What It Was Like – "The Journal Found Beside a Dead Man in Alaska"

Host: Julian Morgans
Guest: Chris Capps, journalist
Release Date: December 20, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the haunting, tragic story of Karl McCunn, a young man who sought solitude and self-discovery in the Alaskan wilderness in 1981. Tragically, a simple miscommunication and a series of small mistakes left him stranded, leading to his slow death over the course of months. His ordeal, chronicled in a poignant diary later transcribed by journalist Chris Capps, provides an intimate, unfiltered window into extreme isolation, human error, and the unforgiving nature of the Alaskan wilds.

Key Themes and Discussion Points

Setting the Stage: Mythology of the Wilderness

• Podcast host Julian Morgans introduces the enduring fascination with wilderness survival stories and how Alaska, in particular, draws dreamers, hermits, and adventurers (05:00–06:00).
• Karl McCunn isn’t as well-remembered as those like Christopher McCandless ("Into the Wild"), but his diary survives as a meticulous record of his thoughts and fate.

The Reporter’s Perspective: Chris Capps

• Chris shares her background: arriving as a crime reporter in Alaska, often visiting the coroner’s office for stories (06:12).
• The first time she read Karl’s diary:

  “If I could write a story that people feel the way I feel right now, this is going to be a great story because it was just a oh, my gosh feeling at the end because it does not have a happy ending.” —Chris Capps (07:10)

• She painstakingly transcribed much of the 100-page diary to capture McCunn’s final months (07:50).

Who Was Karl McCunn?

• Ordinary, blue-collar, seeking meaning and personal redemption in nature (08:29).
• Even at the end, remained concerned with things like unpaid taxes:

  “If you can imagine, he's starving to death. He writes a letter to the IRS going, I have to confess I haven't been paying my taxes... but as soon as I get back, I promise you I'm going to make this right.” —Chris Capps (08:45)

• Strong familial regrets and introspective self-critique emerge as the diary progresses.

The Fatal Trip: What Went Wrong

Miscommunication and Planning Failures

• Karl assumed a friend (Rory Cruikshank, a pilot) would collect him from the lake at summer’s end, based on a vague conversation while drinking (09:38–10:00).
  • Rory, it turned out, thought he’d declined and never agreed to any pickup.
• Karl brought a massive amount of supplies for the summer: beans, rice, film, rifles, but his plans for pickup were fatally unclear (09:45–11:06).

Boredom, Food Fantasies, and Growing Anxiety

• Diary early on: boredom and obsession with food become Karl’s main companions.

  “With this damn weather, I’m bored shitless... I sure have been having some food fantasies lately.” —Chris Capps reading Karl (11:06)

• Even as supplies dwindle, Karl remains hopeful Rory will arrive.

Critical Mistakes

1. Disposal of Ammunition

   • Karl threw most of his shotgun shells into the lake, thinking he wouldn’t need them:

     “I felt like a warmonger. So I threw them all away into the lake, except for about a dozen. Real bright. Who would have known I might need them just to keep from starving?” —Karl’s diary (14:27)

   • Seen as a turning point contributing to his decline.

2. Location Choice

   • Chose a valley far from game and flight paths, ignored pilot’s advice to relocate (12:20).

3. Misinterpreted Rescue Signs

   • In September, troopers looking for him in a plane mistook Karl’s casual arm wave for an “all okay” signal (17:41–18:34):

     “He’d accidentally given the sign for all okay, do not wait....‘It’s certainly my fault I’m here now. I really feel like a klutz. Probably another five months before another plane passes over.’” —Julian Morgans, quoting Karl (18:34)

Alaska’s Harsh Lessons and Broader Reflections

Unforgiving Environment & Local Attitudes

• Alaskan reactions contrast with outside responses: locals were critical of McCunn’s self-imposed peril (15:39)

  “You can’t push the envelope in Alaska. It doesn’t work. You oftentimes are not saved.” —Chris Capps (15:54)

• Alaska as a magnet for self-discovery:

  “Always it's the sexy draw. It's vast and it's beautiful and you can go to places. There's no civilization.” —Chris Capps (16:48)

Frequency of Stories Like Karl’s

• Incidents happened regularly—especially before satellite phones (16:31).

