From Grief to Purpose: Erik Thureson on the Loss of His Son, Hella Sketchy

Summary

Podcast Summary: "From Grief to Purpose: Erik Thureson on the Loss of His Son, Hella Sketchy"

Episode Release Date: May 27, 2025
Podcast: We're Out of Time
Host: Richard Taite

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Introduction

In this deeply moving episode of "We're Out of Time," host Richard Taite interviews Erik Thureson, who opens up about the tragic loss of his 18-year-old son, Jacob Tyler Thureson, known in the underground rap scene as Hella Sketchy. Erik shares his son's remarkable talents, their family's struggle with addiction, and how this heartbreaking journey transformed his purpose into advocating against the fentanyl crisis.

Jacob's Early Life and Exceptional Talents

Erik paints a vivid picture of Jacob's extraordinary abilities from a young age.

• Early Academic Prowess: "When he was in first grade, six years old, he was reading at an eighth-grade level and his comprehension was at a sixth-grade level" (00:00).
• Musical Giftedness: "By the time he was 10 years old, he could play the majority of Green Day's library on guitar" (06:34).
• Technological Savvy: At age 10, Jacob was programming complex systems, such as coding his Minecraft server: "He was coding in a very complex back-end programming language called Java" (07:02).

Jacob's talents extended beyond academics and music; he was also known for his kindness and emotional sensitivity.

• Highly Sensitive Person (HSP): "He was HSP and an empath... he could feel emotions with the same intensity as his own" (28:40).

Onset of Addiction and Erik's Response

Jacob's struggle with substances began in his early teens, coinciding with his rise in the music industry.

• First Encounter with Drugs: "The first time we discovered that he was experimenting with drugs was he was in the bathroom upstairs smoking weed" (09:51).
• Substance Use Escalation: By age 16, Jacob was accessing illicit drugs through the dark web, using methods that bypassed parental oversight: "He had figured out how to order illicit drugs on the dark web using a ghost operating system" (12:04).

Erik and his wife approached Jacob's drug use with understanding rather than immediate panic.

• Open Dialogue: "We sat down and talked to him about it. We didn't make a big deal out of it" (10:35).
• Supportive Intervention: Upon discovering more serious substance use, Erik took decisive action: "We put him in an outpatient program... He was clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety" (14:49).

Struggles with Treatment Programs

Despite their efforts, Jacob's battle with addiction was fraught with challenges.

• Inpatient Program: Jacob attended a 74-day inpatient program but struggled with peer influences and relapses: "He gets terrified because he knows I'm pissed... He was intoxicated at the album release party" (15:09; 31:06).
• Medication Issues: Erik recounts a pivotal moment when Jacob expressed that his prescribed medications were worsening his mental health:

  "He said, 'I've got worse insomnia. I've got suicidal thoughts. It's making me more anxious than ever.'" (20:40)
  Erik's response was both protective and empowering:
  "We're going to find something else or someone else. We're going to keep going on this journey until we can get you the help that you need." (22:24).

Jacob's Rise in Music and Final Decline

As Jacob's music career soared, so did the pressures and temptations associated with fame.

• Music Career Explosion: "He was the rising star... Even big artists today like Drake and others are using that same style" (27:23).
• Final Days: Despite apparent improvements and joyful moments, Jacob continued to struggle, leading to his tragic death at 18 from fentanyl:

  "He was in a coma, not responsive... He was in the ICU for two weeks" (33:17; 37:16).

Erik's Grief and Transformation into Advocacy

Jacob's death was a turning point for Erik and his family, propelling them into activism and helping others facing similar tragedies.

• Spiritual Reflections: Erik shares a profound spiritual experience that helped him cope:

  "I was able to surrender the outcome... whatever happened was going to be for the best" (37:16).

• Purpose Driven by Loss:

  "This was my purpose now. It's my purpose to be partnered with you in this work" (18:25).

Helping Others and Legacy

Erik and his wife Judy have dedicated themselves to supporting others grappling with grief and addiction.

• Publication of "Beautiful Tragedy": Judy’s book offers grief counseling tools and includes her contact information to assist those in need:

  "You have to do that like yesterday... take decisive action now" (39:49; 40:12).

• Immediate Support: The couple provides real-time assistance, embodying their commitment to aiding others:

  "We got a call from a kid in the UK... we stayed on the phone with him until paramedics showed up" (38:54; 39:22).

Conclusion

Erik Thureson's heartfelt narrative underscores the urgent need to address the fentanyl crisis and support families affected by addiction. His journey from profound grief to purposeful advocacy serves as both a testament and a call to action for listeners to cherish time, seek help, and support one another through unimaginable loss.

