Outrageous

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We're Your Girls" – Episode: "Outrageous"

Host: Good Mess Media
Date: September 13, 2025

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Overview

"Outrageous" is a vibrant, laughter-filled episode of "We're Your Girls," featuring the effortlessly natural banter between two best friends as they explore the small absurdities and relatable hilarity of life. The episode meanders through topics such as musical obsessions, wardrobe upgrades, animal encounters, bug phobias, wild neighborhood tales, and the odd rituals of American culture—with signature candor, warmth, and off-the-cuff comedy. If you've ever needed a reminder that life’s messiness is best tackled with your ride-or-die, this episode—overflowing with memorable stories and outrageous asides—is for you.

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Main Discussion & Key Moments

1. Britney Spears Obsession & Musical Fixations

Timestamps: 01:28–02:34

• The episode's title nods to "Outrageous" by Britney Spears, a deep cut that’s become an obsession for Host A.
• Quote: “Winston hate to see me coming because when I get home, immediately Alexa play Outrageous by Britney and I'm dancing for hours.” — Host A (01:58)
• Host B relates, acknowledging her own tendency to ruin songs by over-listening.

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2. Fashion Talk: Fall Wardrobes and Compliment-Induced Shopping

Timestamps: 02:38–04:25

• Host B unveils a new purchase, describing the thrill of being showered with compliments by a store employee—leading to an impulsive buy.
• Humorous attempts at fall wardrobe building and banter about belts, bras, and the confidence boosts of sartorial praise.
• Quote: “At that point, we're done. And when I walked in, he said, by the way, you're stunning. My nipples got hard at that point.” — Host B (03:58)

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3. Everyday Glamour: Little Rituals from Earrings to Heels

Timestamps: 05:25–06:45

• Reflections on the small things that make one feel put together—Host A never leaving the house without earrings, even foregoing brushing teeth for it.
• Shared stories of their mothers’ fashion habits and the impact on their own perceptions of adulthood.
• Quote: “If you see me coming from a distance, she's got earrings on, she's put together.” — Host A (06:36)

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4. Animal Tales: Raising Chickens and Facing Fears

Timestamps: 07:56–11:14

• Host B recounts her new love for chickens, despite a lifelong fear of birds, and the process of naming each chicken—special affection for Princess Diana and Blackie.
• Ups and downs of animal caretaking, including the inconveniences and comedy of bird poop and the trials of gathering eggs.
• Quote: “They unsettle me. Especially pigeons. They are. They're unsettling. The way their heads cock like this. They're very exorcisty.” — Host B (07:56)
• The segment ends with laughter over chickens’ personalities and neighborly bonds being forged.

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5. Confessions of Phobias: Bugs, Birds & Surviving the Wild

Timestamps: 12:13–18:27

• Spirited exchange on bug phobias, specifically spiders and centipedes, and the measures each takes to deal with unwanted critters.
• Quote: “I have a zero tolerance policy. Ditto if you are an insect in my home. Death penalty.” — Host B (16:51)
• One host tells a dramatic story about summoning her neighbor—and almost a man from 40 minutes away—to remove a bug (19:12–26:52).
• The recurring “don’t piss me off” catchphrase emerges here, flagged as potential future tombstone material (33:06).

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6. Southern Childhood & Wild Neighbors: Iguanas and Gators

Timestamps: 13:00–15:19

• Host A, who grew up in South Florida, shares humorous anecdotes about growing up surrounded by iguanas and peacocks, as well as regular sightings of alligators.
• Striking contrast to Host B’s experience, who finds it all exotic and a bit terrifying.

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7. American Culture & Sports Fandom

Timestamps: 30:00–35:54

• Playful critique of sports rituals, the over-the-top energy at NFL games, and an affectionate ribbing of mascots, stadium traditions, and the men in their lives.
• Quote: “This is the most bizarre, fanatical, illogical obsession of our culture. The amount of money spent and the amount of money alone is just insane to me.” — Host B (31:24)

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8. Existential Musings: Would You Leave Earth for a New World?

Timestamps: 36:21–40:52

• Contemplation of whether they'd board a spaceship to colonize a new planet, referencing “Don’t Look Up” and other sci-fi tales.
• Ultimately, both agree: no way they're leaving family, dogs, or creature comforts behind.
• Quote: “I would make the first Caesar's palace and then have a residency. There’d be almost no competition. … I'd be a star in the new world.” — Host B (38:41)

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9. Airline Rants and Flying Faux Pas

Timestamps: 42:12–47:28

• Cathartic and comedic rants about various airlines, especially Alaska Airlines and Spirit, plus odes to Emirates and Aer Lingus.
• Memorable moment: Host B’s impassioned, escalating takedown of Alaska Airlines, and both hosts’ observations about “reject armpit” airport terminals and ancient planes.
• Quote: “Alaska Airlines, you can kiss my ass. You got four planes that never work. You canceled my mom's flight and I had to rebook her on Delta. God damn it. … You don't even have a first class. It's just the jumper seats in the front.” — Host B (44:08)

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10. Everyday Messes: Sweat, Panties, and Church Announcements

Timestamps: 47:43–52:13

• The show closes with unfiltered realness about crotch sweat, the mysteries of glove-compartment panties, and mock “church announcements” celebrating the quirks of community life.
• Roasts of local church personalities, brawling Deacons, and fish fry logistics cement the tone of friendly association and relatable chaos.
• Quote: “Today in service, Deacon Brown and Deacon Larry were spotted brawling. Brawling in the parking lot at the Dollar General … Sit down, y’all. Get it together. This is a good house.” — Host A (53:05)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On obsession: “If we're gonna be obsessed, it will be months.” — Host A (02:26)
• On chickens: “My favorite is a white one named Princess Diana.” — Host B (08:51)
• On everyday fears: “None of them are good bugs. … I have a zero tolerance policy.” — Host B (16:51)
• On sports rabidness: “Grown men with their shirts off in the middle of winter, painted crazy colors, hooting and hollering and smelling and spilling their beer.” — Host B (30:47)
• On preparing for the future: “Mausoleum sign of the top. Diva Dome, Diva Dome, Diva Dome.” — Host B (46:46)

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Episode Flow & Tone

This episode is effortlessly conversational—loose, unscripted, and darting playfully from one outrage to the next. The energy is warm, irreverent, and deeply relatable, balancing humor, heart, and the ridiculous in equal measure. The hosts are experts in making any topic—from flight delays to chicken rearing—a hilarious, communal affair. Their comfort with each other and their audience radiates in every beat.

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Final Thoughts

"Outrageous" perfectly embodies the spirit of "We're Your Girls": real talk, shared vulnerabilities, infectious laughter, and a life-affirming reminder that we’re all a little messy, a little magical, and very much in need of our girls. Whether you’re terrified of bugs, trying to revamp your wardrobe, or just seeking connection in your own chaos—this episode will leave you smiling.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

Don't chew on that, Max.

[B]

Cooper loves that chew too.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Because we're your girl hey. Cause I like how you do well how you doing?

[A]

Good to see you.

[B]

We made it through another week. Look at that.

[A]

Look what the cat drug is.

[B]

I tell you. I want to see what you. Hi. Hi. How are you? I've missed you so much, girl.

[A]

What's going on?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I got my phone on my lap. You know what song I've had stuck in my head? Outrageous by Britney Spears. Do you know that song?

[B]

Weirdly, I know most of her discography. Why do I not know this?

[A]

This is on what's a deep cut. It's on the in the Zone album. Do you know the album where she's like, in the blue and she's like, really hot and sexy? Yeah. Fun Fact. One of her first albums produced by nearly all black team, which is why it's so fucking good, obviously. But it goes like, outrageous when I'm on my body, Outrageous when I'm mad. I'm mad.

[B]

Okay? I know it, girl. Yeah.

