If I Ruled the World: The One Where Everyone Tries Crack [VIDEO]

Summary

Episode Summary: "If I Ruled the World: The One Where Everyone Tries Crack"

Podcast: What Now? with Trevor Noah
Host: Trevor Noah
Guests: Josh Johnson, Christiana
Release Date: January 16, 2025
Description: In this provocative episode, Trevor Noah, along with guests Josh Johnson and Christiana, engages in a candid discussion exploring radical ideas on how to reshape the world. From mandatory psychedelic experiences to assigning each person a partner, the trio navigates through controversial topics with humor, depth, and honest reactions.

---

Introduction: Setting the Tone

The episode opens with Trevor Noah making a bold and humorous statement, challenging conventional norms to immediately grab the audience's attention.

Trevor Noah: "I believe everyone should try crack before they die. But like, in a perfect world, you would know right before you die." [00:00]

This light-hearted yet edgy introduction sets the stage for a series of imaginative proposals about world governance and societal change.

---

Josh's Proposal: Mandatory Psychedelic Experiences

Timestamp: [03:36] – [06:10]

Josh Johnson introduces his idea with enthusiasm, suggesting that psychedelics could play a transformative role in personal and societal development.

Josh Johnson: "If I ruled the world, every citizen of the world after the age of about 22, potentially 25, would have to, at some point in the rest of their life, have at least one psychedelic experience." [03:38]

He argues that the age range of 22 to 55 is ideal for such experiences, emphasizing that psychedelics can help individuals unlock their potential and foster self-awareness.

---

Debate on Implementation and Risks

Timestamp: [05:02] – [10:08]

Trevor Noah expresses concerns about Josh's proposal, highlighting the potential for negative experiences and the importance of proper guidance.

Trevor Noah: "I do think not everyone should have to take them. And I think some people might take them and have, like, a really bad trip." [05:02]

Christiana adds skepticism, pointing out that Josh hasn't personally experienced psychedelics, which raises questions about the feasibility and safety of mandating such experiences.

Christiana: "So you've never done psychedelics?" [07:25]

Josh counters by emphasizing the importance of structured, guided experiences to mitigate risks, drawing parallels to traditional ayahuasca ceremonies where elders provide support.

Josh Johnson: "There would definitely be a sort of psyche vow to make sure a person could handle it and everything." [05:52]

Despite agreeing on the potential benefits, the trio acknowledges the complexities involved in implementing such a policy responsibly.

---

Christiana's Proposal: Assigned Partners

Timestamp: [17:38] – [22:19]

Christiana shifts the conversation by proposing a system where everyone is assigned a partner based on their preferences, aimed at eliminating loneliness and ensuring companionship.

Christiana: "If I ruled the world, everyone would get an assigned partner and whatever you'd want that partner to be." [17:38]

She envisions a world where whether someone desires a romantic partner, a platonic friend, or a companion, they are matched accordingly. This system is designed to cater to individual needs while fostering meaningful connections.

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Challenges and Criticisms of Assigned Partners

Timestamp: [22:19] – [28:04]

Trevor Noah raises significant concerns about the practicality and emotional implications of Christiana's proposal. Questions about compatibility, cultural differences, and the enforcement of assigned relationships emerge.

Trevor Noah: "What if I kill my person? [...] Imagine meeting your assigned sacred partner. You fall for them. You're like, wow, this is the best person for me. And then the other countries, like, you can't come in because you don't have a visa." [22:25]

Christiana defends her idea by suggesting that technological solutions, such as biometric devices, could ensure compliance and proper matching based on detailed algorithms and human wisdom.

Christiana: "We would have the person that has the same value system as them." [22:03]

However, the conversation reveals underlying issues about autonomy, consent, and the potential for dystopian outcomes if such a system is mismanaged or abused.

---

Trevor's Proposal: Direct Democracy Without Politicians

Timestamp: [28:04] – [35:18]

Shifting gears, Trevor Noah proposes abolishing traditional political structures in favor of a direct democracy facilitated by secure digital devices. In his vision, citizens would vote directly on policies and decisions, eliminating the need for elected representatives.

Trevor Noah: "If I ruled the world, we have no more politicians. [...] the rules are now made by the people, for the people." [28:04]

He argues that this system would reduce corruption, inefficiency, and the influence of special interest groups, empowering individuals to have a direct say in governance.

---

Addressing Practical Concerns

Timestamp: [35:18] – [43:07]

Christiana and Josh question the feasibility of Trevor's proposal, bringing up issues such as the interpretation of votes, minority rights, and the potential for decision fatigue among citizens.

Christiana: "Is there still religious institutions? [...] Because my worry is that humans are, like, inherently hierarchical, and now we don't have politicians." [36:26]

Josh adds that while the idea is promising, the practical implementation would require robust safeguards to ensure clarity in voting and prevent the marginalization of minority groups.

Josh Johnson: "How do we fix that in your system?" [46:48]

Trevor responds by suggesting the use of AI to clarify and rephrase ballot measures, ensuring that citizens fully understand the implications of their votes.

Trevor Noah: "It can say to you, as, Josh, do you think that a woman should be allowed to make choices over her body medically?" [35:18]

Despite these solutions, the conversation highlights the intricate balance between technological facilitation and human factors in governance.

---

Final Voting and Conclusions

Timestamp: [43:07] – [53:12]

The trio engages in a mock voting process to decide on each other's proposals. Christiana and Trevor ultimately vote "no" on each other's ideas, citing concerns over autonomy, practicality, and potential dystopian outcomes. Josh, however, shows partial support for Trevor's direct democracy with amendments, indicating openness to refining his approach.

Christiana: "I'm going to vote no, but not for the reasons that Trevor thinks." [51:02]

Josh Johnson: "I'm going to vote yes." [26:27]

Trevor humorously concludes the debate by envisioning a movie based on their conversation, emphasizing the tension between idealistic governance and real-world complexities.

Trevor Noah: "I would make a movie about somebody escaping this world. [...] I'd call the movie Unassigned. That's what it would be." [28:13]

The episode wraps up with reflections on the challenges of implementing radical changes and the importance of considering diverse perspectives in envisioning a better world.

---

Notable Quotes

• Trevor Noah: "I believe everyone should try crack before they die. But like, in a perfect world, you would know right before you die." [00:00]

• Josh Johnson: "And I think that afterwards it's probably one of the things you can even save it until you're old." [04:27]

• Christiana: "If I ruled the world, everyone would get an assigned partner and whatever you'd want that partner to be." [17:38]

• Trevor Noah: "If I ruled the world, we have no more politicians." [28:04]

• Christiana: "I think we should outsource that to some sort of government body." [19:56]

• Josh Johnson: "I've not seen any negative repercussions in like a major way." [11:56]

• Trevor Noah: "I think it should be completely easy because it is the will of the people." [45:38]

• Christiana: "I'm going to say no because I think we should not compel anyone to do things with their bodies." [15:18]

• Trevor Noah: "People are tired of engaging in boring things." [52:36]

---

Conclusion

This episode of What Now? with Trevor Noah delves into unconventional ideas about societal transformation, balancing humor with serious discourse. Josh Johnson's proposal for mandatory psychedelic experiences and Christiana's concept of assigned partners ignite debates about personal autonomy, cultural implications, and the potential for unintended consequences. Trevor Noah's vision of a direct democracy without politicians offers a critique of existing political systems while highlighting the complexities of implementing such changes. Despite differing viewpoints and unresolved tensions, the conversation underscores the importance of imaginative thinking in addressing contemporary issues and the challenges inherent in translating idealistic ideas into practical solutions.

