← We're Out of Time
We're Out of Time
Meet the Youngest Radio DJ In History with an Inspiring Story Shadoe Stevens
00:49:36
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- [00:00]
Shadow Stevens
When I was 10, I built a radio station in my house. And When I was 11, I was discovered by a local radio station and they put me on the air as the world's youngest disc jockey. And my parents didn't drink or smoke or use drugs or curse or fight in front of the kids. Didn't want to drink. Drank once, projectile vomited. My fourth year of college, I discovered doctor prescribed prescription. And I had my own company called Shadow Vision. And we were doing things like the Blues Brothers and Fast Times at Ridmont High. And 48 hours you did those. Countless convulsions later, I had an overdose in my studio and I was walking my first daughter down the aisle. Kind of tremble a little bit. I see myself in convulsions on the bathroom floor. And I thought, I almost missed this. Find these things that you believe in, the greater your ability to turn your will in your life over to the care of this something you can't begin to comprehend.
- [00:55]
Richard Tate
Thank you for listening to the we're out of Time podcast with Richard Tate. If you haven't already, please follow the podcast rate and review. And if you're getting value out of we're out of Time, share it with someone else.
- [01:04]
Unknown
You know everyone. I wanted to introduce you to somebody who I saw in probably one of my first AA meetings ever, Shadow Stevens, the legend, the voice of television and radio when I was younger and just an absolute icon, man. Like, most beautiful voice, most talented man.
- [01:32]
Shadow Stevens
Please stop, stop, stop. No more, no more, please.
- [01:37]
Unknown
I was, I was telling you before this. You started talking to me and the only thing I could think of, I couldn't hear what you were saying, and the only thing I could think was, oh, my God, he's got such a beautiful voice.
- [01:52]
Shadow Stevens
And that is true.
- [01:53]
Unknown
So you can't. You kind of like a pret. Rife like, like, like she can be as smart as. As a tat, as sharp as attack, right? And you just can't hear her. So it's kind of like. That sucks for you.
- [02:09]
Shadow Stevens
Well, thank you. Yeah, it's good to be here. Or. Or anywhere, for that matter.
- [02:15]
Unknown
Let me ask you a question, man. You were such a massive success, one of the biggest voices in America. How did drugs and alcohol fit into that? And were you using while you were working or was it just an off the clock thing?
- [02:32]
Shadow Stevens
Well, this is a long story. I don't know how much you want to hear of it.
- [02:38]
Unknown
All of it.
- [02:42]
Shadow Stevens
I'll tell you in a nutshell. I grew up in Jamestown, North Dakota. I'm the oldest of five children. And my parents didn't drink or smoke or use drugs or curse or fight in front of the kids. My dad was very entrepreneurial. He owned clothing stores and toy stores and go kart tracks and fireworks stands on the 4th of July. And all of the kids would run a different fireworks stand. When we had fireworks displays, they were at our house. It was Norman Rockwell. And I had go karts, I had motorcycles, I worked early, I was very aggressively enthusiastic. And I built a radio station from a kit in my house when I was 10. And when I was 11 I was discovered by a local radio station and they put me on the air as the world's youngest disc jockey. And I did rock and roll on Saturday morning on K E Y J. And then I stayed doing radio most of my high school part time, you know, in the summers and went through five years of college. Didn't, didn't want to drink. Drank once, projectile vomited, Thought this is like my dad says, why do you want to drink? Makes you loud and stupid. So I didn't. Until my fourth year of college. I discovered doctor prescribed prescription of Desbutol. Desbutol was a brilliantly subtle combination of a wide variety of intoxicants, mainly meth and barbiturate. So it gave you the energy and it allowed you to stay thin and get a lot done while taking the edge off at the same time. It was widely abused and is no longer available. But that was the gateway. So now I have an acceleration that made me. Because I was always busy. I worked full time in radio and I went to school full time. And by the time I got to the University of Arizona, I was working full time at the radio station and doing school and doing plays and getting a lot done. Guy says, you want to try some weed? He says, you should try it. I mean, it's a plant. It's not like it's these heroin. So they had it all set up and it was a great big hookah and the hookah had these tubes and there was black light posters and they dimmed the lights and they turned up the sound system. And it was a great sound system. I remember the music when I first got high, it was Minnie Riperton. Suddenly I was elevated into the ceiling and I was moving at one with the universe. And I saw it in colors on the left and on the right and I understood. Oh, no wonder you can't explain this. It's like trying to explain the color blue to a blind man. It's experiential and I was really thirsty. And that night I bought my first ounce. And within a month, I bought my first pound. Then I moved to Boston. And in Boston, we were smoking every day. And we shared our vibrations. We laughed for no reason at things that weren't funny. And Guy says, you want to try some acid? What's acid? It's like grass. More intense. So I try it and I have a terrifying experience. I could go into this in great detail because it's wildly funny, but horrifying.
