A Mother-Daughter Conversation: AD and Her Mom Jacqueline Get Real About Motherhood

Summary

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Podcast Summary: A Mother-Daughter Conversation: AD and Her Mom Jacqueline Get Real About Motherhood

Podcast: What’s the Reality?
Host: Amber Desiree (AD), "Love Is Blind" & "Perfect Match" Alum
Guest: Jacqueline (AD’s Mom)
Date: October 8, 2025

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Main Theme & Episode Overview

This heartfelt and unfiltered episode of What’s the Reality? features a vulnerable, celebratory, and often hilarious mother-daughter conversation between host Amber Desiree (AD) and her mother, Jacqueline. The two get candid about the realities of motherhood—past, present, and future—discussing reality TV, intergenerational parenting, family, legacy, and the expectations and surprises of raising strong Black women. The episode’s central thread is love, mutual admiration, and how visibility—on TV and behind the scenes—shapes their family’s story.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Stepping Into the Spotlight as Mother and Daughter

• Amber introduces her mom as her "biggest fan" and references Jacqueline's iconic cameo on Love Is Blind Season 6.

  • “If one of my videos has 1 million views, it's because she's watched it 1 million times.” (Amber, 01:32)
  • “Breakout star, holding it down..." (Jacqueline, 01:56)

• Jacqueline shares what it was like to support Amber’s unpredictable life choices, including joining a reality show.

  • "If I'm like, 'Hey, mom, tomorrow I'm going to the moon,' you'd be like, yeah, that tracks. That makes sense." (Amber, 03:33)

2. Reacting to Reality TV and Love Is Blind

• Jacqueline was supportive but confused about the premise of Love Is Blind at first.
  • “Wait, you're gonna meet somebody?...you're gonna marry them and then potentially marry. Potentially marry them. And I just kept saying, well, wait, how does that work?” (Jacqueline, 03:00)
• She expresses surprise at how authentic filming felt, sharing respect for the production team and their care for participants.
  • “I thought that you would sit there and they would say, okay, wait, now you got to do this, or turn this way or whatever. And it was real. And I was just like, okay, we're doing this.” (Jacqueline, 04:25)

3. Family Bonds & Legacy

• Discussion of Jacqueline's extensive family (seven children, several grandchildren) and pride in her role as a matriarch.

• The pair reflect on the special milestone of Amber, the “first girl,” having her own first girl, and making family history together.

  • “I prayed for you, because we had two boys first.” (Jacqueline, 08:20)
  • “As the oldest girl, you have set a great example for your sisters and your nieces and actually all of us.” (Jacqueline, 08:41)

• Amber cherishes the chance to preserve family memories for her soon-to-be-born daughter.

  • “…the fact that, like, we have these moments that are, like, immortalized, and we get to have that forever…” (Amber, 05:28)

4. Childhood, Race, and Resilience

• Jacqueline and Amber reflect on Amber being the only Black girl in many of her communities, and the unique challenges and pride that came with that.

  • “There was nobody like us. And some days, coming home from school, we'd have to stop the car, pull over, have a little talk…” (Jacqueline, 16:18)

• Amber’s childhood described as driven, creative, and precocious:

  • “I was pretty perfect…you were the best daughter. First daughter that anyone could ask for.” (Amber/Jacqueline, 17:03)
  • “Like when you were ... three, you were already taking dance classes, singing...” (Jacqueline, 09:30; see also performing arts anecdotes, 28:05–29:20)

5. Motherhood: The Real Experience

• Jacqueline gets vulnerable about her initial fears becoming a mom:

  • “I was scared because I kept saying, someone is gonna stop me and take the baby…” (Jacqueline, 10:36)
  • On new-mom surprises: “No one told me about, like, the breastfeeding or trying to find a babysitter that you can trust, and then working two jobs…” (Jacqueline, 18:04)

• She asserts the importance of trial and error:

  • “If they fail at something, let them fail, because then they'll know to try again. But if you stop them, then they're stuck, you know?” (Jacqueline, 17:48)

• Warns against perfectionism and superhero expectations:

  • “I don't even think it's fair being called a superwoman...You just want to be yourself.” (Jacqueline, 18:38)

• Advice for Amber as a mother:

  • “Take in all the information that you can, like, as if it's a sponge. Squeeze out what you don't need. Don't listen to what everyone's going to tell you, because everybody's process is different...” (Jacqueline, 20:16)

  • “And if you should Fail or fall, you'll never hit the ground because I'm right there. You'll never, ever, ever.” (Jacqueline, 21:11)

6. Parenting Style, Confidence, and Ambition

• Jacqueline’s philosophy: commit fully—is instilled in Amber from performance to career.

