Settle for What?! with Love is Blind S8's Virginia

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Settle for What?! with Love is Blind S8's Virginia"

Episode Overview

In the episode titled "Settle for What?! with Love is Blind S8's Virginia," hosted by And Love Media, listeners are treated to an in-depth conversation with Virginia, a standout contestant from Season 8 of the popular reality TV show Love is Blind. Released on March 19, 2025, this episode delves into Virginia's experiences post-show, her relationship dynamics, the challenges she faced, and the profound insights she gained about love, relationships, and personal growth.

Reunion Reflections and Personal Growth

Virginia opens up about her journey since the reunion of Love is Blind Season 8. Reflecting on the past year, she shares:

"I did a lot of therapy afterwards. Just, like, working on myself. Just a lot of reflection. [02:08]" – Virginia

She emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and personal development following the intense experience of the show and its reunion episodes. Virginia expresses relief at moving past the reunion, allowing her to address lingering feelings and move forward with clarity.

Relationship Dynamics with Devin

A significant portion of the conversation focuses on Virginia's relationship with Devin, her partner from the show. She reveals the complexities that unfolded post-engagement:

"He was answering only for a week, and then he stopped answering my phone calls. But he's continued to hang out with everybody else and told them that I ghosted him. [04:02]" – Virginia

Virginia describes Devin's sudden withdrawal and the challenges of navigating their strained relationship after the cameras stopped rolling. She candidly discusses feeling blindsided by his actions and the impact it had on her trust issues.

Prenuptial Agreement and Financial Transparency

The discussion shifts to the topic of prenuptial agreements, which became a point of contention between Virginia and Devin. She underscores the importance of financial transparency in relationships:

"Financial conversations are super important in relationships, and I don't think that most people have these conversations about bank accounts and what you're going to do. [24:09]" – Virginia

Virginia expresses her belief in the necessity of prenups and highlights how Devin's initial dismissal of the agreement, influenced by his family's opinions, raised red flags for her.

Diversity and Representation on the Show

Virginia addresses the lack of diversity in Love is Blind Season 8, particularly noting the underrepresentation of Black men:

"It's really unfortunate that there wasn't more diversity on the cast. [40:22]" – Virginia

She points out the disconnect between the show's diverse demographics in Minnesota and the predominantly white cast, stressing the importance of authentic representation in reality TV.

Personal Standards and Future Relationships

Reflecting on her experiences, Virginia discusses how her standards and approach to relationships have evolved:

"I'm more attracted to who you are as a person and our vibe and how we communicate and your aspirations and all of that. [42:11]" – Virginia

She elaborates on her decision to no longer settle for relationships that don't align with her core values, emphasizing the importance of intentional dating and mutual respect.

Lessons Learned and Advice for Listeners

Virginia shares valuable insights for listeners navigating their own relationships:

"If we're going to get married, feelings and logic need to match up. [46:03]" – Virginia

She advocates for open communication, setting clear boundaries, and ensuring that both partners share fundamental beliefs and aspirations to build a strong, lasting relationship.

Conclusion

The episode culminates with Virginia expressing gratitude for the opportunity to share her story and the empowerment she feels from advocating for herself:

"I feel like you're in a relationship now that, like, yes, girl. Yes. [19:03]" – Virginia

The host commends Virginia for her vulnerability and strength, highlighting the importance of addressing uncomfortable topics to foster growth and meaningful connections.

Key Takeaways

1. Self-Reflection is Crucial: Post-reality TV experiences can be overwhelming, making personal growth and therapy essential for processing emotions and experiences.

2. Financial Transparency: Open discussions about finances and legal agreements like prenups are vital for healthy relationships.

3. Representation Matters: Diverse casting in reality TV reflects real-world demographics and fosters authentic connections among participants.

4. Setting Standards: Maintaining high personal standards and not settling in relationships leads to more fulfilling and aligned partnerships.

5. Intentional Dating: Combining feelings with logical compatibility ensures stronger, more resilient relationships.

Notable Quotes

• Virginia on Therapy and Growth: "I did a lot of therapy afterwards. Just, like, working on myself. Just a lot of reflection." [02:08]

• Virginia on Devin's Withdrawal: "He was answering only for a week, and then he stopped answering my phone calls." [04:02]

• Virginia on Financial Conversations: "Financial conversations are super important in relationships..." [24:09]

• Virginia on Diversity in Casting: "It's really unfortunate that there wasn't more diversity on the cast." [40:22]

• Virginia on Relationship Standards: "I'm more attracted to who you are as a person and our vibe..." [42:11]

• Virginia on Intentional Dating: "If we're going to get married, feelings and logic need to match up." [46:03]

Final Thoughts

"Settle for What?! with Love is Blind S8's Virginia" offers a candid and heartfelt exploration of the challenges faced by reality TV participants once the spotlight dims. Virginia's honest reflections provide listeners with valuable lessons on love, self-worth, and the importance of authenticity in relationships. Her journey underscores the significance of protecting one's values and remaining steadfast in the pursuit of meaningful and aligned partnerships.

Transcript

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[Podcast Host]

Hey, everyone, and welcome back to what's the Reality? The podcast where we have real unfiltered conversations about love, relationships, personal growth, and of course, pop culture and reality tv. Because what happens on the screen, as we know, is only half of the story, y'all. And today we have to get into Love is Blind season eight, what's the Reality? What's the reality? We are here with Virginia from season eight of Love is Blind, the stunning, beautiful, graceful queen herself.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Thank you so much.

[Podcast Host]

Welcome.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, so the last time I saw your pretty little face, we were at the reunion. Update me. What's new with you, man?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

It's been a whole year. I can't believe it's been a year. I'm happy to be done with the reunion and just, like, address some lingering things. It was a crazy fun experience. I've learned a ton about myself and about what I want and what I don't want.

