Love Is Blind’s KB Is Back! Choosing Herself, the Messy Reunion, and Off Camera Moments

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Love Is Blind’s KB Is Back! Choosing Herself, the Messy Reunion, and Off Camera Moments"

What's the Reality? | Hosted by Amber Desiree (AD) | Guest: Calabria "KB" | November 12, 2025

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Main Theme / Purpose

This episode features Calabria "KB," standout from the latest season of Love Is Blind, returning to share her unfiltered experience. The conversation with host Amber Desiree (AD) dives into KB's personal journey—from surviving a dramatically-edited season and the emotional reunion, to choosing herself at the altar and clearing up misconceptions about her relationship with Edmund. KB reveals key behind-the-scenes dynamics, addresses internet rumors, and provides insight into what it means to navigate reality TV as a Black woman, all with characteristic candor, humor, and grace.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reactions to the Reunion & Watching the Show Back

• KB’s Emotional Relief:
  • “I actually feel so, like, rejuvenated. Like, relieved. Like, I just feel fresh.” (01:32)
• Difficulty of Vulnerability on TV:
  • KB admits to feeling "icky" about watching herself cry on television, explaining that friends haven’t even seen her cry before. (02:01)
  • AD responds with empathy: "Give yourself grace. Because we don't know how anybody would react in any of those circumstances." (03:22)

2. Editing, Off-Camera Moments & Stereotypes

• Off-Camera Tension:
  • KB stresses how much context is missed, referencing disagreements before the cameras rolled. (03:52)
  • Example: The "rodeo scene" outburst was a culmination of off-camera fights. "It looked like I tripped out on him for no reason. And it’s like, no, it’s actually plenty of reason." (05:00)
• Navigating Stereotypes:
  • KB wrestled with not wanting to come off as the "angry Black woman," a perception reinforced by Edmund and friends’ comments. (05:31)

3. Social Media Backlash & Misdiagnosis

• Commentary and Negativity:
  • While KB receives mostly positive feedback, negative comments about her being a "pick-me" or "mean" still sting. (07:05)
• Internet Diagnosing Edmund:
  • KB expresses frustration about fans speculating that Edmund has autism without official disclosure, noting it’s disrespectful to both him and the autism community, and that being genuine should not be pathologized. (08:14)
  • “I really, really like to defend him in that sense, because I would hate to be my genuine, authentic self, and people keep diagnosing me.” (09:03)

4. Challenges in the Relationship with Edmund

• Communication and Manipulation:
  • Communication was their main challenge, with KB adapting herself without reciprocation. She points out Edmund's manipulative crying, especially when evading accountability:
    • “If you just did something wrong, you can’t come to me and just start crying saying, I love you and no.” (11:00)
• Off-Screen vs. On-Screen Personae:
  • Edmund's behavior, especially under the influence, was drastically different, including an incident attempting to take KB’s friend Casey to the bathroom. (18:05-19:11)
  • Their worst fights and most tender moments were often not filmed. (49:34)

5. The Influence of Family

• Meeting Edmund’s Mother:
  • KB was curious to observe family dynamics and trauma origins. Found the Instagram "hood girl" remarks both hilarious and revealing about generational/gender ideas. (14:53-16:13)
• Her Own Family’s Perspective:
  • KB’s family wanted her to choose herself, recognized her stress, and supported her decision at the altar. (27:10-30:00)
  • Her mother’s kindness toward Edmund, especially since his mother did not attend the wedding, was a touching moment for KB. (27:58)

6. Choosing Herself on Wedding Day

• Real-Time Decision:
  • KB grappled with loving Edmund’s potential, not reality. Her mother’s advice to “choose you” echoed as she ultimately said no at the altar. (26:21-27:18)
  • “At the altar, I think I almost chose him...I decided to choose me.” (27:19)
• Aftermath:
  • KB shared her guilt and difficulty in choosing herself, sitting alone post-wedding and crying over the pain of disappointing someone she cared for. (32:29-33:28)

7. Navigating Love Is Blind as a Black Woman

• Unique Pressures:
  • As the only Black woman in her couple and often the only Black woman on camera, KB felt compelled to code-switch and resist stereotypes.
  • “I could never unmask. I could never unmask.” (43:44)
• Defending Herself Against Internal and External Stereotypes:
  • KB laments having to defend Blackness to a Black man who’d never dated a Black woman, placing extra emotional labor on her. (42:28-44:57)
  • Despite that, she’s proud of gracefully asserting herself and suggests her experience is a reflection of challenges many Black women face in the dating world and especially on TV. (46:14)

8. Insights into the Reunion & Post-Show Life

• Messy Reunion & Cast Drama:
  • KB avoided post-show cast drama: “It was just like a big, messy bubble of sex.” (47:59)
• Life After the Show:
  • KB relocated to Richmond as a traveling social worker. No immediate plans for new reality shows, but open to fun opportunities that aren’t about marriage. (49:03, 54:32)
• Missed Moments & Faith:
  • KB expresses disappointment that her and Edmund’s genuine, fun, and faith-based bond wasn’t shown: “We prayed together every day after the date.” (50:45)

9. Reflecting on Growth and What’s Next

• Lessons Learned:
  • KB realizes her pattern of choosing others over herself and striving to “fix” or “save” partners, but now seeks a relationship with mutual care.
    • “I just want to be this gentle, loving, soft girl... I don’t want to save you from no trauma. If you come in with trauma, baby, I don’t got it for you.” (53:49)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• KB, on the difficulty of TV vulnerability:

  • “Watching myself be vulnerable was nasty...the world had to see me cry was just like, girl, what are you doing? Tighten up.” (02:01)

• KB, on being stereotyped:

  • “After the wedding...his best friend...went up to my mom when the cameras went away and said, ‘we all know KB deserves to be with a thug.’” (05:46)

• Defending Edmund from internet rumors:

  • “It’s very offensive to those that do and very offensive to Edmond to keep diagnosing him with things he don’t have just because you don’t agree with his behaviors.” (08:14)
  • “I was not at work in the pods or in the show, period. I’m just genuinely that patient. That’s just who I am." (08:54)

• KB’s approach to conflict:

  • “I’m just a very direct person. Like, we’re going to address that elephant in the room.” (12:25)

• Host (AD), encouraging KB:

  • “Give yourself grace, because under those circumstances, I couldn’t even tell you how I would behave.” (13:37)

• On not showing a complete picture:

  • “We laughed a lot in the pod. We cracked up a lot. We just, we bonded a lot.” (49:34)
  • “We prayed together every day after the date.” (50:45)

• On the importance of choosing herself:

  • “I put my feelings to the side to support him. I even stopped myself from crying to make sure I could be there for him. Because I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I don’t want to break anyone’s heart.” (32:29)

• On Black womanhood and TV:

  • “It’s just a lot of pressure on you to make sure you don’t look like that angry black woman. And when you are wanting to snap, it’s like, do I snap the way I want to snap, or do I have to tone it down to make sure America doesn’t get...?” (44:57)
  • “I do think that I typically extend more grace [than] I’m ever given.” (46:14)

• On future relationships and self-growth:

  • “Now I’ve just realized...I just want to be this gentle, loving, soft girl that just loves you in a way you’ve never been loved before, and that’s it. I don’t want to save you from no trauma.” (53:49)

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:32 | KB describes feelings after surviving the reunion | | 03:22 | AD encourages KB to give herself grace | | 05:00 | KB explains off-camera arguments before the “rodeo scene” | | 08:14 | KB’s stance on autism rumors and defending Edmund | | 11:00 | Discussion on manipulation and communication with Edmund | | 14:53 | KB reacts to Edmund’s mom’s “hood aesthetic” Instagram comment | | 26:21 | Wedding day/walking to the altar: choosing herself | | 27:58 | KB’s mom comforting Edmund at the wedding | | 32:29 | Aftermath of choosing herself, emotional toll | | 42:28 | KB describes being the only Black woman in her couple | | 46:14 | KB on grace, patience, and perception as a Black woman | | 47:59 | Reunion “mess and drama”—behind-the-scenes cast dynamics | | 49:34 | Missed moments, laughter, and faith with Edmund in the pods | | 53:49 | KB’s growth: not ‘fixing’ or ‘saving’ partners anymore | | 54:44 | KB open to more reality TV, but nothing involving marriage |

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Overall Takeaways

• KB’s journey was complex, shaped by editing and off-camera realities, but ultimately about self-love and choosing herself.
• She demonstrated vulnerability in public, navigated painful stereotypes, and offered rare candor about the difficulties of interracial dating within the Black community.
• The show failed to capture her full, fun, and faith-filled personality—something she hopes viewers will know and that future opportunities might spotlight.

