Pastor Cal’s Shocking Exit From Married at First Sight

Summary

What's the Reality? — Pastor Cal’s Shocking Exit From Married at First Sight

Podcast: What’s the Reality?
Host: Amber Desiree (AD)
Guest: Pastor Cal Roberson
Date: January 7, 2026
Episode Theme: Pastor Cal reveals his journey on "Married at First Sight," discusses relationship lessons, reflects on memorable moments, and announces his departure as an expert from the show.

---

Episode Overview

This episode features Pastor Calvin Roberson, a beloved relationship and marriage expert from "Married at First Sight." Host Amber Desiree dives into Pastor Cal's career on the series, explores his perspectives on faith, marriage, behind-the-scenes matchmaking, and his own marriage. The episode culminates in a bombshell reveal: Pastor Cal, alongside Dr. Pepper and Dr. Pia, is stepping down from "Married at First Sight" as the show introduces new experts. Through frank discussion, storytelling, and plenty of wisdom, Pastor Cal gives listeners an open look at the realities of both television and real-world relationships.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Pastor Cal’s Introduction to "Married at First Sight"

• How he joined the show:
  • Pastor Cal and his wife were initially approached by a casting agent for another show, "Seven Year Switch," which led to an appearance on "Married at First Sight." His straightforward advice and marital expertise impressed producers.

    “We had a meeting, and they asked me what I felt about the show and how would I change things and what would I do? ...I gave them some very straightforward advice, some of my opinions, and they liked it. So they asked me to be a part of the show. And the rest is history.” – Pastor Cal [03:10]

Working with His Wife, Wendy

• Their dynamic and backstory:
  • Both are remarried after previous marriages and have committed to helping other couples avoid similar pitfalls. Wendy brings a nursing background and a unique perspective to their counseling practice.

    “We decided that we're going to do everything within our power. So we started talking to couples. And...here we are now...about 16 years, we've been doing this.” – Pastor Cal [05:24]

  • On their whirlwind romance:

    “From the time we met, six months later, we were married. And it's probably the best decision either of us have ever made.” – Pastor Cal [07:41]

Faith and Relationship Counseling

• Faith as a foundation, but not a barrier:
  • Pastor Cal emphasizes his approach of using the principles of love inspired by the Bible without being overtly religious or alienating.

    “I want people to see that you don’t have to be religiously offensive, you know, just because you’re a person of faith. ...The one thread that runs through...all that we believe is love.” – Pastor Cal [09:32]

  • AD responds with appreciation for this inclusive approach.

    “Use what we know as a tool and bring people in with it rather than using it against people and scaring.” – AD [10:06]

His Book and App: Marriage Ain’t for Punks

• Purpose of the book:
  • Draws on 20+ years of relationship experience, teaching practical and foundational principles of love and commitment.

    “I want them to know about the principle of [love], that love is an intellectual commitment we make to fulfill another person’s legitimate needs. ...Happiness is not the goal of marriage. It’s just not.” – Pastor Cal [11:27]

• About the app:
  • Companion to the book, the app supports singles, couples, and marrieds, providing resources and community.

    “We’ve rebranded it from Marriage Ain't for Punks to MAPS, which is an acronym for Maturity, Accountability, Pursuit of life and love, and Surrender.” – Pastor Cal [14:19]

Behind the Scenes: "Married at First Sight"

• Matchmaking process:
  • The selection is rigorous with psychological testing, home visits, and vetting; not random or purely for TV drama.

    “What they don't get to see...is that it's grueling to even become a candidate...we give them psychological evaluations, they get health evaluations, then we visit their homes…” – Pastor Cal [20:51]

• Impact of social media and the changing landscape:
  • Social media is now an integral part of participants’ vetting and affects the process.

    “People are now more influenced by social media influencers than they are by...counselors and coaches...” – Pastor Cal [19:11]

• Memorable missteps in matchmaking:
  • Regrets about certain pairings, especially the Denver season and Chris & Paige in Atlanta.

    “I said the entire season of Denver. Oh God. Probably the entire season. Yeah. That was just...that just did...oh God, that was just a bad season.” – Pastor Cal [22:43]

Personal Takeaways for Marriage & Advice

• Key lessons from the show:
  • Importance of communication and “rushing to reconcile” after disagreements.

    “Rush to reconcile. Don’t allow yourself to let disagreements fester...We have a rule...nobody gives up the bed. Sleeping on the couch—absolutely not.” – Pastor Cal [24:07]

  • The healing power of touch during conflict.

    “When you’re your angriest, force yourself to touch your partner...because when you do that, you start breaking down barriers.” – Pastor Cal [25:46]

Most Memorable Moments (Good & Bad)

• Runaway bride (Denver),
• Bride stopped by TSA (Texas) for an outstanding warrant

  “On the honeymoon, on the way to the honeymoon, what?...TSA go to jail...” – Pastor Cal [30:53]

• Success stories and ongoing relationships:
  • Jephte & Shawneese (Boston), Brianna & Vinnie, Anthony & Ashley (Chicago) highlighted as examples of couples who found lasting happiness and kept in touch.

    “Those are the things...I say, wow, this show is really...cool...How many people have been...their marriages have been just, just completely benefited...” – Pastor Cal [31:14]

---

Season 19 and Shocking Updates

Mother-Daughter Match: Jalen and Belinda

• How it came about:
  • A spontaneous decision during casting:

    “I talked to her mom, and while I was on the phone, I was like, wow, she’s like a replica of her daughter…We found a match for her…and so that’s how that came about.” – Pastor Cal [33:06]

• Positive example of family openness and support.
  • Both AD and Pastor Cal praise their dynamic.

