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A
That's why I blew up at the time, because of the music. It was going crazy. They like to see the rowdiness, the flashiness. All of my cousins was in the streets. But, you know, my grandmother didn't want that for me, so my mom had me at 15. So young.
B
Your grandparents proud of you?
A
My grandmother was who raised me. She let me drop out when I was 16 and bought me a studio. She believed in me since the beginning. My grandfather invested everything that I needed at the time, and I still chose the streets. Just becoming hard to kick the cup.
B
How long have you been doing it, heavy?
A
Since about 2022.
B
You want to stop doing. You want to go into treatment today?
A
Please don't do drugs, kids. I'm telling you because of experience. What I've been through and what I've seen, it can be less than a year, and somebody can be completely gone, never come back.
C
Thank you for listening to the we're out of Time podcast with Richard Tate. If you haven't already, please follow the podcast rate and review. And if you're getting value out of we're out of Time, share it with someone else.
B
You know Zan, man, That's me. We have been trying to get you on for a while, okay? You're on our wish list, Okay? I thought you were Little Xan. I thought Little Xan was Zan, man. But it doesn't matter anymore because I've got both the Xands. And if there's another Xandylan, I want that Zan, too. Okay? I want all the Zans. All the Zans. So, man, tell me about your upbringing. Tell me where it all started. Tell the viewers the story.
A
It all started. You know what I'm saying? I'm from Maryland, Prince George's County, Maryland. And I'm from a hood around here. It's called Bricey Road. It's in a city called Landover. So my upbringing, you know, I seen a lot. You know, my. My grandfather was in the streets, my cousins. All of my cousins was in the streets. But, you know, my grandmother didn't want that for me, so she's kind of shifting me away. My mom had me at 15 or 15 or 16, so she is so young. She was so young. And, you know, my grandmother took legal guardianship over me, so I was with her, and her. And my grandfather raised me.
B
Where was your mother?
A
You know, she was young, so she was around. You know what I'm saying? Like, she. I say for her being the age that she was, she definitely was trying.
B
But wait, hold on a second. Of course, because you're a baby at 15. But why wasn't she living at home with her parents and you?
A
Maybe due to, like, being rebellious. She was with me for a while, but, you know, she wanted to be outside, you know, do her thing. She is enjoying her teenage years.
B
Are you. Are you close with your mom now?
A
Yeah, I got a relationship with my mom. I do.
B
Where does she live?
A
She in Maryland.
B
She proud of you.
A
She proud of me? Yeah.
B
Your grand stooge made me start crying. Fuck. Your grandparents proud of you?
A
They are. My. My grandmother was, you know, who raised me. She let me drop out when I was 16 actually, and bought me a studio for me to, you know, I'm saying to do this because, you know, she believed in me since the beginning. My grandfather invested everything that I needed at the time, and. And I was. And I still chose the streets, you know, because what I was surrounded by from my friends and things that I was doing, I was kind of always the leader, you know what I'm saying? So, you know, come with stuff like that. But, yeah, my grandparents, very proud of me.
B
Are they still alive? Not.
A
My grandfather who passed away in. He was, what, 56. He passed away in 2020. Leukemia. Hair cell. Leukemia came back for him after being in remission for about, like, eight to 10 years. He is on life support at first, and it went away. They came back, hit him like a rock. It only took him about, like a month and a half or two to take him out.
B
I'm sorry.
A
Yeah.
B
And how old are you?
A
24.
B
So this was four or five years ago.
A
Yeah.
B
And you were 19. This must have just destroyed you.
A
It did. Like, that was my dad, you know what I'm saying? Like, that's. I don't want to get emotional and all, but, you know, that's okay, man.
B
We're doing a little therapy.
A
Yeah.
B
And therapy done, right? Yeah. But that was messy.
A
Yeah. And that was my dad. He taught me how to move, you know, from what he was doing even from back then, you know, how to be sharp, be on point to watch out for certain signs because he was actively in the street. So he was just telling me on what to look out for and never answer the door for any of my friends, any of his friends, no matter who it is, you know, make sure that, you know, coast is clear, looking out for these type of people, and even told me how to use my first firearm as such a young age, you know what I'm saying? But it was. I took it and ran with it because it is in a more educational use, you know what I'm saying? Like, hey, let's go hunting in the backyard. Let's go to this place 30 minutes away and go hunting. Shooting. No, at our Shirley house. So she lived. She had her own farm in Virginia.
B
Shout out to Aunt Shirley.
A
Yeah, so she had her own farm in Virginia. And we used to go up there, shoot all of that, me and my cousins, you know.
B
Where's your dad?
A
My dad in prison. He actually. Within the same year my grandfather passed away in. In May of 2020. No, in March of 2020, right before and right after his birthday. This was.
B
That's when he went to jail.
A
No, that was. That's my grandfather. So my dad, he'd been locked up in and out all of my life. So he in one of the worst prisons in the world. He in Florence, Colorado. So it was about. If you don't know about Florence, you know, it's only about like, three to 400 inmates. He told me that you have to have at least three to six months of consecutive good behavior to get a phone call, you know. So it's been that I seen with my dad, you know what I'm saying? It really made me take a turn for. I say the worst, you know what I'm saying? It made me violent. Like, he made me violent, but with the drug thing, that was always kind of going on.
B
Well, let me ask you a question about the violence, okay? Because I just want to be clear. He taught you to be violent? Did he teach you to be violent or did he teach you how to survive the community?
A
Nah, straight up how to be violent. Like, me and my cousin.
B
Sorry, bro. I'm sorry.
A
Like, like, he's like. Even my uncle, you know what I'm saying? Like, Craig, he rest in peace. His soul as well, you know, we used to do in, like, the neighborhood, do things in the neighborhood. Like, he, like, man, go rob him with a hammer, like, and walk up behind a random civilian, put it on their neck. He's like, they ain't gonna know the difference because it's cold still. You know, they don't know if it's a gun or what, you know, And I was doing that young age. I'm talking about like, maybe 12, 13, you know, so, I mean, I always been smart, though. I always been like. How can I say it is like, well spoken.