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For anyone who didn’t catch the episode, this summary delivers a rich, episode-spanning view of KB’s experiences and evolution, highlighting her signature humor, reflective honesty, and unwavering grace under reality TV pressure.

Transcript

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[Calabria (KB)]

Okay.

[Host (Ad)]

Hello, you guys, and welcome back to another episode of what's the Reality? It's your girl ad. And I'm so happy to have you guys joining me back, but I'm more excited to have my homegirl here. Calabria, AKA kb.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yes.

[Host (Ad)]

Welcome back. How you feeling?

[Calabria (KB)]

Excited. I'm always excited around you.

[Host (Ad)]

I know. You look like a million bucks.

[Calabria (KB)]

Thank you.

[Host (Ad)]

Literally, last time you were here, there was so much I wanted to talk about, but we could not do it. And I hate that. But, like, I needed you here to get what little tea I could get, but now I can get all the tea.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Host (Ad)]

Okay, so let's. Let's get into it. How are you feeling having survived your reunion?

[Calabria (KB)]

I actually feel so, like, rejuvenated. Like, relieved. Like, I just feel fresh. I feel like I had so much, like, anxiety, so much, so many nerves that I just needed to let go. And even though maybe everything wasn't answered at the reunion, just the fact that we were able to make up and just, okay, let's hug it out. You. You know, maybe we were just two people that just couldn't communicate properly and just leave it at that. And you meant no harm? I meant no harm. Just two growing people trying to understand this life.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah. What was it like watching yourself back and reliving everything?

[Calabria (KB)]

Oh, it was so icky. Why? It was just like. It's like, first of all, watching myself be vulnerable was nasty. Cause it's just like I have friends that's never seen me cry. So the fact that the world had to see me cry was just like, girl, what are you doing? Tighten up. And then.

[Host (Ad)]

But that's what the show's about. Being vulnerable and being. And showing a different side of yourself. Because it's like, this is not like a game show. It's a show about, like, love and marriage and being vulnerable. So, I mean, ultimately, you did what.

[Calabria (KB)]

I was supposed to do.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

And I agree. So it was kind of like an icky feeling, but it was also, like, I was just so happy that I was able to let those emotions out. Especially, like, about my dad. Watching that back, I forget that's how I felt. And I sometimes wonder if I still feel that way. I just kind of push it to the back kind of thing. And then also, like, just certain moments with me and Edmund in the midst of us arguing and me feeling like I was being taken out of my character. And I thought I had outgrown some of those, like, nasty habits, but it was nice to kind of just see that. Not nice. It just sucked seeing that I could allow myself to be taken out of my character instead of learning or using the techniques I learned, take a breather and then come back and speak to somebody with love. Yeah. Because it's. It looks like I didn't love him in certain moments just based off how I spoke kind of thing. And it was like, no, I do love you, but I can see how it could be perceived that I don't love you because I'm not speaking to you so kindly and you're working through.

[Host (Ad)]

It in real time, you know? And I, like. I think there's a lot to be said for anybody that's going through something that's real and raw in real time, because no one knows how you'll react when you've been pushed, when you've heard things that you can't, you know, you don't know how to react to. So give yourself grace. Give yourself grace. Because we don't know how anybody would react in any of those circumstances. So give yourself grace.

[Calabria (KB)]

For sure. I'm trying to work on it. Thank you for that. Give grace.

[Host (Ad)]

Has anything surprised you about how the story was edited or shown?

[Calabria (KB)]

I guess I didn't realize how many conversations happened off camera. And, like, how. I guess I kept trying to avoid the angry black woman Persona or stereotype. And it almost kind of still gave me, but just due to so many scenes happening off camera or me getting so irritated off camera, then trying to hide it on camera. And then, like, for example, the rodeo, right. We got into it so bad earlier that day, arguing or bickering. Right before walking into the rodeo, right? Walking in. What am I doing? Chest out, chin up, sucking it up. Like, I'm like, this. Not no one Else's business, what's going on. Holding his arm, smiling, supporting him. And then for him to say that shady comment, it's like the straw that broke the camel's back. Because it's like, I was already. I'm already hiding everything and, like, shoving everything deep down inside. And so to. For you to come and say something so shady like that when we've already talked about you comparing me a thousand times, whether it's to your exes, to the women, the. Whatever the case may be. And it was just a lot to intake. And just watching that scene, it looked like I tripped. I might have tripped out on him for no reason. And it's like, no, it's actually plenty of reason, because he knows what happened before. Nobody else knows, but he knows what happened. And so it was just like, why would you say. And why would you do that? So I just feel like there was a couple of scenes that just made me look so angry, and I'm not an angry person.

[Host (Ad)]

Do you feel like you went on the show with a predetermined, like, factor that I'm gonna make sure I'm not perceived as angry and black, like the angry black woman? Or did you get on the show, you saw the cameras, and you're like, I know how easy it is. So now you're gonna put that on?

[Calabria (KB)]

I don't think I thought about it before the show, but in the midst of the show while we're filming, and I would catch myself reacting sometimes I'm like, oh, snap, wait. And I think that stereotype also came from. And this is no shade to Edmund. But I asked him, I was like, why do you keep stereotyping me and you look like me?

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah. Like, because he would even just talking, he would refer to my exes as like. Or he would compare my exes to hood dudes. And I'm like, my exes aren't hood. Like, he's like, I don't know what you're used to, but I'm not hood like your exes. And I'm like, my exes are teachers and engineers and athletes. Like, I'm like, sir, come on. But it wasn't just him. It was his friends as well. Like, to the point to where, like, after the wedding, I mentioned this before, that his best friend, one of his best friends, went up to my mom when the cameras went away and said, we all know KB deserves to be with a thug. So it wasn't just him thinking like that. It's all of his friends. And then I.

[Host (Ad)]

Well, where did it come from?

[Calabria (KB)]

Exactly? You know what I mean?

[Host (Ad)]

They don't know you from a hole in the wall. So it's so funny being on TV and then watching yourself on tv. You don't really get to process that. And what about, like, your friends and family? Like, how do they react to seeing you on tv?

[Calabria (KB)]

They're supportive.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

I've had to put in boundaries and the support, you know? Cause my friends, they will argue these people down.

[Host (Ad)]

They're ready to go off, girl.

[Calabria (KB)]

I'm like, get off y' all fences. Get.

[Host (Ad)]

No, I literally had to get. I had to give my friends and family, like, PR training. Like, don't say anything.

[Calabria (KB)]

Let the people think what they think. It doesn't matter what you say or argue back. Their perspective will still be their perspective. My friends are probably a little different than yours. They don't listen. Look into my comments at your own risk. What you do on Netflix.

[Host (Ad)]

Are they being nice to you, the people in the comments?

[Calabria (KB)]

No, I think I get more positive messages than negative. And so I try to really focus on the positive ones. But the negative ones do still hit you a little bit. Yeah, but, I mean, I don't try to. I'm saying I don't try to read the other comments. I was just in the room reading the comments. But, yeah, I think the negatives one just kind of, like, they hit you a little different when, you know, you're being so genuine in yourself, and it's like people are calling you a pick me. Or people are saying you're being mean to someone with this certain diagnosis that they don't have? And I'm like, do they not know how mean that is to diagnose somebody who's only been their genuine, authentic self, who has not came forward and said he has any of those diagnosis, but have also shown that he struggles to communicate certain things? So please stop diagnosing this man. I feel so bad for him. We talked about that last night, too. He was just like. He just doesn't know how to come forward and talk about it. But I'm like, well, do you have anything that you need to tell me? And he's like, no. And I'm like. And I asked him, I said, do you mind if I mention it? And he said, no. He was like, I would like you to clear it. He was like, because he doesn't know how to clear it.

