Shine Bright Like A Dimond (Heist)

Summary

We're Your Girls — Episode Summary

Episode: Shine Bright Like A Diamond (Heist)
Hosts: Taryn Delaney Smith & Tiffany Singleton (Good Mess Media)
Date: November 7, 2025

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode blends classic best-friend banter, hilarious stories, and heartwarming moments of sisterhood, with a focus on everyday "messy magic," financial confessions, and an unexpected sideways dive into the recent Louvre jewel heist. Taryn and Tiffany toggle between lighthearted personal tales, book club gripes, absurd hypotheticals, and pop-culture commentary, channeling their signature humor and candidness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Wisdom Tooth Woes & Sisterly Support

• Tiffany’s wisdom tooth infection brings out Taryn’s over-the-top nurse fantasies ("the movie Misery").
  • Memorable Moment: Taryn playacts taking care of Tiffany at "the manor," plotting pampering (and nail polish layers) and joking about the all-important task of "cleaning her holes."
  • [01:10] Taryn: "It's gonna make the movie Misery where you're stuck in a bed and it's just me sitting at the end of the bed laughing with you, watching you because I am obsessed with you."
• Discussion of dental procrastination, oral surgery horror stories, and the power (or lack thereof) that comes with aging teeth.

2. Friendship FOMO & “The Light” Running Joke

• Taryn reveals an upcoming trip to Ireland and London for a friend’s wedding, which Tiffany learns about from other friends, sparking playful accusations of betrayal.
  • The catchphrase "the light" becomes an inside joke, shouted amid mock “outrage.”
  • [04:42] Tiffany: "Don't make me laugh when I'm mad at you. It's blinding."
• Both admit to going out when they swore they wouldn’t; mutually calling themselves "trifling."
  • [06:31] Tiffany: "We'll call a spade a spade and move on. We're both trifling. How about that?"

3. Frivolous Spending & Family Money Habits

• The hosts confess to silly, impulsive purchases: bidding on art, extravagant travel, shoes, and home goods.
  • Taryn relates her dad’s elaborate, hidden train set from childhood—a major, secret hobby—sparking nostalgia and laughter about “strange” family hobbies.
  • Tiffany notes her family’s obsession with full furniture sets and expensive rugs, “sitting rooms” off-limits to children.
    • [13:41] Tiffany: "Plastic off the sofa in the den. We could not go in the dens. Yeah, the nice rugs."

4. Book Club Blunders & Romance Novel Rants

• Neither has started the current book club pick; Taryn is stuck in a "terrible" Navy SEAL romance trope, critiquing "forced slow burns."
  • [16:10] Taryn: "But we can't be together because Dalton, he didn't want this for you."
• Unfiltered critique of the tropes and pacing in fantasy and romance:
  • Sarah J. Maas’s series (A Court of Thorns and Roses / Throne of Glass) and the exhaustion of series with endless “warrior heroine” plots.
    • [23:33] Taryn: "It's always... the heroine, she's always somehow at the center of this war that she never wanted to be a part of."
  • Stephanie Meyer and the “three-book magnum opus” model get lauded for brevity.
  • Warm call-out to listeners about being behind on the club: “We’re the worst book club in America.”

5. Brunch Stories & Horse Girl Antics

• During brunch, Taryn startled by a loud noise, rears back “like a stallion.”
  • [26:17] Taryn: "I resembled a stallion being startled."
• The running joke: Taryn is a horse magically transformed into a girl for a day, much to Tiffany’s delight.

6. Homestead & Chicken Naming

• Taryn has acquired pet chickens—names include Chickolis Cage and Princess Diana.
  • Ongoing bit about coming up with “punny” chicken names, like Hennessy and Marinate (“Mary Nate”).
    • [29:44] Taryn: "Marinate would be a funny name."

7. Pee Stories & Pantyhose Hazards

• Both hosts hilariously recount having accidents—peeing through panties, the perils of wearing pantyhose, and the challenges of adult bladders.
  • [36:45] Taryn: "And I realized... the pantyhose were still on. I'm, like, peeing through these stupid pantyhose. But I couldn't stop the flow."
• Brief aside about Kegel exercises and vulnerable bladders, especially after childbirth; anticipation of embarrassing “red carpet” moments.
• Reference to Kim Kardashian and red carpet fashion as modern-day armor and performance.

8. Jewel Heist at the Louvre

• The BIG headline: Priceless “crown jewels” stolen from the Louvre, heist-style by construction worker imposters.
  • Fascination with how “cartoonishly simple” the plan was—no laser grids, just a truck and some costumes.
  • Imaginary heist movie starring themselves, jokey “script writing” of the operation and inevitable blunders (like dropping an earring on getaway).
    • [43:12] Tiffany: "And I'm like, the earring!"
    • [43:46] Taryn: "I'm one hand driving this bitch. The wheels are only ever— Stop those girls! That's amazing."
  • Discussion of thieves likely breaking down jewels, rarity of recovering stolen art or gems.

9. Community, Listener Love & Signature Humor

• Reflecting on the joys of consistent podcasting and listener engagement:
  • [45:28] Taryn: "We're gonna be consistent because we love how much you... you guys want to watch."
• "Church announcements" segment—satirical, church-lady-style updates on everything from hot sauce fundraisers to congregation drama to praying for chickens and the NY Giants.
  • [47:27] Tiffany (as church lady): "Please do pray for the chickens that they make it through this cold season... I'm team chickens belong on the table, but if we're gonna keep them in the coop, let's make sure that they are safe."
• End with extravagant declarations of love between the hosts, then puncturing the moment with deadpan or playful reticence.
  • [49:13] Taryn: “If I ever found out anyone harmed you or any harm befell you, I would avenge your death like a fictional villain... Your turn.”
  • [49:42] Tiffany: “I love you, too.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On friendship and mothering:
  • [01:53] Taryn: "That's the sound of me rubbing my little raccoon hands together. It's gonna make the movie Misery..."
• On frivolous spending:
  • [07:11] Taryn: "One glass of pinot grigio and texting you flights to Paris."
  • [08:07] Taryn: "I think everybody has this stupid thing that they spend money on..."
• On romance novels:
  • [16:23] Tiffany: "How about this? Bounce on it. And we've done everything but bounce on it. And that's pissing me off."
  • [23:33] Taryn: "It's always, they lose me."
• On chicken names:
  • [29:44] Taryn: "Marinate would be a funny name."
  • [29:56] Taryn: "Henrietta. Get it?"
• On the Louvre heist:
  • [40:38] Tiffany: "I was watching a video of how it happened. The thieves...masqueraded as construction workers and literally drove a construction truck up to the side of the Louvre..."
  • [42:06] Taryn: "This is like, you have one job: get everything. Dropped an earring. So all that was left were...down the hallway, an earring on the ground."

