305: Raoul, Raoul and Raoul & Dr. Happy On The Inside (with David Wain)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We're Here to Help" Episode 305

Title: Raoul, Raoul and Raoul & Dr. Happy On The Inside (with David Wain)
Release Date: July 8, 2026
Host: Headgum
Main Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Special Guest: David Wain

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Episode Overview

This episode features comedic filmmaker and actor David Wain as a guest helper on “We’re Here to Help.” As always, hosts Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds field listener calls, offering advice that blends empathy and irreverence. Themes of the episode revolve around creative integrity, ego in collaboration, setting boundaries, and the intersection of humor and family life. Wain’s comedic sensibilities, plus behind-the-scenes talk about his new movie and background in the iconic sketch group The State, provide extra layers of entertainment.

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

• 00:35 – 07:00: David Wain chats about career, new film, and comedy origins
• 11:11 – 32:37: Call #1: Shannon, the "Bug Artist," seeks advice about a rival’s collaboration offer
• 35:54 – 66:45: Call #2: Alana & Nick, the “screen name” debate—balancing adult humor with family appropriateness

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1. David Wain Interview & Comedy Career (00:35 – 07:00)

Key Discussion Points

• Jake and David reminisce about their working relationship and mutual admiration.
• David talks about his upcoming movie, Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass, co-written with Ken Marino, featuring a star-packed cast and sold at Sundance—set for a July 10th release.
• The origins of iconic sketch group The State are recounted, highlighting college-era collaborations and ongoing friendships.
• David describes the rotating directorial roles and shared leadership among his comedy troupe, indicating a non-hierarchical, "post" system.
• Reflections on film vs TV: David expresses continued love for feature films but values creative fulfillment over medium. He enjoys guest-directing TV—specifically referencing his New Girl stint.

Notable Quotes

• “We just had a lot of fun is the main thing.” — David Wain (01:19)
• “What's cool about the group, over the many, you know, 35 years we've been doing different ways together is different people take on different posts at different points…there was never any specific factions.” — David Wain (04:36)
• “I don't want to ever stop doing feature films…But I think TV is incredible and can be, you know, just as exciting in every way.”—David Wain (05:43)

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2. Caller #1: Shannon, the Bug Artist (11:11 – 32:37)

Caller Situation

Shannon and her husband create intricate bug taxidermy shadow boxes. Another local artist, whose work Shannon finds subpar, proposes opening a joint shop selling both their oddities.

Main Issue

Shannon seeks advice:

• Is rejecting this collaborator snobbish or justified?
• How can she politely decline without burning bridges or seeming egotistical?

Key Discussion Points

• The hosts and David request Instagram photos of both artists’ work. David provides engaging, vivid critiques—praising Shannon’s artistry and critiquing the competitor’s cluttered, poorly lit displays.
• Everyone agrees Shannon’s work is objectively superior and empathizes with her hesitation to “downgrade her brand.”
• The conversation shifts to brainstorming strategies for a kind, assertive “no.”
• They playfully suggest decoy strategies—like a faux-business manager named "Raoul," or responding with boundary-setting, humorous emails to either deflect or overwhelm the offer.

Suggested Responses and Strategies

• Polite Decline (David’s advice):
  “Hey, Melanie. So really appreciate you reaching out. Really flattered that you’re interested in what I’m doing. Unfortunately, this setup doesn’t work for my professional goals at the moment. But again, thanks for reaching out and best of luck to you.” (23:36)
• Reverse Psychology: Make wild partnership demands (“$35,000 for the bat” etc.) to get the other party to withdraw.
• ‘Third Party’ Shield: Invent a business manager ("Raoul") to field the rejection, adding a humorous buffer.
• Escalate the Weirdness: Respond with confusing memes/photos, overcomplicated business terms, or relentless spam—until the other party loses interest.

Notable Quotes

• “We just had a lot of fun is the main thing.” — David Wain (01:19)
• “But what's cool about the group…is different people take on different posts at different points…It was just always reconfiguring in different ways.” — David Wain (04:36)
• “In the bug art world, we don’t break the wings.” — David Wain (21:36)
• “I think we solved this.” — David Wain (27:57)
• “Tell her you have a business manager named Raul. Start an email account, send it to us. We will respond for you.” — Jake Johnson (27:03)

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3. Caller #2: Alana & Nick — The “Screen Name” Conundrum (35:54 – 66:45)

Caller Situation

Alana’s husband Nick, AKA “Thick Nick/Dr. Girth M.D.,” uses explicit, penis-themed puns as screen names for streaming platforms, AirPods, and game consoles. With a baby daughter and new mom friends, Alana wants names that are still funny, but not R-rated.

Main Issue

How to keep Nick’s humor alive in their home (and marriage!) while choosing names suitable for kids and guests.

Key Discussion Points

• Alana shares Nick’s current screen name classics (“Thick Nick,” “Needed Your Mom,” “Horse Dick,” “Sick Dick Nick,” “Dr. Sticky Pants”).
• The group acknowledges the comedic gold, but stress the realities: parenthood means adjusting humor for a G/PG-13 audience.
• Nick resists, joking about the “machine” of censorship, but ultimately agrees to try.
• The hosts suggest making the names coded or gym-related as a compromise (“18 Inch Bicep,” “Pump Daddy,” “Horse Leg”), allowing double meanings that are safe for kids/friends.

Solutions & Creative Ideas

• Shift to fitness-themed usernames: “Thick Neck,” “Mr. Muscles,” “Exploding with Strength,” “Horse Leg”
• Use body parts in a non-explicit way: “Dr. Butt,” “Sticky Workout Gloves”
• Reward system: Nick comes up with a list of 10 coded names; Alana gets final say on which ones to use.
• Keep the ‘edgy’ names for private profiles or adults-only spaces.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “He’s putting NBC on the map. Oh, I don’t want to do this… There’s 9,000 other Nicks.” — Jake Johnson (52:09)
• “The name of the game is that if a neighbor sees this, they're going to think it's related to the workouts. But you and Alana know this is all about that awesome dick.” — Gareth Reynolds (61:21)
• “How about 18 inch bicep?” — Jake Johnson (59:33)
• Alana: “I would approve that.” (60:13)
• Nick: “I like those… There’s a lot to work with…I think I like that combo of great sexual innuendos.” (63:42)
• “I just want to say to preserve the magic…in a private area of your life, I still hope you can call yourself, you know, Dr. Girth M.D. and so on.” — David Wain (62:30)

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4. Memorable Moments

• David Wain’s Art Critique: His vivid, film director-style breakdowns of bug art add color and insight (16:42 – 20:31).
• "Raoul, Raoul & Raoul" Bit: The hosts run wild with the idea of a trio of business managers intimidating their bug art rival with bureaucracy and absurd demands (26:08 – 27:36).
• Screen Name Brainstorming: The group’s back-and-forth on how to “code” sexual humor into fitness, including the delicate line between “Dr. Butt” and “Horse Leg” (59:00 – 61:10), is prime “We’re Here to Help” improvisational comedy.

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5. Tone, Style, and Language

The episode’s tone is playful, unfiltered, and loaded with comedic riffing. Jake and Gareth let callers speak, but riffs, bits, and wild ideas bounce joyfully. David Wain fits seamlessly, offering both heartfelt and hilarious counsel. The language is casual, at times crude (intentionally!), and always driven by the goal of making everyday dilemmas feel both lighter and more manageable.

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6. Further Listening/Watching

At the episode’s end, the hosts promote:

• David Wain’s upcoming film, Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass (in theaters July 10th)
• Early access & back catalog on Hulu
• Patreon and YouTube availability

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Takeaway

This episode exemplifies "We’re Here to Help": sincerely intended advice, comic escalation, and good-natured camaraderie. David Wain’s comedic perspective elevates the episode, making it a must-listen for fans of comedy, life hacks, and creative problem-solving.

