What I Survived: Wild Bill – The Cartel Hitman – Part 4

Podcast: What I Survived
Host: Jack Laurence
Guest: William Holbert aka “Wild Bill”
Date: March 31, 2026
Episode Theme: The extraordinary journey of William “Wild Bill” Holbert, an American expat who became a notorious cartel hitman in Panama, his capture and incarceration, and how he claims to have transformed his life behind bars.

Episode Overview

This gripping episode concludes the harrowing saga of William Holbert—better known as “Wild Bill”—who operated as a cartel hitman among American expatriates in Panama. Now speaking from a Panamanian prison, Holbert reflects on his descent into violence, his notorious capture, the brutality and corruption of prison life, and his attempts at redemption through faith and community work. Host Jack Laurence provides further context, probing into the psychology, choices, and fallout for Wild Bill, who, despite confessing to multiple murders, refuses to discuss certain details out of regret, trauma, and a complicated sense of morality.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Nature of Being “Wanted” and Wild Bill’s Capture

• Historical Context: Jack opens with reflections on America’s Most Wanted list, citing infamous figures (Whitey Bulger, Ruja Ignatova, Ted Bundy, James Earl Ray) and statistics on fugitive capture rates.

  • “Out of the 530 fugitives... 494 have been captured, representing a 93% success rate.” (03:51)

• Wild Bill’s Capture: Unlike many, Holbert’s capture was “by accident.”

  • Wild Bill recalls seeing his own face on TV in Costa Rica, realizing his time was up. (04:41)
  • His eventual apprehension involved him hiding in the Nicaraguan jungle—ironically caught up in a military standoff unrelated to his crimes.

  Quote (William Holbert, 10:54):
  “So when I finally got busted. The Panamanian de Jota called me and said, hey, man, they've just issued a warrant for your arrest… I went back to Costa Rica… On sometime during the third week, I turned the television on in my little cabin and I saw my own face looking back at me… I ran, buried myself in the Nicaraguan jungle.”

• Torture and Extradition:

  • Holbert describes undergoing Soviet-style torture in Nicaragua, being pressured to confess to murders that never occurred.
  • Eventually, he’s extradited to Panama and forced to do the infamous “perp walk” before international media.
    • “There's every single news agency in the world.” (13:06)

2. The Jolly Roger Social Club: Bar as Murder Lair

• Setting of Crimes:

  • Holbert built a bar in a remote part of Panama—a mad paradise catering to outsiders.
  • The Jolly Roger Social Club was both haven and hunting ground for Holbert, a setting enabled by lawlessness.

  Quote (William Holbert, 06:29):
  “I built a bar there… front of the bar, there was crystal clear blue water… People came and like fell in love with it… The bar was actually a crazy ass place… I sold cocaine on, you know, lines of cocaine out from under the bar.”

  • He also notes the absence of police in the area: “I never saw a police boat. Never, never. And the whole time I lived there.” (08:16)

3. Motivation and Morality

• Why Kill?

  • Wild Bill denies being a psychopathic “serial killer”—he frames his crimes as motivated by greed, not pleasure or sickness.
  • The process was “nerve wracking” and grim, not thrilling.

  Quote (William Holbert, 24:43):
  “Definitely about the money… A lot of people in this profession like it, enjoy it. I didn't like it at all… it was a terrible, horrible, nerve wracking thing to kill somebody else… I was making really good money and so… but when I killed people, I did it without… nobody ever saw it coming.”

• On Being Labeled
  Quote (William Holbert, 26:44):
  “I detest that when they call me a serial killer because I think of somebody like Ted Bundy… I'm not sick… I took a psychological exam. They said that I scored a little bit on the narcissist scale, but… I don't have any personality disorders.”

  • Instead, Holbert blames a gradual erosion of morals and describes his situation as a cautionary tale:
    “You better be afraid, because this could be you. I'm normal, man… It was one bad decision after another, Deeper and deeper down into hell.” (27:24)

4. Prison Life: Privilege, Corruption, and Fall from Grace

• Initial Luxury:

  • With cash, Holbert claims he lived comfortably for 9 years—ordering food, conjugal visits, and being inmate representative.
    • “I had a key to my own cell... came back and locked myself in at 11 o'clock when I was tired.” (17:58)

• ** Downfall:**

  • After attempting to advocate for poorer inmates and doing a controversial interview with the UK press, authorities stripped Holbert of privileges and placed him in harsher conditions.
  • He describes enduring a “soft torture facility,” losing wealth and power, and being close to suicide.

