Just Beck & Kyle

Summary

Podcast Summary: What's Our Podcast? with Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney

Episode: “Just Beck & Kyle”
Air Date: January 14, 2026
Host: Headgum
Starring: Beck Bennett, Kyle Mooney, Richelle Chen, Anya Konovskaya

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Overview

In this unique episode of “What’s Our Podcast?”, Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney go solo for the first time with no guest to guide them. The duo leans into their chemistry, improvisational background, and penchant for absurdity as they workshop podcast concepts, riff about daily life, and ultimately dive into an improvised “podcast within a podcast”: the “Detective Alexander Bensworth and Charlie Hackle Mystery Hour.”

This episode highlights their struggle (and joy) in finding a podcast identity, as well as the playful self-deprecation, tangents, and improvisational brilliance that made them favorites on SNL.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. A Podcast with No Video—Lost Footage Saga

• [00:44]–[03:13]
  • The episode kicks off explaining that due to a technical glitch—specifically, a joke about “Kyle farting on the hard drive”—the video portion of their recording was lost.
  • The production team compensates by editing interesting visuals and images over the audio for viewers, ensuring the episode remains fun even in video format.
  • Quote: “Kyle farted on the hard drive and we lost the video.” — Richelle Chen [01:40]
  • They remark on how often podcasts mention lost episodes—now, they’re “part of the club.”

2. Breaking Routine and Going Guest-less

• [01:04]–[06:01]
  • Beck and Kyle discuss how they usually have guests pitch podcast ideas, but this time it’s just them, reflecting on rarely getting to talk one-on-one.
  • Richelle jokes about the audience finally seeing what their actual dynamic is like.
  • This leads into a playful, meta warm-up that devolves into a riff about Beck’s hand motions (which look “like he’s jerking off or ripping out pubes”).
  • Quote: “I guess I’m not going to do that warm up anymore because I look like an idiot.” — Beck [07:29]
  • Memorable Bit: Beck and Kyle riff about theater school warm-ups turning into wildly inappropriate gestures.

3. The Nature of Imagination and Acting

• [08:53]–[10:17]
  • Beck and Kyle reflect on how much “imagination” is really a part of acting. Is it literal (I AM Abraham Lincoln), or more about feeling and intention?
  • “I feel like the emotional work is more imaginary...” — Beck [21:50]

4. The Origin Story of This Episode

• [12:06]–[14:10]
  • The missing guest: Beck recovering from illness, a would-be guest uncomfortable with potential germs, and turning lemons into lemonade by deciding to record anyway.
  • Injected with their usual playfulness: “Are the EMTs coming to be on our podcast?” [13:24]
  • Imagining an epic sitcom-style entrance of police, firefighters, and EMTs as guests.

5. Honest Reflections on Podcasting & Mood

• [16:26]–[18:00]
  • Both discuss the pressure and self-consciousness that comes with recording (“Not good. Yeah, not good, dude.” — Beck [16:27]).
  • The two take a “lap” before recording, connecting as friends, which affects their on-mic vibe.

6. Domestic & Holiday Tangents: Thanksgiving and Family

• [24:43]–[26:59]
  • Chat about Thanksgiving meals, Beck’s brother the brewer (Cerebral Brewing in Denver), and typical family contributions.
  • Playful confusion as Kyle ponders, “Have I ever had chicken?” — leading to a silly exploration of chicken, bones, and “what even is chicken.”
  • Quote: “Is chicken the shit with the bone?” — Beck [28:00]

7. Daily Diets and Bathroom Humor

• [30:10]–[31:51]
  • Kyle details his nutrition—“Mostly little slices of cheese, salami, and nuts”—and boasts about the variety/consistency of his “curly cue” or “long log” poops.
  • The conversation leans heavily into bodily humor, which circles back later in the improv.

8. Absurd Podcast Ideas and Improvisational Brainstorming

• [37:44]–[40:53]
  • Beck and Kyle pitch concepts rapid-fire:
    • Brothers, Birthdays, Dads, Family, House Parties (Beck)
    • Birthdays, “Detective Alexander Bensworth and Charlie Hackle Mystery Hour, an improvised podcast” (Kyle)
  • Both agree the improvised mystery is simultaneously the riskiest and most intriguing.

9. “Detective Alexander Bensworth and Charlie Hackle Mystery Hour” (Improv Segment)

• [47:43]–[65:14]
  • The podcast becomes an old-school improvised radio play with Beck, Kyle, Richelle, and others performing as British-sounding sleuths, oddball characters, and cameo celebrity impressions (Bill Clinton, Austin Powers, Jack Nicholson).
  • The “plot” involves searching for the mysterious Mundarian Diamond, with ridiculous asides about bread, bodily functions, and character quirks (Charlie Hackle being 8 inches tall with commentary on anatomy).
  • Memorable Quote:
    • “Make sure you have potty that you need to take care of, go do it now, because you don't want to be wetting your pants and shitting the couch out of fear.” — Charlie Hackle [49:56]
    • “My butthole comes with whole curlicues, big long ones, log ones, and green and brown strings.” [65:45]
  • The overlayed mystery music (with unexpected YouTube ads) becomes a running joke.

10. Post-Improv Reflection

• [66:24]–[73:49]
  • Beck and Kyle evaluate the improv segment with good-humored self-critique; they know the “mystery” lacked structure, but find joy and energy in playing to the drama of the background music.
  • Acknowledgement that their improv leaned on the same juvenile jokes, self-aware:
    • “We want to apologize for only making the same references to body parts over and over.” — Kyle [73:34]
    • “We’ll try to get into more body parts and stuff and switch it up.” — Beck [73:39]
  • The hosts encourage listener feedback—should “Bensworth and Hackle” return?

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Lost Video Gag:
  “Kyle farted on the hard drive and we lost the video.” — Richelle Chen [01:40]

• Acting is Imagination?
  “I feel like the emotional work is more imaginary and…” — Beck [21:50]

• Chicken Confusion:
  “Is chicken the shit with the bone?” — Beck [28:00]

• Improv Mystery Podcast Opening:
  “Good evening, sleuths. It's me, Detective Alexander Bensworth, along with my trusty sidekick, Charlie Hackle.” — Kyle [47:45]

• Absurdity Peak:
  “You don't want to be wetting your pants and shitting the couch out of fear. That's something I've done many times, Detective.” — Charlie Hackle [49:56]

• Body Humor Meta-Commentary:
  “We want to apologize for only making the same references to body parts over and over.” — Kyle Mooney [73:34]

• Improvising with Music:
  “For myself...just hearing the music was, like, funny to me.” — Kyle [69:32]

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Major Segments & Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamps | Highlights | |---------|------------|------------| | Opening/Technical Issue | 00:44–03:13 | Lost video explanation; setting up the episode's unusual format. | | Warm-up & Friendship | 05:28–08:11 | Theater warm-ups and weird hand motions, machine-gun riffing. | | Acting & Imagination Chat | 08:53–10:17 | What does it mean to “imagine” as an actor? | | Guestless Episode Context | 12:06–14:10 | How the sick day became a solo episode.| | Thanksgiving & Chicken Bit | 24:43–28:36 | Holidays, family contributions, Beck’s brother’s brewery, and “What is chicken?” | | Bathroom/Nutrition Humor | 30:10–31:51 | Kyle and Beck analyze their eating (and pooping) habits. | | Podcast Pitch-Off | 37:44–40:53 | Beck and Kyle pitch possible podcast themes; settle on improv mystery.| | Detective Bensworth & Hackle Mystery Hour | 47:43–65:14 | Extended, improvised radio play with recurring asides, sound issues, and in-character mayhem.| | Decompression & Self-Analysis | 66:24–73:49 | Post-show reflection, critique, listener engagement invitation.|

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Tone and Language

• The episode is playful, absurd, and self-deprecating.
• Banter is fast-paced, frequently irreverent and meta.
• Recurring themes: bodily humor, genuine vulnerability about podcasting, the joy (and embarrassment) of improv gone off the rails.

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Final Thoughts & Listener Takeaway

This episode of “What’s Our Podcast?” exemplifies Beck and Kyle’s greatest strengths—friendship, improvisation, and fearless ridiculousness. While perhaps not the most structured or guest-driven, it’s a love letter to unscripted comedy and a window into their real chemistry. The centerpiece “mystery hour” is both a lampoon and homage to improv podcasts everywhere.

For listeners:
If you enjoy hearing comedic minds stumble joyfully through ideas, run with inane bits, and affectionately roast one another for their “improv crimes,” this episode is for you.

Listener Challenge:
Would YOU listen to more “Detective Alexander Bensworth and Charlie Hackle” adventures? Let them know—your opinion could tip the scales on this recurring bit!

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Listen to the episode on YouTube

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Produced by Headgum.

Transcript

[Beck Bennett]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[Producer or Narrator]

New year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. So now get two snack wraps, plus.

[Richelle Chen]

Fries and a medium soft drink for just $8 for limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California. And for delivery.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I want to hang with Beck all day.

[Beck Bennett]

I'll hang with Beck all day.

[Guest or Character voice]

Hey.

[Beck Bennett]

Hey.

[Richelle Chen]

But yeah, that's.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I.

[Richelle Chen]

And. And also with Kyle.

[Beck Bennett]

Pretty good.

[Richelle Chen]

That's good.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I want to hang with Beck all day and also with Kyle.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah, but we'll.

[Beck Bennett]

We'll work on that later.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

No, I actually want to figure it out right now.

[Richelle Chen]

God, what are we doing here, man?

[Beck Bennett]

Come on.

[Richelle Chen]

Let's be honest, dude.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I know it's. You're right. This probably. If you're w. You're. If you're watching this, wherever you watch your video podcasts, it probably looks a little different than our video normally looks.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Because we're usually in the studio, the two of us, we're doing a little.

[Richelle Chen]

Intro before our guest comes in. But this specific episode we did, we didn't have a guest, and it was just you and me talking for about.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

The very first time. And I feel like you and I.

[Kyle Mooney]

Never get to talk.

[Beck Bennett]

I know. It was really like, we do.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

We do it for the. You know, we do it for the show. We do it with the guests, and we sort of like, project this sort of thing of like, oh, these guys are friends and they converse.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

But we really don't ever really do that.

[Richelle Chen]

No, we don't ever talk. So it was nice to actually do.

[Beck Bennett]

That for one of the first times.

[Richelle Chen]

On camera being recorded.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

But there was something that happened, and I'm not pointing any fingers.

[Richelle Chen]

Kyle farted on the hard drive and we lost the video.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I didn't know that farts would affect a hard drive.

[Beck Bennett]

I thought it was a bit. Right.

[Richelle Chen]

Sorry.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Because they're made out of metal. I thought that metal stop all farts.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Richelle Chen]

And you were like, haha, I'm gonna.

[Beck Bennett]

Fart on the hard drive.

[Richelle Chen]

It's.

[Beck Bennett]

Nothing's gonna go wrong. And then we lost the footage.

[Richelle Chen]

So we learned something about metal hard drives and Kyle.

[Beck Bennett]

The power of Kyle's farts. Okay.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

This is sort of a. Do you ever hear about. I feel like I'll listen to podcasts and they'll be like, we lost. We lost the episode. Have you ever heard that before?

[Beck Bennett]

I have heard that.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

It's sad.

[Richelle Chen]

It's so sad. Where did it go? It's like, because we can't. We captured something. I Think really special.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, we did lose the video.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Is accurate that we lost the video and I think we were excited about it.