---

Transcript

[Trevor Noah]

I believe everyone should try crack before they die. But like, in a perfect world, you would know right before you die. I would. I would do it in hospice. Guys, if you're going out, go out with a bang. It's not crack and pop bang.

[Josh Johnson]

No, I don't think crack is the best hospice drug.

[Trevor Noah]

What would you choose? Heroin.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Christiana]

Yeah, but they give you that anyway.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, they give you. That's what I'm saying. Yo, let me ask you something.

[Christiana]

I'd want to do hoc.

[Trevor Noah]

Have you seen somebody do crack and then like not be like more mobile than they were?

[Christiana]

Crackheads keep jobs.

[Trevor Noah]

That's what I'm saying.

[Christiana]

Fentanyl kills.

[Trevor Noah]

So I'm saying hospice should have crack.

[Josh Johnson]

But these people are going to be working.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Hospice will just have like a different swag to it. This one is like an end stage thing.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

I'm not saying crack for the people.

[Josh Johnson]

Got you.

[Trevor Noah]

I'm saying crack.

[Josh Johnson]

You're saying crack for the people.

[Trevor Noah]

No, I'm saying crack when it's done. Crack when it's done. Like, you know when an airplane is going down and the masks come from the ceiling, it could be a little crack as well. That's what should be in the mask. Crack pipe. Yeah, that's what should be in the mask. Plane's going down, crack pipe comes down from the top. And then it's like. And then you're like, man, it's not so bad. They'll hold the plane up themselves. This is what now with Trevor Noah. This episode is brought to you by Yamavar Resort and Casino. I travel a lot and I spend a lot of time in both Las Vegas and California. So it's awesome to know that if I play at Yamavaya Resort and Casino in California, I get rewards to the iconic Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas. Between the two properties, they have one of the most stacked entertainment lineups in the country. Over 8,500 slot machines, award winning dining, some of the best views in the country from the Ghost Bar and Y Lounge, and so much more. And for a limited time, I'm giving my listeners a chance to win three nights of hotel accommodation at the Palms in Las Vegas or Yamavar Resort and Casino in California. The choice is yours. Both were voted best casinos in the country by USA Today. So no matter what you choose, it will be a winning experience. Go to y a a m a v a.com Trevor to win. This episode is brought to you by Atlassian Atlassian Team collaboration Software like Jira, Confluence and Loom help power collaboration for enterprise companies around the globe with products that enable AI powered teamwork. Doing the impossible just became possible. So join the 83% of the Fortune 500 that trust Atlassian to help transform their enterprise. Learn how to unleash the potential of your [e-mail] so welcome to it. It's an episode of if I Ruled the World where myself, Josh and Christiana think about ways that we would change the world if we had all the power. As is usual, each of us suggests our idea. Everyone votes on it, we'll have the other two votes on it. And if you get a majority or if you get two people, then your vote is passed. So, Josh, Christiana, do you want to.

[Christiana]

Start off to you, John?

[Trevor Noah]

Christiana, you're the only person, I think who's had one past.

[Christiana]

I know. And I want to be the one that has it again. Now I'm my competitive.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. I feel like that's why she offered for me to go first, because it's like she knows mine will be bad.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, Josh, you go first.

[Josh Johnson]

I think that if I ruled the world, everyone, every citizen of the world after the age of about 22, potentially 25, would have to, at some point in the rest of their life, have at least one psychedelic experience. Wow.

[Trevor Noah]

Have to.

[Josh Johnson]

You have to. And you don't have to do it at 22. I say 22 because between 22 and 25 are the years where the brain of a human really. You're right.

[Trevor Noah]

So you're waiting for the brain to settle.

[Christiana]

The front has to be in.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. Because I'm. I'm not trying to offset where anyone was gonna go without this.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

And I want everybody to be able to be themselves. But then I think that afterwards it's probably one of the things you can even save it until you're. Until you're old. And if you die.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, but that's what I was gonna ask. What if people die before?

[Josh Johnson]

I mean, they could die before they're 22.

[Trevor Noah]

So what I'm saying is this is what I'm trying to say. You've implemented the system because everyone has to. Yeah, but there's no time limit on it.

[Josh Johnson]

I would say the time limit on it is like probably 55.

[Trevor Noah]

55. So before 55 you have to have a psychedelic experience.

[Josh Johnson]

Yes, because I think that if, if it has a life altering effect on you at 55, there's still time to change your life around. And if you do it too late, I Think it just reshapes how you feel about life you've already lived.

[Trevor Noah]

Huh? Okay, I'm a little torn on this one. I think psychedelics can change the world in a positive way. I also do think not everyone should have to take them. And I think some people might take them and have, like, a really bad trip. And, like, I don't know if you've read these people's posts on, like, ayahuasca, which I know is not exactly the same thing. People go and do, like, ayahuasca at one of these gimmicky retreats somewhere in the world, and then they come back and they leave their family and they, like, quit everything and then they go off. I don't know if everyone. Would you give people psych evaluations beforehand?

[Christiana]

Would there be a guide?

[Trevor Noah]

Would there be a guide?

[Josh Johnson]

A perfect example, right. Is that apparently we have a misunderstanding personally and we've made a tourism out of ayahuasca.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes, we have.

[Josh Johnson]

The tradition of ayahuasca was that the actual doctor, like the elder, would take the ayahuasca and converse with you and talk with you. We've made it so that we want to take the ayahuasca. So I would. I would say that there would definitely be, like, a sort of psyche vow to make sure a person could handle it and everything.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay. Okay, I'm with you a little bit more.

[Josh Johnson]

But I do think that the between the years of, like, 22 and 55 are where you are at your most. Your most potential for being, like, stuck. I don't want to disparage people's choices, but I think that some people who do fall off the grid after a psychedelic experience maybe really are, like, loosening themselves. Maybe that's not the crazy that we think it is.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, I'm willing to accept that.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

I mean, because we don't know who their families are.

[Josh Johnson]

We don't know who their families are. And we even have what their job was like, what you would even call traditions of, like, you look at the Buddha and the Buddha left everything to go find enlightenment. But he. But he had responsibilities. He had a wife and he had children and everything.

[Christiana]

Oh, so he was. I didn't know. He was a deadbeat a little bit. Wow.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Christiana]

Didn't know that by him.

[Trevor Noah]

Pretty sure.

[Josh Johnson]

Pretty sure he came back, but didn't come back to raise them. Just.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, he just came back to tell them that, like, oh, that's a bad person. The idea of him leaving isn't a real. He was like, why are you crying? I was never here.

[Christiana]

So he made someone a single mom.

[Trevor Noah]

But he was like, you were always single. You came in single.

[Christiana]

People have made him a God.

[Trevor Noah]

He's like, you came into this world. He's not a God. He's like, it's an idea.

[Christiana]

He's like a prophet.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, but he's just like, yeah, man.

[Christiana]

At least Jesus didn't have any kids. I'm not like, saying you should be a Christian. But he had no kids.

[Trevor Noah]

He was going to, but then Pontius Pilate happened and, yeah, the rest is history. So wait, Josh, you. You're saying this. Are you saying this firsthand or you're saying this as, like, just an idea?

[Josh Johnson]

No, as. As an idea.

[Christiana]

So you've never done psychedelics?

[Josh Johnson]

No, no, I haven't done psychedelics.

[Trevor Noah]

Wait, wait. So you don't know what could happen to you?

[Josh Johnson]

Wait, no.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

It's different.