  Quote (William Holbert, 19:03):
  “I stood up for the poor prisoners… and then this chick from the Daily Mirror in Great Britain called me… she made the interview about how many privileges and how I was eating well and… how I had access to firearms... The Panama authorities flipped the f*** out… I lost everything. I lost all my money, lost all my power… I thought about killing myself.”

5. Attempt at Redemption: Faith, Church, Helping Others

• Turning to Religion and Service:

  • Holbert says he prayed, and was inspired to help fellow inmates—especially young gang members, teaching them literacy and trying to give hope outside crime.

  Quote (William Holbert, 21:31):
  “God said, you need to be doing something for something other than yourself… So we started a program here teaching them to read, teaching them to write, Trying to show them… self esteem… You don't have to live this life.”

• Prison Violence & Culture:

  • Describes frequent violence:
    “They killed two police officers and two inmates maybe a week and a half ago, two weeks ago… The street gangs run everything inside prisons here.” (22:15)
  • Holbert finds safety (ironically) by serving and being respected for his work:
    “Even the bad guys respect that shit… if you can learn anything from this, you know, this podcast, learn that.” (23:01)

6. Trauma, Regret, and Responsibility

• Nightmares and Limits on Disclosure:

  • Holbert declines to discuss specific murders out of respect and self-preservation:
    “I don't want to talk about individual murders… it gives me nightmares when I talk about it… I don't have that in me anymore.” (23:29)

• Reflections and Regret:

  • Holbert attributes his fall to the breakdown of his marriage and youthful mistakes:
    • “If I had known then… I would have done everything possible to save my marriage and raised my kids. And I didn't do any of those things. And I'm paying an enormous price.” (30:04)

7. The Future: Hopes and Reality

• Incarceration and Possible Return to the U.S.:
  • “I got a 46 year sentence, but here in Panama, you only do 2/3 of your time... I'm trying to get back to the United States right now.”
    • He believes chances for parole are much better back home; in Panama, “the authorities hate my ass.” (29:09)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Wild Bill on Life as a Hitman:
  "I was just so morally shot, so morally gone. My morals were such shit that it allowed me to do it because it was cash." (24:56)
• On Transformation:
  "Aren't you tired? Like here you are, ready to die… don't you want to do something with somebody else? And so I started a program here. I opened a church..." (19:46)
• On Prison Reality:
  "Inside here, this is a fucking nightmare. And that's what we talk about that on Life Inside hell on my YouTube channel..." (27:07)
• Less a Monster, More a Mirror:
  "I'm normal, man...this could be you...It was one bad decision after another, deeper and deeper down into hell. And you better be afraid." (27:24)

Key Timestamps

• 03:51 – Context on Most Wanted lists and Wild Bill's notoriety
• 06:29 – 09:15 – Wild Bill describes building and running the Jolly Roger Social Club
• 10:54 – 13:36 – The capture: Nicaraguan ordeal, torture, and international perp walk
• 14:06 – 15:24 – Confession, refusing to turn on cartel connections, and media spectacle
• 17:58 – 18:36 – Life of privilege as a rich inmate in Panama
• 19:03 – 21:31 – His advocacy for poor inmates, betrayal by the press, spiritual turning point
• 22:09 – 22:59 – Descriptions of prison violence and lawlessness
• 23:29 – 24:43 – Reflections on killing, nightmares, and keeping certain boundaries in storytelling
• 26:44 – 27:35 – Refusal of “serial killer” label and existential warning to listeners
• 29:09 – Attempts, hopes to transfer to the U.S.
• 30:04 – Root of his regret: lost marriage, lost family

Episode Tone & Closing Thoughts

Jack Laurence’s probing, calm narration juxtaposes Wild Bill’s candid, often profane and unvarnished storytelling. The tone is unsparing and at times almost morbidly matter-of-fact, resisting melodrama. Holbert uses dark humor, remorseful reflection, and moments of almost motivational speech, especially when warning listeners about “one bad decision after another.”

Final Reflection (William Holbert, 30:04):
Happiest I've ever been was when I was a young kid living back in North Carolina with my family. And if I had known then, well, I knew I would have done everything possible to save my marriage and raised my kids. And I didn't do any of those things. And I'm paying an enormous price for it, I assure you.

For more on this series and similar extreme stories, continue following What I Survived, hosted by Jack Laurence.