Married At First Sight’s First Mother-Daughter Duo: Belynda & Jalyn Reflect on Their Journey

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Married At First Sight’s First Mother-Daughter Duo: Belynda & Jalyn Reflect on Their Journey"

What’s The Reality? | Host: Amber Desiree (AD) | Guests: Belynda and Jalen
Date: December 3, 2025 | Season 19 Finale & Reunion Recap

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Overview

This episode dives deep with Married at First Sight’s historic first mother-daughter duo, Belynda and Jalen. Hot off the season 19 finale and reunion, they join host Amber Desiree (A.D.) for an unfiltered conversation about their unprecedented journey: falling in love, supporting each other through the chaos, navigating marriage on reality TV, and rebuilding their lives after the cameras stopped rolling. The episode explores their unique bond, what filming as family was like, behind-the-scenes drama, coping with breakups, and what they’re looking forward to next—with plenty of warmth, humor, and self-reflection.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life After Filming (02:27 - 04:00)

• Post-show Lifestyles:
  • Belynda returned to work, traveled (Las Vegas, Bali), and started hosting women’s wellness retreats:

    “Ever since I became like an empty nester, I really just wanted to get women together, other women who are kind of going through the same thing and just trying to find purpose all over again.” – Belynda (02:56)

• Jalen's Update:
  • Had a whirlwind year with her match, Josh, until their breakup three months prior to the reunion:

    “Everything still feels very recent, obviously, just because I spent my life with this person up until recent.” – Jalen (03:32)

2. Mother-Daughter Dynamic On & Off Camera (04:01 - 09:14)

• Mutual Support and Advice:
  • Both valued having each other as sounding boards, stating they often gave the same advice in different words.

    “I think we found too that we kept giving each other the same advice, just different verbiage...” – Belynda (04:43)

• Setting Boundaries:
  • Their relationship remains close but maintains respectful parent-child boundaries, especially around personal topics:

    “We're best friends with a fine line of hey, you're still my mom. Hey, you're still my daughter.” – Jalen (08:33)

3. Growing up together: Family Foundations (05:49 - 06:48)

• Belynda was a stay-at-home mom, always involved in Jalen’s childhood, which built trust and open communication.

4. Family Reaction and Casting Twist (09:14 - 13:43)

• Unexpected Casting:
  • Originally, only Jalen applied. A jokey call with Pastor Cal led to both being cast:

    “If you want to pick her, I want this for her more. Let her go.” – Jalen (10:02)

• Family’s Response:
  • Initial shock but eventual excitement and support from siblings and Jalen’s dad.

5. Taking the Leap: Fears and Preparedness (13:51 - 16:22)

• Biggest Fears:
  • For Belynda, fear of not being liked or disappointing her new spouse:

    “My biggest fear was… what if he's disappointed? …What if he doesn't like me? Then what?” – Belynda (13:56; 14:24)

  • Jalen worried about being judged for her career status and ambitions.
• Advice to Each Other:
  • “Stay open minded and positive and… keep an open heart.” – Jalen (16:05)

6. Weddings and First Impressions (16:39 - 19:30)

• Belynda found watching her daughter’s wedding emotional, and recounts comically relying on her sons’ hand-squeezes to gauge Chad’s looks since she couldn’t see well walking down the aisle.
• Belynda addresses Chad’s multiple previous marriages:

  “When I did find out, I was like, whoa, okay, it is a concern. But then at the same time, you're like, I mean, could he have just had bad luck? …I can't have bad to keep telling myself, okay, stay open minded.” – Belynda (19:01)

7. Challenges with Chad: Filming & Red Flags (19:46 - 26:29)

• Difficulty with Production:
  • Chad resented the cameras, which spilled over into rudeness with the crew and others, leading Belynda to re-evaluate his character.

    “He spent so much time worried about production that there wasn't necessarily a focus on getting to know me...” – Belynda (20:51)

• Unseen Outbursts:
  • Off-camera incidents included a loud confrontation over airport security rules and public profanity:

    “He just turns around and he's like, f you. Like, f who? So loud. To the people. The employees.” – Belynda (23:49)

  • Belynda expressed discomfort at how Chad treated service workers and crew.

8. Staying Patient & Self-Reflection (26:40 - 29:54)

• Belynda pushed herself to stay open and to “give it 100%”—partly due to outside pressure to prove she wasn’t being overly picky.
• Personal Growth:
  • Opening up about her previous unhealthily marriage:

    “I didn't realize how much I still had in there… I can see when I got triggered… now I can pinpoint it and say, this was a triggering moment. …That's my own therapy. That's healing.” – Belynda (28:33)

9. Post-Decision Day; The End of the Marriages (30:14 - 39:47)

• Belynda & Chad Split:
  • After Decision Day, old behaviors (secret drinking, outbursts) resumed. A blowup over their pets finalized Belynda’s decision to leave.

    “For my dog, it's not a big deal, you know? …So when the pizza guy got there, I was like, that's it. I'm taking advantage of this.” – Belynda (34:37)

• Moving Forward:
  • Belynda reveals she’s started seeing someone new, noting the difference in healthy pacing and personality fit:

    “I know when I see it, I'm gonna know it. And, like, I did meet somebody, and his personality is… that's the personality I've been wanting.” – Belynda (39:16)

10. Jalen & Josh: Love, Raves, and Breakup (40:04 - 59:40)

• Surprise Past Connection:
  • Jalen and Josh had met years ago at the gym and via social media:

    “My whole thing was, please don't let it be somebody I go on a date with, please. And sure enough, I walked down the aisle, and I know him immediately.” – Jalen (40:24)

• Highlights and Hurdles:
  • Traveling mostly for raves, Jalen dove into Josh’s world, even enduring Burning Man for him:

    “The camping… wasn't the worst thing. …My worry was, okay, does he like to do recreational drugs? Is that an issue?” – Jalen (45:26)

• Burning Man Experience:
  • Despite initial panic, she immersed herself for ten days off the grid with Josh, even learning to enjoy parts of it.

    “It was tough at first… spent most of the time doing hard labor, building a shower, building our tents, building a giant dome. …Once that was all done, we had a lot of fun.” – Jalen (48:09)

• Sudden Split:
  • The breakup came unexpectedly on a trip to Mexico; Jalen felt blindsided, with closure slow in coming:

    “He just looked at me, and he just said, I don't have a connection with you anymore. I want to break up. And I was literally in shock.” – Jalen (54:12)

  • Josh’s rationale was ambiguous (“level two on the adventure scale”), and his demeanor changed completely, prompting Jalen to move out quickly.

11. Healing and Support (59:54 - 61:53)

• Jalen is focusing on self-worth and not settling, with strong support from friends and family.
• Belynda, for her part, was also shocked, but remains supportive.

12. Reunion & Closure (61:58 - 63:15)

• Both women describe a sense of peace after the reunion:

  “For me, it was more like, ah, the end.” – Belynda (62:57)
  “He was clearly avoidant. He never gave me a chance to communicate. So that was healing enough for me.” – Jalen (63:15)

• Jalen was surprised by Josh’s defensiveness at the reunion rather than accountability.

13. Looking Ahead & Takeaways (63:37 - 65:43)

• Jalen: Open to dating again, feeling positive and ready to trust her gut.
• Belynda: Excited about her current relationship and leading more women’s retreats/travel.
• Shared Philosophy:
  • “If you live with gratitude, then you only can be optimistic. …That's just the way to go.” – Belynda (65:27)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Facing Reality TV Together:

  “There's times where you want to ask each other, like, you know, what do you think? And who knows us better than each other?” – Belynda (04:10)

• On Personal Growth:

  “If I'm having to continuously disagree, that's not my person. …We should at least see eye to eye on how to treat people.” – Belynda (38:58)

• On Relationship Lessons:

  “If I had what I thought was a great marriage for a decent time and that was just me immersing myself in his world, then how much more fun is it going to be to be married to someone who we share that.” – Jalen (64:09)

• On Optimism:

  “If you live with gratitude, then you only can be optimistic. …So I just feel like that's just the way to go.” – Belynda (65:27)

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Important Timestamps

• Mother-daughter on reality TV: 04:01–09:14
• Family’s shock and casting backstory: 09:23–13:43
• First impressions at the altar: 16:55–19:29
• Chad’s red flags and confrontations: 19:46–26:29
• Breakups and moving forward: 30:14–39:47
• Jalen’s experience at Burning Man: 44:56–51:06
• Jalen’s breakup story: 51:07–59:40
• Post-reunion thoughts: 61:58–63:32
• Outlook and gratitude: 63:37–65:43

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Tone & Atmosphere

• Authentic, humorous, supportive, and at times vulnerably emotional.
  The duo’s candor, mutual respect, and humor make the episode accessible and heartfelt, even as they share tough lessons.

