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Kyle Mooney
This is a Headgun podcast. Wow.
Beck Bennett
Yay. Another episode of what's our Podcast. But first, a little special announcement from Becky and Kyle.
Kyle Mooney
This is very big. This is.
Beck Bennett
It's very huge and big.
Kyle Mooney
I think this is life changing for me.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. That's the way I feel. As long as it goes well.
Kyle Mooney
Well, even if it doesn't, it is altering my life.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, it already has.
Kyle Mooney
The big announcement is we are starting a patreon.
Chelsea Peretti
Yes.
Beck Bennett
You're saying to yourself, oh, yes, it was.
Kyle Mooney
You know, it was a risk. It was a swing to even start a podcast together back.
Beck Bennett
Yes, it was.
Kyle Mooney
We didn't know what it is. We still are finding out what it is every single week when we come together with our guests. And when you and I sort of
Beck Bennett
mess around on the microphone, let's tell them what it is. For the first tier, Rocco, Basic tier.
Kyle Mooney
It's five bucks a month. You're gonna get a bonus episode every week. No guest. Okay. It's just Beck and I doing what we've been doing Since September of 2003 when we first met each other.
Beck Bennett
For that tier, we have slopping out, which is just the two of us hanging out.
Kyle Mooney
It's like our intro to our show.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. But it's longer. We can go into bits longer.
Kyle Mooney
We can also be earnest. Learn about each other's lives.
Beck Bennett
Yes. Catch up for longer. Or we also have what's yous Podcast, where we take ideas from our Patreon members.
Kyle Mooney
Yes.
Beck Bennett
At a certain tier, at the $10 tier, which is the next tier. We take your ideas and we try that podcast out. Right, but you can pitch those ideas at the $10 tier.
Kyle Mooney
Yes. Once you get to the $10 tier, premium rock, which we're calling Rocco Premium.
Beck Bennett
Rocco Premium.
Kyle Mooney
That's where you actually get to pitch the ideas that we will do on our podcast. You're also gonna get access to an exclusive chat. A chat room.
Chelsea Peretti
Yes.
Kyle Mooney
The Discord. The Rocco Discord, where you can talk with other fans, other listeners. Probably kind of do your own little bits. Make some friends. Maybe. Maybe you can grab. Grab dinner or coffee with one of them sometime.
Beck Bennett
Also with the $10 tier, you get access to. You get to see our. What we're calling our sillies. Yes.
Kyle Mooney
These are little videos. You know, we came up making videos together. Full circle. Because now you and I are just gonna make a little video we already started. Get a little iPhone, make a little video, play some characters, do some bits.
Beck Bennett
Just come up with an idea and pop it right off and just shoot it.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah. We don't need to labor over it.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, exactly. We just kind of have fun and pump it out to our Rocco's. You know what I mean?
Kyle Mooney
I know exactly what you mean. I love it.
Beck Bennett
Yes.
Kyle Mooney
For 15 bucks, you get all that stuff, plus you get free access to our new ticketed live stream. So, like, we will talk to you directly. You can ask us questions. We'll be doing these quarterly throughout the year.
Beck Bennett
We might do poppers there. We don't know yet. It's only going to be legal stuff, but we're going to have fun to do poppers. Yes. And here's the thing for Rocket supreme, if you sign up for a full year, you'll get a side headshot of me and Kyle. We don't know, but it's going to be an amazing family heirloom that you get and you can, you know, frame it and put above the fireplace or something or something like that.
Kyle Mooney
It is really going to be fun. I think it's going to be a place to see some really weird, wild and crazy stuff where we just get
Beck Bennett
to do whatever we want without really caring. So. Yeah. So go to patreon.com what's our podcast and join today, please.
Kyle Mooney
That's patreon.com what's our Podcast? And be in the Rocco Club with all your fellow Roccos. Dude, guess what?
Beck Bennett
Pile. What's up, man? It's back. What's going on, dude?
Chelsea Peretti
Hey.
Kyle Mooney
Not much, brother. Just hanging, hanging out and getting excited for the big. For the big day next week. Did you hear about it?
Beck Bennett
Oh, no. What's going on?
Kyle Mooney
The guys from what's our podcast, which is Beck, Ben and Kyle Mooney, are doing a lives.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Are doing a live.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Are doing a live. Are doing a live stream episode. So that means that we're going to invite all, all, all of our friends who listen to watch to come hang. Hang with us and do. We'll do an episode for them and it's live streamed.
Beck Bennett
The Patreon friends. If you're on Patreon, if you are paid, friends are friends from Patreon.
Kyle Mooney
Exactly.
Beck Bennett
It's gonna be not on Patreon. You can't see it. You can't be a part of it.
Kyle Mooney
So. So if you're not on Patreon yet, you better join or else you're gonna be right. Everybody else is gonna be talking about the fun live stream with the what's our Podcast guys? And you'll be like, oh, my God, I missed it. What am I doing with my Life. Oh, I should take a hammer and hammer out.
Beck Bennett
Go to town.
Kyle Mooney
Go to town.
Beck Bennett
Okay.
Kyle Mooney
But yeah, the live stream is going to be next Tuesday, June 23rd at 3pm PT, 6pm ET. All you got to do is join
Beck Bennett
Pacific time or Eastern time for the. Sorry.
Kyle Mooney
It's okay. I know that, like, I'm sort of the guy who like, kind of has to be like, oh, wait, we got
Beck Bennett
to make sure we do the promo.
Kyle Mooney
And you're sort of the guy who's like, I'm just gonna around the whole time. I get it.
Beck Bennett
That's actually not. That's actually not the goal and intent.
Kyle Mooney
Okay.
Beck Bennett
I was trying my best. I was trying to, like, just support and show up and just like, make sure people understood that ET stands for Eastern time and PT stands for Pacific time. Okay.
Kyle Mooney
I appreciate it.
Beck Bennett
Sorry that I. I was doing due diligence.
Kyle Mooney
Sorry that I misjudged you.
Beck Bennett
It's okay. I'm just trying to make sure everybody has all the information and then they can make their. The best calls once they have the information.
Kyle Mooney
Okay, well, come join us on Tuesday. We'll be doing some bits. We'll be maybe making some music. Maybe I'll show you some videos. Beck, it's gonna be. It's gonna be our first time doing a. Doing a live show for our, our friends on the Internet. So who knows?
Beck Bennett
Maybe I'll cook something.
Kyle Mooney
Okay.
Beck Bennett
I don't know. It just came up. I don't know.
Kyle Mooney
I like it. I like it. Maybe I'll.
Beck Bennett
Maybe you can finally wrestle in front of our friends.
Kyle Mooney
I would like that.
Beck Bennett
I would, too. Old school style.
Kyle Mooney
Well, join the Patreon. We'll see you next week. Tuesday, June 23rd at 3:00pm Eastern Time, Pacific Time.
Beck Bennett
Shit.
Kyle Mooney
Pacific Time or 6:00pm Eastern Time.
Beck Bennett
And prepare. It's going to be the live event of the century. You've never seen anything like it. It's going to be just as awesome as Donald Trump's UFC birthday party. You're listening to this podcast, so I know you've got a curious mind. Here's a helpful fact you might not know yet. Drivers who switch and save with Progressives save over $900 on average. Pop over to progressive.com, answer some questions, and you'll get a quick quote with discounts that are easy to come by. In fact, 99% of their auto customers earn at least one discount. Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12 month savings of $946 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025. Potential savings will vary. What's our podcast? What's it gonna be all about? Tell us what's our podcast. What should we talk about with Beck and Kyle? Oh, my God. Wow. Oh, no.
Kyle Mooney
We're starting. Rochelle's tinkering away.
Beck Bennett
Yes.
Kyle Mooney
Like the mad,
Beck Bennett
mad scion.
Kyle Mooney
Mad scion. She is.
Beck Bennett
Yes. Well, if you're watching right now and if you're listening, this is what's our podcast.
Kyle Mooney
We are gone. We are no longer here.
Beck Bennett
Yes, we are gone.
Kyle Mooney
If you're watching this videotape or listening to this episode.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, we're not.
Kyle Mooney
We have less left. This left your ball of energy.
Beck Bennett
Your.
Kyle Mooney
Your planet. And we are. We have. We have.
Beck Bennett
We have sailed on Into. Into. We are into the Netherlands. We are speaking to you from the afterlife. No, just kidding. That'd be awkward.
Kyle Mooney
That would be nice, though, if we kind of leave everybody with a podcast after we pass.
Beck Bennett
That would be really nice. Yeah. Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Rochelle, can we schedule that? Can we do, like, one episode we just record randomly that after both of us pass or after just one of us?
Beck Bennett
I think both of us.
Kyle Mooney
Okay, so after we would like to do. How. How long should this episode be?
Beck Bennett
Three hours. We can get, like, everything off our chest and just, like, lay everything out and. And then it'll be sitting there, you know, for us to release once we have both passed.
Kyle Mooney
Great.
Beck Bennett
That we can get that on the books.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Thank you, Rochelle. Thank you.
Kyle Mooney
Now I'm. Now I'm all curious, like, what do you have to get off your chest? What's been bothering you?
Beck Bennett
Oh, just, like. Just like, what I really think about me. You and all different types of, like, you know, people and the government and, like.
Kyle Mooney
Oh, so you have a lot.
Beck Bennett
Well, this is actually way, like.
Kyle Mooney
But these are things you don't want to say. Just right in, like, an episode we'd put out next week or something, because you feel like you're like. It's. They're not popular opinions.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. And it's, like, negative and, like, technically bad.
Kyle Mooney
So you. But you. So you can you have the perspective to think or know that it's bad?
Beck Bennett
Oh, yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Interesting.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. No.
Kyle Mooney
Give us.
Beck Bennett
No. Okay. No. Come on. For the list, for the listeners, viewers. No, I. I only think good thoughts. No. And I'm not gonna die. Who are you?
Kyle Mooney
Peter Pan? Tinkerbell?
Beck Bennett
Yeah, maybe sometimes.
Kyle Mooney
Whoa.
Beck Bennett
Yes. I am Peter Pan, bro. We brought a little. Maybe a new song for Peter Pan. Maybe Peter Pan's coming Back to Broadway.
Kyle Mooney
And it's like a new song for Peter Pan. I like that.
Beck Bennett
And it's like. And he just met Wendy and little John or whatever their names are in the nursery.
Kyle Mooney
It is little. Yeah, I think It's Little John Jr.
Beck Bennett
Little John and Michael.
Kyle Mooney
Yo, sorry I screwed up.
Beck Bennett
It's all good. Yo, check me out now.
Kyle Mooney
Hey, what happened? Oh, I wasn't recording.
Beck Bennett
Oh, it's all good,
Kyle Mooney
dude.
Beck Bennett
Oh, no, it's okay. We all make mistakes sometimes. We all make mistakes sometimes. You just gotta pick yourself up again and keep on trying again. Yes, we all make mistakes sometimes. Yes, we all blow it big sometimes. Don't.
Kyle Mooney
Okay, I'm just gonna, like. There's no. I'm going raw, Styles.
Beck Bennett
Raw Dog it.
Kyle Mooney
Here we go. Dee dee dee.
Beck Bennett
Yo, check me out. I'm Peter Pan? I'm flying through the sky? I'm wearing green. I've got this.
Kyle Mooney
Why am I so bad at this?
Beck Bennett
I hang out with the lost boys all day and we play tricks on the pirates?
Kyle Mooney
Hey, hey, don't you do definitely giving like fergalicious beccalicious.
Beck Bennett
I am Peter Pan and I move like this? One foot forward and two steps back? Do the Peter Pan, do the Peter Pan? Do the Peter Pan, do the Peter Pan?
Kyle Mooney
I am Peter. I am Peter Pan and I need my pixie dust? If you don't give it to me, you must trust me? I will fly to never, never, never see you again?
Beck Bennett
I'm hanging out with the with my friends? With my friends?
Kyle Mooney
I am Peter Pan and I never never land? Never, never, never, never see you again?
Beck Bennett
I live in Neverland? Cause I fly in the sky? And if I had my way I would never land? And yeah, I've got my own peace peanut butter. I eat it all day like my father?
Kyle Mooney
I am Peter the most annoying
Chelsea Peretti
comes
Beck Bennett
in like these three kids in a nursery and he's like, hey, I am Peter Pan and I've lost my shadow. I left it in your drawer when your mom came in with a paddle. She scared me away and I lost my shadow. Now me tink our back, Will you sew it on my foot? I'm Peter Pan, don't you know I am a ham?
Kyle Mooney
I'm Peter Pan.
Beck Bennett
And I can do this. Wah, wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. And then they're all like, I don't know if I want to fly away with this guy. Don't you want to go where you never grow up?
Kyle Mooney
And the lost boys don't ever show up? I'm Peter Pan?
Beck Bennett
We're the Lost boys. Parents. They never show up. Yes, because they don't have any parents. You're a young girl. Would you like to be our mom? We're looking for a mom. Cause we don't have any parents. Wow.
Kyle Mooney
I am Peter Pan and I wear my green. I like to fly around the clouds. You see, I was a little boy and I'm still little now. And if you don't like that, me and Tink will fly around.
Beck Bennett
Fly, fly, fly, fly, fly, fly around.
Kyle Mooney
Wendy is the girl that I always love. Like I visit her house when I fly at night. I see her little brothers and I say hello. And n. I pe. Pe Mip is yellow. Peter Pan, he's Peterlicious.
Beck Bennett
I like to Pete, Pete, Peter all day long. I like to Pete, Pete, Peter come along, yeah, your brothers can come. If you are my girl, you can live with me and we can do the girdle.
Kyle Mooney
Captain Hook is a very mean man.
Chelsea Peretti
That's coming from me.
Kyle Mooney
A little boy named Peter Pan.
Beck Bennett
And that's right. He lost one of his hands because of Peter Pan, the crocodile ape.
Kyle Mooney
That song is so bad. Smee is my buddy. He like Captain Hook. He don't have hair, he'll leave me a shook. He's got a nice little belly and he runs around the ship. Oh, little Smee, let's see you do a dip.
Beck Bennett
Dip, dip, dip, dip.
Kyle Mooney
He dips and dances all around. He shakes because Smee's getting down. He's got a denim chapter and little legs now. Come on, Smee, dance with me.
Beck Bennett
Bom bom, bom. Boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie. Wow. Well, welcome to what Kind of have
Kyle Mooney
the choice to immediately fast forward through any of that. I made some mistakes.
Beck Bennett
We all made mistakes.
Kyle Mooney
The music was bad. The music was fully off.
Beck Bennett
I think that was great. I mean, I think. I honestly think that with music like that. Do a new Peter Pan. We're going.
Chelsea Peretti
We.
Beck Bennett
We take a. We take like a. A Titanic, right? What's it called? Oh, hello. Oh, Mary. You know, we can have like a. We could just redo Peter Pan. Peter Pan, Peter Pan. And it's going to be huge for
Kyle Mooney
a kind of like, kind of. Yeah. New danceable Peter Pan.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's kind of like maybe a little delicious. Maybe a little R rated here or there.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, Well, I did the PP stuff.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Yeah, that's. I guess that's PG13, but that was great. Yeah. We have a great guest this week, by the way.
Kyle Mooney
This is what's our podcast with Beck, Ben and Kyle Mooney, where we have a guest come in to pitch us their idea for what they think our podcast should be about.