[Podcast Host]

Come on.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

So it was great.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. Happy to be done with the reunion and, like, move forward.

[Podcast Host]

Tell me what the last year has looked like.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I did a lot of therapy afterwards. Just, like, working on. Yeah. Working on myself. Just a lot of reflection. Yeah. And it went by really quickly, I'll say that. Especially because I did feel like there were things lingering. So it was just kind of in the front of my mind for the whole year. So the reunion was, like, someplace that I felt like I could finally put it down.

[Podcast Host]

So has anything changed since the show's come out? Anything?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Nothing, really. Nothing's changed. You know, everybody has opinions and, like, the rush of opinions and all of that. So dealing with that, but no big changes.

[Podcast Host]

So are you telling me you're not dating? Are you single?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

No, I'm dating a little bit. I think that right now I really want to focus on myself. I watched it back and saw some things that I was like, oh, you cringe. Like, what? I just was wondering if I was, like, kind of shrinking myself a little bit in that relationship. And that was a big. A big thing that I found out about myself through this. I mean, who gets to watch back their experience in that way and kind of get that insight into themselves? Um, so that was a. That was a big deal.

[Podcast Host]

I feel that on a. On a personal level. Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yep.

[Podcast Host]

Um, are you still chatting with any of the girls? Are you close with anybody on cast?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, everybody. All the girls are really close still. Um, I think the brides, like, we went a little bit further in the process, so we were still in group chats and talking about it, and our experience was more similar and how deep we got into it. Um, so I talked to them a lot. I'm also really close with British. A couple other girls, too.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. So you saw Devin at the reunion?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Had you seen or spoken to him prior?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

No. So after the wedding day, he never reached out again.

[Podcast Host]

Who's shocked? Not me.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

So I was reaching out to him. He was answering only for a week, and then he stopped answering my phone calls. But he's continued to hang out with everybody else and told them that I ghosted him. So that's been an interesting thing to navigate, especially before. It was very much like, we're in this together and I love you and we'll be together regardless.

[Podcast Host]

Isn't it crazy how shit changes when the cameras stop rolling?

[Movie Trailer Voiceover]

Yep.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yep.

[Podcast Host]

Girl.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

It was very surprising.

[Podcast Host]

Isn't that a shocker?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yep.

[Podcast Host]

It's because it's very much a team. It's me and you. It's me and you.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yep.

[Podcast Host]

Until it's not.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yep. Yep. So I haven't heard from him at all. I think he played, like, victim a lot at the end and kind of pointed the finger at me. So that's been. It's been hard. I think I already have my guard up in life. Like, I'm already not a person that opens up right when I meet people. So I got really vulnerable through the process and opened up a ton. So the way it ended, I think that, like, it was a little triggering because there goes my trust issues.

[Podcast Host]

Again, a little triggering.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

There goes my trust issues.

[Podcast Host]

I kind of like. I'm not gonna lie, I felt a little bit. I felt two ways about it. I felt very relieved that you said no.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Really?

[Podcast Host]

To be completely honest, I felt very relieved. But I also felt a little bit blindsided because I was like, I thought for sure that you were gonna go.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Up there and be like, yes, I know. I protected Devin a lot. That word.

[Podcast Host]

I protected him so much.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I didn't want to make him look bad in certain ways. And I felt like some things were, like, below the belt, and I didn't want to, you know, embarrass him, but there were things going on. A little dishonesty, a little time out.

[Podcast Host]

Time out. Let's let. I want to start from your journey and then, because it needs to, for me, make sense to why he was so closed off. So let's start from the beginning. Yeah, you got, like, pretty close with him, but then you were also in a love triangle.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yes. Yep.

[Podcast Host]

With Rhett B. Dot. Coach B.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Coach B.

[Podcast Host]

How was that for you? Like, I feel like a lot of people handled the. On your season, at least the triangles a little bit more chaotic, whereas, like, you were more calm and you handled things, like, very elegantly.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. It's interesting watching it back, because I didn't know the details of their relationship. I knew that they broke things off, and I knew that it was, like, a mutual thing. And I did know that she was bisexual. Like, I. Or I don't know if she identifies as bisexual, but I knew that she had been with women. Yeah. Yeah. So it was. It was interesting.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

We were both dating other people at the end. I was just dating him.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

So I just. I felt a lot of respect for Brit. We weren't really close in the pods just. Cause we're there for so many hours, and I can. Sometimes I can just, like, crawl into my little corner. But we developed our relationship more afterwards, but I think we both were, like, very respectful of each other throughout the process. And I think both were saying, like, you'll be happy either way. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Like, how did you feel watching back of her? Kind of, like, rooting for you after, like, she broke up with him. Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I know her character, and that's 100% Brit, so. Yeah, that makes me feel good.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I feel like a lot of people can Take note.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Of how to bow out with some grace. Yeah. And not try to ruin it for someone else. Not saying Madison's name, but, like, you can, like, literally take notes.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Absolutely.

[Podcast Host]

Because there is a way to, like, either one, be rejected or two, bow out. And I think she did it with so much class.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yes, she did.

[Podcast Host]

And then the fact that she, like, bigged you up in the process and, like, kind of was like, you know what? This is my girl. I could see this for you, too. I thought that's very admirable of me.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. And I watched that back with everybody else, too. I didn't know that she said all those nice things.

[Podcast Host]

That was so sweet.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, my gosh. Speaking of. People are kind of reacting to your reveal.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Reveal. Oh, my God. To be fair, he did give me, like, five compliments back to back. So I was just being a polite girl, a Midwestern girl.

[Podcast Host]

Wait, so when the doors opened, were you so nervous?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, I was so nervous. And I'm watching it back. It's very evident that I was extremely nervous.