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Important Timestamps

• [01:00] - Dental stories, caregiver jokes
• [04:20] - “The light” friendship drama
• [06:20] - Admission of mutual trifling and friendship FOMO
• [08:00] - Hobbies & what families spend money on
• [14:44] - Book club confessions, bad-romance rants
• [23:33] - Critique of epic fantasy series length
• [26:17] - “I resembled a stallion being startled” (horse joke)
• [27:30] - Naming the new chickens
• [33:54] - Accidentally peeing through underwear/pantyhose
• [40:38] - Louvre heist breakdown and fantasy movie version
• [47:27] - Church announcements
• [49:13] - Over-the-top “I love you” declarations

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Tone & Style

The dynamic is authentic best-friend energy: quick, colloquial, and irreverent, with sharp wit and moments of genuine care and vulnerability. Running gags (like “the light,” cleaning holes, chicken naming puns, and “bounce on it”), pop-culture asides, and scene-painting tangents make this an episode that feels like a hangout—equal parts laughter, commiseration, and “real talk.”

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For First-Time Listeners

Expect a whirlwind of sisterhood, confessions, and comedic improvisation—plus a little true crime, book shade, and philosophical musing about what we treasure (literally and metaphorically). Even if you drop in just for the Louvre heist or stay for the girl-horse jokes, you’ll leave feeling like you’ve just wrapped a long, laughter-filled call with your favorite friends.

Transcript

[A]

If you used Babbel, you would. Babbel's conversation based techniques teaches you useful words and phrases to get you speaking quickly about the things you actually talk about in the real world. With lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts and voiced by real native speakers, Babbel is like having a private tutor in your pocket. Start speaking with Babbel today. Get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription right now. @babbel.com Spotify spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com Spotify rules and restrictions may apply.

[B]

Cause we're your girls. Hey.

[C]

Cause I like how you do. How you been girl? What's up?

[B]

I don't know. Tiffany, what is up with you? What's it like being the coldest, baddest bitch to ever fucking walk the earth? What's it like being the downest dame that ever lived in the continental us? What's it like being the coldest, nastiest fucking. You take a stage. The earthquake spine looking motherfucker ever lived in this world? What's that fucking like? What's it like to sit up in bed every fucking day thinking damn I look good. What's that like? What's it like to never know?

[C]

I wanna answer but you can't. I'm like, I could have kept going today. It hurts cause my wisdom tooth is infected.

[B]

No, I know, I thought you got those out.

[C]

It's the other side. I didn't get em out.

[B]

You ended up. You were supposed to get them out and then when your infection cleared up, you put it off.

[C]

I put it off and so now this one's infected. I went to the dentist yesterday and she was like, why are you back with the same problem? And I was like, cause I didn't get them taken out back to me.

[B]

Tiffany, get your wisdom teeth out and then I'll come take care of you at the manor.

[C]

I knew you'd say it, Taylor. I called my sister yesterday and she was like, one of us will come up and take care of you. I was like, ah, ah, ah, ah, don't talk too fast because I know Taryn will volunteer her services immediately. And you did.

[B]

That's the sound of me rubbing my little raccoon hands together. It's gonna make the movie Misery where you're stuck in a bed and it's just me sitting at the end of the bed laughing with you, watching you because I am obsessed with you.

[C]

Like please let me go home.

[B]

I'm like, okay, let's do nails First. And you're like, you've already painted them 16 times.

[C]

I have eight layers of nail polish.

[B]

Oh, this one needs to get fixed. I'm checking.

[C]

Yeah, I'll come to the man. Or come, I'll let you take care of me. I love that.

[B]

Come on up. You only really need probably like what, 48 hours?

[C]

I don't know. I've never had any kind of dental surgery.

[B]

And now that you're older, it's going to be harder because they're more grown in.

[C]

She said that too. She was like, the more you put it off, it's just going to be harder on you. I'm like, what am I, a geriatric patient now?

[B]

I don't understand the two. That's why you get them out in high school. Because the tooth is going into. It's going to hit a nerve. It's going to hit your jaw. They're deep. Teeth are real deep. So when I got mine out, it was the first. It's actually, I think for me looking back, it was more intense than I thought it would be. My wisdom tooth removal recovery was worse than my boob job. I remember being like, this is fine. Yeah. And it's your mouth. There's a lot of nerves in your mouth. And then you have to keep the holes clean.

[C]

Oh, my God. You gonna clean my holes?

[B]

You clean your holes.

[C]

I thought that this was an all inclusive retreat.

[B]

Keep your holes in and spheres over there.

[C]

Talk about that part.

[B]

I'm going to be in the doorway.

[C]

Clean them holes, painting my nails. You'll have nail polish in the doorway. Clean those holes.

[B]

Clean those holes.

[C]

No, I'll need to.

[B]

You don't want that. Yeah, you'll have. They give you a little.

[C]

The breathalyzer that you give the babies.

[B]

The breathalyzer.

[C]

I don't know what it is.

[B]

Not ever in the same thing.

[C]

Is it called the.

[B]

A squeezer.

[C]

Yeah. An aerator. And they put it in your nose and.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

They suck the boogers out their nose.

[B]

Yeah, One of those.

[C]

What is it called?

[B]

A nurse is listening to this going, you idiot, you're going get a squeeze your boozer. And like, you, like, you put warm salt water into it and it like flushes them out. And as long as you keep those clean and stay up on your little pain meds, you're fine.

[C]

I want no parts of that.

[B]

Yeah, but do it or else you're just going to keep getting infections.

[C]

I have to do it. I have to. I would planned on doing it maybe like within the next week or so. But you won't.

[B]

Will you be home in the next week or so?

[C]

It's okay. We can check later, but that's all right.

[B]

I'll do it on the show.

[C]

Okay. Just check.

[B]

Dinner with myself. I can't cancel that again.

[C]

Cancel that again.

[B]

Wallow in self pity.

[C]

Pre Thanksgiving. We'll say that. But not in October.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I'm here. Other than in November. I'm going to Ireland, which I found.

[C]

Out through the grapevine.

[B]

No, you didn't.

[C]

I said, this bitch didn't tell me a damn thing. No, no, no, no, no, you didn't. And when I found out, I said, oh, so everybody else is Taryn's best friend except for me.

[B]

Delight.

[C]

Good to know.

[B]

Delight. Delight. The light.

[C]

Don't make me laugh when I'm mad at you. It's blinding.

[B]

The light. The light.

[C]

I hate it.

[B]

I can't even do that whenever I get overwhelmed. The light.

[C]

The light is blinding. Kills me that you do like the.

[B]

Twist of the body while you d. Crazy.

[C]

You and the light. How long you gone?

[B]

Oh, just a couple days. Don't worry about me. I love Ireland. I'm going to my friend's wedding.

[C]

Oh, wait, this. Oh, yeah, okay, this. I did know it's her wedding. I didn't know that it was. Yeah, that came up faster than I thought.

[B]

She was married at a castle. And now we're going. And then because I've never been to London and I've always wanted to go. I'm in London 24 hours.

[C]

Take a sneak.

[B]

What's a sneak?

[C]

Just a little sneaky trip. A little sneaky trip over. Take a sneak.

[B]

Yes, me and my husband.

[C]

Oh, that'll be fun.

[B]

We're so excited. Okay, I'm going to come back with some. I'm going to be dusted up on my accents.

[C]

Wonderful. This is going to be so good. This is character work.

[B]

This is character work. I'm going to be like listening, so. And.

[C]

Oh, good. This is fun. So how long are you there for the wedding?