[Host (Ad)]

Okay, let's clear it then.

[Calabria (KB)]

Because I need to know, have you seen it? You've seen the comments and all the.

[Host (Ad)]

Think pieces and stuff?

[Calabria (KB)]

Of course. I just think it's so unfair because we always tell people, be your genuine, authentic self. Know, always be yourself. Don't try to be anybody else. And then this man has the platform to be himself and show nothing but himself. And it's, oh, he acts like that because he has autism. And there's nothing wrong with those individuals that have autism, but it's very offensive to those that do and very offensive to Edmond to keep diagnosing him with things he don't have just because you don't agree with his behaviors. Maybe he has trauma. Cool. We all have some kind of trauma. And I'm not downplaying his trauma in any way, but it's just more so like, it's just unfair to keep writing off some of his wrongs. To say, KB's a social worker. She should have seen the signs of autism. And it's like, first of all, I was not at work. And despite what everybody may think, I was not at work in the pods or in the show, period. I'm just genuinely that patient. That's just who I am. It just so happened my job and who I am as a person go hand in hand. So, well, which I'm really good at my job. But I just think that's so unfair to him. And I really, really like to defend him in that sense, because I would hate to be my genuine, authentic self, and people keep diagnosing me. Mental health disorders or disabilities and things. It's just I would probably, like, break down. He's holding it well.

[Commercial Announcer]

So.

[Calabria (KB)]

He's holding it so well. He's like, I just don't. I ignore it. Yeah. Yeah. But.

[Host (Ad)]

Well, you heard it here. No. And that I. I had the same sentiment. And I think this discourse that people feel so determined to diagnose anyone with anything from clips on a TV show, and now it's, he shouldn't have been cast and he shouldn't have been this. And he shouldn't have been this. And I feel so bad. I'm not saying don't feel bad. Feel however you want to feel. But that doesn't excuse behavior. That doesn't excuse manipulation. That doesn't excuse cohortion. That doesn't excuse anything. Just because you feel bad.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah. You can feel two things can be true. Those things could have happened. You can also feel bad just because maybe the way he reacts to things. Because I still, I will always have a soft spot for him, no matter what. Like, I'm on the stage last night at the reunion. I'm almost about to cry, just talk. I caught myself calling him baby on accident because I haven't seen him since the wedding. And I almost just went right back into that person we were when we. Not in the sense of, like, the deep feelings, like, like, more so. Just that's the last time we were who we were when we seen each other was engaged. And so for the first time I see you a year and a half later, I'm almost like. But, baby, that's like, oh, wait, nope, Edmond, that's not it, baby. Yeah. I'm like, oh, that's not it. But, yeah, I. Yeah, I just do want to protect it.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

Because I know he doesn't 100% mean any harm, but. But he understands what's going on.

[Host (Ad)]

Right.

[Calabria (KB)]

He just might. Can't communicate it the best way, but he understands 100%.

[Host (Ad)]

To clarify. Thank you.

[Calabria (KB)]

Okay.

[Host (Ad)]

If you were to look back, what do you think were some of the biggest hurdles in you and Edmund's relationship?

[Calabria (KB)]

Communication was a big one. We just couldn't figure out how to communicate appropriately. And I kept trying to change my form of communication to fit his, and I just couldn't meet him where he was like. And I definitely think communication was one. I think the. One of the biggest hurdles was the manipulation. Because. To clarify, I don't care about him crying. The crying still didn't bother me. It's when he cried. Yeah. It's not about you crying because you're sad or you're crying because you had a bad day. You could do that every day. All I care. I don't care. I've dated men and I've dated women, so women are hella emotional, which is why I'm okay with the men. That's emotional. But I also need him to understand or needed him to understand that it's about when you do it. If you just did something wrong, you can't come to me and just start crying saying, I love you and no. Just like in the rodeo scene. No, I don't want to hear that. And it's so shocking for people to see that. I got so angry, but I had already told him that, like, 10 times. Like, prior to that. He had to get on his knees on time, like, telling me how much he loved me and need me. Cried multiple different times about how much he loves me and needs me in the midst of arguments, but never owns what he did, never acknowledges it or never apologized for it. He didn't. He never felt the need to apologize. He was a person that could just. Something happens. He doesn't apologize. Sweeps under the rug, wakes up the next morning, oh, good morning. I made breakfast. It's like, wait, no, we didn't address the problem. Like, let's talk about it. And so it could look like I'm just so aggressive, but I'm just a very direct person. Like, we're going to address that elephant in the room.

[Host (Ad)]

It's just also. It's so hard because, like you said, when we started the conversation, there was so much happening off screen. And honestly, I'm starting to get the vibe that that was the theme of the season. Honestly, everybody I've talked to is like, context is missing. We had so many conversations off screen, which is relatable, but it's like, if those conversations that are happening off screen are changing your character on screen, it makes it so hard for us to keep up. So you look mad and he looks sad, and we don't know that 20 minutes before. It's just so hard. Yeah, it's really, really hard to keep up when you don't know how much you guys are either talking or how little you guys are talking. So, again, give yourself grace, because we don't see that. We don't know. And I know that you have this need almost to defend yourself and feel like I have to say that this was happening, but don't. You don't have to do that. Yeah, I believe you. We believe you. Like, I don't think for one second that you just turn up because you feel like being mean to somebody that's crying. You don't give that energy. So.

[Calabria (KB)]

Not me at all. Your.

[Host (Ad)]

Your word of the day is grace.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

That needs to be my word. Like, for the next six months.

[Host (Ad)]

Give yourself grace. Because under those circumstances, I couldn't even tell you how I would behave. It wouldn't be that. I could tell you that much. It would not be that. Okay, let's talk about your meeting with Edmund's mom.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah.

[Host (Ad)]

As a viewer, that meeting felt intense for a few different reasons. What was that meeting like for you?

[Calabria (KB)]

I was just intrigued to see, like, I had learned so much about her that I don't think she knew I knew about her. And so for me, it was just me being observant, like, just seeing, like, how does he act around her? I know that she's someone that unintentionally caused a lot of trauma for his life that he may not have ever spoken on, and I don't think he still has spoken on to this day, but I just think I was just observing to see how he acts around mom and see how mom, like, what will she talk about? Like, will she be upfront about, hey, Edmund had this childhood, or will, you know, I just wanted to see what that, you know, what that.

[Host (Ad)]

Dynamic.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah. Dynamic was going to be like.

[Host (Ad)]

So what we saw was pretty accurate to what was happening or.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah, for the most part, I think there was some. Yeah, I think. I think that's the best way to put it.

[Host (Ad)]

How did it feel, watching back, about her comment about your Instagram.

[Calabria (KB)]

I'm sorry, I actually think it's hilarious. Yeah.

[Host (Ad)]

Why?

[Calabria (KB)]

Because that has started such a big thing in my comments. They're saying, like, oh, she gives this hood girl aesthetic. Okay. We could tell that KB is such a hood girl. A hood rat and this and that. And I'm like, what about me gives hood? Right? Like, okay, am I from the South? Yes. Is Florida considered one of the, you know, Southern states? Yes. But I don't associate being from Florida hood. And I'm not sure what I've done in the show that gives hood aesthetics or what's on my Instagram that give hood aesthetics. I just think I like to look good and I like to take pictures and then I post them. I might wear what most people might not wear, and I'm also okay with that. My mom has adjusted in the midst of me getting, turning and getting in my 20s, she had to, like, she. I used to get phone calls all the time from her and be like, take that picture down. I'm like, this is my Instagram and I am cool. And so my auntie used to call me all the time and be like, you are embarrassing your mother. But it would be like just a swimsuit picture. But we are a different generation, right. And so over time, they just adjusted and realized it's not the fact that I'm disrespecting myself or anything like that, just because I like to wear certain clothing or whatever. It's just how I carry myself. It doesn't mean you can touch. Touch me, doesn't mean you can grab me. It doesn't mean that you're more accessible or anything like that. It just simply means I just like to look good. And what I like to look good in, I work out for a reason.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

That's just that.

