WORLD CUP Bonus Episode: The Finals

Summary

What Now? with Trevor Noah – WORLD CUP Bonus Episode: The Finals

Release Date: July 21, 2026
Host: Trevor Noah
Guests: Joe, Guest Analyst

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Episode Overview

This special "Boot Room" edition of What Now? with Trevor Noah recaps the thrilling 2026 FIFA World Cup Finals, capturing the energy, strategy, personalities, and shifting narratives of the tournament. Joined by Joe and a lively Guest Analyst, Trevor and his panel reflect on Spain’s victory over Argentina, the role of key players, controversial moments, and the broader state of world football. Mixing deep analysis with humor and sharp takes, they explore what made this World Cup unique and who to watch heading into the next cycle.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reflecting on the World Cup Final (00:00–05:00)

• Spain Crowned Champions: Spain wins the World Cup against Argentina, hailed as "worthy champions."
  • "Spain are the world champions. Worthy champions, deserved champions." — Guest Analyst (00:49)
  • Panelists reminisce about Spain’s World Cup wins whenever Joe attends, tying in personal anecdotes.
• Atmosphere & Tactics:
  • Analysis of Spain's stifling high-pressing game, particularly notable compared to watching the match live versus on TV.
  • Rodri singled out as the most influential player, likened to Sergio Busquets but with greater physicality.
    • "He was a Colossus today. He was everywhere...he gave us Sergio Busquet vibes." — Guest Analyst (02:12)
    • "Grandpa playing in his slippers in his backyard. It wasn’t a World Cup final for him." — Guest Analyst paraphrasing Joe (02:34)
• Spanish Youth Talent:
  • Joy for the 'Baby Goat,' 19-year-old World Cup winner.
  • Debate about Pedri’s tournament and the lineup choices, discussing the value of physicality vs. finesse in midfield.

2. Argentina's Heart and Messi's Emotional Journey (04:14–07:00)

• Argentine Fans' Passion: Vivid description of the stadium’s Argentine-dominated atmosphere, support never waning even after loss.
• Messi's Relationship with the Fans:
  • Reflections on Messi’s tumultuous rapport with Argentina, from previous ostracization to his emotional connection seen as he wept during fan serenades after the match.
    • "To see him cry as they were singing...that emotion. Yes, crying in front of them as they sang. It was beautiful..." — Guest Analyst (06:30)
    • "That’s the stuff that legends are made of." — Guest Analyst (07:00)

3. Notable Personalities & Moments (07:04–10:12)

• Enzo Fernandez: Both praised and ribbed for his famous celebration and controversial statements about the English, as well as his red card in the final.
  • "No, I have a lot of respect for the English. My housekeepers are all English, and I respect them." — (07:57)
  • Discussion about red cards and officiating—debate whether Argentina receives favorable treatment.
• Defensive Heroics: Argentina praised for their dogged defensive performance, described as “throwing everything” and putting their bodies on the line in the finest tradition of legendary Argentine defenders (10:12).
• Contrast with Past Tournaments: Comparisons to Italy’s famous defensive efforts at Euro 2004.

4. Tactical and Team Analyses – Spain’s Dominance (11:19–16:23)

• Spain’s Style:
  • Unique, total-team approach. Wingbacks playing like wingers, possession dominance rooted in Barcelona philosophy.
  • Lack of Real Madrid players in the squad prompts discussion of shifting Spanish football identity.
  • "For a Barcelona fan, this is a victory..." — Guest Analyst (14:57)
• Defense Wins Championships:
  • Emphasis on Spain’s defensive record—just one goal conceded—echoing their 2010 World Cup run.
    • "The amount of clean sheets they got in this World Cup...that’s pretty crazy when you think about it. One goal." — Guest Analyst (16:21)

5. Extended Takes on England (19:53–32:25)

• English Football’s Self-Perception:
  • Brutal critique: England considered a "small footballing country" despite Premier League prominence, with only one World Cup win.
    • "England has as many World Cup final appearances as Uganda since 1966." — Guest Analyst (21:00)
• Premier League Illusions:
  • English fans and media accused of mistaking Premier League quality for national team strength, noting most stars are foreign.
• England's Structural Problems:
  • England’s reluctance to build around creative technicians, preferring “passion and lungs” over finesse—contrast with how Spain, France, and others nurture technical talent.
  • "If I wanted hard workers in my midfield, I would go get Amazon warehouse workers...Football is not cardio." — Guest Analyst (32:28)
  • Reflection on past English talents (Gascoigne, Scholes) being underutilized or unappreciated by national setup.
• The Third Place Debate:
  • Third place match dismissed as largely meaningless, compared to "discussing Rob Kardashian."

6. France — Strengths and Weaknesses (32:49–38:51)

• Team Dynamics & Future:
  • France's struggles against Spain linked to tactical choices: playing too many attacking “passengers” instead of hardworking midfielders.
    • "You can't play against Spain when you're four men down. Why did Argentina succeed? They had one passenger." — Guest Analyst (35:33)
• French Player Mentality:
  • Discussion on players being used to dominating at club level and struggling with work rate demands against equally-matched World Cup opponents.

7. The Next Generation & Looking Forward (38:51–44:43)

• Future National Team Managers: Excitement about Zidane (France), Klopp (Germany), Pirlo (Italy), Tuchel (England).
• Player Futures:
  • Debate on whether Cristiano Ronaldo will feature in another World Cup.
  • "If we're honest, there's only one player who really lost at this World Cup from this crop of names, and it's Ronaldo." — Joe (39:44)
• Ronaldo & Kane Critique:
  • Described as "stat padders" against weaker opposition, expected to deliver more in high-pressure matches.
    • "They have mastered the art of stat-padding against footballing midgets...I see through them." — Guest Analyst (41:12)

8. Awards and Standout Performers – Personal Picks (41:44–44:43)

• Team of the Tournament:
  • Guest Analyst: Spain, Cape Verde; Joe: Cape Verde.
• Player of the Tournament:
  • Both agree on Lionel Messi.
    • "Messi is competing with kids who are supposed to replace him." — Joe (42:23)
• Goalkeeper of the Tournament:
  • Guest Analyst: Unai Simon (Spain) for his sweeping and composure.
  • Joe: Virginia (Cape Verde) for his shot-stopping and leadership at age 40.
• Next World Cup Watchlist:
  • Spain (very young core) and Morocco (emergent generation, home advantage).

9. FIFA & Governance (44:43–46:22)

• Gianni Infantino:
  • Lively skepticism about FIFA’s leader ever being unseated, referencing political mechanisms within FIFA.
    • "Infantino is never leaving. Forget about elections. Infantino is more secure than a tinpot dictator." — Guest Analyst (44:48)
  • Expansion of the World Cup criticized as not entirely altruistic.

10. Friendship and Podcast Community (46:24–49:41)

• Heartfelt Gratitude:
  • Guest Analyst delivers an emotional tribute to Trevor Noah for mentorship, opportunities, and friendship.
    • "Get yourself a friend like Trevor Noah...he brought me to America...helped me win my first Emmy and paid me to watch the World Cup." — Guest Analyst (46:26)
  • Warm closure: the importance of community and camaraderie through football and podcasting.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• "Are you not entertained?" — Gladiatorial reference by Joe and Guest Analyst after Spain’s victory (00:44)
• "Defense wins championships." — Both panelists underscore this enduring football adage (16:09)
• "Two butt cheeks of the same ass." — Guest Analyst’s brutal summation of England’s midfield options (30:57)
• "Infantino is the Spain of FIFA presidents—he's never leaving." — Joe, on FIFA politics (46:00)
• "This man risked demonetizing his channel, and that’s what good friends are for." — Guest Analyst on Trevor (49:15)

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Essential Timestamps

• Opening and Spain Victory Recap: 00:00–03:00
• Spain’s Tactical Masterclass and Key Players: 01:39–03:45
• Messi’s Emotional Arc and Argentina’s Legacy: 04:41–07:00
• Enzo Fernandez Anecdotes & Red Card Debate: 07:04–09:13
• Defensive Performances & Historical Comparisons: 09:58–11:19
• Spain’s System, Defensive Record, and Barcelona DNA: 12:20–16:23
• England’s Self-Image, Media, and Technical Leadership Crisis: 20:04–32:28
• France’s Tactical Issues & How to Beat Spain: 32:49–37:53
• Managers and Future Stars to Watch: 38:20–44:43
• Podcast Team’s Emotional Farewell: 46:24–49:41

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Summary Takeaways

• Spain's disciplined, collective style carried them to a deserved victory, powered by a blend of youthful exuberance and tactical maturity.
• Messi’s evolving relationship with Argentine fans, culminating in an iconic, emotional moment post-final, was a standout narrative.
• England’s footballing challenges stem more from systemic misperceptions and an under-appreciation for technical talent than from lack of effort or passion.
• France’s future is bright but must adapt tactically, especially when facing teams like Spain.
• Ronaldo's and Kane's legacies are critiqued for underperforming in key moments, despite gaudy stats.
• The tournament revealed new stars (Laminal, Pau Kubasi, Cape Verde’s heroics), yet also reinforced enduring truisms—teamwork, defense, and tactical discipline win championships.
• This World Cup marks a generational shift in global football, with Spain, Morocco, and other emerging teams poised for the next cycle.
• The warmth, humor, and camaraderie between Trevor, Joe, and the Guest Analyst reflect the tournament’s power to unite and spark joy—even as they pull no punches in their analysis.