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Notable Quotes

• Erik Thureson on Love and Time:

  "Time is our most valuable commodity that is not renewable." (00:00)

• Erik on Surrendering to Peace:

  "I was able to surrender the outcome... whatever happened was going to be for the best." (37:16)

• Host's Reflection on Taking Action:

  "Don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today." (41:53)

Resources Mentioned

• Book: Beautiful Tragedy by Judy Thurston – Available on Amazon.
• Contact: Erik and Judy are available on various social media platforms:
  • Instagram & Twitter: @ericthurson
  • Facebook: Erik Thurston
    Note: Ensure the correct spelling with a "K" in Erik.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a poignant reminder of the devastating impact of drug addiction and the importance of timely intervention and support. Erik and Judy Thureson's openness and dedication provide invaluable insights and encouragement for those navigating similar paths of grief and healing.

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For more episodes addressing addiction, substance use disorders, and mental health, subscribe to We're Out of Time on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

Transcript

[Eric Thurston]

In the soundcloud scene, he was the rising star. He really pioneered this certain sound and this certain style. Even big artists today like Drake and others that are using that same style. When he was in first grade, six years old, he was reading at an eighth grade level and his comprehension was at a sixth grade level. We put him in a music school and by the time he was 10 years old, he could play the majority of Green Day's library on guitar. I'm grateful to be able to share his story. He taught me, like you said, what love was. Time is our most valuable commodity that is not renewable.

[Host]

Cuz when you get to there and then it's still here. Now I'm here all night, folks.

[Podcast Announcer]

We're out of Time has reached number three on the Apple podcast mental health chart. Thank you for listening, supporting and sharing this journey with us. Please follow the podcast rate and review and if you're getting value out of we're out of Time, share it with someone else. You know.

[Host]

Eric Thurston, thanks for coming.

[Eric Thurston]

Thanks for having me. It's an honor and a privilege to be here. Thank you.

[Host]

The pleasure is all ours. It's horrible circumstances. You lost your son to fentanyl. He went by the name of Hella Sketchy. So he was big in the underground rap scene and he was your boy.

[Eric Thurston]

Yep.

[Host]

A lot of people don't understand if they don't have children, that you don't know what love is until you have a child. You think you do, but you don't. And so how. How old was he when he passed?

[Eric Thurston]

He was 18.

[Host]

He's 18 years old.

[Eric Thurston]

Yep.

[Host]

So what the listeners don't may not understand is if they don't have children is you got 18 years into this kid.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

And if you're anything like me, I love my kids more every day. So my kids aren't 18 yet. So you loved your kids More than I even love my kids. You had. I mean, do you remember. Shh, shh, shh, shh.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

Right.

[Eric Thurston]

Three hours. Yeah.

[Host]

Right. And your arms ached.

[Eric Thurston]

Right?

[Host]

Right. And then you just slowly, as slow as you could, put him down in his crib. Right. Praying to God he didn't wake up in the second. You had a handle on that. Everything changed. And you had to get used to the next phase, Right?

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

And it was the hardest thing you ever did.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

But it's the best thing you ever did. By miles, right?

[Eric Thurston]

Oh, 100%. Yeah.

[Host]

What I want to know about is so. I'm sorry, man. This is the most horrible thing it's why I came back to work. Okay. And it's why we do this podcast because I don't ever want anybody to go through the pain. Yeah, you went through. But what I want to do is I want to talk about your son and I want you to tell me who he was. Not as a rapper or any of that nonsense. I want to know who your boy was.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah, it's. It is, it is difficult. But I'm grateful. I'm grateful to be able to share his story. I'm grateful to talk about him. He taught me, like you said, what love was. When he was first born. I thought I knew what love was like you mentioned. And when the nurse handed him to me for the first time, I just wept and I understood. A little bit of a glimpse of the miraculous gift that he was that had transpired. And he continued to teach me what love was throughout his entire life. When he was in first grade, six years old, we, two weeks into school, we got the phone call from the school parent teacher conference. We're like, oh, here we. I mean, he's in first grade. We're like, oh, here we go. And they brought us in. The principal was there, which I thought was odd because it's usually just with the teacher.

[Host]

Right.

[Eric Thurston]

And they said, well, we've run some tests. Like tests. We've been in school for two weeks, it's first grade. What do you mean tests? He was reading in an eighth grade level.

[Host]

Really?

[Eric Thurston]

At six years old.

[Host]

Wow.