[Host (Ad)]

Were you shocked to hear what she said?

[Calabria (KB)]

Oh, 100.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

Because, I mean, I just. I really would love. I would have loved to been a fly on the wall in the midst of their, like, conversation on the phone or wherever they were, just to hear, like, Their raw comments. Because I don't think that was the raw comment. It was just. Oh, it was a no.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

And so everybody's in my comments, like, oh, yeah, it was definitely a no. Looking at her Instagram too. And I'm just like.

[Host (Ad)]

Okay, yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

Like, okay, girl.

[Host (Ad)]

Or boys, have you ever talked to Edmund about that comment?

[Calabria (KB)]

Or I didn't care enough, too. That wasn't something that came up about in the midst of our conversation.

[Host (Ad)]

Well, are you changing your Instagram or are you good with how it is, girl?

[Calabria (KB)]

I'll probably post something worse tomorrow just for the hell of it.

[Host (Ad)]

I know that's right. Keep a. Maggie, we never got to see your mom meet Edmund for the first time. How did that meeting go?

[Calabria (KB)]

It went good, actually.

[Host (Ad)]

Really?

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah. My mom just didn't want to focus on in the meeting, like, our problems. She didn't want to sit there and talk about, like, what our problems were. She said, I know you, and I know you're giving it to him enough. She was like, I just want to get. Genuinely get to know him as him.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

And we. Her. It was her and my sister. I only have one little sister on my mom's side, and I think she was like 20 at the time or 19 at the time. And so both of them know me very well, her and my little sister. And so they thought it was a very interesting combination.

[Host (Ad)]

Is he someone that they would set you up with?

[Calabria (KB)]

I don't. I don't really think. No. But I know that they. But they weren't shocked to see, like, okay, this is somebody. I don't have a type.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

So they weren't really shocked, but they were just like, this is very far from your usual, but the fact that you don't have a type, it doesn't shock me. But please make sure this isn't a project of yours kind of thing.

[Host (Ad)]

You had the big argument where you told Edmund he wasn't the same person on camera. You talked a little bit about this at the reunion, but what did you, like, really mean by that?

[Calabria (KB)]

He just had a lot of different behaviors on and off camera. I think one of them was the drinking. When he was drinking, he was a different person. Sometimes more like more tearful. Cool. I get cry whenever I'm drunk as hell, too, but a lot of times it was like he would just do things. He tried to take Casey to the bathroom when he was under the influence. I had a list and I left it somewhere.

[Host (Ad)]

Edmund tried to take Casey to the bathroom. I feel like there's so much more.

[Calabria (KB)]

Was he under the influence? Yes. Do I think a lot of his bad decisions happen under the influence? Yes. He tried to say, oh, I tried to take her. I was going to take her to the bathroom. Then it was. I wasn't taking her to the bathroom. Then none of it made sense if you asked me. So he just never really owned it. And he was just like, oh, I just don't remember. Then it was, okay, well, I was just taking her to the bathroom to talk to her about me and KB's relationship, because that's KB's friend. And I'm like, we have a balcony, mind you. A beautiful balcony.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

You know, city views. Yeah. Bathroom is where I'm gonna go take your homeboy to talk about me and your relationship versus.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah, interesting.

[Calabria (KB)]

So what was he going to go do? I don't know. He gaslighted me so bad about that afterwards. For weeks. It was, you think I'm. You think I'm good enough to pull a girl like Casey? And I'm like, do you think you're good enough to. So I was like, okay. Like that. You can't. Whatever that meant. So I'm just like, okay.

[Host (Ad)]

And then my head is starting to hurt, girl.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yes. It was so much. And then it was. Then there was a gaslighting of what did you think I was going in the bathroom to do? What did you think I was going?

[Host (Ad)]

That's why we're asking.

[Calabria (KB)]

I'm like, that's what I'm asking for.

[Host (Ad)]

Let's see.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah. So the conclusion of all of that was the week of the wedding. He told me that. I think that might have been the time. He also brought the flowers. He just kind of apologized for everything. So it wasn't just a mountain thing, I think. I think he apologized for all of the stuff that was going wrong and finally owned up to all of his behaviors. I think something just clicked. Like, he's like, I'm about to lose there. Let me tighten up. And so he. He's apologized for it, but he even still said he don't know what he was doing, but in that he was under the influence. And I'm just like, okay, because that's scary. It's scary because I was like, what if I wasn't there? And what if nobody was in the bathroom?

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah, that's scary.

[Calabria (KB)]

But.

[Host (Ad)]

We'Re all a little bit too old to not know our intentions behind actions.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah, for sure. For sure. And it just makes me wonder, was Casey gonna follow him all the way in the bathroom? Because I'm just. I just think she just felt so awkward. Some people aren't confrontational, but I don't think I would have ever went if someone's fiance came and grabbed me. Like, the manipulation was a little different when he was under the influence. Very dismissive. Whenever off camera, on camera, he would just act like a victim. I felt like just watching it, it looked like he would be so sad. Like that rodeo scene. I got so angry because I'm like, why would you go sit at the table by yourself?

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah. I can't even remember the question. That's okay.

[Host (Ad)]

The fight got heated, and we saw you explode a little bit, which later you said you regretted and apologized for on the show and at the reunion. Why do you think things escalated?

[Calabria (KB)]

I think the escalation got so back. I just got fed up. Yeah, I think it. I just was tired. I was exhausted. I wasn't working out like I usually do because it was just so much. Always something, like, on camera, off camera, it was always something like, it would get so bad that sometimes producers would just come in and say, this is. This isn't beneficial. Like, this is not helpful. Y' all need to both go to the corner, take a breather.

[Host (Ad)]

Like, each argument.

[Calabria (KB)]

Not each argument. No. It was just some argument. Every argument about the Casey situation got terrible. That conversation got terrible. And that conversation got so bad because that happened, like, the first weekend we moved in, and he didn't even apologize about it till the week of the weddings. So that's like, what, three weeks later? Two and a half. Three weeks later. So it's just like, you. It took you three weeks to own that? Yeah, every argument wasn't that intense, but he. His communication is terrible. Terrible on the regular. So y' all didn't really see our true arguments where he would mimic me or where he would start, like, was like, you were drunk that night. He was like, what were you doing? Were you not drunk? And it was just like, he would just mimic my questions back to me. So the frustration just was built and built and built. Like, I have so much patience, so I don't just explode just because it's a Wednesday or just because I didn't want to be in the snow. But, yeah, it was just built up, and it was so bad. And the argument right before that, he told another woman to speak over me while we were right before the mountains. And to think that you go from telling another woman to speak over me, tell me in the midst of me saying that you. That was dismissive. Telling me that he doesn't like the way I talk to him when we argue. I said, okay, I will fix that. Then to I apologized. Then for me to say, it's your turn to apologize, right? And he says, no, I'm not apologizing to you. I don't even want to sit by you no more. I don't want to talk to you. Gets out the car, slams the door, walks out, gives production hell. Then comes on a the SnowMobile and says, Bae, let's take a pic when the cameras come out.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

And so, yes, it looks like I'm tripping again on top of the mountains. Like I'm taking just angry and out of my character, but it's not for no reason.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

And he knew that, which is why he apologized for the.

[Host (Ad)]

It's so hard to like combat. Like, that's so. That's too much to think about. But after that fight, it seemed like you guys got into a much better place. We even saw you at the roller skating date, which was cute.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah, I had fun.

