert. You are not. You give every example of every nickname she's done to everybody in your life with the nickname and a photo and how it's an A plus. And when it comes to chunk of chicken, you have literally like confetti in the PowerPoint, like, Yay. Then when it's sexy baby, it's boo. Then how sexy and baby just don't go together. And then how for you, it just elicits ideas of like, the term like. Then you define like what the term sexy, where it comes from. Sexual.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe pictures of people we consider sexy in today's day and age to sort of show that this is not a Sydney Sweeney or Brad Pitt and then.

[Jake Johnson]

But the overly graphic photo where you're like, whoa.

[Murray Bartlett]

Maybe separate. Separate the two words like a column of pictures of sexy and a column of pictures of baby. Just to kind of like draw the really like kind of draw and draw

[Jake Johnson]

the sort of difference and then go. I would never. And the ending of it is I would never pitch to the nickname master suggestions of what it should be. But I am asking you after this like 35 minute PowerPoint presentation to please come up with something new.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I think we maybe do have a pitch on. I think you're right. But maybe there is a very good. You could pitch the name Maverick Air Force Hot. But it's not as over when you're in public.

[Jake Johnson]

But she. How about this Chunky chicken Goose.

[Murray Bartlett]

If you have fucked with Goose and Maverick, that's good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you offer to buy little bomber jackets for these too.

[Jake Johnson]

If you have the final thing as a photo of your baby in a bomber jacket with the glasses and go. I'd like to. For the first time, I would like to give a nickname. I want to go away from Sexy Chicken and I want to either call him Maverick or Goose Ryan Can I ask you.

[Murray Bartlett]

Does. What. What does your. Your. Are there things that your wife loves? Is there, like, you know, is there some animal that she loves? Is there any. What comes to mind when you think of what she loves? Because maybe if you can come up with a name that's something endearing to her or something that she thinks is super cute or very thoughtful.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah, no, I like that. I like that.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Well, she.

[Ryan (Caller)]

She's really into bunnies. She's got a thing for. For bunnies. So, you know, other cute, fluffy, cuddly things. She's also yoga and like, you know, that type of. That type of vibe and scene.

[Murray Bartlett]

Okay. The name that comes to mind is Bodhi. Bodhi bunny. Ooh, Bodhi's Bodhi for the yoga. Bunny for the Bodhi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Also, though, from Point Break, Patrick Swayze. Quite sexy.

[Jake Johnson]

Ooh,

[Murray Bartlett]

Bodhi tree. You know. Yeah, she'll relate to that.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah, I think.

[Murray Bartlett]

Well, I think Jake's on something really, like, smart here of, like, you start with the positive of like, you're so great at nicknames.

[Jake Johnson]

And every nickn have the photo, the nickname.

[Murray Bartlett]

Amazing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you're walking her through the ceremony of the hits.

[Murray Bartlett]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Chicken.

[Murray Bartlett]

Then you hit her with, you know, the. This is what sexy is.

[Ryan (Caller)]

The.

[Murray Bartlett]

With, you know, a really, like, stunning collage of sexy and then. And also the same.

[Jake Johnson]

And graphic.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Graphic.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Murray Bartlett]

Bordering on gross, I think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Does your wife like a little wine here, Ryan?

[Jonah (Caller)]

Is she.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What does she drink wine?

[Ryan (Caller)]

Oh, yeah, she'll have a little wine. She likes some bourbon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I might get. I might have a little alcohol available for this session. You know, grease the wheels.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

This is when all the kids are sleeping.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Yeah. When Chad is.

[Jake Johnson]

I want you to. I want you to go when you get to the sexy part. If you're going to do this, Ryan, from the beginning of time. So, yeah, not. We're not talking about 20, 26.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're talking about.

[Jake Johnson]

Sexy has always the term theory. Intro of sexy of what we as humans, when we hear sexy blank. If you go sexy alligator, then that's going to be an alligator in, like, a mini skirt, Right. If there was a cartoon, if you go, what's a sexy bunny?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Rome. What was sexy in Rome? What became sexy through the Middle Ages? What was considered sexy? The 70s, the 80s.

[Jake Johnson]

And then go, what has always been considered for decent people, not sexy. And then it's babies.

[Murray Bartlett]

Right. I love that because it's kind of academic. It's less. Kind of like, I'm going to shock you so that you.

[Jonah (Caller)]

You know.