Season 19’s Outcome: No Couples Stayed Together

• Pastor Cal’s reaction:

  “I’m very surprised that Megan and Derek...didn’t make it. ...They could have used that as a bonding tool, but...the pain became too much...instead of turning to each other, they turned against each other.” – Pastor Cal [35:42]

• Comment on post-show dynamics:
  • Sometimes cast gets distracted by TV fame; losing sight of marriage as the real goal.

    “Once they get on TV and...they can get better now...anybody who you date, they have like a manual right to determine the kind of person you are, stay with who you are matched with.” – Pastor Cal [37:54]

---

The Big Reveal: Pastor Cal’s Exit

Passing the Torch (39:25)

• Announcement:
  • Pastor Cal, Dr. Pepper, and Dr. Pia are stepping down, and new experts will be joining "Married at First Sight" as it moves to Peacock.

    “...We’re actually at a point where we’re passing the torch to new experts now that we’re on Peacock...I’m on to some bigger and better things, but I wish the new experts the best.” – Pastor Cal [39:27]

  • “They won’t be me, but they will be.” – Pastor Cal, with a laugh [40:20]

What’s Next for Pastor Cal?

• Developing his own TV show:
  • "Marriage Ain’t for Punks" being optioned for TV.
  • Plans to move behind the camera, developing new projects:

    “My plan is to go from front to back of camera. So that’s exciting.” – Pastor Cal [40:47]

---

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “We had a meeting, and they asked me what I felt about the show...I gave them some very straightforward advice, some of my opinions, and they liked it. So they asked me to be a part of the show. And the rest is history.” — Pastor Cal [03:10]
• “From the time we met, six months later, we were married. And it’s probably the best decision, I think, either of us have ever made.” — Pastor Cal [07:41]
• “The one thread that runs through the fabric of all that we believe is love, you know. And I believe firmly...if I could present love in a way where people can not only see it, but it becomes palpable…then I believe I’ve done my job.” — Pastor Cal [09:32]
• “Happiness is not the goal of marriage. It’s just not. Happiness is a result of whatever your goal is in marriage.” — Pastor Cal [12:20]
• “We have a rule...nobody gives up the bed. Sleeping on the couch—absolutely not. Nobody does. No, we don’t do that. That’s insane. No, you reconcile. You heal by being together.” — Pastor Cal [25:01]
• “Those are the things...I say, wow, this show is really, really, really cool. And it’s really been such a benefit...” — Pastor Cal [31:14]
• “We’re actually at a point where we’re passing the torch to new experts now that we’re on Peacock...I’m on to some bigger and better things, but I wish the new experts the best.” — Pastor Cal [39:27]
• “My book, Marriage Ain’t for Punks, is being optioned for a TV show...My plan is to go from front to backup camera. So that’s exciting.” — Pastor Cal [40:24]

---

Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:10 | Pastor Cal introduced; backstory on joining MAFS | | 04:00 | Discussing working with wife Wendy | | 08:17 | How faith influences counseling | | 10:38 | About "Marriage Ain’t for Punks" book and app | | 15:27 | Origin story of joining MAFS and focus on genuine marriages | | 19:11 | Social media and show evolution | | 20:51 | The real matchmaking process | | 22:33 | Regrettable pairings; Denver season, Chris & Paige | | 24:07 | Marriage lessons: rush to reconcile, don’t sleep on couch, power of touch | | 30:20 | Memorable moments: runaway bride, TSA arrest, couple success stories | | 32:44 | Season 19: Mother-daughter casting, all couples separating | | 35:42 | Reflections on why some couples didn’t last | | 39:25 | Pastor Cal announces departure and new experts coming to MAFS, upcoming projects revealed |

---

Tone and Takeaways

The episode is open, candid, and sprinkled with Pastor Cal’s signature blend of humor, wisdom, and authenticity. Listeners get a rare peek at the delicate balance between reality TV production and heartfelt efforts to help real couples, as well as Pastor Cal’s personal and professional philosophies about love, commitment, and growth.

For fans and newcomers alike, the main takeaways are:

• Marriage requires intentional effort, open communication, and a commitment to support one another—televised or not.
• The vetting and matching process on MAFS is thorough and genuinely aimed at success, despite occasional high-profile mismatches.
• Social media and fame can be pitfalls in modern relationships, on and off reality TV.
• Passing the torch: After 16 seasons, Pastor Cal is leaving MAFS, but continues his mission through new ventures.

---

Episode Summary Prepared by Podcast Summarizer AI

Transcript

[Commercial Narrator]

This Valentine's Day, dim the lights and discover a deeper kind of connection. Ky, yours and mine. Lubricant invites you into a world of tingling delights for you and warming sensations for them. A combination that ignites every touch. Get ready for an adventure into next level intimacy that leaves you both wanting more. Find out why KY is the number one lubricant brand and then find out again. If you know, you know. Visit ky.com to learn more. Use product as directed. When I need to impress someone with a gift, I go straight to 1-800-FLOWERS. There's a reason they've spent 50 years as the floral authority. Every stem is hand selected by a vetted florist and with same day delivery nationwide, 100% satisfaction guaranteed. That's why millions go to 1-800-flowers to celebrate life's most important moments. Order now for up to 40% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. Act now and save up to 40% at 1-800-flowers.com sxm. That's 1-800-flowers. Com sxm.