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TL;DR

Belynda and Jalen reveal the real journey behind their Married at First Sight experience—the joys, heartbreaks, and growth. They reflect on their unique mother-daughter support, lessons from failed marriages, and the importance of gratitude and optimism as they embrace new chapters in life and love. Their story is a testament to resilience and the enduring bond of family, set against the wild backdrop of reality TV.

Transcript

[Belinda]

The holidays are back at Starbucks, so.

[Jalen]

Share the season with a peppermint mocha.

[Belinda]

Starbucks signature espresso, velvety mocha, and cool peppermint notes topped with whipped cream and dark chocolate curls together is the best place to be at Starbucks. When it comes to gifting, everyone on.

[Jalen]

Your list deserves something special.

[Belinda]

Luckily, Marshall's buyers travel far and wide, hustling for great deals on amazing gifts so you don't have to.

[Jalen]

That means your mom gets that cashmere.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Sweater, your best friend, that Italian leather.

[Jalen]

Bag, your co workers unwrap their favorite.

[Belinda]

Beauty brands, and your nephews the coolest new toys.

[Jalen]

Go ahead.

[Belinda]

At prices this good, you can grab something for yourself too. Marshalls. We get the deals. You gift the good stuff. Shop [e-mail] or find a store near you.

[Jalen]

What's the Reality? What's the Reality?

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

What's up? What's up? And welcome to another episode of what's the Reality? It's me, your girl, A.D. and I am joined by two or three wonderful, wonderful guests. Belinda and Jalen are here from Married at first sight, season 19, the finale, and the reunion just aired last week, and I have so many questions. But first off, hello and welcome to what's the Reality?

[Belinda]

Hi.

[Jalen]

We're good. You're excited.

[Belinda]

We're excited to be here. Mom and daughter, I can't see.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Twins, sisters.

[Jalen]

And you guys, I don't think it still doesn't hit me. I just got chills. And you said it.

[Belinda]

It was so cute.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

I was watching, like, Bing show, and like, if I would turn my head for one second and hear a laugh, I'm like, who was that?

[Jalen]

Oh, my God.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Like, you guys started, like, the laughs.

[Belinda]

Started to, like, blend. Blend. Yeah, there. There was a scene where she says something while she's in the white truck, but I was also in a white truck, so when I heard her, I thought it was me.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

Until I saw her walk out of the white truck and I was like, oh, that wasn't me. That was her. That is so funny.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Okay, so how are you guys both feeling that now that the show has aired and everything is out there?

[Belinda]

Oh, relieved, I think.

[Jalen]

Very relieved. Yeah. I think I feel very at peace. And it's been a whirlwind, so.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah, it's been a long time coming. I heard you guys filmed in 2024.

[Jalen]

We did.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

And we're almost in 2020.

[Jalen]

Yeah, yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

It's just, I bet a lot of anticipation and waiting around.

[Jalen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Okay, so tell me what life has been like for the Past year since filming wrapped.

[Belinda]

I mean, for me, it's just going back to work. And I did some things during the year. Like I went on vacation, I went to Las Vegas, and then I spent two weeks in Bali, which was like, really amazing. Much needed time off and just. Yeah, me and the dog.

[Jalen]

And you hosted a girl's wellness.

[Belinda]

I hosted a girl's wellness retreat, my first one, which is something I want to do moving forward. I really just want. Ever since I became like an empty nester, I really just wanted to get women together, other women who are kind of going through the same thing and just trying to find purpose all over again. So we had to retreat and it was a lot of fun. So that's part of the stuff I've been doing in the past year. And other than that, working, you know, at the same time.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Wait, the retreat sounds amazing.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Did you go?

[Jalen]

I didn't go, no. No. That was more so for her. Lover girls. But I definitely want to get on the next step.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Tell me about your year, Jaylen.

[Jalen]

It's been crazy. I mean, I spent the last year and a half just living an awesome life with Josh up until three months ago. So I think for me it's been. The last three months have been a little more challenging just going through the breakup and, you know, as much as we filmed a long time ago, everything still feels very recent, obviously, just because I spent my life with this person up until recent. So. Yeah.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

So what has it been like going through such a wild once in a lifetime experience together and having each other to lean on through it all?

[Belinda]

I think it's been nice, like, I'm glad that she was there and that I was there for her, just because, I don't know, there's times where you want to ask each other, like, you know, what do you think? And who knows us better than each other? So instead of like going to somebody else and asking, we could ask each other.

[Jalen]

And it's one thing to like call your mom and be like, hey, I need your advice. But for my mom to already be in the same place sometimes and to see the perspective in her way already was, was a nice feeling. Just like, hey, check me really quick. Am I. What's going on here? What are you seeing that I'm not? So that was really nice.

[Belinda]

And I think we found too that we kept giving each other the same advice, just different verbiage back and forth. And then we finally realized it at some point and we're like, I think we're just giving each Other the same advice. That's really cute.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

I just always think what it would be like if my mom was on like Love is Blind.

[Belinda]

And that's what's funny.

[Jalen]

I think a lot of people had this like expectation that we were going to be very in each other's like way and just constantly in the business and we've always done such a good job at having such a different dynamic and I thought that was going to be a fun surprise for people to see.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah, it was really nice to see especially like being like in the reality TV world and knowing like the ins and outs and kind of like you said, like there's so many times where I wanted to call my mom or like and I couldn't or now like once we left the pods and stuff, wanting to talk to my mom and get advice and just having your mom there probably was so relieving.

[Jalen]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

I can't imagine having done all of this without her being there. I think it would just be so weird. I don't know that I would have done that.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

How would you describe your relationship with each other growing up?

[Belinda]

I was a stay at home mom. So you know, she, and she's a twin. So I spent all the time with them, like volunteered at the school and took them everywhere. I was always, that's like I'm the type of person like if I didn't get to do something growing up, I wanted them to do everything. So they were involved in like anything and everything you could possibly think of. I mean there wasn't not a dull moment. We drove from one activity to the next and um, I just kept them busy the whole time. But I feel like relationship wise, like that's how we got closer because I did get to be at home with them.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

I love that.

[Jalen]

Yeah. It was a very open communication we all like. I always felt like I could come to her about anything too much sometimes.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Jalen]

There was just never any judgment for the most part. And, and she's just always been very level headed so. And we're different. So you know, I, I, when I like my dad said on the wedding night, if Jaylen's in the wrong, her mom will tell her.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Jalen]

And that's so. It's fun.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

That's beautiful. What is one quality you admire most about each other?

[Belinda]

Oh my gosh. The quality I admire about her. I personally feel like she's fearless and she has a really good set of boundaries that I wish at her age I had because here I am in my late 40s just trying to have.

[Jalen]

Them so, yeah, I think I appreciate just your selflessness, like the way you naturally put everybody, you know, in front and I think that that's something that. That takes a lot of. Of power. And so I appreciate that for sure.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Y' all are so sweet.

[Jalen]

Oh, smack my mouth.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

What did you each learn about your bond during this whole experience?

[Belinda]

I think what we might have learned about our bond with each other is like, it's. It's like something you definitely can't break. Like, nothing can shake you.

[Jalen]

Doesn't have boundaries. Like, we've never really talked about sex, like, ever. That's probably the one thing that we kind of stay pretty.

[Belinda]

I think they're pretty divided on a.

[Jalen]

Few times, maybe a few times a little much. But I think us, like even having this experience was so much different and we just handled it. I mean, at this age, we're different than when I was younger, but so it was really interesting, but it didn't feel strange at all.

[Belinda]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like we were talking about it kind of honestly, like for the first time, but for me, I just felt like when she got married, it just, it was such a, like a, just a difference in my view of her. It's like, well, now she's not. She was. Yes, she was an adult, but now she's like a married woman and she's a wife and. And that's different. And so I feel like then it does open up the ability to talk about things like that.

[Jalen]

Yeah. And I wouldn't say we're like best friends in a way. We're just like, you know, we just shoot the shit and like, we just say everything, but we're like best friends with a fine line of hey, you're still my mom. Hey, you're still my daughter.

