Eric André

Summary

What's Our Podcast? with Beck Bennett & Kyle Mooney

Episode: Eric André (March 25, 2026)

Host: Headgum
Guests: Eric André
Summary By: Podcast Summarizer

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Episode Overview

In this lively installment, Beck and Kyle welcome their longtime friend and fellow comedy icon Eric André to help them—yet again—figure out “what’s our podcast about?” The episode arcs from playful banter, old memories, and spontaneous rap to a half-serious, half-chaotic “Pirate” themed segment, all filtered through Eric Andre’s signature, unpredictable comedic style. The trio meanders through topics including SNL, hangouts as aging comedians, anxiety, legendary Eric André parties, and, ultimately, a surprisingly robust pirate history lesson. As always, the conversation is fueled by their chemistry and improvisational energy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Patreon Launch and Show Format Reflections

[00:13–03:30]

• Beck and Kyle unveil their Patreon membership tiers:
  • $5: Bonus episodes (just Beck and Kyle, extended bits, real-life catch-ups)
  • $10: Members pitch podcast ideas; access to exclusive chat (Discord); “our sillies” video sketches
  • $15: All previous perks + access to quarterly live streams and a “side headshot” of the hosts
• Quote:
  • Kyle: “We want… more exploration because there’s a format… but we have a lot of stuff we want to do without a guest. Just the two of us.” [00:35]
• They reminisce about making sketches together “since September 2003” and emphasize the show’s continuing search for its true identity.

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2. Playful Banter—Bits, Outfits, and a Spontaneous Rap

[03:35–13:15]

• Extended banter about their outfits and their “animal energy”—Kyle likens himself (in a pink rugby shirt) to a flamingo; Beck and producer Richelle, dressed in black, to vultures.
• Playful mutual ribbing about each others’ senses of humor and strange bits (“You look so weird.” / “No, you look really cute.”).
• Birth of a freestyle rap segment:
  • Kyle delivers an unhinged, explicit freestyle, riffing on prompts like “scraggly,” “clang,” and “pants,” leading into a narrative of self-pleasure and surreal asides, to Beck’s audible delight.
  • Beck: “That was so fucking badass... That was straight off the dome. Is that based in reality at all?” [12:35]

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3. Eric André Joins—Friendship, First Meetings, and Vignettes

[20:01–27:37]

• Eric arrives eating sushi and immediately disrupts the energy with his trademark absurd non-sequiturs and wild lines (“Stay away from me and my family.” [20:19]).
• The trio swap first meeting stories—tracing back to underground comedy, house parties, and an obscure surfer/family documentary.
• Beck credits Eric for inadvertently starting his own caffeine sobriety:
  • Beck: “I don’t drink caffeine anymore.”
  • Eric: “Maybe you went too far.” [26:21]

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4. Life, Comedy, and Hanging Out After Kids

[27:08–30:43]

• Discussion of how friendships change as people have children.
• Eric reveals he’s getting a vasectomy:
  • “I don’t think childcare is in my future… People with kids tell me only do it if you really, really... want to.” [27:40]
• He details the pre-vasectomy steps (“shave your scrote”, [30:58]), providing both earnestness and comic color.

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5. SNL Memories—Impressions, Nerves & Live Format

[32:20–36:50]

• Eric expresses confusion about how SNL handles casting and impersonations, asking if the hosts could turn down assignments.
• Inside baseball: the pressure of cold opens, picking up weird celebrity characters, live cue cards vs. teleprompters.
• Eric asks why SNL is still live rather than pre-taped:
  • Eric: “Why is it all steampunk?... Why don't you just tape it?” [35:22]
  • Beck/Kyle answer: Because of tradition, Lorne Michaels' vision, and the lingering excitement of live TV.

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6. On Panic Attacks, Performing, and Mental Health

[38:17–40:05]

• Eric speaks candidly about onstage anxiety, using beta blockers, and coping strategies:
  • “I'm a ball of nerves. I wish you could talk to my therapist.” [38:56]

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7. Legendary Eric André Parties

[40:27–43:53]

• Kyle and Beck prompt Eric for stories about his infamous parties—quinceañeras, cult themes, doppelganger actors roaming in tuxedos.
• Eric: “There was one… I had a bunch of guys that looked like me and dressed exactly like me… just milling about the party.” [42:05]
• A nitrous-fueled onstage incident ends with a Live Nation rep grabbing his gas canister.

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8. The "Pirates Podcast"—Eric’s Concept

[46:54–61:36]

• Eric pitches “Pirates” as the show's thematic experiment.
• The hosts and Eric slip into deliberately antagonistic pirate banter:
  • Eric: “Why don’t you go suck your dad’s dick like you used to?” [50:16]
• Absurd brainstorming on what “pirates” means (butt pirates, pirate impressions, “sexiest pirate”).
• Eric, after feigning disinterest, drops real pirate history:
  • Captain Morgan (Henry Morgan): “He would string Spanish soldiers up by their ball sack.” [55:06]
  • Blackbeard: Lit his hair on fire before battles; “He was a freakazoid.” [60:36]
  • Difference between pirates and privateers, pirates’ wild brutality, and association with rum.
  • Real-life pirates from Boston, including Ned Lowe; anecdote about Jimmy Buffett’s near misadventure in Jamaica.
• Playful confrontation over their Irish ancestry and roots, family heritage, and generational pride.

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9. Closing—Plugs and Final Pirate Bits

[66:13–67:23]

• Eric pokes fun at SNL impressions and asks Beck to demonstrate a couple (Putin, Pence).
• Eric plugs his own podcast:
  • “Bombing with Eric Andre” on iHeartRadio, and extends an invite to Beck and Kyle [66:49].
• All reaffirm their friendship, pushing the limits of their Pirate Podcast experiment to its absurd conclusion:
  • Beck: “He brought us to the edge, pirate style.” [67:14]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kyle (on show format, Patreon):
  “We have a lot of stuff we want to do without a guest. Just the two of us.” [00:45]
• Eric (party story):
  “I had a bunch of guys that looked like me and dressed exactly like me… just milling about the party.” [42:05]
• Beck (on SNL anxiety):
  “...the worst ones were the political ones… cold open… you had to deliver information… and nobody knows the person.” [33:09]
• Eric (on pirate/privateer history):
  “They would hire pirates… total outlaw bandits, scumbag alcoholics… and elevate them to the status of privateer… they would attack Spanish and French in the night and they were like horrible sociopaths. Damn murderers and rapists.” [55:31]
• Eric (Pirate Podcast mode):
  “Why don’t you go suck your dad’s dick like you used to?” [50:16]
• Beck (finale):
  “He brought us to the edge, pirate style.” [67:14]

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• [00:13–03:30] — Patreon tiers, format reflection, podcast identity musings
• [03:35–13:15] — Outfit/animal energy banter, spontaneous rap
• [20:01–27:37] — Eric joins, early friendship tales, caffeine/mental health
• [27:08–30:43] — Parenting, vasectomy, being child-free
• [32:20–36:50] — SNL pressures, live performance challenges
• [38:17–40:05] — Anxiety, panic attacks, coping
• [40:27–43:53] — Wild Eric André parties
• [46:54–61:36] — “Pirates Podcast” (Eric’s idea): bits, banter, genuine pirate history
• [66:13–67:23] — SNL impressions, Eric’s iHeartRadio plug, closing affirmations

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Tone & Language

Consistently informal, quick-witted, boundary-pushing, and peppered with absurd humor, the episode reflects the trio’s improvisational style. Eric’s presence adds volatility, surreal non-sequiturs, and bursts of unexpectedly detailed historical facts (especially about pirates), balanced by Beck and Kyle’s earnestness and self-deprecating charm.

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For New Listeners

If you’ve never listened before, this episode highlights the show’s unique blend of friendship memories, meta-podcast experimentation, and no-holds-barred comedy. It’s less about a fixed topic and more about the unexpected alchemy that happens when three distinct comedic minds collide—and sometimes, talk pirates.

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Transcript

[A]

This is a Headgun podcast. Wow.

[B]

Yay. Another episode of what's our Podcast. But first, a little special announcement from Beck and Cob.

[A]

This is very big. This is.

[B]

It's very huge and big.

[A]

I think this is life changing for me.

[B]

Yeah, it could be. As long as it goes well.

[A]

Well, even if it doesn't, it is altering my life.

[B]

It already has.

[A]

The big announcement is we are starting a Patreon.

[B]

Yes. You're saying to yourself, oh, yes, it was.

[A]

You know, it was a risk. It was a swing to even start a podcast together back.

[B]

Yes, it was.

[A]

We didn't know what it is. We still are finding out what it is every single week when we come together with our guests. And we want to go even further. We actually. We want. There's more exploration to be done because

[B]

there's a format to the podcast, but we have a lot of stuff we want to do without a guest. Just the two of us.

[A]

We like messing around.

[B]

Yes. Let's tell them what it is. For the first tier, Rocco Basics here.

[A]

It's five bucks a month. You're gonna get a bonus episode every week. No guest. Okay. It's just Beck and I doing what we've been doing Since September of 2003, when we first met each other.

[B]

For that tier, we have Sloppin out, which is just the two of us

[C]

hanging out with each other.

[A]

It's like our intro to our show.

[B]

Yeah, but it's longer. We can go into bits longer.

[A]

We can also be earnest, learn about each other's lives.

[B]

Yes. Catch up for longer. Or we also have what's yous Podcast, where we take ideas from our Patreon members at a certain tier. At the $10 tier, which is the next tier, we take your ideas and we try that podcast out. Right, but you can pitch those ideas at the $10 tier.