B
Okay, so you're smart. Have you ever gone to jail?
A
Yeah, okay, yeah, that sounds smart. But it wasn't. It was because of my anger I always had like a short fuse.
B
But, bro, you don't have. You don't display any of that. You're like gentle and kind and I don't see it.
A
I mean, that's because you know how I was taught, you know, you don't. You don't have to go acting like you the big bad wolf in every room. You know what I'm saying? When people. When people see if wolf it get to that, they find out, you know. But I don't gotta act like that I'm that or what I've been through, because I don't want that for me. I don't want that for my kids.
B
You got kids?
A
Yeah, I do.
B
How many.
A
Did I know?
B
Dude, are you doing the math in your head?
A
We was going to say two.
B
You're just going to say two?
A
We're going to say two. Just two.
B
All right, well, you just told me you're violent, so I'm going to let you keep it.
A
But yeah, I have two. I have two, though.
B
Hide the hammer.
A
Nah, for real, though. It was just like. Just about, you know, being stuck in the past and. But I never want that for me. And my grandfather didn't want that for me neither. We actually got locked up together because he was on parole probation at the time. And when they broke in the house looking for me, one of my friends told on me. I didn't even have an idea at the time, so it had to be from the mouth. And I live over 100 miles away from the location it happened at, so it was attempted murder in so many words, but it being my first.
B
He deserved it though, right?
A
Nah, they didn't.
B
That's not funny.
A
It was. When I tell you something so dumb.
B
No, that was beautiful, what you did. So tell me you just made something beautiful. You said no, they didn't deserve it.
A
Yes, they did.
B
So what was it? You were. You were.
A
All right, tell me the story. I'm with my.
B
Wait, hold on a second. You've already done the time for it, right?
A
Yeah.
B
Okay, now you can tell me.
A
I got off. I got off 20, 23. July is when I got off parole. Probation, only about, like I said, on dead time for I think like six to eight months. I did all right. You know, it wasn't because my grandfather already told me the do's and don'ts. I had a fight like a couple times. Probably like two. Once was over a noodle packet. Which is insane. Right?
B
Right.
A
You know, because, you know, when everybody get their bags of commentary, they hook up you know, that's what we used to call it. Or like remixing the soups in so many words. When they put the chips, the cheese on top, sausages, chop it up, tuna, and just have a big feast, you know, for everybody who pitched in. Maybe somebody upstairs got the onions. Somebody from the kitchen got the barbecue sauce. So everybod, you know, and they portion it out based on what you put in. So if you put in the noodles, you won't get a lot put in the. The meats, you know what I'm saying? From the sausages or whatever, you gonna get a lot. But I ain't tried to link up with nobody. But it's people from the outside that was coming in that was like, I know who this person is. This. When I was first coming up. So they was like this. You know what I'm saying? This zan I be listening to bro. Everybody love bro. And at the time, I was probably doing 10 to 20k. I was local, but it's still known. So, yeah, a lot of people realized me from back then. So that was it.
B
And because you were a rapper, you got along there because they dug what you did.
A
In a way. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like that that's why I blew up at the time, too, because of the music. The time that it was. It was going crazy. And I was not to say it, but we live in an industry where they. Where they love to see people of our color, you know, or, you know, my skin complexion or anybody else act ignorant. You know what I'm saying? That's what the music is kind of based on. But I wouldn't say that in the same sense, because they love. It's a lot of people who love all type of genres. Right. You know, but I'm just talking about hip hop. They like to see the rowdiness, the flashiness, the. You know.
B
Yeah. So let's talk about that. You doing well right now. I. I hear you're one of the biggest deals there is.
A
Well, I say this right. I got a lot of connections. All of them are from me. Is never through a third party. Is never like. Like, let's. I know somebody who knows somebody that knows Travis Scott is never. That is always. I know directly the artist. You know what I'm saying? From relationships. Either they DM me first. They show love to a picture or something. So I basically giving me signs that, hey, hey, bro, I'm watching. I'm like, hey, this a artist who I want to work with. So I'm a DM them since they show love to me first or when we meeting in person and somebody recognize me of you know who I am, we build a relationship off of that. But as far as like I'm in a Mr. Doing a Deal right now. I got a project that's about to come out, but financially I say I'm doing, I'm doing well.
B
What are you doing with your money? I don't see any ice around your neck, so that's a good sign.
A
Okay, so I'm gonna be honest what I do with my money. I like to buy homes. Not to. I'm not going to say to flip them. I bought my first house with my first deal in 2019. Before I got a piece of jewelry where I just.
B
Now, if you ever wanted to know the moment I fell in love with you, it was down. Okay, so.
A
So.
B
So where's the home that you bought?
A
I bought a five bedroom. It was. This was in Maryland and still have it? No, I don't. I sold it. I sold it in 2023 and I bought. I bought a farm.
B
How'd you do on the house to make money?
A
I did make some money. Bought it for 380. At the time I was being dumb. I put a hundred down just because I wanted my mortgage to be a little bit low. Right. So I was only paying about two grand a month. That's great.
B
Do you rent it out?
A
No, I didn't.
B
Were you living in it?
A
No. But I did have my idea, my grandmother and grandfather with me though.
B
And they were there?
A
Yeah, they were there. Yeah. And I'm like, you know, it's a big break for us. You know, this was y'all been waiting for. I feel like that I owe it to the people who believed in me to begin with. You know, I still live there. No, no, no, no, no.
B
Where's your grandma?
