AD: PURE Creativity And Not Getting Lost in Todays World

Summary

Podcast Summary: "AD: PURE Creativity And Not Getting Lost in Today's World"

Podcast Information:

• Title: We're Out of Time
• Host/Author: Richard Taite
• Episode: AD: PURE Creativity And Not Getting Lost in Today's World
• Release Date: April 15, 2025
• Description: This episode delves deep into the struggles and triumphs of creativity amidst the chaos of today's world, with a particular focus on the Fentanyl crisis, addiction, and mental health.

---

1. Introduction to Creativity and Authentic Expression

The episode opens with AD discussing the challenges of translating creative ideas into reality. He emphasizes the importance of capturing the initial spark of creativity before it gets diluted through repetition.

AD [00:00]: "When you write a song in your head the way that you really want it to come out... So when it's the first thought that comes to your mind, you say it."

AD reflects on how his appreciation for music deepened over time as he began to understand the underlying messages and stories within the songs.

2. The Intersection of Music and Personal Struggles

The conversation transitions to the role of music as a therapeutic outlet. AD shares how daily discussions about music and life act as therapy for him, helping him navigate personal challenges.

AD [30:47]: "Even when I want to trip, sometimes I still gotta have that heart and compassion that she instilled in me."

3. Addressing the Fentanyl Crisis

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing the devastating impact of the Fentanyl crisis. AD shares poignant stories about friends and community members lost to the drug, highlighting the urgent need for societal and systemic changes.

AD [10:27]: "Fentanyl, bro, a lot. And a lot of them, you know, it's crazy. It's not just rappers. It's just people that I know... it's sad, man."

4. Personal Loss and Its Aftermath

AD opens up about the emotional toll of losing close friends and family to addiction and violence. He recounts the loss of his homie, Money Mo, and the profound grief it caused.

AD [11:05]: "My homie, Money Mo, he was a cool guy... and we ended up like, are you familiar with NBA 2K?"

The Unknown Host shares his own experiences with loss, creating a space of mutual understanding and empathy.

5. The Ripple Effect on Families

The discussion delves into how the loss of children and parents to drugs and violence leaves lasting scars on families. AD speaks about witnessing the hollow grief of parents who have lost children and the enduring pain it inflicts.

AD [16:30]: "You can see someone's parent growing up and you can see how lively they are. And once they lose a child... they're never the same anymore."

6. Coping Mechanisms and Mental Health

AD and the host explore various coping mechanisms for dealing with grief and trauma. AD talks about being proactive in his mental health journey, including speech therapy for his son with autism and seeking support through daily conversations.

AD [20:16]: "And your feelings aren't facts. It's just how you feel. And then look, right now I'm out of it, so... it was a moment... everything's temporary."

7. Reflections on Community and Social Media

The conversation shifts to the influence of social media on community dynamics and how it has altered the landscape of street life and gang activities. AD notes that the visibility provided by social media has both positive and negative effects on community safety and awareness.

AD [14:43]: "Just in general, the information is out there for everybody... it's not hard, like, for the police to really know what's going on anymore."

8. Honoring Loved Ones and Legacy

AD shares heartfelt memories of his late grandmother, highlighting the impact she had on his values and life decisions. He recounts the peacefulness of her passing, surrounded by family, and the enduring lessons she imparted.

AD [22:26]: "When my grandma passed away, it was beautiful. She was surrounded by all her children, all her grandchildren... it was the most amazing death ever."

9. Embracing Diverse Roles and Future Aspirations

Towards the end of the episode, AD discusses his multifaceted career in rap, acting, and podcasting. He attributes his journey to a sense of guidance and the ability to follow his instincts, which he refers to as "feeling the pull."

AD [32:12]: "I just get quiet and I feel the pull and I go that way... you just gotta go with your gut."

10. Conclusion and Call to Action

In the closing segments, Richard Taite reiterates the importance of raising awareness about the Fentanyl crisis and encourages listeners to subscribe, rate, and share the podcast to amplify its impact.

Richard Tate [36:32]: "We're out of time. Please subscribe on YouTube, click the thumbs up, and leave a comment. Please subscribe on Apple podcast and Spotify and leave a rating and a review and share the we're out of time podcast with others you know who will get value out of it."

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Notable Quotes:

• AD [00:35]: "Once you just replicate it over and over again, it never comes out like that when you say it."
• AD [10:27]: "Fentanyl, bro, a lot. And a lot of them... it's sad, man."
• AD [16:30]: "They're never the same anymore. You can visit them. It's like they're just hollow."
• AD [22:26]: "When my grandma passed away, it was beautiful... it was the most amazing death ever."
• AD [32:12]: "I just get quiet and I feel the pull and I go that way."

Key Themes and Insights:

• The Urgency of Addressing the Fentanyl Crisis: The episode underscores the devastating toll Fentanyl is taking on communities, emphasizing the need for immediate action and support systems.

• Music as a Therapeutic Outlet: AD highlights how creativity and daily conversations about life serve as therapeutic tools, aiding in mental health and personal growth.

