Love is Blind's Ashley Adionser Breaks Her Silence

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Love is Blind's Ashley Adionser Breaks Her Silence"

Podcast Information:

• Title: What's the Reality?
• Host: And Love Media
• Episode: Love is Blind's Ashley Adionser Breaks Her Silence
• Release Date: May 21, 2025

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I. Introduction

In this deeply personal and revealing episode of What's the Reality?, host AD welcomes a special guest—Ashley Adionser, known for her appearance on the popular reality TV show Love is Blind. This episode marks Ashley's first public discussion about her tumultuous journey through marriage, deception, and eventual divorce, providing listeners with an unfiltered look into the complexities of love, trust, and personal healing.

II. Reconnecting and Setting the Scene

The episode begins with an emotional reunion between AD and Ashley, highlighting the tension and anticipation surrounding Ashley’s decision to finally open up about her experiences. AD expresses the eagerness of listeners to hear Ashley’s side of the story, stating, “Everyone’s just, we wanna know what's going on” (01:49).

III. Ashley’s Marriage and Discovery of Lies

Ashley candidly discusses her marriage to Tyler, which began as a relationship formed on Love is Blind. She reveals the initial joy and connection they shared, describing Tyler as someone who “stepped in to help her with the son” (13:25). However, the marriage took a dark turn when unforeseen revelations came to light.

A. The Sperm Donor Revelation

Initially, Tyler presented himself merely as a sperm donor to Ashley’s child. However, tensions escalated when Ashley discovered inconsistencies in Tyler’s claims. She states, “He is a sperm donor for the son. To my knowledge, he fathered the twins” (20:48), indicating that Tyler had deeper involvement than previously disclosed.

B. Uncovering the Truth

Determined to uncover the truth, Ashley delved into Tyler’s personal records, revealing a web of lies. She recounts searching Tyler’s computer and finding incriminating evidence, including Google Meets chats that contradicted his public statements: “I found the mother load on more than one thing” (19:30). This discovery shattered the foundation of their marriage, leading to a profound sense of betrayal.

IV. The Impact on Their Marriage

The revelation had immediate and severe consequences on Ashley and Tyler’s relationship. Ashley describes the shift in their dynamic, noting that what was once a supportive and loving relationship became toxic and strained: “We just weren’t us anymore” (11:14). The trust that is fundamental to any marriage was irrevocably broken, leaving Ashley grappling with confusion and emotional turmoil.

V. Transitioning to Single Life

As Ashley moves towards filing for divorce, she reflects on the challenges of transitioning from a public, married life back to being single. Despite societal expectations that she should appear devastated, Ashley maintains her strength and resilience. She shares, “I found the truth myself” (17:46), emphasizing her autonomy in navigating this difficult period.

VI. Support Systems and Healing Journey

Throughout her ordeal, Ashley highlights the importance of her support system. Her “village”—comprising her mother and friends—provided unwavering support during her healing process: “They have been my true anchors in all of this” (06:55). Additionally, Ashley discusses the therapeutic tools that aided her recovery, including a gratitude journal and regular therapy sessions focused on self-forgiveness and emotional resilience.

VII. Public Reaction and Social Media Challenges

Going public with her story exposed Ashley to intense scrutiny and backlash on social media. She recounts facing unwarranted criticism and hostility, with some followers questioning her happiness post-breakup: “How come she's not down, down and out?” (05:56). This negative attention took a toll on her mental health, leading her to take a temporary break from social media to protect her well-being.

VIII. Lessons Learned and Future Outlook

Despite the hardships, Ashley remains hopeful and steadfast in her belief in genuine love. She articulates a renewed understanding of personal boundaries and the importance of self-love: “I want to keep her [love] just because I gave my love to the wrong person doesn't mean that my love is not top tier” (56:27). Ashley emphasizes that her experience has reinforced her resilience and commitment to authentic relationships, untainted by deceit.

IX. Conclusion

In closing, Ashley shares her aspirations for moving forward, including adopting a new puppy as a symbol of renewal and embracing a fresh start. She conveys a strong message of self-empowerment and the importance of leaving behind misconceptions: “Just humanize me for a moment and put me in your shoes” (62:12). AD expresses deep admiration and support for Ashley, celebrating her courage and transformative journey.

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Notable Quotes:

• Ashley on Healing: “A movement that inspires confidence, making those who wear our jeans impossible to ignore... press play on your favorite song if you haven't already and head over to True Religion.com to start owning your True.” (00:02)
• Ashley on Divorce Positivity: “I'm changing [the word 'divorce'] from a negative connotation to feeling more liberated and excited for this new beginning.” (02:19)
• Ashley on Therapy: “I've been really grateful for that [support system].” (07:20)
• Ashley on Self-Forgiveness: “The biggest thing we've been working on the last few months is forgiveness for myself.” (08:22)
• Ashley on Public Scrutiny: “People don't know me... I was ripped a new one almost daily, trying to figure out.” (43:27)
• Ashley on Moving Forward: “The biggest thing that I can do is take your mistakes and take your... learn from it.” (60:42)

Final Thoughts: This episode of What's the Reality? offers a candid and heartfelt exploration of Ashley Adionser’s personal struggles and triumphs following her time on Love is Blind. Through honest conversation and emotional depth, Ashley provides valuable insights into the realities of love, trust, and the courage needed to reclaim one's life after betrayal.

Transcript

[Ashley]

Yo, there's something about those jeans. When you're in true religion, heads turn. That's why you gotta own your true. A movement that inspires confidence, making those who wear our jeans impossible to ignore. You know who you are, so walk your walk and let them talk. Because an authentic you is you and true. And that's something to own. Press play on your favorite song if you haven't already and head over to True Religion.com to start owning your True.

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[Podcast Host]

Okay. Welcome back to what's the Reality. I have a really, really special guest with me today. My love is blind sister Ashley. We all know she's had quite the journey and she's finally, finally here, opening up for the very first time about her truth versus the lies. So I'm happy to have you. Welcome.

[Ashley]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

How are you?

[Ashley]

I'm good.

[Podcast Host]

Looking good.

[Ashley]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

I mean, looking great. Should I say? Yeah, So I mean, okay, I'm going to be completely honest with you. My listeners have not stopped begging. When I say begging, I mean begging to have you on this podcast because.

[Ashley]

Because what the fuck. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

No, like everybody's just, we wanna know what's going on. I wanna know what's going on. And like to be like completely honest and transparent. We have not spoke at all. I mean, obviously some well wished texts back and forth, but this is the first time I'm sitting face to face with you since reunion.

[Ashley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of times. Catch me up.

[Podcast Host]

Catch me up on you.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

On everything that you've been up to since I last saw you.

[Ashley]

So. Well, you know, filing for divorce now.

[Podcast Host]

Sorry to hear that.