[Podcast Host]

You look so cute.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Thank you. Thank you. I was, like, the only one with the short dress. I think everybody was like, that was a good choice.

[Podcast Host]

Thank you.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Thank you. I was very nervous. So, yes, I said thank you a million times. But I've been able to, like, kind of make fun of myself through this process because we're not going to say everything right and whatever. So I've been able to laugh.

[Podcast Host]

No, it was hilarious. Like, literally, there's this one girl on TikTok right now. I think she, like.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Oh, yes.

[Podcast Host]

She's like, thank you.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I know. She slid in my DMs. We, like, talked about it. I followed her. She followed me back. She did a really good job.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, she did. She ate that down. So, okay, you see him? Are you. What is your first thought? Are we attracted? Is he your type?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

The funny thing is I have, like, a crazy imagination, so I feel like I was. And I felt like I knew what everybody looked like, all the guys. I had a good idea of exactly what they look like. So I. And he said his name. He told me what his mom's name was, his dad's name, and he's from this area that we're both from. And I just kind of knew that he was biracial. Like, I kind of pictured this man. He said he played basketball, so he was kind of exactly what I thought he would be. I mean, you can't think of people's, like, character, like, physical features, I guess. But I kind of figured what he looked like a little bit from our conversation. So nothing surprised me about what he looked like. But instantly I think I was attracted to him. It was just so. Such an awkward moment.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

So I'm like holding his hand, trying to like ground myself, but I was just, ah, a mess.

[Podcast Host]

Is he someone that you would go for normally?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I don't think that, like if we were at a bar, we would talk to each other. I think I usually like being approached and like somebody kind of talking to me with confidence. And I don't think he would naturally have the confidence to like come over and talk to me, but I don't think he's unattractive. There was a instant like. And then even on the getaway, we like connected very quickly. Physically. Yeah, physically.

[Podcast Host]

That's good. Yeah. So there's also chatter about his response to Brit's news about that she had been with women. Yeah, one, I guess. Did you know that he responded that way prior or you're watching this in real time?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

No, I'm watching this back with you guys. I knew that that was a topic for them, but I didn't know his response to that. I thought it was interesting watching it back.

[Podcast Host]

Had you known that response, would that have changed anything for you?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, I think that I. Once we got engaged, I learned a lot more about his beliefs in general that we didn't talk about in depth in the past.

[Podcast Host]

Girl. I learned about his beliefs and he didn't even have to say shit. And I was like, I already know where you're going.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

So I learned a lot more. This is a two part process for a reason. And I think that we just opened up a lot more once we got back to Minnesota. So yeah, the whole thing, watching it back paints a whole different picture.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, let me put these cards down. Cause so you're saying that he opened up a lot about his beliefs and we didn't see any of that putting up about any beliefs. No.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Refuse.

[Podcast Host]

No.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

He refused to talk about it on camera.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. What are his beliefs? Like literally on anything. Cause I don't know anything besides basketball. I don't know what he believes in.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I don't know what he stands for. I still feel so awkward, like saying exactly what he believes. And a lot of times I would ask him and he wouldn't even the politics stuff, we kind of like transitioned to politics because religious stuff was so weird, you know, so we kind of. He wouldn't really go in depth with these things. But he just likes to say he has conservative Christian views.

[Podcast Host]

And what does that mean?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

They aren't very inclusive.

[Podcast Host]

And what does that mean? Okay, listen, I've been prepped. No. Because I learned something today called Minnesota nice.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

I'm not from Minnesota.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I know.

[Podcast Host]

So we don't have shit to be nice about. And it's not, like, being mean, but it's just, like, there's so much that we did not see. And I feel like you were trying to pull these conversations out of him that, like, we're all like, yeah, what? What is it?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I know.

[Podcast Host]

So he's. He's what, Christian conservative.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Very specific feelings about the LGBTQ community and people of other religions. And I just. To be honest with you, I think Devin was taught these things growing up, and unfortunately, he hasn't questioned any of these things. Right. Because in the conversation, I'm like, oh, you know, he's like, if. If you don't take Jesus to be your Lord and savior, you're going to hell. You know what I mean? And I'm like, well, Jesus was a Jew, so how do you.

[Podcast Host]

How do you explain that?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

And he's like, jesus is a Jew. You know what I mean? Like, there's just not the. You know, there just was not the depth there. He didn't. He hasn't thought about these things or questioned them in that way.

[Podcast Host]

So do you think because Brit was so open about her past that that is what ultimately led to you and breaking up?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Me or them breaking up? Oh, yeah. Oh, definitely. Definitely. But at the time, he was like, yeah, I think it sounded like he was like, yeah, well, that's something for me to think about, but. No, you weren't gonna think about. There was nothing to think about.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Did he think that you were conservative or as conservative?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I think so, because we connected around faith a lot. But my faith looks very different. Yeah, very different from your faith.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, so my brain is, like, going a million miles an hour. But when you guys were, like, in bed and you were like, is there something that. Like, is there anything you want to ask me? Is there something you want to talk about? What were you trying to get out of him?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

We were just trying to get to more depths of our relationship. I knew at that point that he didn't want to talk about the religious views or his core values.

[Podcast Host]

Why?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I don't know. Isn't that weird? Right?

[Podcast Host]

If that's what you believe, stand on it, speak on it.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Right. And that was half of the thing too. It's like, if you're a Republican and you're a Black Republican. And you're like, this is why. And I want my taxes.