[Beck Bennett]

But.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

But it is.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah, it is a podcast.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

So the audio is great. The audio is perfect. The audio actually sounds. It's actually the best sounding episode we've had yet.

[Richelle Chen]

The audio is amazing. Yes. So that's actually the most important part because if we just said the video.

[Beck Bennett]

That wouldn't work at all.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

But we do have a part of the video, so.

[Richelle Chen]

Yes.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

You know how in every episode, like a guest usually is like, hey, this is my idea for your podcast. You remember that part?

[Richelle Chen]

I think I do.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. From our podcast.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny. Yeah.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

In this one, you and I had ideas for the. For our podcast.

[Richelle Chen]

Oh, yeah, that's right. And we went with one of them.

[Beck Bennett]

The best one, and we.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah, we had a little bit of fun.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Yeah, that, dare I say, legendary brother. That was amazing.

[Richelle Chen]

That was amazing, brother. Absolutely. I think it's fine for us to call ourselves legendary. Yeah, it was so amazing. Like, see. Yeah, it was really legendary. It was.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

In the. That will be in this video that you're about to watch.

[Richelle Chen]

Yes, yes, it will be.

[Kyle Mooney]

But everything.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Our intro and our outro, that's just going to be. What we, we did is we asked our team like, well, you know, rather than just staring at a graphic that says we lost the footage, here we are like, let's try to put together. Let's like, let's make it a little visually interesting. So we had, we had our, our, our.

[Guest or Character voice]

The.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

The what's our podcast team put together pretty cool edit of images just so you can enjoy your, Your viewing experience.

[Beck Bennett]

Your visual viewing experience.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah. If that's how you consume, if that's.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

How you get down.

[Richelle Chen]

If that's how you get down with the Funk Man.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Who is the Funk Man?

[Richelle Chen]

Oh, I guess. I guess you're the Funkman. I was, I was looking at you, I was thinking about you, the Funk man, over there on your keys and your, your midi, you know, keyboards or whatever you're funking out. Doesn't bother me.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Doesn't bother me to be called the Funk Man.

[Beck Bennett]

No.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah, you're. You're going to be walking a little.

[Beck Bennett]

Differently today, aren't you? I can see it. It's.

[Richelle Chen]

Wheels are turning your head, I feel.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

And call me the Funk Crown.

[Guest or Character voice]

Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

Everybody calls you the Funk man, but.

[Richelle Chen]

We just weren't ready to call it to you to your face. So anyway, the Funk Man. So yeah, that's. That's what happened with this episode? If you're just listening, nothing will be different. If you watch, you'll see a little edit and then you will see the full video of the podcast within the podcast, which is we had a lot of fun with.

[Beck Bennett]

And yeah, hope you do too. That was a car horn. And that was another car horn.

[Richelle Chen]

I mean, New York City, there's a jackhammer out there. There's a lot happening, brother.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Godspeed.

[Beck Bennett]

Thanks. Godspeed to you too.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Enjoy the show and keep on. And don't forget to subscribe to all of it.

[Richelle Chen]

Our Instagram. Yeah. And YouTube and everything. Be our subscribers. Make sure we check out everything that's.

[Beck Bennett]

Going out to you. What's our podcast? What's it gonna be about?

[Richelle Chen]

Tell us.

[Beck Bennett]

What's our podcast? We.

[Richelle Chen]

What should we talk about with Beck and Kyle?

[Beck Bennett]

Ah, and we're rolling. Of course we are. That is a classic warmup. And let it out.

[Richelle Chen]

Do you ever do that where they.

[Kyle Mooney]

Go, wait, say it one more time.

[Beck Bennett]

This is a classic warm up. Loosen the jaw, let the sound come out.

[Guest or Character voice]

Ha ha.

[Kyle Mooney]

What the. What in hell's name were you just doing with your hands?

[Beck Bennett]

Kyle? That is theater school.

[Kyle Mooney]

Can I see what you're doing with your hands?

[Beck Bennett]

What, this pa?

[Kyle Mooney]

No, before that.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh.

[Producer or Narrator]

I don't know.

[Kyle Mooney]

I know something, all right? I know some people are listening and some people are watching the video or some people are listening to the podcast.

[Beck Bennett]

That is the.

[Kyle Mooney]

There's a specific thing that Beck is doing with his two hands, and it reminds me of something, and I'm not gonna say what it is, but if you're watching the video, comment and let me know what it looks like that he's doing.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm curious if anyone thinks they see the same thing.

[Beck Bennett]

Butter churning.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Yeah, Beck.

[Kyle Mooney]

Butter churning.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Butter churning.

[Richelle Chen]

Milk. So just.

[Kyle Mooney]

So for the listeners. Yeah, you wanna explain. For the listeners, you wanna explain exactly what you're doing with your hands?

[Beck Bennett]

I'm wrapping them together in a ball and I'm shaking it kind of right around my waist to loosen up my jaw.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Right around your waist?

[Kyle Mooney]

Right around your waist. And what's around.

[Producer or Narrator]

What's around your waist?

[Beck Bennett]

My pubes. So it looks like I'm ripping out my pubes.

[Kyle Mooney]

It looks like you are tearing the shit out of your.

[Beck Bennett]

I just like, grabbing my pubes and wrestling over.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, like, kind of like, you know, like when you. Would you do this with, like, a horse or something? You know, you're like, whoa. You're like, you know, like.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. It's like you're holding onto the harness.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Yeah.

[Guest or Character voice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Richelle Chen]

I guess I never thought about it that way.

[Beck Bennett]

I guess I'm not going to do that warm up anymore because I look like a idiot. Are you okay? You look scared.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, no, no, I mean, this pillow is like riding. Riding me.

[Producer or Narrator]

Yeah.

[Richelle Chen]

No, I mean, come on. I was just.

[Beck Bennett]

Dude, I was just.

[Kyle Mooney]

Are you seriously. Are you seriously bummed?

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, I'm not bummed at all. I think it's really funny. It looks like I'm jerking myself off, like, with two hands is. I think is what I was like. I was like, trying to play dumb, but no. Or it looks like I'm trying to like jerk. Jerk off somebody who, like, who's trying to get away. And I'm kind of like fighting them, like. And they're like, try.

[Richelle Chen]

They're like, no, no, no. And I'm like, come here.

[Producer or Narrator]

Oh, my God.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You're like, oh, my God. Because we've been there before. You and me have been there before.

[Kyle Mooney]

Sorry, describe this again.

[Beck Bennett]

No, I've been trying to jerk you.

[Richelle Chen]

Off and you've been like, no, no, no.

[Beck Bennett]

And I've been like trying to grab you and just hold on, hold on for my dear life.

[Kyle Mooney]

You have a wild imagination.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

This is really, really incredible.

[Beck Bennett]

Thank you. Yeah, no, it's like, it's. Yeah, no, it's. I. I've been. I've always been told that I have an incredible imagination. And like, you know, they said that.

[Kyle Mooney]

To you when you were a kid.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. They'll do something with that.

[Kyle Mooney]

They told you that?

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I think Mrs. Mrs. Graydon and Mrs. Charlie in third grade tell me that you should do something.

[Kyle Mooney]

You did do something with that. Not only. Because not only did you do. I did theater in high school. I remember you and Les Mis.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I. I have to be honest. Nobody ever told me to do anything with my imagination.

[Kyle Mooney]

Nobody's ever said that.

[Beck Bennett]

No, but with my, with my, with my performing talent. Yes.

[Producer or Narrator]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

They were like, get up on stage.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

And is it.

[Kyle Mooney]

And when you're acting. When you're acting, that's. That is. Would you say that's using your imagination?

[Beck Bennett]

It depends on, Depends on, I guess what you're.

[Kyle Mooney]

Don't you need to imagine like I am this person or something like that or.

[Beck Bennett]

I don't know. Sometimes it, it. I think it varies for everybody, I think sometimes.

[Kyle Mooney]

But also, you don't imagine at all when you act?

[Beck Bennett]

I do, but yeah, I mean, I guess so. That's interesting. Like, I feel like if you just. Yeah, well, yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

If you, like, let it go.

[Richelle Chen]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Sometimes, though, I think about imagination being, like, imagining, like, images.

[Kyle Mooney]

Right. I think imagining can be like, I'm imagining I'm Abraham Lincoln.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. But unless you actually think you are Abraham Lincoln.

[Kyle Mooney]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

You know what I mean?

[Kyle Mooney]

But that would be derangement.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Guest or Character voice]

Or.

[Beck Bennett]

I mean, I.

[Richelle Chen]

But it's also.

[Beck Bennett]

There are different types of acting that's like, if you're playing a specific character, if you're just like. I don't know. I. I mean, this is talking about.

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm not, by the way, for the audience at home. Sorry to interrupt. You're listening to what's our Podcast with Beck, Ben and Kyle Mooney.

[Beck Bennett]

It's show.

[Kyle Mooney]

Let me get to. Through the fucking. Let me get through the fucking intro to the show.

[Beck Bennett]

Trying to help you out because it seemed like.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

How. What was.

[Kyle Mooney]

How. What were you going to do that was helpful?

[Beck Bennett]

I was going to say we're talking about acting.

[Kyle Mooney]

That actually is not helpful because I need to describe what the podcast is.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm sorry, dude. I'm sorry. You know, sometimes I just, like, we. We just. I feel like. It feels like being shot out of a cannon and I just don't know. Sometimes I don't know how to do this.

[Producer or Narrator]

Okay.

[Guest or Character voice]

It's.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's Confessions with Beck Bennett. Yay. I can't wait to watch Yippee.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, God. If.

[Kyle Mooney]

Can I intro the show?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah, go ahead, intro the show.

[Kyle Mooney]

You're listening or watching. What's our podcast with. Oh, my God.

[Beck Bennett]

What? I'm so. I was. I didn't know I needed to have my eyes open. What did I.

[Producer or Narrator]

You didn't.

[Kyle Mooney]

You actually didn't need to have your eyes open. You could have just heard, I thought.

[Beck Bennett]

Oral Q. Oh, to say my name.

[Kyle Mooney]

No, to. To parade around town with with a big bird mask on, yelling, yippee. I just found my. I just found a home for my peanut butter.

[Producer or Narrator]

Yes.

[Kyle Mooney]

To say your name.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, so do you want to try it one more time?

[Kyle Mooney]

I would like to.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

You are listening or you're watching what's our Podcast with Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney. The podcast where we are trying to figure out what our podcast should be about. And we usually invite a guest to come in and pitch us their idea for what our podcast should be about.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, so now back to acting.

[Kyle Mooney]

Au contraire. Today's episode is going to be a little different because guess what? We know, Guesto.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, I didn't know you spoke Spanish.

[Kyle Mooney]

Thank you.

[Beck Bennett]

You're welcome. Yeah, we know, Guesto. Today we know gusto, but we have our usual gusto. That's good. Pretty cool, right? Yeah. Nobody wanted to come in today, people.

[Kyle Mooney]

That's true. Well, also, I'm. You know, you could hear my voice. I'm. I'm getting over a cold. It's been so long that I've been dealing with this thing, and I've been, like, really, really trying to take care of it.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Producer or Narrator]

And we.

[Kyle Mooney]

We told the guests, I'll get comfy. The other day we recorded, honestly, was yesterday.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Like, that I was getting over being.

[Beck Bennett]

Sick, and one of them didn't come in.

[Kyle Mooney]

And I did test it for Covid. I was. I tested negative. And one person was uncomfortable, which is fair because they. Incredibly fair. And I. And I.