[B]

That's three days, four or five days. Trace is gonna house sit for us.

[C]

I heard through Trace, through the grapevine and through Tati. Through the grapevine. So I heard two bitches tell me that my best friend was gonna be out of the country. And I said, oh, shut up, Belike.

[B]

Anyway, I would actually be so mad if I found out on the grapevine you were going international. I know you would be, and I'm sorry about that. I won't do it again. That's all I would have told you if you would come to my house as planned on Saturday. Because we had plans on Saturday. And Tiffany texts me that she has to stay in. Then I go on her story and see she's out shaking her ass at a bar. Yeah, the light, the light, the light.

[C]

Oh, the light.

[B]

So I don't think I have anything to be sorry for.

[C]

Well, we'll call a spade a spade and move on. We're both trifling. How about that? It was unexpected, though, that I went out. That was not the plan. I did text Taryn and say, I gotta stay in, girl. I've overspent. I've done too much.

[B]

And then I literally go on her store the next day, and it's like, she's fucking out in the street.

[C]

I'm like, what? You're not lying? I had every intention of staying in my house this weekend. I really did. Lord. Except for football with Trey's. But other than that, I was not going out.

[B]

No. I'll say the thing, I'll be like, all right, we're going on a budget. We're doing this house renovation. We gotta save money. No money being spent.

[C]

None.

[B]

One glass of Pinot Grigio and texting you flights to Paris.

[C]

Why don't we just.

[B]

Why don't we just pop out?

[C]

Why don't we just pop out and I'm ready to book at a moment's notice. At a moment's notice.

[B]

Why don't we just take a skittle dab?

[C]

I was inches away. I'm bidding away. What?

[B]

Oh, no, go ahead.

[C]

You're inches away from what you're bidding on. What?

[B]

Oh. And then I was like, I'm in the corner bidding on art. Art in Austin, Texas. I don't know what I'm doing.

[C]

We spend our money very sillily. I tried to make it real. Very sillily.

[B]

Silly speech is better.

[C]

What's the proper way to say it? Very sillily.

[B]

Sillily. I like that.

[C]

Is that a word?

[B]

I like it. It can be a word. I don't care.

[C]

Very sillily.

[B]

We spend our money very similar. Very silly. Frivolously. You're speaking like you're from. You're an Aussie.

[C]

I was gonna say. But you.

[B]

We do spend our money. I think everybody has this stupid thing that they spend money on, though for some women, it's shoes, right? That's like the common one that women spend money on. Shoes. Yeah. Tiffany actually happens to fall into multiple categories of stupid shit to spend money on. But I don't think that your fashion is stupid. I don't think.

[C]

And we're gonna talk about stupid. I don't think.

[B]

I don't. But fashion makes you so happy.

[C]

It does.

[B]

That's a passion. I would include that as you, like, funding a passion. Our accountant is watching this. Like, no, that's not what that.

[C]

Tell her, no, stop spending it.

[B]

And then other people spend it. I think we pick and choose where we want to spend money. You know, my dad, he used to build full on train sets. And like, he would build like battleships and trains.

[C]

Oh, does this make sense? Yes.

[B]

They look like real life, but they're small.

[C]

Yes. They're like, to scale. To scale. Like little. There's a name for it. I know exactly what you're talking about. I have a cousin who's fixated on doing that as a kid. So we, the family, like, bought these gifts over the years.

[B]

And it's an expensive ass, cheap. And he hid it in the basement so that my mom came over to pick us up every other week and she wouldn't see you. The like, bitch when I tell you I'll never forget this. I love my dad. So I remember this house really distinctly. It was in West Seattle and you had the first floor and it was like a normal house. And then you go down these stairs and you go down the second hallway and there are these two double doors, okay? All carpeted, by the way. 1980s carpet.

[C]

As these things work.

[B]

You open the doors when I tell you. Bitch. It was like mini Narnia. It was like.

[C]

Like Christmas train scenes and shit.

[B]

Styrofoam Moun mountains. I'm telling you, Styrofoam mountains. I have it so clear in my memory. It sounds made up. The mountains were everywhere. It looked like he also based it on Austria because, you know, my dad loves Austria.

[C]

He likes Austin.

[B]

So it looked just like it. And then there was also the Nintendo 64 and an old TV in the back. But then he eventually built on top of that too. We couldn't even get to it after a while. Every time he walked in, it was like the beginning of the Titanic when she goes. I can still smell the fresh paint and the scene changes. That's me remembering this shit. Mind you. We were allowed to play with the trains to an extent. You could push the button go and you could push the button to stop. Do not fuck around with the fucking train sets. Because this was my dad's passion, bitch.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I also. He'd get mad because I'd come in and he Also built battleships. Right. So it'd be this really realistic little mini Austria.

[C]

Build the train. I love the trains. Did they puff steam?

[B]

No, because they were. They were like tgv, like speed trains.

[C]

Got it. Got it.

[B]

They would go through a tunnel. We used to, when my dad wasn't paying attention and we were really bored, we'd go in and all of a sudden I'd pick up like a battleship and I'd be like, a giant boat is coming through the town. And then, like, we'd move people around. We used to open the door for the cats and the cat that would climb into.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Into the. The.

[C]

Were cats allowed in there? No, it was completely off limits.

[B]

Time inside the tunnels. And then I remember one time we were around, they're having a good time turning the trains on. The cats are chasing them. It's crazy. And my dad comes in and he's like, hey, who's in the train room?

[C]

I'm like, oh, oh.

[B]

So I'm like, we've reset everything back up here.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Sitting there. My dad comes in, he's like looking around. He's like, you guys playing responsibly with the train? Like, yeah. And then you look and all of a sudden his cat is named Thor.

[C]

No.

[B]

Oh, no, it's Otis. Otis, tail out of the. His little tail was coming out of the tunnel. He was like the townspeople crazy. Oh, I love my dad. This was a crazy tangent for me to go on. Just talking about people spend their money on different things. And I think it's interesting.

[C]

It is interesting. I'm trying to think, does anyone in the Singleton clan have anything strange?

[B]

What do you guys spend your money on? In the comments? Like, what do you spend money on? Are you got a weird hobby? You like quilting? That's not weird. I wasn't trying to.

[C]

I was gonna say, hey.

[B]

Quilts are a great thing to do. I was just curious if you do.

[C]

Quilting's fun.

[B]

We all need a quilt.

[C]

I feel like my. My family spends money on furniture.

[B]

What do you mean?

[C]

Like furniture sets. Like, over the years, I can distinctly recall eight different full furniture sets.

[B]

Raymore Flanagan, 15 set, bedroom set. With the. With the wood, all of it and stuff.

[C]

And it would make its way to different family members once nanny and papa and my mom or uncle or whatever got tired of it. So it's. They stay in the family rotation. But then people won't spend money on traveling, they won't spend money on clothing, but they will buy an 18 piece set with an armoire like, there.

[B]

That is that.

[C]

Remember that. And Nano will be like, yeah, turn it around. It's a stain right on the back of it. We're like, oh, okay. Yeah, great.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's what my family spent money on. Good furniture. And like, oriental rugs that we couldn't. They always had dens, like, sitting rooms that we were not allowed to go in as kids. And now I understand why. Because These rugs were $15,000. Geez, who needs that much rug? That's an exaggeration. But they were expensive rugs to be in a house for no reason.