[Host (Ad)]

What's the reality? What's the reality? Hello, friends, and welcome back to what's the reality? It's your girl ad and y'.

[Co-Host/Interjector]

All.

[Host (Ad)]

I cannot wait to talk to today's guest. You will recognize him as one of the incredible experts from Married at First Sight. He's a relationship and marriage counselor who always keeps it real and brings so much wisdom to the show. Please help me welcome the amazing Pastor Cal to the podcast. Hey. Hi, Pastor Cal. I'm so excited to talk to you.

[Pastor Cal]

Oh, it is my pleasure. My pleasure.

[Host (Ad)]

Thank you for joining. So how are you?

[Pastor Cal]

I'm great. You know, I'm great. You know, look, I have nothing to complain about because, I mean, who wants to hear complaints, you know?

[Host (Ad)]

Okay, so let's just, let's jump into things. So season 19 of married at first sight just aired 19 seasons is insane. How did you first get involved with the show?

[Pastor Cal]

Sixteen seasons ago, my wife and I had been doing marriage coaching and we had been doing conferences and online coaching and just a lot of stuff we've been doing practically our whole marriage. And we were actually contacted by a casting agent who wanted us to find a couple for one of their other shows. Kinetic Content is the producer, the production company. They want us to find a. A couple for one of their other shows way back in the day called Seven Year Switch. So we found them a couple and they, they loved the couple. But while the couple was on the show, they kept talking about us and well, you know, they would say, you know, that's not what Pastor Cal said. That's not what he said. So, you know, the more we talk, they wanted to talk with us and film us in a session with that couple. So while we were doing that, they were texting the EP and the cameraman was texting the EP and the showrunner was texting, texting Chris, Colin. And it was just a lot going on, saying, you got to hear this guy. You got to really listen to this couple. So we had a meeting, and they asked me what I felt about the show and how would I change things and what would I do? And I gave them some very straightforward advice, some of my opinions, and they liked it. So they asked me to be a part of the show. And the rest is history.

[Host (Ad)]

The rest is history. That is amazing. And you have been such a staple on the show. Your presence is so needed there. Like you are when I think. Experts, expert. I'm like Pastor Cal expert.

[Pastor Cal]

Aw, yes. So much coming from you. That's quite a compliment.

[Host (Ad)]

Oh, please. Let's talk about your wife, Wendy. The two of you work together as a team. What is that like? And how do you and Wendy like helping out couples?

[Pastor Cal]

Oh, yeah. Well, you know what, it's funny because Wendy and I, we're both second timers. We tell people that, you know, openly and honestly, you know, we. We made some very stupid mistakes. Well, we didn't. But, you know, our marriages were mistakes the first time around. We got married very dumb and very, very, very young. And, you know, those didn't work. But we found each other about 18 years ago, and we've been married for 17 years now. And at the beginning of our marriage, we decided that we're going to make sure that we do what's necessary to help couples avoid some of the pitfalls of marriage, you know, of some of the pitfalls you can fall into and some of the issues that can arise just out of bad decisions, you know, and we feel that we both actually came from environments that were not healthy. And so we decided that we're going to do everything within our power. So we started talking to couples. And as we talked to couples, it got better and better, and then it grew and grew. And before we know it, here we are now, you know, roughly about 17, maybe about 16 years, we've been doing this. You know, I was doing. I was a marriage counselor long before her as a pastoral counselor. But her with a nursing background, she came aboard, and it's been incredible. She brings a different perspective. She Brings. When we talk to couples, you know, outside of the show, whatever. When we talk to couples individually, it's always great because she brings a perspective that I can't see quite often. You know, she, she, she sees, she sees a different side of things. And, and it's always, it's just always good because people that were couples that we're talking to, they love it because it's not just a guy's point of view or just, you know, it's, it's. It's our point of view. And so when she brings her. Her very straightforward opinions and, and, and, and understanding marriage, it's. It's actually quite awesome. So I'm, I'm really happy and blessed to, you know, have her as my, my co conspirator in this thing.

[Host (Ad)]

That's beautiful. Wendy shared on social media that you two met and got married within six months. How did you know so quickly that she was the one?

[Pastor Cal]

You know what? Like I said, you know, we, we. We've been. This wasn't our first rodeo.

[Commercial Narrator]

Yeah.

[Pastor Cal]

So I was like, you know, she rejected me. She probably didn't say this, but she rejected me first. Okay. I stepped to her, you know, and I'm like, look, a mutual friend introduced us, and I stepped to her, and I was like, okay, okay, this is good. And so I didn't get her number at that time, but I contacted the friend and got her number later. Well, you know, we were talking, and she said, well, look, I just want to be friends, you know, I mean, she'd only been divorced a couple years, and I'd been about eight or about nine years, but. But she said, we could just be friends. And I said, friends? I'm not. Don't use the F word. I'm not looking for a friend. And so she said, well, look, that's all I have. And I told her this, and I'm not making this up. I said, you know what your problem is? She reminds me now that's the wrong thing to say when you get to know somebody. But she said. I said, you know what your problem is? You like me, but you don't want to admit it. And she was like. So that was it. We hung up and didn't talk for weeks. And then I called her back and she said, hey, what happened to you, stranger? Yeah, I thought you kicked me to the curb. But I said, wait a minute. I thought you just wanted to be friends. Friends don't talk every day. You do.

[Host (Ad)]

Like, gotcha, Gotcha.