[Eric Thurston]

And his comprehension was at a sixth grade level. And they said he's done with the work for the school day in 10 or 15 minutes and it's going to become a problem behaviorally because he's going to get bored very quickly. And they didn't have any gifted programs or anything at that time.

[Host]

What did you do with them?

[Eric Thurston]

Well, we gave him other things to do.

[Host]

Can I, can I ask.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

Son's real name, please?

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah, Jacob.

[Host]

His.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

I'm not calling him hella sketchy.

[Eric Thurston]

Right? Yeah, yeah. His name was Jacob Tyler Thurston and we gave him different, different extracurricular programs and after school programs and work that to stimulate his brain and if it was Kumon or. I don't even remember all of them, but so we finished out that year and then the following year we homeschooled because we found that there's other programs that we can do during the day that were more what he was interested in, one of which was music. And we put him in a music school which was 12 week program. They Would learn a bunch of different music. And so he started playing guitar at age six and by the time he was 10 years old, he could play the majority of Green Day's library on guitar.

[Host]

Really?

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

At 10.

[Eric Thurston]

At 10.

[Host]

Wow.

[Eric Thurston]

And by the time he was 10, 11, because they would do showcases every 12 weeks around town and he had played all the cool bit like the Roxy, the Whiskey, the mint. At 10, the kid played. Yeah, all these c. Yeah.

[Host]

At 10. And the mint on Pico.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

I haven't been there is. They still have that thing. That's cool.

[Eric Thurston]

And he, he just had this amazing. He was extremely gifted with intelligence and figuring things out. I was working at Fox Sports at the time and I came home early and I, he didn't know I had come home and I was standing behind him and he's on the computer coding in the command line. No graphic user interface or just straight code. So I stood there for 5, 10 minutes watching him and I realized he's coding in a very complex back backend programming language called Java. And I, and I said, how did you learn how to do that? And he's startled because he didn't know I was standing there and he's. I just figured it out. And I went online and I said, well, what exactly are you doing? He says, well, I'm making it rain. So he's coding his Minecraft server on making it brain, which I thought was really. And at that moment I had no, I had no worry that whatever he set his mind to that he was going to be successful at.

[Host]

Tell me about. And how old is he now? He's 10.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah, he was 10 at that time.

[Host]

Get me to 12.

[Eric Thurston]

We lived right across the street for a period of time from Pedlo Skate park. And he would skate. He.

[Host]

So he's a cool genius.

[Eric Thurston]

He. Yeah, he was a cool. He was a cool genius. He, he would do amazing trick shots on video games and post them on YouTube. And I think that's where the, his, his stage name came from. He, his video game handle was hella sketchy and I think he might have heard me say that when we were playing Call of Duty at some point and, and then that just stuck as he was making these beats like these other artists, as he was creating these, these videos and whatnot and just having the best life and doing well, went to church. He just. And he was super compliant. He was always very kind, very considerate of others and just the most loving kid you could imagine. Didn't get in, in altercations with the.

[Host]

When did he start doing drugs? Well, when did he. Did he do drugs first or did he blow up in the music scene first?

[Eric Thurston]

I think it was pretty close to the same time.

[Host]

Okay.

[Eric Thurston]

The first time we discovered that he was experimenting with drugs was he was in the bathroom upstairs smoking weed.

[Host]

How old was he?

[Eric Thurston]

He was 14.

[Host]

Okay.

[Eric Thurston]

13 or 14.

[Host]

Okay.

[Eric Thurston]

This is the first time that we discovered it.

[Host]

That's right.

[Eric Thurston]

And he was blowing the smoke.

[Host]

Hold on. But hold on a second. You're playing. You're the type of father who's spending all your time with the kid, with your. With your. With Jacob. You're playing video games with him. You'll know whether or not he's been using. So you guys caught that real fast.

[Eric Thurston]

Sure.

[Host]

Okay, go on.

[Eric Thurston]

And he's blowing smoke out the window, not realizing that smoke's also coming out from under the door.

[Host]

Right.

[Eric Thurston]

And we knew what pot was. We knew what this. We're like, oh. We're like, like, what's going on? We were in Texas, and there are skunks and whatnot out there. But it was weird. So we knock on the door, hey, what's going on in there? He starts panicking and whatnot. And we just sat down and talked to him about it. We didn't make a big deal out of it.

[Host]

We.

[Eric Thurston]

We weren't freaking out. And we're like, look, we understand. We. We've gone through that dude. And if there's something that you're curious about, let's have a talk about. We had a very open dialogue.

[Host]

Do you know what year this was in 14.