Beck Bennett
That's right. That's right. And this week we have the incredible Chelsea Peretti.
Kyle Mooney
She's done it all.
Beck Bennett
She's done it all. She's so funny. Incredible Stand up. Incredible, Incredible actor on Brooklyn 99 and Crow show and many other things. She's. She's somebody who. I got to be honest, I mean, like, she's of that, like, group of people that was, like, just ahead of us kind of.
Kyle Mooney
Sure.
Beck Bennett
And she's very intimidating to me.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, well, I think funny, smart people are typically intimidating. Yeah, Well, I think we're. I mean, I think we're gonna have a great time. And the thing is, we're in it together. And when I say we, I don't just mean you and I back.
Beck Bennett
Who.
Kyle Mooney
When we've known each other, obviously, for a decent amount of time.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, I think since. Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
But I also mean Rochelle, who's back there, who I trust and who always crushes it and is there for support.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. She's become an absolute warrior of the pod.
Kyle Mooney
And she's an ally.
Beck Bennett
She's an ally for us. For us, for guys like us. And, you know. No, but honestly, people always talk about allies that aren't. They aren't straight white guys. And we need allies, too.
Kyle Mooney
Yes.
Beck Bennett
I'm actually. And just so everybody knows, I am joking.
Kyle Mooney
Okay. Yeah.
Beck Bennett
But I do think the idea of it is funny. And, you know, it's.
Kyle Mooney
We do sometimes say serious things on here.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
But not. Not very often.
Beck Bennett
Not as much as we used to.
Kyle Mooney
It's usually. There's usually a. Some sort of. Some sort of satirical bend.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, we're saying it ironically usually, but. But yeah, I'm excited to sit down with Chelsea. I've not never sat down with her before. Is there. I do. I do.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
You got a question for me? You got a.
Beck Bennett
No, I actually don't. But just like, I just.
Kyle Mooney
You want to sort of, like, kind of figure out the attack, like, kind of.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, well, I was. That's funny you say that. I just don't. I hope she doesn't attack us.
Kyle Mooney
Okay.
Beck Bennett
And if she. And if she attacks one of us, we got to help each other out. Okay. If. If she attacks one. If she attacks you, I will go right at her. And if she text me, you go right How? I don't like the language I'm using.
Kyle Mooney
It's not the language. It's that you're so like, assured about the idea. I, like, I love that you're defending. You're going to be defending me, but I don't love the idea that you're ready to attack immediately.
Beck Bennett
Okay.
Kyle Mooney
It just makes me a little nervous.
Beck Bennett
Okay. Do you want me. Should I lie and say that I'm not going to be ready to attack?
Kyle Mooney
It's not a matter of, like, just. Yeah, you don't. I don't want you to just lie and say, like, huh, I'm not going to attack her. I want it more. I. I feel, like, more comfortable if you just, like, sort of. I thought about those thoughts and, and maybe marinated in them before, like, react, you know, acting on them, if that makes sense.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Okay.
Kyle Mooney
Agree to disagree.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, no, I just. I don't know. I don't know. I. I will do my best. Do you have any. Do you have any, like. Like, drugs that might help me?
Kyle Mooney
Do you have any drugs that might help you? I'm not on me, but I'm trying to think.
Beck Bennett
Well, we'll see what happens. Hopefully, I. I will relax.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, I think it'd be great.
Beck Bennett
We're pumping out material like crazy between Patreon and the main stuff.
Kyle Mooney
I see you so much.
Beck Bennett
I know, it's crazy. I think we have to, like, dial that back a little bit, but we'll see. We don't know. We'll have to find out.
Kyle Mooney
I was enjoying it. I was.
Beck Bennett
I'm. Dude, I. Come on. I was joking around.
Kyle Mooney
Oh, I see. This is like, I never. Cuz, like, because podcast, it's like, it dips out of seriousness. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Beck Bennett
We never.
Kyle Mooney
I was like, oh, he's not loving it.
Beck Bennett
No, no. I'm having a great time, honestly, sitting here with you today, coming up with two original songs. One about Peter Pan.
Kyle Mooney
We got one in the. In the Patreon.
Beck Bennett
I see somebody coming to the door. I think it's time. You guys, this is Chelsea Peretti. Let's go. What's up? I see you through the window.
Kyle Mooney
This podcast is brought to you by Lisa Mattresses. Yay. And the crowd goes wild. Lisa Mattresses, I gotta ask you. I gotta ask you. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I never knew a mattress could be as great as you. How did you do it?
Beck Bennett
I'm made of all sorts of different materials depending on what you're looking for with your sleep. And you can totally adjust me to all your needs.
Kyle Mooney
Wow, Lisa. Well, we're such great fans. By the way, what are you wearing here today?
Beck Bennett
I'm wearing a fitted sheet and a top Sheet and a duvet.
Kyle Mooney
Well, it looks great and we can't wait to see you again. Once again, congrats on all the great work.
Beck Bennett
Thank you. Wow. I can't believe we got that exclusive interview with Lisa mattresses. But look, like a lot of families, our nighttime routine revolves around getting everyone settled and ready for the next day. Me and Kyle live in the same house. We have kids and we have w. It's. It's crazy. Once my kid is asleep or our kids are asleep, that quiet moment to rest and recharge really matters to me. With my reserve hybrid mattress, I'm just relaxing.
Kyle Mooney
I feel the same way about my chill legend mattress.
Beck Bennett
That and that name alone makes me want to get the mattress. Well, look, these are from Lisa. And my bed feels like a sleep sanctuary.
Kyle Mooney
Reminds me of Lisa Simpson.
Beck Bennett
Remember her? Yeah, but she's not a mattress, okay? I fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer, and wake up feeling truly rested, which has made my busy mornings much smoother.
Kyle Mooney
She plays the sax, I believe.
Beck Bennett
Not a mattress.
Kyle Mooney
Lisa mattresses are meticulously designed and assembled in the USA for exceptional quality. And they back it all up.
Beck Bennett
Back it up, back it up.
Kyle Mooney
You look good. I want you back.
Beck Bennett
They back it up with free shipping, easy returns and 120 night sleep.
Kyle Mooney
Lisa has been awarded best hybrid and best memory foam mattresses by New York Times wire cutters by West Elm as their go to mattress partner. Lisa isn't just about sleep. It's about impact. They work with local nonprofits across the US who donate thousands of mattresses each year to families in need. With over 43,000 mattresses donated a date. That's amaz. That's awesome.
Beck Bennett
That's really amazing. That's awesome. Look, Lisa's committed to eco friendly materials and sustainable manufacturing practices and partners with organizations like Clean Hub and Green Worms.
Kyle Mooney
They help remove harmful plastic waste from
Beck Bennett
the environment, which is important.
Kyle Mooney
Go to Lisa.com for 30 off select mattresses plus get an extra 50 off with promo code Beg and Kyle. Exclusive to our listeners. That's L EE E S a.com promo
Beck Bennett
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Kyle Mooney
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Beck Bennett
Green webs Lisa.com promo code beckand Kyle. I could just sit here and watch that all day. Green. Hi, I'm Beck Bennett.
Kyle Mooney
I thought I was Beck Bennett.
Beck Bennett
No, no, no, no.
Kyle Mooney
Kyle Mooney.
Beck Bennett
Yes. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good. All good.
Kyle Mooney
Thanks, buddy.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. And we host the show what's our podcast here on Headgum.
Kyle Mooney
This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and make you look like a kick ass person online.
Beck Bennett
Like you skateboarding through the Internet or you're like you're surfing through the web.
Kyle Mooney
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Beck Bennett
I like that it's all in one place. I don't, I like that I don't have to go around, you know, like different stores or something.
Kyle Mooney
It's just, well, it's like, oh, do I need to go to like, do I need another type of website to like find the right pictures or like another type of website to upload?
Beck Bennett
You know, it's all in one place.
Kyle Mooney
The video or audio or like. No, I want it makes it easy. Make it easy on me, please.
Beck Bennett
Yes. And you can do all those things. Photos, videos, changing fonts, you know, I mean, the designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs. There are SEO tools which. I know what those are. And their custom domains.
Kyle Mooney
Oh, let's come up with a domain right now. Let's see. I wonder if it exists.
Beck Bennett
Www.friends meeting friends.
Kyle Mooney
Friends meeting friends.com that's an original thing
Beck Bennett
that we came up with. Friends meeting friends. Anyway, so check out squarespace.com headgum for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code headgum to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell, sounds easy. Anybody could do it. Support for this podcast comes from Progressive, America's number one motorcycle insurer.
Kyle Mooney
Did you know writers who switch and
Beck Bennett
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Chelsea Peretti
And more.
Beck Bennett
Quote Today, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average 12 month savings of $197 by new customers surveyed who saved
Kyle Mooney
with Progressive between October 2024 and September 2025. Potential savings will vary.
Chelsea Peretti
Turkey ball.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, I actually decided to leave these out on purpose.
Chelsea Peretti
That's brilliant.
Beck Bennett
Chicken meatballs from Equinox.
Chelsea Peretti
We can get a good 40 minutes out of that.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, yeah. And if you want to try, they don't look very good.
Chelsea Peretti
No, I don't.
Beck Bennett
But you don't want to try.
Chelsea Peretti
No, thanks.
Kyle Mooney
I do.
Beck Bennett
Like, this would be a great clip. Will you just eat these?
Chelsea Peretti
No.
Kyle Mooney
Turkey ball is so less appetizing sounding than turkey meatball.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, Turkey balls takes it. Cuts it right down to size.
Beck Bennett
Kyle often talks about food Food. And as. As far as, like, fried balls.
Kyle Mooney
That's like.
Beck Bennett
I would say that's probably one orangeini kind of. Yeah, yeah. Like a croquet.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
You know? Yeah. Past app.
Chelsea Peretti
Past apps, for sure.
Kyle Mooney
Oh, I've got a past app story.
Beck Bennett
Oh, I told you.
Kyle Mooney
Actually, maybe I put this on record already.
Beck Bennett
Oh, maybe the. Was it about the spring?
Chelsea Peretti
You don't repeat it.
Beck Bennett
About the spring roll box.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, the cater.
Beck Bennett
The crater.
Kyle Mooney
The crate.
Chelsea Peretti
It was like a crater is a different.
Kyle Mooney
It was a crate.
Chelsea Peretti
Create craters all over Los Angeles.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, maybe that'.
Kyle Mooney
That was kind of like a cool little rhyme, too. Create craters.
Chelsea Peretti
Create craters.
Beck Bennett
Great.
Kyle Mooney
It was a. I got a spring roll. I said this on record.
Beck Bennett
I. Yeah, yeah. Remember this?
Kyle Mooney
Was there a guest around?
Beck Bennett
I think it was an intro or.
Chelsea Peretti
It doesn't matter. He could retell it.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, you can retell.
Kyle Mooney
I'm talk.
Beck Bennett
It's an amazing story.
Kyle Mooney
Okay. He's, like, moving, like, trying to get around. Like, I'm, like, awkward or something. Come on. It's actually a good way to get to know the host.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
The guest. What the hell
Chelsea Peretti
helps you get to know me? What world are we living in?
Kyle Mooney
Okay, so I made one mistake. It's gonna. It's gonna. It's good. It's gonna get good from here.
Beck Bennett
Okay. Okay.
Kyle Mooney
Anyway, the spring roll. That's like a Sprite commercial.
Beck Bennett
That's refreshing.
Chelsea Peretti
I used to do commercial work.
Beck Bennett
Oh, yeah? Not anymore.
Chelsea Peretti
Do I look like I'd be in a commercial in the deep background?
Beck Bennett
No, right in the front. Right in front of the camera. Right.
Kyle Mooney
We were actually just talking about that. You'd be great in commercials.
Chelsea Peretti
That's weird. We were like.
Beck Bennett
We were like. We were talking about you, but we were like, she's so funny. She should do commercials.
Kyle Mooney
Lots of commercials.
Chelsea Peretti
You know that I actually met a commercial agent in New York, like, a thousand years ago, and I was like, this is the epitome of my entire headspace in life is like, I was, like, so tortured. Like, I wouldn't do a McDonald's commercial. And I'm like, telling the commercial agent, like, I just don't think I could do a McDonald's commercial. And they're like, thanks so much. Like, just like.
Beck Bennett
Like, I'm trying to have, like, a
Chelsea Peretti
moral through line and commercial work.
Kyle Mooney
They're like, because, like, it's so corporate or.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't know why. I just was like, I don't want to.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Promote those fries.
Kyle Mooney
How do you feel?
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
I regret telling that story. I think yours might have been A little better.
Kyle Mooney
Oh, you want to hear this? The spring roll story?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Okay, let's. Let's get into it. Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Okay.
Beck Bennett
I was with past apps.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
And one of the trays being carried around was a tray of spring rolls, and they were in little wooden crates.
Chelsea Peretti
Cool.
Kyle Mooney
And so.
Chelsea Peretti
No, that's a nice touch.
Beck Bennett
Nice touch. But until you hear this.
Chelsea Peretti
This is a classy event, by the way.
Kyle Mooney
So I grab. I grab one and I take spring roll and I eat it, and I'm left with this little tiny wooden crate that is like. It looks.
Beck Bennett
It looks nice.
Kyle Mooney
It looks like they put some care into this. It's not like a piece, you know? And I'm like, what do I do with this? And I see one of the tray carriers coming around with the spring roll
Beck Bennett
with the spring rails. Okay. So this is a tray with the spring barrels. Really? He's not collecting, like, empty glasses, but he does.
Kyle Mooney
But there is space on the. There's empty space.
Chelsea Peretti
Discard some trash onto that. That empty space. If you were gauche.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, if you're gauche.
Kyle Mooney
Okay, well, just give me one chance here.
Beck Bennett
I'll see what happens.
Chelsea Peretti
All right.
Kyle Mooney
His tray was not full. There was space for. Anyway, so here's what I say. I say to him, hey, is it. Do you mind if I put the.
Beck Bennett
The.
Kyle Mooney
The crate here?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
And he says, I'd rather you not.
Beck Bennett
And then. And then you didn't.
Kyle Mooney
And then I didn't. And I threw it in the trash. But I felt so bad. It felt wasteful to get rid of this little tiny.
Chelsea Peretti
Taking it home to your kid.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. That could have been a little toy idea. Well, next time. Next.
Chelsea Peretti
Make a little mouse bed.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Next day, like, just collect all the mouse bed. Yeah. Collect all the stuff from. From the caterers and bring it home for. For your child.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. Caterer trash. Do you do that in little muffin wrappers?
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Little napkins and, like, little dirty, greasy bamboo toothpicks with the little colorful plastic at the end. Yeah. Yeah. That's really fun.
Kyle Mooney
Really pretty.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. Or the looped bamboo.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
You know what I'm talking about. It's great to have you here.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, my gosh.
Beck Bennett
I love your pants.
Chelsea Peretti
I was truly excited. Thank you. They're a little hemmed, a little short. You're seeing a little more than I was. I was hoping for. Whatever. Whatever. But I'm really into these slides. They're hoka, I think.
Beck Bennett
Okay, great.
Chelsea Peretti
You're going to change your life. You get these Hoka slides. Commercial work.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Okay.
Chelsea Peretti
You get these Hoka slides. You're going to be sliding through life.
Beck Bennett
I've never had a pair of slides I need.
