For Kids or Anyone Who’s Ever Been a Kid [VIDEO]

Summary

Podcast Summary: "For Kids or Anyone Who’s Ever Been a Kid"

Podcast Information:

• Title: What Now? with Trevor Noah
• Host: Spotify Studios
• Episode: For Kids or Anyone Who’s Ever Been a Kid [VIDEO]
• Release Date: October 17, 2024

---

Introduction

In the episode titled "For Kids or Anyone Who’s Ever Been a Kid," Trevor Noah delves into the intricate dynamics between children and adults. Moving beyond traditional discussions of parenting, Noah seeks to understand childhood from the perspective of the children themselves. By engaging with a group of young guests, including Charlie, Nola, Eden, Juniper, and Cana, the episode uncovers the authentic thoughts, feelings, and insights that children possess about their relationships with adults and the world around them.

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Opening Discussion: Who Cries More?

Timestamp: [00:00] - [00:35]

The episode kicks off with a light-hearted debate initiated by Trevor Noah:

• Trevor Noah: "Who do you think cries more, kids or adults?"
• Kayna: "Adults."
• Charlie: "Kids," later adding "babies."

This playful exchange sets the tone for a deeper exploration of emotional expressions across different age groups. The conversation underscores that both adults and children express emotions, albeit differently and for various reasons.

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Shifting Perspectives: Parenting and Understanding Kids

Timestamp: [00:30] - [07:40]

Trevor transitions into a more profound discussion about parenting, emphasizing that while many claim expertise in raising children, true understanding is elusive. He reflects on his own attempts to grasp the complexities of childhood, leading to insightful narratives from his guests.

• Christiana: Shares her transformative experience of becoming a mother. She highlights the shift from seeing herself as an individual to becoming the primary source of her child's nourishment and emotional support.

  Christiana [07:33]: "It was so stressful. But I just remember just waking up, and I'm like, I need to feed him, because he likes to sleep."

• Mateo: Illustrates the challenges of parental actions through a personal story about his father's unconventional method of helping him pull out a loose tooth using string tied to his daughter. This anecdote reveals the unpredictable and sometimes perplexing nature of parenting decisions.

  Mateo [08:06]: "If you start eating poorly, that affects your child."

Trevor and Christiana discuss the realization that parents, despite their best efforts, are fallible humans. This acknowledgment fosters a more compassionate and realistic understanding of parental roles.

---

The Erosion of the 'Village' in Modern Parenting

Timestamp: [14:42] - [28:16]

The conversation shifts to societal changes affecting parenting dynamics:

• Christiana: Nostalgically recalls a time when extended family and community members played active roles in child-rearing. She laments the decline of this communal support structure, attributing it to modern lifestyles and geographical dispersal.

  Christiana [26:35]: "You become very defensive of your choices because if your child fails, it's an indictment on you."

• Mateo: Describes the nurturing roles often filled by non-genetically related family members in his upbringing, contrasting it with the isolated nuclear family model prevalent today.

The guests collectively express concern over the increased pressure on individual parents, who now must navigate parenting without the traditional support of a broader community. This isolation can lead to heightened defensiveness and challenges in child-rearing.

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Engaging with Children: Insights from Young Minds

Timestamp: [19:07] - [57:50]

In a groundbreaking segment, Trevor introduces the core of the episode: conversations with children who serve as "experts on being children." This approach provides unfiltered insights into how kids perceive their lives, parents, and societal issues.

Children's Perceptions of Adult Lives and Jobs

• Charlie [21:18]: "Adults hang out on a couch and talk about life."
• Eden [21:32]: "I'm just saying scientist. Because my mom is a scientist."

Children's simplistic yet poignant interpretations of adult professions reveal a limited yet insightful understanding of the adult world. Their views often highlight the monotony and perceived lack of fulfillment in adult jobs.

Children's Desires for the World

The children articulate heartfelt and logical wishes for global improvement:

• Kayna [41:13]: "World hunger. Because I feel like that's their biggest problem."

  Trevor Noah [41:14]: "You say that, and it's probably true. End world hunger."

• Charlie [41:43]: "Make sure everyone has enough money to live and survive."

These responses demonstrate the innate empathy and problem-solving abilities that children possess, challenging adults to recognize and value these perspectives in shaping a better future.

Understanding and Emotional Needs

• Charlie [53:26]: "Adults sometimes don't understand kids' feelings and what they're going through."

  Trevor Noah [54:26]: "Kids are a lot more perceptive than we think."

Children express a yearning for adults to genuinely listen and understand their emotional experiences, highlighting a significant gap in communication and empathy between generations.

---

Bridging the Understanding Gap: Mutual Learning

Timestamp: [34:01] - [56:48]

The discussion evolves into actionable insights on how adults can better understand and support children:

• Mateo: Emphasizes the importance of recognizing children's inherent strengths and supporting their interests. He advocates for providing structure that aligns with children's natural behaviors rather than suppressing them.

  Mateo [36:15]: "If you put them in something they enjoy, like wrestling, they do better."

• Christiana: Suggests that parents adopt a humble approach, acknowledging their limitations and seeking support from various sources rather than trying to single-handedly meet all their children's needs.

  Christiana [34:54]: "I don't have enough. I can't... I'm compensating for the village, essentially."

Trevor Noah proposes innovative ideas to foster better parent-child relationships:

• End-of-Year Reviews: Introducing a system where children provide feedback to parents about what they did well or areas for improvement.

  Christiana [55:38]: "We should bring end of year reviews. Just be like, 'What did I do well this year?'"

• Active Listening: Encouraging parents to ask open-ended questions and genuinely consider their children's perspectives without judgment or immediate solutions.

  Trevor Noah [56:26]: "Ask your kids, 'How do you think we could improve this household?'"

These strategies aim to create a more collaborative and understanding environment, where children feel valued and heard, thereby strengthening familial bonds and fostering mutual growth.

---

Concluding Thoughts: Embracing Children's Insights for a Better Future

Timestamp: [56:48] - [57:50]

As the episode draws to a close, Trevor Noah reflects on the profound lessons learned from the children's perspectives:

• Trevor Noah: "Kids can tell you things about yourself that you need to work on. They tell you who you are, whether you like it or not."

• Mateo: "There are no such things as grownups. Kids get more responsibilities and have a harsher perspective."

The episode concludes with a call to action for adults to actively engage with children, listen to their insights, and incorporate their unique viewpoints into societal and personal development. By doing so, Trevor Noah envisions a world where the innate wisdom of children contributes to meaningful and lasting change.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Trevor Noah [07:34]: "Nobody's really an expert in [parenting]."
2. Christiana [07:40]: "I became a mom when I took Obie home from the hospital."
3. Mateo [08:18]: "If you start eating poorly, that affects your child."
4. Trevor Noah [14:42]: "I think childhood is the most important experience."
5. Charlie [28:32]: "Grown ups are boring and kids are fun."
6. Kayna [41:13]: "World hunger. Because I feel like that's their biggest problem."
7. Trevor Noah [54:26]: "Kids are a lot more perceptive than we think."
8. Christiana [55:38]: "We should bring end of year reviews."
9. Mateo [56:26]: "There are no such things as grownups."