- [06:20]
Unknown
Well, that's not true.
- [06:21]
Shadow Stevens
But funny and horrifying. Funny. The funny. Horrifying.
- [06:23]
Unknown
Don't do the funny. Please don't do it.
- [06:25]
Shadow Stevens
Well, you know, in retrospect, it is actually kind of funny. So then I get a prescription doctor in Los Angeles. Because I had a lot of responsibilities, you know, a lot of people I'm responsible for. And I had to keep going. And I saw him for many years, but it was elevated little by little. And I always wanted to be up. I wanted to be working. I want to be trying things. I want to be doing art, I want to be writing. I want to be productive all night into the next day, you know, five day runs. And along the way I had a. An LSD experience that was out of the body. And I thought, I've got to find a way here without drugs. And so I started studying comparative religion and quantum physics and out of body experiences and the occult and meditation. And I learned to meditate. And I started. And I gave up drugs and. And alcohol. And for a year things got better. And then a guy came in. Now I had a. Now I had left radio and went into. In to production. And I had my own company called Shadow Vision. And it was a production company. And we were doing things like the Blues Brothers movie and Fast Times at RIDGEVAN High and 48 Hours.
- [08:01]
Unknown
You did those?
- [08:02]
Shadow Stevens
Yeah, I did all that.
- [08:03]
Unknown
Those are fantastic movies.
- [08:06]
Shadow Stevens
Yeah, they're great movies. And we were really on a roll and. And then I started doing television commercials. But about that time, about the time of the Blues Brothers, guy came in and he laid down an ounce of Peruvian flake. And it was crystal pure and it was pretty. And he said, have as much as you want. And I thought, I have really been good. Clearly I can pick it up or put a down stop anytime I want. What would a little needle line hurt? Well, I did two because you have two nostrils. And then I do two more to balance the hemispheres of my brain. And pretty soon I am parking and we're getting a lot done. And we Worked through the night and through the next day and through the next night. And we worked and worked and got a lot done. I think we did 50 commercials. And then I bought my own ounces and that opened up the door and now I'm back a hundred percent. And it was me and the team because I had this great team. I was doing television commercials. The Federated commercials. And I love those.
- [09:13]
Unknown
I forgot about those.
- [09:16]
Shadow Stevens
Those were the best. Yeah, there's a, there's a video on YouTube called Bludgeon Advertising that we did years ago. And it's the whole story of Federated and, and me. And in this campaign that I created and we did 1100 commercials. Now this was going really well and they were getting really fun, but I was losing it as it was growing. I am. I gained a lot of weight. I gained actually 50 pounds, but because I didn't stop eating either.
- [09:52]
Unknown
The only person I've ever known who got fatter while on cocaine was Sarge.
- [09:59]
Shadow Stevens
I know. Sarge and I have a lot in common. Okay. And, and I got big too. And people would say, you're big boned. I'm like, no. So I knew. I knew. But there's video. So we did this thing called Fear and Loathing in Big Sur. And what I did is I bought motorcycles for all the guys. So we all had motorcycles. And we put them in a big truck with all the equipment, the cameras and the lighting and everything. And we had a sober driver and headed off for big surprise. And we had an rv. And in the RV we were loaded up with cocaine and, and magic mushrooms from the Amazon. And I mean on and on, I'm just like. We were well packed and we got up there and part of that was to open stores in Sacramento and Fresno. So we do live appearances and Fred would, would show up and people would stand in line for two hours to meet Fred.
- [10:55]
Unknown
Fred Raiden.