[Trevor Noah]

I would love to do it with you.

[Josh Johnson]

No, no.

[Trevor Noah]

I don't put anybody on shrooms. Why would you say this about me?

[Christiana]

You're like the shroom pusher. No, I'm not.

[Trevor Noah]

No, no, no, no.

[Christiana]

I'm the open minded, high, highbrow drug dealer.

[Trevor Noah]

I mean, I'm an. I think everyone should be open to, like, electric cars. I was one of the first ones saying to people, yo, guys, let's do electric car. And then if people don't want it, I was like, I don't mind you not doing it, but let's be open to the idea of it. We should all be open to more ideas that make the world a better place.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, I agree with that.

[Trevor Noah]

I would never push anything on Josh.

[Christiana]

You've never done it, but you want everyone, including yourself, to do it.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, it'll be easier for me to do it.

[Christiana]

Oh, wow.

[Josh Johnson]

But also, also, I will say this. I don't do it now under the current system that we live in, I can't just be, you know, a black man out the streets on psychedelics for the first time. I don't know. I might take my shirt off.

[Trevor Noah]

We go to.

[Josh Johnson]

We go.

[Trevor Noah]

No, we go to Oregon. We go to. We find like an open field, you know, and then we just get in touch with ourselves, I guess. So.

[Christiana]

Wait, Josh, do you even drink?

[Josh Johnson]

No, No, I don't drink. I've never done anything.

[Christiana]

This is just heavy smoked weed.

[Josh Johnson]

No, this is me raw.

[Trevor Noah]

Wow.

[Josh Johnson]

This is just what I'm like, wow.

[Christiana]

I think you've done nothing in life.

[Josh Johnson]

No.

[Trevor Noah]

You know what we should do? We should. Well, you just made it seem like he's Done nothing in life. That's extreme. You just made it like you were like, have you lived?

[Josh Johnson]

No, but I know what she meant.

[Christiana]

You don't take antidepressants. You're just raw, dogging the world. No. No.

[Trevor Noah]

Wow.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

This is.

[Christiana]

This is deep.

[Trevor Noah]

What we should do then, Josh, we should start. Why don't we start with a cigarette? You might discover.

[Christiana]

Have you ever smoked a cigarette?

[Trevor Noah]

You might like. No. You never know. Josh, you're so. Josh, you're so pure that you might smoke a cigarette and have, like, an ayahuasca experience.

[Josh Johnson]

I might smoke a cigarette and die.

[Trevor Noah]

That's right. I'm saying you might smoke one cigarette and be like, I see my ancestors. We give you, like, one like Marlboro. Like an old school. Yeah, yeah, just like one.

[Christiana]

I think nicotine would be enough for him, man.

[Trevor Noah]

Let's go. You know, Josh, can I tell you what we should do? We should do. We should do podcast episodes. And on each one, we give you one substance. You try it, and then we discuss it with you to see how you feel.

[Josh Johnson]

I feel like in this scenario, you accidentally make crack the first episode. If we don't do the other episode, we're like, we can't find them.

[Christiana]

No, no, no, no. For Trevor, crack is the end game.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes, it is.

[Christiana]

So it'd be like season 40. Yes, it would definitely be crack. I think, Josh, with your psychedelics thing, since you don't drink, you don't smoke weed. I don't know if you're the best authority on people trying the whole population trying other substances.

[Trevor Noah]

I think it's a fantastic idea, but carry on.

[Christiana]

No, but, like, it doesn't come from experience.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. It comes from just a lot of reading.

[Christiana]

Guys, I thought you were on the same journey this guy is on. No expert. But now to find out that you seem crazier now that people haven't done it.

[Trevor Noah]

The first helicopter was not invented by someone who flew in a helicopter. Let the man be.

[Christiana]

What does that even mean?

[Trevor Noah]

You don't have to do the thing to have the idea for the thing. That's what I'm saying. Josh is clearly an enlightened gentleman, but he could do.

[Christiana]

You could take him to Oregon and you do the thing and he comes back and he's like, absolutely not. So I want.

[Trevor Noah]

We're doing that, Josh.

[Christiana]

I think Josh should do it.

[Trevor Noah]

Cause Josh doesn't do anything. Do it, do it, do it, do it.

[Josh Johnson]

You know, so I hear what you're saying, Christiane. I do get it, but I'm Just saying off of both the things that I've seen from people, like from not my firsthand experience, but from the knowledge of other people trying things and everything. I just. In the same way that I have not seen anyone be better for being drunk. I have not seen people whole lots of worse off for having a psychedelic experience. Especially, especially ones that they are even intended to be a little bit life altering or mind opening and are not habitual. I've just not seen any negative repercussions in like a major way. Maybe they had a bad trip, but I think that bad trip also made them think about why it was a bad trip and expose.

[Christiana]

No, I think you're coming from it to it from a very considered perspective. I respect it, but I still think you should do it because I'm not going to do it. So you do it.

[Trevor Noah]

Can I tell you what's funny about Christiana, is this, you are going to be scammed. I'm letting you know you're going to get scammed by because remember this moment and bookmark this episode. The pharmaceutical industry is working on synthesizing psychedelics that grow from our own Mother Earth. They're finding a way to synthesize it and once they figured it out, they're gonna get it passed by the governments and then they're gonna make it illegal to have the stuff that everyone can grow for themselves and not lose all their money on. And then they're gonna sell the thing that was natural to the people and it's not gonna have the full effects because they still want it to like make you like latch onto capitalism. So they're gonna find a way to like, it'll make you feel good for a few moments and then it'll like go away. But it won't have like the real life changing possibilities that like real psychedelics can have. And then when that comes out, it'll be in a pill form. It'll be widely accepted by society like most drugs are, that have like the worst side effects and that get people, you know, opioid addictions and you name it. And then you see Josh, Christiano will take that bottle and she'll tell us that she's on it and we'll be like, why didn't you take the mushrooms? And she'd be like, because my doctor prescribed that one.

[Christiana]

I'm gonna say after we spoke to Michael Pollan, right, Josh? After that I'm in my politics group chat that you guys, my nerdy mum. Group chat, yes. We had a thing and we were like, okay, we're gonna do a trip, and we wanna get a guide and do shrooms. We wanna get your person.

[Trevor Noah]

Look at this.

[Christiana]

We wanna get your person.

[Trevor Noah]

This is amazing.

[Christiana]

But we kept being mothers. There's so many caveats already. It's just like, should this person. Maybe this person sits out and makes sure our phones are theirs. So we are considering it. I think we're all too chicken to ever do it.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay.

[Christiana]

And we're tired, exhausted.

[Trevor Noah]

One step in the right direction, probably.

[Christiana]

Just, like, sleep most of the trip.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Christiana]

But, like, I'm. I'm becoming more open to it. But I think you should do it before you propose a law about it. It's only fair. It's political hypocrisy.

[Trevor Noah]

You know what, Josh? I see what she says. She thinks you're chicken. You're not chicken.

[Christiana]

No.

[Trevor Noah]

After this episode, me and you, we go and we're going to make it happen. Any questions from you, Christiana? I'm ready to vote on this.

[Christiana]

Yeah, I'm ready to vote on it. I don't have any questions. Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

And you're voting?

[Christiana]

I'm gonna vote no.

[Trevor Noah]

Damn.

[Christiana]

But I think that the spirit behind it is a really beautiful thing. Cause you're saying everyone should get the chance to be free.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Christiana]

Which is what psychedelics can possibly do.

[Trevor Noah]

But you're voting no.

