From Pageants to Podcasts: Kamie Crawford Tells All

Summary

Podcast Title: What's the Reality?
Episode: From Pageants to Podcasts: Kamie Crawford Tells All
Release Date: May 28, 2025
Host: And Love Media

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Introduction

In the episode "From Pageants to Podcasts: Kamie Crawford Tells All," host AD welcomes former reality TV star Kamie Crawford to discuss her transformative journey from the world of pageants to the realm of podcasting. The conversation delves into Kamie's personal growth, her insights on relationships, reality TV representation, body image, and the challenges she has navigated along the way.

Kamie Crawford’s Transition from Pageants to Podcasting

Kamie opens up about her surprising entry into the pageant world. Despite her initial career aspirations of becoming a dermatologist, her participation in Miss Maryland Teen USA led her to win Miss Teen USA at a young age. Reflecting on her experience, Kamie shares, "I was not aware what a stage, the pageantry game that they came from" (35:37), highlighting the steep learning curve she faced.

Transitioning from pageants, Kamie discusses the decision to leave the show after six years, emphasizing the difficulty yet necessity of moving forward. "I have been working on the podcast, and it is no joke. People don't understand how difficult podcasting is. Listen, it’s a lot of work" (03:29). She underscores the dedication required to host her own podcast, balancing multiple interviews and solo episodes to maintain quality content.

Relationship Insights and Personal Growth

The dialogue shifts to Kamie’s personal life, particularly her relationship journey. Kamie reveals, "I've been working, doing my thing, like, really just, like, refinding myself and what it is that I really want out of this life" (03:52). She emphasizes the importance of self-discovery in her 30s, stating, "But way more confident and feeling more at peace with myself and my decisions" (04:08). Kamie advocates for the significance of discerning healthy relationships, urging listeners to "eliminate anyone from your life who makes you feel like you have to limit yourself" (41:27).

Reality TV and Representation of Black Women

A significant portion of the conversation addresses the representation of Black women in reality TV. Kamie critiques the superficial portrayal and limited storylines given to women of color, noting, "When it comes to those bigger press moments, we're not being chosen. Our stories are being overlooked" (24:29). She discusses her efforts to provide authentic narratives through her podcast, aiming to amplify voices that are often marginalized. Kamie stresses the necessity of accurate representation, stating, "If I can, go through and be like, hey, we gave some context to what this means when we were talking about microaggressions here" (21:21).

Body Image and Modeling

Kamie shares her experiences with body image, influenced by her Caribbean upbringing where curves are celebrated. "I didn't grow up with a mom who critiqued her body... It helped with the way that I would see myself" (30:03). She contrasts this with societal pressures, particularly in the fitness industry, highlighting her own journey towards body neutrality. Kamie candidly discusses her use of Botox to manage her animated expressions due to her sensitive skin, emphasizing personal autonomy over body decisions: "We have this body. This is the one that we have. What are we going to do about it?" (34:20).

Advice for Young Girls and Navigating Relationships

Throughout the episode, Kamie offers empowering advice for young women. She encourages them to pursue their passions without self-imposed limitations and to seek environments that foster their growth. "You can do whatever you want to do. There's nothing that you can't do" (41:27). Kamie also speaks on the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive individuals and recognizing when to distance from toxic relationships, reinforcing the mantra, "Go where you're loved, not tolerated" (42:34).

Dating Stories and Trends

The host and Kamie engage in a playful segment titled "Love It or Leave It," where they react to various dating trends and relationship advice. They discuss the concept of birth order compatibility, ultimately "loving it" as they find resonance in their personal experiences (52:23). Additionally, Kamie recounts a "cringy dating story" involving a creepy date, emphasizing the importance of recognizing red flags early on (58:45). This segment blends humor with practical relationship insights, offering listeners relatable anecdotes.

Conclusion

The episode concludes with heartfelt exchanges between Kamie and the host, celebrating their mutual support and the safe spaces they create for women and individuals to share their stories. Kamie expresses gratitude for the platform to amplify authentic voices and reiterates her commitment to fostering genuine connections through her podcast.

Notable Quotes

• Kamie Crawford: "I left Catfish after six years, which, you know, was a really difficult decision, but it was the right decision for me." (03:10)

• Kamie Crawford: "If you can, go through and be like, hey, we gave some context to what this means when we were talking about microaggressions here." (21:21)

• Kamie Crawford: "You can do whatever you want to do. There's nothing that you can't do." (41:27)

• Host: "Go where you're loved, not tolerated." (42:34)

• Kamie Crawford: "We have this body. This is the one that we have. What are we going to do about it?" (34:20)

Timestamps

For reference, here are some key timestamps mentioned in the summary:

• 03:10 - Kamie discusses leaving Catfish and starting her podcast.
• 03:29 - The challenges of podcasting.
• 04:08 - Personal growth in her 30s.
• 21:21 - Importance of context in discussing microaggressions.
• 24:29 - Representation of Black women in reality TV.
• 30:03 - Body image influenced by Caribbean upbringing.
• 34:20 - Emphasis on body autonomy.
• 41:27 - Empowering advice for young women.
• 42:34 - Advice on seeking supportive environments.
• 52:23 - Loving the concept of birth order compatibility.
• 58:45 - Kamie shares a cringy dating story.

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This episode offers a rich tapestry of Kamie Crawford's experiences and insights, providing listeners with both entertainment and valuable life lessons on love, relationships, and self-empowerment.

Transcript

[Kami Crawford]

Yo, there's something about those jeans. When you're in true religion, heads turn. That's why you gotta own your true.

[Unnamed Host]

A movement that inspires confidence, making those.

[Kami Crawford]

Who wear our jeans impossible to ignore.

[Unnamed Guest]

You know who you are, so walk.

[Unnamed Host]

Your walk and let them talk. Because an authentic you is you and true. And that's something to own. Press play on your favorite song if.

[Kami Crawford]

You haven't already and head over to true religion.com to start owning your true.

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[Unnamed Host]

Cammy crop for y' all.

[Kami Crawford]

They want to know the tea and you go get the tea. What y' all think that you know, the Love island people, the Love is Blind people, the Bachelor Nation. You think that those are something? Let me tell you something about pageant people.

[Unnamed Host]

They are cool toddlers in tears.

[Kami Crawford]

Bananas. Why are we even talking about this person?

[Unnamed Host]

Right?

[Kami Crawford]

Get out of the relationship.

[Unnamed Host]

She will come for you in the comments.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes. Like if you you saw me, I'm fighting with everybody. I was fighting with whole families and friends for you. I don't give a damn.

[Unnamed Host]

The definition of we ride at dawn.

[Kami Crawford]

At dawn.

[Unnamed Host]

What's the Reality? What's the reality, you guys? What's up? And welcome back to what's the Reality. But I'm gonna say this again before we get into this episode, you guys, I notice you're watching, but you're not subscribing. So press that button and help your girl out. We have such an amazing episod today. I'm sitting here with the fabulous, the wonderful, the one and only Kami Crawford, y' all.

[Kami Crawford]

Hey, Queen.

[Unnamed Host]

Hi, Queen.

[Kami Crawford]

I'm so excited to be here.

[Unnamed Host]

How are you?

[Kami Crawford]

I am so happy. One, to see you. Two. To see that ring.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay.

[Kami Crawford]

Three, the fact that you have a podcast.

[Unnamed Host]

Listen, you guys, you may recognize our girl from not only Catfish on mtv, so Sports Illustrated, hello. Also have your people from Sports Illustrated call my people.

[Kami Crawford]

Oh, yes. That body needs to be seen in sports illustration. Hello, 1000.

[Unnamed Host]

I'm never going to be this hot again. And her own podcast relationship.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay.

[Kami Crawford]

It's capital Sh.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay, okay. I'm so happy you're here. Last time you saw me, I was fighting for my life. I was in shambles.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes. Correct.

[Unnamed Host]

While I'm not.

[Kami Crawford]

Life comes at you fast, quick, fast.

[Unnamed Host]

In a hurry.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay.

[Kami Crawford]

You are God's favorite.

[Unnamed Host]

You know, I'm on the list next to you. I'm on the list, girl.

[Kami Crawford]

I got one of those yet. But when I do, I'm gonna be. Yeah, I'm gonna be on the list with you.

[Unnamed Host]

Catch me up. What's new? Since our last conversation, Girl, I feel.

[Kami Crawford]

Like so much life has happened. Yeah. I left Catfish after six years, which, you know, was a really difficult decision, but it was the right decision for me. I have been working on the podcast non. And as you know, it is no joke. People don't understand how difficult podcasting is. Listen, it's a lot of work.

[Unnamed Host]

It is.