[B]

Yeah. I was thinking, did you have a. What was like a rule as a kid? Do you. Can you think of a rule as a kid?

[C]

That girl. Plastic off the sofa in the den. We could not go in the dens. Yeah, the nice rugs. And there was plastic on the sofa. And the sofa likely came from my great grandmother's house from the 60s, who knows? And we could not go in there. Like, really ornate. It was cute. Like, I. Thinking back as a kid, I'm sure it wasn't as ornate, like, as an adult. I'm thinking back, like, I guess it was like a normal living room, but as a kid, it felt like the palace. Like, you do not go in there. You take your socks off. Like, you go around. If you're going. Trying to get to the living room, you cannot walk through the dentist. Yeah, we need to bring those back. I can't do that in myself.

[B]

That are off limits in our home.

[C]

For no reason whatsoever. My whole home, you can see from the front door. So I can't do that. But maybe you can.

[B]

Maybe I can make a room that I just tell everybody, you can't go in there.

[C]

Don't go in there.

[B]

They finally get on the other side, and it's an empty room. And I'm like, that was a desk. I'm standing in a cloak in the back corner behind a lone fern. That was a test.

[C]

Who failed the test? I'm screaming. Anyway.

[B]

Anyway.

[C]

Have you started the book? I thought about it on the way. I was like, oh, shit. Were we supposed to have read the book by today? I didn't read it, so no.

[B]

Okay. I'm reading something awful.

[C]

What are you reading now?

[B]

No, I didn't want to talk about it.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

It's so bad. I don't think I'm going to finish it.

[C]

It's the same book as last week.

[B]

No new one. I was like, let me try something. Before I read our book club book, I wanted.

[C]

What is Wrong with us? I don't know. I don't know.

[B]

I'm sorry, you guys. We're the worst book club in America.

[C]

It's really bad. I'm the same.

[B]

I'm starting. I'm dead ass. I'm starting the book. I'm dead. I'm starting the book. Okay.

[C]

I gotta finish mine first. But then I'll be dead ass starting the book.

[B]

I don't know. I'm gonna quit the book. I'm reading. I don't even care a dnf. It was so even. No, it's. It's really probably the worst thing that.

[C]

I've read in a while.

[B]

It's this guy named Trent.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

And he. His best friend. His best friend. They were Navy seals. Friend has died. His little sister comes for help. Yeah.

[C]

They're in love. They're in lust on the paper.

[B]

This is a great trope.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

We love this forbidden best friend's little sister.

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

Like, also, there's some action because someone's now after her. Oh, God. You know, there's all these things in play. You'd think.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This shit is awful. It is just so badly written. I mean, the amount of times he goes. But we can't be together because Dalton, he didn't want this for you.

[C]

Dalton wants you.

[B]

What?

[C]

Dalton is gone. He's dead. Dalton's gone.

[B]

Just bounce on it.

[C]

I don't care.

[B]

I'm fucking 19 chapters in. Bounce on it. How about this? Bounce on it.

[C]

How about this?

[B]

Bounce on it. And we've done everything but bounce on it. And that's pissing me off. It's not realistic. If there was an actual good slow burn happening.

[C]

Yeah, because a good slow burn, you don't do anything. A longing glance is enough to get you through the next 17 chapters of the book.

[B]

Exactly. Exactly. In fact, a longing glance paired with. I can't tell if, like, he even likes me or not.

[C]

It may be unrequited. Yes.

[B]

But this is like. He's, like, cradling her in his arms in front of a fireplace. She's crying about her brother.

[C]

Uhhuh. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

He's wiping her tears away, and he's like, I would do anything to protect you. They met 10 minutes ago.

[C]

Weird, weird, weird.

[B]

You're. You're forcing the slow burn. But they might as well. He. He felt her body pressed against him.

[C]

All right, so bounce on it. Bounce on it okay.

[B]

So bounce on it A whole lot of talk I finally understand Loosened up my buttons, baby that was such an aggressive song.

[C]

My mom bought us that album. When? I think it came out when I was 8. She would not let us say the name of the group. We could not say the Pussycat Doll. We could only call them the Cat Dog. But I kid you not, I love.

[B]

That she still bought you the album, girl.

[C]

Lanita bought us CDs. Dangerously in love was the first Christmas gift I remember getting at 6 years old. Knew every song on the record. It just is what it is. But we could not say Pussycat Dolls. We had to call them the Cat Dolls. But Buttons, bitch. She put that CD in. In the back of that Nissan Altima we be vibing.

[B]

She's so mean to this man. You keep saying you're a big butt, but I can't agree. Cut this. And I imagine this man sitting there.

[C]

Big as hell, Celia.

[B]

Butt naked, just socks on. And he's sitting there like this. He's like, can we kiss maybe? You keep saying you got something for me, but you don't do shit. And he goes, okay, well, maybe I can loosen up my buttons, baby. She's so mad at him.

[C]

So he. Oh, so he's the one that won't make the move.

[B]

He won't make the move.

[C]

She's aggressing him.

[B]

Kind of. She was like, at one point, they go, they're going to go to dinner. And she's like, I'm going to get really dressed up so he knows that he's missing.

[C]

I'm like, what the fuck? See, this is how I don't relate to the girls. When I want it, I go after it. I'm like, I just want it.

[B]

And she comes out of the bathroom. His jaw hits the floor.

[C]

Yeah, it does.

[B]

You look pretty. I'm sitting there. Guess what I'm thinking? Bounce on it.

[C]

And she doesn't.

[B]

She doesn't. They go out to dinner. They had a pizza. And then the pizza scene goes on. 100 pages. She felt the ooey gooeyness of the cheese and did it. I know. What. What are you gonna tell me next? That you're lactose and you're going to shut your brains up?

[C]

Probably go and bounce on it.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

It's a Beyonce song. Bounce on the shit dance Bounce on the shit dance dance Bounce on the dance Bounce on the. No hands, period. Yeah. So you got to stop that.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I'm not going to fit it.

[C]

But this is the gag. I can't guarantee that the game plan will be any better. I don't remember. But I remember really liking it when I read it. So when did you read it? This was years ago. Years ago. Probably like high school. It's been a while. Our tastes have changed. She may be in for a bad read. But listen, we're all in it together. It's gonna be pretty bad Chow. We'll find out.

[B]

Well, I've had two bad reads in a row, so I really need this to be good.

[C]

I'm on book four of the Fae Romance, so I'm. I'm locked in. So I'm. Four bad reads in a row. The name of the series is. I think it's Fighting Destiny.

[B]

I'm currently. You told me that the first book was really good.

[C]

No, the first book is the really bad one. Then the second one gets better. So by book four, I'm like, why are we still here? I know, but I gotta finish the series before I can start the book. I'm almost there.

[B]

This is my unpopular opinion and I can't believe I'm gonna say it. I can't believe I'm gonna say it to the audience. Cause now this book series, people have requested we read many times. Oh, Throne of Glass. Throne of Glass. Guys, listen. The first book, fantastic. Second book, it was dragging, but I was willing to sit it out because you guys told me it was such.

