If You Ruled the World: A Listener Grab Bag [VIDEO]

Summary

Summary of "If You Ruled the World: A Listener Grab Bag" Episode from What Now? with Trevor Noah

In the special Thanksgiving bonus episode of What Now? with Trevor Noah, host Trevor Noah, along with co-hosts Christiana Mbakwe Medina and Josh Johnson, delves into a listener-driven segment titled "If I Ruled the World." This interactive session invites listeners to submit their imaginative ideas on how they would transform the world if given absolute power. The trio discusses each submission, debates its merits, and votes to determine whether the proposal would be enacted in their hypothetical world.

---

1. Airplane Boarding Order and Removal of In-flight Wi-Fi

Suggestion:
All airplanes would board from back to front, and Wi-Fi would be removed from planes.

Discussion:
Trevor introduces the first listener suggestion, which aims to reorganize the boarding process and eliminate in-flight Wi-Fi. Christiana immediately opposes the removal of Wi-Fi, emphasizing her reliance on being connected even while traveling.

• Christiana Mbakwe Medina [07:21]:
  "I'm on TikTok. I'm on Instagram. I'm scrolling. I'm in the family WhatsApp group."

Josh initially hesitates but ultimately agrees with Christiana, valuing the ability to disconnect during flights. However, recognizing his own habits of using Wi-Fi for watching movies, he leans towards keeping it.

• Josh Johnson [08:15]:
  "It's nice to be unreachable."

Vote Result:
No majority against the proposal.

---

2. Bosses Selected by Employee Vote

Suggestion:
All bosses are selected by employee vote.

Discussion:
The hosts explore the feasibility of democratically selecting leadership in workplaces. Josh humorously forecasts the pitfalls, suggesting that being a likable boss might lead to inefficient management, as generosity with PTO could hinder company performance.

• Josh Johnson [10:19]:
  "Democracy is bad... everyone might vote for me to be their boss. They know I won't say no to PTO."

Christiana raises concerns about the potential for workplace chaos and diminished authority.

Vote Result:
No majority against the proposal.

---

3. Ban on Single-Ply Toilet Paper

Suggestion:
Ban single-ply toilet paper.

Discussion:
This suggestion sparks a humorous and somewhat contentious debate. Trevor shares his experience of using newspaper as an alternative, highlighting the impracticality and discomfort associated with single-ply toilet paper.

• Trevor Noah [12:31]:
  "I wiped my ass with newspaper for, like, years of my life."

Christiana counters by mentioning environmental benefits, suggesting that less paper usage is advantageous for the planet.

• Christiana Mbakwe Medina [14:01]:
  "Cause I think it's good for the planet. Less paper."

Despite Christiana's environmental argument, the practical drawbacks lead the hosts to oppose the ban.

Vote Result:
No majority against the proposal.

---

4. High Schools Start No Earlier Than 9:00 AM

Suggestion:
High schools would start no earlier than 9:00 AM.

Discussion:
The hosts commend this well-considered proposal, recognizing the importance of adequate sleep for teenagers. Josh shares his own high school experience to emphasize how early start times can negatively impact student performance and well-being.

• Christiana Mbakwe Medina [16:20]:
  "Teenagers need sleep. They need 12 to 14 hours."

• Josh Johnson [17:38]:
  "They have to go home and study till late. Do their extra extracurriculars."

Trevor concurs, acknowledging the thoughtful approach of the suggestion.

Vote Result:
Yes majority in favor of the proposal.

---

5. Mandatory Shadowing of Service Employees

Suggestion:
Everyone, no matter their job, has to shadow a service employee one day a month.

Discussion:
The hosts dissect the meaning of "shadowing," debating whether it implies merely observing or actively performing the job. Concerns arise about the potential for superficial understanding or exploitation of service workers if shadowing is mandatory.

• Christiana Mbakwe Medina [18:33]:
  "They want us to gain empathy for service workers, but if anything, watching someone do their job up close, you always have less empathy."