[Pastor Cal]

And so we never stopped talking a day since that. Since that time? Yeah. From the time we met. Six months later, we were married. And it's probably the best decision, I think, that either of us have ever made.

[Host (Ad)]

That's beautiful. How do we get you on Perfect Match? Are you familiar with Perfect Match? How I met my husband?

[Pastor Cal]

I'm familiar with it. Talk to the producers. I'd love to. I think it's a great. It's really cool.

[Host (Ad)]

That would be. That would. That would change the whole game. So let's talk a little bit about your faith and how it influences your approach with relationships counseling.

[Pastor Cal]

Yeah. Yeah. My faith is really important to me. And the beautiful thing about it is that I. I try not to. And I think I'm, you know, you know, relatively successful at it. I try not to bring my religious beliefs into it, even though I do believe that my faith is the foundation of all that I do. And so when I talk to people about love, I mean, a lot of it is. Is these are principles that I've learned from. From. From the Bible, you know, a lot of them. You know, it's like, love is kind, love is patient, love is not boastful. You know, love considers the other person first. You know, love doesn't keep a record of wrongdoing. You know, these are just really great principles, and I use. As I repackage them, but I use these principles, you know, when I'm talking about love, when I'm talking about commitment, when we're talking about family. So, you know, it's a big part of all that we do. And I want people to see that. You don't have to be religiously offensive, you know, just because you're a person of faith.

[Commercial Narrator]

Right.

[Pastor Cal]

You don't have to drive people away with your religiosity. You don't have to drive people away with your. With that. That's. That's not how. That's not how this thing is supposed to work. You're supposed to draw people with it. And the one thread that runs through the fabric of all that we believe is love, you know, And I believe firmly, though, that if I. If I could present love in a way where. Where people can not only see it, but it becomes palpable. You can. You can get a picture of it. You can know what it looks like. Then. Then I believe I've done my job.

[Co-Host/Interjector]

Yeah.

[Pastor Cal]

You know, I've done my job.

[Host (Ad)]

So I think that's beautiful. I think that's so true. Like, use what we know as a tool and bring people in with it rather than using it against people and scaring.

[Pastor Cal]

Absolutely.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Pastor Cal]

Don't we have enough of that in our society already? We have so much division and so much sectarianism and just people going into their own little silos and looking at other people as though they are. There's something wrong with them because they don't believe what you believe.

[Host (Ad)]

Right.

[Pastor Cal]

It's too much.

[Host (Ad)]

So is that gonna be a little bit of things that we might find in your book that you wrote called Marriage Ain't for Punks? First of all, what made you write this book and what is it about? I love the title.

[Pastor Cal]

Marriage Ain't for Punks. Marriage Ain't for Punks.

[Host (Ad)]

It ain't.

[Pastor Cal]

Is. Is a. Yeah, you know, it ain't. Marriage is. The book is a. A collection of the last 20 or so years of relationship experience. And we poured just about everything into this book. And it's, you know, as we often say, it's not just for read, it's for study. And the whole idea behind it is to make sure that we look at marriage and give people something that's practical that they can walk away with. I don't want people to just feel good. I want them to know what love is. I don't want them to think about just the feeling of love. I want them to know about the principle of it, that love is an intellectual commitment we make to fulfill another person's legitimate needs. It's not just about feeling good, you know, it's not just about being happy. Happiness is not the goal of marriage. It's just not. You know, it's not. Happiness is a result of whatever your goal is in marriage. For my wife and I, our goal is to make sure that other couples get the tools and resources necessary to better their lives and to become the people that they believe they could be and that they can influence not only their families, but society in general. And that is the goal of marriage. And then you get happy as you hit those goals. But when people say happiness is the goal, get out of here. The fact of the matter is, if happiness is the goal, then if I'm happy, I love you. If I'm not happy, I don't love you. Or if I'm happy, hey, we're good. Happiness cannot be measured. Goals are measurable. Happiness is not all that's in here. We talk about communication. We talk about, you know, we even talk about how to get out of a relationship that's just not working, you know, which I believe is so important. And so I let people know that the book is not just for married people. Even though the title might give you that idea. The book is for anyone who has any kind of interest in relationships, regardless of what the relationship is.

[Host (Ad)]

That is amazing. I would like a signed copy sent to my place, please. Thank you.

[Pastor Cal]

You got it, you got it. I would love to. Absolutely.

[Co-Host/Interjector]

Yes.

[Host (Ad)]

There's also a Marriage Ain't for Punks app. Can you walk us through that app?

[Pastor Cal]

Yeah. The Marriage Ain't for Punks app is one we launched in actually 2023, I think we launched the. We launched the. We started the company, and then we launched the app. I think it was 24. It may have been, but the app is actually a companion to everything else that we're doing. It's designed to speak to relationships at different levels, whether it's marriage, dating, or single and not in a relationship. In fact, when you log into the app, you have a choice to either join it as a single person, as a person in a relationship, or as a married person. So there are three different levels to the app, and the whole idea is to provide resources and to provide a community and just so many avenues for you to find out how to make your marriage better and as a result, in companionship. With that, we also have our marriage portal, which is Maps forreal or marriageainforpunks.com. we've sort of rebranded it from Marriage Angel Punks to Maps Maps, which is an acronym for maturity, accountability, pursuit of life and love and surrender. So the idea here is that we want people to grow in all those different areas, grow in their maturity, grow and learn accountability, learn how to pursue life, pursue your goals and pursue your love, and learn how to be humble and submissive and surrender also to your partner. So that's where we are. So it'[e-mail] or maps fourreal.com and the app you can find on all of the platforms on iOS and Apple.