---

Conclusion

This episode of "What Now? with Trevor Noah" offers a refreshing and insightful exploration of childhood from the children's vantage point. By prioritizing the voices of young minds, Trevor Noah highlights the importance of listening to and valuing children's perspectives in shaping a more empathetic and understanding society. The rich discussions and heartfelt reflections foster a deeper appreciation for the complexities of parenting and the untapped potential inherent in every child.

Whether you're a parent, educator, or simply someone interested in the nuances of human relationships, this episode provides valuable takeaways on bridging generational gaps and fostering meaningful connections across all ages.

Transcript

[Trevor Noah]

Who do you think cries more, kids or adults?

[Kayna]

Adults.

[Charlie]

Adults.

[Trevor Noah]

Let's have a vote. Okay. Kayna, you say adults. Adults. Charlie.

[Charlie]

Kids.

[Trevor Noah]

Kids.

[Charlie]

Babies.

[Trevor Noah]

Babies. Ooh, Juniper the contrarian. Okay. Throwing in babies. Mateo.

[Charlie]

It would have to be both, because, like, parents cry when somebody dies.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

And then kids cry when they lose something.

[Trevor Noah]

Ah. Okay.

[Charlie]

You'd have to say both.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, I see.

[Charlie]

I'll say babies.

[Trevor Noah]

Babies. Damn babies. We started off going after adults. Your mom said you couldn't say what.

[Christiana]

D a m e. Damn dam.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, damn. D A m N. Oh, D A m N. Okay, I won't say it either, then. Yeah, yeah, so I will. I. When I'm saying it, I'm talking about the thing they build in a river to stop water from going somewhere. That's a dam. That's a dam. This is what now with Trevor Noah. This message is a paid partnership with Apple Card. The holidays are almost here, and who doesn't love getting a little back? This season, I can earn up to 3% daily cash back on presents I buy for my loved ones with my Apple card without paying a single fee. It's simple and convenient because it's in the wallet app on my iPhone, so it's always with me. And because everything I need is in one place, it's easy to see what I've spent and make a payment. So if you have an iPhone, you can apply for an Apple card and start using it right away. It's easy. Subject to credit approval. Variable APRs for Apple Card range from 18.74% to 28.99% based on creditworthiness rates as of October 1, 2024. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch Member, FDIC terms and [e-mail] this episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. You want to run a successful business? Well, get ready to put in the work. Because no matter what your company does, no matter how big or small it is, it takes a lot of effort. Just look at what it takes to create even one episode of this podcast. We have to plan. We coordinate with guests, we find time to sit down and record, we have to edit, we have to market, and so much more. Now, of course, it helps to have a good team, but even finding the people for your team is a challenge because that's extra work you need to do on top of everything else you're already doing. And when you need to fill a role right away, it can feel impossible. Thankfully, there's a place you can go for help. ZipRecruiter. It does the work for you to make hiring fast and easy. The reason it works so quickly is because ZipRecruiter has amazing matching technology. Immediately after you post your job, it finds and sends you top candidates for your role so you can get back to running your business experience faster. Easier hiring with ZipRecruiter try it free at ZipRecruiter.com Trevor that's ZipRecruiter.com Trevor this episode is brought to you by Atlassian. Atlassian team collaboration software like jira, Confluence and Loom help power collaboration for enterprise companies around the globe. With products that enable AI powered teamwork, doing the impossible just became possible. So join the 83% of the Fortune 500 that trust Atlassian to help transform their enterprise. Learn how to unleash the potential of your [e-mail] and so for today's episode, I wanted to have a convers with you about children. But not like children through the lens of an expert and not children through the lens of an adult. No, this is one of. This is. This is a topic that I love because I don't think anybody's truly an expert in it. Even though some people say they are, right? And it's like kids, parents, and how we perceive their realities. And the reason I say nobody's really an expert is because people often talk about parenting. I mean, you know this better than anyone as a parent, Christiana. Like, everyone's like, this is a good parent. This is how you should parent. This is what you should parent, parent, parent, parent, parent. But I always think to myself, we don't often think about like, kid, like, kid up. Does that make sense? Being a kid is really weird because in your world you have a life, you have priorities, you have like your own, like, schedule even. And then there's this other human being who just happens to be bigger than you, who basically tells you that your shit is nothing. Have you, like, my favorite thing. Have you ever seen like a little small child doing something with like a box, right? Like just like a box, a cardboard box. And they're folding it, then they unfold it, then they squash it, then they unsquash it, and then they move it around, then they put things in it, then they take things out of it, then they drag it around the room. And then you come and you're like, yo, we gotta go. You know, we gotta go somewhere. And the kid is like, I'm working. Have you ever seen the kid's face? The kid always has a look like Yo, I'm in the middle. And it's funny how I always think to myself, it's funny how as adults, we think the kid's doing nothing. But I often think, what if we were in, like, the office typing up emails? Dear sirs and ma'ams, to whom it may concern, please revert asap. Imagine if while you were doing that, a giant came into your office and then, like, lifted you up from your chair and was just like, time to go. And you'd be like, ah. You're like, I gotta do mine. They're like, no, time to go. And that's how it must feel for them.

[Christiana]

Yeah, definitely.

[Trevor Noah]

Do you know what I mean?

[Christiana]

But it's time to go.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. You see? I see that you're a mom.

[Christiana]

It's time to go.

[Trevor Noah]

When do you think you became a mom? Like, became a mom mom?

[Christiana]

I was always someone's mother. I have three little sisters.

[Trevor Noah]

No, but there's, like, a different shift. I'm sure there is. Okay. Because I know you remember this.

[Christiana]

Yeah, yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

I knew you before you were a mom.

[Christiana]

Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

You've always been caring, responsible, all of that stuff. And I want to know when you became a mom.

[Christiana]

Oh, definitely. When I took Obie home from the hospital and I exclusively, exclusively breastfed, as you all know, because I always talk about breastfeeding. And then I was like, I'm this child's life source. I was like, his nutrition depends on me. And that was like, no one has ever depended on me to be fed. It was just so stressful. But I just remember just waking up, and I'm like, I need to feed him, because he liked to sleep. He's never been a big eater. And I was just like, I need to. I was thinking just more about nourishing his body than, like, his spirit. It was very primordial. I felt like a woman in a cave. You know what I mean?

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christiana]

And that. That was, like, the shift. And now my headspace is so much of my kids all the time.

[Trevor Noah]

I've never. You know what I never considered, though, in a difference between men and women yet you're, like, in a weird way, with a man. Obviously, your presence is still important. But I'm saying, to your point, you are actually the irreplaceable part of your child's.

[Mateo]

Yeah, yeah. Like, if I had a. Like a bad cheeseburger, it doesn't affect.

[Trevor Noah]

That's what I mean.

[Mateo]

You know what I mean? It's like, if you. If you start eating poorly, that affects your child.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Christiana]

You're surprised in a way.

[Mateo]

And it's like, yes. It's like, as a dad, as long as you could do crack, yes.

[Trevor Noah]

You can't do crack.

[Christiana]

No, I can't.

[Mateo]

As long as you blow the crack smoke out the window, the child may not even know they could have a fully.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. A fully normal.

[Mateo]

Cause how many people think that their dad is, like, normal? Do you know what I mean? Cause you think everything is normal because your frame of reference for everything is so small and it gets wider as you get older. But, like, my dad would get excited to do, like, a dad thing, like, a milestone thing. Cause I think sometimes as men, that's the only time that we're like, yes, I'm important right now.