[Belinda]

There's still respect boundary for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Me and my mom are just like that. Like there's. There's a line we just don't quite cross.

[Jalen]

Yeah. I think I, I think some things I normally typically wouldn't tell her, I found myself telling her in the experience just cuz it was. I needed that. That help in the process and, and I'm.

[Belinda]

I also don't feel like she needs to tell me everything. I think like there are some things that she's going to tell her friends and there are something she's going to tell me and I'm okay with that perfectly fine. That's why we have different people.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Right, right, right. Okay, so let's get into your season. You both made history as the show's first mother daughter cast members to get married at first sight.

[Jalen]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

How did you both end up on the show together? Walk us through how this all came to be.

[Jalen]

It was crazy. So, I mean, I started the process of the casting first, and I got pretty far. They started. They came to my house, and they were just. Pastor Cal called my mom, and he's like, let's just make sure you're ready. You're 27. Let's get her on the phone. And my mom having. She grew up watching the show, so she loves Pastor Cal. So when he called her, she's like, oh, my God, I love you. And he laughed, and he said, like, oh, is she ready? My mom said, yes. And he said jokingly, hey, is this something. Would it be something you would ever do? My mom was like, of course. Like, I would love for experts to match me. And it was a joke. We hung up the phone, and immediately after that, production came and said, hey, do you really think your mom would do something like this? I said, yeah, like, actually, if you want to pick her, I want this for her more. Let her go. And they said, let's. Let's figure it out. And so, sure enough, I called her. I said, hey, mom, send me some pictures of you. They want to. And my mom's just like, what?

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Oh, my gosh. That just gave me chills.

[Jalen]

Yeah, it was really crazy. So, yeah, you interviewed. They said, we got one chance to pitch this.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Jalen]

Yeah. And it worked. It was insane.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

That is amazing. What made you each decide to take such a big leap of faith and get married at first sight?

[Belinda]

I feel like it's. It's just a chance you take. And it's a. I. I guess because I was, like, a big fan of the show, and I just always thought that this is, like, such a cool experiment. And I used to always, like, watch and think, gosh, what would I do if I was in this experiment? How would I handle it? You know? And I just thought, like, for me, it was going to be something that was going to be fun and, like, challenging and just totally out of the norm for me. It's not really something I'd ever do, but. But always wanted to do.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

But when you got that call where you're like, yeah, I'm ready to get married again.

[Belinda]

Oh, yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Really?

[Belinda]

Oh, yeah. I was ready to be with somebody already.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

Yeah. Like, I. I just. I feel like I had just hit a moment where I was okay with starting to go out to dinner by myself. I had just started going to movie Theaters by myself. And so I had just gotten comfortable, and then this just, like, fell into my lap, and I was like, okay, well, maybe this is, like, meant to be. Maybe this is how I'm gonna meet my person. Maybe it's because I just got comfortable with living by myself. Yeah. So I was like, it's a 50. 50. It's either a yes or no. And at the end of the day, if it's a. A yes, great. And if it's a no, well, it's okay. It was still a cool experience, you know?

[Jalen]

Yeah. And I thought for me, like, it was just clearly everything I'd been doing, the people I'd been picking, it was just not working. And I thought, what is the harm in having somebody analyze me and. And find something that I wasn't looking for that I kept ignoring in a person? So I thought it was worth the risk for sure.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Were you, like, 100% honest on your applications and stuff?

[Jalen]

Yes.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah. Yes. Thoroughly.

[Jalen]

Thoroughly, very honest. And I remember Pastor Cal said, I don't want to know what you're comfortable with. I don't want to know what you're open to. What do you want?

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Jalen]

And I just felt really at ease. And so, yeah, I definitely was as specific as I could be. I remember seeing even like, a somebody at the grocery store, and I just typed in Google, like, what that person could look like, and I sent it, and I was like, if he could even look like this, this is a good photo. And it was just dramatic, but I gave them.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah, that's so funny. What did the rest of the family think about you two going on the show?

[Belinda]

Oh, my gosh. I think they were kind of in shock.

[Jalen]

Yeah. My brothers were in shock, but so excited because they'd watch.

[Belinda]

Watch, too.

[Jalen]

So excited. My dad had a freak out for a second for me, and then when we told him my mom was gonna do it too, my dad was just like, oh, my God. Okay.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Jalen]

So it was. Everybody was super supportive. We got really lucky. They were all very excited for us, and I think they all kind of. You know, my brothers have seen us in our dating history, and they're like, y' all need. Y' all need get some professional help.

[Belinda]

I know. I think my boys were just excited, too, that I got to be a part of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They want me to have somebody just as bad as she did.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah, I love that. What were your biggest fears going into the experiment?

[Belinda]

Oh, my God. My biggest fear was like, what if I get there? And he's like, Totally disappointed. And that's real. Yeah, that I think. Because I think that I think too, like, what if I was disappointed? But the what if he's disappointed was like harder.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

That's. Yeah, it was harder.

[Belinda]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Because what do you do? Like, how do. You can't change that. You can't fix that.

[Jalen]

Yeah. And it's all the time.

[Belinda]

And if I was disappointed, at least I can tell myself, okay, well, let's stay. Yeah, let's continue working on it. You know, what if they weren't attraction can grow. Because that's happened to me before. Attraction has grown and. But my fear was like, well, what if he doesn't like me? Then what?

[Jalen]

Yeah, I think for me my fear was just still being in a very driven new place as far as my career. And you know, I'm someone who like, I'm still getting there and what if my partner is already there and wants someone already there too? And so I think it was more so me worrying about is my partner going to be super judgmental of some, of some parts of my life?

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah. How did you guys get over those fears?

[Belinda]

I mean, I don't know that.

[Jalen]

I don't know that I did either. I think I just got very lucky that when I did express my fears to Josh, he was super understanding because we were both in the same position. Like one of my fears was him being judgmental of me not finishing college. And that was a huge fear of mine talking about. And he was super open with me about that, which was nice and said I didn't finish either. So it was. That put my fear to rest pretty quick.

[Belinda]

Yeah. I think Chad told me pretty early on. He's like, like I, I just want to, like I think we were going to go on the honeymoon and he's like, I just want to. You know, hopefully when we get to the honeymoon there'll be less cameras and at the wedding and we'll just have a good time and I can get to know you. And so he seemed really excited. You know, I did have to break the news and say I'm sure there's going to be a lot of cameras at the honeymoon too.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Poor cameras.

[Jalen]

I think we're on a TV show.

[Belinda]

Shit.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

What advice did you give each other before starting the experiment?

[Jalen]

It was definitely to stay open minded and positive and, and to keep an open heart. That was the main advice that was like our big. Don't throw the towel in immediately over anything little.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Jalen]

So.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Jalen]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

I think that's one thing you kept telling me.

[Jalen]

Yeah. Like, I did.

[Belinda]

It's okay.

[Jalen]

It's okay.

[Belinda]

It's okay.

[Jalen]

Give it a shot. It's okay. It's okay.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

So I just keep trying to put myself in yalls position, like, with my mom and stuff, and I'm just like, my mom would have ran me off the show. I would have ran her off the show.

[Jalen]

We would have looked at each other.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

And been like, you ready to go?

[Belinda]

This is a little bit too much. Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

So that's, like, so commendable that you guys stuck around for, like, the long haul, because we would have talked each other right out of it, like, before it all. But, Belinda, let's start with you. What was it like watching Jalen on her wedding day? Were you like, oh, my God, this is going to be me tomorrow?

[Belinda]

I. I was excited for her. Of course, seeing her in a wedding dress for the first time, it was beautiful. I wasn't there when she tried her dress on, so it was nice to have that moment where I get to see her come down the aisles, like, kind of, you know, really emotional, and then seeing Josh be emotional, and I was like, oh, my God, this is, like, crazy. But it was. It was nice. I. I mean, I liked it, the whole thing. It was fun.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Looking back, what was your first impressions of Chad when you met him at the altar? Her.