[Host (Ad)]

Oh, that's amazing.

[Pastor Cal]

IOS and Google, right?

[Host (Ad)]

I'm gonna go home and download that and be like, honey, I got something for us.

[Pastor Cal]

I love it, I love it, I love it.

[Host (Ad)]

Amazing. Okay, let's take a look into your Married at First Sight career before we get into this new season. You touched on it a little bit, but you've been an expert on Married at first sight since 2016, when you joined the show in season four. What first drew you into this unique style social experiment?

[Pastor Cal]

A conversation I had with the CEO of the production company, Chris Colin, who's just a great guy. And when they had approached me about wasn't something that I was looking for because I never, I didn't even. TV is not something that I ever even was thinking about ever doing. But when I talked to Chris about it, I asked him, I said, okay, are you guys serious about marriage? Are you serious about making marriages work? Or is this just some sensational thing?

[Host (Ad)]

Right?

[Pastor Cal]

Because if it is, I, I didn't want to be a part of it. But Chris told me at that point, he said, look, man, I've been married for 13 years. I, I want this to be something where people can learn and they can come away and say, wow, thank you for that, and we believe you could be a part of it. And I said, okay, great. Well, then let's do it. And I thought it would last for maybe one season or maybe to 16. So what drew me into it is that it's real.

[Quince Brand Spokesperson 1]

Starting the year with a wardrobe refresh. Quince has you covered with luxe essentials that feel effortless and look polished.

[Quince Brand Spokesperson 2]

They're perfect for layering, mixing, and building a wardrobe that lasts. Their versatile style makes it easy to reach for them every single day.

[Quince Brand Spokesperson 1]

From soft Mongolian cashmere sweet sweaters that feel like designer pieces without the markup to 100 silk tops and skirts for easy dressing up to perfectly cut denim.

[Quince Brand Spokesperson 2]

For everyday wear, their wardrobe essentials are crafted last season after season.

[Quince Brand Spokesperson 1]

You guys, Blake and I just got some great pieces from Quince that we are obsessed with. I'm loving my cotton cashmere cardigan and Mongolian cashmere crew neck sweater. It's literally my go to. I throw it on for layering, especially during these light winter months. They're soft, flattering, and perfect for every day. I literally just throw it on and feel soap together without trying too hard. These pieces honestly feel like one of those staples you just reach for every single day.

[Quince Brand Spokesperson 2]

Totally. And I'm loving my 100 Yak wool crewneck sweater. Honestly, I don't even know what that is, but I absolutely love it. Quince has got everything. The quality is unreal. It's incredibly soft, looks polished like G said and works for everything from running errands to dressing it up a bit.

[Quince Brand Spokesperson 1]

It and I don't have to worry about what he's wearing anymore. Refresh your wardrobe with quints.

[Host (Ad)]

Don't wait.

[Quince Brand Spokesperson 2]

Go to quints.com WTR for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.

[Quince Brand Spokesperson 1]

That's right now available in Canada, too. That's Q U I n c-e.com WTR to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com WTR.

[Commercial Narrator]

VRBO makes it easy to claim your dream summer spot with early booking deals. From homes with pools to poolside loungers. When you book a vrbo, you don't have to reserve any loungers. They're all yours. Get that early booking [e-mail] even though.

[Pastor Cal]

We'Ve been accused of fabricating and prepping people, what you see is real, right? I mean, the decisions they make, the craziness is, you know, this, I know this is all real stuff, you know, so it's, it's, it's, it's. I loved, I love to see the, the evolution of people. I love to see people the, the aha. Moments where the lights come on. They're like, oh, wow. Or even if their relationship doesn't work, I love to see when they have pivoted or turned a corner in their own personal development and they realize, you know what, I have to get this together. I have to make this right if I'm ever going to be in a healthy relationship. So there's so many positive things about the show and about the experience that I love.

[Host (Ad)]

That is so cool. How different is the show now compared to when you first started?

[Pastor Cal]

Oh, wow. First of all, the, the, the evolution of social media, you know, when we first started, it wasn't, you know, and it seems crazy because it was only in 2016, 15, 16, but it's crazy because we had social media back then, but it was not as pervasive as it is now. And so just the, just that it's so ingrained in our society now. Like now, for instance, when we match people, we have to make sure that their social media is clean. We have to tell them, look, go through it, clean it up, get all that crap off of it, you know, make sure that, you know, and people are now more influenced by social media influencers than they are by, you know, counselors and coaches and whatever. You know, everybody's a coach now. Everybody who's got over a, you know, a hundred thousand followers and get a rich. This is how you make marriage work. Yeah. Dude, where's your wife?

[Commercial Narrator]

Right?

[Pastor Cal]

You know, really, I'm not calling out no names, but I can think of some people, you know, who, you know, touting themselves as relationship, whatever. Yeah, your marriage is non existent. Yeah. So, but anyway, there's been a lot of changes though, since we first started and I think some of them are good. Even now with AI and such. It, it is. I've just seen so much happen through the eyes of, through the eyes of the show, that it's. It's been phenomenal. But I'm looking forward to. To it even getting better. Yeah.

[Host (Ad)]

Actually, can you break down the matchmaking process a little bit? Like, what is it that the viewers don't get to see?