[A]

Yes. Once you get to the $10 tier, premium rock, which we're calling Rocco Premium.

[B]

Rocco Premium.

[A]

That's where you actually get to pitch the ideas that we will do on our podcast. You're also gonna get access to an exclusive chat. A chat room.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

The Discord. The Rocco Discord, where you can talk with other fans, other listeners, probably kind of do your own little bits, make some friends, maybe.

[B]

Also with the $10 tier, you get access to. You get to see what we're calling our sillies. Yes.

[A]

These are little videos. We came up making videos together. Full circle. Cause now you and I are just gonna make a little video. We already started. Get a little iPhone, make a little video. Play some characters, do some bits.

[B]

Just come up with an idea and pop it right off and just shoot. Yeah, why don't.

[A]

We don't need to labor over it.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. We just kind of have fun and pump it out to our Rocco's. You know what I mean?

[A]

I know exactly what you mean, and I love it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

For 15 bucks, you get all that stuff, plus you get free access to our new ticketed livestream. So, like, we will talk to you directly. You can ask us questions. We'll be doing these quarterly throughout the year.

[B]

We might do poppers there. We don't know yet. It's only gonna be legal stuff, but we're gonna have fun.

[A]

We have to do poppers.

[B]

Yes. And here's the thing. For Rocket supreme, if you sign up for a full year, you'll get a side headshot of me and Kyle. We don't know what the headshot is yet, but it's going to be awesome. It's going to be a special photo. Maybe black and white suit, capes. We don't know.

[A]

Maybe like big, like the old school Dr. Seuss, the cat in the hat hats.

[B]

Remember those?

[A]

Were those.

[B]

Yeah. With nothing else below. Yeah. We don't know. But it's going to be an amazing family heirloom that you get and you can, you know, frame it and put above the fireplace or something. Or something like that.

[A]

It is really going to be fun. I think it's going to be a place to see some really weird, wild, and crazy stuff where we just get

[B]

to do whatever we want without really caring. So. Yeah. So go to patreon.com what's our podcast? And join today, please.

[A]

That's patreon.com what's our Podcast? And be in the Rocco Club with all your fellow Roccos.

[B]

What's our podcast?

[C]

What's it gonna be all about? Tell us what's our podcast?

[B]

What should we talk about with Beck and Kyle? Okay. You love it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You do. Ms. Rochelle.

[A]

I know. Look at me. I know. Look at me. Oh, yeah. Me and Rochelle are both with the vultures.

[B]

With the vultures. And I'm over here with the. The peacocks and the flamingos. The flamingos. Flamingos.

[A]

We've gotta get in there.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This is already cracking.

[B]

I'm making you laugh so hard because I'm doing a funny. Because I was saying we gotta describe.

[A]

Go ahead.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. I gotta describe my shirt because for

[B]

the listener, I am wearing sort of a long sleeve rugby shirt.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

From. From Noah ny. Fantastic brand. Okay. Kind of Like a skate streetwear brand. It's amazing.

[A]

I had no idea. Yeah.

[B]

And it's a polo, so it's got the polo collar thing. It's all pink. It's a nice shade of pink. Long sleeve and on the shoulders. We've got a band here for our. For our viewers. Right there, you got purple, light blue, a big, wide white stripe, and then a big, wide, maybe royal blue, classic blue on the sleeves. And it kind of. Kind of bunch up, and it looks amazing. And I'm kind of like. I said I'm kind of like a flamingo flingo.

[A]

That's really great. Thanks, man.

[B]

I don't know if it's like, one, like, now thinking about it, I'm like, wait, is it that funny kind of like a flingo? I think it's funny kind of like a flingo. Well, it's because you said you're. You're wearing a dark sweater, and I gotta.

[A]

I gotta shout out our producer, Rochelle, who's back there always doing her thing.

[B]

Always doing her thing.

[A]

She's turning some knobs right now.

[B]

Yeah. That.

[A]

She's actually probably turning me down. No, I can't. I don't. Can't stand that voice.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Why does he sound like that?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[A]

No, but she's wearing black. I'm wearing black. And I'm saying.

[B]

Well, you're wearing, like, a light black, and you're wearing blue jeans and brown shoes. So you're wearing a little bit of black. Yeah. And you said you're like, relle.

[A]

I'm still thinking about the flamingo thing.

[B]

Go ahead. Right, well, because you said. You started it. You said you guys were like vultures. You said.

[C]

You said.

[B]

You just said it. Dude, don't. You. Don't get testy with me. Not like you said you and Rochelle were like vultures because you're wearing black. And I said I'm like a flamingo because I'm wearing pink. It's. I don't know if it's that funny. It's not. Missing out. Are you fucking with me or are you actually.

[A]

No, no. Every time you say it, I laugh.

[B]

I'm a flamingo. I love making you laugh, dude. I don't know. It's just sometimes I'm so. Sometimes I am surprised by the things that make you laugh. And I'm like, is that. Is he, like, making fun of me or is he messing with me? Or is he, like, actually laughing?

[A]

Yeah,

[B]

no, but I honestly, you know

[A]

why flamingos are pink? Wait. Sorry, go ahead.

[B]

I Will take any laugh I can get from you, no matter where it comes from. Okay, okay. Okay. And I actually like.

[A]

You make me laugh.

[B]

You make me laugh, too.

[A]

I think you're fucking shooting our video. And.

[B]

Which we can't really go into the video yet. Right?

[C]

We'll be out.

[B]

It'll be out.

[A]

Rachelle directed it. And, like, I don't know what she's looked at, but we don't know what'll end up being seen by the public of what we shot.

[B]

Correct. And, okay, so what we shot yesterday was a man on the street. Man on the street video. It was you and me going up to people in Silver Lake trying to get the word out about our Patreon, which at this point has launched.

[A]

And we're gonna assume that if you're watching, listening, you're a member. Because if not, I'm gonna. I'm coming in there. I'm jumping out of your. I'm jumping out of your AirPods and I'm ringing your neck and I'm saying, what the fuck are you doing? Not being a patron. There's so much good shit we have there. And it's me and back again. And it's really, really, really a little different, but just enough to keep coming back.

[B]

Yes. That if that doesn't sell you, I don't know what will. We got the Patreon going down.

[A]

Yeah, but I.

[B]

Yes, and we can see. We can say whatever we want on the Patreon. Okay. We can do all the stuff that we can't do.

[A]

Sometimes I get so mad at myself for doing these voices.

[C]

No.

[B]

Are you kidding me? It's a big part of the show. I love your voices. And they come naturally because you look so weird. And so, like, when the voices come out, it's like. It's like. Yeah, that makes sense.

[A]

They look so weird.

[B]

You look so weird.

[A]

Because they look so bearded.

[B]

You don't look weird. You look really cute.

[A]

No, no. Give me something. No, you're cute.

[B]

Oh, you're trying to rhyme. Because I look so fucking weird. I've got a beard.

[A]

I'm eating here. Or I ate. I just ate.

[B]

Okay. What is that? I'm sorry.

[A]

I'm cooking. I'm cooking here.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm cooking here. And I'm about to have eight. I'm cook.

[B]

What are you doing? Are you rapping?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

People say I'm weird and I got my scraggly beard.

[B]

I'm cooking here.

[A]

People say I'm weird. I've got my scraggly beard. I guess it's something they feared. People say I'm weird. I got my scraggly beard. I guess something they feared. My wheel, I steered, I drove down the highway, the byways of life. The next thing I know, I saw my wife. She was great. Her name is Kate. And then I said hello to Tate. Oh, Tate is the name of that girl who browse. Rules the world.

[B]

Rules the world. Dude, that was. I. I was just the beat, so I didn't hear all the lyrics, but I knew you were.

[A]

No, but give me a word. Let me try to do. Can I try to do a genuinely good freestyle rap?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And then we got to go back to a couple loose ends that we didn't.

[A]

You want to talk about Silver? Like, well, why the.

[B]

Why flamingos are pink. And we could talk about the video a little bit. Shrimp. They eat shrimp.

[A]

That's what makes them pink.

[B]

I didn't know that, cuz I thought they were in, like, ponds and I didn't know shrimp were in ponds.

[A]

Ponds.

[B]

Flamingo. Flamingos live in the sea.

[A]

I know that. It's definitely from eating shrimp. I don't know where.

[B]

I don't know. I could. Michelle, can we fact check that, please? Because I'm like. Is this one of your little.

[A]

Yeah, they are pink because of their diet.

[B]

Okay. What do they.

[A]

Algae, brine shrimp and small crustaceans.

[B]

Dude, let me give me a fist bump right there. Because that's something that nobody knew about.

[A]

I think I actually said it recently on a recording we did.

[B]

Okay, so wait, I'm gonna give you a word. I'm gonna. Is scraggly a bad word? Or clang?

[A]

Clang or scraggly? Oh, man, I already feel. I'm already.

[B]

Or. Or I could just go with pants. I'm gonna go with pants.

[A]

I'm gonna try to hit them all. I've seen, like, these guys on, like, tick tock or YouTube who, like, get all these words at once.

[B]

Now this is.

[A]

Now. Can we say that I've not genuinely tried to do this.

[B]

No.

[A]

Since probably 2007 or eight or something.

[B]

Yeah. If it makes you feel better, you could give me a word afterwards and I can die.

[A]

Scraggly dance in pants.

[B]

Wait, Scraggly clang and pants.

[A]

Clang.

[B]

The clang is kind of. Kind of random.

[A]

Scraggly clang and pants.