  • “If you're gonna do it, do it full and do it. And that's always been like, that's how I became Patriots cheerleader…” (Amber, 29:52)
  • “If you think it, you see it, you can do it, period. You make it happen for yourself.” (Jacqueline, 31:29)

• Amber credits her mom: "You gave me the confidence." (Amber, 31:49)

• Jacqueline reflects:

  • “Sometimes you just need somebody to bring it out or let you know. But I don't take any credit for anything that you do. It was already inside of you. You just did it.” (Jacqueline, 31:35)

7. Intergenerational Matriarchal Support

• Jacqueline emphasizes collective support, both spiritual and practical, for Amber and her forthcoming child.
  • “Even when I am not here on this planet...but when I'm not here, I'm still here. My mom, your and Beatrice and my grandma, we all got you. And way before that. And then on top of that, your siblings are right there…” (Jacqueline, 21:26)

8. Partner and Relationship Observations

• Jacqueline expresses “I like Ollie a lot. Yeah, I actually love Ollie, but I'm also not a pushover..." (Jacqueline, 24:20)
• She highlights big family support—everyone weighs in, but ultimately supports Amber’s choices with respect and trust.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (by Timestamp)

• On Amber’s spontaneity and trust:
  “Make the right decisions. And you have. And even in moving forward in your life, you will always make the right decisions, because the decisions that you make are for you, not for me, not for nobody.”
  — Jacqueline (04:05)

• On Black girlhood:
  “Because there was nobody like us. And some days, coming home from school, we'd have to stop the car, pull over, have a little talk, try and explain why I was always the only black girl in everything.”
  — Jacqueline (16:18–16:33)

• On the reality of motherhood:
  “No one told me about, like, the breastfeeding or trying to find a babysitter that you can trust, and then working two jobs and coming from one job, try to come home, cook, then get to your next job...”
  — Jacqueline (18:04)

• Family support forever:
  “If you should Fail or fall, you'll never hit the ground because I'm right there. You'll never, ever, ever.”
  — Jacqueline (21:11)

• On Amber’s confidence:
  “If you're gonna do it, do it full and do it... If you're gonna be a janitor, be the best janitor. If you're gonna be a waitress, be the best waitress.”
  — Amber recounting her mom’s advice (29:52)

• Matriarchal legacy:
  “Even when I am not here on this planet... My mom, your and Beatrice and my grandma, we all got you...Your siblings are right there... We're good. You're gonna be great.”
  — Jacqueline (21:26–22:10)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:04–02:26: Jacqueline’s “cameo” on reality TV and family pride
• 03:00–04:26: Jacqueline’s honest reaction to Amber joining "Love Is Blind"; trust, support, and Amber's spontaneity
• 05:28–08:00: On the blessing of sharing life milestones and immortalizing family moments
• 09:29–10:18: “Black Butterfly”, family creativity, and supporting daughters’ ambitions
• 10:36–11:46: Fears and realities of new motherhood
• 13:33–14:11: Raising seven children as a single mom; the individuality of each child
• 16:18–17:03: Navigating race, identity, and belonging for Black girls in majority-white towns
• 18:04–18:55: The challenges nobody prepared her for in motherhood and pushing back on the “superwoman” narrative
• 20:16–21:11: Jacqueline’s top advice for Amber as a mother—trust yourself, filter advice, rely on your support
• 28:05–29:20: Stage mom stories, childhood performances, and building confidence
• 29:52–31:35: Life philosophies: go “full out,” avoid mediocrity, and encourage ambition

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Tone & Style

The conversation is warm, vulnerable, often hilarious, peppered with loving teasing, generational wisdom, and a signature no-nonsense edge—from both women. Amber is playful and inquisitive; Jacqueline is direct, nurturing, and proud, never shying from hard truths or big expressions of love.

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Conclusion

Amber and Jacqueline’s exchange is a vibrant portrait of Black motherhood, resilience, family legacy, and the ever-evolving mother-daughter bond. There’s honesty about struggle and sacrifice, but also celebration—of Amber’s journey, Jacqueline’s unwavering support, and the enduring threads that tie their family together.

Amber closes with, “I love you.” Jacqueline responds, “I love you more,” bringing home the sense of unconditional support and generational love that runs through the episode.

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For listeners interested in the realities behind reality TV, the beauty and challenge of family, and unapologetic Black womanhood, this is a must-hear, both for laughs and inspiration.

Transcript

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[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

What's up, you guys? It's your girl ad. Welcome to another episode of what's the Reality? You guys, I had to put the cards down because this woman, she needs really, truly no introduction. She is the legend, the myth. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nope. It's my mom. My mother is here.

[Amber's Mom]

Is that me?

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

That's you.

[Amber's Mom]

That's me.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

This is a dream come true for me. This is a dream.