Josh concludes that the proposal might lead to unintended negative consequences, ultimately opposing it.

Vote Result:
No majority against the proposal.

---

6. Completely Soundproof Toilet Stalls

Suggestion:
All toilet stalls should be completely soundproof.

Discussion:
This suggestion triggers a lively debate about privacy versus communal camaraderie. Trevor expresses concerns about isolation and safety, fearing that soundproof stalls might prevent people from recognizing when someone needs help.

• Trevor Noah [20:12]:
  "Imagine going into a public toilet and it's silent. It would be creepy."

Christiana values the communal aspect, enjoying the inadvertent conversations that foster a sense of community.

• Christiana Mbakwe Medina [23:13]:
  "I like when you're on the toilet, you just hear people talking shit. It helps the camaraderie."

Both Trevor and Christiana agree that the sounds contribute to the public bathroom experience, leading to unanimous opposition.

Vote Result:
No unanimous against the proposal.

---

Conclusion

Out of all the listener-submitted ideas, only the proposal to delay high school start times received majority support from the hosts. The episode underscores the importance of considering both practical implications and human experiences when envisioning world changes. Trevor Noah wraps up by encouraging listeners to continue submitting their creative ideas for future episodes and wishes everyone a happy Thanksgiving.

Final Thoughts:
The episode blends humor with thoughtful discussion, highlighting the challenges of implementing systemic changes. While most proposals were met with skepticism, the successful idea emphasizes a genuine concern for adolescent well-being, showcasing the show's balance of entertainment and insightful dialogue.

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Notable Quotes:

• Trevor Noah [07:21]:
  "I'm on TikTok. I'm on Instagram. I'm scrolling. I'm in the family WhatsApp group."

• Josh Johnson [10:19]:
  "Democracy is bad... everyone might vote for me to be their boss. They know I won't say no to PTO."

• Christiana Mbakwe Medina [14:01]:
  "Cause I think it's good for the planet. Less paper."

• Christiana Mbakwe Medina [16:20]:
  "Teenagers need sleep. They need 12 to 14 hours."

• Trevor Noah [20:12]:
  "Imagine going into a public toilet and it's silent. It would be creepy."

---

This summary captures the essence of the Thanksgiving bonus episode, providing a comprehensive overview of the discussions, debates, and conclusions drawn by Trevor Noah and his co-hosts.

Transcript

[Trevor Noah]

