How I Ended Up Running a Happy Endings Parlour for Women

Summary

Podcast Summary: What It Was Like

Episode: "How I Ended Up Running a Happy Endings Parlour for Women"

Date: February 20, 2026
Host: Superreal
Guest: Alice
Featured Interviewer: Laura Roscholi (Host of “The Sex That Changed My Life”)

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Episode Overview

This rich, revealing episode explores the extraordinary personal journey of Alice: from devoted suburban mother and wife, through post-marriage transformation, to founding “Goddess Glow”—a women-focused erotic massage business. Alice candidly discusses the intersections of body image, sexual identity, trauma, and the often-neglected need for female-centered pleasure. She and interviewer Laura Roscholi (renowned sex columnist) dive into the emotional and practical realities facing women rediscovering themselves after long-term monogamy, and how Alice’s own sexual awakening inspired her groundbreaking venture.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Breakdown of a Long-Term, Codependent Marriage

[08:26–13:13]

• Alice describes a life defined by marriage from age 15, culminating in a loss of self and deep unhappiness.

  • "My entire life, pretty much. And we were very, very codependent ... My identity was shared. My path was set at, like, 15, that I would, you know, marry this person" (Alice, 10:01).
  • She lost her job during COVID, moved overseas with her husband and kids, and underwent dramatic weight loss after bariatric surgery.

• Exploring non-monogamy exposed cracks in the marriage rather than saving it.

  • "I don't think my marriage was supposed to survive. I think survival would have been doing myself a disservice for my life, for sure." (Alice, 09:34)

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2. Sexual Awakening and Owning Desire

[13:13–18:46]

• Post-marriage, Alice dived into sexual exploration: flings, bisexual experiences, parties, threesomes.
  • “I felt like I was like, almost like a Pokemon ... collecting all these experiences that I'd seen people have throughout my life that I'd never got to have.” (Alice, 14:12)
• However, seeking excitement often masked deeper disconnection and body shame, especially following sudden weight loss and body dysphoria.
  • “I still to this day, feel like a catfish sometimes ... I felt like I could see that I was pretty dressed, ... but I feel so imperfect underneath my clothing and such strong issues...” (Alice, 21:27)

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3. Submission, Confidence, and Body Image

[19:19–22:45]

• Alice was attracted to submissiveness initially as a way to avoid showing vulnerability and risk rejection.
  • “I was only ever going to do what they were asking for ... because I wasn’t leading anything.” (Alice, 22:32)
• Her lack of confidence meant she’d avoid being seen naked; she developed “tactical” ways to always keep some clothes on.

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4. The Transformative Sexual Experience

[26:24–33:49]

• Alice met a “pleasure dom” who broke through her barriers in a pivotal, mirror-centered sexual encounter.
  • “You can't come until you look yourself in the eyes and say you're beautiful.” (Pleasure Dom, paraphrased by Alice, 28:33)
  • “I looked up ... caught myself in the mirror, and I said it ... but they came out ... it wasn't fake ... I was looking at a sexual being. And that. I was, like, full. That is sexy.” (Alice, 29:39)
• For the first time, confidence and empowerment came from within, not from external validation or appearance.
  • “I saw myself as a sexual being ... the way someone else would see me.” (Alice, 30:32)
  • “My body is a vessel not just for the clothes that I love and the food that I want to eat and hugging my kids. My body is a vessel for pleasure.” (Alice, 30:47)

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5. How This Changed Her Life

[34:01–37:15]

• The experience catalyzed the end of her marriage (35:00) and a profound personal reevaluation:
  • “I found a lot more and more of myself, and I started to seek out finding more and more of me … it started a rethinking and it started a reframing of my life to be really different.” (Alice, 36:05)
• She discovered new aspects of her identity, including neurodiversity and preferences for non-traditional community family structures.

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6. Creating “Goddess Glow”—A Happy Endings Parlour for Women

[41:04–55:29]

• Alice’s transformation inspired her to found a female-centric sensual massage enterprise.
  • “Goddess Glow is a female run, female centric, female serving massage company. We do erotic and sensual massage. We are all about women. We are all about non-performativeness.” (Alice, 45:38)
• Most clients are women emerging from long-term relationships, rediscovering their sexuality—often for the first time.
  • “It's so common that ... it's almost boring in its commonality ... it is like an epidemic.” (Alice, 54:41)
• The service focuses on presence, receiving, and dropping societal pressure around performance or obligation.
  • “It's about serving women and breaking those barriers between I can't come or I'm stuck in this or I need this breakthrough to just be in their bodies, receive, give nothing back, and just drop back into themselves.” (Alice, 46:19)
• The goal: not dependency but empowerment—ideally, women “graduate” to demand this level of presence and care in their lives and relationships.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Alice’s Mirror Revelation:
  “I wasn’t looking at my body. I was looking at my eyes. I was looking at the desire all over my face. I was looking at a sexual being. And that ... I was, like, that is sexy.” (29:39)

• On Submission and Shame:
  “There's no way to embarrass myself because I was only doing what they told me ... I was apologetic about it.” (22:32)

• On Founding Goddess Glow:
  “I want them to go and demand it in their everyday life ... Because if you don't have an hour to make the woman that you are in a relationship with come ... you don't deserve this woman.” (48:58)

• The Business Model:
  “I don’t consider someone coming back multiple times to be a success. I don't want a client or a customer getting addicted to this experience. I want them to go and demand it in their everyday life.” (49:01)

• On Witnessing Modern Female Sexuality:
  “It’s heartbreaking. It shatters me ... women who are coming out of long term relationships ... and ... it is tragic how low their expectations are.” (54:34)

• For Straight Men Listening:
  “If they are [listening], they're already one step ahead of a lot of men ... Being open, being vulnerable, asking the questions and really encouraging a non-performative sexual interaction is the key.” (56:39)

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Key Segment Timestamps

• [08:26] – Alice recounts hitting “rock bottom” in marriage, weight, and self-identity.
• [14:12] – Vivid stories of first sexual adventures post-separation.
• [19:19] – Safety, submission, and body insecurity explored.
• [28:33] – Transformative mirror-sex experience with “pleasure dom.”
• [34:01] – How this changed Alice’s relationship to her body, self-worth, and sex.
• [41:04] – The birth of Goddess Glow and describing its impact on its clients.
• [54:34] – The “epidemic” of low expectations and sexual disconnection among women post-divorce.
• [56:39] – Steps for men to learn and listen, and information about workshops for everyone.

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Tone & Style

The episode is intimate, honest, and empowering—mixing candid, explicit descriptions with warmth and humor. Both Alice and Laura speak openly, with zero shame and a sense of celebration for female pleasure. The conversation is respectful, inviting, and often gently subversive, challenging mainstream narratives about women’s sexuality, monogamy, and midlife transformation.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a moving testimonial to self-discovery, sexual agency, and the power of reimagining both individual lives and broader cultural conventions around pleasure. Alice’s story and business offer not just physical experiences but a new lens through which women might reclaim desire and demand fulfillment—on their own terms. It’s a must-listen for anyone interested in sexuality, relationships, and self-actualization.