[B]

Like, clang is in, like, a banging.

[A]

Okay. Okay. I already feel so stupid.

[B]

You don't have to.

[A]

I just went like this and went. Mm.

[B]

You gotta feel it. You gotta feel it.

[A]

The bell. Clang. Dang. Or, damn, Sam, I am. Eats the eggs with the pants on his legs. Scraggly. I'm tagging the badly. And sadly, people look at me. Are they angry? Why are they so mad, B? I don't know.

[B]

That's fucking great, dude.

[A]

I just show up and say my little lines and rhymes and try to portray the nice guy I am. The slim. Like Slim Jim, Macho Man, Randy Savage. Ravage on this mic. Psych. I'm not like anything you've seen or heard. Beck Bennett just gave me three words. Observe as I serve you like a waiter. I'm great at jerking off. I'm the best masturbator. What the hell? Look over at Rochelle. Time will tell. I look at my watch. I don't have one, so I look at my crotch. Then I start sucking my dick. It's the first time I realized I could do it. And if I could suck it, well, hell, maybe I could screw it. So I pull my wiener, stretch it out as far as I can. Put it in my butt. Find. Find out what kind of man I am. Turns out I got a big, loose butthole. It fits my tiny, skinny penis. And then I have to put on a nuzzle because, like. Cause I know nothing will stop me from what I'm about to do to myself. I find myself very sexy. And I think that's good for my health. It's good for my wealth. Well, not really, but maybe I could whore myself. Paying myself. Paying myself to do myself off. What the hell am I talking about? You play the doctor and tell me to cough. Grab my balls.

[B]

That was a perfect rap, dude.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

That was so. Yeah, man, look at that. Richelle loves it. That was so fucking badass. And, like, the stuff about being so good at masturbating and see what kind of man you are and trying to have sex with yourself and pay yourself for it. That was. That was straight off the dome. That's like. Is that based in reality at all?

[A]

Yeah, I always. You know, I always say, like, true. You know, like, just.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The kernels of truth that are inside you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The kernels of in truth that are inside you Might inspire you.

[B]

Oh, do another.

[A]

But sometimes you hide too Beside you I ride you like a horse, of course, but just for fun, not for sports.

[B]

Oh, that was so cool. All right, well, the guest is here. That's perfect. Thank you so much for rapping and rhyming. We have an incredible guest. Our guest today is Eric Andre. Oh, wait. We never told people what our show is.

[A]

It's what's our podcast with Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney? And we invited guests to come in and pitch an idea for what our podcast should be.

[B]

And then we tried it.

[A]

We have no idea. Now I'm starting to think it should be the Rapping Podcast.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I think so too. The Kyle Rapping Podcast. But this week, our guest is Eric Andre, an old friend of ours.

[A]

The Adult Swim show. The Eric Andre Show.

[B]

Yeah. I hear him legalize. Everything is special. He's coming in.

[A]

He's walking in.

[B]

We're introducing this motherfucker.

[C]

Andre.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by. Oh, I heard it coming from the mountains. Maybe it's. It must be March. Wait, is it too late? To set the year in motion, accomplish my goals, and maybe even become the best possible version of me.

[B]

Vuori, it isn't. It's just. You have plenty of time. It's me. I was the guy yelling, Viori from the mountaintops.

[A]

Wow, Viori, good to see you.

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[C]

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With my weasels.

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[A]

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I was with my buzzards the other day.

[B]

Yeah, that's what they'll buzzard around.

[A]

I was with one of my buzzards.

[B]

Was it Charlie or Rankin?

[A]

It was Rankin. Nice of you to ask.

[B]

He.

[A]

So he has been. He's had a little bit of a. He's. I don't know if he's dealing with some sort of cold or what it is, but he's been. He's been a little. He's been a little sad little buzzard. Yeah, but. But I put him in a pair of blue performance joggers.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[B]

Yep.

[A]

If you're

[B]

one of your. One of the. One of the. One of the people that you buy food from down the street.

[A]

Check out the website for full terms and conditions.

[B]

You're gonna want to check out that website. It's Viori good clothing at a Viori good deal.

[A]

And I am very excited that I got to let the world know about it.

[B]

Me too. See you later.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

Express vpn. Yay. So, yo, I just heard something mind blowing.

[B]

Get on me, Kai.

[A]

Okay. Netflix has more than 18,000 titles globally, right?

[B]

What? I didn't know that.

[A]

Yes. Okay. But only like 7,000 of those are available in the US or whatever country you might be in, which could be. Yes. Yeah, you're missing out on literally thousands of great shows unless you use ExpressVPN. Oh, this is cool. So we can sort of get to watch all the shows we're not supposed to be watching.

[B]

That's great. Look. Oh, wait, hold on. Netflix hides content from you based on your location.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

ExpressVPN lets you change your online location so you control where you want Netflix to think you're located.

[A]

This is like you're being an online rascal.

[B]

This is awesome. I love ExpressVPN. They have servers in 105 countries in all 50 United States. So you can gain access to thousands of new shows and never run out of stuff to watch. Sorry, Netflix. We cracked the code. It's ExpressVPN. We're coming for you.

[A]

This works with many other streaming services to Disney Plus, BBC iPlayer and more.

[B]

This. I'm definitely going to take advantage of this.

[A]

You can now get ExpressVPN at its lowest price ever. Plans start at just $3.49 a month. That's like. That's nothing.

[B]

That's like. I feel like if I'm doing the math right, that's like 12 cents a day.

[A]

You're right. I think it's so easy to use. Fire up the app, Click one button to location change location. Did you know that Shrill, starring our friend AD Bryant is only available on Netflix in Canada, the UK and Australia?

[B]

Yeah, because. Yeah, I saw that. It's not available here.

[A]

But with ExpressVPN and a few quick clicks, I can watch every episode whenever I want.

[B]

That is so worth. You gotta get the ExpressVPN. Be so smart. Okay? Be so smart. Stop paying full price for streaming services and only getting access to a fraction of their content. Get your money's [e-mail] dender don't forget to use our [e-mail] d e n D E R to get up to four extra months of ExpressVPN.

[A]

And we should say that our friend A.D. bryant. She doesn't. We don't know where she stands on this.

[B]

No, she did not ask us to be a part of this. She does. She's not associated with ExpressVPN. She's not making any money from them.

[A]

That doesn't mean that we can't use it to watch her.

[B]

Yeah, because it's illegal and it's totally fine. Okay, so go check it out.

[A]

I see your.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

What is full of chocolate?

[C]

My rings.

[A]

My rings.

[C]

Oh, my, my fantastic rings.

[B]

We got an anchor.

[C]

Have you seen yet? Did you watch it yet? No, I want to watch it. People are watching it.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Maybe I'm not supposed to say that.

[A]

I mean, we can. We can say that we were working on it.

[C]

Shut the up and get the away from me.

[B]

No, dude.

[C]

And stay away from me and my family.

[A]

That is so cool. You guys like each other, so.

[C]

Yeah, well, we just complicated.

[B]

We kind of had like a bait. Like it kind of. We like had like a little fight and we overcame it. And that's what real friendship is.

[C]

That's right. Why would he call it.

[B]

Well, he told me to get the out of his face. Oh, this was.

[A]

This was moments ago.

[C]

Yeah, moments ago. Surprised you forgot.

[B]

Yeah, very weird.

[C]

You forgot. Probably should see.

[A]

I guess we'll have to roll the tape.

[C]

I ordered sushi to your podcast. That's right, because I'm very hungry.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And then you got snacks. I have a thing right afterwards. There are no snacks. There are no. One wasn't happy. What's the name of your podcast, Head Gum.

[B]

Nah, man, that's the studio. What the.

[C]

Becca Kyle, go crazy.

[B]

Yeah, that's what's up

[C]

to do the podcast.

[B]

Talk about yourself. These are all your little factoids.

[C]

So this is yours?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't need. I think I know facts.

[B]

We don't really look.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You guys want to do my podcast? I would love to because we've been asking you to for years.

[A]

Really? The words not come.

[B]

That has not come through at all.

[C]

Yeah, well, who you reach out to, I don't know. Your reps are very difficult, notoriously, Believe me.

[A]

I think we have the same reps.

[C]

Oh, well, I'm gonna have a word with.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, that's representative.

[A]

Dude, it's been incredible knowing you the past few years.

[B]

Yeah, man, for 20 years.

[A]

I know. I was.

[C]

We're old and weird looking.

[A]

I genuinely was thinking about. I think. Do you know the first time you think you met me. I think I know the first time I saw you.

[C]

Imagine hitting a bong right now, dude.

[B]

Honestly, if you pulled on out, I would fucking roll.

[A]

Honestly, if you pulled one out, I wouldn't be surprised.

[B]

Yeah, because these guys always smack a fucking herbal than.

[A]

Smoke's more herbal and verbal than a gerbil.

[B]

Guy was rapping.

[C]

How funny we would be if I hit the. If we all hit the fucking bong.

[A]

You do that on a podcast.

[B]

You're crazy, dude.

[C]

Just try to stop me.

[B]

Do you ever. Do you ever hit something, smoke something, drink something on hell yeah.

[C]

Suck on some.

[B]

Yeah, you suck on something.

[C]

Dude's nipples at the gas station.

[B]

Dude, we were just talking about something like that.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah, sucking guy's nipples at gas stations. Because a lot of people don't know that. That's what guys do sometimes. It's like a kind of a guy thing.

[C]

You wouldn't understand.

[B]

You kind of just go in the bathroom and suck each other's nipples.