[Kami Crawford]

How many episodes do you do in, like, one day?

[Unnamed Host]

What is this?

[Kami Crawford]

Third.

[Unnamed Host]

My third interview today.

[Kami Crawford]

Three is my max.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

Like, if I do a solo and then two interviews, then, like, I'm good. But anything over that.

[Unnamed Host]

Brain fry.

[Kami Crawford]

Your brain is just like. And now you're like, what did you do?

[Unnamed Host]

Not brain is fried. I don't know what you said. Fumbling. Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes. But you're killing it.

[Unnamed Host]

I'm so proud. Thank you.

[Kami Crawford]

But, yeah, I've just been working, doing my thing, like, really just, like, refinding myself and what it is that I really want out of this life. And, you know, I'm in my 30s, so 30. Flirty and thriving. Trying to figure it all out still.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

But way more confident and feeling more at peace with myself and my decisions. And there's just a certain level of discernment that comes with being in your 30s that. In my 20s, I can't say that I had.

[Unnamed Host]

You didn't possess.

[Kami Crawford]

We did not possess. We didn't even know what we wanted.

[Unnamed Host]

No. Not even a little bit.

[Kami Crawford]

Not even a little bit.

[Unnamed Host]

It's so, like, weird to be on this side having this conversation with you.

[Kami Crawford]

I love it, though.

[Unnamed Host]

I love it because, like, I feel like now I'm getting to know you in a different capacity. Like, obviously, like, we text and DM and we do all those things, but now I'm getting to step into what you've been doing, and it is some shit. I'm not going.

[Kami Crawford]

It is some shit. It is some shit. But it's. Honestly, it's fun. It's fun.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

And when you have a team, it helps.

[Unnamed Host]

It does help. I cannot do this by Myself shout out, y' all. So do you have anything exciting coming out that you would like the people to know about?

[Kami Crawford]

You know, Scorpio. To Scorpio. We're always working on something.

[Unnamed Host]

Always something on the back burner.

[Kami Crawford]

There's always something bubbling up. We have an episode with Latia from the Bachelor girl. It was giving me flashbacks to our episode because, like Latia, she, first of all, stunning, gorgeous, beautiful.

[Unnamed Host]

Come on now. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

[Kami Crawford]

We talked about that moment, but, like, when she first got there, she was like, I'm a little nervous. And I was like, honestly, so am I. It reminds me of when we did AD's episode, because as excited as I am to talk about it and, you know, I'm a fan of reality tv. Like, I watch these shows. I know that the people who are going to be listening and watching are not.

[Unnamed Host]

Are already coming to tear us apart 1,000%. Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

And also, they're not my core listener base that listens in every single Friday. So they're here because they want tea, they want drama, and you know me, I'm not that type of bitch.

[Unnamed Host]

That's not where you go.

[Kami Crawford]

That's not where I go.

[Unnamed Host]

If you want smoke, go to relationship. If you want smoke, go to Kami, because she's not about to hold back. She will come for you in the comments.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

Like, if you.

[Kami Crawford]

You saw me, I'm fighting with everybody. I was fighting with whole families and friends for you. I don't give a damn.

[Unnamed Host]

The definition of we ride at dawn.

[Kami Crawford]

At dawn.

[Unnamed Host]

The definition at dawn. So actually she was in the safest place that she could have been.

[Kami Crawford]

And you know what? That's why she said she came on.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, I love that.

[Kami Crawford]

Because she felt like that was going to be the case.

[Unnamed Host]

I love that.

[Kami Crawford]

And I just. I never want my guests to feel like they have to divulge something that is uncomfortable to them. Like, you know, I was. I asked the questions, but, like, I'm not over here. Like, so.

[Unnamed Host]

Right, right.

[Kami Crawford]

Some type of weird, slithering snake in the grass. Like, I just.

[Unnamed Host]

So much tea that I told you after that, you kept. I don't like what.

[Kami Crawford]

There was so much. Could you imagine?

[Unnamed Host]

Much. And you just like, girl, I got your back. I know what I know and I.

[Kami Crawford]

Know those messages, those need to be.

[Unnamed Host]

If those were in the podcast, still in the clip.

[Kami Crawford]

And they're. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Moving. That is an amazing interview. I cannot wait to watch that.

[Kami Crawford]

When we did your episode, that till this day, the most listened, most Watched episode that we've ever done because people were wanting it. They want to know. Yeah, they want to know the tea. And you go get the tea. But don't think that you're going to.

[Unnamed Host]

Get the tea, friend. You already know where I'm going.

[Kami Crawford]

Oh, my God. What?

[Unnamed Host]

Your man. Yeah, I'm going there because you get the relationship information on everybody else, and they man. And. And you said, Wizard Kelly will not be named and not be seen.

[Kami Crawford]

Nope.

[Unnamed Host]

Why are you choosing to keep that so private?

[Kami Crawford]

You know, I realized that after my last relationship. And, like, you know when you go back into your photo arsenal and, like, the things that you've posted and you go to delete everything or, like, archive pictures. I was archiving and deleting pictures where I was like, wait a minute. We took this picture when we were beefing. I posted this picture when we weren't in a good space. Who am I posting for? Like, is this for outside validation? Or, like, Valentine's Day would come around or birthdays would come around. It would be like, you haven't posted your man in a while. Are you guys still together?

[Unnamed Host]

Did you guys break up? Did you guys break up?

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah, because if you don't post somebody, it means that you're no longer in a relationship with them. Like, you can't possibly be happy.

[Unnamed Host]

There's literally people stalking other people's Instagrams waiting for you to take photos of your person down, waiting for you to not post them, waiting for you. Like, literally, if I post a picture of Ollie and I don't tag him, somebody's gonna be like, oh, she didn't tag him. Yeah, she didn't tag him.

[Kami Crawford]

She. What do you think that means? And everyone wants to, like, deep dive on things that don't even exist. Like, I posted a clip from the podcast where I was with Raven Ross from Love is Blind, and we were talking about boyfriend air and, like, how being around your boyfriend makes you uglier. Like, and obviously, like, yes, it's true, but also, like, it's in jest. Like, it's a joke. And I got a comment from someone, and they were like, you're laughing, but you don't think that it's strange that every time you're around your boyfriend, you get a pimple? And I'm like, well, first of all, Savannah, slow down.

[Unnamed Host]

I'm gonna get to your question.

[Kami Crawford]

One thing about it, my man is the most peaceful part of my life. He is my safe space. I can be my full, authentic self with him. But guess what? He has A beard. And he keeps that shaved. And so anytime he has a fresh shave and he kisses me all over my face, which is every single day.

[Unnamed Host]

After you get your skin care.

[Kami Crawford]

After I do a skin. I get. I have sensitive skin.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

I get pimples. Yeah. Everything's not that deep.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

I'm not saying that every time I'm around him that you might break out in hives. I'm just breaking out in hives. And I'm so overwhelmed and I'm so stressed. No, but people like to read into whatever they want to read into, and, like, I just let them. I think I have really enjoyed protecting what is important to me the most, and that is, like, my love, my family. I have five sisters. I'm the oldest of six girls. You never see my youngest sisters. You never see the twins, because I don't post and tag them because they are 18 years old. To me. They're children. There are certain things that I had to protect 100%, and my man is one of them.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. The world is ruthless. And as much as you think people are rooting for you, there's so many people praying they can't wait. Waiting on the downfall.

[Kami Crawford]

And by the way, the people who are smart have already found him. I would, if I was them, I would have been found him the first day. I'd been like, oh, yeah, yeah. But people have already found him. They send me his page all the time. They'll be like, oh, look, it's Mr. Blank. And like, they always.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They think they got one, like, to tell me, like, he's not a pro. He's not a secret. He is a real human.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

That's just my page and what I want to do on my page.

[Kami Crawford]

And when I see people in public that, like, listen to the podcast and they're like, I can't wait for you to show your man. I will show them him right there. He is not a secret.

[Unnamed Host]

This one.

[Kami Crawford]

This is him. Look it. Look.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

And we'll, like, Kiki about it or like, they'll see him out. And it's so funny because people will see him be like, it's Wizard Kelly.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

He's never seen the Proud Family.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, no.

[Kami Crawford]

He's never seen it.

[Unnamed Host]

Wait, say the Wizard Kelly reference for those who also haven't seen it.

[Kami Crawford]

If you have seen the Proud Family, people of a certain age, us millennials as millennials in the Proud Family. It was actually Shannon Sharpe. That was the voice of Wizard Kelly. That's so funny. He was a character he was a basketball player. He was so tall that, like, you never saw his full face. You only saw, like, his lips.

[Unnamed Host]

Because, like, from here down.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes. Cause he was always out of the frame. And so when I post my boyfriend, I always just put his lips. Sometimes, like, they'll get a new fan.