Chelsea Peretti
They're honestly a complete game changer.
Kyle Mooney
I believe that.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
I mean, I guess I got the boat shoes, which are like.
Chelsea Peretti
Those are great, too.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
For this age.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. I like to slip into a show. I've got Crocs, I've got the boat shoes. I've got Vans. What else do I have to do?
Chelsea Peretti
Commercial work?
Beck Bennett
Oh, yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Pretty much exclusively now.
Chelsea Peretti
It's kind of the thing in a JCPenney's. Like, as a JCPenney's dad.
Beck Bennett
Thank you. Thank you. I mean, yeah, JCPenney, if you want to cast me, I would love to.
Chelsea Peretti
I wasn't meaning to roast you that hard, but that came out, like, as. As far. Full roast.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. No, no, I don't. I actually don't think it's a roast. I actually think it's pretty nice. I think, like, I love J.C. penny. I think those guys are pretty cool. Yeah, you got.
Kyle Mooney
You do have a great look back.
Beck Bennett
Thank you.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. I mean, it's the goatees a little different for me.
Chelsea Peretti
It's switching. It's dark.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, It's. It's the way my. It's. It's just the way it grows in. I can't grow a full beard.
Kyle Mooney
Is this for a part?
Chelsea Peretti
It's for a part beard.
Beck Bennett
It's for. Is that nice, dude, dude, that she's rich. I'm feeling. I'm feeling my. I'm on fire.
Chelsea Peretti
You know what? Sometimes I just flip straight into roast mode.
Beck Bennett
And I don't even mean to.
Chelsea Peretti
I mean, I emanate love to both of you. Truly.
Beck Bennett
And. Wait, what was that last part you said emanate love? You emanate love. I can feel it.
Kyle Mooney
Love.
Beck Bennett
I. We have so much love for you. I did say when we were talking about you a little bit before you came in, that, you know, especially back in the. Back in the day a little bit when we're all coming up, I was very intimidated by it.
Chelsea Peretti
Okay, good. I was hoping you might say that.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Okay, great. Do you. Do people. Do people say that?
Chelsea Peretti
They do. They do. Yeah. I don't know. Like, part of me likes it and
Beck Bennett
a part of me doesn't, but it's, you know, it's. It's. And Kyle said smart, funny people are often intimidated.
Chelsea Peretti
But I truly have to say, like, I am, like, also, aside from being, like, a cutting, harsh person, I'm also, like, very earnest in a certain way. I was really Excited to do this because you guys are so funny. And I was watching the clips, like, literally cracking up. I'm like, when do you ever crack up to podcast clips?
Beck Bennett
Rare, Rare. Thank you. Yeah, man. Yes.
Kyle Mooney
Well, you make us laugh all the time. I was listening to one, some standup clip on the way here, and I
Chelsea Peretti
like how we both crammed for this. I know exactly this big meeting.
Beck Bennett
What really hit me, I knew who you were before 10 minutes ago. Tyla Mooney and you.
Kyle Mooney
But it really hit me this one line you said, I'm sorry, this is probably from 15 years ago.
Chelsea Peretti
That's fine.
Kyle Mooney
But it was you talking about what you want your funeral to be. And it was like, you want it to be a stand up open mic.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, yeah, that's really old. I don't know where you saw that or heard that.
Kyle Mooney
I think it was like a Comedy Central. YouTube.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, that sounds.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Is that still true? I was like, I had an open mic.
Beck Bennett
The joke.
Chelsea Peretti
Because I literally believed you were asking me. I'm like, the joke. No, like, the joke was a bit. The punchline was like stuck. Cause I'd love to be dead for that. That was the punchline. But also I used to have a bit about a lot of death stuff in my humor, but, like, about wanting to have open casket. Is this in this where it's like, I wanted rosy cheeks and like curly hair and little spectacles.
Kyle Mooney
No, that was not in there. But that's. Oh, but like, we should, like, kind of have one of our. One of our fans cut that together and put them right next to each other.
Beck Bennett
Oh, yeah. If you want to give permission to one of our fans, like do a
Chelsea Peretti
little open cast, I grant permission for you to cut that together.
Beck Bennett
Oh, yeah, that would be great. Let's go viral with that one.
Chelsea Peretti
That would be amazing. I always wanted to go viral.
Kyle Mooney
Have you not gone viral yet?
Beck Bennett
You must have.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't know. Yeah, no, I did. Yeah, I did. But I, you know, early on, early on, me and my brother did a couple viral things together.
Beck Bennett
Oh, really? What'd you do? Like YouTube?
Chelsea Peretti
We made this thing called Black People Love Us that was like making fun of, like, white people. And then we made a call, a phone number that was called the rejection line. And you would give it out if someone was hitting on you and it would send them to a phone tree of, like, rejection messages.
Beck Bennett
Oh, that's cool.
Chelsea Peretti
But this was like a long time. It was actually before viral media was like a thing a little bit. So kind of a deep cut and kind of early.
Beck Bennett
You're a pioneer.
Kyle Mooney
Do you think that the. Was the rejection line? Do you think it was used genuinely by people or how many people were
Chelsea Peretti
like, oh, yeah, no, we did, because we could check the messages and be like angry guys and stuff.
Kyle Mooney
Oh, that's right.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Was it always guys?
Chelsea Peretti
I mean, that's what I remember, but yeah. Because I feel like guys are the ones who ask for numbers all the time.
Kyle Mooney
Right?
Beck Bennett
Yeah, yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Right.
Kyle Mooney
I never had that. Right.
Beck Bennett
I. I honestly was like, I was. I was a real late bloomer. I like, I could not. I like.
Chelsea Peretti
When did you lose that V?
Kyle Mooney
Oh, here we go.
Chelsea Peretti
What time of day?
Beck Bennett
I was. I was 17, I think.
Chelsea Peretti
Me too.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Nice, dude. Yes, dude. What about you, Kyle?
Kyle Mooney
I think I'm 17 as well.
Beck Bennett
Wow.
Chelsea Peretti
That's a great age, by the way. Hey, if you're thinking about it and you're 16. Wait a year.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, wait a year. It's the perfect year. You're like, you feel good. You're making. You're making the choice yourself.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
It's not being made for you.
Kyle Mooney
I just remember being like, whoa, here we go.
Chelsea Peretti
And then, like, never ending.
Kyle Mooney
Working sort of.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
The issues that came after, like, mentally
Beck Bennett
for me, but yeah, yeah, yeah. What now it is. That is typically. That is the. That is the reaction for guys. Like, whoa, that's awesome. That was so quick.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Cannot believe what. What just happened. But for girls, it's. It. It's not. It's not usually the same thing. And you don't have to comment on that. We don't actually have to go into what that's like for girls. But.
Kyle Mooney
What.
Chelsea Peretti
What losing your V is.
Beck Bennett
Your V is like. Yeah. Like, would you say it's like, I don't know, random? Or is it random or awkward or Is it cool?
Chelsea Peretti
Was it cool?
Kyle Mooney
Chelsea's just, like, clarifying a lot here.
Chelsea Peretti
I feel like, was it cool to lose your virginity as a girl? Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah. Are you stupid?
Beck Bennett
Yeah, no, no. I thought it was gonna be random. Them are awkward and you're going to be like, what the hell was that? But no, but it was cool.
Chelsea Peretti
It was. Mine was kind of hot.
Beck Bennett
Oh, w. Yeah, that's great.
Chelsea Peretti
It was kind of good.
Beck Bennett
Okay, cool. You were up.
Chelsea Peretti
You immediately got so uncomfortable, woman. Just being fully sexual. You're like, cool.
Beck Bennett
Oh, no, I'm cool with that.
Chelsea Peretti
Great. That's great.
Beck Bennett
Would you like me to ask you more about that?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. Ten questions about losing your V. No,
Beck Bennett
but it was up in the bay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
In the bay. It was In a closet at the time.
Beck Bennett
No way.
Chelsea Peretti
For. Yeah. I had not standing, though. Like, I had dragged my bed into my closet so I could sleep late.
Beck Bennett
Oh, cool. So, like, really cool.
Chelsea Peretti
Like, I miss. So hard being a teenager and sleeping that late. Like, till noon.
Beck Bennett
Oh, yeah, we're talking about.
Chelsea Peretti
I get up so early now. Like 5, sometimes 6:30.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. We all have kids now.
Chelsea Peretti
You have a kid, you know, you go to bed early and you wake up early and you get that amazing, incredible.
Kyle Mooney
And I've got to ask this question.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, you have to.
Kyle Mooney
I'm curious because, like, this is something. As a new dad.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Sometimes I'm in the situation where I can sleep in. Like, I've gotten the opportunity to, like, go somewhere. Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Oh, yeah. Okay.
Kyle Mooney
Like a job or. Oh, and I can't do it.
Chelsea Peretti
I can't do it. I have that. I know. Like clockwork. I'm up. It's. No.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Even before I had a kid, like with Brooklyn Nine nine, I had early call times. I couldn't sleep late on my off days. Like, once my body is used to that.
Beck Bennett
You can't. You can't.
Kyle Mooney
And you are legendary on that show, by the way.
Chelsea Peretti
Thanks.
Kyle Mooney
I noticed that the. That your character's name sort of rhymes a little bit with your real name.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, my God.
Beck Bennett
What the hell?
Chelsea Peretti
I actually never put two and two together with that. Oh, that's weird.
Beck Bennett
Did it. Did you not put two and two together with that? Come on.
Kyle Mooney
I don't know.
Beck Bennett
I didn't.
Chelsea Peretti
That's crazy, dude. Linetti and Peretti actually do rhyme kind of.
Beck Bennett
Oh, yeah, I guess they kind of do.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't.
Kyle Mooney
You still don't trust.
Chelsea Peretti
No. That's weird, man. That's trippy, dude.
Kyle Mooney
I can't.
Beck Bennett
How old. How old is your child?
Chelsea Peretti
Eight.
Beck Bennett
Eight.
Kyle Mooney
Nice.
Beck Bennett
Wow. Okay. D1 81.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
D1 division.
Beck Bennett
One division. One eight year old. And is it. What. What's what's like the. The new thing that you're dealing with. With having.
Chelsea Peretti
With my child.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. With like. What's the new
Chelsea Peretti
God, Let me think.
Kyle Mooney
Electronic, of course. And they're all obsessed with screens.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, my God, you nailed it.
Beck Bennett
I mean, is that the thing? Are kids getting.
Chelsea Peretti
Can I get on my iPad? How about this? Break the iPad on my knee, throw it into the LA river.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
How about that? So cool.
Beck Bennett
Okay, so that's a good parenting.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Like, break it and throw it into the LA River.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. And I have them watch as each piece descends into the river. Wow.
Beck Bennett
See, that's like something I need to
Chelsea Peretti
Do I had an egret on the head.
Beck Bennett
An egret with half.
Kyle Mooney
Is that a bird?
Chelsea Peretti
Heron with the other half.
Beck Bennett
Wow.
Chelsea Peretti
And he's like crying by the LA river. And I'm like, man, do you live
Kyle Mooney
near the LA river or is this sort of a drive?
Chelsea Peretti
No, we walk. It's a. It's a pretty half day walk.
Beck Bennett
Wow.
Chelsea Peretti
But the payoff is phenomenal.
Kyle Mooney
And you've done this multiple times or once or.
Chelsea Peretti
Well, I did it once with the iPad because, yeah, he didn't have multiples,
Beck Bennett
but sounds like something you could do every weekend.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. Also have a big dumpster outside my house and anything like that he's like arguing with me about. I just toss it, chuck it through the window of the house out into the dumpster.
Beck Bennett
That is so cool. That's like. That's so badass.
Kyle Mooney
It's just nice. I love that you have boundaries because, like, for me, I'm.
Chelsea Peretti
Sometimes I'm like, yeah, no, sorry, go ahead.
Kyle Mooney
No, I didn't. I don't really have much else to say other than the fact that like, sometimes I'm like, I'll just let it slide this one time.
Chelsea Peretti
No, you can't. You gotta get a big dumpster and, you know, go to the la.
Beck Bennett
I do feel like there is so much and this may be absolutely boring, but there is.
Chelsea Peretti
Okay, skip it.
Beck Bennett
I have to. I have to. There's so much in my house.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
It's like, I do want a dumpster. I do know. I want. I'm like clearing space in my garage and one of the reasons I want to clear space in my garage is to have like a dumpster.
Chelsea Peretti
I know. This is the thing. Our garages just dumpsters. Like, everyone in LA just can't even park in their garage because they just store like 50 million pieces of.
Beck Bennett
Absolutely. It's just garbage.
Kyle Mooney
I got rat in mine.
Chelsea Peretti
I have ratchet outside and there's really no way to get rid of rats. Yeah, my.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, my.
Kyle Mooney
I have a situation where we have. We've had somebody come and it's like, yes, it's taken care of.
Chelsea Peretti
Same.
Kyle Mooney
But it's never taken care of.
Chelsea Peretti
No. They have a million places to hide. Like, they're just part of the landscape.
Beck Bennett
We got somebody that got rid of our rats for good. What?
Chelsea Peretti
Hold on.
Beck Bennett
What? And I will get the number for you guys.
Kyle Mooney
What's.
Chelsea Peretti
What's he doing?
Beck Bennett
It's a whole company.
Kyle Mooney
I see. I can see it now.
Chelsea Peretti
What about the rat catcher?
Beck Bennett
That.
Kyle Mooney
That's good.
Chelsea Peretti
Did you watch that?
Beck Bennett
I know what Is that.
Chelsea Peretti
Isn't that the name? The Raw doll? Like, there's a. I feel like Wesley Anderson directed it.
Kyle Mooney
I don't remember Witches, which has, like. I think the little boy turns into a mouse, maybe.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, yeah, That's a little different.
Beck Bennett
That's not what she was thinking about.
Kyle Mooney
And, yeah, look at me.
Beck Bennett
Oh, yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Just any piece of art. Any piece of art that referenced any rodent whatsoever.
Kyle Mooney
Written by Roald Dahl. It was written by Roald Dahl.
Chelsea Peretti
It's like. Okay, it's still stretch.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, it's still a really big stretch. Kyle. That was. You didn't have to do that.
Chelsea Peretti
Disgusting.
Beck Bennett
You don't. You don't like what you're drinking.
Chelsea Peretti
This is like a passion fruit matcha tonic or something. It was absolutely wretched.
Beck Bennett
Ew. I'm so sorry.
Chelsea Peretti
It's, like, bitter.
Beck Bennett
That's disgusting.
Chelsea Peretti
This is a shot of espresso. Anyone want to do a shot?
Beck Bennett
I have coffee right here. Cheers to.
Kyle Mooney
Cheers.
Chelsea Peretti
To life.
Beck Bennett
To always. To always being so great to have you.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, my God.
Kyle Mooney
Here, Chelsea. And.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, there we go.
Kyle Mooney
Come a little closer.
Chelsea Peretti
Sorry.
Kyle Mooney
All gravy.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Now, Chelsea, we were talking for a sec outside about your writing time at SNL for a second.
Chelsea Peretti
Well, first of all. Okay, go. You go.
Beck Bennett
No, no, I was just gonna say how you don't remember when you were
Kyle Mooney
there, but it was 2013 right here.
Chelsea Peretti
Really?
Kyle Mooney
It must have been right before, like, the spring before we arrived.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, that's crazy.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. How long were you there for?