[Eric Thurston]

This would have been 14. This would have been 2015. Happened a couple times. And then it seemed like that he had experienced it. It wasn't for him, and he was. He had moved on. The next discovery that we had, and this is. This is right around the point where he's blowing up. He's blowing up on SoundCloud. We have no idea. Until the. He had a song with Tay K that required a contract, and at 15, he can't sign the contract.

[Host]

You didn't realize it until the kid walked in with a wad like this. A hundreds. Right, Right. They were like, where'd you get the money?

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah, right.

[Host]

Drug dealing's bad.

[Eric Thurston]

And at 15, he was making more money than we were for sure. Selling music.

[Host]

Right.

[Eric Thurston]

And. And it was. It was remarkable. And we always gave him all the resources that he needed for anything, whether it was his computer or phone or instruments, whatever it was. Sure. And one day he was at some event with Some other kids, and we went to pick them up. And as he gets in the car, it. It was as if he was drunk. He was kind of dopey, and. And he bumps his head on the top of the car getting in. He was 16, okay. Yeah. And we're like, are you okay? And he was just not. We could tell something was up. We just didn't. Didn't know his sisters were in the car. So we didn't make a big deal out of it in the car. Wait till we got home. And that's when we found out that he had figured out how to order illicit drugs on the dark web using a ghost operating system. And he would get it delivered in other packages directly to the house. Like, they would put it in a box of his favorite candy or whatever. There were some things that he. He. We couldn't get in Texas that he really liked from California.

[Host]

Okay.

[Eric Thurston]

And some, like, Pop Chips was one of them. And he would get things delivered inside these packages. Now, we had no reason to not to trust him, so we're not going through all the packages to see what's in it. We. We open the box, and it's a box of pop Chips. And we're like, oh, okay. Have at it. And that evening, my wife goes upstairs and looks in his room, specifically in his backpack, and finds a whole bunch of Xanax and Molly and some other pills, which we didn't know at the time what it was.

[Host]

And the kid's 16?

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah, he's. He's 16. He runs out the door. I chase him down the street, and now he's terrified because he knows I'm pissed, and he's never seen me that angry before.

[Host]

Right.

[Eric Thurston]

And. And, yeah, I was angry, but I was concerned at the same time.

[Host]

Probably were angry because you were concerned.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah. And got him back in the house. And then that's when the program started. Inpatient program. Well, outpatient program.

[Host]

You were sending them to all these teen centers.

[Eric Thurston]

So we did counseling. We did psychiatry. We. He was clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and. And then. So he was medicated for that.

[Host]

He.

[Eric Thurston]

He was in an outpatient program, which was three days a week. We would go and we would participate with the second half of that.

[Host]

He go into a rehab.

[Eric Thurston]

He did go into a rehab, which was an inpatient program. He was about to graduate the outpatient program the final week. And matter of fact, we were at the final day and the day before, he gets some LSD or something from one of the kids in the program and then has this episode. And it was really scary. The cops showed up to the house. It's three o'clock in the morning. They wrestle him to the floor so that they can sedate him. His heart rate was north of 185 beats per minute. And we weren't sure if he was going to make it, so they rushed him to the hospital. And this is the second time in the error. And my wife and I, we just, like, we don't know. We're out of options. We're going to do an inpatient program. And he was not happy about that at all because his music career's starting to take off. And now we're putting him in this program where he's essentially going to not have access to anything for who knows how long. 90 days. Initially. Ended up being 74. And he. His part of his frustration, too, was being in there. There were a lot of. Every other kid that was in there was in there because they were in trouble with the law. It was either that or they're going to prison.

[Host]

Right.

[Eric Thurston]

Or they're going to Jubie.

[Host]

You typically don't want to put your kid there. And.

[Eric Thurston]

And he. And he didn't have desktop.

[Host]

Can I stop you for a second? Here's the thing, okay. I'm not a big shot. Anytime you guys have a question about you or a loved one or somebody using drugs and alcohol, DM me. DM me. Okay? Because here's a perfect example. You did the best you could, but you're not in this industry.

[Eric Thurston]

Right.

[Host]

And some people think, you know, I kind of know something in this industry. Right. So you would have called me, I would have said, okay, and I would have found you the right place.

[Eric Thurston]

Right.

[Host]

Right. So that he wasn't with people who were not like minded.

[Eric Thurston]

Right?

[Host]

Right. Your kid is there because he loves his father and he knows he's got to go and get. Get. Right. And he's there with a bunch of guys that are just doing time until they can go out and get loaded.

[Eric Thurston]

Right.

[Host]

Okay. And that's not the place. So just, just DM me. I get back to everybody. You guys are exhausting me. Okay. We just found out that we are the number three rated mental health podcast in the world, according to Apple.