[Unnamed Host]

Size, the back of the head.

[Kami Crawford]

The comments are always so funny. Cause they'll be like, earlobe unlocked. Like, every.

[Unnamed Host]

We can piece a man together at this point.

[Kami Crawford]

It's a different picture. And, yeah, you gotta just imagine he's fine. That's all you gotta know.

[Unnamed Host]

That's all you need to know.

[Kami Crawford]

He's fine.

[Unnamed Host]

I'm crying. I love that because me and Ollie were private for so long.

[Kami Crawford]

You were.

[Unnamed Host]

And you even text me, you said, congratulations. Keep it private. That's when the rumors were starting to, like, you know, surface, and everybody was taking pictures and posting, and I. Obviously, I could not say anything, but I was enjoying not saying anything.

[Kami Crawford]

So nice.

[Unnamed Host]

We give so much.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

And now that we're public, we're loving it. Like, everyone's, you know, so sweet. But it's also like, I miss that bubble already.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

I really do.

[Kami Crawford]

And look at. But this is the other thing. Look at how much growth you can have in your relationship when you do keep it to yourselves. Y' all seemingly popped out engaged.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. That was the plan. Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

But you had.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, we had to do the work without the world.

[Kami Crawford]

And there is so much to be done that I think, you know people who are just, like, excited to introduce their partner to their family and friends. Like, okay, that's cute. But, like, we were able to have the real conversations before.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

You know, without people having their little hands.

[Unnamed Host]

Opinions. Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

I don't want your grubby little paws in my relationship, and I don't care. I don't give a damn.

[Unnamed Host]

Couldn't care less. Anyway, now that we clear that up, congratulations on your Webby Award. Now.

[Kami Crawford]

Very happy. Yeah, because, girl, I'm not gonna lie. Some days I'm like, I'm quitting.

[Unnamed Host]

No, I know. I saw.

[Kami Crawford]

I'm quitting. I think about quitting everything often. Often.

[Unnamed Host]

What was it this morning?

[Kami Crawford]

Being a bad bitch. You know, when you have to get.

[Unnamed Host]

Glam, you want to hang up the towel.

[Kami Crawford]

Like, why do I do this? Like, I had an eyebrow appointment this morning, and I love my girl, but, like, driving there, I'm like, what if I just said, fuck it?

[Unnamed Host]

But you showed up.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

And I love that.

[Kami Crawford]

And I love you. Duh.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay, so you give really, really great advice. Like, Relationship advice on your podcast, has that changed the way you approach your own relationship?

[Kami Crawford]

Yes, girl, yes.

[Unnamed Host]

So you don't just give it. You, you love it.

[Kami Crawford]

I have to take it. But, you know, so when I first started the podcast, I was getting out of a bad relationship. Well, I was actually still in it. And looking back, I'm like, the audacity of me to be giving advice. Who do I think I am, like, telling people to get into therapy when I myself had never even talked to a therapist before. Now I have since. Listen, I'm a rising Virgo. I can give the advice. I can tell you I know what I need to do. I know what I need to do. But what I'm doing is something completely different. But I was able to, like, document that growth with my listeners. And, you know, that, like, looking back was super helpful. But I definitely have learned a lot. I think, you know, my views on dating and things like that have changed. And being with a man, a man now, okay. Like, life has changed. I'm like, why? Anytime someone writes in about like a relationship where, you know, oh, my, my boyfriend doesn't appreciate me or he doesn't give me compliments or he makes me feel belittled, or I'm like, what are we even talking about?

[Unnamed Host]

Right? Why? Right?

[Kami Crawford]

Why are we even talking about this person? Get out of the relationship. There is someone 100 out there who is willing to give you every single thing that you need. 100 and can't wait. Can't wait to love you properly. So what? But I've been there.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

And not knowing. Sometimes, like the fear of not knowing what else is out there keeps you in a bad situation. Not anymore, honey. Goodbye.

[Unnamed Host]

I couldn't be me.

[Kami Crawford]

Let me tell you something.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay? Besides me, because I know you're gonna say me. Who is your all time favorite person that you've had on relationship?

[Kami Crawford]

You. Duh. Hello. No.

[Unnamed Host]

That was so lit. That was so lit. I think I'm gonna go home and play that.

[Kami Crawford]

We had such a good time. That was so fun and we were so funny.

[Unnamed Host]

I know.

[Kami Crawford]

I love that episode.

[Unnamed Host]

You know, I don't know. I think we talked about it. But to refresh, Kami is an avid reality show commentator. And like, she does it. She just does this in her free time. Like with the toast. She'll put on like a filter and she will just go in on all the shows.

[Kami Crawford]

Right?

[Unnamed Host]

So it just happened to be my turn.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes, yes.

[Unnamed Host]

And she is going in on the show and I'm like, I need to talk to this lady and say, yes, 100%. Everything you're saying, 100%. Little did I know you were already trying to get in touch.

[Kami Crawford]

And I DMed you, and I was.

[Unnamed Host]

Like, a d, hey, I need you on the show. And I was immediately, yes.

[Kami Crawford]

And I was shook immediately. I was so excited.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

I was so excited when you responded. It was the same thing with latia. Like, I DMed her, and she immediately was like, yes. I'm like, I just, you know, I gotta get the girls, especially the women of color, like, so important for whatever reason. And I've seen you talk about this on here. When it comes to people of color in our stories, like, the press really obviously eat up other people.

[Unnamed Host]

100.

[Kami Crawford]

Like, it's not. Or, you know, white contestants and people who are on certain shows. And it seems like good pr, but, like, you, your storyline was the. The moment. It was the press moment. And I'm looking at. Clip. And I'm looking at. I'm looking at all of these other interviews that are being done with other people, and I'm like, who gives a fuck about this? We need to talk about he who Shall Not Be Named. And Amber, because, like, that was the story.

[Unnamed Host]

That's what show is about.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

That is what the show is about from the beginning of the getting in the pod.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

Seeing it through to the end at the altar is the theme of the show.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

But what is highlighted is not that.

[Kami Crawford]

Right. And I don't like stuff like that.

[Unnamed Host]

Me either.

[Kami Crawford]

So being someone who loves reality TV and wants our stories to be told in the way that we can only tell them ourselves and, like, women can only tell ourselves. Yeah. I'm gonna reach out to the girls. I'm gonna collect all y' all, like, infinity stones. I'm like, these are all my girls.

[Unnamed Host]

Come on, baby.

[Kami Crawford]

Come on, girls. This is a safe space.

[Unnamed Host]

Yes.

[Kami Crawford]

God, I mean, there's been so many good ones.

[Unnamed Host]

You had Morgan recently.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

Morgan Bailey, guy from Atlanta.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes. And I really love that one. Again, another infinity stone.

[Unnamed Host]

Because, like, give our girls a space.

[Kami Crawford]

Give us a space. Give us a chance. Like, people, of course, had a lot to say about that interview. And just, like, I don't even like calling them interviews, because to me, it's just, like, we just talking.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

But people had a lot to say because they have their own preconceived notions, and sometimes people already have it made up in their mind what they want to think about you. But I just feel like having your own space to talk about your own is important. And that's where relationship comes from. It's not always about romance. Sometimes it's just about, like, I want to talk about what's important to me.

[Unnamed Host]

I want to tell what's real for me. For me.

[Kami Crawford]

Exactly.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. And you create that space, and I hope to do that here as well.

[Kami Crawford]

You do.

[Unnamed Host]

Thank you. Outside of podcasting and you've done the reality TV bit, what would you say is your dream job?

[Kami Crawford]

I am currently in the process of producing my own shows.

[Unnamed Host]

Come on.

[Kami Crawford]

That is my dream.

[Unnamed Host]

Like, what kind of shows?

[Kami Crawford]

I love true crime. I love documentary. I love reality, obviously. I love dating. So, like, for me, anything in that wheelhouse is. That's my vibe.

[Unnamed Host]

I can see that.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

So you have been hosting reality TV shows for over six years. I see Catfish Ex on the beach. Are you the one? What has reality TV taught you about you?

[Kami Crawford]

I think what it's taught me about me is, like, how dedicated I am to this job. Like, even for Catfish. Like I said, I'm technically just a host. I don't have any producer credits. I'm not, you know, I don't get any royalties from anything that's on the Internet or streaming or what have you. But I watch every single edit before it goes to the network and goes live on television because I care about the way that we tell people's stories and the things that. That are important to them. So if we're, you know, doing an episode with someone who is trans or who's queer in any capacity, or someone who's a person of color and has gone through microaggressions or racism, or if we're dealing with someone who, you know, has been through sex trafficking, like, we've had a lot of these kinds of really heavy conversations, and I would never want for that to be showcased on television in a flippant light. Like, these are real conversations. And let's face it, like, people who watch reality TV come from all over the world, all over the country. It's not just people in la. It's not just people in New York. It's all the people in the middle. And if you've never met a trans person or never encountered a black person or had a black person as a friend, you don't know our stories. You don't know.