[Amber's Mom]

Come me.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I know, you guys, when I tell you if one of my videos has 1 million views, it's because she's watched it 1 million times. My biggest fan, love of my life. I know she's gonna cry. I'm gonna cry.

[Amber's Mom]

I'll try not to.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

We'll do our best. It's okay.

[Amber's Mom]

But whatever happens, happens.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

So, you guys, this is my mom.

[Amber's Mom]

Yes.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

You probably remember her from season six.

[Amber's Mom]

Breakout star, holding it down.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Breakout star, Love is Blind, Season 6.

[Amber's Mom]

But I did good. You did great.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

You did great.

[Amber's Mom]

Cause I could have went there, but I did good. I was.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Honestly, it's hard to be a mom on Love is Blind and not get ridiculed or say the wrong things or not even say the wrong things, but let that mama bear come out and.

[Amber's Mom]

You held on to the reins.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

You did. I was very proud of you.

[Amber's Mom]

Excuse me.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah. Yeah. You deserve that.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Brush your shoulders up. So how are you?

[Amber's Mom]

I'm fine. I'm here in la hanging out with you, having a really good time.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

And I love you. Treat Me, Like. Like, I just love you.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

I'm having a great time.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Okay, let me ask you, because I feel like I've never really asked you, what was your first thought when I first said, mom, I'm going on reality tv. And not just any reality show. Like, literally, I'm going on Love is Blind?

[Amber's Mom]

Well, first I said, what is Love is Blind? What is Love is Blind? I said, wait, you're gonna meet somebody? And then you said, you're gonna marry them and then potentially marry. Potentially marry them. And I just kept saying, well, wait, how does that work? How does. How does that work?

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

But then I kept saying, wait, you do get to see them at first, eventually.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

But then I came around to say, you know what? I trust you.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

You know, go with your gut.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

That's.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

That's how I felt whenever people would be like, oh, what does your mom think? Or what does your family think? I'm like, to be honest, my family's not surprised by anything that I do. Like, if I. If I'm like, hey, mom, tomorrow I'm going to the moon, you'd be like, yeah, that tracks. That makes sense.

[Amber's Mom]

Because it's kind of like how when you were moving.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

You came home one day, he's like, I'm moving to Charlotte.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

I was like, wait, when? A week later. She was in Charlotte.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I'm very spontaneous, and I think I.

[Amber's Mom]

Just always have been.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah, always.

[Amber's Mom]

Always.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I'm not supposed to be very much on the go.

[Amber's Mom]

You prepared me well. Like, whatever you're getting ready to do, I'm with it. She knows what's good.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

See, you trust you trust me 100%. Make the right decisions.

[Amber's Mom]

And you have.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

And even in moving forward in your life, you will always make the right decisions, because the decisions that you make are for you, not for me, not for nobody. It's for Nas, for y'. All. But, you know.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Okay, so what was it like filming Love is Blind?

[Amber's Mom]

Well, to be honest, it was exciting because you get to see, like, behind the scenes things. And. But what I also like about it is it was real. I thought that you would sit there and they would say, okay, wait, now you got to do this, and I'll turn this way or whatever. And it was real. And I was just like, okay, we're doing this. Okay. But I like that about it, though. And they took. So, like, they cared about you. They, like, not. Well, yeah, I'm gonna say it. They catered to you guys, and I thought it was good, you know, you.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Felt like I was in good hands.

[Amber's Mom]

You were.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Production wise, at least.

[Amber's Mom]

Yeah, definitely production wise, because.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And that's it. That's it.

[Amber's Mom]

No, but it was a really nice experience and I thank you guys for letting us be a part of it, because it does happen, like, so quickly.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

You don't know, like, the next thing you know, I mean, we can go from here and in a couple of minutes later, you're now married. But they kind of kept us involved. They catered to us also.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I just think it's such a blessing because it's not every season people aren't as fortunate as I was to have their mom even either one, give her blessing to, like, the whole experience or two even show up. So it's just like the fact that, you know, I mean, you always show up for me, and I didn't expect anything less. But the fact that, like, we have these moments that are, like, immortalized, and we get to have that forever. Even just this podcast and filming this, that we get to have this forever and we get to show your new granddaughter, like, how cute Nana is. Speaking of your new granddaughter.

[Amber's Mom]

Okay, wait, go ahead. I'm ready.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

How do you feel about meeting her soon? She's coming.

[Amber's Mom]

Well, I'm super excited for a number of reasons, because I have beautiful granddaughters already. Beautiful grandsons.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

My mom is a mother of seven children, y'.

[Amber's Mom]

All.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And how many grandchildren do you have?

[Amber's Mom]

I have five and a half. Wait, I have four and a half.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Four and a half?

[Amber's Mom]

Yeah. Four.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

No, that can't be right.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Math.