[Pastor Cal]

Yeah, what they don't get to see, number one, is that it's grueling to even become a candidate. You have to fill out a questionnaire online or something like that. And then once you do that, our casting agents go through it, then they take out people who may have young children, because we don't do that. If you got young kids. Or take out people who may be looking for something that's just completely outlandish or people who are trying to get on tv, we don't like that. And then once we've narrowed that down and funneled that down to a few, we come in and we sit and talk with these people and we give them psychological evaluations, they get health evaluations. Then we visit their homes, we talk to their families. You know, it's really in depth. It's quite extensive. And then we pray, you know, and hope that we made the right decision. And by some seasons, you can see. But, but, but generally what people don't know is that it's not random. We do our absolute best to make sure we're choosing the best people who we think will be married and. And will be successful together. And we have. What about. Well, I can't say how many, because I don't want to give away any spoilers for this season, but we have quite a few people who are still married, and we have about 14 babies or something like that.

[Host (Ad)]

The numbers are good.

[Pastor Cal]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[Co-Host/Interjector]

Yeah.

[Host (Ad)]

Were there any pairings that you wish you could have stepped in and reevaluated once filming started?

[Pastor Cal]

Yeah. Yeah, boy. Yes. I would probably say.

[Host (Ad)]

Are you doing names?

[Pastor Cal]

I said the entire season of Denver. Oh, God. Probably the entire season. Yeah. That was just. That just did. Oh, God, that was just a bad season. But I would say outside of them, they're an outlier. I'm not going to bring them in. Love you, Denver. But I think probably Chris and Paige in Atlanta. Yeah, we were blindsided terribly on that one. And there are some other doozies back that I wish I could have reworked. Amber and this tall basketball player dude that we got her with. Geez, what a disaster. But, you know, but we tried and, you know, we. Sometimes we can only go on what people tell us. So if you. And, you know, it's like it's easy to fool somebody if you're, if you're accustomed to lying, you know what I mean? If that, if that's just a part of who you are.

[Commercial Narrator]

Right, right.

[Pastor Cal]

Then here we come. We're like, oh, wow, okay, well, he's convinced all of us. That's because that's what he does.

[Host (Ad)]

Right? Right. Yeah. What has being an expert on Married at first sight taught you about marriage? And is there anything that you take from the show and apply to your own marriage?

[Pastor Cal]

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. It's taught me a lot. It's taught me that, you know, for as unpredictable as marriage is, nine times out of ten you can find a solution through listening. A lot of what we implement in the show, these are things not only that I've taught, but things that I do. For instance, you know, as I tell people, rush to reconcile. You know, don't allow yourself to let disagreements fester. You know, it makes no difference who's the first person to, to recognize it. Whenever there's a disagreement, you rush to make sure you do whatever is possible to discuss the thing. I mean, some people say, well, we're just going to take space, we're just going to take some time. No, I do not believe in that. I just don't. I believe that if you're, if you're, if you're heated, if you're really, really hot, okay, fine, you take a few minutes, but tell your partner, listen, we'll be back. I'm, I'm going to take 20 minutes. I'm going to take 30 minutes. Only 30. And let's say, let's, let's come back together at 6:00 clock and talk some more about it, that's fine. But for people who, to say, you know, we're going to take some time. No, we're going to stay in separate. No, no. We have a rule, and this has become a rule since the show. In my own home, nobody gives up the bed. Sleeping on the couch. Absolutely not. Nobody does. No, we don't do that. That's insane. No, you reconcile. You heal by being together. You don't heal by being apart.

[Host (Ad)]

Do you just go to opposite sides of the beds? Maybe we're just not going to cuddle tonight.

[Pastor Cal]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. You do the east and west thing, you do that, but no, you never surrender. Take a break, that's fine. Go to opposite sides, that's cool. But you never surrender. And the only other thing I could think of is, and Dr. Pepper taught me this is the power of touch. When you're your angriest. Force yourself to touch your partner, even though they may not want it, but somewhere way down in your psyche, you really do want it. But you just like, no, don't touch me. But you touch anyway, and I'm okay. So it's like, force yourself to touch, because when you do that, you start breaking down barriers. You're creating closeness, and it might be weird, it might be awkward, but just force yourself to do that, and it helps so much. So that's another thing.

[Host (Ad)]

I'm loving that I'm taking so many mental notes. I'm taking all of this home with me today. I'm like, I'm not gonna put you on the couch anymore, maybe. No, we haven't gotten there yet. We haven't gotten there yet.

[Pastor Cal]

No couches. Couches are for sitting and watching tv.

[Host (Ad)]

Noted, Noted. He's gonna love that. He doesn't spend a lot of time on the couch, by the way.

[Pastor Cal]

Good.

[Host (Ad)]

By the way. So what do you love most about Married at First sight, outside of the cast?

[Pastor Cal]

I think what I love most are the people that I work with. Also, one of the things, executive producers are really genuine people, and I think that that's what makes a good show, the fact that the people behind the scenes are committed. They root for the couples. It's amazing. And this is what the viewers don't see. It's amazing how often a producer will be, you know, just. Just in the background, just say, oh, my God, what? They'll come to Pascal, what can I do? What can we say to them? Because we really want them to, you know, and it's. It's that whole energy that happens behind the scenes. It's. It's. It's so affirming, you know, and it's so great because everybody wants success. Yeah. And that's why when people tell me, like, you know, well, look, no, you guys are planning this. No, that's not this. That's not this show. This show is actually looking for success. We love it when a couple succeeds. So that's one thing that I really like is the whole village behind the production is so affirming. And also the other thing that I really love about the show is that you get a chance. You get a chance to look into someone else's marriage and actually pull out things that relate to you and say, wow, we're going through that very same thing. Let me see how they work that out. And I've gotten so many emails, so many DMs, from people who have said, thank you so much for that. That really. Wow. We were going through the same thing and I just so appreciate that. You know, you guys helped me through that. I mean it's amazing. It's amazing how many people have been literally their marriages have been just, just completely benefited from just watching the show.

