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- [00:00]
Progressive Insurance Announcer
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- [00:33]
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- [01:04]
Howie Mandel
Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my How We Do It Gaming team take on Gilly the king and wallow. $267 million gaming in an epic Global Gaming League video game showdown. Four rounds, multiple games, one winner, plus a halftime performance by multi platinum artist Travy McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the champions match against Neo right now@globalgamingleague.com that's globalgamingleague.com everybody games.
- [01:51]
Narrator
Have you ever had that feeling, that tightness in your chest, the voice in the back of your head whispering to you that something's just not quite right? That sixth sense that evolution gave us to keep us alive, that primal alarm system that kicks in when danger is near, even when you can't quite articulate it? Every instinct is screaming at you. Turn around, walk away. Don't get on that plane, take the meeting or go down that road. Most of us in our comfortable lives rarely face moments where that feeling actually matters, where listening to it might be the difference between life and death. So when it comes, we rationalise it away. We tell ourselves we're being paranoid, overthinking, letting fear control us. But what if you're someone who regularly puts themselves in harm's way? Like, say, going to war zones, meeting insurgents and terrorists? What do you do when that feeling shows up before risky decisions? If you listen to it every time, if you let fear dictate your choices or you wouldn't be able to do your job, you wouldn't get that incredible story. So people learn to manage it, to distinguish between useful caution and paralyzing anxiety, to push through the fear when the risk feels worth it. But the question is always there, isn't it? How do you know when to listen and when that quiet voice of warning is trying to save your life?
- [03:23]
Singer
Moon in the sky I'm looking at the moon in the sky this shouldn't come as a surprise but I can't sleep War in my mind I'm trying to fight a war in my mind I don't know who's the winner tonight it ain't me.
- [03:54]
Narrator
Chapter 3 Fuck yeah. No one understands. So Sean Langan had made the astronomical jump from a journalist who was covering nightclubs, DJs and the party scenes of London and abroad to now covering war zones abroad. A field of journalism that often put him in extremely dangerous situations. And it wasn't always while conducting interviews with armed insurgents, because he has also spent a lot of time with those fighting on the other side. In fact, at the same time that he was creating the documentary Meeting the Taliban, he was also filming one called Fighting the Taliban, where he shadowed British troops and the Afghan National Police as they fought side by side against the Taliban for control of areas within the Helmand province. And to say things got dicey would be an understatement.
- [04:47]
Sean Langan
On dispatches tonight, the story of the Battle of Garam. Sir. A six day battle the Ministry of Defense didn't want you to see. A battle that raises questions about Britain's war on terror in Afghanistan. It turned out to be the most intense, biggest, one of the biggest battles of the entire time they were there in, in Helmand over the years and it was just intense. You know, there were hundreds of Taliban surrounding this small unit and it went on for about a week. And the army, British soldiers run out of ammo, food and they're having to be air supplied. So that was at the same period. And just to, to add a note, a serious note here, something was wrong with me, something was wrong with my logic. I, I had two children, you know, I, I have two children, but they were very young at that point. And, and the fact that I went back to make this other film when I got kidnapped a year, it was, you know, less than a year later. I always think of it that I was like Icarus, the Greek myth, Icarus who, who's flying ever closer to the sun and these wings he'd made out of feathers with his father. And his father had always warned this, don't fly too close to the sun. But he is forever drawn to the. This light. And he flies too close, the wings all melt and he falls to his death. When I look back on my childhood, you ask, you know, as a kid, I used to go on holiday to Portugal, I used to dive off cliffs. And what I liked about it was that sense of being on the edge and being terrified and then overcoming that as you do a dive. I'm doing myself a disservice, because what was the great love, for me, it wasn't the adrenaline junkie element, but it was actually the sense that you're doing real journalism, journalism that counts. Not like the lifestyle, celebrity journalism I previously done. That here was stuff I knew was being watched in Parliament or even indeed in. In place where decisions were being made, stories that affected all our lives, but also the real importance of trying to understand the other side in all these films. I'm always going with the other side, whether it's Taliban, the Arab insurgencies in Iraq, because it's very important. I think we see it less now in today's world, trying to see the other side's point of view. And now it's almost banned. You know, we're now cancelled if we dare interview Hamas or whatever side, or the Russians. You know, I'm a great believer as a journalist reporting all sides.