[A]

I have been. Winston, hate to see me coming because when I get home, immediately Alexa play Outrageous by Britney and I'm dancing for hours.

[B]

It's so annoying.

[A]

In the zone. It's been on my mind.

[B]

I get fixated on songs too, where I listen to it until I ruin it for myself. That's my problem. I'll listen to it so much that then I'm. One day I get in the car and the first strings of the song come in.

[A]

I'm like, get that shit off.

[B]

But I've listened to it 900 times.

[A]

And I know that to be true. Because we're not the kind to do things in half measure. If we're gonna be obsessed, it will be months.

[B]

I know, it's bad.

[A]

It will be played.

[B]

I'm balls to the wall or nothing at all. Absolutely.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Before you got here, I did a little shopping next door. Why did you get.

[A]

Why did you. I have to say, I'm mad that you shopped without me. You know, I won't miss a moment to spend money on clothing. Just a little something.

[B]

You wanna see it?

[A]

Absolutely. Pull it out. Pull it out. Pull it out, out, out.

[B]

What's in the bag?

[A]

What's in the bag?

[B]

What's in the bag? I'm excited. What's in the bag? What's in the bag?

[A]

So, sex.

[B]

Now imagine pulling me out of it.

[A]

Swallow.

[B]

Imagine me sliding out of it.

[A]

Wait, what does Martin say in the Parent Trap? If I were you and had those legs. He has it on the. Or the hanger.

[B]

I'd wear this.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Terry. I love a wine.

[A]

This is so you.

[B]

I'm trying to build a fall wardrobe, which I've never done in my life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm trying to not just wear the same pair of overalls and dirty shirt everywhere.

[A]

That's okay.

[B]

I'm changing my waist anyways. Check this puppy out.

[A]

This is delicious.

[B]

I walked in, I held it up. A man said, you would look fabulous in that. And I turned to him and I said, I'll take it. You're the easiest. I didn't even try it on.

[A]

You didn't?

[B]

I said, you think it'll fit me? He goes, I'm sure it will. And he goes, with that little figure? I said, shut your mouth. I'll take four.

[A]

He's three compliments in.

[B]

At that point, we're done. And when I walked in, he said, by the way, you're stunning. My nipples got hard at that point. Point me into something that'll fit over this ass.

[A]

That's gorgeous. You look so good in slip dresses. It's beautiful. They're such an easy, beautiful thing for.

[B]

You to wear, you know? I don't know. Well, who knows if my husband will notice. I'll just put it on. We'll see.

[A]

You know, it's something small. You never know.

[B]

Something small.

[A]

I adore it. Cannot wait to see you in it. And you can throw little sweaters over that. When it gets chilly, you can belt it at the waist, make it look like a skirt.

[B]

Too bad I don't own a belt. Next step. Next step. Belt. Panties. Maybe a sock. Or do.

[A]

And A bra. But you've been doing good with those.

[B]

I haven't. I went to in to see me.

[A]

Oh, J.

[B]

Lo's brand, is it hers? Does she own it? Because Sarah Parker was like in doing the bras for a minute.

[A]

Is J. Lo in Tamisi or is she.

[B]

She was in Tamis and before her. I remember SJP did a little ad for them.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I remember thinking her implants look great.

[A]

Yeah, I've been seeing a lot of her on the feed. Cause you know, and just like that is ending, it's done, it's gone.

[B]

And just like that it's done.

[A]

And just like that I didn't watch. I couldn't do it to myself because I didn't want to ruin the good. You know, it's for the best.

[B]

For the best. I think everybody made a good call.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Somebody in the comments.

[A]

Everybody made a good call.

[B]

Somebody in the comments was like are you all happy now? They ended the show because you all complained and somebody respond and they said yes, I am actually.

[A]

Yeah. The memes have been funny surrounding that.

[B]

They have been funny.

[A]

Okay, what else?

[B]

What's new with you? You look fabulous today. For our listeners, Tiffany's wearing a two piece suit. Moment. Paired with a white kitten heel.

[A]

She's right.

[B]

Fabulous. And a little. And a little white turtleneck.

[A]

Thanks you looks Ted Baker. The shoes are from Zara the other day. Just needed a simple little white heel. Don't look at my toes, they're a little crusty.

[B]

Oh, it's fine. You look great.

[A]

But I'm trying this new thing like wearing heels casually as a kid. I thought that's what adult women did. We don't do that. And I'm fine with that. But I want to be one who.

[B]

Does on occasion wears heels casually.

[A]

Yeah. Just throws them on with a cute little look. My mom did it growing up. My mom wore heels.

[B]

My mom wears heels to the grocery store. I love the heel wedge.

[A]

She's so cute.

[B]

You better watch out. See Wendell in her kitchen. Heel wedge.

[A]

I love her.

[B]

She comes clacking around the corner. You know she's about to head out of the house. And my mom on half an inch. My mother also always has a pair of earrings on. Like even if it's like 7:30 and she's in her jammies.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She always has a pair of earrings. Earrings on.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

I'm always interested in that.

[A]

That's something your mother and I have in common.

[B]

You do?

[A]

Always.

[B]

I've never seen you without a. I.

[A]

Get up, put on my Earrings. I don't even brush my teeth. This is gross. I don't brush my teeth when I walk the dog. But I do put on earrings, like the first thing.

[B]

Is it just because you just feel naked without them?

[A]

Not even naked. I think it makes me feel put together. Like if my breath stank. Oh, well. But if you see me coming from a distance, she's got earrings on, she's put together.

[B]

All I can think of is, what's something that I insist on so that I feel put together when I leave the house? And my God, Yesterday, I went out into the yard in just my little robe. I was butt naked underneath. And the dog went running past me. So I opened my arms and I said, rose. And my whole robe opened. And Alec was at the top floor. And he yelled out, tee, I can see your titties. Come on. And I'm like, we don't even have neighbors. Who cares? No one cares. Sure enough, there were men working in the yard next.

[A]

So did they see?

[B]

They were too polite to say if they did. But I turned and I went, oh, God. And I like.

[A]

And then I went, your house will be their favorite house to work on. Or wait, I guess next door will.

[B]

Be your work mirror. They were fixed in the barn next door.

[A]

Oh, I saw a video of a girl, a young girl, yesterday. Her mom records her every morning going out to feed the chickens in her rollers, in her little robe with her fuzzy slippers.

[B]

So cute.

[A]

And she's like. She does this every morning. I don't know where she gets it from. She's so fabulous. And she looked adorable. She's probably like 11. And she's, like, stretching and yawning with rollers and a little thing that is.

[B]

So her little routine.

[A]

I said, oh, well, you know, I've.

[B]

Been taking care of the chickens. Next.

[A]

That's why I thought of you, because I said, that could be Taryn.

[B]

Let me tell you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, if you know me, you know that I actually have always been quite afraid of birds. They unsettle me. Especially pigeons. They are. They're unsettling. The way their heads cock like this. They're very exorcisty. Their eyes blink the wrong fucking way.

[A]

They are strange.

[B]

There's something about birds I don't like. They're sinister. But I knew that I wanted chickens.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Okay. So I told my neighbors. I asked my neighbors, can I start spending some time with your chickens? Because I don't know anything about them. And I would like some of my own. Really, though. I was like, I Also really want to get you. I. I know I can conquer this fear. I'm not so terribly petrified of chickens that I can't be near them. They just kind of unsettle me. But I was like, I can get over this.

[A]

And sure enough, look at you.

[B]

I'm a few weeks in, and now I walk in. Now, I asked my farmers, I'm like, now what are all their names? And my. My neighbor, who's so sweet, she was like, what? They're chickens. I didn't name them. I thought, my God, everyone deserves to have a name at the very least. My God. So now I've named them all. My favorite is a white one named Princess Diana.

[A]

Princess Diana.