[Christiana]

Yeah. Cause I don't think we should compel anyone to do things with their bodies. I'm truly pro choice.

[Trevor Noah]

Damn, Josh, you are not pro choice.

[Josh Johnson]

Well, we compel people all the time.

[Trevor Noah]

On the record as not being forced.

[Christiana]

People to take vacc. You know what I mean?

[Trevor Noah]

Wow. No, no. Josh is. Josh is like, no, no. We recorded. Josh.

[Josh Johnson]

Let her hang with me. She said no vaccines.

[Christiana]

No, I. I do vaccines. I want my kids to be around people who have vaccines. But I would never say if I was running a government, I'd be like.

[Trevor Noah]

So, like your body, don't come near it. Don't feel. Don't do anything.

[Christiana]

Autonomy, radical consent. If I was Gen Z, I'd be like, one of people. Can I kiss you? Okay, now I'm gonna take off your top. I'd be like that type of person, but I'm not. I'm like a millennial. But, yeah, I just. I feel we can't. I don't want to compel anyone to do something with especially that affects their mind. So I'm sorry, it's a no, Josh.

[Trevor Noah]

Well, I still vote yes because I think it's a wonderful idea that could set many people free. And I think We've lost many of the traditions that have helped people do that. But Christiana wants us to be stuck sipping on the juice that capitalism gives us.

[Josh Johnson]

Only it does sound a little like that.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. She wants us to be stuck in our little cubicles and doesn't want us to be free.

[Josh Johnson]

Cause you know what affects the mind, you know what affects the body? The phone. We all have one of those. We need them to survive. We never let them go. Maybe I should have tricked everyone. I braced at everybody.

[Trevor Noah]

Josh got a no. We'll see what Christiana's suggestion is. We're gonna continue this conversation right after this short break. This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen. All right, people, let's talk about bedrooms for a second. Do you ever wake up, look around and think, hmm, this room is not what I hoped it would be? And no, I'm not talking about the person next to you. I'm talking about the personality of your linen. Yeah, that's the thought I had. Well, that was the thought I had until I discovered Brooklinen. I discovered their King Luxe core sheet set and the beautiful quilt in that tea leaf color. And now my bed looks so good, it's practically judging me for wearing sweatpants all day. But honestly, these sheets have made me question how I've lived my life up until this point. Over 200,000 five star reviewers say that you've been missing out. And I'll be honest with you, I think they're right. Even the fancy experts at Good Housekeeping are on board. So refresh your space today with Brooklinen's award winning textures, layers and home essentials. Visit in store or [e-mail] that's B R O O K L I N E N.com get 15% off your first order and save extra when you bundle.

[Unknown]

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[Trevor Noah]

All right, Christiana, it's your turn. You rule the world.

[Christiana]

If I ruled the world, everyone would get an assigned partner and whatever you'd want that partner to be. So if you're a gay man and you really Want a husband? We'd make sure you get a husband. If you're lesbian, you want a wife, I'd make sure you get wife straight. Or if you're someone that's like, I just want platonic love, we'd get you a best friend.

[Trevor Noah]

Now, when you say get you. What is this? Who's the getting and how's the getting? Work. But I'm like, am I gonna get got? Like, when you say getting. So we'd have, like, someone's like, I wanna have trouble.

[Christiana]

We'd have, like, social work. No, no, no, no, no. Everyone would be compelled.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Christiana]

To have an assigned partner. You can say what? That assigned partner has to be like, is this somebody? I.

[Trevor Noah]

But we have to have them.

[Christiana]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

So no one's single in the world.

[Christiana]

No one's alone in the world. So remember.

[Trevor Noah]

But no one's single as well.

[Christiana]

Well, you can have an assigned partner and not be romantically involved with them.

[Josh Johnson]

So you can just make your assigned partner a friend.

[Christiana]

Some of it would be a friend because some people struggle to.

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, wait.

[Christiana]

So I could so imagine you're like, everyone has to have an assigned partner. And as long as you're both alive, you are contractually obliged to each other in some way.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, but what does that mean? What is.

[Christiana]

It could be some people will be like, I want a husband.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay.

[Christiana]

So I would make sure that person got a husband or a wife, and.

[Trevor Noah]

So they wouldn't be matched up with somebody who wanted the opposite. Yeah, okay. Okay, okay, okay.

[Christiana]

And then some people would be like, I. I never. I don't want a husband. I don't want someone in my house. But I want to know. But when I grow old, I'll have a companion. But I would prefer that to person to be a woman. And then we'll be like, okay, we're gonna find you a best friend. And you would arrange it, and you'd have to be together. And this is what I think it does. It solves our loneliness problem. Because there's so many people that, like, die alone and live alone. But if you have an assigned partner, that side of your life is taken care of.

[Trevor Noah]

I'm not mad at this idea. The only problem is I've read multiple studies that have said some of the loneliest people are those in a marriage.

[Christiana]

No, but it doesn't have to be a marriage if you want to marry.

[Trevor Noah]

But what I'm saying is, like, imagine having an assigned person who doesn't like you.

[Christiana]

No, but we would do our best to ensure it's like a good match.

[Trevor Noah]

How do you. Okay, so you're like using like algorithms and stuff and you're trying to like.

[Christiana]

Algorithms, Human wisdom, Prayer maybe. I'm just saying, it's just like, let's be clear, people make really bad choices picking their own shining partners. So it's not like you can do it any better.

[Trevor Noah]

This is true.

[Christiana]

Right. And I'm like, let's outsource that to some sort of government body. And mind you, in the government, it's in their interest for you to be happy because happier people are more productive citizens and there's less crime, there's less violence, et cetera, et cetera. No, you guys are not sold. I'm not looking at your face.

[Trevor Noah]

Well, I mean, my face is giving me away.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, well, I think one thing to your point is I have to look it up. But it was like they did a, this is a survey, but basically they found that the divorce rate in arranged marriages when divorce was allowed, and the divorce rate of love marriages was like pretty close.

[Christiana]

Oh, interesting.

[Josh Johnson]

It was like, it was like not exactly the same, but it was like very close. So I do agree with your thing of like, you are just as well off based off of your general personality and disposition of picking yourself as having someone pick for you. Because happy people make happy couples. Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

My worry is that some people are like such proper, like cat people that they're like, guys, I don't want a person you don't understand. I only like alligators.

[Christiana]

But that person definitely needs a person as somebody who's had like family members who just like isolate themselves from like the family for whatever reasons. And you like, you don't know where they are, you don't know what they're doing. It's a big worry.

[Trevor Noah]

So in your system you'd like pair them up with somebody who likes to dress up as an alligator.

[Christiana]

Sure, if that's your thing. I don't kink shame, you see.

[Trevor Noah]

No, no, I'm just saying. Cause we're trying to solve problems here.

[Josh Johnson]

So I think in your scenario you would have to align them with someone who was like so passionate about outreach and social work that they didn't mind just being a pen pal for maybe years until this person wanted to talk.

[Christiana]

Well, there are people like that.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Christiana]

You know what I mean?

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Christiana]

You know, I think it'd be like. It wouldn't be like an opposite attract thing because I think fundamentally they'd have to be assigned someone that has the same value system as them. Right. Even though if they have a different personality, but it would just mean that you would always have a person.

[Trevor Noah]

What if I kill my person? Okay, well, do you give me another one?

[Christiana]

Well, the thing is, if you go to prison, you're gonna have lots of assigned people. Wow.

[Trevor Noah]

So my assignments follow me.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Christiana]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay. I was just to figure out, like. Okay.