[C]

Okay, no, that's basically all we do. Wait, what was the question? When did we meet?

[A]

No, no, no.

[C]

Probably when. When you guys all lived together and you made me watch that surfer documentary. Surfer doctor.

[A]

You told me about this and I still remember. I think I saw you. I think I met you once.

[C]

I met a surfer doctor and I brought it. I texted you because I forgot the name and he knew the name.

[A]

I just want to say this and then I want you to go as deep into the surfer documentary as possible. Okay? Yeah, I think when. Goodneighbor. But I mentioned this to you and you didn't remember it. So maybe I'm fully wrong. I think when we first as a group were touring New York, we saw you in a subway and Nick was like, oh, yeah, that's Eric. This is probably like 2007.

[B]

So I think I first. Do you remember that?

[A]

Well, we would have been introduced.

[C]

Well, you guys had a private huddle and from afar, I was like, from afar?

[B]

No, you like said, hi. You guys said, what's up?

[A]

On the same train? And we're like, I was introduced to you and then later, then I met you back in la.

[C]

Memory for me.

[A]

For me it was big because, like, I was like, oh, that's that same guy that I met on a train. And then we remember when we were at the same management company. Oh, remember that shit?

[B]

Yeah, that was fucking awesome.

[C]

I sure do. I think about it every day.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I try to call you, but you don't want to talk about it.

[A]

What do you want to. What is it that you've been wanting to say about it?

[B]

Yeah, what's the surfer documentary? Surf doctor documentary. Kyle, he doesn't remember.

[C]

He's the one that put me on.

[A]

So I guess. I guess you came over to our house.

[C]

All I've seen, I've never seen a single movie. I've just seen the server documentary and the Pam Bondi testimony yesterday.

[A]

And the server documentary. Doctor, Surfer doctor.

[C]

Go ping pong between the two back and forth.

[A]

Was it funny?

[C]

No, it was like weird.

[A]

It was like just a genuinely interesting documentary.

[C]

Yeah, it was about some doctor who's clearly manic and he was like, I want to spend my life surfing. And I made love to some Bolivian woman and. And she's the. On my weird sex test. Like, I'm fucking Kinsey. She's the best. And I'll have nine kids with her and they'll all surf. And he had like, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

He traveled via van.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, I'm down to my last dime. And his kids are like, yes, okay.

[A]

I would not. I would not refer to that as the surfer guy doc. I would be like the family that's on the road.

[C]

Surfer, dock surfing surfer doc.

[B]

Like family surfer family.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, that's what I said. That's what I was.

[A]

You said that one surfer.

[C]

That's what I was trying to tell you.

[A]

I fucked up. I fucked up.

[C]

That's what I've been trying to tell you, dude.

[B]

One of my fucking oldest memories of you, I think actually was not something you did. But I remember you told me that Eric told You. Something about caffeine and anxiety and you stopped drinking caffeine.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Oh, I just drank four shots of espresso.

[A]

But you, you know, it wasn't.

[C]

Damn, I should listen to 20 year old.

[A]

It was at a party at our friend Rob Anderson's home. You told me that maybe in that you were going through a period of anxiety and you had just sort of

[C]

like, that's an ever.

[B]

That's an ever evolving thing.

[A]

And you're like, either you had stopped drinking as much coffee or Coca Cola or like you were seriously, like, decreasing the amount. And I was like, I had never.

[C]

I mean, back in those days, maybe I was mainlining, like, you know, Red Bulls and caffeine.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Pre workout. And like, I might have been like, but I don't know.

[B]

Those pre workouts, whatever.

[A]

You were like, yeah, it just makes me. You're like, makes me anxious. You know, I drank too much coffee and I was like, okay, I guess I'm just going to stop doing that. That moment. And I don't drink caffeine anymore. Anymore.

[C]

Oh, maybe you went too far.

[B]

Yeah, you got to get back in.

[A]

I've had a. I had a Coca Cola probably a year ago.

[C]

I work with an insomnia psychiatrist and she goes, a little bit of caffeine in the morning helps regulate your sugar rhythm.

[A]

What I do want to do is like, if I'm in, like, you know, Naples or something like that or like, Naples.

[B]

Naples, Florida.

[C]

Florida.

[A]

Somewhere in Italy. I'm like, oh, I want to have. I want to be able to have a cup of coffee.

[C]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Yeah, an espresso.

[C]

But that sounds like a treat.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's not like an everyday thing. Me, I'm addicted to it. And it's just in my veins. My mom's like, I'm just checking on my sushi order. I don't want to.

[A]

No problem.

[B]

We're so casual, dude.

[A]

This is where we sort of just sort of like, kind of hang out with the guests and kick it with

[B]

our boy and say, what's up? See how you've been, man. What's going down, dude.

[A]

Dude, by the way, just relate.

[B]

Let everybody see.

[C]

I'm just like, you can't hang out anymore.

[B]

I know.

[C]

There's two people that hang out. There's two types of hangouts.

[B]

Okay, kid?

[C]

There's the friends with the kids and there's the friends without the.

[B]

I know.

[C]

It's so friends with the kids. You don't see them anymore.

[B]

They just, you know, I was.

[C]

They got to hang out with other friends with kids and then awkwardly hang out with their girlfriend's friends. Kid or the kids? Friends, parents, and mom.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You guys got to go on all these blind dates.

[B]

It's wild stuff.

[C]

I'm getting a vasectomy in a week and a half.

[B]

Really?

[C]

No kids.

[B]

No kids. Congratulations. I. I remember just because I don't

[C]

think it's in my. I don't think. I don't think childcare is in my future.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But I have a niece and a nephew, and I had a dog for a second.

[B]

That's great. It's great that you're not. Like, I might want to. I mean, you.

[C]

Like, clearly, people with kids tell me only do it if you really, really. Well, first of all, probably should get a girlfriend.

[B]

Probably get a girlfriend.

[C]

Second of all, they were like, you shouldn't do it unless you really, really, really want to.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And you're really in love with somebody and you want to share that love with by making another human being and the foundation of your relationship rock solid.

[B]

Yes. That is 100.

[C]

I know. People that go, do you have the friends? Are like, oh, God, I think we're gonna break up. So maybe we'll bring a kid into it to make our relationship stronger. I go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're gonna fucking bring all that toxicity, and you're gonna put it into the kid.

[B]

It's an absolute nightmare. It is crazy to me how. How much it takes to raise a child. How?

[C]

How?

[B]

Like, because, you know, like, people are like, well, you know what you signed up for. It's like, I don't. Not really. You kind of like. Like, me and Jesse, like, we were, like, set up in a good way. We're like, this is good. We're prepared for this, but it's still, like, never know.

[C]

And every kid totally different.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

So you don't know. But also. Also, the nuclear family is not natural. Like, you. We raise kids in nomadic villages for millions of years. So you had all the aunties, all the uncles, all the grandmas, all the grandpas. The kids would raise each other. And you guys were just. We were just forging for blueberries. Fucking.

[B]

You'd be able to get out and, like, go do something because you'd have family there to watch the kids. Yeah.

[C]

You had, like. Everybody was raising each other and taking care of each other, all the multiple generations. So, like, have it. Putting the burden of raising a child on only one or two people is, like, crazy.

[B]

It's crazy.

[C]

And not natural. I remember like five nannies per one kid.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[B]

I remember when our son was born, we used to live within. We could maybe see each other's houses. And moved. I moved. Yeah.

[C]

The kid. You gotta move.

[B]

But the first year we had our dog. Got a dog.

[C]

Yeah, dog's easier.

[B]

Oh, God. It's like, so.

[C]

So I had a dog for three months and I had a meltdown. I was like, I can't do it. Really. And I gave it to my friend. So I'm a dog uncle. So I see. I see him all the time. Yeah. But my sister, who has two kids and is single and a dog and a cat.

[B]

Single.

[C]

She goes, yeah. And you can. If you have an open policy with your wife. Yeah, you can hit up my sister.

[B]

But she was. Thank you, man. She.

[C]

That's where I saw your.

[B]

Your light.

[C]

Your eyes light up.

[B]

Oh, so she's single, you got two kids. Okay.

[C]

Yeah. She's in the D.C. area. And, you know, I think it'd be. I think it would work out.

[B]

That's amazing. Yeah.

[C]

I mean.

[A]

And that's where the government's doing all this. Right? I mean.

[B]

And call. That's an offer open for both of us.

[C]

May. I mean, let me talk it over My sister, of course. But I'm sure she'd be.

[B]

Thank you so much. Opportunity.

[C]

But she goes, dude, if you can't even handle a dog for three months.

[B]

No, don't. Don't even. Don't do it. Yeah.

[A]

Are you prepared for this procedure?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Cool.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What do you.

[A]

What do you need to do? You need rest. What. What. What are the thing. What are the.

[C]

What are the. No blood thinners, no Advil for the week before. Night before, shave your scrote.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

And then there's gonna be a week. He gives you no Vicodin, no real painkillers. He's just Motrin and Tylenol. That's all I'm giving you. And a bag of ice.

[B]

How are you gonna shave your scrot? Buzzer, buzzer guy.

[C]

Or are you gonna go, I think a buzzer. Cause I think the straight blade. I'll fuck it up.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Ooh.

[B]

Ah. Yeah.

[C]

That's not ice. And he goes, I just numb it. It's a 2 millimeter incision. Snip, snip, Tie it in a bow. Just the vas defrons, not the balls. Yeah, just defro. He's from Louisiana.

[B]

He's just scooping Creole in. In between snips.

[C]

Simmering on a hot plate.

