313: This Is Fish, This Is Family, This Is Wonderful

Summary

Podcast Summary

We're Here to Help – Episode 313

Title: This Is Fish, This Is Family, This Is Wonderful
Date: August 5, 2026
Hosts: Jake Johnson & Gareth Reynolds
Produced by: Headgum

Episode Overview

Episode 313 of “We’re Here to Help” centers on two classic pillars of the show's charm: chaotic family dynamics and the art of making things up as you go. This week, Jake and Gareth tackle two main listener conundrums—an escalating turf war over a grandpa’s mounted sailfish, and a dad hoping to help his 9-year-old son pull off being "best man" at his upcoming wedding. True to form, the hosts riff, empathize, squabble, and finally shepherd their callers into delightfully weird, heartfelt resolutions.

---

Key Segments & Takeaways

1. Movie Tour Updates and Friendship Banter

[01:45–09:08]

• Gareth discusses his upcoming movie “Give it Up,” which Jake is also part of, and the unusual format: pre-show talk, film screening, then a Q&A. Both hosts riff on getting in shape, the joys of seeing a movie with a live crowd, and not caring about negative reviews.
• Banter about food, body image, and Gareth’s tight shirts sets the episode’s irreverent, self-deprecating tone.
• Quote: “You’re getting stronger, big daddy.” — Jake [01:55]

Notable Moment

• Recap of a disastrous Steve Berg “cook-off,” which leads to a Rocky-style meatloaf challenge series for a friend (“Burgertron”).
• Quote: “The more time that has passed, his chicken parm has gotten less delicious in memory.” — Jake [06:34]

---

2. The Great Family Fish Feud

[13:02–50:22]

a. The Backstory

• Caller: Bill (“Billy”) from Alexandria
• Issue: Billy entrusted a prized family sailfish (named Beth) to his brother due to lack of wall space, with a verbal agreement it would be returned once he had room. Now that he’s ready, his brother and sister-in-law (Meredith and Caleb) are dodging giving Beth back.
• The show had previously taken a call from Meredith, who jokingly claimed the fish as her own after crafting a “nautical bathroom” around it (which apparently never materialized).

b. All Parties Converge

• Through a series of interviews, the hosts mediate between Billy, Meredith, and Caleb, teasing out emotional truths and comedic barbs.
• Jake and Gareth play both therapists and stirrers, heightening and defusing the tension as needed.
• Quote: “This is family, this is fish, this is wonderful.” — Jake [22:50] (which later becomes the episode’s refrain)

c. Key Arguments

• Billy: Says the fish was always meant to return; even decorated it for holidays, and his wife is attached.
• Meredith & Caleb: Argue possession is nine-tenths of the law; they claim Billy “abandoned” Beth for years in a garage, and Beth has thrived as a Pride-flag- and bead-wearing mascot on their wall.
• Quote: “I didn’t realize there was a statute of limitations on fish.” — Billy [28:59]
• Quote: “You’re a starfish fucker.” — Jesse [33:05] (Jake and Gareth’s friend chiming in with classic irreverent humor.)

d. The Big Solution

• At first, the hosts suggest a “Marlin Tank” pitch contest, where each couple presents their vision for Beth’s future and lets the audience decide her fate.
• Natalie (producer) pitches a physical “Marlin Games” competition instead—a set of silly, athletic challenges like three-legged races, pokey-eating, and even a 1-mile three-legged race.
• After high-energy debate, everyone agrees: The winner of a 1-mile three-legged race (as couples) gets the fish. The losers must hand over Beth, say the episode’s new mantra—“This is Fish, This is Family, This is Wonderful”—and share a group hug.
• Quote: “If someone doesn’t want the hug, it’s going to be really weird.” — Jake [50:12]

e. The Aftermath

• Bi-partisan agreement—terms are to be written and agreed upon by email to avoid “verbal agreement” confusion ever again.
• The resolution is hilarious, absurd, and deeply in keeping with the show’s title and tone.

---

3. Best Man at Age 9: A Wedding Dilemma

[55:32–64:45]

• Caller: Keith from Rockford, IL
• Situation: He wants his 9-year-old son, Xander, to be his best man, but doesn’t know what role the boy can fulfill at the wedding (“a card trick won’t work for 200 people”).
• Gareth offers to coach Xander on writing and delivering a short, funny, heartfelt best man speech via Zoom, documenting the process for Patreon.
• The collaborative, workshop-like approach highlights the show’s “we’ll actually help” ethos, while leaving space for bailouts if the kid isn’t up for it.
• Quote: “Keith, when is the wedding?” — Gareth [61:44]
  “June.” — Keith [61:47]
• Both sides are excited. The father agrees, provided there are no Packers jokes in the (Wisconsin-based) wedding speech, which Gareth “the bad boy of wedding speeches” playfully defies.

---

4. Listener Follow-ups & Updates

[66:05–71:00+]

• Keith returns, post-wedding: The speech went great. Xander “crushed it,” delivered strong timing on the jokes, and got tons of compliments. Gareth’s coaching and the behind-the-scenes process were chronicled on the Patreon.
• Quote: “Every time we wrote, like...he was always there. It always got better.” — Gareth [68:21]
• Other listeners check in with results to previous advice:
  • Emily, who finally signed up for a corn eating contest.
  • William, who gave up on opening his martial arts school but had a fun “small world” moment when a friend referenced his own podcast appearance without realizing it.
• Notable Quote: “This is a bell ring for us, right, Keith?” — Gareth [70:44]

---

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

| Time | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|-------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:55 | Jake | “You’re getting stronger, big daddy.” | | 06:34 | Jake | “The more time that has passed, his chicken parm has gotten less delicious in memory.” | | 22:50 | Jake | “This is family, this is fish, this is wonderful.” | | 28:59 | Billy | “I didn’t realize there was a statute of limitations on fish.” | | 31:06 | Jake | “He wants it for the fame. Isn’t that a disgusting thing to hear? Billy, your thoughts on your behavior?” | | 39:38 | Meredith | “The Marlin now has some sunglasses on the sword nose...and it is celebrating Pride Month with a pride flag.”| | 49:12 | Gareth | “This is fish. This is family. This is wonderful.” (Proposed t-shirt for the race) | | 70:44 | Gareth | “This is a bell ring for us, right, Keith?” |

---

Format & Tone

• Irreverent and warm. Jake and Gareth default to bit-heavy, silly banter, but repeatedly show real affection for callers—whether stoning logic, deploying mockery, or earnestly trying to puzzle out solutions.
• Collaboration with listeners. Openly facilitates direct involvement of all parties, mediating with real (and mock) seriousness.
• Honest acknowledgment of the show’s limits. No pretense of expertise—the hosts rely on consensus, humor, and audience involvement.

---

Memorable Moments

• The “This is Fish, This is Family, This is Wonderful” refrain becomes both an episode catchphrase and eventual terms of surrender for the family fish feud.
• Turning what could have been a petty sibling squabble into a hybrid Olympics-meets-therapy session for a giant marlin.
• The seamless mixture of comic riffing with practical, real-world advice (wedding speech writing, family negotiation skills, and even contest logistics).

---

Conclusion

Episode 313 is a standout mix of chaos and care—from competitive meatloaf cookoffs to sibling showdowns over a taxidermy fish, to recording a kid’s journey toward giving a killer wedding speech. It’s a meta encapsulation of what “We’re Here to Help” does best: taking real (and ridiculous) problems, marinating them in empathy and comedy, and inviting the audience in to help shape the ending.

---

Listen if you like:

• Family feuds with epic payoffs
• Unlikely advice that gets results
• Absurdist humor with a big, warm heart
• Long-running inside jokes made inclusive
• Behind-the-scenes glimpses of real-life storytelling

Signature Quote:
“This is fish, this is family, this is wonderful.”

Transcript

[Jake Johnson]

This is a Headgum podcast. This is a Headgum podcast.

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[Gareth Reynolds]

When she said, I don't dance now, I make money moves, that was a mission statement for a whole new generation.

[Natalie Hollis]

Respect.

[Jake Johnson]

But that's not the Mount Rushmore.

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Bill / Billy]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Bill / Billy]

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[Jake Johnson]

Obey your thirst, Sprite. And we are live.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not live, not live, but whatever. I mean, it doesn't matter.

[Jake Johnson]

You're looking sharp. You're looking sharp, gr.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, you are.