You're listening to what now with Trevor Noah. So it's Thanksgiving week here in the United States, and guess what? We have a little bonus episode just for you. Perfect to help spark a conversation at your Thanksgiving table. Yeah, and hopefully. Hopefully a conversation that won't lead to someone storming out of the room. If you've been listening to the show for a while, you know that one of our favorite games is is if I Ruled the World. And you probably know how it works. Everyone comes up with one suggestion. If you were in charge of the world, you could do anything, anything you want. What would it be? What would you change? You make your case and then everyone votes on it. And if you get enough votes, that change would happen in your hypothetical world. Well, today it's if I Ruled the World Listener edition. We got a bunch of suggestions for ideas from you, the what now listeners, and Christiana Mbakwe Medina, Josh Johnson, and I. Well, we run through them and we decide if we would, in fact, want to live in your world. It's a fun one. So let's get into it. This is what now with Trevor Noah. This message is a paid partnership with Apple Card. The holidays are almost here, and who doesn't love getting a little back? This season, I can earn up to 3% daily cash back on presents I buy for my loved ones with my Apple card without paying a single fee. It's simple and convenient because it's in the wallet app on my iPhone, so it's always with me. And because everything I need is in one place, it's easy to see what I've spent and make a payment. So if you have an iPhone, you can apply for an Apple card and start using it right away. It's easy. Subject to credit approval. Variable APRs for Apple Card range from 18.74% to 28.99% based on creditworthiness rates as of October 1, 2024. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch Member, FDIC terms and [e-mail] so before we get into today's if I Rule the world chat, since it's Thanksgiving week, I've been thinking a lot about the kinds of conversations we have when we gather with friends and loved ones around the table. And a lot of people ask me this question. They'll say, oh, Trevor, what do you do with your family? Like, how do you keep it light and look? I don't have a perfect answer for this, but I noticed there was a distinct difference in how some people started having their Thanksgiving conversations, especially over the past decade, let's say, and how we would gather with family members back in the day in South Africa. And the biggest one was we started all our conversations speaking about things that we all experienced, just taking people down memory lane, you know, connecting around, like, crazy stories. Like, you know, grandparents would talk about the grandkids and how much they'd grown and like, embarrassing stories from their lives. And, you know, and then the parents would talk about their first time having a Christmas dinner. Because obviously we didn't have Thanksgiving in South Africa, but we had family gatherings and family dinners where everyone came together at a certain time of year. And what I noticed is if you start conversations with the fond memories that connect people, you spend less time in the politics of now that divides people. And it doesn't mean you can't talk about politics. I'm not saying that. But just remember what you're trying to do. You're trying to connect with other human beings around a table. Sharing a meal doesn't matter what the holiday is. That's fundamentally the purpose. And so if that's the purpose, think about the best way to go about that. It's finding a way to connect with another human being's heart. And a lot of the times our memories are where our heart lives. So, I don't know, try it. You know, ask your parents about a funny story from when you were young that maybe you've forgotten about. Tell them to share something embarrassing about you that maybe you didn't know about, you know, and then you can tell them a story from your childhood, something that you got away with that you always hoped they would never find out. And I don't know, let's connect and see if we can make this one a little less about politics and a little bit more about the human beings connecting around this time of year. And maybe this will give you some inspiration. Play around of if I Ruled the World with your friends and family and see if things stay a little more fun and insightful. Right? And remember to think big, think about crazy, think just completely out of the box. In fact, if you want inspiration, take a listen to me, Christiana and Josh right after this short break. This episode is brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. Travel is all about learning and experiencing things in a new, exciting way. But you could get even more from your travels with the Chase Sapphire Reserve Card. You can earn three times the points on travel purchases and receive a $300 travel credit. It also comes with plenty of other perks, too, like access to Sapphire's Airport lounge network. You can relax and refresh with locally inspired menus, a curated selection of drinks and more before getting on your flight. Make the most out of your next trip. Learn more at chase.com/sapphire Reserve cards issued by JP Morgan, Chase Bank, NA Member, FDIC, subject to credit approval terms apply. Well, look at that. We're in the real world now. Here are a few that came in. I'm going to read them to you. I mean, we're still judges reading and reacting. I will read them to you and then we'll vote on them.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, first suggestion. If I rule the world, all airplanes would board from back to front and we'd remove all wifi from planes.

[Josh Johnson]

No, I mean, they had me with the first sentence. I don't know why they would ruin it with the second one.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, you want the wifi.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

I disagree. Both. I just started flying business class, so now you guys wanna take it away from.

[Trevor Noah]

It's just wifi, though.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, but if you're in the business class and you board later, that's more time to be in the lounge, potentially. If you really think about this as, like a real champagne capitalist. Right.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

Let all the pores get on first. Right.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Then what's the point of the capitalism if you're not treated better?

[Trevor Noah]

No, no. Josh said you are treated better because you get to an inner lounge for longer.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Yeah, no, but then you lose the overhead space.

[Trevor Noah]

No, you don't. Because they save it for business class. They supposed to save it.

[Josh Johnson]

The only people who lose it are the people in the middle. They're screwed no matter who boards.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

They paid more for their ticket.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, they did, actually.

[Josh Johnson]

It's crazy.

[Trevor Noah]

They did, actually.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

So you're a. No, absolutely not.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

And I want WI fi on a plane.

[Trevor Noah]

You like wi fi on a plane?