[Murray Bartlett]

No, this is like, just. It's very sort of rational and kind

[Gareth Reynolds]

of like historical and well thought out.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. She's going. He put time into this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And at the end, we're. We're complimenting as well, which I think is good. But I definitely think once we see that juxtaposition, I do think that's a pretty good pitch. And then I think you can pitch a couple. But maybe that's just to make her realize that you're not good at it or whatever. But she needs to come back. And the truth is, who can come up with a better nickname than Leslie? I mean, the fucking Babe Ruth of nicknames.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, and Ryan, here's the final pitch to her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You then get an image, and we'll send you. Get an image of us two from the podcast and get an image of Murray maybe from White Lotus. There is a specific scene I just started thinking of from White Lotus that could really play, especially in the sexy section. And then a callback. And then you say, these guys helped. And what we would like is when we come up with the new nickname, we'll go on the show and pitch to them the new nicknames, and we as a community can lock in the new ones.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Oh, I like it.

[Jake Johnson]

So now she goes. I can't get. Because what she might do on the PowerPoint is go like, you're crazy. I'm not doing this. You are a maniac. But then she's like, gareth, Murray and Jake and the audience, big spotlight. Now she's like, I can't get out of this. Then she goes, maverick and goofs are terrible. I'm not calling him Jackie, and that's fine. Leslie, you come up with the pitches, come back on the show, and we'll lock something in. All the PowerPoint presentation is loosening the grip of sexy baby. It is not about locking in a new one. She is the nickname queen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree.

[Ryan (Caller)]

I think that. I think this is. I think this is great. I mean, this is so outside of what I was thinking. So much more in depth, and I think this is actually going to work.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so, Ryan, now walk us through your plan. What you're going to do, how you're going to present it, how you're going to tell her, take over timeline. Yeah, walk us through it.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. So the. The last thing I need, really, is more work, but thank you, guys for that. I'm going to go ahead. I'm going to go ahead and throw together a PowerPoint slide. Like you said. I'm going to go through all the family, all the pets, all the friends, all the nicknames, pictures and their nickname, line it up slide by slide. And it's just gonna kind of build and show her how great she is at this and how grateful we are for these nicknames. And then at the very end, I love the juxtaposition of this is sexy and these are babies and they are not the same. So show that slide, and then, you know, we'll get a picture of Jack on there and show him, you know, hey, he's a cute baby, but he needs a real nickname. So that will be the soft pitch to be like, hey, sexy baby. Not okay. Real nickname, though. Let's start thinking about what that could truly be. And I think that kind of will sift her away from this. Yeah. The fixation she has on this.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, it's just she's going down the wrong path. She's, like, about to become a full addict, but right now she's just experimenting with hard drugs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep, exactly right. It's time.

[Jake Johnson]

Get her back to weed and beer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She had her fun. Listen, she rode the dragon for a little while, God bless, But this come back to her. Have a beer.

[Murray Bartlett]

Not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is exactly right.

[Jonah (Caller)]

This is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is not. This is dangerous. This is the opium. Get outside. Have a joint, for God's sake.

[Jake Johnson]

Put some tobacco in there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You'll be fine. You'll be fine. Okay, let's go on a hike, for fuck's sake. Enjoy the sun. That's a drug. What are you doing in there? Get out.

[Jake Johnson]

You're hanging out with the wrong people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're 33. You look 55. What are you doing?

[Jake Johnson]

Are you talking to us now? Now, let's get personal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. Now, Ryan, how do you feel about this?

[Ryan (Caller)]

Honestly, this is better than I could have even imagined. I was, like, pitching ways to, like, make her uncomfortable and make her, like. I was. I was trying to, like, fight fire with fire, and it wasn't working. Like, this is genius.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ryan, when do you think you'll be able to get this presentation together?

[Ryan (Caller)]

Oh, man. Definitely within the next couple of weeks. And then, you know.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth, will you explain to him the new rule? Yeah, Ryan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And listen, we're excited and we know you're going to put in good work, but you feel good about the advice, the session? Murray, Jake and I have pitched pretty well. You feel good?

[Ryan (Caller)]

Oh, absolutely, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is a free service. This is a community service. The only thing we're going to say is there is a tab, and the tab is pretty simple. What we need from you is when you're giving the PowerPoint to Leslie, we just are going to need your phone set up somewhere where we can film from behind Leslie her head, the PowerPoint. And we want that all just recorded. And we're going to take that. We will blur out anything you want blurred out. But that's the tab. The tab is we need to be able to share this experience with our audience because quite frankly, Ryan, we're all very invested in this.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah, no, it's a. It's a visual thing too. So I get it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You get.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah, no, I. I get it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Don't run out right here. We want to be friends.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you for the call. We cannot wait for the follow up. I know this is going to work. And when Leslie's ready, come back on the show and let's hear the follow up will be either she's not presenting it, you guys are telling us or you're presenting options. However, Leslie wants to run the nicknames.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, you got.