[Ashley]

Yeah, same. But in the same breath. It's a good thing. I've been counting the days. Yeah. I think like the last few months, it's just been a lot of healing. A lot of healing. A lot of emotional fluctuations. You know, I would love to say it's been sunshine and rainbows because I think sometimes when we know we're doing the right thing, you think it should be easy, it doesn't make it any easier. And, and so, yeah, I've just been healing, but also like I'm getting to this stage where I'm reaching the six month mark of this divorce. And I've been kind of taking back the power of the word divorce because anyone who knows me knows it's something I never wanted to do ever. And so I'm changing it from a negative connotation to feeling more liberated and excited for this new beginning. And you know, I took some time to myself before I even wanted to do a sit down because I wanted to reflect. I wanted to take time to reflect. And so, you know, also given all of the social media vitriol, I was somewhat terrified to be vulnerable and say anything for fear of it being picked apart and being another tagline after things have kind of calm down. But then I was like, if I can speak so boldly for a man, I damn sure can speak, can speak up for myself. And frankly, I had to change the way I was thinking about things over the last four months when I was thinking about how or if I even wanted to say anything because I wanted to make sure I was doing this for me and not for anyone else. So yeah, the last four months has been a lot of reflection and I, you know, I've come to the realization that, you know, people can say whatever and they can have whatever misconceptions they want about me. I think that this is for me to speak to my character and anything outside of that I can't be bothered with.

[Podcast Host]

Heard, heard. So how has it been kind of transitioning from being married and being married in such a public facing way to now transitioning back into being single?

[Ashley]

I will say if I had to miss one thing about being married, which you'll, you'll know soon, longevity for you. But like I, I miss being a part of this like secret wives club like my, my friendships. Like with women who are married, it was a little different because we had conversations that I, that I now could understand. And so even I feel like professionally people treat you differently slightly when you're married, you have kids, it's almost like you're an adult. Adult now.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

So that transition has, has been different. But I also, I'm someone who thrives single. I just, I lock in and I do all the things like, you know, like I rather it's professionally, rather it's working out what, whatever it is, I'm happy single. I found how to be comfortable in My skin in my own presence a long time ago.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. So no single life is.

[Ashley]

Come on now.

[Podcast Host]

It does hit a little bit different.

[Ashley]

And I feel like we always want what we're not in. Like, even my married friends are like, girl, like, you don't have no kids. You don't have to worry about this. But then when you, you know, you are single, you're like, oh, my married friend. So I think that it's kind of like we always want what we don't have. But I mean, for me, I have a good time. So I see you in the gym.

[Podcast Host]

You'Re traveling, you're outside girls night.

[Ashley]

Yes. Yes. So it hasn't been a. That transition hasn't been that hard for me, especially because we were only married for a year.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I think that people want you to look sad and be down and like, people hate to see you trying to grow and heal. And like. So is that weird to like, post like, oh, I'm out with my girls on social media knowing that the world is like, how come she' not down, down and out?

[Ashley]

So I took a little bit of a social media break because of that. I remember I posted out with a few of my girlfriends just like laughing like, whatever. And someone wrote me, how dare you laugh? The kids. How dare you be happy? And I was like, I'm so sorry. Like, this is like, you know, it's months later at this point, so I still get a little bit of that. And you just have to kind of find a balance between, like, this is my life. And if I run it dictated by you all, I. I will literally be committed.

[Podcast Host]

Literally, in a dungeon somewhere.

[Ashley]

Literally. Yeah. So I had to kind of dismiss the opinions of the folk.

[Podcast Host]

Right. Do you feel like you have like a nice support system around you? Like, have your people shown up for you?

[Ashley]

My village. Yeah, my village goes crazy, girl. Like my mom, my friends, they have been like my. My true anchors in all of this. They. I mean, rather, it's late night phone calls, you know, FaceTimes at 1:00am Cause I. I have insomnia. So like, I'll ping them if I need to unpack something. And so honestly, without them, this would have been way harder. Not everybody has that, you know, so I've been. I've been really grateful for that. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Are you doing anything, like, in particular? I know you said you're like kind of working out and hanging out with some of your homegirls, but are you doing anything in particular that's like, helping you get through this whole transition?

[Ashley]

Yeah, I Mean, besides falling on the floor crying out to Jesus, like, God, you know, but besides that. I started actually, Monica from my season got me a gratitude journal. And it's never been more impactful than it's been, you know, the last few months. It's just part of my daily routine where I just get up and just jotting down those three things. Seems so small, but it's so big because it keeps you focused on what's truly important and that there's always something to be grateful for, even in a tornado. So that has been helpful. And then the biggest thing has been they done pushed me to therapy, child.

[Podcast Host]

I know.

[Ashley]

That's good. I never thought I would be in therapy, not in a negative way. I've always been an advocate for it, but I've always been, like, well adjusted, you know, contrary to belief, I.

[Podcast Host]

My head is on my shoulders.

[Ashley]

Yeah, yeah, it's still there. Yeah. That was uncharted territory for me. But even my therapist sometimes, which godsend for her, but, like, she'll just smile at me in some of our, like, meetings because, like, I. I am wise and I'm. I'm very self aware, but she gives me different perspectives on things. And so the biggest thing we've been working on the last few months is forgiveness for myself. Not even for him or anyone else. Forgiveness for myself. Because I'm just someone who, like, beats myself up when I make mistakes or, you know, do something out of the ordinary. And I'm like, I really don't need anyone else to do it. I'm my biggest critic.

[Podcast Host]

I got it.

[Ashley]

Yeah. Trust me.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

So, yeah, therapy. I think that everyone should go, especially with, like, large life transitions.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, I love my therapist, girl. I got therapy tomorrow, girl.

[Ashley]

Yeah, I got it next week.

[Podcast Host]

Listen, let's talk more lib and just how we got here. Okay, rewind. How do you feel? Like the revelation of Tyler coming out with the whole children thing impacted, like, in the beginning, all the way up until now. Impacted your marriage.

[Ashley]

Ugh. It impacted the marriage immediately. Yeah, immediately. Because now I have to question the person I'm laying next to. And I think that that's such a scary feeling to not know what's true, what's not true. And like, I remember, like I said, I have insomnia. It would be times I'm up at 2am and I would jab. I'm like, hey, I got another, like, I need you to, you know, answer this. Of course, he had all the answers at the time, but, you know, it kind of shifted everything about Us, like we, you know, there are all marital things as well that, you know, were hardships for us. But like, we got along really well. And so it was like I no longer had that person. And even in the, from the beginning, even when I was still trying to unpack what was true or just all of the things, it still created such a hole between us. And it's like I was being drug on his behalf as well. So I had this sort of resentment towards him as well in our household. So it shifted everything, you know, And I think that, I mean, it was a time where I had a panic attack. You know, I had two panic attacks, but one of the worst ones where I was like in my living room and I went to the bathroom and he saw me, it was like 3am and he just like, help me. And I unfolded into his arms while, you know, trying to figure out if this man, like, who he was.

[Podcast Host]

It was the most toxic post, like post show airing.

[Ashley]

Post show airing. It's like post. Yeah, it's like in the thick of it. It was in the thick of it. And so it literally shifted where we had an enjoyable home into such a toxic and just unhappy kind of situation because he also was depressed as well. But you know, he, you know, so it's, it was, it changed our entire dynamic. It definitely did. We just weren't us anymore. He is a pathological liar. And I was looking at this man like, who are you? And if we don't have the two biggest things in a marriage which are trust and honesty, then what do we have?

[Podcast Host]

Okay, let's like break this down for people that might not understand this like 5 part series sperm donor situation. What we saw and what was presented to us is that Tyler was a sperm donor to the children. And then reunion, that's all we know. And then post reunion, it comes out that he was the father, parent to the twins.