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Yes. I'm on TikTok. I'm on Instagram. I'm scrolling. I'm in the family WhatsApp group.

[Trevor Noah]

Christiana, we need to discuss your habitual connectedness.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Oh, yeah. I'm heavily online.

[Trevor Noah]

You know, that's the one time where I'm gone, gone, gone, gone in ways that you cannot even imagine why. No. When I'm on a plane, I'm like, guys, there is nothing that needs me on a plane. I'm gone. I have like that old vibe to it where I'm just like, ah, he's on a plane. You know who I'm like, remember Justine Sako?

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

The girl who made the joke. The woman who made the joke was like, going to Africa. Hope I don't get aids. Lol. Just joking. I'm white. And then landed in Africa and her family was like, you need to go back to America. And the whole world was like, you're fired and we hate you. I live that kind of life. I don't want to know anything that's happening on the ground because I'm on a plane. Even if, like an asteroid hit, it's none of my business. I'm on a plane.

[Josh Johnson]

It's nice to be unreachable.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Josh Johnson]

So I agree with that. And that's why I would say even though I'm not fully in favor of the wifi thing, there are certain movies that I don't even try to watch unless I'm on a plane. There's got to watch it right away. Wait till it comes out on streaming plane.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Josh Johnson]

And so I think if I had WI fi on the plane, I wouldn't.

[Trevor Noah]

You wouldn't watch them?

[Josh Johnson]

I wouldn't watch them.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

So I'll go fully yes with this.

[Trevor Noah]

No WI Fi. But then Christiana voted no on it. No on both proposals and bored from back to front. You and Josh, you have to board.

[Josh Johnson]

From back to front. Because the chaos that happens, the way that we do it now. Yes. We're late every time. They have to make up time in the air. On the last, like, five flights I've been on, because we get to the back and they said that it was full, but then everybody's like, I'll risk it. And they're sitting in all these different areas. And so now people have to go to the back because that's the only place in any space. But then people who finally get to the back who were boarding last, because they're group Z, they're the ones that are like, but this should have been my space. Now there's an argument you got to board back to front.

[Trevor Noah]

So I've seen somebody deal with this. I guess they were like, I don't know what level of math you have to be doing, but apparently the best way is not back to front and it's not front to back. Because if you do back to front, there's also going to be issues, apparently. So your problem would come in when you're actually boarding, because now Josh is seat 30. I'm 29, you're 28. But if I get on the plane and then Christiana doesn't, you're still going to have people blocking. Yeah. So you'd have to line people up outside by their seat, by their row and then you don't have enough space in the airport to do that. So that's why it fails. The real way you're supposed to do it is actually. It's supposed to be, like, alternating seats and alternating sides is how the plane is supposed to board from, like, just like, left, left, right, right. But, like, flip one, skip one. It's very complicated. It's not gonna happen. So whoever sent that in, thank you very much for listening to the podcast, but it's a no.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Thank you.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, here's a few more. All bosses are selected by employee vote.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

No.

[Josh Johnson]

Ooh, that's. That's a beautiful way to lose a company. That's.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Democracy is bad.

[Josh Johnson]

Like, you can't if you. Cause this is the thing. I'm a pretty likable guy. It doesn't mean I'm effective.

[Trevor Noah]

Touche, my friends.

[Josh Johnson]

So it's like, everyone might vote for me to be their boss. They know I won't say no to pto. So now, because I never say no to pto, I'm the only one at work. And then the company is losing hell of money. We're hemorrhaging.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Yeah. What people should vote on is salaries.

[Trevor Noah]

What do you mean?

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

I think there should be radical salary transparency. Like, you know, what everyone makes.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Josh Johnson]

Dads.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

And then like, every year, you know, when it's like promotions and raises, we.

[Trevor Noah]

Vote on other people's salaries. Yeah.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

So.

[Trevor Noah]

Wow.