[Murray Bartlett]

You got this, Ryan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've got.

[Murray Bartlett]

This is.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a win.

[Murray Bartlett]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maximum pleasure guaranteed.

[Murray Bartlett]

Exactly.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Awesome. Thanks boys. This is gonna be great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go get him by that.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode is brought to you by Storyworth. Look, most Father's Day's gifts end up in a drawer. Storyworth doesn't. It gives your dad a year long experience and gives your family a book full of stories he'd probably never think to tell on his own. This is something I wish I did with Croco. I missed it. He passed. You don't get that time back. I'm having a lot of fun with Ms. Eve right now. Ms. Evie. Eve Johnson. I would do a story with her but I think that might go a little sideways. I might do it with Rick, her driving companion. He could do a story worth but I would love Eve to do it. She's got great stories. I just don't know. You know who might do this is Pam. Pam could do this. But this is about dads. This year, give dad a gift that captures who he really is before the stories get harder to remember. Father's day is Sunday, June 21st. So order right now and save up to $20 at storyworth.com here to help save up to [e-mail] here to help storyworth.com here to help this episode of We're Here to Help is brought to you by Wayfair. I bought a robot vacuum on that cleans itself. It's a self cleaning robot vacuum and I love it. The thing goes around vacuums the Floor then takes itself home to its little portal. I'm a fan of it. Wayfair's got everything you want. It's got outdoor seating, grills, it's got outdoor furniture. Over 20 million 5 stars reviews.

[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Whitney or Alexan]

Wayfair Every style, every home.

[Jake Johnson]

This episode of the podcast is brought to you by booking.com booking.com helps you get it ridiculously right so you can find exactly what you're booking for gman, you're on the road constantly. The hotel you're in, did the show book it or did you book it using booking.com?

[Gareth Reynolds]

you know what I've been doing, Jake, is I have to switch hotels so often that I've started asking the clubs if they'll just give me a buyout and then I'll find a hotel that's in between the places. I'll go to booking.com I'll find a place that is kind of equidistant and I get a couple nights in the same hotel. They couldn't make it easier.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, I've got a question for the audience here. June 19, is that the date for the live show in Omaha? We got people in the Midwest who are nearby who go, I want to take a little trip and see something. But where would I stay? Well, go to booking.com because it makes it easy to find a hotel or a holiday home that's just, that's not just generically right or right for somebody, but ridiculously right for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, also Omaha, a fantastic city surrounded by fantastic. I don't know why you said things. Thank you, Steve. But you just live there. But it, there's. You could get vacation rentals. You could turn it into A few days. I mean, who knows?

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Steve, if people come to Omaha for this little trip and they book on booking.com and they turn it into a three day thing, what are a few things they should do besides see you guys live? Well, obviously we have the best zoo in the country.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In the world.

[Jake Johnson]

I think maybe find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com booking. Yeah. Book today on the site or in the app.

[Murray Bartlett]

Sexy baby, Sexy baby.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hello.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Hey. Hey.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Going good.

[Murray Bartlett]

How are you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

How are you going?

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah, good, thank you.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Sorry, I, I just went very Australian straight away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I think you're going to be okay. I really do. I think you're in good hands here. Listen, you got Jake, you got myself. And from the show Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed, we have Murray Bartlett also joining us. So do you guys want to say hi to each other in your.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah. Hi.

[Murray Bartlett]

Hi. How are you?

[Jonah (Caller)]

Pretty good, Pretty good. Good.

[Murray Bartlett]

Are you from Australia?

[Jonah (Caller)]

I'm from Australia, yeah.

[Murray Bartlett]

Where are you from in Australia?

[Jonah (Caller)]

I'm from Melbourne.

[Murray Bartlett]

Ah, cool. I'm from Perth, which, you know, and it's a step down from Melbourne, but

[Jake Johnson]

yeah, I'm from right in between, really.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, Jake, we're gonna jump on there and cut you off. Call it.

[Jake Johnson]

What's your name? I' from Dunville.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not a place. Go ahead, caller. What's your name, please?

[Jonah (Caller)]

I'm gonna use a fake name if that's right. I'm gonna go with Jonah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jonah. Very good fake name.

[Jake Johnson]

Cool. That's our first Jonah in 300 episodes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's solid. Jonah, how old are you?