[Beck Bennett]

We love that person. We're not going to say their name. Yeah. But we can't wait to have them on.

[Kyle Mooney]

Absolutely.

[Beck Bennett]

And then maybe then we'll talk about it.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes. You know, would you hear the siren?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Are the mics catching that? Oh, it's gone now.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Oh.

[Beck Bennett]

I thought maybe if it would, like, if it was coming closer, be like, oh, are the EMTs coming to be on our podcast?

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes. Or are they going to arrest the guests that didn't show up?

[Beck Bennett]

Well, not if they're an EMT.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah. I thought, yeah, EMTs don't arrest no more.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. But maybe it's like. Yeah, maybe like, the. The firemen and the police officers and the EMTs are all coming over here, and they get out and there's, like. There's, like, a criminal in the back seat of the police car, and there's, like, the hose is going off in the fire engine, and the emt, there's like, a. A person struggling, but then, like. But they're so excited to be on what's our podcast that they all, like, park their cars in the parking lot, and they come in and it's like. And, like, they come in here, and they knock on the door and they're like, yeah, we. We heard you guys don't have a guest. We were, like, listening live somehow.

[Kyle Mooney]

And.

[Beck Bennett]

And they come in and, like, yeah, and. Because they're so excited to be on.

[Kyle Mooney]

And one of them has on a big bird mask, and he's running around town and he's going.

[Beck Bennett]

And he's trying to be.

[Kyle Mooney]

I found a home for my peanut butter.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, my peanut butter. And, like, and then he's got his huge, like, it's not just like a. It's not a regular tub of peanut butter, but it's, like, actually, like a really tiny one. It's like, about the same.

[Kyle Mooney]

I don't like that part.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, but he's, like, really bad as fuck. Was like when he got at Costco.

[Kyle Mooney]

And so, like, no, New Choice.

[Beck Bennett]

Sam's Club.

[Kyle Mooney]

New choice.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, oh, the farm.

[Producer or Narrator]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, so, okay, so the fireman has the big bucket of peanut butter, but we don't know he's a fireman because he's got the big brew mascot. And then the. And then the.

[Kyle Mooney]

The Raiders of the Lost Ark.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, they are there too. They're saying somebody stole our peanut butter. And then Big Bird's like, holy shit. Oh. And then the cops arrest Big Bird and they throw him New Choice. And then the cops blow up Big Bird.

[Producer or Narrator]

Oh, I didn't think it was gonna.

[Guest or Character voice]

Go there.

[Kyle Mooney]

You deranged motherfucker.

[Beck Bennett]

And it's the best episode we ever have, and it puts us on the map of best comedy podcast of 2025. And we do a CNN Spotlight where, like, it's like a full episode of CNN where it's just us talking about.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay, may I interrupt this moment to say, if you are still listening, you are high as f.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, we don't. We don't have a guest today, so we don't have the usual pressure. We're just. We're just as loose as a goose.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah. How do you flat. How do you know? How do you rate that?

[Beck Bennett]

How do I rate what we just did that we. That people might not see all of? Yeah, I would say, I don't know. Not too high sometimes.

[Kyle Mooney]

I know sometimes we do these, and I'm like, can we just start all over?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I feel the same way. I could have started that over, but we don't have time. We have to keep moving today.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, that's true.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

How.

[Kyle Mooney]

How are you doing?

[Beck Bennett]

Not good. Yeah, not good, dude.

[Kyle Mooney]

And I'm.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm fine. How are you doing?

[Kyle Mooney]

I feel like I saw you yesterday and you were doing good. Was that just all fiction?

[Beck Bennett]

No, no, it's just. No, I'm. I'm fine.

[Kyle Mooney]

Day to day thing.

[Beck Bennett]

Day to day thing. Yeah. Just a different energy today.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Certain things happened.

[Kyle Mooney]

Do you.

[Richelle Chen]

Do you.

[Kyle Mooney]

And I.

[Beck Bennett]

And I, honestly. And I, we talked. We talked before this. We took a week. Yeah. We took a little lap just to catch up. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

We kind of broke the fourth wall and hung out, you know, like. Like. Like real people for a moment and took a lap and caught up with each other.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And. And it was great. It was really good.

[Richelle Chen]

But. Yeah, I think I actually.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think I Think you. In that. When that lap started, and forgive me, we can cut any of this. Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

When that lap started, I think you were lower than me, and I think by the time we got back to the studio, I think I was lower than you.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I think so.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think, like, you got. I think you. You started talking about things that got my. I was like, oh, yeah, wait, really?

[Producer or Narrator]

Like, and, like, in.

[Beck Bennett]

My own. Like, Like, I was talking about things that I was dealing with and you. And that ignited it in your brain.

[Kyle Mooney]

Ignited my own versions of.

[Guest or Character voice]

Yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Look, okay, you guys wanted a solo podcast, just us, no guest. And this is what it. This is what it looks like.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Sometimes. Sometimes we come in here and we're not. We're not ready to do a podcast.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think that the cold open, the moment where we are. Where in this. In this version, you were sort of warming up and then you did the thing with your hands, which, to say it out, it looked. I don't know if that. That's an actual thing. It looked like you were masturbating.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, it looked like I was masturbating.

[Richelle Chen]

Is that a real warm up?

[Beck Bennett]

Warm up? Yeah, and my hands were a little bit lower than usual. Usually they're up here, but because of the mic, they were lower. But you, like, put your hands.

[Kyle Mooney]

Wait, what does it look like when you. How are you supposed to do it? Okay. Okay. Oh, got it.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, but that is a real warm up.

[Kyle Mooney]

But we never know how we're gonna get into the show.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And.

[Kyle Mooney]

And sometimes it's gonna be good. Sometimes it'll be bad, Sometimes it'll be okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Sometimes you falter a little bit. Like when you were like, it looked like he was doing something, and I was like, I. I feel like I should have. Could have just said, did it look like I was jerking off?

[Kyle Mooney]

I know, but, like, also, we always. I think we. We take that. Right.

[Producer or Narrator]

We.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. We take that route a lot. So I was, like, trying to play dumb.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, and then.

[Kyle Mooney]

And see, I've. I regret saying the thing about pulling my pubic hairs and, like, kind of, like using it to, like, steer.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

But maybe that's an interesting. Maybe that's interesting imagery.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I. I would love for. You know, we've gotten. We gotten some fan art and some contributions from Arakos. If. If anybody wants to draw a picture of Kyle sort of like riding. Riding a horse.

[Producer or Narrator]

It's not right.

[Kyle Mooney]

Oh, did you.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, it could be like a horse, but instead of holding on to the. The saddle, it's like some pubes coming up from the horse's back or something. Or I was.

[Kyle Mooney]

Maybe it's. Maybe you were describing that. That's not what I was imagining.

[Beck Bennett]

No.

[Kyle Mooney]

Now we're back to imagination.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Isn't that.

[Richelle Chen]

Isn't that amazing?

[Kyle Mooney]

Isn't that clever?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, that is so clever the way you found that.

[Kyle Mooney]

You know how sometimes I feel like we. You and I have both ended up in situations where. On this podcast, where our legs are sort of shooting out like this?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

That is what I was imagining. I was imagining I'm, like, sort of controlling.

[Producer or Narrator]

I don't know.

[Kyle Mooney]

There was no horse. There was just. I was just like, kind of. Whoa. Like, it's like I'm trying to, like, wrangle.

[Producer or Narrator]

Is that what the word?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Wrangle myself.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. See, like you're trying to get comfortable on the couch or like, whoa, whoa.

[Kyle Mooney]

Or like the Kyle body's out of control.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, that. No, that's clear to me.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

That's good to me now. And I think that's. I think that's great. And I like that a lot.

[Richelle Chen]

No, you've.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

You.

[Kyle Mooney]

You regret that we've already spent so much time.

[Beck Bennett]

No, I just. Honestly, I. I didn't know how to add on to it. Like, oh.

[Producer or Narrator]

And I.

[Kyle Mooney]

But it was probably a mistake. You. I probably just shouldn't have ever gone there.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And now here we are.

[Kyle Mooney]

Did you.

[Beck Bennett]

And we were talking about acting.

[Kyle Mooney]

I never got to.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Is.

[Kyle Mooney]

Is there something more you want to say about acting?

[Beck Bennett]

No, I guess the point I was going to say is that, like, I'm not going. I'm not. Like, sometimes depends on the part. But also, like, I found, like, oh, pretend I'm in this period of time and you're a different person. It's like just.

[Richelle Chen]

You talk as being yourself.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And you get. Try to get what you want.

[Kyle Mooney]

Do a. Figure out a voice.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And that's. But that's also, like, character work on top of acting sometimes. Like, but you. There's like, acting is. I feel like, to me, the overall bubble. But, like, the basics of acting are just trying to be truthful and, like, talk to a person and feel something in the. Whatever. This is obnoxious.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

But just.

[Beck Bennett]

But talking about acting is really okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

But can I add. Can I make an argument?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think that, like, even if you are just talking as yourself, if you're like, oh, I'm sad. My character is sad in this scene, or I am sad in this scene.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Kyle Mooney]

That is imagining yes, because, like, you're not. You can't. You're not. You're not planning to be sad on a day to day basis. You know what I mean?

[Richelle Chen]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. I feel like the emotional work is more imaginary and.

[Producer or Narrator]

Edward actors spoken.

[Kyle Mooney]

Fuck.

[Beck Bennett]

Actor.

[Richelle Chen]

The Edward.

[Kyle Mooney]

Edward actors has spoken.

[Beck Bennett]

Wait, what'd you say?

[Kyle Mooney]

Edward actors.

[Beck Bennett]

Edward actors have spoken.

[Kyle Mooney]

How. How was.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Oh, I thought you had.

[Kyle Mooney]

You had to host a lot of people for Thanksgiving. I'm sorry, guys.

[Beck Bennett]

It sounds. You're getting over a sickness and it sounds like. It kind of sounds like I'm about to get sick. I don't think I'm getting your sickness, but I've got a throat.

[Kyle Mooney]

My wife just texted me saying that she's lying down and I might have gotten her sick.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, God, we're all. We're all screwed. You guys. Kyle's infecting us.

[Producer or Narrator]

Anya, Rochelle, it comes.

[Beck Bennett]

Kyle has Ebola again.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Richelle Chen]

Fuck you.

[Guest or Character voice]

You. You.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, you always get Ebola this time of year. Yeah.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's cold outside.

[Beck Bennett]

It's cold outside. Got blood coming out every pore. Yeah.

[Guest or Character voice]

Wasn't that Ebola?

[Beck Bennett]

What was the movie Outbreak?

[Kyle Mooney]

Oh, yeah, with Justin Hoffman.

[Beck Bennett]

That was classic. Thanks. Yeah, Thanksgiving was a lot. Yeah, we hosted family, stayed at our house. It's exhausting. So many dishes, so much food to prepare. What's going on?

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay, and I guess we'll just act like nothing is happening. Except one of our producers just went down and turned on the most.

[Producer or Narrator]

Odd.

[Kyle Mooney]

Looking device I've ever seen. In the middle of you telling me about your Thanksgiving. Anya, would you like to explain yourself?

[Beck Bennett]

What was going on over there? Anya?

[Anya Konovskaya]

You guys both told us yesterday that you don't think Kyle's contagious anymore, so. But now it's sounding like he is contagious. So we turned on the air purifier.

[Producer or Narrator]

Oh, sorry.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, that would be amazing if the air purifier defended you from his illness. Like it sucked up his illness.