[Christiana]

No, I feel. I feel like. I don't think it become contentious. All human relationships have stuff, but it. I think it would do a lot of things for loneliness because people get to a certain age and they just wake up. Maybe they get widowed, or maybe they.

[Trevor Noah]

You know, I hear. I hear. Look, I think the sentiment behind it, like, most of our sentiments are right. I think it is a beautiful idea. The area where I think it falls short is this. I think that loneliness is always relative to what we perceive the. The other thing to be. Okay. So if you're on an island and there's only one other person on the island, you might find over some time, you're like, this is life and this is great, and you get what I'm saying? But if you live in a world where there's, like, a thousand people and then you only know, like, one of them, you might still be lonely because you're like, oh, I wish I had more friends. I only have one friend, and I. So I think people would just make that the baseline now. You'd become the loser in your basement. Oh, you probably only have an assigned friend. Oh, look at you. Oh, is that your wife? Is that an assigned wife? So you would. I think you'd still have the same loneliness. And I also think, like, on a societal level, there's also got to be a thing that, like, pushes us as humans a little bit. And it's like, you know, it's the push. I don't think it's the push.

[Christiana]

Okay, so there's the push. But every year we pick up the newspaper, we watch news, and there's a story of somebody who has died in their apartment, has been there for years.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Christiana]

And there's a smell coming from it, and the neighbors are like, what's that? And then the police come, and it's a skeleton. There's a. This specific case. Case of actually a black British woman, and it's her skeleton watching tv, and it's like the apartment stuck in time.

[Trevor Noah]

Right, right, right.

[Christiana]

And I think about that happens so much in cities.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. But all around the world. But I'm arguing. I agree with you. We've never heard that story happen in an African village. Yeah, but I've never heard a story.

[Christiana]

One time, Africa, you need to unassign people. You need less people in your business.

[Trevor Noah]

No, so what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is I argue the thing that you're pitching isn't the root cause of what's happening. I would argue you've ruled the world and you've thrown in, like, a way to, like, treat the symptom, but the real issue is just like us living isolated lives in our world. You know what I mean? It's like, that's why I say I love the sentiment. But I personally am going to vote no because I think you fixed it the wrong way, in my opinion as a voter. And I think it's just going to be like, it's just going to be a different way to be lonely. And then some people. You know, there's a weird thing. I think some people might even feel more rejected when their assigned thing doesn't work out, because, like, an algorithm said it's supposed to work out and then it didn't work out. And then imagine how much lonelier you would be if you failed at the thing that was pre chosen for you that was supposed to be perfect. So I'm gonna vote no. I love the sentiment behind it. It's a beautiful idea, but it's a no.

[Josh Johnson]

Okay, before I vote, I have one more question and one potential suggestion. One question. Would you dais the people? So, like, let's say you have your person and then you're both like, 28. And then your person, your assigned person passes. Do you get another person or are you, like, alone for the rest of life now?

[Christiana]

No, I feel like I think the assigned person is sacred.

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, okay.

[Trevor Noah]

I'm going to go back now and vote more no.

[Christiana]

Because I feel like knowing how human, you know, I have a very dismal view of humanity.

[Trevor Noah]

Damn.

[Christiana]

Yeah, I feel like, to Trevor's point.

[Trevor Noah]

You forced Soulmates on. Have you watched that Twin Flames documentary? You just twin flamed people. Have you seen that scam? Everyone who's just listening to this, go and watch Escaping Twin Flames and you will see what Christiana has just pitched to her because she just said sacred. Your partner's sacred. This is the fundamental premise of twin flame scams.

[Josh Johnson]

I'm more voting no, so I am voting yes. But I have a little tweak because I do think it would work better this way if you were already gonna implement it.

[Christiana]

I'm on board for the amendment. I just want the vote, I think.

[Trevor Noah]

Wow, this is the problem with politics.

[Josh Johnson]

Today, I think that your assigned person has to be someone on a different part of the world than you. And I think that at some point, you each get a trip to see each other. So you can see each other as much as you want.

[Christiana]

So, like cultural exchange.

[Josh Johnson]

Cultural exchange, Exactly. Because I think that you having a person in a place that you would probably never go and something you know nothing about, that's actually what, like, brings more humanity into it and a terrible system. What?

[Trevor Noah]

You guys are, like, ridiculously terrible.

[Josh Johnson]

What?

[Trevor Noah]

Your assigned partner's gonna be in another country.

[Christiana]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Now you can't afford to go see the one person who's assigned to you. No.

[Josh Johnson]

But you get a trip. Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

One even worse. Here's what you could have had. Here's what you could have had if you could have flown flights.

[Josh Johnson]

No one says you have to go back.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, but what if you, like, this person's perfect for me, and now you can't go. Have you had a visa? This is American. This is what?

[Christiana]

This is.

[Trevor Noah]

Americans travel the world not knowing how hard it is to travel the world. You whip out your passport, every country lets you in. If you came from any other country, you would never make that suggestion. Imagine meeting your assigned sacred partner. You fall for them. You're like, wow, this is the best person for me. And then the other countries, like, you can't come in because you don't have a visa. And then what?

[Christiana]

But I think that you wouldn't need visas.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. This is her world, where everyone has an assigned partner. So we don't have to worry about the borders inside of the world.

[Trevor Noah]

You guys are adding, like, a bunch of if I rules into one. If I rules.

[Christiana]

No, it's just.

[Josh Johnson]

No, no.

[Christiana]

It's amendment.

[Trevor Noah]

It's just the power to go ahead and make you the person vote. Go ahead. You voted yes.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. Well, Mindstor, no. This is the crazies most ridiculous combination of ideas. Can I tell you something?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

This situation that you got. I would make a movie about this world. And my movie would be about somebody escaping this world. And I would call the movie Unassigned. That's what it would be. I could see the trailer now. I'd be like, in a world where everyone is forced to be with someone they don't know. Michael, come meet your assigned partner. I gotta get out of here. I gotta get out of here. The government locks everybody down. They tell you who you should be with. I say hello to your little friend. One woman decides to fight back. I'm gonna take this shit. I don't need to sign anything. It's sacred. Mary. God damn it, you're sick. One girl. Get her. Get her now. Up against the odds. Mr. President, do we have permission to take her out? She's gonna shut it. I hate this system. Unassigned. Coming to theater soon. That's what I would make.

[Christiana]

Amazing. I mean, I would watch it.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, I would escape that world.

[Josh Johnson]

I would watch it. But I would also wish I was in that world.

[Trevor Noah]

Don't go anywhere, because we got more. What now? After this. If you love iPhone, you'll love Apple Card. It comes with the privacy and security you expect from Apple. Plus, you earn up to 3% daily cash back on every purchase, which can automatically earn interest when you open a High Yield Savings account through Apple Card. Apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app, subject to credit approval. Savings is available to Apple Card owners subject to eligibility. Apple Card and Savings by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch Member, FDIC terms and [e-mail] okay, if I ruled the world, I would say we have no more politicians. They're gone. No more. No more presidents, no more senators, no more congresspeople. No more none of them. I think it is a defunct position. I think we no longer need it because the reason we needed it before was because we didn't have, like, telephones and Internet. So villages and communities needed to get a person to go to the central body to tell the people there what they needed. And because we, like, we as the people, were like, working on our farms and stuff, we couldn't all leave our stuff to go and tell the people what we need. So we'd send a representative. That's where the term comes from, a representative to go and tell the other representatives what our neck of the woods needs. We no longer need this. Now, I know what you're thinking you're saying, but then, Trevor, this seems like a world of chaos. Who is making the rules? Who is I? In my world, the rules are now made by the people, for the people. And what would happen is everybody would have a device. It is secure. Don't worry. We've done the work on this already. It's secure. And what you would do in your daily life is you would pick the things that you want to be a certain way. So you would say, like, oh, I think we should spend more money on roads and we should spend more money on books and education. Teachers should get more salary and no, I don't want more war. And I Think we should also do this and we shouldn't do that. And that's all you would do every day. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You just do it when you want to do it. You don't even have to do it like at. In one go, essentially elections. But all of, let's put it this way, all of this information will be pertinent at the time that it needs to be pertinent. But it isn't on the fixed cycle that it is the way it is now in elections because now this is arbitrary.