[Jonah (Caller)]

I'm 32.

[Gareth Reynolds]

32. You come from Melbourne.

[Jake Johnson]

Really quick thing for Murray and Jonah is a. An American in California. What's the difference between Melbourne and Perth?

[Jonah (Caller)]

What.

[Murray Bartlett]

What do you think, Jonah? I think. I feel like we probably got. Oh, go ahead.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah. Oh, I was just gonna. You guys are all better looking and you've got tans and you're all surf. Melbourne is a bit, you know, there's less, there's less nice weather and we're probably a bit tastier and. Yeah,

[Murray Bartlett]

Yeah, but the, the flip side of that is that Melbourne's like this sort of cultural hub of Australia. You guys have like, like great. Not that we don't have good food in, in Perth, but you guys have really mastered the kind of the cafe. Cafe culture. You got great clubs, you got a great music scene. Like you got all that good stuff.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah, that's true. That's true.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is the difference culturally between America. They're both making cases for why the other one city's better, but in America, you'd be like, my town. You're like. You're lucky.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, but, Gareth, if you and I were Australian cities, I think you would be Perth, and I might be Melbourne.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I got no notes on that. I love Perth. Love Perth.

[Murray Bartlett]

There's a lot to love. I have to say, Garrett, a lot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not the flight, but everything else. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, Jonah, take over, friend.

[Jonah (Caller)]

All right, so I actually live in Paris with my wife, so I'm actually not in Melbourne at the moment. But we've been here for about. She's been here for a bit longer, but I've been here for almost two years. And about 10 months ago, we moved into an apartment that is above a very cool cheese shop. And there's three guys that work there, and they're very cool, and we always say hi to them, and we buy lots of cheese, and they often also take our packages, like Amazon packages. If we're not home, they sign for it. So it's very good vibe. Good to have down there, dangerous to have down there because I'm a bit lactose intolerant.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But the other day, gross detail, just the horrid. It all sounded so French. Until you're like. By the way, that my downstairs neighbors give me diarrhea. Anyway, here's the problem.

[Jake Johnson]

It was so cool and romantic and then got so smelly. Gross.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No wonder you're using an alias. All right, keep going, Jonah.

[Jonah (Caller)]

So the other day, we were coming back, we just had gone out to dinner, and we were walking past, and the three guys with a few of their friends were having a wine out the front, and one of them was DJing. So we started chatting to them, and I was talking to one of them, and my wife was talking to another guy that worked. One of the guys that works there, let's call him Pierre. And he starts to ask her out on a date and. Yeah, but I don't. We've. We've spoken about it since. We don't think he knows we never go in together because we're just popping in to get a cheese or a package or something. So the guy that I was talking to, in French, said to him, that's his. What are you doing? That's his wife. And he was. He apologized and we were laughing, and then. And so I thought it was fine. And, you know, we were both. Me and my wife were both chuffed about it. But then, since then, Pierre has been really awkward and he seems a bit sad. And whenever I walk past now to try and, you know, say hi to him or give him a fist bump, there's definitely a mood change. And it's been about three weeks now. And, you know, I want to have a relationship with these cheese guys because they're cool and they take our Amazon packages. But it's. Yeah, it's. It's changed since he asked her out on the date.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, let him have sex with your wife.

[Murray Bartlett]

Easy. All right, well, thanks, John.

[Jake Johnson]

Pierre and your wife start going on some dates, you get to fist pump and have gross farts, man. Is that what you want here?

[Gareth Reynolds]

What a. What a secure man you are. To be like, my issue here is that the guy from the cheese shop who was hitting on my wife, his morale seems low since he found out that we're together. It's not a problem I'd call in with. I'd be like, how do I kill this cheese guy? Okay, so just to be clear, cheese shop guy, Pierre asks your wife out. He finds out you two are together, he's down in the dumps. You want to repair this relationship because you love the cheese shop rapport you've developed, basically.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Exactly.

[Jake Johnson]

Crazy. Let's hear a little bit about Pierre.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Pierre is very French. He's tall and he doesn't speak any English, which is the other. The other kind of snag in it is that I might actually. I speak French like a four year old. And so I feel like it's sort of a delicate situation trying to have a conversation like this with him. If I. If I, you know, where do I go from there? And he. He actually was the one DJing.

[Ryan (Caller)]

So he's very cool.

[Jonah (Caller)]

He's very tall. He's definitely. If he came to a fight and he had to buy the me for my wife, he would definitely win.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't worry.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on. This is crazy. Jonah. So he's a dj. He's very tall, he's French. He could kick your ass. Does your wife speak French?