[Jake Johnson]

You are. The tight black tea.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Looking good. You know, they're getting tighter. I don't know what's happening.

[Jake Johnson]

You're getting stronger, big daddy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Better, my guy.

[Jake Johnson]

Either way, this sausage tastes delicious. If bigger the better.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'll tell you what, my casings are tight.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm getting stuffed, baby.

[Bill / Billy]

Fat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nice and fat. No, you know, it's like there are times where I will. I just get home and I'm like, n. It's time to get in shape and then I'll just get fatter and then I'll go. Be about to go on the road because I'm about to go on the road for the movie tour and I'll be like, I'm going to get. Now I'm going to rock it on the road.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And sometimes I do it.

[Jake Johnson]

What is this movie tour? Tell me and this great audience about what's happening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake, we are taking the movie. Give it up. Which. Which you are a part of, too. On a, you know, just a. A light little tour. We're going to cities. I'm going to open the show before the movie, talk about it a little. Then Kyle and I will do a Q and A after. By the time this comes out, you can see it in San Diego, Santa Fe, Denver, Chicago, New York, Philly, Raleigh, Atlanta and Nashville.

[Jake Johnson]

Fun way to do it. Just take it to the People directly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And hopefully they start buying tickets to it more and more.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, here's the reality, Gareth. They're getting a set up from you at the beginning.

[Bill / Billy]

Right.

[Jake Johnson]

A Q A at the end.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And I know you that set up at the beginning is going to have some material in it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're damn right it will.

[Jake Johnson]

You're going to give them, what, 15 to 20 minutes at the top of the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

And then the Q and A, you're going to be on fire.

[Bill / Billy]

Then a movie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Movie. A good movie.

[Jake Johnson]

And then realistically, during that Q and A, if I know you, you're going to use that as a chance to go back and forth with the audience a little bit.

[Jesse Thurston]

Absolutely.

[Jake Johnson]

And get a bunch of laughs. And Cal's going to be giggling and you're going to be running wild.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That sounds about right.

[Jake Johnson]

So they're not only seeing the movie, they're seeing a live show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I'm excited because I've. I've seen the movie on the big screen two times. And you know this. I mean, you watch something with an audience. Yeah. It's different.

[Jake Johnson]

It's different.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's better than.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. I will say this in terms of that we did the premiere of Dink the other night, and I love the movie. I find it so fun, and I'm having a really new experience as it's coming out, you know, with anything you do that goes to the world. And we talk about it playfully with this podcast a lot. But there's responses both positive and negative.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

I'll tell you, man, because I just watched it with Josh and Sean, and my wife was there, and we were a bunch of friends, and we were all laughing and having fun, and I experienced it for what we wanted it to be. I couldn't care less about the negative comments. Well, review, like, right now we're, you know, 75. Yeah. So, like, it's all positive, but when somebody will have a take that's negative, not one part of me is getting mad. I'm going like, I don't care.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. But I love you. This, the other night, what it is, is it. You made a great sports comedy that

[Jake Johnson]

felt like it was from a different era.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And it is.

[Jake Johnson]

We wanted a traditional 3x structure. It was like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I will say this.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, first of all, I mean, the scenes with Ben Stiller, I can't even imagine.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, dude. I was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's crazy.

[Jake Johnson]

Dying. Laughing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But he's not on camera that much anymore. You know, he obviously is doing so

[Jake Johnson]

it's like he's not doing bits like that very much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so to get to be able to do that, so cool. But I will. This is what I will say too. This, I mean I love the movie and there's some friends of show in the movie all that. You know, you're gonna see some familiar folks. But I really like the way it ended. I was like, I've really liked that culmination to where we know where we're going and when we get there and those last 20 minutes in a sports movie to still be a little unsure of what's gonna happen.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And find it. I thought it was really. I like the landing got stuck big time. But there are some phenomenal performances in it. It's great. It's great.

[Jake Johnson]

So speaking of landing the plane and. Or not landing the plane, the great Steve Berg cook off occurred.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Steve Berg starved ink.

[Jake Johnson]

Steve Berg lost. The more time that has passed, his chicken parm has gotten less delicious in memory. True or false? True. But we, me, you, him and Amy just had a breakthrough this morning and we are going to have him go through Rocky style training.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It feels like we opened the Strait of Hormuz together this morning. There was a tense negotiation, but holy did it come.

[Jake Johnson]

So Steve Berg is going to get coached and learn how to make a delicious meatloaf. And he's going to have to go against the cheapest microwavable meatloaf you can get from the frozen food section.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's round one.

[Jake Johnson]

Then him, he's going to take his versus that microwave and prepare him blind taste test with people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, that's right.

[Jake Johnson]

Once he beats that level, then go to like a Vons. That's get the cooked meatloaf where you can buy it to go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah. Like, you know when you're like, I don't care what I put in my body, I get this. He's got to beat that.

[Jake Johnson]

You go like this. Do you want those like weird potato fries things? Those crisping. You're like the wedges.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, sure, I know they're husks.

[Jake Johnson]

And they go, how many? And you go, what is it coming? And they said pound half. And you go, Jesus Christ, give me a half a pound of potatoes pound. Do you do pound?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look at the shirt,

[Jake Johnson]

Garrett. So do I.

[Jesse Thurston]

Of course.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth. Look at me asking. Come on, big boy, half a pound. You're not fooling anybody.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Half a pound's for the car ride home. Then you get home, you finish the pound.

[Jake Johnson]

Burgertron's gotta beat that. Yeah, if he beats that, then he Goes to Whole Foods, then he beats

[Gareth Reynolds]

a Whole Foods meatloaf. And once he does that restaurant, he

[Jake Johnson]

can beat any old restaurant in Omaha. And look, if you're a restaurant owner in Omaha, you want to challenge him, maybe we'll pick you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We want him to have the reps, but then, then he. But do you want to say where it's going or should we hold on to that? Yeah, there's a.

[Jake Johnson]

We don't know.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's an endpoint here that's tastier than his chicken parm.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, anything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can't do this. By the way, our human ratings on Patreon, we heard today, people rating us as people. And it's not good.

[Jake Johnson]

Nobody likes Gareth and I anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now I'll tell you who does like us. The people that we're helping on this show across this country, in this world. So without further ado, enjoy some ads. And we are also brought to you by the great Function Health. Function Health. Okay, we're talking about health all the time. I mean, August, for God's sakes, it's National Wellness Month. Should be every month, but here we are. But you know, most health trends are going to throw some weird stuff at you. I mean, good lord, if you're scrolling social media, you kind of don't even know where to look. You're going, oh, I need to do that. I need to do this. What you really need to do is lift up the hood under the car that is you and find out what is going on.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

I am legit watching this. This feels like something our podcast should have been producing. I would love to see the best dunkers dunk. We need to discuss the dunk contest and we might need to lower it into a six foot dunk contest presented by Shaquille o'.

[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Bill / Billy]

Hey, how's it going? This is Bill calling from Alexandria.

[Jake Johnson]

What's up, big daddy?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, Bill. Okay, Bill.

[Jesse Thurston]

Bill.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keep going. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Okay. What did you say was happening? It's okay. Yeah, it is hot. Jake is high as a kite. Go ahead, Bill.

[Bill / Billy]

So I'm calling about my grandfather's large mounted sailfish that previously my brother's girlfriend had called in.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We made a nautical bathroom.

[Bill / Billy]

Yes. The medical bathroom that she didn't want. Now she doesn't want to get back to me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Bill / Billy]

And I would just like a chance to share my story.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, and then what happened was then they did that, and then they were like. You wanted the marlin back, Right? Is that what it was?

[Bill / Billy]

That is correct. Because me and my brother had an agreement that I would give him the fish because me and my wife moved into an apartment that we no longer had space for the fish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sure. We're looking at it right now.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah. It's about like a little over six feet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. It's crazy.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, man, take over. Let's hear your whole story. And don't be afraid to start from the beginning.

[Bill / Billy]

Absolutely. Yeah. So when my grandmother was moving out of her house, my. She was giving away items in the house that were of sentimental value to the family.

[Meredith]

Sure.