[Unnamed Host]

And that can't be the first thing. Time.

[Kami Crawford]

Exactly. And if it is the first time.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. It has to be right.

[Kami Crawford]

It's gotta be right.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

And I wanna make sure that you have all the information so that maybe your mind changes or if you are a queer person who lives in the middle of Bumblefuck usa. Yeah, no shade, but like, maybe you are and you need to see someone who looks like you. That representation is everything. And so for me, if I can, you know, go through and be like, hey, we gave some context to what this means when we were talking about microaggressions here. We need to include something that, you know, proves. Yes. Or. Or just like a moment where I'm talking about what a microaggression is. We can't just assume that the audience knows.

[Unnamed Host]

Right, Right.

[Kami Crawford]

So that's what it's taught me about myself is that, like, I have always had a producer mindset. I don't know if it's being the eldest daughter or if it's being a Virgo rising, but, like, my mind is always on the details.

[Unnamed Host]

When we talk about we need people in that's. This is what we mean. We mean we need women that appreciate other people's stories, that have the bigger vision, that understand, like, a job needs to get done, but it needs to get done where everyone feels seen, heard and represented. And this is what we mean when we say we need us in the room. Because having you in spaces like casting, production, directing can change the game for so many. I mean that with my heart because, like, that also just kind of sparked something in my brain. It's like I actually maybe need to step behind the scenes a little bit because I know what it feels like to feel misrepresented or not represented or not seen or being like, well, maybe if you would have kept in that one line I said everything would make sense. You might not get it, but there's a large population of people that would understand exactly what I said.

[Kami Crawford]

Context.

[Unnamed Host]

Context is everything.

[Kami Crawford]

So important. It's everything. The Starbucks Summer Berry Refresher is officially back. Bold notes of raspberry, blueberry and BlackBerry shaken with ice and poured over raspberry flavored pearls.

[Unnamed Host]

Try it with lemonade or coconut milk.

[Kami Crawford]

Available for a limited time. Your summer Berry Refresher is ready at Starbucks.

[Carl's Jr. Ad Voice]

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[Kami Crawford]

And then what it's taught me about other people is that like People just want to be loved. And sometimes that looks weird, and sometimes it comes from weird places. Like, Rihanna says she found love in a hopeless place. Okay, what's the problem?

[Unnamed Host]

So why can't we.

[Kami Crawford]

Why can't everybody else? So what?

[Unnamed Host]

So as a black woman, how do you feel the current representation of black women on reality tv, like, is. How do you feel about it?

[Kami Crawford]

I mean, we're definitely here. But again, like, when it comes to those bigger. Right. When it comes to those bigger press moments, we're not being chosen. Our stories are being overlooked. The fact that Latia had not been on a podcast already or hadn't been, you know, obviously people contacted her, but, like, some of the bigger ones may have not. Because they're not thinking right about her.

[Unnamed Host]

Right.

[Kami Crawford]

Because she's a woman of color. That's bullshit.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

And I'm speaking, like, for her, obviously, like, the reason why I went back to watch the rest of the season was because of how she handled herself at the final rose ceremony. You know, it's like we are making moves, right? We are. Like, these are things that we're doing, but they're not being appreciated in the same vein and they're not being amplified in the same way. So I think we're here. There are certain shows that I'm like, you know, I don't watch baddies. Yeah, I don't watch. I really don't even watch the Real Housewives like that. There are certain women that I support who are part of the franchise. But, like.

[Unnamed Host]

So you're not caught up on the latest Kenya Moore?

[Kami Crawford]

I'm fairly caught up on that girl. Fairly caught up on that. But I don't have, like, a. A strong opinion yet as far as.

[Unnamed Host]

I'm gonna let you watch it and then call me.

[Kami Crawford]

All I know is that illegal things were being done.

[Unnamed Host]

Illegal things.

[Kami Crawford]

And you can't do illegal shit just because you're on tv.

[Unnamed Host]

And now you're fired.

[Kami Crawford]

And now you're fired.

[Unnamed Host]

That breaks my heart for everybody involved.

[Kami Crawford]

She's also had such a long career that, like, for it to end in this kind of moment, like at the.

[Unnamed Host]

Opening of her spa. Yes, I feel that breaks your heart.

[Kami Crawford]

I know that breaks my heart. But, you know, listen.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, we all have choices.

[Kami Crawford]

We don't have to offline about that.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, I do want to talk about it. We'll talk about it later. What is your favorite reality show and who. Who's your favorite all time reality star?

[Kami Crawford]

AD from Love is Blind.

[Unnamed Host]

You guys, I can't make this up. I really Truly cannot make this up. Okay.

[Kami Crawford]

No, I do. I love. Love is Blind. That's one of my favorites. I love Love Island. Like, I've been watching. Don't listen to this. I've been. If you are from the Love island production team or any network. I've been watching Love island and X on the beach since I had to get, like, a fake VPN to watch it from the uk.

[Unnamed Host]

Girl, you're going to jail.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Ad Voice]

Whoops.

[Kami Crawford]

Incriminating evidence. Allegedly.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

Everything's alleged.

[Unnamed Host]

Allegedly.

[Kami Crawford]

Nothing can be proven, but I absolutely did do that.

[Unnamed Host]

Did you watch the most recent season of Love Island USA with, like, Serena?

[Kami Crawford]

No. Which was a huge fucking missed opportunity for me. I just wasn't. I honestly, I was in, like, full catfish, like, lane, like, figuring out if I was gonna leave the show, like, what. What I was gonna do next with my life and adding shows to my life.

[Unnamed Host]

Felt like it's not too late to run it back.

[Kami Crawford]

I know, I know. And I love Serene. I met Serena and Cordell and I. I love both of them. So, yeah, definitely gonna have them on the pod at some point. But my all time favorite reality TV star, the hbic, Tiffany Pollard.

[Unnamed Host]

Come on.

[Kami Crawford]

Hello.

[Unnamed Host]

Come on. She started this game.

[Kami Crawford]

I quote her at least once a day.

[Unnamed Host]

She's the queen.

[Kami Crawford]

That is my girl.

[Unnamed Host]

She's the queen. New York.

[Kami Crawford]

Give it up. Delicious. That's my girl. She's so funny. She's so funny. Like, intentionally and unintentionally.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. And growing up watching, like, flavor of love 1. What are we, like, this big?

[Kami Crawford]

We should have never been watching that.

[Unnamed Host]

Should have never been watching that. And it should have, but we didn't realize how pivotal it would be in our culture. Like, she's still here. She's still the queen of still in the motherfucking house. Still. Of course still.

[Kami Crawford]

She is. She is exactly who she thinks she is.

[Unnamed Host]

100%.

[Kami Crawford]

And I.

[Unnamed Host]

She's who she thinks she is. She's who she thought she was.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah. Period. Period.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, my God.

[Kami Crawford]

I would watch a live stream of her just existing.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

Like Big Brother style. But just her in the house.

[Unnamed Host]

Yes.

[Kami Crawford]

She's so.

[Unnamed Host]

Just her talking to herself.

[Kami Crawford]

She's so good.

[Unnamed Host]

What show would you go?

[Kami Crawford]

Fine. You know, a lot of people have been asking me lately if I would ever go on Traders.

[Unnamed Host]

I could see you on Trader.

[Kami Crawford]

Would you come?

[Unnamed Host]

Duh.

[Kami Crawford]

We should both be on Traders.

[Unnamed Host]

That'd be lit.

[Kami Crawford]

How do we, like, submit together?

[Unnamed Host]

That's a submission. That is a submission.

[Kami Crawford]

This is our application. Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

That would be so Lit. Would you want to be a trader?

[Kami Crawford]

I don't know. I'm not towing.

[Unnamed Host]

Ooh, we're starting early. Okay, maybe I'm not going with you. I thought we had a alliance.

[Kami Crawford]

I'm not telling.

[Unnamed Host]

Damn.

[Kami Crawford]

I would tell you. Cause you wouldn't snitch.

[Unnamed Host]

No, I wouldn't.

[Kami Crawford]

No. You would snitch on me if you.

[Unnamed Host]

Told me you were a traitor. If you told me you can't snitch on me.

[Kami Crawford]

I didn't snitch on you and Ollie, you're a traitor.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, that's facts.

[Kami Crawford]

Hello.

