Love Is Blind’s Marshall & The Ultimatum’s Sandy: Life After Reality

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary: "Love Is Blind’s Marshall & The Ultimatum’s Sandy: Life After Reality"

Podcast Information:

• Title: What's the Reality?
• Host/Author: And Love Media
• Description: Each week, host AD engages guests in discussions about Love, Relationships, Pop Culture, and Reality TV. The podcast blends the complexities of dating and relationships with insights from reality television, offering listeners a heartfelt and humorous take on modern love culture.
• Episode Title: Love Is Blind’s Marshall & The Ultimatum’s Sandy: Life After Reality
• Release Date: June 4, 2025

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of "What's the Reality?", host AD delves deep into the post-reality TV lives of two notable personalities: Marshall from "Love Is Blind" and Sandy from "The Ultimatum." The conversation navigates their journeys after the cameras stopped rolling, exploring the personal and public challenges they've faced, their growth, and the lessons they've learned.

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Marshall’s Reflections on "Love Is Blind" and Life After Reality TV

Impact of Fame and Public Scrutiny

Marshall opens up about the transformative yet tumultuous experience of transitioning from an ordinary life to sudden fame through "Love Is Blind." He shares, "I had like a whole, like, ego death when I like just kind of saw everything because it's really interesting to watch yourself on screen" (02:17). This introspection led him to confront his true self beyond his television persona.

Challenges with Public Perception and Relationships

Marshall discusses the strain that public opinion placed on his relationships, particularly with J.R., a fellow cast member. He explains, "I overstepped in ways with, like, trying to say that stuff to Zayna or even considering her in a situation where I'm also hurting her" (07:02). This dynamic resulted in him and J.R. being labeled as villains, a portrayal that Marshall accepts with grace, stating, "I don't blame people. I genuinely agree with you guys. I don't fucking blame you" (08:36).

Navigating Personal Struggles and Accountability

Marshall candidly addresses his relationship with Nick, highlighting Nick's substance abuse issues and how they impacted their partnership. "What we are seeing on the show is like, there's this cycle, and that's why in some parts of it, I look so disconnected" (15:06). He emphasizes the difficulty of maintaining boundaries and the importance of self-accountability, acknowledging, "Admitting is the first step to healing" (56:54).

Lessons Learned and Personal Growth

Reflecting on his journey, Marshall underscores the significance of setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care. "It's not selfish to put yourself first. Creating boundaries and sticking to it is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself" (53:46). His experience on reality TV has taught him invaluable lessons about vulnerability, self-awareness, and the necessity of personal growth.

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Sandy’s Journey from "The Ultimatum" to Personal Empowerment

Life After Reality TV and Moving to LA

Sandy shares her transition from the spotlight of "The Ultimatum" to building a fulfilling life in Los Angeles. "Opportunities here are fantastic. I feel like the community here is just strong and vibrant" (23:04). She emphasizes the importance of surrounding herself with a supportive community and focusing on her creative endeavors.

Mental Health Struggles and Advocacy

A poignant moment in the episode features Sandy discussing her battle with depression and suicidal thoughts. "I had always been morbidly curious, but never thought about how to do it... I decided to just had to remove myself from that current environment" (27:35). She reveals how speaking openly about her struggles has been therapeutic, aiming to help others who might be facing similar challenges. "It helps me realize that... maybe I was tripping a little bit" (32:43).

Learning to Let Go and Focus on Self

Sandy reflects on her past relationships and the control issues she grappled with. "I can only control myself and how I show up and let the pieces fall around me as they may" (54:37). Her journey involves releasing the need to control others and accepting that she cannot save everyone, a realization that has been crucial for her personal healing.

Embracing Authenticity and Moving Forward

Determined to present her true self, Sandy discusses her efforts to take social media more seriously by sharing content that genuinely makes her happy. "I just want to show more of me, period" (35:24). She aims to move beyond her reality TV identity, asserting, "You are more than Love is Blind. You are more than The Ultimatum. You are more than Love is Blind" (35:28).

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Key Insights and Discussions

Separation of Personal Identity from Reality TV Personas

Both guests emphasize the difficulty of distinguishing their true selves from their televised characters. Marshall notes, "It's a show, it's a movie, and it's hard being on the side of it that we are, where it's like your real intense life" (37:00). Sandy echoes this sentiment, striving to assert her individuality beyond the confines of the shows they starred in.

Mental Health and Vulnerability

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to mental health, with Sandy's candid recounting of her depressive episode and Marshall discussing his emotional challenges post-show. They both advocate for opening up about mental struggles as a path to healing, highlighting the importance of community support and self-compassion.

Setting Boundaries and Self-Care

Marshall’s revelation about the necessity of setting boundaries serves as a cornerstone of the episode’s message. He asserts, "People are only going to treat you how you allow them to treat you" (53:49). Sandy adds to this by emphasizing the importance of controlling what one can and letting go of what cannot be controlled, fostering a healthier self-image and relationships.

Advocacy and Using Platforms for Good

Sandy’s collaboration with Gents Talk showcases her commitment to using her platform to advocate for mental health awareness. Her story of overcoming suicidal thoughts and her ongoing efforts to support others facing similar battles underline the episode’s theme of personal empowerment and resilience.

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Conclusion

This episode of "What's the Reality?" offers a profound exploration of life after reality television. Marshall and Sandy provide honest and heartfelt narratives about their struggles, growth, and the ongoing journey to redefine themselves beyond their TV personas. Through their stories, listeners gain valuable insights into the complexities of fame, the importance of mental health, and the power of self-awareness and authenticity. The conversation serves as an inspiring testament to personal resilience and the continuous pursuit of genuine happiness.

Notable Quotes:

• Marshall on ego death: "I had like a whole, like, ego death when I like just kind of saw everything because it's really interesting to watch yourself on screen" (02:17).
• Marshall on public backlash: "I don't blame people. I genuinely agree with you guys. I don't fucking blame you" (08:36).
• Sandy on mental health: "I decided to just had to remove myself from that current environment" (27:35).
• Marshall on setting boundaries: "It's not selfish to put yourself first. Creating boundaries and sticking to it is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself" (53:46).

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Note: Times referenced in quotes correspond to points in the provided transcript.

Transcript

[Sandy]

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[Marshall]

Watch your back, Jack.

[Sandy]

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[Zaina]

What's the reality? What's the reality, y' all? Today I got my homegirl, Sandy from Ultimatum season three. We got a lot to catch up on.

[Marshall]

Oh, my gosh.

[Zaina]

And then later today, we'll be joined by fan favorite Love is blind, Mr. Marshall himself.

[Marshall]

Yes.

[Zaina]

So what's life like?

[Marshall]

Oh, my gosh. I feel like I can finally come up for air now that things have kind of, like, settled down. But obviously, as you know, like, going from nothing to then having every crevice of your life just like, blasted on TV for everyone to, you know, form opinions on is. It's wild. It's been. It's been a really cool experience, but a really hard experience. So, yeah, life has been crazy hard.

[Zaina]

In what way?

[Marshall]

You watch it back yourself and you pick up on things that you're like, oh my God, people are going to rip that apart or. And people don't even care about certain things and they rip other things apart.

[Zaina]

Like your nail polish or your lashes.

[Marshall]

Like, really, it's so.

[Zaina]

Yeah, they tore me up. They tore me up over those lashes. It was my bad. It was my bad.

[Marshall]

Okay. You know, it's so hard to get ready for.

