It's My House (and I live here)

Summary

We're Your Girls – Episode: "It's My House (and I Live Here)"

Hosts:

• Host A
• Host B

Release Date: April 18, 2025
Platform: YouTube and major podcast outlets
Description: Two best friends navigate life, love, and personal growth with humor and heartfelt conversations every Friday night.

---

1. Navigating Life During COVID-19

The episode opens with Hosts A and B reflecting on their experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic. They discuss the significant impact the pandemic had on their lives, particularly highlighting their limited engagement with social media platforms like TikTok during this period.

Notable Quote:
Host B [02:21]: "I was back home when TikTok became obsessed with Tiger King, and I didn't know because I wasn't on TikTok."

During the pandemic, Host B moved to Florida to stay with her mother, finding solace in self-imposed isolation. This time was transformative, allowing her to reconnect with old hobbies such as sewing and dedicating extensive hours to journaling and meditation.

Notable Quote:
Host B [02:54]: "I completely deleted all social media. Pretty much fell off the grid except for talking to my one friend, Aaron, and my mom."

Meanwhile, Host A shares her journey of living alone in a challenging Brooklyn apartment, cleaning houses via Airbnb, and volunteering at a bar mission. Despite the uncertainties and financial strains, both hosts emphasize their resilience and personal growth during these trying times.

Notable Quote:
Host A [06:15]: "If we can do that and build this life in however many years, anything is possible."

2. Personal Growth and Resilience

The conversation delves into the themes of personal strength and adaptability. Host A reflects on overcoming the fear of uncertainty, drawing strength from her ability to navigate solo living and unexpected challenges.

Notable Quote:
Host A [06:15]: "If I can do that, I can do anything."

Host B echoes this sentiment, illustrating how their collective experiences have fortified their ability to rebuild their lives post-pandemic.

3. Living Alone in New York City: The Diva Dome

A significant portion of the episode centers around the concept of living alone, affectionately termed the "Diva Dome." Host B celebrates the accomplishment of maintaining a solo residence in New York City, highlighting the independence and personal space it affords.

Notable Quote:
Host B [16:13]: "Living alone in New York City... that's huge bananas, and I love every minute of it."

Host A expresses both admiration and nostalgia for living with roommates, reminiscing about the camaraderie and shared experiences. They discuss the balance between appreciating solo living and cherishing the dynamic interactions that come with shared living spaces.

4. Roommate Stories and Conflicts

The hosts recount vivid anecdotes from their past roommate experiences, particularly focusing on a memorable altercation during their college years. Host A narrates a dramatic incident where she attempted to mediate a fight between roommates, leading to unforeseen chaos and personal injury.

Notable Quote:
Host A [29:02]: "I tried to break up a fight. Didn't do well. And I remember from that day on, I was like, I will never live with this many girls again."

Host B supports Host A's narrative, emphasizing the importance of having compatible roommates and sharing her own horror stories, underscoring the universal challenges of shared living arrangements.

5. Sisterhood and Deep Friendships

A heartfelt discussion ensues about the profound connections that mirror sisterhood. Host A expresses longing for a sister-like bond, highlighting the unique security and understanding inherent in such relationships. Host B, with her own experiences of sibling dynamics, reinforces the value of deep, familial-like friendships.

Notable Quote:
Host A [36:31]: "I always really wanted one [a sister]. I love my brothers and I love being a sibling, but it is different to only have brothers."

They explore the emotional depth and unconditional support that sister-like friendships provide, contrasting them with other types of relationships and emphasizing their irreplaceable nature.

6. The Meaning and Use of “I Love You” in Friendships

The conversation shifts to the nuanced use of "I love you" within friendships. Both hosts grapple with the balance between expressing genuine affection and avoiding the dilution of its meaning through overuse. They discuss their introspections on conveying sincere love without it becoming superficial.

Notable Quote:
Host A [41:12]: "I really love when I meet someone and I spend more than five minutes with them, I actually want to say, I love you. Like, I want them to know because I love them."

Host B agrees, emphasizing the importance of reserving "I love you" for meaningful connections and acknowledging the emotional weight it carries in solidifying deep friendships.

7. Emotional Struggles in Letting Go

The hosts candidly address the emotional turmoil associated with letting go of fading friendships. Host A shares her vulnerability, revealing insecurities about being liked and the pain of drifting away from friends post-expressions of love. Host B discusses her strategies for moving on without chasing after others, highlighting the challenges of communal disconnection.

Notable Quote:
Host A [47:10]: "I'm mad that I was even part of that one. I should have. Wrong place, wrong time."

They offer supportive narratives on dealing with loss and rejection within friendships, encouraging listeners to find strength in self-worth and the natural progression of relationships.

8. Conclusion and Upcoming Content

As the episode nears its end, Hosts A and B announce a special upcoming book club episode featuring "Quicksilver" by Callie Hart. They encourage listeners to engage with the content responsibly, avoiding spoilers and fostering a communal discussion.

Notable Quote:
Host B [49:33]: "We're talking about Quicksilver next week. Gonna be good."

The episode concludes with warm farewells, expressions of love for their listeners, and a final endorsement of their sponsor, Soapbox.

Key Takeaways and Insights

• Resilience Through Adversity: Both hosts exemplify how challenging times, like the COVID-19 pandemic, can foster personal growth and resilience.

• Value of Independence: Living alone in a bustling city like New York is portrayed as a significant personal achievement, offering lessons in self-reliance and independence.

• Complexity of Friendships: True sister-like friendships are cherished, yet maintaining them requires emotional intelligence and boundary-setting.

• Authentic Expressions of Love: The hosts emphasize the importance of sincere emotional expressions, advocating for meaningful connections over superficial affirmations.

• Emotional Health in Relationships: Letting go of non-reciprocal friendships is crucial for emotional well-being, underscoring the need for self-worth and personal boundaries.

Notable Quotes Recap:

• Host A [06:15]: "If I can do that, I can do anything."
• Host B [02:21]: "I was back home when TikTok became obsessed with Tiger King, and I didn't know because I wasn't on TikTok."
• Host B [16:13]: "Living alone in New York City... that's huge bananas, and I love every minute of it."
• Host A [36:31]: "I always really wanted one [a sister]. I love my brothers and I love being a sibling, but it is different to only have brothers."

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Join the Conversation:
Tune in every Friday night to share in the laughter, real talk, and heartwarming sisterhood with Hosts A and B. Connect with them on YouTube and your favorite podcast platforms, and follow along with the hashtags #Sisterhood and #FridayVibes.

Sponsors:
A heartfelt thank you to Soapbox for supporting this episode. Discover their range of clean, vitamin-packed products available at Target and other major retailers nationwide.

Next Episode:
Don't miss the upcoming special book club discussion on "Quicksilver" by Callie Hart. Prepare your copies and join the conversation next week!

---

End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

Thank you to our sponsors and friends at Soapbox. We love Soapbox because they have a great company mission. Clean ingredients packed with all kinds of vitamins and they smell amazing.