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Transcript

[Trevor Noah]

This episode is brought to you by Febreze. And we're coming to you from the official Febreze sponsored boot room, which, if you know anything about soccer, is usually the last place you want to hang out. This is what now with Trevor Noah. 104 matches, 48 teams, 30 something.

[Joe]

32 maybe knockout games, six weeks, a feast of football. How do you feel right. How do you feel right now? Are you. Are you full or. Or do you wish this was your new life?

[Guest Analyst]

Man, I could always go for seconds. When it comes to football, I could always go for seconds.

[Joe]

This was insane, man.

[Trevor Noah]

First and first.

[Guest Analyst]

Are you not entertained? Yeah.

[Joe]

Are you not entertained? For sure. First and foremost, Spain are the world champions again.

[Guest Analyst]

Spain are the world champions. Worthy champions, deserved champions.

[Joe]

And I don't want to say. I don't want to say it's because of me, but I will say, I will say every time I've been at a final, Spain has won it also.

[Guest Analyst]

They did win their first big major championship.

[Joe]

South Africa.

[Guest Analyst]

No, no, their first major championship, 2008. That jersey, the man you're wearing right now.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, this one.

[Joe]

I'm talking about the World Cup.

[Guest Analyst]

Only he scored the goal that set them on a pass, on a path.

[Trevor Noah]

Like, let's.

[Joe]

Let's talk about it. I mean, first and foremost, the World cup, the final. Like everybody who was watching the game in the stadium on TV said the same thing. Spain was stifling. Argentina, watching it in real time was even more impressive, you know, cuz we were lucky enough to be at the game.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

Seeing how the Spanish team completely pressed every single player on the opposing team. Seeing how they attacked together, Seeing how Rodri, Can I tell you, Rodri, I don't think has won a single man of the match at this tournament.

[Guest Analyst]

No.

[Joe]

And I think it's because the man of the match was voted for by fans. And I think the fans, not that they don't, they didn't know the game. I think because when you're watching the game on tv, you miss out on so much of what's not happening on screen. When you're watching the game live, it's easy to say, Rodri's man of the match.

[Guest Analyst]

He was a Colossas. He was a Colossas today. He was everywhere. If he just kept your eye on him, you could see the whole game. You didn't have to watch the whole game to see him. He gave us Sergio Busquet vibes. He was everywhere.

[Trevor Noah]

But almost like a.

[Guest Analyst]

Like a stronger, stronger, bigger, taller. He's. He's he's quite a unit. But it was like just watching him, how casual he was. We talked about this during. You said.

[Joe]

You said, it's like a grandpa.

[Guest Analyst]

Grandpa playing in his slippers in his backyard. It wasn't a World cup final for him. He was immense. The interceptions he made. Fully deserved. Fully, fully deserved play of the tournament. Fully deserved in my.

[Joe]

Who are you happy for?

[Trevor Noah]

Baby goat or the goat?

[Guest Analyst]

I'm happy for baby goat. Because winning it at 19, winning the world cup, sometimes not winning the World cup can become like some kind of albatross around your neck.

[Joe]

You're not wrong.

[Guest Analyst]

We saw it with Ronaldo.

[Joe]

Yeah. You're not wrong.

[Guest Analyst]

If you win it now, you get it out of the way. Now you can play your international career. You're already a hero. So I was really happy for him.

[Joe]

Of course, all lamin has to do is win a Champions League, which is

[Guest Analyst]

way easier, I would argue, for the

[Joe]

club than winning, because you have a chance every year.

[Guest Analyst]

He already won the European Championship, and he was instrumental in that. Part of me wanted, because there were so many Barcelona boys in that team, in that Spanish team. I wanted Pedri to win. I wanted the lamin of defenders, Pau Kubasi.

[Joe]

But you think Pedri had a good World Cup?

[Guest Analyst]

He had a good World Cup. He didn't have the World cup he expected. Pedri expects to always be a starter, but he was unseated by Fabian Luiz. I thought, Fabian Luiz. And I can get why. And I can get why he took over. Fabian Luiz is a lot taller. He's a lot bigger. And I think Luis de La.

[Joe]

He's also a lot more progressive in this tournament, at least.

[Guest Analyst]

But he was very imprecise. That's the thing. He was progressive, but he was very, very imprecise. And I think when Pedri came on, you saw how Spain now took an even bigger, stronger hold on the game, because it's all about control. But Fabian Luiz gives you something that Pedri doesn't give you, which is physicality in the middle. So I get why he wanted him there. But Pau Kubasi, winning young player of the tournament, he was a colossus in defense. He was incredible in defense. Man, it was.

[Joe]

It was so wild as well, like being there in the stadium. Because like the Argentine fans, they don't

[Guest Analyst]

know when they're beaten.

[Joe]

Yo.

[Guest Analyst]

They don't know when they're beaten.

[Joe]

The whole stadium was Argentina. Like I'm talking from the first minutes,

[Guest Analyst]

it felt like you were watching the Game at La Bombonella, Yo.

[Joe]

Until the handing of the trophy, they were still singing. They were still.

[Guest Analyst]

Even during the hanging.

[Joe]

Yeah, they were. It's like you couldn't tell if they'd won or lost.

[Guest Analyst]

I'll say this.

[Joe]

And watching them with Messi stand in front of them, did it feel like

[Trevor Noah]

a farewell to you?

[Joe]

Do you think Messi is gone?

[Guest Analyst]

No, I don't think he is. I think they steal a last nurse in him. I watched him. So the funny thing about that image is I never thought in a hundred years, I never thought Messi would reach that kind of status with these Argentine fans. They were banning his jazzes and banning his effigies just 10 years ago when they forced him into retirement, when they

[Joe]

used to call him when they were

[Guest Analyst]

playing the Catalan, when they went like, you don't feel the way Maradona used to feel. Because remember, the reason Maradona is so adored in Argentina is he tagged on the emotional chords of the fans. Maradona was literally a fan playing the game. That's what he was. He wasn't a soccer player. He was a fan who just happened to be gifted enough that he could play the game.

[Joe]

Do you remember, actually, do you remember, have you seen that video where Pele is talking to Maradona? They're at some event and they're outdoors, and they don't realize that their microphones are on or they're hot and there's like a ceremony happening around them, and. And then they start talking, and then Pele says to Maradona, he says. He's like, hey, have you met this guy Messi? Messi, have you met him? And then Maradona's like, yeah, I've met him before. Pele's like, he's really good, but I've never met him. Then Maradon's like, yeah, he's phenomenal. Then he goes, yeah, what's he like? Then Maradona goes, look, he's. He's. He's really, really talented. He's like. But he has zero personality.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

He's like, he'll never be great because he has no personality. He doesn't make the fans feel anything. Doesn't make him feel anything.

[Guest Analyst]

Argentine's a very, very passionate people. They're very fiercely emotional people. And so Maradona, even with the things he used to do, the way he used to talk to the opponents, the way he used to talk to the referees, you could go like, oh, that's what I would do as a fan. Just that most fans are not Gifted enough to be on the pitch. And so Messi, for the longest time, part of the reason why they accused him of being Catalan is they said you don't feel. Remember, he never played in the Argentine league before he came to Barcelona, which is rare. Yeah. So he never had that bond with the fans. And so to see him cry as they were singing and like, they were chanting at Serenade, he just. That emotion. Yes, Crying. Crying in front of them as they sang. It was beautiful. It was beautiful, Trevor, to see, you know, because nobody in the world, nobody in any story, drama, otherwise you want to see that redemption arc. And to see them serenading him for 15 minutes straight.

[Joe]

Yeah, it was 15 minutes.

[Guest Analyst]

Stood in front of them crying. I wonder. God, that's the stuff that legends are made of.

[Joe]

You know who's also a legend?

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

Enzo Fernandez.