[Ashley]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Tell me about this five part series and what is the truth?

[Ashley]

So, so, so let's, let's, let's go back a little, right? So when I find out that he's a sperm donor when we're filming, the only thing that he told me on and off camera was that he was a sperm donor. Zero complexity around it, right. He even went as far as to tell me like he hadn't seen them in a year or two. Like he, that the mother of the children had him blocked by because she wanted to raise her children with her, you know, lesbian counterpart who's her now her fiance. And so all we knew, even at the reunion was that he was a sperm donor. Case closed.

[Podcast Host]

To all.

[Ashley]

To all three.

[Podcast Host]

Three children.

[Ashley]

Yeah. And then a little bit before the reunion aired, she came out with her five part video series where she was saying it was hard for her to come out about this, but now she's taking back the fact that she said they had never been intimate in any way, but that they actually had for the twins. So once she.

[Podcast Host]

Was it intimate in a relational way.

[Ashley]

Or in, I'm saying intimate as far as like intercourse. Yeah. This is how he made the kids. She said it was a one time girlfriend. Yeah. She was like, oh, like it was a one time thing. I was embarrassed to, you know, mention it. I can't remember her exact words, but she just goes through like she's reading a paper and she just goes through like saying, you know, he was a sperm donor for my son, but we had sex to conceive the twins.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And so this flips everything around because it's like one time she's saying, no, you know, we never had sex, we never had intercourse. And he was saying the same thing. Now she's saying that they did, but only for half. And so of course he was.

[Podcast Host]

So you're seeing this post, the reunion filming.

[Ashley]

Post after. I already filmed.

[Podcast Host]

Filmed after. Now you're looking at him. He's looking at you like, what is. How is.

[Ashley]

He sent me to the wolves.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. How is he back in the. What is his. What is he saying?

[Ashley]

He's saying it's not true. He's saying nothing about it is true. He's even going as far as to say they never had sex at all, you know, and so. And so.

[Podcast Host]

Come on.

[Ashley]

Now he's standing on it when I say standing on it. His mom, she's a lot like everybody, his friends, everyone around me. I even tried to get his little niece by herself when I seen her.

[Podcast Host]

Was it true? Baby girl?

[Ashley]

I was like, all your cousins are here just to see if she was like my other cousin or anything like that.

[Podcast Host]

Just to see.

[Ashley]

No, he's standing on it still to today. Till today, he is standing on that he did not conceive the twins via sex. And I don't believe that. I don't believe that. That I will say, yeah, okay, so.

[Podcast Host]

Break down the five parts a little bit more because I'm not going to be. I'm not going to lie. I didn't watch past the two seconds of it because I'm like, this one, this is taking it too far.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

This is like love is blind after Dark like this don't got shit to do with me. I don't want to. And it was everywhere. It was everywhere. So if you want to break it down a little bit or however you feel comfortable telling us, like what all. Because you don't need five parts to say we had sex.

[Ashley]

Yeah, I think she just went from the beginning of how, like, if I'm not mistaken, because I don't remember either, to be honest. I trauma blocked that out. But if I'm not mistaken, she started out just talking about their relationship, how he was her best friend, how he stepped in to help her with the son. Again, admirable. She was going through a divorce with her previous wife and that he originally was just. Just supposed to be a sperm donor, like slash uncle for the son. But then allegedly one night, you know, I guess something happened between them and it was a one time thing where.

[Podcast Host]

Abracadabra.

[Ashley]

Yep. Poof. Yeah, twins.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And that, you know, she was basically taking back the fact that they had never had intercourse and that, you know, she. It was hard for her to say this cause she's always been, you know, you know, she's a mask presenting lesbian. And so she's always been in a lesbian, you know, relationship. And so she was just saying like this was difficult for her to come out and say, but this is what the truth is. And that she didn't like her kids being referred to as sperm donor children, which by the way, I thought was the proper term because that's what he said. That's what he said. And I didn't mean it in a derogatory way or to demean the children or anything. Like I was even hoping, like, I hope that kids, you know, kids are cruel. I'm like, I hope no kids see this and are like teasing them in any way. It's nothing wrong with it at all. But I'm just saying, you know, and so she didn't like the way that they were being referred to and so she just wanted to come out and finally say her truth. It was a lengthy. A lengthy explanation, but needless to say, the end result was her saying he fathered the twins.

[Podcast Host]

Did you actually ever get the truth from this man? Or do you get. Did you get what you think was the truth?

[Ashley]

I found it myself. I didn't get it from him. I found it myself. I found the truth myself. Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Is that something you want to share? What is the truth? Because I think I know. I want to know. And I know there was a lot of lies spewed There was a lot of omitting. What is the truth.

[Ashley]

I want to be very careful with my words. And this man by no means deserves any grace from me. And I have every weapon in my arsenal and at my disposal to destroy him, but it's just not my style. And so, you know, while he drugged me into this, I don't want him to turn me into someone that I'm not. However, what I will say is there's major complexity around that situation and how the children were conceived. And I think that as a woman, I will take ownership and I will apologize for, you know, to the mother of those children, for anything that I said. Yeah, that went against anything that she said, that was true. Right, right. So anything that I refuted, that was actually true, I apologize. Because that watered down her story. You know what I mean? But in the same breath, there's so much more to this story than is public knowledge. And because he kept lying, I had to go do my own research. So I had to resort back to old detective habits and search this man's computer. And when I searched that computer, I found the mother load on more than one thing, not just this topic. Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, what. What did you find?

[Ashley]

And so what I'll say is, on this topic of the baby mama drama, what I found were a series of Google Meets chats between him and her over the years. And what I will say is they both created such a messy, messy, messy, messy, messy situation by their actions and how they went about things from beginning to end. And so there is major complexity around how those children conceived.

[Podcast Host]

Did she know? Okay, did she know he was going on the show?

[Ashley]

Yes, she did.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Ashley]

She knew he was going on the show. To my knowledge. He told me so many things. He told me that, you know, he hadn't seen her or them in years. Like one or two years, I think he said. But in all actuality, he had seen her and the kids the day before he left. So I had no idea about that at all from the start. So this man lied about more than one thing.

[Podcast Host]

Is he a sperm donor or.

[Ashley]

No, he is a sperm donor for the son. To my knowledge, he fathered the twins. Okay, to my knowledge.

[Podcast Host]

Like based on facts that you saw. And it's.

[Ashley]

It's this. It's difficult to. To say because I'mma be so real.

[Podcast Host]

With you right now. Kind of how we started this interview and how loud and bold you were. And I'm not saying let's dismantle him, but you deserve this platform to speak your truth. And make it all make sense.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And I, I want to give you that space to, to say what needs to be said. And I don't want you to feel like you have to feel muted or the world is gonna attack you. You've made it through worse.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

But I do want you to know that this is a space where. Okay, this is Ashley's fucking turn. Yeah, this is your turn. You've protected him enough. He didn't protect you. And I'm not saying let's dog him out, but what is the truth to the, to your comfort level so that we can just get an understanding of why one, where all this stuff came from, why he lied, why you stayed. Like, I just want to be able to piece it together so that you have some peace.