[Trevor Noah]

Right?

[Christiana]

Yeah.

[Mateo]

Right now is when I'm dad. And, like, we need this moment. And so I went up to my dad, and my tooth was loose. And he hops up. He's, like, so excited. He hops up and he goes. And he leaves the room, runs out of the room, grabs some string, right? And then grabs some string and ties one side of the string to my tooth and ties one side of the string to my daughter. But he's not talking to me, so he's not. He's not escalating anything. He's like, be still. And then runs in the door and everything. And then he looks at me and he nods as if. If we've had a conversation. This man nods and be like, and it's time, right? And so then he nods, slams the door. But he didn't measure, so it's just too much string. So we just watched the door slam. And I was like. And I'm String hanging out of my mouth, and I'm like, was something supposed to happen? He was like, ah. Oof. Okay, let me. Oh. And then he went to the bathroom. Because then he knew he could surprise me now. Because now I know what.

[Trevor Noah]

Know what the thing was.

[Mateo]

I didn't know what the thing was supposed to be, but I put it together when he was like, oh. Oh, damn. So then he's like, I walked to the bathroom, and then he helped me get my tooth out. But I was just like, in my mind, my dad has a plan, and he knows what he's doing and that he does it. And then I don't. I don't. I just trust it. And then he slams the door, and I'm like, maybe he doesn't have plans. Like, maybe he doesn't.

[Trevor Noah]

That's one of the weirdest moments, I think, for a child, is when you for the first time think that your parent doesn't have their shit together, it's.

[Mateo]

The falling out of the boat.

[Christiana]

You figured that out as a child?

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, definitely.

[Christiana]

Oh, my God. That's very early.

[Trevor Noah]

That's. You did as well. No, because I think that means you didn't.

[Christiana]

No, I didn't. I saw my parents as people very late in my life. I think I really deified them. I was like, oh, they're so wonderful. They weren't perfect parents. Yeah, but they were always like mom and dad. And then as I came into adulthood, I was like, oh, they're people. And maybe therapy wouldn't be a bad thing.

[Trevor Noah]

Wait, so how old do you think you were when you first were like, oh, these are people who make mistakes and things.

[Christiana]

They just always had it together.

[Trevor Noah]

No, but I'm saying, how old do you think you were? Were you, like, in your teens? Were you in your.

[Christiana]

Oh, it was in my early 20s.

[Trevor Noah]

In your 20s?

[Christiana]

Yeah, my early 20s.

[Trevor Noah]

Let me tell you something. I remember the. Not even the first time. This is one of the many. I was driving with my mom. This wasn't her fault, by the way, but still, I was driving with my mom. And we're in the car. We're coming back from a church service late at night, and we're almost home, like 10 minutes from the house. But it's, like, been an hour drive. And I'll never forget. I can, like, close my eyes and imagine the road. You know, it's a long, dark road and there's one traffic light. So we're crossing over, Right? So normally you'd wait for oncoming traffic, but it's like midnight. There's. There's nothing. We see a car in the distance. We're approaching the intersection. We see a car in the distance. I'm looking out the passenger window of the car. I see the other car. It has its indicator on its blinker. So it's going to turn into the slip road. So it won't come to us. Essentially, it means it's going to go in the direction we're also going to go. Right. But I see that it's coming straight. My mom clearly is, like, looking at the blinker. I see it's coming straight. She's looking at the blinker. I see it's coming straight. And I'm sitting there in the passenger seat, and I was like, I think that car's coming straight for us. And I just sat there quietly and I was like, I don't think she sees it. And then I sat there, and then I literally just sat there, and I braced myself, and the car came straight, and we turned, and then it just wham. And took off. The whole front of our car. And, like, in an accident, you don't really know what's happened. Like, your car's spinning around, and, you know, it's a whole thing. And then we came to a stop, and she checks on me, and we're fine. Really. We were really lucky. And then when. When we were all, like, calm and everything, I said to my mom was like, oh, I saw that. And she's like, you saw what? I was like, I saw that car was going to hit us. And she said, why? She's like, why didn't you say anything? I was like, because you know how to drive. I don't know how to drive. And she's like, but you know how to see. She's like, don't you know how to see? I was like, yeah, I know how to see. She's like, you must say something. And I was like, okay. But that was, like, the final one. Cause this was now just in driving territory.

[Christiana]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

I had seen my mom forget things. I had seen my mom, like, so from. I would say from like, the age of maybe, like, five or six. I was like, okay, this is a human being who's in charge. But they don't always, like, have the. Like, they don't have the superpower thing. I even saw it with teachers.

[Christiana]

I remember once, I always thought teachers were idiots.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, okay. You thought teachers were idiots.

[Christiana]

Oh, yeah. Cause I thought I was like, I'm smarter. And that's probably. Probably why they didn't like me. But I was like, no, I'm. I'm, you know, more stuff just because you're older. But I was like, I have more brain power. I figured that out. I think my parents were just very competent. So they did disappoint me, obviously, but they were just very. They were very competent. But then, you know, when you look at your childhood in retrospect, you have those moments. You're like, oh, maybe that wasn't the best decision.

[Mateo]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

I was talking to Esther Perel about this the one day we're talking about, like, traumas and childhoods and, you know, the psychology. And it's really amazing how no matter how you raise your kid, there will always be the lack that was created. And as a kid, there will always be. So there are some people who are in therapy because their parents gave them too much freedom. They could do whatever they wanted. And so they Never felt protected, or they never felt like there was structure, or they never felt. But then there are some people in therapy because they're like, my parents. Like, they gave me a rigid schedule and I couldn't do what I wanted. And I had to be home at a certain time. And it made me wonder. I was like, is there a single kid out there who's just like, yeah, this is going well. And if your kid thinks it's going well, are you still a good parent?

[Mateo]

I don't know. I feel like it's so much like gambling. It's like you have the kid and you are taking a gamble that you can raise a good person. So I'm not a killer. Right? And then you're playing craps. So you just throw the dice down. And the dice are gonna bounce. And they're gonna bounce, they're gonna bounce. And you could call some of the bouncing trauma, but the bounce is also how you get your end numbers. And then when you look at the thing, that's when everybody's like, ah, good parent. Or like, ah, crap, crap.

[Christiana]

But sometimes I'm like, have you ever met some parents? Cause, you know, like, I think the kid is the kid. Like, you just. You. This thing arrives in your life. This is how I found. And they are the way they are born. This way. As Lady Gaga says, this blows my mind. I don't mean it.

[Trevor Noah]

Like, I hear every parent say, this.

[Christiana]

Is it the hardware?

[Mateo]

No, no, no.

[Trevor Noah]

The hardware. No, you're right. The hardware.

[Mateo]

Yeah, they just.

[Christiana]

And you're like, oh, you just. Like this. Like, I can try and pull you away from it. And this is good. And the bad, like their strengths and weaknesses. Yeah, there's just stuff encoded in you. And like, so you have that element of it. And there's some parents who like, actually do an amazing job, but the kid just turns out badly. And then there's people who don't do that much, and the kid turns out.

[Trevor Noah]

Turns out pretty amazing.