[Trevor Noah]

Let me tell you why Enzo Fernandez

[Joe]

is a legend, bruh. He's a legend because he celebrates his goal. Like, remember, he's got that famous celebration, cups his ears. Then he does the thing. Cups his ears, does the thing, does the thing standing there. So now it's a great meme. Like, everyone's got that meme. Right then. Did you also see that press conference that he gave? Okay, so. Because he, he put out, he had, like, a post on his social media where he played Wonderwall.

[Guest Analyst]

Oh, okay.

[Joe]

And, like, laughing faces, little laughing emojis and everything. So then they asked him in one interview, they're like, yo, bro, why are you insulting England? You live there and you play football there.

[Guest Analyst]

You get paid.

[Joe]

Aren't you worried about it? And then he was like, no, no, no. And he says this in Spanish. He's like, no. You know, I think people might be a little confused. I didn't want to insult anybody in England.

[Trevor Noah]

He's like, I have a lot of

[Joe]

respect for the English.

[Guest Analyst]

I.

[Joe]

He's like, you know, my housekeepers are all English, and I respect them.

[Trevor Noah]

I respect them.

[Guest Analyst]

I was like, yo, bro, my friends are all black. What a crazy them. Yes.

[Joe]

What a crazy statement that you think will get you out of is to be like, no, I, I, I have a lot of love for these people. A lot of them, like, are my housekeepers.

[Guest Analyst]

I pay them minimum wage.

[Trevor Noah]

You know what I mean?

[Guest Analyst]

Yes. No, I'll say this.

[Joe]

And then, and then he goes and he gets a red card in the World Cup.

[Guest Analyst]

I think, I think, I think both red, both yellow cards were silly. I think the first one, you can't get a yellow card for descent in a World cup final, especially against a Team as good as.

[Joe]

Yeah, but this. Can I tell you why?

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

Because Argentina was used to not getting cards.

[Guest Analyst]

No, no, no, no. I'm telling you, he genuinely thought he was. He was fouled. He genuinely thought he was fouled.

[Joe]

But it doesn't matter, Joe, What I'm saying is this, this is what happens.

[Guest Analyst]

Players talk back every time.

[Joe]

Nah, man, let me tell you something.

[Guest Analyst]

Let's talk back.

[Joe]

If they felt like they couldn't do it, they wouldn't do it. But he felt, he felt emboldened. And then he met a ref who was like, oh, here's a card.

[Guest Analyst]

I disagree with the whole premise of Argentina being favored. I disagree. Watched all the games. There's no decision where you could go, like, oh, there they favored them.

[Trevor Noah]

What?

[Guest Analyst]

No, there were so many. Are you crazy? Yes, people were.

[Joe]

I'm glad that you said yes when I said.

[Trevor Noah]

Are you?

[Guest Analyst]

No, no. People were cherry picking. I'll say this, I'll say this. The second yellow was even serer than the first one. When you're in a yellow, you can't go diving in. You can't go diving in.

[Joe]

But you know why? It's because he forgot that he was only yellow.

[Guest Analyst]

No, no, no, no. Cuz remember Agena had to take off Lisandro Martinez cuz he was in a yellow. Cuz they know against a team like Spain, at some point you're going to have to tactically foul. You can't do that when you're in a yellow. So they took off Licha, who was one of their best defenders, and now he goes and does that. Now he's left them with 10 men. Messi doesn't press, Messi doesn't track back. Now you've left us essentially with nine men. Guys, you can't.

[Joe]

But even if you have 10 men, 10 men against Spain, you're going to

[Guest Analyst]

work, guys, forget work.

[Joe]

It's finished, man.

[Guest Analyst]

No, no, but I'll say, I'll say they gave a better account.

[Joe]

Can you think of a team that can play Spain with 10 men on the field?

[Guest Analyst]

Yes, Argentina. It's the only team. Because I'll tell you one thing, they gave a better account of themselves than

[Joe]

France with 11 men against Spain. Yes, yeah, that's true.

[Guest Analyst]

They gave a better count. And the thing is, when I started out and if you watch the live stream, I end up being very pro agent at the end because I love a good defensive performance. I haven't seen like teams defend like that.

[Joe]

They were immense. They were immense.

[Guest Analyst]

In 2004, Euro 2004, when they defended like that. Alessandro Nesta, Fabio Canavaro, Maldini. Francesco told against the Netherlands at home. Netherlands missed two penalties. Italians were reduced to 10 men. They defended like their lives depended on it. Took it to penalties. Francesco Toldo stood up tall. They advanced to the finals. Now I'll say this. I love a good defensive performance. I love a good attacking performance. But I love when the defense goes like today. We are throwing everything. We're putting our bodies on the line. And I felt agenda did that. I feel like Alberto Passarella, the famous defender from 78, if he was watching, he must have been impressed. They gave it everything. It was a good way to lose. You give a battling performance, Argentines.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Except when they started punching people after the game.

[Guest Analyst]

Yeah. I don't know why they did that, because for me, I felt like they were gallant losers.

[Joe]

They were gallant. And then like at the end it just turned into a brawl.

[Guest Analyst]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Because like it was a full on brawl.

[Guest Analyst]

Because Argentines are also sometimes sore losers. But the thing is, they give a better. If you see what Spain did to

[Joe]

France, I mean, if you go out

[Guest Analyst]

like that, that's disappointing. Today they gave a battling performance. They were looking. They were waiting for that one moment. And they almost got it at the end.

[Joe]

They almost got it at the end. Yeah.

[Guest Analyst]

Yeah. So that's the only way you can beat this Spain. You can't try to fight them man for man. No one can play soccer like them. You can't try to fight territory by territory. No one can control territory like them. You can't try to fight them position by position. They are filled with Barcelona players. And then they add in people like Claudri. You said something about their wing backs. Their wing backs play like wingers.

[Joe]

Yeah, they do.

[Guest Analyst]

Everyone is comfortable on the ball. You can't go toe to toe with them, which is what France tried to do. And they learned a very painful lesson.

[Joe]

I don't even think France went toe to toe with them. I think France made the mistake of thinking they were equals. That they. No, that they didn't need to play as a team.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

Right.

[Joe]

Because with Spain, the left back and the right back are as important in the attack as the left wing and the right wing are in defense. But with France, the attackers do the attack, the defenders do the defend. You know, an example of, you know, this is something. It's going to be interesting to see how Zinedine Zidane takes over the French team, because you even saw it in the England game. I know it was a third place Game. And I know people are saying the game doesn't count, but I think it started counting towards the end.

[Guest Analyst]

Yeah. Yeah, it did.

[Joe]

And if you look at that game, look at. Look at the moments where England was coming forward, what is one of the main things they had. They had one of their defenders leading the attack. Jed Spence.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

Right.

[Joe]

But what is the thing that France never had a defender leading their attack.

[Guest Analyst]

Right, you're right.

[Joe]

Yes. That extra man overlapping or giving you, like, the little under the undercuts.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Joe]

It makes such a world of difference in a world where everyone's man on man, one on one, doing. Because then you don't. You just don't have an extra person. Yes.

[Guest Analyst]

You know?

[Trevor Noah]

Do you get what I'm saying?

[Guest Analyst]

Yes. The thing I'm saying about. So for me, the. That impressed me most, and again, people might not understand it is if you're a student and a historian of the game, you know that Argentines love battling defenders. Let it be Roberto Ayala. Let it be Censini. Let it be Alberto Passarella. Let it be Oscar Ruggieri. They love defenders who give their all. And so if I was an Argentine watching that, I would go like. They fought for the shot.

[Joe]

They did.

[Guest Analyst]

Sweat, blood, tears. They fought for the shot. They didn't wilt. I've seen teams. I'm a Barcelona fan. I've seen teams. Barcelona. How many times we get a red card.

[Joe]

Yeah, yeah.

[Guest Analyst]

And we wilt and wither and then we lose the game that we should have won.

[Joe]

But it's also kids. You also got to be fair, though. This Barcelona team has been like, it's kids versus, like, this. This felt like a team of men.

[Guest Analyst]

Men. Yeah, of men.

[Joe]

And it did feel like the last of men, because we won't see them again. What will be interesting is. Is gonna see. Is seeing what's gonna happen now to England going forward.

[Guest Analyst]

Before we talk about England, let me say something about Spain. Super quick. As a Barcelona fan, I loved this. I loved this because it had so much, like, in common. So many parallels with 2010. 2010. A Barcelona midfielder Andres Iniesta scores the only goal to give Spain their first World cup in South Africa in extra time against the Dutch.

[Joe]

It was 1 nil as well, right?

[Guest Analyst]

It was 1 nil as well. Today, what happens, A Barcelona striker, much maligned by Barcelona fans like me, and Spain in general, scores the only goal in extra time to give Spain that extra look when they named this team.