[Josh Johnson]

Wow, wow, wow, wow.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Mind you, do you know what it means? People will treat each other so well in that office.

[Trevor Noah]

Or Warfare Gang will have many, many true crime documentaries where, like, the cause.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Was according the CEO. You know, like, the CEO's salary is a sign the board approves it. I'm saying if we're going to be voting on anything, it shouldn't be who's the boss.

[Trevor Noah]

It's like you're literally creating murders.

[Josh Johnson]

Class war.

[Trevor Noah]

You are literally. When I find out that Josh voted against my salary boss, why would he.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Unless he shed his vote?

[Trevor Noah]

Let me tell you something. People are getting killed. You have created an office of murderers. I'm gonna vote no as well. Cause I just think it's ridiculous.

[Josh Johnson]

Oh, I'm voting yes, but I know I'm voting.

[Trevor Noah]

You're voting yes?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. Class warfare, baby.

[Trevor Noah]

Man, whoever you are, you brought out Josh the Joker. The worst version of Josh. This is the Josh that, like, if he falls into a vat of acid, we're all screwed. The only thing holding Josh back from this character is that he's still, like, a functioning member of society. So that's two no's and a yes. Yeah, all it's a no. But thank you for listening to the podcast. Next person says, if I ruled the world, I would ban single ply toilet paper.

[Josh Johnson]

Yes. Because it's a lot like a government program where they don't really help you. I would rather have no toilet paper in there than toilet paper I can see through when I look at it in my hand.

[Trevor Noah]

You've clearly only grown up in a first world country. Do you guys know this stuff before toilet paper?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, like, yes.

[Trevor Noah]

I wiped my ass with newspaper for, like, years of my life.

[Josh Johnson]

Newspaper's thicker then one ply.

[Trevor Noah]

Have you ever met the corner of a newspaper that you folded?

[Josh Johnson]

Newspaper? No.

[Trevor Noah]

There's no edges on toilet paper.

[Josh Johnson]

It's sharp, but.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, it's sharp in your butt. Exactly.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

It's thick.

[Trevor Noah]

Sharp in your butt. Exactly. This is a very first world opinion. You would rather have no toilet paper.

[Josh Johnson]

One ply is your hand. I would tell.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

No, it's not.

[Trevor Noah]

I've used my hand. I've used my hand. Have you used your hand?

[Josh Johnson]

I've used my hand while I used one ply.

[Trevor Noah]

First of all, why do people act like you can't fold the toilet paper? What crazy rules are we living in?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, when you. When you try to wrap one ply.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes, I understand.

[Josh Johnson]

You can't make two ply. One plus one still equals one.

[Trevor Noah]

Let me explain something here. One ply is like flying coach at the back of a plane. It is the least good way to do something. But you are still flying in a plane. Everything else is walking or being on, like, a ship.

[Josh Johnson]

The way that my fingers have dropped.

[Trevor Noah]

Josh, have you wiped your ass? Have you wiped your ass before without toilet paper? Intentionally?

[Josh Johnson]

No, not intentionally.

[Trevor Noah]

Intentionally.

[Josh Johnson]

I've had to. Yes, I have had to use intentionally.

[Trevor Noah]

I have. Josh, I have. Let me tell you something. Don't ever wish toilet paper out of your life.

[Josh Johnson]

I'm not saying I wish all the toilet paper out of my life. I'm just saying that one ply is so bad. Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

You'd ban it. But then now there's. Now we have no ply. Okay, I'm ready to vote. Mine is no. Christiana.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

No, but. Cause I think it's good for the planet. Right. I don't know how trees work, but it's less paper, so.

[Trevor Noah]

All right, Josh.

[Josh Johnson]

Yes. Because it's barely real toilet paper.

[Trevor Noah]

All right, well, that's still two no's and one yes. Your if I rule the world was voted down, but thank you very Much for listening to the podcast. We really appreciate you. Thank you so much. We're going to continue this conversation right after this short break. All right, here's another one. If I ruled the world, high schools would start no earlier than 9:00am that's brilliant.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Brilliant. Teenagers need sleep.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

It's cruel.