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah, he definitely is French. I think he might be.

[Jake Johnson]

No. Does yours. Does your wife speak French?

[Jonah (Caller)]

She does. Very well.

[Jake Johnson]

This is a nightmare.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is he attractive?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yes. Yeah, but we have different looks.

[Jake Johnson]

Of course. He's really hot and tall. And you're short and stumpy like me. I look a lot like the heavy guy from New Girl. I'm like, you're. You're in a danger zone, brother. You are in a danger zone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, listen, we're on Jonah's side. I will say it feels like you could have just googled what is a French Man. And you're just reading the details. He's tall. He works at a cheese shop.

[Jake Johnson]

What Frenchman will steal my wife? That's why it's this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so we're looking to repair this relationship.

[Murray Bartlett]

Can I just. Can I just bring up one point, Jonah? Did you. Did you have more than a kind of a passing relationship with Pierre? Like, what was your relationship with Pierre before? Were you super friendly? Did you try and exchange words? Was there kind of a. Was there a sort of established rapport? And if there was, what. What was that?

[Jonah (Caller)]

There definitely was a rapport. Like, I would go in and buy cheese from him and ask him about the cheese. And then when he was like, the front door of the cheese shop is literally our same front door. So when he would be having a little cafe and a cigarette out the front, I would, like, give him, like, they serve out to him and, like, give him a fist bump.

[Jake Johnson]

And so I don't mean this weird, but I'm getting turned down by this guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's hot. He's smoking.

[Jake Johnson]

He's so cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's hot.

[Murray Bartlett]

So cool.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, we all want to play.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I. I don't, but. And I don't.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what?

[Ryan (Caller)]

I don't think my wife does either, which is good.

[Jonah (Caller)]

That would be a different phone call.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. That's nice to hear. She's not into it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What is the wife's POV on the situation and your feeling about the situation?

[Jonah (Caller)]

She has also said that Pierre is. Has been a bit cold and, like, trying to be distance from her as well, so she's feeling the same.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She misses the old Pierre, too.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah. Yeah. Because it was a nice. It was a nice vibe to have that kind of relationship. And now I think.

[Jake Johnson]

But I get where Pierre is coming from. Maybe he's actually being respectful, and he's like, I overstepped. And I don't want them to feel uncomfortable. They live here. I did not know they were together, so I'm gonna pull back because I like the vibe too.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Maybe. I mean, we're just. Jonah, at this point. My head's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. Yeah, I can jump in with a pitch if we like it. I. I think what might be a good idea is to invite the cheese shop workers upstairs for some wine after work and a little bit of a communal hang, and I would maybe populate it with a couple other friends of yours to sort of just involve a little booze and just. Let's turn the page together.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't like that.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Murray, Your thoughts?

[Murray Bartlett]

I feel like. Yeah, Well, I mean, I think inviting other people, that might make it worse, actually. I feel like maybe they get the wrong impression there. It could be, yeah. But I, I, I do think that, like, a, A direct approach might be. Well, I don't know. I mean, that's sort of an indirect approach, but it, I think it could be easily misinterpreted.

[Jake Johnson]

I do too. I don't want Pierre in my home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But you've got. We're coming from. We gotta put on Jonah glasses.

[Jake Johnson]

I know, but I would maybe do something like that there. I wouldn't say. This is the bedroom area.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm not asking for these cheesemen to go into the bedroom. The bedroom is shut. I'm asking them to be in the living room. Have a pop or two. Let's hang out, have a laugh. We're friends with this party wraps up. All clothes remain on. An hour or two after work, Jonah gets diarrhea. The boys leave.

[Murray Bartlett]

I don't know. I'm feeling that maybe that's like stage two or three. I feel like a more sort of like one on one or two on one. Sort of like,

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do it two on one.

[Murray Bartlett]

That's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or one four on one. There's six on six.

[Murray Bartlett]

A two on one in a public space of like, you know, somehow breaking the ice to make him feel more comfortable. Whether it's like, you know, I don't know, giving him like a, A gift or somehow, like, I mean, I don't know that the direct approach. No.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, here's, look, here's where I'm bumping Jonah. He asked out your wife and then he's quiet. He doesn't deserve a gift.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But, but right, Jake.

[Jake Johnson]

He doesn't deserve an invite.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're all struggling. This is what we're all struggling with. Jonah is your security as a man, it seems like Jake and I, I will say, do not possess this. But I don't know about. But so, but we've got to look from his pov, he's secure. He doesn't. He's not worried about any of that. The wife is all good. We're just talking about if you take the wife out of it. We've had an awkward situation with Pierre from the cheese shop. How do we make him feel like we're all good and buddies again?