[Joe]

So they have two now.

[Guest Analyst]

They have two now.

[Joe]

Argentina has two Agenda has three. Oh, yeah, three.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

Messi's third one. Yeah, yeah.

[Guest Analyst]

So when then, when Luis de Fuente, who is another much maligned manager, he didn't come in with the best credentials. And actually from the longest time Porto Spain was winning despite him, not because of him. Despite him or in spite of him. So today there's nothing can say to him. He has the Euros, he has the World Cup. But. But he named a Spanish team without a Real Madrid player. Now there was only one Real Madrid player technically because of, because of Cucurera who was moved from Chelsea.

[Joe]

But let's also look, this is a

[Guest Analyst]

Barcelona victory for a Barcelona fan. This is a Barcelona.

[Joe]

Yeah, but also, if we're going to be fair, how many Spanish players are in the Real Madrid team?

[Guest Analyst]

Yeah, no, no, fair enough, but to

[Joe]

say there's no Real Madrid players.

[Guest Analyst]

No, but remember.

[Joe]

No, no, no, but wait, wait, wait. Yes, let's go through the Real Madrid lineup.

[Guest Analyst]

Deanhausen was supposed to make the team. Carreras was supposed to make the team. Some people thought that Raul Asensio should make the team. Some people thought that Gonzalo Garcia.

[Joe]

Wait, doesn't care. Oh, Carererres.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes, Carreras. Oh, I'm thinking of.

[Joe]

Yeah, okay. Okay, go.

[Guest Analyst]

So there were a number of players who they thought, who Madrid fans thought should make the team. They didn't.

[Joe]

Above the players they had though.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes, this Madrid fans, actually. Okay, Madrid fans. I feel many Madrid fans were waiting for this. When they drew against Capabad, many Madrid fans were like, that's what, that's why you. Yeah, that's what you get for bringing Barcelona.

[Joe]

But yo, man, it's it, you know,

[Guest Analyst]

so this is for me as a Persona fan, this is a victory that for me people always has to build around.

[Joe]

People say it over and over and over again and every single tournament you think it's not going to be true. I mean, I know I fall victim to this, man. I fall in love with the attacking flash. I fall in love with like the, the prowess up top. I fall in love, man. Defense wins championships. Defense wins.

[Guest Analyst]

It's a cliche. It's a cliche.

[Joe]

But Spain barely scored goals in this World Cup. I know they had one big game. Was it like five? One?

[Guest Analyst]

Yeah, that was Saudi Arabia. Doesn't count, you know what I mean?

[Joe]

But like they barely scored games, so

[Guest Analyst]

they won in 2010.

[Joe]

But the amount of clean sheets they got in this World Cup.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes, they considered one goal. Chicateria of Belgium, they head against Copas. That's pretty crazy when you think about it. One goal. That's what they did in South Africa as well. And for me, that's why I'm so. That's why I'm crediting the Argentine defense so much, because there's that thing called gara. The Argentines call it gara claw. Claw. Where you claw your way. You know, where you're beaten, but you claw your way back. And they showed you today, Spain. Normally, teams like Spain, who are very pretty and they wear pretty patterns, are always very. They have a soft underbelly. Barcelona has a soft underbelly because they know how to play pretty football. But when the pressure is on.

[Joe]

No, but I. You know what it is, though? There are. There are some countries where they're lucky. We. We basically get to glimpse into an alternate universe.

[Guest Analyst]

Okay?

[Joe]

So for me, what I love about the World cup, for certain countries, like Spain, Argentina, etc, with Spain, we get to see what would Atletico Madrid be like with Messi.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes, yes.

[Joe]

Right.

[Guest Analyst]

With Argentina.

[Joe]

Yes. Sorry, what would.

[Guest Analyst]

Yeah, yes.

[Joe]

No, no. What would Atletico Madrid be like with Messi? With Messi.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

When we watch Argentina. Okay. And then with.

[Guest Analyst]

That was a typical Diego Simeone performance.

[Trevor Noah]

Right.

[Joe]

And then with Spain, we get to go. What would Barcelona be like if they had Rodri?

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

Like, it feels like that's the one thing Barcelona is missing now is a Busquets type.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Joe]

And you get to see it. You're like, oh, yeah, this would make a big difference for them.

[Guest Analyst]

We have a kid coming. Marc Banar.

[Joe]

Oh, yeah, you've talked about him.

[Guest Analyst]

For Banaras. England.

[Joe]

Joe, let's talk about England, bro.

[Trevor Noah]

We're going to continue this conversation right

[Joe]

after this short break.

[Trevor Noah]

We're coming to you from a boot room sponsored by Febreze, which, if you know anything about soccer, is usually the last place you'd want to hang out, because this is where all the gear lives. The cleats, the jerseys, the socks, the bags, everything that probably never sees a washing machine until it's too late, but right now, it actually smells fresh in here. That's because Febreze fabric is built for exactly this kind of odor. The stuff trapped in fabrics that you can't just throw in the wash. It doesn't just cover it up. It actually fights the odor. And I have to say, this is one of the more confident sponsorships I've ever seen. Usually brands want to put their names on the nicest room in the building. The VIP lounge, the luxury suite, the hospitality area. Fabrize looked at the boot room and said, no, no, no, put us in there. And honestly, I respect that. Because this room contains decades of bad decisions. Wet cleats, forgotten gym bags, socks that should have retired years ago. The kind of smells that don't just enter a room. They sign a long term lease. And yet somehow it smells fresh. Yeah. Can you smell that, Joe?

[Guest Analyst]

Smell what?

[Trevor Noah]

Exactly. That's what is so impressive about this. Because a lot of the things in here are exactly the things that you can't throw in the wash. None of it. The cleats, the bag, the car seat after practice. That's the whole point. Febreze fabric is for the things the game touches that the washing machine can't. And it's made with no dyes, no formaldehydes, and uses a 100% natural nitrogen propellant. If your soccer gear is starting to smell like its own locker room, it's time for Febreze fabric. It doesn't just mask the odors, it fights them.

[Guest Analyst]

Ah.

[Trevor Noah]

Find Febreze fabric at Walmart.

[Guest Analyst]

England. I don't think there's too much.

[Joe]

England.

[Guest Analyst]

English fans, please look away. This is going to be very brutal. Please look away. Don't just. Yeah, you know, trigger warning. Look away. I'll say this about England.

[Joe]

Six goals against France, Joe.

[Guest Analyst]

I'll say this about England. England has one problem, and there's only one way they're going to fix it. England is a small footballing country. England is a football major. And the sooner they accept that. Remember what they say in Alcoholics Anonymous. Acceptance is the first step. England has won One World Cup, 1966. Ever since then, they haven't made a single World cup final agenda. Has been to six. Germany has been, I think, to six. England thinks they are the same level as Germany and Argentina. They are not. They are at the same level as Diara Congo. Malawi. Senegal is a bit higher. England has to look in the mirror, Trevor. England has to take it. Yo.

[Trevor Noah]

What an outlandish claim.

[Guest Analyst]

I'll tell you. No, no. Okay, okay. You think it's outlandish. England has one World cup more than Uganda. And England has as many World cup final appearances as Uganda since 1966.

[Trevor Noah]

That is a. That's a crazy way to win an argument. I would rather. I'd rather say it.

[Joe]

This here's. Okay, here's.

[Trevor Noah]

I.

[Guest Analyst]

How would you put it when you.

[Joe]

If you're not a troll?

[Guest Analyst]

Okay, I'm not trolling.

[Joe]

No.

[Guest Analyst]

I'm stating facts.

[Trevor Noah]

I'm not saying you're trolling.

[Joe]

I'm just saying you're a troll.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

So if you're not a troll. Okay, If I was to give an honest assessment of England, this is what I would say. I think sometimes the English, the fans of the team, yes, they are confused by the quality of the Premier League and they think that that quality will immediately translate to the national team forgetting. Forgetting that a lot of the highest quality in the Premier League doesn't come from the English players. Now, I'm not saying the English players are not great in the Premier League, but I'm saying if we look at the standouts every single season. Mohamed Salah, who I said Rodri Moham, Rodri like the champions. Kevin De Bruyne just go through like the champions over the past years. Bruno Fernandez, you know what I mean? Not even a champion. But like if we look at like top goal scorers, top assist. Erling Haaland.

[Guest Analyst]

But I said this, I said this in our preview podcast. I remember when I said England has never produced the greatest player. Do, do you realize, produce good players

[Joe]

until this third place. Realize until this third place game, no Premier League player had scored.

[Guest Analyst]

England had never reached England. This was England's highest performance.