[B]

And every morning I come out to see the chickies, and I go, cha Ching. I saw them by Cha Chaeng Cha ching Cha chunks. I come out. I waddle out there in my nightgown. Cha chuns. And they all come up.

[A]

So they recognize you at this point or like, know that you're bringing their food.

[B]

Yeah. And they come up to the fence.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

But then I get close to them, and they go. They run away.

[A]

And I go, wait.

[B]

Come on. And I pick up Diana every time. Princess Diana's my favorite one to hold. And I hold her like this, and I talk to her. She shits. And I just hold her away from me. Gross.

[A]

What does chicken poop look like?

[B]

It's like white and gushy.

[A]

Oh. So it's like bird poop. Like pigeon poop.

[B]

And I hold her. I'm like, how you doing, diva? And then when I finally put her down, they're all mad and they all walk away. And then I go and get the eggs. And my other favorite chicken, Blackie. That girl doesn't rest. She is sitting on an egg. I'm so proud of her.

[A]

Do they do a. I know nothing about rearing a chicken. Do they do lay eggs every day? Like, you can go out every morning?

[B]

Some chickens do and some chickens don't. But Blackie is relentless. She is the only one really putting in work. And I brought it up to the other chickens.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, I hope you all know Blackie's doing all that.

[A]

Y' all need to pick up some slack.

[B]

I don't. I've never seen Diana laying egg.

[A]

Nope. That's cause you holding them most of the time.

[B]

She's.

[A]

My life is made. Poor Blackie's the scullery maid of the chickens.

[B]

I know, and I. Aren't you gonna get something to eat? I just poured you some Fresh water, Blackie. Anyways, she's always in there and every time you open the pen, her feathers go up because she knows she's gonna get touched. She's like, leave me alone. I reach under her and I'm really used to it. It used to kind of eek me.

[A]

Out to like shift them and. Yeah.

[B]

And mess with them.

[A]

But they don't.

[B]

She doesn't scratch or anything. Like they're used to people. If you handle them, they're used to them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I went and I always. And today she had two, which usually she only puts out one. So I grabbed the two eggs and I was like literally so proud of her. I was like, blackie, thank you so much, my Dee.

[A]

Thank you for these.

[B]

And she's sitting there.

[A]

See you tomorrow, Alpha.

[B]

Thanks, you dumb bitch.

[A]

Gronk Gunk.

[B]

Bye, Di. See you, bitch.

[A]

That's so funny. And is this the neighbor on. You only have one? The only neighbor I have.

[B]

They're so nice to let me take care of their chickens. I think they must find it very entertaining that I'm obsessed with the chickens now.

[A]

It's charming.

[B]

I love them.

[A]

Why not?

[B]

I like love the chickens. I can't wait for my own.

[A]

Oh, you guys.

[B]

And then the other day I went into the pen.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

Now I'm afraid of. I'm still trying to get over like the city girl in me. That is like anything I'm not prepared for. Like critter wise. I get pretty upset. So I'm going in the pen the other day and somehow a bird, a loose outside bird, was stuck in the.

[A]

Cage with the chicken.

[B]

Yeah. Ow.

[A]

Oh, ow. What did you do? I didn't know what to do.

[B]

So I just stood in there going stop, go. Because I figured she got in there. She must have got on through a hole.

[A]

And the chickens are unbothered.

[B]

I'm sure Diana.

[A]

Blackie's warming her damn egg. He's unbothered. Hell.

[B]

Well hell. Trying to warm an egg. And I was just. But then the bird. And then I lost. Whatever. It doesn't matter. The bird eventually got back out again. Oh my God. But I was so scared that I was gonna have to handle this other extra bird. And I'm not emotionally prepared to handle me.

[A]

But I feel like that will be the peak of you conquering this bird fear. You'll be able to grab a pigeon one day. I can see it for you.

[B]

We're gonna be out to drinks and I'm just gonna go watch this. Get over here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This pigeon.

[A]

Well you kill Daddy Long Legs, and to me, that's, like, the craziest thing in the world.

[B]

That's the pigeon.

[A]

What, and you just let him go?

[B]

I'm holding him by the neck. I see you around here again, this is gonna be the least of your problems, Baco.

[A]

You get a reputation. It's the pigeon, the pigeon wrangler. Yeah, I could see that for you. If anybody could, it'd be you. Why not?

[B]

So you didn't grow up with any? Like, you didn't grow up.

[A]

I mean, I didn't grow bugs is my one thing. Like, I'm just horrified of bugs. Is that what you're gonna ask?

[B]

I was gonna ask if you grew up because I know you grew up in the south, so I was wondering if you grew up around chickens or livestock or anything or not really have.

[A]

Any of the livestock. I grew up in South Florida, so specifically, like, where we were is basically vacation town. So the most exotic thing we had were iguanas. But to some people, that is incredibly exotic. To us, like, lizards are just lizards to me.

[B]

I didn't grow up with lizards near me, girl.

[A]

Give me that lizard. I'll take the lizard.

[B]

You're not afraid of an iguana?

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

I don't like them.

[A]

I find this so intriguing. When we went to Miami for the girls trip, or Miami specifically is like, iguana town. Miami has peacocks and iguanas. Like, you look up in the tree.

[B]

Why peacocks?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You're kidding.

[A]

No. You look up in the tree. I did. I was standing under a tree in the front lawn, and the Airbnb that we got looked like Jurassic park almost. It was just a lot of beautiful canopy trees and, like, palm trees, and it was really dense and lush. Beautiful. I'm walking around on the phone and I see a giant feather, like, huge peacock feather on the ground. And I'm like, oh, how sweet. I'm sure they're around. And then I was like.

[B]

It'S right above.

[A]

Biggest fucking peacock I have ever seen. Perched, I mean, maybe three feet above my head. And they look. They look like dinosaurs. They're huge up close, just sitting on the tree.

[B]

If they're flightless, how do you get in the tree?

[A]

They fly.

[B]

They just get a little bit. I thought peacocks were flightless.

[A]

They get a little something, they get some air.

[B]

I'm fairly certain you're on the phone anyways. I don't think peacocks can fl.

[A]

It literally happens just like that.

[B]

Think again, bitch. Correct. Your worst nightmare jumps off.

[A]

That's Literally it. And then I kept looking and there were like five or six peacocks on top of me just up there. They're massive, but they're beautiful.

[B]

I had no idea. Purely exotic, domesticated birds?

[A]

Hell, no. They just walk the streets. Yeah. So I didn't. I don't have, like, a fear of birds or mammals.

[B]

Did you see gators and stuff?

[A]

Hell, yeah. Walking down the street. They in your backyard when you wake up. What are they doing? Sitting there sunning, waiting for you or your dog, unfortunately.

[B]

Hey.

[A]

Hey. How y' all doing?

[B]

It's me, honey.

[A]

Nigel's in the yard again.

[B]

Now, don't go making a big deal about me being in the yard.

[A]

And that's how it feels. Like they're just like.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Like, they sit, they come up in sun and then. But they're not. Not. They're relatively harmless if you don't do something stupid and then they see you coming and they slither back into the water.

[B]

So they avoid you.

[A]

For the most part, yes. For the most part.

[B]

Gators scare the shit out of me. That is a. And I'm more afraid of gator than I am like a shark, really. Gators are fucking scary because the way.

[A]

They look like dinosaurs. I mean. Yeah.

[B]

They're the closest thing we have to them.

[A]

They are.

[B]

They're frigging scary. And they. I think the idea that, like, if you're walking alone, like in a marsh or a bog, and they look like rocks, but then they can come out and grab you if they're so hungry enough to do so.

[A]

Well, if you walking alone in a bog or a marsh.

[B]

I've been reading a lot of romance novels based on Marshall.

[A]

A bog and a marsh.

[B]

I love a marsh. I'm really into my. My swamp stories right now. Ever since we're the Crawdads Sing. I've been in marshes.

[A]

Because you read serious books now, I forgot.