• Impact of Personal Loss: Through personal anecdotes, AD illustrates the profound effects of losing loved ones to addiction and violence, shedding light on the emotional and psychological struggles that follow.

• Role of Community and Social Media: The discussion points to the evolving dynamics of community interactions, particularly the role of social media in shaping perceptions and realities of street life.

• Coping with Grief and Trauma: Both hosts share their coping mechanisms, offering listeners relatable strategies for dealing with loss and emotional pain.

• Legacy and Values: AD's reflections on his grandmother's passing highlight the enduring influence of family values and the importance of honoring loved ones.

Conclusion

"AD: PURE Creativity And Not Getting Lost in Today's World" is a poignant exploration of the intersection between creativity, personal struggles, and the broader societal challenges posed by the Fentanyl crisis. Through heartfelt conversations and personal stories, AD and the Unknown Host provide listeners with a deeper understanding of the human side of addiction and loss, while also offering insights into coping mechanisms and the importance of community support.

For those seeking an honest and unfiltered look into the challenges of today's world, this episode offers both empathy and a call to action to address the pressing issues surrounding addiction and mental health.

Transcript

[AD]

Let's say you write a song in your head is the way that you really want to come out. And once you just replicate it over and over again, it never comes out like that when you say it. So when it's the first thought that comes to your mind, you say it. There goes a grand scheme of things right there. Later on in life, it made me appreciate the music way more. Once I can understand the subject matter, they ain't really right in the head. I've had homeboys that have done stuff one time, and you know how they say you get stuck? They didn't. Got stuck there mentally. Even when I want to steer all the way left, her voice tells me to go back in. So even when I want to trip, sometimes I still gotta have that heart and compassion that she instilled in me. Like, once you talk every day, it's like therapy.

[Richard Tate]

Thank you for listening to the we're out of Time podcast with Richard Tate. If you haven't already, please follow the podcast rate and review. And if you're getting value out of we're out of Time, share it with someone else, you know.

[AD]

AD yes, sir. What up, bro?

[Unknown Host]

Thanks for coming, man. I appreciate it.

[AD]

I like man with man. The hospitality is great, so I'm.

[Unknown Host]

I'm shocked. First of all, you're the first rapper to ever come on time. You were early.

[AD]

Yeah, I was early.

[Unknown Host]

You didn't come with a posse? Nah. Are you packing?

[AD]

I'm always packing.

[Unknown Host]

Atta boy. Yeah, we're two for three. We're two for three.

[AD]

I'm always great, dude.

[Unknown Host]

That's awesome.

[AD]

Packing love, though. Packing love. Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

I don't give a. I feel safer. I feel safer when you're packing. This is a tough neighborhood. Everybody in their Bentleys driving by. You never know one ounce.

[AD]

Come on, man. Oj. OJ flew. He was out here, look.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, he was. Hey, O.J. was innocent.

[AD]

Yes, he was.

[Unknown Host]

Damn straight.

[AD]

I like that. I like that.

[Unknown Host]

Come on, man. You know how I do it. So you. I was listening to. What song was I listening to before?

[AD]

Oh, it was on the Radar. Freestyle shout out to Gay from On the Radar too.

[Unknown Host]

And they haven't released that yet.

[AD]

Right.

[Unknown Host]

And we can put this out. When are you gonna release it?

[AD]

When you drop it on this.

[Unknown Host]

Really?

[AD]

Yeah, we'll do it like that.

[Unknown Host]

You know, the SoundCloud era is cool and everything, but I didn't grow up in that. That ain't my thing. You're the first guy that came here where I was like this.

[AD]

I come from that era, though. I was born in 89.

[Unknown Host]

You were born in 89?

[AD]

Yeah, for sure.

[Unknown Host]

Okay, so 96 was when what? Pocket and those guys.

[AD]

96? Yep.

[Unknown Host]

All right. You know, so you're seven. So you weren't really into it then.

[AD]

You know what's crazy is that later on in life, it made me appreciate the music way more. Once I can understand the subject matter.

[Unknown Host]

I don't get it.

[AD]

No, no, no, tell me.

[Unknown Host]

I didn't get it.

[AD]

So basically, you know, when you, like, when you're listening to music as a. As a youth, you may like the melodies, you may like the beat, and you're not really knowing what they're talking about. So Pac having songs like Brenda's Had Got a Baby, you know what I mean? Shorty Want to Be a Thug and stuff like that, you don't really understand that until you get older, live, you know, that life. And once you see you be like, damn, he really was a visionary. He really was. You know, being a spokesperson for the hood, like, it was crazy. For sure. For sure.

[Unknown Host]

But I heard in that song that we listened to, you were. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it felt to me like you were saying, drugs are no good.

[AD]

I wasn't saying that.

[Unknown Host]

What were you saying?

[AD]

How the hell you get that from there?

[Unknown Host]

Well, because there was a. There was a lyric, something about. And I don't remember. It's something like this thing was whack or something. I don't remember. Am I. Am I. Am I not getting it? What was it about?