[Zaina]

All day I cried.

[Marshall]

I never was fighting for my life.

[Zaina]

I cried every day.

[Marshall]

I have never cried so much. I don't know if you felt this way, but I had like a whole, like, ego death when I like just kind of saw everything because it's. It is really interesting to watch yourself on screen. And obviously it's, you know, it's not the full you no matter what what happens. And so that's something like I Think I have so many different layers to myself. So that's been something that I've kind of had to internally navigate and just like remind myself of who I am beyond the show, beyond what happened and, you know, what's on tv. Like, that's one point portion of it, but that's not the full.

[Zaina]

Me watching you was like, actually girls.

[Marshall]

Crazy, right?

[Zaina]

No, it was insane.

[Marshall]

What do you think? I have so much.

[Zaina]

I think a lot. I think a lot. No, I think a lot. If it wasn't jr Would you have matched with anyone else, like, paired with someone else? Or was it just him from the beginning?

[Marshall]

You mean, was I gonna match with someone else?

[Zaina]

Yeah. Was there anyone else?

[Marshall]

So I was between J.R. and Caleb.

[Zaina]

Okay.

[Marshall]

Yeah. So I was, like seeing both of them until the very end because it.

[Zaina]

Felt like J.R. from beginning.

[Marshall]

Yeah. I mean, me and J.R. had, like a really strong. We had really strong chemistry, honestly. And we had a lot in common, which people don't really get to see. Like, we both are, like, from. We have Philly roots. We both went to Penn State, which is very random for me. We both had the same major at Penn State, which was like the most random major.

[Zaina]

Yeah, we didn't hear none of that.

[Marshall]

Labor employment relationship major. So this is all within the first five minutes of our conversation. I sit down, I'm wearing my green outfit. Yeah, I love green. It's my favorite color. I love the Eagles. I'm like the biggest Eagles fan. So we were really vibing off of that. And then, you know, we both went to Penn State. We're both Scorpios. My Scorpio.

[Zaina]

Scorpios.

[Marshall]

And so we just actually had. It was kind of like this weird. It was one of those moments where I was like, where are the cameras? And I'm like, wait, they're. They're everywhere.

[Zaina]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marshall]

So we did have a lot in common.

[Zaina]

I feel like, energy wise, it made sense that you gravitated towards.

[Marshall]

Yeah, yeah, Junior. Yeah. Unfortunately, like, I do think that, you know, the things that we had in common, the actual, like, substance that we had kind of got, like overpowered by some of the stupid.

[Zaina]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marshall]

Flirtation.

[Zaina]

I just remember watching and being like. Like, you guys would always be like, yeah, like. Like, you'd be like, sandy's taught me so much. And then you're, like, taught me so much. And I'm like, what?

[Marshall]

And you're like, what did you learn?

[Zaina]

What did he teach you?

[Marshall]

I know, and that kind of sucks because I was like, damn, like, I mean, girl. But this is over two months. We're having hours and hours and hours of conversation. You know how I am. Like, I am very. Like, I would challenge him. So a huge thing, like, part of it is, you know, your trial marriage, you're working on things that you want to work on in your relationship, like with your trial partner. And Junior had a lot of blind spots and a lot of things that came up for me that I was like you. I could see where, you know, the disconnect is with Zana, like, where you're not showing up for her in the way that you should. A lot of things. And so I would really try and help him and show him his blind spots where, you know, maybe he was cutting Zayn as short in ways. And him and I would get into, like, kind of arguments about it. I would, like, really challenge him, you know, just about being more like a. Of a team player versus so individual. Like, cuz he was very focused on himself. And even in a relationship, in a partnership, I could see that living with him. Like, you know, he would only want to do his own laundry, only like, cook for himself. And I was like, hold on. Like, you live with Zayn. Like, you are, you know, you're in this relationship where if this is how you're acting, I can guarantee that she. No. That no one appreciates that, you know, so there were a lot of things that I was trying to, like, challenge him on and.

[Zaina]

Okay, I got to stop you. I got to stop you because that sounds so lovely, but when you watch it and because I know that feeling of what happened versus what it looks like.

[Marshall]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zaina]

It's so, to me, like, you being like, I'm helping him be better for you. And then the next scene, making out, and then it's just like. But, girl, you don't have to worry about it.

[Marshall]

Cause, yeah, yeah.

[Zaina]

That is so, like, one is kind of shitty to see.

[Marshall]

No, of course.

[Zaina]

And two, I'm just like, now Sandy.

[Marshall]

No, no, no. I hate that. Trust me. That was probably just kind of like the disconnect between what I was trying to explain to Zayna and like, what we're seeing. That was probably my, like, least favorite moment.

[Zaina]

Because how can you, like, hundred percent trial marriage with a man that you're like, oh, he's like, you. You're feeling him.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

But then you also want him to be better for his girl.

[Marshall]

Like, that is because I wasn't trying to, like, steal. Like, I wasn't trying to steal him. Like, it really. I'm Going to be very real. Looks a lot worse than what it was. Like, I'm. I don't know how else to say it, but I think we had a really flirty banter dynamic, whatever. And then, like, we did actually have hours and hours of conversation about our relationships. My relationship with Nick, his relationship with Zaina. And there was no. Personally for me. There was no option of him and I walking out of there together. It just wasn't. And I do think, though, that, like, to your point, I think that I overstepped in ways with, like, trying to, like, you know, say that stuff to Zayna or I guess, like, even just considering her in a situation where I'm also hurting her.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Marshall]

So it's like. That's like, a hard, weird thing, because it's like.

[Zaina]

And it was so unsolicited.

[Marshall]

Yeah, like, it's like, no, totally. And it's like. It's like the premise of the show in itself, honestly. Like, I probably should have just kind of removed myself from Dana and not try to also be there for her, like, as a friend. Because you can't really do both.

[Zaina]

Yeah. When you're married to her, man.

[Marshall]

And I think that's kind of, like, what we see is, like, I am trying to give her, like, over.

[Zaina]

Give her a weird line.

[Marshall]

Yeah, it is a weird line. I definitely think that I crossed it. And that was for sure. Genuinely. I was like. When I saw that my jaw was on the floor, I'm like, no, but.

[Zaina]

Because of that, you kind of got, like. You and Junior kind of got labeled as, like, the villains.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

And what's. What was the backlash like? Because I. I watch your social.

[Marshall]

I watch the people.

[Zaina]

I'm watching what everyone's saying, and I'm like, damn, they are eating my girl.

[Marshall]

Yeah, well, you know, I have thick skin.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Marshall]

And I also don't blame people. Like, I genuinely. Like, when people were saying stuff, I was like, I agree, you guys. I don't fucking blame you.

[Zaina]

We love a queen that, like, I responded, has some accountability.

[Marshall]

Like, you love it. Respond and be like, literally judge me harder. I don't care. Like, I don't blame you. Because, honestly, I feel like there were just so many moments that were my worst that unfortunately are just, like, all over tv, and I literally just, like, learn from it. I don't. Like, that's the only thing that I can do. And that's why I think I did have such a hard time at first, kind of, like, digesting all of it and just being like, okay, wow. I knew that it was a really weird, hard experience that we went through, and I made some mistakes along the way. I already knew that. I didn't realize, I guess, the extent of it. And so I wasn't surprised when people were saying stuff and whatever. And again, I'm like, I understand. I don't blame you. But also, there's a lot more to the story that there always is.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Marshall]

And I think that was also something that was hard for me to navigate.