A
She's actually in the process of moving in the house now. You got with that? Yeah, yeah. So at first that was. Are okay. We're gonna move as a joint venture. I had all of my family there. Everybody used to come through having cookouts. Everything was good. Everything still is. I just feel like, you know, from the city that I'm from, it's so envy. A lot of people want to, you know, and that's everywhere. Take your spot. Like I said, I do have the jewelry, the ice and all of that, but that's not my main focus. And I feel like that I built that for me as an artist because I don't have to have is like the proof is in the pudding, you know? And I like to show. I like to show what you can do with money. I like to show people what money can do. Rather than, you know, showing you what you can get with money, I like to show you what you can do with money, you know?
B
Yeah.
A
Oh, but I mean. Yeah, one more thing.
B
Yeah.
A
This where I was about to say where I'm currently at. I'm in the midst of signing the deal. I sold my house and I bought it for 380. I added some bathrooms. I didn't take out a home equity loan because I still making money. That's my deal. I did. Then I sold it for 550, bought it for 380, sold it for 550, got some profit. It was still a little bit mortgage left over, but I left with definitely more than I put down.
B
Good. Now let me ask you a question. Then you went and bought the farm.
A
Yeah.
B
You still have the farm?
A
I still have the farm.
B
What are you using the farm for?
A
Nothing. Right now.
B
It's just sitting there.
A
Yeah.
B
So I got you something. Right.
A
I got. All right.
B
No, I got to teach you something because I made that same mistake. And then my buddy Charlie told me something. I had 10 homes and they were almost all sitting empty. And he looked at me the same way. That's right. And he looked at me and he said, hey, listen to me. Abundance good, excess bad. Every home has to have a purpose. Now, for me, that was like a spiritual experience.
A
Right?
B
Right. You don't know what you don't know. So I'm like, what do you mean? And he said, well, you live in a house. Your children live in another house with your ex. You have to do something with these other homes. So I rented out six of them. Now seven today. Okay. Seven homes. And I don't. Now there's nine. Right. And my home and the family home. Right. But every home has a purpose. Right. Seven of them are returning income. Right. And two of them. We need to live.
A
Right.
B
Every home has to have a purpose. You have to figure out what to do with that, with that farm. And if you want help with that when this thing's over, we'll talk about that. We'll find some ideas for that.
A
Definitely do. I mean, I have.
B
Because you're bleeding. Yeah, it's. You're bleeding money. You're not creating eggs, you're not creating vegetables. You're. You haven't rented it out and you're paying property tax, you're paying insurance, and you're putting a mortgage. So Right now you're getting your kicked for no reason. Okay. Now you're a star player because you got a farm.
A
Yeah.
B
Okay.
A
I got animals as well, though.
B
And.
A
What? I got animals too. I had. I got seven chickens.
B
What do you do with the eggs?
A
They lay me about a. I don't sell them, but they leave me about a dozen when it's good weather. Like a dozen a week almost.
B
And you eat them?
A
Yeah.
B
Oh, that's great.
A
Yeah.
B
Okay, that's good.
A
So.
B
But you don't need a whole farm for that. You put a chicken coop in the backyard of.
A
Yeah, yeah, that's true. I got goats.
B
Yeah. What do you use the goats for again?
A
Nothing. I just bought a house.
B
Why do you like the goats?
A
They cool. They. They be chilling with the dogs. Act like family. Really? Me chilling with the dogs. Okay.
B
And I won't talk about the goats.
A
Like, I'm talking about, they not wild at all. They follow you around the. They don't be kicking, sniffing, doing all of that because I got them so young and I literally raise them with the dogs.
B
Oh, that's cool.
A
You know, I still got cats. No cats. I used to.
B
Okay, don't tell anybody that again, okay?
A
No, for real. But I. I did used to have cats, but experience with cats sounds crazy.
B
You said you had a lot to say right when you got here. What, What. What's on your heart?
A
I don't know. And drugs. I'm not going to say that I have a problem. It's. It's been a bunch of times where, you know, definitely in the past where I have. I wasn't acting like myself when I did have this, you know, specific thing. I was crashing out on other people that was around me, but, you know.
B
Crashing out on people.
A
Okay, sorry, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. But crashing out is basically out of the ordinary. Anger when it's not necessary. Okay, that's nothing. Damn. That's kind of a good way to put it when it's like, okay, this. The situation is at a 50, but you want to bring it to 1050, you know what I'm saying? Just. Just because. Just crash out. It's just like if you tap me on the shoulder, shoot you with a gun. It wasn't. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's crashing out. But like, I was fighting family even when I was young, you know what I'm saying? Like, for my uncle, all because he told me to get good grades into school, but I told him that I was going to do this So I don't want to get good grades. And I was like, I'm not going. I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for my grandmother. And I just want her to see me even though that she seen me be successful, but like just how she poured into me and even though that I pour into her as well. I just wanted to be like. I can't explain it. It's just so much on my heart, man. Sometimes it just sit in the dot, you know what I'm saying?
B
So let's talk about your drug use. Because you love your grandmother, okay? And your grandmother is in love with her baby boy. That is for sure. You said you're still doing drugs. Okay, Now I know you're smoking weed, but let's put that aside. Let me just ask one thing about the weed.
A
You make me emotional.
B
But why, buddy? What made you emotional? What part of it?
A
Just like a. You know what I'm saying? Like a. Like a touchy topic, you know what I'm saying?
B
The drugs or the grandma or what? Or what the drugs are doing to your grandmother? Yeah, that's what it is. That's right. Now, what drugs? Forget the weed right now for a minute. As long as you're getting weed at the dispensary, you're not going to die. They're putting fentanyl on the weed now, dude. On the street. Where the. Could they sell weed on the street if there wasn't fentanyl in it or was embraced with something that makes no sense at all? Right? Anybody can walk into a dispensary, okay? That's like legal, right? Okay, so that's. Just don't buy it on the street. But what are you. What are you doing now?
A
I'm not on pills no more. It's just more of a. Like. Like the cops are, you know, like the lean. Yeah, that's like in liquid heroin. And so many words that come just becoming sometimes hard to kick the cup, you know?
B
Do you know why that is? How long have you been doing it?
A
Since, like, heavy. Since about probably 20, 22.