[Bill / Billy]

And I asked for the large sailfish that my grandfather had caught that had been wall mounted because I wanted to put it on my own wall. And so I took it, drove it down from Massachusetts. My dad drove it down to. To bring to me down to D.C. and I mounted it in the. In on the main wall in my apartment where I was living with my then girlfriend, current wife. And we grew to love that fish. Current life, current wife. We grew to love that fish. We named it Beth. As your fish, brother. My brother's girlfriend. Yeah. It is my fish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, I'm glad.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm glad you say that right now. I have forgotten a lot of the backstory. Totally out of my mind on this fucking junk. But this fish is yours, brother.

[Bill / Billy]

I appreciate you saying that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Bill, you're not talking to Jake right now, but keep going. Jake left the building a little while ago, but keep going.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah. So this was around 2019. Around 2022, me and my wife moved into a house, currently a historic row House in D.C. and we were. We didn't have the space and weren't allowed to mount the fish onto a wall in that house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A rule at the apartment.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah. We just. The wall wouldn't support it, and we didn't want to. We weren't allowed to drill into the brick wall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. And so your brother gets the mar.

[Bill / Billy]

Brother got the marlin. But we made the agreement that should me and my wife move into a new space that had enough room for the marlin on the wall, he would give it back to us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

And this was 2019.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This was 2022.

[Bill / Billy]

This. This was 2022.

[Jake Johnson]

O.

[Bill / Billy]

Last summer. Me and my wife moved to a house that had enough space for the fish to be mounted in a very prominent space right at the entrance of the house. Yeah. Centerpiece of the home.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, keep going.

[Bill / Billy]

We asked for the fish back, and my brother's girlfriend Meredith and my brother have kind of just been dodging us, I believe when she called in the in law. But.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But.

[Jake Johnson]

But not even blood.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Since. Well, blood and.

[Jake Johnson]

But what's your brother doing?

[Natalie Hollis]

He.

[Jake Johnson]

You're the guy you made the deal with, so.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But since then.

[Bill / Billy]

I know. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He made a nautical bathroom based around our pitches. And that fish ain't their fish.

[Jake Johnson]

So what's your brother doing?

[Bill / Billy]

He's there just dodging my repeated requests for the fish back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you live in the same place? The same city where. How far apart are you to.

[Bill / Billy]

I'm over in Alexandria, just across the river, and he's in D.C. okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So not too far.

[Jake Johnson]

How often do you guys see each other?

[Bill / Billy]

We see each other about once a month.

[Jake Johnson]

In terms of anger. I'm gonna ask you a question here. 10 is, this is gonna be a duel and it's gonna end in violence. Zero is who gives a shit? Where are you at?

[Bill / Billy]

For I'd put it. I'd put myself at a seven, and I'd put my wife at a nine. Oh, shit.

[Jake Johnson]

This is getting real. And where is the. Your brother and his girlfriend?

[Bill / Billy]

They are still in the apartment.

[Jake Johnson]

No, I mean zero to ten in your guts.

[Bill / Billy]

Oh, they probably. I don't know. They're four. They're pretty angry. I'd say they're like a six.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Bill / Billy]

They really. But they. They're dodging the question.

[Jake Johnson]

And so what have you up to this point. Done. By the way, Great job, Steve. Rolling. And let that be a lesson to everybody listening to this show. There are times where the junk gets on top of me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jake's gonna be going away for a couple months after this episode. Just so everyone knows. And so I don't even know what

[Jake Johnson]

I got in my mouth anymore.

[Jesse Thurston]

That's a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a crazy man sentence.

[Natalie Hollis]

Wait, I don't think they actually made the bathroom. I'm looking at the old emails, and this picture that's on the wall is the compromise they made. So they don't even have.

[Jake Johnson]

They don't have a bathroom.

[Natalie Hollis]

They don't even have a bathroom.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They just don't have anything else on the walls. Yeah, they have one thing hung up, and it's a marlin.

[Jake Johnson]

And so what have you. What's the most direct approach? Where are we at. And I remember now hearing there's two people here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, we have them in waiting to come in. Oh, we have the, the brother and the in law.

[Jake Johnson]

And you, you know that the sister in law is here too, correct? What, what's everything that you know? We have surprised people in the past. It's gone sideways. So tell me your name again.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bill.

[Bill / Billy]

Bill.

[Jake Johnson]

Billy. What do you know? Do you know that the sister in law's here?

[Bill / Billy]

I do know. I assume she'd be here. You guys mentioned you may try to get her on.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, and what have you guys discussed up to this point? What are we walking into here, Bill?

[Bill / Billy]

I mean, so the biggest thing is that she never talked to us about her desire to keep the fish. The only reason we found out about it is because my, my buddy flagged your podcast for me. Of which she called in saying she didn't want to get the fish back.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, that's how you heard about this?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's, that's, that is how I heard.

[Jake Johnson]

This is incredible. And then you and your, your wife listen together?

[Bill / Billy]

Yes, we did.

[Jake Johnson]

How fucking your wife?

[Bill / Billy]

Dude, my wife was pissed.

[Jake Johnson]

Give me some direct lines.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah, he said that fish is ours. I was the one that named Beth. I want that fish back on my wall now. Wow.

[Jake Johnson]

And you're dealing with now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When was the last time you fished?

[Jake Johnson]

You're on the grill, brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

When was the last time you talked to your sister in law?

[Bill / Billy]

So we, I used to see her around once a month every, you know, two months. And I. We bring up the fish every time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, but it's tense.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's what I'm worried about, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I hear you.

[Jake Johnson]

This is going to be potentially explosive. Yeah, I'm gone mentally.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah, you left. Have you been. When was the last time you were here, you think?

[Jake Johnson]

I don't remember any calls.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, so I'm gonna run point on this.

[Jake Johnson]

Is that good for us?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I think it's our only option.

[Jake Johnson]

Good luck, brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And I think that, I mean, you've become stone cold Steve Austin. Stop pointing to Jesse with your weird dislocated finger gun.

[Jake Johnson]

That's my guy.

[Meredith]

Stop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we're gonna bring in your sister in law. What's her name?

[Bill / Billy]

Meredith.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, we're gonna bring in Meredith. You guys are gonna talk. Let's. Let's hear from her and then we'll hear from you.

[Natalie Hollis]

Am I putting Bill in the waiting room? Do you want a moment with Meredith?

[Jake Johnson]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Yeah.

[Natalie Hollis]

Okay. Bill, I'm gonna put you back in the Waiting room for a few minutes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great work though, Bill.

[Bill / Billy]

Okay.

[Natalie Hollis]

And then we'll bring you back in together. Meredith's recap.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, Meredith.

[Meredith]

Hi.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey. How are you?

[Meredith]

I'm good. How are you guys?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good. Listen, we've. We've been digging back into the marlin world a little bit and. And you still have the Marlon, from what we understand, right?

[Meredith]

We do. We still have Beth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where is this situation at right now?

[Jake Johnson]

But know that we've got Billy in the waiting room.

[Meredith]

He goes by Billy now.

[Bill / Billy]

You guys are friends with him.

[Meredith]

That. That frightens Meredith.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't do this. Don't you do this to us.

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah, we're friends with Billy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Stop it. I gotta caveat this a little bit if Jake seems strange. He is. So, Meredith, where are we at right now? We know that you have the marlin. We know that Bill, Billy boy and his wife, they want the marlin. And you all are holding on to the marlin. Where are you In. In the midst of this plot right now?

[Meredith]

I see that differently. Also. You're on the phone with Caleb as well, my partner. So he's listening.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The guy, her husband, her boy.

[Meredith]

But. So, yes, he's still here. And I guess Bill then and was like, we want her back. But they have not said that to me, like, personally, you know, I haven't got any.

[Jake Johnson]

Can I jump? Can I jump in?

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So here's what is going to be presented to you. And we're going to do it so that there's no conflict. This is not going to be an angry situation. His family says, fish, this is wonderful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is the greatest title or merch pitch I've ever heard on this show. This is

[Jake Johnson]

wonderful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is Fish.

[Bill / Billy]

This.

[Meredith]

Is.

[Jake Johnson]

How much do you know about the deal Bill made with Caleb? Caleb?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Meredith]

I do not know. A ton. Only that it is verbal. I've tried getting more out of Caleb. He doesn't really remember a lot of it, but all I know is that it was verbal. Nothing was written down.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so who in your house is going to make the final say about the fish? And the reason I ask you this is, is this really between Bill and Caleb? Is it between you and Bill as the lawyer right now? And, you know, we just try to get contracts done. So who's the one who's going to have final say in terms of negotiation? Because I'll tell you what I think it's going to come down to is that agreement and that conversation between Caleb and Bill. But I would like your opinion.