[Podcast Host]

Stand on it.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I'm not gonna like it, but give me a good reason.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, give me a good reason. Stand on it. Like, say with your chest. Like, don't, like, quiver in the corner.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

So that was another part for me that I was like, ooh. Yeah, it's weird, too, because I feel like we were. We had this emotional connection, and then I found that out, which was weird. Right? Because if I was at a bar talking to somebody, I'd be like, ooh, let me go over here. Let me walk away.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

But we were kind of deep into, like, meeting each other's families and, like, so far into it, I was like, oh, wow.

[Podcast Host]

So when you met his family, did they give conservative as well, or was.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

It just a little? We didn't talk about that. His mom did send me, like, little Christian little things things via text message from time to time, but we didn't talk. We didn't have those conversations with his family. He did. He did say, I think when we were laying in bed, that conversation about politics, that they vote conservatively or whatever. But that's story that I got about that.

[Podcast Host]

So in the pods, did you guys actually talk about his beliefs in religion and.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, we talked about faith.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

In kind of a general term. I guess understanding later on that he didn't want to talk about it on camera is probably why he didn't talk about it more in the pods. But, yeah, we just kind of generally talked about faith, and we didn't get into the specific beliefs. I think we should have gone through that.

[Podcast Host]

Do you think that if he had disclosed his actual beliefs, that he was probably afraid that that would scare you away?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I think so.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I think so. I think he didn't want to take responsibility for it.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I don't know if it was he was hiding from me. I think it was like he didn't want to take responsibility for his own beliefs.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, that's a red flag.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

A scary red flag.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yep.

[Podcast Host]

My goodness. Like, imagine believing something your whole life and then not being able to stand on it, and then now you have to protect him.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. It seems like he was kind of raised that way.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Like, my mom, I feel like, has always taught me to speak about my beliefs in a confident way, but it seems like he was kind of raised to not talk about them, which is interesting.

[Podcast Host]

Do you think that, like, not only was he maybe fearful of possibly losing you with his beliefs, but, like, also what America would think? Yeah. About him.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. Um, I think maybe both. Yeah, maybe both. Um, I don't. It's hard to even think that he had a fear of losing me through these beliefs. I think it was more so protecting himself. It was protecting himself from America. And that means. Yeah, because he wasn't afraid of losing me. It doesn't seem like he was afraid of losing me because he ghosted me afterwards. So I would definitely say it was to preserve his own reputation.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

And I hate watching it back. I know I was in a mode of protecting him, but I hate being associated with it at all.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. You know, why do you feel like you had to protect him?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I think naturally, as a black woman, we protect black men. I loved him. That was another thing. But ultimately, I wouldn't get on a TV show and drag a black man. That would be so far from who I am. Even at the reunion, it was hard for me to say. Like, I want to stand up here and say what I believe, but I don't want to say these specific topics because then everybody will know that you're on the other side of that. He's been really mean to me over the last year, and I still am struggling to bring up these topics because they all feel so filthy. But it will paint a better picture.

[Podcast Host]

But my thing is, if that's him, I know these are choices that he's made at his big ass age. You shouldn't have to protect him from himself.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I know. And I'm figuring that out.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I'm figuring that out.

[Podcast Host]

And I get it. Like, I'm still protecting.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Still. So I get it.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

But that's. That's what we do.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. And you feel like you did that on your season.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, girl, I'm doing it right now.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

There's so much.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. So your season came out when we went in, so I was, like, trying to watch it, but I finally. And I was still afterwards, I was processing what happened with mine. So I just watched your season recently. So I feel like even when. When I came up to you yesterday, I was like, body, like, whatever. But I'm like, that's not who AD Is now. Like, AD Is like a beautiful, smart, intelligent woman. And I was like, that was just so icky of me. Because she's not just body. Body is still T and will be okay. Body is still T. Thank you. But you're so much more than that.

[Podcast Host]

Thank you.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. And I feel like you're in a relationship now that, like, yes, girl. Yes. And you get to stand in that.

[Podcast Host]

Light yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Watching that engagement video was so beautiful. Beautiful, right? We all, like, come into this experiment wanting that. Wanting exactly what you have now. And I think for me, too, is, like, that it's still possible. Like, it didn't work out for me this time, but, like, it can still work out for me. And, like, God's protection in this of, like, that wasn't my person, but, like, you found your person, and I just. Girl, I love love.

[Podcast Host]

I love love. I love love, and I love my man. And I just. I can't be more of a walking testimony because I didn't give up. I kept that light about me that was just like, you know, I know I deserve love, and I know my person is gonna find me. And the way we found each other is so unconventional. But it wouldn't have happened without me going through this and him going through it on, you know, in London, the same thing. Like, we were living parallel lives almost. But, yeah, I remained hopeful. I think that's how I ended up here. It's just like, I never was, like, I don't deserve it or I don't. Like, yeah, no, yeah, he's out there.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

And I saw so much strength, too, in your season, too, of, like, this is what I want. And even him being like, oh, I want to try again, or whatever he did at the end, and you were, like, very much still standing in your power and ultimately, like, finding what works for you, and that's really empowering.

[Podcast Host]

Thank you. Did you and Devin ever talk about dating after?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

So Devin and I both had hesitancy going into the wedding. Yeah, we talked about it. Um, and he said that I 100% have your back. I 100% have your back. We'll get married when we're both ready. Um, so I was surprised watching his reaction on the wedding day or even what he said afterwards.

[Podcast Host]

I think he was surprised by his reaction. Trying to push them tears out.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I know, girl.

[Podcast Host]

I said.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I was like, I didn't see a tear. Yeah, Yeah. I think it was his family, too. His family. You know when. You know when kids fall and you're like, don't look. You're like, yeah, I feel like that's what happened. They were like, oh, baby. And he just, like, fed into. Into that.