[Kyle Mooney]

I was sick a week and two days ago.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, if Kate is sick. If your wife, Kate is sick, it's because she was spending time around you while you were contagious. But I. I can't imagine.

[Anya Konovskaya]

And why are you sick?

[Beck Bennett]

I don't know. I was feeling. I was feeling kind of crappy yesterday, but that was the first moment I came in contact with Kyle.

[Anya Konovskaya]

Someone else got you sick?

[Beck Bennett]

Maybe my son isn't sick, but I also didn't get a lot of sleep.

[Anya Konovskaya]

We just have a busy week.

[Kyle Mooney]

Also, for the record, what Kate is describing, I don't think she listens to this podcast. She's like, I'm really tired. I'm like, that's not what I was dealing with.

[Anya Konovskaya]

So you're saying your wife is a liar?

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm saying she got. I'm saying don't say that. That's not necessarily my.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, the sickness that I had wasn't a tired sickness exactly. It was like I was runny nose, sniffly sneezy.

[Producer or Narrator]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I don't. I don't know what mine is. Mine might just be a little dryness. We'll see.

[Kyle Mooney]

All right, let's run through Thanksgiving.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Okay.

[Richelle Chen]

So it was really good.

[Beck Bennett]

We had a really nice time. It was probably the best meal.

[Kyle Mooney]

I can't talk about Thanksgiving if. Because, like, I'm sure your family members listen to the podcast. Some of them might.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, some of them do. I think my. My brother does. My brother's. My younger brother Sam is a big fan.

[Kyle Mooney]

Shout out. Sam Bennett, who. Who works with beer.

[Beck Bennett]

He works. He works with beer. He makes beer. He works with people to make beer. He's the head brewer at Cerebral Brewing in Denver.

[Richelle Chen]

Shout out Cerebral. Go check it out. My brother Sam Bennett says, the head.

[Kyle Mooney]

Brewer say that what's our podcast sent you. And you can get four free beers.

[Beck Bennett]

Exactly.

[Richelle Chen]

But only.

[Beck Bennett]

Only do it. So everybody else, you're going to have to pay, but it's worth it.

[Richelle Chen]

So rush over to Cerebral to try.

[Beck Bennett]

To get four free beers. Yep. Sam rules. Drew rules, too. He's just. He just doesn't. Doesn't listen.

[Kyle Mooney]

You know, that's the podcast.

[Beck Bennett]

Not. Yeah, yeah. Sam.

[Richelle Chen]

Sam.

[Beck Bennett]

He does a lot of cleaning of tanks. You know, there's a lot of labor, and I think you can listen to podcast. Oh, k. Kyle's getting bored.

[Kyle Mooney]

No, no, no.

[Beck Bennett]

My older brother is a painter, so he's dialed in. He can't be listening to us goof around while painting beautiful paintings. What about. Well, okay, look, enough of the brothers. How was your Thanksgiving? We had a great one. Best meal we've ever cooked.

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm not.

[Beck Bennett]

It was bomb.

[Kyle Mooney]

Really?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, it was straight up bomb.

[Kyle Mooney]

But you did the work.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah, they're. They.

[Beck Bennett]

They're. They're great cooks, too. We all.

[Kyle Mooney]

All. Everybody contributed.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, it was good.

[Beck Bennett]

So you didn't contribute anything except for an artichoke dip.

[Kyle Mooney]

That's true. Kate made almost everything.

[Richelle Chen]

I can't believe that she made.

[Beck Bennett]

Sorry. Keep going.

[Kyle Mooney]

Husband made mashed potatoes.

[Beck Bennett]

Whose husband did?

[Kyle Mooney]

Kate's cousin's husband, Sonia's husband, Michael.

[Beck Bennett]

Michael made the mashed Potatoes. Yes, Michael did.

[Kyle Mooney]

And Kate certainly invents on her own, but follows a lot of her father's.

[Beck Bennett]

Recipes, and I like to do that as well. I like to follow her father's recipes. Jk. I like to follow my mother's. But we broke with tradition this year. We did three chickens instead of one turkey, and it was incredible.

[Producer or Narrator]

Wow.

[Kyle Mooney]

I still haven't had chicken.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. You've never had chicken?

[Kyle Mooney]

I don't think that's the. Is that the bone?

[Beck Bennett]

It's the bird, yeah. It's like white meat. There's, like, light and dark meat.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes, yes, yes. I feel I have. I may.

[Richelle Chen]

Is that.

[Kyle Mooney]

Is it grilled or.

[Beck Bennett]

It's grilled. It's fried. It's boiled. It's poached. It's. It's roasted. You can cook it many different ways. I feel like I've eaten chicken.

[Kyle Mooney]

Where do they sell it?

[Beck Bennett]

And everywhere.

[Producer or Narrator]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

It's probably the most commonly consumed.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's like steak.

[Beck Bennett]

No.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

It's. It's like a. It's like turkey, but it's smaller.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay. I've had turkey.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, usually once a year at Thanksgiving.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

But you're. Are you. You're. You're genuinely serious? You don't think you've ever had a chicken?

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm trying to pick. I'm trying to pick. That's the. This. With the bone, right?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, it's the. With the bone. It has, like, many bones and.

[Kyle Mooney]

But there are other. Are there other. It's just.

[Beck Bennett]

Why are you looking to them? You can ask me.

[Kyle Mooney]

I feel like Anya has Google and.

[Anya Konovskaya]

What am I Googling?

[Beck Bennett]

Just Google is. It. Is chicken the shit with the bone? Is chicken the shit with the bone?

[Anya Konovskaya]

The first thing that comes up is a Reddit post. Chicken with the bone is disgusting.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay. Yeah, Yeah, I read that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the red one about.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I read that. So. No, I don't.

[Richelle Chen]

Oh, I read that.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. I don't know what chicken is. You can do boneless bone in. It's, like, so many different ways.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah. Thanksgiving was great. We were in New York. It was, you know, it was a little cold, a little rainy. My daughter was little. I don't think she was psyched necessarily to be away from.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, it's hard to travel.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

With kids that age. But I. I do. I'm. Was Kate. Like, I have been in that position of being, like, I want to carry on these traditions. I like to cook a lot. I want to bring this really good.

[Richelle Chen]

Food because like when you get up, when you have.

[Beck Bennett]

When you're at like a Christmas dinner or Thanksgiving dinner and the food isn't that good, you're like, I know how to do this. I want to bring the food that I grew up with. I want to make this a part. Especially when you have a kid, you want to like, have these traditions. So I've done that. And I've then like specifically last year, not this Thanksgiving. Last year at Thanksgiving, I was like, oh, my God, this is so much work.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

It takes me. It's so exhausting. It takes me away from being in the moment. So this year we were really trying to be like, let's try to keep up with tradition, but do as little as possible.

[Kyle Mooney]

Not make it too hard on yourself.

[Beck Bennett]

As easy as possible. Yeah.

[Producer or Narrator]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And it was still a lot. So like Kate doing all that. Was she. Was she just like, oh, God, that was a lot. I don't want to do that again. Or does she have the ability to do that and she feels good about it?

[Kyle Mooney]

I. I don't, I don't want to speak for her.

[Beck Bennett]

Let's give her a call.

[Kyle Mooney]

She's. She. I think she might be sick.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, she's sick. She's tired, and we gotta wrap it up. So you don't want to speak for her, but.

[Kyle Mooney]

But yeah, I think, I think it was. I think she likes. I think. I think she likes doing it. But I think it is, like you said, a lot of work. I think it's. I think both things are true.

[Beck Bennett]

Do you ever cook, like during the week?

[Kyle Mooney]

No, no. You know what I do? I just eat. Like, I'll eat some cheese, some salami.

[Beck Bennett]

And nuts and any vegetables.

[Kyle Mooney]

Sometimes I'll have some pretzels.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Or like, like any carrots.

[Kyle Mooney]

Well, I drink the green juices.

[Beck Bennett]

Right. So you're drinking the juice from the green stuff, but not the. None of the fiber, none of the.

[Kyle Mooney]

I'll have a salad. I won't make it.

[Beck Bennett]

Typically you'll pick it up somewhere and.

[Kyle Mooney]

Sometimes Kay will make a salad. No, you got, you just got to imagine I'm. I'm just chopping up cheese all day.

[Beck Bennett]

Damn. That is what. And, and, and what are. And what? I mean, we've talked about your poop before, but like, what is it?

[Kyle Mooney]

Like, I have great poop. Well, I got. Sometimes I got curly cues, sometimes I got long logs.

[Beck Bennett]

Water logs. Long logs, long thin logs.

[Kyle Mooney]

I've had it all.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Cuz usually what you want is like a wide. But I'll also go, nice Chunky. Like, I mean, like a sausage size.

[Kyle Mooney]

This is like what I normally eat around the house. Right, Right. But when I. If I go out to eat, I will have like a steak or.

[Beck Bennett]

But that.

[Richelle Chen]

But around the house.

[Kyle Mooney]

Some spinach.

[Beck Bennett]

Right, but around the house, it's. So that's like 80% of your meals, I think.

[Kyle Mooney]

I mostly eat little slices of cheese, some salami and nuts.

[Beck Bennett]

Wow. You know.

[Kyle Mooney]

You know what I really like to do? Take crackers and a little Calabrian chili. You know what that is?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, they got.

[Kyle Mooney]

There's a nice oil. You can get canned. It's very spicy. And I just like to put a little crack. Like put that on top of a cracker. And. And I look good.

[Beck Bennett]

You look great. I mean, you look fantastic. Okay, well, we got how long you're gonna live. But I do. I do wanna. I, I wanna. And does Kate cook or is she doing the same thing? She eating cheese and crackers?

[Kyle Mooney]

She cooks sometimes she orders food.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And nothing but respect.

[Kyle Mooney]

Normally.

[Beck Bennett]

She eats normally. Okay. But I do want you to live a long life.

[Kyle Mooney]

You've seen me. Yeah, this is accurate, right?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, this is accurate. But. But you often. But we, you know, we eat a lot of meals at our house.

[Kyle Mooney]

I eat chips.

[Richelle Chen]

I chip.

[Kyle Mooney]

I ate chips today.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, yeah. No, and that works. That's good. So I do want you to start taking creatine, though.

[Kyle Mooney]

I've. There. I. I have been. That has been pitched to me recently.

[Beck Bennett]

Maybe a little psyllium. Psyllium Husky.

[Producer or Narrator]

Okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

Give me a little helium and then.

[Producer or Narrator]

I'll talk like this.

[Richelle Chen]

Honestly, I do think you should.

[Guest or Character voice]

I.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, I know we're wrapping it up, but we're just getting hot. I know we're just getting into an airplane.

[Kyle Mooney]

They throw the wrap up. They're throwing the wrap up five minutes and it's like, we're just getting good.

[Beck Bennett]

Honestly, Maybe we just do this. Maybe we just keep fucking rapping. Dude. We don't pitch our idea for our own podcast.

[Producer or Narrator]

Can you imagine if I had helium and I talk like this all the time.

[Beck Bennett]

I think. I think we should have a helium tank on the ready. Unless. Is it.

[Richelle Chen]

Are there specific health.

[Beck Bennett]

Negative health effects to having helium? Do we.

[Richelle Chen]

Can we Google this real quick?

[Kyle Mooney]

Because can you look up helium?

[Richelle Chen]

Like, instead of like doing.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, be like, ah, you. You said this thing you gotta take. You gotta take some helium and tell us what your favorite. Like your bedtime routine or something. Like somebody.

[Kyle Mooney]

That'd be funny shit.