[Meredith]

I mean, I kind of Think it's between all four of us. Bill, his wife, Katie, Caleb, myself. But I will say Caleb himself is a lawyer, so I'm kind of banking on him to, like, that's cool. Get in some window or something.

[Jake Johnson]

So he's. Is he. He's there, too?

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah, I am. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

What's up, brother? So, question for you. Before we bring Billy on, do you remember the conversation you and Billy had about his narrative about Beth? That he was going to pass it on to you, but if they ever moved, that he would want the fish back? Do you remember that?

[Bill / Billy]

Vaguely.

[Jake Johnson]

Vaguely. Let's bring Billy on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why didn't you guys turn the bathroom into a nautical theme? The fish wouldn't fit.

[Meredith]

Because this wouldn't fit on the wall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Thank you.

[Bill / Billy]

I'm certainly appropriate to hang it from the ceiling.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, here's. I got an idea to start this, if you're okay with it. Let's let them talk it out with no moderation for a little bit and see what happens.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. You just want to throw them in a box and close the lid and see what comes out.

[Jake Johnson]

Family, this is fish. This is wonderful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It sounds like an offshoot Olive Garden seafood restaurant slogan. This is family. This is fish. This is wonderful. Sea Garden.

[Jake Johnson]

This is family.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is fish. This is wonderful. Like a Hallmark script that nobody ever gave notes on.

[Jake Johnson]

Billy, are you on?

[Bill / Billy]

Oh, I'm back.

[Jake Johnson]

Billy, you're on with your fam. Everybody say hello. We all know the situation about Beth. Bill, you want to start?

[Bill / Billy]

I do. Meredith, we've had the conversation since we moved back into the house. We all know Cal has been dodging me and just won't admit that he made an agreement with me to bring back the fish. We're willing to come to you, take that fish off the wall and bring it back to its rightful home. When can we get the fish back, Meredith?

[Meredith]

But in an old, dirty, dark shed, and you just forgot about her until. Until suddenly. Basement. And you're like, let's do it.

[Bill / Billy]

Nope. We did not forget about her. We were not allowed to hang her up in our house. Therefore, we had to put her back in storage with the understanding that once we got space, to bring her back out and get her on a wall. That would be the plan. I graciously agreed to let Cal take the fish until we had such space, and now we do. And so I think we should get the fish back.

[Jake Johnson]

Caleb, your thoughts, brother?

[Bill / Billy]

Oh, no. We have cared for it. I had to put major holes in my walls to fit her into a tiny apartment. And she is thriving in our humble abode. And we all.

[Meredith]

We.

[Bill / Billy]

And it was never written down either. I don't fully remember this full.

[Jake Johnson]

Where you go to law school.

[Bill / Billy]

I can't remember.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Caleb, Caleb, you can't be a lawyer. Like I didn't understand there was paperwork.

[Jake Johnson]

Caleb, your V before you took the stand was very.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This family, this fish, he wonderful.

[Jake Johnson]

Caleb, you became me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Caleb, Caleb, Caleb. But in all honesty, Caleb said the

[Jake Johnson]

equivalent of, I mean, it is family. This is wonderful. This is wonderful. I can't remember what the fuck is he saying?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I heard someone say, this is wonderful. In earnest. You like this is wonderful? Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Caleb, I'm gonna give you a second chance at that. Go really close to the phone. Let's do that again. Billy said you guys had a verbal agreement for him. It seems very clean that he said, when we have space, we get it back. You said, agreed?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

In the meantime, you're like, but I'm going to hang it up. And he goes, great, now he's got space. And he's saying, hey, based on our handshake brother agreement, it's time for it to come back. Your thoughts?

[Bill / Billy]

I think that because he left Beth for dead in our garage and waited for the perfect house, I think his time has passed. Three years is a long time to wait to reclaim Beth. And I think we have a great claim that she is happy and should stay on our lawn.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so you.

[Bill / Billy]

I didn't realize there was a statute of limitations on fish. Well, you probably should have read the official all about it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Now, Caleb, Caleb, you're being a catty

[Jake Johnson]

little lawyer, but I do think Caleb brought up an interesting point, which is, yes, that was true. But at a certain point, if I've been raising this thing for 10 years, it's my kid had at any point

[Gareth Reynolds]

in that time where the fish was on Caleb and Meredith's wall bill, did you mention how you were excited to get the fish back once it was time?

[Bill / Billy]

Absolutely. And I'm pretty sure anytime my wife was ever at their apartment, she said, I can't wait to get that fish back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you. Caleb and Meredith, do you remember that?

[Meredith]

I think you guys have only been over here one time to see Beth in her glory. And whenever she's brought up, it's always just in passing of like, oh, we missed Beth. Oh, we'll try to get her. If there was never, you know, a text of, hey, when can we come up? This is the first time I think will have said, when can we come

[Bill / Billy]

over to get her interested?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I I've.

[Meredith]

I've reached.

[Bill / Billy]

I've reached Categorically false.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

But I think one thing I want to say, and I could be wrong on this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cut the fish in half.

[Jake Johnson]

No. Is it sounds like the new owners feel a very personal connection to Beth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And they fear that Billy just sees Beth as wall decoration.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

That he believes is rightfully his.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, and also I think there's something to the idea that now that Billy

[Jake Johnson]

knows he can't have it, he wants it more. But he really does. So am I. Is that. Am I hearing that correctly from our current owners that you don't believe Billy actually cares about Beth and he just wants it because it's quote unquote his? And let's be honest, it was featured on a podcast. Your thoughts?

[Bill / Billy]

He wants it for the fame.

[Jake Johnson]

He wants it for the fame. Isn't that a disgusting thing to hear? Billy, your thoughts on your behavior?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Billy, be honest. Is that part of it?

[Bill / Billy]

No. I can't remember when in the last time Meredith called in, she claimed that she was so attached to it, she was decorating it. I have photographic evidence from when we first got Beth of me and my wife decorating that fish for all the holidays. We love that fish and we want it back so we can continue to decorate it in our home. It is a member of our family.

[Jake Johnson]

So now, Meredith, go ahead, you go. No, you go, please.

[Meredith]

I give Katie 100% credit for the vision. She was the founding mother of Beth's wardrobe, dressing her up for holidays. However, he and Bill again put Beth in a dark garage where she was just left. She was not left with a Santa hat.

[Bill / Billy]

There are only a limited amount of spaces you can store a six foot sail.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a storage room.

[Jake Johnson]

Here's my only fear, Em, is it sounds like the original mother was the one who started direct the putting clothes on it, caring for it. Billy was the original. We need to show this thing off. Then they were in a situation where it was not legally allowed. So they, from their point of view, they lent it to you until they moved into a bigger spot than you guys adopted all of the stuff that they did to Beth originally. And it sounds like your guys's argument is, yeah, but you left Beth in storage.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Therefore you didn't value Beth. Now that Beth is a podcast celebrity now you want that back. But it's. It's. You don't actually care. And we're not playing this game with you. The fish stays with us.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're a starfish fucker.

[Jesse Thurston]

That's what Jake's saying is that where

[Jake Johnson]

you guys are fundamentally coming from?

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah, that sounds about right. And who knows if it's really legal to have it in our place as well.

[Jake Johnson]

But you. And they didn't take the risk. They could have thrown it on a brick wall, but they said we don't care enough. So now that you have it, your vibe is kind of, you know, my dead body, you're attached.

[Bill / Billy]

Exactly.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, Billy, when you hear that with this, we're not in the emotional state of this. We will pitch. Sol, when you hear that argument, what does that make you think? Because, you know, I'm a flip flopper. That's what I do on this show. I don't know where I stand. So, Billy, where do you stand?

[Bill / Billy]

I'm just disappointed that we're not getting our fish.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, it's not we've asked for, not yet. We might end up doing so. We're taking away hurt feelings and pissed. We have to. This is family. This is fish. This is wonderful. But we will get to a solution. It's most likely going to be a little bit absurd, a little bit ridiculous, but we will get there. There's going to be a winner, there's going to be a loser. But in terms of just the logic of this discussion, because you knew, Billy, this can never end with them saying, take it back. They also love Beth. And what I think we've seen in the audience has seen is there's a lot of gray area to this, isn't it, Billy?