- [07:49]
Narrator
Time and time again. Shaun is placing himself in the most hostile places in the world to cover the most dangerous conflicts of the time. And he says he couldn't have been more fulfilled by what he was doing.
- [08:00]
Sean Langan
And it was also incredibly fulfilling that I was making these films. No, no one wanted to go with me. Creatively, to film, to edit, direct, is incredibly fulfilling. And, you know, when you're doing creative work, it's part of life to be creative in any shape or form, it's good. But I'm also having the time of my life in these places. For some reason, I couldn't stop.
- [08:51]
Narrator
I've watched many, many documentaries around the war in Afghanistan and also the Iraq war and other conflicts around the world. I've watched all of Shaun's work and there's a common theme that you sort of hear among those who have served, and it's about what happens when they come home. Because the thing that soldiers almost never say out loud is sometimes they want to go back. Not because they love the violence, not because they're adrenaline junkies, but because after months of dodging RPGs, after weeks sleeping in the dirt with a rifle across your chest. After days where every street corner could be your last, you come home and suddenly nobody understands you anymore. Your mates back here want to talk about football, the weather, meaningless things that feel impossibly small when you've spent every waking hour hyper alert, scanning rooftops, watching for movement, living in a state of focus so intense it's almost transcendent. And the men you served with, the ones who would have given their lives for you, who saw you at your absolute worst, well, for a lot of them, they're still over there. Then you're here. Safe, comfortable, but alone. It's a paradox that makes no sense to anyone who hasn't lived it. How do you miss a place that tried to kill you? How do you crave the company of war? But many soldiers do. Veterans have described it as the only time they ever felt truly alive. Former Special Forces soldier Jason Fox, who you may know from his now work on tv, said during a documentary that he created on his return to Afghanistan, was that part of ptsd, which is what he was diagnosed with, is knowing you won't relive the moments you felt most alive. And for some people, journalists, documentary filmmakers, war correspondents, this pull is just as strong because they choose to return again and again and again. Sean Langan chose it over and over again. Afghanistan, Iraq, the most dangerous places on earth. And each time he came home, something inside him whispered. Go back. At one point during the documentary fighting the Taliban, you have this conversation with this British soldier who is talking about how nobody understands what. What they've been through.
- [11:17]
Sean Langan
When you go home and you talk about what you've gone through, your normal person doesn't really understand. You try to explain it the best you can. No matter how hard you try, they don't. They don't understand.