[B]

I'm currently using the biotin and super fruit shampoo and conditioner. And girl, my moisture starved curls are eating this up. Shop your favorite soapbox products now at Target and other retailers nationwide.

[A]

Cause we're your girl. Hey.

[B]

Cause I like how you do. Hey, girl.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

How you doing?

[A]

I'm good. I'm a little tired today.

[B]

Yeah. Little sleepies.

[A]

Yeah, little sleepies.

[B]

I like your dress.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. Thanks. And my mullet.

[B]

It's getting warm. It's giving spring.

[A]

Thanks so much.

[B]

It's also giving Tiger King question mark. Have you seen Tiger? I've never actually watched.

[A]

Oh, my God. Me and Alec ate up Tiger King. Did you.

[B]

What was the name? Carol Bassett. Nope. That wasn't it.

[A]

No.

[B]

You're getting close. Yeah. Baskin. Baskin.

[A]

Baskin. Carol Basin.

[B]

Carol Baskin killed her husband. Whacked him.

[A]

Do. Killed her husband.

[B]

Whacked him.

[A]

Remember when that, like, swept the nation? Like, everyone was talking about Tiger King.

[B]

Because part of it was based in Florida. Am I wrong? Like, oh, yes. The big. The big cat ranch or something like that in Florida.

[A]

So I feel like you're. You probably were even more aware of it.

[B]

I was. I was back home. This was during COVID And I was back home when TikTok, like, became obsessed with it. And I didn't know that because I wasn't on Tik Tok. All my friends would call me and tell me, like, are you watching? Are you watching? It's actually where you're living, like, because it was close ish to where I'm from. I still know nothing about it beyond the fact that they remixed Megan Thee Stallion Savage with the song, basically with the show.

[A]

What's funny is you and I both didn't have at the height of COVID both didn't have TikTok. And I feel like that's when everybody got on TikTok for sure. I didn't even really start until the close of COVID And it's really funny that I'm often lumped into the people who say you're a Covid creator. And I really consider myself one. No.

[B]

Is that a thing?

[A]

Yeah. They'll be like, oh, you were one of those people creators that blew up in the middle of the pandemic because no one had to do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I, while I did blow up, when I first blew up, we were on the tail end of like the mask mandate had. Was coming to a close. Stuff like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like we were no longer masking. So I would say I was not a.

[B]

Not technically. Yeah.

[A]

I was just on the edge, on the periphery. Yeah.

[B]

In a lane of your own.

[A]

I forget. I mean, I don't forget that it happened, but that Covid happened. It was just such a crazy thing that we lived through.

[B]

I think my brain is protecting me from the emotional trauma that was isolation. That was hard for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I left the city and, like, went and stayed with my mom in Florida for six months. And, like, I just moved to New York. So I was here for about seven months before COVID hit. And my New York dreams were dashed in a moment.

[A]

I've never actually asked you this. What did you do during. During those six months?

[B]

I left. So I went to Florida and my mom and I were actually just talking about this earlier. That was the most restorative time of my life. I completely deleted all social media. Pretty much fell off the grid except for talking to my one friend, Aaron. That was it. Didn't even talk to. I won't say who, but did not talk to a lot of people during this time. Just my one friend, Aaron, and my mom. Every single day. I sewed obsessively. I was a costume girl in high school, so I was constantly sewing back then. But I kind of gave it up. I moved to the city.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I reintroduced myself to the habit. So it was making my wardrobe during COVID That's cool.

[A]

I forget that you sew.

[B]

It was crazy. And then every single day, I would get up and I would journal, I kid you not. For about four to five hours every day, like, I would meditate and journal outside in the sun. So you were writing all day my Covid journals. Like, I have a little stack in my bookshelf, probably this big of journals that are this thin. No, I'd say like this thin. Just a giant stack of them in my. Like, I can read my entire Covid experience. Like six months of isolation and journals. It's actually pretty cool. Pretty cool.

[A]

Your grandchildren will be interested in that.

[B]

Yeah, it's very cool. I don't open them. Like, that's a lot.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

But, yeah, that was the most mentally healthy I would say I've ever been. I loved. I didn't love Covid, obviously, but I did love the self imposed isolation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I came back to the city very fresh and excited about life.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

And then we met.

[A]

And then we met right after that. And yeah. We met right after that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. No, I was. I was in a bad apartment in Brooklyn because it was 775amonth, and I. I was cleaning Airbnbs. Empty. Airbnb. They're all empty. And so a guy gave me a job. I was cleaning houses, and not all of them are empty. There was a couple places that I would walk in, and I'm like, there are people here. And he goes, yeah, I have tenants there now. I'd be like, okay, so I'm just gonna clean around them. All right. So I would clean houses. And I also volunteered during the week at the bar mission. And then, because I was just like, I need something to do because I was alone and Alec was at sea. My husband, now husband, at the time, was a fisherman in Alaska. That's a whole story for another day in Crazy Chapter. So he was like, t, I'm going to sea. The moment things went crazy, I was like, all right. And we had been doing what we had done at this point. We were doing long distance. We had already been doing long distance for two years. So I was like, well, you know, that was. I was living in New York alone, and then. And I did go back and visit my mom in Washington for a part of that, too. So I was with my mom for a little bit. And then. Yeah. And then I came back to New York and went back to that apart. That little room in Brooklyn. And. Yeah, and that was, I think, at that time. So I get so nostalgic for it because it was this chapter where. Oh, man, I really was so aware of my. It was the first time I really was like, I'm a woman on my own in the world. Because I was. I. Before that, I was living in a college dorm. So we lost our housing, and overnight I had to go and stay and go find a place to be. And so I just really remember feeling this overwhelming sense of pride. I was like, I'm really figuring this out. Like, I'm gonna get on. I'm gonna make it through this. I don't know who or how I'm gonna be or where I'm gonna be two years from now or a year from now. That uncertainty was terrifying.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I did know I was gonna be fine. I did know I was gonna be okay. I've just gotta get through this and keep my head down and make it through this time. And now I look back and I tap into that version of myself when I feel like I need to be brave. Cause I'm like, if I can do that, I can do anything.

[B]

Cause if we literally can recover from the entire world shutting down and building careers that we didn't like, we. We were not fast tracking to either of the ends that we know right now. Back then, this. It completely came up post Covid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So if we can do that and build this life in however many years, anything is possible.

[A]

Yeah. And I used to be so starved for human connection that I would sit in a bikini on my fire escape in the summer of that summer of COVID Yeah. And I would sit on the fire escape and I would talk to people walking beneath me on the sidewalk or guys that pull up. This one guy would always pull up with a super souped up car. And I had my bust down weave period. I looked cute. Okay. I would do a full face of makeup to go sit on that fire escape period. Like I was a princess holding court.

[B]

It keeps you.