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Quick Reference Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------|-------------| | David Wain Interview | 00:35–07:00 | | Caller #1: Shannon & Bug Art | 11:11–32:37 | | Caller #2: Alana & Nick’s Screen Names | 35:54–66:45 |

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Best Quotes:

• “In the bug art world, we don't break the wings.”—David Wain (21:36)
• “The name of the game is that if a neighbor sees this, they're going to think it's related to the workouts. But you and Alana know this is all about that awesome dick.”—Gareth Reynolds (61:21)
• “Maybe the three of us will call her on the phone... Raoul, Raoul, and Raoul. We're all named Raouls and we're brothers.” — Jake Johnson (27:17)

Transcript

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

This is a Headgum podcast. This is a Headgum podcast.

[Jake Johnson]

And we are back. We have a special episode with the great David Wayne. David, you and I met. You directed an episode of New Girl.

[David Wain]

That's right. That was the first time.

[Jake Johnson]

And we were outside in Dodger Stadium. I remember.

[David Wain]

Yeah. We were doing a running race.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, we were doing a running race. I've been a fan for a long time, and we were all really excited you came and did our show. I think it brought a lot of validity to us and thank you for that.

[David Wain]

Fandom is mutual. I'm, like, choked up. I'm so excited.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And we just finished the calls, and you did great. How did you feel? What did you think? Without giving any spoilers away to the calls, but we had two bangers today.

[David Wain]

I think people are going to like these calls. I do think we met some interesting real people and we solved some problems. And I feel like big problems. We just had a lot of fun is the main thing.

[Jake Johnson]

I think so, too. And you got a movie coming out. Will you tell us a little bit, this great audience about your movie, all the good stuff.

[David Wain]

I made this movie very exciting about it with Ken Marino, and it's called Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass. And it stars Zoe Deutch and John Slattery and Dan Wong, Joe Lucullio and Jon Hamm. And it's about a woman who has a celebrity sex pass agreement with her husband to be and then he coincidentally meets his celebrity and has sex with her. And so she finds herself in Los Angeles and embarks on this journey to find Jon Hamm and have sex with him in order to even the score and save her relationship.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's such a good idea.

[Jake Johnson]

That's a really funny idea. And you and Ken wrote it?

[David Wain]

Me and Ken Reno wrote it and I directed it. And it's a very funny movie. And it comes out July 10th.

[Jake Johnson]

And is it gonna be theaters? What's the release plan?

[David Wain]

Yeah, it's in theaters. Sony Pictures Classics.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, great.

[David Wain]

We took this to Sundance and sold it there, and we're super duper excited about it. It's really. It's awesome. And has a string of incredible cameos as well.

[Jake Johnson]

What a blast. And what I know you and Ken and latruglia and all those guys. You. I know you and latrugla met at college, but what was the origin of how you guys all started met, then started your sketch group? How did that all begin?

[David Wain]

We all, a bunch of like 11 of us met in college and started this group, the State, which then had a show on mtv, and this group of comedians kept working together through all the decades and we still do. In fact, most of them are in this movie.

[Jake Johnson]

Amazing. So how does. So, yeah, so I was at nyu.

[David Wain]

I was going to just say we have this middle aged dad jam band and we're going to be touring in July in the East Coast.

[Jake Johnson]

No way.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So I, you know, I was at NYU and I had a sketch group. So we always all referenced and thought about you guys because you guys were one of the first, like kind of cool sketch groups that were. Seemed like you guys were doing it on your own.

[David Wain]

That's.

[Jake Johnson]

And it didn't feel. It felt like different than Kids in the Hall. It was very different from snl and

[Gareth Reynolds]

it was so different for MTV at the time too.

[Jake Johnson]

But it was like the beginning of like, oh, this is cool. And closer to a world and a taste that we all like. How did that all form for you guys? We were just in classes or dorms.

[David Wain]

We just. Well, actually I was in a different sketch group at NYU that this guy Mo Willems formed, who went on to become a huge children's book author. And we had to. The school required us to have new members come in the group and we didn't want to. So we, one of the guys from our group started like a JV Squad B team, and that group became the State.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, no way.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Wow.

[David Wain]

And.

[Jake Johnson]

And who was the one? Because I feel like with every group and Gareth and I were in a group of people where we were in a community in la. Who was the one that had like the business sense to say, like, you know, there's always like really funny people. And then someone's like, we should shoot this and do this and get launch. As opposed to just being the funniest guys in the bar and doing that at like a theater.

[David Wain]

I mean, I definitely was one of the more logistically minded one. You were.

[Jake Johnson]

That's what I figured.

[David Wain]

But also, I mean, there were two of us that were directors more. Me and Michael, Patrick, Jan. And so we ended up being, you know, being the directors on the TV show we did. But what's cool about the group, over the many, you know, 35 years we've been doing different ways together is different people take on different posts at different points. And, you know, there was never any specific factions. It was just always reconfiguring in different ways.

[Jake Johnson]

And so this movie came out. When did, when did you guys shoot it? Was this.

[David Wain]

We shot it a year ago. And we put it. Yeah, it's just like a classic, very, you know, fairly low budget, independent, shot here in LA on location. And it's, it's, it's. I'm very happy with it. I'm really excited about it.

[Jake Johnson]

And what are you doing any. And what is your thought? Just now? Curious. Even though it seems like a personal question with work, but just do it on a podcast because I guess that's how people talk now, including myself. That's how I socialize. What do you think about tv? Where's your head at with it? Are you doing. Are you more interested in movies?

[David Wain]

Not necessarily at all. I mean, I definitely always. I don't want to ever stop doing feature films, which I hadn't. I haven't actually done a feature since Feudal Stupid Gesture, which was about nine years ago. But I think TV is incredible and can be, you know, just as exciting in every way. Like right now I'm rewatching Mad Men with my son. So I don't. I think the platform is less for me as a creator, the less important than just getting to do something that I feel real about and that I like with people that I. That I want to work with and stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

Would you ever guest direct anymore or would you just do pilots in your.

[David Wain]

Totally.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Oh, I love it.

[David Wain]

Okay, cool. I love when. I love that experience. And New Girl was, I think, maybe the first time I ever did it.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, I remember the conversations about it where you were like, well, this was different.

[David Wain]

Yeah. But I really. I love the change up of doing something where it's not 100% on my shoulders, but I'm coming in sort of more surgically to direct this one thing and bring in my point of view to this one episode. I like that.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Well, you're great at it. Well, thank you for joining our show. I'm truly excited to see this movie. It sounds really funny.

[David Wain]

Thanks, guys. And excited for the people to hear the calls.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Also a big deal. Also a big deal.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Great.

[Jake Johnson]

These are winners. And I think, honestly, I do think

[David Wain]

we helped me too,

[Gareth Reynolds]

considering where we started.

[David Wain]

You know, for those of us in the helping trades, when we make a little progress. That's why. That's why we do it.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, that's why we do it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely.

[Jake Johnson]

And to promote NF's and to promote

[David Wain]

Gail Daughtry and the celebrity sex Pass. Opening July 10th.

[Jake Johnson]

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[David Wain]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Hello.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi there. Welcome to the show. Can we get your name please?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

My name is Shannon.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Hi, Shannon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where are you calling from, Shannon?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

I'm calling from Virginia.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Beautiful. How old roughly? Not to be prying, I am 38. 38. Well, Shannon, 38, Virginia. We're going to get right into it. You've got me, you've got Jake, and we have a great helper today. We have the awesome David Wayne stepping in. So you got three surgeons working on this body.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Wow.

[Jake Johnson]

We're excited. We're excited to have David with us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

David's the best.

[Jake Johnson]

He could really help you, Shannon.

[David Wain]

Yeah, I'm gonna help you, Shannon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So there you go.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

I'm looking forward to it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So now you have to take.

[Jake Johnson]

Do you have any questions for Shannon before we start? Just to loosen her up a little bit and let us as kind of doctors hear about the patient.

[David Wain]

I know you said you're 38, but like, are you just 38? Are you like getting closer to 39? I'm. That's sort of what I need to know.

[Jake Johnson]

That's interesting.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Oh, well, okay. I turned 38 in March.

[David Wain]

Oh, so you're just like a brand new spring chicken?