[Belinda]

I felt like he was smiling. I could tell. So before I even went down the aisle, I could hear them laughing from far away. So I thought, okay, I can hear her laughing, so that means something fun is going on. So she must have, like, a fun personality. And that kind of made me feel a little bit better. And I told my sons, like, because I wasn't wearing contacts that day, so I wasn't going to see him until I got real close, because at the time, I didn't like to wear contacts and I wasn't going to wear my glasses. So I was like. So, yeah, the plan was like, okay, I'm gonna walk down the aisle. I'm gonna look right to his family, and then look left to my family. And as I get closer, then I'm gonna look at him. And I told the production team that, so that way they know when my real reaction was, because I couldn't see him from far away. But, I mean, I heard him laughing and I told my sons, you guys, if y'. All, he. If he looks good, squeeze my hand. They never squeeze my hand. So I was, like, walking down like, oh, God, Smiling at everybody. I really hope he is.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

That's like a love is blind reveal.

[Belinda]

Right. But I mean, you know, I got there and he, you know, was friendly and nice and everything at the altar and, you know, laughing and just. It was. It was good. Like, I was comfortable.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

I didn't feel uncomfortable at all at that point.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah. That's insane.

[Belinda]

I know.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Walking out to a stranger and feeling comfortable.

[Belinda]

Like, what does that say about me? Like, am I the weird one? That it wasn't uncomfortable?

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

No, that just means he felt. See, that's good. But were you concerned to learn how many times Chad had been previously married?

[Belinda]

So. Well, I didn't know in that moment, but when I did find out, I was like, whoa, okay, it is a concern. But then at the same time, you're like, I mean, could he have just had bad luck? I mean, lots of bad luck. Like, I hope he was having some bad luck. Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day. Yes. I can't have bad to keep telling myself, okay, stay open minded. Like, it could, you know, I don't know. One of them could have died.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Anything.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Jalen]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

So, yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Did you have any reactions to.

[Jalen]

Oh, yeah. I mean, that. To me, I was just all over her face. Ooh, okay. Interesting. That's quite a bit. So. But he seemed really genuine and I loved his family, so I again, kept that up in mind.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Open mind. You guys are so funny. Belinda, a lot of challenges in your relationship with Chad stemmed from how he handled the pressures of being filmed and his interactions with production. Can you talk a bit more about that and how it impacted your relationship?

[Belinda]

The whole time he was struggling with it. It was from the start.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

And I mean, it only opened the door to let me see, like, who he is and how he treats people. And so I would see that and then I'd be like, okay. Then I'd have to have this. Just talk with myself and be like, okay, he hasn't treated you like this. He's treating them like this. But it all goes back to that saying. Right. Like, people always say, oh, I like to see how my dates treating the waiter. The waiter. And we all know it's not about the waiter. It's just in general, like, how you treat other people. Right. And so I think that he spent so much time worried about production that there wasn't necessarily a focus on getting to know me. It was more so of getting production away from himself.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

And I think that's where it just. I just started to lose that attraction because of it. I can't. I just, I. I lose attraction when I see people just argue with People constantly, you know, why do you think.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

He was so, like, hyper focused on cameras and production, and.

[Belinda]

He didn't like it at all. I think he really thought he was going to get tv. Yeah. I think he thought he was going to get married and then he was going to have his. I mean, he said it several times.

[Jalen]

Times.

[Belinda]

I just want to have time to get to know you.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

Without all this. And I'm like, but you wouldn't have had me here if you hadn't signed up for it.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Right.

[Belinda]

So make it make sense. You sign up for something, you know what it is because they've told you what it is, and then you want to meet me, keep me and back out of all the other obligations, you know?

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Jalen]

And it's clear. It's just. He wasn't. He didn't realize what he signed up for. But you also have to commit. When you commit, you've got to, you know, treat people the right way and follow through.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah. Were there any moments that happened that we didn't get to see?

[Belinda]

Oh, my God. There was lots. It's like, oh, where do we start? What if you could have reliable and.

[Jalen]

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[Belinda]

Problems before you even notice them, and.

[Jalen]

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[Belinda]

So share the season with a peppermint mocha.

[Jalen]

Starbucks signature espresso, velvety mocha and cool.

[Belinda]

Peppermint notes topped with whipped cream and dark chocolate curls together is the best place to be at Starbucks. I feel like one of the big moments for me, the, you know, we have our dinner at the. At the hotel, and that was the first outburst. And you don't actually even see the full outburst on the episode, but there was that one. And then right as we were going to leave the airport to come back home from honeymoon, he had a. Pat had given him like, a liquor bottle of some kind, and he put it on his carry on. And so we get to the airport and they're like, can't bring that. You can't bring this.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

And he just, like, goes off. He's like, but it's not open. It's not open. And they're like, yeah, you can't bring this, like, open or not. It's not. You can't bring it. And he's arguing. It's not open. It's not open. And he's a loud guy and a big guy, and so he's just going back and forth. And, you know, they tell him no. And so I'm like, chad. They said no. And so he just turns around and he's like, f you. Like, f who? So loud. To the people. The employees.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Hold up.

[Belinda]

No, not me. To them. But it was, like, so loud that I was like, what the heck? Like, like had. I'm, like, looking around to see who's there. And I think you and Josh, I think they had just walked right out of a. A store. And so I just pretended like nothing had just happened when I saw them, because I'm. I. I'm just like, if my kids had been traveling with us, I mean, which one was. But she wasn't standing there, I would have been so embarrassed. Like, I just would have been so embarrassed. But we got on the plane, he said, is everything okay? And I was like, no. Like, I just have a feeling that our personalities are just not going to mesh well together.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Right.

[Belinda]

And he said, why do you think that? And I said, I mean, the way you treated those people at the airport. Like, I said, I've spent years trying to get away from people who do things like that. I said, and I can't tell you not one or family member right now who I know that would do something like that.

[Jalen]

It's only been a rule for how long at the airport.

[Belinda]

I know. And right. In that moment, he. There was no cameras. So in that moment, he said, well, I guess we were just raised differently. So there was no, like, apology or anything like that. It was. I. We were raised differently. And I'm thinking you were raised to.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Act this way, cuss people out over. Over you being.

[Belinda]

Over you being wrong.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Interesting.

[Belinda]

So, Yeah, I think Dr. Pepper had to talk with us about that. And his. His response to that was when he feels that he's being like him or his family is being stolen from, he's going to defend his family. I'm like, that is not being stolen from. No, that is you breaking a rule.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Right? A law.

[Belinda]

Yeah. Federal laws.

[Jalen]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

And. And feeling, like, privileged that you could break a rule like that, like, and then be upset with somebody else for having the rule, like, come on. And it's not like the employees make up these rules. So you're treating these people badly who have nothing to do with it. Yeah. And to Me, it goes back to that. Like, you're treating these people are trying to do their job, you're treating them like crap. And then your productions trying to do their job, you're treating them like crap. You're the one who signed up to be here. So, yeah, there was, There was just moments like that and I just kept like telling myself, okay, we're staying open minded. Yeah, you're staying open minded.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

That's tough. My mind would have closed.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

So that's.

[Belinda]

I wanted to, like, yeah, I wanted to. And then I kept saying, no, let's give it a try. Let's give it a try.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

And for me, I've always felt like if you, if you practice something, you can kind of like make it come to fruition. So I thought, stay open minded with him and treat him right. Treat him like, like you just married the man. He's your husband. Right. So treat him as such, and then it will become that. But I tried to do that and it didn't work.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah. Speaking of, you did seem really open and committed to giving the marriage a real shot. What helped you stay grounded and patient throughout the ups and downs, besides keep an open mind?

[Belinda]

I think just that. And then having her there and then also having. Having some thoughts in the back of my mind of people who have said, like, are you sure you tried hard enough? Or maybe you're just picky? Or I, you know, I've gotten that from friends or family members, and I think that in the back of my mind saying, no, no, you're gonna prove them wrong. You know, like, it's not that you're picky. It's not. You're gonna give it, give it 100. Let's give it 100. So, yeah, that's kind of, I think, what kind of kept me, like, that's.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Like good and bad.

[Belinda]

Yeah, yeah. All at the same time. It's like trying to prove something to myself, you know, to others and to others.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah, more than yourself at some point.

[Belinda]

And I think also in the back of my mind, I kind of felt like, okay, so you're like the first person who's in their 40s to be on here. Like, you represent something different. And I know if I was watching, I would be so hopeful. I would just be like, gosh, just tell us, just tell us that we still all have a chance, you know what I mean, to find this. And I felt that, and, and I even felt like, gosh, I don't want to disappoint people if it doesn't work. So that's a lot of pressure.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

I know.