[Eric Thurston]

That's awesome.

[Host]

In that. Sick.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

We've been doing this for seven months.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah. And it shows you how. How needed this work is. And I'm extremely grateful that you're doing it. It's. It's a. It's my purpose now. Yes. It's my purpose to. To Be partnered with you in this work.

[Host]

Good. I need all the. I need all the help I can get. Yeah. And it's because I don't ever want to feel like you felt.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

Or like my buddy Matt Capilouto felt. Hmm. You know Matt, he was on for Fentanyl awareness day. He was on. On the 28th or 29th.

[Eric Thurston]

Wow.

[Host]

That's when we. And. And Nathan Hockman opened the show.

[Eric Thurston]

Wow.

[Host]

Right. Who introduced me to Matt. Tell me about. We're going a little out of order.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

It's all good. So how long did he stay at the inpatient program?

[Eric Thurston]

74 days.

[Host]

Okay. He was in when he got out.

[Eric Thurston]

When he got out, he was. He was grateful to be out. He was grateful to get back to doing music. He. He seemed like, who. Like, we got the old Jacob back.

[Host]

Okay. Is he 17 at this point?

[Eric Thurston]

Let's see. Not yet.

[Host]

Okay.

[Eric Thurston]

He had gotten out. So he got out right before Thanksgiving. And then his birthday is in January, So.

[Host]

So he's 16. Moving over to 17 right now. Okay. And he's out. But now he spirals into more drug addiction. Right.

[Eric Thurston]

So it was off and on.

[Host]

Okay.

[Eric Thurston]

He found better ways to hide it and wasn't doing it in the normal hours that we would interact with him.

[Host]

So you're doing it all night. What, while you're sleeping? What is in. Sleeping weight?

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

Right.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

What was he using?

[Eric Thurston]

Xanax. He was on perks. And then there was the medically supervised stuff that he was on that he. He was frustrated with because that was making him feel worse.

[Host]

The psych meds. Right.

[Eric Thurston]

And I took him to his second appointment in that. In. In that space. And he was on 3 milligrams of Percocet, I think. And they came in and asked him how he was feeling, asked him how he's managing with the meds, and he said, well, I've got worse insomnia. I've got suicidal thoughts. It's making me more anxious than. And you're listening this, and I'm sitting right next to him.

[Host]

How are you feeling when you're hearing your son say he's got suicidal thoughts?

[Eric Thurston]

My heart just sank. And. And I'm curious at the same time, I'm curious as. As how the. And I don't want to demonize medical professionals. They do a lot of work. Good work. Yet they didn't ask him about his diet. They didn't ask him about his physical activity. They didn't. They. They heard him say that he was struggling with insomnia. But they didn't really ask any details about his sleep or rest or. Or his lifestyle.

[Host]

I know, I know, I know.

[Eric Thurston]

And they immediately said, well, perhaps we're not. The dose isn't high enough, so we're going to double it to 6 milligrams. And so for me, I. I went from, From. From curious and deeply saddened for. Because of how he was feeling to angry, livid.

[Host]

Right?

[Eric Thurston]

I was livid. And I knew if I was. If I had said anything, it wasn't going to be good, any of the words that were about to come out of my mouth, so I didn't say anything. They asked me if I had any other questions. I said no. They wrote the prescription, we walked out, and you're supposed to check in with the front desk to make another appointment, which we did not do. We kept walking. And I. It's. He's looking at me, wondering what. Why we're not doing that. And I looked at him, crumpled up the prescription, threw it in the trash as we walked out. And I said, these people don't care about you. We're going to find something else or someone else. We're going to keep going on this journey until we can get you the help that you need. And he felt relieved because the medication wasn't helping him.

[Host]

He felt relieved because he was heard by his father and seen by his father. And you did the blocking and tackling for your son. That's why.

[Eric Thurston]

That's a great way to put it.

[Host]

That's exactly how he felt, though. All right, That's a good man. All right, so go on.

[Eric Thurston]

And, And I appreciate your encouragement for people to, to reach out.

[Host]

You got to.

[Eric Thurston]

Because there's so. We, We. We did the best we could with what we knew at that time.

[Host]

I know.

[Eric Thurston]

And there's so many other options and things available to us that, that we just didn't know.