[Christiana]

Pretty well. And so I don't get. I think you can, like, love them, give them a good education, like, make sure there's no hunger. But then after that you just.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, but I'm saying. Okay, so this is fascinating. Cause you're a parent. We're speaking as former kids, which I.

[Christiana]

Think, actually, I think childhood is the most important experience. Like when I. I don't just take advice from parents.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Christiana]

Cause everyone has had the experience of being a child.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Christiana]

And I think that is valuable if I hate parents that are like, oh, I only care about. You can't tell me anything. You're not a mum. So I'm like, so you don't think someone having once being a child is valuable?

[Trevor Noah]

That's what I mean.

[Christiana]

Yeah.

[Mateo]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

So this is a different episode. Every now and again, I like to get up to some mischief in the world. Christiana always accuses me of doing something. And in this case, yes, I was doing something. I wrote a children's book. It's something I've always wanted to do. Cause I love children's books and I loved them and I still read them, by the way. I think they're like the best books. The other ones have too many words and too few pictures. I wrote a children's book and I thought, for this episode, let's talk about kids. But not just talk about them, let's talk to them. So I sat down with a group of kids who are experts at being children, by the way. I don't know if people know this. They are the real experts at being children. We're gonna continue this conversation right after this short break. This episode is brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. Travel is all about learning and experiencing things in a new, exciting way. But you could get even more from your travels. With the Chase Sapphire Reserve card, you can earn three times the points on travel purchases and receive a $300 travel credit. It also comes with plenty of other perks, too, like access to Sapphire's airport Lounge network. You can relax and refresh with locally inspired menus, a curated selection of drinks and more before getting on your flight. Make the most out of your next trip. Learn [e-mail] Sapphire Reserve cards issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank NA member FDIC subject to credit approval terms apply. This episode is brought to you by SurveyMonkey. The world is always changing and totally unpredictable, which is fun unless you're trying to run a business. So if you want to build a product people actually love, keep your customers happy and stop your team from setting their status to emotionally unavailable. Well, you've got to understand what people are really thinking. And to do that, you need to dare to ask the questions that really matter. Luckily, SurveyMonkey makes it super easy to ask the right questions that'll drive your business forward. In fact, SurveyMonkey answers 20 million questions every single day for over 300,000 organizations around the globe. Get answers to your Questions go to surveymonkey.com dare.

[Charlie]

Spanish when are we starting the podcast? Right now, when you say, hi, Daddy.

[Trevor Noah]

All right, you're coming in.

[Charlie]

I'm Squished I'm squished.

[Trevor Noah]

You're squished. I didn't even.

[Charlie]

No, actually, she's moving. Nola's moving.

[Trevor Noah]

Welcome to the podcast. Welcome Nola, Welcome Eden. Welcome Mateo. Welcome Juniper. Welcome Charlie, and welcome Cana. Let's. Let's start with. With you, Eden. How. How long have you been a child for?

[Charlie]

Seven years.

[Trevor Noah]

Seven years. Wow. That's like a real professional. How long do you plan to be, like, a child? Do you have, like, a long term goal? 100 years. I like that. I like that. So, like, so I started writing this kid's book. My first instinct was talk to, like, adults and talk to, you know, experts and more. Because, like, the book is really about, like, how a child sees their relationship with their parents and vice versa, and the internal monologues they have. Cause that's what I had as a kid, and I think every child does. But then I was like, no, I'm just gonna talk to kids. Like, I got a full panel of children to have conversations with. And can I tell you, these little things are pretty genius. They came in with some insights, they came in with some ideas. And Josh and Christiana, I know you got to watch us hanging out together, and I was shocked at how much, like, information we don't give children. Does this make sense?

[Christiana]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Like, you'll be shocked at how many kids are sort of just like, left in the dark about everything. So I talk to kids, I go, hey, do you know what your parents do for a living? And they're like, what does a living mean? Actually, let me. Let's talk about jobs. Let's talk about jobs. So I would love to know. Wait, wait, let's, let's. So let's go down the line. So, Charlie, do you know. Wow, what's happening here? Nola, she's being a cuckoo head.

[Charlie]

Yeah, she's being a cuckoo head.

[Trevor Noah]

No, you just get. Just got hot. And then you were like, all right, so wait, wait, Nola. So pay attention. I want to know about jobs. So we're gonna go down the line. So let's go. Nola, do you know. Do you know what parents do at jobs? Do you know what adults do?

[Charlie]

This.

[Trevor Noah]

What's this? What we're doing now?

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

So you think they, like, hang out on a couch.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

And then talk about life?

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Huh. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Eden, what do you think people do at a job?

[Charlie]

I'm just saying scientist. Because my mom is a scientist.

[Trevor Noah]

Like, what does she text?

[Charlie]

She's a science.

[Trevor Noah]

She teaches it. So she stands at the front of the classroom. Oh, so you guys know teachers. So you know what she does?

[Charlie]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay. Mateo, what do you think adults do at their jobs?

[Charlie]

I know my dad. You know those people that are on the computers at the airport?

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Charlie]

That's what my dad does.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, dope. He's one of those guys. Oh, I've seen those people at airports. You would see, like, the kids, like, for instance, if I say, like, what do your parents do for a living? The majority of them put their fingers up to their faces and then mimed typing, but, like, depressed typing. Okay, so let me ask you, what do you think adults do at work? Oh, well, what is that?

[Charlie]

Doing boring stuff and typing the jiggy coffee. Type it like. Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

None of them were, like, smiling and being like, oh, my. You know what I mean? It's just like, everyone had, like, a. Yeah. You know, it's like, you would think, like, their parents were, like, in a chicken coop for humans, pecking away at keys.

[Christiana]

Severance.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, it really was. It's like, that's what. And I was like, wow. Like, I don't know, like, Josh, like, when you were a kid, what did you think of your parents that you now, like, because we get to an age where it starts to sort of consolidate, like, this information.

[Mateo]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

What did you think of your parents? Like, you. Like, I've met your mom, but, like, what? Like, what did you think of your mom?

[Mateo]

I mean, I. It's tough because I. The things I thought about my mom when I was little, I still think about my mom in a. In a really sincere way. Like, I've. I see how she isn't always the most patient in life, but she's very patient with people. She's very loving and generous, and so. So then I look at my mom as this. When I was a kid, this infallible version of generosity and, like, understanding. And now, as an adult, I look at her as this very fallible version of generosity and understanding.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, my God.

[Mateo]

So it's like none of the. I feel like I saw my mom for who she was and all the qualities that she possesses, but I just didn't have the right interpretation of them because I didn't have enough world experience to understand what was happening. So, like, I remember there was somebody. My mom gave someone a ride one time or something like that, and all I could think in my head was like, why was this weird person in our car? Because you tell me not to talk to strangers, and then you pick the weirdest stranger off the street to give a ride somewhere. And still to this day, my mom is very like, be careful when you go here, watch your stuff, all the stuff like that. But then there'll be these moments that are just these like, I don't know, I guess moments of inspiration where that thing supersedes almost every lesson that I'm taught to a certain degree. You know, I don't think anyone will dispute that being a parent is a hard job. But it's weird that if something is a hard job, wouldn't it mean that like most people wouldn't be good at it?

[Christiana]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, interesting.