[B]

No, no, no. Well, no, no, no.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[B]

To an extent. Nora Roberts.

[A]

Whatever it is.

[B]

Serious is Nora Roberts. That's. She's serious.

[A]

Pretty serious. I.

[B]

Serious. Hey, Nora. I've been liking your bugs, you dirty bitch.

[A]

I was saying earlier, your ability to kill bugs is baffling to me now. Like, I love that for you. We were painting the house and Taryn just grabbed some daddy long legs.

[B]

I said, wow, you get out of here, girl. And before any of you get on me, because I know it's going to happen, please let them live. They're not hurting anyone. They're hurting me by being in my house. And they say, but they kill the. You guys always say, don't kill the spider because they'll get the bad bugs. You know what? They're all bad bugs. None of them are good bugs.

[A]

None of them are good.

[B]

I have a zero tolerance policy. Ditto if you are an insect in my home. Death penalty.

[A]

It's done. I was on the phone with a man friend, and he had a daddy long leg multiple in the corner of his house. And he's like, ah, he moved. He relocates their webs. He keeps them in the house for that very reason. He's like, they get rid of the. Da, da, da, da, my ass.

[B]

What are they getting rid of?

[A]

I said, did you just pick him up and move him to a better location in your home? Literally? And he does it all the time.

[B]

We're on the move.

[A]

He's, like, excited.

[B]

Uh oh, here we go. I do think that daddy Long legs are the flamboyant gang, the divas are of the spider world.

[A]

I. Okay, I can't even get into this conversation.

[B]

They're long legs.

[A]

No spiders.

[B]

Also, their name is literally Daddy, Daddy Long Legs.

[A]

Daddy, he's a papacita. Hey, boys.

[B]

It's me, Daddy Long Legs. He's the spend all of my days up in the corner, and he's Eliza.

[A]

Minnelli impersonator Daddy Long Legs. My pants are falling off.

[B]

It's crazy. Ew.

[A]

I can't even talk about him. I mean, spiders are my thing.

[B]

I don't like spiders either.

[A]

Across the board. I can't even look at them. They GR me out. They scare the shit out of me.

[B]

But I have a new deep. And I mean, I have house centipedes, girl. And the centipedes I cannot abide. And somebody recently commented, do not kill the centipedes. They kill all the bad bugs. Let's circle back to what I said earlier. What don't you understand about all of them are bad bugs?

[A]

Don't piss me off.

[B]

Don't piss me off. Death penalty.

[A]

I was watching a Wendy Williams clip. You know the one I'm talking about? Depth to the mall.

[B]

Death to the mall.

[A]

It came up yesterday, and I died.

[B]

Yeah, I don't like bugs. I don't like them. But now I'm more. I'm not as spooked by them. I just get very calm and I go and kill them.

[A]

I'm trying to be like you, my boy, because I'm not there.

[B]

That's okay. You can avoid them. You just need somebody in your life that's willing to Kill them.

[A]

You know, I've once called a man who lived 200 plus blocks away to come and get a bug.

[B]

I love that for you.

[A]

And I was walking out of my. This is actually a very funny story. So a couple weeks ago, I found a water bug in my apartment. And before you try to make the distinction between a roach and a water bug, doesn't matter to me. Because people who are not afraid of roaches or who are afraid of roaches will be like, oh, but it's a water bug, it's fine. I'm like, no, they both look like roaches to me. And they big and they fly. So no, I don't want them in my house. I was scared as hell. I was existing comfortably in the diva dome. You know, I love my home. She's my space. She's me. Yeah, I'm existing comfortably. And I had a feeling. I said, oh, no, see, you always get the feeling I have a roach sense. And it's crazy.

[B]

Literally, you'll be like reading a magazine.

[A]

I'm like, and I know, I know when there's a bug near, specifically a roach variety of a bug. And I don't have them in my house. So this was like a shock to my system to feel the feeling. So I turned around and the biggest fucking water bug I've ever seen in my life. And I'm from Florida, so we have big ones was.

[B]

I know you do.

[A]

Planted. Planted on my wall. I dropped everything. I left Winston. I said, you have got to stay in the house. I called, you left your son. I left the baby. Cause I knew he'd be fine. I didn't want to, I didn't want to disturb his slumber. I immediately run into my closet and I call my neighbor Katie, my upstairs neighbor Katie. And I'm like, katie, you got to get down here. There is a roach and I cannot kill it. And she's like, babe, I'm not home. I'm in D.C. and I'm like, katie.

[B]

What do you mean you're out to sea now?

[A]

Like what you're out to see? What do you mean? And she's like, I'm on the way. Like, I'm coming from train station. I'm like, okay, Katie, how long will you be? All of this is happening in like 15 seconds. And she's like, I'll be right there. And I'm like, all right, Katie, what a good neighbor. She's fabulous. Oh, we hold each other down. In the time that it took Katie to get from Penn Station, cuz she Said it would take 10 minutes in the time it took Katie to get from Penn station. I called one other person. A man who lives 200 plus blocks away. The one who I wanted to call was out of the country. Everybody was gone. You live in the damn country. So I couldn't call nobody.

[B]

I would have come. I know you would have took me some time.

[A]

It would have took. I. Next time, Trace.

[B]

She's not afraid of me.

[A]

Trace, you're so right. Next time I'm calling your ass. Cause I know you're not afraid. No, the only thing I'm afraid is bears. Who?

[B]

She's afraid of bears.

[A]

Oh, bears.

[B]

She pointed at me because she found out there are bears in my area and now she's scared of the bears in my area.

[A]

Well, bears are a valid.

[B]

Weirdly, I'm not afraid of bears at all.

[A]

Me neither. But I know they will fuck people up.

[B]

Not me. Turns black and white. This was the last episode Taryn Delaney Smith filmed before being mauled.

[A]

She was mauled by a bear.

[B]

Life is a high. Not me. Life is a highway. I wanna ride it.

[A]

This is very niche. But do you know in the Pirates of the Caribbean when Jack Sparrow faces off with the Kraken? And the Kraken's like big and Jack is really small up front and his.

[B]

Dreads are blowing in the wind.

[A]

And it's alive.

[B]

Facing off with the bear.

[A]

That's you and the bear. Oh my God. Sorry. Help the bear.

[B]

I was just gonna do it, but I was like, it's too beast.

[A]

If you ever see me fighting in the forest with a grizzly bear.

[B]

Help the bear.

[A]

That bitch gonna need it.

[B]

That's exactly how I feel. I'm not afraid. I swear to God I will. These two, these. You're small.

[A]

Your hands are small.

[B]

I just believe if I have enough ferocity and anger. I also got Bruce. Bruce will scare a bear. Bruce will go after a bear he's.

[A]

Tried before and he's bred to do so.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

So he'll be at the window if there's a in the yard. And I'm like, calm down. Not today. This is not our bat.

[A]

This is not our bear.

[B]

But if I ever. If I'm ever. If I'm ever on my property and a bear is blocking my path.

[A]

Yeah, you better believe. If you ever see a fighting in the forest with a grizzly bear. Help the bear.

[B]

Don't need it.

[A]

That bitch gonna need it. Okay, I call a man. Doesn't matter. He lives very far. And as soon as he Answers. I go, I didn't even say hi. I'm like, I have a bug. I'm calling an Uber. I know where you are. Come get this fucking bug. And he's like, what?

[B]

My God. The feminine prowess she possesses. It blows my mind.

[A]

I mean, hate to say it. I have these men by the balls.

[B]

I love that for you. For one thing, I like to think I have the men in my life wrapped around my little finger. She's got a man wrapped around her ovaries.

[A]

Every. All the crevices.

[B]

Every crevice and organs.

[A]

I don't like them in the crevices and organs.

[B]

You're right. She's got these men wrapped around themselves six times over.