Chelsea Peretti
Two ships in the night.
Beck Bennett
Two ships in the night. Two shits in the night.
Chelsea Peretti
Two shits on the night.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Why not?
Chelsea Peretti
Why not say that?
Beck Bennett
Yeah, why not do that? We all know what it means.
Kyle Mooney
Shits on the night.
Beck Bennett
Two shits on the night. On.
Chelsea Peretti
I should have stuck with Ann and
Beck Bennett
two shits in my pants.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. No. Snl.
Beck Bennett
What a.
Chelsea Peretti
What a world.
Beck Bennett
What a world. Were you there for a year?
Chelsea Peretti
No, I was there for like a week or something. Two weeks, I guess.
Beck Bennett
Two weeks.
Chelsea Peretti
Two shits in the knife. That's right. That's a good mnemonic to remember. I was there for two weeks.
Kyle Mooney
So you were a guest. A guest writer.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. And do you know who Myers recently was? Like that. I always think it's just so crazy that you were offered a writing job there and you turned it down. I go, I didn't. Oh, that didn't happen. And he's like, no, it definitely happened. I go, I feel like I would remember that.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Isn't that weird?
Beck Bennett
What do you think? The miscommunication Was. Was it like, did you like.
Chelsea Peretti
I have no idea. I mean, they are so funny.
Beck Bennett
It is. They're also pretty bad at communication.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. Really?
Beck Bennett
You know, like, there's. There are like, a lot of stories where people will be like, I don't know if I got the job after meeting with Lauren.
Chelsea Peretti
Really?
Beck Bennett
And he's like, well, you know, when you're here and, you know, you know, you'll just stay and, you know, I
Chelsea Peretti
used to intern there too, in. In college. My junior year of college, I interned in Lauren's office and I, like, stocked his Amstel lights.
Kyle Mooney
Wow.
Chelsea Peretti
And I guarded his door. Does someone still do that? It was so dumb. It's like, why don't you just put a lock on the door? No disrespect to Lauren. Cool plan.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
So, so much respect to Lauren. No disrespect.
Chelsea Peretti
Cool plan. Not to put a lock on the door.
Beck Bennett
But, like, it's. It's a power. Like, if you could have a whole person instead of standing there like a
Chelsea Peretti
young child standing there.
Beck Bennett
So you were like, you were a Lornette.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, kind of. Except for. Not. Because everyone was blonde in his sphere except me. And I was like a brunette and a weirdo.
Kyle Mooney
And like, did you interact with Lauren at all in that?
Chelsea Peretti
I mean, I don't even remember any real interactions, but.
Beck Bennett
So that was after Kroll show, before
Kyle Mooney
you interned after the writing job?
Chelsea Peretti
No, before. Before Kroll show and before the writing job. Like when I was in college and that other stuff was later.
Beck Bennett
Sorry, the writing job. The two weeks though, that was after Crow Show?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. Oh, I don't know where it was in relation to Kroll Show. Why does that matter?
Beck Bennett
I don't know. Because you're on Kroll show and Kroll show was a big. That was a cool thing. I don't know. I'm a Crow show.
Chelsea Peretti
Which pieces did you write Unborn in relation to Kroll Show.
Beck Bennett
So when was Kroll show as far
Chelsea Peretti
as you got ad, you got BC and you got ks.
Kyle Mooney
But honestly, what was the Kroll show writers room like?
Beck Bennett
Yeah,
Kyle Mooney
I'm just imagining you guys going
Beck Bennett
off
Kyle Mooney
just like bit after a bit coming up. I mean, and you got to come up with a new character for. Are you coming up with the characters?
Chelsea Peretti
You know, my thing on Crow Show, I was obsessive in pitching. Like, I don't know if you have people like this that you've been around in writers rooms, but, like, you ever latch on to an idea and you just keep pitching it, like. Yeah, so I. I was obsessed with Cake Train, this idea of throwing cakes off a train to people. Like, you know, like, was sort of supposed to be like a zombie thing. Like, you know, everyone's, like, washing dishes, like, having a work meeting, you hear, and it's like, cake Train. And then you run out of your house and people are throwing cakes off a train or whatever. I pitched that so many times. I don't know why. And then it did get made. It was the most expensive sketch. It was. Zach Galifianakis was the conductor.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
You know him? Galifianaki.
Kyle Mooney
I've met him. I don't know him.
Beck Bennett
I don't even know if I've met him. I don't think I.
Chelsea Peretti
Who do you really know, though?
Beck Bennett
You know? Right? I mean, that's actually really important. Public Zach or Private Zach, you know?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. So to be a third mic on this show, we could. I feel like you guys need a female touch.
Beck Bennett
I do think so.
Kyle Mooney
We already. You're already offering a lot of new perspective.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, I. Yeah, I. I'm gonna say right now one of the most fun episodes I've ever had.
Kyle Mooney
I feel like, could stop right now.
Chelsea Peretti
Let's end it.
Kyle Mooney
Let's do it.
Beck Bennett
Wait, wait, let me ask you. Wait, let me ask you about pro show. When.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, yeah, we didn't get get into. Really into.
Beck Bennett
Was that, like, before you had a kid?
Chelsea Peretti
I. I think so, yes.
Beck Bennett
More crow show timeline stuff.
Chelsea Peretti
Crow show. It was fun, but it. It was also funny watching Nick try to keep everyone on task, you know?
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
And then what else?
Kyle Mooney
I was gonna.
Beck Bennett
Hello.
Kyle Mooney
It's like the hook. Hello. Yeah.
Beck Bennett
No, this is. She's amazing. I. I was hoping she would do this.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. I.
Beck Bennett
No notice. She's like. And this is, like. This is kind of the brand. It's like the style.
Kyle Mooney
This couldn't sustain the breath. This is her trying to come up with a. A memory from working at CR Show.
Chelsea Peretti
Well, one really funny thing was, like, I did. I forget which character. I think Farley. You know, this crazy woman.
Beck Bennett
Love Farley.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. And Andre Brower, when I got it, Brooklyn nine.
Beck Bennett
Nine.
Chelsea Peretti
May he rest in peace.
Kyle Mooney
Rest in peace.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
He was like. Your accent really spans the globe about my accent. Like, I've never been good at accents, and I was just like, thank you, maestro.
Beck Bennett
That's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Meaning it was bad.
Beck Bennett
Meaning it was bad.
Chelsea Peretti
It was patchy all.
Beck Bennett
But you were having fun with it. That's the whole. That's the, like, accents, like, when we did accents. I'm not good at them at snl. Like, you're not. They're not supposed to be, like, great. Like, you're not supposed to be, like, hitting it perfectly. You're supposed to just be having fun.
Chelsea Peretti
Right? That's cool.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Yeah. Now I gotta. I can.
Kyle Mooney
I mean, we just spent about 19 minutes on the Crawl show. Yeah.
Beck Bennett
What was it like having sex?
Chelsea Peretti
Was it freaky? Dizzy? Being a girly? Was it scary for girls? Because, like, girls. Hey, girls must be so scared when they have sex.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Because the guy's got a huge penis.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
We don't. You really don't have to. That scares me.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. That's cool.
Kyle Mooney
It's like this is kind of like. He goes. He goes on these. He goes on one of his backgrounds.
Chelsea Peretti
He's like, I've got a woman in a closed door room. You know, it's like, whoa, roll up my sleeves.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, yeah. Your. Your Coffee album.
Chelsea Peretti
Yes.
Beck Bennett
So funny.
Kyle Mooney
I remember hearing it when it came out. I loved it. Yeah, it's so. It's produced so well.
Chelsea Peretti
Thank you. Kojak. My friend, my buddy, I love Kojak. He now lives in Santa Fe. Yeah, I just went out there and visited him. But, yeah, we never fully finished it. We have songs, like. I have a song with Richard Marks that we never released.
Beck Bennett
Whoa, whoa.
Chelsea Peretti
And a song with Juliet Lewis that I don't think we ever released.
Kyle Mooney
There is a song with Juliet Lewis out there, but.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, okay. We did release that. No, we did.
Beck Bennett
Okay.
Chelsea Peretti
That got out great. As I was seeing. I was like, did we. It's. It was a long time ago. It was a lot of trauma.
Beck Bennett
It's so. It's so fun. I mean, like, Oat milk is so funny and good and BDR is that. Yeah, yeah. It's like. They're all these different.
Chelsea Peretti
Kathleen, Hannah.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, they're all these different genres and they're so, like, they're very. They capture the genres very well. They feel like these. You know what I mean? They're like these individual. Like, they're just. It's good music.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, I. I've always. Always loved music. And I think it's music.
Chelsea Peretti
I know it's something like you tap your toe to it a little bit.
Beck Bennett
Well, I mean, yeah, you bob your
Kyle Mooney
head around, but I. Is an amazing way to express yourself. And like. I don't know, it just.
Beck Bennett
It.
Kyle Mooney
It's. Even when I'm like, walking around the house, I'll listen to it.
Chelsea Peretti
You. So you're able to do both, like, walk.
Beck Bennett
I, Like, I. I'll walk outside, though.
Kyle Mooney
Absolutely.
Chelsea Peretti
I Mean, my thing was, like, I. We started making it, and there were much more, like, funny songs. I was like, this sounds annoying. So then we just started making good songs, and then it was like, really, like, I was like, isn't it funnier if it's a good song about coffee? But, like, yeah. I don't know ultimately what the. What the answer is. Yeah, but it was a real rabbit hole. I mean, we went like. It was like eight months, and then the pandemic hit, and I was like, why did I spend the last three months, you know, when I could have
Beck Bennett
been doing that now? Perfect thing to do during a pandemic.
Chelsea Peretti
Well, kind of, except, like, I wasn't going near Kozak during that time. So, like, it was annoying.
Kyle Mooney
Do you want to make more music? Music?
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't know. The thing was, like, I actually don't think I'm that good of a singer, so, like, I never wanted to really go on tour or anything.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Have you performed it? The.
Chelsea Peretti
I haven't really. I was going to try to do, like, some sort of thing, and then it all got sidelined by the.
Beck Bennett
I really think you should.
Chelsea Peretti
Interesting.
Beck Bennett
I really think you should do it. I think you should make more music.
Kyle Mooney
Absolutely.
Beck Bennett
I. I make, like, we make. We make some music. That's what this is for. And it's. I. I've. It's just, like, fun to, like.
Chelsea Peretti
Let's make something.
Beck Bennett
You want to make some?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Okay.
Chelsea Peretti
Throw down sort of a tune.
Kyle Mooney
Can I ask you a question while I set this up?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. And what was it like to lose your virginity?
Beck Bennett
Like.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Because you haven't answered it yet.
Chelsea Peretti
Like, really, what was it like?
Kyle Mooney
I'm just curious. Like, kind of. Yeah. I mean, who was the. Who was the other person? What was their deal? Like, it's more just like, kind of background. I don't need to know about the act. Like, that's.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, we all. Because we all know what's going on,
Chelsea Peretti
but, like, he was an actor, actually.
Kyle Mooney
Oh, really?
Chelsea Peretti
A theater actor.
Beck Bennett
That's the bat. The best kind.
Chelsea Peretti
It was beautiful. He kind of looked like Ethan Hawke.
Beck Bennett
Could he sing?
Chelsea Peretti
I don't know.
Kyle Mooney
You grew up with Andy. Our friend Andy Samberg.
Chelsea Peretti
That's right. Big crush.
Kyle Mooney
Really?
Chelsea Peretti
Big crush on him in elementary school.
Beck Bennett
Really?
Chelsea Peretti
You know what's weird? I liked his butt.
Beck Bennett
Wow.
Chelsea Peretti
In elementary school.
Kyle Mooney
I imagine you told him that. In some.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't know if I ever did. Hey, Andy. What's up?
Beck Bennett
What's up, Chelsea? Liked your butt in elementary school. How many grades apart, were you Guys.
Chelsea Peretti
Guess we were in the same grade.
Beck Bennett
Great.
Chelsea Peretti
Why do I look 5,000 years older than him?
Beck Bennett
You must. Were you his teacher or something?
Chelsea Peretti
Were you 10 years older?
Beck Bennett
I just imagine that it couldn't have been same grade. Just like that seems too perfect. Yeah, but like, how many kids in
Chelsea Peretti
class was a class size you're weird ass interview.
Beck Bennett
And then, like, did you see people in the hallway?
Chelsea Peretti
We didn't have halls that we had, like, classes that were outside.
Beck Bennett
That's crazy, man.
Chelsea Peretti
Okay, how do I turn my cans down a little bit? No, now it's quiet. Really quiet.
Beck Bennett
I. I have asked people before how big their schools were because I had a huge school.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't know how big it was. And it's expanded since I went there.
Beck Bennett
Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'll look into it.
Kyle Mooney
Okay, okay, okay.
Chelsea Peretti
Turn it up a little bit more. Not to be like a rapper.
Beck Bennett
How big was your school? How many kids?
Chelsea Peretti
Too big. We have to rap. You're wrapping.
Beck Bennett
No, no, no. No rapping. Rapping's too much.
Chelsea Peretti
I'll sing the hook if you're gonna rap.
Beck Bennett
We could just like throw around some ideas and whatever sticks.
Chelsea Peretti
He's like. But basically something about crochet or your virginity within.
Beck Bennett
Were you on crochet when you lost your virginity in your school with so many kids? When you're looking at Andy's big bold butt, did you like the way it moved in the. Hal didn't have hallways.
Kyle Mooney
I guess my question was. Was just like, good warm up.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Good warm up.
Kyle Mooney
I mean, do you think I feel like there are a lot of. I've known Beck since college I've known
Chelsea Peretti
Beck since college Known Beck since college Known back since college I've known back since college I've known since college Beck since college College since college since college
Beck Bennett
Known Beck since college Chelsea's known Andy
Chelsea Peretti
since college Big butt since college since college. Since college Andy's but since college Known Kyle since college. Song has so much meaning.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Back in the day studying my books
Beck Bennett
A little boy with outrageous looks.
Chelsea Peretti
Wow.
Kyle Mooney
Keep going.
Chelsea Peretti
I want to go into that world that sci fi ass world the name
Kyle Mooney
is Captain Mulda from the planet sorrow I've come from the land that we call tomorrow so set your clocks back and join my machine As I take you to a land that I call
Beck Bennett
dreams Anything can happen when you're dreaming in your dreams Dreams Anything can happen when you're dreaming in your dreams A little off there.
Kyle Mooney
I remember the time I first started traveling through stars and space My mind was unraveling by the way, I'm very small, Just a little tiny guy. Miniature wise, I'm only about two apples high.
Beck Bennett
Anything can happen in your dream Dreams those apples. Anything can happen when you're dreaming in your dream Two apples many, many men.
Kyle Mooney
Sometimes you lose your virginity what does
Chelsea Peretti
it feel like when you lose that precious bee?
Beck Bennett
What does it feel like downstairs between your legs? Describe that feeling. Oh, my God.
Chelsea Peretti
There's a rhyme right there.
Kyle Mooney
Hairs, hairs long and hairs so short I was fucking but now I have to abort I'm running late for my
Beck Bennett
tea party and now I get. And now I'm no longer hardy. Anything can happen happen in your dreams Come on. And we're gonna wrap it. Anything can happen happen in your Dr. Beautiful.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Pretty good.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, we got it.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, we got it.