[Beck Bennett]

You know, that'd be funny shit, dude. And you're like, okay, well, first I.

[Guest or Character voice]

Like to wash my face and then.

[Beck Bennett]

I like to brush my teeth and then I like to read a book.

[Kyle Mooney]

That is funny.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, like, you're in trouble. It's time to suck the helium. Are there any negative health effects?

[Anya Konovskaya]

Yeah, it says although helium is non toxic and inert, it can act as a simple asphyxiant by displacing oxygen in the air to levels below that required to support life.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Anya Konovskaya]

Can cause dizziness, nausea, vomiting, loss of consciousness and death.

[Producer or Narrator]

Yeah.

[Anya Konovskaya]

So don't. We can't do that.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think. But.

[Richelle Chen]

No but I mean, but that's like.

[Kyle Mooney]

Five year olds do it.

[Anya Konovskaya]

Yeah, I think if we're doing it.

[Beck Bennett]

I do it to 5 year olds. I give them the helium, put it in their mouth and be like, that kid's talking like a chipmunk.

[Anya Konovskaya]

Do it here as part of the show.

[Kyle Mooney]

How much does a helium tank cost? It would be fun to have.

[Richelle Chen]

Oh, maybe we do.

[Beck Bennett]

What about nitrous?

[Kyle Mooney]

Nitrous would be funny.

[Beck Bennett]

That would be funny as. Dude, we're like, we're like, we have a guest. Come on. We're like, sorry, it's time to take the helium. And they're like, they're like, I think.

[Producer or Narrator]

We can, I think we can.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think we can ask. I think we can ask before guests come in if they're okay to do the nitrous segment.

[Beck Bennett]

And then, and then like we could do the bag on the head segment with the nitrous. Maybe even do. What was that? Was that stuff you get at Venice Beach? The sort of like, not like, not weed, but you put it, you smoke it like weed and you get like a crazy high.

[Kyle Mooney]

Fuck. Not surfing.

[Beck Bennett]

Not surfing. Alvia, salvia. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Oh, yeah. Have you done poppers?

[Beck Bennett]

I've never done poppers.

[Kyle Mooney]

Oh my gosh.

[Beck Bennett]

You don't poppers.

[Kyle Mooney]

I got an exclusive.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm.

[Kyle Mooney]

I did poppers with the Please don't destroy, guys.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, nice. I didn't know they do poppers at.

[Kyle Mooney]

A birthday party for a very famous person. Whoo. Yo, I was feeling those poppers.

[Beck Bennett]

But what, what is it? What is the high.

[Kyle Mooney]

What is, what is it lasts for set for. Maybe it's a 30 second thing.

[Beck Bennett]

And same with this.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's just like you're like really disoriented.

[Beck Bennett]

It's kind of what like.

[Kyle Mooney]

And you just. And you can get them at gas stations. You do a little stuff. So I recommend any of our listeners or if you're watching the show, go out and get some poppers.

[Beck Bennett]

Don't we're saying. No, we are. We actually are not. Because if we do recommend that, we can talk about it.

[Richelle Chen]

But, you know, we could be kind.

[Beck Bennett]

Of like the Joe Rogan show and, like, because he smokes.

[Richelle Chen]

Right. We can be doing poppers, but it's more about pop. Yeah, man.

[Beck Bennett]

You want to do some poppers? Like, or like the.

[Kyle Mooney]

A lot of people don't actually know, you know, the additive nature of poppers. Because when you are in a popper state.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. The conversation.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, the conversation starts more free flowing and you start free and open.

[Beck Bennett]

You're kind of more tender and loving and.

[Kyle Mooney]

And your butthole.

[Beck Bennett]

And your butthole up. Can you feel your butthole up widen?

[Kyle Mooney]

I couldn't feel it.

[Beck Bennett]

Can you feel it widen?

[Kyle Mooney]

I. I didn't. I couldn't feel it.

[Beck Bennett]

I bet you could. Well, you could, you know.

[Kyle Mooney]

Can we get poppers?

[Anya Konovskaya]

No.

[Richelle Chen]

Can we bring popper?

[Kyle Mooney]

They're. They're. You can get them.

[Guest or Character voice]

Can we bring.

[Beck Bennett]

Can we bring our own poppers in here and do it ourselves without you buying it for us?

[Anya Konovskaya]

Yeah, I don't think head gum can. Can provide you with pop.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

They're legal.

[Beck Bennett]

You can get them at gas stations.

[Anya Konovskaya]

I just don't think that's the issue.

[Beck Bennett]

What's the issue?

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

What is the issue?

[Anya Konovskaya]

Well, it's like, if you're. I don't think we can be, like, responsible for what happens.

[Richelle Chen]

Well, you won't be responsible.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's like a little trippy for a little bit. Just a little poppers.

[Richelle Chen]

Let's do some poppers on the show.

[Beck Bennett]

We're doing poppers on the show.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay.

[Anya Konovskaya]

Do you have a RFK Junior on.

[Kyle Mooney]

Our show that seems controversial?

[Anya Konovskaya]

Well, he's like.

[Kyle Mooney]

He's into poppers.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, we can cut this private.

[Richelle Chen]

I think we should get poppers on the show. I think all children should be doing poppers. Yeah, dude, I did.

[Beck Bennett]

Not an RFK in me.

[Richelle Chen]

No vaccines, just poppers for all the kids.

[Anya Konovskaya]

He's just the head of the cdc, so I was like, he could weigh in.

[Kyle Mooney]

I don't think it's a CDC thing. I think it's just.

[Richelle Chen]

I think it's just kind of a.

[Beck Bennett]

Kyle and Beck thing.

[Kyle Mooney]

I don't think it's like a.

[Guest or Character voice]

It's not a drug.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

It's not like a.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's not like a medicine.

[Beck Bennett]

No, it's just kind of a fun thing.

[Kyle Mooney]

Just like. It's just doing poppers with your friends.

[Richelle Chen]

It's just doing poppers with your friends.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay, well.

[Producer or Narrator]

Okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

Do you have a suggestion for what you think our podcast should be about. So here's how.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Here's. Here's how.

[Kyle Mooney]

Here's my pitch for how we do this.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay.

[Kyle Mooney]

And I know we're running out of time, as these people keep fucking telling us. I'm sorry, that was. I went over the board. I went over the board.

[Beck Bennett]

You went over the board.

[Kyle Mooney]

I think that, like, we both present our ideas and then we have a conversation about it. Maybe about which one we want to do.

[Beck Bennett]

Sure. Mine. I didn't do much work on mine. It was the first thought.

[Kyle Mooney]

I actually wrote two ideas down, to be totally honest.

[Beck Bennett]

I wrote four ideas down that were like, boom, boom, boom, boom.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay, great.

[Beck Bennett]

Should we do all. Should we do our.

[Kyle Mooney]

Potentially bring our producers in on this? How do you want to do it?

[Beck Bennett]

I could just list my. My four off.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay.

[Beck Bennett]

Should I do that or should I. It was like, a first thought, and it was like, these four came off, and I was like, one of those.

[Kyle Mooney]

Can we do. Can we do one at a. Can we go one, one, one, one, and then you do your last two?

[Beck Bennett]

Sure.

[Kyle Mooney]

No, no, no, let's do one, one. My last one is stupid. So can that save me? Save for last?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Brothers.

[Richelle Chen]

Brothers.

[Kyle Mooney]

Great. Birthdays.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. Dads.

[Kyle Mooney]

Dad's great. I want to save mine.

[Beck Bennett]

And I. I have two more.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay. Two. One.

[Beck Bennett]

Family. Family.

[Kyle Mooney]

You're really on a very.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I have different. Different versions of family.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Richelle Chen]

So is family not a lot of variety?

[Beck Bennett]

I.

[Producer or Narrator]

More.

[Beck Bennett]

That's a little bit red.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay, here's my.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, I told you it was, like, one thought thing.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I. I. Yeah, that wasn't.

[Kyle Mooney]

It wasn't clear to me that, yeah, it's just the same thing.

[Guest or Character voice]

No, it's not the same thing.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like.

[Beck Bennett]

I guess family would be.

[Kyle Mooney]

Could be, like, blue, Red colors.

[Beck Bennett]

Hey, you know, there's no wrong answer here, dude. Like, I'm not, like.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, no, no. I'm not, like, scientist, you know, I'm not trying to.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm like a doctor like that.

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm not trying to come after you.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I apologize.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I'm just kind of like a regular guy, just kind of trying to do my thing.

[Kyle Mooney]

So my first pitch was birthdays. Here's my second pitch.

[Beck Bennett]

Really interesting.

[Kyle Mooney]

Ready for my second pitch?

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Producer or Narrator]

All right.

[Kyle Mooney]

The Detective Alexander Bensworth and Charlie Hackle Mystery Hour. An improvised podcast.

[Richelle Chen]

Oh, fuck. Fuck.

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. We're definitely doing that. My other one was house parties.

[Kyle Mooney]

Oh, that's good, too. We don't have the Detective Alexander Bensworth and Charlie Hackle Mystery Hour. An improvised podcast could be difficult.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes, it would be. And it would be like, we would do that. And people would be like, I don't. I don't know if I like these guys. Right.

[Kyle Mooney]

Like, that's a reason not to do it.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, I think it's. It's. I think it could create something really interesting. Wait, it's. What is it again?

[Kyle Mooney]

The Detective Alexander Ben. Detective Alexander Bensworth and Charlie Hackle Mystery Hour, an improvised podcast.

[Richelle Chen]

Okay, I would be Charlie Hackle.

[Kyle Mooney]

Alexander. Oh, I thought you'd be detective, but okay, I'll be Charlie Hackle.

[Beck Bennett]

I think the detective leads it. And you would have to be a detective.

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm Detective Alexander Bensworth. And you're Charlie Hackle.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I'm Charlie Hackle.

[Kyle Mooney]

An improvised podcast.

[Beck Bennett]

I think that that could be the most interesting. I think that scares me the most. I think it could. It definitely has the chance of crashing and burning the most. And it also could be something really exciting. So.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay, well, we'll be coming back with the Detective Alexander Bensworth and Charlie Hackle Mystery Hour, an improvised podcast.

[Producer or Narrator]

All right.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay.

[Richelle Chen]

Just so you know, this episode is brought to you by Viori. I gotta talk to you about my experience with the brand. I love this stuff.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Tell me, baby.

[Richelle Chen]

Dude, I was way ahead of you.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

So money, baby.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah, you're.

[Kyle Mooney]

Thank you, dude.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah, you're so money, baby.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Your money.

[Richelle Chen]

And I feel so many. Baby with the vori, Dude. Because my mom.

[Beck Bennett]

My.

[Richelle Chen]

Wait, no, my mommy didn't buy me some of this. I went to REI when I'm.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Because your mommy don't dance and your daddy don't rock.

[Richelle Chen]

Exactly. You know, my mommy intended, but. No, but for real. Back to Viori. Like, I got these. These shorts, and I was like, dang. I got this. This tank, and, like, it's loose, it's comfy, it gets wet, but then it dries. It's very, very nice to move around in some of the best shorts I've ever had. Yo, the running shorts that you can get wet, but they're not a bathing suit. And then you can. They dry real fast so you can walk in.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Yo, I was curious. What color are they?