[A]

I was the princess of Bed Stuy. And I would talk to people walking by, and there are people that would regularly come and talk to me in the corner. And this guy in the suped up car would come and be like, hey, Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair. And I'd be like, no, go away. Oh, God, what a time, what a time. What a time. Little. There was a guy named. What was his name? Not Little. Shorty. There's a guy named Shorty that I used to always talk to. He'd get my packages.

[B]

Not Little Shorty.

[A]

Shorty. I was like, what happened? A little. Oh, Shorty.

[B]

Hope he's well.

[A]

God bless you. What are you like?

[B]

D is. I know nothing about Brooklyn, so I can't even.

[A]

I will literally give my. Is it bad to give my old address? Shoshana, can I give my old address to a T? I know it to the top. I lived at 1982 Atlantic Avenue. 1982 Atlantic Avenue. Okay. I lived off the. I lived the. The Long island railroad. Would go buy the apartment and, like, shake it. And I lived on. I lived on Atlantic Avenue.

[B]

Oh, is that near Barclays?

[A]

Next to a Popeyes.

[B]

Delicious.

[A]

It was the first time I'd ever had Popeyes.

[B]

Girl, I gotta get you down to the south and have some real Popeyes. I'd like to give you sauce packets, little seasoning packets.

[A]

Oh, can't wait. Hold on. I'm gonna burp.

[B]

Is that spinach?

[A]

Popeyes. Oh, girl, not trace. Our producer just adds spinach guy.

[B]

Got to educate you. Or Popeye's chicken.

[A]

I get your thinking, but you're right. Popeye is the sailor.

[B]

Man, he would eat his glug, his spinach, and get muscles. That's true. That's Popeye.

[A]

But Popeyes.

[B]

But the Popeyes.

[A]

It's a fried chicken chain.

[B]

It's a Cajun chicken chain.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So good.

[A]

And I'm.

[B]

I love. So funny.

[A]

Our producer just asked if Popeyes was the spinach guy.

[B]

That's kind. Okay. Have you ever seen that video of the man who's blindfolded and they have, like, six different varieties of chicken, and.

[A]

He can figure out, why did Alex.

[B]

Send that to me and say, you would have no problems? I was like, I know I wouldn't. Two people sent that to.

[A]

And he knew the soda, too.

[B]

It's so me. Publix, chicken, Popeyes, kfc. I can taste and smell a chicken variety a mile away.

[A]

Of course, I like what's in the.

[B]

I love chicken.

[A]

I love chicken, too, but not as much as. I don't think as much as you. But I do love chicken.

[B]

I'm not beating them stereotypes any day of the week. No.

[A]

You're from the south, though. You know, as you once said, you know fried chicken.

[B]

I do know fried chicken.

[A]

As you always say.

[B]

It's like, I always say, I know chicken.

[A]

She knows chicken. Speaking of a time in our life when we were, like, introspective and feeling. Sometimes I feel like you have moments in your life when you feel yourself becoming a woman. I. I don't really know. I don't know if I'll feel that. I'm 28 now, but I've certainly had many moments. 21, 22, 23. These big moments of, like, I'm a woman in the. I'm in the world as Diana Ross.

[B]

Oh, I love Same day.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I mean.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Yes, Lord.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Me too. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I. I'm sorry we lost Tracy. Why'd I have to moan it like that, too?

[A]

That was Love me some d. Throw some Ds on it.

[B]

Throw some Ds on that. I love this.

[A]

Well, I guess we can end the episode there.

[B]

We will come back to that.

[A]

Anyway, you're feeling deep.

[B]

You're feeling introspective. Where do you go?

[A]

I got to take my wig off from that.

[B]

Does it hurt?

[A]

It's itching me.

[B]

Take her off.

[A]

All right. We had to take a quick wig removal break. I promise this won't happen again. We're just.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's getting warm out, and so it's getting warm in my house.

[B]

The hairlines get a little wet.

[A]

Yeah, Moist. But they're still here. As guests. It looks like we have two guinea pigs on the couch.

[B]

It does little squeaks. What did you say yesterday at dinner? Stop. That scares me.

[A]

That's sounding me.

[B]

It is. I can't do it.

[A]

Oh, I said the other day at dinner, I say I go for something. Rat indecision.

[B]

No, you were like, squeaks for solidarity or something.

[A]

I was like, rat solidarity. Rat sounds for solidarity.

[B]

That's what he said.

[A]

That's what it was. Rat sounds for solidarity. I love a little seen and heard by me.

[B]

What?

[A]

When I do that, I love it. My rat sounds solid, dirty. It just means, like, I get what you're saying.

[B]

Oh, my God. I thought of you this morning about our rats and roaches conversation. Because tell me why. I went to go walk out of my apartment this morning on the threshold of my door, the biggest roach I have ever seen, belly up, kicking.

[A]

I was going to tell you this because I didn't want you to judge me. I wasn't going to tell you this because I didn't want you judgment. Olivia. Yell it for the cameras. What did I call you about this morning? What did I call you? I was the first thing I said to you. Yeah. I found I came home from walking the dog where the door where humongous roach on its back in the sky. But the antennas were still kind of moving on my kitchen floor. I'm disgusting.

[B]

Don't do it.

[A]

And I called Olivia because I wanted to talk about something else, but I just had to tell. I did. Like, I had to confess it to someone because I was so embarrassed. It's embarrassing for me to have a roach in my house because it makes me feel like I'm dirty.

[B]

But it's New York, so even the cleanest of the clean, everybody has roaches. That's the problem. And so I said to myself, I'm not going to have a mental breakdown. I opened the door and was like, closed it back. Called Lanita, my mom, and said, we've got a problem. She said, what are you going to do? I said, I don't know. Burn the house down to start. What more can I do for you? I cannot take a roach. I can't take a roach. It's still there, most likely. I closed my eyes and, like, walked over the threshold and ran.

[A]

Just step on it.

[B]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you that. What am I supposed to do?

[A]

It's okay. Rat sounds. Solidarity.

[B]

I texted my superintendent.

[A]

I had a dream the other night that I came to your house and needed a tampon and you opened a drawer and there was a huge rat in the drawer and it was moving around.

[B]

I can take the rat. Give it a rat. I can't take the ropes.

[A]

I know. I'm starting to associate you with rat anything. Rat comfort.

[B]

Yeah. Like it makes you feel less afraid.

[A]

No, it's more so that you're okay with rats.

[B]

I am. You can call me if you got one of them. Call me.

[A]

Good to know. Because careful. I might take you up on it. Careful. Careful what you wish for. I'll film it. Because, girl, we have to lock back in.

[B]

We're here. Sorry.

[A]

We have to lock back in.

[B]

We're back. We're back. We're back.

[A]

Womanhood. What were some moments in your life that you have felt like? Man, I feel like a woman. Of just this. I don't know how else to explain it. It's almost existential. But I wonder. I think it's a moment every woman has when you start to feel really aware of the fact. Aware of your power. Also aware that you are no longer a.

[B]

A.