- [11:31]
Narrator
It's just such an honest moment you had with this. This guy. It was so emotional and you could see he was pretty broken. I felt, you know, he was just. He'd had enough. I felt he was, but he was. He was there and he was doing his job. I wondered if your experience of it is the same as theirs, because obviously, I mean, you don't have a rifle in your hand, but you are there with them through everything. The bullets flying, the bombs dropping. And I wondered whether it was the same for you and why you kept
- [11:55]
Sean Langan
going back after that trip, that it was like, I think we were there eight or nine days. Every day felt like a lifetime. You're not sleeping a packed full of adrenaline. They were either Dealing with wounded, you know, I had to put my camera down to help with triage and, and then fighting, eating, very little time for sleep. And when you, when bullets fly past your ear and explosions, you just, your body gets just shot through with all sorts adrenaline cortisol and it's quite a phenomenal effect. So it's like a high, but not like a drug high because you're incredibly lucid and clear headed. But then when you're under real close fire, you know, an hour feels like a lifetime. You know, when you're trapped somewhere then it just, it becomes to that weak. But I remember going back to, you know, relating to the man with the beard. When I got back, even before I got back, I was in a hotel in Dubai and I'm in my hotel room and I wake up in a, having a nightmare of the dead bodies of the Afghan soldiers I'd seen. And some of them, the faces were recognizable because I had got to know them by face. And I'm looking at these bodies covered in dust like they would have been in the Afghan Helmand Desert. The sand, bit of blood, walking towards me and it wasn't frightening. There were kind of dead men walking towards me. I wake up like that's quite an extreme nightmare. And I turn the light on and there they are still walking towards me. And I had that twice in London where you wake up from a dream seeing the dead bodies of soldiers you were with walking towards you. You wake up and they're still walking towards you. But to me it was like this when you, it, it was such a powerful impression. It's like a Kodak Instagram photograph being taken at the moment. That image is so visceral on your brain, the memory of those people, the death, that it kind of leaves an imprint that takes a while to fade away. And that is when you see traumatic things. It, it's like footprints in the snow with the memories, but it's so powerful, it stays with you, you know. And some things, some experiences are so intense, so visceral, they never quite fade into the past tense. You know, with my kidnap it's very easy. Fifteen years later, 12, 15 years later, I just have to close my eyes, think of the moment and I'm back in that room. It's never really past tense. Now that soldier you're talking about, they've been ambushed only about four weeks before. You know, really bad ambush where they're coming down. Taliban attacked the front. Land Rover in the back, Land Rover in the convoy, they lost men, a man lost an arm, you know, so weeks before. So they're having. And you've seen that film. The relationships are incredibly intense. I mean, those soldiers didn't particularly like me. I'm a journalist. They're not predisposed to liking the journalist. Within five days, we were like brothers in arms. Relationships are forged. You go through a lifetime of emotions and then in their ca. Their case, they've been ambushed and lost these lifelong friends. You then call London and you have this distant call. It's always the telephone calls always feel so cold and lifeless. And then you come back and of course, yeah, no one understands. You know,
- [15:59]
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- [16:23]
Progressive Insurance Announcer
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- [16:42]
Cachava Advertiser
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- [17:15]
Narrator
chapter four the mad Mullah Shaun's documentary Meeting the Taliban is a hit amongst the audience and TV executives alike. It would go on to win the Rory Peck Award in 2007. The Rory Peck Awards have honoured the skills and bravery of freelance journalists worldwide for more than 30 years. And off the back of its success, Shaun is approached with a pitch for a new TV show, a sort of follow up documentary.
- [17:42]
Sean Langan
The actual proposal, and it wasn't mine, the TV company, it reads more like a suicide note than a television proposal for an idea. And the idea was, you know, we loved your film Meeting Taliban. And you know, I didn't realize my usp, it's called that horrible media term, unique Selling point was the fact that I, even, even though the audience will know I'm alive because I'm recording the narration, is watching this guy almost get killed, you know, And I think in Channel 4, the broadcast, it was like my nickname was Dead Man Walking. But the idea was to crossed the border from Afghanistan into the tribal areas of Pakistan, the most dangerous place in the world. And that's where they had the secret Al Qaeda training camps. They thought that's where Osam bin Laden was at the time, and we found out later it wasn't. But it, it's, it's, it's where the Taliban fighting in Afghanistan would cross the border. It was their place, their safe place to, to recoup, rearm before going back into Afghanistan. So everyone knew, when I say everyone, the American military intelligence knew it was a hopeless war in Afghanistan because you can't win a counterinsurgency when the insurgents can cross a border and be safe. And, and as an American commander said to me, all we're doing in Afghanistan is mowing the lawn. The real seeds of this insurgency are in the tribal areas of Pakistan. So for someone like me, that was like the Holy Grail. No one had been there. I wanted to cross the border illegally from over the mountains, get into the tribal areas and film the secret Taliban training camps, Al Qaeda. And I can barely bring myself to tell you what the plan was, because that was suicide.
- [19:43]
Narrator
So he was going to head into the hidden training camps of now, one of the most infamous regimes in the world, the Taliban. But how?