B
Do you know why you can't stop?
A
Does anyone ever.
B
Oh, yeah, I do. I'm. I'm pretty certain I know the reason, in fact, and by pretty certain, I mean certain, sir.
A
All right?
B
The reason you can't get sober is. Or get off that. Forget sober. The reason you can't get off the lean is because they're opioids. And if you do every day for longer than five to seven days, you don't have it anymore. It's got you so physically you need it. Because if you don't have it, you're going to get sick. Violently sick. You know that, right?
A
Yeah.
B
Okay. You want to stop doing it?
A
Yeah.
B
Well, you know what I do for a living, right? I mean, what do I do for a living?
A
Get people off.
B
That's right. I get people off drugs, but anybody can get people off drugs. I keep people off drugs. That's the difference. So you want to go into treatment today? Oh, you didn't see that coming, huh? You're on glue. What you think? What do you think, man? I was going to let some guy in here dependent and sick, right? And just not go, oh, hey, see you later, dude. Good luck. Is that what you thought was going to happen here?
A
Nah, you. You look, though, isn't he?
B
I help people for a living, but I'm a piece of. I'm not helping you.
A
Take it easy.
B
Grab a water and a banana before you leave, man.
A
I never cry with camera in my life, bro. That's crazy.
B
Answer the question.
A
Yeah.
B
You want to go to treatment today? Well, guess what? You're going today. You're going to get well today. And you're never going to have to live like this again. Not ever. Not ever again. And as long as you don't pick up again, you're never going to need it again and you're never going to be a slave to it. Slavery ended in 1865, okay, but you're a slave to drugs, okay? We don't need this shit. We don't need it.
A
Yeah, I just, you know, majority of the time, just take it step by step, you know, wing off it. Some other days when I'm in like a more mad, you know what I'm saying? Like angry type of mood, there'd be more. Sometimes I'm like, hey, bro, I'm going the whole day without it. Do it. But then sickness.
B
Yeah, you're the best. Laid plans go completely awry, okay? Your intentions are honorable. You want to get off of it. It's not your fault that you can't. Nobody can. Nobody. Because people who stop doing what you're doing cold turkey, they can die from the detox, right? And depending on how long you've been doing it and how much you're doing it, okay? That's going to tell you pretty much whether or not you're going to drop. And I didn't ask you those questions yet, but I don't need to. You're going to be assessed, okay, by nurses and doctors and. You'll be fine, okay? You'll be fine. You got health insurance? No way. Really? What kind of health insurance?
A
You got no insurance out here. Reunited health care.
B
Shut up. Really?
A
Yeah, like my grandfather credit.
B
Stop, stop, stop. I was going to do this for free, okay? But the good news is, is you get to come to treatment anywhere you want. Really? Where do you live?
A
Well, I'm moving out here for good. I'm Moving on the 15th.
B
You are?
A
Yeah.
B
Oh, you think you're moving on the 15th? That sucks, huh? You're moving today. You're moving into treatment today. You ain't moving on the 15th. You said you want to go to treatment today.
A
What?
B
You're going. You said you wanted to go. You said you wanted a life.
A
I do. I do.
B
I do.
A
Go.
B
Tell me, you got a girlfriend? You love her?
A
Yes.
B
She on the pills? She on the lean?
A
No.
B
She do any of that?
A
Only smoke.
B
Only smoke. How does she feel about it? Not to leave?
A
Hates it.
B
You love her?
A
Yes.
B
Smoking hot, right?
A
Yes.
B
Yeah, bro. You're going. You want to go and you're gonna go. You're gonna have a good life and we'll talk about it off air. We don't need to do this whole thing here. But you're gonna go. You love it. You want a life. Okay? Your grandmother is in love with you. Your girlfriend's in love with you. And the most important thing is you've got a child. How old is your child?
A
Just turned five. On a knife.
B
Dude, you're missing it. You're missing it. The best time with my kids was between two and a half and six. You got another year that you're never getting back. You better be clear for that because you want to remember it. You really do. Okay. I mean, this is the best time of your life right now. On my life? This child. When you're with this child, is there anywhere you'd rather be?
A
Nowhere my child would rather be with me.
B
That's right.
A
Anyways. That's right over his mom.
B
Okay. You guys live together or no?
A
No.
B
How often do you see your boy?
A
I have my child majority all the time.
B
Really? God, that's so good. Where is he now?
A
In Maryland, currently.
B
How long have you been here?
A
For about almost two weeks.
B
When's he coming out? You gotta move the mom out if you're gonna be here. You gotta move her out.
A
Yeah.
B
You cannot be away from your child. Sorry, man.
A
I know. That's been, like, weighing on me, too. Not only my boy, but my girl, you know? I have a.
B
You have a daughter, too. Different mothers.
A
Same.
B
Same mother. And do you have her the majority of the time, or.
A
No, she mostly be with my baby mother, mom, but my relationship with her is very close. You know, she just turned three in January, so I put three and a five not far apart.
B
Do not. Do not move away from your children. Do not. You will never forgive yourself.
A
Yeah.
B
And then you won't stop doing these opioids. And the reason you're not going to stop doing it is because it works. They call them painkillers for a reason. It works better on emotional pain than it does on physical pain. Physical pain. I take four Advil and two Extra Strength Tylenol, and I'm as good as you can be. Okay. But for emotional pain, the pain you're in and the pain that you're gonna be in if you do this, that's what the lean is for. The lean is for you, so you don't have to feel and fall apart. I swear to God, dude, I'm wrong about a lot of things, but in this area.
A
No, you not wrong. You not wrong.
B
Not if I'm opening my mouth about stuff like this. I'm not. But it's the only thing I know, so you gotta. If I didn't. If I wasn't good at this, I'd have no value at all, you know?
A
Yeah.
B
You're not gonna have to live like this anymore. I promise you're not. Not if you don't want to. We can turn you around. Congratulations. Congratulations, bro.
A
Congrats.
B
Congrats.