[Mateo]

But then we see the defensiveness of parents or people around parents or what my parenting or what you telling my child what that means about me, that you as a stranger reprimand my child. And so then we end up in this place that I think we've been in for a while, where your entire childhood is the extent of your parents awareness and experiences. And if no one else is allowed in because supposed to take a village, but the village isn't welcome. If all of a sudden the village is don't tell my child to literally when your child's wrong too. I've watched it in stores where a kid's tearing something up and somebody that works at the store is like, hey, hey, put that down. It's like, no, talk to me. Don't talk to my child. And it's like, well, you don't have the presence of mind to tell your child to stop Tara stuff, so why don't I just go to the source? And so I think that that is what's shaping all of my. I'm like almost recontextualizing a lot of what growing up was because I was from a family and I had a mom that would let another adult tell me what I was doing wrong. You know what I mean? Because my mom would, let's say there's some random lady and just some old woman at the mall and it's like, hey, don't run with your shoes untied, blah, blah. She would look at that woman and say, thank you. You know what I mean? As opposed to like, I got this. You know what I mean? And I think the I got this is like, it's a small thing, but I think it's messing a lot of people up.

[Christiana]

I think going from being like community driven, because I remember I had a big community growing up and I was actually thinking about it today, before I was coming here, like there used to be these grandmas in church that would look after me, Sister Barbara, Sister Kathy, Mummy Ige. Like they would. These women looked after me when I was a kid, me and my sisters. So I was surrounded by what, like, aunties and uncles who actually weren't genetically related to me, who could also, like, discipline me.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Christiana]

But felt they had a stake in my life. And my son has less of that for different reasons. Like, my husband's family's in New York. A lot of my family's in London. We live in la. But this isn't just specific to people who live apart from their families. Like, that village thing has diminished. Like, Josh, you talk about your aunt a lot. Do you know what I mean? It's like, that's rare with millennials raising kids. And because now it's just become the nuclear family. You, your spouse, or maybe you're a single parent, maybe a nanny. Like, it's very. Nanny's very privileged. Or it's the daycare worker. You become really defensive of your choices, because if your child fails, it's an indictment on you, on your little system. Whereas, like, I grew up in a culture where if a child was doing badly, it was a community shame. Do you know, it was like, everybody. Like, my dad's like. Like, you bear the name of Mbakwe when you leave. It wasn't just like. It was just like, you're part of a thing.

[Trevor Noah]

Like, the collective history.

[Christiana]

It was a church community. It was, you know, an ethnic community. But it was like. Yeah. And if there was a celebration, that's why weddings were so big. If someone's getting married, everyone shows up because, like, our child is getting married. But that doesn't exist in the same way. And I think a lot of that defensiveness comes from, like, but I'm the only one doing this thing.

[Mateo]

Yes, exactly.

[Christiana]

When my child misbehaves, I feel like I have failed. It doesn't feel like we have failed. And there's something to collective failure or collective success that kind of takes the pressure off, even if it's raising children.

[Mateo]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

I've been trying to figure this out, but I need your help for this. Trying to understand why grownups don't seem to understand kids. Okay, I need your. Like, what do you think it is? Okay, Nola. Yes.

[Charlie]

Because grown ups are boring and kids are fun.

[Trevor Noah]

So kids are fun and the grownups are boring. You think that's why they can't figure kids out?

[Charlie]

Yeah. If you want to get chocolate, just say no, and then. Boring.

[Trevor Noah]

That is boring. That you're right.

[Charlie]

Chocolate is fun.

[Trevor Noah]

Chocolate is fun. Keina like, what do you think? Or what do you wish adults understood more about the life of a child or a younger person?

[Kayna]

I feel like especially parents do a really good job. I feel like there's two types of adults. There's like parents and then people without kids. And in parents, I feel like sometimes they need to live their dreams through their kids so they don't live in the moment and they go see the future. So everything right now in your life has to be perfect. You can't be out late. You have to. There's so many rules to protect you for the future so they don't live in the moment. And I feel like adults without kids who hang out with kids are way more chill because I guess they're not your responsibility. But I wish adults in general could just take a breath and just be. Let kids go because what happens, happens. And like, they figured it out and they turned out fine. Well, I mean, some adults didn't turn out the best, but like, mostly adults like turned out fine. So I think they, I wish they could just understand to like, take a step back and like, let me be responsible for myself. Cause I have like all the key factors to do it.

[Trevor Noah]

So when I was sitting down with the kids for this episode, every child felt like they were being held back by their parents and their parents ability or inability to cater to their like, play needs or their. You know, what was illuminating for me was watching young people process the world through a very logical lens, by the way. Yeah, they were like, oh man, my parents, these people are tired. These people are like, they're tired. Like they always like thinking about the future and like they don't like chill and they don't hang out and they're not fun. And unanimously, kids were like, these people don't understand us. Just all the kids, all the kids were, all the kids felt taken care of. All the kids. Like none of the kids there was like, ah, I think my parent is like, you know, really terrible parent. They're not doing a good job of. But they all were like, man, this person doesn't understand me. But I wonder, like, when you were a kid, did you feel like your parent understood you? Did your parents get you or what was the thing that they got of you?

[Christiana]

That's a really interesting question. So the first thing I will say is that my dad is very, very intelligent, very astute man. And he would always debate with me. Oh yeah, we're like intellectual sparring partners. Like my mom is always like, stop, I can't take it anymore. Because we, like, go at it. But I would be. I always remember, like, and it would be my. Also my Uncle Moses is someone else. But I would speak to. Obviously they're men, but I was a child and I would. And they would go at it with me, like, and I was a real, like, contrarian and kind of polemicist, and they would just go at it with me. And I think my dad saw I had something and he valued what I had to say. Even though he always came in on the other side. I think he. So his whole thing, if I say it's black, he says it's white. And then we debate from there and he's still like, you're wrong. And then. But it's like. And in hindsight, that was a really valuable thing. I think especially. It was actually a radical thing. My dad has four daughters. But, like, in my culture, I think girl children are valued less. But like, he never saw me as less than. Because I was a girl. If I probably. The problem was he probably raised me like a man, and that's why I might this way. But it was just like he. That sparring meant I. When I went out into the world, I was like, I know my ideas have value, but, like, I just. I felt very misunderstood. But my mom told me a story recently. She said that. And my dad never told me this, but it's through the perspective of my dad. I play piano. I used to do exams, and I think I was like six years old, I had a piano exam, and my dad was watching me through a window, and he went home and told my mom. He was like, the girl puts too much pressure on herself. And he said he saw it and it scared him because he was like, she's only six. Why is this piano exam have so much stakes? Mind you, I think it had stakes because of how they were raising me, by the way. But like, she. He came home and he was like, I just saw something that. It kind of scared me because, like, you can't carry that intensity through. Like, did he correct it? No, he was just like, go be intense. But, you know, so in. Sometimes you hear stories in your adulthood that you're like, oh, you did see me. You did understand me. Yeah, but maybe, you know, in that time you don't have the language, you know, like, it was just like, oh, that's. That's who they are. And sometimes now I'm thinking, oh, it's not that they didn't understand me, it's just that they didn't have the tools and they were in a time. They were in a time that were like, how do we digest this trait of my child that is probably a little abnormal? Maybe we should get her some help. And that's actually just back to what you said, because I actually, as a mother, I know I'm not enough. And I've come to. I'm at peace with that. Like, I do not contain all the things that these children need, but I may be able to push them in towards the person who has it all.

