Jake Johnson & Lamorne Morris

Summary

What's Our Podcast? with Beck Bennett & Kyle Mooney

Episode: Jake Johnson & Lamorne Morris
Date: January 28, 2026
Host: Headgum

---

Episode Overview

This episode features Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney—former SNL castmates and roommates—joined by special guests Jake Johnson and Lamorne Morris, best known as co-stars from New Girl. True to their show’s concept, Beck and Kyle continue their ongoing search for their podcast’s purpose, turning to their guests for suggestions and hilarious debate. The conversation weaves through friendship, podcasting, aging, fatherhood, showbiz, and male health, all laced with trademark absurdist tangents and playful banter.

---

Main Themes and Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter: Embracing the Unknown (00:21–04:11)

• The episode kicks off with classic Beck and Kyle chaos: fart jokes, riffs on "The Force Awakens," and playful confusion about the show’s premise.
• Kyle commends Beck for "finally" introducing the show up top:
  • Quote: "You introduced the show within the top, I'm going to say four and a half minutes." (03:38 — Kyle)

2. Podcast Listening & The ‘Rockos’ Thread (04:15–07:17)

• Kyle shares that in 2026, he’s shifted from gym music to listening to more podcasts, like "The Rizzler" and "Big Justice and AJ."
• Discussion on how their "Rockos" thread bridges their friendship group.

3. ‘Solutions With Beck’: Always Fixing Problems (08:00–10:49)

• Beck’s habit of pitching solutions for bizarre problems—like making the Indiana Jones stunt ball inflatable—leads Kyle to propose:
  • Quote: "I feel like you could pitch that around town. Like, Solutions with Beck." (09:29 — Kyle)
• They create a mock show about problem-solving, riffing on strange soda fountain mishaps and Kyle’s “yellow water” mystery.

4. Friendship & Performing: Beck’s Broadway Recap (13:37–18:26)

• Beck recounts his experience on Broadway in Simon Rich’s show, reading short stories aloud with Cecily Strong, Wayne Brady, Jim Gaffigan, and band Lawrence.
  • Quote: "It kind of felt like a fun performance vacation because I didn’t need to memorize lines...just have fun with it." (14:58 — Beck)
• Candid discussion about missing each other during events, winter break blues, and juggling family life.

5. Demon Possessions and Podcast Characters (11:03–12:44)

• Playful sketch where Kyle and Beck pretend to be possessed by demonic podcast personas "Kyler" and "Bucky," leading to mock Exorcist references.

6. Podcast Format Meta-Talk (20:31–21:01)

• Beck reiterates the premise: "This is the podcast where we don't know what our podcast is and we have guests on. They tell us what our podcast is about. Okay. Now go ahead." (03:32)

---

Jake Johnson & Lamorne Morris Join (30:10–88:50)

1. Hollywood Meeting Stories & Career Crossroads (30:19–31:12)

• Jake remembers inviting Kyle to lunch in Atwater Village, seeking collaboration but having "nothing to offer."
• Discussion on actors reaching out to each other via agents for casual meetings.

2. New Girl, Fame, and Celebrity Culture (46:21–51:27)

• Lamorne reveals he sensed New Girl would be huge due to Zooey Deschanel’s star power and high production values.
• Both guests reminisce about cringey promo photo shoots, including forced smiles and “tickle” photos that became billboards:
  • Quote: "Max was like, Lamorne, just f—ing smile. And he starts to tickle me...and then they used that." (49:21 — Lamorne)

3. Podcasting Habits, Analytics Anxiety, and Creative Process (35:54–37:19)

• Honest talk about obsessing over podcast analytics vs. focusing on the joy of creating:
  • Quote: "The how the machine is built, I find as much fun as making the thing." (36:59 — Jake)
• Lamorne admits he doesn’t re-watch his podcasts: "It bums me out." (36:47)

4. Comedic Influences & Giving Flowers (40:35–41:16)

• Lamorne credits Beck and Kyle’s comedy style as a shaping influence on his work, especially during New Girl:
  • Quote: “I would honestly go, what would Kyle Mooney do?” (40:58 — Lamorne)

5. Vulnerability, Male Friendship, and Saying ‘I Love You’ (42:52–45:44)

• They discuss aging and the increasing comfort with expressing affection among male friends.
  • Quote (Jake): “You guys tell each other you love each other when you hang up the phone?” (42:52)
  • Lamorne: "I've been doing it since my early 20s, maybe even earlier. It's a South Side thing."
  • They contrast black and white culture’s attitudes on vulnerability and emotional expression.

6. Parenthood, Girl Dads, and Home Life (56:45–61:11)

• Real talk about raising daughters, being present as fathers, and the challenge of late-night socializing vs. family responsibilities.
• A running joke about math: how many "girl dads" vs. girls vs. dads are actually present on the pod.

7. Sex, Masculinity, and Podcasting Boundaries (61:11–63:56)

• Playful, tongue-in-cheek exchange about “loving sex,” styles, and whether music affects sexual performance.
  • Lamorne: “It’s an event with me.”
  • Kyle: "We call them styles." (in reference to sexual positions, 61:07)
• Joking about audience engagement: “If you’ve had sex with Lamorne Morris, please comment and subscribe.” (63:41)

8. What Should the Podcast Be About? (67:17–73:01)

• Jake and Lamorne pitch ideas: “aging co-stars who are also friends and interracial,” or more specifically, men’s health and the male body at 40+.
  • Jake: "I think men's bodies... We can talk about exercising, steroids, eating, going to the doctor..." (69:43)
  • Kyle: "The 40-something body, the 40-something man." (70:29)

9. Health, Aging, and Prostate Exams (75:37–90:07)

• Open, detailed discussion about diet (fasting, nutrition, ballooning), exercise routines, and the importance of men’s health checkups, especially around prostate health.
• Lamorne discloses his recent health scare and impending surgery for stomach ulcers, sharing the need for regular checks with humor:
  • Quote: “I had a doctor who unfortunately had the thickest fingers you’ve ever seen... but you should do this more often.” (89:28 — Lamorne)

10. Cultural Technology Change & Aging (80:31–81:40)

• Observations about futuristic changes (self-driving cars, delivery bots) existing alongside unchanged environments.

11. Closing: Male Friendship Affirmation (93:01–93:17)

• Beck and Kyle exchange “I love you” on-air, bookending the earlier discussion about vulnerability:
  • Beck: "You're my brother."
  • Kyle: "Yeah, I love you."
  • Beck: "I love you too. And that's easy. For all the guys out there, try saying 'I love you' to your bros." (93:01–93:17)

---

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On show’s premise:
  “This is the podcast where we don't know what our podcast is and we have guests on. They tell us what our podcast is about.” (03:32 — Beck)

• On giving flowers:
  "What would Kyle Mooney do?" (40:58 — Lamorne)

• On male emotional expression:
  "I've been doing it since my early 20s, maybe even earlier. It's a South Side thing." (44:06–44:10 — Lamorne)

• On New Girl's success:
  "Looking at the amount of money... I went, this is happening." (48:08 — Lamorne)

• On aging:
  “There was a year, like 38, where I was like, 'Oh, I can’t do what I used to do.'... I get injured, and it stays with me." (85:30 — Beck)

• On health checkups:
  "I do want to say that it is very important, men in their 40s, to get your prostate checked. We are dropping like flies, young men, because people don’t get it checked." (88:32 — Lamorne)

• On podcast format:
  "Our podcast is about figuring out what our podcast is, which also means it's about figuring out who we are as podcasters." (34:25 — Kyle)

• Sex talk tangents:
  "If you've had sex with Lamorne Morris, please let us know in the comments." (63:41 — Kyle, joking)

---

Key Segments (Timestamps)

• Show Premise Explanation: 03:32–04:11
• Beck’s Broadway Experience: 13:37–18:26
• Jake & Lamorne Enter: 30:10–31:12
• Photo Shoots & Fame: 48:08–51:27
• Fatherhood Dynamics: 56:45–61:11
• Sex & Vulnerability: 61:11–63:56
• Podcast Purpose Pitch: 67:17–73:01
• Men’s Health & Aging: 75:37–90:07
• Affirmation of Friendship: 93:01–93:17

---

Tone & Language

The episode is marked by loose, improvisational silliness, moments of honest vulnerability, and a blend of observational humor and physical comedy. The guests match Beck and Kyle’s energy, shifting seamlessly between deep sincerity and biting sarcasm.

---

Final Takeaways

• Friendship and aging are at the core of the episode, with real insight on male vulnerability, emotional honesty, and the changing nature of relationships over time.
• Men’s health at 40+ gets a thorough, humorous, but respectful treatment—diet, exercise, medical checkups, and the cultural baggage men carry.
• The perennial uncertainty of the podcast’s true purpose remains, but the hosts and guests decide: if nothing else, the show is about sincere conversation and laughter among friends.
• The episode ends with an authentic exchange of "I love yous," underscoring the value of saying what you mean, even in jest.

---

For First-Time Listeners

This episode is as good as any to get a sense of Beck and Kyle’s chemistry, their blend of absurdity and heart, and the natural flow of conversation with comedian friends. Whether you’re curious about male health, Hollywood careers, or just want to bask in improvised comedy, it delivers both laughs and surprising depth.

Transcript

[A]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[B]

New Year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. So now get two snack wraps, plus fries and a medium soft drink for just $8 for limited time only. Prices and participation may vary.

[A]

Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California.

[B]

And for delivery.

[A]

What's our podcast? What's it gonna be about? Tell us what's our podcast? What should we talk about with Beck and Kyle? Okay, come on, clap it up now.

[C]

Hey.

[A]

Whoa. Clap it up now.

[C]

I knew a boy from New York City say I knew a boy from.

[A]

New York City Came. I know a boy from New York City, say, hey. I came all the way to say hey.

[C]

Where'd you go now, Cotton Eye Joe? Now Where'd you go now, Cotton Eye Joe?

[A]

Um, yes, I remember that from Dances in seventh grade. That was amazing. Sorry.

[D]

Pull this.

[A]

Oh, your finger. Yeah. Okay, let me. Oh, came out the wrong way. We go back to. Oh. Ah.

[C]

Everything's back to normal.

[A]

Okay. Yes. I pulled Kyle's finger and he burped by accident, and he put the air back into his body and it came out the right way through his butthole.

[C]

I am all healthy again.

[A]

Yes, finally.

[C]

Thank you, doctors.

[D]

You saved me.

[A]

The Force. The Force is balance. The Force, awaken. The Force. That's. That's what I say every time. That's what I say every time you fart. The Force awakens inside.

[C]

You didn't say it that time.

[A]

I know. Actually, I. I've never said that before, but I think that would be really funny. When somebody farts, you go, ah, The Force is awoken inside of you. Yeah.

[C]

We cannot start like that.

[A]

Yes, well, we did. We did.

[C]

That is far fucking incredible. Yes, dude.

[A]

Okay, everybody out there, everybody listening, you can take that. Say it to me one more time. Okay, so you.

[C]

So say it to me just one more time.

[A]

Okay, so pretend you just farted.

[C]

Okay. Okay, I'm doing it.

[A]

Obi Wan.

[C]

Okay, I'm pretending.

[A]

Okay. Okay, so you farted, right?

[C]

Yeah, I just pretended.

[A]

Okay. Obi Wan, the Force has awoken inside of you. That sound you just made, it sounded like a certain kind of a horn or like a. There's a specific object that made that sound that you just made.

[C]

A dodo bird, maybe?

[A]

No, not a dodo bird. No, no, not a dodo bird.

[C]

And to clarify, I thought you were supposed to say the Force Awakens after I.

[A]

And what did I say?

[D]

You said, the.

[C]

The Force has awakened Obi Wan or something.

[A]

I don't know that Star wars shit. I don't know that Shit, dude, this is so cool.

[C]

Yeah, I'm like, back with him.

[D]

Back.

[A]

You're back with Beck.

[C]

What did you say? You're mad that I said that?

[A]

No, no, no. I'm just excited. What did you say?

[B]

What did you say?

[D]

I said I'm back with back.

[A]

Yes, you are. I'm back with Kyle. All right. Yes.

[C]

We got a quick recap. We don't have a lot of time.

[D]

Right.

[C]

You never know when our guests are going to get.

[A]

That's right. It's Beck Bennett, Kyle Mooney. This is what's our po. Look at that. I'm going into it this time. Right?

[C]

That was good. You know, and it's, It's. Can I say something that's not interesting? But I'm going to pretend it's interesting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Real quick. I'm just going to say this is the podcast where we don't know what our podcast is and we have guests on. They tell us what our podcast is about. Okay. Now go ahead.

[C]

Okay. Somebody has been doing their effing homework. That was really cool. You introduced the show within the top, I'm going to say four and a half minutes.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

You said our names, what the premise was. And now if we have any new listeners, we. We might, because we have some incredible guestinos today.

[A]

Yes. Italian for guests.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

But so yeah, you got. You got it out there.

[A]

You just like knocked it up.

[C]

Have you been studying? Cuz you.

[A]

I've been. I've been studying what our podcast is. I have been trying to figure it out.

[C]

I've been listening to podcasts.