[Christiana]

So it's a referendum, which I hate. Cause it's Brexit.

[Trevor Noah]

No, no, no, Wait, wait, wait, wait. It's not a referendum because it's going into law. It's not a referendum. Right, so instead of voting for a person who could not do the thing you say, I must always point out many people get voted in and then do not do the thing that they say. You would vote. And then if most people have voted for free healthcare, there would now be free health care.

[Christiana]

But who would give the free healthcare?

[Trevor Noah]

Bureaucrats. Oh, so bureaucrats still run what's happening. You need. Cause people who push paper. This is what you need. You need actuaries and you need like accountants and you need this world, right? And they're making the thing happen. They're executing what has come from the people. But there's no longer a leader who gets to take the thing that came from the people and then like make it about themselves and then not do it.

[Christiana]

How do you get to be a bureaucrat?

[Trevor Noah]

No, no, it's just qualifications. Cause all you're doing is working things out. It's like economists, accountants, engineers, scientists. That's what they do. It's your job. You don't have power. You just have to do what the people said. Bureaucracies have a lot power, but not in this system. Because in this system it has to be executed. It just has to be done. So let's say a community votes. They want a park and they want the park to be funded with their taxes. Then they would vote on this. Everyone has their little app and they would vote on it and it would get passed as a measure. And then the bureaucrats just have to make it happen.

[Josh Johnson]

So you're almost having like elections towards policies because it's.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, there's no people involved.

[Josh Johnson]

There's no people involved.

[Trevor Noah]

There's no leader.

[Josh Johnson]

There's no leader. It's just. Do you want. There's no debates, do you want access to this thing? Because the, the reason that I. That I worry about there not being debates is that I think there's a disconnect. And some of this is just how we live as people. But there's like a disconnect between when you get to the ballot box and how something is worded versus the points that people made before you got there.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, cool.

[Josh Johnson]

And so there are sometimes things that are, like, intentionally vague, as in, like, there have even been courts that had to throw out certain ballots before the vote because they were like, this is worded in a way too big.

[Trevor Noah]

It becomes backward mumble. Right. It's like a riddle.

[Josh Johnson]

Exactly. So then how would you stop people who, let's say, don't want women to have, like, access to abortion? That's still a belief someone will hold. How do you stop them from using. Whether it's the bureaucracy or their ballot.

[Trevor Noah]

The great thing in the system is in the same way you can use your phone today to reiterate or to explain or to define. Right. If you use any of, like, even basic level AIs. Now, I'm not even talking about ones connected to the Internet, like a simple large language model. You can have that on device, and it can just explain this to you. So it can say to you, as, Josh, hey, Josh, this is what this measure is. So you go as Josh, I do not think. Cause you've said this on the podcast, and I see you've brought it up again. You don't want women to have a choice over their bodies. I see you brought it up again.

[Josh Johnson]

And so for you, Josh, that's not.

[Trevor Noah]

For you. The thing would say to you as, Josh, Josh, do you think that a woman should be allowed to make choices over her body medically? And then you would say yes or no based on that, but it would make the language as clear for you as possible.

[Christiana]

So you're letting a robot do that work? Like, what do you mean an AI would do this? The interpretation in the interpretation.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, yeah. I'll tell you why. Let me tell you why.

[Christiana]

AI is so. No, no, wait, wait.

[Trevor Noah]

Let me explain why. Let me explain why. So the first thing we have to do is separate types of AIs, right? There's some AIs that are very. They're insular. And then there are other AIs that are. That are not so. They're connected to things and they. No, no, no. This is locked in. It's insular. All it's doing is explaining. Does that make sense? It's not intelligent in that way. It is just. It's able to, like, rephrase the thing and explain it to you in a way it could translate into your language. It could use, you know, words that you understand more than others. That's essentially what it's doing.

[Christiana]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Okay.

[Christiana]

So in your basically pitching direct democracy, it's like what the Greeks used to do, like, but a digital version. Yeah, yeah. So that means everybody gets a say.

[Trevor Noah]

Everybody gets to say.

[Christiana]

And it's easy to have a say.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Christiana]

Okay. I don't like that. Everybody shouldn't get a say.

[Trevor Noah]

Everybody shouldn't get a say.

[Christiana]

No. Everybody should get a say.

[Trevor Noah]

Huh.

[Christiana]

My other question. Is there still religious institutions?

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, it's in the world we're in, but.

[Christiana]

So that means you still have leaders and politicians.

[Trevor Noah]

No, no, no, no. I get what you're saying.

[Christiana]

Because my worry is that humans are, like, inherently hierarchical, and now we don't have politicians.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay.

[Christiana]

They are going to find other, like, people to do the thinking on their behalf. So it's either going to be religious.

[Trevor Noah]

Leaders, in my world, probably be tiktokers.

[Christiana]

Okay. It's gonna be people who used to dance as a hobby but now make bread.

[Trevor Noah]

Hey, man, we all used to dance, I think.

[Josh Johnson]

Okay, so two last questions on it, Right? One is, are you going to be voting all the way down to making distinctions about the spending? When we judge the spending because we say we want free health care, now someone has to decide out of the money that we do have how much of the budget should leave other things to go to the free healthcare.

[Trevor Noah]

Right.

[Josh Johnson]

Is that also gonna get a vote?

[Trevor Noah]

No, because this is where I believe somebody who's good at numbers is better than somebody who's good at talking.

[Josh Johnson]

Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

And I think a lot of the time our issues in society come from the fact that politicians get involved in that. But what do they know about it? Like, who are they to divide up a budget and be like, oh, we should send this much to Defense?

[Christiana]

Oh, I'm getting advice from their bureaucrats.

[Trevor Noah]

No, they're not. But they're not. We know that they're not. They're getting advice from lobbyists. They're getting advice from special interest groups. They're getting advice from, like, someone who's scratching their back. They're getting advice from the company they're gonna go to after they leave government. That's where they're getting their advice.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

So I'm again, I'm not even saying my system is perfect. We will discover things we might need to tweak. But I'm saying the current system is that humans who don't know numbers are saying what the number splits should be. Have you ever seen these stories where the American military has to like spend money, but like really fast just because they have excess money?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

And they'll tell you these stories. They're like, they told us, they said we have to build something. And we were like, we don't need to build anything. And they said, we don't give a shit. Build something. And so we built a warehouse in Afghanistan. And you're like, what is the warehouse for? They're like, we don't know. We just built it. But that's a system that's not working correctly. Right. Because you had an excess. Instead of building an empty warehouse in Afghanistan, you could have built like 50 schools, maybe even more. But you just had to finish that money because then that's how budget. You see, that's what I'm saying. I would eliminate those. People are not involved in that.