[Unnamed Host]

That is facts. No, I wouldn't. I would be like, bring me in. Make me a traitor.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, I would definitely.

[Kami Crawford]

Come on.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. We get the money together.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay. That's our submission audition video.

[Kami Crawford]

I think we. We got it.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay, let's talk a body image and modeling.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

You've been talking about your Caribbean household growing up where curves were celebrated. How did that influence you in a way that you viewed your body growing up?

[Kami Crawford]

You know, I always say, like, I didn't grow up up with a mom who critiqued her body. And I think that that helped me a lot because I have a lot of friends, girlfriends who, like their moms, talk badly about their bodies, and, like, they're just girls. Like, I think as we get older, we realize, like, our moms are just.

[Unnamed Host]

Girls just doing their absolute best.

[Kami Crawford]

They're just doing their best. And, like, yeah, of course, we all have moments when we look at ourselves in the mirror and we don't recognize ourselves. And I can't even imagine, like, after having kids and life changes and just.

[Unnamed Host]

Like, a beauty standard back then, the.

[Kami Crawford]

Beauty standard, like, life just happens and you get older. Like, things on my body aren't in the same place that they used to be. I look at myself, I'm like, oh, that's new. Interesting thought. My areolas were done growing in size, but I guess not. They grow an inch every day. Every single day. Only areola now I'm like, oh, she's areola titty. Got it. Anyway, but not having that. That as, like, a standard of, like, oh, every time you look at yourself in the mirror, you should say something negative to yourself about yourself. I think it helped with the way that I would see myself because I didn't think to do that.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

In the mirror. Does that make sense?

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

And just, like, knowing that having curves were celebrated and like, that, it's just in the Caribbean, like, being skinny is technically, like, a bad thing. Like, my mom got made fun of for being skinny when she was a kid.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

Because they would say, like, if you're too skinny, then that means you can't cook.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. They call my mom Slim.

[Kami Crawford]

Slim.

[Unnamed Host]

Slim. See, that would never fly today.

[Kami Crawford]

No.

[Unnamed Host]

Ever.

[Kami Crawford]

What?

[Unnamed Host]

You can't call a woman Slim. No, like, that was her nickname growing up. Slim. And she's still pretty Slim. She's fire.

[Kami Crawford]

You know, she's like, hey, it's me.

[Unnamed Host]

She a baddie? Yes.

[Kami Crawford]

Oh, I already know. I already know. I've seen her on tv.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, she's fun.

[Kami Crawford]

But, yeah, I feel like that it's only helped me with my own perception of myself and then also having sisters. Like, I'm the oldest of six girls who all have different shapes and sizes and colors and we're all different. And, like, if I'm constantly on myself.

[Unnamed Host]

What are we teaching?

[Kami Crawford]

What am I teaching them?

[Unnamed Host]

The oldest of five girls. Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

Did I know this?

[Unnamed Host]

I think my mom had seven kids, so I have two older brothers. Then there's me, and then there's four girls under me.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah, you're the oldest girl.

[Unnamed Host]

Oldest girl.

[Kami Crawford]

So you get it. Like, you have to. I'm constantly telling my sisters how gorgeous they are, how smart they are, how, like, beautiful human beings they are. My mom always did that to me. She always did that to my sisters. And so I. Yeah, I just. This. Life is too short to. On yourself all the time. What are we doing? We only have one body. Like, if you don't. In my mind, if you are not happy with something, change it. Work on it.

[Unnamed Host]

That part.

[Kami Crawford]

Go to the gym. Call.

[Unnamed Host]

Get on the. Get on that surgery bed.

[Kami Crawford]

Get on that table. Do what you got to do. I don't judge anybody. Yeah, no, don't do anything that's going to, like. Yeah, no. Your life is the most important thing.

[Unnamed Host]

But, like, there's a solution for almost everything.

[Kami Crawford]

There's a solution these days. Okay. I didn't like the fact that, you know, I make so many faces all the time on catfish that I started to get a line in the middle. I got Botox.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. Is mine gone?

[Kami Crawford]

You had one. I had.

[Unnamed Host]

Come on. Come on.

[Kami Crawford]

Or should we not raise our eyebrows and just be.

[Unnamed Host]

I think I'm due. I think I'm due. I really, truly do.

[Kami Crawford]

But, yeah, I get baby Botox because I'm afraid of, like, freezing because my face is so animated.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

I can't not have it. But, like, who cares? Who actually cares? And if people are going to judge you for it, then, like, that's on them, I'm all about. I think I used to skew more, you know, body positive, but now I'm more like body neutrality, body autonomy. Like, we have this body. This is the one that we have. What are we going to do about it?

[Unnamed Host]

Right, right.

[Kami Crawford]

Like just being at peace and being at peace with the changes that your body is going to go through. My body is. My weight has fluctuated my entire life. I cannot be attached to any version of it because none of them exist anymore. The one that I have right now is the one that I got right.

[Unnamed Host]

And the one that I woke up with this morning is already. What time is it? Exactly what time is it? I'm already a different person.

[Kami Crawford]

Our hormones. I got off birth control. After 18 years of being on birth control. I didn't recognize myself. I said, wait a minute. Wait. I'm looking at pictures. Hey, slow down. This cannot be the face everybody else is looking at. And so I didn't like it. So you know what I did? I booked a bunch of solid core classes.

[Unnamed Host]

Love me some solid core.

[Kami Crawford]

I got my life together.

[Unnamed Host]

I really do.

[Kami Crawford]

We have to go together.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, we do. 100%. We'll make that happen.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

So in 2010, you were crowned Miss Teen USA.

[Kami Crawford]

I was.

[Unnamed Host]

And you were the first black winner in almost a year, a decade.

[Kami Crawford]

Y.

[Unnamed Host]

How'd that make you feel, girl?

[Kami Crawford]

What? You know, I had never competed in pageants before.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

So I competed at Miss Maryland Teen usa. That was my first pageant. And then from there you go to nationals. So Miss Teen USA was my second pageant ever. So I was not aware what a stage, the pageantry game that they came from.

[Unnamed Host]

Top thoughts.

[Kami Crawford]

I was not aware. I also was not aware of the fandom that is pageantry. Y' all think that, you know, the Love island people, the Love is Blind people, Bachelor Nation. You think that those are something. Let me tell you something about pageant people. Oh, they are.

[Unnamed Host]

I've seen toddlers in tears, bananas.

[Kami Crawford]

And they have very strong opinions, and they come from all over the world, and they are brutal. And I was 16, 17 years old. I was not. I wasn't. I didn't know. I didn't know. And I quickly got to know through the experience. It changed my life. Obviously, I wouldn't have even known that being in front of the camera was something that I wanted to do at the time. I wanted to be a dermatologist. I wasn't even thinking about television.

[Unnamed Host]

Right.

[Kami Crawford]

I. I had never thought about anything that wasn't a traditional career path. And so through that Experience. I got that, you know, in front of camera. Experience. And I was like, oh, hosting could be something that I could be good at. But the. From having not done a pageant and not being familiar with pageantry to doing one and, like, going in full force, you have to assimilate in a way that I. I don't think that I could have anticipated. And also, being a teenager, like, it's very. Yeah, you're very vulnerable. To.

[Unnamed Host]

Susceptible.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes, exactly. And, yeah, afterwards, I had a lot of unlearning to do a lot of things that, like, I didn't grow up with, you know, body issues or.

[Unnamed Host]

Now all of a sudden.

[Kami Crawford]

Now all of a sudden, I'm, like, thinking in ways that I never used to think before, thinking about myself in ways that I didn't think before, because other people are telling me.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

That this is. Yeah. Like, you could literally tell a pageant person, like, orange is my color. Like, I just love orange. I look so great in orange. It makes me feel the most confident. And, Yeah. I just really love when I wear orange. And they'd be like, orange is not your color. And now you should be wearing black.

[Unnamed Host]

You go home and throw away all.

[Kami Crawford]

Of your arms, and now you're like, oh, shit. Okay, well, my evening gown is orange.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

My interview dress is orange. Everything that I've packed for the entire weekend, my theme is Orange Dreamsicle.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

Superstar Barbie. And now your crush. You got a rebrand.

[Unnamed Host]

Now you're Orange Crush.

[Kami Crawford]

Now you're Orange Crush. Now it's done. Now you're wearing black, and that's not your color, and you don't shine. And, like, people have a lot of opinions.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

And they try to impose them. Adults. Adults.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, adults.

[Kami Crawford]

Adults. Which is the craziest part. Like, y' all don't have time.

[Unnamed Host]

Why are you in the room?

[Kami Crawford]

Aren't you supposed to be clocking?

[Unnamed Host]

Why are you here?