[C]

A good thing because everyone says, keep going.

[B]

I got to like, I don't know, the fifth book or something.

[C]

So when I had. This is the one romantasy one that I have not read.

[B]

People love it. Throwing up glasses by the same people.

[C]

It's Sarah J. Whatever.

[B]

Sarah J. Maas. The same people. I'm just the same woman that wrote Sarah.

[C]

That wrote Sarah James that wrote Sarah J. Mac.

[B]

She wrote.

[C]

She wrote Throne of Age and Beauty with all the names. Hold on. We'll get it. We'll get it.

[B]

A Court of Throne and.

[C]

Court of Throne and Crown.

[B]

She wrote A Court of Whatever.

[C]

A Throne in Glass. Wait, no, that's really not it. You fucked it up. People are. I really thought that was it.

[B]

The Court of Thorn and Roses. The Court of Thorns.

[C]

Thorn and Rose. No. Yeah. A crown.

[B]

This is what reading too many romance novels does to you.

[C]

Because they're all titled like this.

[B]

A Crown of Bones and revenge. That's.

[D]

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[B]

We should write a sitcom. Like a spoof fantasy with some dumb name like that, but it's like, takes up the whole page. A court of throne.

[C]

A court of crowns, glasses and thrones. That may hurt when you sit down on top of it, but if you make it through that.

[B]

Tiny writing by Terence Smith and Tiffany Singleton. Oh, shit.

[C]

But it'll be a hit. What? Well, hell, now I gotta look it up. What is the name of the series? It doesn't matter.

[B]

The point is, Thorns and Roses is the first one. Yes, Akotar. Wait.

[C]

A court of thorns and roses. Period.

[B]

Anyway, she wrote that, and I was ready to read this, expecting it was gonna be just as good. Don't get me wrong. The writing, actually, I would argue, was.

[C]

Stronger than an Acotar. Yes, Acotar did come first. Yeah. So it was.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So this one, 2017 writing.

[B]

So this one, the writing is really strong. It's great. But at the same time, by, like, the fourth, fifth book, guys, I tried. It wasn't even about the lack of bouncing on it. It was more so that it was like, we got to do something about these books about the warriors going to war. Like, she, the heroine, she's always somehow at the center of this war that she never wanted to be a part of. It's always. She never wanted to be a part of it.

[C]

She's sickly in 17.

[B]

Yeah. But somehow she has the keys, you know, to end the universe war.

[C]

She doesn't know it.

[B]

She doesn't know it. And then halfway through, she's like, maybe if I just believe in myself, I can end the war. And I'm reading it like, yeah, believe in yourself. But it's something about them. What happens is they go on for books and books and books. It's always, they lose me.

[C]

It's like, stop it at three. Cap it at three. We don't. You don't need six. Six is a lot. For a store, a plot.

[B]

Six is a lot. I mean, listen, it's. It's we're not an I love the.

[C]

Lord of the Rings, but those days are gone.

[B]

Those days are gone. Our attention spans are shot. Stephanie Meyer had it figured the out with three magnum opus. I don't even know what's the definition of the word magnum opus. A large and important work of art.

[C]

There you go. Good job.

[B]

Especially one regarded as the best work of an artist.

[C]

The light. Good job. Words, vocabulary, vernacular.

[B]

Stephanie Meyer wrote three magnum opus sized books. Huge. Okay? Huge. And it covered everything. It did. It was a span. This woman's whole life changed in a matter of six months. She's a normal teenager in school. That stinks.

[C]

Wait, there's four. I'm sorry, bitch. I couldn't let you go on because they was going to come for you. Twilight, New moon, Eclipse, Breaking down, part one and two.

[B]

The light, the light, the light, the light.

[C]

Y' all better put some spec on my girl's name because she didn't know what she was doing.

[B]

I like that you're immediately defending me.

[C]

Oh, no. No one's coming for you. But I'm ready. Hey, she didn't mean that.

[B]

Go ahead. Stephanie Meyer had it figured out.

[C]

She was doing her thing.

[B]

This NFL book better be good. We're gonna read it. We're gonna get to it. I can't wait. Actually, I'm gonna. I think this will be the best book club yet.

[C]

I hope so. I hope so. We should ask people if they've started it and what they think.

[B]

They probably are girls.

[C]

Resounding thumbs down.

[B]

We finished it months ago, a month.

[C]

Ago, when you told us to. Sorry. So Taryn and I, after we record podcasts, we'll usually go grab brunch somewhere. Some were cute. Somewhere in the area.

[B]

It's one of my favorite.

[C]

It's fun. So we went last week to go grab brunch. And as we're sitting in the restaurant, there was a loud commotion. Crash. Were the only ones in there also, so it felt extra loud. And I react as one does, like, huh? And then tell them what you did.

[B]

I went to react, but then I realized I was being too much halfway through. So I went and I resembled a stallion being startled. I was like.

[C]

And then we had you reared back like a horse.

[B]

And then we had this ongoing joke that I'm a girl, that I'm a horse that wished to be a girl for a day. And. And I'm trying to blend in at a restaurant. We laughed about this for the next 40 minutes.

[C]

Do the you like.

[B]

I think I'm blending so well. Anyways, do you have any carrots? I see there's a carrot soup on the menu. This sent Tiffany. I don't know if anyone at homozygous.

[C]

No one's gonna think this is funny.

[B]

Tiffany was. I don't think. I don't think I've made her laugh like this.

[C]

I'm undone still. And it was a week ago. It is so funny.

[B]

Taryn, anytime.

[C]

That's how I know you, my friend.

[B]

Anytime something happens now, and it's crazy, I turn to her and I'm like, I'm sorry.

[C]

Because you do it so well. You sound like a horse.

[B]

No, I don't.

[C]

I sound like a girl.

[B]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[C]

Oh, my God, it's so funny. What's become of our sense of humor?

[B]

I know it's devolving.

[C]

So how are things on the homestead?

[B]

I got chickens.

[C]

I know.

[B]

I got them yesterday.

[C]

Oh, my God. They're actually there.

[B]

I love them.

[C]

Have you named them?

[B]

I've named two Chickolis, Cage and Princess Diana.

[C]

Okay. Period.

[B]

And I need. I like. I'm toying with the idea of the name Hennessy for one of them.

[C]

I love Hennessy because.

[B]

Hennessy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But the more thanks. That one got Trey's, you know. Kiss him, Missy.

[C]

I've never seen her last. This is my horse girl.

[B]

Your version of it.

[C]

It's really stupid, but funny.

[B]

This is my fucking crowd, in case that went over your head. I know you're kind of. I know you're kind of stupid. Hennessy. It's Hennessy. You know, the alcohol.

[C]

I know you're kindness.

[B]

It's a play on words. If you. Because they're chickens, they're also called hens.

[C]

Hens. I think I already told you about the cat Nudicris. And Naked Minaj. Did I tell you about that?

[B]

It was the. I think I told you. I think a cat Nudicris.

[C]

I follow cats on the Internet and they're hairless cats. One is named Nudicris and the other is named Nicki Minaj. And so as you're naming the hens, I'm thinking of what?