- [10:56]
Shadow Stevens
Yeah, that was my character. Bred. Rated for better. It was alliteration. It was like Federated for Federated Fred and Freed. Rated for Federated Fred and free to rated my dog Veer for Federated. You know, so listen fast. I don't have a lot of time to talk. I've been irritated. Fear bus hated. You know, it's like.
- [11:12]
Unknown
And dude, he should do a commercial for something for us. Like, seriously, he's a genius.
- [11:19]
Shadow Stevens
So go on. That's a.
- [11:21]
Unknown
That you don't understand what these commercials were like. I mean, at a time where, you know, you'd have my dad doing commercials. 993-9999 right. Custom craft carpets. And then the next on television would be this guy Cal Worthington and his dog Spawn. So. And then Federated. So those are the three commercials that you would see all the time.
- [11:48]
Shadow Stevens
Well, the difference. The difference is that their commercials were good. Well, no commercial ever went longer than 10 days. We did five to seven, eight commercials a week. Turn them out, we meet on Monday, we would figure out the writing on Monday, we would get it prepared on Tuesday, we would shoot on Wednesday, we would edit on Thursday and turn them in Friday. For six years, suffering from a false misapprehension I will have all this was denied her rights to selection and freedom.
- [12:19]
Unknown
Of choice was a victim of under choice.
- [12:22]
Shadow Stevens
But she couldn't have been under choice. At Federated we have everything in audio, video, TV and tape. No. An NEC 26 inch color monitor. Save $100 now at Federated 749 whether the question is if she didn't go to Federated, where did she get under choice? Circus Circus or this obviously case of artificial intelligence? Ms. Tr. You'll see the we he had a VHS camera so he was videotaping Fear and Loathing and big surprise. And we're in in the band on the way and I'm amped and you'll see it, it's funny and crazy as can be. And then it. There's a point in the video that shows. And then he went into. Into rehab because it was like clearly out of control. But I mean I was using a. I lived in Malibu Canyon and I used into convulsions regularly. I had guns because I thought people were trying to kill me. I could hear whispers outside the window. And I put sheets over the windows and the doors and I put quilts over the sheets and the windows and the doors because you can see silhouettes through sheets. And then I realized you can see around the cracks of ground quilts. So I put nails at 1 inch intervals and I sat with my 12 gauge short barrel, double odd buck. And I thought either there's somebody out there or I've gone insane. I need to confront my destiny. And I went outside and I sat beneath the window with my 12 gauge and waited. And I heard a rustle in the bush. And then I jumped up screaming, now you die, mother. And I chased through the brush and they got away. So I went back to the bathroom to celebrate. Lock the door, put the towel under the door, ran the tub, had another hit, then rock back on the floor in convulsions. And when that came to I thought I should Take a breather. Not I should stop. I mean, because stopping wasn't clearly an option. When. When I got a. My doctor saw me and I had a physical, and he said, if you're lucky, you're going to die. I don't think you're going to die. I think you're going to have a heart attack or a stroke any minute, and you've got to stop or you're going to lose your ability to talk. You're going to lose the left side of your body. Something awful is going to happen any minute, and you got to stop. And I knew he was right, but I couldn't. I was humiliated. I was so ashamed of what had become of me. I thought, I'm insane. What's wrong with me? I can't do that. And I didn't. So countless convulsions later, I had an overdose in my studio. And my guys that worked for me came and found me at four in the morning. And they got afraid and they called my family, and my family ganged up on me and talked me into going into recovery. And I went to Betty Ford, and there was no room. So they said, come back in a few weeks. I went, please come back in a few weeks. But no, they said, well, let's make a call. And they found me a. A room in Scripts in La Jolla. And that's where I went. Worst day of my life. I'm sure that I would never laugh again. I'd never be creative again. I. It was like going into a mental hospital. And then I talked to the. To the counselor in. In admissions, and he said, you know, this isn't a mental hospital. You can leave anytime you want. But clearly things aren't going well for you, and maybe you should give it a day, okay? So I did. And then my roommate turned out. It was just like me. He was a wannabe, up all the time, crystal meth, coke user who's ready to leave. It wasn't working for him. And then we talked and we laughed, and he made me laugh. And that was my key. I laughed my way into sobriety. I sat there. We had a lot of opinions. And I say this when I. When I share. We had a lot of opinions for you alcoholics because, you see, we were the elite of the mentally ill. We were drug addicts. And they weren't talking about drugs. They were talking about steps or something that made no sense at all. And I couldn't relate to. So the counselor comes in a couple weeks in, and he said, you know, you guys should try listening. We were, we were, we were voted least likely to succeed because we had so many opinions about this whole program thing. And he said, this is the only thing that's worked. It's worked for millions of people. But you gotta know what you're, you gotta do it. And maybe you should figure out, listen to how it works. And then he turns and he said, you've got some anger issues. So if I were you, I'd get a sense of humor. If you don't have a sense of humor about who you are, what you've done, where you've been and where you're going, you're in for a rough ride. This life gets tough, you better be able to laugh at yourself. And for me, a bill went off in my head and I got up the next morning, half hour before everybody else and started meditating.