[Josh Johnson]

That's, like, part of the problem.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

There would be more kids in extracurriculars if some of them weren't at like, 7:00am Extracurriculars? Yeah. So, like, some of the clubs, like, for instance, I did Quiz bowl when I was in high school.

[Trevor Noah]

You did what?

[Josh Johnson]

It's like trivia for high school. I was a virgin.

[Trevor Noah]

So you did what? What is. I just want to know what this is.

[Josh Johnson]

Quiz bowl is like. Okay. It's like imagine Jeopardy. But for everybody. And you go up against other schools.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

And you do Jeopardy. Pretty much. But it's not like the structure of picking off the board. It's like, I'm gonna ask you one of the most random questions you ever heard. You might know the answer, you might not. But your school gets points if you do.

[Trevor Noah]

Could you be like, yo, there's a girl, Tinashe, at our school and she has what on her backpack? Can you ask a question like that?

[Josh Johnson]

It's all Jeopardy type things.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, so it's more general knowledge.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

But it's more specific than general knowledge, which is also.

[Trevor Noah]

And you did this at what time?

[Josh Johnson]

It would be maybe I went there at 7. Who designs your schools?

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

But school starts at like 8. 8:30.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. So it's like.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, no, no. Understand that. We also had it at 8.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

So if you're going to do extracurricular, that's before school.

[Trevor Noah]

Why? Why would you guys have extracurriculars before school?

[Josh Johnson]

Because you want.

[Trevor Noah]

We call them extracurriculars because it was extra. You cannot do extra before, apparently. Imagine going to a restaurant and you're like, could I get an extra side of rice? And they're like, we haven't even served you yet. What are you adding the extra to? The whole point of extracurricular is that you have your curricula. Then this is extra.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

You can't start with it. We're fixing the wrong problem here.

[Josh Johnson]

In your scenario, you would just say, welcome to America because that is what we do.

[Trevor Noah]

But you seem to know that. What's it like in the uk?

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

No, in the UK we have, like, a little bit of socialism. So there you go.

[Trevor Noah]

You hang out in the beginning. Yeah.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

So there was nothing before.

[Trevor Noah]

I Don't know. This is a weird one for me.

[Josh Johnson]

It's also the only way you can.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

I'd actually say start school at 10 and finish at 3. That would be my proposal.

[Trevor Noah]

Start school at 10?

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Finish at 3?

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Yeah, that'd be my proposal.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay. I don't know. So I have. I have a different proposal. I think you should start earlier but do nothing for longer.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

No, but they have to get out of bed. That's the issue. They need to sleep because they need to grow.

[Trevor Noah]

How much sleep?

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

They need 12 to 14 hours.

[Trevor Noah]

12 to 14 hours.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Teenagers. Your brains, your bones. Or like, it's so much insane. They need their brains where they're like, so much sleep.

[Josh Johnson]

That's why we think they're dumb, because they don't sleep enough. And then we try to teach them, and then at least. I'm just talking about in the States. We try to teach them and they're tired. Then we give them a test and then they fail. And then we're like, okay, moving on to the next more difficult subject and.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

They have to go home and study till late. Do their extra extracurriculars.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay. Okay, I'll vote then. I'll vote yes. This seems well considered.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Yeah, that's a good idea. Yes. Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. Whoever you are, congratulations. You have achieved the first yes. If you ruled the world, high schools would start no earlier than 9am this person had an opportunity to rule the world, and they just moved it by, like an hour. I mean, that's responsible use of power, but not very creative. But thank you for listening to the podcast. The next suggestion we got was if I ruled the world, everyone, no matter their job, has to shadow a service employee one day a month. What is a service employee? Okay. Okay. I was making sure.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

No, that's a no for me.

[Trevor Noah]

What do we define by shadow?