[Amber's Mom]

Let me get it. I'm going to just say. See, she said Nana. Get it right. Get it right. Get me in here. Right, so we have Zayden, Aubrey, Joelle, Ray, Evie, and her. I don't know her name yet.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

She doesn't know her name.

[Amber's Mom]

I don't know her name.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

She doesn't know her name.

[Amber's Mom]

We have the little. Little one.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Little girl.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

So that's four and a half.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Mom is five and a half.

[Amber's Mom]

Five and a half.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

You know, listen, I have maternity brain for you right now.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I appreciate it.

[Amber's Mom]

Okay. Okay.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

But I'm really excited to meet her.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Yeah, She's. This is my mom's first time to LA since Ollie and I have gotten settled in la and she's seen the nursery and she's just. How do you think I feel about it?

[Amber's Mom]

Well, the nursery is awesome.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

You guys have done an excellent job. It's beautiful.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

I'm not going to say anything that's in there, but there's Some things in there. That's just amazing. But what really broke me down when I first got to LA and you came it. Yep. I'm tell. I'm gonna talk about your mom. When I saw you at the airport for the first time, because I hadn't seen, like, we FaceTime all the time, but I hadn't seen your belly. And I didn't want to be like. Because I was trying not to cry, trying not to scream, but I lost it. And I just held on and. And you know.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

So emotional.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

It's almost like finally. Like, finally I got my man.

[Amber's Mom]

Because I was always saying, like, my belly, my baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Because I'm her first girl, and her first girl is having her first girl.

[Amber's Mom]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

So that's pretty amazing.

[Amber's Mom]

How did I go? I prayed for you.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

Because we had two boys first.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Do you hear that? Siblings.

[Amber's Mom]

Yeah. Well, I pray for them, too. I pray for you guys because, you know, I'm in love with my children. I don't care what. I just love them all. All of them.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

But there's something about me. Just say it.

[Amber's Mom]

But there's something about you that just blows me away. But with that being said, I will say this. As the oldest girl, you have set a great example for your. Your sisters and your nieces and actually all of us. Because even though I'm older, OB We've learned a lot from you, and you've learned a lot from us, but they get to look at you, like, in conversations that I couldn't even have with them, you know, like stuff I should be saying. And just when I get ready to have the talk with one of them, they'll go, oh, Amber. Amber told me that Amber hooked me up or whatever.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Only because you told me.

[Amber's Mom]

Well.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Or you gave me the wings to fly to figure it out.

[Amber's Mom]

So can I say Black Butterfly?

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

What you just did.

[Amber's Mom]

So not meaning. It's a. It's one of our favorite songs. Like when you were. I don't know, I think like three, you were already taking dance classes, singing, just doing stuff, you know? And then in middle school, when you're supposed to be in school in class.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

In class, the principal or the teacher would come to your class, come take you out. Amber's the star of this play, and I'm just saying Amber's the star of the play, and she needs to be down here right now because you were Dorothy in the Wiz, and it was just amazing. Like. Like you've always done.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Basically, what she's saying. You guys is I've always had star quality.

[Amber's Mom]

Yeah, she's.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

She's not shocked that I'm here.

[Amber's Mom]

I'm not. Not at all. Yeah, not at all. Skinny legs and press and curl.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

My mama always thought I'd be a star. That's our song, too. Okay, so what do you remember most about becoming a mom? For the first time.

[Amber's Mom]

I'm gonna tell the truth. I was scared because I kept saying, someone is gonna stop me and take.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

The baby before I don't know what's going on.

[Amber's Mom]

I said, wait, they're gonna really let me just take this baby home?

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

That's what I was saying to Ollie the other day. I was like, the schooling. Like, not the schooling, but, like, you go to driving school, you. To become a realtor, I had to do 9,000 tests and pay all this money and do all this stuff, but.

[Amber's Mom]

I can have a baby and just take it home.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

No test.

[Amber's Mom]

No test.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

No, no. Not a question will be asked. Just go ahead.

[Amber's Mom]

Yeah. But you know what the amazing thing is? It really does kick in. It just kicks in.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

So I've been told.

[Amber's Mom]

It does. It kicks in.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

It's a. It's a beautiful thing. And I'm glad that you will have the opportunity.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I feel pretty maternal. I feel more maternal than I thought I would because I just remember being younger and being like, I don't have time for arts and crafts and blah, blah, blah. Now I'm just like, I can't wait to like.

[Amber's Mom]

Well, I'm glad that it. It's kicked in.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

It's kicking in.

[Amber's Mom]

It's kicking in.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

But I'm not going to tell this story. But you will. Remember one of the first times you babysitted, you were really good to the child that you babysitted, but I didn't.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Want nothing to do with them diapers.

[Amber's Mom]

That's right. And you got paid for babysitting. But you'd say, mom, can you come and change the kid for me? And you'd play with it and do all the good stuff.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

But I was great with my sisters.