[Belinda]

I know I do those things to myself, but. But, yeah, selfless. I was thinking about all of those things and just really trying. And so I thought, well, at least. At least if I give it a chance even off outside of, you know, filming, then I know I gave it 100%. I know no one can say that I didn't try hard enough because I gave it a chance during filming, after filming. And. Yeah. You're so sweet.

[Jalen]

She is.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

So you went through some really vulnerable moments on the show, especially when you opened up about your unhealthy relationship with your ex husband.

[Belinda]

I don't know why it all hit harder when we were filming this. It just seemed to, like, I got triggered more and it was different. And like, he and I are in a good place now, you know, and it just got to a point where, like, the, the arguments, the fighting, like, it. We. We finally got tired of it and got to a point where we kind of just like eventually stopped and we're like, I'm tired of fighting with you. I'm tired fighting with you too. But I didn't realize how much I still had in there. And that's one thing I loved about actually getting to be on the show and watching it back, because I can see when I got triggered. I know exactly when I got triggered. And now I can pinpoint it and say, this was a triggering moment. Yeah, this is why I got triggered. And now I know that that's something I on and. And that's, for me, that's my own therapy. Like, I just, like that's healing. Figured it out. Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Jalen, what was it like watching your mom open up about that?

[Jalen]

I think it was. It was tough, but it was something I definitely knew would trigger her. And seeing some of Chad's outbursts, I definitely understood how she got triggered from that. So I completely get it. And. And yeah, I know her dad and.

[Belinda]

I have a good relationship now.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

Watching the show.

[Jalen]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

Yeah. And it. I mean, if it wasn't for him, I would never have been able to be a stay at home mom. So it is something that I will always appreciate.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

But he and I, you know, we were young and we pretty much grew up together, so raising kids, growing up together and raising kids at the same time.

[Jalen]

By 30.

[Belinda]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

So despite issues you and Chad were having, you both decided to say yes on decision day, but things quickly went downhill after that. Can you walk us through what happened after decision day?

[Belinda]

After decision day, we had about, like, Four days at our apartment, I think. And I started noticing that like the drink. Cause he would drink every night and we didn't have NEST cameras in our living room because he pretty much told production that Belinda has HIPAA law for her job so she can't have NEST cameras. Even though I had already told him, like, hey, like I can work out of my bedroom. I did that for a year anyway. Like it's not a big deal. But he still wanted to use that excuse so he could get away with not having NEST cameras. And he had been drinking every night. So leading up to decision day, like he said yes to like he would make some changes and. But then those last like four days that we were there after decision day, it's like it kind of all went back to normal except that he just switched his cup and it looked like a water cup. I don't know if it was water. I don't know what was in there. I said I'm not going to even go smell it. Because the point is if he's still doing this stuff, like I'm not here to change you. I'm just here to observe and see like if I can live with you or not, you know. But there was that and we had a conversation and I like, I told him, like, I don't know what's going on, like you don't come to bed at night. Like I need to know. And yeah, that was, that was a whole thing, that conversation. But we, I went to his house. I was going to move into his house. Originally we said we were going to take like a four day break. That was my, that was my idea because his dog had been having like problems with the person it was staying with. She, I guess he said that she had torn up a couch. She, I know like on Easter she had kind of like peed on the rug. And so I felt bad and I had told him, I said, look, maybe it'll be a good idea if you take the dog home and let get, get situated and everything. I ended up going to his house at night and we were gonna take all my stuff and, and put it inside the house. And then this whole blow up happened with the cat and my dog and it wasn like they were loose. Like Chad was carrying the cat and I'm. He's got to be at least six feet, right? And so the cat's about six feet high. And my dog like just, he comes down to like bring Sophie to us. And my dog kind of slowly walks and is looking at Sophie's tail And, well, she gets spooked. And so she climbed up and kind of scratched him. And so he got upset, but then he came around anyway and stood on this side and brought her again. And I said, why do you keep bringing her closer? Like. Like, she's already, like, crawled up your face. And so my dog was right here, and he's kind of leaning over to kind of smell him. And then Chad just, like, pushed him out of the way, and it was all upset. And I said, like, I don't know. He started yelling, saying, he's being aggressive, and, you know, he's being aggressive, and he's, like, yelling. And I'm just like, are we seeing the same thing? Like, I'm sitting here, My dog's quiet. My dog's not jumping on you. Yes. He's kind of leaning slowly because he wants to see the cats. Yeah. And my dog's been around cats.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Right.

[Belinda]

So it. For my dog, it's not a big deal, you know? So he walked away from us, and when he had his back turned to me, just like at the airport, he turned his back to the people before he yelled at them, he turned his back to me. And he was like, he's an untrained dog that doesn't know how to behave. And I'm just like, what the hell? But then he paused, and I'm, like, staring at him, and I'm like, is he waiting for me to throw something at him? Is he waiting for me to say something? Like, what? Is he going to turn around and come at me? Like, I don't know what's happening? So I'm to going just staring at him, and I'm kind of, like, feeling, like, shaky. And I guess he figured, okay, nothing's coming at me. So then he kept walking. He went upstairs and put her away, and the pizza guy got there. So when the pizza guy got there, I was like, that's it. I'm taking advantage of this. I got my dog. I went and buckled him into the car. I got all my clothes off the kitchen table, went and loaded into my car. As he's getting the pizza from the pizza guy, I come back in, and he's like. He's sitting down, and he says, make sure to take a slice of pizza.

[Jalen]

I was like, what? Yeah, yeah, that was sweet. What?

[Belinda]

I was like, oh, my God.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Took the whole box.

[Belinda]

I know, right? We had ordered pizza and, like, a little salad bowl. I grabbed my salad bowl. I just took it.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

And it was late. This was, like, at. This was like. Like past nine. And I still had like a 45 minute drive back home. Mind you, I had just driven the 45 minutes to his place.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Right. Make sure you take a slice of pizza.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Oh no, I don't like that.

[Jalen]

And I did my best.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

I don't like.

[Belinda]

Yeah. And there you go. I tried.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

So you saw Chad yesterday at the reunion, but before then, had you two seen or communicated with each other?

[Belinda]

We had seen each other. We had both gone to, was it Pat's birthday party, Britney's birthday party and Brittany's birthday? So the last time I saw him was Britney's birthday party. We, we really didn't talk much. But at Britney's birthday party when we got married, he had given me a little heart necklace that they, I don't think that they show that part, you know, when the groom and bride exchange gifts and mine had busted. So he had sent it to get it fixed and so I guess it had come back. So at Britney's birthday party, he apparently told Megan to slide it into my purse. And Megan I guess felt uncomfortable just doing it without telling me. So she types on her phone like, chad wants me to slip this into your purse. Are you okay with that? And I look and I'm just like.

[Jalen]

Like he's right there.

[Belinda]

I mean it's like she's sitting here and he's right on the other side of her. And so I just said, yeah, like it's not a big deal.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

So she slides it in my purse and at this point I'm feeling awkward because I don't know if there's a huge bag sticking out of my purse that I should make, that I should look at and, and acknowledge and say, hey, thanks for giving me my necklace back or what. So I just like, was like, you know what, just ignore your purse. It's behind you, it's fine. And it wasn't until he left that I turned to look at my purse and it was just into the little small pouch in my purse. But I just thought you're a 54 year old man and you couldn't easily just say, hey, your necklace finally got fixed and I want to give it back to you. Like, what's wrong with that? So I don't, I just thought it was like the strangest thing. Oh yeah. So that, that was our like no conversation. But we saw each other, but there was no conversation, which is fine with me. And I changed my phone number so he never had my new number.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

So do you wear the necklace?

[Belinda]

I did every now and then. But then it's just like. It just became uncomfortable, and it's so sad because it's a cute heart, and I'm, like, really big on wearing heart jewelry and. Yeah, I know.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Well, maybe you can slide it back next time you see. Right.

[Belinda]

Slide it in his pocket.

[Jalen]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

What would you say you learned about yourself from your marriage to Chad? And how has this experience shaped what you're looking for in a partner now?

[Jalen]

How.