[A]

So it is not strange for my friends to hear that I'm calling a man in the middle of the night. And they will come. It just is what it is. Thank you guys for that. I appreciate it. So I called the Uber immediately. He lives 40 minutes away. So I'm like, Katie's coming in 10. He's coming in 40. Just in case Katie's delayed. I can't sit in this house by myself. All of this. I'm a general. I'm making decisions on behalf of everyone's health and safety. Okay?

[B]

I respect it.

[A]

So I said, oh, I can't stay in this house. So I got Winston. I went back for him. I got Winston, packed a small bag and walked out of the fucking door.

[B]

You left.

[A]

I left my apartment. And Katie was pulling up as I was walking out of the door.

[B]

Not her pulling up to you. Leaving home.

[A]

Oh, literally, it was like a movie. And she's in the back of a cab, and she's like. She leans out of the door. It's like, get back in there. Are you crazy? And I'm like, katie, I told you I couldn't stay in this house. She's like, were you just gonna leave your whole apartment? I'm like, was that unclear by me? Walking out with my dog in a bag?

[B]

That is so funny. I imagine you with the stick, with the little bag, with the bag on the back to my puppy. You're out.

[A]

I dipped. And she was like, get back in this house. I've got the bug. She has her suitcase. Like, she hasn't even gone upstairs. To her.

[B]

That is so funny.

[A]

She stops at my front door. Cause I'm on the first floor. And she's like, where is it? And I'm like, katie, I walked out. I don't know where it is. And she's like, you left? And you don't know where you left it. And my house is like, I'm cleaning, so I have stuff all over the house. It could be anywhere at this point. And it wasn't where I left it. So Katie and I are causing a ruckus. Her big ass dog, Finn. I love you, Katie. I'm just telling all your business. Finn is Katie's dog and he's a giant golden.

[B]

My favorite thing about Finn is that when you walk into Tiffany's apartment building, he will be loose, sitting at the top of the stairs. And everyone just accepts it. He might even walk into your house if the door opens.

[A]

He absolutely will.

[B]

It's my favorite thing. It's such a New York moment. I love Finn.

[A]

It's so cute. So all the dogs in the building are all buddies and, like, they'll run, run the building together. It's adorable. And Finn is with. So Finn heard Katie coming and he was with our neighbor, Ms. Cindy. So he runs out of Ms. Cindy's apartment, down the stairs to see his mom, who still has her suitcase and is battling a bug in my apartment. So now Finn, Winston, Katie and me are loose in my apartment. Ms. Cindy, our neighbor, comes down now she's like, where's the bug? Miss Cindy ain't afraid of nothing, so she could get the bug if she need to get it.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

We're all in my tiny studio apartment looking for this bug. Katie had to go upstairs and get her vacuum cleaner. So she's like, I'm not gonna like, step on it, but I can suck it up. And I'm like, katie, I don't care what your methods are. Do what you gotta do to get the fucking bug. So we're all in there searching for the bug. I'm screaming, she finds it. It's under the stove. It runs out. I'm like, katie, get that motherfucking bitch. And where I'm like cursing, screaming, because when I'm scared, I'm stressed, I curse unnecessarily. So get that carny. Get that carny ass bitch motherfucker. Excuse my French. So he runs out and Katie's like. She screams because I'm screaming. Katie screams. She's able to like, semi suck it up. Then she does actually have to suck.

[B]

It up is worse.

[A]

No, I agree. But she ended up having to step.

[B]

Up because it's alive in the vacuum.

[A]

Then that's what I said.

[B]

I would rather just kill it.

[A]

I was like, what you gonna do with it now? It's gonna sit in your vacuum cleaner.

[B]

And Then the moment you turn off the suction, it climbs right back up.

[A]

Oh, God, I hate them.

[B]

Trust me, I've learned the hard way.

[A]

You have eight roaches trying to call.

[B]

In a colony of wolf spiders. And I turned off the vacuum and I thought, good, the deed is done. They all came out. Oh my God. Oh, it was wor. And they were mad when they came out.

[A]

Oh God, they're so gross.

[B]

Oh, we won't get into it.

[A]

Anyway, the story ends basically. Katie finds the roach, we all hoorah. And then the man obviously is still on the way. I forgot I called his Uber. So he got to my house and was like, all right, what do we do? And I'm like, you're going home. It's gone. Sent him package.

[B]

Incredible. I think he might have been some kind of queen in another lifetime.

[A]

At the very least, a witch. At the very least.

[B]

At the very least, the way you had a dramatic impact. A witch. At the very least, a witch.

[A]

Yeah. Lightning cracks behind me.

[B]

I certainly was.

[A]

Yeah. What are they called in Mexican culture? It starts with a B. Like a bruh.

[B]

Brumhilda.

[A]

That's what. Yes, but it's something short.

[B]

I don't know why Brunhild. Don't think. I think that's a German word or some kind of.

[A]

Of content. I think it is. It has something to do with which Brujas.

[B]

Brujas.

[A]

We were brujas.

[B]

Brujas, yeah. If we're wrong, don't make fun of us.

[A]

Sorry. I have a bottle of wine that says it's group of the brujas. Is. But it's in Spanish.

[B]

Oh, that's great.

[A]

Yeah, I bought it because they're like witches over a cauldron.

[B]

A little coven moment. You and all your neighbors are in a little covenant.

[A]

It's very sweet. I love my little building.

[B]

And the violent death of the roach. Mark that space. It did.

[A]

His scream echoes into eternity.

[B]

That's what it sounded like.

[A]

Streaming now on Peacock we sell toilet.

[B]

Tissue and local newspapers.

[A]

That is in order of quality.

[B]

From the crew that brought you the office.

[A]

My name is Ned Sampson. I am your new editor in chief. Comes a new comedy series.

[B]

Have you read the uh huh.

[A]

It sucks.

[B]

But we are going to make it better.

[A]

Meet the underdog journalists. I hope it's not too disruptive to.

[B]

Have me shake everything up.

[A]

Don't be so self defecating with major issues.

[B]

Oscar. Oh God, not again.

[A]

The paper Only on Peacock. Streaming now. This episode is brought to you by FXX and Hulu Futurama returns on September.

[B]

15, blending heartfelt moments with razor sharp humor while accidentally saving the day.

[A]

The Planet Express crew is back, defying gravity and common sense. From the creator of The Simpsons comes 10 new episodes where the romance is hotter, the threats are bigger, and the action hits harder. Don't miss the all new season of Futurama returning September 15th at 8pm Watch it on FXX or streaming on Hulu. Yep.

[B]

Friggin bugs. I can't do it. But I really love. I mean, I'm getting better at it. There's a couple things when I moved to the country that I was like. I can't run screaming every time that there's something gross or a critter or something spooky. So I'm really working on it and I am getting better at it.

[A]

It's like.

[B]

It's like a mind for me. It's like a mind over matter thing.

[A]

It's amazing.

[B]

It's my house. I have to. But guess what? Yesterday I was weeding.

[A]

No. What'd you find?

[B]

A snake.

[A]

Oh, girl, that's fine. What?

[B]

So you draw the line? It's snakes. Those don't bother you?

[A]

Girl, that don't bother me. I grew up watching my nana sit on the porch with a hoe every morning, hacking them bitches up anytime they slither down.

[B]

It was a little baby snake. I didn't kill him. He went under, into my garage, like under my garage. And I thought, wonder if there's snakes living under the garage?

[A]

Probably.

[B]

I also have a groundhog, but I quite like him.

[A]

Maurice, you got to name him Plux Otaw. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard.

[B]

That we have a groundhog tradition and.

[A]

His name is Pluxitawny Phil.

[B]

It's great. Well, you know, he's died a few times and they just replaced him with the new. Which I.

[A]

That's like school mascots, like college mascots, like the bulldog. They'll just get a new bulldog every.