[Amber's Mom]

You were excellent.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And my nieces and nephews, so.

[Amber's Mom]

Auntie Am.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

It's in there. Auntie Amber. Auntie Amber, what was it like raising all of us? Because you have seven children, two boys, five girls, all adults at this point, like, grown.

[Amber's Mom]

All grown. Thank you.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Thank you. What was that like?

[Amber's Mom]

Well.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And you did it by yourself.

[Amber's Mom]

Yeah. Sometimes you have to. And that's not a bad thing. So. And I just want to say this to males and females out here, you. Yes. It's great to be together in a great, loving relationship, but sometimes it doesn't work out. And that's, and that's kind of with me. But I have to say, I have seven of the most amazing children. And I used to always say to the creator that my children were up there looking down saying, I want that mommy right there. Give me her. But even though I have seven of you guys, it's seven totally different people.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

It's two totally different boys. Five totally. It's not the same. Even though you have boys, you have girls. It's just, it's a process.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah, it's.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I remember when I was a teenager because again, I was her first daughter and she would be like, this is my first time having a 17 year old, 17 year old girl.

[Amber's Mom]

I don't know.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And I'm like, I don't know either. This is my first time being 17.

[Amber's Mom]

And it makes sense. Yeah. This is my first time ever having adult children.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

This is my first time seeing one of my children just move out of a state and just go, yeah, you know, your mom's just a girl.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

At the end of the day.

[Amber's Mom]

At the end of the day, a mother is not just a mother. We are all of that.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

But at the end of the day, we're still, no matter how old we are, we're still trying to figure out every day.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

Because everybody needs something different no matter how old you are.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Okay, what was I like as a kid?

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[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Oh, my God. This all tracks.

[Amber's Mom]

Demanding in good ways in school. Excellent. Like I remember how I used to when you would speak Spanish, you'd Come home and you would just be ripping it off and all of that. But I have. You were kind. You were too kind.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

And I'm glad that you became more bossy, because.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Is it bossy or was I just more commanding the room for my respect?

[Amber's Mom]

I. I think that that's what it was.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Okay.

[Amber's Mom]

Because I think that it got to a point where you just realized and said, no, no one's going to talk to me that way. No one's going to do this to me. No one's going to say that. Because where we live, it's in the suburbs, you know, and we had some hard days there.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

You know, because there was nobody like us.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

There.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

And some days, coming home from school, we'd have to stop the car, pull over, have a little talk, try and.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Explain why I was always the only black girl in everything.

[Amber's Mom]

Always. Always the only black girl in everything. Everything. And our family was the only black students, really.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

For a while.

[Amber's Mom]

For a while in that town.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

You know, that town was kind of hard.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

That's why. But as soon as I could leave, I was out of there.

[Amber's Mom]

Yeah, but. And we're still there.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

Well, I'm still there.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

So basically, to sum up, me as a child, I was pretty perfect.

[Amber's Mom]

You know what? I. I'm not even gonna lie. You were the best daughter. First daughter that anyone could ask for. That I could have asked for. You was such a girly girl. You wasn't scared to try anything. You were just like, that's what I was asking for, you know?

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

Yeah. I'll keep you.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Thanks. That just makes me, like, think of, like, when my daughter comes, like, I just want her to be whoever she's going to be, and I just want to watch it happen and, like, mold it and cultivate whatever she wants to do and be like, I just want to.

[Amber's Mom]

And that's how it has to be.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

If they fail at something, let them fail, because then they'll know to try again.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

But if you stop them, then they're stuck, you know? So it's okay to make mistakes.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

You know, because that's how you learn, you know?

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

What was the biggest surprise about motherhood? That no one prepared you for that.

[Amber's Mom]

It can be really hard because I thought that all of my friends that had had their children, it just looked perfect. But no one told me about, like, the breastfeeding or trying to find a babysitter that you can trust, and then working two jobs and coming from one job, try to come home, cook, then get to your next job, you know?

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Just like superwoman wearing all the hats. Yeah, I do remember that about, like, when I was younger. You did it all.

[Amber's Mom]

And you know what? I don't even think it's fair being called a superwoman. It's things that we have to do, and unfortunately, we get put in a position by maybe our other half that we have to become a superwoman. But in reality, you just want to be yourself.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

You want to be able to say, I'm Jackie. I'm just a mom. I'm not going to get it right. And all the time. All the time. But you're going to keep trying and trying, you know, so. Yeah. Just a human. We're just trying to figure it out.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Just a girl.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

How did becoming a mom change you as a person?

[Amber's Mom]

Well, for me, I love children. I love.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

You love having kids.