[Jake Johnson]

So next time you see Jonah, him sitting outside smoking a cig, having a glass of wine, is that what they do? Eat some cheese? Sit outside?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah, that's it.

[Jake Johnson]

Just ask if you could sit down or get a really nice bottle of red.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And the next time you see him out there, say, can I join? And hand them the wine for everybody?

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I do think maybe you go there, just you, for this first round, because it might be the couple dynamic that's making him feel a little strange. So you go over there, thaw the ice that way, and then we're sort of getting back in, maybe.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah, I like that.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you smoke cigarettes?

[Jonah (Caller)]

On occasion. With a wine.

[Jake Johnson]

So what I would consider doing is having a pack of cigarettes that, you know, they also smoke. And while they're out there sitting, go. Do you mind if I sit down? I'm gonna have a. I'm gonna have a smoke and then offer to them. And make sure you offer to Pierre with a smile. Go ahead. You got something.

[Murray Bartlett]

I just feel like if I was. If I put myself in your position, Jonah, I would. And I do. I feel similarly, I think, kind of secure in my relationship. If someone did that, then we wanted to be friends with. I'd find the right moment, and maybe it's, you know, outside with a cigarette, like, you're. You're making a gesture that kind of, you know, like, that's friendly. I would at some point say, hey, like, I know maybe there was a little awkwardness at some point. We just want you to know we think you're super cool. And like, this, you know, there's. There's. It's all good, man. Like, it's. It's. There's a language barrier, whatever, but, like, we just think you're awesome. So I. I don't know. I just. I feel like that's. That's what I would do at some point in the right. In the right moment. Maybe it's the second or third time you offer him a cigarette on the stoop. But, like, I. I would. I wouldn't go the direct route. I feel like, you know, French men. I feel like French people in general, they're. They're like. They express their emotions. They don't, like, hide things. And I feel like getting it out in the open in a. Just sort of like, you know what this is? It's totally cool, man. I. I feel like, you know, in the right moment, a direct approach, like, that could be the way. The good way in.

[Jake Johnson]

Let me ask you a question, Jonah. You guys swing at All Jakey?

[Jonah (Caller)]

No.

[Ryan (Caller)]

No, we don't.

[Jonah (Caller)]

You know, we're not there yet. We're only newly married. We've only been married for three months.

[Jake Johnson]

How long have you guys been dating?

[Jonah (Caller)]

Six Years.

[Jake Johnson]

You meet her in Melbourne?

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

What brought you guys to Paris together?

[Jonah (Caller)]

She came for a job and I'm a musician, so I just tag along because I can sort of.

[Jake Johnson]

Musician. And you're a cool musician?

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah. Oh, I'm the singer. So I. That's all, you know.

[Jake Johnson]

Now I'm getting the confidence.

[Murray Bartlett]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So you're a cool Australian singer. You're a hot guy. You're not worried about a cheese guy?

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah, no, I'm not worried about him.

[Jonah (Caller)]

I'm worried about his feelings. I'm not worried about him and my wife. No.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so this is pretty cool. So then I'm not bringing. Until you guys are, like, a super hot couple from Melbourne.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jonah (Caller)]

My wife is a babe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jonah's one again.

[Jonah (Caller)]

I'd ask her out, too. I did. I did after that.

[Jake Johnson]

Jonah, do you have. Do you have long hair?

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah, I've got a little melody thing.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. And how many tats do you have?

[Jonah (Caller)]

Just the one.

[Jake Johnson]

What is it?

[Jonah (Caller)]

It's a triangle on my bicep.

[Jake Johnson]

It's hot as hell.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You have an ab.

[Jake Johnson]

He has six of them.

[Jonah (Caller)]

I don't know if I've got abs, but I do swim almost every day, so I'm Slender Man.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. And when you said this guy could beat you in a fight, we know Australians could mix it up a little bit. Were you being cheeky there? You'd kill this guy. You're an MMA fighter, aren't you?

[Jonah (Caller)]

No, no, because I'm. Because I'm little. He's. He's quite big. He definitely could beat me in a fight.

[Jake Johnson]

What does that mean, little? Yeah.

[Jonah (Caller)]

I reckon he would be six, two. And I reckon I'm five. Or five. Nine. Or five. Ten.

[Murray Bartlett]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake. Tell Jake. Explain how insulting what just happened was.

[Jake Johnson]

You're not little, brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're not.