[Podcast Host]

Did he. Was he blindsided?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

No, absolutely not. I have text messages. Girl. We. We were talking about it the day before. We were talking about it, and he said, man, sometimes I wake up and think, what the fuck am I doing? Like, there was hesitancy on both sides.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

So he wasn't blindsided. At the end, he says something like, oh, I just could not imagine my life without Virginia. I kept calling him and he wasn't answering my phone calls afterwards.

[Podcast Host]

So he couldn't wait to imagine a life without Virginia.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

[Podcast Host]

My God.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yes.

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[Podcast Host]

Okay, so then let's talk about this prenup, which. Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Immediately. Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yes. So we talked about the prenup in the pods before he proposed. So that was something that he already knew. So it was kind of weird that he sounded like a little bit like, I've never thought about that. Yeah, Yeah, I. I believe people should have prenups. I think that that's the way the world should go. Right. And it was something that I was staying standing very firm on His. His mom and sister. I think that day had a little bit of hesitancy around it, which I thought was weird, but it was insightful of how much control they have over him and all of his decision making. Because he had his mom look over the prenup.

[Podcast Host]

Is she a lawyer?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Right. He said, I brought it to a family lawyer. But he was like, my mom thinks it looks good.

[Podcast Host]

Honestly, when I looked at. I looked into the tv, I'm like, there's about seven paragraphs. Just read it.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Just read it yourself.

[Podcast Host]

Just read it like the adult you are. Right?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

You'll learn something.

[Podcast Host]

And then he comes back, he's like, yeah, my mom said it's exactly what you said. Yeah. Read it.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. Yeah. But I would want to prenup in any marriage that I'm in.

[Podcast Host]

So what advice would you give to, like, women that are in a position where they want to protect their assets and protect. Even protect their man, but are afraid to, like, kind of speak up about it?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

So financial conversations are super important in relationships, and I don't think that most people have these conversations about bank accounts and what you're going to do. We just have this idea of love and everything's going to work out, and people don't have that foresight. I think people should get premarital counseling and go speak to somebody and a financial advisor and figure out your finances before go in with a plant. So I was just trying to force us to make smart, you know, informed decisions with our finances.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Was he like. I don't know. It just felt so icky when it didn't have to be.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, I know. And he kind of changed his energy about it. Right. We talked about in the pods, he changed his energy about it when his sister and mom had hesitancy around it. So I was kind of surprised that he was even pushing back on it because I thought it was, like, a done deal. But, yeah, he started pushing back more so when they had problems with it.

[Podcast Host]

So a common thing that I'm seeing between, like, a lot of the couples on this season are the sisters.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yes. Oh, my God, yes.

[Podcast Host]

What's going on in Minnesota? And these sisters, the sisters. What is going on?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

But, you know, sometimes those sisters were onto something. Like, some of those sisters, like, at the end, will watch it back and be like, actually, she was asking good questions. So, yes, I think they're, you know, they should be protective. I have two stepsisters.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Are they like that?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

No.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

No, they're not like that. But I do think it's important for people to be, you know, fighting for you and asking hard questions, as they should.

[Podcast Host]

But it's also, like, you're not a puppeteer.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, that's true.

[Podcast Host]

Like, if you raise this. This man to be the man like that, you're somebody that, yeah, you're proud of, advice one thing, but seeking counsel over everything. And that seems to be the common theme here. Like his sister. His sister. His sister. Like my go. Or her sister.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. Okay. So I'm gonna take this brief opportunity to stick up for Dave and his sister. Go ahead, girl. There's a bigger picture of that. Like, his mom died, so I think she's maybe assumed that type of role in their relationship or they probably bonded over that. So him, I know he talks about his sister a lot. He talks about his sister a lot. But I think given the full picture of it, it's just because she's assumed that role in his life. You know what I mean? It's like, I wanna check with my mom. Like, let me go check in with my mom. Which is not like you having your own opinions. But I do think there's like, a bigger kind of sadder story about that thing. So I do want to protect Dave a little bit today because I feel like he is getting a lot.

[Podcast Host]

He is. And I just think that if you come into an experiment where you're inviting the world in and you don't think your sister would be okay with it, maybe this is not the place for you.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

That's true.

[Podcast Host]

You know what I mean? Like, you knew your sister before you got on the show.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

That's very true.

[Podcast Host]

You knew. She told you she didn't want you on the damn show. So now everyone has to fight for their lives because you made a decision to go against your sister, knowing damn well she didn't want any of this for you anyway.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. And that can't be the reason that you don't move forward. Like my sister said, you can't use it in that way.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. So I don't, like. Do I feel bad that he's getting shit? Yeah. But again, we're big adults.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I agree.

[Podcast Host]

And I think Lauren, like, had to. I don't know. I don't think she should have had to fight for her life the way she did.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. We were, you know, all hearing what was going on with the Lauren situation, and everybody had her back because we're in our 20s and 30s, and of course you're dating, and everybody was, like, dating before they got there, but. And it sounded so casual that, I don't know, it kind of seemed like.

[Podcast Host]

He used it as escape 100%. So there's this letter that was revealed at the reunion.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Oh, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

West Tea on that.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. So Devin and I had spent the day together. He met my dad. We signed the prenup. I went to go get my hair done because we were getting married the next day. And then I went to his hotel room. So he just checked into that hotel room that afternoon, evening, and he had a note from an ex girlfriend on his nightstand. And I asked him, like, who it was from. And he told me the interesting thing about this girl is we had a meetup where I Met his friends. And Devin didn't, like, tell me any back backstory to these friends. The only reason I know he dated her was because his mom said it when I met his mom. So he just wasn't being very transparent about a lot of things. Like, it was like, why do I have to figure this out from your mom?

[Podcast Host]

Hold on. So he brought a love letter. Did you read the letter?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I didn't read the letter, no. At the end, I was like, this is weird.