[Kami Crawford]

Why are you here in my Facebook messages, telling me that you don't like my choice of evening gown or, like, grilling me about just things that, like, you shouldn't be talking to a child about. And so, you know, you just have to unlearn those things. And then even, like, the, you know, political correctness that comes with being a beauty queen and, like, what people expect for you to say versus what you actually think and feel. I can't tell you how many beauty queens I meet now who will be like, you literally say everything that we wish we could say. Like, I wish I could say that. I wish I could. And even people who aren't in pageants anymore. They're like, I wish I could. Why can't you?

[Unnamed Host]

Right. Do you still have, like, ties to that industry?

[Kami Crawford]

Not as far as like the organization is concerned, but like, I know the pageant girl still. I still have some friends from my year and then I, you know, have collected other pageant girls over the years and I can spot a pageant girl from a mile away.

[Unnamed Host]

What about me? Am I a pageant girl? Have I ever done a pageant?

[Kami Crawford]

I'll be honest with you, the NFL NBA cheerleader to pageantry pipeline is very close. So you could have done one. You could have, did you? No, I'm like, you could have.

[Unnamed Host]

I could have. And I would have ate down.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

I thought about it. I thought about it often, but I was just like, it's just not. It's not my thing. Yeah, it's not my thing.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah. I feel like if you were, you would have done one and either won and like kept it going or quit.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. And then I know, like the body standards. I am a dark skinned black woman with curves. And then you watch it on tv, you get the dark skin, you get the black woman, but the curves, they leave those backstage 1,000%. And those bikinis. There's no way I would feel so self conscious in the real world. Body goes crazy, girl.

[Kami Crawford]

What?

[Unnamed Host]

Body goes crazy.

[Kami Crawford]

Body tea.

[Unnamed Host]

Not on that stage. Not so much. And that would have tore me up because I already faced a lot of that in NFL and like NBA where it's just like I was told one time, like, you're perfect where you are. Don't gain any weight, don't lose any weight. And I'm just like, so I need to lose some weight.

[Kami Crawford]

Okay. Yeah, right.

[Unnamed Host]

I need to lose some weight.

[Kami Crawford]

That's.

[Unnamed Host]

And that's, that's how I internalize that.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah. I had gotten down to a size 0 by the time I went to Miss Teen USA. But if you're not naturally, like, if your body is not naturally composed to be a size zero, you're going to look bigger than a natural size 0.

[Unnamed Host]

What do you hope young girls who see you on like social media and TV and Sports Illustrated and listen to your podcast, what do you hope they take away from that?

[Kami Crawford]

You can do whatever you want to do. There's nothing that you can't do. And you should eliminate anyone from your life who makes you feel like you have to limit yourself heard. I don't care who it is. I say it could be your granny.

[Unnamed Host]

Bye, grandma.

[Kami Crawford]

Bye, grandma. Love ya.

[Unnamed Host]

See you at Thanksgiving.

[Kami Crawford]

See you at Thanksgiving. I don't have to talk to you on a regular basis if you make me feel like I'm not that girl.

[Unnamed Host]

Right.

[Kami Crawford]

Bye.

[Unnamed Host]

Right, Right.

[Kami Crawford]

Exit stages.

[Unnamed Host]

There's so many people that will cheerlead for you that sticking around the wrong crowds will have you down in the dumps thinking that you're not her.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes. Relationships, too.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

Significant others. If they make you feel like you can't shine, gotta blast. You gotta go. I've been there, where you don't even recognize yourself in the mirror because you're like, I have dimmed my light so far down that there's none left. I've given it all to this person. No.

[Unnamed Host]

Go where you're loved, not tolerated. I think that is something that I think I wake up every day and say to myself, if I start feeling like, oh, I'm just being tolerated. Oh, I'm just here. And people are just, it's time to go.

[Kami Crawford]

You gotta go.

[Unnamed Host]

Go where the love is. Go where the support is. Go where people are, like, championing for you.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Cause I mean, time is so short and time is amazing. The essence. And you don't want to waste it on somebody that's tolerating you, whether it's work, family, relationships, like friends. Oh, go where you're love.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah, I know. The only time that it gets tricky is, like, at your job.

[Unnamed Host]

Even still. But even still, start building in the background.

[Kami Crawford]

Start building something else. Like put the feelers out there. You don't have to be miserable.

[Unnamed Host]

We're in such a good time, too. It's 20, 25 good time in a.

[Kami Crawford]

Scary bad time sometimes, you know. But you know what the best thing about the world being such a clusterfuck is that you can literally do whatever you want.

[Unnamed Host]

Do whatever you want. Now is the time.

[Kami Crawford]

Now is the time.

[Unnamed Host]

You can literally be a president. You can literally be the President of the United States.

[Kami Crawford]

You can be whoever you want to be. Literally. Literally, you can run the world.

[Unnamed Host]

You can run the world.

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[Kami Crawford]

And it's fine. Like, you should be. I've thought about this because, you know, I. I worked on Kamala's campaign, and, like, I've been very heavily involved in politics in the past year, and, you know, I was just like, am I gonna be down in the dumps about the state of the world, the state of our union for forever, or should I just focus on me? Focus on what I can control.

[Unnamed Host]

Hello? 92%.

[Kami Crawford]

Build my own shit.

[Unnamed Host]

Hello. Hello.

[Kami Crawford]

That's what I'm gonna do.

[Unnamed Host]

And that's where the focus should be. That's where the focus should be.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

Let's gauge your opinion on this. You're falling for someone, but you have opposite, opposite political views. How do you navigate that? And what would you. What would you do, Juan? And how would you suggest.

[Kami Crawford]

We wouldn't even be having this conversation.

[Unnamed Host]

Because you would have known in the first three seconds.

[Kami Crawford]

Well, you know what? What's crazy is that these days, you really don't know.

[Unnamed Host]

You don't.

[Kami Crawford]

So you do have to ask those questions. You can't ignore it. And. And for me, there is no relationship, because here's the thing about different political beliefs. We're not in a day and age where political beliefs are just political beliefs.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. They're tied into morality.

[Kami Crawford]

They're tied into morality. They're tied into safety, human rights. If you don't value my safety as a woman, as a black person, as a human being. As a human being, you know, for queer people being in a relationship with someone who, or even just like if you have queer friends or queer family like I do, I have trans women as friends. If you don't support the same political beliefs as me, then, or at least, you know, if we don't have the same values and you vote differently than I did politically, then that means that you voted against all those people that I care about.

[Unnamed Host]

Right?

[Kami Crawford]

No.

[Unnamed Host]

Right.

[Kami Crawford]

I don't want to be with anyone who is racist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic, anti semitic, none of those things. I don't want to be with anyone.

[Unnamed Host]

Right.

[Kami Crawford]

Who is anti human beings. Ableist, like the list goes on and on. I'm very strict around here and I.

[Unnamed Host]

Love it as, as you should be.

[Kami Crawford]

Very strict because you know what I've realized is that, that when people have different political beliefs in certain areas and when you watch the tone of politics and the way that it goes, there's a pattern. Anytime government or people start coming for minority groups, in the end they always come back to black people and they always come back to black women first. Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

The first target.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

So when they're rolling back trans rights, what you think they about to do to us? What do you think they're going to do to us? Because they already use transphobia to degrade and demean black women all the time. Look at Michelle Obama. Look at Sierra.

[Unnamed Host]

Serena.

[Kami Crawford]

Look at Serena. Like what? Especially if you're brown or dark skinned.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, it's over. It's a rap.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah. No, I don't even want to date a man who's colorist.

[Unnamed Host]

No.

[Kami Crawford]

I don't even want to date a man who's only dated light skinned women.

[Unnamed Host]

Because what's, what's the real tea.

[Kami Crawford]

No.

[Unnamed Host]

Right, right.

[Kami Crawford]

For me it's a hard, hard. No, really. I don't want to be with a man who talk, talks badly about brown skin or dark skinned women, period.

[Unnamed Host]

It's not cute. It's not funny.

[Kami Crawford]

No.

[Unnamed Host]

And it doesn't. I think a lot of people fail to realize that. You can't big me up by talking shit about another woman. I will immediately look at you and be like, yes.

[Kami Crawford]

Oh, whoa, yes.

[Unnamed Host]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Red flag. That doesn't make me feel good. If you're like, I can't stand this type of Woman.

[Kami Crawford]

No.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay. No, that's not. I'm not gonna be like, oh, perfect.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, perfect, great. That's disgusting.

[Kami Crawford]

Can you imagine? And like, for light skinned women like myself, like, I can't stand that shit. I think it's so corny. I think it's so corny. I will never ever be attracted to that kind of mentality because my sisters are brown and dark skinned, my friends are brown and dark skinned, Our children could be brown and dark skinned.