[Joe]

Yeah, but I'm saying, do you also understand that no Premier League player had scored? But now the drama, I don't know if you've seen the drama. It's getting spicy. So if you, if you've seen on Instagram and if you saw after the Inter. After the match. So Bukayo Saka gets a hat trick, Right? Shows like Bukayo Sakaness.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Guest Analyst]

Start padding in a meaningless game. The team wasn't padding.

[Joe]

Do you think it's a meaningless game?

[Guest Analyst]

It's a meaningless game. It was played at walking pace. I've seen games on a Tuesday night pick up that have far more intensity than that. It was a meaningless game.

[Joe]

The last, the last 20 minutes weren't meaningless. Yeah, but the last 20 minutes were real.

[Guest Analyst]

Look, I feel like the fans should have been refunded their money.

[Joe]

I think the fans got more value at that game than all the other games they've watched.

[Guest Analyst]

You see today's game? Today's game was intense yesterday.

[Trevor Noah]

Nah, brah.

[Guest Analyst]

Trevor, I'll say this. Let me first say this.

[Joe]

No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is what I'm saying. You're not wrong. If we're going to talk of it and talk about it in like an academic. Is England a great footballing as an academic footballing exercise? It was not great football. No one was committing.

[Guest Analyst]

I don't know. I don't want to Talk about the third place. No one was pressing have time. It's like this is like discussing Rob Kardashian. No, I'd rather talk about Kim Kardashian and the rest. I'm not going to talk about a third place playoff. I don't have time. Trevor, let's talk about England. I want to diagnose England because I want to help England become a better footballing nation. England has to admit they are not on the same level as Argentina, Germany, France, Spain. They're not, but I think they know that. No, they don't. And you blame the fans. I don't blame the fans. I blame.

[Joe]

No, I'm not saying the fans. I'm not saying the fans.

[Guest Analyst]

I blame the media. So the English media is very good at bigging up English players and then the English fans and the English players drink the kool aid and they come in thinking if England came into the World cup with the same expectations as Malawi, as Curacao, they would always overperform. But when you come in thinking you're Argentina, you always feel you underperformed. So here's the problem with England and I'm not hating guys. I know some people say you're hating on England. I love England, guys. They gave me Shakespeare, they gave me the Beatles, they gave me Harry Potter, they gave me the office. They gave us Mr. Bean. I love England. Our best friend Lawrence is English. One of the best stand up dudes you'll ever see. Trevor. I went to perform in England. Best comedy audiences by a country mile. I love England. Here's the problem with England. England. First of all, my beef with England is simple. England deprioritizes players who make other countries win. A player like Pedri would never ever shine in England. Yeah, a player like Vitinia would never shine. A player like Messi, he's too small.

[Joe]

I mean. No, but I mean people are saying that about Kobbie Mainoo. They're saying how on earth did Kobe Mainoo not play Even, even in this, in this World cup they're saying why didn't Saka play more?

[Guest Analyst]

So. So forget Saka, forget Kobe, Mainu, England for the longest time. If you've watched international football, you can go back as far back as the days of Glen Hoddo. You can go as far back as the days of Chris Wardo. You can go back. Back as recently as post calls. England doesn't like gifted technicians. You can look at Mezut Ozil, the way the media treated him. They think they are lazy. What England Wants is passion and lungs. Declan Rice, Elliot Anderson, those players will never win a championship because when it comes, when they meet great technicians, they always disappear. So England has never treated. The last time England actually built around a great technician was Paul Gascoigne. And when Paul Gascoigne was playing for England, that's when England dared to dream. If you watch Euro 96, when he scored that goal against Scotland, beautiful football by England. Gaza, that's majestic. I still remember the commentary. It's almost like Cipio Shabala's commentary. He got the ball. Long hoof forward as always by England. Teddy Sheringham brought it down, passed it to Darren Anderton. Darren Anderton saw Gascoigne charging towards the Scottish box, passed it to him. Gascoigne looped it over the defender and hit it before it hit the ground. That's technique. England should build around players like that. Instead, what does England do? England treats them with suspicion or treats them as lepers. They throw them out of the team. Look at post calls. Post calls. You sent me something that was very interesting where post calls said, even when we used to win, we never felt.

[Joe]

We never felt like we were in control.

[Guest Analyst]

And remember, my response to you was post cause is so close to the answer. He's actually the closest to the answer, but his Englishness can't make him see it. If England had built around post calls instead of Gerrard and Steven, Gerrard and Lampard. Post calls was idolized by Barcelona players. Xavi had his posters, Iniesta had posters. Zidane said the one player he wanted to play with was Post Coles.

[Joe]

But here's my issue, though. Here's my issue. Aren't you basically just saying that every team should try and be Spain because. No, no, no.

[Guest Analyst]

Wait, wait.

[Joe]

Because. Because when France won the World cup, they didn't play that way.

[Guest Analyst]

They built around Zidane. A technician. A great technician.

[Joe]

No, no. In Mbappe's World cup, in Bape's, they had.

[Guest Analyst]

Griezmann was a great technician. He wouldn't play in England. He would be considered too small. He'd be considered like. Oh, people would bully him. So the thing is, post calls. If you grew up in France, if he grew up in Joko, I'll give you Jokol. He's not the best player. If Jokol grew up in Spain or grew up in France or Italy or Germany, look at Musiala. They would build around such a player. But England likes bullies. England likes power. Peace and power.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Guest Analyst]

And so the last player they put around was Gaza before that. Glen Hod was thrown to the side. Chris Ward.

[Joe]

Okay, wait. So who would you build around now then? Let's look at the team now.

[Guest Analyst]

I'll build around Cole Palmer. Great technician. I'll build around.

[Trevor Noah]

Consistent.

[Guest Analyst]

He had an injury pledge.

[Joe]

No, no, I'm just asking. I'm just asking questions. I'm not saying. I'm just asking questions.

[Guest Analyst]

I'll build the team around him. I would build the team. I'd rather build. Phil Foden hasn't delivered for England, but if they built the team around him, Phil Foden would play in Spain. He's a great technician, great in tight spaces. But England likes Elliot Anderson and Declan Rice. Now, it's not Declan Rice's fault that he has a horrible first touch. He can't turn. It's not Elliott Anderson's fault that he treats any ball as an unpinned grenade. He just kicks it away. This is not their fault. If Declan Rice and Elliott Anderson win grew up in Spain, they'll be stacking shows. They wouldn't be on the football pitch. Football is about technique. Football is about how you do. You see Olmo today?

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Guest Analyst]

He was receive the ball on behalf of spaces. England doesn't have player.

[Joe]

Today's whole game was tight.

[Guest Analyst]

It was incredible.

[Joe]

Like, it was tight in terms of, like, where the player received the ball and where they moved from there.

[Guest Analyst]

Space is at a premium. Premium. How can you turn Jude Benningam, for me is the one player in England who, as I said last week, takes out his balls, slaps them on the table. Is he a technician? No, he's not. He's not Pedri. He's not. He's even. No, Gavi. Spain is overflowing with technicians. You saw today. They take off Rodri. They bring on Zubime. Yeah.

[Joe]

No, the whole team.

[Guest Analyst]

They take off Fabian Luiz, they bring on Pedri. People, when England was under pressure against Argentina, remember what I kept telling you? They kept hoofing the ball away.

[Joe]

Yeah, they did.

[Guest Analyst]

When they needed someone.

[Joe]

Did you see the difference today?

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

Difference. Today Spain is up. Ball goes to Argentina. What did the Spanish do? They went to them.

[Guest Analyst]

They didn't. Man.

[Joe]

That was. That's all I'm saying. I was looking for from the English team. Don't retreat into your box when the ball is in the other team's half. And now you go wait for them. Because here's a few things that you do without realizing it. I know it seems safer, but first of all, you allow Them to think because they get to look up, they get to scan the field, they get to like assess the situation when a man is on you. And that's why I'm not good at football. I know when you, when you're on me, I have to just think about the ball.

[Guest Analyst]

You've seen, when I play, it doesn't matter if three guys on me just. I tell you, no, these are shots. Pass me the ball. Yeah. These are non existent because I know I can control the ball.

[Trevor Noah]

It makes a big difference.

[Guest Analyst]

They can't go through. So the thing, the thing, it makes a huge difference.

[Trevor Noah]

No, so what I'm.

[Joe]

So what I'm saying, though, about the English team is I go, when you looked at this team that played France, I know you don't count it, but did you see anything in this team from any of the players where you'd go, actually there's something there?