[Podcast Host]

And it was handwritten, and it was on the nightstand. The night before your wedding, what was the conversation?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, he was. He just said it was from her, and I just thought that was weird at that point. There was a check missing. There was a lot. There was a lot of stuff going on.

[Podcast Host]

Why was he hiding money?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, that was really weird for me too.

[Podcast Host]

How'd you find that out? The mom said.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yep. So I don't know if it was like, we got married on a Monday, so Thursday or Friday. So like three or four days before the wedding, I went to a basketball game because they were in playoffs or whatever. And his mom came up to me and was like, oh, my God. Kind of bragging, like, my boss gave you guys a thousand dollar check for our. For your wedding present. And she was like, did Devin tell you?

[Podcast Host]

I was like, he's like, I'm not putting that in the prenup. I'm keeping my thousand dollars.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I know. And so it was his birthday weekend. So I put together this gift basket and hundreds of dollars of. Hundreds of dollars gift cards to all his favorite places, like Nike, Lululemon, all the things. And I was like, he got that too. He got $500 there. He got a thousand dollars over there. So it was just.

[Podcast Host]

Girl.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

He came up, didn't he? He came up.

[Podcast Host]

You said you were willing to pay his debts.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Okay. So our conversation around finances were very much like, we're both contributing to this household, which I'm 100% fine with. Of like, we're contributing to this household. We work on our finances together. If I come in with debt or you come in like, we can work. We can work this out. Let's figure out how we can do this and both contribute to this. But that wasn't what was happening in those few weeks that we were.

[Podcast Host]

What was happening.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I was paying for all the foods that we were eating in the weeks he didn't feed me once. And it's not a money thing. It's a thoughtful thing.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

You never were driving home from work and thought, I wonder if she ate something.

[Podcast Host]

Did you have those conversations?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, we talked. I asked him that specifically and he was like, I didn't know it was.

[Podcast Host]

A competition to feed me.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

To feed me, you know, so it was just like a maturity thing and emotional intelligence. Like, it was just so many different things at the end that were just kind of rubbing up against each other.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Do you think age played a role?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I don't want to just say age. It's just like a maturity.

[Podcast Host]

Do you think, like, after you reached out to him and called him, if he hadn't ghosted you, do you think that you guys would have tried to date or work it out?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. So what I've learned about myself through this process is I definitely drive past Red Flag.

[Podcast Host]

Mm. Same.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. So the good thing about this process is it requires you to make a decision in six weeks. I have dated the wrong man for six months, so I definitely probably would have, like, entertained it a little bit longer. I think through the process, you're so emotionally invested and you kind of just get kind of foggy. Right. So coming out of it, I think I would have had more clarity of like, this is not going to work. Yeah, this is not going to work. But I wish he handled me with more respect and love afterwards because I deserve that. We didn't need to ride off in the sunset together. We didn't need to be friends if you couldn't handle that. But you needed to treat me with the love and respect that I treated you.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

With this entire time.

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[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

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[Podcast Host]

When you were reaching out to him, what were you one asking, and what were you hoping to get out of it?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, we were talking about a number of things at the end. At the end, there were people on his side who were like, you better get your girl, yelling over to my side. His sister said something kind of snappy at the wedding. At the wedding? At the wedding?

[Podcast Host]

Yes. Wait, what do you mean, get your girl?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

They were like, y'all better get your girl. Like, talking about me. Mind you, I'm. I'm in tears. I'm distraught like this. Obviously, I didn't go up here to. To embarrass this man, to hurt him.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

So they were very much rah, rah at the wedding.

[Podcast Host]

The sister.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yes, the sister. Other people from his side.

[Podcast Host]

Yes. We need to do a background check on the sisters next.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yes. So we were kind of talking about that. Right. Even if we were going to entertain a relationship going forward, I need to know why your family turned on me so quick. Like, my dad hugged him and, like, gave him a lot of love and respect afterwards. Like, I'm disappointed, too, but you're a really good guy. Like, that's the family I came from. These people were like, I'm serious. If I would have said yes, my last name would have been Buckley the next day.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

And they turned on me so quickly with no understanding of. No, like, grace at all. Like, it was such a. It was such a good moment for me of, like, oh, my. Thank you. Thank God I didn't say yes because I could have been a part of this family. Crazy.

[Podcast Host]

Well, it's. It's relatable, first of all. It is relatable. It is relatable because you see immediately how you're treated when things don't go their way. And you would have signed up for a lifetime of battling sisters.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Absolutely. And it's like, we're. We're signing up for a marriage, and.

[Podcast Host]

You'Re marrying the family. Yeah, yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

We're signing up for a life of marriage. It's not going to be easy. I'm young, and I look nice in this wedding gown. This is. This is a great time to be alive, but, like, how are we going to deal with obstacles?

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

This was a.

[Podcast Host]

He's gonna have to call his mom.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

And answer my phone calls. Like, what? This is how you handle problems? We didn't have a lot of disagreements or problems throughout the process. So this was an opportunity for one. For you to protect me, like I had been doing the entire time for you. So it just was very IO does.

[Podcast Host]

He see it as. That. As you were protecting him?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I don't think so. So, yeah, I don't think so.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what goes on in that head.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

I have another random question, because on the Internet, and after I watch it, I'm like, I had to rewind it. Was he addicted to ibuprofen?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Oh, okay. So, girl, girl, girl.