[A]

A child. Because I, at 28, still have moments and days where I'm like, I'm a kid. How did I get a credit card? I have days all the time where I'm like, I just feel like I'm still growing up. I feel that all the time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I also have moments where I'm.

[B]

Like, nope, locked in.

[A]

We are locked in. I'm awake.

[B]

Yeah. I'm a. I'm awake because I'm awake.

[A]

I'm a woman. What are some moments you've had?

[B]

The first time I'd say that I felt like a woman is dating now at 26, 27. Like, this is the first time that I'm feeling like a woman because I'm not dating young men. I'm not dating 22 year olds. I'm not. I'm not 22. Like, I'm not. I don't expect boyhood from my partner.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Therefore, I'm not giving girlhood.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To my partners. Right.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So. And with that being said, I feel grown finally for the first time. Because I'm seeing the world as how a woman would. A woman on a date would see the world. How a woman who lives by herself would see the world. Like, I have partners who would see my home. That's just my home. That's not. I live with a roommate. Roommate. Or live with my mom. Like, it's my space that I'm curating for myself. Yeah. Yeah. I would say it's it's in dating, which I kind of hate.

[A]

I think that's really cool. I envy you that I've never lived without a roommate before, even when I did long distance with my husband, which I'm so glad I did long distance. We did long distance for years. Another day. That's. That's another podcast for another day of why I think it's so good and so healthy if you and your partner can survive long distance. Yeah, you. You guys are locked in for the rest of time. Baby, baby. We'll come back to that. Trace. Trace, over here. She's doing long distance with her partner. You got it, babe. Trace, don't worry. Don't be scared. Don't be scared. Don't be scared. She's giggling. It's not funny.

[B]

She's like, I know, but.

[A]

But. I will say, but I've always had a roommate, but I think that is part of living in New York. But it's such an accomplishment that you live alone in New York City.

[B]

Our accountant Kelly was saying this the other day. I'm, like, lamenting the fact that I spend so much money on rent. But she's like, no, I wasn't lamenting the fact that I spend money on rent. I'm lamenting the fact that my lifestyle is just a little more expensive than I would think, even when it's paired back. And she's like, to be fair, you live alone, and that's amazing. That is a great accomplishment. And then I sat and was, like.

[A]

Not sharing the expenses with anyone.

[B]

No. And that's something to be proud of. I would not have imagined that at 26, that I'd be a woman living alone in New York City. Like, that's huge bananas, and I love every minute of it. But I will say, I do miss sometimes the girlhood of living with someone. Like, the experience. I do knocking on Tati's door and being like, you wanna sit on the couch? You wanna see?

[A]

I had a moment before I got married where I. Marriage is fun because it's like a big slumber party all the time. Like, we're always so fun, and we giggle and we have so much fun. But I did have a little moment when we were all getting ready on my wedding day. We were doing makeup together. I had this moment where I thought, I'm never gonna live with my girlfriends again. And I love living with girls. I love hanging out with the girls. With the girls. I love that so much. Maybe I'll be blessed with many daughters and I'll get it to have it again, but it's not the same. I loved in college, I lived with Tina, one of my really good friends. She's one of my bridesmaids. Big up to Tina.

[B]

We love you, Tina.

[A]

Go Tina. Go Tina. She's my only friend that I have to say it like that. Anyway, so Tina, she's. That's my girl Tina. She's from New York. She's from Long Island.

[B]

She's good.

[A]

She's that one. She says horrible in that exact accent.

[B]

It's horrible.

[A]

She goes, oh, Taryn, this is horrible.

[B]

You've got to go.

[A]

She was my first roommate and. And I lived with her for years. And I loved living with. With Tina. I love me some Tina. And. And I loved. I relished every moment of living with girls. I am sure there are people listening to this podcast that were like, I hated living with girls.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I once lived with seven girls. Wouldn't do that again.

[B]

Could never.

[A]

But would I live with one or two other girls?

[B]

Yes. It's nice to come home to a girly pop. Oh, my God.

[A]

I used to come home from my shift at the bar 2am and Tina looked just like us, a night owl. So she was wide awake watching charmed period, 1100th time period. And I'd come and I'd lean in the doorway and I'd be like, you're never going to believe. And you know those, you know when you live with girls and you have a language that you develop. So I could lean in the doorway and go, guess who was back tonight? And she'd go, not shrimp fingers. And I'll go, shrimp fingers. He was back at the bar.

[B]

The inside jokes. When you live with a gal, are you not even an inside joke to your point? Point. It becomes the language.

[A]

The language.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was just, I mean, I can't count how many times I would lay on the floor. We would literally lay on our floor together. I don't know how we ended up down there, but we would be laying on the floor looking at the ceiling, just talking and talking and talking. It felt like you were at summer camp. I love all the time. And I miss. And I love that I do. My husband goes to bed at 9. What the. Wake up.

[B]

Get up. But I will say it's good that he goes to bed late because we can stay overly as long as.

[A]

How many times have we been whisper laughing in this living room at 1am yeah. But I do, I do feel that I wonder. And if you're watching this, do you. Did you love living If You're a woman. Did you love living with women? Are you somebody who was like, I did not enjoy it. I much prefer to either live alone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you prefer living alone than living with roommates? It's okay. This is a safe space. You can say so.

[B]

I toggle back and back and forth between the two. But I would say most of the time I prefer living alone. Yeah. Yeah. Because when I want. Don't be. I wouldn't be embarrassed about that. Maybe you'll have your moms.

[A]

You gonna get divorced.

[B]

That's twice today I've said something fucking crazy.

[A]

Maybe.

[B]

Maybe you'll have your moment in the space. I meant it as if. Maybe you'll have a separate bedroom one day. That could feel like your. Your Diva Dome. Doug Demodome of the Dimmesdale Dimmadomedome.

[A]

Owner of the Diva Demodomes.

[B]

Owner of the Diva Demodomes. That's what I was trying to say. My bad, my boy.

[A]

My breast is about to come out of the dress. That's okay.

[B]

You got her.

[A]

That happens a lot.

[B]

I simply meant okay. Maybe you won't have your moment, actually. But I don't know, you can always come over to my house.

[A]

I love coming over to your house because it does feel like a diva dome.

[B]

It is. Maybe I have to change the name.

[A]

It's so fun.

[B]

Its first name was lady hq, but it hasn't been sticking. Diva Dome is hilarious.

[A]

Diva Dome is gonna stick forever.

[B]

I gotta get a neon sign to all my baby girls listening to this.

[A]

If you live alone, just know, girl, you're in the Diva dome.

[B]

You have a diva dome.

[A]

You have a Diva Dome Dun. Diva Dome Owner, the Dem Sales Diva Dome.

[B]

Deb demidome. It's Deb.

[A]

Deb demidomedome. Damn. I'm jealous of you. If you live alone. That is so cool.

[B]

You can come over to my house.

[A]

Well, you know, Jennifer Lewis talks about how she's been married.