Kyle Mooney
I feel like it's. It's nice. It is 4:20. We're recording on four.
Beck Bennett
Oh, really?
Kyle Mooney
That. This gave. This made me feel like we were sort of hitting the ball to a little bit.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, I got. I got pretty lifted there.
Kyle Mooney
Did you ever smoke weed?
Chelsea Peretti
Pretty good. It reminds me of Reading Rainbow.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Yeah. It's a little like a little David
Kyle Mooney
chance to get in a verse. Do you want to get.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't really feel like rapping.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, you don't have to know.
Chelsea Peretti
I'm not a rapper. I like. I like you doing that, though. You were really, like, invested.
Beck Bennett
Kyle was a. Kyle's a big rapper.
Chelsea Peretti
Your eyes were lit up. I was like, take me where you're going. I. I really believed it.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. You were in the lock in. I kind of. I kind of like to sing.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, I like singing. I like singing. It's my house. I mean, I would rap off camera.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Do you.
Kyle Mooney
Do you like, Like, I'll do the audio.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, the camera. Rapping. Do you. Do you, like, make songs? Do you like. I mean, I know you make songs, but do you like, sing songs all the time? Like, are you always.
Chelsea Peretti
Do you.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, like, I'm always like, like my
Chelsea Peretti
friend from junior high, whenever she comes to visit, we are singing like nine.
Kyle Mooney
Making up lyrics.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. Do you.
Beck Bennett
Do you have stuff to, like, record? Like make like make beats or anything?
Chelsea Peretti
It's just like, aside from my podcast, I used to send Koj. The whole reason we made a coffee album is I used to like, on my podcast, I would send him, like, me just singing acapella when I was on the road doing comedy because, you know, you'd like, lose your mind. Have you guys toured with your show?
Beck Bennett
No, no, Kyle's toured With his. His album, by the way. You can. You can leave your. You can leave your headphones on. We're taking ours.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh,
Kyle Mooney
I liked it. Yeah. Yeah, it was last summer.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, that's perfect.
Chelsea Peretti
Do you not want it in the background? Felt that air of transgressing.
Kyle Mooney
So you would, like, record voice memos
Chelsea Peretti
and send them, and I would send them, and he would just add beats, and then I would play them on my podcast. But then we were like, we should make an album.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Yeah, I do that with my buddy Gabe. Gabe Noel. If you know Gabe Noel, I grew up with him.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, that's right.
Kyle Mooney
That's kind of.
Beck Bennett
Anything can happen when you're friends with Gabe. When you're friends with Gabe. No Gab.
Chelsea Peretti
No. You're being a major Gabe Nole. You ever say that to him?
Beck Bennett
Stop being such a gab. Such a Gabe.
Chelsea Peretti
No, dude.
Beck Bennett
No. I will now, though. Yeah, you can. It's applicable.
Kyle Mooney
It sounds like a hole.
Chelsea Peretti
Gay hole.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
I would be nervous to say that.
Chelsea Peretti
I'm fine with it.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, you can say it. Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Do you think there's something about, though, like.
Beck Bennett
And I.
Kyle Mooney
This is. Might say this will sound corny, actually.
Chelsea Peretti
Okay.
Kyle Mooney
But, like, when you come up with something, it's like the fact that you've known Andy for so long, I feel like there's a lot of this that exists. Like friends that end up.
Chelsea Peretti
I know. I wish I went to nyu because I feel like everyone I love went to nyu. Like, everyone's careers that seem great went to nyu. I'm like, Barnard. You.
Beck Bennett
Oh, you went to Barnard.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, Yeah.
Beck Bennett
I had a girlfriend.
Chelsea Peretti
Barnyard. More like Barnyard. Moo. You shouldn't have went there.
Kyle Mooney
Oh, get out of the way.
Chelsea Peretti
Get out the way.
Kyle Mooney
Get out of this. Moo. Get out the hay.
Beck Bennett
Lay it down. Get out the hay.
Chelsea Peretti
Get out there.
Beck Bennett
That's good.
Kyle Mooney
I think that's all we have.
Chelsea Peretti
That's really good. There's. There's definitely more.
Beck Bennett
I agree. My wife went to NYU and she's. I'm friends with a lot of her friends that went to NYU and they're all successful. They're all doing very.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, it seems like. I don't know why. Something in the water.
Beck Bennett
I don't know why.
Chelsea Peretti
I feel really weird without my headphones now. Do you.
Kyle Mooney
You want to put them on?
Chelsea Peretti
I don't want to, but I'm good with that. Do you feel like, suddenly a little naked?
Kyle Mooney
They're not going to just.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. Like a naked mole rat.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, I feel like a little naked.
Kyle Mooney
Do you. Oh, I had such a amazing thing.
Beck Bennett
I have an amazing thing to say.
Kyle Mooney
Okay, you want me to think. You want me to.
Beck Bennett
You did a sign up. Wait.
Kyle Mooney
But mine is. Mine is very relevant.
Chelsea Peretti
He tells the same anecdote about past apps.
Kyle Mooney
So there's funny.
Beck Bennett
Okay. Were you gonna tell the past app the thing?
Kyle Mooney
I. I did. Just want to clarify. I made him sound, like, British or something like that. He was just a Nor.
Chelsea Peretti
I prefer not.
Beck Bennett
I'd rather you not. I'd rather not. Excuse me.
Kyle Mooney
Do you happen to have any gray poo poem? What did you study at Bernard?
Chelsea Peretti
God, you know, I feel like I had. I, I, I majored in English with a writing concentration. That's what it was.
Kyle Mooney
Oh, wow.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Served you well.
Chelsea Peretti
Worked out.
Beck Bennett
You're.
Kyle Mooney
You're so great at English.
Chelsea Peretti
Thank you.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. You're amazing. The way that you're able to just like, just talk.
Chelsea Peretti
Watch this. Oh, I came from B. See what?
Beck Bennett
Those were new words.
Chelsea Peretti
I know before, like, I was going to try to say really fast sentence. I just said sounds.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Watch this.
Kyle Mooney
Okay.
Beck Bennett
Barner, people.
Chelsea Peretti
What was Chris Kattan's character?
Kyle Mooney
He was always a Mr. Peepers.
Chelsea Peretti
I just.
Kyle Mooney
And did he ever come to the offices when you were interning?
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, God, I can't remember. I remember Sherry o' Terry because I loved her when I was in high school. I was like, she's a God. And then I felt like it was just. It was weird. Like, I was just like, SNL was crazy because as a high school student, you're like, it's the happiest place on Earth.
Beck Bennett
And then you go in there, it's like, yes, absolutely. Like, good nights. And it's like, oh, you're all on stage hugging each other. Yeah, it must be the best.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
And like, the first couple years were like, I don't know who my. I'm out of my body. Yeah, No, I know. It's just like. It's just like. It's so hard when you're there. And I would get a little rig
Chelsea Peretti
where they just lift me straight up
Beck Bennett
out of the good night.
Chelsea Peretti
Someone goes to hug you and you're
Beck Bennett
like, no, no, no, I'm out of here.
Chelsea Peretti
Hydraulics.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, there's. I mean, I feel like you're getting it. There's also the thing of searching for a hug. You know what I mean? Like, where you're like, yeah, you're looking
Chelsea Peretti
and then, you know it's on camera. That's so scary.
Beck Bennett
And the camera's on you doing.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, no. Like hugging someone's back. You're hugging them from behind.
Beck Bennett
Quick. Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
And then like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Hey, come on.
Beck Bennett
That's you looking at the camera.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, that's.
Chelsea Peretti
Go to sleep, guys. You. You're like promoing your friend's shirt company.
Kyle Mooney
I was going to say interrupted your.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, no, it's okay. I saw your name on the, the marquee at the Elysian.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, I worked last night.
Beck Bennett
Great.
Chelsea Peretti
You know, it's cool. I'm just trying to keep up with, you know, the alt right. Legends playing msg.
Beck Bennett
You know, I gotta try to keep
Chelsea Peretti
my hat in the game. I did my hour. I have not done a ton of stand up in recent years and sort of gotten almost like a phobia of it. So it was, it was good to do.
Kyle Mooney
Well, let's hear the best bet.
Chelsea Peretti
So basically, no, I, I never. I'm not that kind of person.
Kyle Mooney
Do people do that?
Chelsea Peretti
I guess some people are like that. Like, I always feel like Sarah Silverman, like, if you were like, do this bit, she would do it or something. I. I feel so, like, if someone's like, do something, I'm like, I'm not
Beck Bennett
going to do that. It's not going to be good, it's going to be bad.
Kyle Mooney
What is your.
Beck Bennett
It's all uncomfortable.
Kyle Mooney
Corny. Again. I feel like I'm asking a basic question here, but what is your writing process for standup?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, I think of a lot of things in the shower.
Kyle Mooney
And then you go. And then you go.
Chelsea Peretti
Any questions about women in showers?
Beck Bennett
So, like, washing your body, Is it just regular show?
Chelsea Peretti
Are your tits extra slippery?
Kyle Mooney
I don't want to do that stuff anymore.
Beck Bennett
I know.
Chelsea Peretti
Okay, fine. I. I'll lay off this. I'll lay off this. I don't want to over sexualize my sex itself.
Beck Bennett
No, no, I love it. It's great. I think we're all on the same page.
Chelsea Peretti
But also like, I feel like. I don't know if you have this, but like friends that are like, you just laugh so much with certain friends, but they don't work in comedy. And so, you know, they just. Every time you hang out with them, you wind up writing down where you're like, yeah, I don't know. Like, I feel like when you hang out with comedy people, any joke you share, it's almost like, whose is this?
Beck Bennett
Right?
Chelsea Peretti
Who gets to keep this? Or something. Not that I'm like stealing jokes for my. I'm sweating.
Beck Bennett
Well, like, people are also trying to be funny. So there aren't like things that are just happening.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, exactly.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Your Friends say stuff or do you have an interaction? It's like, what is that?
Chelsea Peretti
Certain people bring out my silliest side, where I feel really, like, creative, and then I just, like, think of stuff. Is she taking notes on what I'm saying?
Beck Bennett
I know.
Kyle Mooney
I will start hanging out with more friends.
Chelsea Peretti
Like a doctor, an intake thing. They're like, you mind if use AI for this?
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Anyway, so sort of like, it comes alive on stage.
Chelsea Peretti
I imagine that's the other thing. So I record my sets, like, in a voice note, and then I listen to it, and that's when I. I notice, oh, I improvised throughout, you know, riff, as it were.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
And tag things and stuff in the moment, there's nothing like having your back against the wall to make you think of a tag. You know what I mean? Like, how'd it go yesterday? It was good. It. The thing that's weird is it was hot. Hot in the room. I was on stage, I go, it's. Is it hot in here? And they're like, yes, the audience. And that's the second venue in LA where I've been, like, hot on stage. And I'm like, this is a new thing. I think it's like an economy thing. Like, people aren't seeing the venues.
Beck Bennett
We don't have money.
Chelsea Peretti
It's not good for comedy. Like a hot room. People are like.
Kyle Mooney
I feel like. Because SNL was very cold, and I remember.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, yeah. Like an ice box.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, absolutely.
Kyle Mooney
But I remember hearing, like, somebody say that Letterman, I think it was Letterman, kept his studio cold. Like, there's something.
Chelsea Peretti
There's a thing about it with comedy.
Kyle Mooney
People laugh more when they're like,
Beck Bennett
Here he is. Yeah, it's true.
Chelsea Peretti
That's why I'm doing my next special. I'm shooting it at the top of Mount Everest.
Beck Bennett
Oh, my God, that's so brave. That's going to be funny.
Chelsea Peretti
Some of the best crafts ads you can get, half of them are frozen block cadavers.
Beck Bennett
At least they're showing up.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
It's hard to get people out to live comedy these days.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. But it's funny because, as I'm saying, all this, like, me and my friend Moshe, we used to have this joke of, like, when you're like, how'd your set go? And it's like, well, the room wasn't hot. And we get it. You bumped.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. The room wasn't the perfect temperature, so I don't really know.
Chelsea Peretti
It was kind of a. I really actually don't like long rooms for comedy. You Know where it's. It's like. It's a rectangular shape, and it goes back as, like. I feel like you're not able to connect with the people in the back or something. And, like, but any parameter where you're like, well, the venue, this or that.
Kyle Mooney
We get it.
Chelsea Peretti
You bombed, right?
Beck Bennett
You bought it. Has nothing to do with the venue. Are you in the beginning of this process of getting.
Chelsea Peretti
I'm thinking about touring. Yeah. I think I might tour in the fall.
Beck Bennett
Cool.
Kyle Mooney
This is an exclusive. You've never told anyone, I imagine, and we're sort of getting the first dibs.
Chelsea Peretti
I did tell Blair Sochi on her podcast recently.
Kyle Mooney
That's funny. That's. That's funny.
Beck Bennett
You heard him for the second time.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Awesome.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah. So how did that conversation go? I was curious.
Chelsea Peretti
With Blair. It's a clip. You can see it.
Beck Bennett
No, I'm just kidding.
Kyle Mooney
I think we've actually done really well. I think we can move to the next.
Beck Bennett
I think we can. I think we can. Can ask you what you think our podcast should be about.
Chelsea Peretti
Okay.
Beck Bennett
So you can try it.
Chelsea Peretti
It's gonna be called Deletion.
Beck Bennett
Deletion.
Kyle Mooney
Deletion.
Chelsea Peretti
Okay, okay, okay. Depending how you want to say it. You can say, like, delicious,
Beck Bennett
Right? That's what's cool about it.
Chelsea Peretti
You can say it so many ways.
Beck Bennett
Amazing.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Okay.
Chelsea Peretti
So delicious.
Beck Bennett
Delicious.
Chelsea Peretti
Deletion.
Kyle Mooney
Deleting things.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. You have to stick with the word,
Kyle Mooney
but it's the process.
Chelsea Peretti
I see the name of the podcast, like, deletion. Deletions.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, that works.
Chelsea Peretti
Anyway, it's a podcast where you talk about, like, what you might wish to delete from the world and what the ramifications would be.
Beck Bennett
Oh, wow, that's very interesting. Okay, great. Well, yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Do you like Escape Rooms?
Beck Bennett
No, no, not. Well, I think if I went with the right. If I went with the right people.
Chelsea Peretti
I love them.
Beck Bennett
Do you really?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, I have the app. Morty.
Beck Bennett
You have the app?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, there's an app that. It's like Yelp for Escape rooms.
Beck Bennett
So how often are you going to Escape Rooms?
Chelsea Peretti
Well, it depends on the month, but there was a time where. Yeah, like, I was going a lot.
Kyle Mooney
See, here's my thing with the scape room. First of all, I do think there is. It's tough to be in the mid. Like. Like, in terms of your fandom of escape rooms, I feel like you're either pretty enthusiastic or you're. Or you're like, okay, I'll do it, or you're, like, not into it at all.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. People are always like, I'd be too scared or I'd be claustrophobic. I'm like, they don't lock you in. That's like, what everyone thinks is that you're locked in. You can literally walk out the door.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, Okay.
Kyle Mooney
I did not know.
Beck Bennett
I would imagine that would be kind of illegal to lock you in.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
You can't get out until you find the right key.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. It's like. No. People really think that, though.
Kyle Mooney
That'd be like Jigsaw from Saw or something.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, that'd be crazy.