[Guest Analyst]

It was a meaningless game. So. Which means English players will turn up. Declan Rice was incredible in that game because it was meaningless. English players always disappear, be it Hurricane, be it Declan Rice, they disappear in high pressure games because they simply don't have the technique to take them through. I'll tell you this. And again, we're going to go like, Joe, you're being harsh. How much money did Declayan rice cost? $130 million. Right? How much money did Elliot Anderson costs? $150 million. For me.

[Joe]

And now they're saying, for me, listen. And now they're saying, Morgan Rogers also,

[Guest Analyst]

like, he's a winger. He's not like, he's like a 10 sometimes. I don't mind him. I'm saying, for me, when I look at Elliott Anderson and Declan Rice, they are two bat chicks of the same ass.

[Joe]

Two butt cheeks, chicks of the same ass.

[Guest Analyst]

I can control the ball better than them under pressure. My goodness, two bad cheeks of the same ass.

[Trevor Noah]

I don't.

[Joe]

I don't know what's worse.

[Guest Analyst]

So much money.

[Joe]

I don't know what's worse.

[Guest Analyst]

They cost so much money. Trevor. Now I'll tell you this again.

[Joe]

To the butt cheeks of the same art.

[Guest Analyst]

Trevor, I'm going to take you back to the 50s. Why did England win the World cup in 1966? England won the World cup in 1966 because in 1950, England thought they were the best team in the 1950s. Then they met that Hungarian team, the Magical Magaz, led by Frank Puskas, and they taught them a footballing lesson. England was still playing 4, 4, 2. These guys were playing 3, 5, 2. They taught them a footballing lesson. A footballing lesson. So painful. England went back to the drawing board and went like, we need to modernize our game. Now the problem with England these days is they come to World cup or they come to a European Championship and perform or perform to their talents. And instead of having a long hard look in the mirror, instead of asking themselves questions, you know what happens? Because the media has been bigging up the players. The media can't go like, no, the players are mediocre. What do they do? They look for scapegoats and the blame game starts. And then it's like a vicious cycle. Every time England thinks they're better than they are, underperform blame game starts. They never take a hard look in the mirror and go, what do we need to change? We need to change our footballing culture. We can't build around players who are strong. Football is not about hard work.

[Joe]

Look, can I tell you, Trevor, if

[Guest Analyst]

I wanted hard workers in my midfield, I would go get Amazon warehouse workers. I would go get Kenya marathon runners. I'll go get a cardiologist. Football is not cardio football. The ball should always move faster than you. That's what Pedri does. Pedro is not that fast. Rodri's not that fast. Oh, but good luck getting the ball from him. And England lacks that kind of player. Who can.

[Joe]

What does France lack right now? Because I don't know if you saw the post game interview that Adrien Rabiot gave.

[Guest Analyst]

Okay.

[Joe]

I don't know if you should.

[Guest Analyst]

He shouldn't be playing for France for starters. He's not gifted enough.

[Joe]

Yo, man, it's sparked a lot.

[Guest Analyst]

He's not gifted enough.

[Joe]

Can I tell you, it has sparked a lot of controversy because like, from what I've been seeing online, French fans are torn. Some are saying like, Rabio should be the last one to speak.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

Other people are saying, yes, he's calling out something that was terrible because they're

[Guest Analyst]

saying even though people out, I'm. I'm.

[Joe]

So he said that he had never seen something so disgusting. And people are saying. Cuz he didn't, you know, he didn't call people out specifically, but he was. People are saying he was commenting on what Cherky did during the match. Okay, so during the first hydration break, incredible technician Shaki. But during the first hydration break, D Day, Deschamps comes to him and says basically something to the effect of move the ball along faster. That's all like move it along. And Turkey basically like dismisses him and just Walks away, carries on doing what

[Trevor Noah]

he wants to do.

[Guest Analyst]

This is last day on the job. I wouldn't listen to my, to my boss if he's heading out of the job.

[Joe]

Yeah, but still. And then Deschamps was like, it might be my last day, but you forget I've still got one more half. So he took turkey off and then turkey goes and like lounges like it's a picnic. Very Cherokee, I'm not going to lie. Lounges like it's a picnic on the bench. And then France turned it around. You saw Didier Deshamp, like the real French team, they start getting goals back, they start playing, it becomes something different. But now people are asking, it's like, it's interesting. The question people are asking is, does France also need to think about what it is trying to build towards versus just having the right talent to do something?

[Guest Analyst]

No, I think France has a good team. They're just unlucky that they have a boogie team as well.

[Joe]

What do you mean?

[Guest Analyst]

They have. Spain is their boogie team. France can beat every team in the world, I feel, except Spain, apart from Spain. Because Spain's style is totally at all.

[Joe]

So you wouldn't change anything for France.

[Guest Analyst]

Here's what I would have done. And France can't do this because it's not their style. If I was facing Spain, I wouldn't have played all four attackers because then you have passengers. So Ole is a passenger. Do a Bacola passengers. Dembele is a passenger. Mbappe is a passenger. What you need against Spain is you need hard working players like we saw today. Like we saw with Cape Vad. You need poor going to work hard to chase the ball. Mbappe due Bakola. Sorry Dembele, they can't chase the ball. So what he should have done, he should have played the midfield of Kone Kante and maybe Rabiot and Tchouameni and then just had Dembele and Mbappe for as outlets. Yes. So that every time you get the ball you hit those basemen. That's what he should have done. Cuz then you'd have two passengers instead of having four. You can't play against Spain when you four men down. Why did Argentina succeed? They had one passenger.

[Joe]

Messi.

[Guest Analyst]

Messi. Even when they went down to 10 men, they still, they still held on to that game cuz they were working hard. Yeah, yeah.

[Joe]

You saw Messi on the field, would just stand by himself waiting for the game to develop and come to him and then the team would play for him.

[Guest Analyst]

That's the only way to beat Spain. So I didn't rather.

[Joe]

So I also think also every mistake they made, though, is.

[Guest Analyst]

Okay. You. How. What would you change?

[Joe]

It's not what I would change, but I think it's something that I think France maybe took for granted. And it's only. It's only evident when you play against a team like Spain.

[Guest Analyst]

Okay.

[Joe]

Or when you play against opposition that is closer matched to you.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes. Or that are technically.

[Joe]

And I think in a way, they got a warning shot from Paraguay.

[Trevor Noah]

But.

[Joe]

But they didn't see it. Right. When they played against Paraguay, what did Paraguay do particularly? Well, they just put two men in every position to defend.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

So Olise was up against 2. Dembele up against 2. Mbappe up against 2. Everyone is up against 2. Bakula up against due up against 2. It's always up against 2. So, yes, you might beat 1, but can you beat 2? You beat 1, but can you beat two? You beat 1, but can YOU beat 2?

[Guest Analyst]

Who changed that game?

[Joe]

The difference is, though, Paraguay didn't have.

[Guest Analyst]

Didn't have an outlet. Who changed that game?

[Joe]

Who changed the game due.

[Guest Analyst]

Great technician in tight spaces. He got the penalty.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Fantastic.

[Guest Analyst]

And he beat, like, so many guys to get that penalty.

[Joe]

Right.

[Guest Analyst]

But what I'm. But what I'm saying is English. He wouldn't be anywhere near the English team.

[Joe]

But what I'm saying is, though, if you look at the team, though, it's not about, like, good or bad. I think from when I watch it, this is how it seems. The French team, you might take for granted that every player in that team is used to playing in a team where they don't necessarily have to work as hard.

[Guest Analyst]

So they're the tip of the spear.

[Joe]

When Olisse is playing for Bayern Munich, he doesn't have to work that hard in getting the ball, because they always have the ball.

[Guest Analyst]

Mitch Pavlovich working for him.

[Joe]

They have the ball.

[Guest Analyst]

Yeah. They dominate the ball.

[Joe]

They have the ball. And Harry Kane, oftentimes you'll be watching Brian Muk and Harry Kane will be further back than Olise.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Joe]

You look at Dembele, Dembele has Vitina, Joao Neves, Fabian Ruiz. He has all of these guys working for him. Hakimi Ndes, everyone working for him on the ball, which is great. You look at.

[Guest Analyst]

And also PSG again dominates the ball.

[Joe]

You look at Mbappe, everyone's working. And he gets to wait up front.

[Guest Analyst]

Tip of the spear.

[Joe]

Tip of the spear. Right now, you had three or four players who Are used to not working, all not working at the same time. And then you notice it.

[Guest Analyst]

I think the comparison I drew, I drew from France in that game was it's like if you took a kid from the suburb to the hood and now he's like, wait, what's happening? I thought you get milk from the fridge and no, you need to go and forage for it in the streets.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Guest Analyst]

That's why they didn't know how to handle that. But for me, I think France just has to be lucky and want him. Team knocks out Spain, then they will walk to the championship. Can I tell you, any team, anytime, anytime they don't meet Spain, they'll, they'll win. Yes.