[Ashley]

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[Ashley]

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[Ashley]

So it was crazy because according to them both, they had never slept together originally before she came out with that five part series which is when it began to unravel that I was like wait, I thought you were the homie. Like, you know, I didn't even think this was possible. So till this day he still tries to say that he was doing it regardless of what happened between them two, that that's not how the twins were conceived. I don't believe him. Yeah, I don't believe him. So of course why would I believe him? Right. In this instance, when he's lied about so many other things. So that's why I'm trying to be careful with what I say, because I don't want to tell his story either. But what I feel is that he did father those twins, and I think that they both were in agreeance with that at some point. I'm not really sure why she didn't say it at the beginning and why she came out. I guess she said she. It was hard for her to, you know, talk about as well, but to my knowledge and the things that I saw. Yes, he did.

[Podcast Host]

How messy. Like, how messy. And it also. It's like, how do you think you're gonna come on a global TV show with all these skeletons in your closet and think no one is gonna dig it up? You're lying to your fiance, you're lying to everyone and thinking that none of this is gonna show up? And then how unfortunate to drag you into that.

[Ashley]

Yeah. And the thing is, what people don't know too, is everybody believed him. Like it. When. When it was first. When it first came out, like when we had the conversation about the sperm donor on, like, on camera, and even when we took a step back and we're talking one on one, but the whole camera crew was, like, crying, people came up to him afterwards and thanked him essentially for his service. So honorable for donating. Yeah. Which it is honorable if that was the case.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Ashley]

Who knows? Like, you know, who knows even about the son? I don't know.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Ashley]

You know, you don't. I don't know. I don't believe anything anymore, so. But, you know, that was the. The thing that I was gripping to when I was defending this man is no way someone would come on global television and do this, because that's just stupid.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Ashley]

That makes no sense whatsoever. Unless you had a gag order, which you didn't.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Ashley]

You know what I mean? Had you had said gag order, maybe. Yeah. But you didn't. So I think that I don't know what his. What, What, What. What did he think was gonna happen? And let's say that he did go on because he was like, oh, it was a, you know, once in a lifetime opportunity. Cause I told him, no way should you have went on this show unless your life was in order. But let's just say he did go. To marry me is crazy work.

[Podcast Host]

Right?

[Ashley]

To ask for my mom's hand, I mean, my hand, you know, to my mom is crazy work. When your life was in such a disarray and more area Than one.

[Podcast Host]

So you. You don't think he was ready for marriage?

[Ashley]

No, I don't.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

In no way, shape or form. He should have never went on the.

[Podcast Host]

Show did he believe he was ready for mar.

[Ashley]

He presented. That's the thing. Like, this man is different.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

This is scary territory. I don't know how much and in what ways I can say this to get people to grasp. When I said I'm wise and when I said I was intuitive, I wasn't saying that for just throwing good words out there. That's what I usually am. So this was a mind F for me, big time. Trying to rationalize how he slipped through the cracks. He presented himself as that. That man. He resented himself as that man during filming to the point everybody loved him. He's very charismatic. And so during filming, he, you know, he did all these things. He. He was so kind and he was, you know, he seemed like he was ready for an honest marriage, which is why we jumped out of the plane. These leap of faith with each other locked in, you know, so to. And even over the year of marriage, like, again, we had marital hardships, but it. We had a good time for the most part. And he didn't present himself as this.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Ashley]

I had to reflect back to realize, oh, you lied about that. You lied about that. You lied about the. Oh, my God, who are you?

[Podcast Host]

Right. Because you guys did seem extremely like, despite him being the donor and whatever, you guys seemed pretty healthy. And were there any red flags that you probably may be looking back on now see, or maybe we missed.

[Ashley]

No, there weren't really any red flags. He was on his P's and Q's while filming. Like, for the most part, I don't think I seen a red flag until, like, our first month of marriage.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And by that point, we're in it. I'm already in it. And I never wanted to get divorced.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Ashley]

So the only thing I could do at that point when I began to see little remnants, because as you know, anything that you say in the pods and anything that you say while filming is law. It is vital that you stick to it, because that is what determines. Yeah. And that's what determines if I should marry you or not. That's what determines if our lives will flourish together. So there were many reassurance, like, many assurances that he gave me of things he would do and this and that throughout the marriage. That when we got in and I was like, okay, this isn't being done. This isn't being done. I'm keeping all of this, the thing, you know, my word for the things I said I would do. What about you? But again, I was already married, so I was like, okay, lock in. I'm in. I'm in this. Like, how do I unfortunately build this man up? I thought I was done with that. I thought he was going to come cooked, prepared utensil, place settings, everything, right? So to know that I now had to help him learn how to be a leader in this marriage, on top of us, just being married after a little over 40 days was a lot. And I think that when people ask me like, so what was it like? There were a lot of little things that he would do, but that was the extent of what he could do. The little things I made big things because I wanted him to feel valued, appreciate the coffee. Yeah, the coffee, the flowers, knowing my co workers names at work and things like that. And the men I've dated in the past who were affluent men, just throw you a bag and shut up. You know, he wasn't that way. So it was a breath of fresh air. And I think that I made that. The thing I clung to is like the bare minimum. Bare minimum?

[Podcast Host]

The bare minimum.

[Ashley]

Yeah, the bare minimum. Which again, if you're doing the bare minimum along with other things, great.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

But that was the extent of what he could do.

[Podcast Host]

Because you can't be a bare minimum and a liar.

[Ashley]

That's a double whammy.

[Podcast Host]

You know what, I'm gonna stray a little bit because you and I both know how extensive our background checks are for this damn show. Like social media, literal background checks. How did this slip through? Slip through.

[Ashley]

So here's the thing too. Like people were saying like his mom had pictures and that he had pictures of the kids on his page at one point in which I did see a screenshot that someone had put up or something that he did once, you know, post the children. However, he had to have deleted all of that. People are like, he deleted it when he got back. That's impossible. Because if it was still on his page, then they would have picked, you know, picked up on it. He told me that he did tell like the casting producers and whatever that he was a sperm donor. Obviously.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And that's it. And, and honestly, it's his word against hers. And you know, at this point, because it's no proof if no was there right in the room with you all. So I don't think that they looked into it any further past him saying, oh, I was a sperm donor. It's like, oh, great, thank you. You know, and so I think that's how he slipped through, by probably deleting everything. And maybe his mom's page was private on, you know, Facebook or whatever. I don't know. But apparently, like, he. He was posting them as his children at one point or something.

[Podcast Host]

Pajamas.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

That was insane.

[Ashley]

Yeah. And that, by the way, that was my first time seeing. He told me when he. During the sperm donor conversation while we were filming, that he didn't have any pictures of them because he wasn't in.

[Podcast Host]

Their lives like that.

[Ashley]

Right. So when I seen all of this, I was like.

[Podcast Host]

That'S so scary.

[Ashley]

It's very scary. It's very scary. And I just. I need people to humanize that for a second. Yeah. Of where I'm sitting there, like. And I think the thing I was clinging to was, there gotta be something here, you know, how, like, all the proof can point towards something, but it's like, what if one thing comes out and we find out, oh, you know, I was waiting for whatever this one thing was to pop up to prove, like, him innocent, essentially. Like, I have all brothers. Like, you know what I mean? I'm a girl's girl to the end of the day, you know, at the end of the day. But I know that someone coming out, especially when they think fame is going to happen or whatever, that it could be motive there. Right. So I wanted to be sure. So I was waiting for this thing to pop because, again, this is global television. There are people in Sweden watching with subtitles.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Ashley]

You know what I mean? Like, this is, you know, and even they know. Even they know, you know? So, like, I really was clinging to the fact that no way would go on here and lie, you know, like.