[AD]

It was. It was. It was basically kind of like. See, what I do when I do these freestyles, it's like a reflection of what I got going on and stuff.

[Unknown Host]

Write that. That was all freestyle.

[AD]

That was freestyle.

[Unknown Host]

Do you write anything?

[AD]

I try not to.

[Unknown Host]

Really?

[AD]

Yeah. So what I do is like, I. I know, like when you first get in the booth, or like, let's say you write a song in your head is the way that you really want it to come out. And once you just replicate it over and over again, it never comes out like that when you say it. So when it's the first thought that comes to your mind, you say it. There goes a grand scheme of things right there. So you just do that shit like that.

[Unknown Host]

So when you got a. When you got a. It blows up, right? That song blows up.

[AD]

It goes up, right.

[Unknown Host]

How do you sing it again?

[AD]

No, no. You remember it then.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, you remember?

[AD]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Host]

You remember what blows up?

[AD]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, when you really like a song Especially me. If it's a song that I make and I really like it, I'm going to play it all day for the next, like, four to five days. So I have it, like, straight. Any song that I like, I'll play for, like, four to five days. Just that song, though. Yeah, just that song. Same thing. Yeah. So you. So you learn it, though. But I do have songs that I've forgotten. This too. Yeah, for sure, for sure.

[Unknown Host]

That's great. So talk to me about. You do drugs?

[AD]

No, I don't do drugs.

[Unknown Host]

You don't do drugs?

[AD]

What do you mean by drugs, though?

[Unknown Host]

Okay, well, I know you smoke pot.

[AD]

Yeah, Smoke pot.

[Unknown Host]

Okay.

[AD]

So I'm a. I drink like a sailor.

[Unknown Host]

Okay.

[AD]

And yeah, mushrooms as well, too, but I don't consider that a drug.

[Unknown Host]

All right. Do you do perks?

[AD]

No.

[Unknown Host]

No press perks?

[AD]

No.

[Unknown Host]

Powders?

[AD]

No.

[Unknown Host]

Any other pills? Nope.

[AD]

Lean, high blood pressure pills.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, yeah. No kidding? Yeah.

[AD]

Dude.

[Unknown Host]

Dude, if I've got high blood pressure, you've got high blood pressure. Sorry, I mean.

[AD]

Hey, I'm just saying.

[Unknown Host]

That's it you want from me?

[AD]

They're the only pills, man. Hey, it is what it is.

[Unknown Host]

Some. But you're not doing any. Any hard drugs?

[AD]

Nah.

[Unknown Host]

No. All right.

[AD]

You know where I come from, like, tell me you'll get beat up for that back in the days. Hell yeah. I'm from Compton, bro. Like, my big homies, they really you up. Like, are you on drugs, man? Get. Get your ass out of here.

[Unknown Host]

Really?

[AD]

Yeah. You can smoke some weed, you could do some drink.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[AD]

But you don't never want to do anything to be off deck, like. You know what I mean?

[Unknown Host]

Right.

[AD]

Especially when you walking outside and you got to pay attention. You don't know somebody about to come blast the street, anything like that, too. So. I was always taught to be on point, and I didn't smoke or drink until I was 21 years old. I was just strictly, like, just paying attention to every stream.

[Unknown Host]

You're just walking down the street with your hat on a swivel.

[AD]

Oh, you have to. Even when you're driving and stuff, too. So I mean, like, a lot.

[Unknown Host]

Compton, right?

[AD]

Compton, yeah.

[Unknown Host]

Hey, what is 103rd and Hoover?

[AD]

103Rd, that's. That's that's like, close to, like, Watson.

[Unknown Host]

Okay.

[AD]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

What is. And so that's where I used to stay on 103rd and Hoover. And then what's 61st and Vermont?

[AD]

That's the 60s.

[Unknown Host]

Is that. Is that.

[AD]

That's LA. That's what we consider South Central, okay?

[Unknown Host]

Those are the two places that I used to hang out in 1984, because my friends were there, and I. It was a quarterback in high school, so this is where my guys were living, right? And that's where you got the best games going. The best games.

[AD]

So.

[Unknown Host]

Right. And so I'd go down there every day. And I remember, man. Walking down the street, right? And if anybody asked me where I was from, I was told nowhere. That was my nowhere, right? And I don't even know why. Okay.

[AD]

To this day, you must have had an Afro back then.

[Unknown Host]

Me?

[AD]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, no, no, no. Well, yes, because. Because I'm Jewish, right?

[AD]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

And so I had that curly, frizzy do. And then check this out. What I used to do is there was this Revlon product, right? And they had this African American woman on it with straight hair. And this is called Relaxer. And you did it.

[AD]

I know. Relaxer.

[Unknown Host]

Straighten your hair, right? So I'd straighten my hair to look like Pat Riley.

[AD]

Wow.

[Unknown Host]

Because that was the guy back when I was a kid.

[AD]

Wow.

[Unknown Host]

Pat Riley was everything. And it would be stick that perfect, but it would stink to high heaven.

[AD]

Smell like eggs, right?

[Unknown Host]

I don't.