[Unnamed Host]

Come on. So you're gonna tell me you're gonna hate our baby?

[Kami Crawford]

What?

[Unnamed Host]

Can't do that.

[Kami Crawford]

What are you gonna do? What do you think about your mother? What? No.

[Unnamed Host]

What do you think about yourself?

[Kami Crawford]

What do you think about yourself?

[Unnamed Host]

That's where it stands. That's where it stems.

[Kami Crawford]

So, no, the answer is hard. Absolutely the not.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, yeah. Because political views and morality are one and the same.

[Kami Crawford]

Linked.

[Unnamed Host]

Are one and the same Linked. Don't talk to me about taxes and tariffs. You have no money.

[Kami Crawford]

Please.

[Unnamed Host]

You don't have no money. I don't want to hear nothing about tax. You don't have no money.

[Kami Crawford]

Oh, my God. Especially the crypto bros. Like, give me a break.

[Unnamed Host]

Now we can switch the tone up a little bit.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

A little game time called love it or leave it.

[Kami Crawford]

Oh, God. I feel like I'm going to say leave it to everything. Go ahead.

[Unnamed Host]

Basically, we're gonna react to some popular dating trends and viral relationship advice and decide if we love it or leave it.

[Kami Crawford]

Okay.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay. So birth order compatibility, where you and your partner fall and your family's birth order can affect the success of your relationship. For example, the oldest son and the youngest daughter are super compatible.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay.

[Kami Crawford]

I agree with that.

[Unnamed Host]

So I don't know.

[Kami Crawford]

I don't know if two oldest siblings, like, could be together. Like, unless you're an only child. I think two, like, only children do really well together because, like, they know how to play by themselves. Yeah, but like, two eldest siblings, where.

[Unnamed Host]

Does your man fall?

[Kami Crawford]

He's middle.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay.

[Kami Crawford]

And I'm the oldest. And I think as a middle child he has had to be like the middle man in life and, like, make sure that everyone's good. And as the oldest, I can absolutely lead, but I love being with someone who does it for me because I'm always doing it.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

You know?

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

But if you have two eldest siblings and you're both always the leader who gets to like or take a break?

[Unnamed Host]

Spoiled last siblings.

[Kami Crawford]

Oh, God. I don't know if two babies can be together.

[Unnamed Host]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Kami Crawford]

No. What about you and Ollie?

[Unnamed Host]

I'm third, and Ollie is. Is fourth.

[Kami Crawford]

Okay.

[Unnamed Host]

Or fifth.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

So he's got. Youngest.

[Kami Crawford]

He's got four sisters.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, four or five sisters. I hope I'm not.

[Kami Crawford]

Wow.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. And he's the second youngest.

[Kami Crawford]

Okay. Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

And I'm the oldest girl.

[Kami Crawford]

Right.

[Unnamed Host]

So there's a little.

[Kami Crawford]

But he has sisters, so he knows how that. Like, I think that all of those things play a role.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

So, yeah, I believe in that.

[Unnamed Host]

So we love it.

[Kami Crawford]

I love it.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay. Love it or leave it. Active listening. When having a conversation with your partner, think of listening as a gift of intention and not as receiving information.

[Kami Crawford]

You know, I am an active listener. So, like, if I'm having a conversation with you, obviously I'm like, yes, correct. Right. I'm also just a yapper, so.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah. But if I'm talking to my man and he's doing that to me while I'm telling something, I don't know if I like it that much.

[Unnamed Host]

I need you to actively shove.

[Kami Crawford]

Cause I'm gonna think that you are thinking that I'm a joke. Yeah. Even though that's not how I do it with, like, my girls. Like, we always actively listen like you. But, like, if we're having a conversation and I'm telling him how he hurt my feelings or something like that, which he. I don't have that experience. But, like, if we're having conversation like that, and he's like, yes. Right. No. Yes. I totally get that. Shh. Quiet. Resylent or silent? He. Resilient.

[Unnamed Host]

Leave it.

[Kami Crawford]

Leave it.

[Unnamed Host]

No, I need Ollie to actively listen. I need him to actively be engaged. Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

Be engaged.

[Unnamed Host]

And I need you to be like, yep. Mm. Yep.

[Kami Crawford]

What if he doesn't agree?

[Unnamed Host]

Then tell me after. But actively listen to me in the moment. Cause that will piss me off. Like, I really.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah. Don't stare at me blankly.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

But don't, like, interject while I'm talking to you.

[Unnamed Host]

You know what I told him the other day?

[Kami Crawford]

Oh, tell me.

[Unnamed Host]

We were, like, going back and forth. It was pretty heated. And he goes, can I talk? Can I talk? And I said, yeah, but I want you to know, if you lie, I'm interjecting, and I'm interrupting you. And he's like, well, never mind. And I'm just like, okay, go ahead. Go ahead, Go ahead. You can talk. You can talk.

[Kami Crawford]

See? And that's the time I warned him.

[Unnamed Host]

That I was gonna interrupt. Cause sometimes the stories go left, and I'm like, let's get Back on track.

[Kami Crawford]

Well, see, that's the other part.

[Unnamed Host]

Because if I'm active listening. Active. Stay on track.

[Kami Crawford]

Because I will absolutely interject when he's telling me something, but I want him to do it to me.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

Don't do it to me because I'm a hypocrite.

[Unnamed Host]

Don't do it to me like, can I talk?

[Kami Crawford]

Yes. Can I talk to me? That's active listening.

[Unnamed Host]

I'm helping you get your point out.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

The correct way is how I see it.

[Kami Crawford]

Because the way that you're saying it and the way that I remember it wrong, and guess who's right?

[Unnamed Host]

Me. So let me interject. But you actively listen, Right? Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah, I think I agree with that. I don't know if I want to love that one or leave it.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, well, it depends. It depends on who needs the listening.

[Kami Crawford]

Because also, if I'm telling him a story about, like, Tell him. Let's pretend like it's not an argument or like, something that we're disagreeing on because we don't really fight, but we disagree for sure. If I'm telling him a story about somebody who had me up. I need you engaged. I need, like, I need to have my back.

[Unnamed Host]

She said what? What? Wait, so you were just minding your business?

[Kami Crawford]

Exactly.

[Unnamed Host]

You were just minding your business.

[Kami Crawford]

You were just minding your business.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay, that's.

[Kami Crawford]

I need him to be in on that. Yeah. Yeah. But if I'm telling you something, I need you to sit there and I need you to listen till I'm done.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah. And then have a full conversation about it. Yeah, yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

And then go get me a matcha. Aw. It's a peace offering.

[Unnamed Host]

I love that we love a matcha. Okay, so that one's love it and leave it.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah, it depends.

[Unnamed Host]

Depend. Yeah. Okay.

[Carl's Jr. Ad Voice]

Okay.

[Unnamed Host]

Olive Theory. Originally from How I Met yout Mother. But our relationship will only succeed if one person hates olives and the other one loves them. Love it or leave it.

[Kami Crawford]

I've never heard of this.

[Unnamed Host]

I've heard that before.

[Kami Crawford]

However, that's my relationship. He could eat. I just watched him the other day eat an entire bowl full of olives, and I was looking at him like, that's disgusting.

[Unnamed Host]

That's my relationship. But I love olives.

[Kami Crawford]

Really?

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

I don't get the olive. I was just talking yesterday about dirty martinis, which I think are disgusting.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah, that's a different level of.

[Kami Crawford]

I feel like we're being gaslit into.

[Unnamed Host]

Liking dirty martini gasoline.

[Kami Crawford]

Why are you trying to convince me that this is good?

[Unnamed Host]

Not Good.

[Kami Crawford]

It tastes like ass literal.

[Unnamed Host]

Like rubbing alcohol. Yes. With a olive in it.

[Kami Crawford]

With a pickly twist when they shove.

[Unnamed Host]

The blue cheese in it. You've taken it too far.

[Kami Crawford]

You've lost me.

[Unnamed Host]

You've taken it too far.

[Kami Crawford]

You've lost me.

[Unnamed Host]

But that. Okay, I don't know if I'm going to lose you here, but. But that is in the same category with. What are those drinks people have the next day when they're hungover at brunch? Bloody mayonnaise tomato thing.

[Kami Crawford]

Absolutely not. Absolutely.

[Unnamed Host]

You're not gonna gaslight me into thinking your tomato vodka.

[Kami Crawford]

No.

[Unnamed Host]

Pickle bacon juice.

[Kami Crawford]

No, is good. Stop. Stop.

[Unnamed Host]

Get yourself a mimosa or an espresso martini.