Transcript

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Styles Mackenzie]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Host/Producer]

Hey everyone. So this week we're going to do something a little different. I'm going to play you the first episode of our new show. That's right, we've got a new show and it's called the Sex that Changed My Life. And yes, it's all about sex. But what I love is that this show is examining the power that relationships have to alter our lives. The way that you meet someone and maybe it's a quick fling or maybe it lasts years, but afterwards you're nearly always different. I think I actually look at various periods of my life in terms of who I was dating at the time. You know, like being with someone is like a, like a marker of an epoch. And I think that's just indicative of the kind of sway that relationships have over us. So that is the sex that changed my life. And every week we're going to meet someone whose life has been changed via intimacy. And just so you know what I mean, I'll give you some examples of the kind of stories that we're going to cover. So in one episode, we're going to meet a woman who had a five year relationship with her university teacher. It's. It's pretty salacious. Or there's a story with a woman who had a fling with a French monk. Or, and I think this might be my favorite episode so far, there's a story of a woman who woke up from a coma. She'd fallen out of a tree and she found this guy standing by her hospital bed. And this guy said, hey, I'm your boyfriend. And she didn't remember him, of course. It's sort of like 50 first dates. Remember that movie with, with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler? And it's kind of like that, except that she realized that she'd actually dumped this gu guy like a long time ago and he was trying to use her amnesia to sneak back into her life. So great stories, really cool stories, really like juicy stories that just suck you in. And that's, you know, I think that's kind of what we do here. It's super real. So I'm a producer on this new show along with Rachel Tuffery, who's a producer on this show. So, yeah, it's the same team behind what it was like, but it's hosted by renowned sex columnist Laura Shawley. You might have actually read her work in Cosmo or Harper's. Also, I gotta say, Laura just happens to be my girlfriend.

[Alice]

Hi.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Hi.

[Host/Producer]

How was, how was that, how was it sitting through that?

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah, it was, it was an interesting experience. You're very. You're very good at this.

[Host/Producer]

Thanks. I was hoping you were gonna say that. So. So look, let's start with a question. Why do a show about sex?

[Laura Roscholi]

Well, really, I think it's because sex reveals so much about who we are and what we want. And I just don't think that it's done very well. It's either done in this really academic, heavy way, or it's done in a very cutesy, smarty, and overly sexualized way. And I really wanted to do a show that feels like delicious gossip, but also has heart.

[Host/Producer]

Nice. Okay, and so what story are we going to hear today?

[Laura Roscholi]

Today we're going to hear from Alice, who runs a happy endings massage parlor for women. But she actually started at a place in her life where she wasn't very happy. She was divorced. She was feeling really not good about herself. She always used to feel like the girl that wasn't noticed that nobody desired. And she had this really life changing, intimate moment when she ended her marriage. And she went on this date with a guy who she had amazing chemistry with, and he told her to look into the mirror while she orgasmed. And that moment, it really changed her life. So much so that she ended up opening a happy endings massage parlor for. For women.

[Host/Producer]

What is that?

[Laura Roscholi]

You'll have to listen to find out.

[Host/Producer]

Good.

[Alice]

Good.

[Host/Producer]

Plug. Okay, I like it. Let's just do it. Do you want to take it away?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Laura Roscholi]

Can I say a bit?

[Host/Producer]

Yeah. Say my bit.

[Laura Roscholi]

Now I bring you the sex that changed my life.

[Alice]

So I'm standing naked in front of a mirror with this man that I have this intense chemistry with. And he's standing behind me and pleasuring me. And then all of a sudden he stopped. And he was like, you can't come until you look yourself in the eyes and say you're beautiful. And I was like, oh, my God.

[Laura Roscholi]

It actually makes me stress thinking about it.

[Alice]

Oh, my God. Like, to be honest, I cannot do that. I absolutely cannot. I was like, you've got to be kidding me.

[Laura Roscholi]

I don't know if I could do that, to be honest with you.

[Alice]

I was like, I can't do it. And then he kept going. Wow. He physically kept going and kept getting me more and more. And he was like, I'm not gonna let you come until you do it.

[Laura Roscholi]

Wow.

[Alice]

And I looked up and I looked at myself and I said it and I said the words, but they came out and like, it wasn't fake. It was like a shock. I wasn't looking at My body. I was looking at my eyes. I was looking at the desire all over my face. I was looking at a sexual being. And that. I was like, oh, that is sexy.

[Laura Roscholi]

Hi, I'm Laura Roscholi, and this is the Sex that Changed My Life. The show that looks at how intimacy and relationships can shape our lives and uncover who we really are.

[Alice]

It was absolutely magical.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yes.

[Alice]

I've wanted this for so long.

[Laura Roscholi]

Right there.

[Alice]

Don't stop.

[Laura Roscholi]

Alice, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. I'm really excited to have you here. So you went through a massive change in your life recently. Can you talk me through what happened?

[Alice]

I mean, like, 10 things all at once. So I. So just post Covid, I was. I worked for an airline for, like, 10 years, and during COVID I got made redundant and my identity was this job and I was a mum of two young kids and I was living in the suburbs. I was also really heavily overweight, like, very, very unwell. I topped out, like, 136 kilos. And then in a really short amount of time, I had a bariatric surgery. I packed up my family and we moved to Thailand for an adventure. Because I was post Covid, kind of bit stuck down. My husband came out and wanted to explore that part of his sexuality. So we opened up our marriage. And then I proceeded to lose half my body weight and come back to Australia like a completely different person, and moving into, like, inner city and dating for the first time since I was a teenager and in a completely different body and a completely different way of living to everything I've been used to.

[Laura Roscholi]

Did your marriage survive the openness?

[Alice]

No, but I wouldn't blame it necessarily on the openness. I think that there's other. There's probably other factors at play, and I don't think my marriage was supposed to survive. I think survival would have been doing myself a disservice for my life, for sure.

[Laura Roscholi]

And so you mentioned being in the suburbs and married housewife. Can you give us a little bit more context as to how long you were together for and sort of your identity during that relationship?

[Alice]

So I met him when I was 15 years old. I was. Went to a private or girl school. He went to a private or boys school. He was on the rugby team. I was school cap, like that, kind of. And we met and we were inseparable best friends together for 23 years. By the time we'd split, so my entire life, pretty much. And we were very, very codependent. And, yeah, I don't think I was Never an independent person. I never had any form of independence. I was always completely connected to someone else. My identity was shared. My path was set at, like, 15, that I would, you know, marry this person that I had met and had been together. And then I was going to have children. And. Yeah, I just kind of. I don't know how because I come from rebels, but I. I just went down this really generic path. And then all of a sudden, I kind of looked around one day and I was so unhappy and I was ignored and I was lonely and I wasn't having sex, and I like sex. And I had two young kids and my identity was just gone. Like, I just. I was literally. I lost even my identity within the relationship, which was my kind of codependent identity, and I'd lost anything I had left of me as well. So I was just like a shell. I had no identity left.

[Laura Roscholi]

How do you feel that you got into that space? Because I feel like a lot of women find themselves there.

[Alice]

Yeah, look, I think I. I had an easy win when I was younger. Like, I met a person that I really loved, and we got along really well and we had a great friendship and we had a really good, like, decade. Like a really solid decade. There was some toxicity in it in the sense that, like, we were young and we were following patterns that we. In hindsight now, like, if I was 10 years younger, I would be like, no, I'm not doing your homework and cleaning your bedroom. It, you know, it fell on me really young. And, like, I was buying birthday presents when I was not 16, not just Christmas presents when I was 30.

[Laura Roscholi]

Like, your roles, your role was really cemented, like, super.

[Alice]

Yeah, yeah. That role got set when I was 15.

[Laura Roscholi]

Wow, that's so young.