[Gareth Reynolds]

38 freshie.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Exactly.

[David Wain]

Welcome to 38.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So then what would your sign be, Shannon at 38?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Oh, gosh, I think it's Aries.

[Jake Johnson]

And what does Aries mean to you? Are you an Aries?

[Gareth Reynolds]

They never know their signs.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

I'm gonna be honest that's all I know.

[Jake Johnson]

Shannon, what's the problem today? What do we got? That was a dead end.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Sorry.

[Jake Johnson]

Because I don't know. I don't know anything about Aries either. Go.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yeah. Great. Cool. All right. So I am what I would call a bug artist. You know what that would.

[David Wain]

You are a bug and you're an artist.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Exactly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

38 is a great age for a bug. It's a hell of a life.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Yeah.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

So what that would entail is basically like bug taxidermy. Think taxidermy, but tiny.

[Jake Johnson]

And like, I like this six plus legs.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

And I put art and put bugs and all things into shadow boxes and, like, glass cases.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Wow.

[Jake Johnson]

You gotta watch my husband.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Jake's obviously interested. Oh, I. Oh, beautiful.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Wow.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

I know you when all things bugs. So I don't have a website, but, I mean, my. I have my Instagram that I mainly work off of.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm not really cool. Shannon, give yourself. Give yourself a plug here. Because I'm a guy who buys weird stuff. Stuff. And this is right in the wheelhouse. Yeah, it looks beautiful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It really does.

[Jake Johnson]

So give. Give yourself a quick.

[David Wain]

Here.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

So my. My Instagram handle is like a moth to a frame.

[Jake Johnson]

Cool. All right. This is really cool.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Are you looking at the pictures?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

What's happening right now? Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, sorry.

[Jake Johnson]

So we see a blue butterfly right now and a little thing with, like, mushrooms on the bottle. This is cool stuff. Yeah.

[David Wain]

I gotta say, you know, it's a batch. Shannon, you might not know this, but I'm a pretty accomplished filmmaker, and I'm going to tell you, the lighting is beautiful, too.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Oh, wow. Thank you. That is my front door entrance.

[Jake Johnson]

So I got to tell you, I am not an accomplished filmmaker and I did not even notice the lighting. So, Shannon, this is really cool stuff.

[David Wain]

We're liking what you're kind of reluctant to get to what her problem is.

[Jake Johnson]

I know right now it's just been a sales pitch and it's been great. We're interested. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we're. Yeah, we're looking to get that.

[David Wain]

Check out my Instagram. We get it.

[Jake Johnson]

You hustle.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

That's it. Goodbye.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Damn it.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

This isn't a little bit.

[Jake Johnson]

You know, it is. Sometimes on Shark Tank, people come in and they don't want a deal. They just want to plug their product.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's hope that's not this, Shannon, because it's working well.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Good. All right, so a little bit about us. So my husband actually makes the shadow boxes, and then I spread the specimen and decorate everything. I've been doing it for about six years. It started as a Covid shutdown board thing. And I think we've gotten pretty good. We were very niche. But recently someone has contacted me that also does something similar locally and she wants to open a shop that has antiques and oddities both in the shop. And let me say it nicely that her stuff is not up to what I would expect from someone else.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yes. So I. What I'm asking from you, I guess, is a few different things. Am I being a snob? Is this my ego? Am I over estimating my own talent? Or. I would like you to help me come up with an A response back to her. Well, basically saying absolutely not, because so

[David Wain]

you already know the answer is no. You're trying to figure out how to say it, or is it that you're not sure exactly.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Did you see the photos of her thing?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

No.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Items.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can't wait. I was gonna ask.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, yeah, let's see.

[David Wain]

What's her. What's her Instagram?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, actually, we asked.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, sorry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We asked Shannon for these pictures, but you know, we're reluctant to show them

[Jake Johnson]

because we don't have this other person's permission. I'll show them to you guys, but. And then, David, will you describe what you're seeing while you're seeing it? And we'll just not show the image. But yeah, David will give us a picture.

[David Wain]

I'm a visual stylist, so.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The lighting, all that stuff is describing

[Jake Johnson]

things, you know, a great director.

[David Wain]

Meanwhile, Shannon, while we're waiting for that to queue up, I can tell you that. So what you're trying to say, if I could shorten it to three words, is thanks, but no thanks. And when I say three, I mean four.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I think you need every word in there so that it's four.

[Jake Johnson]

I do.

[David Wain]

Because if you said thanks, but thanks,

[Jake Johnson]

then you could also go, thanks, but no works.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thanks, but no works. Yeah. Or, but no thanks.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, we're looking here, David, what are we seeing?

[David Wain]

So this is the competition here. I'm seeing it. Yeah. Not first of all, terrible lighting. It looks like a turtle with a ping pong ball.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yeah. I can't figure out what the ping pong balls are.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. I have to be on the other side of this. I don't think this is that bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think after seeing what she does and this, I, I, David and Gareth,

[Jake Johnson]

you both think this is leaps and bounds. Better.

[David Wain]

I will confess I'm biased a little bit because I'm on Shannon's side.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[David Wain]

But I also really don't understand. It's sort of a mess. We got the turtle.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's what I feel like. I feel like it's a little. It's busy.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[David Wain]

What? You got another. Okay, there's some. Some butterflies in a picture frame that looks like starry night, but the butterflies are on top of the sort of matte frame. What else?

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[David Wain]

And then we have a moth sort of in a mess of dried flowers, also in a frame with, like, little star. I could see why this might not be your cup of tea.

[Jake Johnson]

You have a little more taste.

[David Wain]

Yep. And then we've got, like, some sort of crustacean old skeleton that's, like, in with some dried flowers, snake and a moth, and then with some wallpaper behind it. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, it looks like a snake skeleton in a potpourri wreath.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, I'm hearing it. Is that all? Now can we go back and see yours?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the thing, I think. Seeing yours now. I know what's.

[Jake Johnson]

Let's do the same thing. David, describe these as honestly as you can now.

[David Wain]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Same pitch. You're a judge on one of these shows.

[David Wain]

So we've got. This is like, almost like a floral bouquet of different materials that she's put together in kind of like a ceramic dish. And there's some. I think they either shells or. But they look like rabbit ears or maybe they are rabbit ears.

[Gareth Reynolds (or possibly a guest)]

Oh.

[David Wain]

And there's, like, some mushrooms and flowers. And it's got a cohesiveness to it that, you know, only an artist could put together. And it looks like some old tarot cards behind there.

[Jeff Tremaine]

It's gorgeous.

[Jake Johnson]

I feel like I'm on right now in a way that I feel really excited about. I feel like I'm on one of those reality shows on, like, Netflix where it's like they all do makeup artists, and I see the makeup as the same. But then the judge comes in, and I go. I hear what the judge is saying. That is a really sloppy base.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[David Wain]

See, I was having a flashback to when I used to read books for the blind on audio recordings, and I had to describe all the pictures.

[Jake Johnson]

Interesting. Describe this one, David.

[David Wain]

This is incredible. This is a bat inside a glass coffin, A small glass coffin the size of a bat. And then there's some other little vegetation in there, all dried, obviously dead. And it's got a real thematic unity to it. And then here's another one of the similar glass coffin, but it has a butterfly, a beautiful blue butterfly, and some mushrooms and flowers. And other things. Very nice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It really is.

[Jake Johnson]

By the way, David, you should be a judge on one of these shows. It's very smooth. Your voice is right.

[David Wain]

Maybe this is the new business opportunity. The boat Bug Art reality shows. We got the artists. You know you're gonna win in your local area.

[Jake Johnson]

But by the way, Bug art is. A reality show would be great. I mean, look at what else they make.

[David Wain]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

They literally have. Is it cake? And it's a big hit.

[David Wain]

I think people will get obsessed with it. And now it won't just be your thing anyway. This is really cool. I think this is such a cool thing you do. You say you started during the pandemic.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Yeah, I did.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. So look, Shannon, I'm gonna say from David's eyes and Gara seems supporting it. You're just way more talented.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you not see it? I. Do you not agree?