[A]

Oh, you have other podcasts? Yeah, I don't. I think ever since we've been doing this and we've been having, you know, sometimes watching our own podcast, I haven't been listening to other podcasts as much. It's kind of stopped.

[C]

But I think that I, like I was in 2025, I was listening to a lot of music. In 2026, I was like, I want to change it, especially when I'm at the gym.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So I've been listening to a lot of. I think I texted the thread and this is going to be sort of some sort of inside info for some of our listeners. And our rockos, we have a thread which is amazing. Right.

[A]

What's up, Anya?

[C]

Rochelle?

[A]

And it's so cool. Thanks to me. And like, it's over Twitter, we will.

[C]

Send each other texts. Do you guys remember this?

[A]

Yeah, all the time, Constantly, every day.

[C]

And this is. It's a really cool thread.

[A]

Do they Remember this? Yeah, of course. Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

I was just. For the sake of the conversation.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And we will send each other the text. And I sent this to the thread and I don't know if everybody got it. I don't know if everybody had service that day, probably.

[A]

I would imagine we all had service that day. Okay.

[C]

Okay, great. So there's some.

[A]

So, yeah, it's probably went through now. What is it? Just remind us because.

[C]

So I sent this text about one of the podcasts I was listening to. I was listening to Interview. An interview with the Rizzler.

[A]

Ah, yes, you did message us about the Rizzler, but I don't know if you said that you. Did you say that you were listening to the podcast?

[C]

I actually screen grabbed one of the podcasts I was listening to. I'm very sure.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I thought that was because you thought we didn't know who the Rizzler was.

[C]

Yes, and it was.

[A]

I didn't know that you were listening to the podcast. I thought you were maybe, like, this guy's been on a podcast. So, like, it could be, like, he could be.

[C]

That was my.

[A]

That was your. That was your what?

[C]

I bust.

[A]

Yes, you busted. Turns out we didn't know that you busted.

[C]

I listened to. I listen to the Rizzler. I listen to Big justice and AJ.

[A]

So they have their own podcasts?

[C]

No, they've just been on shows. And I kind of wanted to know more about them because I started listening to. I had heard it a long time ago. My daughter sort of got into the song We Bring the Boom. There are a couple of different versions of it, and it's AJ and Big Justice. Have you seen them?

[A]

No.

[C]

They give booms when they like something.

[D]

They go, boom, boom, boom, boom.

[A]

I gotta check that out.

[C]

And so I was like, I gotta know more about these people. And, yeah, they're really incredibly interesting. And I would love. If you are listening, we'd love to have you on the show.

[A]

Yes, we would love to have you guys on the show. Not all at once, necessarily.

[C]

That could be cool, though.

[A]

We heard back from the Rizzlers team, and he's not in LA this month.

[D]

But he's going to be in town hopefully in March.

[A]

So we're going to try to set it up for March. All right. Oh, Kyle's bus over. The Rizzlers awakened so young. Like, is he not in school? Oh, I didn't know he was young. Sorry about that joke about Kyle busting out the reserve.

[C]

No, I didn't know. I thought I was Farting.

[A]

I thought it was a fart. You were bust. Yes, it was referencing the force.

[C]

I thought, oh, we might need to. We might need to chirp this.

[A]

But I think it's fine. Like, I didn't.

[B]

You didn't.

[A]

Nobody did anything bad. It was just like using.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

He's nine years old, probably. What.

[A]

What an impressive young man. Absolutely.

[C]

He's genuinely funny. He's very funny.

[A]

I mean, I've just. I see people talk about him and I gotta. I gotta know more about him. I really do. I'm behind the ball. Behind the ball. I do think behind the ball, under the ball. You see that? You see that stuff? You ever see that stuff on Instagram about the.

[B]

The.

[A]

The stunt spectacular, Indiana Jones going wrong and the guy getting smushed by the ball?

[C]

It seemed. I didn't do too much investigation into it, but it looked as if the actor portraying Indiana Jones, sort of. The ball went off the track. The actor blocked it from rolling into the audience.

[A]

Yes, there was that one, and then there's another one where it looks like he gets smushed and then somebody runs in like, hey, you okay? You okay? But I don't know if that's AI or not, but I saw the one where the guy, like, tried to block it and he got knocked over and it prevented it from going into the office.

[C]

You gotta figure out this ball situation.

[A]

I think they're. It's done. I think the ball is done. Which is sad. You know what, What. What it should be is inflatable. It goes off track. Or if it's about to run over the Indiana Jones actor, somebody's ready with a dart gun. Pop that thing. Yes, pop that thing. It's about to. Then they, you know, they have a code word like monkey bones. And then like. And there's somebody there with the silly code word.

[C]

But I'm still with you.

[A]

Well, yeah, but it's kind of like Indiana Jones, you know, eat monkey bones. But anyway, that would be okay. But anyway, yeah, that would be.

[C]

These. These are. This is like, why. And back. I tell you this all the time. I've texted on the thread. I believe I'll be like, beck, you have all these ideas. You're like. You're always coming up. Well, it's like, solutions, Solutions, Solutions, Solutions. With that.

[A]

I wasn't sure what you said at.

[C]

First, and I was like, that could be its own sort of. That could, like. I feel like you could pitch that around town. Like, solutions with back.

[A]

Solutions with Beck. Solutions.

[C]

Don't make fun of the way I talk.

[A]

I'm just trying to understand you.

[C]

It's just that you. I feel like you're always, like, problem solving. You're coming up with solutions, and I think that it's. I think it'd be something really cool because, like, I can think of, like, oh, what would Beck do in this situation where he.

[A]

Where like.

[C]

Let's say. Let's say you ever go to the. You ever go to a fast food place and you. You get a medium drink, and I'm not. I don't think I brought this up on that thread. You go to. You go to a fast food place, you get a drink, and, like, you. You go to the vending. The soda vending machine, and it's like. It's, like, too watery. Or like the water is mixed with the iced tea or, like. Or like, it's like a. It's, like, clear.

[A]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[C]

Yeah, well, it's just something that's like.

[A]

The water tab or something.

[C]

Sometimes I feel like. Or sometimes you hit the water tab and it's, like, got a little yellow in it because it's, like, with the lemonade.

[A]

That's. That's never happened to me. That's never happened to me. Yeah, so that's.

[B]

You should.

[A]

You should look into that. I think. I think you need. I think you have a new 20, 26 resolution. I think it's a look into the yellow water that you've been drinking, Kyle. But I think we do have to put a pin in that.

[D]

I think.

[C]

Okay. Are our guests here? No.

[A]

Yeah, we still got plenty to talk about before they get here.

[C]

No, don't. Now she's sneaking away. She's scaring me. What's happening? It's all. Okay.

[A]

Okay. We'll wait for you.

[C]

Jumping the door. The door is.

[A]

Ah.

[D]

No.

[A]

They're gonna hear us.

[D]

Ah.

[C]

She let the demons in.

[A]

They take it over me.

[C]

I'm Tyler.

[A]

I'm. I'm Bucky. Oh, no.

[C]

I'm taking your podcast and I'm recording your soul.

[A]

That bitch shouldn't have opened the door. Of course that's not Beck saying that. That's Bucky.

[C]

You took it too far.

[A]

What? But that's the Exorcist. That's the Exorcist.

[B]

Like, remember?

[A]

She's like, why you took it too far because I called Anya a bitch as Bucky. You don't like that? You think that's. That scares you? And are you. Are you actually okay? Are you still possessed by Kyler?

[C]

I'm having fun.

[D]

Bro.

[A]

Bro. Kyle, you all right, dog?

[C]

For the. For listeners.

[A]

Okay. He was. I was starting to get worried. I was like. I was like, my. I was like, maybe he actually is possessed by a little demon ghost that came in here.

[C]

I was. Bounced down a big ball, sort of.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Could you imagine?

[D]

You ever.

[C]

You know those exercise balls, do you have any of those in your house? It's big.

[A]

Oh, yeah. It's deflated right now.

[C]

Oh, we got. We got one that I think my wife got when she was pregnant.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Popping around on that. Mm. Try to shake the baby out those things.

[C]

Sometimes I like to ride around it. But could you imagine a really big ball?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Well, they have the ones with the handle for the kids to jump around.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You should get one of those, homie. You should go around town on that, Kyle. Just bouncing down the street. Be like, yeah. Kind of driving. Makes me nervous. Going down the middle of the street with your little ball.

[C]

Like, on my way down to Irvine, like, I'm bouncing.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

People are swerving around you, and then you have a random celebrity sighting.

[A]

Oh, yeah. When you're on the ball.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. You see Brad Pitt.

[C]

Yeah. A little random celebrity.

[A]

Yeah. All of a sudden. All of a sudden, you look down, you're like, where are my pants? And where. Why am I naked?

[C]

I'm now meeting Brad Pitt on my bouncy ball. Sick of random celebrity thing.

[A]

And he's like, yeah. And then you're like. Then you go to get a soda, and it's like, what's this yellow water?

[C]

I was talking. I swear I was talking about this.

[A]

Yeah, I think you were. I think I remember you texting about it on the thread.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

I have been vindicated. Okay, so, Beck, let's get into it. You're coming back from New York City.

[A]

You were on Broadway.

[C]

How was it? Can you give us the quick? Yeah, what's the quick?

[A]

It was so fun. I was in All Out Simon Rich's show on Broadway. I was with Cecily Strong and Wayne Brady and Jim Gaffigan and Mike Birbiglia. And it was just so fun. We got to read Simon's short stories. And this band, Lawrence, these siblings, Clyde and Gracie Lawrence and their incredible band played songs from their last record that were all thematically tied into the show somehow. It was like. It was, like, a nice pairing, and.

[C]

But they weren't. It wasn't planned that way.

[A]

It wasn't written for the show. It's like they're. They're fam. They're siblings. And there's like, songs about, like, the family business and like. I don't know, like, I. I don't. That was me. That was me making fun of myself for, like, not knowing all those songs and everything. Exactly. But I do love their music and it's about, like, all that stuff.

[D]

That's cool.

[A]

It fits in perfectly with all the stories and stuff. But it was very fun being on stage with this band and with these great actors and reading Simon stories. I had like two days of rehearsal, so it was very. It was kind of like. It was. It was just like. It kind of felt like a fun performance vacation because I didn't need to memorize lines. It wasn't like a crafted character or dramatic performance or a big, exhausting comedic performance that I had to rehearse for weeks and then perform for months. It was like reading these stories that you could inhabit in whatever ways you want and just have fun with it. And then you were done. And it was like an hour and a half show. And it was just. We all had so much fun together. It was really fun being back with Cecily. And, you know, the stories are.

[C]

The stories are not related or they are related.

[A]

Well, they're all. They all revolve around the theme of success, ambition.

[C]

But they have, like, different characters.

[A]

Yes. Yes. All different characters. And yeah, it was.

[C]

Sorry I didn't make it out, man.

[A]

But hey, yeah, it's okay. Everybody was asking, like, Kyle not come. I was like, no, I don't think he could make it. They're like, even just for one night, like, he used to live here and everything, like, he was your cast, man. I was like, I know, but, like. And it's all good. And so I was kind of like, sad the whole time I was there, but.

[C]

No, I'm sorry about that.

[A]

Yeah. I'm getting. No, I would never expect you.

[C]

I. I wish I. I mean, like, I. Maybe I told you. Well, it's just been.

[D]

It's.

[C]

It still feels like we're just getting out of the winter break. I don't know how you feel.

[A]

I feel so much better now than I did, like, basically Thanksgiving up until a week ago. Because I've just been so busy.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And like, getting like, now. I kind of feel I'm like starting the new year.

[C]

We were starting. I. I felt that. But then my daughter has been sick.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And so it's like we had. There was a holiday and then two days of sick day. It's like, haven't been able to do anything. That I would typically do because I've been.

[A]

Yes, our kids are in the same class and I think Ruby had the same thing. He's okay now. He's back at school. But I.

[C]

How many days off did he take?

[A]

I think it was like, you know, Monday they had off, but he would have stayed home anyway, I think. But it was like Friday through Monday he was sick and Jesse was alone with him. So it's a lot. But Broadway was great.

[B]

And.

[A]

Yeah, it was just so, so fun and easy to do. Everybody was wonderful and I had a blast. And I'm riding that energy right into you. That sounded weird.

[C]

That sounded really. That sounded X or X, triple X rated. Like, I'm trying to think of, like, what that would be like.

[A]

Like. Like I'm like, I'm riding the Broadway.

[C]

Well, it seems like you're like, butt fucking me.

[D]

No.

[A]

Well, I'm entering you through your. Through your anus. But I'm not like, going in and out and having sex with you. I'm like my. I'm entering through you and, like, filling you with my energy.

[C]

That's better.

[A]

Yeah, that's a lot better, dude. Kind of like. Kind of like the way that little Kyler and Bucky came in and inhabited.

[C]

I didn't like Bucky.

[A]

I think you really don't like the word. Right?

[C]

And I. I've said.

[A]

Sometimes it makes.

[C]

Me uncomfortable, but I've said it before, like, in character. Absolutely.

[A]

So did Bucky scare you or did you just didn't like his.

[C]

It was fine. I'm like, no, but, like.

[A]

No, but what? No, I like, I didn't like Bucky. I mean, he's like a demon who possessed me. Like, and he just showed a side.