[Host]

There's so many bad places, man, and there just are. And especially in the climate today, it's even worse than it was when your kid was going. Because the climate is so tough and there are so many people going out of business that they're working on skeleton crews. I talked to somebody yesterday. They're telling me that they're struggling and what their overhead is. And I'm like, that's all your overhead is. And so I know immediately, no nurses, no staff, flop house. It's like, you know what I mean? So you really. It's like, it's not when a parent or a husband or a wife or whatever is going through Something this traumatic. Right. Where the, where their. Everything is on drugs.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

So it's just important. It's important to make certain that. That you find the right fit.

[Eric Thurston]

Right.

[Host]

To the best of your ability. And, you know, you guys don't know because that's not what you do. You worked at Fox Sports. Would you do it?

[Eric Thurston]

Fox Sports was application. Senior application developer and product developer.

[Host]

See, I couldn't have done that.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

I don't even know what the hell that means.

[Eric Thurston]

Never played fantasy football.

[Host]

No.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah, that was one of the projects that we worked on.

[Host]

Really?

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host]

You. You.

[Eric Thurston]

You developed fantasy football for, for the Fox Sports platform.

[Host]

Really?

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host]

Okay.

[Eric Thurston]

And then worked on the NFL products as well. That's where I went after Fox Sports.

[Host]

That's cool.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

I want to get back to. I want to get back to. He's now 17. He just turned 17. You said he passed at 18. Actually, he was murdered at 18, but we'll get to that. Okay. How I want. I want the progression from 17 to when he passed.

[Eric Thurston]

So at that. So at that time, we were in Austin, Texas. So I think that might be important part of the story, because at 13 years old, we uproot him from all of his. What he's familiar with here in Los Angeles, and we move to Austin in.

[Host]

Right. At 13.

[Eric Thurston]

At 13.

[Host]

Okay. That's tough.

[Eric Thurston]

So there's a change of environment. There's. He's not close to the same friends. He's got to build new friends, et cetera. By time, 17 hits, we move to Arizona.

[Host]

Ah, so you uprooted him twice.

[Eric Thurston]

And at that point, he, his music career is. Once he got out of the inpatient program, he got back to work and blew up. He was like in the SoundCloud scene. He. He was, he was the rising star.

[Host]

And that's what Dylan was telling me. Dylan was telling me he was everything.

[Eric Thurston]

There's. There's some types of beats that he created. He. He's been. Has been named like Happy Trap or this really wavy trap music that he kind of came out of, but he really pioneered this certain sound in this certain style. And even big artists today that I'm sure you've heard of, like Drake and, and others that are using that same. That, that same style.

[Host]

Wow.

[Eric Thurston]

And even the record label execs were. They were looking at him, and when he was in the recording studio, they, they, they were. They would give him free time when people canceled because he lived at half a mile from the, from the recording studio off of Fairfax and La Brea. And if someone canceled or if there are big gaps, he had a free pass to come in because the way that he worked with people and he.

[Host]

Was professional, he'd walk in, do his.

[Eric Thurston]

Stuff and he was kind to people.

[Host]

Right?

[Eric Thurston]

He was kind, he was joyful. Like he cared about other people. He was HSP and an empath. HSP is a psychological term for highly sensitive person, meaning if you felt something, if you were angry or if you were sad or if you were joyful, he would. Could feel that with the same degrees of distinction as if it was his own feelings.

[Host]

I know.

[Eric Thurston]

And didn't. Didn't know how to separate that.

[Host]

We know what I've got now. Gone. Oh, said the guy with the third rated mental health podcast.

[Eric Thurston]

And really do.

[Host]

Some more analysis on myself. Gone.

[Eric Thurston]

At this point. 17, he. He gets signed with Atlantic Records. It's a pretty nice record deal. He moves to LA so that he could be close to the recording studio and then with the other artists that are coming in. And he's working with.

[Host]

Sure.

[Eric Thurston]

And his.

[Host]

And where are you at this time?

[Eric Thurston]

And I'm. We're in Phoenix.

[Host]

Okay.

[Eric Thurston]

And his uncle is staying with him probably four or five out of seven days of the week.

[Host]

Okay, cool.

[Eric Thurston]

So there's some.

[Host]

Your brother.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah. And he was also his manager as well.

[Host]

Okay, good.

[Eric Thurston]

And so he had some supervision. So we're like, okay, he's about to turn 18, he's an adult, he's going to do what he's going to do. He's got some supervision in place. We felt great about it. And, and at that point it seemed like he had a handle on sobriety, releases the first album and gets kind of caught up in the excitement of the first album coming out and is intoxicated on what, I don't know. But it was pretty clear he was intoxicated at the album release party, which we just drove past the place on Fairfax as we were coming here. And so we were asking the questions and leaning in and.

[Host]

Asking the questions. What are you on?