[B]

13 years running out over the fields. And people are. Americans are so weird. But I mean, it's great, don't get me wrong. But we've got. I don't know, it's all this. We have. We'll have whole. Sometimes I have been in NFL games and they do the national anthem and the home of the Brave and then fireworks go off and then the blue angels jets fly over. People lose their minds. Grown men with their shirts off in the middle of winter, painted crazy colors, hooting and hollering and smelling and spell.

[A]

Spilling their Beer spilling, beer throwing it. I mean, losing their mind.

[B]

And then I'm sitting there and I just turn to have a normal conversation with a man and I say something like, oh, how do you think of the weather? And they're like, quiet, woman. I've gotta focus on what's happening in.

[A]

Front of me, girl.

[B]

Because I love my husband and I love my brothers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And, you know, I just like, what do you want me to say? I like to have a little chit chat. I like to go and get a little pretzel. I might want to have some cocoa if it's cold.

[A]

A chicken. Tender the moment, though.

[B]

They're like, oh, looks like rain.

[A]

See y'.

[B]

All, Looks like you've seen the last of me.

[A]

Looks like you about to be eating my dust. Cause I'm going home.

[B]

It's the weirdest thing, but it's also the funniest thing. Here's what I'll say. I'm like, I'm hooting and hollering about it, but at the same time, I also have. There's two sides of me at once that I'm like, this is the most bizarre, fanatical, illogical obsession of our culture. Like, the amount of money spent and the amount of money alone is just insane to me. And then, like you said, they'll have. I'm from Seattle. We have a hawk that flies over the stadium. And some hawker's standing there like, bitch, I'm waiting.

[A]

And people are like, he could deviate at any moment. Kill somebody.

[B]

They play a song for it. Na na na na na na na na. The hawk comes out and here it comes. I don't know what the fuck his name is. Hockey Jonathan Hockey Jones. And everyone's like. Like, it's like they've given them, like, it's giving all the men this special power. And then the hawker catches him and he's like, get ready. And then he releases him again. I bet the hawk's flying over us all like, you fucking idiot, Abbott. He's like, you carny. Flying over us all. It's all stupid little peasants looking up. That's crazy. Now let me stop, because the Seahawks invite me to the game. Uh oh, and I appreciate you couldn't be surprised that I'm gonna make fun of almost everything I'm at because I.

[A]

Am very easy to make fun of.

[B]

You are allowed to make fun of my funeral. I hope at least one bit comes out of it.

[A]

I was actually joking about our funerals yesterday. Oddly enough, you were keeled over laughing because someone Was like, this will be written on your tombstone quote, don't piss me off.

[B]

And then I was like, don't piss me off.

[A]

Darren will be buried next to me and it'll be like she said what she said or something like that.

[B]

It'll be like yours is gonna say something like, we have got to get to heaven. And then mine will say, don't piss.

[A]

Us off in eternity lying next to each other.

[B]

I do think we should consider plots together.

[A]

I'm open to it.

[B]

Maybe a big mausoleum. Maybe.

[A]

I thought that was so morbid growing up that my great grandparents like pre planned everything. And now I'm like, you know what? I see the merits.

[B]

I can see it.

[A]

I see it now.

[B]

Mausoleum sign of the top. Diva Dome, Diva Dome, Diva Dome Lockstein. And then every Friday a hawker that'll be in my state comes out. Da na na na. Showing them all. Welcome to the Diva Dome. Da na na. That's so crazy. Oh shit. Anyway, yeah, so.

[A]

But I hear you. We war with liking it.

[B]

I'll be honest.

[A]

But am I stupid?

[B]

What am I talking about?

[A]

You liked it. I don't know what I'm talking about.

[B]

Will you hear me? What about what we were saying?

[A]

That it's both the craziest and most absurd thing and we laugh at it because it's gross weird. But we love organized events and people's joy. I do.

[B]

Thank you for bringing me back.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

So with that being said, I still go to the games and I love a good invite. And here's why. Life is hard enough to live and to exist on this earth since the dawn of time has meant suffering. For in so many different ways, no matter who you are or where you come from or how much money you do or don't have, everybody experiences struggle. Therefore, you're entitled to a silly little.

[A]

Time, to a goofy little time, a goofy little time with 70,000 other people. Whenever you want, I say do it.

[B]

And I do. In some cases I will think, like when we're driving home, my husband's so happy about, you know, his favorite men in tights having done touching each other. He is so excited about it. And I'm like, what a simple joy.

[A]

It is a simple joy. I get it. I fucking love football and sports or organized sports. So I understand it. It's just weird when you're sitting involved.

[B]

In it, if you're sitting in it and if you think too hard about it, it's weird. But if you think too hard about anything that humans do, it's kind of funny. It is. When I'm antiquing, I'm like, why am I collecting all these treasures like a raven? I don't even know.

[A]

Why am I doing this?

[B]

Like, why am I buying this? Why am I haggling with this man over a broken mirror that's 500 years old? And I'm like, I need it. Why? I don't know. By the way, it has mercury in it, so don't breathe it in. And I'm like, thank God. What a find. I don't know.

[A]

Now take it for four or something.

[B]

I'll lower it down. I'll lower it. Yeah, I know. I just like, why? I always. I often think when I think about anything that humans do, how. How adorable that we do any of it at all.

[A]

Yeah. I'm sure the aliens watch us. Like, you're so cute.

[B]

Some of us. Yeah.

[A]

I'd like to believe that.

[B]

Or sometimes they might be like, oh, what else is on?

[A]

Yeah, we're like the Truman show for the aliens.

[B]

I think so.

[A]

I think that could be true in some reality. Yeah.

[B]

If we were in some kind of, like, interstellar universe in which you had the option to go live on a new planet, like a fresh planet.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And, like, go into. Get on the spaceship and go into a cryo freeze. Thank you. I'm glad that you knew I was going to say comatosis. I don't know where that came from. Comatoses, a cryo freeze. So you wake up the same age, but 200 years from now, on another planet, fresh start. Would you go?

[A]

Would I go?

[B]

I can't even believe you're thinking about it.

[A]

I'm thinking about it because this is now an actual question that people are asking themselves. Billionaires have the ability to do this. So I'm like. I think about this often because I'm like, wow, there will come a day where people have the opportunity to actually abandon this planet and never return. Like within our reality or within our existence. I do think that that could happen, truly. That's why they go into space. They wouldn't go out there if they didn't think anything was out there. They wouldn't go there. They didn't think there was anything out there. You gotta be quicker than that. I wouldn't go, probably not. Because this is. And this is a very stupid reason. I don't want to be amongst the first people to figure out that it's not a good place to be. Oh, that's like we step off and get eaten.

[B]

I don't want that we get off the ship.

[A]

Uh oh.

[B]

And it's just like, this is a forever winter planet.

[A]

Don't like that. There's a movie where that happens. It's a Netflix movie with Leonardo DiCaprio and what's her Face. Homegirl, who plays Katniss Everdeen. Don't Look Up.

[B]

Don't look up was really good.

[A]

Yeah. In the end of that movie, Meryl.

[B]

Streep gets eaten by a damn.

[A]

Correct. I have that in the back of my mind. So I'm like, I don't want to be Meryl Streep getting eaten by the dinosaur.

[B]

Don't look up. Passengers, interstellar. They've all kind of. They've all touched on this or messed with the idea of, like, find being the. Being the new colony of people. The new world.

[A]

Hell, the new Buzz Lightyear movie touched on it with the kids.

[B]

With the kids. With the kids.

[A]

Buzz got to the planet and. Oh, this is odd. Yeah. No, it won't be me. I'm. Go ahead and tough it out with all this down here.

[B]

No, because then how do you figure out. Oh, man.

[A]

And then I can't take my family. What about my dog? No, I can't leave Nana. Nana gotta come.

[B]

Nana gotta come.

[A]

So if Nana come and Papa coming.

[B]

And then you got Mo, and then.