[AD]

I didn't had a texturizer before.

[Unknown Host]

Do you know what it smelled like? It smelled like sulfur. Yeah. And I was just so bummed out about it. So I looked gorgeous, but if a girl got close to me, she'd want to vomit. Right? So then the second the smell went away, it was all frizzy and curly again.

[AD]

Is that how you lost your hair?

[Unknown Host]

No, the way I lost my hair is I'm 58, and I just got old.

[AD]

Okay.

[Unknown Host]

Okay. And when you get old, when you're 58, what happens is you have this thing, you lose your hair here first, and then you have this on the sides, and it's like, yeah, I'm going.

[AD]

To Turkey before that.

[Unknown Host]

Turkey?

[AD]

Yeah, for sure.

[Unknown Host]

For. To get a hair transplant.

[AD]

Yeah, for sure. I'm not going out like that.

[Unknown Host]

You got. You think you got to go to.

[AD]

Turkey to get a. I'm going. I mean, unless you got a plug for me, I can go down the street or something. I'm not a plug.

[Unknown Host]

Was a drug addict, Dylan. I mean, a drug dealer.

[AD]

No, no. We need hair transplant plugs.

[Unknown Host]

Oh. Oh. This is a real plug.

[AD]

I did. Listen, I'm the plug guy. I like finding plugs. I like being able to say, hey, my homie over there, he hooked me up with the hair transplant guy. Boom. You could. You can go over there. We ain't got to fly to Turkey, bring the business to them.

[Unknown Host]

I'm pretty sure in the wealthiest country in the world, we can get a hair transplant and not run to Turkey.

[AD]

See how much is it, though?

[Unknown Host]

Oh, it's going to be more.

[AD]

See that? I don't want that. I want the plug.

[Unknown Host]

You want plug?

[AD]

I want that one's. Hey, I want you to say, hey, bro. A.D. and Luca are coming over here. Put Lucas hair on Ad's head. You know what I'm saying?

[Unknown Host]

Like, that they don't know who Luca.

[AD]

Is, so they got about to find out.

[Unknown Host]

Luca is the poodle that sits on my lap every once in a while just because I think it's gangster, just so I can fit it.

[AD]

I got one, too, but mine's black, though. I got two of them. Oh, well, that's the same.

[Unknown Host]

Well, that's normal. You got a black one, I got a white one.

[AD]

Hey, here's what it is.

[Unknown Host]

You want to switch dogs just so that we can be culturally cool.

[AD]

We can. Luca, cool with me. My dogs don't fetch that. Trained just like.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, well, you know, that's how I do it. We turn in your. You're going to the studio after this. You do your own podcast.

[AD]

We going. I'm actually. You know what I'm saying? We have podcasts, so we're doing that today. It's called community.

[Unknown Host]

So tell me about the. We're going to plug that for you in a minute. By the end, for sure, but. And you won't let me forget, but I want to know. You're in this rap scene, man, and you're actually good at it. Yeah, like, that was. That was like. I. You saw me loving it.

[AD]

I fog with it, right? You yelled at him. He was like, this is the. This is music.

[Unknown Host]

That's right.

[AD]

I like that.

[Unknown Host]

That's right. And so you're around these guys who are doing the pressed perks, and how many guys, you know that have died, overdosed on fentanyl?

[AD]

Fentanyl, bro, A lot. And a lot of them, you know, it's crazy. It's not just rappers. It's just people that I know is young people and some older people. And like that. It's sad, man. I tell people now, it's like, look, like I said, I drink like a sailor, right? I do my thing. It's not worth it to really take shit now because I've had friends who used to test all this, and they still ended up, you know, flatline. So it's crazy. A couple people I Know they ain't got found in cars.

[Unknown Host]

Tell me about. Tell me about the person you are closest with who overdosed and died on fentanyl.

[AD]

Oh, you know, I had my homie, man. His name was Money Mo, man. He was Money Mo. Money Mo, yo.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. That's the best name I've heard so far.

[AD]

Yeah, he was. He was a cool guy, but, you know, him and his brother, it was.

[Unknown Host]

No, no. You want to know what, though? You know, it even be cooler than Money Mo.

[AD]

What?

[Unknown Host]

Mo Money.

[AD]

I like that. So I like that he's. Now you. Now you talk money. Now you talking. No Money Mo problems. Yeah, that. That is like that. Nah, but my homeboy, him and his brother, bro, they were like. And I love them to death when I say this. They was the craziest, like two brothers. So during the day, businessmen, they do their thing. At night, they do they. And they turn to straight maniacs and they fight each other. And I loved it every single time. And, yeah, we ended up like, are you familiar with NBA 2K?

[Unknown Host]

The game? Yeah, I'm familiar with the NBA, but I don't play video games, but go on, I can get it.

[AD]

So we ended up. I think I amassed almost 30,000 in bets with NBA 2K with him. Now, did they give me 30,000? No, we always talked it down, whatever it was. But those was good times, man. I was, you know, a real bum when the homie passed away. Yeah, he would just get high playing BA2K, and I would usually win. And, yeah, they got me a little check.