- [18:10]
Unknown
Tell me about the meditating because that's what you're doing now as part of your. Well, that's what you would give a lot of credit to, the way you feel and walk through life right now with it. I don't see you struggling through life is what I'm trying to say. I see you gliding through life based on the work and the maintenance that you do all the time.
- [18:37]
Shadow Stevens
I wish I could say that it was gliding. Everybody has things happen that are really difficult and that includes failure in work and aspirations and health issues and all kinds of things. But meditation is the only important thing I've discovered in life and I enthusiastically suggest that everyone take it seriously. And the whole step work.
- [19:14]
Unknown
Before we get to the step work, tell me about the benefits of.
- [19:19]
Shadow Stevens
Well, there's a couple. There are different kinds of meditation and people get comfortable with just something that's easy, like guided meditation or mindfulness. Mindfulness is you go sit in the park and you smell the fresh cut grass and you listen to the sounds of children and you hear the birds and you think the different kinds of birds and you watch a butterfly go by and you get out of projecting into the future or reflecting on the past. You're in the moment and you are basically saying, thank you, life is good. And that works. And so does guided meditation where somebody, you kind of turn your, your thinking over to a narrative delivered by someone else and they tell you and you see this movie in your head and you get out of the future and out of the past and you aren't thinking of traumas, you're thinking about. I feel calm. I feel calm. It's good, but true. Meditation is focused, mantra based meditation. And Basically you take control of all of it yourself and it's. And in, in yoga they teach you and they say watch your breath and that's fine, except it's really hard to watch your breath. The problem with all these things is that you, the critic in your head steps in and you know, you're listening to this voice and it really works and you feel calm sometimes and then you, then you go, wish he, wish he had a different voice, maybe a female voice. No, I've heard this thing travel down from walking down the path and there's the river off to the right and the sounds of crickets and thing about God done this, this is not working. And you go and you try to be mindful in the park and you know, I smell the fresh cut grass and I've. This isn't working. It's like, I got things to do. I forgot to send that email. I should take a shower and I've got a thing I've got to get to. And you're in your head, your head chatters when you're watching your breath. That's all well and good, but there are supportive kinds of focus that contribute to being able to watch your breath so that your mind doesn't have time to interject and to go. Because for example, if we were to sit here and you want to sit upright always and have your spine straight because all the energy is in your spine and you want to for your body to go into a deep sleep like state, which is beyond calm. Calm is one thing, but when you get into the body, getting so quiet that it gets numb and your body, body feels like it's out here, kind of like the skin of a soap bubble. And you are consumed in pure consciousness. And that's the, I am the witness, the soul, the spirit, the bubble of consciousness in an infinite sea of awareness. And you realize that the deeper you go, the deeper there is to merge into. And this is the high that we're all looking for. It's beyond calm, it's beyond peace of mind. It is, it's the confirmation of everything you believed or listened to or thought was reasonable about faith. Which is why I bring up to people that I think they should find their own body of evidence. You know, spend a little time looking at the poetry of Islam or the Buddhist con or this, the teachings of Indian masters or native American pow wows. What in you know what, what are the spiritual beliefs of people of great faith, the articulate ones, the physicists who nellipan dozens of quotes by brilliant people and every time I find one, I write it down and then I try to commit it to memory and it becomes part of my personal body of evidence. That has nothing to do with mythology or dogma. Mythology is always the stuff that atheists buy into. Yeah, he's part of the red seas. Yeah, right. Change water to wine, Haiti, you know, or dogma, which are the rules and regulations of how to get to the infinite. What. And then we get into the question of what is God and why do we use the word God? So why. And if you don't need to, don't. If that makes you uncomfortable. The almighty mover, the original source, the original operating system, that something that's infinite, incomprehensible, formless, absolute, that created all of this cause and effect, this universe of order. And the more you, you find these things that you believe in, the greater your ability to turn your will and your life over to the care of this something that you can't begin to comprehend. But when you meditate, it's the confirmation of all of those words and ideas. When you have the experience of going within, of transcendental consciousness, it affects everything. It opens up living in possibilities. It gives you ultimate hope. It gives you an idea of an infinitely perfect universe beyond the physical universe.