[Zaina]

Is like, okay, do I take accountability.

[Marshall]

Or do I, like, of course, naturally we want to defend, but honestly, naturally, I actually was like, I don't blame you guys, because I was really upset with myself being very, very honest. So I'm not going to, like, try and defend something that I honestly am like, this isn't. Yeah, that's not how I want to represent myself, regardless of, like, what was cut out.

[Zaina]

Exactly. How it was edited.

[Marshall]

Yeah, exactly. And then on the other side, too. Yes. There, of course, everything, you know, is edited and whatnot. And there's just more to the story that we don't see and that I, you know, can speak on more of, especially with my relationship with Nick. But I think just navigating, like, the JR trial marriage in general, like, that was not. Not my. My proudest moment.

[Zaina]

So before we get to Nick, there's something that I feel like we can relate to each other.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

There was a lot of talk of how JR over sexualized you and kind of over sexualized the whole experience. And on my show, there was a lot of talk about ads being over sexualized. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Marshall]

Really, girl? I didn't realize that.

[Zaina]

Yeah, it was. It was kind of like, oh, oh, yeah.

[Marshall]

Like, oh, you're bonding.

[Zaina]

Just her body and she's leading with her body and she. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, we both got that where it's like. Because we, like, stand in our confidence.

[Marshall]

Right.

[Zaina]

Kind of took the shit for that.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

How did that make you feel?

[Marshall]

That was one of the weirdest things, honestly. And I wasn't really anticipating that because especially with. With ultimatum, like, we're having hours of conversation about life, family goals, like, childhood spirituality. It was a very, like, deep, intense experience and not very, like, sexual and funny. And so it was really weird for me to actually see myself kind of so sexualized. And I think a lot of it had to do with Junior.

[Zaina]

I agree. I saw the, like, the clips where they put that little montage of him together mortified.

[Marshall]

Yeah. So I think there's a couple things with that, though. Like, Because I'm very comfortable and confident in my sexuality. Like, I always have been. I'm a flirty person. I love to, like, flirt. And, you know, especially when we're like, okay, like, you guys are, like, dating, whatever. And I maybe leaned into that a little bit too much with the flirtiness. But definitely, you know, I think there. There was a bit of it being over sexualized by Junior and the jokes, and, I mean, you know how that is. And it wasn't just with me.

[Zaina]

Yeah, no, I know it was not just with me.

[Marshall]

I think, unfortunately for me, sometimes, like, I can kind of just go along with things a little bit more than I want to. Especially in a weird, uncomfortable environment.

[Zaina]

It's easier to laugh it off.

[Marshall]

Yeah, you're on camera. I don't want to embarrass anybody. It's like, I don't want to make it uncomfortable. But there definitely were moments where I'm like, speak up. Like, say, tell him to shut up.

[Zaina]

You guys were, like, one on one. Like, I know it was, like, flirty, but was he, like, overtly, like, sexual?

[Marshall]

No, he really wasn't.

[Zaina]

He was just, like, jokey.

[Marshall]

It was more just, like, jokey.

[Zaina]

Where are y' all now? With Nick? Have you talked to him? Are y' all in contact? Is he okay?

[Marshall]

Are you okay? I. Oh, my God. That's. No, I mean, it's just been a hard one. You know, we're on good terms. We have, like, mutual respect and care for each other, but I don't need any sort of relationship with him anymore. And I think it's just got way. It just got dragged out.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Marshall]

And I personally, I'm exhausted. I'm beyond. I was exhausted a year ago.

[Zaina]

No, I bet.

[Marshall]

So imagine how I feel now. No, I bet I am be. I'm, like, mentally, emotionally, physically exhausted with him, and, you know, I really care about him as a person and genuinely want only the best for him. But it's like, you know, I think that there's just been so many, like, just so many lines that were crossed, and it was. It's been a really hard thing to navigate with the show because it's, like, so much of it. I feel like I was kind of protecting him and trying to, like, I don't know, in return, hurting myself, like, because there's a lot that, like, I could speak up on, and people be.

[Zaina]

Like, oh, wow, okay, well, is there anything you want to speak up on and have.

[Marshall]

I mean, I think it's obviously pretty. It's out there that, you know, he struggles with substance abuse. And that's something that was really coming up while we were on the show. And it's something that's been really present in our relationship is his addiction and how he's constantly, you know, put drugs and alcohol before me and in our relationship. And I think anybody that has been with an addict knows exactly what I'm talking about. Anyone that's loved somebody that has substance abuse issues, it really, really can be an unhealthy dynamic. And that's honestly what we're seeing on the show is, like, there's, like, this cycle, and that's why in some parts of it, I look so disconnected, and then other parts, I look like I'm, like, so hurt and upset because it's just like, this cycle, and it's hard.

[Zaina]

To explain what's really going on when you don't want to expose someone's personal life. Like, where do we draw the line between y' all? Don't be mad at me. This man is, you know, living this kind of life, but you have to protect yourself and him. That's a lot.

[Marshall]

So that was basically, like, kind of the biggest thing that I told myself. Like, through it and after it, I was like, you know, this is his personal journey and battle. While it has serious, like, direct impacts on me in our relationship, it's not my internal battle. So, like, I don't want to be the one to speak on this. I want to give him the opportunity and, like, the respect to speak on it himself. And that's what I did, and that's why I kept quiet on a lot of stuff. And that's why there's a lot of things that just people are like.

[Zaina]

It's.

[Marshall]

You're saying one thing, but I'm not seeing it. It's because it's like, read between the lines. If you read between the lines, it's all right there. And I think, you know, something that I kind of struggled with during the show and after is just, like, trying to find a balance between, you know, respecting him because I love him genuinely and I care about him as a person, regardless of our relationship, but also respecting myself and speaking up for myself and, like, it's like, a very fine.

[Zaina]

Line, you know, and doing all that on tv.

[Marshall]

On tv.

[Zaina]

It's a lot.

[Marshall]

It's a lot. So that was. That was actually the hardest part, I think, just to navigate, because it is such a complex situation in itself to navigate without cameras, without other people involved. It's the most complex relationship I've ever had because of his addiction and substance abuse. So doing that with cameras and with people's opinions and, you know, things look a certain way, and maybe that's not how it actually happened. It's like, I feel like I was kind of, like, crumbling on the inside, trying to, like, hold it all together.

[Zaina]

I know. You did look so hurt, especially on the reunion. I was like, my girl is so devastated.

[Marshall]

Like, I don't cry. People are like, you keep crying. I'm like, I. If a Scorpio is crying on tv, send help, okay? Literally, send help, okay?

[Zaina]

Because something's wrong.

[Marshall]

Something is. It is a 91 1. And I was crying a. Like, I. I actually try and hold back tears as much as I can. So it's like, when I'm really crying, like, I was like, I could not hold it together because I was actually crumbling on the inside because there was just so much that I was trying to, like, navigate and hold together and kind of, like, keep inside. And I kind of knew that, you know, it looked a certain way on the outside, and I was. You know, I had a lot of resentment towards Nick because of that, because I was like, if people only actually knew what was really going on. But you, again, like, he did speak up on it eventually, and when he was ready again, I wanted to give him that. That opportunity to do that himself. It's his story, but it's just. It is a hard thing when it has a direct impact on you and your relationship. And your relationship is on tv, right? So it's like, people do want to know what's actually going on. So, yeah, I was.