A
Congrats.
B
Congrats, man. Good. Now let's talk about something fun. All right. Okay. What's fun? I don't know what's.
A
Okay. I. Only thing I had, like, a question is, from you, being, like, you know, successful in what you do, even with the podcast and everything, what would you consider something that. To invest, like, money in? And I know that's free game, right?
B
No, no, no. Listen, there are a lot of people that hide the ball when it comes to financial literacy. I'm not one of them. It's one of the reasons I love talking to the underground rap scene. They have no clue about it, and I definitely. I'm begging to teach them because I've made so many mistakes, and I want to make certain that others don't make them, because a lot of people don't come back from it. Now, I did, but I don't know if I'm lucky or gritty or resilient or whatever, but it's you want to be financially literate. Now, what I would do with my money, okay, is the first thing I would do is put it with a wealth manager, okay? And they'll give you 5% in a special account, right? Something like that. Now that's not a lot of money, right? But think about it. Let's say you have a million dollars and you're making 5%, okay? That is 50,000 bucks a year. Wait a minute, 5%, that's nothing. Excellent. However, you have to put your money away somewhere, okay? That's generating interest until you know what to do with it. What would I do with it? I would start dollar cost averaging. That means put in a small amount of money every single month into index funds. So it would follow the NASDAQ and the S&P 500 and the DAO, okay? And these three different exchanges. When you put it in over time. Now, you're going to probably get like 11% over time. But it compounds on itself. It compounds on itself. You got a phone?
A
Yeah.
B
Open a phone.
A
Okay.
B
It's called compounding interest, right? And all that means is my money is working for me. I ain't working for it, okay? And you leave it there. And you leave it there over time. This is money that you're putting aside. And if you're working, you're putting aside whatever you can afford. Now, it has to be at least 10%, okay? If you own. If you make 10 grand a month and you only need 5 gr. Of 5 grand a month to survive, okay, you got to put away 10% and save the rest for a rainy day, taxes, whatever, okay? But you have to put that money aside. If you only need three grand a month, okay, Then you have to put the rest away, okay? Because you only want to spend what you need. Okay. This is so exciting. Are you excited?
A
I mean.
B
No.
A
Well, maybe, because I don't think that is what I mean.
B
At a 30 year, what does that say?
A
You know, what does it say? No, no, no. And say. I don't know. All right, at the end of the 30 years, with 11 annual interest rate compounded yearly, your 1 million will grow to 22,892,297.
B
Huh? You'll be 54. I'm 58. What would you do with 22 million bucks right now? The same. We just talked about the same. Hold on. You're 54. Let's see, 64. Hold on. This is gonna be the best 22. Hey, buddy, add 10 years to that for a total of 40. Let's see, it's so exciting. I'm so excited.
A
Damn. That's like a million a year forever. Damn.
B
Out of 1 million number after 40 years, please.
A
After 40 years, at 11% annual interest rate compound yearly, or 1 million will grow to $65 million $867. So that's basically a million a year. Well, money glitch, whatever.
B
This is the way elegant men live. And you, sir, are an elegant man. I don't give a shit what fighting or how many violent exchanges you had. That's just part of what got you to right here, right now. And the only thing in life that matters is right here, right now. Because when you get to there and then, it's right here and right now, isn't it? Got it.
A
That's basically a million a year from when you start. Like what, a year after you start.
B
Off a million bucks and never putting in another dollar, go find, go bust your put a million dollars in dollar cost average on those three things. Every month you put in more money, okay? And just forget about it because this is history. This is the history of our country. It ain't changing. Okay? That's what you want, big boy. That's. That's it.
A
All right. That sound cool. We definitely gonna.
B
Now, what you want to do is you want to start working all the time, putting as much money away as you can, because time matters. You saw the difference between 20 and 30 years. It was $43 million. Now, your first 30 was only 22. How the hell for another 10 do you get three times? Well, the way you do it is it's the magic of compounding interest. So what you want to do is you want to. If you've got 50 grand now, put the 50 grand in now and then just keep doing it over time. Because if you wait till you have a million bucks, it doesn't work. But just know that if it takes you three years to put aside a million dollars, just know that the clock starts ticking. Now the clock starts really ticking. And the good, meaning this, the 40 year starts. You're 24, okay? And you said that you wanted to leave something to your children, did you not?
A
Yeah.
B
Or was that the last episode? I mean, okay, all I'm saying is you want to. You want to leave something to your children.
A
100%.
B
And after you do that, I'll talk to you about generational skipping trusts, so that way your child doesn't have to pay into exorbitant taxes and your grandchildren will have the money. And now all this bull stopped with you and you've got a new history to give to your family and leave behind. Because the only thing in the life, in our lives that matter as parents is making certain that our children are okay in the world when we're gone and leaving this place better than we found it. That's it. No violence. It's not necessary. Unless someone breaks in your house.
A
Well, you gotta worry about it with me. You know what I'm saying? I. I move accordingly.
B
And that's so gangster. I move accordingly. How good is that, man?
A
I've been through it all. When I tell you, like, like in Houston, random shootouts, like, was like Grant the Fato, you know, it was me and my friend swerve and he, like, he a loose screw, man, and it was crazy. And my cousin Wood, he. That's my blood cousin, but he throw it off. He thrown off too. That's why I be traveling by myself. I don't want to bring him around. Well, not him specifically, but a lot of my friends, you know, even when they do have money, they. It's like gluttony. Like they can never get enough. I can never get enough neither, but I can. You know, if. If we. Yeah, if we go somewhere and we make a hundred bucks together, we mowing the lawn. Make a hundred bucks. I don't want to take your 50 from you. We splitting it down the middle. You know what I'm saying? But where I'm from, that's how it is. It's just like eato B and like, shootout in the pizza places. All type of.
B
Can I tell you something, Wood?
A
Getting on the ground like 007, shooting under cars. This, I'm demand. All right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
B
Let's.
A
Let's.