- [25:09]
Unknown
So that was graduate school. Yeah, everybody just got a doctorate on what it's like to be really. Self care. That's what that is. It's self care.
- [25:22]
Shadow Stevens
It's not wanting to suffer. What? It's not wanting to suffer. Yeah, I don't want to suffer. I'm not going to go out. You know, I. I got sober with a guy that was young, handsome, articulate, had his own business. Great. He owned a flower shop. And we saw him at meetings all the time and stopped seeing him. And one day I was walking down Melrose and this carcass started walking toward me.
- [25:51]
Unknown
A carcass?
- [25:52]
Shadow Stevens
Yeah, a carcass. And as it got closer, I realized it was my friend. And I went, hey, how you doing? And he said, you know, well, you know, I, I got it. You know, I went to these meetings all the time and it was like, oh, you just don't drink or use, no matter what. But so, you know, I didn't see the reason to go to meetings anymore because, you know, they were kind of boring. And, and, and I was going to church and I. And I went to communion and part of it was just a little shot of wine and I had it and nothing happened. Nothing happened. I'm good. So a couple of weeks later, a friend of mine was being promoted at a law firm, and everybody's having shots. So I had one shot and nothing happened. I was good. A couple weeks later, there was another one and other shots. I had a couple of shots, and then pretty soon I started drinking again. And then pretty soon I was drinking, you know, pretty much all the time, But I needed a lift, so I started doing a little cocaine. And then, you know, I. Well, you know, snorting it wasn't good enough, and I started smoking it. So he says, yeah, so then I started shooting it, and then I was drinking so much that I got gout, and my ankles were swollen purple and black, and my best thinking was to shoot the cocaine into the gout. That's a bad idea. Now. I would have that idea. You know, it's funny and horrifying, and he died a few weeks later.
- [27:29]
Unknown
Okay, not as funny.
- [27:31]
Shadow Stevens
Not as funny. Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's stark out there. And as you know, after you've been around a long time, you hear really terrifying stories. You know, you think you.
- [27:43]
Unknown
The. The. The. The public sees them as horrifying, but when we sit in a room in AA and we're listening to this, we're hysterical.
- [27:54]
Shadow Stevens
Truly. Truly. Well, you better keep your sense of humor right. You know, it's got. You know, what else have we got? It's like, if we could have done any better, we would have, but we didn't know better at the time. We were doing the best we could. We're just trying to get by where it was. Like, want to have a little fun. I just want to fit in. I just want to not feel uncomfortable and self conscious and afraid, and I want to be like the cool people. And I. You know, that's what I want. I wanted to be like the cool people from, you know, from the big cities. I grew up in Jamestown, North Dakota.
- [28:27]
Unknown
Were you using when you met your wife?
- [28:29]
Shadow Stevens
No. No, no, I. No. Again, backstory. I was married twice before, and.
- [28:36]
Unknown
Were you. Were you using when you met your first wife?