[Mateo]

I mean, that's part of why I.

[Christiana]

Wouldn'T be a stay at home mother, because I know I'd be doing them a disservice from my. Where I stand.

[Trevor Noah]

You're compensating for the village, essentially.

[Christiana]

Yeah. And I'm like, I don't have enough. I can't.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Mateo]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

So that would be like the village elders.

[Christiana]

Yeah.

[Mateo]

Yes, exactly.

[Christiana]

And so now I'm like, so. And I think if more parents were like, I'm actually not enough. How do I connect with. Because Trevor, you give me parenting advice. Josh, you give me parenting. You guys don't have kids. But it's always like, remember the other day when you were like, oh, no, Obi needs to be driving.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I was like, oh.

[Christiana]

And I went back to Lewis. I was like, trevor says he should be driving. He was like, what?

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Christiana]

And then I spoke through your logic behind it and Lewis was like, oh, that's a good idea.

[Mateo]

You know what I mean?

[Christiana]

But it takes a humility to be like, actually my friend who has no kids has more insight into my kid in this area than I have because I'm so close to it.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Christiana]

And I think if more parents were able to just say, I'm not enough. What do you think, Josh? What do you think, Trevor? It'd be good for our kids, but we just don't do that now.

[Mateo]

It's also got to be very difficult. I know that I am not a parent, so I have not felt this, like, at least as what has been described to me as this like life altering experience of like having the kid and then the kid being a part of you and you seeing parts of yourself and the kid and everything. So I understand that when there's a little bit of a, whatever, whether you want to call it problem or deficiency within the child, whether it's a behavior thing or just like anything even in the body and stuff like that, I understand the denial that some parents even go into. But I think that, like, to what you're saying, it's like A really great example is a lot of the fighters that I follow basically got into trouble in school for fighting, but not fighting in a malicious way. They just want to fight, hey, let's fight. Like, I mean, and so, you know, they would get into trouble in this way that could have so easily been solved by the parent. Instead of being like, no, my son's not going to be a fighter. Like, you might say, you got a lot of extra energy and you clearly like wrestling with your friends. Yeah, why don't we, why don't we get you in wrestling? And now all of a sudden there's like, not only not a problem, it's like, this person does better.

[Trevor Noah]

So here's one thing I'll say to that, that I've realized, and I know this is. A lot of people will hear this and go, you can say that because you don't have kids and because. But I do believe my imagination allows me to think of what isn't. And therefore it could be. I don't think, and I know this is a, this is a very broad statement. I don't think there is anything that a child is doing that is wrong. It's just we have not created the space for it in their lives. Do you know what I mean? Like, anything. Like, to your point of, like, wrestling, Think of it, you go, a kid, your kid is like always, like fighting with other kids at school. And to your point, not malicious fighting, not. We're not talking about teenagers with, like, issues now. Take that child, put them in a fighting thing, and all of a sudden you've given them structure. Now they are a quote unquote fighter. And it's correct, they're doing the exact same thing. But now you have given them a. Do you know what I mean? Or like, when I was young, I used to like dismantling things which a parent I can understand goes like, my. This kid unscrewed the tv. It is terrible.

[Mateo]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Unless you put me in an electronics class.

[Christiana]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

And now I'm like, you know, assembling circuit boards and I'm working. All of a sudden you are. Your purpose is to assemble and dismantle. And now you're looking at parts and you're putting things together and you're experimenting. And I know it's a broad statement because I'm gonna be like, oh, well, what if they do this? I think most things genuinely most, most, most things can be catered to if you get to the root of what the child is trying to do. And that's what I mean by, you know, to borrow the phrase, like, you know, parents just don't understand. It's like, yeah, the kid is not. 9 times out of 10, kids are not trying to do a malicious thing to anyone in the family. They're not trying to dismantle your house. They just like, they're curious and they're trying to do some shit. Don't go anywhere because we got more what this episode is brought to you by Starbucks. No matter how you celebrate the holidays, there is one thing I think we can all share in the magic of Starbucks holiday beverages. Whether it's a Starbucks peppermint mocha, an iced sugar cookie almond milk latte, or the new Cranmerry orange refresher. Whatever festive flavor you choose, Starbucks is here to make every moment special this holiday season. For me, it's as if every sip of Starbucks is a small, magical escape. There's nothing like sharing a moment of joy with my friends and family over Starbucks. So go on, feel the magic. Order your favorite holiday beverage on the Starbucks app today. This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen. So as you start getting ready for friends and family visiting, maybe you should be thinking about giving your guest room a little upgrade. Personally, I've been using Brooklinen for a while now, and I'll tell you, these sheets are made to be lived in. They're soft, durable.

[Charlie]

Ooh.

[Trevor Noah]

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[Charlie]

Can I sit down though?

[Christiana]

Like on the floor?

[Trevor Noah]

You wanna? Yeah, sit on the floor. It's gonna make you comfortable. Sit on the floor. You can sit on the floor. You can sit anywhere.

[Charlie]

No, no, right? Life has been ruined.

[Trevor Noah]

No, I mean, this is. This is what happens in society, mate. You do. You do something. You do something crazy and then like things. Okay? Okay, but then we can't see you.

[Charlie]

You can't see me?

[Trevor Noah]

No, I mean, but the people can't see you. So now you, like, just gone. I guess if you sort of like, okay, we'll. We'll imagine you when they were asked.

[Christiana]

About, how do you. If you could change one thing about the world.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Christiana]

What would you do? I. I don't know. I expect them to be like, more popcorn. Or like, you can have dessert for breakfast. And then they had very adult responses.

[Trevor Noah]

So I have, like, a really important question to ask all of you. And this is about the world. If you could change anything about the world, what would you change? So, Kayna, what would you change?

[Kayna]

World hunger.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Kayna]

Because I feel like that's their biggest problem. Obviously, there's war and. But, like, I feel like everyone needs a good meal, and then they'll be happy because if everyone's hangry, then, like, nothing's gonna work.

[Trevor Noah]

You know, you say that, and it's probably true. You find a lot of wars are fought because people are hangry. And, like, I don't know about you, but if I don't eat, I could start a war. So end world hunger. Okay. Charlie, what would you change about the world?

[Charlie]

I think I would, like, change. Make it so that everyone's full, but also, like, some people don't have a home, and we wouldn't necessarily give them a home, but just, like, a place to stay where they would be safe from. I don't know.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, I love this. Okay, okay. So end world hunger and then give everyone a place to stay. Juniper, what would you do?

[Charlie]

I think that, like, you know, in, like, Monopoly or, like, life or something, you know how, like, you start with enough money to survive.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Charlie]

I think that everybody should be able to, like, at least they can choose how they spend their money. They can choose how it is. But there's so many people who, like, work super hard and they don't. Like. They just don't. It's, like, hard. It's too hard. So I think that everybody should at least start with enough money to live that way, and they can choose how they want to earn their money. Like, but at least they should be able to have money. Like, I know I'm just talking a lot about money, but I feel like that's how the world is based off of right now.

[Trevor Noah]

It is. It is. You're not wrong. So, like, in life, we should give everyone a little money so they can start playing the game, and it gives them a chance.