[B]

You gotta name one.

[C]

I gotta think about it. Give me some time.

[B]

I have two without names. I have a brown one and a gray one.

[C]

Brown and gray.

[B]

And I already promised some. I already promised Kathleen, who's designing my kitchen.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That I'd let her name her one. Let her name one. So you gotta name the brown.

[C]

Give that hen away.

[B]

I won't. Okay, name her.

[C]

I've got to Think about it.

[B]

Maybe you'll have to come and take a look at her. You gotta hold ahead.

[C]

I've gotta hold a hand.

[B]

They're very therapeutic.

[C]

Are they tiny? Oh, you have, like, full size hens now.

[B]

They have full adult hens. My. They're my. They were my neighbors and she gave me.

[C]

Yes. Okay.

[B]

I adopted them because she's moving. So I just sitting there holding them. And because they're raised with humans, they don't peck you or anything. They're really nice. I just sit. I sit in there and I talk to them and I pet them. Oh, I love chickens. I was afraid of chickens for many years. Yeah, because they're. They're discern. They're, you know, unnerving. But the more I've spent time with chickens, I love them.

[C]

Girl, I'll come up. I mean, I'll name a chicken. Give me some time. Help me name the chicken.

[B]

Yeah, you guys want to name a chicken? I'll give you a chicken.

[C]

No, it's not their chicken.

[B]

Oh, we have to classify this my chicken.

[C]

But y' all can help me name the chicken.

[B]

Let her think about it.

[C]

We'll marinate on it together.

[B]

Marinate would be a funny name.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

This is Mary Nate.

[C]

Mary Nate. You're really good at this. Okay, I'll think about it. What else? Come up with another one.

[B]

Henrietta. Get it.

[C]

That. I had Henrietta in the brain.

[B]

But I said, if you don't get it, it's because it's hen. And then Rihanna. I know, I know. You don't get shit like that. I know you don't be getting jokes because you're a little dummy, but you're a dummy because you a dummy bitch. I love people that talk like that.

[C]

You.

[B]

You really dummy. I had a co worker that used to talk like that. I fudgeing love her. She always go, oh, there was a girl in here earlier, she was dummy thick.

[C]

I love, like, hard New York, hard New York, hard Bronxers.

[B]

I fucking love her.

[C]

And that's an accent that does not go away. Like, Cardi b. Still talk like that.

[B]

And they have this, especially the women. Like, they have this. If you're, like, born raised New York. They also. They're so unafraid. I feel like to, like, take on, like, more of a, like, a deeper tone to their voice.

[C]

They all have a baritone.

[B]

Yeah, I love it.

[C]

She's a dummy. Like, damn.

[B]

Like, damn. Like, I. I love that accent. This is not me making fun of it. I think it's.

[C]

No, before we have a gaggle of Bronxers outside the door. I love y'.

[B]

All. It's not we love you. You're my favorite to talk to.

[C]

We love you guys.

[B]

There's no one more fun to have a gossip and chat with than a from New York. Than a New York.

[C]

You are not lying.

[B]

It's not one of these transplants.

[C]

No. As you and me, we sit.

[B]

You and me. Posers. Posers, yeah. Born bred New York, Bronx deep. And you come to them with something just salacious.

[C]

Why am I making noises now?

[B]

It's been a while since we've had some isolacious nasty.

[C]

No. Yeah. You sat down telling me you have tea. I can't wait to hear it once these cameras close.

[B]

I didn't say that.

[C]

You didn't?

[B]

No. But it's really. The tea I have is not even good tea.

[C]

Is that a sign of the times changing? Are we boring that we don't have deep, salacious tea anymore?

[B]

Bring back, Bring back corruption. No.

[C]

Oh, no, we got plenty of that. Got a lot of corruption.

[B]

What do we want to bring back?

[C]

Bring back.

[B]

Hold on, we're making a motion.

[C]

Hear ye, hear ye.

[B]

Bring back dastardly deeds done in the dark, but within reason and only by women.

[C]

I don't care to gossip.

[B]

Oh, I don't care what my men. Because men do that without us telling.

[C]

They do it in the light too. That's the thing. No, but we need a good gossip.

[B]

I need a good gossiping crazy.

[C]

Something crazy. Somebody's life needs to be upended so that we can have something to talk about.

[B]

That. That's awful.

[C]

That was bad.

[B]

Speaking of that. Oh, no, I'm kidding.

[C]

I hate us. Oh. Oh. We don't actually mean that. We love divas and we like stability in our friends lives. We really do. We do.

[B]

That's why we need to happen to somebody that we only know adjacently and have met a handful of times at a party.

[C]

And we only hear the tea through someone else.

[B]

And preferably they weren't very nice. So we don't feel bad for anything that's happened.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

And they brought it upon them.

[C]

I was gonna say. And beyond that this is their fault.

[B]

All I don't like. Please start weaving webs of lies that you cannot untangle yourself from. So I'll have something to talk to Tiffany about. Preferably. We can catch you in your web of life.

[C]

Oh, even more exciting. Even more exciting. Okay. This happened to me the other day and I thought of you.

[B]

What?

[C]

I had to pee really badly. And because I have adhd I hold my pee. Do you do that? Like, just. It is. It's like an ADHD thing because we.

[B]

Procrastinate everything, including relieving ourselves.

[C]

Beyond that. It's something that you don't want to do. So you're just like, ah, do everything else except for pee.

[B]

Yeah. That's. To me, I'll be like, literally have my hand on my cooch, and I'm like, watering.

[C]

I'm like, this. I know.

[B]

And I'm like, I should take a break.

[C]

I should pee. Yeah. And I just never want to do it. For whatever reason, even though I want to pee. Whatever neurodivergence I have to pee. I'm pee pee dancing at this point. And I'm like, o, o, o. I make it to the house. I'm running down the street, open the door. Winston's there. He's lapping at my legs. I'm like, move, dog. I make it to the bathroom, pull my pants off, and I pee. But I forgot to take off my underwear.

[B]

Oh, my God. That's happened to me a million times.

[C]

I knew it. I peed through my panties.

[B]

My panties and panties are often so thin that you don't realize it's happening.

[C]

And then you're like, oh, man. God dang it.

[B]

Story of my life.

[C]

Yes. And I was like, thank God I'm home, because I have done that in public. I did it in high school once. That was the very last time that I did it. And I swore I would never pee through my panties again. And here I am 10 years later, doing it.

[B]

Corey's.

[C]

But I was at.

[B]

You had to go. One time when I worked in diplomacy, we had to wear pantyhose all the time. Oh, pantyhose. I'd never worn pantyhose, ever. These aren't just tights. We're talking sheer. Sheer. Why are pantyhose made of spider web? Like, why?

[C]

I love it. Pantyhose.

[B]

But they're, like, the most delicate material. I could have a hangnail catch on that shit and rip my whole leg up the side.

[C]

My problem is my feet are rough. So when I put my pantyhose on and I slide my foot through it, I just get runs.