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

So when you hear their argument, what is your argument? That it belongs to you. Is there anything new? And then everybody start thinking about where you're at, because each person is going to get 60 seconds.

[Bill / Billy]

I mean, we had a verbal agreement. We couldn't put the fish in a historic D.C. row house. And our agreement was we would get the fish back. We've been waiting for that fish. The first thing we did when we ident when we moved into this house, we identified the spot for Beth.

[Jake Johnson]

Interesting. And you were just assuming you were going to get it.

[Bill / Billy]

Absolutely. Why would I not? We had a verbal agreement.

[Jake Johnson]

Caleb, when you keep hearing this verbal agreement, what is the code of brothers? Because I'll tell you as well as

[Gareth Reynolds]

the you're a lawyer. What do you think of that?

[Jake Johnson]

What do you. But I will tell you in terms of Dan and I, we do have a code. We used to call it our little secret as little boys. We were babysitting a kid and she pissed on the floor. Neither of us wanted to clean it. We Moved a little rug over it. And he went. I go, should we tell the people? And he goes, our little secret.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I tell you something? Last night, my mother and I were channel surfing after the game shows and Diff'rent Strokes was on. And I put it on and I told her about how when you were a kid, you wanted to be called Arnold and you had a birthday party where you wanted everyone to call you Arnold. She could not get over it.

[Jake Johnson]

So going to hearing all of that. Caleb, terms of your brother's code, in terms of everything turns up being a lawyer, how do those pants fit?

[Bill / Billy]

Well, brother's code. I sympathize. Like, we both said some things, but legally, this is worth a lot. I'm just saying. This is probably worth $4,500.

[Jake Johnson]

You said 4, 500 things went down.

[Bill / Billy]

I'm just saying.

[Jake Johnson]

But I don't like that either. You're not going to get money out of this. Caleb.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Caleb.

[Bill / Billy]

I don't care about the cash value.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Caleb, listen, I'm not. I'm not trying to tear you down while you're on the stand here, my guy, but the dollar value on the fish, that's not heart, my man. That's wallet. Feels like maybe Beth. I know you're just saying, but it feels like maybe Beth is a little more of a value prize to you. Whereas I feel like Bill and his wife are talking about they got a place on the wall. You know what I mean? They could have sold it before they put it in the storage.

[Jake Johnson]

Meredith, jump in.

[Meredith]

I think what we were trying to say is that anything of like that monetary value should be written down.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, okay. I got you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Can I ask you to a favor? Meredith and Caleb, can one of you take a picture of the marlin right now so we can see what you're kind of doing with it right now? Like a picture right now. Because in the picture we have up on the screen. You know what I mean? Just kind of a fish on a wall in a hallway.

[Jake Johnson]

I do have a pitch.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do, too.

[Jake Johnson]

You do?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

You want to go first?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, go ahead.

[Jake Johnson]

I would like to hear yours, if you don't mind.

[Gareth Reynolds]

My pitch is that. Unfortunately, I'm not gonna. My pitch is we don't solve this right now. My pitch is we can reconvene. They each shark tank us marlin tank. They come in with an upgrade. As far as what Beth's life is gonna be, what the wall art is gonna be, what the situation is going to be, and we're gonna. At the end of that. Pick one of them. So it's really gonna be a. What are you gonna turn this into so that Beth has the best existence? Because I think that's getting lost in a lot of this.

[Jake Johnson]

So I've got a question for. I'm gonna call him og and I'm gonna call him New Parents. So, Billy, you and your wife are going to be OGs.

[Bill / Billy]

Understood?

[Jake Johnson]

What do you guys think of the OG idea of coming back and what are we calling it? Marlin tank. Fish.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Marlin tank.

[Jake Johnson]

Marlin tank. And you guys, everybody's gonna have a fair chance as a couple to present their argument. And then we have the audience vote.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's great.

[Bill / Billy]

You know, I don't, I don't hate that idea.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. Would you, if it goes sideways, would you be able to accept it, squash the bad feelings and go back to good feelings with family and accept the loss if the audience says it's a loss for you?

[Bill / Billy]

You know, I'm very pro democracy, so I can accept the vote.

[Jake Johnson]

I love that answer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I like that too. And I will say that we, we are now getting an updated picture. And the Marlin does look like it's being utilized in a better way. What are we seeing for the people we're seeing? The Marlin now has some sunglasses on the, on the nose, the sword nose. It's got some beads around where I guess the neck would be, and it is celebrating Pride Month with a pride flag.

[Meredith]

So, yes, we were on like at the beginning, at the beginning of July, so I didn't change her yet. But for the month of June, yes, she was celebrating Pride Month.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so then new parents, if we were to do a marlin take and then we were to tally all the votes, YouTube emails, Patreon, Spotify, literally just take a day. We'll just go and look. It's not going to be precise. It's not going to be perfect. But we will see. We'll get a gauge and we will determine the winner. And we will be open with our books. We'll show you everything we got.

[Bill / Billy]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

If you guys lost that, would you accept that loss, fade all the bad feelings and happily give Beth to the OG parents and move on from this?

[Meredith]

Yeah.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah. I do have a quick follow up question, though.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Bill / Billy]

Won't. Won't Meredith and Cal have an unfair advantage in this as they already have Beth on their wall? Why? To decorate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why? We're talking about, we're talking, we're talking about. What is this going to be? I mean, honestly, I would say you maybe Have a slight advantage. You have a blue sky pitch. You've got a whole new space. You can. You know what I mean? This is. We're not talking about how it looks right now. We're talking about where can you take it? What's the future for Beth? That's what the pitch is. That's what Marlin Tank is.

[Bill / Billy]

That's fair.

[Jake Johnson]

Would everybody feel positive about this in the end? Even those who lose?

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Let me ask really quickly the room right now, Gareth, where would you lead? Now, mind you, you guys are going to have time. We are going to do a follow up where you're going to be able to prepare. How much time really quickly would you guys want for your Marlin pitch? Pre Marlin take presentation? Two minutes?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, two minutes each.

[Jake Johnson]

You guys good with two minutes each?

[Gareth Reynolds]

There can be a visual if they want. Doesn't have to be, but

[Jake Johnson]

og, everyone's good with two minutes.

[Bill / Billy]

Two minutes.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Bill / Billy]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

As of right now, Gareth, with what we know now, this is giving them a chance to make an adjustment. If you have to vote brother, OG or new. Where does Beth live?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me say this.

[Jake Johnson]

We have a little bit of music for this one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me say this. Great music, by the way, that really added a lot. Let me say this. I'm playing the game. The music's here right now.

[Jake Johnson]

No, I mean for the next call.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know. Okay, well, maybe I didn't, but I'm pretending. Okay, so Jesse, put a little music under this so what I said makes sense. And Jake looks foolish. Thank you. Here's where I'm at. I'm very open to it going either place. I just want the best life.

[Jake Johnson]

That wasn't the question. Biblical.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think there's something to the original owner who saved it from grandma.

[Jake Johnson]

So you go og. I mean, make a call. Yes, Jesse.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Honestly, my heart's with OG too.

[Jake Johnson]

Totally.

[Natalie Hollis]

I think Marlon Tank is stupid and they should have to do a competition that's more stupid and athletic and.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you mean athletic?

[Natalie Hollis]

Like we should have like either Marlin games. Yeah, that's a great idea.

[Meredith]

The Marlin games.

[Jake Johnson]

Would you guys rather do the Marlin games or Marlin tank?

[Gareth Reynolds]

See there.

[Bill / Billy]

I need a lot more details on the Marlin games.

[Jake Johnson]

Marlin games could be three legged races run up and down with an egg on a spoon. We create like nine different games. You guys compete, film it, and whatever couple wins, the majority of them get. So would you guys rather a plea?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you could. What you could do is. You could do. You could do it. Like the Marlin Games. So it's kind of all aquatic competition. It's a swim race, it's a chum eating competition. You know, it should just be a bowl of pokey or something like that.

[Jake Johnson]

That's fun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It would be a holding your breath competition.

[Jake Johnson]

How much the thing weighs you guys?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

How much pounds you could gain in 24 hours? Weight counts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

You weigh yourself at 6A like 7am the next day at 7am you guys weigh yourselves. You do not have to tell us what you weigh, but you do have to tell us how much as a couple you gained in 24 hours.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a great. I mean that's an insane.