[C]

Of you that I haven't seen.

[A]

No, that's not me. That was Bucky. And Anya just walked back into the room, so.

[C]

I'm not going to tell her.

[A]

What's that? What'd you say?

[C]

I haven't said anything.

[A]

Tell her. Should I tell her?

[C]

No, we're not. No, there's no.

[A]

She'll watch the episode. She'll see. When you left earlier and you opened the door, you let some demons in, and so they possessed me and Kyle and it was Kyler and Bucky and it wasn't us. And Bucky said some stuff that was not necessarily nice, but it wasn't me. It'll look like me. Sure, but it's a different voice.

[C]

Yeah, I love definitely about you. Okay, cool. It was pretty mean.

[A]

Cool. And it made Kyle a little uncomfortable, but it Wasn't me. Bucky Buggy's gone now. Okay. And that's my fault for leaving to kind of greet our guest. We didn't get. We had no idea. We.

[B]

How are.

[A]

How are we doing when you open the door like that? Right, right.

[C]

I thought we were just doing, like, fun characters, but it seemed like the Bucky character actually had, like, a lot of issues with you.

[A]

No, Bucky just did a classic, like, possessed thing and used. And was mean.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like from the Exorcist. I think Bucky was a fan of the Exorcist or something and used some of that.

[C]

Anya, if you need somebody to talk to or anything like that, if you want to hit me up off the thread, you can.

[A]

What are you saying to her right now? Nothing.

[C]

Congrats on the Broadway stuff.

[A]

Oh, thank you. Yeah, it was really fun. Wait, okay. Just quick check in.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Are both of our guests here? Yes. So we're ready to rock. Okay. These guys we have. We recently had two guys on that were kind of a duo Hollywood handbook guys. And that was.

[C]

And that's. You know, what I actually have. I might bring it up when these guys come in, but there's an intersection of these two guys and those two guys and myself and.

[A]

But not me.

[D]

Correct.

[C]

Well, more of one of those guys than one of those guys in me.

[A]

Okay. I think we should talk about it. These guys. These guys are fantastic. They're. They both have podcasts with head gum. Both are with head gum. So they're podcasts. But they don't have podcasts together. But they've been on a big TV show together, so they're kind of a duo. It's Jake Johnson and Lamorne Morris, and I know them both separately. I think they're awesome guys. I can't wait to have just, like, a goof around, see what happens. You know what I mean?

[C]

I guess I'll be along for the ride.

[A]

All right, let's check it out.

[C]

This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.

[A]

Spanky. Spanky.

[C]

Okay. I really like that.

[A]

I just kind of threw in the Spanky.

[C]

Awesome.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and do really well doing stuff online.

[A]

If you want to navigate the Internet. Yeah. You best be having a website. I have. I have.

[C]

I got to say, I've effed around with Squarespace. It is effing amazing.

[A]

I love to f around with.

[C]

I wish I could wish that we added another podcast because, you know, we made a. What's our Podcast. Website With Squarespace.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

We had another podcast and another podcast so that we can make more websites. I would love to be in.

[A]

We could make.

[C]

In the industry of making websites, and I'd love to use Squarespace for it.

[A]

I would love to, too. We could make websites for every single podcast that we've created on this show.

[C]

We.

[A]

Time to get to work.

[C]

And, you know, you're a great chef.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

You can make a website for one.

[A]

Of your new concoctions like ground turkey.

[C]

Groundturkey.com that might exist, but that would be a good website.

[A]

Yeah. Groundturkey.com and you can upload your pictures.

[C]

Of your ground turkey.

[A]

I would love to.

[C]

And you could have, like, a forum where people could talk about, like, their ground turkey experience.

[A]

I think a lot of people use ground turkey in their cooking, and I think it would be really relatable.

[C]

It's all. I think it's also sort of cool because, like, it's one of the things I'm into, and it's alternative to ground beef.

[A]

It's like, oh, it's not chicken. It's like.

[C]

I think it's. I think you actually have something there.

[D]

Thank you.

[C]

Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid. Oh, I see that phrase. I'm like.

[A]

I'm like, okay.

[C]

Am I really interested now?

[A]

Yeah, you're salivating. One place, look. So you guys, like, it's just, like. It's just been so fun making our website. And, like, you can add photos, dude. You can add videos. Like, we did that with Finn.

[C]

I would want to add a photo of somebody looking inside of themselves and realizing that they're good enough and that what they do is actually a gift to the world.

[A]

That can be a website right there. Look. Check out Squarespace gift to the world.com giftoftheworld.com and. And there's a guy there.

[C]

Yes, yes, I can see the guy now. And he's sort of a handsome man, but not in a way that's unapproachable.

[A]

Yeah. And put it.

[D]

Don't.

[A]

Don't stop in it. Put it. Put a pin in it and put it on the website. Check out squarespace.com beckandkyle for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code beckandkyle to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[C]

And make sure to have fun today, even though bad days are plenty hour ahead.

[D]

Yeah. Oh, no.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

Oh, no.

[C]

I'M stuck. I'm stuck. I'm like stuck inside of this weird thing.

[D]

No.

[A]

Do you have life insurance?

[C]

No.

[A]

Well then you're in big trouble.

[C]

Tell me more.

[A]

Well, if you had life insurance then, and you were stuck inside of this big thing. Is that what you said?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Then you'd be fine. Like if you. If you passed away and you have like stuff and like, like a house or like money that you're. I don't know, there's like people. People that are depending on you.

[C]

This is where I live.

[A]

Inside.

[D]

I don't know how I got here.

[A]

Okay, well then, honestly, I got to. I'm going to send you away. Goodbye, Kyle.

[C]

That. First of all, that was actually not me. That was Goro.

[A]

Yeah, that was Goro.

[B]

But he.

[C]

He's stuck in a thing.

[A]

He's a guy who doesn't get life insurance cuz he doesn't have anybody depending on him. He doesn't have any friends or relationships or anything. Any. Any stuff.

[C]

What it seems like what he needs is fabric by Gerber Life. I got life insurance. I got to say, it makes me feel good because it means like, hey.

[A]

You'Re gonna live forever.

[C]

If there's. If something goes down is.

[A]

If anything goes down, it's. You're protected and your loved ones are taken care of. Yes, yes.

[C]

And I do.

[A]

We have families, so it's important to have life insurance so that if anything does happen, you know, your loved ones will be taken care of.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I knock on wood. I don't ever pass away.

[A]

Yes, yes, me neither. I don't need to knock on wood. I'm just gonna take supplements that I never die. Yeah, I have to take my supplements. So what you really need is fabric by Gerber Life.

[C]

Fabric by Gerber Life is term life insurance you can get done today. Made for busy parents like you. All online on your schedule, right from your couch, you could be covered in under 10 minutes with no health exam required.

[A]

Oh, that's amazing. Nobody coming into your house to check all your body parts and see if they're working. I hate it when they do that.

[C]

That seems like something that Gorleo probably has to deal with. Oh no, I do remember.

[A]

I do remember Gorleo coming into my house and being like, let me check.

[C]

Every part of you.

[A]

I was like, okay, is this like. But life doesn't do that.

[C]

If you got kids, and especially if you're young and healthy, the time to lock in low rates is right now.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Fabric has flexible.

[A]

Oh yeah. I was going to Say the same thing.

[C]

High quality policies that fit your family and your budget. Like a million dollars in coverage for less than a dollar a day.

[A]

That's noise.

[C]

That's awesome.

[A]

Yeah. Fabric has partnered with Gerber Life, trusted by millions of families like yours over 50 years. There's no risk. There's a 30 day money back guarantee and you can cancel at any time. They have over 1900 five star reviews on Trust pilot with a rating of excellent. And that is to get a rating.

[C]

Like that in trustpilot. Honestly, to get a rating like that.

[A]

I've been trying to get a rating like that on trustpilot for my entire life.

[C]

I only know of one other thing that has a rating like that on trustpilot. What is it, Gorleo? I'm stuck in the.

[A]

Oh my God.

[C]

That bit.

[A]

That bit has a rating.

[C]

Has a rating.

[A]

All right.

[C]

So join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to help protect their family. Apply today in just [e-mail] beckandkyle that's meatfabric.com beg and Kyle and M E T fabric.com beckand Kyle.

[A]

Policies issued by Western Southern Life Insurance Company not available in certain states. Prices subject to underwriting and health questions. Yeah, but not inspections. By Goro.

[C]

Today's episode is brought to you by Alma.

[A]

Yes. A year from today, who do you want to be? Kyle or the listeners? What version of yourself?

[C]

Hercules. Hercules?

[A]

Yes. I wanted you to be Hercules too.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

From the movie, from the club family. Does that version that you're going to meet the. The Hercules from the Hercules clump, you going to be less anxious or are you going to feel more like yourself?

[C]

I'll probably be pretty anxious because all of a sudden I'm a clump.

[A]

I hear you, brother.

[C]

Hercules. Hercules.

[A]

I don't know what Hercules is going through.

[C]

Ask me the question again. Ask me the question again.

[A]

A year from today, who do you want to be?

[C]

I want to be confident. I want to be happy with who I am and the people I surround myself with.

[A]

That's great. So that's the version of yourself you'd like to meet. You want to feel less anxious, right? Yeah. You want to feel more like yourself.

[C]

I get very anxious.

[A]

What if that thing you've been secretly worried about just took up less space in your mind?

[C]

I would love that. There's so much stuff I worry about that I'm so obsessive about. And if I could sort of just spend less time focusing on that so that I could be in the present and you know, I'm thinking about these things that I'm so that. Like, I feel like this is an emergency or something like that, but it's like, I don't think it actually is. Do you know what I mean?

[A]

Okay. I know. I feel you. The less. The less thought you give something, the less space it takes up in your mind. The right therapist can help you with that, Kyle. Okay.

[C]

I believe that I've had some good.

[A]

I'll help you find that therapist. I've had some. I've had one really good one, but Alma has a directory of 20,000 therapists with different specialties. Like. Like. And life experiences and identities. And 99% of them take insurance. Did you know that?

[C]

I didn't. I actually know the other 1%. And they are. They're nice people, too.

[A]

Yeah, they're really good. They're doing their. They're doing their best, but look, you.

[C]

They don't want to take the insurance, but they're still nice people.

[A]

They do things a little differently. You deserve to feel like that future version of yourself, Kyle. A year from today isn't that far away.

[C]

It started now it's a whole new year and another. We're already talking about another year.

[A]

I know, just. But at the end. We're talking about at the end of 2026. So still within this year, but, like December 31st. Yeah. You can be a whole. You can be that version of yourself that you want. I. I promise you. No, you got to get started right now@hello, alma.com, our podcast. That's hello, alma.com./o, u, r, P O, D, C a, S, T. I really.

[C]

Might go on Alma right after this and. And try to figure some of this stuff out.

[A]

I really think you should. I think it'd be good for the podcast and our relationship. I really would like for you to just.

[C]

Can I. Can I insert one more thing?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Hercules. Hercules.

[A]

Oh, man. That's the real Kyle. I want to help you get there. What? It's these guys.

[C]

This I can't believe. I mean, to have either one of you would be incredible, but to have you together, this is sort of. It is there. It is a sort of a wa. Moment.

[B]

It is.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Do you remember, Kyle, when I asked you for a date in Atwater Village?

[C]

I definitely do. Where did we go?

[A]

Some Vietnamese place in Atwater Village. I remember.

[C]

I remember talking about producing.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

I courted you.

[B]

Did you get you after. What are you talking about?

[D]

To deal with. I'm giving a man a complimentative No, I think I've seen your videos. Thought you were so funny. And then I reached out to UTA and I was like, could you get me in touch with Count? And then we got back and I was like, would you like to get lunch? And I realized I had nothing to offer. And I did the general meeting, but I didn't have anything.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And I was like, this is wild. I didn't do any more of those after that.

[A]

That's. I've heard about people doing that.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And like, that's like a big. That's a bold move.

[D]

You know what?

[B]

I'm sorry to get back on this. This.

[A]

This path.

[B]

I've heard that from, like, athletes who are trying to get out. Actresses. They'll call their agents. This has happened to Hannah so many times. Apparently.

[D]

I know who it else had happened with. Hannah with who was on our show. Who? Prince.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Dude, I gotta say, I love his music.

[A]

Oh, that's right. Yeah. I think he's an incredible musician.

[C]

He's not around anymore.

[A]

Yeah, well, I mean, I still think he is.

[B]

You think he's around. Oh, an incredible.

[A]

Yeah, but. But, you know, somebody told me that they're gonna start releasing music from his vault. His family is going to start releasing some of his music this year.

[C]

I think they have. I think you can get like.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

You don't like that?

[D]

I don't like that.

[B]

They did that with Tupac, and it just caused all kinds of conspiracy theories.

[D]

It's bad news.

[A]

I think it's gonna be better than the original stuff. All the stuff that he kept hidden away that he didn't.

[D]

Some nerd in the family uses computers to go. You know what he might have wanted to end this with.

[A]

It is kind of like. It's almost kind of like being like, if you're a writer and you have, like, a bunch of journals or something, a bunch of writing that you never released, and your family's like, let's put it out there.