[B]

I'd get to the end of the day, and my feet would be busting out. Yes, the pantyhose. Because my. My orangutan toes ripped through the extraordinarily delicate material.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't understand it, but it was interesting. It was a requirement in this diplomacy agency that I wore a pencil Skirt and friggin. Actually, no. If I wore a skirt, you had to have. I didn't have. I wore my bare legs out one time and I got reprimanded. Oh, I'd never had that happen before. I was like, it's because I'm green, isn't it? They were like, no, you. Your legs look like you climb trees every day. Like, why are your legs so bruised?

[C]

Because I'm green.

[B]

I was like, oh, my God. So I said, wearing pantyhose.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You forget, though, they're so sheer that they don't feel like a type.

[C]

No.

[B]

You know, and one time I was working and I had drinking 19 espressos because people don't eat in France. We just drink espresso and smoke cigarettes and then maybe a piece of cheese.

[C]

Delicious.

[B]

So we're vibing, obviously. And I'm like, you know, I've had so many nespressos and I have to go pee. But I was throwing the middle of a really important event, so I'm putting off going pee, and I'm like, running all around. And finally I'm like, oh, that moment when you can't stand all the way up, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm like, oh.

[C]

And it hits you.

[B]

I've got to go. But I can't hunch back of Notre Dame with my hand on my vigil.

[C]

No.

[B]

In front of all these people. So I'm trying to, like, keep it cool.

[C]

The Tin man walk.

[B]

So that's how bad I had to go. I can't just that enough. And it gets to the point where by the time you see the toilet, you have to go even worse. And so now I'm like, kind of peeing as I, like, get into the door. And I was like, this is so dehumanizing, Jeffrey Du P. And then I sit and I was like, peeing. And I'm like, I made it. And then I noticed that I'm like, this is like a crazy sloppy pee. Like, what? And I realized that, like, the pantyhose were still on. I'm like, peeing through these stupid pantyhose. But I couldn't stop the flow.

[C]

Once you go, you go.

[B]

You can't stop the motion of the ocean. And the PS Blows. And my pantyhose.

[C]

Cause you can't stop the p. Because.

[B]

You can't stop the pee.

[C]

Oh, man. Have you ever peed on yourself? I peed on myself.

[B]

What do you mean? Have I repeat on myself?

[C]

I just told you that. No. Like, not in. At a toy.

[B]

Not on the Toilet.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Multiple times.

[C]

Which story do you want? I know. I'm like, which one?

[B]

I need Kegels. I gotta get in on the key.

[C]

And that's the thing. I'm a Keegler. I just have a weak ass bladder.

[B]

I follow this woman on Instagram who goes, are we all ready? Ready?

[C]

And she stops you when you're pausing or when you're scrolling and she's like, stop.

[B]

Three, two, one, lift higher. And my pussy is like.

[C]

I love Keebling.

[B]

Three, two, lift higher. You can do it. And I'm like, my vagina's like, I can't lift.

[C]

And then she's like, pulse and pulse and pulse.

[B]

My vagina is like the light.

[C]

It's too much. Please, we're done.

[B]

My vagina is. I'm imagining because of how often I pee myself. Is like Grandpa Joe, when Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory.

[C]

What?

[B]

Like he can get up and he can do what he needs to do.

[C]

But did not for 30 years.

[B]

Only if he gets a golden ticket. You know what I mean? But every other time he's like, he.

[C]

Will lay out he is sickly every other day of the year except this one day.

[B]

So anyway, so, yeah, no, I don't pee on myself. Especially when. When I say to you, please don't make me laugh, I'm gonna pee myself.

[C]

Oh, you mean that?

[B]

I mean it. And so many people think that you're just. It's a expression.

[C]

No, when you eventually have children, you'll have a weak ladder.

[B]

My mom has said it so many times. She's like, if you already have all these problems. She's like, I didn't start peeing myself till after I had two kids. And I was like, oh, that's not good. Yeah, I'm going to need a metal sphincter. I don't know. Yeah, can you reconstruct one for me?

[C]

One with like a cinch tie on it. You pull it back manually. Every time he's even finished peeing, I.

[B]

Have this intrusive thought and fear that, like, the next time I pee my pants, it'll be at like, my once in a lifetime. Like, I met the Golden Globes. The Emmys or something, which I hope I. I hope one day I get to go to the Golden Globes or the Emmys. That would be so cool. But knowing.

[C]

But you will not pee on yourself.

[B]

Catch long. Don't, don't. Don't tear into Laney Smith wet herself on red carpet.

[C]

I will make sure you're dressed in a diaper every Award show that you go to here on out. A poise pad. A really thick one, just in case.

[B]

I love that. And it's on brand for you.

[C]

Oh, yeah, Poise P. We'll just put.

[B]

PR at the end of the pad. That's a good puzzle.

[C]

That's the headline. Literally, Taryn Delaney Smith protected by poised pad.

[B]

Taryn wears dress made of diapers. And then I'm on the carpet. I'm peeing right now.

[C]

Oh, my God. Someone would do that.

[B]

That's some shit that would happen.

[C]

That's what I mean. Like, actually everything. Did you see Kim Kardashian showed up on the red carpet in a pantyhose? She could.

[B]

Hey, you know fashion. What was your opinion on that with the covered face?

[C]

If I'm not wrong, it was Balenciaga or something. So it makes sense for who the designer was. Kim has done this before, so I'm not surprised at all. But I was like, covered her face.

[B]

Which you couldn't see.

[C]

Yeah, she wore. That was a Met gala one year. She wore, like, literally a black stocking, essentially, with, like, jewelry. So she's done this. This is her bit. At this point, I'm not surprised. I mean, the dress was chic. I think the head covering was weird.

[B]

I don't know why I liked the dress, actually.

[C]

And the jewels, like, she had these gorgeous green jewels on. She looked great. Did you see the crown jewels were stolen from the Louvre?

[B]

Oh, I didn't know.

[C]

Did you see? I was watching a video, so I find out on air. I was watching a video of how it happened. The thieves cam masqueraded as construction workers and literally drove a construction truck up to the side of the Louvre and.

[B]

Had like a heist of all heists.

[C]

The heist of all heists. An inside job, or so it appeared. And they had one of those trucks that has a lift on it. They put it up against. They literally put it up against the Louvre. Walked in, stole the shit and came right back out. Crazy.

[B]

It's giving cartoon.

[C]

Literally, the circle, it falls out and.

[B]

You have like a. Wait, what are these?

[C]

Yes, exactly.

[B]

A cat, Puss in Boots and Shrek.

[C]

Yeah, they stole it. So sad. Gone straight out the loop. I think they'll get him back, though. Yeah, I hope so, because you can't wear, like. Usually the thought process is that they break the jewelry down and will sell the jewels themselves. Yes. That's why art thief or jewelry thievery is so upsetting, because you will never see that shit again. But these pieces are so Ornate and beautiful. No one's ever going to be able to, like, casually have that in their home or casually wear it. And it makes no sense to break these jewels down. I think they're going to get them back. Now, art, on the other hand, you.

[B]

Go straight to the pawn shop and it's there. And no, you're. You're the. And you go to the pawn shop and you're like, yeah, what can I get for this?

[C]

What can I get for this? The place where I pawn my iPad.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Crazy.

[B]

That is crazy.

[C]

I said, wow.