[Ryan (Caller)]

You're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're above average, Jon. You're making those of us who are barely sniffing five, nine feel terrible. This is a call for us to help you. This isn't to make us feel like.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Sorry.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm sorry. I knew that was gonna get you, Gareth. It was mean that he said little like that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he's just, oh, I'm old as I'm 45. Keep picking. I'm little and I'm gonna fly to Paris and I'm gonna fight you, Jonah. How about that?

[Jake Johnson]

He'll kill you, dude.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna take time out. Go ahead.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so you're a cool musician. Now we're getting it. You're not worried about this guy, even though he's a hunk, your wife's a babe, you got a nice thing. I think the move is definitely. You go down there. I wouldn't do the Gareth thing where you go just alone, because I don't want this to turn into a boys club where it's like, it's weird with her, but we're cool. You and she are the team, and they're a team. So you're just saying the team of five is all good, but it's not. You're now kind of with them and with her. So I would go down together with two bottles of really nice wine, sit down, offer it to them, and just push past the little weirdness. And if Pierre's quiet, ask him questions, get him talking, offer him cigarettes so he realizes really quickly they're pretty cool. But I think you got to be really aggressive to get over his feelings.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm gonna put a little bit on that to coordinate it a little bit more. The two bottles of wine, you show up, you have a hang, you're reading the Room with Pierre. If you feel any of the awkwardness, I would maybe incorporate the Murray wrinkle, where you say, hey, dude. You know, just so you know, that was fine. After an hour on our first bottle of wine, you text your wife and say, come down and join. So you've kind of established this without her around, because that's what I worry, that it would feel a little more awkward if you give the Murray pitch, which I like. So you have 45, just the boys. The wife comes down for the second bottle of wine, and hopefully we're back on track.

[Jake Johnson]

I have a joke idea that could work. What if you write a song in French to him that says, so you asked out my girlfriend, I would, too. Or my wife, She's a babe. We see it as a compliment. Can we go back to being friends?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

It's funny. It's goofy. You play it for him with a bottle of wine and go, there's not one part of us that feels weird. We see it as a compliment. We see you guys as really cool. Let's move on.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah. My only thing about that is if I'm writing songs, maybe he will misinterpret that as some sort of menageritois. Like the Maybe that is a bit romantic.

[Jake Johnson]

You're not wrong. Especially now. I get a sense that your voice is sexy. You got the kind of voice that whenever you sing, somebody wants to think sex with you. And I respect the hell out of that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, what end up happening is Pierre and Jonah are gonna bang.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so, Jonah, we've given you, I mean, kind of a. A straight shot on this kind of.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But a little structure.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, but what do you think you're going to do here?

[Jonah (Caller)]

I. I think I'm gonna try and go down first with my wife and just try and have a wine with them. And then maybe on another second occasion, do the. Just me and then maybe mention something and say, you know, yeah, that was funny. That's. We're totally cool with that. Because also I will be saying this, like, in like a 4 year old. I'll be like, when you asked my wife on a date, that was, okay,

[Jake Johnson]

me and you offering, but can you. I've got a question. Do the other guys down there, does any of them speak English?

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yes.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yes.

[Jonah (Caller)]

One of the. Yeah, one of them does, and the other two don't at all.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's what I would do, actually. This is what I would really do. Do. I would go to the guy who speaks good English, and you would say, hey, man, is it me or has there been a little bit of weirdness? Can you please tell Pierre we have no weirdness? We love you guys. There's no reason for awkwardness or sadness. And then go like, look, my wife's a babe. Everybody asks her out and they go, it would be weird if he didn't ask her out.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah, yeah. I would be offended.

[Jake Johnson]

I would be offended if nobody asked her out. I get it, but I can't communicate because my French is bad. But please let him know we really like him and we feel very friendly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would. Off of that idea, I would maybe perfect the French version of that so you can say it to him. Maybe work on the French version of that so you can feel comfortable saying something like that. So it's to him, but I like that idea.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah, I like that, too. Okay. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So what are you gonna do, Jon?

[Jake Johnson]

What are you gonna do, Jonah?

[Jonah (Caller)]

All right, I'm gonna go in with my wife, try and have a wine with them, suss out whether it is still weird after a bottle of wine. Because that might just solve it if it. If that's not sold, I'm gonna go in another time and practice how to say that conversation in French to him. Because I think if I rehearse it, I can say. I could say that.

[Jake Johnson]

I think that works. Murray, you got anything in closing before we get out of here?

[Ryan (Caller)]

No, I think you've done it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not you.