[Charlie]

Life is a game. And there's no way to win it, but you can survive in it.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, damn, that's deep. Wow. Not damn. River. That's deep. Wow. River. That's deep. I'm so glad you brought that up, because I was proud. Even though I didn't know these kids that way. I was proud of what they were saying. But I was sad. I was really, really sad because I was. I was hoping for just crazy, you know? I mean, I was hoping for, you know, what could you do? And we did get, like, one, like, later on, like, after. But it's almost like we had to solve the world's problems, and then we could get to, all right, the world is made of candy, and let's have free cheese. And then last but definitely not least, what would you change about the world?

[Charlie]

Cheese.

[Trevor Noah]

More cheese.

[Charlie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Trevor Noah]

What kind of cheese? Hard cheese? Soft cheese.

[Charlie]

Soft cheese. Cheddar cheese? Cheddar.

[Trevor Noah]

Just more cheese.

[Charlie]

Cheddar cheese.

[Trevor Noah]

But what would you do with the extra cheese? Eat it. All of it?

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Do you think that there's not enough cheese in the world?

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Huh. You know, when Nola was like, I ate free cheese, but it's only because I said to Nola, you can't repeat anything. But I was just like. Do we pause and think to ourselves what it says about our society that children, like, we're talking about, like, you know, six years old to, like, eight, nine years old, and all these their number. When you say, what would you change about the world? They say, oh, man, I think I would give people a place to live. Cause too many people sleep on the street. And I would give people food because they're hungry. And I would give people. And I'm like, wow, you are. You are not spared. You know, you're not living in, like, a. Just, like a child's world, if that makes sense. Yeah.

[Mateo]

And it's also. I don't know. I don't know how this will sound out loud, but, like, a firm belief I've always had is that there are no such things as grownups. It's just that, like, kids get more responsibilities and, like, have a harsher. I can actually buy into that idea. And I think that only a kid would be like, why are we even doing this thing?

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Mateo]

And sometimes we look at that, and just, like, with the jobs thing and the money thing, you can be like, oh, they just don't get it. But every once in a while, it's a very good question. And it's a question that, like, sometimes finally ends up in, like, the halls of Congress, guys, why are we even doing this thing? And so it's like, people put so much innocence on being a child. But I think there's a real amount of perspective you get from not being glued down yet.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, definitely.

[Mateo]

You're just not. You're not. You're almost like. I mean, I told you.

[Trevor Noah]

Honest perspective.

[Mateo]

Yeah, I told you, like, even. Even into my late teens, I think that was when I had my most, like, maybe even my most astute perspectives. Even without having been well read or anything yet, I was just like, oh, but this doesn't, like, make sense. You now have this thing of like, I'm going to stay imagining and I'm also going to stay a little bit freer. I think that that's like, that's kind of what I saw in some of those kids with their answers being, like, very worldly and astute, that I'm like, oh, if you could stay in a way. If you could stay the way that you are now, then I know we always put on the next generation. But it's like, that's actually the sort of, like, mindset and attitudes that change the world. Cause eventually you get so, like, bogged down and like, stuck in the mud in a way that now somebody brings up, okay, let's open up this housing in la. And you're like, ah, I just got this house.

[Christiana]

Josh, you sound like me. I've joined, like a neighborhood watch group on WhatsApp.

[Charlie]

Wow.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, Christiana. Oh, no.

[Christiana]

On WhatsApp.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, no.

[Christiana]

Oh, yeah. That's what life comes at you fast. You become a nimby.

[Trevor Noah]

And now it's time for a new segment. Creativity Over Coffee. Brought to you by Starbucks. Christiana, you probably drink more coffee than anybody I know you love coffee.

[Christiana]

I couldn't live without it. Honestly, as a mother.

[Trevor Noah]

It's funny. I like coffee for the communal side. It's like the standing around, you know, thinking of ideas, chatting together. He's just like, yeah, what are some of the ideas for the show? Like, I mean, look, on the show, the idea of having kids on, I mean, should have terrified us, by the way, because you know better than anyone, like, six kids sitting together on a couch is a terrible idea. But it was actually great, like a fun idea. Chatting to kids, learning about their points of view. And I don't know, I think ideas like that you can only come up with when you're sort of in like a flow state. Do you know what I mean?

[Christiana]

Coffee puts me in the flow.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, really?

[Christiana]

Yeah. I start My day with cold brew. I love cold brew. Black and strong, just like me.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, I love that. I absolutely love that.

[Christiana]

You know, that's how I met my husband.

[Trevor Noah]

No ways.

[Christiana]

Yes. I'm not even joking. He DMed me on Twitter and was like, oh, I see you're in la, too. We should meet for coffee. And I was like, what's this weird guy wanting to ask me out for coffee, but I'll do it because it was coffee. And he seemed interesting. And here we are.

[Trevor Noah]

He brought you in with.

[Christiana]

Now I have his children. I'm not even joking.

[Trevor Noah]

Well, that's the end of our coffee break, but hopefully you're inspired, you know, to connect and come up with some creative ideas or a marriage. It's a great day for coffee. It's a great day for Starbucks.

[Charlie]

That wasn't how it was, like, in the 1700s.

[Trevor Noah]

It wasn't like that I was there, and it wasn't like that you were there. I wasn't there. I am old.

[Charlie]

Wait, everybody. Is this true? Is this true?

[Trevor Noah]

It is true.

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

I was there in the 1700s.

[Charlie]

Yeah. My dad was there, but a lot.

[Trevor Noah]

Of us were there.

[Mateo]

I don't know if this is as much of an African thing as it is a Southern thing. So I just wanted to.

[Trevor Noah]

Which, by the way, is the same thing.

[Mateo]

It is very much the same thing. It's so close.

[Trevor Noah]

Can I tell you. Sorry to cut you off.

[Mateo]

No, you're good.

[Trevor Noah]

That's one of my favorite things, is how much when I meet people from the South, I feel like we had the exact same childhood. And, I mean, we don't want to go to the dark reason why.

[Mateo]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Trevor Noah]

So we're not going to go there. But, like, literally, when you talk about your mom, I'm like, ah, that's my mom. When you talk about your parents, I'm like, yeah, that's my parents. Like, yeah, but carry on.

[Mateo]

Well, basically, there's a thing that a lot of Southern people have that I wonder, you know, who the person is for y'all, because I've been told by a lot of people I have a grandfather I never met. Right. Passed away before I was born. And so it's not as if I could have been nurtured by him or grown up around him, but so many people in my life have told me I remind them of him, and it's almost like his spirit a little bit.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, we completely have that.

[Mateo]

And I'm wondering who you get told is, like, your spirit person.

[Christiana]

So my parents are hyper Christian Okay. So they've moved away from the reading, which is a big thing in, like, Igbo culture, like, you know, and Yoruba culture, there's, like, names that signify. Like, the name. One of my closest friends, her name is Yoande, which means the mother has returned and is normally a name you give to somebody when they died. A grandmother died, and then the child that was born is a girl, you know, so there's names. Like, I think Iyabo is the other name that's like that. So I do. Like, the law of the culture is that people believe in reincarnation, but my parents never said that about me. However, Obi is so much like my father. There's things he does that scares me. Like, the other day, he was walking through the supermarket, and he had his hands behind his back doing the old man walk. And I was like. I was like, oh, my God. It scared the shit out of me. And I had to take a picture. I was like, what? And then there's a way he sits sometimes, and the way he places his hand. And, like. Like, of course he's around my dad. They speak on FaceTime all the time, but, like, the actual. Yeah, mannerisms. Mannerisms. And I was like, oh, I gave birth to my father. Yeah.