[C]

Yeah, out there.

[A]

Dead. Let's just, like, release it.

[D]

Jake's writing folder.

[A]

We could probably make some money off of this. He didn't want anybody to see it.

[D]

Because it was really bad or you didn't work.

[C]

It's like you're an old radio DJ and.

[A]

Yeah, Wait, no, no. Yeah. Okay.

[B]

So.

[A]

Yeah, okay, so you're an older.

[C]

And they start.

[A]

And they.

[C]

And. And they see your old list of songs, and they start playing the songs that you.

[B]

Not.

[A]

But not your music, but songs of other artists.

[C]

I don't know. Something like that could be interesting.

[D]

I don't know if that's as clean as the comp. As the other ones.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know.

[D]

We're in a group because those guys did play all the songs.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Just another idea.

[D]

Yeah, but what I think was we were all cooking with something. Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

And yours was more like. Because that DJ played most of those tracks, Right?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Just something to think about.

[A]

Yeah, it is.

[D]

I don't think there's anything to think about. All right, well, I think it's time to edit out, if you want. I don't know if you guys do that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, we do that. Is that what you do when you want something to be edited out?

[C]

We don't need to keep the radio.

[A]

Right through a thought.

[D]

I'm just going.

[A]

When your guest is talking, just. Yeah, yeah, no, that's really interesting.

[C]

Can we stop for one second? Can we stop for one second? Can we stop for one second? Can you not.

[D]

I'm.

[C]

Someone is sorry about the radio DJ thing. No, man, it's cool.

[A]

It's cool. Like.

[C]

No, no, no, cuz you're right, cuz like now I'm hearing what Jake said, what you said. It's like, why did I even say that?

[A]

Well, here's the thing. So we. I mean, we're.

[D]

No, no, no.

[C]

It didn't even make any sense.

[D]

It didn't. It didn't work. But it was cool that you said it was.

[A]

I think it's so brave of you to say stuff like that. And you're often like, like, oh, I'll say it.

[C]

Sometimes I won't say anything because I get. But I was like, oh, the radio DJ could be a good idea.

[A]

No, I think it's a safe space. If you have any other radio DJ stuff like that.

[D]

Are we locking this in as a. Like a. Is this. We could say anything like what he said, or is it. Should we have a little bit more curated.

[A]

Oh, I want to do it.

[D]

It's your show.

[C]

No, we definitely have any questions we want to ask you, but like, if you're.

[D]

I'm asking, like, should we be pitching stuff like the DJ thing, or should we think about that stuff first before we say stuff like that?

[A]

Oh, for what our podcast should be about.

[D]

No, like, any question conversationally, I think, like, should we self edit?

[C]

No, no, no.

[D]

Or just.

[C]

No, that's on you. I think that's an individual choice.

[D]

But I mean, for you.

[C]

For me, I think it's. It's sort of. It's moment to moment. If, like I feel like. And that's, you know, our podcast is about figuring out what our podcast is, which also means it's about figuring out kind of who we are as podcasters. Right?

[A]

We're still figuring it out. You guys are pros.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no.

[A]

Come on. How. How long have you guys been podcasting?

[B]

Yeah, I got two bottom level podcasts.

[A]

Bottom right. You're right there with.

[D]

You keep creating a lot of new podcasts.

[B]

I like, they're not bottom level. They're actually pretty good. But I just keep creating new ones. I get an idea and I think as opposed to adding that, making that a segment, I'll think let's just do a whole new podcast.

[C]

So how many podcasts have you done in total? You have to.

[B]

I have two. I think I've had, I've had, over the, over the years, maybe like six podcasts.

[D]

Have you had six?

[B]

Yeah, I did one. I did a quick like with Baron Davis. I did one. I did one with like LeBron's company. I had a couple sports podcasts.

[D]

What did you do with Baron Davis?

[B]

We had one. We had one where we were just talking shit about sports and entertainment in, like Hollywood. It was, it didn't go anywhere. No one heard it.

[A]

But you, but you love making podcasts. You love podcasts.

[B]

I just love sitting down, chatting with people and sometimes some gems come from it. And that's. And that's. And that's it.

[A]

That's. That's. That's what I love doing too. Love. It's like we get to hang out with so many people. Some fun clips.

[B]

Kind of do it all.

[A]

For the clips, you know, I get two good clips. I'm like, great.

[D]

You think you love the clips.

[C]

Can I, can I be honest about it?

[A]

I love the clips.

[C]

Well, I think you, you're. You're. I feel like going through something. I don't know if you.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know, Lamorn.

[C]

I feel, I don't know how online you guys are.

[B]

We're dialed in.

[D]

Yeah, I get on the Internet for sure.

[C]

But, like, I feel like I've experienced this and I feel like I now see you experiencing this. You're. Now look, you're looking at the numbers. You're looking at, like, how many views you're getting on. I'm seeing how we're, how this clip compares to that clip.

[A]

The analytics, checking out the analytics on gumball. I'm going on Apple, podcasting out the top charts, being like, all right, this.

[D]

Week was, why are numbers doing this?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Why did this. Do this and that didn't do that.

[A]

Yeah, I def. Yeah, I've definitely checked in.

[D]

Me too.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

There's no way I'm a psycho about it.

[C]

And what is your, like, relation? Do you think it's healthy or unhealthy or. Neither. Do you think it's like, oh, this is part. I want to know the inner workings of it.

[D]

I need to know the inner working.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I like that this guy's pumping the under.

[C]

I like it because it. Because to. For me, it bums me out.

[B]

Me too.

[D]

Oh, for real?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, so you don't. You don't watch?

[B]

No, it bums me out. I don't even rewatch the podcast that I do.

[A]

That really bums me out.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I've been doing that, and it was like.

[D]

It was. I stopped doing that.

[A]

It's tough.

[D]

That's not fun.

[A]

No, no, no.

[D]

Yeah. But the. An. The how the machine is built, I find as much fun as making the thing.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I.

[D]

Fun, fun, exciting. Wow.

[B]

So you should be a producer of podcasts. Well, I am mine, but others. If that's. If it's.

[D]

No, I don't love the art form of podcasting that much, but I do like making it all.

[A]

You like building it and making it, like, more even a movie or.

[D]

I like the whole part of putting it all together. Forming the thing, Building the thing, seeing how the thing does, trying to sell the thing, see what the audience thought of the thing, and then being like, that's over and what?

[C]

Sorry. And is there a moment.

[D]

You don't like hair and makeup? Yes.

[A]

Yes. Being on camera. In a.

[D]

Being on camera. Sometimes I don't like being on set.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Sometimes the. I don't like the. I don't like that somebody else always makes the schedule. And I don't like when I don't get to pick where I do the work.

[B]

You can't.

[A]

You like the feeling. You like the feeling of running the show and being like this looks like.

[D]

Or at least being with the people who I also think you trust. Yeah. We're all trying to make this thing work together. If it's all people I like, then I like most of it. I don't like when it's somebody who. I don't like them making decisions. And I go, how, all of a sudden I'm fucking working for you?

[A]

What happened?

[D]

I don't like that. I know. I don't like that to the point of it's not worth doing certain things.

[B]

Is that why You've never wanted to do any of my projects.

[D]

I think I've been on all your projects. I've been on all of them besides Baron Davis. And you kept him from me so I wouldn't go to Clippers games, too.

[B]

That's fair.

[D]

This dude negotiated a deal. Can I talk about the seats you.

[B]

Got that I didn't get?

[D]

Oh, I thought you got.

[B]

Tell the story and then I'll tell you the final conclusion.

[D]

He was doing a commercial campaign.

[A]

The bank.

[D]

Fucking guy negotiated courtside seats in his deal. I didn't know you could do that.

[B]

Oh, that's still there.

[D]

I didn't know you could do that.

[A]

That is sick.

[D]

I didn't know you could even ask that.

[B]

I thought you were talking about something else. I thought you were talking about my deal with the Clippers. They screwed me.

[C]

You're gonna play on the team?

[B]

I was gonna. Yeah. Honestly, Kawhi never plays, so they didn't slow down.

[D]

You just raced to the bench with injury.

[A]

But you get in the reports 100% on the roster.

[B]

DNP. I'm a motivator in the. In the locker room.

[D]

If you got on a professional team.

[A]

But you always had an injury, you just giving the. The pregame talks. Yeah, go get them, guys. Just, like, never yell on the side.

[C]

We got a little, like. Okay, you got maybe like, turntables and like, one of those old school, like, radio mics.

[A]

Like a DJ or something. Something like a radio dj, but that.

[D]

Wouldn'T be a player.

[C]

Then what are you playing, the jock jams?

[D]

Yeah, but I think that'd be fun. But I don't think that's what we were cooking.

[B]

Because you can't get on the roster.

[D]

Because we were saying you're on the roster. That's more of like, a DJ who works in the DJ booth. Who. Then DJs the locker room.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

The thing we were all talking about, like, he was an injured. Like. Like Kawhi Leonard. He was saying he's always injured.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Be hurt.

[C]

That is funny. All right.

[A]

Missed it again. But thank you for, like, chiming in and trying to add. That's funny.

[D]

Wait, we were building.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Wait, can we. Can we have, like, a. Sorry. And I am derailing. I apologize.

[A]

No, no, we love to derail, so. But I feel like we.

[D]

Do you get mad at him for derailing?

[A]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Do you guys ever fight?

[A]

Do we ever fight?

[D]

Guys fight.

[A]

Like. Like wrestle? Yeah.

[B]

No, like.

[A]

Like, we need to make a decision. Yeah, we'll wrestle. See who wins.

[B]

I just Feel like you guys, I just know. I just. For some reason, because I've been a fan of both of you for. For a very, very long time.

[A]

Likewise. Both. Having both you guys here, it's like, that's what we want to get through.

[C]

I feel like you're gonna say something that's maybe nice or maybe not, but I feel like we've not gotten to give you y' all flowers yet, but please go ahead, Lamar.

[B]

You guys, I think when I say your comedy has. And this is a real thing. I'm not doing a bit. Has informed a lot of how I would deliver comedy sometimes. Even on the New Girl days, Really, I swear to God, it was like they would write a bit. They'd write a bit. That's so weird. And there are moments where I can't tackle it. And I honestly would go, what would Kyle Mooney do?

[C]

Oh, that's very sweet.

[B]

And they'd write it in such a weird way, and they would go, well, it's Winston. He could.

[A]

It's like he does a weird thing here.

[D]

He's different now.

[A]

He's different. I'd be like.

[B]

And I would think back to the day I met you, which is a LG commercial that we did with Shawn Clements. It was Iron man, and Sean was in it.

[A]

I. We talk about this. I auditioned. I was in the callback for that commercial with Sean, and I said fartsmoan instead of smartphone. And he, like, he played with it and made the whole room laugh. And then he got it. I didn't get it.

[D]

Did you do it as a bit or did you get.

[A]

I was like, I don't know. Does somebody have a fart Simone? I mean, didn't get it. They're like.

[C]

But then he was like, wait, a fart Simone?

[A]

I don't think that would help. I mean, we can try that.

[C]

Execs were like, holy.

[A]

That guy's dumb. That guy.

[C]

I'm curious about New Girl, and I'm sure you guys have talked about it so much, so I apologize. And if anything is. Feels like you've overdone it, but how.

[A]

Much did you guys get paid on that? How much did you make?

[D]

We made some scribble.

[A]

Oh, Chad, we were pre.

[C]

Let me ask the question, man.

[A]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Does get mad at me. We don't fight, but he gets mad at me for cutting him off. That's fair.

[C]

No, I don't.

[D]

We guys wrestle.

[C]

We probably have wrestled.

[A]

We probably have wrestled, but not anymore.

[C]

We have maybe been mad at Each other in our lives.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We've known each other for. Since 2003. So however long that is. Live together 22 years.

[A]

Yeah, live together, but late.

[C]

But, like, I guess midway through our friendship.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But I think we probably do things that annoy each other. But, like, I think that we're actually in sort of a golden era.

[A]

I think so, too. This is our golden era. You don't have the stress of snl, and we've kind of gone through that now.

[D]

We're like, I got a question about men getting older.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

You guys tell each other you love each other when you hang up the phone. Sometimes.

[A]

I don't think so, but I think this.

[C]

I think start.

[A]

That's good. Does it start?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You guys both.

[B]

I think.

[C]

I think they do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[C]

I think it's been texted. I think that we'll get, like. I think you'll get. Love you, brother.

[A]

Like, Yeah.

[D]

I think that enters the next mid-40s, early-40s. Yeah.

[A]

But it's not everybody.

[C]

No, it's the ones you actually love.

[D]

And it's the. Okay, you go, like, you have moments where you're like, I do love Lamorne.

[C]

Right?

[D]

Weird.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Then you're like, it's kind of weird. It is weird because you go, well, you're not my family. You're a man who I've worked with. Then you go, I've just spent so much time with you. And then you go, I love you.

[B]

I don't say it, like, with a question mark at all. I'm very sure.

[D]

No, but that's how it starts. I'm talking about my response. My response is like, that's intimate. And then you go, it is intimate. And then I go, I do love you.

[A]

And you're getting comfortable with intimacy and vulnerability. That's amazing.

[D]

Can I ask something?