[Jake Johnson]

That's what you do with a marlin. You weigh it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, I mean that. So there you go. That's the first blush Marlin Games pitch. So you've got Marlin tank or you've got the Marlin Games. And I think it. You want them to decide?

[Jake Johnson]

Yeah. Which one? Which one do you guys. Now you three take away your squabble for a second and work together as a family and figure out what you guys want. The floor is yours.

[Bill / Billy]

Oh no. Will or Bill, what are you thinking? I prefer the Marlin Games. I think we can find a middle ground to win at the Marlin game. So we can do that.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Bill / Billy]

We can find someone to film for us.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so you guys want to do the Marlin games. Okay.

[Bill / Billy]

So now the Marlin games.

[Jake Johnson]

Really quickly we need you guys to pick. Is it couples or is it brothers versus each other? Billy, is your wife in?

[Bill / Billy]

Oh yeah, it's couples.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay, so couples. So Billy, throw out a challenge of a game that you could do for Marlin Games. Meredith and Caleb, you are allowed to say no. Billy, what's a game you guys can do?

[Bill / Billy]

I like the three legged race.

[Jake Johnson]

A three legged race. I want it to be incredibly long.

[Bill / Billy]

Incredibly long. Yeah. We can make that happen.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm talking maybe three miles.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is the funniest. That is the funniest, man. It's a four day race.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm not talking about. I'm not talking about.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We are setting a Guinness book record for the longest three legged race.

[Jake Johnson]

Go in your backyard and run 40 steps.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm talking that tree to that tree. No, Jake's talking about a 10.

[Jake Johnson]

I'm talking midway through. You're saying to your partner, I need more from you right now. And the other one goes, my ankle hurts. Caleb and I want to go. Lift your fucking foot up. That is catching up to us that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, listen, We've gone all over the map. The idea of one competition and it's a 10k three legged race. 6am, we start dusk. We're wrapping it up and you guys

[Jake Johnson]

film it on GoPro Wear.

[Bill / Billy]

GoPros.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we have someone trail you too.

[Jake Johnson]

And we have a follow. We have an editor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is Tour de France. Yes, we have an edit. I mean, we need raw footage is fine.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you guys think of that?

[Bill / Billy]

I love it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I love it.

[Bill / Billy]

I like him. I'm trying to think, though.

[Meredith]

You're the two, three miles, one legged race. I'm not gonna do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How bad do you want Beth?

[Jake Johnson]

You're not gonna do that for Beth. You're out. Take the fish from your fucking wall.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right? Ultra.

[Jake Johnson]

You nuts? I don't want it. I just want to put sunglasses on a marlin. Then tie your fucking leg to Caleb and run, run, run for Beth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Jake Johnson]

So you. You are passing on it?

[Meredith]

That's it on the myelins. So what?

[Bill / Billy]

We're in.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. No, but hold on.

[Bill / Billy]

What?

[Jake Johnson]

We negotiated now because I know what you guys. You guys don't hold on to your deals unless it's written down. So we're going to write this down. How long do you want this race to be? I want 10k. What do you want?

[Bill / Billy]

10k.

[Jake Johnson]

People start speaking up or we're take. You said one mile

[Bill / Billy]

a long three leg race. That was that.

[Jake Johnson]

Billy, what do you think about a mile?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Mile? Psychotic.

[Jake Johnson]

Billy, are you good with a mile?

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah, we can do a mile.

[Jake Johnson]

Meredith, you good with a mile? Wait, put your. Wait, your phone. Hold on, your phone's breaking up. Say that again.

[Meredith]

Yes, I'm fine with that.

[Jake Johnson]

Everybody, Caleb, Meredith, Billy's. Everybody happy with a winner take all. Three legged race a mile long.

[Gareth Reynolds]

If you guys do it in under five minutes, you can break the Guinness.

[Jake Johnson]

They won't be able to. Okay, what do you guys. What do you. Are you guys all happy with that agreement?

[Bill / Billy]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

When is it going to take place? I want you guys to make shirts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know exactly what the shirts should say.

[Jake Johnson]

What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is fish. This is family. This is wonderful.

[Jake Johnson]

But I also want winner takes it all. So, guys, if you lose, the losing team has to say to the winning team, this is Beth. She belongs to you. No hard feelings. Then you all make direct eye contact and you say, this is fish. This is family. This is wonderful. And you hug each other.

[Jesse Thurston]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

And you mean it. And Billy, if your wife is halfway in and out, it's your job to get her into that hug.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

Meredith.

[Bill / Billy]

That's her.

[Jake Johnson]

If Caleb's feeling like I don't like how that went, it's your job to get him into that hug. You four hug as family. This is fish. This is family.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, by the way, your legs are going to be tied together. So if someone doesn't want the hug, it's going to be really weird.

[Jake Johnson]

Is that a deal?

[Bill / Billy]

That's fair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Meredith, Caleb. Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Good luck.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, I got to say, we're in the midst of the greatest follow up.

[Jake Johnson]

This is an epic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is our best.

[Natalie Hollis]

I wrote down everything and I'm going to email it to you guys. And you guys need to email back both of you and say yes. Agreed. Because there's no verbal agreements on this. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's nice for some audience to feel the.

[Jake Johnson]

But Nat, you know how. What is something I get mad at you about?

[Natalie Hollis]

Nothing.

[Jake Johnson]

Not true.

[Natalie Hollis]

What you tell me you get.

[Jake Johnson]

I get mad at you because after calls you have ideas. This is what I've always wanted.

[Natalie Hollis]

I don't like to step on toes,

[Jake Johnson]

but this was great.

[Natalie Hollis]

Yeah, I know. Because, you know, Shark Tank, Marlin Tank was boring. And this is better.

[Jake Johnson]

Well, that was Gara's pitch. Your thoughts stop. How's that make you feel?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I then I embraced the challenge and we got to a better place.

[Jake Johnson]

Switch seats.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Jake Johnson]

Thank you for the call, guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're very excited.

[Jake Johnson]

This is going to be great for this one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is great.

[Meredith]

Thank you so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Bill / Billy]

Thanks so much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we're brought to you by Wayfair.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home Upgrade. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style every home

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

I started using Mint Mobile years ago. Now at this point could not be easier. All the things you would be worried about if you are leaving your phone company you do not need to worry about. The only thing you need to worry about is how you're going to keep all that money in your pocket and have people not notice the bulge. Sorry this is taking a strange direction but but it's true. Mint Mobile is just going to save you money.

[Jake Johnson]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

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[Jake Johnson]

Upgrade your every day. Download the Quints app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com here to help get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's quint Q-U I N C E.com here to help. Hello.

[Bill / Billy]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

How are you?

[Bill / Billy]

Oh, I'm doing great. How are you guys?

[Jake Johnson]

We're doing great. We're excited you're with us.

[Bill / Billy]

Oh, I'm excited. This is awesome.

[Jake Johnson]

It's awesome for us too. Can we get your name, please?

[Bill / Billy]

My name is Keith.

[Jake Johnson]

Keith. Where you calling from, Keith?

[Bill / Billy]

Rockford, Illinois.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, of course. Keith. How old are you, bud?

[Bill / Billy]

I'm 34.

[Jake Johnson]

34. And Keith, if you had a creative note to give the show to make it better, it's okay if it's a little nasty. You're just what's not working with the show these days, Keith.

[Bill / Billy]

Oh, I don't know. I've been loving it. But I did just listen to the one where you bully the girl and just stop smoking. So

[Jake Johnson]

you a smoker, Keith?

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah, I'm a former, you know, socially, every once in a while you get a few in me. I'll have one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But it is.

[Jake Johnson]

So you thought leave her alone, let her smoke.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah. It was pretty funny though.

[Jake Johnson]

On the other end of that song Cancer and Die.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keith, your, your aggressive note on the creative of the show is let that woman smoke.

[Bill / Billy]

That's right. Okay. Respect.

[Jake Johnson]

Keith, what can we do for you today, bud?

[Bill / Billy]

All right, so in a few months ago in the summer, I proposed to my live in girlfriend. At the time I got a nine year old son. He helped me, we set up the house, decorated everything. Luckily she said yes and so then went around and thank you, picked the wedding party and you know, I'm pretty close with my son so I asked him to be my best man. It was very cute. Everybody thought it was awesome. But logistically that caused us some problems because I can't throw any bachelor party which I've reassigned to some other people. But what I need help with is the speech because I can't have a 9 year old up there giving a speech. And so we were wondering what creative solutions we could have to have him

[Jake Johnson]

do for us on our wedding day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That is a very.