[Richelle Chen]

They're blue, and they've kind of got kind of a 70s style. And they're really nice stuff to work out in. And I've been buying more workout pants and shirts and all sorts of stuff like that. I'm looking to sort of explore their other good stuff, too.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Sounds incredibly versatile and comfortable. Perfect for whatever your day brings.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah, it's designed to look great beyond the gym. Whether you're running errands, heading to the office, or meeting up with friends like you and me when we go out. Maybe next time I'll wear vor.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I would love that. And maybe I.

[Kyle Mooney]

And I.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Maybe I could try yours on. Yes.

[Richelle Chen]

Oh, we could try that. You could try my clothes on at the bar. Maybe we could swap clothes. I could. And we could see how good Vori feels compared to your clothes.

[Beck Bennett]

I'd love to do that.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

What should I wear? Or what do you want? What should I wear that you will wear?

[Richelle Chen]

I think you should wear some of your blue jeans and an old rock shirt.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I know the perfect old rock shirt to wear now. Talk about some items you purchased. Like you're kind of already did.

[Richelle Chen]

I already did that. I already like the running shorts that I forget the name of them, but they're really, really good. And the tank top. And I'm getting more stuff too. And I might even get a polo that's.

[Beck Bennett]

That's.

[Richelle Chen]

That can dry.

[Beck Bennett]

Nice.

[Richelle Chen]

So I can play golf in it or something.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Oh, I would love that.

[Kyle Mooney]

You know, I've been.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I've been doing a little jogging, but I'm mostly at the gym. I hit the treadmill. Trying, trying to. Trying to do three miles, but sometimes I just do two miles and you know.

[Richelle Chen]

Would you wear clothes when you go to the gym?

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

They've been asking me to.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Richelle Chen]

So you got to get viori. Yeah, he's gonna be perfect. It's versatile because. Yeah. Effortless wardrobe essentials, dude.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Yeah, because they, they. Everybody's a little. You know, I've been getting some like, crazy looks for being on the treadmill without wearing stuff.

[Kyle Mooney]

But.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah, and they're like, where is Vori? Is that his Vori? No, that's not his Vor.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

That's my. Where were we?

[Richelle Chen]

I think we were talking about the lightweight, relaxed fit of Voria. Oh, it's moisture wicking with four way performance stretch. That's what I was kind of trying to say and why I like them so much. But look, don't be like Kyle and run naked at the gym and get all sorts of complaints. V. Where Vori? It's an investment in your happiness for our listeners. They're offering 20% off your first purchase and enjoy free shipping on any US order. Orders over $75 in free return. Stop k me. Don't make fun of me.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I wasn't making fun of you. I was helping you out. We're a team at God.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, thank you.

[Richelle Chen]

Here we go.

[Beck Bennett]

Ready?

[Richelle Chen]

You take the leave.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Get yourself some of the most comfortable.

[Richelle Chen]

Versatile clothing clothing on the [e-mail] be and Kyle. That's V O R I.com Beck and Kyle. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Richelle Chen]

Vioria.

[Beck Bennett]

Later.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Yeah.

[Richelle Chen]

Fiori around?

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Hang on. Fiori. You did a Viori. Good job.

[Richelle Chen]

Thank you, Beck.

[Beck Bennett]

Thank you too.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Today's episode is brought to you by Alma.

[Richelle Chen]

Yes.

[Beck Bennett]

A year from today, who do you want to be? Kyle or the listeners? What version of yourself?

[Producer or Narrator]

Hercules.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Hercules?

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Richelle Chen]

I wanted you to be Hercules too.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Thank you.

[Richelle Chen]

From the movie the Clump Family. Does that version that you're going to meet the. The Hercules from the Hercules Clump? You're going to be less anxious or you're going to feel more like yourself.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I'll probably be pretty anxious because all of a sudden I'm a clump.

[Beck Bennett]

I hear you, brother.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Hercules. Hercules.

[Richelle Chen]

I don't know what Hercules is going through.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Ask me the question again. Ask me the question again.

[Beck Bennett]

A year from today, who do you want to be?

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I want to be confident. I want to be happy with who I am and the people I surround myself with.

[Richelle Chen]

That's great.

[Beck Bennett]

So that's the version of yourself you'd like to meet. You want to feel less anxious, right? Yeah. You want to feel more like yourself.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I get very anxious.

[Richelle Chen]

What if that thing you've been secretly.

[Beck Bennett]

Worried about just took up less space in your mind?

[Kyle Mooney]

I would love that.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

There's so much stuff I worry about that I'm so obsessive about. And if I could sort of just spend less time focusing on that so that I could be in the present and, you know, I'm thinking about these things that I'm so that. Like, I feel like this is an emergency or something like that, but it's like I don't think it actually is. Do you know what I mean?

[Beck Bennett]

Okay. I know.

[Richelle Chen]

I feel you. The less. The less thought you give something, the less space it takes up in your mind.

[Beck Bennett]

The right therapist can help you with that, Kyle. Okay.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I believe that I've had some good ones.

[Beck Bennett]

I'll help you find that therapist. I've had some. I've had one really good one. But Alma has a directory of 20,000.

[Richelle Chen]

Therapists with different specialties like.

[Beck Bennett]

Like.

[Richelle Chen]

And life experiences and identities.

[Beck Bennett]

And 99% of them take insurance. Did you know that?

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I didn't. I actually know the other 1% and they are. They're nice people too.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah, they're really good.

[Beck Bennett]

They're doing their.

[Richelle Chen]

They're Doing their best. But look you.

[Kyle Mooney]

They don't want to take the insurance.

[Guest or Character voice]

But they're still nice people.

[Richelle Chen]

They do things a little differently. You deserve to feel like that future vers of yourself. Kyle, a year from today isn't that far away. It started.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Now it's a whole new year and another. We're already talking about another year.

[Beck Bennett]

I know, just.

[Richelle Chen]

But at the end.

[Beck Bennett]

We're talking about at the end of 2026. So still within this year, but like December 31st.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah. You can be a whole. You can be that version of yourself that you want. I. I promise you. No, you got to get started right now@hello Alma.com our podcast. That's hello Alma.com O U R P O D C A S T. I.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Really might go on Alma right after this and. And try to figure some of this stuff out.

[Beck Bennett]

I really think you should.

[Richelle Chen]

I think it'd be good for the podcast and our relationship.

[Beck Bennett]

I really would like for you to just.

[Kyle Mooney]

Can I.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Can I insert one more thing?

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hercules.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Hercules.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, man.

[Richelle Chen]

That's the real Kyle.

[Beck Bennett]

I want to help you get there.

[Producer or Narrator]

Good evening, sleuths.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's me, Detective Alexander Bensworth, along with my trusty sidekick, Charlie Hackle.

[Guest or Character voice]

Good to see you as always, Detective.

[Kyle Mooney]

Good to see you too, Charlie.

[Guest or Character voice]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

We invite you, if you're settled listeners, to join us on another. I'm hungry, Charlie. I left some bread back in the cupboard.

[Guest or Character voice]

Oh, be right back.

[Producer or Narrator]

Well, he's going to eat his bread.

[Guest or Character voice]

Not that much over here. Is that bright somewhere else?

[Producer or Narrator]

Who are you talking to, Charlie?

[Guest or Character voice]

I'm talking to you from the other room.

[Producer or Narrator]

I don't know that we can hear you, Charlie.

[Guest or Character voice]

I didn't see that much bread in there.

[Producer or Narrator]

How much bread were you looking for?

[Guest or Character voice]

A couple loaves. Two loaves to be.

[Beck Bennett]

Exactly.

[Producer or Narrator]

You have to go downstairs into the basement.

[Kyle Mooney]

There's more bread down there.

[Guest or Character voice]

Too far. I'll stay here. Sorry to interrupt. I got. I had a little bit. I'll be fine for.

[Producer or Narrator]

I can take you to the bread in a bit.

[Guest or Character voice]

Little it. Thank you, Detective.

[Producer or Narrator]

No problem, Charlie.

[Guest or Character voice]

It's all right to interrupt.

[Producer or Narrator]

As I was saying. Welcome, Sleuth, to another episode of the Detective Alexander Bensworth and Charlie Hacko Mystery Hour.

[Kyle Mooney]

In tonight's episode, we take you.

[Producer or Narrator]

To a very dark and mysterious place.

[Guest or Character voice]

Oh.

[Kyle Mooney]

As Charlie and I go searching for.

[Producer or Narrator]

The elusive Mundarian diamond.

[Guest or Character voice]

Oh, yeah, I remember that. That was a. That was scary. Yes.

[Producer or Narrator]

Make sure you're settled, everybody.

[Guest or Character voice]

And make sure you have plenty of snacks. You don't want to be getting hungry.

[Kyle Mooney]

Make sure you're settled.

[Guest or Character voice]

Yes, because.

[Producer or Narrator]

Because we're about to tell the story of the Mundarian Diamond.

[Guest or Character voice]

And if you have any potty that you need to take care of, go do it now because you don't want to be wetting your pants and shitting the couch. Wet A fear. That's something I've done many times, Detective.

[Producer or Narrator]

Now, I've noticed, Charlie, I'm always clean.

[Kyle Mooney]

Up your messes, as it were.

[Producer or Narrator]

But on this specific night, I had.

[Kyle Mooney]

To clean up somebody else's mess.

[Producer or Narrator]

A young lady by the name of Eleanor du Lolly. A wealthy. A wealthy woman who lived close by.

[Kyle Mooney]

Who had quite a spark to her, quite an energy.

[Producer or Narrator]

I spotted her immediately. Why, hello, miss.

[Kyle Mooney]

Off for a walk?

[Guest or Character voice]

Oh, yes, I am off for a walk.

[Producer or Narrator]

Ah.

[Guest or Character voice]

I've got this energy that I can't. I just needed to get out of the house.

[Producer or Narrator]

You seem like you're in quite a hurry.

[Guest or Character voice]

Oh, no, just. Just trying to get a little walk in after dinner. I. I must be going. I'm in a hurry.

[Producer or Narrator]

Well, take care of yourself.

[Kyle Mooney]

Wait.

[Guest or Character voice]

No, wait.

[Kyle Mooney]

What?

[Guest or Character voice]

Just take a deep breath. I'm not in a hurry.

[Producer or Narrator]

Everything's fine. Oh, well, would you like to join.

[Kyle Mooney]

Charlie and I for a bite to eat?

[Guest or Character voice]

We're going to get some bread.

[Producer or Narrator]

Oh, he's quite. He's quite stupid.

[Beck Bennett]

Smelly.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes, Charlie.

[Producer or Narrator]

Yes, we only.

[Kyle Mooney]

We only allow Charlie in the bathing chambers On.

[Producer or Narrator]

On the. On the Fortnite.

[Guest or Character voice]

Sometimes I like to get out and go for a wee bit of a nibble.

[Kyle Mooney]

Calm down, Charlie.

[Producer or Narrator]

As you can see, it's quite hard.

[Guest or Character voice]

He's about as big down there as he is out here.

[Producer or Narrator]

Yes.

[Guest or Character voice]

If you know what I mean.

[Producer or Narrator]

He's three. He's. He's. He's eight inches tall and I'm about.

[Guest or Character voice]

Eight inches in my pants. Mother always said, as big as I am wide. As big as I am tall.

[Kyle Mooney]

Excuse me, miss.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes?

[Producer or Narrator]

Something just fell out of your purse.

[Richelle Chen]

Oh, yeah, it's nothing.

[Producer or Narrator]

Well, shiny.

[Richelle Chen]

I must be going. I'm in trouble, you see.

[Guest or Character voice]

I have something that I shouldn't have.

[Producer or Narrator]

Fine. Get off with you then.

[Guest or Character voice]

Clip. Clip, clip, clip.