[A]

Seems comfortable.

[D]

He's way more comfortable.

[B]

I'm very comfortable with it. I just.

[A]

That's why he's got those pockets. He wants to talk to people.

[C]

Jake is saying, this is like a 40 something, ish thing. Do you think you, like, you've always been comfortable with it.

[B]

I've been doing it since 20s, early 20s, maybe even.

[D]

Really?

[B]

You said it's like a. That's like a. This is a South side thing, Chicago thing. When you see. Because it stems from not knowing if you're gonna see your boy again.

[D]

Then you did the voice too, which is so annoying.

[B]

Love you, my nigga. Can't say that. I can say it, but you dap it up. Love you.

[A]

My brother.

[B]

And you always say that because tomorrow's not promised.

[D]

And what was the suburb again?

[B]

No, it started in the south side.

[D]

I know, but then you moved to the suburbs.

[B]

Yeah, I moved there, but it was outside.

[A]

Glenn.

[B]

It was very aggressive.

[A]

Glenn. Glen Ellen. Glenn.

[B]

Ellen is when I went to high school. Yeah.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[D]

And were you saying it to all those guys?

[B]

I couldn't.

[D]

Or you. Stop.

[B]

I had to get to know him.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I gotta get out of AP calculus. I love you, man.

[A]

Why are you saying I love you? You know, we're going to see each other tomorrow. Nothing's going to go wrong.

[D]

We will be here through our 70s. Unless there's a genetic disease.

[B]

Can I tell you the weird thing I did find about that is that there is a certain, like, in. In black culture, we always, like, love you, my. Like, love you, my brother. Love you, my brother. But you. But if you make any remark that sounds like that sounds a little crazy, we go pause.

[D]

Like, hold on, hold on.

[B]

It's like, wait. So on one hand, we holding Pa other accountable for the weirdest shit, but we will tell another grown man, I love you. When I moved to the burbs, all the white kids that didn't fly with the white, like, you couldn't say that. Like, I don't know you, Morris.

[A]

Why would you.

[B]

But then they would tell me. They would tell me stories about like, how. How. How they masturbate, right? Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, totally.

[B]

I jerk off.

[A]

And one time I was jerking off so hard, dude, it like, hit the ceiling.

[D]

Wait, so that's normal?

[A]

That's normal. Saying I love you is not normal.

[C]

I definitely experienced that. I'm from San Diego, but like, I feel like in high school there is. There's some sort of. Maybe it's ubiquitous, but this emotional wall of like, I'm not supposed to like that thing. You know what I mean? But yes, we have totally. Like, I jacked off this way, like the weirdest. I have my own specific style.

[A]

I found this thing that feels amazing.

[C]

You gotta try this.

[A]

You have microwave this thing and just like let it sit for 20 seconds.

[C]

And then if you're able to. If you're able to close the microwave door on your erect penis. But I did want to ask Secrets.

[A]

So many great secrets.

[C]

Maybe a cliche question in doing New Girl, because I feel like my main question is, did you know that you had something special from moment one? Did you know it would have the lasting power? It did. Because I think that there's this thing as actors, this is maybe a Little niche for some of our listeners. But, like, you get on a set of a new TV show and, like, typically, everybody's optimistic. Like, yeah. You know, next season.

[D]

This is good writing.

[C]

And then it doesn't.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

That dream thing, that scenario that actually, like, actually feels like fact is not fact at all, and the show sort of just disappears. Did you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That when you were working together, like, this is something special that I could see going for a minute.

[B]

I personally felt it before I even got on the show. Because at the time, you gotta think Zoe was like, a huge.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Movie star. And it was like, she's doing a TV show.

[D]

Yeah. And by the way, at that time, it was weirder.

[A]

Yeah. Now it's streaming.

[D]

It was like, zoe's gonna be at Fox.

[B]

Yeah. It was so wild that I was like, oh, for sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And Jay Kasdan was doing the pilot.

[A]

Yeah. Right, right.

[D]

He had done. What were the tv. He did what was not network. Who remembers that great indie he did about television? Am I the only one who saw it? I did not know he made an indie about a independent TV show that goes to network. Who he wanted to cast versus who the network wanted to cast. It's fucking awesome.

[C]

Oh, fun.

[D]

It's so fun.

[A]

Oh, cool.

[B]

Yeah. So it was a great group, you know, before I got. Before I even was cast on the show. So I knew going into it. And then I just remember again, I had never been a part of something like this. The photo shoot. I got cast, and then two days later, we had our big photo shoot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And just looking at the amount of money that they put into this, I.

[A]

Went, this is happening.

[B]

What is this?

[C]

Do you remember any of those looks you gave that day?

[B]

Yeah, I didn't like to smile. And this is when I realized. And shout out to all those. The people in marketing back then or the. The photographer's background.

[D]

Joe Early.

[B]

Joe Early. Loved Joe Early.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

I didn't love his vision at the time. He always wanted me to smile.

[A]

He didn't.

[B]

But they wanted me to smile, and I hated smiling. And I just remember one photo shoot in particular where. Cause Jake got to frown a lot and look cool. Max already looks like Tom Cruise. So I was like, this is. And then here I am.

[D]

Max looks like Tom Cruise.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We even have a crazy easy comp.

[B]

He's got a.

[D]

That's not accurate. That's actually racist.

[B]

That's not racist. He looks like Tom Cruise.

[D]

He does not look like Tom Cruise.

[B]

Tom Cruise. White guy. Max Reefer. White guy.

[D]

I Think he's got to look like Tom Cruise.

[A]

No, no, we don't look like Tom Cruise. Max looks like he's got some Tom Cruise energy at the very least.

[B]

We even talk about it on this show.

[A]

He's got the symmetrical, classic look.

[D]

I think he's a handsome guy.

[B]

And he runs like him with his hands like this big T2. But no, I just. I remember not wanting to smile. And then Max was like, lamorin, just fucking smile. And I was like, I don't want to smile. And then he starts to tickle me.

[A]

Me.

[B]

And I go like this.

[A]

And that's what they use.

[B]

Cut to billboard on.

[A]

They always use the dumbest shit once. Once in a. We. We did this every year for snl. We took the cast photo. One year we did it, where, by the way, SNL was an incredible, awesome, legendary show. Oh, Lorne, Michael. It's so cool. But we did. We did this one year on, like, a White Void. And, like, and it's just like this long photo shoot. And they're like, try something different. Try that. And I. I do this thing here. I'll stand up. I was like, maybe one of these. And, like, made every, like, stupid. And then it's like the photo outside of 30 Rock and I'm doing the little thing, like. And I was like, what the f. I was, no. Can you replace that?

[D]

No way was that me.

[A]

I was like, can you please? Can we not do that? And they're like, sure. And then they replaced me with, like, sort of a standard image, but I'm smaller. I was. I was like. Because they could isolate all of us. And then everybody's like, why is Beck so small? I was like, okay, so this is what I get for asking for something different. I'm going to be punished.

[D]

One season did that to me. They made me, like, a full AI version.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Everybody else. I was doing something bad in the photo.

[B]

And your face was off.

[D]

It was. Everybody else was them in the kitchen, but I was not the real me. And they didn't say anything to me. They just presented.

[A]

I look weird. It's unsettling. Are gonna see that and be like.

[D]

Yeah, it's not me.

[C]

And did you. How did you feel about the tickle smile? Did you not like it?

[B]

I hated it. Yeah, it was a really bad image for me. And I overly. I hate photos, though. I do hate, like, red carpets. And I just. I don't know how to, you know, do the thing with your face and stuff so that those photo shoots are always anxiety ridden. But Them choosing a photo for sure, that I would hate. And then making a 40 foot, you know, billboard. And they're everywhere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then we would go to these fan events. Like you could sign autographs and these people would have that photo.

[C]

Right, right.

[B]

And I'd purposely sign over my face.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, till this day, I still hate them for that.

[A]

No, I really should hate Max for that.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I hate Max for that.

[A]

Violating your body.

[B]

That's one of them.

[A]

And making you go all smiley like him.

[B]

Because that was a deep tickle. Yeah, it was in me.

[C]

That is cute.

[A]

Just met.

[D]

Well, that.

[C]

That was always great hanging out with you guys.

[A]

Yeah, well, no, we're not done yet. It is, it is. It is Rocking transition. It is not easy.

[D]

And I know this is a guy who does podcast, too.

[C]

We got two Trevians here, though.

[B]

Yeah, we do.

[C]

Nobody said anything about it.

[D]

My brother wants to get Lanyat back and he really wants us part of it. I was just talking to him on a car right here.

[A]

I would love to be a part of it. Lanya fuck is a Trevi. We went to the Travian is the mascot of our high school.

[D]

That we're a bar together.

[A]

Yeah, we bond big time.

[D]

We know each other for real.

[A]

We hung out two bars.

[D]

Two bars with my brother and I.

[B]

That's so funny. I never get the invites to bar hangouts.

[A]

It was in New York, so it was kind of a maximum pleasure guaranteed kind of thing.

[B]

You don't think New York.

[A]

Yeah, Jason shows.

[D]

He gets it.

[B]

Bus terminals. I could get there. I don't like this.

[A]

Okay, well, next time we're hanging out in New York, just sort of impromptu day of. We'll call you and see if you can fly in and make it there and we'll see what your commitment is.

[D]

He's a real social cat. He might.

[A]

Yeah, I could see that.

[B]

Get on a plane and hang out.

[A]

And then you got a great story for like a late night show or something like that.

[B]

You know, I just hopped on a.

[A]

Podcast when the three of us. I have nothing going on in my life. So we did this thing where Jake and Beck told me they were going to be hanging out. And I flew to New York that day. And they couldn't believe I was.

[C]

That you're also playing quarter.

[D]

Something weird. Singing karaoke while doing that.

[B]

I've invited Jake out for. For drink, dinner, lunch, whatever. Throughout the course of us knowing each other.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Birthday parties.

[D]

I don't go out in LA maybe a hundred times.

[B]

The family's here maybe 100 times. You know what I mean? The only time Jake has intentionally come out is when someone else invited him.

[D]

To come out to celebrate you.

[A]

Yeah, but he wanted to celebrate you.

[D]

There was like, they wanted to do a surprise. He won the Emmy thing. So I came, and Lamorne walked up to me and goes, why are you here?

[A]

You never come out.

[D]

And I was like, to celebrate you. And he was like. But at this point, I was like, I didn't want to be here either, man.

[B]

Like, I didn't curate this. I don't know what to expect tonight.

[D]

Exactly.

[A]

That Emmy, the coveted comedy guy getting the drama acting award. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Yeah, Jake did that. I feel like. I feel like there's such a mystique built around that, Like. Oh, you know, like, getting. Getting recognized for dramatic work. When you've done comedy, you've done a lot of incredible dramatic work as well. But, like, is that. When you get that award for that, is there anything that's like, oh, I don't even know what the question is, but, like, do you go like, oh, that does what I wanted it to do, or is it kind of just like, oh, yeah, just another thing.

[B]

I was honestly shifting. There was a couple things going through my mind. A little disappointment because I've been in the comedy business for a while, and I was like, what the fuck?

[A]

Yeah, what y' all say?

[D]

I've done some funny shit.

[B]

I've done some really funny stuff, you know, But. But, you know, it's done. It's done. It did a little bit for my ego. That's about it.

[D]

A little bit. He carried it around with him everywhere he went. This is not a joke.

[A]

Damn.

[D]

Every time I'd see him, he would put it down right in front of me.

[A]

That is a good move, I think.

[D]

But so much that, like, the first few were really funny, and then you're like, it's like jewelry. But it's a heavy Emmy.

[A]

That's what happens when a funny person wins a dramatic actor. Check that everywhere.

[D]

I'm shocked, honestly. Not as a bit. I'm shocked he didn't put it.

[A]

That would have been fun.

[C]

Where is it currently?

[B]

It's in my office. It's in my office. I use it now from, like, if I'm on a pitch meeting or something, and I can see that the pitch is not going well.

[A]

I'll just.

[B]

I'll just grab it and move it to the other side.

[A]

Just, you know, remember.

[D]

So the character you're playing, is it likable? I don't know. Give me one quick second. Character. I think the character will work.

[A]

That's.

[B]

That's pretty much how I use it now.

[A]

That's cool. Now, do you guys. Just because like you guys were obviously on the New Girl together. You guys are still good friends. Do you guys get asked a lot or ever? Like, would you guys ever do anything again? Like a show, a movie? Like working together?

[D]

Me and him together?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Oh, we always just. He just did. He did the Alaska movie with me with Joe.

[A]

Oh, he did. Okay, cool. Great.

[D]

We're doing. He's putting a movie together. I'm gonna be in.

[A]

Cool.

[C]

Yeah, I saw that. That's going to south by Southwest. Congratulations.

[B]

Thanks, man.

[A]

Congrats.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You're gonna be there. Hopefully.

[C]

I don't think. I don't think so.

[B]

Are you gonna get me. You're gonna have them invite me because I'm a part of the cast?

[D]

No, because my brother and I find this and I'm not flying your ass out.

[B]

You know, you're gonna.

[D]

You want that?

[A]

You gotta fly out. You gotta show you want to be this. Maybe I'll go.