[Amber's Mom]

I love the. I love being pregnant. I love watching you guys grow. I like. And it's amazing. And you'll see this when it happens. When you see your child learn something for the first time, you're like, wow, wait, they can do that. You know, So I.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

It's gotta be the piano.

[Amber's Mom]

She's gonna come out and first thing, she's gonna do a split, then a plie, a demi four. She's gonna do PK fours or whatever. She's gonna dancer. Yeah. She's gonna be a dancing machine. But you know what?

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Boxer.

[Amber's Mom]

She might be a MMA master.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

She might be, you know, her daddy.

[Amber's Mom]

You know, he's gonna give us some skills. I know, but you're not bad yourself. I know you got skills like.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Listen, what's the biggest piece of advice you have for me when it comes to motherhood?

[Amber's Mom]

Take in all the information that you can, like, as if it's a sponge. Squeeze out what you don't need. Don't listen to what everyone's going to tell you, because everybody's process is different, you know, and labor is different, you know, because I remember when I had my first, my mom kept saying, okay, you know, she made me think it was going to hurt me and all of this stuff. And the total opposite, I kept. I was waiting for what she was saying is going to happen to me. And then I just had a little baby, so. Take the information. Trust your gut.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

On everything. Trust your gut. Believe in yourself. Continue to know who you are. Like, you already know. And everything doesn't. Does not fit for everybody. You have to keep making your own way and figuring it out for yourself.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

And. And if you should Fail or fall, you'll never hit the ground because I'm right there. You'll never, ever, ever.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

You're gonna be a great mother. Yeah, I'll never. You know, and even when I am not here on this planet. Where you going? Well, when I move on, like, you know, but when I'm not here, I'm still here.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I know.

[Amber's Mom]

And my mom, your and Beatrice and my grandma, we all got you. And way before that. And then on top of that, your siblings are right there. You know, Tesh is going to come out ready. Tamika is going to come out ready. Trinity, Reg, Kimel, you know, Alexis, they. We're good. Yeah, we're good. You're gonna be good. You're gonna be great. And you've had so much practice with your nephews and nieces.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

You know, and I hope that you'll let someone hold her. Nope, probably not.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Not a chance in hell.

[Amber's Mom]

She'll be stuck right here. Yeah. And it's a feeling that when you feel your baby being laid on your chest. It's amazing. Yeah, it is so amazing. And then you look at their little fingers and toes and be like, I.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Created that from scratch.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

I used to always look at you guys tongue because I was like, wait, I didn't just do the outside. I put that tongue in there. I know, that's crazy.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

No, I'd be like that all the time.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I'm like a 12. Like when I think working like a 9 to 5, I'm like, okay, you work a 9 to 5. I'm working. 24, 7 and 12 hours of that day is making eyeballs.

[Amber's Mom]

Yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Like just.

[Amber's Mom]

Absolutely.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Today is just eyeballs.

[Amber's Mom]

Dedicated. That's it.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Tomorrow's just lungs, you know, like I'm.

[Amber's Mom]

You're producing a human.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah, a human.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I can't wait till she's old enough to see this.

[Amber's Mom]

And then. Her dad's awesome. Yeah, you got a great dad. You know, tall, nice, isn't it? I'm just saying. He know what I'm saying. But I knew you.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I knew you were gonna slide.

[Amber's Mom]

But I think that you created your family. You guys created your family.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

How do you feel about Ollie?

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[Amber's Mom]

Well, I like Ollie a lot. Yeah, I actually love Ollie, but I'm also not a pushover because Ollie's dealing with my daughter, period. And at the end of the day, you know, you all's relationship is you all's relationship and I love that for you. I like seeing him hug you and talk to you and kissing you on your forehead and I like your interaction right back with him, you know, but also I want to be real to say just like how you feel about your daughter that's in your body right now. There's nothing on this planet that I wouldn't do to make sure you're good on any day with anybody. Not just. Not all the.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I'm just saying she's giving all the PG virgin right now because basically she's. My mother can turn up and she's clear. She's giving the PG virgin.

[Amber's Mom]

Real quick.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I appreciate it.

[Amber's Mom]

Real quick.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I can read between the lines.

[Amber's Mom]

Yeah, I can read between the letters written.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And he knows, and he has nothing but respect and love for you and.

[Amber's Mom]

And he shows me nothing but love and respect, you know, and got to meet his mom. You know, we talked a little bit and. And I like him. I like him a lot. I do. I like him for you. And it's not even after watching Perfect Match. I had some moments.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I had another conversation for another day.