[B]

So does Cheryl Lee Ralph.

[A]

And. And. Or not. She's not been married. She's been engaged four times.

[B]

Hell, well.

[A]

But she talks about, you know, separation of partners and living alone. As you should well know at this point, Soapbox is presenting this week's episode, which is so much fun because you know that I love soapbox products. I love the smell.

[B]

It's giving.

[A]

They smell so good. I'm holding the bottle right now. Listen to this. Oh, yeah, that's good.

[B]

Which one do you have?

[A]

Diva Diva. I have the Coconut and Shea Deep Moisture Conditioner. Yummy.

[B]

I've got the Mane Tamer Leave in conditioner for weightless hydration.

[A]

Ooh. Oh, yeah. I like your advice. Weightless hydration.

[B]

For weightless hydration.

[A]

Weightless hydration. And also nourishes, softens, moisturizes, and it really does. And I also love this. The smell is strong in the way that you really smell and enjoy it in the shower. And then when you get out, the whole bathroom smells good. My skin smells good with the body wash. My hair smells good with the hair wash. Everything's good. Everything's good. But at the same time, it's really good on sensitive skin.

[B]

I love it because it has no harsh ingredients or chemicals, so it's really fabulous. Like you said, on skin, on hair. My hair is. She's dry, she's thirsty.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She needs some help.

[A]

Oh, yeah, me too.

[B]

But Soapbox got her covered, babe.

[A]

Yeah. And she's cruelty free, which is always a bonus.

[B]

Don't forget that you can check Soapbox out at Target and other retailers nationwide.

[A]

Thanks so much for listening to the ad break.

[B]

I think that I. I can't. I mean, I can't say it'll all depend on the partner, but I am a large. A big advocate for separate spaces in the home. In marriage. I think that'll work best for me, personally.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

I think I will live like the kings and queens of yore and have my own separate bedroom. Separate bedroom, everything. And then when we want to have our moments, we'll come together. But I. I'm learning the older that.

[A]

I get on the intercom. Honey, Honey, would you like to have a moment?

[B]

Correct. We'd love a.

[A]

Mom, I have five minutes exactly.

[B]

I don't know. I'm. I'm open to it, certainly more than ever. I like Whoopi Goldberg. Says the reason why she wasn't married is because she don't want no man in her damn house. Quote, unquote.

[A]

I love Whoopi Goldberg.

[B]

So I'm open to be married, but I definitely don't want no damn man in my house. Quote, unquote.

[A]

I understand it, but I love having. I mean, I obviously, like, whatever. Whatever.

[B]

But I love my husband.

[A]

Whatever.

[B]

We love. And I love coming to your house and seeing you and Alec chilling or you and husband chill on the couch and have a cute time. And I love, love seeing that. I really do. It warms my heart.

[A]

I mean, but. I mean, that works best. But I'll admit. I'll admit. I'll admit you're. You're doing something that I haven't done. And I like watching you do It. It's having the Diva Dome.

[B]

The Diva dome.

[A]

It's Tiffany's World. It's your personal space, and I think that's so cool. And seeing my girlfriends that have roommates like Tati, you know, it's. Oh, it is fun. It's cute to. To go over and see them with their inside jokes or, like, they cook together.

[B]

Yeah, that's cute.

[A]

So I think if you have the right roommate, it's probably your fault, though. I have heard so many horror stories.

[B]

Oh, girl, I've got plenty.

[A]

There are people in the studio reacting to that, and a lot of people have horror stories. Oh, why are you nodding? There are some vigorous nods.

[B]

Okay, wait, is that a canon universal experience?

[A]

What are you, a cow?

[B]

A cow?

[A]

What?

[B]

Is that a canon universal experience that we have all had some kind of horrible roommate? Okay.

[A]

But I. I don't know if I can tell the story. I mean, she doesn't watch the podcast.

[B]

Well, don't be too specific, because now I want to know.

[A]

Not my fault.

[B]

I didn't do it.

[A]

Remember how I told you I had seven roommates?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I wish Tina was here. She tells the story better. No, when Tina and I first phone her in, had one of the apartments together, and we had multiple roommates. There's this one girl who was beefing with another girl, so I gotta say, I wasn't part of this beef. It was. It was this. Living in this house is like living in bad girls club. It was crazy.

[B]

I used to love the bad girls club.

[A]

I was the oldest by. By a century. It often felt like at 22 years old, I was 23. Actually, I was 23. And they were all. Me and Tina were both, pardon me, 24. And the gals in the house were all 18 or 19 years old.

[B]

That's a big difference.

[A]

I am sure they've all grown up and there are different people now, but I got to live with a bunch of these gals who. My God. My God. The. I. All right, let me get focused. There are two girls that were really close. Me and Tina, obviously, were the closest, and we shared a room. And these two girls were on other ends of the hall, either ends of the hall of each other. And I remember there was even a moment that they liked each other so much that they were considering, like, moving in rooms together. But they both had their own rooms, which is a flex in the dorm situation.

[B]

Love it.

[A]

We had, like, a suite. So, like, they were like, nah, we're gonna do our own rooms. But they started going out together all the time they would come home, and I'd be coming home from the bar, you know, because I'd finished my shift, and they were coming home to the same as me from the bars, but they were having fun, not working. And now that I look back, they weren't going to bars because they. I don't think they were 21. I think they were coming back from, like, parties. They're going out to house party.

[B]

Just a little house moment.

[A]

Thank you. Doesn't matter. It doesn't really matter. My God, I can draw out a story. So it doesn't matter. The point is, one night. One night, I come home from the bars. These girls come in, and we had heard. No, hold on. Let me get it. Let me get it. Let me get it. Let me. Let me rock back. I come home for the bars, and there's my sweet, darling wife, Tina, and she's sitting at the dinner table waiting for me. And I said, oh, because we want to talk about my. How my night went. And I said, I lean against the counter, and we're having a chat about how my night went. And God, I hope it's okay. I tell the story. I mean, it's fine. It's a crazy story. And I'm making tea, and one of the girls comes in, and we go, hey. We do our roommate pleasantries because your ship's passing in the night.

[B]

Good to see you.

[A]

And I ask, where is so and so the one? Because you guys are close. And she goes, oh, we're not cool anymore. Oh, well, I hate to pry, but if you're so inclined to let me know.

[B]

You with a crowbar.

[A]

What's. I hate to pry? Me with a crowbar. Hate to pry. But of course I want to know, what's the tea? She goes on to tell a story about a dispute over something. To be honest, Tiffany was dumb.

[B]

What?

[A]

And often, why do girls beef over dumb things?

[B]

Dumb things. And it escalates into something it don't need to be.

[A]

And it didn't need to be all that. And I remember listening to this thinking, oh, surely your friendship will recover, because this is silly. I think it had to do with money or something like, you know, something that transpired of fairness. But I remember thinking. And I said to her at the time, oh, I hope. I hope you guys work it out. She's like, I don't think we will. We're not doing well.