[D]

Put me up. Where, Jake?

[B]

It's in Austin. You know I run Austin.

[A]

Oh yeah?

[D]

You got a property.

[A]

We gotta know more about the whole.

[C]

Like Lamorne running Austin thing, huh?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You run Austin, dude, I run the town.

[C]

That's cool.

[B]

Yeah, they know me in Austin.

[D]

He almost moved to Austin.

[B]

Almost moved.

[A]

I love Austin. I had my bachelor party there.

[B]

My daughter was born there. I lived there for a little bit. Oh, wow.

[D]

We actually do hang out. We hike. Yeah, yeah, we exaggerate to this. That we never do. I don't go out at night, but.

[A]

I like to do that.

[C]

That makes sense.

[D]

I like to hike during the day.

[A]

But you know, why don't you like to go out at night?

[D]

I got kids. I want to be home for it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I need to be 12 year old girls.

[C]

Two 12 year old girls. And you have a daughter.

[B]

Five year old.

[D]

Five year old.

[B]

But she goes out at night with me.

[A]

Yeah, she goes out with you. What was it?

[C]

I have a two and a half year old daughter. Ah, you're in it.

[D]

Very nice.

[A]

I got a four year old. But like was it. Was it when they were going to bed at 8 o'? Clock?

[C]

Girl dads, by the way.

[B]

Yeah. Oh yeah.

[C]

How often does this happen?

[A]

Sorry to interrupt you. No, no, it's okay.

[C]

I don't think this has ever happened before.

[A]

What? We're. We're four girl dads.

[D]

Well, he's Got a boy.

[A]

I got a boy.

[B]

But it's four girls.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was like, it's four girls, though.

[A]

Wow. Dude, that's going different.

[D]

This goes back to the other stuff, too.

[A]

We don't know each other.

[D]

Yeah, but what we were cooking, Kyle, was something different. We were cooking that.

[C]

I actually. I actually. I feel genuinely bad about this because.

[A]

My son's name is Ruben. We call him Ruby. So he's like, ruby's a girl or something.

[C]

I don't know. I actually don't know what. I know. I know Ruby very well. I don't know what happened there.

[A]

No, yeah, no, it's. You've been kind of off today, and it's just kind of like the DJ stuff.

[D]

The dj.

[A]

I think it's probably because he's intimidated.

[D]

What was the first one? The first one was the worst one, though.

[C]

Yeah, the first one was the worst.

[D]

Not that the DJ was the second.

[A]

It was like, what. Remember, like, imagine like a DJ dies and, like, his family reaction. Release his playlist.

[D]

It was.

[B]

It was.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

It wasn't. It.

[C]

It was all right.

[A]

Yeah. No, it was not good. All right.

[D]

No, I don't think. But I'll tell you what's the. No, the worst one is one of the oldest friends you got. True. You guys are connected.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Everybody loves you guys together. And then to say we got four girl dads here when he only has a son.

[A]

Only have a son. He's not a girl dad.

[D]

He's a boy dad.

[C]

Have never been around, but he does.

[D]

Oh, you.

[B]

He said four girls because you have one.

[C]

There are four in total.

[B]

And I've got one.

[D]

Well, there's four daughters.

[B]

That's what he meant to be.

[D]

But there's three girls, four dads.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Look at us getting all mathy.

[A]

Math.

[D]

Who cares, right?

[B]

But are you guys present fathers?

[A]

Yes. Oh, yeah.

[D]

Why did you miss that?

[B]

Well, because this is Hollywood. Some of you guys aren't around at all.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's true. I've got a. Yeah, no, I'm around.

[D]

I got something to actually tell you. I know you're a good dad, and I'll tell you why. Because Jesse and I became buds and I heard about the kind of life you guys got. Yeah, you guys got a sweet thing cooking.

[A]

We got a good, good thing going on.

[D]

You got, like. You and the wife are buds in a fun way where you'll, like, hang out at night.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

And she's like, after the kid goes to bed, like. And I'm like, you guys got a Great little thing coming.

[A]

Yeah, we do.

[C]

This is too vague. What is that?

[A]

Jesse will describe the.

[B]

That they go in separate rooms now.

[C]

We kind of have like a little.

[A]

Single.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Because you don't want to hang out with someone. You. Because you'll go, shut up.

[B]

That's why I'm single.

[A]

We kind of have. It's like a sleepover. She described today.

[D]

She goes, I have a sleepover with my friend every. And I was like, I guess I do too. And then she described. I'm like, oh, you guys have like a sleepover?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

A little bit of weed.

[A]

A little bit of weed. We'll get some popcorn, watch some reality TV show, play some rummy cube by the pod.

[B]

You do all of that after bedtime.

[A]

It's usually one or the other. One or the other. It's like if we have energy and we want to use our. Our brains.

[D]

But it'll be a straight up, like, the kids are asleep. My wife and I will go like, see? Yeah.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

They're like, okay, good. Now let's have a full on two hour official hang.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Where I'm like, that's great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Sweet.

[D]

Sweet. It's sweet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just to be. To be honest with you, that's what.

[A]

You would expect it to be.

[B]

Yeah. I thought it would be like, okay, the kids are in bed now. Let's.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

Let's get primal.

[D]

It's so clear to me. You didn't have.

[B]

I didn't have it.

[D]

You didn't have one, bro.

[B]

I didn't have a dad growing.

[D]

Because that's fantasy stuff.

[B]

What?

[D]

Just like the way you talk about. Get prime.

[A]

Get primal. Not primal. No. Get comfortable in sweatpants with each other. I think our wives are gonna listen to this and be like, yeah, it's primal time.

[D]

See, that's another. That's sweet that your wife's gonna listen to this.

[A]

She might. So she'll listen. She'll definitely listen.

[D]

There's no way my wife is listening at the beginning.

[A]

Did she listen to your podcast? Like, yeah, it's good. Keep going.

[D]

Maybe one or two.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. She was like, what is this?

[A]

Well, I'm glad we.

[C]

Amazing. You like sex?

[A]

Yeah. Kyle loves sex.

[C]

Ooh.

[A]

When.

[C]

The minute you started talking about it, Lamorn, I was like, damn.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It felt. It was classic.

[D]

What do you like about it?

[C]

I think. Yeah, no, that's the different styles.

[B]

Different.

[A]

Different positions and stuff.

[C]

We call them styles.

[D]

So while you're in the act, if you want to switch, you go, want to change our Style. That's cool.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what else do I like about it? The holes? The.

[D]

Difference or just all the holes?

[A]

There are three main holes. Yeah.

[D]

Oh, I mean, there's.

[C]

Who knows The.

[A]

And we can. We'll just sit here first.

[C]

Give me one second. I promise. I love it.

[D]

It's honestly cool if you don't love it. By the way, there's also. I don't think there's. I think there's a thing in our culture that every man has to be like, I'm a red blood American man. I love sex. Oh, gross.

[A]

No, no, no.

[C]

I like it sticky.

[D]

No. Stinky.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

What's so great about it?

[A]

No, it's not that great.

[C]

It's not.

[A]

But Kyle. Kyle loves. For everybody joining us right now, Kyle's talking about why he loves sex sucks.

[C]

I think it killed that transition. If you skip to this part of the show.

[D]

In the little notes, this is where all the view art 19. You're gonna.

[A]

Wait, he does this every show.

[D]

He does.

[A]

I just wanna talk about why I love sex again. Because it's just like, I love just being, like, in the bed.

[D]

And how are you? How would you be considered a lover?

[B]

You know, honestly, it's a variety show with me.

[D]

Me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Paint us a picture.

[B]

100%. I've done that. Okay, let's say I let the music move me.

[C]

That's cool.

[B]

Like, I switch up my style based on the playlist.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

I like to marry.

[D]

What kind of music do you like to have sex to?

[B]

Well, it depends. It depends on who I'm having sex with.

[A]

Let me, let me answer that question for everybody. D'. Angelo.

[C]

You're having sex with.

[A]

No, to listen. D'.

[C]

Angelo.

[A]

It's sexy.

[C]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[B]

Here's the problem, though, with having sex with, like, d'. Angelo. Yeah. When she's in it and you guys are going at it, you're going at it. It's not you that's moving her, it's d'.

[A]

Angelo. Yeah, I do.

[D]

You do? Yeah, I don't care. As long as she's being moved.

[B]

Yeah, that's that. I guess that's fair. But then that's also. That's very. That's cuck mentality.

[A]

She's treating me like d'. Angelo. Yes, please. Yes.

[B]

You let d' Angelo get you off, girl. While I sit here and watch, knowing it has nothing to do with me. Medium dick. But yeah, she, like, you know what I mean? Like, I, I. It's a, it's an event with me. Yeah, it's a whole event.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Would anybody agree with that?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I don't think.

[B]

I don't think we should go down that path.

[A]

Yeah. Let me.

[C]

Listeners, if you've had sex with Lamorne Morris, please let us come and subscribe.

[A]

Her name and the description of the sex that you had.

[D]

Comment below.

[B]

Yay.

[D]

If you have.

[A]

Nay, if you haven't. Yeah.

[B]

It's an event.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

It is.

[C]

It is. We've re. We have.

[A]

I could hang out here for another hour.

[C]

I know. And, like, I feel like we didn't even get to hit all the Chicago stuff. We got the Chicago guys.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

We are, too. Oh, and we're gonna get. Oh, you don't get. Just to be on record.

[B]

I'm from Chicago. Chicago.

[A]

We.

[B]

Oh, I'm from South side, Chicago. South side of Chicago. 101st in Eggleston. You are from Skokie, north side, north side. We.

[A]

North side, south side.

[D]

Yes. Agree.

[A]

Absolutely. But I will say on the record, New Trier went to New Trier. Lanyap was this variety music show that was awesome. We were both in.

[D]

And my brother Dan Johnson's fighting to.

[A]

Bring it back because he got rid of it for some reason. Maybe somebody got offended.

[D]

He's just a man of passion.

[A]

But this is a clip to everybody at New Trier from me and Jake.

[D]

We're talking. I love what you're doing.

[A]

Bring back Lanya. You are doing all your students a great misfortune by cutting this out. It's the only thing like it at any school anybody I've ever talked to in the arts.

[D]

But now I want to talk to the kids.

[A]

Yeah. Say something to the kids.

[D]

The only way it comes back is if you guys want it back, because you guys got to write the show, you got to act in it. You got to do all the stuff. What probably happened was the administration's like, we're doing it because the kids are now doing podcasts and YouTube clips.

[A]

Get away from the podcast.

[D]

Do a show.

[A]

Yeah, Do a show.

[D]

Was that for you? And this is a real question, because you went from that's a sketch show to snl, which is the peak.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Was there anything in doing Lagniap that you thought at the Gaffney Theater?

[A]

Yeah, I can do this 1200 person.

[D]

Yes. A big theater.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. It was. I mean, it was huge for me. Yeah. Yeah. And then it, like, I was doing, like, improv classes, but then doing that, doing sketch with my friends, I was like, that was like the biggest high same I've ever had. And Then I auditioned for the improv sketch group with Kyle at usc.

[D]

But I bet you wouldn't have done that without Lanyat.

[A]

No. No, I don't think so.

[D]

Because same with me, all my. My buddies who I grew up with, we ended up doing a sketch show. Traveled with it. Ucb.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

We never would have done that without Lon. Yet we all did that show together and we're like, this is so fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. This is what we want to do.

[A]

Yeah. It was the best thing that school by far has going on. It's a great school, though. But bring it back. Okay.

[C]

Can I say that I. I love the sound of this. I am fully in support and, like, let's bring it back. I don't know that you can. You're allowed to, like, say, like, when something is pulled as a clip.

[D]

Pull that as a clip.

[A]

Pull that as a clip.

[C]

You said, like, let's. This is a clip.

[A]

Oh, I shouldn't say that anymore.

[D]

This is the clip.

[A]

Maybe this is the clip. You're telling me saying I can't pull.

[D]

It as the clip. That is a clip.

[C]

I think that would be a really, really funny clip.

[A]

That's the clip, dude. That's the clip. But we could talk about clips all day. But we should really talk about what.

[B]

Wait, wait, what's. What's New Trier?

[A]

New Trier is our high school that we went to.

[C]

Yeah. What high school you went to?

[B]

Multiple high schools.

[D]

What was it where? On the south side?

[A]

Yeah, that's. Whatever.

[D]

Everybody who didn't go to Chicago.

[A]

Everybody who didn't go to New Trier says New Trier.

[B]

That's north side. See, Glenbrook south is near New trier, probably.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

GBS, Glenn Bard South, Glen Bard.

[D]

Where on the 108 and whatever that street was. That's where Glenbard south is.

[B]

Dude. I'm from 101st in Eggleston, dude.

[C]

What do you think our podcast should be about?

[A]

Okay, we gotta get into that part we had discussed.

[D]

But what we had discussed feels for me personally, but I'm happy to lose this vote. Less fun. The thing that we had talked about in the car was aging co stars who are also friends, who are interracial.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[D]

And then.

[C]

So we can almost relate, but close.