- [28:40]
Shadow Stevens
Yes. Well, we. We used together, and then she had the good sense to stop, and she. She left me because I was doing too many drugs, and she didn't want to be in Los Angeles anymore. So I'm saving myself and got away, and on the rebound, I married somebody else, and it seemed like a good idea at the time, and it was. We fought every day for five years, right? And then I got sober and went, I don't want to fight anymore. In fact, I don't want a relationship anymore. Clearly, it doesn't work for me. I didn't grow up like this. My parents didn't fight, they didn't scream. You know, I'm not, who, what, who have I become? And so I got happy being myself. I, I, when I got sober, I went, oh, I've got an active mind. I've got to get busy. So I took up martial arts. I took up yoga. I took up running. I went on a doctor, supervised fast and lost 50 pounds. I changed my life completely in mere months. And I meditated and I meditated every day, and I went to meetings. Now, nine months sober, my life has changed. I'm happy, I'm up, I'm doing things. And a guy that worked for me went to the bank, and he was standing in line next to this beautiful model, black woman, international model, Started talking. He flirted a lot, said, well, now come over and hear the music we're doing over at our studio. She goes, sure, I can walk into the studio and there he is playing music for her. And she's the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life. It's like, I tried to be cool. I'm like, so what are you playing here? I'm catching glances and glimpses and think, oh, God damn. And she got uncomfortable and left. She said later that I saw this aura around you and it was like, too intense. I had to get out of there. So I say to, I say, ron, who was that? He goes, it's a smile. I met her in the bank. I went, does she sing? Yeah, I think so. Get her back. So the very first thing we ever did together, I had sold a show called Shadow vision, which is very crazy, kind of like Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy at 100 miles an hour. And I sold it to HBO, and we were working on it at the time, and one of it was a little piece of music called oh, you perspire. And it went like this. Oh, you perspire. Yeah, you perspire. Oh, she'd go, you perspire. And we did this about 50 times because it was so sexy and so funny. And to make a long story short, we're still together and we've never had a fight. I've never raised my voice. I mean, we've disorder you, we've got, we've had, we've gotten edgy with each other a few times, but nothing. It's blessed. It's a fan. It's a fantasy land marriage.
- [31:56]
Unknown
I told you. I told you. And he's proof.
- [32:01]
Shadow Stevens
She's as good as it gets. And then, of course, my children look like her and are gorgeous, Stunningly beautiful. Yeah. And now I have three grandchildren who also basically look like her or variations. And they're gorgeous. And I pinch myself and I think, you know, I walk my. I have two daughters. I have a son for my first marriage as well, and we have a great relationship, and he's amazing. And I was walking my first daughter down the aisle some years ago, and it was Hollywood. It's like the most beautiful people on the left and on the right, candle lit. I mean, just like it should have been filmed. And I'm walking her down the aisle and she's like. She looks like. She's like Beyonce. You know, she's just beautiful. And I. And I tell this story all the time. I'm walking along and I kind of tremble a little bit because I see myself in convulsions on the bathroom floor. And I thought, I almost missed this.
- [33:10]
Richard Tate
Wow.
- [33:12]
Shadow Stevens
There have been countless moments like that of I almost missed this. These grandchildren. I mean, it's on and on and on. And how did I get so lucky? How come I didn't die coming out of a blackout in Topanga Canyon at four in the morning with my car spinning in circles right up to the edge of a cliff? It's like a Hollywood movie that really happened. And at the time I go, where have I been? I don't know what time is it? Where have I been for three hours? I don't know what I've been. So I get out of the car and I'm catching my breath, and it's four in the morning and it's dark out, and I'm in Topanga Canyon, and I don't know how I got there. And my best idea is to take out my gun and shoot it into the air as a symbol of my commitment to never use again. Nope. I got in my car and I drove slowly home, got some rest. Was heading into town to the studio the next day and was falling asleep. So what could I do? I had to call the dealer, and he was there. And so I was. I'm back on the treadmill. I'm not going back to that. I'm not going back. Life is good.
- [34:35]
Unknown
I always tell that to people. I always say, and everybody does, but it's the truth. If it was a better deal to get loaded, then I would be loaded. You know, in AA, we both love AA. I love AA, but I've been. In 20 years, I haven't been. I said something the Other day, in a room full of doctors and psychologists, they were saying something. I don't remember what they were talking about, but I said, look, unless you can give someone a life that is better or more valuable than the life they had when they came into treatment, they can't stay sober. The end.
- [35:29]
Shadow Stevens
Yeah.
- [35:30]
Unknown
And, you know, a lot of those people were in AA and they didn't like what I had to say, and they didn't like what I had to say because it wasn't one of the things that they've heard over the last 30 years in a room, from a podium or from the shares. And I was like thinking to myself, man, the problem with alcoholics is that everyone who's sober thinks they're an expert on alcoholism and recovery, and they're not. They're only an expert on their own recovery.
- [36:12]
Shadow Stevens
Well, you know, I don't entirely agree with you.