[B]

No.

[A]

She really calmly was telling me the story. But at the end of the hall of the suite, boom. Door opens. Pow. I hear, y'all talking about me. I'm sitting there. I wasn't talking about you.

[B]

You stirring your tea.

[A]

I am mighty. Hey, I'm a pacifist. I wasn't talking about you. I was just. I was asking a couple journalistic questions. I need everyone in the audience to know I've never fought in my life.

[B]

Never thrown a hand.

[A]

Never thrown a hand.

[B]

I'm not sure why I asked you like that.

[A]

You've never thrown a hand, Never fought in my life. Don't plan to.

[B]

I don't want the smoke. I really don't.

[A]

I don't want the smoke. I. And I don't feel any shame saying that. So when she comes charging down the hall, I hear y'all bitches talking about me. I was like, oh, let's all calm down, ladies, and have a nice, civilized discussion. That wasn't happening. Now, homegirl, she turns and she was like, we weren't. I was just telling them what happened between us. And she is like, I want to tell my side of the story this quickly. De. Escalates. No, escalates. Not D. No deer. I love the D, but I love the D. No D. Here, though. It's only escalation. It escalates. And we can see they're really starting to raise their voices. And I remember, again, I just got home from work from the bars I have to see. I already broke up a bar fight tonight. I don't want any bird fight in the house.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Come on, girls. And that was always, always how I feel. I'm my. I'm like. I feel like an old woman in my. In my bonnet. I'm like, girls, girls. And I remember their voice. The more I tried to deescalate it, the more their voices, they became more and more frantic. And I remember, and I remember very clearly, I had to make a statement about this later.

[B]

Oh. Oh, yeah. It made it.

[A]

The one who had initially come down the hall, like, she was just looking for a fight. She, like, bucked, like, put, like, was like, what? And, like, stepped towards the other gal.

[B]

You've got to step up to the challenge.

[A]

The other gal point wasn't one to be like, you know, she's not a doormat. She was like, hey, now. I would have cowered.

[B]

Ah, please.

[A]

I would have been like, whoa. Did you just buck me? I am not knock if you buck.

[B]

I'm not knocking. Please don't buck.

[A]

Please don't buck. Anyway, so I stepped between the two girls, and I basically was like. And I'm like, hey, remember, I went, stop. I thought that was going to do something. Hey, stop, girls. And there was a beat of silence. And then the one that started it, continued it. She goes in and she grabs Homegirl by her hair. It sounded like a room of feral cats. You put them in a box and you shook it up.

[B]

Shook it up.

[A]

I didn't know which way was up. I felt like I was in Avengers. And I got put into a portal because you know what happened, Tiffany? I got locked between them.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

It was like being stuck in a hurricane.

[B]

So Homegirl throws hands back.

[A]

Yeah. So she defends herself. And now. Now they're going in. Have you ever seen two cats go.

[B]

Just the little swat with their little swats. I'm between them catching strays.

[A]

I'm going, stop.

[B]

Back. Where is Tina?

[A]

Tina's like, this is the table. She got her hands on her face. She looked like Macaulay Culkin. And home alone, she was just like. And she's going, stop. And then I remember Tina. Somewhere over the fray goes. I'm calling the R.A. i'm so logical. We're moving through the kitchen now. And I'm. My dumb ass. I'm going, you're hurting each other. You're hurting each other.

[B]

I don't give a rat's ass.

[A]

I kept trying to. I remember one of them. She had her. She had a home girl now. Oh. The other girl had just gotten her braids done fresh. And she knew this, so she yanked on her braids. And I had known, cuz she was just telling me how sore her head was in the braids. So I actually was trying to pry her claws. I was like, finger by finger, like, you've got to stop. She just got her. Her scalp is sensitive and she had really long nails. So anyways. And I just like, stop. You're hurting each other. And I remember just being. I could not pull myself out from between the two girls. But also, I kind of didn't want to because I wanted to try to break up the fight. And I was doing a miserable job breaking it up. Long story short, the fight eventually ends. It's probably no more than two minutes. And she. And she's like. She walked back down the hall and slams the door. And this girl walks back down the hall and slams the door, and it's all very tearful and everyone's very upset. I had a red scratch mark across my chest. I looked like I just come out of a dog.

[B]

Tiger King.

[A]

Yes. I was like, whoa. Anyway, so then the RA comes and then all of a sudden, campus Security comes. Then the cops go, oh, no, I didn't call him. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I've got this handled. That's fine. I think I did a pretty good job myself. Look, I'm like, fuck. More fucked up than anybody. So anyways, I tried to break up a fight. Didn't do well. And I remember from that day on, I was like, I will never live with this many girls again.

[B]

Absolutely not.

[A]

But I will also say, in the right company, living with girls can be wonderful. That just was a crazy. That was an outlier.

[B]

It was college, too, I guess. I'm not saying that's people's college experiences, but maybe living with girls in college, I feel, is so different than living with women girls when you're an adult.

[A]

Yeah, I would say so. But that was. That's like the only time in my whole life that I've even been involved. I wasn't in a fight. I was trying to break up a fight and I. You were in it, and I. Well, in the middle of it, I feel like I was in the movie Twister and I was a storm chaser.

[B]

Right in the middle of frame.

[A]

Anyways, I still follow one of the gals. Oh, and. And she's lovely.

[B]

Hope she's well.

[A]

I hope she's well, too. You know what happens?

[B]

It sure does.

[A]

They settled it like women. I mean, like I say, they settle it like men. I don't know. One of them had to move out. So they met. They made her move out, which was great because it was 10. I can. To say the least. Tension the next morning were high. I went and grabbed my Pop Tarts out of the cabinet. I hit them. I was like, I don't know what to do the morning after a fight that I've been in one. But I do know I need to hide my Pop Tarts at the very least. Have you ever been involved in a fight?

[B]

I have never been. I'm trying to think. A physical altercation.

[A]

Actually, you don't have to tell if you don't want to.

[B]

No, I don't think I've ever been involved in a fight. And if I did, I blocked it from my memory.

[A]

Honestly, I'm mad that I was even part of that one. I should have. Wrong place, wrong time.

[B]

Wrong place, wrong time. What can you say? The one. I guess the one fight fight that I've been in was with my sister. I hit her in a Walmart parking lot. Why?

[A]

What you do?

[B]

I. It was me. I was being annoying and Taylor got Fed up. And she pushed me and I was like. And I went in. But then she beat my ass. So it did not turn out well in my life.

[A]

So my thing is, I have only brothers. I am the youngest and I have three older brothers. I love hearing sisters talk about the sister squabble. Sisters. Or just like, what it's like to have a sister.

[B]

I loved growing up in the house.

[A]

That is the only thing I would ever change. And I would love to have had a sister sister.

[B]

Oh, but that's why you're such a good friend. Is because you. You're giving your sister energy to all of them.

[A]

I think you're such a good friend because you've had sisters.

[B]

I was mean to my sister, though, so.