[Styles Mackenzie]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And it never really occurred to me because I was quite happy in it for a while, and I liked it. And in that era, it was kind of fun. And he's a fun person. It was. We had a good time, and then once we had kids, it wasn't. It wasn't fun anymore and I couldn't keep up.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And all of a sudden I was really. I was super miserable. And I. I didn't like. It didn't, like, movie style, like, roll me into action to, like, get a better life. It was more like I felt rock bottom. I felt really crushed. And I was like. I kind of disconnected from the situation, but I took a step back from this and was like, this can't be all there is, like, this can't be it. And. And I started to kind of explore more. And I. And I feel like I. I went through a list of things I thought could do it. So I lost huge amount of weight. Dangerous. Like, I got very unwell for a while. Like, I. I kind of just wanted to, like, get a little bit, like, healthier. And within, you know, 18 months, I'd lost 75 kilos or something. And I was sick. Like, I was dying pretty much.

[Laura Roscholi]

It's a big. It's a big physical change.

[Alice]

Hugely unhealthy level of physical change. I was. I was pretty much just, like, starving. But, you know, I tried everything. First I was like, I got him on medication, and then I got me on medication, and then I picked up after. I moved to Thailand for an adventure. And I. I cycled through everything I could think of to try and, like, fix it and pull it out, always thinking that it needed to be together because I had no identity outside of that.

[Laura Roscholi]

Okay.

[Alice]

But at the same time, he was opening. He'd come out and it was opening up and exploring his sexuality, which I encouraged really strongly because I. I think I've always been pretty ethically non monogamous in myself. And I didn't really think it was right for him to go through life and never experience that part of who he was. So I was encouraging it, but it was really hard. And it never really occurred to me that it would be about me as well.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah, right. How interesting.

[Alice]

I had no intention. I. The first time anything happened, it was him that was like, you should go for it. And I was like, that, like, really young, hot guy. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, he's into you. I was like, no one's ever into me. Like, I'm the big girl in the room. Like, what?

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. I mean, so, like, you were changing, but you weren't really picking up on it.

[Alice]

Not at all. Not at all picking up on it and not at all intending to. Like, that wasn't what it was about for me. But I did. And then I was like, well, that was fun. And then I kind of proceeded to have more and more of those kind of experiences. So, you know, I had all these things that I'd missed out on. I was enjoying. I felt like I was like, almost like a Pokemon I sometimes refer it to. Like, it's like collecting all these experiences that I'd seen people have throughout my life that I'd never got to have.

[Laura Roscholi]

Wow.

[Alice]

So, you know, I had, like, you know, that first kind of nightclub pickup sex on a beach, like, oh, my God moment. And then I Had my first little, like, mini, like, holiday romance love affair that kind of went for a few days and was, like, a bit magical when I came back to Melbourne and, you know, staying over with someone and that kind of, like, first feelings of that. And. Yeah. And then I had big adventures. I had my first, like, you know, like, I'm trying to think of exact, like, a threesome on a rooftop, like, pool villa, and, like, this mansion in Koh Samui with, like, two guys who I'm pretty sure, in hindsight, were really dodgy.

[Laura Roscholi]

That's the best not to overthink.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

No.

[Alice]

And at the time, I was amazing, but stunning, like, clifftop pool villas and all these interesting things and exploring my identity and, like, exploring my bisexuality and, like, playing with women and going to. When I moved back to Melbourne, going to sex parties and, like, really exploring all these things that were, like, became really interesting to me. And I was. I felt like, yeah, I was living all these adventures, but the more I kind of lived them, I was not only stepping away from that relationship, I also, in hindsight, think I was probably stepping away from myself and the reality of how I was feeling a lot. And I was chasing feelings and stimulus and emotions that were definitely an escape and not a coming home. I wasn't getting any closer to rediscovering myself.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. What was it that ended the relationship? Was there, like, a moment, or was it just a period of time where you were like, this is way better. I'm gonna stay over here?

[Alice]

I think it was a bit of both. I think over a period of time, I. I stepped further and further into these adventures and into these feelings while he started to do the same, and we stepped further and further away from each other, while also, the original things that were an issue were not getting fixed. Right. So instead of. I think, for me, I was like, you sort yourself out, because I'm sick of doing everything, and I'm sick of.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

You know, that classic female divorce trope of, like, I'm tired. I'm tired of holding all the emotional labor. It's not sexy.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

You don't want. I'm sorry. Like, without being really. You don't want to fuck someone who. You basically feel like their mom.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. Or you also sexy. You don't really ever want to fuck when you're tired either. No, that's also.

[Alice]

And when you're babying someone or you're like, it's just not sexy. Sexy.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And. And so. Yeah. And then I. So I just thought I wasn't sexy. Right.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And then I started to find that sex with other people. And I think that hurt him.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

Okay. That really hurt him. And he could see that.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And he was like, you're like, you know, you're doing these things and you're not taking me along for the ride. And I was like, I've taken you along for our entire life as a ride.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. Your turn.

[Alice]

And now I'm. Yeah, now I'm finding this. And I think also, like, as he moved into his queerness and his. Which I'm so proud of him for, but as he moved into his queerness and his openness and his space, he went in a really different direction to me. I moved into a place that I started to find pleasure in, which was my submissive side and a more feminine, gentler angle of myself and a more feminine version of me, and I started to really enjoy that. And. And we. We kind of really came apart in that we no longer were each other's. I wasn't dressing for him, he wasn't dressing for me. I wasn't going to. The things with him, we. We started to find our own identities. And that. That decoupling or that, like, that. That removal of that codependency. It turned out that probably for the last however many years, that codependency had been the only thing really holding us together. And as we went and found our own identities, we were just so different.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. I mean, of course, it doesn't surprise me. I think it must be really rare for people to get together at such a young age and be able to continue to, like, journey and that identities change in a way that works together.

[Alice]

Yeah. And I think in a weird twist, like, because we were such good friends and we did have so many things in common, we pushed through longer than we probably would have. And I kind of wish we hadn't because we ended up pushing through to a really bad place.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

A really, like, dark place. And I feel whether as if maybe there'd been a little bit less friendship, a little bit less things in common and less joy shared. It might have just kind of simmered and died.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

Instead of this really quite, like, passionate, very sad and aggressive ending. Yeah. That's quite tragic for, like, you know, a relationship that went for more than half our lives.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. So you're speaking about having sexual experiences that are taking you further away from yourself. Like a bit of an escape, a bit of a distraction.

[Alice]

Yeah. And to a dangerous point. Sometimes I think, like, I was really. We know when I would have A dark moment or we'd have a big fight or things weren't great, I would seek out quite not healthy or not safe behaviors. Like, I really would be looking for some, like, deeply submissive moments without the vibe check of whether or not someone was safe to be dominant with me.

[Laura Roscholi]

Right.

[Alice]

Or that I was safe in that space or that my. I was mentally. I was just falling off a cliff.

[Laura Roscholi]

Before we get to the experience that sort of change or flip that experience on its head for you, why do you think that submissiveness was the thing that was appealing to you at the time?

[Alice]

I think I've been thinking about this a lot in the lead up to this, and I think I've got a bit of a. An explanation that's a little bit different to what I originally thought it was. I originally thought it was the fact that I was busy and stressed and tired and that I wanted to submit to someone and take that kind of pressure away from myself. Right. I actually. I might cry. I actually think that it was a deep insecurity in me. My marriage went through periods where my husband did not want to sleep with me, and that really crushed me where I felt like I was pushing it. And my sex drive is really hard. Very hard to keep up with me. Like. Like, really hard to keep up with me. Like, I'm best with, like, a good, solid roster.

[Laura Roscholi]

Nice.