[Jake Johnson]

I see what David's saying about the. It's sloppier the other ones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Well, I would like to point out that the large moth that she has. I don't know if you look closely, but the one of the wings looks like it's broken off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it's so funny.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

I believe she was selling that for $80.

[David Wain]

And in the bug art world, we don't break the wings.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

We don't break the wings.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The faux pas of the shit talk and the bu. Taxidermy world.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

It's fat.

[Jake Johnson]

But so, girl. How much does.

[David Wain]

How much. We're broke.

[Jake Johnson]

But that's what the judge would say on the reality show.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She's all glue.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So I got a question for you, Shannon. What is your stuff so far? Is that when you said 80? Does that mean it's cheap or expensive?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

I mean, I personally would not put something like that out for sale, period.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, but how much is the bat in the coffin?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

The bat in the coffin is more like $200.

[David Wain]

I'll Venmo you now.

[Jake Johnson]

I'll go 250. I'll go 250. Actually, I'll just buy all the other ladies stuff for 150. And then I'll take it out of the coffins and just have the weird bugs. Sir, take the coffin back. I'll give you 50 bucks.

[David Wain]

Are you communicating with this woman via email or text or on the phone or whatever?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

What?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

She messaged me on Instagram.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

So now I'm going to ask David to do something. I'm going to put you on the spot, and if you not comfortable, then let's not do it. But David as long as I shirt on. Okay, never mind. Gareth, do you mind taking your shirt off?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not a problem, buddy.

[Jake Johnson]

Bring. Bring the relief picture. David, can we just start you as if you were AI and we were penning an email to this response. What's the nicest way to say no? I'm not offended by it, but I don't want to. Don't follow up with me again. You're my competition and you are lesser. But thank you for the opportunity, but we are not going to become a thing together. And I don't want to. Like, if I was AI.

[David Wain]

How about just. If I'm a smart person and just giving advice.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, so you're talking about I. But what I. The reason I say AI is sometimes you can do it in a way that's a little bit more generic.

[David Wain]

Here's what I would say. You would say, hey, Melanie. So really appreciate you reaching out. Really flattered that you're interested in what I'm doing. Unfortunately, this setup doesn't work for my professional goals at the moment. But again, thanks for reaching out, and best of luck to you.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth, your spin, I think that's great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I think the. There's also the opportunity to make her not want to work with you, because maybe you have crazy asks or pitches for what you want to do in this partnership.

[Jake Johnson]

Make her pass.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, like, maybe there's a way to get her to never want to talk to you again, but you just seem like you're being earnest.

[Jake Johnson]

Maybe. Go ahead, David.

[David Wain]

I have one other idea, which is you could be like, oh, and by the way, I need to get back to you later because I have a horrible body odor issue and I have to deal with that. And then I'll message you more later.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Another thing you could do is go, I'm not gonna leave my stuff in, but I will have images to send you. My prices are included. $35,000 for the bat, 18,5 for the butterf. And she's like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or you ask for a percentage of what she sells and you keep 100% of yours.

[Jake Johnson]

Or you say, ooh, that's really interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You could also. I mean, you really could go crazy. You could be like. As long as you can do a cremation ceremony of the insides of the animal in the shop.

[Jake Johnson]

Or, Gareth, I would go pretty clean on this. You know what I would say, Shannon? I would say in a letter, thank you so much for the opportunity. Go ahead, Gary.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you could enjoy maybe making some terrible taxidermy to just bug taxidermy to Give her to put. Like, you could just, for a laugh, make some awful words. Like, you're talking about gluing a wing on to you as a big faux pas. You know, you could leave, like, Elmer's super glue in the thing. And it's part you. You really could almost offend the arc.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Yes.

[David Wain]

You could also say, and I'm so excited because I want the store to be called Shannon's Bug Art. And I'm gonna have a neon sign

[Jake Johnson]

that you're gonna pay for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Or be like, we should only we should open midnight to noon. Just make her think that. Like, you don't. You know, just right away, it's like, I don't want to get in bed with this person.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's a clean. I think all these are good pictures, Shannon. I think there's something really clean, and that is. Thank you so much for the opportunity. After looking at all the work work. I think there's something we could do here. I'm happy to sell mine, but we need to discuss the percentage I would get off selling yours, because I do think new people would come in based off my art. So would it be a hundred percent for me on mine? And then do you want to do 70, 30 on all your remaining products? To which she would go, oh, no, yeah, I will, obviously, because I pay the rent. I. I would. And then you'd go, oh, you do. Oh, you just want a percentage of mine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You could also be like, I'm going to. This sounds interesting. I'm going to hand you off to my social media manager and business person, Raul, who will pitch you what version of this works for me? And you can just start saying stuff like that. We just need 30% of what you make, and you can't display any winged animals.

[Jake Johnson]

Why don't we do this, actually, Shannon, tell her you have a business manager named Raul. Start an email account, send it to us. We will respond for you. We will get you out of this fast, fast. And then say you're gonna get blocked.

[David Wain]

Maybe the three of us will call her on the phone and be like, hi, we're the business team, and we need to go over a bunch of bullet points with you.

[Jake Johnson]

Raul, Raul and Raul. We're all named Raul's and we're brothers, the three Rauls.

[David Wain]

And we'll say, when can you carve out three hours for a zoom to

[Jake Johnson]

go over this stuff as well as when we come, we need to see the shop. Is there a shower and a place for us to sleep? We will be there for about 10 days. What is your food situation?

[David Wain]

And also send over all your financials to us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

What's your Social Security?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Send us pictures of the toilet and all of your tax documents.

[David Wain]

I think we solved this.

[Jake Johnson]

But, Shannon, what do you think about that? Literally saying really nice stuff. I do have somebody who's helping me with the business side of it. I could put you, maybe even say,

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm terrible at business. So I've hired someone to help me with this.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. So if you want to be in touch with him in. There's an email. Start an email, send us the thing. So you're on it too, so you can read everything. You could also just start responding for

[Gareth Reynolds]

you, because of my gambling debts, I have to throw out a pretty wild split.

[Jake Johnson]

Or you say because of my old addictions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, because of my addictions. Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Shannon, we've given you a lot of options.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then maybe just a picture of you with your tongue out, kind of looking up and being like, kind of like super, super too much right away.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Like.

[Jake Johnson]

Like. You mean like a cute. I'm silly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[David Wain]

Yeah, with a red plastic party cup.

[Jake Johnson]

Cup.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, with a party cup. And then a bat.

[Jake Johnson]

Like, oh, by the way, you know what you could do is just respond with that photo. Send a photo of you with, like, weird stuff in your hair doing a cute thing, and then going this, sorry, wrong person. And then when she goes like, oh, it's okay. Then later, send her another weird meme of, like, horses fighting, and they go like, sorry, wrong person. And she's like, I think she's weird, and just send her, like, four or five random photos over and be like. Like, I can't believe I keep doing this. Then you'd be like, whoopsie. Lol.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I mean, if you just.

[David Wain]

Or you just keep spamming her with, like, links and tiktoks and lists. You think? And now that you're like, friends.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Way too much.

[Gareth Reynolds (or possibly a guest)]

Really.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, putting stuff, though, if you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you sent like, a weird top 10 list, and then also after that was a picture of you lighting a joint with a flaming bat wing. You know, and then you just write back, like, I'm bad with numbers. How does this work? Like, she's.

[Jake Johnson]

You could also.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great way to get her to leave.

[Jake Johnson]

You could also lean into. She's your best friend now, and you don't have a lot of friends. Oh, yeah, I haven't.

[David Wain]

Oh, I have. I have another idea that is a little bit simpler. Don't respond.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you for the call. Take care, Shannon. What do you think you're gonna do? We've given you a lot of options.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

I really like the idea of you guys being involved. Throwing it on to you guys. Yeah. Would you make a whole new email address?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You're gonna make an email address.

[David Wain]

Create an email.

[Jake Johnson]

Create an email address, get a password so you're part of it too. And then send that to her. And then email us that with the password. And then we'll check it and we'll write back and you'll check it too. And then we'll get to the bottom of it.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Okay. And what do you pitch the email address to be?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Raul. Raul.