B
Let's have a new rule to live by.
A
Let me put on my glasses. I'm more intellectual of these.
B
Okay, well, if you're gonna do it, I'm doing it.
A
Yeah, I can see for. I can't see for.
B
I'm so much handsomer when people aren't wearing their glasses, right?
A
No, I can't lie. When I look in the mirror, when I put on my glass, I'm like, damn, this how I look. Like, I. I thought it would be better. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, I thought it'd be better though. But yeah, I'm for the most part, bro, I'm.
B
You got great hair, dude. Nobody has hair like yours. If I could have hair like yours, I have hair like yours.
A
Is my hair all over the place?
B
No, that's cool, bro.
A
They put me on here because of my sideburns. I keep telling people that I shave them like this on purpose. I just shaved my chin here. I just been doing it. One time I grew my beard out when I was in jail, but that's about it.
B
Like, why you like the sideburns like that?
A
Oh, my gosh. People going to hear this. And I'm like, what the. Okay, here's a rapper from my city, right? His name Shy Glizzy. Well, he's not from Maryland, but he from dc. You know what I'm saying? Whatever. Have you. I don't know the whole politic world. So he came out with a song called Disrespect the. Disrespect the Tech, I believe. And is the song with an artist named Fat Trail. That was all. That's also from dc. Fat Trail, my dog. So is it this? And he had like a ski mask on top of his head and his beard wasn't fully grown out. But I didn't know that he was actually growing. And I'm thinking he cut it like that. So when my started growing and I'm young, you know, teenager, I'm like, I want to have mine like that, too. And I just started shaving my chin hair ever since then and just keeping the sideburns.
B
So that's exactly why I do this. Because you saw somebody who you admired.
A
And you did that, yeah, look cool. That look cool. And it just became me. It just became my image after that.
B
But you're doing the same thing here. See, you're talking about your experience with drugs and how that doesn't serve you, how it's keeping you from being your best self, your highest self. And just like you were influenced by your buddy, these kids that listen to you are influenced by you. So I don't know if you understand this, but there are kids out there because they're not viewing this for me. Nobody's viewing. Nobody's viewing this for me. They're here for you, okay? And some of these kids are going to be like, you know what? That's cool. I'm not going to do that. Right? And so you.
A
Please don't do drugs, kids. I'm begging you, don't. Don't get into it. Don't try to get into the life. I did it right. That's how I did it right, dude. I did it right.
B
This guy came here and put his glasses down like this.
A
I just got him two days ago. And I'm like, I just got him to do it, like, so, yeah, okay, yeah, scrap it. Like I said, I'm just wanting to let. No to all of the kids and everybody who watching me. Like, I know it's repetitive that a lot of artists do say this, even if they don't mean it. But I'm telling you because of experience of what I've been through and what I seen, not from, you know, I'm not speaking from nobody else experience in my life but mine's. And when I tell you that drugs is not the cool thing, I know the double cup is a little aesthetic and all of that, but please, you know what I'm saying? It would take a lot from you that you wouldn't even realize. You know, I've seen friends that come from good homes who pure. And drugs, you know, got to their mind so much that now they steal from me. I'm like, bro, this is not the person that I met 10 months ago. It don't even take that long. You know, it can be less than a year and somebody can be completely gone and also never come back. You know what I'm saying?
B
So some people don't. Yeah, some people know. Thank you for that. That was very kind.
A
I'm glad that I got this on my chest because I never been. A lot of people never seen me so vocal. A lot of people never see me so vocal inside of a interview, let alone shed a tear. Oh, my gosh. But, you know, it's about. It's. It's about time that I express my feelings because a lot of people feel like that they know the music but don't know me anymore. And I feel like it start off with accountability to cup. You know, when I. Sipping and sipping and everything, it had something to do with that. And at first it was just for recreational use. How it always start with somebody like recreational looking good for the aesthetic. But this is not. Not taking a shot at the bar. You know what I'm saying? This is. This can be life term. So that's all. But other than that, though, I feel like that I'm good. Like I'm in. I'm in the right head space to keep going. And how I plan everything is. I put. You know, I put God first and let everything fall into place. And I. One thing about me, I'm strong and. And I might make dumb decisions, but I'm still not an idiot. Even everything that I do, I'm. I'm. I'm well aware. Conscious of what I'm doing. There's been times in the past because that night that I got locked up, I was on Zanz and my first year, my first year. And they offered me a plea of six years, but instead of that, they gave me, I think like eight months, all suspended. No, two years, all suspended by eight months. The rest of the four years that would be served would be parole, probation. I never had no dirty urine, but I also didn't have a drug charge. I didn't even start. I came into the game later, I say, you know, I didn't even start smoking. I didn't even start smoking. I maybe smoke weed once a year. Like I never even used to smoke until about the same time that I got on the cup, maybe around 20, 22. And it was messing with me so bad, especially last year, because I used to be what, 350 pounds? Now I was about like 360. Now I'm about like 250 ish. So this is last year. It was 2023. November, you know, I was trying to go cold turkey Thanksgiving, I was in the hospital. They put me on a. When I tried to stop, you know, I'm like, I want to be around family. Nobody want to be moving around sluggish. And it was terrible because even my little brother and I was influencing that behavior, you know what I'm saying, With my little brother, qp. And I was influencing that behavior. He was sipping too, and he's 15, you feel me?
B
Your son is six, right?
A
Five years?
B
Five. Dude, you can't let your kids see you doing this.
A
No, of course.
B
Now let me just tell you something, okay? This is a rule I learned not long ago. It. I mean, I'm. I'm slow, okay? But I get there and I've been told for years this statement and I blew it off. If there are people in your life that do not add value to your life, get rid of them. And true words were never spoken. If you're with people hanging out with people that don't add value to your life, cut them loose.