[Alice]

But. But I started to feel unwanted. And then the problem. When you lose that amount of weight is a really practical moment. When you lose that amount of weight that quickly, it's a bit of a dream come true in a lot of ways.

[Laura Roscholi]

Right.

[Alice]

But in other ways, it's deeply dysmorphic, and in a whole other sense, your body doesn't cope. So I started. I looked 10 years older really quickly because my. My face and my body got, like, loose skin. I had already had two babies and two cesareans, so, like, it's big old mess down here. Right. And I felt like I could see that I was pretty dressed, and I could see that I was, but I. I still. I still to this day, feel like a catfish sometimes.

[Laura Roscholi]

Okay.

[Alice]

Because I feel so imperfect underneath my clothing and such strong issues of. And I was. I was big from quite young, so I've never been very physically body confident. I faked it for a long time.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

I wore the brave things and I. I cared about fashion and I. I faked a confidence, but it wasn't. It wasn't a true, deep confidence.

[Laura Roscholi]

Okay.

[Alice]

And when I lost weight, the true confidence didn't come then either.

[Laura Roscholi]

Wow.

[Alice]

With all the hope that it would. Going from a size 22 to a size 6 in 18 months, that's insane. You would think that that would be like, oh, my God, this is like waking up in a movie with a new body. But instead, I felt like a bobblehead. Like, I felt very confused when I looked at myself. I. And then, yeah, I. I wanted to stay dressed all the time. I wanted to be fully clothed. So I think for me, a lot of the time, the submissiveness was. There's no way to embarrass myself because I was only doing what they told me, so I was only ever going to do what they were asking for or what they wanted. I was. I was never gonna step out of line or step out of myself or embarrass myself or put myself out there in a way that wasn't being asked of me because I wasn't leading anything.

[Laura Roscholi]

So, like, if you asked for something that you wanted, you. You were afraid that the person would say no or not give you what you wanted, so you just avoided that.

[Alice]

Yeah. Or if I, like, took my top off, they're.

[Laura Roscholi]

Oh, right.

[Alice]

Like, you know, there was a shame in that for me. Like, I didn't have that moment of, like, look at me.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

I was like, if I was doing it, it was like, I'm sorry. Like, you know, I was apologetic about it.

[Laura Roscholi]

Right. And then if someone else asked you to do it, it's like, well, you asked for this.

[Alice]

Exactly.

[Laura Roscholi]

You asked for this.

[Alice]

You're getting what you asked for.

[Laura Roscholi]

Right?

[Alice]

I remember, like, even, like, the very first time I took my clothes off with anyone, it was like getting in a shower, and I remember, like, taking off my clothes and getting in the shower, and it was literally just because I had my period, and I. I was, like, still super conscious. I was like, you do the shower. It's okay. And I'm taking my clothes and standing there and being like, well, like, I literally said to him, I was like, well, this is it. Like, this is. This is me. Like, I was apologetic. I was like, sorry. And he was lovely about it. He was great. And that probably should have been, like, the first clue that, like, men give a lot less shits than you think about how you look. Totally. But, you know, it wasn't. It was more just like, okay, that I'm. I'm acceptable in this moment. And then I lost, like, another 20 kilos on top of that. And at that point, I was like, now I'm like, I'm. I'm misformed. Like, I'M I am like a problem underneath this.

[Laura Roscholi]

And then you had an experience that was different. An experience that changed this. Yeah. Mentality for you.

[Alice]

So I met a man on an app and we clicked and got along really well. And I thought that it'd be like a lot of fun. I just got of a pretty toxic relationship with someone who was expecting some extremely performative behavior out of me. And then I met this man and he was probably my. One of my, A few experiences I've had, I'd had at that point with just randomly running into pleasure doms and I'd had a few really good experiences, but they were like traveling wise. Like they were like one night things.

[Laura Roscholi]

Okay. For the listeners.

[Alice]

Yes.

[Laura Roscholi]

Can we describe what a pleasure dom is?

[Alice]

Yeah, sure. Of course. So when you think about dominant and submissive dynamics in relationships, the, the whole, what's it called, 50 Shades of Gray comes to mind. Right. That was most people's introduction to Dom sub dynamics. And that is an impact dom sub relationship. So that is a, that is a line between pleasure and pain situation. That is a power moment. That is a submission. That is, that is a, that is a type of dynamic. Yeah, there is another type of dynamic or there's many, but one of them is the pleasure dom, which is honestly, truly, if you're a woman, find one, find one. Just find one. A real one. Like a real one. The nearest pleasure dom, essentially, for a pleasure dom, their kink is getting you off. Their kink is giving you pleasure and that is their drive. So they will, they will dominate and you'll be submissive, but it is for your pleasure.

[Laura Roscholi]

Okay, cool.

[Alice]

It is. And sometimes, like to be clear, I, I'm, I'm very deep in that dynamic. And it can also be very physically challenging. Like when you have gone from, you know, maybe coming once or twice to like sessions where you might have like 10, 15 orgasms. Like, that's.

[Laura Roscholi]

Wow, that's a lot.

[Alice]

And that physically is, it's a lot to submit to. Like, you know, you come sometimes and you're like, I'm, I'm done. I want to relax now. Yeah, Pleasure time's usually like, no, we're gonna go again.

[Laura Roscholi]

I tell you when you can realize.

[Alice]

Yeah, I tell you when you can. And, and it's that same pushing of boundaries, same as pushing pain and in those other dynamics.

[Laura Roscholi]

Okay, so you met a pleasure dom on an app.

[Alice]

I did My Pleasure on an app. And he, we went on, I think my first date. I like, was like, we just kind of met. I didn't say like drunk sex, whatever. And then our second date, there's this incredible chemistry. Incredible chemistry. And I ended up booking a hotel like around the corner from where we had dinner. Because I was just like, I like you, I need it. Is that all the street and like I'm a mom. Like dignity. I need some dignity in this. But I stay as always. I like tried to keep lingerie on or like I'd wear like high waisted underwear and like pull it to the side. Like I always had a plan. Even going to parties. Like I always had a way to stay covered. To stay covered. Like really to stay covered. So like, you know, I would only buy one pieces. Or like, like body.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

Bodysuits that didn't have a clip at the bottom because if you could undo the clip, then it could ride up and you might see my stomach.

[Laura Roscholi]

So you just pull it.

[Alice]

So I'd buy ones that either had or have to be full to the side. Or I'd wear a skirt that could short enough. Like I was. Everything was a minefield of how I could stay covered and hidden and not quite present.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. Okay.

[Alice]

And this person, I got along incredibly well with this chemistry and this affection and this laughter and it was a really deep connection. Really quickly, I again went to go and keep my clothes on and he was just like, I can't do my thing if you're gonna like stay like this. Like I, I can. You're not, you're not here, you're not in your body. You're. You're hiding and you're. And I, I want to give this to you, but like, I just don't think I can while you're like this. And at that point, like, you know, it was kind of mid things. It wasn't like beforehand. So I was like raring to go.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Alice]

And I was like, I just don't how to do that. And he was like, okay. And I don't, I don't know how. I don't know. All of a sudden I'm standing in front of a mirror and he's behind me and he's taken my clothes off. And like I'm talking like my eyes are closed. I'm so like, I don't think I've looked at myself naked in a mirror.

[Laura Roscholi]

Wow.

[Alice]

In 20 years.

[Laura Roscholi]

That's so huge.

[Alice]

So I'm standing naked in front of a mirror with this man that I have this intense chemistry with and he's standing behind me and pleasuring me. And then all of a sudden he stopped and he was like, you can't come until you look yourself in the eyes and say you're beautiful. And I was like, oh, my God.