[Belinda]

I think what I learned most of all are. Are the trigger points, and that it is something that I have to work on. And I feel like at some point he said, you run from conflict. He said, I'm not like you. You run from conflict. And I said, I don't run from conflict. I. I have conflict when it matters and when it's not worth my time, I don't have it. Like, I'm not going to have a conversation when it doesn't matter. And I feel like just listening to my inner voice and. And not being afraid to just speak my mind is one thing. And not having to feel like if I speak my mind, that that person's going to eventually resent me. I think something I learned was that if I'm having to continuously disagree, that's not my person. That's not my person. That means we. We don't. Not that we have to agree with your person all the time, but we should admit we should at least see eye to eye on how to treat people. To treat people and how to respect each other and that kind of thing. So I think, like, moving forward, I know the personality that I want, and I know. I know when I see it, I'm gonna know it. And, like, I did meet somebody, and his personality is. I'm just like. It's so weird because sometimes I don't even talk about him. Sometimes I just am like, he's like the personality that I love. That's the personality I've been wanting. So. Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Wait, so you met someone?

[Belinda]

I did.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yay.

[Belinda]

I spilled that accidentally. We're moving. I feel like we're moving. So. Yeah. You know, because I, you know, all of this is coming out and everything, and so just. Just taking it easy and taking my time, and that's also new for me.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

Moving slow. Because I think everybody in my past has been, like, love bombing type, which I know doesn't work. So not having someone who absolutely love bombs you is a little hard at first, because at first you're just like, oh, my God. Yeah, it's been a couple days. Did he change his mind? You know, but at the same time, you don't want him to know you're thinking that, so you're, like, trying to, like, stay calm. Yeah, yeah. But. Yeah, but those feelings are there until, like, I've started to get used to that. I'm like, it's okay. This is something called healthy.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Right.

[Belinda]

Relationship.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

So that's exciting, though. Yeah, that's good news.

[Belinda]

Yeah. I love his personality. Just. I love it. Like, that's the personality I've been waiting for. So.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Okay.

[Jalen]

Yay.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

All right, we might have to come back to that.

[Belinda]

I know.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Jalen, let's move on to you for a little bit. Tell us about your first impressions of Josh and what you were feeling on your wedding day.

[Jalen]

Yeah, I mean, I don't know. What's not shown on the show is we had already met.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Ooh.

[Jalen]

Yeah, we.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Wait, what?

[Jalen]

Yeah. Which. Yeah, we had already. It was very crazy. My whole thing when I was Austin is so small, and so I've been single for a long time. So it was just. My whole thing was, please don't let it be somebody I go on a date with, please. And sure enough, I walked down the aisle, and I know him immediately. And we. I. When I saw him, I said, you know, this is great. He's very handsome. But then I said to myself, I didn't want to disappoint myself because I just said, I don't want to know him. And I did. So I didn't want that to affect me. So I said, actually, I've never been on a date with him. We've never talked, like, at all. So let me just. Like, I don't know him, and let me just.

[Belinda]

So how did you know him?

[Jalen]

So probably like, eight years ago, we met at Gold's Gym. He came up to me and just introduced himself, and I said, hi. And. And then I had just met, like, somebody I was with for a long time. So I would see him here and there, and he would say, hi. I think he worked at a bar once, and. And I walked in and he took me to grab a drink, and I said, okay, thank you, and left. But I was in a relationship for a while. And it's funny because the day after the. Or that night, the wedding night, we both didn't say anything. Yeah, maybe we were thinking the same thing. And I was like, maybe he doesn't remember me. Like, I'm not sure. Well, I wasn't sure. I was like, I'm not gonna make the whole night about that, because I don't know him. And so let's just, like, figure it out.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Were you guys, like, social media friends?

[Jalen]

So I knew at some point we had been on social media. And then it's really funny, at the end of the night, he looked at me, he said, you know who I am? I said, yeah, I do. And it's so weird, because the next morning, we were like, let's add each other in our phones. Maybe we have each other because we met eight years ago. And sure enough, I did have him in my phone. What? And I was like, oh, my God, this is so embarrassing. But I couldn't tell you any. I couldn't. I don't remember any point of him ever texting me. So maybe he, like, asked for it on Instagram. But I do know he. He was in my DMs for a long time, but I was always. I was in the trenches in another relationship, and I didn't really pay attention to DMs. And so we were just. We met, but we had never done anything with it. We never talked. It was. It was very strange.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Inches. Did you guys have mutual friends?

[Jalen]

No mutual friends. So it was like, clean slate. Like, the next day, I think I looked at his Instagram just to figure out who he was. And I was like, we have no mutual friends. This is so strange. But I didn't know anything. And I think that kept me positive. I was like, this is good. Like, this is what I wanted. Sure. Like, I recognized him, but all I knew about him was that he went to Gold's and worked at a bar at the time. So it was. It was interesting. Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

And you were like, open my.

[Jalen]

Yeah. And I mean, my biggest thing was hoping the person was attractive. So. And he was. So that was great. I think for me, I was just like, okay, you don't know him. We're not gonna make it about that. Cause you don't. So I was happy.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Okay. That was a fear of mine on Love Is Blind. I was like, I don't know who's gonna come, like. Cause the name I knew, I never heard. But it's like, you never know where you see people out, especially in small towns or, like, when you're going out to bars and stuff, you're like, you never. No, that was a big fear of mine. I was like, please don't let it be exactly someone that has a nickname that I thought was someone else. Yes.

[Jalen]

And I think when I met him, I immediately, in my head, thought, he's been like. He's been one of those in my DMs a lot. Like, I remember that. And. But I was always. I was a relationship girl, so I was always. I was in something really serious, so he would. Yeah. And I think actually we joked about it because he. I never responded. So he unfollowed me. Oh. And he remembers. He said I had an. I unfollowed him first because I guess he was blowing me up. And he said, you unfollowed me, and I unfollowed you. And I was like, oh, that's funny. But I know. I just didn't pay attention because I was, like, in love.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

That is so interesting. That is a fun thing.

[Jalen]

Yeah. Plot twist.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah. You and Josh were one of the strongest couples right from the start. In fact, it. It seemed like the biggest issue you guys faced on the show revolved around the discussion of Burning Man. Why do you think there were so many communication issues when it came to talking about this?

[Jalen]

It was really tough because my biggest fear about Burning Man. Yeah. The camping. But when I'm in love with someone again, I'll do anything, and I would have gone camping. That wasn't the worst thing. I think, for me, the Burning man experience was okay. You know, that's a lifestyle, and there's a lot of things that you think about when it comes to that lifestyle. And for me, my worry was, okay, does he like to do recreational drugs? Is that an issue? That's a big no for me.

[Belinda]

Right.

[Jalen]

And that's a huge. It was a huge issue for me, and I think that was my fear was, is this just a party animal guy? And that was not what I wanted. And so it was a lot of conversation off camera about, hey, that's a deal breaker for me. I need to know if this is, like, your whole personality. Do you love to do these things that they do there? And not everybody does do that, but I asked if he did, and he said no. I love to go to the vulnerability camps and learn things and dance. We didn't go to any vulnerability camps.

[Belinda]

That's what I was gonna ask.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

We learned at the reun that you actually decided to go with Josh to Burning man, even though you were very open about it not being your thing. What made you change your mind and tell us about the experience?

[Jalen]

Yeah. I think for me, again, my biggest fear was if it was a whole lifestyle and I wasn't open anymore towards the end of the show. But then I realized this is his whole personality. It is his lifestyle, and I love him. And if I want to be with this man, I. Despite what he's saying of it doesn't matter if you don't like it. And I'm not letting him go by himself. It's 10 days. You don't know what they're doing right. And he just kind of messed my trust up a little bit. I'm like, I don't think so, right? Hey there, it's Katie Nolan, host of.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Casuals, the sports podcast where we don't care how much you know about sports. We're just happy that you're here. Every week I hang out with some of my good friends to discuss the biggest stories across sports and entertainment, but.

[Jalen]

In a way that's like, fun and not. Not boring.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Want to know Sue Bird's favorite Diana Taurasi story? Or how heavy the Larry o' Brien trophy is? Or even what baseball team is right for you based on your moon sign we got you.

[Jalen]

Listen to Casuals every Tuesday and Thursday.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

On the SiriusXM app or wherever you get your podcasts. Bye.

[Belinda]

The holidays mean more travel, more shopping, more time online, and more personal info in more places that could expose you more to identity theft. But Lifelock monitors millions of data points per second. If your identity is stolen, our US based restoration specialists will fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Don't face drained accounts, fraudulent loans, or financial losses alone. Get more holiday fun and less holiday worry with Lifelok. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com Specialoffer terms apply.