[Amber's Mom]

On another episode, but they weren't like bad, bad moments. But to see where you've come.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

You know, like coming from Love is blind to here, because Love is Blind was a great experience. It really was. It may not have been the outcome, but I think that the way that it ended up was perfectly how it's supposed to. I think.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I don't. I don't know if I ever told this story, but when I was on I might get in trouble because we're not supposed to tell who's in the villa, but we get our phone like for an hour in the morning, remember? And I was like, you guys, Ollie's here. And I match. I was on FaceTime with my mom and all my sisters and I was like, I didn't watch his season. I don't know anything about him. And I said, yalls, homework is to.

[Amber's Mom]

Go and watch what we think.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And then when I call you back, tell me what you think. I was so nervous when they called. When I called them, I think it was like maybe two or three days later. And I was like, what do you think? And literally they were all like, he's not that bad.

[Amber's Mom]

Yep, yep, he's not that bad. And we were all separately saying it. It wasn't a collective. We were all giving our own opinions.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And I was just like. I felt like I could relax. Cause I hadn't seen it, so I didn't know. But when you guys were like, give it a try and see.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah, yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

And you guys did well.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And now look at me.

[Amber's Mom]

Look at.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Look at all of you, barefoot and pregnant.

[Amber's Mom]

Yeah, you're not barefoot because your shoes will fly.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

You know, but yeah, life is lifing.

[Amber's Mom]

And it will continue to, you know, but seriously, just take it one step at a time. Yeah, you already know that. You know, another one of ourselves.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

We have so many, like, because you have been. That song was Step by Step by Whitney Houston.

[Amber's Mom]

You're right. But you've been performing sometimes unwilling. Because sometimes, like, I like, you're about.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

To admit that you're a stage mom.

[Amber's Mom]

I'm a stage mom. And there was. We were at this big event in Boston, and you guys were hired to be Tina Turner and all of that. And this is an embarrassing story. So, yeah, we were. I'm not gonna tell this story.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

But anyway, me and my sisters had to meet Tina Turner and her. I was. I was Tina Turner, honestly. And my sisters were like the little backup dancer singers. And then there was a seg. We did my segment. It was fine. Then there was this segment where this kid was being Michael Jackson and he had a Billie Jean. His Billie Jean never showed up.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Mm.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And mind you, I'm in a Tina Turner wig, so my hair's pushed back and I'm looking crazy. And my mom goes, I need you to be Billie Jean. And I said, well.

[Amber's Mom]

But they said, do you think you're doing it?

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And I do. I just don't. I can't do it. She's like, no, you're gonna be Billie Jean. And when the song comes on, you're gonna walk on that stage and just keep walking.

[Amber's Mom]

Yep.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Like, literally give Billie Je.

[Amber's Mom]

Jean. She went out there like she had her step to.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Before I got a. Snatches the Tina Turner wig off my hair. So now I'm with a bald slick back at like nine, eight or Nine. And I'm just feeling really insecure.

[Amber's Mom]

I'm like, wait, wait, wait.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Crying. I'm like, mom, I don't know what to do. I'm crying.

[Amber's Mom]

And what did I say?

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

The song comes on. She's like, walk. And I literally was like, Billie Jean.

[Amber's Mom]

And killed it and got a standing ovation. I did. I ate. And you guys got out there, like, so insane.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And I think that, like, made me so confident because I was like, well, it was always full out with you. It's always like. You know, my sister's like. And I came up with a dance. We'd be like, mom, we want to show you our routine.

[Amber's Mom]

And I would say.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And she would say, are you gonna do it full out? Cause if you're not gonna do it full out, I don't wanna see you.

[Amber's Mom]

If this is gonna be play, play. I don't wanna. I don't wanna see you. Never mind. Go perfect it and come back. And then we would come back with.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

A full production, a full dance, and then come back. It's not like you didn't allow me to be. You didn't allow us to be mediocre. Right?

[Amber's Mom]

You're gonna.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

You know, it wasn't like. It wasn't Joe Jackson by any means, but it was like, if you're gonna do it, do it, do it. And she always said, if you're gonna be something or do something, be the best. She's always, if you're gonna be a janitor, be the best janitor. If you're gonna be a waitress, be the best waitress. Like, just do what you're gonna do and do it full and do it. And that's always been like, that's how I became Patriots cheerleader, how he became a Even.

[Amber's Mom]

Can I say something? Even with the Patriots cheerleaders, right when we got to the audition, and I'm not just saying so when we got to that audition, there was a good 4 to 500 women in the line. In the line. Mixed races, mixed everything. In the line. And I said, you got this.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

And. And she was a little. She wasn't scared or anything like that. Pulled herself together. Then they start making cuts. And we're watching this line go from 500 to 400 to 3, and each time until it got down to, I think, maybe 40 girls.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And then we moved on to finals.

[Amber's Mom]

And we moved on to finals.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

That's when you could have an audience. And you were.

[Amber's Mom]

Yeah. And I came up there, and this is the truth. Robert Kraft's wife, then wife, Rip Rest in peace. Yeah. Came over and she's like. She didn't know that you were my daughter, but she's like, I like that girl right there. Right there.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

She was one of the judges.