[Jake Johnson]

Raul Associates at gmail dot com.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we. I mean, we. We could create.

[David Wain]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No aids taken. And we can definitely creep around wanting to work with you fast.

[Jake Johnson]

And then you just say to her, I've been working with business managers as I'm trying to launch this. It's a guy I found during the pandemic online. He's great. He's been really helpful to me and he's really filling me with confidence.

[David Wain]

I don't want to create extra work for myself, but we might have to put up a little website for this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The truth is too. It's like, if the website is terrible, that's great.

[David Wain]

Yeah, yeah. It could be a 1, 1 minute Squarespace template, you know?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, exactly.

[Jake Johnson]

The show will pay for the. Let's just get a website.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And then. So just wait. We're gonna create.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Three of you need to get photos done at like a JCPenney.

[Jake Johnson]

It can't be us. It's going to be weird images of people we find online. It'll be. It's gonna just be a we, our voices. Or one of our voices is going to be weird text and it's gonna be a photo of some guy maybe from like Ecuador in 1985.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just like a quote with two brothers. Aggression is everything.

[David Wain]

This is between this and the bug art reality show. We got a lot of stuff cooking here.

[Jake Johnson]

We got a lot of stuff coming. All right, so Shannon, Gareth is going to follow up. Gareth, are you running point on this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I'll talk. I'll talk to Amy about running point on this, but I'll run point to point.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. And then connect Amy with Shannon and we'll get started.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

And I'll forward you her email or Natalie will.

[David Wain]

More real.

[Jake Johnson]

Jesse will.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, great.

[David Wain]

Just fax me everything and I'll make sure to follow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fax that over. Can you fax a bat?

[Jake Johnson]

Try Shannon. Thank you for the call

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

and we

[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

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[David Wain]

Hello caller, how's it going? Who's this?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Hello, this is Alana.

[David Wain]

Hi Alana, my name is David Wayne. I'm a guest helper here with with the other two. So we got three of us today and we are very excited to hear about you and your problem. Where are you calling from?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

I am calling from Florida.

[David Wain]

Florida? What part?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

North Florida. Jacksonville area.

[David Wain]

Oh, terrific area.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Thank you.

[David Wain]

Do you remember, do you remember Rock 105, that old radio station in Jacksonville years ago. Doesn't matter.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

I do not.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm gonna guess from her voice she does not remember Rock 105.

[David Wain]

That sort of dead silence and horror.

[Jake Johnson]

She's like, wait, there used to be a radio station before radio.

[David Wain]

Anyway, that was really fun small talk but now we'd love to hear what is on your mind that we can help you with today.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Absolutely. So just to set it up for you, I am married to my wonderful husband and we have a almost. Yeah, he's amazing. We have an almost 10 month old daughter right now. Oh, congrats and thank you. And he is very much like Jake Garrett energy. And I would say I'm more of the Natalie energy and our relationship.

[Jake Johnson]

You're talking about your husband?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yes, yes. He's the funny energy. I'm definitely the serious energy a little bit. And since I have not.

[Jake Johnson]

It's you calling in. Yeah, tell him to give us a call.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, this is great.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Sorry oh, great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Natalie.

[Jake Johnson]

Just cause you said Natalie. I was being mean to her. Yeah, but keep going, Alana.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

So since I've known him, he really enjoys naming like all his screen name. Screen name accounts. Something that is a pun usually about his penis.

[David Wain]

And that's very funny.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

This has been. It is funny ever since I've known. He thinks it's hilarious. Yes.

[David Wain]

It's clever and it's also about something and he's not afraid to say something. But anyway, I'm on your side, obviously. Continue.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

She would appreciate that. Yes. So my question is, we have a daughter who's going to be growing up in the house and I'm at the point where I'm desperately trying to make friends with new moms and be like, our house is a wonderful place, come hang out with me and my daughter. And the really overt screen names kind of take away from that. And I'm also a little afraid that like her first words she's learning to read are going to be really inappropriate. But I would love to pitch him some alternative names that would still make him laugh, but that are not about his penis.

[David Wain]

So let me ask you something.

[Jake Johnson]

Go ahead, David.

[David Wain]

I'm sorry, I'm just curious when you say all of his screen, like how many different. He's got lots of different accounts that he's continuously setting up or on Different.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yeah, you know how like streaming services, others A million now.

[David Wain]

Oh, I see all of those.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

So like you go in to log in to watch a movie. It's right there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can we hear some of these?

[Jake Johnson]

That's what I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Before we change the way he operates, let's just hear why it's wrong to you.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Okay? Yes, absolutely. We have thick neck, aka Dr. Girth MD. That's our Hulu account.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So they're like, they're like pornhub account names. Should point out. We're all laughing. Quite hard

[David Wain]

to like hang out.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, I thought that was actually better. And I honestly thought I wasn't going to like them and I was going to go like, all right, just tell them to stop. But that's not bad for a. What's another one? Yeah.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Then we have Needed your mom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry, what was that one again?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Needed your mom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Needed.

[David Wain]

Needed.

[Jake Johnson]

With a K or with an like meat?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm sorry, I do have to ask. How is he spelling me? Just so I know.

[Jake Johnson]

M, E A T E, D. That's a shame. Okay, okay. And that's which account?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

That's our Xbox.

[Jake Johnson]

Xbox.

[David Wain]

What's the password on that one?

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, how about Another one, then the

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

most recent one that honestly kind of bit him in the butt was his AirPods were just simply horse sticks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why did that bite him?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Because he lost him at the gym and I was explaining to him now if someone tries to connect to them to see like, oh, maybe I can see this person's name, they are not gonna know that you are.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, they might know it's him. It's depending on what he's got in between his legs.

[David Wain]

How old is your husband?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

He is 30.

[Jake Johnson]

This is pretty.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

We also have the husband in the waiting room if you want to talk to him.

[Jake Johnson]

I would say let's wait a little bit. We gotta because we know what's gonna happen. We're gonna steamroll Alana. If he comes in, we're gonna want

[Gareth Reynolds]

to high five him through a zoom.

[Jake Johnson]

And so. Okay, so and what you're saying, because you're our caller, we are gonna stay with you. You want these always on the side? Yeah. Because I also do understand what you're saying. You have a 10 month old girl and culture thing you're talking about. And in Jacksonville, I don't think some mom who might be a great neighbor and a friend to you, you might get in like a book club with her. She might help you in a moment of need. If you get pregnant again, I don't think she's going to think it's funny that needed your mom or your Dr. Girth.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

These people are perverts. We can never come over here again.

[Jake Johnson]

Or you know, it could also happen. And this is, it's sad but true. Is is they might go, they're funny. He's funny. I just don't know if I want little Janie sleeping over there.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yes, exactly.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't want his air. But. And then she says to her husband, the husband goes, it's funny. And he goes, his earbuds are called horse dick. You go like, all right, let's just hang out with the other neighbors. So I, I, I am hearing you, but. So that's why I don't want him on.

[David Wain]

Is he the same on like more public facing, like Instagram or and stuff stuff or it's like email or what?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Not an Instagram as much. No.

[David Wain]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

It's just a.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Absolutely would be if he could get away with it. But I think he does know, like he needs a job and all that.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah.

[David Wain]

Right. Okay. Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And quick question for you too, because you do seem very different than this character. What drew you to them? How long you been together? What's the Love story there.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

We've been together for seven years. And honestly, I love that he's funny. Like, I love that he does random stuff like that. That he doesn't care about. That, like, we're very opposite. But that's the thing I love about us. So that's why I wanted to call you guys, because I'm not trying to kill the humor in our life.

[David Wain]

You don't want to yuck his yum too much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Right. I'm not saying.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, look, this is tough, obviously, because the SEC. I still keep thinking about his AirPods being horse dick. And it. It's good that to me works and

[Jake Johnson]

I understand, and I'm doing that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, obviously it's something. Jake has adult children who are older.