[Unknown Host]

What about. Did he have kids?

[AD]

No.

[Unknown Host]

No. Yeah. Who View. Who have you known who's passed away that you are close with that had children? The part that gets to me is when the parent dies and the children are left suffering or the children die and the parents are completely destroyed, because that's not something you get over. I don't. That's not something you get through.

[AD]

No.

[Unknown Host]

Okay. It's that that destroys. Yeah. That is too much to bear. And that's why we do this, right? Because when I have somebody like you on and you say, hey, look, this is BS with that @ all, because you die.

[AD]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's crazy too. Like. Like my brother, you know, I know, like, a lot of younger people, they really get into it. And I never forgive my little brother. His password. Like, it was like, I love lsd. And I was like, bro, like, what the is wrong with you? You know, I mean, like, just stopping there, because I never want, you know, for that to lead to other stuff. And I have family members. I don't know if they're technically on fentanyl, but I know that they done some stuff and they ain't really, you know, right in the head. I've had homeboys that have done stuff one time and you know how they say you get stuck. They didn't. Got stuck there mentally. So, yeah, I have my fair share of that as well, too. But you know, my community, where I come from, we lose a lot of children to gang violence. Senseless.

[Unknown Host]

Well, that's because. Correct me if I'm wrong, but there's. They're slinging drugs out there and they're going back and forth into other people's territories, right?

[AD]

Yes, a lot of that too. You're right.

[Unknown Host]

And that's why they're getting. That's why they're getting shot.

[AD]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Unknown Host]

But do they still have those gang initiations where you got to go out and pop somebody just randomly?

[AD]

Nah, nah, it ain't like that no more. You know, like I said, it's a younger thing now where. I mean, Instagram and social media change the whole climate with everything.

[Unknown Host]

How so?

[AD]

Just in general, the information is out there for everybody. So there's guys online that can make documentaries about things that are going on in the streets without ever meeting these people. They can get the whole breakdown. People posting people's paperwork online. It's all type of stuff now. It's not hard, like for the police to really know what's going on anymore.

[Unknown Host]

Right.

[AD]

That situation of just be quiet and do that, that's just over with.

[Unknown Host]

Well, if they're on social media.

[AD]

Well, everyone's on social media.

[Unknown Host]

I wasn't on social media for five years until I came back to work. Only because I'm not.

[AD]

Look, see, I fuck with that. Come from a different, you know, class. I come from a different class too. But even though now, like, I'm in this and I do it, I still, you know, I still have those same principles that I carry with me when I'm online and doing what I do. But that drug, that shit's trash. Fucking hate that.

[Unknown Host]

You know, any kids that have died and their parents are just.

[AD]

They're never the same.

[Unknown Host]

Do you know them?

[AD]

Yes, personally.

[Unknown Host]

Tell me about one of those and what the. What the parents went through and how.

[AD]

They'Re doing today, I will honestly say you can. You can see someone's parent growing up and you can see how lively they are. And once they lose a child, how, like I said, they're Never the same anymore. You can visit them. It's like they're just hollow. They're not there anymore. And I've seen that so many times. And I can. I can understand, you know, I mean, I have a. You know. Know somebody that I look at like family. He lost his daughter. You know what I mean? I want to say she was in the sixth grade, but this is. Not to drugs or anything like that.

[Unknown Host]

Okay, good.

[AD]

Yeah. Not to drugs or anything like that. I think. I really don't even know. Like, he said that she woke up one day, she was having, like, some sort of pain. They kept her for like, two days or something. And the next thing you know, they said that her organs just started failing. And it was just the craziest. And I see, like, my family, like, how they struggle all the time and stuff like that. It never gets better. It never gets better. Even having random conversations, regular conversations with him, you know, he could just break down and I understand it. And then I have children, too. And how old are your kids? My son is 6 and my daughter's about to be 16. Yeah, my daughter got the same birthday as me. My son, he has autism, so I stay with him. Super, super. Stay on him.

[Unknown Host]

Autism. Don't label this kid. Autism's a gift.

[AD]

Oh, yeah, 100%.

[Unknown Host]

He can't do certain things that everybody else can do, but he can do great things. You just have to find out what he's great at. Because I'll tell you something, okay. I'm a lot like that. If everybody can do something, I have absolutely no clue how to do it. I can. I0 clue. I can barely take care of myself. Right. Which is why I have, you know, the support I need. But if no one can do slows down. And I can probably figure it out.

[AD]

I like that.

[Unknown Host]

Okay. And that's probably like your kid. Should we give him a name?

[AD]

Astro. That's his name.

[Unknown Host]

Asher.

[AD]

Astro.

[Unknown Host]

Astro, yeah. They call him Ash.

[AD]

No, we just call him Astro. Or younger. Stro.

[Unknown Host]

Stro?

[AD]

Yeah. He's like, yeah, Stro. Stro.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. Six years old.

[AD]

Six.

[Unknown Host]

Beautiful.

[AD]

Love them.