- [19:53]
Sean Langan
The way I did it, I spent months, which is how I'd done it before, and it worked. You, you have someone, your fixer, your main fixer, you trust with your life.
- [20:03]
Narrator
A fixer is a local contact, often a translator, but so much more than that. They're your guide, your cultural interpreter, your network, your early warning system, and sometimes the only thing standing between you and a catastrophic mistake. They know which roads are safe and which ones are controlled by insurgents. They know which tribal leaders will talk to foreigners and which ones see outsiders as targets. They can generally read situations in ways a Western journalist never could. The subtle shift in a room's energy, the tension in someone's voice, and the danger signs that would be in, invisible to foreign eyes. So for Shaun now, not just wanting to access the Taliban in Pakistan's tribal regions, but also wanting to see their secretive training camps, a good fixer isn't just helpful, it was an absolute essential. Because he cannot, as a white British filmmaker, simply walk into Taliban territory and Start asking them questions. But here's the thing about fixers. You're also putting your life in their hands completely.
- [21:03]
Sean Langan
So you. You got to trust that person 100%. And you send them off to meet a contact in a village, someone they trust, and it doesn't take long. And that's why we lost those wars to everyone in Afghanistan. In a certain part, the Pashtuns will. Will know someone, six degrees of separation, who's in the Taliban. So I started negotiating and I did the same thing I'd always done, which was, you know, no one's told your side of the story. You're killing people and getting killed yourself for jihad. Surely you want to tell the Western media your side of the story, you know, and that appeals to them because they realize, you know, media can be useful. So I negotiated for about five months to cross the border and they said yes, Come and film our secret training camps.
- [21:59]
Narrator
Sean wasn't just chasing any Taliban faction. He was going after the Haqqani network. Now, the Haqqani Network isn't some ragtag collection of fighters. It's one of the most sophisticated, disciplined and deadly insurgent organizations in the region. Founded by Jalaluddin Haqqani during the Soviet Afghan war in the 1980s, they were once America's allies, mujahideen fighters backed by the CIA to resist the Soviet invasion. But after the Soviets withdrew and the Taliban rose to power, the Haqqani aligned themselves firmly with the Taliban cause. By the time Shaun was trying to make contact, the network was being run by Jalal Hadin's son, a ruthless and strategic commander who turned the organisation into something closer to a criminal enterprise with a political agenda. They weren't just fighters. They were kidnappers, extortionists, suicide bombers and masters of complex attacks. With deep ties to the Pakistani intelligence, they operated with near impunity in Pakistan's tribal areas and were responsible for some of the most spectacular attacks against NATO forces in Afghanistan. The Americans considered them one of the most dangerous threats in the entire theater of war. And they were notorious for kidnapping Westerners.
- [23:21]
Sean Langan
Over the years. You pick up behavior, which is very useful. You pick up tips, how to survive in a war zone. It's one of them the army has is, you know that whole cliche about checking your kit and that song of the, you know, pack your, your worries into your kit bag, pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile. And what you're doing is you're going over and over your kit. So before I go on this road trip, check everything and what you're doing, you're mentally locking down. Because I knew this was, it wasn't that I knew it was dangerous. All my trips have been quite dangerous. I just had a bad feeling about this one. I don't, I wouldn't say premonition but before I left London I called my ex wife. I've got two children but they were aged three and four at that point. And I, I don't normally say goodbye but I was finding myself saying goodbye as though I was saying my final goodbye to people. So I, I, I had a very strong feeling that this one was going to go bad and I still went through it because you always get that feeling and you don't want to be superstitious to the point where you're not going to do things.