[Jalen]

So I think I just realized I do need to go. And if. And it's important because if I don't like it, then it's not gonna work because it is important to him and he's not gonna want to be with me. If I don't like it, it's not gonna happen. So I needed to go and actually experience it for myself. And I did.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

How?

[Jalen]

Was was not exactly what I pictured. I think I pictured just that wasn't my scene. And I pictured a lot of chaos. And it was. But it wasn't as scary as I thought. I just thought it was gonna be a lot of chaos. And it was chill. I was really scared. I didn't really drink. I survived off Celsius and I wanted to stay alert and aware of my surroundings. And so it was tough at first just because we spent most of the time doing hard labor, building a shower, building our tents, building a giant dome. And I was like, holy shit. Like, can I do this? And then once that was all done, we had a lot of fun. It was just him and I, for the most part. And we went and danced to Taylor Swift, which was my thing, and. And at night, we did his thing, and we stayed up till 6am and I rallied my face off the whole time. The whole time. Didn't complain, didn't cry. I had one panic attack before we went in, and then I was good.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Did you call mom at all?

[Jalen]

No, we had no cell service.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Oh.

[Jalen]

So that was another thing. Like, you're completely isolated out there.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Oh, no, thank you.

[Jalen]

And that's a little scary, but I don't need.

[Belinda]

She called before when she had the panic attack.

[Jalen]

Called before. But I just. That was a lot of disconnection that. I don't. I don't need that disconnection every in life, I guess. So it was kind of scary for me to just not have access to any family or know what's going on for 10 days.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

I can't even imagine. Yeah, but good for you.

[Belinda]

She had us all over for dinner before they went.

[Jalen]

Yep. I really treated it like I was, like, going into the war.

[Belinda]

And she said, don't anybody die while I'm gone.

[Jalen]

Please, no one die while I'm gone. I'll be so sad. I was stressed.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Did you think you would see the day that she would actually go?

[Belinda]

Like, I don't. I didn't really know much about Burning man, so I was just like, what is this big deal about it? But then when she says she wouldn't have her phone for all that time, and when she had us over for dinner and she's saying things like, oh, nobody died when I'm gone, then it hit me. I thought that that's her fear. Her fear is to not have access to anybody for 10 days and, I don't know, maybe being there, obviously, with all the other stuff she talks about. But, yeah, it didn't surprise me that she went though.

[Jalen]

Yeah. And the camping aspect was actually not bad. Like, the tent, he. He made it really fun. We decorated the tent and we. We personalized it, and the showering was different, but, like, I love him, and I wanted to be his partner and teammate. So I was like, fuck it. Let's make the shower, and let's shower with buckets of used water. I don'. Literally. So it was crazy, but I did it, and I was gonna do it again. My only requirement for the next year was, let's get an rv. And he said, okay.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Okay. Well, sadly, we learned at the reunion that you and Josh recently separated. How are you today? How are you feeling about everything?

[Jalen]

I think I'm feeling much better. I Think it was really hard at first, just feeling like I didn't get closure or feeling like I got an answer that made sense or that I could really take. And I just felt so hurt and blindsided at the time. And it's taken, truly, I think, up until the whole three months to, like, get to a better place.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Can you walk us through what life and your marriage was like for the past year, since filming wrapped and how you got here? Like, what actually happened?

[Jalen]

Yeah, I moved into Josh's house and we were having a lot of fun. We were redecorating the house and we. We traveled. We. Every traveling experience we did, though, was. Was for raves. Like, we went to Miami to go to a rave. We went to LA or Vegas to go to a rave. And I didn't mind. I was like, you know, let me immerse myself in your world. And this is. Is. It's. I can do it like I'm doing it. And I wanted to prove that to him. So it was a lot of traveling. We did a couple work trips for his company, and that wasn't Ravi, but for the most part, everything was for raves. Burning Man. But it was. It was fun. It was. Every day felt very different. We did a lot just in our daily life and travel. And then he said one day, let's foster a dog. And I was like, like, okay, sure. And so we picked up this puppy, and he knew I was gonna fall in love. And we. We got a third dog and we were raising him, and it was so fun. Yeah, we were having a blast. We had issues. To me, I felt like that is what marriage comes with. So I didn't. You know, every issue we had, we handled and we were working through things, but overall, we were always really strong. And I would tell him, like, I'm glad we feel very secure. Like, this is a nice feeling. And then I was really excited because our most recent trip was going to be the first time we'd go on a trip with my friends and do something I liked. It was for a birthday and it was going to be more so a relaxed trip. And he had just gotten his diving license. And when he did, when he graduated, I decorated the house with all this shark themed. I had shark music playing when he walked through the door, shark balloons. So I was cheering him on. I wasn't going to die dive with him, but I was, like, excited. And we went to Mexico for my friend's birthday, and he went diving a full day. It ended up being girls because one girl went through A breakup, so. But he loved being with my girls. Like, he didn't care. So we had a good time. We went to dinner. We had fun. And then that night, it was like, we were talking, and he just looked at me, and he just said, I don't have a connection with you anymore. I want to break up. Up. And I was literally in shock. Like, I couldn't believe.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

In Mexico.

[Jalen]

In Mexico. He said that it was, like, the last night. And I was just like, what? What's wrong? I have no idea what's wrong. And he just said. He started by saying, I just realized I'm unhappy when I bought a motorcycle and I bought a new truck. Like, those are. I. I impulse. I make impulse decisions when I'm not happy in a relationship. I did it with my ex. And I was just like, okay, well, what's wrong? Why are you doing that? That happened quite a bit ago, anyway. And he just said, I don't know. Like, I just think you're a level two on the adventure scale. I'm a 10. And I was just. I was like, I'm confused. That doesn't make sense either. We just spent a year doing everything you want to do, and I didn't do it in a complaining way. I dove in.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Jalen]

I said, can you give me another reason? Like, what is the reasoning? And he. He really couldn't give me anything that made sense. And I said. He said, maybe we just need to go. I need to feel more fulfilled. Maybe we just need to go on runs and hikes. And I said, okay. I love to go on runs. You've come with me once, so it's a lot of pressure to think this one run or hike is gonna help us when you just expressed you're not happy, that's gonna fix us. That's the only answer you can give me.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Let's go for a run.

[Jalen]

So I said, okay, okay. Can you give me a chance? Can we work on it? Like, this is the first time you're ever expressing you're unhappy and you just want to break up. And he said, okay, that's fine. We can give it a chance. And then we got back, and I asked him, I said, where is my connection with you? Like, am I starting from zero? Am I starting from a halfway point? And I was really frustrated. And he was like, I just. I can't do it. I can't do it. And I was like, wait, no, I'm sorry. Let's go back to our original plan. Never mind. And I was just walking on eggshells. But he was a totally different person during those three days. Like, cold. And I asked him, I said, why are you acting so cold? And he said, I'm not acting cold. I am cold. And I was. I had never seen this human in my life, like, a year and a half. He's the most chill dude down for anything. No. No emotional craziness. I was just like, what is happening? Like, I said, is there somebody else? Like, I don't know what's going on? And he said, no, there's definitely nobody else. And I said, okay.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Did you believe that?

[Jalen]

I did at the time, but I just. Because I wanted it to work. And I just had no idea. Like, nothing made sense. And finally, the last night, we went to a. A concert for him that he wanted to go to. And we get. We're in line. I'm feeling just so insecure and on eggshells. And he's talking to this girl who works there. He's like, oh, yeah? She's like, I'm doing a marathon. Cool. And I'm standing behind him, and I'm in my feels because he hasn't said, hey, this is nothing. And so we walk in. I'm like, who was that? You didn't introduce me. And he was like, oh, I thought you knew her. She works here. I was like, no. He said, I'm sorry. You're like, she came back in. I was. I said, I know. I'm just sad. Like, give me a second. And we walk in, and we're having a good time. We're having fun. And this girl comes up to us. Later, out of nowhere comes up to us.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

The same girl.