Karl’s Final Months: Descent into Despair

The Diary’s Emotional Power

• Chris and Julian read Karl’s words as supplies run out, the temperature plunges, and hope fades (23:48–33:39).
  • “Loneliness is being stranded, hungry and frostbitten... only to have the sound of his engine fade... and that ever present ringing in your ears. And the return of that empty, desolate numbness to the cold, deep pit of your stomach.” —Karl’s diary, read by Chris Capps (20:05)
• Resignation, hunger, and flashes of humor persist until the end:

  “Wish the IRS would fly out here and arrest me. Wouldn’t that be something?” —Karl’s diary (25:48) “But then again, I sure want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some of Jan’s cheesecake again.” —Karl’s diary (27:26)

• Final entries addressed to family, blending despair and a plea for forgiveness (36:15–37:22):

  “I just didn’t have it in me to go on like this anymore. Please forgive me. I hope no one finds me in time to spoil your Christmas.” —Karl’s final letter to his mother (36:15)

Discovery and Aftermath

Karl’s Body is Found

• Misinformation (“he’s back in another town”) delayed alarm; he was eventually found by troopers on February 2nd, tent zipped shut, having died by suicide (38:06–39:04).

  “There was no definite person in charge of getting Carl out... it’s like a volleyball game... and everyone says afterwards, ‘oh, I should have gotten it.’” —Friend at inquest, read by Chris Capps (39:04)

Public Reaction & Legacy

• Chris’s original five-part story stirred intense local interest (40:44–41:09).

  “People wanted to name mountains after Karl Macan... this story got so much sudden coverage…” —Chris Capps (41:41)

• But, no book, and Karl’s diary remains mostly unknown outside Alaska. Family owns it to this day.

Reflections & Moral

Pragmatic Warnings from Alaska

• Chris Capps’ blunt perspective:

  “If you’re going to plan an adventure like that by yourself, make sure someone knows... Alaska is not an easy place for people who don’t plan ahead.” (43:57)

• She describes the archetype as the “End of the Roaders”—dreamers who underestimate nature (43:02).

Enduring Detail

• The power of Karl’s diary is its raw honesty and the way it makes his suffering and solitude feel immediate and personal, to both Chris and readers.

  “I felt like he was talking to me, and so I think that’s how readers felt when they read the story.” —Chris Capps (44:34)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “If I could write a story that people feel the way I feel right now, this is going to be a great story... it does not have a happy ending.”
  —Chris Capps (07:10)
• “I kept thinking of all the shotgun shells I threw away about two months ago... Who would have known I might need them just to keep from starving? Another of my great moves.”
  —Karl’s diary, read by Chris (14:27)
• “He’d accidentally given the sign for all okay, do not wait.”
  —Julian Morgans (18:34)
• “Loneliness is being stranded, hungry and frostbitten cold in a vast white frozen arctic wilderness.”
  —Karl’s diary, read by Chris (20:05)
• “Wish the IRS would fly out here and arrest me. Wouldn’t that be something?”
  —Karl’s diary (25:48)
• “If you're going to plan an adventure like that by yourself, make sure someone knows, because it's not going to just all work out. That doesn't happen in Alaska.”
  —Chris Capps (43:57)

Conclusion

The episode is a stark, emotionally charged portrait of human error, isolation, and nature’s impartiality. Through Chris Capps’s painstaking transcription and Julian’s sensitive interview, listeners are granted rare access to the actual voice of someone slowly realizing their end. The story is both a cautionary tale about the dangers of underestimating the wild—and a tribute to the haunting honesty that can emerge in absolute solitude.

Chapter Guide

• 02:15 – First reading of Karl’s words (the infamous loneliness quote)
• 06:00 – Chris Capps’s introduction and discovery of the diary
• 11:06 – Early diary entries: boredom and food fantasies
• 14:27 – Ammunition mistake, regrets
• 17:41 – Rescued possibility and misinterpreted signal
• 20:05 – Poetic meditation on loneliness
• 23:48–33:39 – Descent, resourcefulness, and despair in diary readings
• 36:15 – Final letter excerpts to family
• 38:21 – Search and tragic discovery
• 41:09 – Public reaction and legacy
• 43:57 – Chris’s pragmatic warning for would-be adventurers

For listeners interested in further exploration, the diary remains with Karl McCunn's family, and the mythos of the Alaskan wild endures. If you take one lesson from this story, let it be: plan ahead, clearly communicate your plans, and respect the wilderness—or risk vanishing into its silence.