[David Wain]

Mine, while we were talking.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, fine. I'm horse dick too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would love to be called horse dick as well. But again, Alana, we're not. We're compliments to the chef on that. But like we said, we will maybe move you in a direction. Do we want to start Jake with maybe pitching her the solves before we go to the husband with what we're doing?

[Jake Johnson]

Or we bring him in? What do you guys think?

[David Wain]

Maybe we get him. Just get. Maybe it is time to just hear his perspective. But let's not get into a big back and forth too much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And also, let's not. Like you were saying, let's. We're gonna love this guy. We already love this guy.

[Jake Johnson]

So maybe. Let's see.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So who.

[Jake Johnson]

Who wants to. David, you want to run point with this guy? You want me to.

[David Wain]

Let's just get the basics and he doesn't have to repeat what we already know.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. So take over, David.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, sending him in now. Thank you.

[David Wain]

His name is Nick.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, Thick Nick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love him.

[David Wain]

Where is he? Hello? Nick, are you there?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Yeah, I'm here.

[David Wain]

Oh, you're there. So is this. This is Thick Nick, aka Dr. Girth M.D.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

that's correct. That's him.

[David Wain]

So you know why your wife is calling us, right?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Yeah, she briefed me.

[David Wain]

Okay. So we don't need to repeat the basics of the situation. So, you know, I think it sounds like her point in the simplest of terms is that. Not that you're. We want to, you know, tamper down or put a lid on your. Her awesome sense of humor, which. Which, by the way, the three of us are real on board with, it's good stuff.

[Jake Johnson]

Horse dick, but it's more like if.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I thought you guys would like that. It's great.

[Jake Johnson]

Good stuff.

[David Wain]

But, you know, you do have your 10 month old daughter and you've got new, you know, people coming in the house, families, parents and so forth. And why not just adjust some of those accounts and screen names, let your humor fly and flourish in other areas at those times and places where it's asked for more instead of just coming up, maybe in the.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, you know what? Actually, I got a pitch going off of what David just set up, because I think we were. I think we might be near a bullseye. Thick Nick, I think we're loving everything you're cooking. We're excited about that big old horse dick of yours. We love the girth that you're letting the neighborhood know you got. I love that you needed your mom. But what if we go? Well, first of all, Nick, have we missed any, Any home runs? We've missed

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Dr. Sticky Pants, the one that I had to change because Amazon, my grandma started using our Amazon account, was sick dick, Nick. And I had to, she said, why is this on my tv? I need to change this now.

[Jake Johnson]

Let me ask you a real question.

[David Wain]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Let me ask you a real question, my man. How you doing downstairs? Are you a horse dick? Are you a regular guy?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I'm pretty confident down there.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so you're, you're rocking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can back up.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I mean, I'm Italian.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Horse Dick

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

1 has actually come to bite me in the dick when I lost my AirPods at the gym.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What happened?

[Jake Johnson]

Well, no one could find.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I had to go to the front and they, they, they had them, but they were like, what's your name? And I was like, oh, my name's Nick. But the airpods say horse stick.

[Jake Johnson]

And what did they say?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The gym?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

They said they actually gave me a free membership after that.

[David Wain]

So you know what's not true? You know, you know what I think, Dr. Girth? I think that you probably, you obviously have a need to express this part of yourself and we all want that to be there, but you just. This isn't the place. No, but here, but here's the other place.

[Jake Johnson]

But here's my pitch on that. David, let's say, let's say we're going to pull you into our business a little bit. You have a show idea, and your show, Nick, is that you like to do these names on accounts. And you think you sold it to hbo. Well, guess what? Network TV just bought it. So you can't do Thick dick. You can't do Dr. Girth MD on CBS. That's HBO, brother. So how do we still get the laughs on network tv because they're paying you for the laugh, so you can't go, well, it's network. No, it sucks. Well, grow up. You get a laugh at whatever network you're on. King.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you're. We're. I think Jake's saying you've got to go through the network notes, which can be hard, but COMED can still exist.

[David Wain]

Can I speak from experience?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[David Wain]

I made a series of shorts many years ago called the Stella Shorts, and it was. A lot of it was about three guys running around with a big dildo and doing other things that were very inappropriate. And then we got a show on Comedy Central, and they were like, so guys can't do any of that stuff. And our first instinct was like. Like that this is what we do. But then we realized, no, we can. We can take the spirit of it, but put it into. And so maybe. Maybe what? I don't know if this is what you're pitching, Jake. Maybe you keep the spirit of these screen names, but make them a little more coded.

[Jake Johnson]

Coded.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, that's exactly right. A little bit more. A little bit more network friendly because

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

it rhymes with Nick. That's kind of the thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I think.

[Jake Johnson]

How about this? How about this thick stick?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Is that better?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, I've hit.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I mean, to a child, though.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

All right, four. Stick with my air, that one.

[David Wain]

How about.

[Jake Johnson]

We're talking about moms in the neighborhood that Alana's gonna want to socialize with. And I say this as a dad of daughters. My kids are now 12. You're going to have all these little girls at your house. They're going to be running the remote soon, and they can read soon.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But. But if you have, first of all, 10 months, so you have a minute, so maybe you can enjoy your dick stuff for another year, but in that time frame. To the point you're meeting friends.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree, but to the point of your. What you're saying Nick and dick rhyme. So what if we allow you to. To do all the dick puns you want, but you can't say dick. You replace dick with Nick, like 10 inch Nick.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

10 inch Nick, like lick, Eat my Nicky or something.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't know.

[David Wain]

Solve the original problem.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really, though, after hearing what he said. No, it isn't.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yeah, but licking my Nicky is not better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. Alana.

[Jake Johnson]

Alana. Now you've heard where we're coming from in this Italian stallion is not easy to put a satellite on, and we know that now. So you tell us a little bit now about what you're thinking, we're saying, and where we could kind of go, you know, how to reign them in better than us.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

I mean, I like the idea of it still being something funny like you were saying. And I don't necessarily mind if it's still dick related. It would just have to definitely be coded down enough where it's not. Like you said, it's. It's the network version of it. I think that would be fine.

[Jake Johnson]

So, Nick, you can't do it.

[David Wain]

Yeah, in classic couples there. But we know we have some overlap and we've got, you know, they both want dick related nicknames. It's just a question of.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. And, Nick, are you willing to play ball with what Alana's saying now? Because it's not going to work if you're going to go find Licky.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I don't want to join the machine that you guys are trying to put me in.

[Jake Johnson]

This is what I'm saying. He won't put a saddle on. There's no riding this stallion. He's a zebra.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nick, Nick, Nick, do you. You want to get the show on the air? Okay? They're not gonna greenlight you.

[Jake Johnson]

Cancel them. You know what? Cancel them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You push Jake and now you don't even have a show.

[Jake Johnson]

You run the things.

[Gareth Reynolds]

See what's happening.

[Jake Johnson]

He doesn't want to do it. He doesn't see his daughter. Fuck you, Nick. Now you want to play ball.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Two pitches. Two pitches before you guys. You guys, if we could just find.

[Jake Johnson]

Get out of the room. Get out of the meeting.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

He's out.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Dr. Nick between his daughter.

[Jake Johnson]

I mean, look, this guy's running it like he. He's putting NBC on the map. Oh, I don't want to do this. There's 9,000 other nicks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nick, Nick, to. To what we're all saying.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

You.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe you can't have the dildo, but you. Maybe you just got to get more creative. We're talking about opening. This could be your Sergeant Pepper. Of course, I agree.

[Jake Johnson]

But, Nick, we're not begging you. Here's the reality. She can.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I think the problem is that you're not doing it. You can't have that around a young kid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

But maybe I transition it from dick stuff. But maybe, maybe I play into like, I don't know, the Sticky Nicky or something, you know, Dr. No, wait, hold on.

[Jake Johnson]

No, not Dr. Sticky Pants.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

But he might be worse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nobody feels good when you say sticky, Nick. Okay, hold on, Nick.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's what I want you to think. Yeah, go ahead, David.

[David Wain]

Well, this is Just a different direction. Maybe there's something else you're passionate about and your screen names is where that goes. Like Golf guy.