[Mateo]

Especially if there's something you couldn't have taught.

[Christiana]

Couldn't have. Couldn't have. Like, there's no. But he just was, like, walking around, and he was looking around, like, in the way that my dad does and looking down, and I. I took a picture, and I. Like, my dad was like. He said something in Igbo, blood is Obara. Yeah. And he was just. We're just talking about, like, the power of blood in that way, because. So I just say my son very much. I look at him and I see my father, but myself, I don't have. I don't know.

[Trevor Noah]

No, I had that. So I was always told, like, people would say that to me about my grandfather. They would say, like. They'd literally say, you guys do the same thing. And, you know, and you, like, walk in a room. And this terrified me because we found out my grandfather was bipolar at the end of his life. So now I was like, you don't understand how many, like, psychologists I've seen where I'm like, are you sure? Are you sure? Sure? They're like, no, you're not. I was like, all right, we're gonna keep checking. But. But, yeah, I had that. Where people would say, it's the same. They go like, you. You just seem Like a flash from the past. They go, wow, you know, you like the walk. And I didn't spend a lot of time with him, but they go, the walk is like his. And, you know, the way you love telling people jokes and the way you get. You love causing chaos in a conversation and all, they're like, it's like we're watching it happen again. And what mesmerized people was the fact that we didn't spend time together. Like, I spent all my time with my grandmother. Her and I are completely different. You know, we were like, completely different people, vibes, everything. It's just, you know, I have a lot of personality traits from my dad, which my mom has told me about. And ironically, again, I spent very little time with him. And these are like, personality things that adults would have with each other. It's not like a child would pick up from a parent.

[Christiana]

Yeah, yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Mom's just like, oh, man, that's your dad. You know, so it is. It is fascinating to see that and to see like a, you know, a pass down slash a. You know.

[Mateo]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Which I like. I don't know. So before we. Before we go. So before we go, there's two important things that I really need your help figuring out. What do you think adults struggle with understanding about kids? Like, what do you wish they understood? Okay. Yes, Juniper.

[Charlie]

Okay, so I think that, like, adults sometimes don't understand, like, kids feelings and, like, the way that, like, popularity at school and like, when, like, something happened, like, my mom was just like, re. And I was like, no. And like, in other things, too, like, I found out that I didn't get into something that I really, like, worked for. And then they were like, go read a book. And I was like, it's kind of like, more than that. Oh, but, like, parents are also can be very understanding. But other times, like, even as early as, like, the next morning, you can, like, go to sleep, and then the next morning it feels like they don't understand you at all.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, so if I'm hearing what you're saying, you would love to live in a world where parents spend a little more time trying to understand what their kids are going through.

[Charlie]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

Because maybe for them, they make it seem like it's a small thing and they, like, they sort of get over it quickly, but then kids might still be dealing with it.

[Charlie]

Exactly.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. I think that was. That was probably my favorite thing about hanging out with these kids was it made me. It made me realize that kids are a lot more perceptive than we think. And if we use that as a resource genuinely. I don't even mean this in like a meh meh world. You could, like, build a better world. Like, even as a parent, kids can tell you things about yourself that you need to work on. It's amazing how they will. In the same way, funny enough, animal trainer, like dog trainers will tell you there's no such thing as a bad dog. There's only a bad owner. I think kids tell you who you are whether you like it or not. They'll just tell you. I wonder how many parents ask their kids, hey, what do you think I could work on? What do you think I could spend a little more time? Where do you see my failings? Like, where do you. You know, because you're a parent, right? Your job is to raise this child, and yet you never ask the child who you are raising, how they think you're doing. Which to me sounds like a crazy.

[Christiana]

We should bring end of year reviews. We should, like, end of year, just be like, to your kids, so what did I do well this year?

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. What do you think I do well?

[Mateo]

Yeah.

[Christiana]

What didn't you like about me? It's hard. I don't even want to know what my kids would say, but.

[Trevor Noah]

And I think they would surprise you.

[Mateo]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

I think you'd be surprised at how lenient children are in a way that parents aren't. Yes. I think parents take for granted that kids see in them things that they don't even see in themselves. And kids see in the world things that we don't see in the world.

[Mateo]

And if you ask them when they're still like, all up under you, like, I know until I was like, maybe 10, I was like, all up under. My mom wanted to be with my mom. All right. It's like, you ask a question like that, there's no agenda behind it. It's literally like, I wanted the best for my mom. But the way that a child wants what's best for you in such earnest.

[Trevor Noah]

Is like, that's very true.

[Mateo]

It's like earth shattering, like, shaking to your soul. Just even kids that aren't my kids, but my friend's kids will be like, how have you been? And like, I've missed you so much. And like, the way a child says they miss you is like, what?

[Christiana]

Yeah.

[Mateo]

You were thinking about.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Mateo]

You don't even know what week it is.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Mateo]

Like, this is just the summer. And you're like, I've missed you so much.

[Trevor Noah]

It's like, it's like if we gave them a Chance, like, genuinely, I would encourage everyone who's a parent, just try it. Just, like, try it. Just go sit with your kid and be like, hey, how do you think we could improve this household? And how. And don't get me wrong, one of their suggestions is going to be more ice cream. Of course. There's always going to be ice cream.

[Mateo]

Yeah. So I think asking questions like that is like, yeah, that could be world changing.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, we should do it. Well, this was fun. This is fun. Let's go make kids.

[Mateo]

Josh, I'm good, because this is the thing.

[Trevor Noah]

No, no, no, let's go do it. We're gonna go make kids. We're gonna go make kids and we're gonna have a lot of fun. Cause it seems easy to me. Seems easy. Raising them. Seems easy. Understanding them.

[Mateo]

I didn't say any of this.

[Trevor Noah]

We're gonna do it.

[Christiana]

I think we need the wives first.

[Trevor Noah]

We're gonna do it.

[Mateo]

People listening.

[Trevor Noah]

I didn't say we're gonna do it. You heard it here first. Josh and Trevor gonna go out and make some kids.

[Mateo]

I don't know why you put my.

[Trevor Noah]

Name first and raise them.

[Charlie]

This is my blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No offense.

[Trevor Noah]

All right, well, thank you so much. Kayna, thank you for coming. Nola, thank you for coming. Charlie, thank you for coming. Juniper, thank you for coming. Mateo, thank you for coming. Eden, thank you so much for coming. I will make sure to tell the adults everything you've said and let's try to change the world. Thank you, everybody. Nice job, everyone. What now with Trevor Noah is produced by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin and Jody Avagan. Our senior producer is Jess Hackl. Claire Slaughter is our producer. Music, mixing and mastering by Hannes Brown. Special thanks to all of kid experts and their parents for helping to make this episode such a fun one. My new book, into the Uncut Grass is available now wherever you get your books and audiobooks. Thank you so much for listening. Join us next Thursday for another episode of what Now.