[Joe]

I'm so excited, man, for this next generation. If it happens the way they're saying so, it'll be Zidane for France, it'll be Jurgen Klopp for Germany. It's going to be Andrea Perlo. Apparently. This is allegedly. I'm not saying it is, but it could be Perlo for Italy.

[Guest Analyst]

But it's not a good coach. He hasn't, he hasn't yet.

[Joe]

Yeah, but I'm just saying it's exciting.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

No, I'm just saying it's exciting.

[Guest Analyst]

He was an amazing technician. Yes.

[Joe]

Do you know what I'm saying? There's one more. I feel like I'm forgetting. One more of the teams. There's just one. Well, one more name I might be forgetting, but like, to see that next generation, that's going to be, like, properly exciting.

[Guest Analyst]

It's going to be very competitive, but that's it, Joe. And then for England, it's still Thomas Tuchel. Look, man, I, I a player like

[Joe]

Kobe, Ronaldo is going to be at the next World Cup.

[Trevor Noah]

Let's bet on that now.

[Guest Analyst]

No, he won't be. I don't think.

[Joe]

You don't think Cristiano Ronaldo will be at the next World Cup?

[Guest Analyst]

Loves him. He coached him at Al Nassr. But I think Jorge Jesus is also very ruthless. I think he's going to build around the new crop.

[Joe]

So you think so?

[Guest Analyst]

Yes. He loves, he loves Ronaldo. They had a good relationship at Al Nassr in Saudi Arabia, but I don't think he's. I think he's too smart. I think he's too smart and I think because now Gonzalo Ramos, remember, has left psg, he's going to be getting playing time, so he's going to be able to claim. Part of the reason why Ronaldo kept playing was Gonzalo Ramos was always on the bench at psg. So he's playing. Yeah, I hope.

[Joe]

Because if we're honest, there's only one player who really lost at this World cup from this crop of names, and it's Ronaldo.

[Guest Analyst]

Yeah, it is. It is.

[Joe]

You know, because. Because he did score a knockout goal, though.

[Guest Analyst]

That's something.

[Joe]

A knock. A knockout goal from a penalty that really wasn't a penalty.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

Come on, guys. Let's be honest.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

I'm. I'm saying, if you look at the names coming into this World Cup, Jude Bellingham.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

Dembele.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

Erling Haaland, Lionel Messi, Harry Kane, Kylian Mbappe, even Lamina Mal. They showed up when they were on the ball.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

Laminal only got one goal he was struggling with. Yeah, but no, no, forget that. Go and watch every moment where he's

[Guest Analyst]

on the ball, creating moments of danger every time. Yes.

[Joe]

Two players have to mark him. He's creating chaos. He's getting corner kicks. He's doing things. And then go and watch Ronaldo's highlights. And you're just like, but I told

[Guest Analyst]

you this about Ronaldo, and for me, sometimes, again, people go like, you're being harsh. If you're the greatest goalscorer the game has ever seen, which he is right now, when you look at the records, you can't go six World Cups without scoring a knockout game. Bellingham can't outscore you four times in one World Cup.

[Joe]

Yeah, that was crazy.

[Guest Analyst]

That's insane. So, for me, when I look at Ronaldo's record, again, great goalscorer. Ronaldo performs in the champions league. He's Mr. Champions League. I want that Ronaldo when he puts on the Portugal shirt, I don't want excuses, because great players don't need excuses.

[Joe]

Yeah, but it's age, bro.

[Guest Analyst]

Even in his prime. Even in his prime. Even in his prime, Ronaldo never delivered for Portugal. So people would go like, oh, he's 40, but even when he was 26.

[Joe]

Oh, yeah, okay, okay, I see what you're saying. So you're saying regardless of the age.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes. So it's. For me, it's the same thing with Harry Kane. Harry Kane, you can't score three goals from open play, and the two are against Deirakongo, and the other one is against Senegal. No. Harry Kane, I need you to show up. When I look at Hurricane and Ronaldo, for me, they have to use a meme. We use a lot in football or copy pasta. They have mastered the art of start padding against footballing midgets. You know, the casuals. Love it. Their fans love it. Even the analytics guys fall for it. But I see through them. I see through them. For me, they're just tapping merchants.

[Joe]

So let's wrap it up.

[Guest Analyst]

Merchants.

[Joe]

Let's wrap it up. Team of the tournament. For you.

[Guest Analyst]

Team of the tournament. Without a doubt. For me, Spain, Cape Verde.

[Joe]

For me.

[Guest Analyst]

No, the one of Spain.

[Joe]

Nah, for me, Cape Verde. Team of the tournament. Cape Verde player of the tournament.

[Guest Analyst]

Okay, can I, Can I just. You see, if England came in with the hopes of Cape bad, they would always overperform because Cape Verde came in going like, if you just make the knockout rounds, England is at the same level as Cape Verde. They should first admit that, then they'll be on a path.

[Joe]

England is in multiple semi finals. You can't say that.

[Guest Analyst]

Yeah, they've never made the finals.

[Joe]

So for me, team of the tournament. Keep it Player of the tournament.

[Guest Analyst]

Player of the tournament. I'll go with, man, you know, people will say I'm biased. I'll go with Messi.

[Joe]

No, I agree with you. Nah, Lionel Messi.

[Guest Analyst]

Come on, guys, guys, Messi is competing with kids who are supposed to replace him.

[Joe]

Clearly, clearly. Clear of the tournament. Goalkeeper of the tournament.

[Guest Analyst]

United. Simone, without a doubt. Unai Simone. You know, the way he was playing, you saw him today, you were shocked

[Joe]

by how high he was. Like a vintage sweeper keeper.

[Guest Analyst]

And also, remember, there were doubts about him coming to the tournament because people are going like, yeah, but David Roya has won the Golden Glove in England.

[Joe]

No, he was fantastic.

[Guest Analyst]

This year is great for Barcelona. And the coach, Luis de la Fuente went like, I stand by my man.

[Joe]

I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go with Virginia, though, just because he had to face so many more shots.

[Guest Analyst]

Like, you love these underdogs.

[Joe]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm being serious. Like, for me, like you said, if Cape Verde didn't meet Argentina, I think we're telling a very different story about them. And I think his positioning, his decision making, his ball playing ability and his

[Guest Analyst]

composure and also his age. If you're talking about 39 years old.

[Joe]

Yeah, you're not wrong as well.

[Guest Analyst]

On top of that, 40 year old. Yeah. Rosina did say he was single. That was was funny. When they asked him in the Good Morning America interview. I went like, 40. You've dropped, you've just dumped someone. I know how you move. I know how players move.

[Joe]

Team to look out for in the next World Cup.

[Guest Analyst]

I think the team to look out for again, it will be Spain, man. They're Such a young Coru park bus is 19 years.

[Joe]

I think Morocco can. Can do something.

[Guest Analyst]

Morocco is also a young team. They will be hosting, you know, sometimes actually, you're right. You know, I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you. But the thing is, they'll have to go past Spain and they'll have to go past France. France has their number.

[Joe]

Yeah, man, France really has their number.

[Guest Analyst]

Look, Morocco, I haven't been this excited about a Moroccan team since the days of. I don't know whether you remember Youssef Chipo, Mustafa Haji. Yeah. Nora Din Naibet. That team was the golden generation. And I never thought Morocco would produce such a team. Morocco came in 2022 with a great team. Most of them, Roma says, Roman says they are captain. Most of their players, all of them got replaced by younger players. And now the coach who is coaching them, Mohamed, who for me, actually, with the Cape Verde coach, the two coaches of the tournament he used to manage. Last year, he coached their under 21 team to the World Championship. Under 20 team. So he trusts the youth. And remember, he got paracuted into this World cup three months before. Oh, yeah. So now he's going to have enough time to have four years to work with them. Morocco. You're right. You're right. I concede. I concede. Yeah. Morocco is going to be the team to look out for. I concede on Bosinia. I concede on Morocco. Yes.

[Joe]

Infantino.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

Do you think he's going to make it to the next World Cup? When's the next. When's the next election for FIFA?

[Guest Analyst]

Infantino is never leaving. Forget about elections. Infantino is more secure than a teen port dictator. Because what Infantino does is this. Remember, FIFA doesn't put on a great World Cup. You gotta admit, Forget the World Cup. FIFA doesn't allow political interference into the running of the national federations, okay? And they don't do that because they want to stop the corruption of the game. They do that to actually safeguard corruption because they know, people know, people knows. Because people who vote for Infantino, who vote for president, are the national federation presidents. So Infantino is like the Godfather. And he goes like, you're my capos, right? You're my street capo. I'll protect you so long as you also rub my back when it comes to it. Infantino is never leaving. I want him to live so badly. Guys, let's stop living.