- [24:53]
Narrator
So although his spidey senses were screaming at him that this one was different, he was off nonetheless with his first hurdle presenting itself pretty early on, I
- [25:06]
Sean Langan
tried going, I tried crossing the border of the mountains, climbing the mountains illegally because I was terrified crossing the border into Pakistan from Afghanistan, the official border, that the Pakistani authorities would know what I'm doing. And that was my biggest fear. My big fear was the isi, Pakistan Secret Service, because the fact that there are training camps in Pakistan when Pakistan's our ally begs the question. And in fact when I said to the Taliban, I said look, my big worries would get with the trying to meet the Haqqani network if the ISI Pakistan intelligence captures me. And they kept saying, didn't understand the question because like they were like, don't you get it? Haqqani, isi, it's all one. And that's, you know, it wasn't surprised to me when they find Osam bin Laden in Abbasabad a few miles from the big Pakistan military college. West was their equivalent of West Point. Pakistanis knew full well the Taliban were there and they were providing safe haven unofficially in this war on terror. So I tried to avoid the ISI by crossing illegally and it was so dangerous up in the mountains we almost got caught, kidnapped in the end I just drove through the border, the official checkpoint and I get to my hotel in Peshawar and Pakistan, I check my camera kits. So when I'm in Pakistan checking my kit, I always had this thing I'd bring on these journeys, you know, cigarettes, camera gear, photo of my children, some round tree, pastor sweets and I'm locking down and when I meet this mullah who we'd arranged to meet and I switch cars and I get into his car. We now drive off the main road in Pakistan into the tribal areas, where there's a sign saying no foreigners beyond this point. And we're crossing in. I'm now in this car with a Muller and a young Taliban. And I was traveling on my own without my fixer, which I'd never done before. But this was for security reasons. We traveled separately. I don't know why that was decided, but it was. It made it even more terrifying because I had no one to translate.
- [27:10]
Narrator
Shaun is traveling in a car deep into rural Pakistan in a vehicle with men he doesn't know, who are speaking a language he doesn't understand. And all the while, he is convincing himself that everything is totally fine. This is just another assignment, another fascinating story, but it's a story with an ending he wasn't quite prepared for.
- [27:33]
Sean Langan
For. We got near to where we were up in the tribal areas. We stop in a bizarre market town. And I'm in the back of this car, and I'm just looking at hundreds of Taliban, Afghans, Arabs, walking around this market bazaar covered in dusk, having come from the front line. And I'm aware, like, wow, this is. This. This is. We. We never defeated the Taliban. They just. When the Americans invaded, they just moved back a few miles into the tribal areas. And as I was like, wow, this is hostile territory. And we were driven, swapped cars a few times up now, high in the mountains. And I get out of the car, this young Afghan who's Taliban, spoke a bit of English, said. He said, again, we all become very English. He said, do you mind if I put a blindfold on you? And I said, no, not at all.
- [28:34]
Narrator
Bizarre conversation.
- [28:36]
Sean Langan
But I remember as the blindfolds going on, we were quite close, the precipice of a mountain, you know, and we start walking forward. And then I'm like, oh, my God, They've taken me up here just to kill me. Because I'm now on the edge of a precipice with a gun. He's got an AK47. And I hear the ratchet, like, when you pull back, load the bullet, and it's like, oh, I'm gonna be killed. And I. And they just gently push me forward, and I stumble, and I fall down. This not. It wasn't a press, but it was like a hill. So I fall down, And I. I'm like, I'm not dead. I'm lying there with a blindfold, and they come down there like, oh, sorry, you fell down the mountains. You know, you're okay. Pick Me up and then we. They take me into this house. It's like a farmhouse with a mud compound, blindfolds taken off, and I'm sitting in a room. It's a classic Afghan Pashtun. There's an Afghan rug, a paraffin lamp, and I'm looking at these faces and the blind, and I'm sitting there and it's the Taliban and the Taliban commander. And he says, welcome, you know, you can start filming. They were keeping me stringing along at that point. So my first night there, I actually thought, things are going well.