[Zaina]

I think you navigated it, like, to the best of your ability, because, again, it's not our job to expose people. It's not our job to tell people's deepest, darkest secret. It's our job to say, this is my life. This is what I'm dealing with, and I'm showing the world, and this is, you know, that's all you can really do. So I give you some kudos.

[Marshall]

Thank you.

[Zaina]

I give you props. You know? I love you.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

So as it stands, the relationship with Nick is.

[Marshall]

It's over.

[Zaina]

It's done.

[Marshall]

We're done. We're done. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. He has a girlfriend. And, you know, I, again, will care about him always as a human, want the best for him. But, like, it's. The cord had to be cut. I can't. Yeah.

[Zaina]

Okay. And so where's the cord with J.R. do y' all still chat?

[Marshall]

Um, no. I. I would say there's no Cord with me and J.R. i don't know if there Cut that chord. I don't know if there even was a chord.

[Zaina]

Do you talk to anyone else from the cast?

[Marshall]

Yeah, I'm really close with Aria. She's my girl.

[Zaina]

She's so sweet.

[Marshall]

I love her. Zaina, I. I actually. I'm friends with Zaina. Yeah, me and Zaina. Me, Zayn and Aria got dinner after the reunion together. Very. Yeah. Right.

[Zaina]

So it was.

[Marshall]

It was actually a really nice, like, peaceful thing where we're like, okay, cool. We can all, like, come together and me and Zaina have had a lot of conversations, just about everything. I've apologized to her, like, countless times. And, you know, I think that we just kind of. She understands just more of, like. Like, what was going on and whatever. And, you know, she's shown me, like, a lot of grace through everything, which I appreciate. And she's a gem. Like, love her, love Aria, love Chanel. I mean, Mariah, Vanessa, all of them. Yeah, I talked to all the girls, honestly.

[Zaina]

Yeah, I love that you are a girl's girl.

[Marshall]

Girl's girl.

[Zaina]

You are. You are. I mean, you had some not girls, girl moment. I'm not gonna let that slide.

[Marshall]

I know, I know, but I'm like. But that overall. Call me, call me anything. Like, call me not a girl's girl.

[Zaina]

That's why I'm like, No, I know, I know. Are you happy, healthy in heels?

[Marshall]

Yes, I'm very happy healthy.

[Zaina]

And he's glowing. You're glowing.

[Marshall]

Yeah, no, I think especially just, like, you know, kind of going through all this stuff and, you know, it not being the best experience. I'll be very transparent. Like, it being a really hard, weird experience for me. Like, I am, like, grateful for it in a way, because it's made me really grow, like, internally as a person and actually heal things that I. Maybe I'm like. I think if it went really well, I wouldn't have had to, like, look within myself on some things and be like, okay, Sandy, like, be really real with yourself here. And, like, just have those moments of, like, vulnerability with myself, which is not the easiest thing for me to do, honestly. So I genuinely actually feel like now that I'm kind of on the other side of it, I do just feel, like, better about myself as a person, and I do feel happy, healthy, and healed, period.

[Sandy]

T Mobile Home Internet is all about speed. Speed value. What you doing, Zach? I'm rehearsing for our T Mobile Home Internet radio commercial.

[Marshall]

There are so many benefits and awards.

[Sandy]

You gotta talk Fast. Well, let me try. T Mobile Home Internet ranks number one in customer satisfaction for home Wireless Internet by JD Power. Wow.

[Marshall]

You are good.

[Sandy]

Try singing it. It loosens up the vocal cords. Watch. T Mobile has a five year price guarantee. They won't raise your rate on Internet. That's not bad. Try enunciating. Be loud. Hulu and Paramount plus on them. On them.

[Marshall]

Not bad. We make a pretty good duo.

[Sandy]

It's pronounced duet.

[Zaina]

T Mobile Home Internet all in just.

[Sandy]

55 bucks a month with autopay and any postpaid voice line. Plus get our 5 year price guaranteed exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Guarantees regular monthly rate plan price of fixed wireless 5G Internet data with qualifying service after $15 bill credit with a postpaid voice line plus $5 a month without autopay with debt or rakica. Regulatory fees include for qualifying accounts, $35 connection charge applies. Speeds vary due to factors affecting cellular networks. Additional terms apply for J.D. power 2024 award information. Visit jdpower.com awards in the summer. All of Oregon is our playground thanks to our incredible park system. That's why it's so cool that Oregon Lottery gameplay like video lottery or cash pop, helps support tons of parks projects statewide like accessible trails at Silver Falls State park or upgrades to your favorite dog park in Newburgh. It's just one way a little lottery play for many Oregonians can add up to a lot of good the Oregon Lottery. Together we do good things. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only. Must be 18 or older to play.

[Zaina]

We have Marshall joining us. Say hi to the people.

[Sandy]

Hello, people.

[Zaina]

So last time I saw you, the reunion. Yes. We were kind of giving updates. You moved to LA. Maybe we start there. How's LA treating you?

[Sandy]

LA has been great.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

Opportunities here are fantastic.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

I feel like the community here is just strong and vibrant. There's creatives every corner and you can find anything anywhere here. And there's just so much to do, so much to see.

[Zaina]

You're thriving, like creatively on social media.

[Sandy]

Yes.

[Zaina]

I love it.

[Sandy]

Thank you.

[Zaina]

I love that.

[Sandy]

Thank you.

[Zaina]

I feel like you found your little pocket.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

And you're thriving in it.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

And the people are like gravitating.

[Sandy]

Yes. I'm enjoying it.

[Zaina]

Yeah. So what made you pick that avenue?

[Sandy]

Well, it just. It just got to a point where I wasn't enjoying the social media. I wasn't enjoying the public spotlight.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

And I said to myself, well, what can you do to change that instead of just complaining? And here we are.

[Zaina]

Here we are.

[Marshall]

What are you doing now?

[Sandy]

I've just taken my social media a little bit more seriously and what I want to post.

[Marshall]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sandy]

And thinking about things that will make me happy.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

And not caring about what anybody has to say about what I'm posting or anything like that.

[Marshall]

Right.

[Zaina]

Okay.

[Sandy]

Cool.

[Zaina]

Being me creatively, obviously, we are Love is Blind family. And I know we're like, kind of removed from both of our seasons at this point. Do you have anything that you bring with you, like, daily that is just like a huge takeaway that you're maybe bringing into your day to day or like you're dating from Love is Blonde. Yeah. Our show.

[Sandy]

Yeah. Well, yeah, for sure with dating, which I am not. I just want to clear. I'm not dating. I'm very much single and focused on myself. If there does come a time where I do start to enter the dating world again. Love is Blind taught me a lot about what I don't want that part. It taught me a lot about myself and how I used to interact with women. I had a savior complex and I hung up. The cape can't save everybody.

[Marshall]

Yeah. We were just talking about that.

[Zaina]

We were just talking about that. Everybody don't want to be saved either.

[Sandy]

Yeah. And not to say that the woman who I was with on the show needed saving. That's just what I.

[Marshall]

It almost has nothing to do with them and to do with yourself and how you want to show up for someone.

[Sandy]

Exactly.

[Marshall]

And that's what we do as women. It's like it has nothing to do with them even.

[Sandy]

Yeah. And I would take it even a step further. My therapist taught me that it was also a bit of a control thing too. Okay. And I am releasing a lot of control on things that have to do with. That have nothing to do with me.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

I can only control myself and how I show up. And I cannot control the people around me and how they perceive me.