[Podcast Host]

Did we miss something that took 24 ibuprofen?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

So he tells me and Britt the same story, which I think is interesting, because in the process, I think he's supposed to tell the person he's proposing to.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

The story.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

So I don't know what that was about. That was. That was something I think I learned through just watching it. So he tells us this story, and in the moment, to me, it sounds like he's just telling me about a hard time in his life. He did talk about the ibuprofen of, like, yeah, there were 10 or I would take this many of it. But I know you can't be addicted to ibuprofen. I think it was just like him saying, I went through this really hard time. I had this surgery and I went to God and prayed about it. I was like, that is so good that you have your faith and you know where to go. It wasn't really about the ibuprofen, but afterwards I found out that he very much felt like he had, you know, a problem with ibuprofen. So people. People look at me about to protect him again. But I think people don't know much about medicine. But he. Yeah, I think he did think that. I'll say that.

[Podcast Host]

I am very rarely at a loss of words.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. Everybody has their own battles. Ibuprofen got the best of him.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I also wonder, too, because if you're having surgeries, they're prescribing you real medication.

[Podcast Host]

That's another thing. It's like, is he protecting himself from the. Like, what is it? Because when you are hiding from your reality and your real truth right then. Now we're all confused.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Was it ibuprofen?

[Podcast Host]

Was it ibuprofen?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

No one's taking 24 ibuprofens. And having that be, like, their core story of, I need to tell this to my. The woman that I'm about to marry. So what is the truth?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, we don't know the truth.

[Podcast Host]

We know the truth. Yes, we know the truth.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Which is, you know, nothing to laugh about and giggle about. But, like, don't. If you're going to protect yourself, do it right. Don't fabricate some story to have us all thinking, like, damn, let me not take this Tylenol, or I'm going to have a problem. I don't know. There's a lot of hiding, protecting. And now we're all. We've all cultivated the story because you refuse to be yourself.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yep. And now I feel like I have to protect you too. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Are you gonna. How. How much longer are you gonna protect him at the expense of yourself?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, that's. That was the biggest takeaway for me. That was the biggest takeaway for me. That is not my responsibility to protect a grown man.

[Podcast Host]

You don't even know who you're protecting.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I know.

[Podcast Host]

You don't even know what you're protecting.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I know you.

[Podcast Host]

He doesn't even, like, have a full image of who he is and who he wants to present.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So now you're jumping the hoops trying to figure out, do I protect his politics? Do I protect his religious beliefs? Do I protect his ibuprofen addiction? Like, you don't even know what you're protecting. So now you look silly being like, people, you know, like, what are we talking about? What are we actually talking about?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I agree. I know it's hard. I think that. I do think, culturally, it's very normal. Unfortunately, we're protecting black men. I think that it's very common.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Because the world is already against them and us. And we've already established that when shit goes astray, we're the front line.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I think what we learned here is, again, that the most unprotected demographic is the black woman.

[Podcast Host]

Mm.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

It's not the black man. It is the black woman. So at the end of the day, all the protecting that I did got you where? Got me unprotected.

[Podcast Host]

Very much unprotected. Very much left for dead.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yep.

[Podcast Host]

And still to this day, he hasn't.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Like, reached out to say, you saw him at the reunion.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

No accountability.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

You know, we're learning and we're growing.

[Podcast Host]

So you guys were, like, in essence, only black couple, which I experience on mine as well. Yeah. How do you feel about this season being so white?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. It was really unfortunate.

[Podcast Host]

Is that like. Like a kind of picture of Minnesota? Okay.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

It's not okay. We have the highest Somali demographic. We have the highest Hmong demographic. It's pretty diverse.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. So it was unfortunate that there wasn't more diversity on the cast. I think that there were four men who may have identified as black men, so two African men and then two biracial men. There were more black women. There were five black women. But the black men on the cast have said that they usually date white women.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

So Devin. This wasn't in the final edit, but Devin and the pods tells me that his type is Alicia Keys.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

So I'm like, okay, well, he probably gonna like me then. Cause he fall under that a little bit. But later I found out very much that he normally dates white women. So a little dishonesty with that. But also it's a problem with diversity in the cast and us, you know, connecting.

[Podcast Host]

Did you connect with any of the other black men or any.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, I dated a few other men in the pods. I didn't that. Devin was my strongest connection. But up until the end, I had a few other. I think after the first day, though, I did go in and talk about faith and I talked about wanting kids. And it's interesting, like, the cultural filtration around those things, because I do think I lost a lot of white men in that part of the conversation, because I don't know if it's a cultural disconnect, but I think they heard conservative when I said that. But from a black perspective, it's like we've always had our faith and it was like such a strong thing. So I think that there was like a cultural filter there. So I didn't connect with. I didn't see most of the white men throughout the. After the first day.

[Podcast Host]

You are beautiful and successful and so sweet and elegant. And I mean, I could write a list of things that you are. 1. Why are you so single? And why do you think it's so hard for us to find men that vibrate on the same level as us? And I don't know, like, you would think that when you offer all these things that the line would be wrapped around the door. Why do you think it's so hard, Ashley Blaine Featherson.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

That's a really hard question. Because I think I'm still trying to figure it out. I think I'm surrounded by strong black women, successful black women, and we're all still trying to figure it out. We're in our 30s. We want these Families, and we want these partners, and we're just missing it. Right. We're on. We'll get on the dating apps or we'll go to the networking events, and we're just not finding it. I think it's hard in Minnesota specifically to find, you know, people that kind of match the same level of success or same, you know, background. But I'm trying to figure that out, too. I don't know where he is. I'm trying to figure out where to find him. Girl. But it has been. It has been hard. I'll say this. I don't have the requirements that somebody needs to make what I make, or that somebody needs to make six figures or somebody has to have a doctorate in this situation. I was really inspired that he worked with children. So I want you to be passionate about what you're doing, and I want you to have a drive. I want us to connect around a drive. Like, what's the goal? What are we working towards? So those are. It's interesting how this list changes as we get older, too. And what's high on the list and what's lower on the list. This process wasn't going to be hard for me because I do not care about looks. It's not the highest thing on my list. It's lower on my list. I'm more attracted to who you are as a person and our vibe and how we communicate and your aspirations and all of that. So, girl, when I find them, maybe.