[Josh Johnson]

I think shadow means, like, do the job.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

I thought shadow meant just watching someone do the job.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, my shadow's never helped me do anything.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Yeah, you just like, oh, I want to. Haven't you had that as a comedian? Oh, I want to shadow you for a job.

[Trevor Noah]

Comedians don't shadow anybody.

[Josh Johnson]

But the way that I shadowed when I was working at, like, a regular job was to do a mini version of the job.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, Josh, I think you got tricked into free labor.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Yeah, that was.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, I don't think that's shadow.

[Josh Johnson]

So maybe we should.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Unpaid.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, I really think that's unpaid work.

[Josh Johnson]

Maybe we should vote then.

[Trevor Noah]

I think what I think shadowing is literally. You just, like, see how the person does it?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

But what is the purpose of this? I don't get it.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

They want us to gain empathy for, like, service workers, but if anything, watching someone do their job up close, you always have less empathy.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, you're like, that looks easy.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Oh, you'd be like, do that better.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, that's why I gained a respect. Cause then they would hand it to.

[Trevor Noah]

Me, and then you would see how hard it was.

[Josh Johnson]

So I thought shadow meant no. Cause you know how your shadow was attached to you. Like, I thought that you had to be.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

But your shadow doesn't do anything, though. It's attached, but it doesn't do anything.

[Josh Johnson]

No, I see that now.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

I see what probably happened to me.

[Trevor Noah]

I'm ready to vote on this one. Then I say no.

[Josh Johnson]

No.

[Trevor Noah]

Is it no for you, Josh?

[Josh Johnson]

No, I guess not. Now, knowing what the understood shadow is, I'd say no.

[Trevor Noah]

So, no.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah, I thought shadow.

[Trevor Noah]

Thank you so much for submitting, but you will be the only person shadowing somebody at their job. But thank you for listening. All right, our final idea from the people who listen to the show. If I Ruled the world, all toilet stalls should be completely soundproof. We don't need to hear what's going on in there. Okay. This one I'm already gonna tell you is a no for me. That's like the joy of going to a public toilet.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

You like to listen?

[Trevor Noah]

No, I don't like to listen, but that's the joy of it. It's like a horror movie. I don't like horror movies, but if I took out the scary parts, then it wouldn't be a horror movie. A public toilet without the sounds is not a public toilet.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

It's public, guys.

[Trevor Noah]

It would be soundproof. It would be creepy. Imagine going into a public toilet and it's silent.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

I want that.

[Trevor Noah]

No, this is creepy.

[Josh Johnson]

I. Here's the thing. I'm going to vote no with you, but for very different reasons. Like, I feel like I don't love.

[Trevor Noah]

The sounds, and I'd rather not hear you misunderstanding me. No one loves the sounds, but the sounds are part of the experience. I don't want.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

I don't even want to hear the toilet flush.

[Josh Johnson]

I mean, I wish I wasn't in there when I'm in there.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

So you went in.

[Trevor Noah]

That's the point. Yeah, that's the point.

[Josh Johnson]

But the. But the sound, I would say, needs to be left up to the environment, because I went to the bathroom, and there was a guy who fell, right? And we know he fell. Cause he was like, ah, Ah. I fell right inside one of the. In the stall.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay.

[Josh Johnson]

And if it had been soundproof, who knows?

[Trevor Noah]

No one would have helped him. Yeah, you could die in there.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

Have you ever used a public toilet and needed toilet paper and ask somebody to bring it to you? I've done that once. Once in my life. That happened to me back in South Africa, but that happened once, and I was like, ah, man, there's no toilet paper. And then I had to shout out, hey, I need toilet paper. And then someone handed it to me over the stool.

[Josh Johnson]

No, no, I got mine rolled to me.

[Trevor Noah]

They rolled it on the floor?

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

So you wiped your ass with the floor?

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

No, no, no.