[A]

You got Mo needs be paid and he needs his jet skis. He can't be up there without him.

[B]

And Mo likes to be paid. Correct.

[A]

So we gotta pay him on time.

[B]

I think. That's not for me.

[A]

Nope.

[B]

Although they would need someone to entertain.

[A]

You would volunteer as tribute.

[B]

I would make the first Caesar's palace and then have a residency. And there'd be almost no competition. You know what I mean? There's like, what, 150 of us? I'm certainly the funniest one there.

[A]

You're their only source of entertainment for God knows how long.

[B]

But I'm, like, chained up.

[A]

That's like Gladiator.

[B]

I thought I was gonna be rich and famous, but I'm actually stuck tattooing for 10 years.

[A]

That's horrible.

[B]

I'm a hawker.

[A]

The endless bit. It just never ends.

[B]

Oh, shit. Also, you're in a group of 100 people. Anything that you're, like, kind of good at, like, if you're above average at something.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, oh, my God, if we got 100 people and nobody else can kind of sing, I would be like Celine Dion to them. Correct. I'd be doing Taryn's Greatest Hits every night. I'd be a star in the new world. A star you'd be with me. You'd be a two part act.

[A]

Hell, you and me, we'd be a two part act.

[B]

On the road. No one could stop us. You know what we'd do? We'd have roses every night. We'd have vermouth and wine on the terrace.

[A]

Vermouth.

[B]

No one could stop us. I'd bring back these accents. We'd start all over.

[A]

Honestly, we would have the freedom to do that. Well, that's a better question. If you did go to this new world, what would you bring? Like, culturally, accent wise? Like, what's something that you would want to. Now be the norm again?

[B]

Shrek. I'd have to remake it scene for scene for scene. But I'm playing everybody.

[A]

What about you? Hell, I don't know.

[B]

Ooh, music. Probably music, because that's important to you.

[A]

I'm trying to think, like, historically, when something that I'm like, God dang, we really messed up when we let that one go. I don't know.

[B]

Fashion people are tacky these days.

[A]

When did I become the mean one on the show? When did I become Joan Rivers?

[B]

No, not at all.

[A]

I like Joan.

[B]

I think you're very fair, actually. I don't ever think you're cruel. I think you're honest about fashion.

[A]

Thanks. I don't know what I would bring. Honestly, that's such a great question.

[B]

Well, I guess we'll never know. I just. Hopefully not.

[A]

My God.

[B]

No, no, I don't want. I'm good. I mean, unless. Guess this planet was, like, uninhabitable when it was gonna, like, be awful. Yeah, I'm good.

[A]

I wonder if we're closer to that point than we.

[B]

Tiffany, don't say that. You're gonna give people anxiety.

[A]

I've just been thinking.

[B]

Everything's fine. You're fine. We're gonna be fine. I'm just thinking now my great, great grandkids.

[A]

I don't know, they may not be fine.

[B]

We're freaking people out. Don't get nervous. Everything's fine. You're all right.

[A]

Everybody's all right.

[B]

We're all gonna keep living on our planet.

[A]

We're gonna stay right here. No one's cryo freezing. Except maybe Gail again. Gail may do that again.

[B]

Gail.

[A]

They all went to the sky. Gail and Katie.

[B]

They went to the sky.

[A]

They went to the sky.

[B]

Gayle and Katie. You know what?

[A]

They came back.

[B]

They came back and that worked out for them. I'm still dying. Because why was it when they came.

[A]

Back.

[B]

It was either, like they'd Been on a space mission for 500 years.

[A]

The welcome and the celebration, the discovery.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

My God, we've done it. Like, what? What did you do?

[B]

What did you do? What did you do? I have to start acting like that when I take a flight and land in another state.

[A]

I mean, hell, at this point, we need to.

[B]

You need to come and hug me.

[A]

Like, I. I wish you could still go on the tarmac.

[B]

I would. I'm gonna get off the plane. You're like, how was your flight? And I'm gonna always answer. It just made me realize, you know, how fleeting the human life is, how small we are in the universe.

[A]

That's crazy. Did you see recently, now that we're talking about planes, Spirit Airlines flew through the hurricane. That's good.

[B]

Florida.

[A]

And I sent it to my mom. Cause Lanita is bougie in every way. But that woman will hop on a spirit flight with a she fucking with a quickness. And it really baffles me. And I was like, is this your airline?

[B]

As they flew literal hurricane. My mom's airline too.

[A]

Is she a Spirit flyer?

[B]

My mom is an Alaska Airlines flyer, which is, I just think, asking for trouble. Why are you. Why are you a lifelong member of Alaskan Airlines? How did you even get to that point with that flight? They only fly like these little ass Cessnas everywhere.

[A]

Took an Alaska flight to Hawaii and was like, this is the worst thing I've ever done in my life. The plane was from 1977. It did not have TVs, no wifi. The seats were crap, girl.

[B]

Even their terminal at friggin jfk, you have to go through all the construction and then you go into like this reject armpit of the airport and it's like 1A is lit up on the Alaska. So it just.

[A]

It's the flight attendants and your mom.

[B]

Yes. Welcome to Alaska. Get on it. It's so weird. And I'm pretty sure it's like so cute though. I'm sorry to shit on you, Alaska. Well, listen, I bet there's an Alaska flight attendant listening to this.

[A]

We have no beef with the individual. Hell, we don't have beef with the airline. It's just funny to laugh at.

[B]

You're right. See, I get too. No, I just. Oh, oh, no.

[A]

Uh oh.

[B]

Uh oh. The end is near. Uh oh.

[A]

The stroke outs go crazy around here.

[B]

I get so excited talking to you that my brain goes ahead of my nerves.

[A]

I can't. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. Oh my God. You got it. Try again.

[B]

Fucking carny piece of shit. I don't know. I don't know.

[A]

It's okay.

[B]

Don't be offended. I'm not blaming you guys for the fact all you. I la. I don't know.

[A]

All you. Alas. All you.

[B]

Alaska's. Alaska Airlines, you can kiss my. You get mad at them, and then Alaska Airlines, you can kiss my ass. You got four planes that never work. You canceled my mom's flight and I had to rebook her on Delta. God damn it. Now you're pissing me off. Because now I didn't want to yell at you. Here I am. The fact that you started off saying they're not. That you don't even offer in flight meals. It's just fucking nuts. And warm white wine. You don't even have a first class. It's just the jumper seats in the front. God damn it. Oh, shit. And now I'm fucking mad. Tiffany flew to Hawaii. Worst thing she ever did.

[A]

10 hours. It was horrible.

[B]

Oh, my God. And why don't you have any other flights from New York to Seattle? I'm getting dizzy. I'm lightheaded now.

[A]

That was crazy. Sorry.

[B]

And what the fuck is your emblem? Why is it George Washington on the tail? What does it have to do with.

[A]

A lot. That's a good question.

[B]

That has nothing to do. It should be a polar bear. You're Alaska.

[A]

You know what I just realized? I flew Hawaiian Airlines, not Alaska. As I'm sitting there thinking about. Cause I'm like, that was not on the tail of the plane. There was a Hawaiian woman, a Polynesian beautiful woman.

[B]

I love the Hawaiian airline.

[A]

Yeah, that was so beautiful. I mean, it was an old plane.

[B]

It's always fun when you go to the airport and you're like, I didn't know that airline existed.

[A]

And they give you lei and all that.

[B]

You know my favorite flight? I've that flight. We should end the show. I think we should see y' all later by. I think you should take me to the hospital. Smells like burnt toast in here.

[A]

Is that a symptom?

[B]

Smells like burnt toast. I don't know what's going on. Who. Where am I?

[A]

The final shot of the episode is you. Not the you facing off the bear, but it's you on a gurney.

[B]

Gives you that. I don't know what's going on. I just really mad at Alaska.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

I think the only reason I have animosity is my mom is so in love. She's so my. Because my mom is like, I love this. But I've always flown Alaska and I'm like, that's not a reason to keep flying Alaska.