[Host (Ad)]

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[Calabria (KB)]

Things were better. I would say things got much better. I think the what did it for me was his apology. His apology. That was my first real apology I got from him the entire time.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

And that, for me, like I said on the show, was the first time I really seen him be a man. And I'm like, you're apologetic. You owned it. And I can be apologetic, too. I've been owning myself the whole time, but I'm gonna continue to own it. And this is what communication looks like. This is where it gets us. And I think that that's the version I had also had in the podcast, and it gave me that sniff, and it also gave me hope. And I think I even said it on the thing. I was like, this gave me hope again.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

And so I think we hugged it out and kissed or whatever. But, yeah, it definitely was better. Why he looked like that. I didn't know he was eating boogers at the time, sis. I didn't know. I did not know. I didn't know he was eating boogers and kissing the floor and stuff. Yeah.

[Host (Ad)]

How was that? How was that watching that?

[Calabria (KB)]

Oh, I was like. And I kept kissing that man. But he told me he doesn't do that anymore. He said that I made him grow a lot. So when we talked last night, so I'm proud of him. I'm like, okay, good.

[Host (Ad)]

Okay, let's talk wedding day.

[Calabria (KB)]

Okay.

[Host (Ad)]

What was going on in your head that. That day when you was getting ready?

[Calabria (KB)]

I had so many thoughts.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

I really didn't know my answer because I just had. Okay, so when they had picked my little tagline for my picture right on the head. Because I do fall in love with potential.

[Host (Ad)]

What was it?

[Calabria (KB)]

I fall in love with potential, or something like that. And so I was really debating, like, am I falling for potential? Because I see Edmund being a great man, but I'm like, at what cost to me? And then it was just like, but.

[Host (Ad)]

You know, he can be a great man, but just not, you're a great man. And that's okay.

[Calabria (KB)]

Two things can be true for sure. And so I just was. I just had so many thoughts running through, like, when I first walked through. And first of all, it was like I had just Started my period. It was so many emotions. Your wedding day? Yes, girl. It was a mess. Yeah. And so, like, my emotions were, like, bouncing all over the room. But, yeah, he. I didn't know what my answer was.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

My mom was just like, whatever you do, choose you. And that was that state that stuck in my head. And at the altar, I think I almost chose him.

[Host (Ad)]

What happened?

[Calabria (KB)]

I decided to choose me. It was just more so, like, what.

[Host (Ad)]

Was going on in your head that you were like, I can't. I can't.

[Calabria (KB)]

Our lifestyles are different. Just the way we communicate is different. I thought about, like, how much my mental and how stressed I had been for. For those weeks prior to the week of the wedding. I just had, like, a moment of clarity, and that was just like, you can't do this to yourself, and you can't do this to this man.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah. We got to meet your mom at the wedding, and the way she showed up for Edmund was really beautiful. That moment between them stood out, especially since his mom didn't end up coming, which was tough to watch. What was it like for you to see your mom step up for him in that way?

[Calabria (KB)]

I wasn't shocked at all. No. Like, when she came back into the bridal suite and said she just left Ed, that's Edmond Suite. I think I was like. I figured, like, I think I even called it out. I was like, she's probably over there in Edmond Suite. She loved Edmond. Like, she loved him. And no matter where she. I knew no matter where my decision was going to be, she was willing to, like, bring him into the family kind of thing. But watching the scene, it just. That made me tearful, too. Like, it was just, like, dang. Like, I get my kindness wholeheartedly from my mother. Like, the genuine boss. Everything. She's so sweet. Like, that is my girl. And I get it all from her. Like. Like, you could tell. She raised me. And so, yeah, I. It didn't make me feel no bad ways. I was happy she did it. I. I think it really helped Edmond out as well, considering his mom was unable to make it. So. Yeah.

[Host (Ad)]

Did she have any idea what your answer would have been at the altar, or was she.

[Calabria (KB)]

Girl. My family. I don't know if you've seen. They were. They showed them crying. They didn't know what the hell I was going to answer either. After the wedding, they were like. They all had their opinions on what my answer should be, which was. Was they. They all felt like I should say no. Yeah, Right. They just felt like it Just wasn't a good mesh. They felt like I had been so stressed. I had. Did so much crying. That's the most crying I've ever done in my life. And I would never cry that much again. Why not? That was too much crying. It was. It's one thing when you're crying tears of joy.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

It's another when you're crying tears of stress, where I'm having to go for walks away from the house so I can get off camera, get the mics away from me. I just need to talk raw, like, and. Or just walk and cry down the street and things. Like, if they. If people knew I was at the time, they would have had me walking down the street just crying because I just had to unleash so much all the time. And they seen a. Another side as well, and they seen all the raw and heard all the raw. So they're just like. But they. I confused them. But they also seen how beautiful we could have been and the wording of what we were stating. They just felt. And so they. It made them tearful. But they know. They didn't know. Yeah, they just had their opinions. But they said afterwards they got in the car with a bottle of liquor and they were like, girl, you scared us. Yeah. And I was like, well, I didn't really know either.

[Host (Ad)]

But do they feel like relief now?

[Calabria (KB)]

They're happy I chose myself. Yeah. They felt the same way my mom felt. They felt like I don't choose myself. And so, yeah, they felt the relief of knowing that I didn't have to. What the people are saying always work.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah, we rebuke that.

[Host (Ad)]

There was a moment where we got to see Edmund with his fifth grade teacher and they reunited. What were your thoughts about watching that?

[Calabria (KB)]

I almost cried during that part. I didn't get to meet her. I had wanted to meet her for sure, but I think it was hard for her to come out. I almost cried watching it, actually, because that's the woman that saved him. That's the woman that made sure he was good. That's who I heard about so much in the pods. And so it's just like. And hearing how she said Edmund was in the back of the classroom, like, dancing and stuff makes sense. But she realized that he was listening to everything. I'm like, that is definitely Edmund. And so it's like he's never changed.

[Host (Ad)]

So it gave you insight.

[Calabria (KB)]

It gave me insight. Insight. Like you've always been that, you know, child that's just been bouncing off the walls, but also just Is still present.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

And so. But to also hear, like, how Edmund changed her perspective as a teacher was so, like, heartfelt and so heartwarming. And it's just like, he really does. He's really impactful and influential on the people around him. Like, he does, like, grab the attention in the room a lot of times, whether it's doing one thing that's crazy or actually just being himself. But it was. It was very, like, almost cried in that scene. It was so cute.

[Host (Ad)]

Bring me back to the altar for a moment. Did you know ahead of time? I know you're kind of saying you are teetering. Yes or no. But once you made that decision, was it literally looking in his eyes or was it walking up that aisle? When. When did it hit you?

[Calabria (KB)]

I think when he said I do. When he said, I do, it hit me. Because as soon as he said, I do, I. My eyes just started tearing.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

Because I'm like, oh, my gosh. No, I can't. I was like, I can't do it. Like, I can't make this. I. I don't want this to be something that weighs on me too long.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

Like, I. I want something that's supposed to feel light. Marriage should feel light. Marriage should feel like, okay, we're about to leave here and go be happy. And I'm like, I feel like if we would have when we left there, we're gonna still have to unhash so much trauma. Or like, we just wasn't seeing eye to eye in a lot of areas.

[Host (Ad)]

And so you handled the moment with grace, per usual. You handled the whole show with grace. You even walked out together and comfort him through what was obviously a really emotional and painful moment. What was going through your head as you supported him through that?

[Calabria (KB)]

I put my feelings to the side to support him. I even stopped myself from crying to make sure I could be there for him. Because I never want to hurt anybody's feelings. I don't want to break anyone's heart. And I know what he told me before in the pots, like, how he felt like, it just doesn't work anywhere else. And he felt like this was his only chance at love. And so it was just like. I just felt it, like, felt it so deep. I just felt bad. That's really it. I just felt so bad. I felt like a terrible person. I really did. For choosing myself. I felt so terrible. And it was just like, okay. Because my mom said that she's like, you always choose other people. Choose yourself. Yeah. And I'm just like, okay. Whatever that looks like. And so. Because I've never done it for real in the moment. And so I just felt so bad. But it hit me when I got back to the bridal suite, and I just, like, I sat there, my little pretty dress all around the room, and just. And I'm just sitting there, legs crossed, boohoo, crying, looking in the mirror at that girl I should have just slid down the wall. I was so dramatic.