[Jake Johnson]

With Nick on this one, I'm a. I'm. I'm a pass on that one. It feels like a different show.

[David Wain]

Hey, Mountain.

[Jake Johnson]

This feels like a different show.

[David Wain]

David, the omelette steward.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, Nick, as your manager, I'm gonna say let's just nod at this note, but we're not taking this one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But, but can't you find ways to be funny out. If you abandon the fact that your name Nick rhymes with Dick, that's fun. But you're not 10 years old. Couldn't you maybe make the name something like Skid mark? That's funny for everyone. Dr. Butt.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Now that's kind of funny.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, but here's what. There's two. Well, there's two things to this. We're not appeasing just to Nick. If Nick was calling. It's a simple win. Alana's a different animal.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And what we gotta think about preserve the.

[Jake Johnson]

I know she does, but she's also made it very clear. And Nick, you know this about your goddamn wife. And what you don't know is the importance of a mom community that she's trying to form. I promise you, brother, you don't want that woman on an island. And my guess is if you got 10 months, there's another one coming soon. And before you know it, these kids are going to be older. And all these little jokes you're pitching. Sticky in my pants. Imagine that girl saying that to a neighborhood boy. Nick. Because guess what, Nick, that little girl's got to be 12 years old soon.

[David Wain]

Nick, we just had a little bit of a rude awakening. I can feel it.

[Jake Johnson]

Everything you are teaching her about thick dick. Nick, girls marry their dads.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's love.

[Jake Johnson]

No, he doesn't.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I can't wait to have somebody a good laugh with.

[David Wain]

Yeah, but yeah, it's true. You don't want her in like the playground. Like, what, What? Who's your dad? What does he do? Like. I don't know. All I know is he's got a thick dick.

[Jake Johnson]

And I don't want her in the playground going like this. When the boys go like this, like, like king you don't wear. He goes, which one of you has the biggest horse dick?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Well, also, that's a hilarious thing for a kid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But Nick, it is. Nick. Nick, every. We laughed very hard.

[David Wain]

No one's questioning how funny this is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is great comedically. It works. The problem is you decided to have a daughter. You picked Elaine.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Now, what we're talking about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My dad has big dick.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

What we're talking about getting ahead of

[Gareth Reynolds]

right now is when you and Alana are called into school because your daughter's saying slick dick things like that on the playground. Now, Alana is going to be real world mad at you. These are going to be fights that go on for a while. We're getting ahead of that. Yeah, that would get out of control.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Quick.

[Jake Johnson]

Alana, speak up, please. What are you thinking?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

I think. Could you. If they gave you a few names that were potentially funny, like, could we get four names? Maybe that would be I like Dr. Acceptable.

[Jake Johnson]

You like Dr. Butt.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

That's the one. That one somebody threw out.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth catch with that, Alana, is that's not solving a problem if you've got Janet from down the street and it's Dr.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But that's something.

[David Wain]

It's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's getting away from the kind of pornographic, excessive one. And it's kind of more joke.

[Jake Johnson]

What if we. What if we rhyme dick with Tiffany? And it's about. Nick is obsessed with ticks down in Jacksonville. So it's like thick tick. And so if the woman.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I do get a few of those,

[Jake Johnson]

and then she goes like, sticky ticky. And they go like, what is that? And it goes like. And you go. So it's close. But then your daughter and their friends just go like, veiny tick. Thick, thick, thick. Nick tick.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Oh, I've never thought about going with veiny. It's hilarious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, Gareth, as soon as we're allowed

[Jake Johnson]

to call shows on here about this. Are we on the same team here, baby?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I think we need to go like, smarter like that. Somebody under 6 years old wouldn't understand smarter.

[David Wain]

I feel like that's a losing battle because kids are. Are clued in these days, you know?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

I don't disagree.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think if you. If we're trying.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

If.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Think about your daughter having a laugh over these names. Being able to share that. That while you're still feeling like they're funny, but they're just kind of toned down for the next generation.

[David Wain]

Toned down. Pitch daddy goofball.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Nick's not gonna like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Nick, how's your body? You in shape or did you get a little bit heavier when that baby was born?

[David Wain]

And what are you wearing?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I got heavier, but I'm back in shape. I'm, you know, I'm. I'm repping 225, not a boy.

[Jake Johnson]

How many are you doing?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I did 10 the other day.

[Jake Johnson]

Nice. What are you deadlifting, brother?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Oh, hurt my back on a motorcycle. Don't do those.

[David Wain]

Are you Jason Broheim?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Not natural.

[Jake Johnson]

A little bit of creatine, though. Nah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Peptides?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Nope.

[Jake Johnson]

He's younger.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

It's protein.

[Jake Johnson]

Attaboy. So what about. Oh, you know what you could do, Nick? What about being a. Your things are all about your hot dad bod because you go to the gym a lot. So rather than dick, mine are not

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

my hot dad bud.

[Jake Johnson]

What's that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Upper half.

[Jake Johnson]

But what about. We're going to the. What about we go into the 225?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I think you're onto something there. Like, the joke is me being big and strong. Yeah, like strong Nick.

[Jake Johnson]

Thick, thick neck, shoulders. Thick Nick's body.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Big vascular Nick.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. And so the neighborhood moms go like, what is this?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

And a little kid wouldn't understand that.

[Jake Johnson]

No.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

But we also leave arm Nick.

[Gareth Reynolds (or possibly a guest)]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

What if we leave?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Maybe just throw in like another body part that's appropriate.

[Jake Johnson]

Like arm everything. Arm.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Third legged. Huge Nick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

You were doing so good.

[Jake Johnson]

We almost had it. Who are you?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Gary Giant third leg?

[Jake Johnson]

No, no.

[David Wain]

How about Dr. Happy on the inside?

[Jake Johnson]

That's

[Jeff Tremaine]

David's here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So that Jake sound better.

[Jake Johnson]

How about 18 inch bicep? Yes.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Not bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, so let's put. Can we put that on the list?

[Jake Johnson]

But what it what? And then here's what we could also do with you.

[David Wain]

Throbbing heart

[Jake Johnson]

robbing veiny heart

[Gareth Reynolds]

semen. Bicep. I think I lost it, but okay. 18 inch bicep. We feel good.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I feel good about that. What about girth, bicep or something like that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that was.

[Jake Johnson]

You could also do girthy and veiny bicep.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alana.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yes, I. I would approve that.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I like that. Actually.

[Jake Johnson]

Italian stallion is all about his great body.

[David Wain]

How about foot? Foot muscle exploding with c. Nope.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Nope.

[David Wain]

You know, sometimes you got to go up to bat.

[Jake Johnson]

I agree. You have to.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I think we just got to trick the audience to think you're not talking about your penis.

[Jake Johnson]

The game of this is how can we be about that horse dick of yours, but make it seem like for the neighbor moms who aren't paying attention and the kids that what you're talking about is your strong body because you go to the gym and you know, and other.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Floating with strength or something.

[Jake Johnson]

Exploding with strength.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Horse leg.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Oh, okay. I'm writing that one down.

[Jake Johnson]

Horse leg is pretty good. You could get away. I think, Nick, you could get away with horse. Horse leg.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Leg. So I think no no, stop.

[Jake Johnson]

You could do horse leg three as if the other two were taken.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Okay, okay. Yes. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The name of the game. The name of the game is that if a neighbor sees this, they're going to think it's related to the workouts. But you and Alana know this is all about that awesome dick.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes. Finishing my pocket pump.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Pump Daddy.

[Jake Johnson]

Pump Daddy works.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Why?

[Jake Johnson]

Because he's a workout guy and it's in that theme. Working to convasion Pump dad, by the way, Big fanny. Pump dad is close, but I do think that could pass. It's. But that's very close.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's very close. I agree. Alana, maybe we give them a second here.

[Jake Johnson]

Are we getting close?

[David Wain]

Jizz Blender.

[Jake Johnson]

Her. Farther away.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

These are good options.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, he just said jizz blender and you said these are good options.

[David Wain]

Alana.