[Host (Ad)]

No, I can imagine how healing it could be for couples watching and the free counseling that they get from you too.

[Pastor Cal]

Yeah, exactly. Well, that helps. Yeah.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah, that helps. What are some of your top most memorable moments, good or bad, from the past 10 years?

[Commercial Narrator]

Save over $200 when you book weekly stays with Vrbo this winter. If you need to work, why not work from a chalet? If you haven't seen your college besties since, well, college, you need a week to fully catch up in a snowy cabin. And if you have to stay in a remote place with your in laws, you should save over $200 a week. That's the least we can do. So you might as well start digging out the long johns because saving over $200 on a week long snowcation rental is in the cards book [e-mail] hi.

[Co-Host/Interjector]

I'm Angie Hicks, co founder of Angie. When you use Angie for your home projects, you know all your jobs will be done well. Roof repair, done well. Kitchen sink install, done well. Deck upgrades, done well. Electrical upgrade, done well. Angie's been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for nearly 30 years. So we know the difference between done and done well. Hire high quality [e-mail].

[Pastor Cal]

Ah. For the past 10 years, the most memorable moments. One, the first one that comes to mind is Runaway Bride in Denver. That was a first. Another one was we had a couple in Texas, I think it was, and she got stopped at TSA because it was a warrant for her arrest.

[Host (Ad)]

No.

[Pastor Cal]

And we were like, what the heck? What did. On the, on the honeymoon, on the way to the honeymoon, what? You know, so TSA go to jail. And we, we've done background checks, we've done background checks. We, we made sure there are no criminal records. But this happened after the background check.

[Host (Ad)]

Oh my gosh.

[Pastor Cal]

So yeah, that was one that was very, very crazy. But some of the more positive things that have happened, I could name a bunch of those. But some of the more positive things that have happened are people like Jefty and Shawneese in Boston. Just seeing them overcome their trials and their challenges to be such a beautiful, thriving family. I love them. I stay with them even now. I mean, we stay in contact. I have so many grand show babies. Brianna And Vinnie, you know, we had, I had. My wife and I had lunch with them a little while back or this summer, and just those two babies they have just so, so beautiful. Oh, Anthony and Ashley in Chicago. They, they. Anthony is such an incredible human being and their children are just so adorable. And so. So those are the things that are. That I look at and I say, wow, this show is really, really, really cool. And it's really been such a benefit and it's cool to kind of, you know, people see you out in public and they'll say, wow, you know, thank you so much for that, or, you know, wow, I really enjoyed this. Someone told me last night, literally, they said, we really take notes. You're doing the show. And that all makes a big difference. So, yeah, those are really great things that we, That I can garner from it.

[Host (Ad)]

Let's now dive into the newest season of Married at First sight.

[Pastor Cal]

Yes.

[Host (Ad)]

Season 19. Let's get into it. Okay.

[Pastor Cal]

Yeah, you listen, let's.

[Host (Ad)]

I really want to know, how do you feel about having a mother and daughter, Jalen and Belinda, on the show for the first time?

[Pastor Cal]

I thought, you know what? I was, I was very nervous about it. I'll be very honest. It wasn't planned. I was actually interviewing Jalen in her home, and what we do often is we'll contact the parents or siblings or. I said, who can I call? They say, well, call my mom. And I talked to her mom, and while I was on the phone, I was like, wow, she's like a replica of her daughter. And so I said, are you single? Or something to that effect and said, yeah. I said, okay, fine. So Jada said, well, she ought to be on the. I said, okay, yeah, yeah. We joked about it, but when we got back to the war room, we found out that, you know, wait a minute, maybe we should consider her because her qualifications and who she was as a person, she was just so stellar. She was just such a stellar person that we, we had to at least consider it. And lo and behold, we found a match for her. And so that's how that came about. But it was a little. It was a little nerve wracking. But they have such a great relationship, a mother and daughter relationship. They talk so openly and so honestly about everything that it. I believe that not only has it been good for their marriages, but I think it's also good for people to see a mother and daughter talk that openly and that honestly. So that's been a real benefit. I think it's really been cool.

[Host (Ad)]

It was really Refreshing to see that relationship because I'm so close with my mom, and my mom is close with all of her daughters, and all of her children are adults now. So being able to see dating in such proximity with your mom and not dating, but marriage and such proximity is like. I couldn't imagine. I would be like, mom, honestly, I love you. I don't wanna hear it, though. But she would support me, and she does support me. But I would be like, listen, mom, wrap it up. I don't wanna hear any of that. But it was refreshing to see that dynamic on the show, and I did get a chance to speak with them, and they are just. That's so beautiful. So wonderful. So. Yes. So they, like you said, replica. I'm like, even, like, looking at them, I'm like, whoa. Listening to them talk and their laughs and their mannerisms, it was just. It was amazing to see. So I could see how Belinda would be a great, great person for anyone. Like, she's just an amazing woman.

[Pastor Cal]

She is. And Jalen's adorable. She's. She's. She's one of my favorites. She's just so. She's so adorable. Yeah.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah. Okay. So we learned at the reunion that unfortunately, none of the couples from season 19 stayed together. What are your thoughts on that? And were there any couples that you were surprised didn't make it?