[Host (Ad)]

Put on a little summer walking and just have a moment for.

[Calabria (KB)]

I mean, I was just staring at myself. I'm gonna walk in. And she was like, no, what's wrong? Like, why are you boohooing like this? Like, you chose yourself, but it was just like, choosing yourself isn't always easy. Yeah.

[Host (Ad)]

And so, yeah, that seems to be, like, such a pattern for you. Like, I'm no therapist by any means, but I feel like every question I've asked you has started with, oh, I chose this person, or I chose this moment for this person, and I wanted him to feel this way. And I put myself. And it's just seeming to be like, a pattern. Where is that KB now? Are you still that girl right now who's like, I'm not gonna cry? Because you deserve to cry more and.

[Calabria (KB)]

You deserve to feel hurt more.

[Host (Ad)]

And you. You are going through pain, not me.

[Calabria (KB)]

I think I have started putting my feelings more at the forefront because my feelings are just as important as the next person. So I have tried to ensure that my feelings are also addressed. Because I think the problem is I always take on knowing that I'm such a strong individual. I'm like, I can take it. Like, I can put my feelings to the side and make sure. But are you good kind of thing. I still do it, to be honest. I think it is just going to take a partner to come along and understand that, yes, I always put others first, but a partner that always don't take advantage of it, but might also always put me first. So it's never me always doing it, then they're still choosing themselves. So it's like we meet each other halfway and just choose each other. So it's just like a partnership, and we just get it. It's just a selfless partnership.

[Host (Ad)]

Do you think there's anything that could have been done differently to make things work between you and Edmund?

[Calabria (KB)]

No, I think me and Edmund's course went the way it was supposed to go.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

Like, I don't really think there was anything that could have happened differently that would have made the chance the answer different at the altar. Watching it, I kind of just was a little confused. I'm like, damn, I did stick through a lot. Like, I'm like, I made it through a lot. Like, watching them, like, how did I keep going? But when I seen Edmund, I realized why I kept going. Like, I just. I kept choosing him. I just woke up and kept choosing him over and over and over and over again. I'm like, I want to wake up. I'm gonna choose you. And I do felt like he woke up every day and chose me, though. So it was just like we had. We had such a deep connection in the pods that did transfer over. But our fights were big fights. Yeah. And so it just. We just would talk through it. Like, it was literally times I wake up in the middle of the night at like, 12am and be like, hey, can we talk? And I'm like, I just want to apologize for how I spoke to you in anger today. Or can we talk? I don't like the way you make me feel about this. And he'll be like, ye. He'll wake up and would talk to me.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

And the calm Edmund would talk to me. Edmond wasn't always that person that's jumping around. And I never seen.

[Host (Ad)]

That's all we saw. Yeah, that's all we saw.

[Calabria (KB)]

That is all y' all saw. But he was not always that person. The person he was with his mom is a person he was a lot of times, too. The holidays are back at Starbucks, so share the season with a peppermint mocha. Starbucks signature espresso, velvety mocha and cool peppermint notes topped with whipped cream and dark chocolate curls together is the best place to be at Starbucks. Limu.

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[Calabria (KB)]

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[Calabria (KB)]

Edmund would just be chilling on the couch. We would watch shows together. We watch movies together. He did love rubbing my.

[Host (Ad)]

He can sit still.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yes.

[Host (Ad)]

Interesting.

[Calabria (KB)]

He can very much sit still.

[Host (Ad)]

I would have loved to see more of that.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yes. Edmond was not always that person. Just doing cartwheels or jumping and touching the roof or whatever the hell he was doing on there. Like. Yeah. Did he love rubbing my feet? Yes. And did I love it? Of Course.

[Host (Ad)]

And licking them.

[Calabria (KB)]

That too, but to each his own, you know? But like, we would literally sit there, take naps on the couch. He would rub my legs, rub my feet. We would watch.

[Host (Ad)]

I wish we got to see more of that side of him because it gave like, polar opposites. And I think, you know, opposites attract to some extent. But you guys gave so opposite that I just could not. And it wasn't for me to make sense of it because it's not my relationship, but I just could not even put the damn pieces to the puzzle together. Yeah, it just did not.

[Calabria (KB)]

Cause don't get me wrong, I have ADHD too. So like, maybe y' all didn't see me doing cartwheels in the living room. You were doing cartwheels too? I just do random shit. So like, I understand, but I'm not climbing in the cabinet though. But like, I will do random stuff. Like that's just like, girl, get up. Like my mama says I overstimulate her all the time. I just do it differently than admin. But I just understood some of his actions. But some of them you could see. I didn't really understand. But yeah, yeah, I just didn't judge him for it. Like.

[Host (Ad)]

Right, right.

[Calabria (KB)]

It just was what it was. If you want to do it, do it. Bye.

[Host (Ad)]

Interesting. I would have loved to see a more calm side of him.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah, he has a calm side.

[Host (Ad)]

Or maybe you cartwheeling so it could balance.

[Calabria (KB)]

It's like, oh, KB's like a lunatic too. Damn. Okay, it's making sense, you know? But yeah, like even last night, our conversation was so calming for an hour, like just talking, sitting there. He was just sitting there in his chair and I'm just sitting there, damn near face to face, just talking, chatting like.

[Host (Ad)]

And this is after the reunion?

[Calabria (KB)]

After the reunion.

[Host (Ad)]

What were you guys saying?

[Calabria (KB)]

I asked him.

[Host (Ad)]

Wait, had you spoken to him prior to the reunion?

[Calabria (KB)]

I checked. I text him a week before the reunion and just asked him how's he doing? Cuz the Internet was eating him up and I wanted to check on him cuz I didn't like the misdiagnosing that all the Internet doctors or granted, yes, the scene in the bedroom was bad. Watching it back, I guess I didn't realize it was that bad. But in the moment, I don't think you realize some in things. But also just checking on him because I don't think that bedroom scene was really about me, to be honest. I think it was more about his past and the denial he felt what I was saying. No as denial versus just a later. And I think it just triggered him from all the denials he got in the past.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

So it was just us communicating but I was just trying to check on him. So that's the last time we talked about so. But he just said I text him. He text back, said he was good. I didn't respond. My phone had just been going crazy for weeks. So I just wanted to make sure he was good. So that's the only time we talked. But last night that was the first time we got to catch up and that was a great catch up session. I would say.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah. How is he?

[Calabria (KB)]

He's managing.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

I would say like the Internet is being very mean to him. The diagnosis is I think is what's bothering him the most. He. But he looks at it so positive because he's like, well, all the negative people, they're just the people that I don't want in my life anyway. So I'd rather them see me in this light because I don't want anyone that's going to be judgmental in my life. And he was like, you never judged me. And I'm like I'm happy you feel that way, you know. And so we also talked about like if he's been to therapy. I said, I said I've been to therapy. Talked about if we're going back to therapy and we just discussed what relationship status is and what that looks like and we're both single. I asked him like has he, you know, dated since. He said he's tried to but people, women are still treating him like the nice guy. And I asked him what's his definition of the nice guy apparent.

[Host (Ad)]

Do you think he's the nice guy?