- [36:16]
Unknown
That's why I said it.
- [36:20]
Shadow Stevens
I really like hearing the stories, and they are miraculous. I have had a series of people speak for this meeting that I'm secretary of a cocaine Anonymous meeting that are jaw dropping. And it is a life beyond. That whole thing about a life beyond your wildest imagination is absolutely true. It doesn't mean that you still don't have trouble, you still don't have failures, you still don't have stuff you have to get through. But by being among others who are wired like we are, we get support, a support system, and somebody has been through this already who's had that operation, who's done something, who's recovered, who. You know, you need a job. All of a sudden a job comes up out of nowhere just because you were present. And. And those stories are the heartbeat of it is what happened. You know, what it was like, what happened and what it's like now. Basic the hero's journey. None of us should be alive. You know, everyone in there has come in broken and terrified and weak and ashamed, and all they do is take direction and then learn to help others.
- [37:46]
Unknown
Do you know what I learned from aa? I learned, and it was intuitive. I learned the difference between AA and treatment before I got into treatment was when you walked into treatment, it was tough love. And when you walked into aa, whether they knew it or not, it was all love. Right? Because you walk into aa, it is the worst day of your life.
- [38:22]
Shadow Stevens
No question.
- [38:22]
Unknown
In that moment, you're a loser. And your life came to this, right? And you are full of nothing but shame.
- [38:32]
Shadow Stevens
Yeah.
- [38:34]
Unknown
And intuitively, these guys just knew. Come on, get over here. You're going to be fine, I promise.
- [38:44]
Shadow Stevens
Yeah.
- [38:45]
Unknown
And that's what I took from A into our place. Because these people are so shame based coming in that to kick a horse when they're down makes absolutely no sense to me at all.
- [39:02]
Shadow Stevens
No. Yeah.
- [39:03]
Unknown
None. Love is everything. And I got that from AA because when I walked into aa, nobody wanted me around. I was such an. When I got to AA because my model was so bad, I didn't have any friends. I had to make you feel bad in order to make me feel good. Polar opposite of what they teach us in the AA community. And one guy walked up to me and he said, hey baby. So yeah. Said, you don't need to make that guy feel bad and make yourself feel good. You're perfect just the way you are. Come here. Gave me a hug, handed me a Cuban cigar. We smoked about beginner because I have so poor I couldn't pay attention. Right. A is the best thing that ever happened to me because I've got two children that I'm in love with. Thank God. Right. What would you say to parents that have children that are using with the dangers on the street right now?
- [40:15]
Shadow Stevens
There's a study in New England this last year of all of the cocaine that was seized and they did tests on it and found that something like 97% of it had fentanyl in it and something like 30 or 40%. I remember the numbers of xylazine, of tranq, the zombie drug. Yeah, well, who wouldn't want that? A flesh. The flesh eating drug. It's like, oh no, it's. It's horrifying and yet it's happening. And you know, we've got to reach out to people. Anybody that's going like, maybe I'm. Well, just if you don't think you have a problem, don't do any for a couple of weeks. See if you can do that. You probably can't. Everybody thinks they're special, they're different. I'm smarter. I don't use that way. You know, I was that way. So was I. And until it gets really bad, you don't do anything. You can't. And you have to be broken down in order to get to it. Unfortunately, yeah.
- [41:37]
Unknown
I tell people to seek treatment right away. I don't care where they get it. If they're younger and it's just started, I tell them to get a therapist right away. Okay. Once a week for their kid and once a week for their kid with the parent that they're most aligned with. Okay. Yeah, man, I'm scared I'm scared. It's different now, you know, 15 years ago you're having a conversation with me about this. I don't really care, you know, and I owned Cliffside because I didn't have a child yet. Second, you have a child, you know what love is, right? You don't know what love is before you have a child. You think you do, but you don't really know, right? Anyway, what are you working on now?