[Laura Roscholi]

It actually makes me stress thinking about it.

[Alice]

Oh, my God. Like, to be honest, I cannot do that. I absolutely cannot do it. I was like, you've got to be kidding me.

[Laura Roscholi]

I don't know if I could do that, to be honest with you.

[Alice]

I was like, I can't do it. And then he kept going.

[Laura Roscholi]

Wow.

[Alice]

He physically kept going and kept getting me more and more. And he was like, I'm not gonna let you come until you do it.

[Laura Roscholi]

Wow. And then did it kind of speak to your, like, submissive tendencies? But it was sort of for your good 100.

[Alice]

Initially, it spoke to my submissive tendencies and. And my desire. Like, I. You know, I like sex. I like pleasure, and. And I was. You know, I really wanted to. So that's how initially was. And so I did it to be, like, in a submissive way. I did it in a state, and I. I fully intended to look up and fake it. And I looked up and I looked at myself, and I caught myself in the mirror, and I said it and I said the words, but they came out. And, like, it wasn't fake. It was, like, a shock. It was like, oh, my God. Like. And I was looking at myself in this mirror and with this gorgeous man behind me. And I am naked and in this body that I'm so uncomfortable in, even though it's changed into everything I wanted it to be. And I was like, oh, my God, I am sexy. But it wasn't. I wasn't looking at my body. I was looking at my eyes. I was looking at the desire all over my face. I was looking at a sexual being. And that. I was, like, full. That is sexy. Like, I saw myself as a sexual being in some. Like, the way someone else would see me.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And it wasn't aesthetically, like, perfect. It wasn't porn. It was a woman in a state of desire and pleasure, and it was hot.

[Laura Roscholi]

So interesting that you. Obviously, we all know our imperfections better than anyone else, and we're the most critical of ourselves. But in that moment, you didn't see the imperfections that you normally saw.

[Alice]

No.

[Laura Roscholi]

Something different.

[Alice]

I saw something different. And that's. I think that's the key thing for me, is it didn't change me into being like, I'm sexy because of my body or because of this or I look sexy in a mirror. It changed me to, who gives a shit? I don't care.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

My body is a vessel not just for the clothes that I love and the food that I want to eat and hugging my kids. My body is a vessel for pleasure. And that is sexy.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And the way that I do that, the way that I give myself to do that is sexy. The way that I take pleasure is sexy. And that was absolutely mind blowing for me.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

Because it wasn't actually about him.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yes.

[Alice]

And it wasn't about a certain weight or about a certain. It was about me.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And it was a. It was the first time that I came home to myself.

[Laura Roscholi]

Wow.

[Alice]

In a very, I don't know, maybe my whole life.

[Laura Roscholi]

So did you look at. Were you looking into your own eyes as you came in the mirror?

[Alice]

Yep.

[Laura Roscholi]

And not at any point did you feel uncomfortable? You were just like, this is. You saw something that made you feel empowered, alive?

[Alice]

I think I was uncomfortable in some ways and fascinated to watch and to see and. Yeah. And I. I can still remember in detail all of it.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Alice]

My face, the position, it was.

[Laura Roscholi]

What was his reaction?

[Alice]

I think he turned him on immensely.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And it ended up being like a six hour. Incredible. Some of the best sex we've ever had in my life.

[Laura Roscholi]

Gracious six hours.

[Alice]

Yeah. I get tired, girl. Like, I don't.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

I'm not here for a quickie. I mean, I am, but like, impressive. Like, this is what I mean. It can be exhausting. Like, like all, like all sympathy to like, not sympathy, but like I get the girls who are like, you know, into like impact, play, submission or like shibari or whatever. Like that's physically draining. But she's coming 20 times over six hours. Like, that is tiring.

[Laura Roscholi]

Also, is this sort of like the first experience or one of the first experiences where you're experiencing like an empowering orgasm or has this happened?

[Alice]

I think I had a few. Look, to be honest, I think all of the most amazing orgasms that I. I'd had since the opening up of our relationship. And like, I'm going to be clear, I lived my slut era late. I went to a high school where, like, slut shaming was the only sport we did. And then I like hooked up and I stayed married for like 20 years. Yeah. So like my era was late. It was skinny. For the first time in my life, like, I went hard. I had a lot of.

[Laura Roscholi]

You did it all.

[Alice]

I did it all. I had a good time. But the only really amazing experiences that I'd had were with pleasure doms.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

I. I really enjoyed that. And I'd had some really incredible times, but this was almost a mix of the two.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

This was that intensity and that connection and that, like, thing, but also this presence and being present in my body. And that relationship continued. And I don't think about my. I mean, who stopped sleeping with that guy? Right. Well, yeah, we're going to continue.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. What else is there to be revealed?

[Alice]

We stay sleeping with that guy. I don't think about my body when I'm with him.

[Laura Roscholi]

I was gonna say, like, what has that experience changed for you?

[Alice]

I'm. My body is not. Is not the be all and end all. How I look is not the be all and end all the. I. I think I went from being a big woman who was confident because I believed in, like, a body neutrality.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And then I was like, I'm hot. Like, I got hot, and I was like, I'm hot. And that was, you know, I. And then I kind of reached a point where I'm actually just. Like, my body's a vessel for pleasure.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And in the same way. And I. And I feel neutral in my body when I'm having sex now. I'm not, like, searching for, dude, did you. I'm not. I'm not trying to pose myself to look appealing to the person with me. I'm gonna. I'm gonna take my pleasure. I'm gonna give them pleasure, and I'm gonna get into it.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. Does it change how you, like, walk down the street, dress? Like, does it. Does it. How to change? Has it changed anything about the way you go about your everyday life? Oh, God.

[Alice]

Yeah. I think. I mean, I want to be clear that that happened before the end of my marriage.

[Laura Roscholi]

Right. Okay.

[Alice]

My. My marriage ending was probably because of that realization. Because of that realization. Yeah. I think I. In finding that in myself, I found a lot more and more of myself, and I started to seek out finding more and more of me.

[Laura Roscholi]

Well, I mean, why would you. How could you live with people or something in your life that isn't allowing you to feel that way?

[Alice]

Yeah. You.

[Laura Roscholi]

Now that you know it.

[Alice]

And also, like, what else is there to discover?

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

Like, I was 37. How old am I? Yeah, I was 37 years old, and I was like, holy. How much have I missed? Right.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

Like, how. And it's not even, you know, what. What have I missed? Like, how. How do I go and find me? What do I. Like, what do I want? Like, it was this, like, an opening of a box, and my old relationship was not going to serve that.

[Laura Roscholi]

No.

[Alice]

It hadn't been for a long time and it never could because it involved self reflection, it involved self discovery, and you cannot do that with the person who's known you since you're 15 by your side. I don't think to a point, maybe, yeah. But not as far as I needed to go.

[Laura Roscholi]

What did you. What did you discover? What. What have you discovered about yourself since that moment?

[Alice]

That I'm autistic, that I have adhd, That I love parenting in a unit of, like, community instead of in a nuclear family. That I enjoy submissiveness as a gift to people rather than a way to avoid putting myself out there. Instead, it's my gift that I give.

[Laura Roscholi]

So cool. Like a reframing.

[Alice]

It's a. Yeah. I think I reframed a lot of things in myself. I changed a lot of relationships. I, you know, friendships that weren't serving me, where I was playing the role of like, like the. I think I was always a supporting character in everyone else's life, and I think it gave me main character energy.