[Zaina]

So I am relinquishing that with that newfound realization. Do you think that played any part into, like, your engagement ending with your most recent engagement?

[Sandy]

Well, that. That was an interesting one.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

I feel like controlling what I could in. In that regard was. It was a difficult one. I wanted something more professionally because in Seattle, I mean.

[Zaina]

Right.

[Sandy]

Seattle, you're at a market. There are no opportunities for you in a city like Seattle. You're just too far removed from everything. Like, you're in California, you understand, you're in Charlotte, but you travel a lot. So you understand that there are markets for what we do for sure. And I just wanted to take that to the next level. And at the time, I was dealing with a lot of mental strain, and I just wanted something to pull me out of that. And I thought, hey, let me just change my environment, go for what I really want to do. And unfortunately, I just couldn't have both. I couldn't have my cake and eat it, too. She just wants someone who is there with her 100%. She's not wrong.

[Zaina]

That's so respectful. Yeah.

[Sandy]

Not wrong, but it hurt.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

And I'm sure that I hurt her, too, 100%. I know. I'm not sure. I know that I hurt her, but at the end of the day, we are humans, and we have to do the best we can. There's no rule book. There's no playbook. We just have to do the best we can.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

Are you guys still friends, at least?

[Sandy]

I don't know.

[Zaina]

All right, well, I hope. I would hope.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

So you did the Gents Talk, and it was not the easiest watch, but definitely very emotional. Inspiring. Do you want to talk more about that?

[Sandy]

Yeah. Shout out to Gents Talk. Sameer, you're my guy. He reached out to me, actually, just based off of the content that I've been putting out. He had no idea who I was outside of that. He saw a reel of mine and reached out and thought I would be a great fit and wanted to know more about my story. And that was the moment that I figured that it was probably best to talk about what I've been going through, because that's what Jen's talk is about. It's about men opening up and being vulnerable and sharing emotional truths. And my emotional truth was last year was just very tough for me, for me, mentally, and I was going to take my own life. And. And it just got to a point where, like, I had always been, like, morbidly curious, but never thought about how to do it. And then one day, I'm just down in the dumps, just. Just. Just crazy depressed. Nothing is going right for me in my life, or I feel like nothing's going right. That's. That's what my internal monologue is telling me. And those voices, that darkness just got a little bit louder, got a little bit darker. And I felt like I was in this box and I could turn right, left, up, down, wherever. And it just felt like the walls were just getting closer and closer and closer and nothing. No favorite meal, no favorite movie, no favorite song could lift me out of that. And I knew I had A problem. When I. When I was okay with this particular time that I talked to my mom, I was okay with that being the last time I talked to her. And I was like, okay, all right. You know, yeah, this is bad. I talk to my mom every day, multiple times throughout the day. And I was okay with that being the last time. And so I was gonna do what I felt like I had to do, but I couldn't. And at that moment, I decided to just had to remove myself from that current environment. And I'll never forget this. I will never forget this. Seattle is a very rainy city and this is at peak rain season. And I lived on a very busy street in downtown Seattle. And you could at any time of the day, there's buses, cars, bikes, people walking. Nobody was out there. No cars, no buses, no bikes, no people, nothing. And I'm walking in the rain. I had on like a cut off T shirt and basketball shorts and pair of slides and I'm just walking, walking. And then I walked around the Space Needle. I came around back to my apartment and I'm like, I want to live. Yeah.

[Marshall]

Wow.

[Zaina]

I'm happy you took that walk.

[Sandy]

Thank you.

[Zaina]

Thank you.

[Sandy]

Me too. I'm glad I'm here.

[Zaina]

I'm glad you're here. We're all glad you're here.

[Marshall]

Thank you for sharing that.

[Sandy]

Yeah, of course.

[Marshall]

That's not easy to even kind of admit to yourself and out loud, especially on, you know, but it, it's. You're not alone. A lot of people go through that and it doesn't. It doesn't make you like. I think it's like kind of a human experience sometimes that we deal with. But that's. Wow, I did not know that. Thank you for sharing that.

[Sandy]

Of course. Of course. Of course. It helps me heal and just I hope that someone out there can resonate with that. Someone will and choose life.

[Zaina]

Someone will for sure. I think your platform and just being who you are and being in the light and the way that you do shine, I think you are a role model.

[Sandy]

I appreciate that.

[Zaina]

Yeah, yeah. You mentioned talking to others helped you heal. What about being open with your struggles is helping you with your healing?

[Sandy]

I feel like just speaking out loud about something, it definitely has like a two part. Right. It makes it sound kind of not. Not like weird that is coming out of your mouth, but it almost sounds silly. Like if I say what I was dealing with out loud, I'm like, bro, what?

[Zaina]

Yeah, yeah, you good.

[Sandy]

But it's just that internal monologue that drives you deeper down the hole. And that's what I feel like helps me when I talk about it is just opening up about all things suicide, depression and just overall unwellness. That helps me realize that. All right, maybe I was tripping a little bit.

[Zaina]

And those are not easy topics at all. A lot of people don't talk about that stuff. And we all deal and battle with our own internal demons and battles on a day to day. So I never want you to feel alone for any second. We are all dealing with something and I think especially being in the space of entertainment and this industry and then being a black man and like expressing something like that is so powerful. So I never want you to for one second think that you're going crazy or you shouldn't be saying these things like you absolutely should. And it's, you know, you never know who's watching. Yeah, you never know who's watching.

[Marshall]

Everybody goes through those things, but not everybody talks about it. And it's really, you know, admirable that you can speak on it. And it's, it's inspiring for a lot of people, you know, and when you can actually talk about things, you can kind of like disappear in a way because you're. It's. When it's out here, it's actually less scary than when it's.

[Zaina]

Yeah, yeah.

[Marshall]

It's like that's kind of the, that's the hard part.

[Zaina]

It's like the get it out of.

[Marshall]

It is when you can actually admit to things and like talk about it. Okay. And then you deal with it when it's all in here and you're not even like, you know, you're not even admitting things to yourself. That's when it can get really scary.

[Sandy]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. That's when you feel the most isolated. And so that's another thing that helps me too is just to know that I'm not alone. Because when I do speak about it, there are comments, just flooding comments of people saying I'm dealing with something too. This helps me. And that's why I continue with the social media content that I put out. I do fear that I am going down a dangerous route of becoming the face of that when I don't feel like I have that, like identify that that's not my responsibility, you know, like, that's a weight that I don't feel like I should carry because I'm not a therapist.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

I'm not someone who went to school and understands like, oh, analyses and all this stuff.

[Marshall]

You're just talking about your experience.

[Sandy]

I'm just talking about my experience and hoping that somebody can relate with that and open up about their struggles too. And so I was having a conversation with someone who. Who's very near and dear to my heart, who's helping me, you know, guide through the social media stuff. And they were just telling me just like, be careful about positioning yourself like that, because then that makes you a subject matter expert. The more you continue to post and the more virality you assume, how do.

[Zaina]

You feel about that?

[Sandy]

It's a tough pill to swallow, and I'm trying to figure out how to.

[Zaina]

Kind of pivot a little transition out.

[Sandy]

Of that, but still continue to do.

[Zaina]

The same thing, just at a smaller still advocate.

[Sandy]

Yeah. Because it was every week I was putting out something.

[Zaina]

Yeah. What's next then?

[Marshall]

What are you thinking?

[Sandy]

I just want to show more of me, period.

[Zaina]

Yeah. Okay.