[Podcast Host]

That and not even be good at it.

[Ashley]

And not even good at it.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, so do you feel like standing by him, like, was more of a pressure from him? Because at the reunion, you stood very strong, which I do still think is honorable, because that is your husband at that point in time. That is your husband. Do you feel like there was any pressure from him to stay in your marriage and stand so strong by him?

[Ashley]

No, I think the pressure was put on my. I put it on myself, I think, because at that time, I hadn't found the information for myself. I hadn't found out about all the lies yet, because when we filmed the reunion, again, this was a week or two, like, before the mom of the kids had ever came out saying anything otherwise. So right before the reunion, like, the night before, where we're in the room. They give us a little wine. Like, we're chatting. We're chatting. I remember putting my hands out like this.

[Podcast Host]

Sorry. It's okay.

[Ashley]

And I was like, am I sleeping with the enemy? And he said, no, you're not. And I asked him, is there anything that I need to know? Please do not send me to the wolves. And he literally was like, no, there's nothing else you need to know. We're in this together. And that's why I can't wrap my mind around it, because that was the moment for you to be like, this, this, this, this, this, and you take me or leave me. And he continued. Even when I was drowning, he continued. And so I had that kind of reassurance where I was like, okay, we're. Yeah, we're in this together. Let's do this, you know? And that's why I went out there so boldly and spoke, because why? Again, why? Okay, okay. People are crazy. Yes, we know that. But why would someone do that again on the. On a large platform like that when my mom is sitting there like, we're all riding for you. My whole. My grandma.

[Podcast Host]

And you gave him the safe space.

[Ashley]

And I gave you. I literally. And I learned that, like, if you make men feel comfortable, that maybe, you know, they'll fill that vulnerable space to be that with you. And I gave him that. And still, I mean, after that, we slept together. He cuddled me everything. Everything. And I'm like, that's a different kind of person, you know? So I think that if maybe the video would have come out before the reunion, even if I was still with him, trying to figure out things for myself, I think I would have navigated the reunion a little differently because I. Again, which is why I wanted to have the sperm donor conversation on camera. I think that people can tell when you're not being authentic. And so I would have. I would have at least said, like, hey, you know, me and him are in a good space right now, but we're working things out.

[Podcast Host]

I could have took that path.

[Ashley]

You didn't.

[Podcast Host]

He allowed you to be loud. Wrong.

[Ashley]

I would have been like, sit down. Don't do another podcast.

[Podcast Host]

Don't say shit else.

[Ashley]

Don't say.

[Podcast Host]

Don't say shit else. And the thing is, he got quieter and, like, left you to, like, literally.

[Ashley]

I was getting more than. Yeah, yeah, I was getting in more than him for sure.

[Price Announcer]

Which is.

[Ashley]

Hilarious, because I think that it just became a smear campaign, and I was the headliner. And also, he don't know what to say. So I was like, send me, you know, take me. But again, that's just how I am as a friend. That's how I am as a daughter. That's how I am as with anyone I love. I will go to bat for you if you're being honest, you know. And so on reflection, I do wish that, you know, that video, video would have came out, like. And so again, people don't know the timeline of things. So they're like, oh, this aired afterwards, she's still doing this. And I'm like, no, no, no, you didn't hear me say a peep after that, right?

[Podcast Host]

What's there to say? How was it watching Tyler be like exposed on TV and, and the Internet and everything?

[Ashley]

It was heartbreaking. It was heartbreaking too because again, we were living together, we were in the thick of it together. And I was believing the things that he was saying. So to see everything transpiring, it was difficult. And again, that's what caused the discord between us because I'm also side eyeing him like, okay, God, it was so much. It wasn't just a child thing. It was so many different things that. And again, I don't wanna say the child thing. Cause they love to crucify me for how I refer to the children. So, you know, it wasn't just that, that it was so many things. And so, you know, people were writing my job, they were trying to get me fired. So to see all of these things happening and even him, someone I loved at the time, it was sad. It was, it was sad. It was, it was. It was just my emotions were all over the place.

[Podcast Host]

How did he protect you, if at all during this time?

[Ashley]

None beside, like I said, holding me when I had panic attacks, being in the house. I remember one time this man said to me, I don't have the emotional capacity to be there for you right now. I said, what?

[Podcast Host]

Don't piss me off.

[Ashley]

This is the end too. This is like around the end, right? I'm like, what you mean you don't have the emotional capacity to be there for me? He gave up essentially, like, it was one point, like his job. It like put him on a performance review and everything. Cause he was giving up. I didn't have the luxury to do that. I had to show up at work every day, like, because I also know they see this stuff, right? You know, and I can't give up right now. So that time where I needed him to pour into me because I was going, and I was fighting for you and you say something like, that to me, oh, the house was in shambles. Shambles, chaos. That's why when people were saying like, oh, this and that, I'm like, just because I'm not publicly telling you what's going on in these walls does not mean there's not anything going on. It was, yeah, like I was ripping him a new one almost daily, you know, trying to figure out when I realized, oh, he really won't. I said, I'll find it myself.

[Podcast Host]

When did your discernment kick in? Like, when were you, like, enough is enough?

[Ashley]

I think after the reunion when she came out with that video, I didn't have the proof. And with a liar like him, you need proof.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

I remember when they were saying, okay, so the kids names. The. The twins had his last name and the kids. So the kids, the twins had his last names. But she went to go change it to hers and it was like a public record, like, document. And I remember asking him about, and he was like, he had no idea that the twins, like, had his last name. Like, so when I did my computer search, I went through his email and saw he signed off on it and sent them a document back to her email. So I kid you not, I pull out my phone and I say, so what is this? He said, I didn't sign that. I said, someone hacked your email.

[Podcast Host]

Oh my God, you are.

[Ashley]

You see what I'm saying?

[Podcast Host]

Like, it's in his face.

[Ashley]

It's right here. And I'm like, did someone hack your email? He was like, I don't know. So I asked him later on, why lie when it's in your face? He was like, I didn't want to make matters worse. It's already as bad as it can't get.

[Podcast Host]

No worse than this.

[Ashley]

Yeah, you're sleeping in the living room. I'm sleeping in my room. Had to give him a 30 day notice. So, like it's, it's this, this is already where, you know where it's supposed to be and you still lied with it in your face. That's. That's when I knew he's a. He was a lost cause in, in my relationship.

[Podcast Host]

How did you approach the decision to go public with your breakup?

[Ashley]

So I knew that I kind of wanted to just put out a blanket statement for now because I again, was still on my healing process and we had been separated for quite some time by that point. So I didn't tell him that I was coming out, you know, with a statement at all. I wanted him to be blindsided. Like, I was right So I just set everything up and we released the statement to people and I hopped on a flight to Turks and did an untap and a reset. And that was it. Yeah, that was it. Yeah. And I just. From that point on, I know that, I know he was pissed because again, it probably blindsided him. And I didn't, I didn't care about that, obviously.

[Podcast Host]

Did he reach out?