[Laura Roscholi]

Nice.

[Alice]

I think. I think that was probably the key thing. It gave me main character energy and I moved forward. And I'm not saying it all like I didn't wake up the next day and all of a sudden, but it started. It started a rethinking and it started a reframing of my life to. To be really different.

[Laura Roscholi]

Does it. Did it change the way that you see your body in an everyday sense as well?

[Alice]

It. I still see my body the way I saw it before. I still see the flaws. I still see the things that are good. I still stress with weight fluctuations the way everyone does. Killer here, killer there, and. But I stopped thinking that it defined my sexiness.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

I think if someone's really shallow or if someone is only aroused by someone looking like a model, then, yeah, I'm probably not going to be for you.

[Laura Roscholi]

But that's on them.

[Alice]

But. Well, not is it on them, but, like, I don't really want. Want to play with you because I've had experiences like this.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And like, you're, quite frankly, like, that energy is beneath mine.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. Love that.

[Alice]

Yeah.

[Laura Roscholi]

We're going to take a quick ad break, but stick around because we'll be back with more the sex that changed my life.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Kim Holderness]

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[Styles Mackenzie]

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[Alice]

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[Host/Producer]

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[Alice]

That was easy. So I own a coffee shop and I wanted to label everything with our logo. That's ambitious.

[Laura Roscholi]

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[Alice]

Ooh, that'll add up.

[Laura Roscholi]

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[Alice]

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[Host/Producer]

That's shockingly affordable branding.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yep. Now our logo and URL are seen all over town.

[Host/Producer]

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[Alice]

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[Host/Producer]

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[Alice]

Visit staples.comprint for details.

[Laura Roscholi]

Okay, so I know that this relationship has been ongoing and then has turned into also a business venture.

[Alice]

Yeah.

[Laura Roscholi]

Can we talk a little bit about that?

[Alice]

Yeah. So it prompted the idea for a venture. So I obviously have been in a relationship my whole life and I was used to only having sex with that person.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yes.

[Alice]

When I opened up my relationship. I met a lot of amazing women and I was really blessed that someone connected me in with someone who was a part of an A and M community. And I made connections and friendships. And as a part of that, a lot of people that are entering that space are people who are just coming out of long term relationships and they're exploring themselves for the first time. And it is shocking and so hard how many of these women come out of these relationships, whether they be toxic, whether they be just long term monogamy, whatever. And they do not see themselves as sexual beings. They want it. Especially when you talk about a certain age bracket, right?

[Laura Roscholi]

Yes.

[Alice]

So that, like that kind of divorcing age bracket, like, that's my age bracket. And so it's surrounded by these women and they're like coming into their like sexual peak. They're, they're horny. Right. They're out there, they want it, they haven't had it in years. It's not been great. And they're so self conscious. And they also grew up in an era like, I'm a girl from like, you know, I started having sex in the like early 2000s. Like not a great time for women. Like, you know, we idealize like Usher songs, which are basically like, how romantic that he's sorry that he cheated on me. Like, we.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yes.

[Alice]

Our standards were low. Super performative. First kind of the first like era of guys that had like easy access to like porn. They expect that's the sex they expected when we first. And it was like mainstream, like all Made in the US like really like male porn. There was no, no female option. Like, no real pleasure. Like, that's the guys that we first started sleeping with.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And then we ruined us and then we married them and they continue to like jackrabbit us for 15 minutes and move on. Right. I will. Like, that's not fair. My husband, he was better than that. But like, but in general, that's kind of what we grew up with. Yes. And you know, we haven't dated in ages. And as these women are coming out of these relationships, I was seeing them around me and having these conversations where they were just stuck. They were like, oh, I actually don't orgasm. And I'm like, I don't think that's true or like that. I, you know, I can only come with this certain thing or I can only come with the toy. They had all these hang ups around their pleasure or like, oh, and it's just not fair. Like, I don't, I don't want to make someone do that. I feel really bad because I can't come. And I was like, I don't know, I'm not sure. Okay. Because at this point I've had all these experiences and I was having these amazing sex and I was like, I don't necessarily think we're giving ourselves enough credit.

[Laura Roscholi]

Did you have the same belief that they had, like when you were still in that relationship? Was that sort of. Did you recognize yourself in them at all when they were having these hang ups?

[Alice]

Yeah, 100%. And. But it was more. I want to be clear. My husband wasn't bad. Like, he was probably one of the better ones. Right. He's queer.

[Laura Roscholi]

He.

[Alice]

He cared. He, you know, he was not a bad sexual partner. It's just, it kind of died.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yes.

[Alice]

The sexual relationship died.

[Laura Roscholi]

And that's a term for it now they call it dead bedroom.

[Alice]

It was dead.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And we didn't. I didn't. Yeah, it died.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. So you just hadn't had that experience?

[Alice]

No, it died. And I, Well, I did, but like with toys or very forced or what. That sexual desire was dead and I felt my sexuality was tied to him.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. Okay.

[Alice]

You know, my sex was his sex because that's all it had ever been. And I saw that with women and I remember thinking like, how the hell do you come out and have a 20 or whatever year relationship end to divorce end and you haven't had sex with anyone else in 20 years? See, I had this like soft launch, right. Like I'd had like two years at this point where I was sleeping with other people and having other experiences.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yes.

[Alice]

So by the time he was gone, I was like, I kind of got this, like, I can do this.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Alice]

But a lot of women don't.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. It's like cold turkey.

[Alice]

And it started to really impact me. It started to really make me feel very sad. And, and yeah, but I knew someone.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yes.

[Alice]

Like, I knew a guy who like had a skill.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Alice]

And who loved that skill. And then I met other guys who had these skills and so I started business.

[Laura Roscholi]

Tell the listeners what your business, it's the most iconic business. So like, just for a bit of context, I met Alice about a year ago at an event and someone else pulled me over and said, you have to speak to this woman. She owns the most incredible business, which is Goddess Glow.

[Alice]

Yes. So Goddess Glow is a female run, female centric, female serving massage company. So we do erotic and central massage. So our. We are all about women. We are all about non performativeness and essentially we are about serving women and breaking those barriers between I can't come or I'm stuck in this, or I need this breakthrough to just be in their bodies, receive, give nothing back, and just drop back into themselves. Feel that moment where they don't need anything other than pleasure.

[Laura Roscholi]

So can you talk me through what a session looks like?

[Alice]

Yeah. So I handle all the communications, which is I. It's my passion project. Like, I love it. It's my ode to women, I call it.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yes.

[Alice]

And essentially I talk to women, I find out what they're looking for, why they've come to us, how they've come to us. Like, you know, sometimes it's. They just want some fun. You know, they've heard about happy endings for men and they're like, oh, my God, amazing. You know, they're ready, they're progressive. Sometimes it might be that they've had sexual trauma. And so I'll really, you know, talk to them and understand, like, what that looks like not being a long term relationship. And they're ready to get back out there and experience pleasure, but they've got this blocker happening and they just can't push through. And it's about freeing that. Or it might be that they are, I can only come with a toy or I can only come in this certain way or. And we're just like, no. And it happens to all the time. People go, oh, you know, you can tell your masseuse, like, I'm so sorry, like, I just don't come. And I'm like, sure, yeah, let's chat

[Laura Roscholi]

about this after the session. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come back to me at the end.

[Alice]

You can be surprised.

[Laura Roscholi]

So you're. So your masseuses are at the moment all men?