[Christiana]

My, the issue I'm having is people vote against their own interests all the time.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Christiana]

And they vote for things that are bad for them.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Christiana]

And in history, the best politics, not even politicians, the best leaders have gone against like say a Fred Hampton RIP Gone against the status quo.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Christiana]

The people were like, no way. Do you know, like really deeply unpopular idea. And sometimes it's like, top down, this is what we're going to do. Like to give an example, like the COVID mandate, like, well, if you don't get this shot, you're not coming to work. And then people are like, oh, some people are like, okay, I'm gonna quit my job. But most people were like, all right, shoot me in the arm. And then it, you know, kind of didn't eliminate. But this life threatening virus slowly receded from society even though it's still there. Right. So the thing that we need about politicians is that they can push through unpopular things by force that people do not want. But we can take back that power, right?

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. So now.

[Christiana]

And we can get rid of them.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Christiana]

However, if I'm in a society where I'm in like a minority that knows that this will be better for us as a group.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Christiana]

Let's think about gay marriage. It was like never a popular thing. People were like, no, no, no, no. And then the Supreme Court one day was like, oh, yeah, actually, why not? You know what I mean?

[Trevor Noah]

But by the time that happened, the American population in general was not opposed to it.

[Christiana]

But there were enough.

[Trevor Noah]

It was not contrarian when it was.

[Christiana]

Passed, but there were enough people that would still vote no, but not enough.

[Trevor Noah]

To win the vote. That's what I'm saying on the app. They wouldn't have won the vote. That's what I'm trying to say. And so I agree with you. I actually think sometimes I don't think people vote against their best interests. Just like randomly. I think a lot of people vote against their best interests because they've been sold something that is different to what it is. So if we look at Fred Hampton as a good example, like, right, the leader of the Black Panther organization, when he formed his Rainbow Coalition, what did he do there? He found a way to connect poor white people and poor black people and poor other color people. And he was like, whatever race you are, if you are poor, we are putting you together in a group. And he said to these white people, I know you think that I'm a nigger. Forget that for now. Are your kids hungry? Yeah. Well, their kids are also hungry. Is your house leaking? Their house is also leaking. Let's forget your racism for now. Let's just fix these issues. Let's band together and let's work on this. Right? And what that shows you is that those people, once presented with an issue that solves their problem, don't vote against their best interests. But what politicians do is they get in the way of fixing things. So they say, you wanna vote for free healthcare? You know who's gonna use your free healthcare? The Mexicans. And then people are like, damn, we shouldn't vote for free healthcare. So I'm actually arguing, get the politicians out of the storytelling. Everyone just has it on their app. And when they're in the privacy of their own home with their own little device, talking to their own version of Siri, they just get to have a conversation where it goes like. And they go like, so where's the money going? And it's like, well, the pool and. Or what are we spending? Well, your teachers need more money. And this is, do you want them? And you can still vote. No, but now what you vote is what happens. There's no one who inflames tensions. There's no one who gives you a story around.

[Christiana]

Well, that's where. That's my issue. Because I think that you under, like politicians is just the name and the label.

[Trevor Noah]

I know what you're saying.

[Christiana]

Political animals.

[Trevor Noah]

I hear what you're saying.

[Christiana]

And there's going to be that person that's going to go around, do the work.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Christiana]

Go door to door and say like, well, the machine is telling you this. But I know.

[Josh Johnson]

Or they go straight to the machine. Like, Elon would just buy.

[Trevor Noah]

No, whatever. The thing is, you can't do that, John. Why?

[Christiana]

There's money.

[Trevor Noah]

Capitalism. No, no, no.

[Christiana]

How are you going to pay for it?

[Trevor Noah]

Because I rule the world. That's how I'm doing it. You guys forgot that I ruled the world. I said, after I ruled the world. You think I'm going to rule the world?

[Christiana]

So there's no wealthy people in this.

[Trevor Noah]

Society that can buy this thing. Same way you can't just buy the election system. Like, no, in a functioning country, you cannot. You can't just buy it. You can't just be like, I'm buying election.

[Christiana]

Oh, one day I want to buy an election. That's like.

[Trevor Noah]

What I mean is you can't just, like, buy election. It's not for sale is what my point is.

[Josh Johnson]

Got you. Gotcha.

[Trevor Noah]

That's the thing. I'm. I'm not saying no stories, no narratives. No. The difference is, though, let's use America as an example. In America, when you ask people about gun safety, overwhelmingly, I mean, the number moves. But you find at some points it's like 75% to 80% of the American population agrees that there should be stricter regulations on certain types of weapons and who can hold them and who can sell them and who can buy them. And what magazines and what am. I mean, all of it. It doesn't get passed by the people that have been elected to represent the people. That, for me, makes no sense.

[Christiana]

But why don't you just ban lobbyists or, like, have less money in politics?

[Trevor Noah]

No, because I still don't think it's a. Because I think this issue has long. It's, like, lived beyond lobbying, and it's lived beyond. Does that make sense?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. One thing I agree with within that is that, like, even without the lobbyists, you can never underestimate the level of laziness that any given politician has. Like, there's all this stuff where politicians have let their aides read the entire bill, then describe it to them.

[Christiana]

People are lazy. We're giving them an app. Some people may just look at their kid. Vote. You go ahead. You vote for me.

[Trevor Noah]

No, no, no, no. Our thing has biometrics. You can't do that.

[Christiana]

Oh, so it's a surveillance.

[Trevor Noah]

No, it's not. No, no, it's not. It's not surveillance. It's biometric. It's not. It's biometric.

[Christiana]

Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

It's biometric the same way.

[Christiana]

This is like. I like how you can dystopian.

[Trevor Noah]

Wait, can I just say. Can I just say misassigned by force. You're telling me about dystopian.

[Josh Johnson]

That is dystopian.

[Trevor Noah]

I'm saying. Do you.

[Christiana]

I don't want to give the government my eyes.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay. Okay. Does your phone. Does your phone lock using your face?

[Josh Johnson]

No.

[Trevor Noah]

What is your phone lock using a.

[Christiana]

Number like a normal person.

[Trevor Noah]

So your phone. No fingerprint.

[Christiana]

You can get my phone right now and your phone. I'm not taking the mark of the beast.

[Trevor Noah]

So then I'm saying to you, I'll give you a device that locks using a number. It's just biometrics. But I would know that it's you.

[Christiana]

Ah, Trevor, just paper tick. No, I would know.

[Trevor Noah]

I would know that it's you. No, I'm making it the most simple. You don't have to go anywhere, you know. Can I tell you what has the highest voting rates? American Idol. They never complain about low voter turnouts.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

They've never once been like, nah, we couldn't get enough people to vote.

[Christiana]

Yeah, because it's like the same pool of people voting multiple times.

[Trevor Noah]

No, but it's also because it's simple. It is simple.

[Christiana]

Okay. I don't think voting should be hard because now I'm gonna sound like a gerrymandering, like, Republican, but we shouldn't make it too easy.

[Trevor Noah]

I think it should be too easy to vote.

[Christiana]

No, no, no, no.

[Trevor Noah]

I think it should be completely easy because it is the will of the people.

[Josh Johnson]

Okay, and my last question.

[Trevor Noah]

Go ahead.