[Sandy]

Show more of my personality, because I want to. As much as I love our franchise and I love the fans, I'm more than love is blind. You are more than the ultimatum. You are more than love is blind. When I walk the streets and people say, hey, you're that guy from that show. That kind of fucks me a little bit. I'm Marshall.

[Zaina]

First and foremost.

[Sandy]

I have a name. It's okay if you don't know that, but that's also on me, that I didn't separate myself in that regard. And that's a challenge that a lot of reality TV people face. You assume the franchise that you were birthed into.

[Zaina]

Absolutely.

[Sandy]

And you can go outside of that. You can do certain spinoffs, you can join another show, and then you assume that show, that title, and you're no.

[Zaina]

Longer human after a while.

[Sandy]

A little bit.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Marshall]

You're like a character.

[Zaina]

Yeah, you are a little bit.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Marshall]

I feel that it's weird because the character is technically you. It's reality. So you're not an actor.

[Sandy]

I loved your character.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

You're like. Someone said that to me. Someone wrote on my Instagram, said, you're my favorite actor from Love is Blind. I said, that wasn't acting. Those are real tears, baby. That was real pain, real trauma. She said, you're my favorite actor. I said, wow.

[Sandy]

Isn'T that upsetting a little bit?

[Zaina]

Like my real life has been turned into. It's just.

[Marshall]

I mean, that's what people see when they see anyone on a TV screen. They're like, it's a character. It's a character.

[Zaina]

A.

[Marshall]

It's a show, it's a movie, and it's hard being on the side of it that we are, where it's like your real intense life, your love life especially, it's like, oh, my gosh, it's. It's weird. And we were just talking about that before you got here, kind of about the weird. Almost like an ego death that I went through, like, seeing myself as a character on tv, and I'm like, whoa. But, like, I'm so much more than that. Like, I just am. Regardless of if it was good or bad. You're more than that. So I was gonna ask you, like, based on, you know what, like, love is blind and your experience and everything, like, do you feel like it was a good representation of you or even. Are you still. Like, I'm so much more than that.

[Sandy]

Yeah. Well, thankfully, I was portrayed in a light that I feel like is accurate to who I am as a person. Obviously, things were dramaticize a little bit.

[Marshall]

Yes.

[Sandy]

And there were certain parts of my season that I. I feel, like, made me look like I'm a pushover. Like I'm weak. Like. Like, I just. I'm just this sensitive guy who cries about everything. No, that's not it. You don't know me. You don't know where I come from. You don't know the family that I'm from. Like, you don't know any of that. And so now it's on me to show you that, and I just haven't.

[Zaina]

Yeah, good. It is. It's weird to, like, dig yourself out of the trenches of people's opinion, and especially when the masses make this one opinion, like, of me. I'm still battling allegations that I'm chasing red flags. Like, I will forever be ad. So stupid. She's so silly. She'll never get it. She'll never see it. I'm just like, oh, my God. You saw one relationship that I put my all into, and it's my fault. It's my fault. And it's just like, I battle that daily. Daily. Because then I started dating, and I'm like, oh, my God, is that a red flag? Is that a red flag? Now I'm internalizing what people are putting on me, and I'm just like, oh, my God, I do chase red flags. Oh, my God. I am. It's just like, I didn't think that before it was brought to my attention that maybe I do do that, but that's not who I am, and that's not who I'll continue to be. So it's like, yeah, well, you do.

[Sandy]

Have an army behind you, too. Listen, you got an army behind you. You know it.

[Marshall]

Damn right.

[Sandy]

Let's be honest.

[Zaina]

People have my bag. People have my bag.

[Sandy]

But. But no, I'm not trying to discredit you.

[Zaina]

No, that's okay. People have my back. Which I appreciate.

[Marshall]

As they should.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

Yeah. It's game time.

[Marshall]

Oh, shit.

[Zaina]

Yeah. Let's all shake it off a little bit. Okay. I think let's do good old fashioned. Two truths and a lie.

[Marshall]

Wait, I need to think. Hold on.

[Zaina]

Should I go first? Yes. Okay. I love pepperoni pizza. My favorite body part on a man is hands. And Ariana Grande follows me on Instagram.

[Marshall]

I know Ari follows you.

[Sandy]

You don't like hands. That's a lie.

[Marshall]

I feel like you like some nice big hands. Do you like pepperoni pizza? I'm gonna say you. Oh, no. You don't like pepperoni pizza. You don't eat meat.

[Zaina]

Really? I don't eat meat? Yeah, she knows me.

[Sandy]

Oh, okay.

[Zaina]

Okay. I love some big manly hands. I don't eat meat.

[Marshall]

Yes.

[Zaina]

Ariana Grande.

[Marshall]

No. Pepperoni burrito. Yes.

[Sandy]

You sold it though.

[Zaina]

I did.

[Sandy]

You sold it.

[Zaina]

Okay, who's ready?

[Sandy]

That was actually a good one.

[Zaina]

Thank you. That was kind of off the dome.

[Sandy]

All right, all right, I got it, I got it.

[Zaina]

Okay, go. Okay, wait. I need to look at you when you say it so I know when the lie comes.

[Sandy]

Okay, I'll start with food. My favorite food. Chicken wings. I am a member of Kappa Alpha Psi and I used to date a now Grammy Award winning recording artist.

[Zaina]

Wow, that's hard. So two of those are true.

[Sandy]

I played this game wrong. Let's switch the rules.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

What? Two lies and the truth.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

What?

[Marshall]

I know. I'm like. It's easier to do two lies than a truth. Okay, so the truth was the Grammy winning act.

[Zaina]

Wait, so. Okay, now I'm confused.

[Marshall]

Well, now we need to know the truth, Marshall.

[Zaina]

Yeah, what's the truth?

[Sandy]

Hey, I can eat chicken wings all day, every day, okay? And I am not a member of Kappa Alpha Psi. I'm a member of Alpha F. Alpha Fraternity Incorporated.

[Marshall]

Okay?

[Sandy]

And I'm speaking that into existence. Dating a Grammy Award winning.

[Marshall]

Got it. Damn. That was so specific though, whoever that was. A really specific yes.

[Sandy]

Okay, Paulie Bailey has. She wants something.

[Zaina]

You know, she's dating Brandon. Boy, do you care? Oh.

[Sandy]

Oop. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, I'm just kidding.

[Zaina]

Okay, wait. What's your favorite flavor of wings?

[Sandy]

Buffalo.

[Zaina]

Buffalo.

[Sandy]

Gotta keep it to the og.

[Zaina]

Interesting.

[Sandy]

Yeah, keep it to my east coast heritage.

[Zaina]

Okay.

[Marshall]

Buffalo.

[Zaina]

Okay, you ready?

[Marshall]

Okay. I think so.

[Zaina]

Do you know the rules?

[Marshall]

Two truths.

[Sandy]

Two truths and a lie. One lie. Okay.

[Marshall]

Okay.

[Sandy]

I feel like I should do it again. No, I'm not.

[Marshall]

Okay. I have one tattoo. I do not dye my hair. And I am a mean chef.

[Zaina]

I know my girl can cook, so that's the truth.

[Sandy]

I feel like you have multiple tattoos.

[Zaina]

I don't think my queen has any tattoos. I don't think you have any tattoos.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

Okay.

[Marshall]

No. No tattoos, period.

[Sandy]

All right.

[Zaina]

So you've never dyed your hair, so.

[Marshall]

Yeah, no, I've, like, toned my hair before, but I never. I never dye my hair.