[Ashley]

No, he didn't. What could one say? But yeah, what I was gonna say. No. But I think his punishment was just making the divorce hard by not answering my lawyers and just waiting to the last minute, missing deadlines and things like that after I moved like that.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Ashley]

I think he was probably like, oh, I got one for you.

[Podcast Host]

You know. Yeah, I'm gonna drag it.

[Ashley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So are you guys divorced?

[Ashley]

My 6 month mark is next week, so then I can file on May 21st at 11:59pm Come on.

[Podcast Host]

11:59?

[Ashley]

Yes. Yes.

[Podcast Host]

She's not counting anything.

[Ashley]

No, you know.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. So were you nervous to see how people would react to the breakup announcement and what has the response been? Like?

[Ashley]

Yeah, I was nervous. Especially again, like, I really don't think people know. I think that people think when we sign up for these reality shows that we just become a star. Right? No, we don't. Like we're still just very normal people. And so my nerves were ragged. Honest, Honestly. Because I knew that it was going to be a headline again.

[Podcast Host]

Well, people were preying on your downstream.

[Ashley]

They were praying immediately, oh, we told you so.

[Podcast Host]

You know, and the most cruel, disgusting a way I have ever seen people prey on someone. And it came from again inside the house.

[Ashley]

Yes, it did.

[Podcast Host]

And I don't wanna say no one's name in particular, but there is a very loud presence on the Internet that just. It was almost like she was just sitting there waiting, waiting, checking, you know. Exactly. Checking daily.

[Ashley]

Yes, checking daily.

[Podcast Host]

Daily. Waiting daily.

[Ashley]

Yeah. I think that they kept hiding behind the fact that it was for the kids. It was for the kids to justify how they were. And that's the thing. They were coming at me more than him.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Like I won't be. I can't rationalize that. Cause it doesn't make sense to me.

[Podcast Host]

Just because you were so bold.

[Ashley]

But even in that. Right. It's still not my act. It's not, you know what I mean? And although, you know, people were saying like, you know, it wasn't my problem, it was because this is someone I was choosing to, you know, believe in. Someone that was supposed to protect me and Someone that vowed to. So, you know, at that time, I'm still navigating my relationship being in shambles and the social media hate at once. I'm spiraling, you know, and on top of that, I wasn't seeing everything on social media because I had to have my friends running my social media for a moment so I could untap, because it was literally about to be my undoing. Like, it was that bad. Like, girl, I was in.

[Podcast Host]

So people are saying that they're making videos to protect the kids or what?

[Ashley]

They're just. I guess they're saying, like, this is about the kids. Like, we're digging so hard because it's, you know, it's about the children. But it stopped being about the children a long time ago, and it started being about clickbait to me. And I think that by them hiding behind that, it could mask what was really going on, which was a takedown for him and me, which. Okay, you know, he.

[Podcast Host]

You know, why are we so passionate about other people's business like that to the point where it needs to be hurtful? Like, there's so many things that I saw. I was like, how is this helpful?

[Ashley]

It was helpful how people said, the most dehumanizing experience of my life.

[Podcast Host]

How is this helpful?

[Ashley]

It wasn't. It wasn't. And how does this help the kids? Because, honestly, the more information that came out, the sadder I felt for the children, for when they get to Google, you know what I mean? And if we're talking about heart here and we're talking about actually caring, that's sad, you know? And I think there could have been a way to go about this. Even the women who were saying, we're just doing this because we wanted more for you. Like, you know, especially women of color. We. We. You know, we want. Don't y' all think I wanted a win for us, don't you think?

[Podcast Host]

What'd I say to you at the reunion?

[Ashley]

Listen. Sure did.

[Podcast Host]

A win is a win is a win.

[Ashley]

A win is a win. That's why I'm happy for you, girl. Because, look, you win, we win. I win, we all win, right? And I wore the culture on my back when I was filming. I made sure I didn't act ignorant. I made sure I represented myself classy, you know? You know, educate all of the things. And that was dismissed because of a man, which I hate that that was what tainted your image.

[Podcast Host]

My image? Yeah.

[Ashley]

If it's me, cool.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

You don't like me for. You did not like me for me, you didn't like me because of my counterpart. So, yeah, when. When it came to the social media stuff, it was. It was so dark. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced in my actual life. And the saddest part about it ad is that they would say the most evil things, wish things on my unborn children, and they would go eat, marry, go to sleep, snore, and I would be up at night sick for months. Yeah, for months. You know what I mean? Thank you for the weight loss, but that's about it.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

You know what I mean? So it was. It was. And again, it was. They didn't even know what they were doing because as you guys were dragging me, the only person on the planet who understood what I was going through was the person who was doing it to me. So then come said trauma bond between us because I'm letting this man hold me, and he's actually essentially my captor.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Ashley]

What I also want to talk about is, let's say those who did think that they were trying to help me or we want it better for you. It's the delivery. You guys can't think that you could berate someone like that on a daily and then say, well, we just wanted.

[Podcast Host]

We tried to tell you, would you.

[Ashley]

Talk to your sister like that? Your friend like that? No, you would not.

[Podcast Host]

You know what's sickening is the show. By the time the show came out, it was a year already had passed. So people are yelling, screaming at the tv, talking about, we're trying to save you. Yeah, girl, I'm already in it, girl. I'm marri, you're not helping me.

[Ashley]

Too late.

[Podcast Host]

And it's so weird that people can't, like, calculate a timeline to save their lives. Well, we tried to tell you not to marry him. When I was filming a year ago, you were trying to tell. What am I to do now? And how is this helpful? I think that we have such a battle with, again, the. I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to tell you, girl, when.

[Ashley]

You got engaged, I went to your page and commented or something. I got attacked in your comments. I'm like, bro, all I'm saying is congrats. Like, you know, and they're like, oh. Or no, it was another post when I commented on Marissa and Alex's video about it coming from the inside. This doesn't. This doesn't refer to you.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, this is not. This one's not for you.

[Ashley]

How ain't it?

[Podcast Host]

This one's not for you.

[Ashley]

I think that I could speak to it the most. Come on, right?

[Podcast Host]

Come on.

[Ashley]

So they're like, oh, you don't get to do that. You know, you stood by a deadbeat and did, yeah, damn, that's on me. I gotta hold that, not you, right? I have to do the forgiveness from the inside, right?

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[Ashley]

You know what I mean? And I know that. But I think that again, if the people, for the ones who really are like, girl, we like, we were just so disappointed in you. Cool. But you really don't know me. You know, you guys think you do because you watch a show. You don't know me. I've made great decisions for 32 years before that show had aired. You know what I mean? But they don't know that. And so they crucify me For a blip, a blip in time. And I think that the biggest thing is because I was so loud and so bold when I was speaking on behalf. But that's the way I love. I can't help it.

[Podcast Host]

Like that for me was like really sad because I just know as women and as black women, and this is something that I have just said on repeat and repeat and repeat on this couch. But like the way we protect these men and it's just like the, like, I can see it in my head. You just like some of the things that you were saying, like some of y' all never been married and it shows. Like you want to protect yourself, you want to protect your man. And he just got quieter and quivered in the corner.