[B]

Just Making his figures.

[A]

No, no, Mr. On the DRE.

[C]

And in my professional opinion, we ought done. I miss you, Andre.

[B]

You got a little there. I feel. I filled up the sack with a couple shrimp there.

[C]

And then crab leg for your way out.

[A]

And then Sliced alone comes in.

[B]

Yes. And he's like. And he's like, hey, hey. Well, you got. Hey, man, I'm still. Hey, Doc, you said you freaking fix me, but I'm still blasting out children everywhere I go, dog.

[C]

Who gives you. What do you guys do if you. They make you do an impression on SNL that you cannot do?

[B]

Happened all the time.

[C]

Like, what did you do? They're like, all right, you're Elon and you're fucking Biden or whatever. You know what? Something you can't do, it would.

[B]

It would happen.

[C]

Whatever. Name. Name a celebrity. You're Sofia Gregara. You're Glenn Close. Are you guys just, like. You have 12 hours to figure out. It's like, can you say no when they assign. I don't know that part.

[B]

Maybe. Maybe towards the end, when there were younger cast members to be like, give it to him. Like, I can't do it.

[A]

Sometimes I feel like if you. If you really did not align, like, it's like I actually feel icky in some way or another playing this person or I don't have a way in. Like, can we pass this off? Beck was great at impressions. I was not. So for me, it was always.

[C]

I can't do a single one, I don't think.

[B]

But, like, the worst ones were the political ones, though, where there was, like. It was in cold open, and it was like, couldn't really. You had to deliver information. It wasn't, like, silly. You know what I mean? Nobody knows the person, and you have to be like, I'm playing this representative who.

[C]

Like, oh, God.

[A]

I. I just liked. Because I was bad. Like, sometimes you would lean in the game. Well. Oh, no. But I was just gonna say, like, pretending like maybe I know what I'm doing and, like, watching video and be like, hello, how you doing? Hello, how you doing? But it's like, not even being anywhere close.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But, like, thinking I'm Daryl Hammond for a moment or something.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, ultimately, I think it is just. If you could bring any part of yourself into it, you could maybe make something decent out of it.

[C]

I had. I asked Fred Armisen one time because he's so fucking good at a. It was like a. Because he's like, a musician.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That became a comedian as well. Like, I went to Jazz school. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I'm like, I was like, I asked him because I wanted to and he had some, he had some weird thing. He goes, I study how they like express their face. I thought it'd be all like, he's listening back because he's a musician.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And just get.

[C]

But he goes, I try to like mimic like how they furrow their brow and like move their jowls. And sometimes that locks me into like, and like figuring out what they say a lot. But I don't know, it's. It's like a specific skill. I don't know. I don't know.

[B]

It was always some people being shot out of the cannon. Like, yeah, I don't, I don't know. How do you.

[C]

Sorry to be like a no, no, please, nerdy nerd out fan.

[A]

But like really cool job.

[C]

It was really amazing.

[B]

Iconic dude, New York City, 50 years crazy look.

[A]

And like the after parties are not exactly what you'd think.

[B]

So yeah, we love talking about it.

[C]

What do you do for like nerves? Weren't you so nervous like in the beginning? Like it seems so nerve wracking.

[B]

It's so nerd.

[C]

Why is it still live? Like just tape it like during the week or something. Why only write everything on Tuesday? Like why is it all steampunk? Yeah, like why don't you use a teleprompter, not cue cards. Why don't you just tape it Saturday night, take out the live. Like live has no meaning anymore for, for a gen gen Alpha, Gen Z.

[B]

I think it does. They're like, I think it does for kids. Does it like 13 year olds, like if it's on, if it comes on and they're like, it's on and they're having like sleepovers, but you're watching or

[C]

you're watching everything on YouTube.

[A]

I, I think, I feel like what you're saying makes a lot of sense.

[B]

I mean, I think like why you're

[C]

going through so much added pain on top of the pain of making it.

[A]

Here are the two, I think genuine answers. I think one is like, it's still Lauren's show and he runs it essentially in there in the pretty much the same way he did since 1975. And like why change something that has worked for 50 years. I do think though also I agree with you that most people are probably consuming it as YouTube clips, but there is still something exciting like like watching a football game or something like that. That because of the live component, like

[C]

if you are watching it Yeah, I just feel. But you're right and bad for the performance.

[A]

It is terrifying.

[C]

Why are you putting these people through this? Give them multiple takes. If.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Club a line or they do something so you can dial it in. Right, right.

[A]

Like a live sitcom or something like that.

[C]

Why are you. I think even if live sitcom is, like, live to tape, it's like you still get take two, take three, take four. It just seems, like, cruel to do.

[A]

I'm with it.

[B]

It is, but it also is, like.

[C]

And like, unnecessarily nerve wracking.

[B]

Yes, it is also, though, like, it is. It has worked for 50 years.

[C]

So he's like, why don't.

[B]

It's like a. It's like a lot.

[C]

Why not have the teleprompter?

[B]

Because the teleprompter could break and it could go down and you can't change it in the moment. Moment. Oh, okay. Because we'll be in sketches where they're throwing out cards and they're like, no, it's this right in the moment and you have to stay on it. So you have, like, people that are

[C]

getting good at, like, reading when the nerves are up. Like, that's like, we just. Crazy skill. Pretend I'm talking to you, but look over here and go, hey, Joe Biden, you're being a. Right now.

[B]

See, you're good at it.

[A]

Dude, that was actually funny.

[B]

Speaking of.

[C]

Sign me up.

[B]

Speaking of teleprompters, we just. It's hard to bring up my Broadway debut, but we just debuted.

[C]

Oh, yeah, same.

[B]

Same show. How did you deal with those? The teleprompters in dat. Did you like it? Did you have fun?

[C]

It was the same set every night.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So you got used to it. And I was the very first week. So I had a week of rehearsal that nobody else.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, two weeks.

[C]

I had a week of rehearsal in the. In this, like, rehearsal space, and I had another week of rehearsal on the stage. So I had way more prep time. Me, Abby, Ike, and Jon Stewart had way more prep time than anybody.

[B]

Yeah. I had two one hour rehearsals by myself before doing it live in front of.

[C]

Because I was there when Gaffigan and Ben came in, and it's just like, boom, you're in. That's it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So that's a way more nerve wracking. But me and everybody, me, Abby and Ike were like, doing breathing exercises backstage. I had a panic attack two. Two days before. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, damn.

[C]

And I wasn't nervous the whole time until that panic attack. The Wednesday before the. The Friday show.

[B]

And so what. Why do you deal with a panic attack? You just. Like.

[C]

I do breathing techniques. I have a beta blocker.

[B]

I got all the beta blockers are incredible.

[C]

Yeah. An actual true. Like, your heart is like. You're on the floor. Panic attack. You need a benzodiaz. You need a colon or something. Wow.

[B]

I don't think I've ever had one.

[A]

Can you. Can you talk? Very. And.

[C]

But they're very addictive.

[A]

Forgive me if I'm setting you up here, but, like. Yeah, how. Because to me, you present yourself as a very confident, always funny.

[C]

I hear that a lot. But I'm pretty. I'm a ball of nerves. I wish I could, like. I wish you could talk to my therapist.

[A]

So do. I mean. And that's been consistent throughout.

[C]

My therapist is here.

[B]

That's great.

[C]

They're the. They're delivering my sushi.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Let's bring in a little Brandon.

[B]

Let's bring in Brandon. Well, I think you. I think the problem is your. Your therapist is your, like, underage assistant.

[A]

Do you feel like you've had, like. What is the other.

[C]

Looking at my sushi order. I know. Seems like I'm like. No, no, no, it's not jaded.

[B]

No, dude, dude, you're right on brand. You're right on brand, brother. You're doing everything we wanted.

[C]

We're talking three minutes till delivery.

[B]

So that's. So you're going to.

[C]

I didn't get any for you because I thought you guys ate.

[B]

No, I got a little.

[C]

You could have some.

[B]

I got to say, I would. I would love some. Where's it going?

[C]

Not a lot.

[B]

No, Just a couple pieces. Like five, six, seven pieces. You know, just like eight pieces or something like that. It's not that big of a deal. It's like you got enough for everybody, right?

[C]

I think it comes. I don't know where I got it from. Sushi.

[B]

What, a fish or whatever. Something.

[C]

No, no. Ike. Sushi. K, maybe.

[B]

Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

[C]

I'm not, I'm not. I'm. I've had to build confidence over the years. Yeah, of course.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, congrats again on everything. It's been awesome having Eric Andre here.

[B]

No, no, man.

[C]

But I love talk pirates.

[B]

Oh, is that what it's gonna be? Don't tell us yet?

[C]

No, no, no. I mean, there was a whole list.

[B]

No, no, no, don't tell us yet.

[A]

I wanna. Okay. I wanna know this thing which maybe you have to talk about all the time, which if you do constantly have to talk about this. I apologize. And you can say I don't want

[C]

to talk about it.

[A]

But is it fair to say back?

[B]

Yep, it is.

[A]

Eric throws some epic parties.

[B]

Yes. Well, I honestly wouldn't know because I've always been in New York and I've never been able to go to one of his birthday party.

[A]

I got to go to.

[C]

They might like. I'm kind of getting burnt out on a fucking. There's some sick ones. What is.

[A]

Yeah. What are the highlights?

[C]

The quinceanera was one of the best ones. The one last year was one of the best ones. The Cult.

[B]

The Cult, like in New York invited

[A]

me to last year. But like, in a way that I didn't really understand what was happening. He maybe sent me like a Pinterest.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What is.