Kyle Mooney
Crazy to me. I. I think it's. It's not the fear of. It's not the claustrophobia. It's that I. I feel stupid if I don't do well.
Chelsea Peretti
But if you work with a team of people, everyone has. I mean, here's my thing. Some people aren't fun to do. Are you okay? You're like this.
Beck Bennett
I was about to say something and then what?
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, I'm nervous.
Beck Bennett
I typically, back in the day, when it was like people were doing it, the people spearheading it, I was always like, they're too much. They're going to be like, running it
Chelsea Peretti
and being like, this is the thing.
Beck Bennett
You know what I mean? Like. But if I was going with the children.
Chelsea Peretti
Alpha males, alpha males ruin everything. Like, every experience sucks when you're with dudes who want to prove how smart they are and control everyone.
Beck Bennett
Right.
Chelsea Peretti
If you go with a group of people that's fun and collaborative, everyone kind of brings their own thing to it and it's super fun. And you all are like, hey, yeah, good job. Blue, Blue. And it's like. It's not like that.
Beck Bennett
That's great.
Kyle Mooney
There. I do. There is something very funny, though, about, like thinking you're discovering something and you're. You're. You're not. You know what I mean?
Chelsea Peretti
Like, that does happen a lot. Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
I've actually noticed these grape.
Chelsea Peretti
No, I know.
Beck Bennett
No, that's not a thing. That's not a clue.
Kyle Mooney
Oh, okay.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. No, and I mean, yeah, it's weird. It's like, I really love, like, physical. Finding physical things in escape rooms.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
The dumb person's role.
Kyle Mooney
Got something.
Chelsea Peretti
Can you guys figure out what this is? This. But I don't know. Anyway, and then I just started getting into little bit scary ones.
Beck Bennett
Okay. Oh, cool.
Chelsea Peretti
Like, there's one called Insane Asylum. That's really fun.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, I can imagine. The weirdos. Let us in.
Beck Bennett
Is that. Is that one where, like characters come in or.
Chelsea Peretti
No, but I have done one like that before, but I don't think it exists anymore because I tried to find it, but it was one where, like, you're in this old lady's mansion and everyone's seated at a certain chamber chair, and they're like. When the old lady comes back into the room, you all have to be in your same chairs. And so you're, like, going through all this, and then she's like, oh, I'm bringing tea. And you're like. And then she's, like, staring at everyone. It was really fun.
Beck Bennett
That's really fun.
Kyle Mooney
And was it really an old lady?
Chelsea Peretti
It was a character. Like, it was a character actor. Like a comedy person. They were like a uc.
Kyle Mooney
Okay, wait, how do we get from deletion to.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't know. I was just trying to think that
Beck Bennett
you asked us if we, like, like to escape.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, because deletions. Deletions.
Beck Bennett
Deletion.
Chelsea Peretti
Yes. I feel like it has an escape room feel to it. Just the concept, a little bit of
Kyle Mooney
deleting your brain from the world that we never deal with again. And the repercussions.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. Not like. Don't overthink it, though. It's not like that. Connected.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Okay.
Beck Bennett
Sorry.
Kyle Mooney
I was just trying to, like, kind of talk to you.
Beck Bennett
I don't know.
Chelsea Peretti
Sorry.
Beck Bennett
We're not, like, scientists, so we. We won't actually know.
Kyle Mooney
Is this a podcast?
Beck Bennett
Three camera.
Kyle Mooney
Michelle's basically Manning.
Beck Bennett
She's typing away back there.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. She's taking notes. She's, like, doing a psych eval.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, exactly.
Beck Bennett
She might be.
Kyle Mooney
I think we'll put you in the insane asylum escape room. Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Okay.
Chelsea Peretti
It's really fun. Anyway. Yeah, I think it was a tenuous connection at best, but just a little bit of that brainy. Let's go there.
Kyle Mooney
We'll be right back with Delicio
Chelsea Peretti
Foreign.
Beck Bennett
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.
Kyle Mooney
Dude.
Beck Bennett
Okay. What's up, dude? So great to be back here at the podcast.
Kyle Mooney
It's hard out here for a pimp. What was that? That was from a movie.
Beck Bennett
I think it's hard out here for a pimp.
Kyle Mooney
Hustle and Flow.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, I think it is. Yeah. With Terrence Howard.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
I was hard out here.
Kyle Mooney
I never asked you what are your favorite. What are your top three Movies.
Beck Bennett
My top three movies are probably Hook and Forrest Gump.
Kyle Mooney
Okay.
Beck Bennett
I don't know. And. And Requiem for a Dream.
Kyle Mooney
I gotta say, sometimes, you know, we do these little openings to the podcast.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
And I'm like, we have something. And I'm like, oh, we don't have anything. And I'm like, I wish there was a big button. I could just go. And the whole thing is gone.
Beck Bennett
That would be awesome. Well, let's. Let's do that on. Let's find out if that can happen. Deletion podcast. That's what it's all about. You told us. Deletion is our podcast. That's what we'll talk about with Beck and Kyle.
Kyle Mooney
All right. We have. We. I. I got to say, we have somebody here who I'd never to delete.
Beck Bennett
Absolutely.
Kyle Mooney
I wish there was a button to be like, more, more, more. Multiply, multiply, multiply, multiply.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Can you imagine if there was, like, an opposite button?
Kyle Mooney
A Chelsea Infinity.
Beck Bennett
The infinity button.
Kyle Mooney
But, yeah. Chelsea Peretti is actually who I'm referring to.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. And she is right here with us.
Kyle Mooney
Icon. How you doing, Chelsea? She's got her box.
Beck Bennett
She's got her box.
Kyle Mooney
She brought her a little box of coffee.
Beck Bennett
You know that.
Chelsea Peretti
Top of the morning, do you.
Beck Bennett
Top of the morning to you, Chelsea. We've never seen anybody do that with the. I'm serious.
Kyle Mooney
I know.
Beck Bennett
That's.
Chelsea Peretti
That's my thing always. It's like, whoa. Never sit in and do that.
Kyle Mooney
You always create a game called Props, and it.
Chelsea Peretti
That.
Kyle Mooney
And you. You grab something, be like, oh, no, my cut. My. It's huge.
Chelsea Peretti
I would play that. Do you know I used to be in an improv troupe in college?
Beck Bennett
Really?
Kyle Mooney
Is that something I. I did see, we have a.
Chelsea Peretti
You have a note. Six Milks at Columbia University.
Kyle Mooney
Oh, that's not the one.
Chelsea Peretti
Not too shabby, huh?
Kyle Mooney
I read about Variety Shack.
Beck Bennett
What was it called?
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, yeah, Variety Check.
Beck Bennett
What was it called?
Chelsea Peretti
6 milks.
Beck Bennett
6 milks.
Chelsea Peretti
Eban Moss Bakar.
Beck Bennett
Wow.
Chelsea Peretti
Was in there.
Beck Bennett
Okay.
Kyle Mooney
So do you ever kind of head over to the bear set and, like,
Chelsea Peretti
kind of, hey, man, I'm like, props.
Beck Bennett
Let's play. Let's bring back six mil,
Chelsea Peretti
Evan. Like that. I get him going like that.
Beck Bennett
But he's probably too focused, too, in character.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. He's a serious actor now.
Beck Bennett
He's a serious actor.
Chelsea Peretti
He doesn't even. He doesn't even remember being in it. Improv trip.
Beck Bennett
He doesn't remember being in an improv.
Kyle Mooney
No.
Chelsea Peretti
You like Eon e. And he's just like this. You're like, he's staring out.
Beck Bennett
Maybe he's deleted it.
Chelsea Peretti
He's done so many like portraits and stuff. Like doing press. Like he's just like kind of posing and stuff. You're like e. Yeah. You can't like break focus.
Beck Bennett
You're always there off camera trying to get him to come back.
Kyle Mooney
We met in RM improv group in college.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Really Comedus interrupt us.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. Michelle Collins. Do you know her? She was in my improv group too.
Beck Bennett
I don't know Michelle.
Chelsea Peretti
She's really funny.
Kyle Mooney
How far did you be now? Were any of these people like the director or anything like that?
Chelsea Peretti
Can't remember that. I became the leader of the group in some way.
Kyle Mooney
I don't know what the word was,
Chelsea Peretti
like toward the end and I hated it. Like I was like, oh, this sucks. Yeah. I preferred to not be in charge. Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Did you start out? Sorry? Did you start out shows like. Hey, what's the name of the group?
Chelsea Peretti
This was before Crow show, by the way.
Beck Bennett
Okay. That's what I was going to ask.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
The name of the group was Six Milks. So it's like, hey, everybody, we're Six Milks and we need a suggestion from you. All right. Can I get a non geographical location where you might not typically find a couple or that.
Chelsea Peretti
I think we like actually were a little cooler than the average. Improper.
Beck Bennett
That's cool.
Chelsea Peretti
Did you ever see Death by Ruru in New York?
Beck Bennett
Not New York. Saw them in la, but yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
They were like more. More edgier. I thought. I liked them.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
More like. Let me get a suggestion
Chelsea Peretti
or I'll give myself one. Thanks. You're like, all right. Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Punk rock.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, yeah. They wrote in on motorcycles to the stage.
Kyle Mooney
That is raw and awesome.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
And intimidating.
Chelsea Peretti
It was. And the audience like kind of had to recover for a little bit and
Beck Bennett
I feel like that would. There would be a lot of exhaust. I would think theater, a small stage
Kyle Mooney
and like you must have been like eight motorcycles or something like that.
Chelsea Peretti
Five people later died of cancer from that exhaust. And it couldn't be proven to be linked, but most likely.
Kyle Mooney
So they knew that people were affected by exhaust. They knew they were at a show where the performers wrote it on a motorcycle.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. Curtis Gwynn was. Has blood on his hands. One of the people was Kurt's gwyn, John Gamberling.
Kyle Mooney
And they couldn't prove that the deaths were associated with that specific motorcycle.
Chelsea Peretti
True.
Kyle Mooney
Interesting.
Chelsea Peretti
So if you want to kill someone.
Kyle Mooney
Well, I bet that's a moment I bet that's a moment where you want to press the delete button.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, yeah, I'd want to press the delete button there for sure.
Kyle Mooney
You know who I'm curious is? We kind of always start out our show like this, by the way, I want to get into your past and sort of like coming up in Oakland and the comedy stuff, which I think is so fascinating how you got to come. I always love when I talk to standups, because I know you guys are kind of. You're always. You're always coming up with bits together. You're talking it out. You're like, oh, you know. Yeah. Oh, my tissue. Huh? Well, you know, they got Kleenex, but that's not the name of what a tissue could just be called. Tissue. Kleenex is the brand. You know what I mean? You're always doing the, like. Kind of like riffs on what old versus new, you know, Coke and a hundred percent.
Chelsea Peretti
That's what I got into it for. That's what I love about it.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
But I want to know, and I don't want to put you on the spot, but anyone, anyone? Free for all here. Deletion. You know, that's what we're talking about today. Is there anything that you're like, I can't. I can't deal with this anymore.
Chelsea Peretti
French fries.
Beck Bennett
What are. Come on.
Chelsea Peretti
You want French fries from the face of the earth for this reason? They're good, but honestly, they're not. Like, there's better things for me. Like, if I were to indulge, it would be like carbonara, like a pasta. Like, if I have the calories on the table, I rather go for that. So French fries, they're ubiquitous. They're everywhere. Everyone's always getting. Yeah. Side of fries. Yeah. You want that with fries? Yeah. Your muscles react before your brain can say no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All gets fries with that. Then all of a sudden, before you know it, you've eaten a bunch of fries. Someone else orders fries. Can I grab a fry?
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
All of a sudden, you're eating fries every day.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
And it's just like, so why not delete it? Sure. Some kids will be crying, my child.
Kyle Mooney
Almost exclusively.
Chelsea Peretti
I know. Your kid would die.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, your kid would die. That's one of the ramifications. That's one of the ramifications. Ha.
Kyle Mooney
You think.
Chelsea Peretti
You think grandma ramifications? Oh, it's just a silly game. No, things like, there's serious things that could happen. I mean, I think ramifications.
Beck Bennett
And I think. I also think Potato chips would be everywhere.
Chelsea Peretti
I would delete plain potato chips from the face of now.
Kyle Mooney
You don't have to now.
Beck Bennett
You're coming after. Now. Potatoes are like. You're coming after potatoes.
Chelsea Peretti
I love a mashed potato. I'll keep those.
Beck Bennett
See, I don't. I can delete mashed potatoes.
Chelsea Peretti
So we'll keep mashed, and we'll delete.
Beck Bennett
Excuse me. No way, sister. Not in this world. I think. I think, think. I mean, what about. What about home fries? Yeah, basically, home fries. They can stay because they're not that good and they're not that tempting.
Chelsea Peretti
Hey, can I have a glop of your hash browns? You know, it's like.
Beck Bennett
Could I have one of your home fries?
Chelsea Peretti
Serious, dude.
Kyle Mooney
My daughter. Pass on.
Beck Bennett
He's thinking about his daughter.
Chelsea Peretti
You're still stewing over that?
Kyle Mooney
Come on.
Beck Bennett
What's the big deal? Have another one.
Chelsea Peretti
It's. Yeah, it's a pretend ramification. It's a mental exercise. All right.
Beck Bennett
Sorry.
Kyle Mooney
I thought it was real for a second.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, man.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, well, because it's. Because you have such an imagination, Kyle.
Kyle Mooney
That's true. We're on the subject of foods, and we. And we're taking swing.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
See, a lot of this is. It's, like, so subjective. It's like. This is the way I feel. Right. I don't think we need desserts.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, so I take away fries. You're gonna try to take away desserts?
Beck Bennett
You're come for Chelsea. Like, that. You're gonna come for Chelsea.
Chelsea Peretti
You're like, this likes desserts. And I can see it.
Kyle Mooney
Honest.
Chelsea Peretti
What girl doesn't?
Beck Bennett
What girl doesn't?
Chelsea Peretti
What girl doesn't?
Beck Bennett
Because this is actually because the way their bodies are. And. And, like, the. Because of the periods that they get, like, all the blood that's coming through, and they want something sweet to make the life a little bit nicer.
Kyle Mooney
I can't.
Chelsea Peretti
Deleting desserts is anti. Woman.
Kyle Mooney
All right, let's keep desserts.
Chelsea Peretti
Desserts.
Beck Bennett
Desserts.
Chelsea Peretti
Stay.
Beck Bennett
I mean, let's do this.
Chelsea Peretti
Let's delete a dessert. What would be the one you would go to if you had to?
Beck Bennett
I. I know exactly what it is. It's not panna cotta, but it could be. But it. What's the creme brulee? I don't need creme brulee.
Kyle Mooney
It's never very specific. I'm fine. I'm thinking broader. I think, like, cakes could go. What the.
Beck Bennett
What are you talking about? Dude, that's birthday ice cream.
Kyle Mooney
You got cookies. Like, that's Fine.
Chelsea Peretti
I make a song about cakes right now. No, don't delete cakes.
Beck Bennett
Don't do. I would rather. But I would probably rather like, anytime
Kyle Mooney
I, like, kind of have one of my deletion ideas. It gets shot down immediately.
Beck Bennett
Well, can you, like, come up with a better one?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, like creme brulee. Listen, I like it, but I'm like, okay, fair enough.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, cakes.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, all cakes. You're not even seeing flavor.