[Unknown Host]

Well, for me, I don't know about. For you, but for me, two and a half to six was the best ages for my children. Fire.

[AD]

Why is that, though?

[Unknown Host]

Because they haven't asserted their independence yet. And so they're all yours.

[AD]

I agree. I like that you can tell that.

[Unknown Host]

They say I love you in front of their friends. They sleep in your bed, you know, they hold your hand when you cross the street, you know, and it just you lose that and it's different. It's, it's beautiful. Now don't get me wrong, I've. I have a fantastic relationship. It's just, it's different and it's beautiful. He's just, you know, you just enjoy where this is because, you know, from the 15 year old. You've got a 15 year old daughter, right? Right now.

[AD]

Ah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Host]

But it's reluctant.

[AD]

It's different. Yeah, it's real open. I've seen from, oh, this is my little girl to your dad, like, you know what I mean? And my profession, it makes it cool because I get to give her certain perks that she really wouldn't have, but she still is like, whatever. And it's crazy too because my son's mom, when, when I was on the way here, she was telling me like, hey, you need to instill some type of discipline in him. Right? So my son, the six year old. Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

Discipline in the six year.

[AD]

Well, just because of his development, he's still non verbal right now.

[Unknown Host]

Really?

[AD]

Yeah, still not.

[Unknown Host]

Wait a timeout. Have you gotten him a speech therapist?

[AD]

Yep. Speech therapy. Aba, he does all of that. Hello. It's been speech therapy about two years.

[Unknown Host]

Now and he hasn't spoken yet.

[AD]

But a lot of people, they told me like, I have friends who this kid didn't speak to. Those 11, 10, 9. I know it's gonna happen, but.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. Remind me afterwards to find a top notch speech therapist, please.

[AD]

Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[AD]

I'm used to it though, dude.

[Unknown Host]

It's. It's. You're used to it. I'm never used to it because I feel everybody's pain. Everybody's. I walk through life completely tortured. Completely. I feel everybody's pain. It just, it just destroys me. It's just never going away.

[AD]

Damn.

[Unknown Host]

Just the way it's always been.

[AD]

That may be a gift though.

[Unknown Host]

It doesn't feel like a gift. It feels like hell.

[AD]

Yeah. How you deal with it though?

[Unknown Host]

I don't have a choice. I just move forward.

[AD]

I like that.

[Unknown Host]

You know, that's, you know, nobody cares how you feel.

[AD]

No, they don't.

[Unknown Host]

And your feelings aren't facts. Okay. It's just how you feel. And then like, look, right now I'm out of it, so. It was a moment. It was like, you know, the clouds are coming and it's just everything passes.

[AD]

Everything's temporary though.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. It's all temporary.

[AD]

And then like death. Except for when you do.

[Unknown Host]

Except for when you do street drugs.

[AD]

Yes.

[Unknown Host]

Then. Then that's a Permanent thing.

[AD]

And. But is death even the end if you believe in certain things?

[Unknown Host]

Well, it's the end here. Yeah, for sure. Right. And I don't care how connected to God you are, okay, you go ahead and you lose your kid, okay? You may not be cursing God, okay, but you're destroyed.

[AD]

I couldn't imagine.

[Unknown Host]

Well, that's not.

[AD]

I couldn't imagine.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[AD]

If you want to know, like, how I grew up, right? So growing up in Compton, people just hear Compton, right?

[Unknown Host]

Right.

[AD]

My grandmother, God rest her soul, she'd worked for a school district for about 30 to 40 years. The company Unified School District. So, man, she was a woman straight by the book. Very loving. Just. Just very, very. She teach her family art? Yeah, she was a teacher. But it was deep, though, because I wasn't doing the right thing, because I didn't, like. I kind of was, like, not wanting to believe that she was getting sicker.

[Unknown Host]

How old were you? Oh, when she passed?

[AD]

This is 10 years ago to. 25. Yeah, 25 years old.

[Unknown Host]

Tell me, tell me, was she in the hospital?

[AD]

She would go back and forth to the hospital.

[Unknown Host]

You visit her in the hospital all the time?

[AD]

I lived with her almost my whole life.

[Unknown Host]

Me, too.

[AD]

That was my best friend. Like, for real. For real. But I got so used to her going back and forth to the hospital. So the one day before she passed away, I thought it was just regular routine. I thought I could just be out with a girl somewhere. And, yeah, my mom. My phone had died. I woke up the next morning, my mom was like, hey, rush to the hospital. Rush to the hospital. And I'm like, huh? What's going on? And then I get there and they like, yeah, she's not going to make it. She's not going to make it past today. And it was. I was like, what the. Like, just out of nowhere, though.

[Unknown Host]

And you were with her there?

[AD]

Yeah, 100%.

[Unknown Host]

Take her hand.

[AD]

Oh, my God. It was. When I say, I cannot get upset, because it probably had to be the most amazing death ever. I know that probably sound crazy, but literally, she was surrounded by all her children. My auntie got the fly out. We was in a room. Almost all her grandchildren, all her children, surrounded by love. She got to say her last goodbyes. Everybody got to say stuff to her. And that was it. We stayed in that room until she passed away. It was beautiful. So I can't get mad about that. Yeah. For real. For real.