[Jake Johnson]

That's very interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I never would have thought of that. That's a very, very interesting predicament is what should we call the nine year old?

[Bill / Billy]

We just call him X. X.

[Jesse Thurston]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is he inclined to like, is he an outgoing individual?

[Bill / Billy]

Is not. And his idea was to do a card trick and I'm like, I don't know how a card trick can see 200 people. How many? How they can see a card trick up at the front of the.

[Jake Johnson]

I got a question for you, Keith. He's the best man, and I think that's awesome. Could you have a second best man?

[Bill / Billy]

So I do, but he's also my minister, so he's going to be giving the. The ceremony. And so I'm like, well, you just spent 45 minutes talking. What else are you gonna have to say?

[Jake Johnson]

Let me ask you a question. Walk us through who your wedding party is. Who are the guys who's standing up there with you? Minister?

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah, son, the minister. My son, my brother, my old college roommate. And then four. Just four buddies.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay. What's up with the bro?

[Bill / Billy]

So here's where you run into second wedding problems. Because he gave a speech at the first wedding, so I could. I could do that. But I think at the end of the day, my son really wants to do something too. To tell him, like, hey, you're not doing it. I don't think he'd like that.

[Jake Johnson]

Let me get a pitch. Go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is my pitch. And you're gonna say I'm making it about me, but I'm not. I'll work with the kid off show writing a speech, and we'll present it to you, Jake, and see what you think of it. And we'll prep him as best we can. I've given a number of speeches. I feel like I'm good at it. But we can write.

[Jake Johnson]

And can you and him do it over zoom on Patreon?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, and maybe it goes main show if it's good, but yes, of course it goes. Well.

[Jake Johnson]

No, the. You coming back and then doing it is main show. Yes, yes, but you working with him and prepping it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I can prep. I. What if I. Then you guys come back on his Karate Kid.

[Jake Johnson]

I love this. That is not making it about you. That's the show. Making it about you is stone.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We don't need an example.

[Jake Johnson]

It's crazy that you think is making it about you, though.

[Bill / Billy]

Hey, hey.

[Jake Johnson]

It shows me you don't understand what we discuss.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it would disgust. I don't act like we had an intervention. I'm you on the back with judo or whatever you little. Whatever you did in your little shed. Keith, what do you think of that? I can get some details from you. Maybe you could talk.

[Jake Johnson]

The three of you could talk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, the three of us could talk. And then me and the kid can go off and we can. We can write it. Yeah, no, because he doesn't. I don't want him to know this.

[Jake Johnson]

Oh, interesting. What if the dad didn't trust you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think we can make it short too. We don't need to put too much of a burden on him. He can have it written down. Gary can reverse it.

[Jake Johnson]

A couple. Gareth is a professional comedy writer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I like that. Don't feel pressure to take it. It's just a pitch.

[Jake Johnson]

It's a great pitch.

[Bill / Billy]

If I were to give one pushback, it would be, have you ever tried to sit with a 9 year old on Zoom for more than 5 ever

[Jake Johnson]

tried to sit with Gareth on a Zoom for more than five minutes?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm saying we're going to link up. I'm going to be. He's going to be like, gareth, focus. He's gonna be like, quit putting your name in the speech. And I'll go, it's not making it about me.

[Jake Johnson]

Then he's gonna go, why does your

[Bill / Billy]

hair look like that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll go, hey. And then. And then all of a sudden, leave meeting pops up on his screen. He's like, what?

[Jake Johnson]

But what do you think about trying? And if it doesn't work, then we come back and we do more pitches. But I think that could really. Because I think the end solution is this. Keith. I think he's got to get up there and I think he's got to do something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Keith, when is the wedding?

[Bill / Billy]

It's in June.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's in June. So we got some time. You. You kind of said it seems like he wants to give this speech.

[Bill / Billy]

I don't know if he wants to give a speech. He wants, but he wants to do something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, what if we said he could do a card trick, but he just doesn't.

[Jake Johnson]

But hold on, Gareth, you've already hit a home run here. Keith, let's have Gareth meet with you and X and start creating a 10 minute routine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

5.

[Jake Johnson]

5.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What do you mean?

[Bill / Billy]

So here's a comedy routine.

[Jake Johnson]

No, listen, listen, listen. Here's what you're at. You called us and said, my son's my best man, he wants to do something. When we went to my bro and others, you're like, nobody wants to do something. But would a card truck work? Then we've got a guy who professionally travels the country and stands in front of different people and does something in front of them. He also writes for. For TV shows and does comedy that way. So what he's offering is let's me and him get together over a Zoom and start talking about this thing and then re present it to me. So then I'll pitch on it too. Then we lock in with X, what the speech thing will be, where he goes, I feel very comfortable doing that. I really like it. Then that's what he does at your wedding.

[Bill / Billy]

Okay.

[Jake Johnson]

Like, this is absolutely perfect. And then if it's not working and Gareth and X get together and he goes like, he's a little bit too young. I couldn't really get through to him. Then we call you back, we say, x, you did so great. Then off the record, we go, let's come up with some new pitches.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Okay, so why don't we do that? Why don't. I'll, I'll have Jesse put you and I on an email. We'll get the ball rolling and then maybe like in the next week or so, you X and I can get on a zoom. And then once we kind of lay the foundation, maybe you bounce and X and I just spend a half hour. I'll write something up real easy, I'll type it up, we'll come up with it, I'll send it to him and then, you know, soon enough we'll hop on and. And he can read it to Jake

[Jake Johnson]

and we'll do a little practice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Does that sound okay?

[Bill / Billy]

No, that sounds great.

[Jake Johnson]

Okay.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Jake Johnson]

All right, let's. I think this could really win and then turn into a great speech for this guy. A great moment for you guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, honestly, he has so much time. So we can just get this locked in right now and then he has this thing, you know, he can be as ready as he can be for that moment. He can have it in his hands. And again, nine year old, low bar.

[Jake Johnson]

Agreed. So easy to win.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

Especially if he's got all the time. I'm sure if he's got two or three jokes in there too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Jake Johnson]

If he starts with a. Oh yeah, a sweet moment, a joke, and then everybody laughs, he's going to feel a ton of confidence.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. And I can give him advice on, you know, I mean, there's good advice to be. I've. I've helped people with, honestly, wedding speeches before. Like there are certain. There's just. I think we could get him to a pretty good spot even if he's nine.

[Bill / Billy]

Okay. I do. I have one rule I'm going to have to state here because the wedding is in Wisconsin and he's a Packers fan, but I'm not, so we got to keep the packers out of the speech. You know what I mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

How about this? I don't like rules.

[Bill / Billy]

Fair enough.

[Jake Johnson]

You're talking about to the bad boy of speech wedding.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Meredith]

Excuse me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you take your shoes off in the dojo, Keith. All right, all right, well, we'll do that. Okay, so we'll just do that off. Off show for a minute. We'll do something. We'll. Me and the kid can work on Patreon. Even if we don't have his video up, we can figure it out and we'll.

[Meredith]

We'll.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll get something going.

[Bill / Billy]

Okay, great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We'll start there. Okay. All right, buddy.

[Jake Johnson]

Hello.

[Bill / Billy]

Hello.

[Jake Johnson]

How are you?

[Bill / Billy]

I'm doing great. How about you guys?

[Jake Johnson]

We know this is a follow up. That's all we know. The floor is yours. Take over. Tell us everything.

[Bill / Billy]

All right. I'm Keith. I'm. I called in about help with my best man giving a speech at my wedding, which was last weekend.

[Jake Johnson]

Keith, Gareth, take over, brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, Keith, I've been excited for this one. Why don't you. Why don't you tell us what we started with and what you called in with? But this has been the longest rehearsal for a pitch ever, but go ahead. Keith, first of all, congratulations, because you just tied the knot about a week ago. Right?

[Bill / Billy]

Yes. We could go tomorrow, so thank you. You're welcome. So originally I called in, kind of hoping not to have him do a speech. I wasn't sure as a, you know, 9, 10 year old he'd be able to do that. And you guys convinced me. Have Gareth help him write the speech, and then over the next, gosh, I don't know, six months, you must have met with him. It feels like a dozen times. It. It felt like a lot of times.