A
The end high pill to swallow. Man's got such a good heart. I still see the good in the people who even, you know, who even gone. You know, I still believed in my, even my grandfather, even even with him. I trusted that he would get clean. But it led to disappointments for sure. You know, I was in a one time, I was in the middle of shooting a music video with, you know, my cameraman, JV Productions. I was in Maryland. This is in my brand new house. I'm shooting the Music. Music video. I hear, like somebody fell. I go upstairs. My grandfather laid out in the bathroom with a needle over his arm. Blood everywhere. We had to take the needle out. You know what I'm saying?
B
Did he die right there?
A
Yeah, we had the Narcan. Him.
B
Okay. But he didn't die.
A
No, he didn't pass away right there. But that was just one incident of many overdoses that we seen. We had. The ambulance gave us a Narcan for us to keep in the house. And it was elephant tranquilizer. They. He was.
B
He was on tranq.
A
Elephant tranquilizer. Heroin, you know?
B
No, he was on tranq.
A
Yeah.
B
That's the zombie drug. Okay? What happens is they have this. And. And by the way, it's not animal tranquilizer. Let's just get that clear. It's not there to tranquilize the elephant. It's there to put the elephant down. It's meant to kill elephants. That's what your grandfather was using, A drug meant to kill an elephant. Yeah. People don't understand that. Now, let me explain something to you. They take fentanyl and they take this. This. This elephant tranquilizer, which is why they call it tranquil, okay? And they shoot it. And then they lean over like that with rigid arms, and they're just like their nick. Like their knuckles are dragging on the ground. And then it's a flesh eating drug because the other wasn't fun enough. So there's more. And you get these holes in your arms or in your legs, like big. Like a baseball.
A
Yeah.
B
And then what they do is they take it and they shoot it in that. And you can see the bone. And it. Narcan doesn't work on it.
A
Yeah, it doesn't work on it.
B
Okay. That's why it didn't work. Okay? And he's lucky to be alive. He's open beyond. Lucky to be alive.
A
Yeah, at the time.
B
But you know what the sad part about it is?
A
Yeah.
B
He woke up and he wanted to do another hit immediately. Do you know why? Because wait a.
A
Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second.
B
Oh, now you're freaking out. Because you're like, how the hell does he know that?
A
I swear to God, he literally was like. He's like, why y'all throw my away, man? Where's my at, man? When he got there, he's like, why y'all do that? Why y'all call the ambulance? Almost.
B
Good. Do you know why he did that? Because what feels the best is getting as close to dead as humanly Possible without dying. How scary is that? That's what feels the best. So he. He was as close to dying as humanly possible. Woke up. That feel the best, like, okay, time for another. And everybody else in the room is like white and like this and just freaked out. And he's fine because. Yeah, you know, it's like, you know, when somebody walks into a room, lights the match and walks out, then everybody's like, that's what happens. He's fine. He left the room. Okay. Everybody else that's witnessing this is traumatized. He has no recollection of that. None.
A
We also had to give. Here's my stepbrother, but you know, because they adopted me, you know what I'm saying? Legally too.
B
Who, your grandparents?
A
Yeah.
B
So do you talk to your mother at all?
A
Yeah, I do.
B
You good, man. How often do you talk to your mother?
A
Maybe like every other week. My grandmother, I talk to her every day though.
B
Is. Does your mother and your grandmother talk all the time?
A
Yeah, yeah, they. She. My grandmother raised her as well.
B
Right.
A
So.
B
Okay. Does. Do your kids have a relationship with your mother?
A
Yeah, I'd say yeah, she just had my daughter. She took them to the. Took them to. What is it called? This amusement park? Yeah, amusement park, something like that. And my son, I mostly have him. He's like. He attached to my hip, like, you know, so. But my daughter, though, and that. She definitely have a relationship with both of them, you know, she didn't abort.
B
You and she didn't leave you in a trash can.
A
Yeah, she never showed me out. You know what I'm saying? She done what she can.
B
She looked at your mother, at your grandmother and said, I'm 15, you're my mother, I don't know what to do. And she gave her to your mother, to your grandmother. She did the best she could. She was 15 years old.
A
Yeah. And Justin and me, I've got a.
B
15 year old daughter. She couldn't. I mean, the chance of her doing that would be zero. Okay. I mean, no chance. A 15 year old doesn't know how to take care of a child. It just.
A
That's the way it is at all. I mean. But that's the thing though. I just feel like, because say she been through a lot, that she think that I'm. That I have something against her, that. That I. I feel some type of guiltiness. I'm like, mom, I never felt the way that she wasn't. You know what I'm saying? Because I understand. I understand of me having even everything that I had going on, it'd be so overwhelming. Especially when you're a teenager. You just. You just, you just learning cross multiplicate multiplication. You know what I'm saying?
B
So just a hug when you see her?
A
Yeah, yeah. Me and my. Me and my mom like not beefing at all. I didn't love each other.
B
Do you feel the love?
A
Yeah, I feel like that I can. I feel like that she free spirited. I can go to her about every anything she used to and do drugs. But it was more like party recreational like the little ecstasy. She was never gone off of drugs though.
B
Hey babe. Thanks for coming. Yeah, you are the best time ever. Appreciate you really are. Okay. Where can people reach you?
A
Where can people find all of my Instagram? Well, my Instagram is Xan serving X A N serving S E R, B I n and my YouTube, Zan Man, Spotify, Apple Music, XAM man. Yeah.
B
Last question. What's your favorite song that you've done ever?
A
Oh my gosh. I can't lie. I have about like. I have a. That's. That'd be a hard question to answer. I have about like one.
B
Okay, just give me one of the group and one that did the best. The one that you, that you personally love. That also did very, very well.
A
Okay, I say point. It's called point. I got about like 7 million views on YouTube.
B
Okay.
A
If I'm speaking more recent, I'll say Shattered Dreams.
B
Okay. Do you own those two songs or does a label own them?
A
I own those two songs.
B
Are you sure?
A
Yes. I make money off it mostly.
B
Which one do you want us to play on the outro of this or is there one that you're pumping a new one that you're gonna pump? That's probably the way to go.