[Producer or Narrator]

That was odd, Charlie. Wasn't that.

[Guest or Character voice]

That was really weird. She had something.

[Producer or Narrator]

Settle down, Charlie. You're still beaming out the seams from your hard erection.

[Guest or Character voice]

I can't help it.

[Producer or Narrator]

Was it her?

[Guest or Character voice]

Yes, it was, actually. I think it was a shiny thing that fell out of her.

[Producer or Narrator]

It looked familiar.

[Beck Bennett]

Yes.

[Kyle Mooney]

Perhaps we should go see the professor.

[Guest or Character voice]

I think we should. I'll go see The Professor. You wait right here, Detective.

[Beck Bennett]

Why?

[Guest or Character voice]

I just want to talk to. I'll relay what the professor tells me.

[Producer or Narrator]

No problem. But it seems. But the clouds are. The clouds are forming. I might catch a drop of rain. Don't worry. I'll hide underneath this. I'll hide underneath this roof. I'm safe. I'm safe. Now go on, Charlie.

[Kyle Mooney]

Fine.

[Guest or Character voice]

Wait.

[Producer or Narrator]

Oh, wait. You want me to come back to you?

[Guest or Character voice]

No, no. Wait right there. I'll go get the Professor.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay.

[Guest or Character voice]

Knock, knock, knock.

[Producer or Narrator]

Excuse me. It is 4:30 in the morning. Wait, wait. What are you doing here? Oh, scribe is how you stop over.

[Beck Bennett]

And over at work.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Watch this.

[Producer or Narrator]

Sorry, my nothing.

[Kyle Mooney]

I.

[Producer or Narrator]

Professor, if you aren't aware, scribe is something that helps you move over and over. It's a new product I'm working on.

[Guest or Character voice]

Sounds interesting, Professor. I don't know much about that.

[Producer or Narrator]

Yes, well, I'm always tinkering with my new products.

[Guest or Character voice]

Well, maybe you can help me with the mystery.

[Producer or Narrator]

Absolutely. Absolutely. Wait.

[Beck Bennett]

Fuck.

[Producer or Narrator]

What are.

[Kyle Mooney]

The.

[Producer or Narrator]

Professor. What are you doing here, Professor?

[Guest or Character voice]

I'm here on behalf of Detective Alexander Bensworth.

[Producer or Narrator]

Oh, Bensworth. That incompetent fool. He owes me sixpence.

[Guest or Character voice]

Well, if he solves this case, he might have your money. We ran into a lady. I got rock hard and something shiny.

[Richelle Chen]

Fell out of her.

[Kyle Mooney]

Hmm.

[Producer or Narrator]

Can you describe it any further?

[Guest or Character voice]

It was shiny.

[Producer or Narrator]

Shiny and shaped with six points.

[Guest or Character voice]

It actually did.

[Producer or Narrator]

With a small emerald center. Yes. What you are describing has not been seen in years. Where was this lady? You must bring her to me now.

[Guest or Character voice]

She ran away.

[Producer or Narrator]

Were you hot?

[Guest or Character voice]

Yes. She saw how big I was and ran.

[Producer or Narrator]

Well, you're so tiny. And the fact that your. Well, your member is almost as long as you. I could understand that why she ran away.

[Richelle Chen]

Yes.

[Producer or Narrator]

By the way, why are you so tiny?

[Guest or Character voice]

I stopped growing.

[Producer or Narrator]

Okay, that answers that.

[Guest or Character voice]

I stopped. I was only eating cheese. Mama stopped feeding me.

[Producer or Narrator]

Whatever. Take me to the detective. We must find this lady. That's the Mundorian diamond.

[Guest or Character voice]

Oh, and there must be a reason why we have to find it. Because if it gets into the wrong hands, something could go maybe wrong or something.

[Producer or Narrator]

The entire world would go upside down. You see, there are powers that be that no mortal understands here in jolly old Elm. Elmsworth.

[Richelle Chen]

Oh.

[Producer or Narrator]

If that diamond were to fall into.

[Kyle Mooney]

The hands of somebody like say, Rocky Toad.

[Producer or Narrator]

Rocky Toad. We could all be in trouble. Take me to the detective.

[Guest or Character voice]

Okay. Come with me. Detective. Detective. I've got the professor.

[Producer or Narrator]

Charlie. It's good to see you.

[Guest or Character voice]

It's good to see you, Professor.

[Producer or Narrator]

As you can see, I'm drenched.

[Guest or Character voice]

I thought you found a nice drawer to sit in.

[Producer or Narrator]

There was a hole in the roof. Enough of this talk. I don't care. You, detective.

[Guest or Character voice]

Oh, no, professor.

[Producer or Narrator]

Just find the diamond and make sure you say this. Come with me. The shine. Come with the.

[Guest or Character voice]

What is it, professor? Detective, did you hear what he said?

[Producer or Narrator]

Yes.

[Guest or Character voice]

We need to find the crystal.

[Producer or Narrator]

But the. But we didn't hear the last word.

[Guest or Character voice]

I think he was just repeating, come with the shine.

[Producer or Narrator]

Come with the. You think it's just shine again at the end?

[Guest or Character voice]

I think so. I think he was just.

[Producer or Narrator]

We must find the lady. Remind me her name.

[Guest or Character voice]

I think it was Geraldine Dubois.

[Producer or Narrator]

No, try again.

[Guest or Character voice]

Jennifer Yor.

[Producer or Narrator]

Does anyone in the audience remember the name of the lady?

[Anya Konovskaya]

We'll put it in right here.

[Producer or Narrator]

Eleanor Dulloli.

[Kyle Mooney]

There it is. Let's find her.

[Guest or Character voice]

Anybody seen this lady?

[Richelle Chen]

Not me.

[Guest or Character voice]

Anybody seen this lady?

[Producer or Narrator]

Piss off.

[Guest or Character voice]

Anybody seen this lady? Oh, who, me?

[Kyle Mooney]

It's you.

[Richelle Chen]

Detective.

[Producer or Narrator]

What? Show us what's in your purse.

[Beck Bennett]

It's.

[Guest or Character voice]

It was right here. I swear it was here.

[Beck Bennett]

Wait.

[Richelle Chen]

Oh, it's right. Oh, no, it's.

[Guest or Character voice]

It was. I put it in this pocket right here.

[Beck Bennett]

This is it.

[Producer or Narrator]

Let me touch that. Wait. The six points. The emerald in the middle.

[Kyle Mooney]

But there's.

[Producer or Narrator]

Go ahead, shoot me.

[Guest or Character voice]

What were you going to say?

[Kyle Mooney]

I was going to say come.

[Guest or Character voice]

I'm coming.

[Producer or Narrator]

Shine with me. Come shine without.

[Richelle Chen]

Ah.

[Guest or Character voice]

Oh, my God. The lady exploded.

[Kyle Mooney]

How's everybody doing?

[Producer or Narrator]

I'm Bill Clinton.

[Richelle Chen]

Oh, my God.

[Guest or Character voice]

My hero.

[Producer or Narrator]

I just wanted to say I did.

[Kyle Mooney]

Not have sexual relations with that woman.

[Producer or Narrator]

But.

[Richelle Chen]

But I did, baby. Yeah, baby, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Oh.

[Richelle Chen]

Cause I was horny, baby.

[Guest or Character voice]

Austin Powers, Bill Clinton.

[Kyle Mooney]

And guess who else is here. Me. Jack Nicholson. We can't thank you guys enough for.

[Producer or Narrator]

Finding the mundorian diamond.

[Guest or Character voice]

Well, you're welcome. What are you gonna do with it, Jack?

[Kyle Mooney]

That's for me to find out and for you to. And that's for you to find out and for me to take care of When I see you in next week's episode of detective. Alexander Bensworth and Charlie ackle mystery hour.

[Guest or Character voice]

Mr. Mr. Nicholson, real quick, one thing.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

What?

[Guest or Character voice]

What?

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, what is it, kid? Tell me.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Well, just go ahead.

[Richelle Chen]

Ask me anything.

[Guest or Character voice]

You're one of the best. Like, one of the best movie stars ever. Like, truly one of the last one of the best.

[Kyle Mooney]

It's nice to hear, but I got.

[Producer or Narrator]

People to see in places to go.

[Guest or Character voice]

Probably going to the Lakers or something.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

I got front row tickets.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah, I'm going with my best buddy.

[Richelle Chen]

Who?

[Producer or Narrator]

Adam sandler. We were in anger Management.

[Guest or Character voice]

Ah, that's quite a life to live. Well, I'm glad we could be solving the world's mysteries so you guys can live a nice life in Hollywood. I'm up. And did you know I'm about as wide as I am tall.

[Producer or Narrator]

Charlie the penny.

[Guest or Character voice]

Mr. Nicholson, I need a snack.

[Kyle Mooney]

Ms. Nicholson, we appreciate you.

[Producer or Narrator]

Mr. Mr. President, of course. Always a pleasure.

[Kyle Mooney]

And.

[Producer or Narrator]

Austin Powers.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, baby.

[Producer or Narrator]

I. I imagine I'll be seeing you later with. At. At the.

[Beck Bennett]

At the Pussycat Club.

[Producer or Narrator]

Pussycat Club. But for now, Charlie and I must retreat. I have a. I have a friend who here who's in dire need of some bread.

[Guest or Character voice]

I need my bread. Let's go eat some nibbles of bread. Detective, it's always fun hanging out with you.

[Producer or Narrator]

Okay, come on. Come downstairs with me. Here's where like we keep more of the bread.

[Guest or Character voice]

Oh, look at them loaves.

[Kyle Mooney]

Can't wait to have it. Chad.

[Producer or Narrator]

Well, Sleuths, it seems we've reached the end of our journey. A real mystery with twists and turns. Will them. And we've managed to keep them and Darian diamond gluten free bread. Give me one moment.

[Guest or Character voice]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna be on the toilet for hours.

[Producer or Narrator]

Let me. Let me take you to the toilet.

[Guest or Character voice]

Sorry, Finish the outro.

[Producer or Narrator]

No, no, no. We could do it at the toilet. Okay.

[Guest or Character voice]

Oh, God, Detective, not gluten free bread. It's not good in the tummy. This the type of wheat. It's not good.

[Kyle Mooney]

Make any specific dietary requests?

[Producer or Narrator]

You just said you wanted bread.

[Guest or Character voice]

Oh, I'm about to split wide open. Oh, just wait for it.

[Producer or Narrator]

I'm waiting.

[Guest or Character voice]

Just go.

[Kyle Mooney]

Let me do the outro after you go.

[Guest or Character voice]

No, do the outro. It'll relax me. Do the outro.

[Producer or Narrator]

I feel like you're going to interrupt the outro.

[Guest or Character voice]

I'm sure I won't. I'm sure it'll come right after the outro.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay, here we go.

[Producer or Narrator]

Thank you again. Okay.

[Guest or Character voice]

Oh, thank you. All right, now. I'm totally.

[Beck Bennett]

I'm sure.

[Kyle Mooney]

I'm totally.

[Producer or Narrator]

Are you sure you're good? You sure you don't have any more to get out?

[Guest or Character voice]

So there's nothing left in me.

[Kyle (guest or co-host, possibly Kyle Mooney or another Kyle)]

Okay.

[Producer or Narrator]

Okay, here we go. There we go.

[Kyle Mooney]

Are we rolling? Okay.

[Producer or Narrator]

I want to thank you.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay, give me one.

[Producer or Narrator]

Are you sure you're done?