[Zaina]

Wow.

[Marshall]

I don't, like, touch my hair. It's very.

[Sandy]

What this tone means. Teach me something.

[Marshall]

I put a little, like, gloss in it to, like, you know, whatever. I don't dye my hair.

[Sandy]

Okay.

[Marshall]

I never get highlights. I never. I don't really touch it.

[Sandy]

Okay.

[Marshall]

But maybe I should start. I don't know.

[Zaina]

No, I like it.

[Marshall]

Yeah, I like it. Thank you.

[Zaina]

Okay, next game. Cringiest Dating Story. I don't have one because I don't date anymore.

[Marshall]

Because you don't have any cringy dating.

[Zaina]

Stories ad from the past? No. I might. Okay, let me. Okay. I went on this one date, this is post show, with this guy. And like, he kept asking me about Love is Blind. But he was like, yeah, I never saw your show. And I was like, okay. Unsolicited, never asked. And then he would be like, so you got engaged on the show? I'm like, yeah. Wanna keep talking about it? We talked about Love is Blind the whole date. I couldn't tell you. After we left, I didn't know his last name.

[Marshall]

Stop.

[Zaina]

I didn't know where he's from. Cause all we did was talk about. About the show. And he was just like, that's so weird that you did that. And I was like, okay, okay.

[Marshall]

Judging judgy.

[Zaina]

But he was so interested. It's like, you obviously saw the show. You know? Exactly.

[Sandy]

Where'd you meet him?

[Zaina]

Who? I am Hinge. Unhinged.

[Marshall]

You know, every couple from my season of the Ultimatum met on Hinge. It was like the dating op. Every couple from my season of the Ultimatum, we all met on Hinge.

[Sandy]

Oh, damn. Okay.

[Zaina]

Interesting.

[Marshall]

It was so weird. Anyway, cringy dating stories. Mine's all over tv. My cringiest dating moments are broadcasted for everybody to see. So I don't know what else more I can. I don't know what could top that.

[Zaina]

You know what was kind of cringe?

[Marshall]

What? Everything.

[Zaina]

The pool, like, you and J.R. at the pool.

[Marshall]

I can't watch that scene.

[Zaina]

That was so cringey.

[Marshall]

I can't watch it. Cringy. Yeah. I'm trying to think of other cringy dates. I went on a date a while ago. This was, like. Like, years ago when I was in college. But, like, I'll never forget this guy, like, literally didn't ask me one question on the entire date. You guys like the one. I'd be like, so how old are you? He's like. Like, when I asked me, I'm, like, so weird. I'm so, like, in tune with that stuff. I'm all about, like, conversation.

[Zaina]

He just, like the sound of his own voice.

[Marshall]

So weird. Anyways, but I'm trying to think of other stuff.

[Zaina]

Marshall. I know. She's, like, going through good Rolodex of Cr.

[Marshall]

No, I mean, y' all.

[Zaina]

I don't want to trigger you. Girl, you seem sad.

[Marshall]

I'm all right.

[Sandy]

You're unloading the clip over here One.

[Marshall]

Time and then other time.

[Sandy]

Band camp is crazy. No, hold on. You can't judge somebody off their cringe. Maybe it was just they're awkward or they're embarrassed.

[Marshall]

Come on.

[Zaina]

At this big age?

[Sandy]

You know what? I'm gonna switch it up. I'm gonna tell you something that I did.

[Marshall]

That you're the cringe. Okay, let's hear it.

[Sandy]

All right.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

Because I feel like y' all are attacking fellas right now.

[Marshall]

No, we're not.

[Sandy]

And I need to back. I need to back us up. So I'm gonna do something for y' all. I'm gonna throw myself under the bus.

[Marshall]

Let's talk about eggs.

[Sandy]

I'm gonna throw myself under the bus.

[Marshall]

Okay, let's hear it.

[Sandy]

Save the fellas. Okay.

[Zaina]

Oh, now I'm scared.

[Sandy]

This was years ago, like, a few years after I graduated college. This is, like. Actually, no, it was, like, a year after I graduated. So, like, 2017. 2018. And I was really interested in this young lady we met on Instagram, of all places, and finally got through to the DMs. Finally got out the DMs. To the iMessage. Finally got from the imessage to in person. When I tell you I was nervous, buddy, goodness gracious. And I stutter. So when my brain is moving faster than my mouth, I can stutter.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

And sometimes it happens when I'm excited. Right. So the first thing that I say. Well, what I want to say is, hello. You are so gorgeous.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Marshall]

What did you say?

[Zaina]

How can that go wrong?

[Sandy]

It Was a mix between, like, Courage the Cowardly Dog and Porky the Pig.

[Marshall]

Porky.

[Sandy]

I just couldn't get it out. No.

[Marshall]

So what?

[Sandy]

So I had to reset. Now I own it. I own it. And I just reset. I'm like, okay, Hello. You are gorgeous.

[Marshall]

Okay. I mean, this is that moment.

[Sandy]

But it was just. It was like a.

[Zaina]

Did she laugh at all?

[Sandy]

It was a moment where she was.

[Marshall]

Just like, how'd you know?

[Sandy]

When somebody stuttering.

[Zaina]

You're saying, oh, get it out, get it out. That's what she was doing.

[Marshall]

She's like, yeah.

[Sandy]

And I was just like, like, all.

[Marshall]

Right, let me start over.

[Zaina]

How did the rest of the night go?

[Sandy]

Great.

[Zaina]

Okay.

[Sandy]

It went great.

[Zaina]

Did you get a date, too?

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

Okay. It's a little stutter. Yeah. And she probably thought it was cute.

[Sandy]

Yeah. But to her, it was probably. If she was invited out, she would sit down on this couch and say.

[Marshall]

That'S not a whole ick. That's like a one month.

[Sandy]

Okay. We're talking about cringe, not ick.

[Marshall]

That's two different things.

[Zaina]

Yeah. That would be like, oop.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

Okay, so what about an ick? You got an ick.

[Zaina]

I got a bunch of ick.

[Marshall]

We got lots of icks.

[Sandy]

I know you do, based off of how many cringy moments you had, so. I'm joking.

[Zaina]

I feel like. I feel like anything in this day and age can be an ick. I really do. I feel like y' all got a list.

[Marshall]

Icks are, like, not even necessarily negative. They're just icks. It's just like when guys get cold.

[Zaina]

Why are you cold?

[Marshall]

It's kind of an ick. It's like, why are you. Why are you shivering? Why are you chattering?

[Zaina]

You want to share the blanket? I'm a girl. Icky. No, just kidding. Or like. Or like, you guys order drinks, and then his comes with a straw.

[Marshall]

Oh, See, I actually. I'm like, whatever.

[Zaina]

The straw will.

[Sandy]

Can't drink through a straw.

[Marshall]

If you can't find a parking spot.

[Sandy]

Or in a busy mall or guys.

[Zaina]

Parking if they can't, like, parallel park.

[Marshall]

Oh, yeah.

[Zaina]

And they pull out three times. You got two times to, like, line that car up.

[Marshall]

That's like, on the third time, I'm.

[Sandy]

Like, okay, Y' all are saying, yeah. Yeah. Do y' all know how to parallel park?

[Marshall]

I do. I'm a Boston.

[Zaina]

Yeah, I do.

[Sandy]

Okay.

[Zaina]

If you pull out three times and let me out, I'll go get the table.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

And then people are waiting, and they're like, go Around. Go around.