[Unknown Host]

That is beautiful.

[AD]

I fuck with it.

[Unknown Host]

That's. That sounds like my exact experience. She was my best friend too. And she was in the hospital for three days. And on the first day, she was suffering, and I knew she wasn't coming back. And everybody knew she wasn't coming back. And at the end of the first day, her three kids were there, and me. And it's my grandmother. It's not my mother. So I brought all three kids together. I think I was 35. And I said, hey, we had a deal that we would not let this woman suffer. And one of her sons said to me, she's not suffering. And I said, yes, she is. So I waited these people out, and then, you know, they'd come in and they'd give her a drip. Couple drips every 5, 10 hours, whatever it was, to increase her morphine drip, because that's how. That's how they basically put you down.

[AD]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

When you're suffering like that. And after two days, my mother couldn't take it anymore, and she left. And after three days, her other two sons left, and I was there alone. And I would sit there and hold her hand and rub her feet, and I was like, what am I gonna do when this woman goes? Because my closest friend was my grandfather. And when he passed and my parents got divorced, I lost 25 years. You know, it was too much for me. I know that sounds weak, but that's where I was at that point.

[AD]

It was not weak at all.

[Unknown Host]

It is weak, but it for me. But it happened. And that's. And that's the truth. And that's where I was. And so after he went, that's when we started getting close. And we stayed and I lived with her because when my parents got divorced, we lost our home. My dad stopped paying for it, and he went with another family. And we were all stuck, and we had nowhere to go. So we moved in with my grandmother into her apartment. And I'm 17, 18, right. And so when she left, I was just. When. When she was in the hospital dying, and I saw the writing on the wall, and I waited everybody out. I couldn't let her suffer one more second because she had emphysema as well as other things and emphysema. If you know anything about that. You struggle for every breath. It's like you're perpetually drowning. So I called the head nurse in, and I said, hey, I don't want this anymore. Deal with this right now. And I want to see you every hour, and I want you coming in here and doing this every hour. Okay? And she said, okay. They knew. And every hour, they gave her two more Drips. And this woman would not die with me in the room. She would not do it. So my brother. My little brother comes in and he says, what are you doing? And I said, we're dealing with your grandmother. Sit down, Say goodbye. And he runs out of the room and he calls my mother. And I go to the. You know, there was no. I don't think there were cell phones or whatever. And I went to the front desk, too. And she says, leave my mother alone. And I'm like. Just as I'm talking to my mother, there's a light above the room, the blue one. And it went on when my brother was holding her hand. And it was perfect because she wouldn't have gone with me holding her hand in the room. And she was mad at my little brother because he was disrespectful to her. And this was his way of getting closure with her. And I know she forgave him at the end anyway.

[AD]

That's beautiful.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. I don't know.

[AD]

I like that.

[Unknown Host]

Not really.

[AD]

Yeah, I like that. You gotta think about it, right?

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[AD]

So many people, they be. You know, they were. Oh, we found them. They had a heart attack. We found them laid over. Stuff like that. Like. Like that happens. You were like, oh, that's up. But to be surrounded by people that you love in your final moments, you cannot find a better way to go.

[Unknown Host]

If you're not suffering.

[AD]

Even if you are suffering, though, wouldn't you want to be around your people? You're probably very, very scared. You probably not telling people how you really feel. And just having that family around, that probably eases it a little bit.

[Unknown Host]

I think you're right.

[AD]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

I think you're excited.

[AD]

Because my grandma was definitely. And the crazy part about it was too, is that, like, my mom told me afterwards, like, you know, she didn't want to let me see her suffering. But my mom always told me she knew the last time that she came, they would take fluid out of her stomach with, like, a big old needle. And she said my grandmother didn't flinch. So she knew. And I remember I asked my granny one time, I said, you know, she wasn't eating because it was hurting her to eat. To eat any type of food. And I told her, I was like, do you want to die? And she kind of was, like, blank. Like, you know, like she was ready to go. And I didn't pick up on those cues until later on, but I was like, damn. I think I was being more selfish. Cause I didn't want her to go. You Know what I mean? And part of me not wanting her to go was, you know, I always told her I would move her out of Compton. You know, she'll get to see me be successful, and I would get her out of there. But I wasn't prepared for that, so I thought I had more time, which I didn't. But I know she's looking down at me, you know what I mean? Proud, so. And, you know, even when I want to steer all the way left, it's like a little. Her voice tells me to go back in. So even when I want to trip sometimes, I still gotta have that heart and compassion that she instilled in me.

[Unknown Host]

That's your moral compass. We're living in a place where. In a time where people don't know the difference between right and wrong. And there's no common sense. None at all. At all. Okay, well, that was depressing. Okay.

[AD]

It's all good. Once you talk for, like, once you talk every day. It's like therapy. So it's great. I, like. I like to get like that off. And it's very seldom that I go places and people ask those type of deep questions. So that's dope.