[D]

But then what your differences would be. Okay, then the one I was interested in before, because I also know I've been interested in lifting weights. I know Gareth is. I mean, I called you Gareth Lamorna is. And I know you're a man who throws up. I was thinking very specific to men's Health. But, man, the sex stuff for me. And what is who we are as sex creatures, who these women are as sex creatures.

[C]

We don't need a brink.

[A]

We don't need to talk about who they are. As hell.

[D]

Are we all just sex creatures? What would we. Lamorne, as a. You know, I've always heard about his sexual prowess through him, of course.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

He talks about that side of it a lot.

[A]

Right.

[D]

But I'm interested. Lamorne, what do you think?

[B]

What do I think about what the podcast should be? Honestly, I did love the interracial part of the podcast. I think you guys could really tap into that. But I think for me, the sex stuff is great. I would dig it, because I do want to know more about what you guys do sexually.

[D]

You know, I'm really curious about what your Google searches for pornography.

[C]

Oh, God.

[A]

Oh, that's. Come on. Those are kids. They're like, no, it's not disgusting, but, like, I don't want to give up my secrets.

[D]

Please, Beck. I'm dying to know. What are the secrets?

[A]

Red bikini.

[C]

Red bikini on the beach.

[A]

Cause then you never know what you're gonna get. You never know what's gonna happen.

[D]

Red bikini on the beach. Hello.

[C]

But not a human being inside of it.

[A]

Just.

[D]

It's the fabric.

[A]

Is this. Somebody lost their bikini. What does she look like without that thing?

[C]

Cause I'm thinking about what happened off camera.

[D]

Somebody was changing the back.

[A]

The imagination's going crazy. But then the. The kids got out of there, I guess. Well, we do have to go do another podcast, and we can make it short, but I feel like men's health.

[D]

Men's sexual health.

[A]

Sexual health. And any. Any.

[D]

Men's health.

[A]

Men's bodies. Men's health. Men's bodies.

[B]

You know what, you guys?

[D]

Men's bodies and how it relates to women.

[A]

Male bodies.

[B]

I like that idea.

[A]

I mean, I do think we've covered a lot of sex stuff already.

[D]

Agreed.

[A]

So that was really fun.

[D]

But there's more to be had.

[A]

There's more to be had. I think that men's bodies is part of that. But we can also talk about exercising, steroids, eating.

[D]

Agreed.

[A]

Going to the bathroom, going to the doctor.

[D]

Fascinating. For women.

[A]

I think that would be. I feel like the. The rewatch thing. We actually did just do a rewatch.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Episode. So I'm thinking. I do think men's bodies.

[C]

Can I.

[A]

But yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I've got this. I'm sort of trying to hone in, specify a bit. Maybe that's actually broadening. Maybe this is broadening. But I think we're all within a decade of each other. Right? The 40 something body.

[A]

I love this.

[C]

The 40 something male.

[D]

40 something male.

[C]

The 40 something man.

[D]

How about this 40 year old man.

[C]

Fuck, I'm in my 40s.

[A]

Or like, fuck, my 40s. Fucking my way through my 40s, man.

[C]

Man. Man, I'm in my 40s.

[A]

Men's men were men.

[C]

I'm in my 40s.

[B]

But then in parentheses, put W O in front. So whoa. Man. I'm in my 40s.

[D]

Oh, that's fucking deep. That's slam poetry.

[C]

And that's because we're like Green mill.

[D]

Which is in Chicago.

[C]

We're taking into consideration the.

[B]

Because how our bodies affect women.

[D]

Because that goes back to the steroids. That goes back to the sex.

[A]

Maybe we'll bring that up. I'll be interested in how you have sex. Actually, we do have to move on to the next pod.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Because. Because we have another pod.

[C]

We're. The. The podcast is coming up and you're gonna. We're about. You're gonna see what the title is in a moment.

[A]

I think it's gonna be one man. I'm in my 40s.

[C]

Okay. It's a one man.

[A]

We'll see. I mean, we'll see what?

[D]

Whoa.

[A]

Yo, what's up man?

[B]

Yeah. Whoa.

[A]

Man. We're back.

[C]

Dude. I am not.

[A]

Awesome episode. I bet.

[C]

I. I feel like I've not seen you in a minute. Yes. You've been. You've been out about. You've been out about the town.

[A]

Yeah, I have been out about the town. I was in New York City.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Living it up.

[C]

I remember that place.

[A]

Yes, you do. We.

[C]

What was the old. The subway I was just thinking about.

[A]

Oh, yeah. The old subway's still there. It's still underground.

[C]

What a great. And like, if you guys haven't heard about this easy way to get around in New York City. You don't even need to have a car. It's really, really special. You just have to look up. Go ahead and search Subway New York. You should be able to find it.

[A]

Yes. Yeah. And you can. Yeah, that's. Yeah. But I actually have nothing to add to the subway stuff. But thank you for letting everybody know about the subway stuff.

[C]

Absolutely.

[A]

Man. I think we should. But we're here.

[C]

We're here to talk about what makes us who we are.

[A]

Yes. And what puts hair on our chest and whatnot.

[C]

Hey.

[D]

Huh?

[C]

Mommy. I gruesome. But I hope I'm not gruesome.

[A]

So. Yeah. But we're here to talk about all that stuff. So let's just. We have incredible guests today. Let's. How do we do this? Do we play this?

[C]

Here's what we do.

[A]

We say, welcome back to, you know.

[C]

Hey, here I am just walking around. But, whoa, man.

[A]

I'm in my 40s. Woman. Am I in my 40s?

[C]

Woman.

[A]

In our 40s. That's right. Woman. Woman.

[C]

We should get like a Tim the Tool Man Taylor.

[A]

Yes, we should. At the end of that for this one. Because this is Wool Manum in my.

[C]

It's similar to the sound that they made during the Cookie Crisp commercials. Did they do.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Which is also like, sort of like.

[A]

Yes. That's great, Kyle. So let's talk about our guests about it. We have Lamorne Morris and the Incredible Jake Johnson.

[C]

The.

[D]

He forgot my name for a second. He had a brain fart. I know this guy. What's happening?

[A]

I was like, it happens to me sometimes. It happens to me where I'm like, what if I say the name wrong? Yeah.

[D]

I write it down.

[A]

What if I was like, John Johnson or something?

[D]

You did the great thing you did, Lamore Morgan. We made eye contact and you went like this.

[C]

The incredible.

[D]

But it was a. You made.

[A]

Smartphones always happen.

[D]

He landed the plane and David Rummel and I just. Just. I just actually hung with Krumholtz.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did that break the minds of people around you?

[D]

He's. He's coming on. He did the podcast. I love the guy.

[B]

No, he's great.

[A]

Is he in his 40s?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

He would be perfect for this.

[A]

I would love to hear about Crumholtz's body.

[D]

He's. We're exactly the same age. I think he might be a little bit, but very.

[A]

You're saying he looks like he's in his 50s?

[B]

No, I'm saying he's been. He's just been.

[A]

He's been around for so long.

[B]

So long.

[A]

No, I agree. I agree. He's been part of the fabric for.

[D]

He and I look very similar. And it's really weird talking to him because we also think a lot similar and we talk and everything. He would say when he was pitching things on this thing, and not even as a bit. I'd be like, that's a really good idea. Gareth would talk and I'd be like, that's pretty good. And Crumble's good. I got something. And my instincts would be like, I think he's going to be right here.

[A]

That's me. He's incredible.

[D]

I like what that guy's doing.

[A]

Yes. Well, we're here to talk about guys. We're guys. We're here to talk about our. Everything that encompasses our lives as far as it pertains to women too, that can be brought up if or not.

[C]

The perfect distillation of what our show is.

[A]

Yeah, that's what our show is all about, guys. Let's ask you guys what we always ask our guests. How are your bodies feeling? You're in your 40s. Let's take a litmus test. You feeling good? Are you feeling like you need to address something?

[B]

I feel pretty good. So I'll start my body. It's moving. It's moving. You know what I mean? It's clicking on all cylinders. Yeah. I've been really testing the. From toe to head. I've been testing it all out and it still works. It's still. It's optimal, I would say.

[A]

Fantastic.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I want to get sincere with you guys.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I think it's. I haven't eaten since yesterday at 6pm I'm getting into fasting.

[A]

Oh, I've heard about this.

[D]

I like it a lot for men in their 40s. And I lifted weights this morning. And I've been, I've been going five days a week.

[C]

What's your fasting period?

[D]

I will. It changes. I did the other day 24 hours and then I did last year three day water fast. I'm trying to do one day a week where I don't eat anything.

[B]

I know you're really good with money. Is this a money thing?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And does it allow.

[A]

How does that have so much?

[D]

It's killing my account.

[C]

The rest of your week. Are you then like cheating? Do you have a cheat days the rest of the week or like other days?

[D]

You know, I, I eat like a guy who's a balloon where I go up and down.

[A]

Yeah. So you like to fill it up and see it.

[D]

We talked about that.

[C]

Yeah, we balloon.

[A]

Yeah, we like. I used to balloon more.

[D]

Me too.

[A]

I used to really balloon.

[D]

Really Makes you believe.

[A]

My God, the amount that I could eat just like all night and not.

[D]

Feel weird about it.

[C]

So what is. Can I ask?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

This, this week you'll. You'll fast.

[D]

I'm either going to eat today after this, we're gonna go do my podcast. So either I'm gonna feel crashing and eat something or I'm not gonna eat until tonight. So I did 24 hours and I'm building back up to try to do another three day water fast.

[C]

And what are you. What will you be eating in between fasting.

[D]

Like when I eat.

[A]

Yeah, like, like when you're eating.

[D]

I'm not over strict about it. I probably should be, but I'm gonna try to eat stuff from around the house.

[A]

Okay. So for me, that, I think that that feels like the opposite of what I try to do, which is just eat pretty healthy portion controls. But like vegetables, protein, grains.

[D]

Do you take care of the body in your 40s?

[A]

I'm trying to. I mean, but then there's plenty of times I don't, but.

[D]

And then if I'm allowed to graze, why would I ever stop grazing? I'm a cow with grass.

[A]

Oh, I graze, I graze.

[D]

I'm a cow with grass, baby.

[A]

Pretzel crisps, peanut butter pretzel.

[D]

I'll eat anything.

[A]

Did you have a question?

[C]

I did, I did have a question, but now I got other. But when I wonder when a person listens to our podcast or when they listen to. We're all actors, right. We're within this industry where we're conscious of how we look.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Right. Is that fair to say?

[A]

Oh, yeah, big time.

[C]

Do you think we sound to a degree, like pretty wild when we're like, oh, we're fasting, we're doing these. I mean, how typical do you think that is for people outside of what we do?

[B]

It's pretty.

[D]

But I'm not doing it for looks. I'm doing it for longevity in terms of men in their 40s.

[C]

So it's not, it's not for like.

[D]

Not to lose weight.

[C]

It's not to like, I want to be spelt for a role or I.

[A]

Think it's a energy stuff.

[D]

Well, and it's also. This is I, from what I've been reading in my, you know, fake Internet Dr. Search, but I'm into the research. It's cancer preventing. So you're. If you don't eat for long enough, your body eats all the old damaged cells and it eats the stuff that could turn into sickness. And I do not want to get sickness because I'm a real baby with sickness.

[B]

You got to keep your body in an alkaline state.

[D]

Yes. So that's the reason I'm doing. I'm like, I'm starting at this age, start thinking about 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s. And I'm like, man, I used to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day.

[B]

But the damage he's done, the damage he's done earlier on will cost him later on still.

[D]

I'm trying to fight.

[A]

But here's the thing. I do we. I Was talking about this recently. Apparently this is the time your 40s.

[D]

This is reversible.

[A]

It's more important than what we do to our bodies in our youth.

[D]

Is that true?

[A]

40S, 50s, 60s will set up the third part of your life now more importantly than anything you do.

[C]

God forbid. I mean I don't know if there's any real wood.

[B]

Yeah, right here. It's manufactured wood maybe. But it's still a combination of different obviously.

[C]

Like. Oh man. I guess one of my questions actually sort of cryptic and dark in a way that maybe we don't want to go down this path. But you want to avoid being unhealthy when you're older. You want to avoid sickness, obviously. Do you all have a desire to live long, long lives?

[B]

Yes. I want to be108.

[D]

Is that true?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow, that's interesting because I'm obsessed with the future and what things will look like compared to what they looked like.

[C]

When I was a kid. Yes.

[B]

I love technology. I love to see advancements in different things in medical field. And I'm just so curious to see what we'll come up with and what we'll say back in the day was a lie.

[C]

You know.

[A]

You know what's.

[C]

So this is going a little. This is on topic with that. A little off topic about our show generally. But it's like, you know, I saw the. I always get the waymo all the different. There's the self driving car and then there's the little guy who delivers soda.

[D]

Robot that has a name.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

They get like he lives.

[C]

I think he's same O.

[D]

But they also put a name on the screen. They'll be like Jerry.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[A]

I've never seen that. It is really like both of those.

[C]

Things are like incredibly futuristic.

[D]

Right.

[C]

A self driving car and a little kind of snack service that delivers to your home or however it works. But it's so fun. I was just driving around and I saw one of those little guys and it's like what's crazy is. Yeah, that would have made sense whatever 30 years ago. Yeah. There'll be cars that drive themselves. But you didn't expect it to the universe around us to pretty much look the same as it does as 1996. You know what I'm saying? So it's like this weird fucked up future where it's like parts of it are like incredibly futuristic and then like.