[A]

But you're not anymore. Now you're close.

[B]

Not anymore. Now we're homies. But Taylor, who. She does watch every episode.

[A]

Love you, Taylor Time.

[B]

We love you, Tay.

[A]

You were a mean little sister.

[B]

Oh, I was the meanest little sister. I was spoiled, though, so that's why. But I. And Taylor was. I was just dominant. And she's very cool and level headed and very even keeled. And I'm the complete opposite.

[A]

And I figured mom is like that. Your mom is cool and never had for sure.

[B]

And I was just this tornado that terrorized all of us at any given moment. My. Yeah, I was fudgeing crazy. Sorry to everyone involved in my teenage years. But I will say I loved having a sister. Taylor. I laugh with Taylor. Like, I don't laugh with anyone else. The inside jokes go cuckoo bananas. Like, she's, that's my girl. No one gets you like a sister gets you.

[A]

It's what I envy is the security of a sister friendship. That, like, it's so cool that, like, you guys can more than anyone, like, because I know, I feel it with my siblings, my brothers, which is like, no matter what fight we get in or what disagreement we get in, there's a level of security in that we are family.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm not going anywhere no matter what. Like, you literally can't get rid of them.

[B]

There's.

[A]

There's this unspoken tether between.

[B]

Second to your relationship with your mother is a relationship with a sister. I would say yes in the very same way. Because having, like, the relationship with the dad is different because it's, you know, we're women having relationships with dad. It's just different. I won't say why. It just is what it is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But with our moms, we know, like, that's mom. Like, mom's ride until the brakes fall off. And it's very similar, I would say, to having a relationship with a sister. But I do know on the flip side, many women who have very tough relationships with their sisters and they would not agree and say that a sister relationship is one that, that if it's salty and doesn't go well, you can sure move.

[A]

Fair enough. Yeah, you're right.

[B]

Because on the other hand, your sister is the only person who grew up with you and who, like, very similarly knows your lived experiences. So if they're not treating you well, then you're right. Why would you excuse that?

[A]

I think I've likely romanticized in a lot of ways all sister relationships because even when someone's like, I have a difficult relationship with my sister, there is a part of me that's like, ah, but like, what must that be like to have that?

[B]

To have a sister?

[A]

Yeah, I always really wanted one. I love my brothers and I love being a sibling. But it is different to only have brothers in that way. But at the same time, like, what I love about having siblings is. I don't know how to explain. Anyway, there isn't. For me, I feel an intangible tether to other people on this earth that are my similar age. Right. So, like, I'm gonna get to have them my whole life. And I hope we get to have each other our whole lives. And it's just so nobody can under ever understand where you come from, your roots, your DNA, like a sibling does. And it's like my greatest joy. My greatest joy in my family is certainly one of my greatest joys. I have so many joys. I love being an aunt too. I love having a niece. But one of my greatest joys is having my brothers. Yeah, I wish I could extend that to a sister.

[B]

Oh, to a sister. Maybe.

[A]

I have a long lost one. I always fantasize I have a long.

[B]

A long lost.

[A]

Maybe she's watching right now. Twin. Twins, girl, reach out. I probably will think you're crazy. So maybe don't probably be like, you're not my sister. But what if you are?

[B]

Send me a DNA test you're quantifying or qualifying this.

[A]

Prove it. And then we'll be sister.

[B]

That's funny. Well, yeah, I. Yeah, I would. I would hammer down on what I said earlier. That's why you're such a good friend, because you give so much sister love to your girls.

[A]

Well, thank you. I think you're. I feel the same that you give really good sister love. No, but I'll Admit I envy. I envy the. The sisterhood one. And I feel like I've tried to create that in my friendships. I want us to be sisters.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I recognize. And you don't have. You don't deny it. It's okay. I recognize that I can. Because you actually have a sister. Hurts. I can never be in that role. It hurts. It hurts me. It hurts me.

[B]

No, no, no, no. Well, that goes back to what I said earlier. I think I know different people feel filled different roles. I don't need another sister because I have plenty, but I do need a best friend.

[A]

Yeah, whatever.

[B]

Yeah, whatever.

[A]

Let's just keep the podcast and I guess.

[B]

Oh, I love you.

[A]

Tap. TAP SQUEAKS OF solidarity RAP SQUEAKS OF SOLIDARITY Our producer's throwing out that. We're talking. Our producer just threw out that in female relationships she has. Feels a certain type of way sometimes about the overuse of I love you. Because if there's someone you know, that you just feel like they love everybody.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Does it lessen their. The earnestness of their I love you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In the. In a friendship, I will say it's.

[B]

Crossed my mind a time or two for sure. When I'm making new friends, when I'm loved bomb in a new friendship, it means less to me. What?

[A]

I'm like, oh, guilty as child.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no.

[A]

I know what you mean, though, because I know what you mean. I know what you're saying, you know.

[B]

Because it means less. I take love so seriously. So I'm like, okay, for me to get to the point of saying I love you to a homie, like, we really. I love you like, you're my dude. You're my dog, my dude. I don't just say that to my boy. You my boy.

[A]

Boy.

[B]

You my.

[A]

You my boy.

[B]

I crack my neck.

[A]

That's how I feel.

[B]

That's what it meant. So, yes, I. I interrogate that all the time. I'm like, okay.

[A]

You know, I struggle with this because I interrogate it too, and I feel the same.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I. Not to sound like I'm going to sound like a total hippie. I really love when I meet someone and I spend more than five minutes with them, I actually want to be like, I love you. Like, I want to say it. Like, I want them to know because I love them. Now, granted, the love is different.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's. There is a love that I feel like for you, for people in this room that goes much deeper than somebody I've only known for a month or two. Yeah, right. Of course it's natural. But at the same time, man, I do. Like, when I. There are so many times that I meet somebody and I walk away from them, I just. I don't know how else to identify how I feel.

[B]

I would agree, too.

[A]

Then. Just, like, I just want you to know that I love you.

[B]

I care so deeply for you, and love is really all we have to say.

[A]

I don't. Yeah, I don't have a better word. I enamor you. I'm enamored with you for. No, that's not good. Because enamored suggests, like, I'm obsessed for a moment, and it's shallow.