[Ashley]

And so even I'm glad you said that because even in that statement, they were like, oh, look who's single now. Like you said, some of us haven't been married. And it shows. But it's like, go back to that interview when I said that. What I meant by that was some of y' all haven't been married. And it shows because you're expecting me to just up and bounce immediately. But if it was your real marriage, non show related, that is not what you would do. You would follow that man to court and stand beside him in a nice suit, I hope, and you would stand beside him and support him until it was time for you to walk away. That's what you would do. But it's like they don't think that love is real from Love is Blind, but it is. It was for me. It's real, you know, it was for me. So it's like when I said some of y' all haven't been married in the shows, it wasn't a dig at single women. I love being single. I want love and I want marriage too. But I'm not an unhappy single person. So that was projection. Yeah, right. So it's like when they said that, I think that it just. It was another thing to tear me down about. It was another thing to just run with. And I swear, whenever I would correct them, they would stick with the narrative that they came up with. And even in some comments, I was like, that's not what I meant by that. If you felt attacked by that, that is a personal problem. What I meant by that is if this man was my boyfriend, see ya.

[Podcast Host]

Right? But this is my husband immediately too. Right? Quick, fast.

[Ashley]

I don't care if it's true or not.

[Podcast Host]

I don't care.

[Ashley]

That's not drama. To my doorstep. Gotta go like, you know what I mean? Because you're a boyfriend. This was someone I made vows with. I, I. My faith is important to me. We said this before God, I had to see it through. My guy, I had to see it through.

[Podcast Host]

Have you spoken to him in the past few months at all?

[Ashley]

No, the last time. Well, we speak, you know, about court stuff and not court, My lawyers and him getting paperwork on time. And my lawyers will reach out to me. Like, he's not responding. I'm like, God. And he knows it costs me money when he doesn't. He still does it. It's so malicious. And so I would reach out to him and be like, you know, every time you don't respond, this is what happens. Please, what can I do? I even told him, I will zell you to get things notarized and sent out on time. And so we talked a little bit in the beginning when I was still going through the healing process of it all. But I haven't seen him since he came to collect the rest of his stuff in January, the first week of January. I've never seen him again.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Yeah.

[Ashley]

Whenever we get invited to events and stuff, I write the people and ask who's attending because I want to be sure I don't run into him at all.

[Podcast Host]

Right. Is he still doing, like, events and stuff?

[Ashley]

I guess, whatever he can scrapple together.

[Podcast Host]

Do you think he's wanting, like, fame? Like, what do you think were his intentions for all of this?

[Ashley]

Ad Honestly, girl, if I knew this man's intentions for all of this, it would make me sleep better at night because I even go back and forth on my head if he ever loved me. Jesus, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. And it's sad because it was real for me. And I think that he loved me to some capacity, but I think in the way that he knew how and he doesn't know how. So he just gave me whatever tidbits he could, bare minimum. Right. And I think that maybe he wants to know how to love, but he doesn't. And he presented himself as someone who.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, we need a motive.

[Ashley]

Yeah, because you did that for me. I had no idea. And he tells me, he's like, you know, he didn't expect to meet me in the process. You know, he, he jumped at the chance when they, you know, reach out to him. But he didn't expect to get married. He didn't expect to meet. He didn't expect to fall in love with me, allegedly. And I'M just like, I even asked him, like, did you ever love me? But again, it's coming from the mouth of who?

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Ashley]

I don't know. I'll never know. That's very unsettling because you will never truly know if he went on there for fame, if he really did meet me by chance. You know, it's funny because before everything went viral, everyone was like, R and.

[Podcast Host]

B, love, Tyler, Ashley.

[Ashley]

Ooh, finally we got one kind of situation. And y' all felt what I felt through that wall. You know what I mean? Like, we were connecting in a very deep and emotional way. And throughout the year of marriage, I felt loved. I felt loved.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Obviously, again, there were things that I kind of was like, okay, I didn't sign up for this, but, like, I felt he was my friend. That's the thing. If we had nothing, we had a really good bond, or so I thought. But then it comes into play because of who he is. Was he playing a character?

[Podcast Host]

100% he was.

[Ashley]

Who is this dude?

[Podcast Host]

The fact that we still can't answer.

[Ashley]

These questions today on his whole forehead, it's a huge question mark, too. I don't know if he knows who he is.

[Podcast Host]

Do you think he would ever do a sit down?

[Ashley]

I hope he doesn't.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Cause what I mean, by all means, go ahead, but it's nothing you can say besides, yes, I did this to this woman.

[Podcast Host]

So how has the experience changed the way you see love and commitment?

[Ashley]

Not at all. It hasn't changed it. You know why the girl's still hopeful. Yes. And I've worked on this in therapy a lot because before I went to the show, I was abstinent for a year and I was really focusing on myself and what I wanted, which is why this sucks so much. Because I was ripe and ready. Right.

[Podcast Host]

Listen, I know how it feels to get ready.

[Ashley]

He called me in a very vulnerable time where I was in my soft girl era, because it's funny, my mom and my friends used to say, I don't give guys wiggle room. Now they do wiggles. You see why I don't give them wiggle room? That's why I used to be so hard on men, and I tried to be this softer version of myself, but I want to keep her. Just because I gave my love to the wrong person doesn't mean that my love is not top tier. I know the love that I give, and so I don't want to give him that power to change that.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Yeah. So you still feel.

[Ashley]

I, I, I, I Truly love, love, you know? And I know that there's someone out there for me because of how I love and love my family and love my friends and love strangers, you know? So I. I can't. Tyler has taken enough from me.

[Podcast Host]

He can't take that one more time for the people in the bed.

[Ashley]

Cannot take that as well.

[Podcast Host]

Do you think there's anything you would have done differently in your relationship or how you handled the breakup?

[Ashley]

So during my many, many spirals, I was just like, I shoulda. I shoulda. I coulda. I coulda. I had to stop doing that, too, because until they come up with a time machine where I can do something about it, you know, if they did, first one on there, no matter the price.

[Podcast Host]

Hello. Hello.

[Ashley]

You know, take me. But until they. Until they can do that, I had to really say in that moment, I did what my heart told me to do. And I think that it's not productive to think about, like, what I should have did. What I should have did. What I will say is what I've learned and what I'll take to, you know, other relationships is be careful with your empathy. Your empathy has to have boundaries. I'm a very empathetic person, and I think. I think that he played on that with all of his sad stories of how he grew up and all these things. And so if I could do any minor thing differently, it would be to protect my empathy, because I do have a pure. I have a genuinely pure heart. Like, we all know the good traits about ourselves, and, you know, that's one of them. So, no, I wouldn't have done anything differently, even though, I mean, if I could, you know.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. In my opinion. We've heard enough about Tyler.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Let's take an exhale. Proud of you.

[Ashley]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

What is bringing you joy or helping you heal in this new chapter?

[Ashley]

So I think one of the smallest things that women can do is just put on a face and go outside, you know? I know that seems A little mascara. Yeah, just a little something and just. And just remember who you are. So doing that, hanging with friends, updating my home, just anything that can make me feel renewed. And then the biggest joy that I have right now is, I got a puppy.

[Podcast Host]

Come on, puppy.

[Ashley]

Yes. And I pick her up this week, actually.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, what kind?