[Josh Johnson]

It has more. It's unrolling as it rolls. It travels the way that it.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, so you left the part of it that had.

[Josh Johnson]

Yeah. So basically, I was in a bathroom in a restaurant that was out of toilet paper, and I had to wait until somebody came in. And so then I was like, hey, like, I need help. And the person was like, okay, I got you. Right. And then they left, and they never came back. They didn't have me.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Wow.

[Josh Johnson]

And then someone else eventually came in. I was like, hey, I need some help. I need toilet paper. And they were like, ooh, I got you. Okay. And then they left, and I was worried they wouldn't come back, but when they came back, they had the big old roll. Yeah, that big roll that you install in the thing.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Josh Johnson]

And he bowled it under to me, and it was a real hero move.

[Trevor Noah]

I like this.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

All right, I will say, did you.

[Trevor Noah]

Get to meet the person afterwards? You remember back in the day on that TV show Rescue 911, you'd get to meet the operator who saved your life. So did you get to meet the person? Did you, like, hug them and take a picture afterwards?

[Josh Johnson]

No, because I started thanking him, and then. Cause he knew I was wiping while I was thanking him, and I think that was too much for him.

[Trevor Noah]

All right, so we ready to vote? All toilet stalls should be completely soundproof. Mine is a definite no.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Yeah, I'm changing to a no. Only because in ladies toilet, I don't know if you know this about women, but when I used to club 10 years ago, before my life was over and I had kids, you just. You hear so much gossip.

[Trevor Noah]

You see, it's part of the experience.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Gossip, also known as oral history, you know? So, like, I like when you're on the toilet, you just hear people talking shit. You don't even know the character exactly. But, like, all of that. It helps the camaraderie. That would be the only reason.

[Trevor Noah]

This is yet another thing that'll make people feel isolated. It will make you feel alone. Do you know how nice it is to sit in a stall, go through something physically and know someone next to you is going through the same?

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Well, I like the person that coughs because they're about to drop a load. That always makes me laugh.

[Trevor Noah]

You see, this is what I mean. This is. Now you're understanding what I mean. You were so against me in the beginning and now you get it. The sounds make this what it is. I vote no.

[Josh Johnson]

No.

[Trevor Noah]

Toilet stalls should not be completely soundproof.

[Josh Johnson]

No.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

No.

[Trevor Noah]

Well, there you go. That is a flat out no. We'll be hearing you take a dump, whoever you are. But thank you so much for listening to the podcast. So the only thing that got passed from the public high schools will start no earlier than 9am so we'll see you at 9:01.

[Christiana Mbakwe Medina]

Our listeners are really concerned with toilets and toilet paper. Like, what is going on in the.

[Josh Johnson]

Bowels of, like, it's actually why it's so hard to change the world. Look at all those proposals. It really is only one thing.

[Trevor Noah]

People don't think big enough. Well, there it is. If I rule the World, Listener edition. Thank you, every single one of you, for your wonderful suggestions, even though we shot down almost all of them. But, I mean, that's the nature of the game, right? And guess what? We want to hear much more from you. So we have a what now? Email address. It's whatnowayzeroproductions.com whatnowayzeroproductions dot com get in touch with any comments about the show, suggestions for future topics or your guests, and more of your if I ruled the world ideas. I promise we won't shoot them all down, by the way. So, you know, send us a few. Let's, let's, let's see what happens. Tell us your name and where you're writing from. And better yet, record it as a voice memo and send it along so we can play it on the show once again. That's whatnowayzeroproductions.com has reached the show. We'll be back next week with a full new episode. In the meantime, from everyone on the show, we wish you a happy Thanksgiving. May all your plane boardings be smooth and all your toilet paper be 2 ply. What now with Trevor Noah is produced by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin and Jody Avagan. Our senior producer is Jess Hackl. Claire Slaughter is our producer. Music, mixing and mastering by Hannes Brown. Thank you so much for listening. Join me next Thursday for another episode of what Now.