[C]

What am I doing there? Yeah, yeah. Well, you had to dress. You had to dress like.

[A]

I didn't get like a place.

[C]

It was complicated.

[A]

I just got a Pinterest link with

[B]

like, look, it was pretty complicated.

[C]

It was one of the best ones. I think the kins in your. On last year's one and the 40th one at the. Do you have one of the best ones?

[B]

Do you pay for those yourself or do you get like sponsors to pay for? They become events.

[C]

A combination of both. Like, it's been every combo of me in the beginning, of course, but then it got to a point where I couldn't afford the version I wanted. So then it became a ticketed event and then it became like a sponsored. It's a. It's like a combo of sponsors. And.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Just to get all the clowns and the strippers and the Santa Clauses. There was one. There was 1. My 40th at the knockdown center in. I might have a book was. Do I.

[B]

It looks like it. I don't know.

[A]

I think you're rubbing your eye right now.

[B]

Everybody listening. Eric's been rubbing his eye for the best.

[C]

I had a bunch of guys that looked like me and dressed exactly like me. So I had a baby blue tuxedo

[B]

on, like the real Slim Shady music video.

[C]

Totally. And I had them just mill about the party. And their only direction I gave them was that they try to be like three quarter turn away from everybody as much as they could. And if anybody came up to them and talked to them, they had to act like they were mildly offended that they would think like you thought. Yeah, they were me.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know what I mean? So Dominican guys I found and they had like the same haircut, you know. Same skin tone.

[A]

Did you get to hear of any of the reactions of the party? Goes like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

[C]

Oh, no, no. Because I was on stage, I was like, I did something bad. I got, like, a little too high too quick, and I invited the whole audience on stage, and the guy from Live Nation came out and he rip. I had a tank of nitrous in my hand. He ripped the nitrous tank out of my hand. And he, like, he's like. He's like, I swear to God. I swear to God.

[B]

That's a really nice way of putting it again.

[A]

I will.

[C]

I will end this party right now.

[B]

Yeah, I was like that. I was.

[C]

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. And then I jumped in the crowd and, like, crowd surged away, but I couldn't find my nitrous for a while.

[B]

I was like, oh, that's sad.

[C]

And then. And then. So I don't remember.

[A]

Is that what Dennis Hopper is sucking on in Blue Velvet?

[C]

No, it's oxygen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, he's just trying to breathe.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So, like, when you're doing these. These parties, like, is that, like. Does that. Does that feel good for you? Like, are you, like, the. The chaos of it, you know, and, like, the craziness? You're like, does that feel.

[C]

It feels like, better than doing comedy live.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Because it's like a. It's like an experiential. Like, it's an art installation. My sushi is here.

[A]

Okay, go grab it. Yeah, okay, Go grab it.

[B]

Yeah, go get it. So we're rolling.

[A]

So let's.

[B]

Let's just. We might cut this part, but right now, Eric is leaving to go get his sushi. We're rolling all around. Oh, he's back already. Iki.

[A]

Hey, is this. I know. We heard the laughter, like, oh, this is yours. That's hilarious.

[B]

Okay. Nobody's ever done that before.

[A]

Oh, he's going to eat on the podcast.

[B]

Okay, so we brought it in.

[A]

Oh, no. Did he bring his bong?

[C]

So, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So you know the premise of our podcast, Eric.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We're trying to figure out what our podcast should be.

[B]

Okay. We gotta.

[C]

Now, how is Larry David on. On Saturday Night Live?

[B]

He was awesome. My favorite host.

[C]

Cool, right?

[B]

Such a cool guy.

[A]

Sketch we made beers, I think, is

[C]

probably one of my favorite things we've ever made. That's the best.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

That's the best sketch on snl. Well, you know, that's, like, right up my alley, that type.

[B]

Yeah. That's very sweet. All right.

[C]

So now we gotta get beyond snl. People watch it and they don't even. They're just like, is Larry David on a nude trivia TV show?

[B]

What is this episode of TV that airs?

[A]

Hey, man, but I really want to say, like, I love you. I respect you.

[C]

I'm Nancy Reagan.

[B]

That's a good Kyle. What do you think our podcast should be about? What do you think our podcast should be about? We're getting a signal here. We got to move on. Give us. Tell us what we're going to go do. We're going to pick the thing.

[C]

And then. And then you guys said that I couldn't pick it.

[B]

No, we didn't. We don't know. We have no idea.

[A]

We didn't say that.

[C]

Somebody's playing games over whatever you want. Whatever. I'm not pointing fingers.

[B]

What's the thing? What do they say you couldn't do

[A]

whatever you want to do?

[B]

Is it bad stuff? Is it illegal? Is it. Is it.

[C]

Come on, let's kick. Kick it good neighbor style. You know what I mean?

[A]

You want to do coke on our podcast?

[C]

Let's go back. Let's go back to our olden days. Is that what it was? You know what I mean? Comedy groups, writing style from back in the day. You know what I mean?

[A]

I don't think I've.

[C]

Are you guys known for cocaine?

[B]

Look at the.

[C]

Look at the Mount Rushmore of.

[B]

I guess that does scream cocaine.

[C]

Excuse me. Have you ever been in a good neighbor's writer's room? You know what I mean?

[B]

Yes. Yes. Well, we do pick our nose a lot. Like, I do pink until I get scabs and a lot of boogers. And then I.

[C]

It's like a mucus mess. Yeah, I feel like the mucan x booger.

[B]

The booger man over here. What do you think? Our podcast. Okay.

[C]

Pirates.

[A]

Pirates. Great. Okay. We're gonna be right back with our Pirates podcast.

[B]

Let's go do it. Come on, Eric.

[C]

Let's go to another room.

[B]

Yeah, we go to another room.

[C]

That can't be true.

[A]

What's up, everybody? Yo, yo, yo, yo.

[B]

Yeah, man. What's up?

[A]

You're looking clean as. Thank you.

[B]

Yeah, I washed and you're looking. You're looking pretty clean.

[A]

Can you say something about your hair?

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

It really is so. You look like an action figure. It's awesome. It, like, has, like. Dude, I don't even know how to describe. It's like handsome. You look like handsome guy.

[B]

Oh, my God, that's so nice. You know, I'm Always messing with it. I'm always trying to figure it out.

[A]

These two little strands, you know about.

[B]

Yeah, I kind of. I saw them in the mirror, but some. It surprised me. It's not something I planned. You can't plan that. I don't want to touch it.

[A]

Have you ever seen those guys?

[B]

No, I didn't know they were there. Wow. I didn't know. Yeah, I don't. Yeah. This is just kind of a new thing to me, but I'm totally down with it. I'm trying to always grow my.

[A]

Because they're bouncing around as you talk.

[B]

Yeah, it's kind of cool.

[A]

Like, it's good.

[B]

You like it, though?

[A]

I love it.

[B]

Amazing. But speaking of hair.

[A]

Bouncy little hair and sailing the seven seas.

[B]

You know what time it is? You told us pirates. What the Is going on with Beck and Kyle and a barrel of rum. We've got our guests here on Pirates podcast. Ahoy. Eric Andre, one of the biggest pirates I have ever known.

[C]

What's up?

[A]

How you doing, Eric? By the way, I love your.

[B]

Yeah, dude.

[C]

What the is going on?

[B]

Dude, It's a podcast called Pirates Podcast.

[A]

You've heard it. You know it. You know it.

[B]

Yeah, you're one of the. Like, I feel like it's fun.

[C]

I'm confused as hell.

[B]

Yeah, man. This is a podcast about pirates that we're talking.

[A]

Do you have.

[C]

I don't want to talk about it.

[B]

We could talk about pirates. Or if you. If you don't want to talk about pirates.

[C]

I told you a podcast about beef. I emailed your producer.

[B]

No, but you're supposed to tell us here.

[C]

Oh, it's a podcast about pirates.

[B]

Yeah, because you pitched. You told us.

[A]

We already did. Well, we. Well, we already did beef.

[B]

Yeah, we already did beef. And this is part of the podcast. Damn, he still got it. Yeah, it's like a pirate beef.

[C]

It's what's for dinner.

[B]

Eric

[C]

Aaron Copeland. He's a famous.

[A]

You guys still the most random guy. You never know what to expect with Eric Andre.

[C]

What are you over me? You're complimenting his hair. You don't say a word about my hair.

[B]

He's on mode.

[C]

Don't get me started with that.

[B]

No, you guys, that looks great.

[C]

Oh, no, don't give me that secondhand compliment because I fished for it.

[B]

Yeah, he's got. He's got the tight curls. You've got the loose curls.

[A]

He's got the tight shoe.

[C]

At least back it knows how to make a guest feel welcome.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

And it's like you got the Pirates.

[B]

This is the Pirates podcast. This is the Pirates podcast. What do you think of when you think of pirates?

[C]

I think of Kyle tripping and falling on the way to the bathroom and me laughing because he's a fucking pig. Oink, oink. Why don't you join the fucking cops?

[B]

Wow.

[C]

You're a loser, just like your old man.

[B]

And spoken like a true pirate. This total.

[C]

Why don't you go suck your dad's dick like you used to?

[B]

Yes. That is pirate energy. And I didn't know. Is that true? I actually didn't know this.

[A]

Yeah, it's funny. Pretty original. Nobody's really doing it these days. Everybody loves that.

[C]

Hey, Pirates of the Caribbean, maybe.

[B]

Yes. As we all know, that is one of the biggest pirates rides out there.

[A]

I just wish. Here's the thing.