[B]

Yeah. But there's a difference maybe between saying I love you and love you, because I'm quick to be like, oh, love you, girl. Like, I love you a girly pop for the first time. Love you. Like, I went on a girls trip this weekend, and by the end of it, it was love you for all the girls, but I love you for the best friend that I was there for, you know?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right. And I. I'm worried now, but I'm not worried. I'm glad we're having this conversation because maybe I should interrogate it a little bit more. Like, I don't want my I love you to be less.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. At all. But at the same time, I mean that shit. Like, I really do. I take it really hard. We'll talk about it. Cause we're talking about womanhood. It's only happened a couple times, but I take it really hard when someone who comes into my life, we're cool. I'm like, I love you. I care about you. Even though we've only known each other a month, I'm glad that we're friends. And then because it's a friendship in its infancy, maybe I've offended them or I've made a mistake. I take it so hard when somebody comes into my life and I'm like, yep, I love you. I'm so happy to be your friend. And then a couple of things happened. One, we just drift. Or two, I must have said something or done something. And I, like, notice that they're not following me on Instagram anymore. Or, like, I notice that, like, they're following, but it dies off there. Now I'm just reaching out to them, right? I'm just checking in on them. They no longer check in on me. And. And a part of me wants to text them and be like, did I do something? But then I'm like, I don't sound desperate. Like, don't sound crazy. Just let it go. Yeah, I love when I can hear. I love. Know if I love it. I hear people on podcasts talk about a lot. Anyone that doesn't want to. Anyone that removes themself from your life, let them. Mel Robbins talks a lot about, like, the let them theory.

[B]

Let them.

[A]

That's great. And that's super evolved. Show me how I can't let anyone go. Ouch. It hurts so bad. Mel. Mel, help me. I love the idea. I get it. That's very evolved. Let them. Let. If someone doesn't want to be in your life, let them go. If somebody doesn't see your value, then they didn't deserve you in the first place. I get it. I get what you're saying.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But what if I could just maybe make them see my value? Because I love it so much. A little bit.

[B]

Oh, I'm too good at it.

[A]

Rat squeaks of love. But I recognize that that's. Honestly, that's coming from. If I'm gonna be really real right now, I think that's coming from a child, childish part of me that still lives. There's that little kid in me that wants to be liked and wants to be liked and wants to be loved. Yeah, I recognize. Oh, man.

[B]

I'm getting going in.

[A]

You guys are getting a lot.

[B]

This is good.

[A]

It is what it is. I think that's a childhood part of me that I don't know if I can heal or maybe I just need to talk to her a little bit more. I don't know.

[B]

Yeah. Give her some love.

[A]

But you're like. You're saying, you know, you're good at it. If somebody doesn't want to be your.

[B]

Friend, you're like, okay, but equally similar to you. I'm a. I want love and approval and affection, and I'm a little too driven by it, for sure. But for whatever reason, in friendships, that's an area that I'm getting stronger in because I just as equally. Just as much as I want love and affection and validation from people, I do not want to beg for it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So if you're gone, you won't catch me chasing you. I'm not a chaser.

[A]

Fair enough. It doesn't feel good to beg for it. I have recently been in that position, and I. It doesn't make me feel good about myself. It feels. I feel embarrassed.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like, I'm like, why am I, like, chasing you down to be my friend? What is wrong with me?

[B]

And then I've learned when you let them go, they don't come back. So it's like, if I.

[A]

Sure. Yeah. Yep. Are you really sure? Yeah.

[B]

Ouch. Yep. They do not come back. So then my. My theory is further proved. Begging would not have changed anything. It just would have made me feel like shit that I was begging you to love me when you were gonna stay gone anyway.

[A]

Yeah. You know, I wonder. Anyone watching? Do you? What?

[B]

Be gone, baby.

[A]

Be gone. Anyone watching this? Have you. Have you mastered the if you don't want to be in my life, then bye? Or can you. Is. Can anyone commiserate with me?

[B]

That. That's because I feel bad that I can't commiserate.

[A]

No, don't feel bad. I would say I don't. I feel like not a lot of people feel the way that I do, which is I. I really struggle with it. And I think this is me revealing a really insecure part of myself. And so that's what it is. I think I'm really insecure here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love. I love people. I want them to love me. But I also need to let this go because it doesn't mean anything bad about me if you don't love me. Right.

[B]

It doesn't.

[A]

It's okay. We're just not a match or whatever.

[B]

Now, I will say I can let them go, but the existential crises that comes afterwards, that's what I'm still working on.

[A]

Like, why don't. Why don't you like me?

[B]

Correct. And you've seen that play out, like, with the friendships that have ended without saying, and I didn't chase.

[A]

And.

[B]

And they never came back. That hurts. I'm still hurting over those. And that then bleeds into romantic relationships, my existing friendships. So I don't want to come off as like, I got it together.

[A]

Because I'm saying everything you're saying to the audience. She's not lying. You do handle it far better than I do. You are good at it. You are better at it than me. And I think that you are. You are more secure in yourself in this area than I am for sure. That's why I be chasing you around, Just chasing you.

[B]

You don't chase me. I don't think you chase me.

[A]

I would zip tie you to my arm if I could. Tiffany, I love you. Please love me back.

[B]

And I'll say this. You ain't got to chase me.

[A]

Cause I'm right there.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm there. Okay. I ain't going nowhere. I love you too. Olivia's in the house, too. Hey, Olivia. I love you.

[B]

We love you. I love you, Bobby.

[A]

I love you, baby. Sit down, Ms. Houston. Love you, Shoesh. Love you, Trish.

[B]

We love you, Shoesh. We love you, too.

[A]

And that's not a flippin I love you. It's a real I love you. But I really would. In the YouTube comments on this one, I promise you guys. I'm gonna come and watch. If you've made it this far. Thanks for watching all the way through. If you. I read the YouTube comments every single episode. I hope you know that. We both do.

[B]

We go through.

[A]

I would love to kind of. I would really love some commiseration on this. I would love to hear. How do you get to that place of like. Like you're really cool with people that don't want to be in your life, that remove themselves or don't want to be your friend. I would love to hear, like, how you got to that place of security and if you struggle with it, too, come have a little wine and a cry with me. Let's have a cry together. Obviously, we're just in our back today.

[B]

Just in it.

[A]

Okay. That girl. Love you.

[B]

I was gonna try to. I don't know what you said.

[A]

Next week is our special edition book club episode.

[B]

We're so excited. I hope y'all have been keeping up and reading. Because we have.

[A]

Because we have.

[B]

We're on it.

[A]

We can't wait.

[B]

And we're excited to chat about it.

[A]

All about the book and say the name of the book one more time.

[B]

One more time for all those at home. Quicksilver by Callie Hart. As I read, you still have time to catch up if you're a quick reader. We're talking about it next month. Jesus.

[A]

We're talking about it next week.

[B]

We're talking about it next week. Gonna be good.

[A]

All right. Love you guys. Oh, and also, I don't know if we have to say this, but try not to spoil in the comments about the book. If you're. If you're farther ahead than other people. What? Be a team player. Diva, Diva in your diva dome Dome. Be a diva. Be a diva in your diva dome. All right. Love you. And remember, we're your girls. Cause we're your girl. Hey.

[B]

Cause I like how you do. Wear youe Girls is hosted and executive produced by Taryn Delaney Smith and Tiffany Singleton Management by Social Media. Produced by Good Mess Media. Follow us on all platforms at wearyourgirlspod. To wrap this baby up, thank you so much to our partners at Soapbox. We love you go ahead and upgrade your healthy hair routine. Take care of your hair divas.

[A]

Don't forget to check them out at Target and other retailers nationwide.