- [42:30]
Shadow Stevens
Well, my passion project started at the beginning of COVID and it was a lockdown and the whole world thought it's the end of the world and was terrified. And I'm sitting there with my studio and I thought, well, I've got to write something funny and uplifting. And so I started writing mental radio. It's mentalradio.net and it started with me doing everything I did all the production, all the writing, all of the sound design, all of the marketing, all of everything. And then I started attracting enthusiastic support. And the first one came from the guy was the director of my Federated commercials and he's also a world class composer. And I said, Chuck, do you have any music that you own the publishing to that I could use for my stories? And he goes, yeah, I've had all these movies I was paid to, to do that never came out and you can have whatever you want Library. It's like John Williams and Marconi and like the who's who. It's really world class music. And this opened up my. And Mental Radio is, is all audio theater. It's, it's stories, adventures, tall tales, serials and parody and sketches. And it all has a mythology behind it that gives it weight. And it's all dedicated to, you know, optimism and hope and big ideas and, and it's grown. And then pretty soon I've got people saying, you know, I do voices, I do voice work, you know, if you got any characters. And then I would write these things and I'd have them do it and we'd do it like, like an animated movie. And they would send me their, their pieces and I'd stitch it together to make it sound real. And it grew and now there are 26 episodes. Each episode would take weeks to do. It wouldn't be like an interview where you sit down like now and maybe edit it together. This is like highly produced, like doing a movie. And so some episodes would take a month, six weeks, it would take as long as it would take. And now there are 12 hours of stories and a little over a half million downloads. It's Got a bit of a following. It's got great reviews. My favorite is it is audio, acid and spiritual crack. If you listen to the stories with headphones, sounds come from behind you, they move around in your head. It's very cinematic and it takes you away from the world. About a year and a half ago, the president of the Montauban Theater in Hollywood, Gil Smith, was married to Ricardo Montaban's daughter for decades. And she died just before COVID And he called me and he said, one of the things I sat alone in my house during COVID one of the things that got me through was listening to metal radio and feeling laughing and feeling uplifted. And he said, what do you think about doing at his live theater? I think it's the greatest idea I've ever heard in my life. You think we can. He goes, yeah, I'm thinking giant screens, immersive, 360 degrees surround sound. So the kind of sound that you do in your shows actually happens in the theater. Hard left to right, things coming from behind, things. That is really an immersive experience. So we've been working on it for about a year and a half and hope to have it up this year. Last. The last nine months I spent, I wrote and produced 16 songs. So it's not a real musical because characters don't break into song. But there's so much music in it and, and the music is pretty fabulous. It's very uplifting and funny. There are songs like there's always someone to blame. In fact, I have a little piece of that if you want to play it. Yeah, but there's always someone to turn on, someone to behind all your pain.
- [47:00]
Unknown
I think that sounds fantastic. Is that coming out?
- [47:03]
Shadow Stevens
Yeah. Well, see what we're doing, we're trying to do the legal now. And the legal part is like always cumbersome. Sure. But we're in an advanced state of development. The scripts are done, we've done run throughs in the theater. The music is just finished in rough mixes. But the rough mixes are really fabulous. There's a song called don't you know who I am? I'm a self made overachiever. You know, it's. It, it's pretty. I don't know how to explain some of these things, but they're all different. The music is based on New Orleans second line music meets 1930s swing meets gospel. And the gospel is badass. It's. It's real big. There's so much recovery in this show. I mean, yes, we're learning to laugh at ourselves. Yes, we're laughing at being afraid. Yes, we're laughing at you know, who we think we are. There's a song called you got to keep your sense of humor when it is hitting the fan, sung by teenagers and is really fun.
- [48:10]
Unknown
Did I leave anything out? Do you have anything you want to say?
- [48:16]
Shadow Stevens
I would like to say mentalradio.net and my art site is called shadowedart.com S H-A-D O E A R T shadowart.com mentalradio.net and and watch the skies because we should be able to roll this out sometime this year.
- [48:40]
Unknown
That's such a great thing. I wish you nothing but the best and I can't wait till it comes out.
- [48:46]
Shadow Stevens
See you next Tuesday. Seriously.
- [48:52]
Richard Tate
If you or a loved one is struggling, we have a number that you can call and we'll help you find the best treatment that is right for you. Our company one call placement is dedicated to helping you and we'll find the best treatment that is right for you. So call now at 888-80-8-6159. Again, that's 888-808-6159. We're out of time. Please subscribe on YouTube. Click the thumbs up and leave a comment. Please subscribe on Apple podcast and Spotify and leave a rating and a review and share the we're out of time podcast with others you know who will get value out of it. See you next Tuesday.