[C]

This is a real.

[A]

I've had this conversation before with Beck. I just wish sometimes he would come to help me out a bit.

[B]

Okay, okay. Hey, lay off, Kyle. He's never sucked his dad's dick. All right?

[C]

Okay, well, because it hurts like a

[A]

one man fight all the time.

[B]

All right, I'm coming.

[A]

Just getting pounded on and nobody's. Nobody's helped me out. And maybe I deserve the pounding, but I don't think I do.

[B]

He doesn't deserve that.

[A]

How do I defend myself?

[C]

Show your viewership. Your sweet, warm penis.

[B]

How do you know it's warm?

[A]

It was warm twice.

[B]

And it keeps on bringing this shit up. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. We're a band of pirates. We're a band of pirates. You come for him, you come for me, and I will come for you. Dude, come for.

[C]

Bring it.

[B]

No, don't. I don't want to.

[C]

Look, Kyle, I'll take you down.

[B]

Look, I know you're bringing pirate energy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's what we do on the show. Yeah, of course, Kyle, as you know. But I bring the. Kyle likes to talk more about pirates. I bring the pirate energy.

[C]

Yeah. I feel like, Beck, you're kind of doing the heavy lifting. This guy's kind of like just nodding off to sleep.

[B]

No, no.

[C]

Maybe it's just a one on one kind of podcast. Like, clearly, homeboy needs a vacation.

[B]

Do you want to do sex in the seven seas? Do you want to do. Brother, I'm with you. Do you want to. This is just. He's. He's being a pirate.

[A]

I just feel like Eric's on his own trip and he doesn't really care about what other people think right now.

[B]

Yeah, he's he's being a pirate. He doesn't care. He doesn't care. He's kind of pirate.

[A]

He's like playing a pirate.

[B]

I think he's playing a pirate. I think.

[C]

Done, Silver bitch.

[B]

He's kind of a pirate and we. And we can handle him. We can talk about. He. He can be a pirate and we can talk about pirates. Let him be a pirate.

[C]

What are you going to do about it, homeboy?

[B]

He's kind of the pirate. Exactly.

[A]

What did he say?

[C]

Mooney.

[B]

That's what they said.

[C]

Booty Mooney.

[A]

What's your favorite pirate?

[C]

Was your last name Mooney, or is it Paul Mooney?

[A]

Is my last name. Paul Mooney.

[B]

You think his name is Kyle Paul Mooney?

[C]

I thought that for years.

[B]

Oh, my God, that's cool, dude. I think that's the only time that's happened. But let's talk about sexiest pirates or something like that.

[C]

What were you named after? Kyle? Like some redneck that like, hit his kids and drinks monster. And Paul Mooney, that's what your parents decided to name you after? Real original, dude.

[A]

I didn't. You didn't even give me a chance to answer.

[B]

Well, tell me that's what you're named after.

[C]

What were you named after?

[A]

Well, my Mooney is the name that my family has had for.

[C]

So your parents didn't pick the last name?

[A]

No, they were. No.

[B]

Did your parents speak your last name? Your dad picked it.

[C]

I thought that was a normal thing.

[B]

Who picked it? Your mom or dad?

[C]

Still don't know.

[B]

So they had their last names were. Andre?

[C]

I can't say either way.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

This pirate right there, dude, I've always

[A]

been interested by the fact that, you know, you got the old school pirates, you know, with the skull and crossbones, but then you got the interview.

[C]

He doesn't want to answer where his name's from, but yeah, we'll talk about a hook for a hand or whatever the fuck you're fucking.

[A]

You want me to tell you where Kyle came from? Yeah, I think it was a name that my mom and dad liked. They thought I was gonna be a girl and my name was gonna be Heather.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[A]

But Kyle, I believe, is an Irish name. And my father is very proud of his Irish heritage.

[B]

They're Irish.

[C]

He's from Ireland.

[A]

He's not from Ireland. His probably, I imagine.

[C]

So why wouldn't he be proud of his American heritage?

[B]

Boston?

[C]

I didn't. I hope he didn't watch the Bad Bunny halftime show and that's I'm not going to get political here.

[B]

Right, right.

[C]

But.

[B]

But you were not watching. You're a Kid Rock because you're a real pirate.

[C]

Kid's name is going to be America usa. Because I'm proud of the nation that I'm from.

[B]

I have.

[A]

I'm not coming out.

[C]

I'm gonna go to Ireland and see if they're as proud as we are here in the good old usa.

[B]

And my first name is a problem Free nation. My first name is actually Christopher.

[A]

So do you think pirates really said r. Do you think they really said,

[C]

I gotta hang out with you, man?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Come on, man. Let's chill, dude.

[C]

Well, I try to schedule stuff with Kyle.

[B]

This takes me to. You want to get the galaxy.

[C]

I should cut out the middle man.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. My son's old enough. He can take care of himself now he's four. So I can just leave.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Give him an iPad.

[A]

I feel like I've been a decent friend.

[B]

I thought you said give him an eye patch.

[C]

Henry Morgan, that Captain Morgan is based off of, really was a psychopath. He was a Welsh psychopath.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

He would string sp. He would. He was a bandit. He would string Spanish soldiers up by their ball sack. This is true.

[B]

By ball sack. They did. They wouldn't rip.

[C]

They would rip. He would like, slowly torture somebody before he killed them because he wanted to create a legacy. So a pirate. A pirateer is a pirate that's hired and commissioned by the British Navy. So they would. They would hire pirates who were total outlaw bandits, scumbag alcoholics.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

And. And elevate them to the status of privateer. But they'd be the same degenerate. And they would attack black Spanish and French in the night. And they were like horrible sociopaths. Damn murderers and rapists.

[B]

And it's kind of what our president's doing now a little bit. Yeah. He exonerated people, psychopaths who were trying to overthrow the government and turn them into ice officers.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's just like taking a play out of the pirate book.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's cool.

[C]

It's a bit of a yar matey kind of thing.

[A]

Pirate.

[B]

Yeah. That's amazing. I didn't know that.

[A]

It's. Oh, it's so cool to know that you know your. Your pirate history. That's. I didn't know you're a pirate. History Bunny stuff. Yeah. Some other things I wanted to ask you about the pirates.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you ever been in video piracy or Internet piracy?

[C]

Have I been on The Internet.

[B]

Have you ever been in video piracy?

[A]

Have you ever pirated any videos?

[B]

Have you ever gone to a movie theater and filmed the tv?

[A]

What is a butt pirate? Do you remember this phrase?

[B]

I remember butt pirates, yes.

[A]

What is a butt pirate?

[B]

I think a butt pirate is a pirate who pillages butts.

[A]

So, like, they take. They take their.

[B]

They take the booty.

[A]

The booty could be the treasure.

[C]

Yeah, it is the treasure.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Booty means treasure.

[C]

Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle.

[A]

You know that Johnny Depp, Luck of the Irish?

[B]

Johnny Depp was based his character off

[A]

Keith Richards from the Rolling Stones.

[C]

Did you read Keith Richards book?

[A]

No.

[C]

It's like a thousand pages of like. Mick didn't come up with that song. I did listen to the recordings. He's like so bitter.

[B]

Did you read it? It. Nah. You listen to it.

[C]

Simon. Simon told me. Simon told me. OTSI is based on Keith Richards.

[B]

Oh, wow. That's incredible.

[C]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

Guy's so freaking smart. He's got that big old brain. Simon Rich, smart guy. Shout out to Shaman Simon Rich. You know, he knows his pirates legend. Yeah, legend. I would love to get him on here to talk about pirates. Simon, if you're listening, he does.

[C]

I always, like, when I was in. I was reading a book about the history of rumors when I was in the Caribbean. Yeah, there's all this. There's chapters on pirates, you know, So I was like texting. I was taking pictures of the pirate information and texting it to Simon. Like, throughout the day. I was like, these guys were. We think of them as like, yo, unicorns, Fun guy. Like a mascot locked in service.

[B]

They were like pirates.

[C]

No, they were like Jeffrey Dahmer.

[B]

Yeah, they were absolutely psychopaths then.

[A]

They really did love rum.

[C]

They drank a lot of rumors.

[A]

Rum. You drink rum straight?

[C]

Mostly in cocktails. It's too strong for me. Straight? Yeah, a little bit straight. And, you know, at the tastings, I do them straight at the distillery.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

But it's like, you know, it's a high abv.

[A]

How do you feel about being on the seven seas yourself? You get seasick? Do you like being on.

[C]

I don't really get seasick. I get carsick. But I'll take Dramamine and that usually does the trick.

[B]

I get car sick too.

[C]

It happened later in life, so I think it's probably the stress. Do you think in the John Sarno stress mechanism or something?

[A]

Crossbones and stuff? You think that's genuine? They had flags.

[C]

You think that's Gen X?

[A]

That is definitely Gen X.

[C]

That's the don't taste me bro guy. I think he was like interviewing the John Kerry. He's like, were you part of his skull and crossbones? John carries like, don't tase me, bro.

[B]

I don't remember that.

[A]

I actually don't remember that video.

[C]

Don't just look up. Don't tase me, bro.

[B]

It's out there, dude.

[C]

Let's pull it up on the screen real quick.

[B]

That's for me when I hit.

[A]

I've tried before.

[B]

As for me when I hit the islands. Yeah. It's rum o' clock for me.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[B]

Yeah, you try to drink. Try to drink scotch on an island.

[C]

Doesn't work unless you're on the island.

[A]

Tequila. Tequila feels Scotland.

[B]

Yeah. No, very good. You actually do know your geography.