[Joe]

If it wasn't for him, we don't get more teams.

[Guest Analyst]

Yeah, but it's not Also a benevolent thing. Remember, he expands the World cup, but he also makes ticket prices go up.

[Joe]

I, I, that's the one thing that's going to change. No, but tickets, tickets are going to go down in the next one. You know why? Because scalping. No, but scalping laws are different in

[Guest Analyst]

Europe and trust laws as well.

[Joe]

Yeah. So in America, you could resell your own tickles, you could have dynamic prices. I think it's going to change.

[Guest Analyst]

No, I think if you, if you dream of infantana living. Yeah. You're in la la land. That man, we're stuck with him.

[Joe]

Infantino's the Spain of FIFA president.

[Guest Analyst]

He's never, but, you know, not even he's, yeah, man, he has, he has us in a chokehold. It's as simple as that. He has us in a chokehold and we just have to make the deal with the devil. He has, the game, he puts on.

[Joe]

Infantino is the Spain of Shakira's.

[Guest Analyst]

His hips, his hips do lie, people

[Joe]

who've got the World cup in a chokehold.

[Guest Analyst]

Yo, man, before we go, can I say something?

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, say it.

[Guest Analyst]

Yeah. Guys, this guy here, I want to talk to you, whatever you do. If you're watching, if you've watched our podcasts, if you've watched our live streams. Guys, get yourself a friend. And I know he's going to hate me for saying this, he probably will never forgive me for saying this, but I'm going to give you a two minute timeout. Don't interrupt me. You've been handing out timeouts like a dictator. I'm handing you out one now. Guys, get yourself a friend like Trevanoa. Because this guy brought me from Africa, took me to the Daily show and he told me, normally when they bring Africans to America to work, it doesn't end well. He brought me to the Daily Show. I dream come true. Trevor helped me win my first Emmy and he spent the last six weeks paying me to watch the World cup and talk about football. Guys, if you. Look, look, this is. If you're ever choosing cocktails to ride, choose very carefully, because if you choose the right ones, you'll go far. Trevor didn't just bring me here, talk about the World Cup. Every after live stream, he used to take me aside and give me tips, give me advice, because this was the first time I was ever being in front of the camera, first time I was ever broadcasting. And he gave me tips to become a better broadcaster, gave me tips to become a better streamer. If you saw me in their first live stream, you could see I was rough around the edges. I'm still rough around it. Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

I was about to say, nothing has

[Guest Analyst]

changed, Joe, but he made me a better streamer. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, if I open an Only fans after this, this man is to blame. But the thing I appreciate most about Trevor, and I have to say this is despite all the advice he gave me.

[Joe]

Do I have to sit here for this?

[Guest Analyst]

You have to see it. You only take it to me. I'm going to lengthen it to five. The thing I appreciate about Trevor is

[Joe]

do I have to sit here for this?

[Trevor Noah]

What am I doing?

[Guest Analyst]

He tried to make me a better broadcaster, but he. One thing he didn't.

[Joe]

This is why I wish I could just give myself a red card.

[Guest Analyst]

Okay. One thing he didn't try to do was change me. He didn't try. He didn't try to make me a better listener. He knew that was a lost cause. So that's what good friends are all for. But no, seriously, guys, we accept you

[Joe]

the way you are.

[Guest Analyst]

Seriously, Trevor, this has been a pleasure.

[Joe]

It's been dope, my friend.

[Guest Analyst]

This has been a dream, man. It's been dope. This has been. And you're paying me minimum wage, but I'm not complaining. I could have paid you to do this. No, guys, seriously. And I know he hates me. He's probably going to never forgive me for saying. He's laughing now, but he's going to give me. What did they used to call it, the hair dryer treatment once we get out. But no, guys, seriously, get yourself.

[Joe]

It was too much fun, man.

[Guest Analyst]

This was great, Joe. You open doors. I could do things.

[Joe]

But I told you this. We were in Russia together.

[Guest Analyst]

Yes.

[Joe]

We were in Qatar together. Now we're in America together.

[Guest Analyst]

Now you've reminded me. You know, he has taken me to Barcelona. Got me. Think about Jim. One. Jazzes. Trevor has. You've seen me. I'm not, like, used to polite. I'm not someone you bring around polite company. Polite company. Sorry, I'm not someone you trust around polite company. He's taken me to meet Shakira. He's taken me to meet Beyonce. Risking everything, by the way.

[Trevor Noah]

After that, we've never met those people ever again. I'm just gonna tell you that now. That was it.

[Guest Analyst]

And then he put me. You made me host a live stream. Not once, not twice.

[Trevor Noah]

My circle has shrunk over the years.

[Guest Analyst]

This man risked demonetizing his channel. And that's what I think good friends are For Trevor, this. You've done so many things. This was a dream.

[Joe]

Thank you, Joe.

[Trevor Noah]

This was fun. And thank you everyone for joining us.

[Guest Analyst]

World cup is done the chat. Please stay together. They built a community. I think we have to thank them. Yeah, it'll be big. We have a discord and all that. Yeah, stick together.

[Joe]

Alright, I'm gonna go rest. This was great, yo.

[Guest Analyst]

You deserve it, bro.

[Trevor Noah]

This segment is brought to you by Febreze. You know, everyone is talking about this being the biggest soccer summer in American history. There's more fans, there's more games, there's

[Joe]

more kids playing, more adults suddenly deciding

[Trevor Noah]

that they're soccer experts because they watched one match and learned what offsides is. But nobody talks about the hidden cost of soccer's growth. The smell. That's right, people. More soccer means more cleats, more bags, more jerseys, more car rides home after practice, more gear getting thrown into corners and left there for way longer than

[Joe]

anyone wants to admit.

[Trevor Noah]

Which brings us to to today's confession booth. Joe, it's time to be honest. What is your worst odor crime?

[Guest Analyst]

Wow, let me see. So I went to an all boys school.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, it's better.

[Guest Analyst]

And I was part of the soccer team. And we're all teenagers, so you talk about other crimes. I've witnessed other crimes against humanity. Some people lost their sense of smell during the pandemic. I lost mine long before.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, I'm ready for my confession.

[Guest Analyst]

What's your confession, Trevor?

[Trevor Noah]

I did not know that clothing is

[Joe]

meant to be removed from a washing

[Trevor Noah]

machine after it has been washed. So at the tender age of 27, I placed clothes into a washing machine and I pressed wash and then I left it. And I left the house for three days. When I returned home, I thought that somebody had been murdered in my living room. There was no person, no murder had taken place, Joe. I followed the smell to my washing machine.

[Joe]

And then I was like, wait, did

[Trevor Noah]

my washing machine kill somebody? I opened the door, Joe, and the only murder was what happened to my nose. Have you ever smelled clothes that have not been removed from a washing machine after being washed?

[Guest Analyst]

Never had the pleasure.

[Trevor Noah]

I had to move out of that apartment, Joe. I didn't get my security deposit back. And those clothes will never be spoken of again until this moment right here. And that's why, my friends, this room is so confusing to me. Because despite my experience, we are sitting in a professional boot room. You see it?

[Joe]

This should smell like every overtime game,

[Trevor Noah]

every rainy practice, and every pair of cleats that got left in a trunk over a long weekend, but instead, it actually smells fresh. That's because Febreze fabric is designed for all the things you can't just throw in. The wash, the cleats, the gear bags, the car seats. All the places where sports tend to leave a lasting impression. If your soccer gear is starting to smell like its own locker room, it's time for Febreze fabric. It doesn't just mask odors, it helps fight them. Ah. Find Febreze fabric at Dollar General. You nailed that. It got even fresher in here.

[Guest Analyst]

Ah.

[Trevor Noah]

Now I don't even know if we were in here.

[Guest Analyst]

Did you get it?

[Joe]

What Now?

[Trevor Noah]

World cup bonus episodes are produced by DayZero Productions in partnership with SiriusX. Executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin, Ryan Harduth and Rebecca Shane. Music, mixing and mastering by Hannis Brown.

[Joe]

Thank you so much for listening.

[Trevor Noah]

Join us every Monday during the World cup for bonus episodes of what now with Trevor Noah. Thanks again to Febreze for sponsoring this episode. Febreze is the official odor fighter of Major League Soccer. That's the point. Febreze fabric is for everything the game touches that the washing machine can't. You're not changing anything. It was already fresh after the first spray.

[Guest Analyst]

I feel like you're just.

[Trevor Noah]

You're just having fun with the bottle. No one man should have all that power.