- [30:02]
Narrator
You may be listening to this, thinking things are going well. Is this man okay? He's been put in a car alone, driven deep into tribal areas of Pakistan blindfolded and heard the sounds of AK47s being Loade. He's fallen down a hill thinking he's about to be shot, but everything's going well. Well, you have to understand that this wasn't Shaun's first rodeo. Blindfolds and secrecy, intimidation of men with beards and AK47s is all just part of the job. However, he says he quickly came to the realisation that things were anything but going well.
- [30:45]
Sean Langan
I spent a day there. Then the next day my fixer arrives and he looks terrified. He comes into the room with a blindfold and he's like, something's not right. And I'm like, I'm assuring him. And then the Muller that night, who we, who, who was our go between, slept in our room. So there's this room was probably, I think, a room previously used for goats. It was like we had two day beds, a window that had been boarded up. It was like a cement floor. It's like a little farm room. Not, I mean, it was only about 8ft by 7ft, so it's a small cell and it was a hole for the toilet. No lights. They boarded the window and this, this Muller was sleeping on the floor. I'll never forget that first night. I was still awake, but he was jumped to my bed with a knife and he said, don't worry, it's not for you. I just wanted to show you the knife I killed an American with. I cut this throat and I'm like, oh my God, me. And I'm like, this guy. And he was on severe medication, that guy, for psychotic. So we call him the mad Muller. He sleeps on the floor. I remember, like saying to my fixer, that guy makes the move, that's we have to kill him. He's mad. Next morning I wake up in my bed and it was like watching a play unfold in front of you and you. I couldn't understand what was being said, but it was quite clear. So I wake up in my bed, and there on the floor, in this. On our cell was this Muller and the Taliban commander facing each other. And the commando is gesticulating and clearly accusing the Muller of wrongdoing. And the Muller was pleading for his life, increasingly pleading. And I. And I'm looking at my fix, who's just transfixed at what's happening before us. It's like a. It's like watching a show unfold, a play unfold. And then he thought the Muller starts crying. And the commander's pointing and two masked gunmen come in, put a hood over the Muller's head, drag him out. And then I'm hearing him being beaten. All the while, the commander's looking at my face. Then the commander, kind of as we hear this body being dragged off into the distance, the commander looks to me and says, and now my translator translates. So I know what he's saying. He says, look, don't worry about it. We arrest and kill our own kind all the time. You know, we want to know how he got you here. Don't worry about it. He walks out. And that was my first morning. I'm like, fuck. So they arrest and beat up the man, the Muller, who's their own guy for bringing me.
- [33:19]
Narrator
The following day, Sean and his fixer are presented with allegations, allegations that meant only one thing.
- [33:28]
Sean Langan
And my fixer's looking at me like, I still don't get it because we've been accused in that letter of being charged with being spies working for foreign enemy governments. And he looked at me. It hit me like, we've been kidnapped. He went, sean, you know, we're dead.
- [33:44]
Narrator
Next time on what I survived.
- [33:47]
Singer
Moon in the sky. I'm looking at the moon in the sky. This shouldn't come as a surprise, but I can't. Can't sleep. War in my mind I'm trying to fight a war in my mind I don't know who's the winner tonight, but it ain't me.
- [34:21]
Progressive Insurance Announcer
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.
- [34:43]
Cachava Advertiser
Craving the coffee flavor you love, but without the caffeine. Cachava's got you covered with their newest coffee flavor. This all in one Nutrition shake delivers bold, authentic flavor crafted from premium decaffeinated Brazilian beans with 25 grams of protein, 6 grams of fiber, greens and so much more. Treat yourself to the flavor and nutrition your body craves. Go to kachava.com and use code smoothie. New customers get 15% off their first order. That's K A C H-A V A.com
- [35:12]
Howie Mandel
code smoothie hey, it's Howie Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my How We Do It Gaming team take on Gilly The King Wallow 267's million dollars gaming in an epic Global Gaming League video game showdown. Four rounds, multiple games, one winner, plus a halftime performance by multi platinum artist Travy McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match against Neo right now@globalgamingleague.com that's globalgamingleague.com everybody games.