[Pastor Cal]

Yeah, I'm very surprised that Megan and Derek, that they didn't make it. I think they could have, but I think sometimes people get in their heads too much, especially after going through, you know, traumatic experiences like they have. They could have used that as a bonding tool, but they. I think that the pain became too much for them to bear, and instead of turning to each other, they turned against each other. And couples do that.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Pastor Cal]

But we offer free counseling after each show, and I think that had they taken full advantage, that they probably would have found some more success. Also, Jalen and Josh, such high hopes. Such high hopes. But. And I believe that they are all great people. I still really like them individually, but I think that what happens. And I call it almost like the. The merit at first sight. I don't know if it's a curse or what, but it's almost like sometimes when people get on the show, if they succeed, it's because they have really. It's almost like they have separated themselves from the show. They've separated themselves from. From the TD mindset, and they've really connected to marriage. I talked about Vinnie and Brianna, where they are. They are married, and they see themselves as Married. They're not trying to be TV stars, they're trying to be married. Of course, they use social media, etc, etc, but their focus is marriage. And I think this is what happens quite often, and I can say this sometimes with gentlemen, also with the guys, is I think that once they get on TV and they. I'm just gonna go out on a limb here. I think they get caught up into thinking that they can get better now because they have all this exposure and all this fame, you know?

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah.

[Pastor Cal]

So now I can go out and I can find something better, you know, because now people know me. But what they don't realize is that, dude, your entire marriage is on tv.

[Host (Ad)]

Right. We saw.

[Pastor Cal]

People see. We saw everything. We see the negatives, we see the positives. We see when you were a butthole. We see that. We. We see all of that. And now anybody who you date, they have like a manual right to determine the kind of person you are, stay with who you are matched with. Because it is tough.

[Host (Ad)]

It is.

[Pastor Cal]

After that.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah, it is.

[Pastor Cal]

It's tough. Yeah. But anyway, that's my, That's. That's my answer to that.

[Host (Ad)]

No, it's.

[Pastor Cal]

It's disappointing when couples are not. When they choose not to be together.

[Host (Ad)]

No. I can imagine, like, all that hard work and then watching it is. Because it's the whole show. Films for what, six weeks? Eight weeks?

[Pastor Cal]

Yeah, yeah. You mean the actual filming. Yeah.

[Host (Ad)]

Of the. From when they get married to the decision day.

[Pastor Cal]

Yeah, it's. It's eight weeks. Yeah. Which is about. Which is about three to four months if you include the prep work and, and, and stuff after. Yeah, it's about. About three, four months. Yeah.

[Host (Ad)]

Oh, man.

[Pastor Cal]

I mean, it's a lot.

[Host (Ad)]

That's a lot.

[Pastor Cal]

It's a lot.

[Host (Ad)]

Yeah. Well, Pastor Cal, thank you so much for joining me today. But before we wrap, what's next for you? Is there anything in store for the future besides our book that I'm waiting for my signed copy?

[Pastor Cal]

Yeah, well, one thing that. That's really, really interesting is that, you know, we've been in. I've been in for 16 seasons and Dr. Pepper and Dr. Pia and I. And what's happening right now is we're actually at a point where we're passing the torch to new experts now that we're on Peacock.

[Host (Ad)]

Oh, wow.

[Pastor Cal]

Yes. What does that mean? That means that we are. I'm on to some bigger and better things, but I wish the new experts the best. And we. We are. I think the show is going to be taking on a Different, a different turn. And I think that this is just a part of the, of the evolution of the show. But we're, yeah, we're, we're passing the torch and the new experts will be, be coming on and it. Look, they won't be me, but they will be.

[Host (Ad)]

I know that's right.

[Pastor Cal]

But we have some great things happening. My book, Marriage Ain't for Punks is, is being optioned for a TV show. So we're shopping that now for Marriage Ain't for Punks, the TV series. So that's gonna be exciting. So there's some great things happening. So my plan is to go from front to backup camera. So that's exciting.

[Host (Ad)]

Okay, well, if you need a couple in front of the camera, I know someone that's ready to hop in front. But congratulations on moving on to bigger and different. I'm really excited for you guys.

[Pastor Cal]

Thank you so much. Appreciate it.

[Host (Ad)]

Well, I just want to thank you again so very much for taking the time out to join me on what's the Reality. It has been an absolute pleasure and I'm sure this will not be the last time our paths cross and absolutely not. Yeah, we will make sure of that. Again, my husband is a big fan of yours as well. So I'm sure we'll, we'll make it all, we'll make it work. But thank you again.

[Pastor Cal]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. My best to you and yours.

[Host (Ad)]

Thank you. And thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of what's the Reality? Be sure to follow us on all social platforms at what's the Reality? POD and I will see you next Wednesday. Bye. What's the Reality? What's the Reality?

[Commercial Narrator]

Early birds always rise to the occasion for summer vacation planning because early gets you closer to the action. So don't be late. Book your next vacation early on VRBO and save over $530 on week long stays. Average savings $550. Select homes only minimum 7 days stay required.

[Co-Host/Interjector]

Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co founder of angie. When you use Angie for your home projects, you know all your jobs will be done well. Roof repair, done well. Kitchen sink install, done well. Deck upgrades, done well. Electrical upgrade, done well. Well. Angie's been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for nearly 30 years. So we know the difference between done and done well. Hire high quality [e-mail].