[Jalen]

Different girl. A different girl comes up to us. And he knew a lot of people there. He was there a lot. And she's like, hey. And he's like, hey, it's strange. Do I think. I just don't know what to think. And he's like, this is my wife, Jalen, of course. I'm like, hi. And she's like, congratulations. So I'm like, okay. They know each other because she's known he's been single at some point. And then he's like, oh, thanks. It was so loud. And so she leaves. And I was like, oh, who was that? And he was like, oh, I don't know. I don't know how I know her. I was like, well, it seems like y' all knew each other. What do you mean? He's like, no, I don't know. And I was like, God forbid. I don't use the Right. Verbiage. He yelled at me at the reunion about. I was trying to be classy, and I was like, did you hook up with her? And I said, did you block her? And he's like, we're leaving. And I just knew in that moment, this was it. Like, he was red. That was his out.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jalen]

And so we leave. We're in the car, we're silent. And then I started saying, hey, I'm sorry. Like, again, I'm, like, freaking out. Like, I'm sorry. I was insecure because I'm. You just broke up with me out of nowhere. I'm thinking all these things, trying to.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Put the pieces together.

[Jalen]

Give me a second. Can you give me a chance? And he's like, you need to pack your things right now. And I just. It was midnight on a Saturday. I was like. I said, I'm not packing my things. I gotta work all day tomorrow. And I. The next day I worked, and I was just distraught. And then I had one hour for an apartment to be open, that I had time to tour. I toured it. Said, screw it, sign the lease. And I moved out pretty quick. It was just like, I didn't know who he was. He was acting totally chill, not sad. Like, whatever you need. I don't want this to be hard for you. And I was like, sir, okay. And, like, even taking my dog, like, I was crying because I felt bad for him and my dog. Like, this is our dog, and we're leaving, and Josh is just like, nothing happened and I get it. Like, maybe everyone handles things different. So I didn't hold it against him too much, but. But it did just seem like he had been processing this breakup for a long time. And that was what was hurtful.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

The blind sighting.

[Jalen]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Oh, my goodness. Yeah. What the hell?

[Jalen]

No idea. Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

So what has the healing process been like for you since the separation?

[Jalen]

I think it's been healthy. Like, I've. I think what happened was. It's just like I had to separate it. Like. Like I wasn't getting everything I deserved in the relationship. And I need to remember that. Like, okay. It's more so my ego hurt right now because he did blindside me. I have no closure. But at the same time, do I want. Should I go back to him? Do I want to beg for him back or make this really work? Like, no, I kind of deserve better. And I wasn't getting a lot of fairness in the relationship. And so I. It took a while. I tried to go out with my friends, and I'd tell Them, hey, I'm kind of. I'm over, I'm gonna go. And they'd be like, yeah. So I steadily, like, made my way. I healed. I just. I tried to stay positive and remember that these feelings would. Would pass.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

And at this point, how long has it been since you guys separated?

[Jalen]

It's just now three months.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Three months.

[Jalen]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

And how's the support system been, like, especially with your mom to help you get through that? This.

[Jalen]

The support's been really great. I think everybody that I told was absolutely shocked cuz it just was never seeming that way to anyone. And so everyone's been really supportive and. And there for me, and that's been really nice.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

And obviously you didn't see this coming.

[Belinda]

No.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

I mean, I was surprised. They did everything together. They were always together.

[Jalen]

Always.

[Belinda]

They had to take care of my dog because I had to leave, like on emergency, and. And I just thought she was going to come and spend the night with my dog. And though it was both of them. So for me, I mean, people would ask me, like, how are Jalen and Josh? I'm like, they're doing great. They're just like, doing everything together. And I know being young and being married, I always wished that we would do everything together like that. And so I just thought it was like the best thing. So I did. I. I knew that they had had issues here and there because every now and then she'd call and say, like, hey, this happened and. But to me, it just like, came out of nowhere. Yeah.

[Jalen]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

I'm sorry, girl.

[Jalen]

It's okay.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Okay, you guys, let's talk reunion.

[Jalen]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

First of all, how are we both feeling after the reunion?

[Jalen]

Really good.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Jalen]

Yes.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

I heard that sigh.

[Jalen]

Yes.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Exhale. Yeah.

[Jalen]

It was just nice. I think I'd been dreading seeing him and rehashing that moment, so it was nice to just get it done with.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

What do you guys think was the most shocking moment at the reunion?

[Jalen]

I think I was actually shocked that I prepared for Josh to, like, be fully ready to take accountability. And when he fired back at me about something just like, clearly obvious I was about, he. He just acted like he'd never lied in our marriage. And he was like, like, are you going to give me examples? And I was just like, whoa. I thought you were going to be prepared that I would. I'm about to give you like, five. So what? I wasn't prepared for him to just kind of be so defensive and come at me. Like, I thought he would be a little more accountable of his actions.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Do you both feel like you have closure?

[Belinda]

Oh, yeah, I feel like I didn't. I mean I, I'm the type of person I, I don't feel like I ever need it. Like I feel like I'm at peace with myself. Like it, it didn't work. It is because he's not my person. Yeah, that's a no brainer. It's easy. That' So I never really felt like I needed closure. For me, it was more like, ah, the end.

[Jalen]

You know, I think I spent the last three months giving myself closure. Like, hey, he was clearly avoidant. He never gave me a chance to communicate. So that was healing enough for me. And just seeing the way he came to the reunion, like, that was like. Yeah, I'm glad.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

With that energy, that's not good.

[Jalen]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

So what is next for the two of you?

[Jalen]

You? I'm, I'm excited for what's next. I'm not sure. I mean I, I feel like I'm definitely ready to step into the dating pool again. I'm back on the streets. But I feel excited just because I know that I can trust my, my gut all the time and, and that there's somebody out there. Like if I had what I thought was a great marriage for a decent time and that was just me immersing myself in his world, then how much more fun is it going to be to be married to someone who we.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Share that that's going to be so good for you when you find that. Because that is what like I believe like relationship is about is. Like it's give and take and you don't have to love everything that your partner loves and they don't have to love everything. But you have. There has to be give and take. And I just felt like you gave and gave and gave. So I'm excited for you to receive and have some fun.

[Jalen]

Thank you. Do your thing.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

What about you?

[Belinda]

I'm excited. One to see where this new relationship goes.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yes.

[Belinda]

Once everything is said and done and over with the show and really just I think with 2026 coming around, like picking up on those girls trips again is like something that I really want to start putting together again for next year in 2020. I want to say 2025, we only got to do one. So my goal is to do more in the year. So I'm hoping that, that I can get that done.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Fun.

[Belinda]

Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

It sounds like you guys are still so like happy and optimistic.

[Jalen]

Yeah, I think that that's our best personality trait is keep on going and, you know, this was a great experience. I learned a lot. You learned a lot. But there's only more better experiences to come, and that gives me hope for sure.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Yeah.

[Belinda]

I think the biggest thing for us is, like, if you live with gratitude, then you only can be optimistic. You know, it's hard to have gratitude and. And be negative, you know, I mean, so, so true. So, yeah, I just feel like that's just the way to go. Yeah.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Oh, my gosh, you guys, I love this duo. I love this relationship, and I'm gonna be a girl mom soon. And I just, like, love, like, I just love adult mom and daughter relationships. Like, my favorite thing. And so I'm really grateful that you guys stopped by. I know you had a long night, and we've had a long few weeks, but I'm really grateful that you guys have stopped by. What's the Reality? To give us the tea.

[Jalen]

Yeah. Thanks for having us.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Of course, you guys are welcome here anytime.

[Belinda]

Thank you.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Thank you guys for joining us for another episode of what's the Reality? Be sure to follow us on all social platforms at what's the Reality? Pod and I will see you next Wednesday.

[Belinda]

Bye.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

What's the Reality? What's the reality?

[Jalen]

Hey there.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

It's Katie Nolan, host of Casuals, the sports podcast where we don't care how much you know about sports. We're just happy that you're here. Every week, I hang out with some of my good friends to discuss the biggest stories across sports and entertainment, but.

[Jalen]

In a way that's, like, fun and not boring.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

Want to know Sue Bird's favorite Diana Taurasi story? Or how heavy the Larry o' Brien trophy is? Or even what baseball team is right for you based on your moon sign we got you.

[Jalen]

Listen to Casuals every Tuesday and Thursday.

[Host (Katie Nolan)]

On the SiriusXM app or wherever you get your podcasts. Bye.

[Belinda]

Holiday PSA from DSW. This is your reminder that shoes are a gift. Literally. So unwrap something good, like boots that inspire your next big adventure, or cozy slippers that give you an excuse to stay in, or sneakers that feel like pure joy.

[Jalen]

Because shoes aren't just shoes.

[Belinda]

Shoes, they're exactly what you wanted. Let us surprise you so you can surprise them. Find shoes that get you and everyone on your list at prices that get your budget at DSW stores or dsw dot com.