Beck Bennett
Okay, so what's gonna happen? You get rid of cakes. Do you know, like, we wouldn't really be celebrating birthdays anymore.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, you're like, happy birthday to you.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
A big old cookie.
Beck Bennett
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Happy birthday, big old cook. Because the person's so sad because it's their birthday.
Kyle Mooney
A big old sundae, ice cream sundae. Everybody has a. Has a bit of it. You grab a scoop.
Beck Bennett
Oh, yeah, you're out. You're out at the park. You have the Sunday, like, let's bring out the sundae for a little Mikey. And then it's all melted. It's a big pile of this world they've create.
Kyle Mooney
They've created special little freezer coolers.
Chelsea Peretti
No, this isn't additions. This isn't additions. This is the existing world. You can't add tech. You can't add tech.
Kyle Mooney
Heck.
Beck Bennett
Okay, okay, okay. How about this podcast?
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, I have a song. Delete this podcast. But it.
Beck Bennett
Delete it. Delete this. No, I don't have full.
Chelsea Peretti
Like, I could send you the song.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, you can. She could just sing it. She could just sing. She could riff on it.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't remember how it goes, except. Delete this podcast.
Beck Bennett
Delete this. Delete this podcast. That's all I got. People just talking, passing their lives by, talking and talking. Delete this podcast.
Chelsea Peretti
The clips aren't funny. You're all laughing in the clip, but the clip is not funny. That makes me so angry. I'm watching you laugh and sell something that is nothing at all.
Beck Bennett
Nothing at all.
Chelsea Peretti
Not your guys's clips. What other people's clips? Lips.
Kyle Mooney
Name names, please.
Beck Bennett
Just name a name for us. Name names.
Chelsea Peretti
I love to. It's the entirety of the community and everyone is making shitty content. Most people suck.
Beck Bennett
Yes. That's perfect.
Kyle Mooney
That was great.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
And thank you for saying that.
Beck Bennett
I would like to delete. I mean, I had the thought to delete Chris clothes, but I would not.
Chelsea Peretti
You be naked, right? I went straight to your dick. You know, you must have a big ass dick boy.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, yeah, that's.
Kyle Mooney
Immediately I was like, maybe we can keep Just a little tiny tang. Maybe just keep a.
Beck Bennett
Invent a new piece of clothing.
Kyle Mooney
Just like something like this.
Chelsea Peretti
Guess what?
Kyle Mooney
You can use patch.
Chelsea Peretti
You can use leaves.
Beck Bennett
That.
Chelsea Peretti
That would exist in our world, but, like, leaves.
Kyle Mooney
The deletion leaves.
Beck Bennett
Leaves would be huge in this world.
Chelsea Peretti
We.
Kyle Mooney
We can't add.
Chelsea Peretti
Or. His would be a little tiny leaf.
Kyle Mooney
So I have a very tiny guy, but that actually. But that actually has made me better.
Chelsea Peretti
And his would be a little tiny leaf of thy. Or rose. Oh, he's crying. He's crying. I'm not crying. He is actually crying, you guys. He actually is crying.
Beck Bennett
He cries in most episodes.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, I don't. He's. He's always with me.
Chelsea Peretti
I just.
Kyle Mooney
Thinking about the whole idea of the podcast.
Beck Bennett
It's okay. It's okay.
Chelsea Peretti
He's laughing. He really does cry every up.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, he gets. He gets, like, really hurt.
Chelsea Peretti
Does he always try to, like, act like he's laughing over.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Rochelle set up this light, and we're not usually in the small studio, so it's, like, affecting me a little bit. But. No, it's.
Beck Bennett
It's okay.
Kyle Mooney
I was just thinking about what you were saying earlier about all this growing up in Oakland.
Chelsea Peretti
God, it's. Why are you so sad? Like, what happened? Oh, because your dick is small. I literally forgot.
Beck Bennett
No, no, but I've seen it, and it's f. You have a fantastic one. Have you? No, I don't think I have, actually. I couldn't see it. I looked, but it wasn't there.
Chelsea Peretti
So you would delete clothing? One of the best. Arguably one of the best inventions.
Beck Bennett
I actually. I take it back. I love clothes. It was just a thought I had. And this is. I just thought. I thought I'd put it out there to the group, see what happens.
Kyle Mooney
This is. Is in this timeline, like, clothes. Clothes have existed.
Chelsea Peretti
Right?
Kyle Mooney
Like. Like, are we reacting to the fact that we no longer have clothes? You know what I'm saying? Because you said I can't have a machine, like a specific cooler made for my ice cream sun.
Chelsea Peretti
Right.
Kyle Mooney
Which implies that we're like, yeah, you can't. But can. But are we aware that clothes existed in the deletion?
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, that's a great question. This is why you would be an asset in an escape room.
Beck Bennett
Room. Yeah, I would.
Chelsea Peretti
Not joking.
Kyle Mooney
I would be honored to someday take part in Escape Room with you. That would be.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, that would be great. We could do an episode of the
Chelsea Peretti
podcast in an escape room. I would be cool. Love to do that. A scary one.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Michelle, can we do that?
Kyle Mooney
Escape rooms, right?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, I like to do escape rooms.
Beck Bennett
Do you think we could do an episode of what's our podcast in an escape room?
Chelsea Peretti
I'm sure someone would love to promote their escape room on your podcast.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Okay, Wait. All right, so we should do that. So we have a few spin off podcasts we're planning.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Clothing. So in the world, do you know that clothes once existed and you're like, missing wearing clothes? Or is it just like, suddenly no one misses it? No one has any shame?
Beck Bennett
Like. No, I think that's what it is. There's no shame.
Kyle Mooney
You want to delete.
Chelsea Peretti
That would be a hard one. Why do you want to do that? I guess is the question.
Beck Bennett
I just. I think we, like, I don't know, we'd all be like, just a little bit more chill.
Chelsea Peretti
Fascinating. Like, I don't go to, like, Korean spas, for example. Like, everyone's like, you go to the Korean spot. I'm like, I don't want to see your pussy. I don't want you to see my.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, that's.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't want a group of people looking at me or to look at them.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, I actually feel the same way.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. It was just kind of a thought exercise.
Chelsea Peretti
Interesting. Okay, Kyle. What?
Kyle Mooney
I want. Delete.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, what do you want to delete?
Kyle Mooney
Well, I said desserts and I got.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, that's right.
Beck Bennett
What do you want?
Chelsea Peretti
Back to me?
Beck Bennett
I. I'll.
Chelsea Peretti
Back to me.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, back to me.
Kyle Mooney
Back to me.
Beck Bennett
I'll delete.
Chelsea Peretti
Dyson, hand dryers made me think of it in the bathroom.
Beck Bennett
I'm sorry, Hand dryers or hair blow dryers? Like I said, like, like a hand dryer. There are dryers for. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't use it.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't wash your hands.
Beck Bennett
No, I wash my hands. And then I just.
Chelsea Peretti
That's what I do.
Beck Bennett
The water on my pants, literally what I did. I feel. I do feel, like, stupid just standing
Chelsea Peretti
there, like, yeah, it takes too long. I just think they're one of those. Those ambitious environmental initiatives that actually, in practice, you're just left wiping your hands on your pants.
Beck Bennett
Here's the thing. There are so many gizmos and gadgets for the hands.
Chelsea Peretti
Like gloves, mittens, get rid.
Beck Bennett
Delete all those. But I'm warmer in the bathroom. In the bathroom, you bring. Just bring a bandana or just wipe it on your pants. No, no hand drying things at all.
Chelsea Peretti
Everyone
Kyle Mooney
just bring a bandana. Dude, that's like a pump.
Beck Bennett
Like, everybody brings it. So seriously, Bring a bandana.
Kyle Mooney
Well, I was trying to think if I know anybody. Do you own a bandana?
Beck Bennett
Oh, yeah, I got a bunch of bandanas.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, so you got a vested interest.
Kyle Mooney
So maybe there's a situation where you bring a bandana.
Chelsea Peretti
You bring one every day.
Beck Bennett
You. You take the bandana that you're wearing on your neck.
Chelsea Peretti
You know what's weird is a lot of your deletions are bringing us to a phase that already happened. There was a time where people carried handkerchiefs all the time and, like, blew their nose on it. Wiped their hands with it.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Wiped their baby's face with it.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Wipe their butt with it.
Beck Bennett
I just, I think it's. They're just really good ideas. I. I don't know.
Chelsea Peretti
Actually, this was my deletion. The Dyson here. I don't think we need it. I think it was a good idea, but I think it can be beat.
Beck Bennett
Okay, what about the, the. The. The little rag thing that's like on a loop, you know, you pull it down.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, yeah. I don't like those either.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, those are.
Kyle Mooney
Those are.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, those are bad.
Chelsea Peretti
You like them.
Beck Bennett
You love those.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't.
Beck Bennett
I mean, they're.
Chelsea Peretti
They're cute, but I would delete alcohol. No, actually, I was thinking about this.
Beck Bennett
So alcohol drink anymore? Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, Used to. Don't anymore. And I was like, would I delete alcohol? But kind of, no. And the reason maybe I just like knowing that it's out there. Should I ever choose to throw my life down the toilet. But also I'm like people drinking alcohol. Like, when you walk by a restaurant where people are all drinking it, or like there's a joie de vivre in the air that I like as a secondhand experience.
Beck Bennett
Yes. Even if you're sitting there eating in that environment and you're not drinking, it's still nice to be in that environment.
Chelsea Peretti
Except I, you know, I talk about this, but like, people, like, I call it a chardonnay laugh. Like women who have had too much chardonnay in there at, like, restaurants. I would delete that.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, I would too.
Chelsea Peretti
I hate people. Certain people, you're just like. Especially once you don't drink. You're just like, oh, my God, shut the up.
Beck Bennett
For me, I feel like there's always one voice that cuts through the restaurant. I can't hear anybody else's voice, but it's that. It's that person's voice.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. And it's like. Is that like. What is that? It's like a drill.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
I would Delete that voice. The point. Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Certain frequency.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
You can't. It's. It's a higher frequency and it's. It doesn't blend in.
Chelsea Peretti
It's men too, that it's like.
Beck Bennett
And they're like, they're like, they're very excited and they're like pushing it.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah. It's like bring it down several decibels.
Beck Bennett
And I think as far as the ramifications, what, we all have a better time.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
We all. We all. We can sit and hear the person across from us.
Chelsea Peretti
Well, I mean, I guess the ramifications, Chance is that a number of families lose. Lose their loved ones.
Beck Bennett
Yes.
Kyle Mooney
Right.
Beck Bennett
Just like instantly kind of like the leftovers gone.
Chelsea Peretti
And it's like, why? Because of my son's laugh.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Never will I see him again. Just because he talks a little bit loud.
Beck Bennett
It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kyle Mooney
That's how, that's how our podcast.
Chelsea Peretti
It's like, yeah, that's how the pod works. And also, you had you years to teach him.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Inside voices.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
I want to. I'm like really trying to come up with.
Beck Bennett
Oh, yeah.
Kyle Mooney
And I've been focusing on it for a long time and I still have.
Chelsea Peretti
Yet I have another.
Kyle Mooney
There are like, major things that I want to get.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
But it's.
Beck Bennett
I feel social media.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, what about parking meters?
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, that'd be great.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, let's get rid of those.
Kyle Mooney
But is that. Is that a situation where we just don't need to pay for parking ever?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Great.
Chelsea Peretti
Well, that would be amazing. And also the only question though is then is it mayhem them? Like, does the financial thing limit the traffic or like, does it make it that, you know, like, people have to move out of spots after a while? Like, if you take that away, I
Beck Bennett
think you're gonna have people like, blocking off spots and asking for payment to park there.
Chelsea Peretti
Like just thugs.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, thugs. Parking thugs. They're gonna be like, no, you can't park.
Kyle Mooney
Well, that.
Beck Bennett
Unless you pay me 20 bucks a meter.
Chelsea Peretti
Same as it is now then.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, you pay a meter and it goes to like, kind of of that money goes towards like, what our streets? Like, kind of like.
Chelsea Peretti
No, because they're all privatized now. Have you noticed this all over meters?
Beck Bennett
I didn't realize this is like one
Chelsea Peretti
of my major, like, I want to have a class action lawsuit because every. Every meter, you have to scan a thing and every meter is a different company. I'm like, shouldn't this all be through the city of Los Angeles and like, all the Same.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
So every. So they're making money off the meters, and then the city's making money off the. The tickets.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't know.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, I don't know either.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't know. Maybe it's not privatized. It seems like it is. Everyone's like, you.
Kyle Mooney
Well, here's. Here's something that bothers me. And I don't know if this is a deletion.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Do you ever walk? This is fully. Maybe off game and not. And not. It doesn't count.
Chelsea Peretti
That's cool.
Kyle Mooney
I'm trying to think of, like, there's There. You were talking about restaurants. There's. There are. Restaurant. There's like a rest. There are restaurant cultural things that happen that really bother me. One thing is this happens at one restaurant I go to somewhat frequently. Walk in. I go in early with my family, and the place is empty. 11:00am yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
They're like, do you have a reservation?
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
And it's like, no, no, we don't have a reservation. Okay, well, see if we can find a spot for you. It's like, there's.
Chelsea Peretti
Okay, let's give it a look.
Kyle Mooney
There's nobody. How do you guys feel? All right, let's send them over to 19.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, yeah.
Beck Bennett
Every. It's all completely open.
Kyle Mooney
So what is that? So what do I delete in that?
Chelsea Peretti
That's. Delete the phrase, do you have a reservation?
Kyle Mooney
Okay.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
And so they just have to say, hi. You're like, hi, I have a reservation under this name. Or you go, there's three of us. Yeah. Delete the question, do you have a reservation? It's unnecessary.
Kyle Mooney
And yeah, yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
The person can say what they want. Or is that not satisfying?
Beck Bennett
I think, I think I also, like, delete. Delete the, like, delete the. The power trip. Sort of the ego of the host looking around an empty room, being like, maybe we can find something for you. Because in a position of power, delete
Chelsea Peretti
the pretense that an empty restaurant.
Kyle Mooney
Let's.
Chelsea Peretti
Has tables that are all spoken for.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Yes. And I almost want to go even broader. And I don't know if I can articulate this well, but, like, delete this thing where, like, we're not talking about reality. You know what I mean? Like the, like, ignoring, like, pleasantries. You and I. Yeah. You and I both know the situation and how silly this sounds. Right?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, I agree with that 100%. And what is that? It's like, delete polite society. Delete polite society.
Beck Bennett
Delete polite society.
Chelsea Peretti
It's like pleasantries. Politeness it's like, yeah, what? What is it?
Kyle Mooney
Oh, yeah. I mean, because, like, yeah, you go to the any situation, you're at the market or whatever, and you're like, how you guys been? Good, good, good. How, how's it, how's it going here? How's it been this weekend for you? It's good. We're actually doing pretty well. Yeah, it's kind of. Or slow today, but it'll pick up. Like, it's like, yeah, we don't need that. Right?
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, delete, like, humanity.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, delete the humanity. Let's go full robot.
Chelsea Peretti
No, but I, like, I literally do think small talk is a scourge. Like, yeah, I really struggle with it. And I struggle making eye contact. I struggle thinking, do I look interested? Do I look like I'm bored? Do I look like I don't have that gift? And I always have, like, friends who can just seem so engaged. So sweet. So, So I don't have that gift. I'm like, I connect with people who skip that step, you know?