[A]

Yeah, watch.

[B]

What if this comes out and then they like go under and it's like influencer single handedly sinks Alaska air.

[A]

You never know these days.

[B]

You never know the power. I'm just saying. I used to fly Alaska for years. Why? Because my mother, my, my whole growing up insisted on Alaska.

[A]

That was it.

[B]

Until I realized the more I flew other airlines as an adult, I'd be like, wow, this is actually quite lovely. My flight experience does not have to be stressful and I don't have to fly in what feels like a cannibal. What?

[A]

I'm flying in the belly of a cannibal.

[B]

You meant to say a tin cannibal. The best flight experience I've ever had and I simply mean for customer service was when I flew from Ireland and I flare Air Lingus.

[A]

Aer Lingus. Tati loves.

[B]

I love them. They are the nicest because they're all Irish. Thank you for following Air Lingus today. We're so glad to have you on board. If you need anything and if we start to crash, don't worry, we'll use our own bodies to protect you. Oh, it's like, thank you so much. They're so nice.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

And there's the flight attendants are so cute.

[A]

Oh, I love.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Yeah. Sends a shiver down my body.

[B]

So great. If the world is ending, we run to the airport and there's all these airplanes lined up.

[A]

My worst fear. Oh my God, this is so scary.

[B]

And it's like you get to choose one your mom's jumping on.

[A]

She getting on spirit and that's who gonna make it through because you know, spirit is like a roach.

[B]

They hard to get.

[A]

Spirit is like Soul Plane.

[B]

Have you seen Soul Plane? That was the first time I ever seen Kevin Hart.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I'll never forget it.

[A]

Yep, that's spirit. They gonna with Monique and Snoop Dogg and all of them.

[B]

Well, I also love United. Thanks. United. We had a little partner. So I do love. I also love Delta.

[A]

I'm a Delta girl, but you know who treated me well?

[B]

Emirates girl. I've heard that's, that's, that's like the Narnia of flights. Is it amazing? I've heard.

[A]

Oh my God, it was amazing. I flew first class Emirates to Dubai with a client and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I mean it was. It's everything they say in one.

[B]

My stomach just turned over. It's amazing.

[A]

I mean but I will say it Was also the worst thing that's ever happened to me because how can you go back to flying coach? Not even coach. Basic economy. Because I'd be a basic economy girl. How can you do that, girl?

[B]

I flew a brand. Flew me first class air. I wish I could tell toy too.

[A]

You do a good job. You do a good job.

[B]

I once flew first class Air France.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I once flew first class Air France. A brand I didn't fly at.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God. I might as well have been flying in the belly of the Eiffel Tower. Tower.

[A]

It's true. And the flights go by so fast when they're luxurious and nice and you can lay down and you have pajamas and wine the entire time. A delicious meal. The flight attendants are so attentive. It's fabulous. The fairy godmother.

[B]

We're on the show. I'm just gonna keep talking to you.

[A]

I guess so.

[B]

Hell, I love you guys. I know. This was an extra crazy episode.

[A]

Quite frankly, we didn't know we were recording today.

[B]

We had four hours before we needed to be here.

[A]

So if we're keeping it real.

[B]

I found out at the gas station, I was like, oh, shit. We were recording today.

[A]

We both did not know.

[B]

No clue. I thought I was gonna.

[A]

Okay, yeah.

[B]

And I'm driving here. I was like, I wonder what we're gonna talk about. I don't know. None of this is planned if you couldn't tell.

[A]

Nope. Rarely do we plan. But this was not planned.

[B]

Look at this sweat. Looks like I paid myself.

[A]

I've never known anybody that sweats in their crotch.

[B]

Fuck you. Everybody sweats in their crotch. You dirty bitch.

[A]

You the one with put a big ass heart in your crotch, an inkblot in your crot.

[B]

I'm like a squid.

[A]

Is that from a.

[B]

No.

[A]

Hell, she's sweat, she's sweaty.

[B]

That's all right for all of our listeners. I've been sweating through my linen pants and it looks like I've wet myself. Oh, I love many things about you.

[A]

But this is one of them. You be in dresses, it don't matter. It kills you.

[B]

Well, it doesn't help that I'm not wearing any panties.

[A]

That'll do it because they meant to.

[B]

Catch a little something. I found a pair in my glove compartment the other day and I remembered they were bothering me so much on the way to the city that I pulled over, took them off and put them in my glove and compartment. And I thought, I'm done.

[A]

I'm tired of this, grandpa.

[B]

That's too damn bad.

[A]

Keep digging.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. Time for church announcements.

[A]

Okay. Aunt Shirley will be doing fish fries this week in the parking lot. As you all know, she will continue to have the chicken because that went over real well with y'. All. She will be adding some sauce options. You can bring your own because we've heard some requests for Chick Fil a sauce. She can't do that, but she can have some barbecue. She can have some mustard. So if you want something different, bring your own sauce. Many of you have asked about Aunt Mary. She did make it back to Worship team last week, and it was very good to see her back up on stage. The collection went very well for her hip surgery. It is on schedule for two months from now. So if you can help with Roland Mary to the car after service. Please stay back and see Deacon Brown. He will be able to guide you towards where she'll be. She'll need your help. Devonte. I think that's his name. Lord hell. Devontae. Devontae is on his second week of being on Worship team on the drums. He has proven me wrong. I'm happy to be wrong in this instance. He's doing well. Y' all helped him with the clap up there, and he's got his confidence up. Don't nod too hard, young man. You are still on the chopping block. These youth, my God, I hate devontae for no reason. He'll never be confident.

[B]

He never believe in himself.

[A]

That's how it is.

[B]

It's crazy. Okay.

[A]

Yes. We will be taking a collection this week for Devonta's Safety patrol trip to Washington, DC. He's about $300 short, so if y' all can put some in together, we can send him up to DC with all his friends. That was very successful last year for Lil Beybie in the corner, and she had a great time. So let's go ahead and send devonte up there, too. And lastly, and this one, I hate to say it. I really didn't want to have to bring this up, but it is becoming an obvious issue. Today in service, Deacon Brown and Deacon Larry were spotted brawling. Brawling in the parking lot at the Dollar General just across the street. We all know it happened, and we really didn't want that brought in here into service today.

[B]

Take it up with the Lord.

[A]

Take that up with him above, not with us. I don't wanna see y' all sitting next to each other. Cause you're making everybody real uncomfortable. I don't wanna hear it. Sit down, y'. All. Get it together. This is a good house. So if you see them together, steer clear. I don't know what else to tell y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

It was real good to see everybody at the live show last week. We had a great time with y'. All. And make sure that you keep up with reading your book because that'll come up real fast. And I want to hear. We don't want to hear that nobody didn't have time to read the book. You got time. All right. Y' all have a good week now. Bye.

[B]

Bye. Bye.

[A]

Bye. Bye.

[B]

Well, tribe diva. And remember, we're your girls in Alaska. You can come for me if you want. That's what you're gonna get. That's what you're gonna get. Alaska? Cause we're your girl? Hey.

[A]

Cause I like I do.

[B]

Where your girls is hosted and executive.

[A]

Produced by darren delaney Smith and her friend Tiffany singled in management by social media. Produced good best media Tiffany du the next part. Do I do it in a tiny voice?

[B]

Nah, just do it in a normal voice.

[A]

Follow us on all platforms at WearYourGirlSpod and Doug Limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty mutual.

[B]

But now we want you to feel it. Cue the emu music.

[A]

Limu.

[B]

Save yourself money today. Increase your wealth. Customize and save. We save. That may have been too much feeling.

[A]

Only pay for what you need at libertymutual. Com Liberty Liberty Liberty. Liberty savings. Very underwritten by Liberty mutual insurance company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.