[Calabria (KB)]

I think he's a pleasant person.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

I'm not really sure what this nice guy thing. I don't, I don't really know what this that means entails is so. I mean nice can be a lot of things. Does he open the door that's nice? Like I don't. Nice guy can be a lot. I just think that he is a pleasant person and I think he's very sweet. I don't think he's mean at all. I think he has his moments and I think we both just showed where we were fed up individuals. So. Yeah. But I asked him what he ever did an African American, a girl again and he said he would but he doesn't think he can fool pull women that look like him. And I'm like I just really want you to go to therapy and Figure out where that comes from, because you look great with whatever race you want to date, but don't count out your own race because you're scared. He said he's intimidated by African American women and stated that I intimidated him a lot on the show, which was why it was hard for him to talk. I just think it's just trauma, again, that's unresolved or triggering from maybe. I don't know. It's something I can't dive too deep into because I don't know what it is. Is. And so. And he couldn't give me an answer last night either. So we were just talking in circles about that girl. Yeah. I don't know. I can't.

[Host (Ad)]

Your word is grace. Like, you just.

[Calabria (KB)]

Just grace.

[Host (Ad)]

Just giving grace.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah, I was trying. Yeah.

[Host (Ad)]

When you and I last spoke, we had a pretty impactful conversation about your journey as a black woman through this experiment. Unfortunately, they had to cut it out due to spoilers. But I do want to share with you guys at home now, so let's roll the clip. So we're not a stranger to being the only black woman on our show besides the lounges and the women that we're cast. So tell me a little bit about your experience as being as, like, having to kind of go through all this as the only black woman on your season.

[Calabria (KB)]

I think it was actually pretty challenging, in a sense. And I say that mainly. Mainly because of maybe the person I was dating. He had never dated a black woman before, and so to have been the first black woman, he tried not to.

[Host (Ad)]

Make a shocked face.

[Calabria (KB)]

Really.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

Right. Okay. That's news. Wouldn't have guessed that one. And so he had never dated a black woman before. So I have actually never been someone's first black woman they dated. And so I never knew. And I. And I know experiences are different for everybody, but that experience for me, I think, was. It had its moments, right? And it was like, more so, like. And not only had he not dated black women, it was more he. His foster parents, I don't think. I don't want to misspeak, but I think at a point in time, he wasn't raised by African American people. And so I think that kind of, like, shifted the way he viewed African Americans. And so, unfortunately, a lot of times I feel like being an African American and a black woman, sometimes you're in the world, and you might put this mask on. Right. You might code switch is what we like to call it. And I might talk this way. I might do this way. I Might move this way. When I come home, I like to unmask. I like to take the mask off, and I like to be like, hey, it's me and you, babe. I could never unmask. I could never unmask.

[Host (Ad)]

Well, that's exhausting.

[Calabria (KB)]

It was exhausting because I never had a moment to just be like, mask off. Let me just talk how I talk. Let me just be how I be. Let me just. It's me and you.

[Host (Ad)]

Did you try or were you just like, you knew you couldn't.

[Calabria (KB)]

I tried. I. 100%. But the problem with that was when I did try, I would end up having to defend African Americans to a black man. And it's just like, how do you not. Like, how are you so out of it? But I. Again, environment, environmental. And also his situation made him look at black men and black women differently, especially black women. And I would trigger him a lot, just as a black woman. Like, I might talk a little passionately when I get upset, but you're very hard to communicate with sometimes. And it would make him shut down, or he would just do this thing and just stare me at. At me. I kid you not. He was just, eek. Yeah. I would be like, okay, like, are you in the room with me right now? Yeah. And so, yeah. But I would say, like, I had a great experience outside of my. I had a great experience with my couple as well, but I had a great experience with the production. I had a great experience with my girls. It's just a lot of pressure on you to make sure you don't look like that angry black woman. And when you are wanting to snap, it's like, do I snap the way I want to snap, or do I have to tone it down to make sure America doesn't get.

[Host (Ad)]

I feel like you did a lot of toning down and. But it wasn't like, I don't. I don't think that you, like.

[Calabria (KB)]

I.

[Host (Ad)]

Don'T know, like, ran from situations. Like, you definitely adjusted situations. But I could read, like, I could read the room. And I'm just like, she is holding her tongue.

[Calabria (KB)]

And what.

[Host (Ad)]

I'm proud of you. You did your thing. You did your thing. Because it is really hard. Like, there's. The line is so thin between, like, trying to defend yourself and stand up for yourself, but also be an angry black woman woman. And when somebody's taking you out of.

[Calabria (KB)]

Your character every, like, for sure. Especially when someone. I even voiced it to him, I'm like, hey, I feel like you're making me come off as an angry black woman. Like, please stop doing it. And it would be like, on camera. He would do it. He would be like, okay, let's. I'm cool. I'm nice. I'm like, bro, you just went off on me off camera a second ago. What are you doing? And I'm like, I can't fake the phone. I'm just not a person to fake it. And so I definitely toned down a lot. And I had to. My best friends, I would have to literally go for a walk sometimes just to get on the phone and away from the camera so I could let it out and come back a new person. And it was just like, oh, it was tough.

[Host (Ad)]

You were very cautious about not showing up in a certain way. Do you feel like you portrayed yourself the way you wanted to be betrayed? And do you feel like there's something that other women, black women in particular, could take from you, from the way you portrayed yourself?

[Calabria (KB)]

I think I portrayed myself in the way that I would like to be portrayed for sure, because it just showed who I was. I am a patient person. I am a graceful person. I do think that I typically extend more grace I'm ever given. I think that's. I think that me always walking in, chin up, chest high. I mean, chin up, chest out. Yeah. I think me always walking in like that beside my man and trying to hide or cover what we might have just went through. I think that's typically what we do as black women kind of thing, like, mask everything or like, just trying to hold the house together because it's not everybody's business what goes on.

[Host (Ad)]

How do you feel like you're being perceived?

[Calabria (KB)]

Actually, I have mixed opinions on how I feel like I'm being perceived. I think there is one group of people that's actually seeing that I am. I was a genuine person. Some people are perceiving me as a pick me when it's just like, you don't think that I can look the way that they feel I look, but also be as genuine as I am. And people are saying, like, edmund's never your type. Okay, that's fine. The point of the show is going on there and dating somebody that's not your type, because your type doesn't work. And so I think people are forgetting the plot of the show. And I think also just being perceived as hood, I think is, like, offensive, because it's like, what am I doing that's giving this hood girl aesthetic? Everybody's in my comments or saying on the social media kind of thing. We all know KB's a hood girl. Girl. No, you don't. You don't even know me. You see me on TV for an hour, maybe Max, all together, so whatever. But, yeah, I just. It's so many ways I'm being perceived, but I'm taking the positive side of the negative. And I think the ones that see me and actually want to see me for who I am versus the perception just based off how I look, I guess I. I like them. I'm stay over there. The little negative Nancy, stay where they are.

[Host (Ad)]

They can talk to themselves. Okay. Okay, let's talk reunion a little bit more. So talk to me about how it was for you.

[Calabria (KB)]

Just overall, the reunion actually was hella messy. After the wedding, I actually got an assignment somewhere else, and I got the hell out of Denver. I did not engage physically with the cast at all until. Really? Yeah, because. Which I think was best for me because I really did take the experiment seriously. And due to me taking it so seriously, I feel like being around them would attract. Triggered me because it's like they got into so much drama and mixing and matching and digging here, digging there. You know, that was a lot going on over there, and that's no shade to nobody. Like, at the end of the day, I do feel like everybody made connections with multiple people. And so due to the connections with the multiple people, you want to see some of it through. So when they all hang out, you might have a connection here. It didn't work. So I'm gonna go see about this other connection there. It was just like a big, messy bubble of sex. But, yeah, I'm just happy that I wasn't a part of that. It's always interesting to hear about all the mess and the trauma drama because I'm like, whoa, what happened? So, like, a lot of times when stuff was going on, I'm looking at people's faces, I'm like, who did that? Who said that?

[Host (Ad)]

So are you out of Denver?

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah, I'm out of Denver.

[Host (Ad)]

For good.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah.

[Host (Ad)]

Where are you now?

[Calabria (KB)]

I'm in Richmond, Virginia, right now. Okay. Period.

[Host (Ad)]

How's that going?