[Ashley]

She is a miniature poodle. She so cute. And it's funny. I got a call from the woman who is raising her and her sisters, and she said that she had a heart murmur, and I was like, oh, no. She's like, I Can offer you another puppy. I was like, I don't give up. No. She's like me. We're strong, resilient. And so I'm really excited for her because every. I love dogs, but every dog I've ever had was someone else's. Like, my mom's. My ex got us a dog. I let him keep him. And then Tyler, you know, had Kobe, and so now no matter where I go, she comes with me.

[Podcast Host]

So what do you hope to leave behind in all of this?

[Ashley]

Just all of the misconceptions about me, because I can't digest that anymore, especially if they aren't true. If they were true, I would need to work that out in therapy and figure out how I could be better, you know, if I was this evil stepmom, if I was all of the things that they tried to make me be. But. But I have to leave that and the idea that people are walking around like, Tyler, I can't allow the next man to pay for his mistakes. I still have to give people, you know, clean slates now.

[Podcast Host]

Clean slate with.

[Ashley]

A nasty clean slate with. Yeah, like, you know, I. I do have a little third eye open for you now, you know, but I have to just release all of the things that the social media has. Has, because if you don't, you'll begin to believe them. And that's just not who I am. And, you know, I think that one of the wisest things that we can do is take your mistakes and take your, you know, the knowledge you've learned from uncomfortable situation, a bad, crazy, insane situation, and learn from it. And that. That's where I'm at with my healing journey. It's like people either, you know, want to give me the bend in doubt, or they don't.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

You know, and so I just have to release that.

[Podcast Host]

Are you doing any more shows?

[Ashley]

I. You know, it depends.

[Podcast Host]

It depends. You're open.

[Ashley]

I'd be open to doing another show.

[Podcast Host]

Dating.

[Ashley]

We need a better lineup of men.

[Podcast Host]

Come on.

[Ashley]

But I would be.

[Podcast Host]

So you would do a dating show?

[Ashley]

I would do another show. I mean, let's try this again. Oh, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

That would be a cute title for spin off, right? Hello. Is there anything that you want to clear up that you feel like maybe you want to leave with the people that you want to say that you haven't gotten a chance to say, or maybe that's been on your heart to be like, listen, this is the period to that story. Like, let's end it off on this note.

[Ashley]

If I had to say Anything to just close this out. It would be. Just humanize me for a moment and put me in your shoes. Not saying you would have made the decisions that I made, but think of me as your homegirl. Right. In that instance, the love you guys could have given me could have really helped me, you know, in a. In a really, really, really chaotic time. And I think that if you are gonna do this for said celebrity in the future to just be mindful of your delivery, because people think that the things they say and just send. Like, I've even had people who I clap back at and they say, I'm sorry. I don't think they expect it to affect you. And so just be more. Just be more mindful. I was navigating an impossible situation, you know, in the best way that I knew how. And I was always gonna leave when I found out what I needed to find out for myself. Right. If. If. If I found out what I needed to find out for myself. And I think that, you know, the things that they were saying, like, I'm desperate me in the most humble way.

[Podcast Host]

Right. Desperate for what?

[Ashley]

Desperate for what?

[Podcast Host]

Right. We're good.

[Ashley]

I bagged men before this. Like, that was never the reason why I went on Love is Blind. I went on Love is Blind for a shakeup, because why not? You know, it's like, oh, you're a bird. I've never been referred to as a bird in my life. The closest thing I've been referred to as a bird is when people call me fly. That's the only thing, you know. And so it's like, just be mindful of the labels that you're giving people from a scenario that you're looking at from the outside in.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Ashley]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. And maybe let's not take it on as a personal battle.

[Ashley]

Take it on as a personal battle. Vendetta. Someone that you really know. You know what I mean? And I think at the end of the day, if you can give me that grace, great. If you can't, I'm sorry. I think I'm an amazing person. Thank you. Someone who met me at Target for five minutes could tell you that, you know, and it's like they. They. They saw something and they crusaded behind it. And. And I just think that people should be more mindful moving forward.

[Podcast Host]

I agree. I said it once, I'll say it a zillion times. I think you're amazing.

[Ashley]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

You're so loving, great energy, so educated, so beautiful. So I already know next time I see you, you're gonna Be like, girl, period. Are you dating?

[Ashley]

I'm not dating right now. I wanted to take the time to actually go through all this, heal, go to therapy and work out all the things. And, you know, like, I mentioned with it being public, I wanted to be sure that men just weren't like, ooh, baked, you know? This is good. Like, she's gonna be a little weeping, though. The DMs are open now.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Ashley]

Yeah. By the time this airs, I would have filed for divorce.

[Podcast Host]

And the DMs are open, please.

[Ashley]

Hold on. The DMs are open, but please only come if you're fully cooked.

[Podcast Host]

Come on.

[Ashley]

Dessert, drink, side dish, all of it. Like, don't come with no nonsense.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Like, contrary to believe, I don't tolerate it.

[Podcast Host]

You're gonna be just fine. Oh, you're gonna be just fine.

[Ashley]

I know that.

[Podcast Host]

And I need to come to. Where are you? Dc.

[Ashley]

I'm Virginia, but I'm right there.

[Podcast Host]

I need to come.

[Ashley]

Please.

[Podcast Host]

We need. We've been saying this for a very long time, girl. Yeah.

[Ashley]

We could just kick back, take you to brunch.

[Podcast Host]

You know, I'm in LA now.

[Ashley]

I know.

[Podcast Host]

I am here. I am a resident forever. But for now, yeah, girl, I'm trying to go to London. Oh, really?

[Ashley]

To live?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Is that an exclusive?

[Podcast Host]

No.

[Ashley]

Let you go, I was gonna say.

[Podcast Host]

Really? No, we're gonna stay here for a little bit and then eventually make our way to London with you.

[Ashley]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Nice. From Charlotte to la.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. But this has been such a blessing having you here. And I do wanna just thank you because I know this is not easy. Like, we laugh and we Kiki'd a bit. But this is a real divorce, a real relationship, real feelings, real people involved, real children involved, your real life involved. And I just want to thank you for, like, one, feeling comfortable enough to share that with me. I feel really honored. And two, that you're opening up and giving your story and telling people. This is my reality. This is my truth. So I'm really grateful for you and I wish nothing but healing and blessings and opportunities for you, because you deserve it.

[Ashley]

Thank you. And, you know, I thought to myself, too, I was like. When I went on the show, I thought that my reason for being on the show was to show people that we're not a monolith and that we can be anything and that we're multifaceted. But now I think that my purpose for going on the show, even through all of the heartbreak and heartache, was to show women how to be resilient. And how to rise up, you know, and how to still remain classy while doing it. So.

[Podcast Host]

And life goes on.

[Ashley]

And also, like, no matter what anybody says, you know, I, I got out and some people don't get out. Some people stay for 20 plus years. And so I think there's power in that. And for anyone going through any scenario that's, that's watching this, if that could help one person, just seeing that you have the power within yourself to choose you, then oof, girl, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

You're on the other side.

[Ashley]

I am. And it feels really good to be here. It is very liberating. After war.

[Podcast Host]

You survived the battle. You survived the war. So thank you again.

[Ashley]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

And thank you guys for listening to another episode of what's the Reality? Be sure to follow me on all social platforms at WhatstherealityPod. Subscribe on YouTube and I will see you next time next Wednesday. Bye.

[Ashley]

What's the reality? What's the reality?

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