[Josh Johnson]

Very last question. Because one thing that comes to mind is something that just happened in Australia a little while ago where the First Nation people were basically trying to get a. Like a parliamentary advisor recognition in the constitution. Recognition. And. And basically because all of Australia had to vote for it, it got a no.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Even though it polled well. Obviously, some of this is politicians. And by the time people went there, they were like, wait, are they gonna lose their land if they get this? So there was some confusion there, but this is something that will never see the light of day as long as everybody gets a vote on it. People who really have no stake in it, and then the people with all of the stake in it, because they are such a minority of the group, they don't have the advocacy that shows the people who aren't affected by it how important it is. So I'm not saying a politician and not necessarily even a lobbyist, but if we're missing out on those people, do we miss the opportunities for. Let's Say we're in a country with more men than women.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes, completely.

[Josh Johnson]

I want women. Josh Johnson wants women to have reproductive rights. And so if more men are voting than women and men feel some type of way, or they're like, I don't care because it's not me completely, how do we fix that in your system?

[Christiana]

It's bad for minority, right?

[Trevor Noah]

So you say this. You say this, Josh, and this is what I love about you. You have a beautiful, open heart, Josh Johnson. That's what I love about you. It truly is one of the things I love about you most. Contrary to popular belief. Contrary to popular belief and popular meaning Christianity, predominantly. Human beings are good and human beings are kind. Right. And it may seem like that is not the case, but you do realize for most of the biggest movements and changes we've experienced in society, the group who is not affected, or at least thinks they're not affected, has voted for white people. Had to vote to give black people the vote in America, in South Africa, in many places, they're the. Literally, they had to be like, yes, the black people. And in South Africa, think about how crazy it was. It was a minority as well. In America, you can be like, ah. They were like, well, what's the worst that could happen? In South Africa, a group of people who are like, what, 7, 8%, maybe of the population were like, we're gonna let 90% of the population vote and see what happen. They had to vote for that. When it came to women's voting rights, men were the ones who voted to let women vote. So I think we should not take for granted that human beings are a lot better and kinder than we think they are. Because history is littered with examples of people voting, even for people who aren't the majority and aren't the most. And to go back to what you said, there was confusion. People didn't know what it meant. They didn't know if they were actually disenfranchising the first nations people. So in my system, it wouldn't do that. It would ask them a simple question and they'd be able to get clarification, and then they would be able to vote on behalf of the people who do not have the majority, which is what I think most voting is anyway. And I think it would alleviate a lot of those problems. But humans have shown they have the capability to do it. So I've made my pitch. I'm ready to take the votes.

[Josh Johnson]

Okay, I'm going to vote yes. Because even if we don't see the politician As a sum, a zero sum, good or evil. I do think that their ability to, like, just not care, like, just be like, I'm chilling.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Josh Johnson]

Like, I represent these ideas. But, like, guys, I don't really care what happens. I just want to get elected again. So, like, don't even make waves this time. I think if you're missing that Preach, then you have a little bit more access to change quicker than the clip that we've seen Preach.

[Christiana]

I'm going to vote no, but not for the reasons that Trevor thinks. Not because I think human beings are so awful and terrible, even though I do think they are, but because I think that it's easy to get burnt out thinking. Like, most people do not like to think about political choices all the time. That's why they outsource these decisions. And I think what would eventually happen, it would be a dictatorship. Like, people would be so burnt out, they're like, actually, I don't want to think about this ever again. Is there one person they can do for me? If it's a good outcome, it'd be a woman dictator, which we don't really get to see often.

[Trevor Noah]

So there would be more burnt out than the system we have now where people have to, like, see campaigns and go to a ballot station. Yeah. Because most. Most people listen to things and read things.

[Christiana]

One thing I believe about humans is that there are a lot of apolitical humans out there, like most people do.

[Trevor Noah]

I agree with you, but they don't.

[Christiana]

Want to think about this.

[Trevor Noah]

But it's not politics. This is just issues.

[Christiana]

They don't even want to think about issues.

[Trevor Noah]

Politics are what humans put on top of an issue. This is just an issue.

[Christiana]

I don't want a life with issues.

[Trevor Noah]

But everyone handles issues.

[Christiana]

No, no. Some people have good lives, trapped.

[Trevor Noah]

But even those people. Even those people, if you say to them, should we build another opera house? They're like, yeah, I would like a say in this. So you say no because you think that people won't like it more.

[Christiana]

I think it sounds really tiring, the system. And I just say that like parents. I'm telling you, they're going to be like, please. No.

[Trevor Noah]

Wow.

[Christiana]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Well, I guess my vote doesn't go through because Christiana is tired.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, I like that.

[Christiana]

What we've now imagined, now's your chance to, like, defend me and be like, there's reason.

[Trevor Noah]

I mean. Well, she's just saying she's tired. Well, and that's why she doesn't want to make the world a better place.

[Josh Johnson]

No, no. Here's my pitch. Here's my pitch for what Christiana is saying, though, is that I think that right now we think that people are politically exhausted because of, like, candidates or ads or just, like.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

I think that that level of engagement doesn't necessarily increase just because the quality of someone's life gets better. It's why people stop taking their medicine. You ever see somebody who's sick and then they get prescribed the medicine and they're like, man, I feel great. I feel so good. I'm not gonna take my medicine. That's.

[Trevor Noah]

I mean, this is true.

[Josh Johnson]

That's kind of what I hear when Christiana's, like, making these points, is that it's like, there's a level of apathy that we think we're solving with this. With the.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, I'll throw one amendment at you. Yeah, we gamify it like, Candy Crush. Candy Crush has never struggle, people. I've never seen anyone on the train be like, another level. So I'm saying I'm gonna gamify it. I'll make it really entertaining, really cool.

[Christiana]

This is insane.

[Trevor Noah]

No, you'll be playing he's the Joker. You'll be playing the game. You'll be playing the game, and then you'll be like. It'll be, like, exciting, and it'll be like. It'll be like level four. And then I'll be like, in between level four, be like, hey, do you want to fund another school? And then it'll be like, you're like, yeah, we should fund another school. And then you go back. Crazy Candy.

[Josh Johnson]

It is. It is a little dystopian.

[Trevor Noah]

People always have time for games. People always. No one. Guys, there's a reason social media makes so much money. It's not because people are tired of being. People are tired of engaging. People are tired of engaging in boring things.

[Christiana]

I can't believe this.

[Trevor Noah]

People are tired of engaging in boring things.

[Josh Johnson]

I'm with you.

[Trevor Noah]

Not even one person puts down their phone and goes like, ugh, too much TikTok. Cristiana, you're guilty of this.

[Christiana]

I know.

[Trevor Noah]

You spent seven hours on your phone, and you don't have 10 seconds to vote in my app. 10 seconds to vote in my app. Guys, I will make my voting system cutesy and demure.

[Josh Johnson]

I'm with you. But now you're beholden to the attitude of somebody who is getting annoyed because they can't pass a certain level. Yeah, and.

[Trevor Noah]

And no, I'm saying there's different gamifications. We'll find a way.

[Josh Johnson]

I just think it's a little dystopian to be like, play for your rights.

[Trevor Noah]

No, what I'm saying is we'll make it interesting.

[Christiana]

We'll make it interesting.

[Trevor Noah]

You know what? If I ruled the world, I wouldn't ask you guys before I passed any laws. I should have said that if I ruled the world, I would just do shit. That's what I would do. I'll just do shit. And we'd live in a better world. You guys could play your game. Well, anyway, thanks. Thanks for coming. Thanks for joining us here. I need to go and re evaluate my views on democracy and the system. Josh, Christiana, as always, it was a pleasure. What now with Trevor Noah is produced by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin and Jodi Avagan. Our senior producer is Jess Hackle. Claire Slaughter is our producer. Music, mixing and mastering by Hannis Brown. Thank you so much for listening. Join me next Thursday for another episode of what Now.