[Guest or Character voice]

I can't be sure.

[Producer or Narrator]

Okay, then let's go ahead. Do it. We can take a break.

[Guest or Character voice]

I'm good. I'll hold it. I'm holding it.

[Producer or Narrator]

Okay. I want to thank you sleuths again for joining Me. Sorry I screwed that up. Go now. Because I stepped over my words a bit. Just great. Okay, here we go.

[Guest or Character voice]

All right, now I'll hold it.

[Producer or Narrator]

Okay, thank you, Sleuths. I want to thank you again for joining me on what might be one of our most mysterious evenings yet. It's always. Go ahead and let it out.

[Kyle Mooney]

Just let it out.

[Producer or Narrator]

Oh, are you done?

[Guest or Character voice]

I think so, sir.

[Producer or Narrator]

Okay, I'm just gonna try to get out very fast.

[Guest or Character voice]

Go real quick, sir.

[Producer or Narrator]

Go very quickly. I want to thank you, Sleuth, again for joining me. The Detective. Shit, I fucked up.

[Richelle Chen]

Oh, no.

[Producer or Narrator]

Go, go, go again. Okay, I'm gonna go very fast.

[Kyle Mooney]

All right, Go fast, sir.

[Beck Bennett]

Go fast.

[Producer or Narrator]

You can do it, Sleuths. Thank you again for joining me, Detectives Alexander Bensworth on the Detective Alexander Bensworth. And say your fucking name one more time.

[Guest or Character voice]

We have to get a perfect.

[Producer or Narrator]

Sir, it's not usable.

[Guest or Character voice]

Okay, go, go, go. I'm holding it.

[Producer or Narrator]

Okay. Okay. Are you ready? Do you want to get something out a little bit first?

[Guest or Character voice]

Just a little.

[Kyle Mooney]

Okay.

[Producer or Narrator]

All right. Evening, Sluice. Thank you again for joining me, Detective Alexander Bensworth. I'm the Detective Alexander Bensworth and Charlie Hackle Mystery Hour, an improvised podcast.

[Guest or Character voice]

Podcast. Oh, sir, you nailed it.

[Producer or Narrator]

This week's episode was brought to you by.

[Guest or Character voice]

My Butthole.

[Producer or Narrator]

You can find My Butthole in all participating.

[Kyle Mooney]

Supermarket stores.

[Producer or Narrator]

My Butthole comes with. Comes with whole curlicues, big long ones, log ones, and Are we ready for this party? Guests are on their way, and food and drinks were just delivered.

[Kyle Mooney]

And green and brown strings.

[Producer or Narrator]

As always. Thank you for listening. This episode was produced by Travis and.

[Kyle Mooney]

Jason Kelsey and their wives.

[Producer or Narrator]

And their wives.

[Kyle Mooney]

All right, we are back. Our very first episode, just the two.

[Beck Bennett]

Of us, where no guest. No guest. So we can talk about the whole episode.

[Kyle Mooney]

Well, over the podcast with our podcast.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Do you want. Is there anything you want to.

[Richelle Chen]

How.

[Kyle Mooney]

How. I am curious how you felt like just being us.

[Beck Bennett]

I felt great. It was. I was saying it. It was. We did the first part where we were, like, around and being silly, and that was fun. But then it was nice to just get into a longer conversation and find funny things where we didn't feel the pressure. Do something funny and just kind of like, very casually, which, like, I. You know, it's the fear of being mundane and not creating anything.

[Kyle Mooney]

Right.

[Beck Bennett]

Actually entertaining is. There's like a fear of, like, this is nothing. But I think when you allow yourself to just kind of like, start talking and in theory, slowly, you just.

[Kyle Mooney]

You'll find stuff within that.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Versus, like, us starting with, like, starting at a 10. Like. Yeah, yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

But it's kind of hard not to start that way sometimes.

[Kyle Mooney]

Well, it does. The purpose, I think it serves. That's helpful. And I'm sure I've said this before, is that it is an energy builder.

[Producer or Narrator]

It warm.

[Kyle Mooney]

It does, actually. I know you were doing warm ups.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

But just that thing is sort of warming us up, probably. You know what I mean? Just like, being weird.

[Beck Bennett]

Being weird. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

But I can also get how it's like, it's hidden. Hit or miss.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. But the podcast within a podcast. Detective Barnsworth, Alexander Bensworth and Charlie Hackle, that was very. It was very fun.

[Kyle Mooney]

We are bad. We're bad at, like, that style we've never done. It's just like, classic. I think that's what improvisers, like, do. Right. Like, there are people who do that and are good at it.

[Beck Bennett]

Like, specifically, like a mystery or like a radio play.

[Kyle Mooney]

No, I mean, but they're. I mean, like, there are people who do, like, make, you know, they do a movie. Yeah, we have friends who do, like, a play, right?

[Beck Bennett]

Yes. Yes. Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

But, yeah, genre and I think, you.

[Beck Bennett]

Know, like a narrative structure.

[Producer or Narrator]

We would. Did.

[Kyle Mooney]

We did this in college. We would do, like, make a movie and like, you know, get a genre and it'd be romantic comedy or mystery.

[Beck Bennett]

Right.

[Kyle Mooney]

But yeah, as you were saying. You already said. You were said. You said this off mic. But, like, we don't.

[Beck Bennett]

We don't know. Yeah, we don't know how.

[Kyle Mooney]

There was no. And it's my. I. I knew that I would be bad at leading it, but.

[Beck Bennett]

No, you're a lot better than I would have been, I think. But you were like, let's just lean into the stupid part of it.

[Kyle Mooney]

There was no mystery. It's like the lady immediately has the diamond. It's not like we were trying to find the diamond and then we just, like, learned that the diamond is important and then we find her again.

[Beck Bennett]

Well, you know, it was. But the music was really helpful.

[Kyle Mooney]

The music was good.

[Richelle Chen]

That's the thing.

[Beck Bennett]

We have to have the music.

[Kyle Mooney]

And I. As an. As a listener or as a. If you're watching or listening, like, I don't know what your experience was, but I think, like, for myself and I think you probably felt similarly. Like, just hearing the music was, like, funny to me.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah, I agree. Like, saying anything to the music.

[Kyle Mooney]

So, like, it might. It might come off so bad to you all.

[Beck Bennett]

But hearing the music, if you were.

[Kyle Mooney]

Here and like, you're just Listening to music. It is. It's. It brings you into that world in a funny way.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Like, if we didn't have the music, I think we may have relied more. Yeah. But I think. I do think that, like, I do think, like, if we didn't have the music and we just had to focus on what we were saying and the plot and we weren't just laughing at, like, saying certain things with the music in the background, we might have come up with a better story. And it might not have been as stupid, but I don't think it would have been as funny.

[Kyle Mooney]

You're right.

[Producer or Narrator]

You're.

[Kyle Mooney]

And we're playing to the drama of the music. And you know what I think we did discover too is like, again, we weren't. I don't know if I'll ever listen to this episode. Right.

[Richelle Chen]

But was.

[Kyle Mooney]

Was making me laugh. And I think our producers was that bit at the very end where.

[Producer or Narrator]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

And I'm just trying to outro the thing like that. I do think there's humor in that. The idea that, like, these guys have a mystery podcast, but, like, just like introing and outroing the show is like.

[Beck Bennett]

The most difficult snack it could have.

[Kyle Mooney]

Just about the like, mystery itself itself.

[Beck Bennett]

It's like, it's just like trying to put on the show.

[Anya Konovskaya]

Address for any listener that we didn't realize it was going to play for ads during the.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yes. Okay. So there are ad.

[Producer or Narrator]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

We were.

[Producer or Narrator]

We.

[Kyle Mooney]

Before we started recording that podcast within a podcast episode. The Detective Bensworth and Charlie Hack Mystery Hour. Charlie Hack Hackle. Mystery mystery. We were like, oh, we should get some music. And so we like all pitched on some. Some terms to look up and we landed on some YouTube video.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Which was like mystery suspense music. For board games.

[Beck Bennett]

For board games. But, like, that won't play during the episode. Right. We can avoid that. I think you gotta keep it up.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Producer or Narrator]

That's why.

[Kyle Mooney]

That's what we're explaining to the audience right now that there are ads that we weren't expecting. That's why there's like a random person talking about Scribe's AI, which I couldn't fully tell what that person was saying. And I was trying to react to it.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah.

[Kyle Mooney]

Did you guys, like, click path? Did you skip it or something? Because we weren't even getting full ads.

[Anya Konovskaya]

Skipping the ads.

[Kyle Mooney]

I see. Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

I gotta say, Bill Clinton coming in was really fun. I think you made the right move there to.

[Kyle Mooney]

It wasn't the best Bill. Like, it wasn't the best Bill Clinton.

[Beck Bennett]

My Austin Powers was awful.

[Kyle Mooney]

And my Jack Nicholson started off cold, but I was happy with where my Jack Nicholson ended up. I wasn't very happy with my sandler, who, by the way, we've met and we all love.

[Beck Bennett]

We all understood who it was.

[Kyle Mooney]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And I. But again, I think it was the. It's not about doing it right. It's about how you do it.

[Kyle Mooney]

Thanks.

[Beck Bennett]

And we had a lot of fun.

[Kyle Mooney]

Well, what about you? What about his RFK today?

[Beck Bennett]

Oh, thank you. Yeah. Thank you.

[Kyle Mooney]

Incredible.

[Beck Bennett]

Very good.

[Richelle Chen]

Thank you very much, Kyle.

[Kyle Mooney]

So I'm.

[Producer or Narrator]

If.

[Kyle Mooney]

If any of you Rockos out there want more Detective Bensworth and Charlie Hackle Mystery Hour episodes, tell your friends, let us know. And I don't know, maybe someday we can start some sort of podcast situation where we do sort of requests or, like, kind of like little side quests.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

And we. We could build out the world and the characters, and then we could actually get some real. Real mysteries going on.

[Producer or Narrator]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. It could be something really scary and interesting. That's exciting.

[Kyle Mooney]

Charlie Hackle, maybe we spent a little.

[Producer or Narrator]

Maybe.

[Kyle Mooney]

And I consider my fault. I spent a little too much time on his height and.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. And his penis size.

[Kyle Mooney]

But I did like the idea, I guess, that he was, like, only like, seven or eight inches tall.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah. And he's. Yeah. Yeah. I did, too. He's a little guy.

[Kyle Mooney]

He's got feet.

[Beck Bennett]

He's got feet. Only. Only when he. Only when he gets excited. Then he's a real shower, not a real grower. Not a shower. Yeah.

[Richelle Chen]

It.

[Beck Bennett]

All the science is the science.

[Kyle Mooney]

And we want to apologize for only making the same references to body parts over and over.

[Beck Bennett]

Yeah. Yeah. For our audience. We'll try to get into more body parts and stuff and switch it up. Yeah. All right, well, first solo episode. Rocco's Unite. We love you.

[Kyle Mooney]

Have a great day or evening.

[Richelle Chen]

Yeah.

[Beck Bennett]

Bye.

[Kyle Mooney]

What's Our Podcast is a Headgun podcast created and hosted by Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney.

[Beck Bennett]

The show is produced and engineered by Richelle Chen and Anya Konovskaya with production support from Ali Khan, Ryan Lutzow.

[Kyle Mooney]

Our executive producer is Anya Kanefskaya. Katie Moose is our VP of content at Headgum. Our theme music is made by us.

[Beck Bennett]

For more podcasts by headgum, visit headcum.com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Kyle Mooney]

That was a Headgum podcast.