[A]

I feel like tequila is okay on an island. A margarita, I feel like.

[B]

Yeah, it might not be whatever you like.

[C]

It's whatever you like.

[B]

You can do whatever.

[A]

You actually have a really good attitude.

[C]

Do you try to get you to open up.

[B]

Do you feel like you try to live the pirate lifestyle style, though?

[C]

For real, I know you got all this Irish kind of pent up stuff about Ireland.

[B]

No, but for real, you try to do like.

[C]

What's that?

[B]

Do you feel like you try to live the pirate lifestyle?

[C]

Yeah, big time.

[B]

Amazing.

[C]

Big time. But now let me ask both of you. Yeah, you're both Irish.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, a little bit.

[C]

And that's the part that's the premise of the podcast. Or it's pirates.

[B]

It's pirates.

[C]

Because we're kind of mixing metaphors.

[A]

Yeah, I'm British and then like I told you the origin of my name. And then I feel like we sort of.

[C]

Wait a minute, you. So your dad's Irish and he's proud of it.

[B]

And then your mom, she was partially

[A]

Irish and Polish, but not proud of either. I would say kind of leaned in the. In the. Into the Polish stuff, but was actually very Irish because her mom was very Irish.

[C]

And have you been to Ireland?

[A]

Estranged mom?

[C]

Have you been to Ireland?

[A]

I have, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And what did they. Did they treat you like one of your. Like a brother?

[B]

Were they like.

[A]

Everybody treated me very nicely, but I also wasn't like volunteering the fact.

[B]

Now wait and break the ice with that. You gotta start.

[A]

May I have another beer? My family's Irish. Well, it's always great being on Pirates with my great friend.

[C]

Wait, that's it. I got way more pirate shit. What else do you want to say?

[B]

About pirates?

[C]

Brother Blackbeard? Are you kidding me? The guy was a freak. He would, like, put gunpowder in his rum. Really? He would light his hair on fire before fucking battles and kill people. He was like, a total freakazoid.

[A]

Love about you, Eric, is that you've had all this time to talk about pirates and you fought it.

[C]

Well, I just.

[A]

And now you're claiming that, you know, we got.

[C]

Where I'm from, we take our time. Yeah, I know the Irish. Fast paced lifestyle.

[A]

Like, I want to know everything you know and love about pirates. That's what we're here to tell you.

[B]

Tell us something.

[C]

We're getting sidetracked with a fucking irrelevant congressperson.

[B]

Whatever it was, I'm sorry.

[A]

I had to watch it.

[B]

Apologize. I'm sorry.

[A]

I know I keep doing shit like this.

[B]

I'm sorry about Kyle, man.

[A]

You've helped me realize that I've been fucking up for a while. Well, I'm sorry. I want to know about Blackbird. I want to know black.

[B]

Yeah, Blackbird.

[C]

Dude, with your Irish accent, I can't understand a word you're saying.

[A]

Blackbeard. Tell me about Blackbeard. Tell me about all the pirates.

[C]

I don't feel so lucky right now, if you catch my drift.

[B]

So Blackbeard was a freak?

[A]

Like, why?

[B]

Did you know any other pirate names?

[C]

Yeah, all of the guys.

[B]

Give us another pirate.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

We're 20 minutes into it.

[C]

Henry Kissinger? No. No. What was the guy, Harry Belafonte? No. Ernest Hemingway.

[B]

Oh, he was a pirate.

[C]

No. But, you know, he drank.

[B]

Yeah, he drank.

[A]

Jimmy Buffin has a song called a pirate turns 40. 40.

[C]

Buffett was landing his private plane in Jamaica because he wanted to show Bono and the Edge. The other guy's from YouTube. Maybe Bono and somebody. Other celebrities. He was like, let me tell you how beautiful Jamaica is. He landed plane. The Jamaican police started shooting at them erratically. There were kids in the plane. No one, thank God, got shot. And then they were like, oh, we're sorry, man. Look at the Irish. They go. We thought you were like this drug smuggling plane that we were looking for. Sorry. Jimmy Buffett.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I swear, it's not usually like this to you, too. They crashed the plane.

[A]

I'm sorry, guys.

[B]

It's not usually like this. Come back one more time. Next time. It'll be cool.

[C]

Any other pirates? I mean pirates. Specific information about pirates. Can I check my phone? Yeah. Like a specific thing about pirates.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's what I was trying to get at the whole time.

[B]

And you know.

[C]

Hold on, hold on.

[B]

We're new to.

[C]

What about Tecumseh?

[B]

No. Who's that?

[C]

The native American guy that was trying to make one Native American nation bugger killed in the war of 1812. Not a pirate.

[B]

Not a pirate.

[C]

But during the. The era. You know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, yeah. I mean, there's still pirates.

[A]

They're still pirates.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Big pirate reveal coming up in just a moment.

[B]

More like Pirate Revere pirate. It's kind of like they would drink.

[C]

They would drink rum. Okay, we got that.

[B]

The British are coming.

[C]

Pirate. Pirate.

[A]

Pirate. Paul Revere.

[C]

Pirates, increasingly disappointed by the spoils of the waning Spanish empire, gradually moved north to harass British traders. When they found Rome, they consumed it with gusts. After the pirate George Lother captured a ship in 1722 en route from Barbados to Boston. Irish there.

[B]

Pirate. That's where you're.

[A]

My father's from Massachusetts.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Boston or from Falmouth.

[B]

Okay, Falmouth.

[C]

He took pains to inventory his hall. Five barrels of sugar, six slaves. Which we're not even going to go get anywhere.

[A]

Why is he staring at me?

[C]

You know, your dad's from Framingham or whatever you said in Massachusetts. A box of English goods and 13 hogsheads of good rum. Hogsheads, yeah. As the 18th century regues rum came to displace wine and accounts of pirate debauchery and to be associated with disorder and mayhem on the seas. This is a quote. I soon found that any death was preferable to being likened with such a vile crew of miscreants. Wrote Philip Ashton, a sea captains captured by pirates in 1724. Monstrous cursing and swearing and hideous blasphemies and open defiance of heaven appalled him deeply. As did one other bad habit. Prodigious drinking. Now here's this. Captain George Roberts of London was overtaken by the Boston Pirate. What? Ned Lowe. Look him up. Pirates are coming from Boston too. It's not all the Caribbean.

[B]

Wow. Your dad knows about him.

[C]

Dude, that's your dad. Ned Lowe.

[B]

He's probably friends with him.

[C]

Probably a direct line to Rob Low.

[A]

Yeah. And also May buddy's with Larry Bird. Thanks so much for being podcast. We had a great guest. Eric Andre.

[C]

Ton of more stuff and you can.

[B]

We could do that extra. We'll put that. You'll see that on the Patreon.

[A]

Thanks, guys. Great.

[C]

We have re shoots.

[B]

Oh,

[A]

Well, Eric, it really has been an incredible time with you. I thought pirates was a really good suggestion.

[B]

Yeah, and it turns out you guys

[C]

didn't say anything about pirates.

[B]

Oh, but we hold space for pirates. That's true.

[C]

You did hold space.

[B]

Hold space for pirates and, you know, go over anything.

[C]

All right, let me hear some of your impressions.

[B]

Yarg. I'm a pirate.

[C]

What about this? I'm Charlie Chaplin. I don't say a word.

[B]

That's good. That's really good. Also, here's another pirate thing.

[A]

Booty. He said booty.

[B]

It's like. It's that. Oh, the parrot. Yeah.

[C]

What about. Oh, I thought you were doing Beastie Boys. Well, I call it booty.

[B]

Booty.

[C]

That's what it is.

[B]

What was that with License to Ill or something? Paul's Boutique.

[C]

Okay, which. Which characters did you play on the show on snl? Yeah, Biden. Did you do Biden?

[B]

No, I did.

[C]

You did the Vice President Putin?

[B]

I did Putin. Putin.

[C]

Pence McConnell, your pens is fucking good.

[B]

Oh, thanks. You. It was.

[C]

What's your Putin? Give me?

[B]

It was like. It was just kind of like I was always shirtless, and he'd be like. He's like. He's just kind of talk like this, and he was kind of like, hey, big boy.

[C]

Yeah, I got on snl, dude.

[B]

Yeah, man.

[A]

Well, we had a great time with Eric Andre.

[B]

You know, Eric, is there anything I do, like, impressions?

[A]

Is there anything you'd like to plug?

[C]

Oh, I got a podcast called Bombing with Eric Andre on iHeartRadio, and I'd love to have you guys on. I would love to come on or come on individually. I know you're very busy. Not really responsive.

[B]

Yeah, no, I will bring him on with me because we're gonna. We got stuff to promote.

[C]

Kind of make drugs monolithic, you know, So I don't know if it's your vibe.

[B]

We would love to get some of your audience.

[C]

The whole Irish Polish thing.

[A]

I actually might cry. I might cry right now.

[B]

Doing great. All right. This was an awesome. It was a great episode with Eric. He brought us to the edge, pirate style. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week on what's Our Podcast.

[A]

Thanks for stopping by the Batcave.

[B]

Thanks for coming by the Batcave.

[A]

What's Our Podcast is a Headgum podcast created and hosted by Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney.

[B]

The show is produced and engineered by Richelle Chen and Anya Kanofskaya, with production support from Ali Khan and Ryan Lutzow.

[A]

Our executive producer is Anya Kanefskaya. Katie Moose is our VP of content at Headgum. Our theme music is made by us.

[B]

For more podcasts by headgum, visit headcum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[C]

That was a Headgum podcast.