[Alice]

No. Oh, they were. Very recently, we are now collaborating with two females, which is super exciting, fun. A big part of that. It was something that we took a while to get to. But a big part of that is we have couple. And this is one of the stories that I tell. When we first started one of our very first massage clients, I found out afterwards that after the massage she left her husband.

[Laura Roscholi]

Oh, wow.

[Alice]

Because she'd had an orgasm for the first time in, like years. And she was like, if this stranger can do this to me in one hour, obviously there's a lot of other stuff leading up to it.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

But one of these things is this sexual dissatisfaction, which she'd half blamed herself for, of course. And then in an hour we were like, no, it's not your fault, babe. And she was like, I'm out.

[Laura Roscholi]

Wow.

[Alice]

And we're like, oh, wow. Okay. And then we had someone else who took it a different way and went back to their partner and was like, hey, I'm on the edge of leaving here because you. I'm not getting there. I'm not. This is what worked in this space, and I know I can do it. So let's work together to make it happen.

[Laura Roscholi]

That's awesome.

[Alice]

So then we started doing workshops and, like, couples, like private workshops and big ones. And we're like, maybe we should, like, help people instead of just like taking them away. Yeah. Because I think and I. It's an unusual business model in the sense that, like, I don't consider someone coming back multiple times to be a success. I don't want a client or a customer getting addicted to this experience. I want them to go and demand it in their everyday life. Yeah. I want them to go into their relationship because I'm sorry, if you don't have an hour to make the woman that you are in a relationship with come you.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

Like, I'm sorry, but, like, you don't deserve this woman.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

So it's about, like taking a woman and showing them what their body can do. Yes. And showing them the pleasure they deserve and kind of getting them back out there in the world to take it.

[Laura Roscholi]

It might also be a little bit about teaching men how to do it, because I think.

[Alice]

Which is why we started the workshop.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Laura Roscholi]

There's this thing of like, you just need to know and no one knows unless you take the time you put upon yourself to, like, learn.

[Alice]

And look, one of the first workshops we did, we had multiple lesbian couples come along.

[Laura Roscholi]

Oh, wow.

[Alice]

And I loved that, that they were like, you know, I feel like we could learn some stuff as well. And I did a one on one class with one of our massages because I'm. I've got that classic thing of like a bi girl who was always with men. And then all of a sudden was like, I hate. The girls are so pretty and I'm scared of them and I want to do good and I don't know what I'm doing. And I've had so many men fumble around me. I'm like, I don't want to be that with a woman. Like, I want to fumble a woman. They're so precious and beautiful.

[Host/Producer]

Beautiful.

[Alice]

Like, I want to get it right.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

So I have like, the. The like our, like, lead mysteries. Do a class with me and another girl who felt the same. And it was Fascinating. Like three hours in a hotel room where he was like, we were practicing on each other and the amount that I learned, I was like, oh my God. Like I could not believe how much about consent and about watching a person's body and all these like little signs and all these movements. I was like, my mind was blown.

[Laura Roscholi]

I'm so curious on who these masseuses are. Like, why do they have this special skill? Are they all pleasure doms or what's the.

[Alice]

Yeah, yeah. So for me, the men will only hire pleasure doms because women know if you're enjoying yourself or not.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

We are so self conscious in that that we're going to pick up on anything. So the hiring and working with pleasure doms means that even if they're not, they're professional. They're super professional. Right. But they're going to enjoy it because they're, they're, they enjoy that.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yes.

[Alice]

You know, like they don't need to be necessarily have a strong attraction to that woman. It doesn't matter to them. They're attracted to pleasure.

[Laura Roscholi]

They're a task, task driven and they

[Alice]

genuinely care about pleasure.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

You know, so, so they, they're going to enjoy themselves and enjoy their job because they're giving pleasure and they like to do that.

[Laura Roscholi]

So with the women pleasured arms as well.

[Alice]

So the women are not the women. The reason we put the women in is because a, because I think that sometimes women are more comfortable with women and I want to be able to offer them that option. Also for the women themselves who are doing the work, creating a space for them to do it the way they want to do it non performatively is a, is a real pleasure. So these are women who have you only worked in salons or whatever where they've been, you know, servicing men in that space and they don't get to be their true selves.

[Laura Roscholi]

How do you hire slash audition these masseuses?

[Alice]

Oh my God. I mean, it's a really tough job. It's hard. Sounds terrible. If you'd like to join me sometime. It's really tough. Oh yeah, look. Essentially I started this business with a male masseuse who is our number one. He's our trainer. Very, very solid pleasure dom. Very good at what he does. Originally it was just the two of us and then we've expanded out. So I don't like being massaged. I don't like being touched by strangers.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah, interesting.

[Alice]

I know, wild for someone who regularly seeks out being touched by strangers. But I don't like that, like Anyway, so we test, we trial, we ask them to bring their A game, we put our boundaries in place and we get them to show us what they've got and show both someone who is prickly and challenging. So do you put someone who loves it?

[Laura Roscholi]

So do you put like a person, like essentially give them like a free session, a person that you trust, and then do they report back to you or how does it work?

[Alice]

So the main one we've done was like, probably best way to describe it is we had two massage tables set up in the same room. We had our primary masseuse and the person we were auditioning and myself and a client who has used us previously, knows us well, is quite open and is really body confident and into it. And like, because you get kind of a spectrum of women. Right. Like, some are just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. And some are like, to me, so I'm the. This.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And the other girl that was in the room is like the. Oh, bring it on. Kind of the type. So. And then we kind of got them to alternate so that he could watch because it's our business. Right. Like, he's a big part of that as well. He's kind of like the. The behind a bit more private person.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

But he's a really key part of that. And so he wanted to see and wanted to bring that energy.

[Laura Roscholi]

To be clear, this other person who's in the business with you is the person who gave you this mirror experience. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Very important three line.

[Alice]

Yes. So it is the same person. So we then went into business together.

[Laura Roscholi]

Wow.

[Alice]

To like, give this to other people.

[Laura Roscholi]

That's so unique.

[Alice]

It is. And it's a really. Yeah, it's very interesting. And so it allows me to really confidently talk to women and say, like, it's okay, sweetheart. Like, I know you're gonna have a good time. Like, I know it's okay. I know this person has you. I try. Trusted them with my life.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yes.

[Alice]

And my identity. Like, you can too. And I can mean that with every single ounce of my being, which I love.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

Yeah.

[Laura Roscholi]

What's the. I just want to think about the best way to frame this sentence. What's been the biggest takeaway from witnessing women in this stage of life and this mental stage for you? What's been the biggest takeaway?

[Alice]

That it's heartbreaking. That, that it's really heartbreaking.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

Like, it. It shatters me.

[Laura Roscholi]

And so common.

[Alice]

It sounds. It's so common. It's. It's so common that, like, it's almost boring in its commonality, but it's too depressing to be women who are coming out of long term relationships in their late 30s to, well, you know, mid-30s to mid-40s, like this kind of. And it is like an epidemic. Right. Like you ask anyone, you ask any marriage cycle, it is an epidemic and they're coming out of it and it is tragic how low their expectations are.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And it is. If they're dating men their own age who are in similar situations, it's just someone else's same problem.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Alice]

In the nicest possible way. Like, it's just like we're just swapping. You can have my like ex husband who's, you know, not delivering and I'll take yours for a bit. But it's the same ride.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. Do you feel like it sounds to me that you're giving women more than an orgasm.

[Alice]

You're giving them a hundred percent like

[Laura Roscholi]

a, like a belief in their body that they didn't have before.

[Alice]

That's 100 what it is. It's. It's like showing them what they can do.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yes.