[B]

I can't believe it was. It was so easy.

[C]

So easy.

[B]

All these movies I watched all these years where they gotta go through the sewers and then they gotta go underground.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

And then you have somebody posing to make. Oh, I. I love these spy movies. I've watched too many of them.

[C]

What made me laugh, though, is that they dropped an earring on the way out.

[B]

Oh, this is like, you have one.

[C]

Job is to get everything. Dropped an earring. So all that was left were the empty cases and down the hallway, an earring on the ground.

[B]

That would be me, Guys, just go, go, go.

[C]

It's too late.

[B]

So I'm in there. Because it sounds like some shit we would accidentally.

[C]

Absolutely. I didn't want to say. I'm running.

[B]

I'm running for the door. I know, right?

[C]

Like, they still haven't found themselves two.

[B]

Black podcasters in New York. Talk through. I think it's because it was such a dumb plan. If I had heard this plan, I'd be like, that's never gonna work.

[C]

And it fucking works.

[B]

How about we all dress up as construction workers, drive a forklift. I just go get it.

[C]

Yeah, I'll hop in, I'll hop out.

[B]

And then as I'm running up, you drop it and you're in the car. And I'm going. And I'm going, go. And this is playing.

[C]

This is playing our favorite song.

[B]

And you're the man peeling out donut nest. Slow motion ear running. We finally have all the credules.

[C]

And I'm like, the earring.

[B]

Cause we can't believe it worked.

[C]

I believe it.

[B]

Tiffany.

[C]

Hey, proud I flooring here. The crane falls off the back of the straw. It takes out the whole side of the Louvre.

[B]

You have one of the jumpsuits on, but you're so damn tall. It's like.

[C]

We have our Prada sunglasses on, so it's easy to spot us. Like, everyone knows it's us. We are not.

[B]

I'm one hand driving this Bitch. The wheels are only ever. Stop those girls. That's amazing. That was so cinematic. I can see it.

[C]

We didn't take the jewels. We didn't do that.

[B]

But if we did, just know. That's how it would have gone down.

[C]

That's so funny.

[B]

That's the movie. Like, we need to write that movie.

[C]

Yeah. I wonder who did it.

[B]

They're gonna catch them.

[C]

There has to be some comedic edge to them.

[B]

I mean, everything has comedy. Everything can have comedy in it.

[C]

To have come up. Yeah, literally. That's almost hilarious to come up with that concept.

[B]

Like, it wouldn't have been funny if they had had some elaborate. No, I love that. There was two guys at a bar, and they were like, hey, what if we just hear me out. Yeah, look at me. I gotta say something real. We're gonna. We're gonna be construction workers. Okay. None have to say the same.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

You're gonna be in the jumpsuits, kids. But I'm gonna go.

[C]

No need for the jumpsuit.

[B]

Then I'm gonna go in. Yep. I lay eyes on the ground jewels.

[C]

I grab them. I grab them. Just grab them, Grab them.

[B]

Put them in pockets.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Get out of there.

[C]

You know, that's how they did.

[B]

Get out of there. Fast. Gather. Faster than you ever seen. I gotta run so fast.

[C]

Then I jump in the back, we gather, we're done.

[B]

And you're like, yeah.

[C]

Sober.

[B]

Yeah, we'll try it.

[C]

I just agree. Sober. Anyways. Anyway.

[B]

Anyways.

[C]

Well, this was fun.

[B]

Oh, my God. It's always fun. I love seeing you.

[C]

Love our time. We're being consistent. Consistent girls.

[B]

We're gonna be consistent because we love how much you. We always underestimate how much you guys want to watch.

[C]

Truly.

[B]

I think that's it. And I would say do that anymore.

[C]

Yeah. Y' all have been asking. We've been listening, and now we're doing.

[B]

All right, it's time for church announcements, guys.

[D]

Here we go.

[C]

Go ahead, sing us in.

[B]

All right, here we go.

[C]

Good for the chickens.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Sister Shirley will be outside this week with fish fry. She has introduced a new condiment to the menu. Crystal's hot sauce. Cousin Crystal was cooking that up in the kitchen last week. You know, we support small businesses in the church, so please do with your fish. Try it with some Crystal's hot sauce. It would really make a difference for her college fund. We have gotten some really unfortunate reports from some members in the congregation. We all talking about it. I'm just gonna address it. We gonna squash it right here. Sister Denise and Sister Rhonda, now, I know there will and has been some overlap in your relations with Brother John. That is not our business. I know y' all both fight for that solo every week. It got real awkward on stage this time because y' all was both trying to sing one part, and we couldn't really keep up the tambourinus. Sister Jolene was really struggling to hold that. That. That part down. So I know y' all got some issues in the relationship there. Please, we do ask that y' all keep it out of worship team and off the pulpit, or else next week we got to choose one soloist. We don't want to be put in the middle of that. So y' all handle that outside the church. Davarius. He is back in children's church.

[B]

He can't get your break.

[C]

We went back and forth. He is back in children's church this week. We gave him some time out in the sanctuary. He was running amok. We don't like it, you know, but we. We do what we can as a congregation to keep them together, and it didn't work this time around. So he's back in children's church. If y' all can donate some blankets. He does get cold while he's waiting back there during service.

[B]

Thank you, God.

[C]

Thank you, God.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

We did receive a prayer report from Sister Taryn Delaney. She does have some chickens, Chickens new to her property out. Out on the farm. Please do pray for the chickens that they make it through this cold season. There are coyotes out on the property. And, you know, I'm team. Chickens belong on the table, but if we're gonna keep them in the coop, let's make sure that they are safe. And lastly, please let us all say a prayer for Brother Burns. The Giants this week did struggle, as you all know, and let's just keep him in our prayers. His ankles also. Y' all be good. Bye.

[B]

Bye. Somebody said that to Brian Birth. Oh, my God. That's so good. Okay.

[C]

God bless.

[B]

Well, I love you more than life itself.

[C]

I love ya.

[B]

Your I love you was a little bit more lukewarm than mine.

[C]

I love you. Yeah. It's the end.

[B]

Yeah. I never let my skin kind of hold me back.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Yes. Because I. Yeah.

[C]

Every time. Jennifer Lewis. This is a bit about Jennifer Lewis before we close. Every time she brings this up, she consistently says, that lady, quote unquote, really pissed her off and scared the shit out of her.

[B]

And it just kills me. She was really trying to support me.

[C]

She was just trying to be supportive. Anyway, I love you. It was the antibiotic kicking in. I'm getting a little drowsy. Okay, so try it again.

[B]

Let's see. I love you more than life itself. More than the moon in the sky. More than the sun, stars. I love you more than the air and the sky. If I ever found out anyone harmed you or any harm befell you, I would avenge your death like a fictional villain. I would do it with such haste and vigor that it would be felt for generations. Your turn.

[C]

I love you, too.

[B]

And remember, we're your girls.

[C]

I was waiting.

[B]

Cause we're your girls.

[C]

Hey. Cause I like how you do.

[B]

Warrior girls is hosted and executive produced by Taryn Delaney Smith and Tiffany Singleton Management by social media. Produced by good mess media. Follow us on all platforms at warriorgirlspod.