[Jake Johnson]

I feel like that one.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

The ones we've been writing down. Not.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, okay. Jizz blender. These are all really good options. Well, that's worse than I would rather have horse dick.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Title.

[David Wain]

I just want to say just to preserve the magic, like in your. In a private area of your life. I still hope you can call yourself, you know, Dr. Girth M.D. and so on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, hold on. Can he. This is wild. But if all the other ones about working out, I think he can call himself Dr. Girth, M.D. if all the other ones are about working out and strength and his arms and his shoulders. Because he is girth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Alana, I think he's right.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

No, no.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

No kid is going to know what girth is. Way.

[Jake Johnson]

But Dr. Girth, if you don't have horse dick, if you've got Mr. Muscles, Ms. 24 Inch Biceps, if you need me, I'll be at the gym routine. Then you sneak in doctor.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Yeah, we just kind of trick her to think they're all about working out. But then you slip in a few innuendos.

[Jake Johnson]

Yes, that's. That's what we' going for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But don't push it. You're gonna push it. We all know you.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, Nick, you got any ideas off the top of that, Jack? What do you got?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I mean, I. I like those. You could. You gave me a lot of ideas with throbbing and veiny and maybe just like protein juice or something.

[Jake Johnson]

Totally shaking my protein juice.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

There's a lot to work with. I actually, I think I like that combo of great sexual innuendos.

[Jake Johnson]

Wait, let me. Why don't we do this, Nick? Because you're not gonna love them unless you come up with them. I think that's part of the fun of it. So why don't you, as you come up with them, send us a voice note and at the end of this episode, we'll just play all the ones you did. And then in the follow up, Alana, call us back and tell us which ones you chose. And if you name a lot people in the comments, just write down which ones you like and which ones are nos.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think that's good. I think people in the comments would.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

I get to choose from the list.

[Jake Johnson]

You get, you get. Nick, you can make a list of 10 and you could use some of ours of that list.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

I'd love to do that.

[Jake Johnson]

Alana gets to pick of that list. Are you comfortable with that, Nick?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Yeah, yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

[Jake Johnson]

So maybe then do it on a voice note, send it to us and then maybe call, follow back up and we'll talk it out.

[David Wain]

Alana, Nick, you feel good about this? Will you come back and join us and talk to us again? Again?

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yes, I feel good about that. Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

Dick, you good. Dr. Girth.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Dr. Sticky Pants loves that idea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Dr. Sticky Shirt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Dr. Sticky Shirt is again, Nick works. I think this is what we're Dr.

[Jake Johnson]

Sticky Workout Gloves works.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is how you're pushing into this. This is going to be your best stuff. I really mean that.

[Jake Johnson]

Dr. Sticky Workout Stuff actually works. I would even say gloves works because if you're a neighbor, you go, he loves to work out. And then the dad goes, huh?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

He just sweats so much on his gloves.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

He gets so sticky.

[Jake Johnson]

Exactly. Right. Nick, I think you're in the real. Or Dr. Sticky. Dr. Sticky workout left glove. Because you're not gonna get both the gloves sticky. What are you, an animal?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, he's got a horse sticky.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, he's got a horse stick. Never mind. He's like, what are you talking about?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, different galaxies, but that works. So why don't we do that? Come up with 10, and then we should maybe put them in the voice note. We'll post that and then Alana can call in and tell us which ones work.

[Jake Johnson]

Everybody happy?

[David Wain]

I'm feeling really good about the plan.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

And then I want to say before we go, David Wayne, thank so much for joining us.

[David Wain]

You are a massive blast. And.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Oh, it was great meeting you guys.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, it was great meeting you too.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Great.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Huge fans.

[David Wain]

Anytime you need my help, I'm very excited to come back.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, thank you guys so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you, Alana. Thank you, Thick Dick.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Thank you, guys. Bye.

[Jake Johnson]

Just want to mention that all new episodes are released a day early. On who?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hulu. Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

We are also having. Our back catalog is going to be on Hulu. We're doing about 20 at a time. So if you have not checked us out on Hulu, then check us out on Hulu. Gareth, Jesse, are we saying any lies?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. And you can get season one, season two, we're gonna have a nice melange on Hulu. But the day early, I mean, there's

[Jake Johnson]

a lot of advantages. Here's another thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thing.

[Jake Johnson]

People going, well, I don't have hulu. You got YouTube. Cuz we're there too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Hulu a day early. YouTube for stragglers.

[Jake Johnson]

And also you go, I don't have that. Oh, we got Patreon.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

They go, I don't have that. What do you want?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, okay, Jake, we're. We're trying to be inclusive and you're yelling at them. But I think you're right. It's just.

[Jake Johnson]

Look, watch this show anywhere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's a lot of options.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Lose early Hulu's early audio. Day of YouTube, day of Patreon. No ads.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here's the way to remember it. Hulu new so Nulu.

[Jake Johnson]

It's not the way to remember. They also have back catalog stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, then that we call. Yeah. All right. It's falling apart.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPod gmail.com. and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] heretohelpod to see our entire catalog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis. Associate producer Jesse Thurston. Editing, mix and master by Cross Chris Faller. Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike, animations by Andrew Strelecki. And if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only. And all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Gareth Reynolds (or possibly a guest)]

That was a Headgum podcast. Hey, everyone, this is Whitney and Alexa, AKA the popcorn Queen and King.

[Jake Johnson]

Hey, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We just wanted to thank you so much for all the love and support you've shown our family.

[Gareth Reynolds (or possibly a guest)]

As many of you know from episodes 224 and 231 we're navigating Alexa's second

[Jake Johnson]

kidney transplant journey, and that journey has

[Gareth Reynolds]

really inspired us to create the Arana Kidney Recovery Foundation.

[Gareth Reynolds (or possibly a guest)]

That's right. Right. The foundation helps transplant families with everyday expenses during recovery so they could focus on what's most important. Healing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, whether it's lodging, transportation, groceries, or other essential expenses, we're here to help lighten the load.

[Gareth Reynolds (or possibly a guest)]

If you'd like to support our mission, you can learn more or donate at A R A N A K R a. That's Arana. Krf.org thank you so much for being such an incredible community.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And thank you for always being there to help.

[Gareth Reynolds (or possibly a guest)]

Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Jake Johnson]

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that was Us now on Headgum.

[Gareth Reynolds (or possibly a guest)]

Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show. This is us.

[Caller (e.g., Shannon or Alana)]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds (or possibly a guest)]

We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episod with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[Jake Johnson]

Are we gonna cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot?

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

A whole lot.

[Jake Johnson]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify.

[David Wain]

New episodes every Tuesday.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

[David Wain]

And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to, coming to.

[David Wain]

That's what it is.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

[Jake Johnson]

And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show now on Headgum.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Woo hoo.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Woo woo.

[David Wain]

I've learned a Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes. Every minute over is a minute to go.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Apparently, there's only so much butthole you can take. We're gonna take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All of it.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Sometimes we don't make the right decisions. Jeff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've noticed that every.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Every so often with guests like Spike Jones.

[David Wain]

I think let's commit to Jackass the podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What was it gonna be called?

[David Wain]

The Jackass Podcast Podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Steve O. There's a strong chance that were it

[Jake Johnson]

not for Jackass, that I would be in clown makeup.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Right this. Chris Pontius, that shot of your butt

[Jake Johnson]

just cruising up, I'm like, yeah, I

[David Wain]

got that on tv.

[Jeff Tremaine]

God bless Dave England.

[Nick (Caller’s Husband)]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

When you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like, damn it. Something bad's gonna happen to me.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Wee man.

[Jake Johnson]

Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch.

[David Wain]

The whole bar just stopped and wanted

[Jeff Tremaine]

to kill me like and some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning.

[Jake Johnson]

I had to share a room with this guy.

[David Wain]

I left a nice surprise in the

[Jake Johnson]

toilet for him every time.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Apparently he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Cast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts.

[David Wain]

Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday.

[Jeff Tremaine]

Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and tick tock at Jackass the podcast. What were we just talking about?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Probably buttholes.