[Kami Crawford]

Get some hair of the dog. Why are we drinking tomatoes soup? To get rid of a hangover.

[Unnamed Host]

No, not doing it.

[Kami Crawford]

I've never had one. It looks disgusting. It is disgusting. It makes me sick.

[Unnamed Host]

I'm not even hungover tomato. I don't know what it is. When I used to bartend and it would come in this little plastic thing and. Anyway. So how did we get there? Olives. I love olives. I believe it's kind of true because I've dated a lot of men that don't like olives.

[Kami Crawford]

I just don't. It's not.

[Unnamed Host]

That's fine, guys. I don't like olives. Olives are bomb. I'll eat them right out the jar, girl.

[Kami Crawford]

I did have an olive. Like, literally three olives the other day. I think I was on a plane. And like, you know when they come by. Sometimes when I'm on planes, I just be trying, whatever, because it's like, it's first class. It's free. I'm gonna try it. And I think they gave me, like, a little thing of olives. And I did, like, two of the three that I ate, but not enough for me to ever buy a jar myself.

[Unnamed Host]

When I come over, I have a nice, nice chilled jar of olive. Stringy, please. Thank you. That's why we get along.

[Kami Crawford]

I'll do it for you.

[Unnamed Host]

That's why this relationship works. I love them. You hate him. Thank you. Okay, let's move on. Do you have a cringy dating story that still haunts you till this day where it's like, oh, well, let me sit back. Yes, let me.

[Kami Crawford]

Do we have popcorn at.

[Unnamed Host]

Yeah.

[Kami Crawford]

I went on a date with this guy. It was set up by a friend. I made her and our other friend come and watch from afar. Because I'm not. I've. I'm a serial monogamist. And I've been in long relationships, but I don't go on dates. Yeah, I just don't. The idea of sitting across for some from someone for hours.

[Unnamed Host]

Wrap it up.

[Kami Crawford]

Who are you?

[Unnamed Host]

Right?

[Kami Crawford]

You're stranger. Why do I have to share a meal with you? Like you're a stranger. Stranger danger. Yeah. Anyway, she convinced me that I should go on a date with this boy. This man. He was a man, I guess. And we went on the date and he. It was a fine date. He laughed with his eyes wide open. And that freaked me out.

[Unnamed Host]

Can I get a demo?

[Kami Crawford]

Like say something funny.

[Unnamed Host]

Laughing with your eyes light up.

[Kami Crawford]

And I have Botox, so keep that in mind.

[Unnamed Host]

You saw the whites of his eyes.

[Kami Crawford]

And I was like, jump scare. I was like, oh, maybe that was just a one off.

[Unnamed Host]

You're funny, but I'm not that funny. Eyes wide open, funny.

[Kami Crawford]

Please be so for real. And I don't like a man.

[Unnamed Host]

Well, he was active listening.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah, don't like it too active. Leave it too active. And then he like, we had like FaceTimed a few times. Cause like, I was traveling for work and like I was in a really busy season of my life and he was like, the facetimes were fine, but like he was doing that on facetime too. Like I was seeing not just the whites of it, like up top, spooky. Like the whole thing. It was very spooky to me. And then I was in LA for work.

[Unnamed Host]

Poor guy's just happy. And he's scaring everybody too.

[Kami Crawford]

Happy as a Scorpio.

[Unnamed Host]

You should never be that happy.

[Kami Crawford]

What the.

[Unnamed Host]

What is so you should never be that happy.

[Kami Crawford]

Why are you this happy?

[Unnamed Host]

You should never be that happy.

[Kami Crawford]

And about what? Anyway, we're at dinner, like, chill. We. I was in LA and he like, I was working and he hit me up and was like, hey, like, when am I seeing you? Because we hadn't been on a site. Second date after that.

[Unnamed Host]

Well, rightfully so.

[Kami Crawford]

I was busy, right? Like, yeah, I was entertaining you, but like, I'm not, you know, your eyes, you freak me out. And he was like. I was like, well, you know, I'm working like for the next few weeks or whatever, but like, would love to meet up with you in like three weeks when I get back to New York. I wasn't trying to dodge him. That just like, was my schedule. And he was like, like, well, are we doing this or no? Because like, I'm not gonna waste my time if you're not gonna be like available to me. And I was like, listen, wide eyes. We're not exactly. Exactly Mr. Vising.

[Unnamed Host]

Chill, relax.

[Kami Crawford]

Chill out.

[Unnamed Host]

Ew.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah. I did not like that at all. It was, like, very. It was very, like, sassy. And I'm like, I'm not the person.

[Unnamed Host]

He said, you're mine.

[Kami Crawford]

I'm not.

[Unnamed Host]

I showed you the white of my eyes, guys. You belong to me.

[Kami Crawford]

I think he was trying to cast a spell on me.

[Unnamed Host]

He probably was.

[Kami Crawford]

It didn't work.

[Unnamed Host]

But have you heard from him since?

[Kami Crawford]

Oh, no. Freak. Ew. No, I didn't like that.

[Unnamed Host]

I don't like it.

[Kami Crawford]

Don't ever talk to me.

[Unnamed Host]

And, like, I'm envisioning it, and I'm scared. I'm scared.

[Kami Crawford]

The text was crazy.

[Unnamed Host]

That sounds like a title of a horror movie.

[Kami Crawford]

Like, I'm laughing, Eyes Wide open, starring my creepy date. It was so strange. It was so strange.

[Unnamed Host]

He just like, you don't deserve that.

[Kami Crawford]

No. And I don't. Don't ever try to monopolize my time.

[Unnamed Host]

No.

[Kami Crawford]

Ever.

[Unnamed Host]

No.

[Kami Crawford]

Ever. Because, like, I was down to hang out with you, right?

[Unnamed Host]

But you're. You're not busy enough for me. You're not busy enough.

[Kami Crawford]

You need to go find something to do. Maybe if you had a business, something you were passionate about, then you would know what it takes to run a business, but you don't, period. So don't even. And act like you know what I'm talking about. Do you know who said that?

[Unnamed Host]

No, who?

[Kami Crawford]

Kim Kardashian.

[Unnamed Host]

Oh, yes, she did. Yes, she did.

[Kami Crawford]

That's another one my sisters and I say all the time to each other.

[Unnamed Host]

If you had a business, then you.

[Kami Crawford]

Would know what it takes to.

[Unnamed Host]

I don't have a business, Kim.

[Kami Crawford]

Just like, I'm not gonna do the photo shoot just because I don't want to run around and I want to.

[Unnamed Host]

Be home with my kids.

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah. Literally. Literally. I watch too much television. Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay. This has been a blast.

[Kami Crawford]

Are we done?

[Unnamed Host]

We don't have to be. Did you want to ask me something?

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

Should we switch seats?

[Kami Crawford]

Yes. When you come on my podcast.

[Unnamed Host]

I'm coming again. Yeah, I'm gonna come after Perfect Match drops.

[Kami Crawford]

Wait, are you on Perfect Match?

[Unnamed Host]

Mm.

[Kami Crawford]

Wait, is that how you and Ollie met?

[Unnamed Host]

Uh huh. And that's all I'm gonna say. Don't ask me no more questions. Cut the cameras. Dead ass.

[Kami Crawford]

What? Mm.

[Unnamed Host]

We took it too far.

[Kami Crawford]

We took it too far. No, you took it exactly where it was supposed to go.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay?

[Kami Crawford]

The lovebirds, the sweethearts of Netflix. Listen, they're so lucky. To have you, too.

[Unnamed Host]

Aw.

[Kami Crawford]

We all are.

[Unnamed Host]

Thank you. Thank you. You've always been so supportive of me and always been my journey. And I can't thank you enough for always having my back and being a safe space for women and humans and people to come and confide in you. Because we know if somebody's gonna have our back is this woman right here.

[Kami Crawford]

Period.

[Unnamed Host]

We really appreciate you, and I hope to create a space like that for you. If you need to come back and get something off. Or I might. If we need a ride at dawn, I might. You already call?

[Kami Crawford]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Host]

Okay.

[Kami Crawford]

Absolutely.

[Unnamed Host]

I really, really love you. I'm so grateful to have you here.

[Kami Crawford]

Thank you for having me.

[Unnamed Host]

We need to go to lunch.

[Kami Crawford]

Yes.

[Unnamed Host]

Dinner. Get you some olives?

[Kami Crawford]

No.

[Unnamed Host]

I love you, girl. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. And thank you guys for tuning into another episode of what's the Reality? Be sure to follow me on all social platforms at what's the Reality? Pod. Please subscribe on YouTube, don't play with me and come back next week for another episode. Bye. What's the reality? What's the reality? Reality.

[Unnamed Ad Voice]

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[Unnamed Guest]

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