[Jake Johnson]

Really quickly. All of that is on Patreon, I think. Gareth, you recorded all of them, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Every. So I worked with your son. Are we saying your son's name? Are we giving him a fake name? What do you want to do? Keith?

[Bill / Billy]

Keith. The real name's. Okay. Yeah. Xander.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we worked. Yeah, we worked with Xander, and then I worked with your friend Matt because we didn't want you to hear the speech.

[Jake Johnson]

Incredible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So. So I worked with Matt and your son on the speech. We tried to make it a good best man speech.

[Meredith]

We.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Every time we were rehearsing it. I will say I was extremely impressed with your son's ability to not only memorize the speech, but every time, like, he was in it to win it, and he. Every time we wrote, like. I kind of just wrote like a. You know, the first two times we met, we just kind of wrote it together. Some stuff that he did. I would try to implement, but he was always there. It always got better. And I mean, I don't know, we just kept at it, and it really was a very enjoyable process. And when I knew your wedding was coming up, I think we did one the like a week before, and I kind of kept emailing Matt, being like, how did it go? And he'd be like, the wedding's like, in four days. So I was very invested. So. But yeah, that's all on Patreon, if you want to see the rehearsals up to the event. But. But how did it go?

[Bill / Billy]

It went great. He did awesome. He really smooth the timing. Honestly, I was so impressed with his timing on some of the jokes and how they landed. And he's been getting compliments for the last week from just about everybody that was at the wedding.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So that's awesome.

[Jake Johnson]

What do you think the growth was? What do you think? Where are we at? You know, where. Where did we start all this stuff?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, he. He started, you know, I mean, he was definitely nervous. And then he just got better and better and literally, it. What was very crazy and what I did not expect is that he always took the notes. He would come back with pitches, though. He would go, oh, I was thinking of this. And I'd say, well, maybe that you do that. And he'd go, oh, I like that.

[Bill / Billy]

You know, I was very impressed with how many times you. You met with Sander, because it was. It was quite a few.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was a number.

[Jake Johnson]

Can I explain why, Keith?

[Bill / Billy]

Sure.

[Jake Johnson]

Gareth is a smart man and he understands content. This man will snip his testicles, wax his butthole, wax his pubes. If he understands that, there's a nice payoff working with a kid for a wedding speech. This man is a producer. He's no fool. And he goes, win, lose or draw, this shit's worth it. And this is a man who loves our show and he's willing to do the grind for it. So a round of applause from this audience for Gareth Reynolds, because we love you, brother.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No comment. There's some heart in there somewhere, but Jake's most.

[Jesse Thurston]

A lot of heart.

[Gareth Reynolds]

How does he feel? Is he happy? Does he feel like. It's always nice when you get compliments as a kid in that way.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah. He said he was happy with it. He thought he did a good job. So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. But this is a bell ring for us, right, Keith?

[Jake Johnson]

Excellent.

[Bill / Billy]

Oh, absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wedding bell ring. Really?

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah, that's right.

[Jake Johnson]

It's great.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, great. Very happy. Way to go. Tell Xander. I said what's up? And very happy. And tell Matt thank you too. He was so helpful.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah, absolutely. All right. Thank you guys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Natalie Hollis]

Hi, my name is Emily. I'm the one who signed up for the Corn on the Cob Eating contest. Official update I have signed up for the contest. It is July 30th at 7:38pm Eastern Standard Time, and I am officially signed up for the contest on August 29th. I have not been practicing as much as Jake and Gareth probably would have liked me to be, but I'm hoping now that I'm signed up, this will kick my ass into gear and hopefully I can at least do moderately. Okay. But even if I don't do that, good. I'm committed to eating corn on the 29th, so we'll see how that goes, I guess.

[Jesse Thurston]

Hey folks, this is William from Lancaster. This is a follow up from episode 244 titled Ear to Help and the Master appears with Eric Edelstein. Unfortunately, this is not a ring the bell update. Sorry guys, sorry Gareth. But I did want to share a few notes because it's been an impactful part of my life to have participated in the podcast and have a little bit of follow up. So I had asked the guys if I should retire from the martial arts. I started when I was 7 years old. I'll be 34 this year, so it's been a good run, but I've been in and out a lot and I was really considering just stopping altogether. The guys ultimately encouraged me to keep at it. Eric even said it's worth trying it out, right? In the sense to find out if I should open a school or something and really go for it on my own. But the big problem happened where I took a new job and this new job has had a significant change in my life where I just haven't had the time or energy outside of it to really, to really put the time and effort into the martial arts stuff. I unfortunately haven't put my uniform on in months, but I still love it in my heart. It's just not sure if and when it's going to be the time to retire or commit again. I will say there were a few folks who replied to the show and I really appreciate that the show forwarded those on to me and I got an encouragement from someone in a similar space, but also a few folks who said they were from my area and they would be interested in learning. And so. So we are still connected and I have those emails if something ever materializes. Alas, for now I couldn't get a location and all of my time dried up and there went the initiative. It was really a big bummer. Here's the laugh, though. I did enjoy a pretty hilarious small world moment when I was going out with some friends. One evening, my wife and I went out with another couple friend and we just got talking about stuff. We're newer friends, we only met recently. And so my martial arts art's background came up and I started telling them a bit of my story. Shout out, Trav. And as I went down the line with it, I just referenced how this is a slow season for me. I might be retiring as giving some of those little bits details. And Travis goes, oh, my gosh, this sounds just like this guy from an episode of my favorite podcast. Have you ever heard of we're here to Help? He's been doing karate forever, his master lives far away, and he's struggling with retirement. It sounds just like you. I looked at him in complete disbelief, and I was waiting for him to just laugh or reveal that it was a joke when I realized he didn't put two and two together. And he's kind of looking at me as I'm a little in. In disbelief. He's like, what's the matter? I was like, dude, that's me. And, and lots of laughs were had. It was really cool to just be found in the wild episode. I've had a couple family members listen to it and enjoy it, but just to have a random friend bring it up and, and have that laugh over dinner. So they loved the story. They were so excited to hear that. I got to chat with you guys and, and it was really such a pleasure. But if anything changes whether or not I open a school or just really, really kick off the dust, I'll let you all know. But for now, I. I kind of. I feel like I'm. I'm taking on Eric's advice. Like, I. I'll. I'll give it a shot and, and see it through if that. That opportunity comes. But it seems like I'm not going to be an English teacher in Japan. Like, like Eric, you know, he decided not to do it, and I think that's maybe where it is for me for now. So I appreciate you following up, and I hope to follow up with you someday in the future with a really positive ring the bell moment. But thanks for the laughs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, everybody, we just want to remind you, if you want to watch new episodes of We're Here to Help, it drops a day early on Hulu, so you can watch the new episode a day early. And we're also dropping a bunch of older episodes from season one and season two, so get involved.

[Jake Johnson]

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question@ HelpfulPodmail.com and if you want to watch video episodes of We're Here to Help, you can go to our [e-mail] heretohelpod to see our entire catalog.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We're Here to Help is produced by Rabbit Grimm Productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis associate producer Jesse Thurston Editing, mix and master by Chris Faller Theme song by Oliver Raleigh. The COVID artwork is by James Fosdike animations by Andrew Strecki and if you'd like to see Gareth do Stand up on the road, go to garethreynolds.com Remember, all the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.

[Jake Johnson]

That was a Headgum Podcast

[Gareth Reynolds]

what's up everybody?

[Jake Johnson]

I'm Kyle Mooney and what's up everybody? I'm back behind and man, ooh, we got something to tell you. Oh yeah, we definitely do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Jake Johnson]

It's a brand new podcast on Headgum.

[Meredith]

That's right.

[Jake Johnson]

And it's called what's Our Podcast?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Jake Johnson]

And that's because we don't have a single idea what our podcast should be about.

[Bill / Billy]

Yeah, we don't.

[Jake Johnson]

So we actually have guests come on and they tell us what they think our podcast should be about.

[Bill / Billy]

And then we try it.

[Jake Johnson]

Yep, guests like Marc Maron, Jack Black, Brittany Broski, Kate Berlant, Bobby Moynihan, Meg Stalter and Tim Balls, landon Axler, Joni McGreeves, and Dender and Dender. New episodes release every Wednesday, so subscribe to what's Our Podcast? On YouTube or any of your favorite podcast platforms.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'm gonna go do it right now.

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