[D]

Exactly.

[C]

I know, it's like McDonald's like does has not change.

[B]

Right.

[C]

But that does some shit to your body.

[A]

Yes, it does. McDonald's and stuff.

[D]

Tie in.

[A]

Yeah, really good tie in.

[C]

Supersize me.

[A]

Oh, yes. Super size me.

[B]

But you can't talk about bad about McDonald's, right? Don't you have a deal with them?

[D]

Oh, I wish I had a deal with them.

[B]

Oh, I thought you were doing, like, McDonald's now.

[A]

Do you guys think. Speaking of men in our. Our bodies, man, I'm woman. I'm in my 40s.

[D]

I love it. What do you want me to say, man? I want the spot. I did a voiceover for McDonald's. He said I got a deal for him. I'm not under contract, but I'm loving it.

[A]

I do love McDonald's. We all had the moment with super sized me, and it was like, no, you can't eat that. But then I was like, I can. We can eat a little bit.

[B]

A little bit.

[A]

A little bit.

[C]

It's been a minute, but I really would like to. Oh, gosh.

[A]

Yeah. Now, as far do you guys. Do you guys think that, like, there should be a thing where, like, as guys, we, like, look. We. Do you guys stand in the mirror and look at your naked bodies ever? I do, yeah. Because you're impressed.

[B]

No, it's like a gauge. I look at the scale.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Scale match the. Sometimes it does.

[D]

How often.

[A]

And this is for.

[D]

How often do you look at yourself naked in the mirror and for how long?

[B]

Whenever I get out of the shower.

[D]

But for how, like, of course. You glance.

[B]

No, I do a quick flex, see if the abs are still there.

[A]

Yeah, a lot of times I'm like, running past the mirror. I'm like, no, I'm like.

[D]

I'm not sitting around in front of that mirror.

[C]

And how often do you hit the scale?

[B]

Every.

[A]

Try to. Never. Because it's so depressing.

[B]

Yeah, I weigh. I weigh myself. First thing I do when I wake up every.

[A]

Every morning. Wow, you got it dialed.

[D]

You know what? I have done.

[A]

You're not. You're not a ballooner. So when I'm ballooning, I'm not coming near the scale because. I know. But once I start to shrink, then I'll, like, check, and I'll tell you.

[D]

What you would like more than a scale. The scans. Body fat percentage.

[B]

Hold the thing, and then it, like.

[D]

You go under the.

[A]

Yeah. Where do you go? Where do you glue that?

[D]

I got a guy.

[A]

You got a guy.

[D]

You're in a van.

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah, we'd love to.

[B]

He does prostate exams, too.

[A]

Great. I need to have mine examined. We should.

[B]

We're in our 40s.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

I've got it done. Have you guys?

[C]

No.

[D]

You've never had your prostate exam?

[A]

I mean, you know, regular doctor check. No, wait. Prostate.

[D]

It's in the finger.

[B]

In the butt.

[D]

Move to the side.

[A]

Just when I was a kid did.

[C]

I think I looked it up recently. Talk over you.

[D]

I'm sorry.

[A]

I'm so. What's up?

[C]

Your mom went to town on you.

[A]

No, no, no, no. She was reading the magazine.

[D]

I think you ended my mom. We were listening to Kyle. I think we all heard. No, no.

[A]

My mom was sitting there, and the doctor went to town.

[C]

Read a magazine.

[A]

My mom went to town.

[C]

I didn't really know what to make.

[A]

Of it or, like, you know, some.

[D]

Doctor boy does not need to get his prostate exam.

[A]

No, no, no. Such bad gas that I couldn't stand up. Up.

[D]

Is that true?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And then. And then.

[B]

And just let the air out.

[A]

Yeah. And we, like, went to the doctor, and we were gonna do this thing where, like, I, like, I took collected stool samples and stuff, and, like, they were gonna see what was wrong.

[C]

I was collecting. I'm, like, collecting. You know, some kids are in the baseball card, like, put my poop on.

[D]

Like, a little fake. What he did was stuck his finger in your butt, and you farted. It's not a reason.

[A]

Like, I went to med school. I felt amazing, though, and I was so much better. I went back and I went back to playing sports and stuff.

[C]

He fixed me. He fixed me.

[B]

He fixed me.

[A]

He fixed.

[D]

He fixed me.

[A]

He put his. He went bomb. Does that hurt? Does that hurt?

[D]

Does that hurt?

[A]

He just wiggled it around, and I was like, I'm amazing. I'm.

[C]

I'm playing soccer again. Do you got windy? How. As. As a. Whoa, man. I'm my 40s guy. What was the moment? Because I think that I'm gonna say in the last five years, like, when. When did you. When did you notice, like, ooh, I'm aging. Something's changing. I look different or I feel different or something slowing down or. Have you felt that?

[A]

Oh, Yeah. I think 38 was. Was a year where I was like, oh, I can't. I can't do what I used to do. Like, I get injured, and it stays with me. Like, I need to go to, like, PT to get rid of a little thing that hurt, and it's become a bigger problem. That was, like, the big thing, like, physical stuff.

[B]

I would say 36, when I had my daughter. Then I realized how I couldn't keep up.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

[B]

I was like, yeah. The recovery. When we were younger, we could. We could work on two hours of sleep. Hours of sleep. You would be a bounce back still. Go play basketball.

[A]

Go school. Yeah.

[B]

When I wasn't sleeping because my daughter was like, like, up, down, up, down, up, down, and I wasn't getting a lot of sleep, I realized, like, how crucial sleep was. And that's when I realized, oh, I'm at that age.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where I need rest.

[A]

You need rest. It's the most important thing.

[D]

Can I ask a question to the pod?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Do you think aging changes your sexual prowess? If you were a sexual creature in your 20s and 30s.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

And you admittedly. This is for the women, too. You're an animal in your 20s.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Your hormones are taking you in places where your brain's going, like. And then there's a moment where you go, I'm not being driven by my hormones. This is for the women, too.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

The women don't seem psyched whenever.

[D]

What do you mean?

[C]

And it's for you guys as well.

[A]

You can say whatever you want about being a demon. Sexual demon.

[D]

Maybe. Maybe Kyle's red, but maybe he's wrong. I. I don't have a read on women, obviously, but my question to the women is, when did your sexual prowess change? And has it.

[C]

We're younger.

[A]

We've done this before where we're all like a generation apart.

[C]

Sort of like the Strokes and sort of like My Chemical Romance.

[D]

So you can't relate to this.

[B]

They're still.

[A]

They're still pumping.

[D]

This is. You guys are in a different podcast. If you guys had your own podcast, it would be.

[A]

It would be woman in. I'm in my. My 30s.

[C]

It is different.

[D]

It is different. All right, cool.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is a great height of our podcast because I do think we need to bring it to an end. Besides taking creatine regularly, guys, is there anything that you want to. That you're trying to do, moving forward with your bodies as a man?

[C]

Are you taking creatine regularly?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah, I'm not. Everybody talks.

[A]

Good for your mind and your body.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't take it regularly, but I. Yeah, only when in training mode. Oh, I'm not in training mode.

[A]

It's good for your brain.

[D]

It's good for your brain.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's a big.

[D]

It.

[C]

Part of.

[D]

Of it.

[B]

Is it.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

That's probably what they sold you on. I don't think so.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, that's what the doctor said. That's the most researched supplement in the world.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And they said. Doctor said.

[D]

You saw the same Instagram clip as me.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Well, yeah. Awesome. I think my wife sold you on it, too. Like, she's telling everybody.

[D]

Everybody gets it.

[A]

Everybody's getting the creatine. So any. Any resolutions for your. For your. Any New Year's resolutions? Do you guys. By the way. Yeah. Anything you want to put out there?

[D]

For men's health in our 40s?

[A]

For men's health in our 40s?

[B]

I do want to say that it is very important, men in their 40s, to get your prostate checked. It is very important. We are dropping like flies, young men, because people don't get it checked. They think, this is real. This is what you have. I'm having a surgery tomorrow.

[D]

What surgery?

[B]

On ulcers in my stomach and other issues in my stomach.

[D]

Because of. Your prostate Wasn't checked on time.

[B]

Well, it's because I had an issue over the Christmas break. I had a stomach situation that was kind of fucked. It was basically norovirus. And in their checking, they were like, you might have some other issues going on. And they found that I had ulcers, so now I have to go get them cauterized. And part of it was when part of the whole checkup was this doctor who unfortunately had the thickest fingers you've ever seen, was like, I'm gonna give you a prostate exam. And I was like, you can just put a little camera up there, right? He was like, let me just check first.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then he was like, you're fine, but you should do this more often.

[A]

And definitely see me and my finger.

[B]

I was like, all right, But I don't think.

[D]

Also, a doctor shouldn't say, you should do this more often.

[B]

No. He was like, you should do this.

[D]

You got in a weird relationship.

[A]

You should get me every now and then.

[D]

I've never heard of a doctor going like this. You should do this more often than that.

[B]

No, he didn't do it like that. He did this, and he put his left hand on my shoulder, and then.

[A]

He whispered.

[D]

You got the midges. You should do this more often.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Well, that's scary about the surgery, man.

[A]

That's scary. But it's gonna be okay. You're gonna be even better.

[B]

I'm gonna be fine.

[A]

We're checking out our bodies, and is it gonna be.

[D]

They're gonna do the little tool through your butt. They're gonna put a little camera.

[B]

They're gonna go here. Oh, through the mouth, endoscopy, colonoscopy, little.

[D]

Camera, Your Throat's gonna be sore.

[B]

We've all been there. Am I right?

[A]

You're gonna be Colle. So, yeah, check out your bodies. Bring Lanyat back, guys. Get investigated. Investigate that body. Check out the mirror. Do the body scans. Take some creatine.

[B]

We.

[A]

We could go on another hour because we're having so much fun, but we have to stop.

[C]

Well, like Lamorne said, go check. Check out your body. Make sure everything's in shape if you're in your 40s, and if you're not, and if you're a younger person. You know, I got to say, sometimes going to the doctor can be intimidating or going to the dentist or going to even just talk to a neighbor can be. Can be scary sometimes.

[A]

But guys like Kyle said, look out for your bodies and hang out for the. And.

[C]

Whoa, man, I'm in my fort.

[A]

The man. And women in your life.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Wow. So that was. Whoa, man, I'm in my.

[C]

Hello? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

The hell is going on?

[C]

No, no, he's actually amazing. No, don't believe what you're. What You've heard.

[A]

Who's calling you? Who are you talking about? You talking about me?

[C]

One second. No, no, no, no. White sneakers.

[A]

Yeah, I'm wearing white sneakers. What?

[D]

Dude?

[A]

Who is it?

[B]

What are you talking about?

[C]

Can I give you a call back? No, no, no. That's not what he's like at all. I know a lot of people think that.

[A]

Dude, what the fuck are you talking about? This is really.

[C]

Okay, great. Yeah, they're white and they're all tied up right now. Great. Thanks. Bye.

[A]

Why were you talking about my sneakers with somebody on the show?

[C]

I wasn't, man. That was a great episode.

[A]

Dude. Sometimes I'm like, I'm about to flip out. Yeah, okay. It was a great episode. Jake and Lamorne love those guys.

[C]

Those are with two heavy hitters.

[A]

Yeah, it's kind of like, dare I say, a mirror image. Looking at them. Kind of like I see us.

[C]

Oh, of us.

[A]

Not a mirror image. But, you know, I. I just. I see a lot of ourselves in them.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, let me.

[C]

Let me sit with it. I. I like the guys.

[A]

They're fun. I think you're such a freaking sweet dude and, like, I think the way that you keep it real is rock and roll.

[C]

Well, all I. All I know is.

[D]

That's right.

[C]

And I really wish you could catch up with me. This has been a great.

[A]

I really wish I could too, you know, Some. Someday I will. Oh, you're very real. You're all.

[C]

You're always very honest and, and it, it's, it's, it goes both ways. It's encouraged me and throughout, throughout our friendship.

[A]

You're my brother.

[C]

And guess what?

[A]

My brother man, if I don't know.

[C]

If you remember from earlier when we were talking to tips to Jake and and little more. But yeah, I love you.

[A]

I love you too. And that's easy for all the guys out there. Try, try saying I love you to your boats.

[C]

See you next time in the bat cave.

[A]

See you next time in the bat cave.

[C]

What's Our Podcast is a Headgun podcast created and hosted by Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney.

[A]

The show is produced and engineered by Rochelle Chen and Anya Kaps, production support from Ali Khan and Ryan Lutzow.

[C]

Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. Katie Moose is our VP of content at Headgum. Our theme music is made by us.

[A]

For more podcasts by headgum, visit headcom.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hi, I'm Drew Afualo. And I'm Daason Afualo. And we host the Headgum Podcast two Idiot Girls. Each episode we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at at.

[D]

A sleepover with your weird cousins.

[A]

We talk about all kinds of things, like weird dating, horror stories, maybe a really bad wedgie you had once, or even a show you're loving and anything in between. So you can listen to Two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.