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Or I'll send someone a text that's like, mid thought. Like, so mid thought. And they're like, good morning.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, right?
Chelsea Peretti
And I'm like, oh, right, I have to jump through the good morning group.
Beck Bennett
Hey, miss you. I hope everything's been good. Yeah, yeah, no, you don't need to do that.
Chelsea Peretti
But also, it's like, you know, when someone's doing that, they're like, hey, good morning. Can I get tickets to your show? It's like, okay, skip the good morning.
Kyle Mooney
You're being fake.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, yeah, just ask for what you want.
Beck Bennett
I've realized people, like, whether they're like, at a. Working at a restaurant or wherever, like, I will say they're like, hey, how you doing today? And I'll be like, good, how you doing? They'll go, good, thanks for asking. And I'm always kind of like, thanks for asking.
Chelsea Peretti
They do like it. A lot of people like it.
Beck Bennett
You like it. Why you? Why? I mean, maybe because they've gone all day without anybody asking them, and then they start to feel bad about it. But I'm like, you. You're looking for the chance to say, good, good. You know what I mean? Like, there's not, it's not a real conversation that we're having. But I am surprised how often that people are like, really? Like, wow. Thank you for asking me that.
Chelsea Peretti
I know people. Really? Yeah.
Beck Bennett
Oh, please.
Kyle Mooney
Sorry.
Chelsea Peretti
No, no.
Kyle Mooney
I, I, this is, again, this is not following the full parameters that have set up.
Chelsea Peretti
Okay.
Kyle Mooney
But I've never, I've never exercised this, but I know that when you take like an Uber maybe, or lift, there's the option for like, like, essentially, don't talk to me.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, selecting no conversation.
Beck Bennett
Yes, quite right. If we could.
Kyle Mooney
If you could maybe have like a pin that could be like green. Like, it's all go. We could talk red.
Beck Bennett
Like, I think that's a great idea because we're often having awful days or something awful has happened. And if you have a red, then you could be like, this person doesn't want to talk right now.
Chelsea Peretti
You know, I have a joke that's like, when you're in an Uber, is it okay to switch to no conversation mid ride? But. And then there was this, this someone in New York years ago had a joke about, like, how they're like, they want to be like the dogs where you go, not friendly. Which is kind of what you're saying. It's like. Yeah, like, what if it's just like, everyone? Well, this isn't a deletion, though. This is an addition. Like something that indicates if you like small talk or not.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
That's like, for a different podcast called Additions.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
Maybe it's Inventions Editions.
Beck Bennett
We could just wear masks, but you
Chelsea Peretti
could just delete small talk. But you don't want to deprive, I guess, the people who like it.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
And like. Yeah, by deleting small talk, you can still talk to people, but you got to get. You got to be specific. Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
You're like, anyone die recently that you know?
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Beck Bennett
Right.
Chelsea Peretti
But yeah, I think all my friends are more like that. The people I could be really close to are more actually just like, get straight to it.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah.
Chelsea Peretti
And then I think people who don't like that gravitate to people where they just have floral conversations all the time.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah. Well, it's like when I. When you walked in, I was like, I'm telling her the spring roll story. Like, I don't care even if I've already said it.
Chelsea Peretti
I was like, that's not small talk. That's big talk.
Beck Bennett
And I'm going to ask her about Crow show and like, where that. Where that fell in her life and. Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah. So, yeah, let's get into the stand up things. We got to know how. How does it feel?
Beck Bennett
Wait, how does it feel to what
Kyle Mooney
to do stand up? Like, kind of the whole. And then the trajectory and the writing and the. And acting. How's. How's it been for you? I'm curious.
Chelsea Peretti
This. Yeah. You know, it's been interesting. Yeah, it's, you know, I think that comedy serves a purpose in society in an ideal world. You know, it's. It's a dressing down, perhaps of the status quo. Yes and yes. You know, catharsis. You're saying what people are afraid to say.
Kyle Mooney
I find. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes I'll hear. Yeah, I'll hear, you know, somebody say something like that. It's also finding these truths that I think, like. Yeah, sometimes they're hard to say. Sometimes you don't even recognize them until somebody says it out loud.
Chelsea Peretti
And it's an interchange, you know, it's an interplay between the audience. It's an interplay between the audience and the comedy maestro. So I'm just laughing, thinking about some. An expression that an audience member had last night. It was pretty funny. But, yeah, they're, you know, they're an active participant. You look out, there's an energy exchange. So I'm on stage. Sure. And I'm the one holding a mic. Yeah. But everyone's energy is contributing to the room. And, you know, for me, you want a good show, you gotta give a lot of energy to get a lot of energy.
Kyle Mooney
I feel that. And I gotta say, it's not stand up, but like, you today, Chelsea, have brought such an energy. And I think back on where we began, when we first started talking about deletion and knowing that, like, oh, she's gonna go. She's gonna go for french fries immediately.
Chelsea Peretti
You knew it.
Beck Bennett
A beloved thing. She's gonna go right for it.
Kyle Mooney
To me, you bring some. You bring an energy to this room. Room. And you bring an energy to the conversations you have. And I just want to say, forgive me. You are somebody and you are a force that I will go to the depths of heaven and hell to stop anybody from getting close to deletion on this one. Okay. Okay. Because this is a hero, this is a pioneer, and this is somebody who
Beck Bennett
is drinking coffee out of her headgum box.
Chelsea Peretti
That's. I mean, that means so much to me.
Beck Bennett
Great. You know it's true. Oh, yeah. Did you have anything, Anything else?
Chelsea Peretti
No, I just, you know, it's weird when you get, you know, two legends.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Total. Yeah.
Beck Bennett
What are you guys talking about?
Kyle Mooney
Nothing. It was just a little sort of inside thing that Chelsea and I have been sort of talking about recently.
Beck Bennett
Yeah,
Chelsea Peretti
man.
Beck Bennett
That coffee's good, dude.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah. Well, you got your. Get your own.
Chelsea Peretti
Cheers.
Beck Bennett
Oh, right here.
Chelsea Peretti
Cheers, man.
Beck Bennett
I'm wearing off.
Kyle Mooney
I can't get mine to come off.
Chelsea Peretti
That's cool, though.
Beck Bennett
Cheers.
Chelsea Peretti
Cheers. Cheers.
Beck Bennett
Well, cheers.
Chelsea Peretti
It's like little overflowing, overflowing little sake. You know? Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
Can't wait. Oh, there's a mirror in mine.
Beck Bennett
I know.
Chelsea Peretti
Me too. You look in. There you go.
Beck Bennett
Oh, hi baby.
Chelsea Peretti
Hi baby.
Kyle Mooney
Hi, baby.
Chelsea Peretti
Hi, baby.
Kyle Mooney
Hi, baby.
Beck Bennett
Oh, little baby. I'm a little baby.
Kyle Mooney
Hi. Well, this. That was. This was. Has been deletions. And thanks so much for being here.
Beck Bennett
Yeah. Don't hit delete yeah on this and see you next week.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, Box around.
Beck Bennett
See you at Box around. Perfect. Wow. Deletion.
Kyle Mooney
Think about all we we've been through to today song.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh yeah.
Beck Bennett
We've deleted french fries and clothes and small talk and lived in that world for a little bit.
Chelsea Peretti
And Dyson hand dryers and.
Beck Bennett
And Dyson hand dryers.
Chelsea Peretti
Shout out to Dyson though.
Beck Bennett
Dude, great marketing.
Chelsea Peretti
The blow dryers are a. Yes.
Beck Bennett
Yes. Love the blow dryer. Do you have. Do you have a. Do you have a little mini one, a little travel one by any chance? No, Saw one of those recently. I think I might have to get one.
Kyle Mooney
One.
Chelsea Peretti
You blow dry?
Beck Bennett
I blow dry. I love it.
Kyle Mooney
What?
Beck Bennett
You don't think I blow dry? I blow dry.
Chelsea Peretti
I don't know why that's funny.
Beck Bennett
So what? I blow dry my hair? Aha. Yeah, very funny.
Kyle Mooney
Did you blow dry your hair?
Chelsea Peretti
He blow dries his hair. You know what, your hair does look great. But I just never in a million years would have guessed it's blow dried.
Beck Bennett
What is. What exactly does what.
Chelsea Peretti
Just imagining you like in the mirror.
Beck Bennett
Oh, I love it. Fluffing it and blowing it and blowing it. Yeah, it's great.
Chelsea Peretti
That's cool.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, I think more people should blow dry their hair.
Chelsea Peretti
You didn't even talk about your turkey balls. Oh yeah, that was supposed to be a big thing.
Beck Bennett
Everybody, just for the end, I have my. These are actually chicken meatballs from Earth Bar. So let's see. I'll do a little unboxing.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, it reeks.
Beck Bennett
It does smell.
Chelsea Peretti
And oh God, it really is fragrance.
Beck Bennett
Delicious looking things.
Chelsea Peretti
It looks like dog food. It smells like dog food.
Beck Bennett
Carrots in there.
Chelsea Peretti
And you all know what that means.
Beck Bennett
It's dog food.
Chelsea Peretti
It's dog food.
Beck Bennett
There's nothing. There's nothing wrong with eating dog food. Color. Are you gonna. Are you playing this out?
Chelsea Peretti
Garlic in there.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, I got, I got, I got something here.
Chelsea Peretti
Okay, wait, are we supposed to have our. Oh God.
Beck Bennett
Oh. Wait, wait.
Kyle Mooney
You can go whenever you want. You add more sounds.
Beck Bennett
No, here. No, that's perfect. God, we've had some Fun today God, we've had some fun oh, God, we've had some fun today on the podcast Chelsea came and brought the goods and Kyle and Beck tried to keep up thank God we had some fun on the pod today on the pod today.
Chelsea Peretti
On the pod today I came to play on the pod today on the
Beck Bennett
pod we had some fun today on the pod today Game to play on
Chelsea Peretti
the pod today Delete Trying to find
Beck Bennett
my way Delete came to me Press delete, Delete Try to find my way I was.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, I was just deleting everything I did.
Beck Bennett
No, no, I was just joking. She started saying, no, no, no, it's all good.
Chelsea Peretti
I wasn't saying delete.
Beck Bennett
I was.
Chelsea Peretti
I was adding texture. Not like saying delete.
Beck Bennett
And I.
Kyle Mooney
There's nothing about this that's cringe, is there?
Beck Bennett
No.
Chelsea Peretti
The whole podcast.
Beck Bennett
Yeah.
Kyle Mooney
So do you have anything you want to promote?
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, God. I was going to tell you at the beginning not to ask that. I'll be probably touring in the fall unless I succumb to darkness.
Beck Bennett
Yeah, yeah, that'll.
Chelsea Peretti
That can happen. And then, you know, go on my Instagram. I think it's Chelsanity.
Kyle Mooney
Yeah, that's right. That's right.
Chelsea Peretti
And listen to my podcast. It's called Call Chelsea Peretti. I take calls, so you could also call in. Yeah, we just talk about some random ass.
Beck Bennett
You just go off the rails, dude. It's great.
Kyle Mooney
Chelsanity is such a great, great handle, too.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah, I was pretty psyched on that. That's. That's one of the benefits of being old. You get in early on the Internet. Also.
Beck Bennett
Also my Coffee.
Chelsea Peretti
My Coffee album. You can listen to that.
Beck Bennett
Yes, yes.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
All right, take care, everybody.
Chelsea Peretti
Oh, I also made a movie. Oh, you can watch it. I think it's, like, streaming all over the place. It's called Firsttime Female Director.
Beck Bennett
Go check it out.
Chelsea Peretti
Thanks.
Kyle Mooney
Go see it. Thanks, guys.
Beck Bennett
Thank you, guys. God, we had some fun.
Kyle Mooney
What's Our Podcast is a headgun podcast created and hosted by Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney.
Beck Bennett
The show is produced and engineered by Richelle Chen and Anya Kanovskaya, with production support from Ali Khan and Ryan Lutzow.
Kyle Mooney
Our executive producer is Anya Kanefskaya. Katie Moose is our VP of content at Headgum. Our theme music is made by us.
Beck Bennett
For more podcasts by headgum, visit headcum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass, the Podcast, a new show coming to. Coming to that's what it is. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville.
Kyle Mooney
And I'm Jeff Tremaine.
Beck Bennett
Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show now on Headgum.
Kyle Mooney
I've learned a Jackass movie has to
Beck Bennett
be really 90 minutes. Every minute the of over is admitted. Too long, apparently. There's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I've noticed that every every so often with guests like Spike Jones. I think let's commit to Jackass the Podcast.
Kyle Mooney
What was it going to be called?
Beck Bennett
The Jackass Podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Steve O.
Kyle Mooney
There's a strong chance that were it
Chelsea Peretti
not for Jackass, that I would be in clown makeup right this minute.
Beck Bennett
Chris Pontius, that shot of your butt just cruising up, I'm like, yeah, I got that on tv. God bless us. Dave England.
Chelsea Peretti
Yeah.
Beck Bennett
When you come in and you're being really nice, they're like, damn it. Something bad's gonna happen to me. Wee man. Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch.
Kyle Mooney
The whole bar just stopped and wanted
Beck Bennett
to kill me, like. And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning. I had to share a room with this guy, and I left a nice surprise in the toilet for him every time. Apparently, he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocket Cast, or wherever the hell hell you get podcasts. Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Woo.
Kyle Mooney
Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday.
Beck Bennett
Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and tick tock at Jackass the Podcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes.
Kyle Mooney
Hi, I am Mandy Moore.
Beck Bennett
Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that was us now on Head.
Chelsea Peretti
Each episode we're gonna go into a
Kyle Mooney
deep dive from our show.
Beck Bennett
This is us. That's right.
Kyle Mooney
We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with
Chelsea Peretti
different guest stars and writers and casting directors.
Beck Bennett
Are we gonna cry? Yes. Little bit. Are we gonna laugh a lot?
Chelsea Peretti
A whole lot.
Beck Bennett
That's what I'm hoping, man.
Chelsea Peretti
Listen to.
Beck Bennett
That was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.
Episode: Chelsea Peretti
Release Date: June 24, 2026
Host: Headgum
This lively, comedic episode of “What’s Our Podcast?” features Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney (both SNL alumni and longtime friends) figuring out what the podcast should actually be about… again! Their special guest is comedian, writer, and actress Chelsea Peretti (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, “Call Chelsea Peretti” podcast), who is invited to pitch her own idea for a recurring podcast theme. The trio riff on parenting, nostalgia, standup, music, escape rooms, and explore the hilarious possibilities of a “deletion” podcast (where you erase unwanted things from the world). With trademark bits, improv songs, and tangential conversations, this episode balances absurdity, sincerity, and sharp comic chemistry.
The episode is a chaotic but affectionate look at friendship, the creative brainstorm, the absurdities of modern life—and what happens when three distinctly funny people decide “deletion” might be the podcast theme they’ve been looking for all along. Chelsea Peretti’s quick wit and honesty fit perfectly with Beck and Kyle’s loose, playful style, producing a memorable, joke-rich exploration of what we’d all like to erase…and what we couldn’t live without.
For fans seeking:
Chelsea Plugs:
"Delete this podcast!" — Chelsea Peretti (singing, [85:02])