[Calabria (KB)]

It's going fine. I don't see it as in game either. I'm a tribal social worker, so I'm just on assignment there. I've been on assignment there since May. The show ended in April. I've been on there since May of last year. So just keep extending my assignment.

[Host (Ad)]

Okay. Yeah, well, keep being a working girl. So back to the reunion. You mentioned that you were sad that the show didn't show more of the bond between you and Edmund. What were some of the moments that you wish had made it into the show?

[Calabria (KB)]

We laughed a lot in the pod. We laughed a lot. We cracked up a lot. We just, we bonded a lot. Like we. You ever remember like growing up where you might be hanging off the washing machine, just caking on the phone late night? I think it was times. Where was it hanging off the couch? It's times where we're just having a great time. We might go get shots, we're taking shots, we're just having fun. We're playing the little games. The music thing we had like, literally we was able to pick five songs each before the show. Like I talked about before and we both picked the same song. And it was just like, it was so much there. And people are stating that we trauma bonded. And I don't think we trauma bonded. It's just literally such a fast process where you're trying to give everything that you need, need your, your wife or spouse or whatever to know in those 10 days. Everything. And it's like the. What was shown was the parts of our past trauma. And it looks like a trauma bond, but no. Yes. Did we relate there for sure? Because I even asked the question about like, how did you forgive your mom? Because I need to, I need help with that. Like, let's talk about it. But that wasn't what brought us together the most. It just looks that way. But yeah, it was nice to know, like, okay, we can understand each other in that realm. But no, we had a ball. We were both very competitive. We talk a lot of trash. We prayed together every day after the date.

[Host (Ad)]

Really?

[Calabria (KB)]

Yes, to the point. Because I asked him, I was like, can we start praying together? I'm like, hey, we had like this wall. Well, I was like, can you put your hand against the wall? My right hands up. Can you put your left hand up? And like as if we're holding hands and we were praying and then like, no matter when I have multiple dates that day, if I pray earlier, I'm like, can you pray after that? He was willing to do whatever.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

And it was like, it was very faith based. Like that's not shown. Like you would think that we were just two people just walking around there with our heads cut off. Right? No, like we had in common. Like, and so I do still wonder how the hell did he really know my name though, before the first date, like that.

[Host (Ad)]

Wait, what?

[Calabria (KB)]

Before the first date, the 10 minute dates, he. He was already calling people my name. Oh yeah. Yes. It still makes me wonder, like, how did you know that? Like, what. What was being said.

[Host (Ad)]

But, yeah, I do wish. I. I keep saying that, but I do wish so much more of that. That part of your story was shown. Like, you definitely deserve for us to see that you guys got along with on. Because we saw it a little bit with the skating, and we saw it a little bit when you kind of met his mom, and there was just, like, calm energy. But I do wish we could have saw, like, more of your personality instead of you feeling like you had to stifle to, like, lift him up.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah, for sure.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah. Maybe they'll drop some BTs.

[Calabria (KB)]

Maybe not. No.

[Host (Ad)]

So you guys hugged it out at the end. Do you feel like you and Edmond have closure now?

[Calabria (KB)]

I think we have closure. I think we're good. I don't. I didn't have any beef with them, honestly, after the wedding. But seeing him for the first time before we got on the stage was very, like. We hugged because we had to line up walking into the stage, and he stood right behind me, so we hugged. You know, the high difference. I'm like, oh, hi, Slim. Like, I miss you kind of thing. Like, I miss my bestie.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah. Chocolate king.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah. Get off me, girl. They are running with that. Not too much. They are running with that. Like, people are like, why would you say that back in the day? Why would you not, like, use words of endearment with your person, with your fiance? Yeah, that's weird. Like, what was you gonna look at him and say, oh, hi? Like, I don't know. That's weird. To each his own. Yeah, my bad. That I know how to treat my man. I'm crying.

[Host (Ad)]

Was there anything that was, like, really surprising for you at the reunion?

[Calabria (KB)]

Oh, Megan having a baby. I love that for her.

[Host (Ad)]

I know.

[Calabria (KB)]

She looks so good.

[Host (Ad)]

She looks so good.

[Calabria (KB)]

Like she had any baby.

[Host (Ad)]

I know. She looks so good. I just talked to her not too long ago, and she just looks so happy. And I, like, literally, like, the sparkle in her eyes when she talks about her baby and the smile on her face and her new relationship. So we're rooting for Sparkle May.

[Calabria (KB)]

Happy for her, for sure. I love that for her and especially.

[Host (Ad)]

Like, a mom to be.

[Calabria (KB)]

I'm like, yes, I'm sure y' all gonna have a lot to talk about in the future. Yeah.

[Host (Ad)]

She gave me a little bit of advice. Yeah.

[Calabria (KB)]

She's such a good person. She's so cute.

[Host (Ad)]

She's so sweet. So you mentioned before that you learned a lot about Yourself that through this experience, what stands out the most?

[Calabria (KB)]

I think what stands out the most about, like, what I've learned about myself through this experiment is just. I'm still a work in progress, for sure. Like, I didn't look at Edmond as a project, but watching it, I'm like, okay. Like, okay.

[Host (Ad)]

Like, you're kind of able to see.

[Calabria (KB)]

Yeah. Like, do I try to? It made me look at, like, some of the relationships I've been in since then. Like, okay, did I date them? Cause I think I needed to, like, save them. Like, was I trying to save them from them, them? Was I trying to show them, prove them that there's something different? Like, there's a different type of love. Like, just more so. Like, am I. What are my goals with dating? Sometimes. And now I've just realized, like, I've. I've just altered my perspective or I just want to be this gentle, loving, soft girl that just loves you in a way you've never been loved before, and that's it. I don't want to save you from no trauma. If you come in with trauma, baby, I don't got it for you. Like, some drama. Cool. I get certain things, but not the whole thing. Rachel. No. I can't do it no more, girl. It wore me out. I had to go. Who had to go to therapy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It wore me out.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah. So what's next for kb? Any more reality shows?

[Calabria (KB)]

Not for my knowledge at the moment. Unless you got something for me.

[Host (Ad)]

No, but if I didn't, are you open to it?

[Calabria (KB)]

I'm open to it for sure.

[Host (Ad)]

You're not scarred?

[Calabria (KB)]

No, I don't think I. Nothing else that's making me get married. Leave me out of it, please. That was too much. That was so stressful. Put me on something fun. So, yeah, I'm open to something fun. I'm a little more flirty. Yeah. Challenging. Something that doesn't say, hey, you have to get married at the end. Give me something more fun.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah, I could see that. I would love to see more of the unfiltered fun side of you that doesn't have to worry about protecting someone's feelings or just, I want to see you. And so I think. I mean, if the opportunity arises, you should definitely take it, because I think that would be cool for us to see a different version of you.

[Calabria (KB)]

For sure. I will say, I don't think a lot of my personality was just shown on there, other than the fact that I'm just so patient and kind, like. But I am full. Funny girl.

[Host (Ad)]

You are funny.

[Calabria (KB)]

I'm a little funny.

[Host (Ad)]

I think you're funny.

[Calabria (KB)]

Oh. Let's be friends.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah. I'm just really excited that you stopped by for a second time. I wonder if there'll be a third.

[Calabria (KB)]

No telling. Who knows what the future holds.

[Host (Ad)]

Okay, well, you always have a space here on the couch at what's the Reality. I'm really grateful. I know you got you had a long weekend and a long night, and I appreciate you taking the time to stop by and really clear some things up and chat with me. Means a lot to me and I'm sure it's going to mean a lot to everybody watching. So thank you so much.

[Calabria (KB)]

Of course. Thank you for having me, as always. You're welcome.

[Host (Ad)]

And thank you guys for tuning into another episode of what's the Reality. Be sure to follow us on all social platforms at what's the Reality? Pod and I will see you next Wednesday.

[Calabria (KB)]

Bye.

[Host (Ad)]

What's the Reality? What's the reality?

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[Calabria (KB)]

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