[Alice]

It's almost like a, like a quick personal training session. Right. It's like if you think you can't do this, or you think you're not entitled to this, or you think you couldn't ever relax and just receive without giving, you're wrong.

[Laura Roscholi]

Think again.

[Alice]

Think again. Let me show you what you can do. Let me show you what a boss you are. That you can lie there and you can give yourself over to pleasure and just enjoy yourself.

[Laura Roscholi]

For anyone listening who's curious about how to have a session, what can they. How do they get in touch with you?

[Alice]

So we are Goddess Glow Melbourne on Instagram and if you just reach out through the PM in that I am there and I will chat and talk through and answer a million questions, there

[Laura Roscholi]

might be some straight men listening slash watching.

[Alice]

Hi.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah, I hope they're here and if they are, I'm sure they're thinking, how do I do this?

[Alice]

If they are, they're already one step ahead of a lot of men.

[Laura Roscholi]

Totally.

[Alice]

If they're engaging in a podcast about

[Laura Roscholi]

sex snaps with a straight man that are here. Ye.

[Alice]

Thank you for coming because that's how we come. Like, I realistically think interest, wanting to learn, being open, being vulnerable, asking the questions and really encouraging a non performative sexual interaction is the key. I cannot tell you whether or not like to get a bit graphic, but like when I did my little, like when we did our little Class, I was like, so, like, I know how I like my clitoris to be touched. Turns out not everyone's the same.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

Up, down, around, different motions, all different. Test, be interested, look at body language. See, like, ask. Often women, by this point we know.

[Styles Mackenzie]

Right.

[Alice]

Like we've got some idea of what we like and don't like.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

Ask the questions and don't be afraid. I think men were taught through porn as many negative things as women were.

[Laura Roscholi]

Totally agree.

[Alice]

The same way we were taught to be performative and quiet and grateful. They were taught that the best way to have sex is to do it to a person. Yeah. Not with a person, but to a person.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

And that is damaging because everybody is different and you don't have to be some like non stop stud to like give good sex.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

Take your time, slow down, ask questions. Doesn't make you at sex. It actually makes you better.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. Amazing.

[Alice]

Or come to one of our workshops. Yes.

[Laura Roscholi]

I was gonna say, do you have.

[Alice]

Yes.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah. Tell me.

[Alice]

They'll be all up on the website.

[Laura Roscholi]

You are learning by doing like, like

[Alice]

imagine you're going yoga class except to like learn erotic massage. Wow, that sounds like it's really fun. You can, you can come.

[Laura Roscholi]

Please.

[Alice]

It's great. Yeah, it's really, it's really enjoyable and it's really interesting. And you, you look around the room and you see different people reacting to different things and you test and trial different pressure points and pleasure points and different ways of movement and you're looking at body language. And we usually have a model up the front who is literally experiencing it and.

[Laura Roscholi]

Okay, right.

[Alice]

All the way through to like, we do like, like squirting workshops and stuff. If like that's something that you're like interested in learning a bit more about as a kind of release. So. Yeah, that's pretty interesting.

[Laura Roscholi]

Have you ever had a situation where the person has not had a happy ending?

[Alice]

No, we don't like to advertise that or promise it because. Only because it puts a huge amount of pressure on the woman. And a lot of these women already feel pressure.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

They already feel like they don't be the first one. Yeah, yeah.

[Laura Roscholi]

Even that.

[Alice]

But like, often some of their trauma is based in that. Right. Like, like a man's been like, oh, it's so hard to make you come. Right. And. And has made them feel bad about it or made them feel like it takes ages to get there or they felt guilty.

[Laura Roscholi]

The actual audacity. I can't.

[Alice]

Well, but it's all. And it's Coming from the women themselves a lot as well. They're like, I'm so. I just. Although, you know, they'll fake it or they'll do whatever. And it's not necessarily even to say that the man that they're with is always not necessarily interested, but it's more that it just takes time and direction and they don't want to do that. And so they kind of just like, tap out. No, it's too hard. Or don't worry. Or like, you're. Your pleasure's enough for me. And so we don't want to put that pressure on them if they've got it in their head that they can't come.

[Laura Roscholi]

Yeah.

[Alice]

So what we just say is, like, have a good time. Just relax. You will feel pleasure. You will feel relaxation. You will feel sensuality. You will. But yeah, we don't like to advertise it. We don't like to advertise it, but, yeah, we. We don't. We've. No, we've not yet failed. I love it.

[Laura Roscholi]

Alice, thank you so much for coming and talking to me.

[Alice]

Thank you for having me. It was really fun.

[Laura Roscholi]

It's been a joy. I've learned so much.

[Alice]

Too much.

[Laura Roscholi]

No, never. No such thing.

[Alice]

Okay. Excellent. Good.

[Laura Roscholi]

I'll be coming to one of those workshops.

[Alice]

Yeah, do. They're so fun. They're really cool. Then you get my massages after.

[Host/Producer]

Woo.

[Laura Roscholi]

Let's go. That conversation really reminded me that so many women just don't see their bodies as vessels for pleasure. It's something we've been taught, you know, through storytelling around relationships, that women are just meant to facilitate male pleasure, to make the man come or to come for him. It's even something that's baked into actual dirty talk. Like when they say, come for me, baby, you know, that request has always made me cringe. And I think it's because it feels performative and fake or like, it's just not for me. But of course, female bodies are designed to feel and receive pleasure. And our lives change once we understand that and once we experience it. I think that when we don't allow ourselves to receive pleasure, we're not just doing ourselves a disservice. We're also doing a disservice to the men or to lovers in general, because they'll never learn if we don't show them. And we need to understand what our body's like before we can show them. Like, we need to learn to let ourselves go, to let go of the shame and to let go of the ego. I Think Alice is helping women like me do that? So we've popped the link to her business goddess Glow into the podcast notes if you want to learn more or experience it for yourself. Thanks for listening. Tune in next week because I'm talking with a woman who dated her university professor for five years. It's juicy. We'll see you next week.

[Host/Producer]

And that was the sex that changed my life. New episodes are going to arrive weekly from now on and it's a video podcast, so you can actually watch it on Spotify or YouTube or you can just listen to it on Apple Podcasts. And this week for what It Was like subscribers, we've got a bonus interview with one of the men who works at Ellis's Happy Endings massage parlor. So this guy's name's Andy and his job quite literally is to give women orgasms for a living, which. Which frankly, seems sounds like a lot of pressure. I think I was really curious about what this job involves, you know, the skill, the psychology, the emotional side of it. So we dive into this for our subscribers this week. So. So go check it out. I think it's a really interesting conversation. What It Was like is produced by Rachel Tuffery. This episode was edited by Ellie Dickey, who also does our research. Our cover art is by Rich Akers, our theme music is by Jimmy Saunders, and this whole thing has been a super ill production. See you next week.

[Alice]

Foreign.

[Kim Holderness]

This is Kim Holderness from the Laugh Lines podcast and welcome to your Peloton Pilates era. Built on precision, backed by results and trusted by over 2 million members, Pilates with Peloton might just be your new favorite workout. Peloton has Pilates instructors with true expertise and is offered offering classes for every level from foundational to powerfully challenging. Choose from 10 to 45 minute sessions with little to no equipment, anytime, anywhere and with a cross training swivel screen, you can move seamlessly from cardio to mat press. Pilates. Small moves, big impact. Find out [e-mail] Pilates

[Alice]

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[Host/Producer]

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[Alice]

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[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Alice]

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[Host/Producer]

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