[Amber's Mom]

Yep. She was a judge. Yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Long story short, she's never let me be mediocre and there's no room for it.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Now look at me.

[Amber's Mom]

There's no room for it. If you think it, you see it, you can do it, period. You make it happen for yourself.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

And. And what? You know, it's already in you. Sometimes you just need somebody to bring it out or let you know. But I don't take any credit for anything that you do. It was already inside of you. You just did it. I just burst.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

You gave me the confidence.

[Amber's Mom]

Yeah.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And I'm really grateful and I love you and I'm happy that you came to LA to hang out, like, literally.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Y'.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

All. I called my mom last week and I said, can you please just come to la? I just needed my mom.

[Amber's Mom]

I'm coming.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And she, like, booked here.

[Amber's Mom]

And it doesn't matter if you're calling me at 2 o' clock in the morning or whatever, I'm coming. But I have to say, I'm coming for all of you all. Yeah, we know I'm gonna come for all of you all. But when you guys are so far away, it makes it a little more difficult. But I'm coming.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber's Mom]

Like right now, I have no idea what time it really is. I don't. I keep waking up at 2:35.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

She's still on east coast time, but she's showing up for me always. And I just want to thank you again for coming here.

[Amber's Mom]

I want to thank you for inviting me. Can I. Can I just say something? What? What I knew you were gonna do. What's the reality?

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I knew you were gonna do that. And my mom was like, I want to touch this gold bowl. Go ahead.

[Amber's Mom]

Can I?

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Please, go ahead. I don't know. What is her obsession with this?

[Amber's Mom]

I'm a damn bowl. Because when I'm watching at home, it looks like. Because this is what I'm saying to myself, she's gonna reach down to this gold bowl, pick out a question or something for me or give me something, and she's gonna go, okay, I couldn't reach that bowl. I know you can't.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

My life depended on, but.

[Amber's Mom]

Well, you don't have to, but it looks like.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Go ahead, touch it.

[Amber's Mom]

You guys. You guys are going to.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Isn't it nice?

[Amber's Mom]

Give us something from out of that bowl. It looks like it's waiting. Like, I'm in love with that. I think that's awesome.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Well, if the bowl goes missing today.

[Amber's Mom]

It'S in my pocket. It's in my pocket.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Thank you.

[Amber's Mom]

But let me say this to you also, if I can. Again, thank you so very much for having me here. I didn't have to be. I love sitting and watching. I'm just so proud of you. I'm so proud of the people that I've met around you. Like, when I do go back home, I'm not worried when you're at work, you're office and where you guys are, it's so secure. So don't try it, people. I love everything about it. And it. It. When I first came in here, I was just blown away.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

She thinks I'm so cool.

[Amber's Mom]

You are. You're pretty cool.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Thank you.

[Amber's Mom]

And. And a lot of the people that don't get seen have been so cool. So cool from people that I met. From Love is blind. In the beginning, it's been nothing but love. And I can. This is my opinion only. I don't think that anyone that I've met in the shows that you've done or anything have not shown you anything but respect.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I agree.

[Amber's Mom]

You guys have a class act. I love it. I hope to come back again.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

You'll be back. I think after my maternity leave, we can all come back and chop and talk about what the hell happened to me.

[Supporting Family Member or Friend]

Yeah.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Well, I love you.

[Amber's Mom]

I love you more.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And I'm so happy we got to have this moment.

[Amber's Mom]

Thank you for choosing me.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

You're welcome. You want a hug or something? Oh, okay. The Reach. I love you. I love you and thank you.

[Amber's Mom]

And I'm. And I'm proud of you.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

I can't wait till you watch this back.

[Amber's Mom]

Oh, my goodness. I'm gonna be like, wait, I said that. She didn't stop me. Whatever.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

That's okay.

[Amber's Mom]

But you guys, this is my mom. This is the.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

The queen, the don, the Dutch.

[Amber's Mom]

We love you.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And thanks again for joining me.

[Amber's Mom]

Thank you for having me.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Thank you for having me. Get it.

[Amber's Mom]

Oh, and thank you for having me.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

We're gonna wrap this up before it goes any further, so I love you.

[Amber's Mom]

I love you more.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

And we're gonna go get dinner because I'm hungry.

[Amber's Mom]

We're gonna go get dinner and you're.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Gonna wallpaper the nursery.

[Amber's Mom]

I'm going to do whatever.

[Amber (Podcast Host, Reality Star)]

Okay. Thank you guys for joining us for another episode of what's the Reality? Be sure to follow us on all social platforms at whatsthereality Pod and we will see you next Wednesday. What's the reality? What's the reality?

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[Amber's Mom]

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