[Jake Johnson]

Hold on one second. Jonah. How about you, Murray? You Got anything?

[Jonah (Caller)]

I.

[Murray Bartlett]

You know, No, I think that's. I think it's a good idea. I. I am kind of, like, partial to the, like, talking through the friend, having a translator, just because I feel like it doesn't put him on the spot as much, and you kind of get to check it out a little bit with the friend first. But, you know, I think. I think there's some really good options here. I feel like you've got a little smorgasbord to choose from. I also like the. The song idea, but I, you know, you. You'll know which one feels right. You've got, you know, once you. Once you have the bottle of wine, like the little sort of, you know, bottle of wine on the stoop with those guys, you can kind of suss out what the. What the vibe is, and then you've got a few good choices.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And the good news is if you ever just need to dip out of there as fast as possible, you can just blame it on the cheese. So if it gets awkward, you can just hold your belly and run out, and they've probably already heard your diarrhea, so.

[Jake Johnson]

And leave your beautiful wife behind here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Upstairs.

[Murray Bartlett]

Lock the door.

[Jake Johnson]

Jonah, follow up with us. Okay.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Yep, we'll do. Thanks so much.

[Jake Johnson]

Thanks. Thank you for joining us, Murray.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bye. Yes, thank you, Murray.

[Murray Bartlett]

Yeah.

[Jonah (Caller)]

Thanks for the pleasure.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPodmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] heretohelp pod to see our entire catalog.

[Murray Bartlett]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis,

[Jake Johnson]

Jeff Porter, and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdyke, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Whitney or Alexan]

That was a headgum podcast. Hey, everyone, this is Whitney and Alexan, AKA the Popcorn Queen and King.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, guys.

[Murray Bartlett]

We just wanted to thank you so much for all the love and support

[Jake Johnson]

you've shown our family.

[Whitney or Alexan]

As many of you know from episodes 224 and 231 we're navigating Alexa's second kidney transplant journey.

[Murray Bartlett]

And that journey has really inspired us

[Jake Johnson]

to create the Arana Kidney Recovery Foundation.

[Whitney or Alexan]

That's right. The foundation helps transplant families with everyday expenses during recovery so they could focus on what's most important. Healing.

[Murray Bartlett]

Now, whether it's lodging, transportation, groceries, or

[Gareth Reynolds]

other essential expenses, we're here to help lighten the load.

[Whitney or Alexan]

If you'd like to support our mission, you can learn more or donate@aran krf.org that's aranakrf.org thank you so much for being such an incredible community.

[Jake Johnson]

And thank you for always being there to help.

[Whitney or Alexan]

Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Jake Johnson]

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that Was Us now on Headgum.

[Whitney or Alexan]

Each episode we're gonna go into a deep dive from our show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is us.

[Jake Johnson]

That's right.

[Whitney or Alexan]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonn in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[Jake Johnson]

Are we gonna cry?

[Murray Bartlett]

Yes, a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

Are we gonna laugh a lot?

[Ryan (Caller)]

A whole lot.

[Jake Johnson]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

[Jake Johnson]

And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, A new show coming to.

[Jake Johnson]

Coming to. That's what it is.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

[Jake Johnson]

And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to Headgum soon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Woo hoo.

[Jake Johnson]

Woo woo. I've learned a Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes. Every minute over is a minute to go.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Apparently there's only so much butthole you can take. We're gonna take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All of it.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Sometimes we don't make the right decisions. Jeff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've noticed that every.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Every so often with guests like Spike Jones.

[Jake Johnson]

I think let's commit to Jackass the podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What was it going to be called?

[Jonah (Caller)]

The Jackass Podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jackass Podcast.

[Jake Johnson]

Without you, the IQ drops significantly.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Steve O.

[Jake Johnson]

There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in clown makeup right this morning.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Chris Pontius, that shot of your butt

[Jake Johnson]

just cruising up, I'm like, yeah, I got that on tv. God bless us.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Dave England.

[Ryan (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

When you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like, damn it, Something bad's gonna happen to me.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Wee man.

[Jake Johnson]

Jeff grabbed me from the back of

[Murray Bartlett]

the head and threw a punch.

[Jake Johnson]

The whole bar just stopped and wanted

[Johnny Knoxville]

to kill me like, and some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning.

[Jake Johnson]

I had to share a room with this guy and I left a nice surprise in the toilet for him every time.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Apparently he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass, the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocket Cast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts.

[Jake Johnson]

Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram, Instagram and tick tock@jackassthepodcast. What were we just talking about?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Probably buttholes.