A
Yeah, I say that.
B
Okay.
A
I say that it bring in more people in tune too, I feel.
B
Yeah, like what do you like? Which is the new song?
A
I was. I'll say Shattered Dreams.
B
Shattered Dreams.
A
Yeah.
B
Okay. You can find that. That's a good one. You like that? Shattered Dreams.
A
See you next Tuesday. I told that hoe if you want to stay with me, you come to the hills get a dream Cash. My dog told me kid to cut last week but ever since then I had lean back. I got a bad bench no butt last week. I'm still trying to hit it don't seem friends she wanted a burger, I got a Chanel. And ever since then she been mean at me. I told you baby I spoil like a bread Came a long way N C no d walk me. I'm catching a hat. Seline. Seline. I went in a set. She don't want to leave. She see all these rats is not what it seen and baby was at.
C
If you or a loved one is struggling, we have a number that you can call. We'll help you find the best treatment that is right for you. Our company, one Call placement, is dedicated to helping you, and we'll find the best treatment that is right for you. So call now at 888-808-6159. Again, that's 888-808-6159.
B
Thank you.
C
We're out of time. Please subscribe on YouTube. Click the thumbs up and leave a comment. Please subscribe on Apple Podcast and Spotify and leave a rating and a review and share the we're out of time podcast with others you know who will get value out of it. See you next Tuesday.
Podcast Title: We're Out of Time
Episode: I Was Raised By My Grandmother To Avoid Street Life
Host: Richard Taite
Release Date: March 25, 2025
In this emotionally charged episode of "We're Out of Time," host Richard Taite engages in a deep and revealing conversation with guest Zan (referred to as A), who shares his tumultuous journey from a challenging upbringing to struggles with addiction and his path toward recovery. The episode underscores the urgent fentanyl crisis and its devastating impact on individuals and families, while also highlighting themes of resilience, the importance of supportive relationships, and financial literacy as tools for stability and success.
Zan begins by painting a vivid picture of his early life in Prince George's County, Maryland, particularly in the neighborhood of Bricey Road, Landover. He recounts growing up surrounded by street life, as many of his cousins were involved in the streets. However, his grandmother played a pivotal role in trying to steer him away from that path.
Zan was raised by his grandmother after his mother had him at a young age (15 or 16). His grandparents provided him with resources and support, including allowing him to drop out of school at 16 and purchasing him a music studio to nurture his talents.
Despite his grandmother's efforts, Zan admits that he succumbed to the streets, influenced heavily by his father and other family members involved in violent activities.
Zan shares harrowing stories of engaging in violent acts from a young age, including robberies and random assaults with his cousins, which were normalized in his environment.
The loss of his grandfather in 2020 to leukemia was a significant turning point for Zan, exacerbating his struggles and deepening his descent into violence and substance abuse.
His father's continuous incarceration added to the instability in Zan's life, leading him further into a path of aggression and drug use.
Amidst the chaos, Zan managed to cultivate a successful music career, which became both an escape and a source of financial sustenance. He discusses his connections within the industry, highlighting his direct relationships without intermediaries.
Zan also delves into his real estate investments, detailing the purchase and sale of properties that have contributed to his financial standing despite ongoing personal struggles.
Zan openly discusses the strain his lifestyle has placed on his relationships, particularly with his children. He emphasizes the guilt and concern he feels for not being fully present due to his addiction.
He highlights the importance of being there for his children and the emotional toll his absence has taken on him and his family.
A focal point of the conversation is Zan's battle with lean, an opioid mixture, which he has been heavily using since around 2022. He reflects on the immediate allure and the long-term devastation it has caused in his life.
Zan acknowledges the destructive nature of his addiction and its grip on his daily life, leading to violent outbursts and erratic behavior.
In a poignant and transformative segment, Richard Taite intervenes with Zan, urging him to seek treatment immediately. This appears to be a critical moment aimed at encouraging Zan to break free from addiction for the sake of his family and future.
Taite provides Zan with insights and encouragement, emphasizing the possibility of recovery and the importance of taking immediate action against addiction.
Later in the episode, Zan and Taite pivot to discussing financial literacy and the power of compounding interest. Zan shares strategies for building wealth through wise investments and the importance of setting aside money consistently.
This conversation underscores the significance of financial planning as a means to achieve stability and support long-term personal and family goals.
As the episode winds down, Zan reinforces his plea to listeners, especially the youth, to avoid drug use and the destructive paths he once treaded. He emphasizes accountability and the importance of making better choices for oneself and one's family.
Zan's vulnerability and openness serve as a powerful testament to the dangers of addiction and the possibility of redemption.
[00:00]
"All of my cousins was in the streets. But, you know, my grandmother didn't want that for me..."
[00:13]
"My grandmother was who raised me. She let me drop out when I was 16 and bought me a studio."
[07:08]
"He taught you to be violent?"
[03:49]
"My grandfather passed away in 2020... It only took him about a month and a half or two to take him out."
[12:56]
"I got a lot of connections. All of them are from me. Is never through a third party."
[30:01]
"You're going to go into treatment today..."
[37:35]
"It's called compounding interest... My money is working for me."
[48:14]
"Please don't do drugs, kids. I'm begging you..."
This episode of "We're Out of Time" serves as a powerful narrative highlighting the pervasive fentanyl crisis and its multifaceted impact on individuals and communities. Through Zan's personal story, listeners gain a window into the struggles of navigating a life entangled with violence and addiction, underscored by the desire for redemption and the pursuit of a better future. Richard Taite's empathetic yet assertive approach not only facilitates Zan's introspection but also offers listeners a compelling call to action—emphasizing that "the crisis is reaching a level of catastrophe and we're out of time."
By intertwining personal anecdotes with broader societal issues, the episode underscores the urgent need for collective action, support systems, and education to combat the devastating effects of the opioid epidemic.
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Remember, if you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, reach out for help. You are not alone.