[Podcast Host]

I should be Standards, girl. Please, girl.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

It's so inspiring.

[Podcast Host]

But do you feel like your standards have changed now?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Oh, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I think I was just getting to a point where I was, like, settling in a lot of areas. Yeah, I was settling and watching it back. It's painful for me that I was settling a lot, and I think I was shrinking myself to match this man, and now I have no interest in doing it at all. Like, settle for what? It was a very slippery slope, you know, it was like settling and settling and more settling and more settling. But now I'm interested in freezing my eggs and taking my time and not feeling like I need to be rushed. I do want my partner, and I do want to have a family. I used to say I wanted six kids, but I don't know if I want six kids anymore. But I'm going to take my time and find the right person and not rush down the aisle to the wrong man.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. What are some of your deal breakers now?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, I do want to be in alignment with these core values. I do not want to build a family and a divided home. That is really important to me. I. I think love for me is protection and loyalty, and that's really important to me. So if any sign of you're not protecting me or being loyal over here, that's a deal breaker for me. I like acts of service.

[Podcast Host]

Same.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. And I need you to show me that you love me. I don't want you to tell me you love me all the time. I want you to say that. But I want you to show me through your actions of, you know, I get this coffee so you bring it to me in the morning. So I want to. And I don't know if I've ever experienced that type of love and. But that's what I want. And I want to be clear that that's what I want. And I want to stand, you know, behind that.

[Podcast Host]

Do you think, like, your experience, like dating on Love is Blind is going to make you ask those questions sooner?

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah, this was such a great experience for me. This has pushed me to ask the hard questions like dating with intention. Dating with the intention of marrying and like us aligning our lives with each other and not just, oh, this feels good. I think I'm somebody that definitely goes by, oh, I, I feel this way. And it's like feelings and logic need to, to match up.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

If we're going to get married.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. 100%. And I feel like Ali kind of mentioned it on the couch at the reunion and like, literally dating intentionally changed our lives. And it's like you think you're dating intentionally until you actually are getting to the nitty gritty of fundamentally, are we aligned? And I do attest a lot of that to like, the love is blind process. Because prior, like you said I would go off vibes. Now I'm in a three year situationship and I don't know your last name. You know, like, it was so like, I think that's one thing that changed the game for us.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Absolutely. And prepared for marriage.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. And now look at, look at you.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

That's a beautiful ring too. Did he just like pick it out or did he know what you liked?

[Podcast Host]

We talked about it.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Okay.

[Podcast Host]

And this is like, you're a smart girl because you have to wear it, girl. I met that man. I was like, let me start designing my ring.

[Movie Trailer Voiceover]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And it's like he literally to the.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

T. I think like a Pinterest board helps. Like, you know, like, this is my pinterest. This is what I. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Have it, have it ready. It's Beautiful. Ready? But, yeah, I'm. I'm very proud of you.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

Because it's not easy thing to go through, and then now you're. Not only do you have to watch yourself in real time on the show, then you have to deal with the backlash. The Internet.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

The warriors. I know that will defend anything.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Except you.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Yeah. Period. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So I just do want to commend you for one speaking up, because I feel like. I don't know if it was an edit or I don't know if that was your personality, but you see, you're sitting here so strong, so vocal, and so powerful, and I think the world needs to see that version of you.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Absolutely.

[Podcast Host]

Because you deserve to have your voice heard. And I'm glad that you could be open and vulnerable here. I really appreciated having you today.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Thank you. Thanks for inviting me.

[Podcast Host]

Of course. Girl, we need to hang out. I need to get you out of Minnesota.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I got to talk to you about so many things.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

I have to talk to you about so many things.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, we got to get. Get you out of that little bubble.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Oh, for sure.

[Podcast Host]

Thanks for coming, girl.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

So I've had multiple conversations with our friends from Love is Blind season eight, and a common theme that I'm seeing is this need to tread light, not ruffle feathers, not have the deep, serious conversations. And y'all, I think we've all seen the effects that that's having on relationships, like, whether it be with their siblings or family members or even in their engagements, I feel like the lack of speaking up and having these deep, serious conversations has affected the outcome of a lot of their realities. And I think why Taylor and Danielle were so successful is because they were probably one of the few couples having those tough conversations and being able to look at each other and be like, this is what I believe in. Fundamentally, do we align, yes or no. And you can see the success. Whereas other relationships, unfortunately, like Virginia and Devin, couldn't make it, you know, past the altar because they were not having those conversations. And I don't know what's going on in that Minnesota water, but y'all, the feathers will be okay if you ruffle them. Everybody will see another day. It's okay to chat about things that are uncomfortable. That's the only way to grow. That's the only way to move forward in this life. You gotta talk, you gotta have a little bit of sweat, and it's okay. I promise you, we will all be okay. You guys, thank you so, so, so much for joining me. And I hope that I can continue to bring these tough conversations to you guys. But yeah, stick around and I'll see you next week. Next Wednesday. Don't forget to like and comment and subscribe. Bye, y'all. What's the reality? What's the reality? Spread the love for black founded brands yeah Found here at Walmart Straight into our hands the do for curls keeping.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

Up their shine show the love yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Show the love Bolding, got my skin glowing so fine Black founded brands filling the vibe a dozen cousins flavor can't wait to die Shop now, show your love Discover all our black founded [e-mail] blackandunlimited.

[Virginia (from Love is Blind Season 8)]

The Quarter Pounder with Cheese has many great things. Maple flavored griddle cakes isn't one of them. McDonald's breakfast comes first.