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah, is this a problem? Are you it. What's, what's happening? And he assured us that it wasn't a problem. Well, and. And then was going to some programs while he was here with his, with.

[Host]

His uncle, some outpatient programs.

[Eric Thurston]

It was like 12 step program.

[Host]

Okay.

[Eric Thurston]

So it seems like he's trying to get a handle on it. And there was a period of time where it seemed like he was doing really well. He got a girlfriend shortly after the album release and he's doing lives walking the dog. Outside getting exercise and getting out in the sun and not sitting in, holed up in the room somewhere all day. And it seemed like he was doing well. And we had come out and this was June, the first week of June. I was here for a film conference. And then we spent the next few days just hanging out with him and his girlfriend and had probably the best weekend that we had ever had. He was present. He was in initiating, and we went go karting, we went to Peaches Tacos. We did all the things and just had a great time. And we were feeling like, okay, he's got a handle on this. This is great. Only to fast forward a week later, we get the call that he's been admitted to the hospital. And, well, he had been in the ER before a number of times, so we're like, not sure. Is this one of those times? Is. Is it? We just went too hard and. And the doctor said, you should probably come. But they weren't giving us any information beyond that.

[Host]

Right.

[Eric Thurston]

And we show up and this is a Thursday, and he's in a coma, not responsive there. He's in this hypothermic treatment which they drop the body temperature down to like 94, 93, which increases their chance of recovery by like 30% for any cardiac arrest. And it was bad. It was. It was really bad. And. And I was angry. I was devastated. And. And I was wrestling with God. So the next morning, which was Friday, I prayed this very simple prayer. I said, God, you know what I want? I want this young man to walk out of here. I said, however, if it is going to be for the greater good that you take him now, then so be it. But I was still holding on like I was not. I wanted what I wanted. And then different things unfolded that day. And then the next day, which was Saturday, I prayed the same thing. Very simple. God, do you know what I want? But if it's for the greater good that. That you take him now, then so be it. The next day, which was Sunday, was Father's Day of all days, and I prayed the same thing. And that day was different, because when I got up in that moment, there was this peace that came over me. And I was able to surrender the outcome. And I realized that whatever occurred, I didn't have control over, and the doctors didn't have control over it. And what was going to happen was going to happen. And I had the peace that knowing whatever happened was going to be for the best. And. And then the Spirit gave me this phrase in. At the end of it all because he was in the ICU for two weeks in a coma the whole time, unresponsive, according to medical staff. I believe that he could hear us. I believe that there was some interaction on a spirit level. I don't know how to explain it, and words are insufficient to describe what had unfolded, but the phrase was this was steward your suffering. Well, and I've come to define that as to lean back into the pain and the suffering of that story over and over and over and do things like this because perhaps in doing so that it might save some, it might serve some.

[Host]

That is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. Thank you. All right, let's move on, shall we?

[Eric Thurston]

Yep.

[Host]

Yeah. All right.

[Eric Thurston]

My brain just went blank. It's a lot of it for me, has been supporting people online and from behind the scenes, sharing and being available. And we. My wife shared Jake or her phone number during Jacob's memorial, and she wrote a book called Beautiful Tragedy and unpacked some of the things that. That in the. She's a grief counselor, so there's grief tools that. That. And she put her phone number in the book as well. So we've get. We get calls from everywhere and, and we make ourselves available, much like what you're doing. And the. The calls that we've fielded from all over have been talking people into getting sober. There was one kid from the UK where he had taken a bunch of pills and was trying to end his life and then was afraid to talk to his dad. Now this is 4 o' clock in the morning and. And he called you and he called my wife because her phone number was.

[Host]

Available and she left him and he was fine.

[Eric Thurston]

We stayed on the phone with him until the. The paramedics showed up and he communicated with his dad. We're like, look, don't be afraid. Your dad is going to probably be upset because you're hurting. It's not about what you're doing. And.

[Host]

That'S beautifully said, by the way.

[Eric Thurston]

The doubt. One story of many people getting sober. People choosing not to end their life and that that work is continue. It continues to unfold. Encouragement for.

[Host]

Where can I buy the book?

[Eric Thurston]

I'll. I'll. I'll gift you the book.

[Host]

Excellent.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

Where can they buy the book?

[Eric Thurston]

It's available on Amazon.

[Host]

What's it called?

[Eric Thurston]

The Beautiful Tragedy.

[Host]

And what's your wife's full name?

[Eric Thurston]

Judy Thurston. And there's a lot of great tools in it that she used and she unfolds it in real time of. Hey, this is how she navigated being in this situation and then is able to thrive afterwards.