[Unknown Host]

Well, that's why we're here. We're not. Dude, I don't do small talk. I don't know how to do small talk with it.

[AD]

I with it. For real. For reals. And when I say that, I ain't capping.

[Unknown Host]

So what are you doing today, man? I hear you're a big shot.

[AD]

Rapping, acting, podcasting, broadcast everything. Like I said, I let God just lead me to where I go. So I didn't, like, get into podcasting because I wanted to get into podcasting. I didn't get into a lot of the stuff I do because I wanted to do it. We have radio now. All these things I did not know was going to be, you know, in the cards for me. And, yeah, I just know how one thing leads to another. And, man, it's just. It's dope to see because I'm living kind of like in assimilation. And I can't believe, like, some of the. That I'm doing and what I'm known for, it's crazy.

[Unknown Host]

Can I tell you what I call that?

[AD]

What's that?

[Unknown Host]

I feel the pull. So. Right. So when I feel the pull. Right, Right. Feel the pull. Right. I go in that direction.

[AD]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

Wherever. Right. And people don't understand that. They look at. If you talk to, like, CEOs and business people and you say, no, no, I'M I kind of do it differently. I, I, I just get quiet and I feel the pull and I go that way, right? They look at me like I'm a psycho.

[AD]

Same thing. And these ain't CEOs. These are just people, right? People in the hood, they were like, man, you crazy. Don't do that. And it's, I mean, like, you just gotta go, you gotta go with your gut. You have to always do.

[Unknown Host]

God does bank shots just to show off.

[AD]

I like that.

[Unknown Host]

You can use it.

[AD]

You got, you got bars, man. You sure you ain't a rapper, dude.

[Unknown Host]

You can use anything I sell as long as you give me credit the first three times and then it's yours.

[AD]

I got you. I'm gonna give it to you five times. No, no raise.

[Unknown Host]

The rule, not five. Now by five. That's crazy. Yeah. He's degenerate of heart. The generous, that's the generosity of spirit is incredible.

[AD]

Thank you, brother. I appreciate that.

[Unknown Host]

No, I appreciate you. Hey, I like the ice. What does it say?

[AD]

Thank you. This is a cannabis brand I'm a part of. It's called Big Chief.

[Unknown Host]

Okay. So we probably shouldn't probably bring that up, but whatever. Hey, you're doing it in dispensary, right?

[AD]

Yeah. Legally.

[Unknown Host]

Show that to the camera. So we get us, right?

[AD]

Yeah, legally.

[Unknown Host]

That's gorgeous.

[AD]

Let me show you my eyes. Was it a foe?

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[AD]

See what happened? What's the forest there for?

[Unknown Host]

4. The four most important people in my life.

[AD]

I like that. Who are they?

[Unknown Host]

I can't tell you. The others get upset.

[AD]

That's Mark.

[Unknown Host]

They know who they are.

[AD]

I, I like that. I like that.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, yeah, but, but you know, this is kind of big, right? Same size.

[AD]

I could see like some little. It was a little diamonds on there.

[Unknown Host]

If you could see them. I don't know, I. My eyes aren't good enough to see the diamond.

[AD]

As long as it's symbolic because you know what? My grandma's chain, I don't take this off. Now the Jesus piece that fell off. Jesus fell off. The Jesus piece at first and then the Jesus piece fell off and I didn't got this lengthened and it was long before too. But I don't take this off. It's very seldom I take this off. So this is, you know, part of my grandma I keep with me as well too. So that's symbolic to me. Don't got no ice on there or anything like that. That's her gold chain. So. Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

So this is weird because we just started this thing six Months ago. Right. And we've got like. I don't know, what do we have? 26,000 subscribers. And we typically get, you know, in the hundred views. A hundred thousand views. We've got a couple people break 200,000. But it's like this has been going on for six months. And so I didn't think anything of it. I just wanted to do this thing and spread fentanyl awareness. But now we're getting all this love, so we're getting all the love. And I'm trying to sit there and respond to everybody. Dude, it's. Well, you got to. Dude, it's. You gotta. If somebody calls and they ask you for help, you gotta. You gotta give them direction and you gotta refer them out to. To certain places. I mean, this is what I kind of do. Okay. So I'm getting overwhelmed. And don't think I'm not loving the. The. The fact that you guys love the show and you're saying nice things and, And. And I want you to ask me. I just. I'm begging you, don't be upset, okay? I'm working as fast as I can. I didn't know it was going to be this big this fast. I didn't know. Right. So anyway. Yeah.

[AD]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

All right. Where can people find you?

[AD]

Hey, man, you can find everything at iitsad. Watch Community clips. Watch. We starving. Watch Fig Muni World. Watch back on Fig. Watch the Apollo Watch Ace. Boys, we got a lot of going. See you next Tuesday.

[Richard Tate]

We're out of time. Please subscribe on YouTube, click the thumbs up and leave a comment. Please subscribe on Apple podcast and Spotify and leave a rating and a review and share the we're out of time podcast with others you know who will get value out of it. See you next Tuesday.