[Sandy]

Okay. Justified. Justified.

[Zaina]

Thank you.

[Sandy]

I'm a driver, so that would be justified.

[Zaina]

Yeah, I would.

[Marshall]

I would sink in a chair.

[Zaina]

I'd be like, you want me to do it?

[Sandy]

Okay, so if I'm cold and I get, like, chicken skin, you're like, never again.

[Marshall]

No, you can get, like, chicken skin. But, like, if you start kind of, like, shaking and, like, chattering your teeth when I'm over here trying to, like, keep it together, I'm like, oh, hell no, dude.

[Sandy]

You know what's an ick?

[Marshall]

I'm like, give me your jacket.

[Sandy]

You know what's an ick? If we're going out somewhere, you ask what the weather is. I tell you it's cold, and you choose not to bring a jacket. And I'm nice and cozy in my jacket, and you want mine. Ick.

[Zaina]

One thing about it is, like, women, we don't want our men to be happy or warm. So if you're smiling too much, why are you, like. If I'm not around, I don't want any joy. If I call, you catch him having fun, and you're having fun.

[Marshall]

Wait, A.D. goofy.

[Sandy]

What if I'm on a video games with my boys, and I'm like, there's.

[Marshall]

A difference between being funny and goofy and goofy.

[Zaina]

Goofy is a strength. That's a strike that's beyond an ick and a cringe. Goofy is crazy. Goofy is a strike.

[Marshall]

Yeah, there's a difference between being funny and, like, goofy.

[Zaina]

Or it's like you. You introduce him to your friends, and he's like, yeah, he's a little goofy.

[Marshall]

Goofy's not unrealistic.

[Sandy]

This is so unrealistic.

[Zaina]

Funny, you can be, like, funny and, like, jolly, like, funny guy, but if your boyfriend is. If anybody described my man as goofy, I don't know if I can continue the relationship.

[Marshall]

Yeah, goofy. Yeah.

[Sandy]

I don't think I like this conversation anymore.

[Marshall]

Okay, Marshall, what are some icks?

[Zaina]

Yeah, what are your icks?

[Sandy]

You want it for real?

[Marshall]

Let's hear it.

[Zaina]

List of icks.

[Sandy]

Chunky sneakers. New Balances.

[Marshall]

Okay.

[Sandy]

Gold bangles. I'm playing. I'm playing.

[Marshall]

I'm playing this. You're calling this an ick? No, you're not.

[Sandy]

Magenta goblets.

[Zaina]

It's getting icky over here.

[Sandy]

I'm a very. I'm a very easygoing guy. I don't have a lot of icks. I think if you chew too loud and I'm talking, like, realistic.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

Not if you get cold, it's an ick.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

If you Chew too loud.

[Zaina]

Showing signs of cold. You can be cold. Just don't.

[Marshall]

There you go. There you go. Showing signs of cold.

[Zaina]

Butt crack cracks.

[Marshall]

That cracks. Yeah. If a guy chokes on his water, I don't know what to do. I'm like, you know what I'm talking about? Goes down the wrong pipe.

[Sandy]

So bodily function is a nick.

[Zaina]

Why are you choking? Breathe.

[Sandy]

You sneezing?

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

Date over. Take me home.

[Zaina]

Or, like, if a guy doesn't do a full sneeze, if he goes like, let it out. Let it out.

[Marshall]

Say it loud.

[Zaina]

No. Ick. Okay. I'm glad we got that out the way for future references. If you sneeze around Sandira, it's gonna be an issue. Just take notes. Okay?

[Marshall]

Yes.

[Zaina]

So post shows we're now in our real reality, our real lives. Anybody can answer this. Like, what do you feel that you know now that you didn't know then?

[Marshall]

I think I just. I've learned a lot about myself. A lot of things that I didn't really know or maybe, like, fully understand, but I think one of them is just kind of realizing that, you know, I need to set some more boundaries for myself and be a little bit more stern with that. And it's not selfish to put yourself first. Yeah, I think that's something that, you know, I always try to, like, show up for other people and whatnot, and I put myself kind of on the back burner, but that's actually not healthy. So I think just, like, kind of having that mirror of going through reality tv, you know, it's not selfish to put yourself first. And creating boundaries and sticking to it is, like, actually, like, one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself. And if you don't, things can get really.

[Zaina]

People are only going to treat you how you allow them to treat you.

[Marshall]

Exactly, exactly. That's a big one.

[Zaina]

That's strong. And I feel that because boundaries was not my bag, my therapist was like, girl, do you know how to say no?

[Marshall]

I can be a people pleaser.

[Zaina]

No, I don't.

[Marshall]

It's like, it's actually hard to. To set your boundaries and really stick to it, you know? But it's like, when things are mirrored in that way, it's like you owe that to yourself. So that was a really big takeaway that I had from it.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Marshall]

Love that.

[Sandy]

Yeah. Like you. You see from watching yourself and you see from the comments, too. Just like you said earlier, like, people are telling you, stand up, A.D. maybe you just didn't see that back then. So.

[Marshall]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sandy]

100% agree with that. I mean, for me, it's. I kind of alluded to it earlier, just, you can't save everybody.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

And to. To break that down even further, I would say that is also something that I alluded to earlier is just the control I learned, that I can only control myself and how I show up and let the pieces fall around me as they may, whether that's friends, romantic relationships, opportunities, money, whatever.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

Just continue to be me. Authentically and genuinely control what you can control. Control what I can control. And whatever is out of that ain't got nothing to do with me.

[Zaina]

Love that.

[Sandy]

And if it happens for me, it was meant for me. And forcing something based out of necessity to control something is no bueno. It's not gonna work out. At the end of the day, it's not so dope.

[Zaina]

Y' all these shows changed us.

[Sandy]

Yep.

[Marshall]

Yep.

[Zaina]

It's actually insane. Like, do you feel like you would be this, like, person without the show?

[Marshall]

No.

[Zaina]

Or this quickly, like, become this person?

[Marshall]

No, I just be, like, minding my own. Yeah, it does. It totally forces you to deal with things and get real with things. Being really vulnerable with yourself in ways that you wouldn't have to. But it's. It's all for the better.

[Zaina]

Yeah.

[Marshall]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

Truly, honestly, still doing the same things I was before the show.

[Zaina]

Okay.

[Sandy]

Yeah. Like, still controlling or trying to control things. Control the people around me, or not even control them, but just, like, control their perception or their emotions that are tied to me. Still trying to save women who I felt need. Save me.

[Zaina]

I don't want to be saved. Don't save them.

[Sandy]

Yeah. We gotta take a book from Jermaine. Jermaine Cole. Yeah.

[Zaina]

Yeah. No, that's a powerful thing, because control. I've been in relationships and where men use that tactic, the control thing, and it's hard to explain, like, you're trying to, like you said, control perspective and how I see you and how that's a weird thing to get out of. So, like, the fact that you can even admit it and say, like, I did this.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

And I don't want to do this, and I don't want to be that person. I think that's so dope.

[Sandy]

Admitting is the first step.

[Zaina]

First step to healing.

[Sandy]

Yes.

[Marshall]

Yep.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Zaina]

You guys, this has been a pleasure.

[Marshall]

I love you. You're the best.

[Sandy]

This is amazing.

[Zaina]

Thanks for having me, you guys. That was so, so much fun. Feel free to follow on all platforms at what's the Reality Pod? And subscribe on YouTube. I'll see you guys next.