[Host]

Every parent of a child right now should read that book. Every single parent of a child that is 10 years old plus, should read that book.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

You guys are really close.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

You loved your son.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

You got any other kids?

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah, we have two daughters, Emma and Sydney. How was 23? And Sydney's 18.

[Host]

How. How are they doing with this?

[Eric Thurston]

They're doing pretty well, actually. I think Sydney being 13, 12 or 13 at the time, I was really surprised at how well she handled it and continues to handle it. Emma only being 16 months apart from him. They were really close, and she had a harder time. She doesn't like talking about it.

[Host]

Do they have therapists?

[Eric Thurston]

We went through therapy.

[Host]

Do they have therapists currently?

[Eric Thurston]

That's a good question. Sydney doesn't. I'm not sure if Emma does. Emma lives out here.

[Host]

Listen, listen. That's something that needs to be done, like, now, like yesterday. Okay. You have to do that.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah. Well, we'll do it right now.

[Host]

Damn straight.

[Eric Thurston]

We don't waste time.

[Host]

No. Don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today, people.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah. See this decisive action right now, right here.

[Host]

Let's get back to now. Everything is now. Back to now.

[Eric Thurston]

Yep.

[Host]

Or we can just make an appointment for a zoom at the end of May.

[Eric Thurston]

All right.

[Host]

Everybody wants to make an appointment now. Nobody wants to work, but everyone wants to make an appointment to discuss it and then not do shit about it.

[Eric Thurston]

Right. And that's probably one of the biggest things that I've learned in the last five years. When Jacob passed, one of the things I realized was, is the most valuable thing that we have is now time. Time is our most valuable commodity that is not renewable.

[Host]

Because when you get to there and then, it's still here and now.

[Eric Thurston]

Right.

[Host]

I like that. I'm here all night, folks.

[Eric Thurston]

It. And making decisive. Taking decisive action is. Is gonna maximize the impact of the time that we have.

[Host]

You got it, man. There's. There's. There's. You can't have that type of traumatic event in the family system and not have the girls screwed up by it.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

And you've lost one kid.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

So let's get on this.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

Okay.

[Eric Thurston]

I found the ability to sit in sadness and joy simultaneously in the same space and in gratitude. And it came when we were. We were filming at Jacob's burial site. And I can't go there and not just be an absolute mess.

[Host]

Right.

[Eric Thurston]

Because it's the exclamation point on what happened?

[Host]

Right.

[Eric Thurston]

And the Grayson, my BTS producer, was interviewing me. It was not scripted. It wasn't part of what we were doing for. For the film. He just turned the camera on me and asked a couple of questions in that moment. And through. Through tears, I was expressing my gratitude. And how could I be grateful for my son being dead? Because that's the worst nightmare I could possibly imagine. Yet in that moment, I. I felt an immense sense of gratitude for the time that I had with him, the things that he had shared with me and taught me and even in his death taught me the importance of right now, the importance of each moment that we have and what we're doing with that. What kind of difference are we making with. With right now? And I don't know if I would if. If this doesn't happen, I don't step into creating Cupid Soldiers films, Cupid Soldiers records, Cupid Soldiers Animation with his legacy. I don't step into those things. I don't step into the purpose of being an advocate for mental. I may be sitting in the comfy broadcast engineering job with my comfy benefits and not making a difference and just not really living. I mean, I'm breathing and I'm above ground, but not making the difference.

[Host]

Yeah, you're. You're. You're a unicorn, man. Nobody feels that way when they lose a kid. Yeah, I can barely. I can't even discuss it.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

All right, enough. How can people find you?

[Eric Thurston]

I'm on Instagram, Twitter, eric@ericthurson, Facebook, spell eric Thurston. E R I K T H U R E S O N.

[Host]

You know what, that's just. I'm sorry, I got to do a rant. Okay. I'm so lucky that I said spell out your full name cuz everyone thinks it's a C and not a K.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah, I recently heard C is for clowns and K is for king, so.

[Host]

Okay, well. Well, I'm gonna have to tell all my friends, Mark that. Yeah, okay. Another name that freaks me out, Mark. Is it a K or is it a C?

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah, stop it.

[Host]

So bad.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

All right.

[Eric Thurston]

Yeah.

[Host]

All right.

[Eric Thurston]

See you next Tuesday. If you or a loved one is struggling, we have a number that you can call and we'll help you find the best treatment that is right for you. Our company One Call placement is dedicated to helping you and we'll find the best treatment that is right for you. So call now at 888-80-86159. Again, that's 888-80-86159 we're out of time.

[Podcast Announcer]

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